#like. ive NEVER had a recent frendship that even hurt as much as to dear myself relationships!

[mejomonster]

not the comparison ANYONE is looking for in this chilis tonight but

to dear myself’s yiming? he is DESPERATE to have the kind of love wen kexing and zhou zishu have goddamn.

he’s like trying to trust and be open and pour his heart out First like zhou zishu. and wants to be with the person he loves forever. and make things work.

and his girlfriend just. does not want to meet him halfway. she does not want to find the common ground they could live together forever happily compatible in. she wants her way or no way, and its subtle but its there. and for her if yiming is gone its no big deal. he’s in her life as accomodating to her completely, or he’s not. but to him its like he Wants her in his life, wants to love her his whole life, and is willing to put in the work. and its a fucking slow burn tragedy. after ep 1 i dont know if i could even watch more and bear it.

meanwhile yeah zhou zishu fell in love with a murderer on an unhinged streak dang dude. but wen kexing IS willing to try and meet him back, to answer when asked, to come back when they have a disagreement, to see if there’s a way they can both do their life goals and wants together. he’s certainly imperfect - he’s not supposed to even be functional, and they’re in a larger than life wuxia lol. but STILL those two can decide ‘yes you are important to me and i value u in my life and acknowledge you value me in your life and will work on maintaining this relationship.’ Because both are also mature enough to know they could still choose to leave if the other wasn’t trying. ahhhh

also while im on the subject. yiming ALSO wishes he had what fucking wu xie and xiaoge have ;-; In Ultimate Note xiaoge tries SO hard to make things work and meet wu xie in the middle so they can make this relationship work long term and consistently. and wu xie was always trying. and like. literally just the DESIRE to make a relationship important in both ppl’s lives is a significant part of the work! and without it good luck, and yiming just does NOT have that part.

 for all his girlfriend is or isn’t compatible, for all he wants to put in effort to meet her in the middle, etc. If she wants him to want the exact same thing as her or else she’s moving on, then they’re not gonna last. No one wants exactly precisely the same things. She can’t say ‘fuck it communicating when i leave the city on a plane isn’t important AND i’ll lie about not answering my phone’ and also think their conversation about the issue solved anything. Now? If she’d said ‘sorry but i PRIORITIZE work and im NOT answering my phone at work’ then that would’ve fixed things! or her saying ‘ok i get it you worry when i leave on a plane unexpected, i’ll text u when i leave without notice faraway so you don’t think im kidnapped lol’ or ‘i’ll answer a text within a few hours if i leave suddenly far away and im missing and forget to let u know. then he wouldn’t even be stressed - he’d know 1 she’ll let him know when he shouldnt plan surprises, 2 if shes ok, and 3 that she values work over him and he needs to respect work time as time he wont get contact. 

But instead the way she answers him just kinda lets us know if she cheated she probably just Would go leave the city, not answer her phone, sleep around, and lie since she does not wanna fix minor communication issues when its over this basic stuff. And she just wants to tell him ‘u worried over nothing, and i was busy.’ when like... if it Keeps happening she could at least say ‘i will NOT answer at work so if its work hours just know i wont answer.’ at least that would solve the issue! instead of pushing it down the road! (but like even most normal people... if they got THAT many calls texts they’d assume someone’s in the hospital and its an emergency and call anyway within a couple hours of THAT many messages, so the fact she still ignores it like... what if he ends up in the hospital and she also responds by ignoring it... that’s gonna be a trainwreck)