#like. it's a self insert so that's how *i* am irl. bitch

[bl00dlight]

about people who think you're unfair when it comes to depicting aemond... are just delusional who mayhaps read aemond x reader or fanfictions or some headcanons... aemond is and will always be a villainous person, when he was a kid he wanted to bash the head of his nephew with a rock ( this resulting in him losing an eye and he deserves it, sorry nog sorry ) + his pursue for powers will be his well-deserved downfall. he's a raging misognist like the rest of the entire family, like... aww he is crying when helaena bluntly tells him the truth ? hope he'll rot with his guilt. you are totally right, he's a piece of shit and i can't wait to see his demise.

I mean AHAHAHAHAHHAHA. Speak your truth diva.

Look I love Aemond. Okay... let me just say.

BUT, yes no you're right like. He is fucking awful and the worst. And I do want to see him rot with his guilt a little, especially what he did to Helaena. Like I love him, and I understand him. And I do feel sympathy for him.

If I was Helaena would I have have said yes before he'd been finished his sentence? Yes. Would I have girl bossed it and proposed to him like Rhaenyra did to Daemon? Yes. Would I hypothetically let this fictional man suck and fuck on me?.... undeniably. Is this a parasocial relationship? Yes.

But it's undeniable that so many girlies on here fucking act like tradwives defending their right wing, MRA adjacent, wife beating man. Like you can want to cook him dinner and also call him out for genocide. Really gets me concerned about... well... how some of yall interact with men irl. A man like Aemond irl, is an incel.

Someone said this on reddit about the balcony scene, that it was like when an incel goes up to his crush to try and get her to be on his side before he shoots up a school. And AHAHHA exactly.

They act as if Aemond is indeed a victim through and through, who has done no wrong and is a sweetypie. And is it self insert fluff fics fault? Yes it is. People are attracted to Ewan... and their idea of Aemond. Not really Aemond as he is. And many don't want to interact with analysis of his character. Which is fine. No hate, you do you. But it is a problem when others make it fans like myself, problem.

And as someone with a disorganised attachment style? As someone who upon watching the Harry Potter series as a child who had their sexual awakening upon seeing both Draco and Luicus Malfoy. As someone who has been a Sharpay Evans defender since it came out and as someone who agreed with Rosalie Cullen that Bella was a boring ass... whiny as bitch....

I gotta say? Mean, evil and toxic platinum blondes? I'm here for them and I love them. And I am basically attracted to Aemonds character/interested in him because of the fact he is a fucking asshole. Okayyyy soooooo. Don't get me wrong I love the idea of soft, vunerable Aemond. But I can only love that because it's a rare thing for him. Because he's main mode is acting like a horror movie villain. I've always been about that life of loving dark characters. It seems many upon here are just... well... they find him hot and wanna smash. Which is valid. But it's not valid to project your personal sexual/romantic fantasies onto other fans who are just... discussing canon characteristics of Aemond.

And even reddit neckbeards do it to because they relate to Aemond. They'll swear he was this valiant, dutiful, scorned boy. They'll swear he wasn't a Valyrian supremacist. They'll swear he would never hurt or betray his family. But it's like? So basically how the fuck does someone campaign for the fucking third reich *House Strong Edition* be day and be a loving family man by night who would never betray his family if he felt abandoned/humiliated or hurt by them? So you know... the fanboys who thump the book like it's the bible also are FUCKING ANNOYING.

It's actually crazy.

[thethinkingaurora]

Sup, the name’s Aurora

I have no idea what I’m doing with this post so expect it to change

Chapter 1: Who’s this bitch

Hi I’m Aurora, welcome to my little corner over here, I’m many things but I’ll separate them out a bit

I’m autistic (self diagnosed, unable to get a proper one currently), I have ADHD (again self diagnosed, same reason), most likely mentally ill, (and according to my chosen family depressed and very burnt out)

I’m on the aroace spectrum and I’m trans (I’ll get to that in a second)

I am Girlflux(I have no idea how to phrase it), my pronouns are she/they

DMs are almost always open especially to mutuals(Friend! Hug!)

I’m a minor

And I think that’s everything for my core identity, right, onto some other things like my interests and projects (I think I’ll start with interests)

Chapter 2: And what does she like

D&D

Space

Puzzles/Ciphers

Writing

Mythology

Preferred music is mainly EDM and high octane/energy vibes

Sailing is a fucking vibe and I love it so much

House

(More will probably be added)

Chapter 3:What does she do

Ok I’m not exactly sure how to structure this properly but here goes nothing

The Observance

The Observance is like a puzzle game/ARG (Alternate Reality Game) that I made

I spent maybe 60+ hours working on it, whether that be recording videos, travelling to set up irl caches, coding webpages, coming up with a story line, creating characters and twists for the story, thinking of puzzles/ciphers/riddles, creating maths questions, creating new encoding methods or finding uncommon ones, needless to say I put a lot of effort into it and I’m quite proud of it

It does need polishing, proper implementation (some puzzles could only be solved by my family because it used languages or reference that only they would get) and to be actually finished, like the beginning just looks like a game start screen which is not how ARGs are supposed to work (last I checked anyways)

I’ll probably release it when I’m finished and I’ll put a link here [|•|]

That’s The Observance anyways

<insert other project here>

I can’t actually think of any other projects that would make sense to put here, like there is my D&D campaign which I mean I’ll probably put here when I’ve run it, and that’s about it for what I’m working on currently

Chapter 4: Posts go brrrrrr

Neurodivergence and Queerness

Basic Tasks that you might not have been taught to do, it’s ok it’s not your fault

Ciphers are fun

Chapter 5: Sideblogs

I run several sideblogs, I won’t mention some of them because reasons

@notifying-the-dumbass (Gimmick Blog)

@thecraftingaurora (Crafting/Making Blog)

@thewritingaurora (Writing Blog)

Chapter 6: Bye bye

So yeah that it, if there is anything else I should put here(that is not sensitive personal information) please just yell at me (idk how, dm me, reblog it, mention me / @ me, send in an ask, I don’t really care how you do it)

Remember this post is likely to change and be updated

Bye then, I can’t wait to see you around

Safe travels

Last Updated GMT: 21:13, 18/06/24

[onegianthotmess]

Amelia’s Ikemen Vampire Contact List

The contact names and group chats I would have for these chaos men.

Napoleon Bonaparte - Panty Sniffer👀☹️

Either this name or “Trashy Fanfic Author✍️💕” would be my contact name for him

IRL Napoleon wrote a self insert love novel, so I’m saying Ikemen!Napoleon did that

It would probably switch between those two, if I’m being honest

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart - Fucking Germaphobe✋🙄

Pretty self-explanatory

I’d make fun of him for it and he’d probably yell at me for sneezing and coughing around him-

SORRY I CAN’T CONTROL WHEN I SNEEZE, YOU CLEAN WHORE-

Leonardo da Vinci - The Bisexual Cat Man💗💜💙🐈‍⬛

One, this man sleeps like a fucking cat

Whenever and where ever he wants

Two, you can’t tell me Leo and Comte haven’t at least had one maybe maybe not drunk night of sex together

Also, it’s a historical fact that Leonardo da Vinci, in real life, was most likely gay

But I’m saying Ikemen!Leo is definitely bisexual

His sex drive doesn’t discriminate-

And there I go rambling again, this isn’t my headcanons on what these sexuality of these weirdos is, it’s what their contact names would be in my phone-

Arthur Canon Doyle - Attention Slut Writer💃✍️

He doesn’t charge for attention, he gets it for free-

Also we’d probably just end up sending each other weird memes that we find while we’re up and on the internet at, like, one in the morning

Vincent van Gogh - Bubba😇🎨💛

As I’ve stated before, the van Gogh brothers have unofficially adopted me, so I’m their baby sister now

And I’m pretty sure people would ask if I’m actually related to them since me and Vincent both have the baby face curse-

Theodorus van Gogh - Bubba🖕🥞💙

Again, unofficially adopted older brother

Except we’re assholes to each other because that’s how we show our love to each other

Even though the bitch calls me a damn hondje-

I’m using salt instead of sugar in his pancakes for a month-

Dazai Osamu - Window 🪟

Seriously that’s all I got

He just climbs in through the windows to get into rooms, even my room

He’s a weirdo, but so am I, so I can’t really judge him-

Isaac Newton - Apple Pie 🍎🥧❤️

I’m his mom friend, I’m allowed to tease him

Also it was either this or “Fucking Nerd 🤓” and I didn’t want to be that mean

Also I’m the only one allowed to make apple pie for him because I don’t make fun of him for it outside of one tiny comment-

William Shakespeare - Wilhelm Shookspear🎭📝🍐

Tbh, I’d mispronounce his name just to piss him off

And then I invite him over to piss off Theo so that Will won’t be mad at me because I find him at least decent

Also, he’s Vincent’s bestie, why would I keep my unofficially adopted big brother away from his bestie he’s probably kissed while drunk once or twice

Le Comte de Saint-Germain - Mommy Comte🥰🥰

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, Comte is the mother of the mansion and Leonardo is the chill as fuck dad

Also, the residents are his children

It’s literally canon that he unofficially adopted them

Sebastian/Akihiko Satou - Husband 🥰

Self-explanatory

I could’ve been mean, but I love him too much and he’d revoke my affection privileges for a week and replace them with twice as many forehead flicks

Meanie bobeanie

But I love him-

Vlad - Strawberry Shortcake🍰💐🥀

It was either this name or “Dusty Old Man😐”

And he’s pretty as fuck, so that name didn’t really fit in my opinion-

I give him free strawberry desserts, he gives me free flowers to decorate the mansion with

It’s a win-win, really

Johann Georg Faust - Pyromania💥💥💥

Tbh, I’d make fun of him for his death all the fucking time

Mutual agreement that we insult each other and try to kill each other half the time and the other half we civilly interact with a sprinkle of petty insults

It’s fun!

Charles-Henri Sanson - Baby Blues💙💙

He has pretty eyes, what do you want from me?

Also he’s a babie, he needs love!

I’m borderline adopting most of these idiots at this point but I don’t care-

THEY’RE TRAUMATIZED AND ADORABLE!!

ESPECIALLY CHARLES

[fueledbysano]

HEY YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU 🥹

BESIDES ME JUST FINISHING YOHR PROLOGUE IN YOUR IF/THEN SERIES

i wanted to ask...... since you're a tokyo revenger enthusiast, i wanted to know deeply about your analysis on draken, mikey, toman, just the whole series in general

since tr has irl japan content, i'm quite hesitant to tackle it when it comes to writing, so here's me asking mikey's wife 🤭

i also.... really need a deep char analysis on draken when it comes to him, i was hoping that you knew more about him as well

like from the surfaces, to the depths of his character

just like you, i am so utterly smitten by him, there's just this wave of- maturity? around him that i cannot describe nnghgg

but anyways, i'm just stopping by again 🥹🩷 (and will continue to do so in the future)

your if/then prologue impacted me as always 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 fucking hell like i forgot toman literally goes ghost mode 😭 i love and adore your writing so damn much

with tears of admiration,

- hiraeth

Let me just start this off by saying that this is my personal view on the series and the characters, based on their canon personalities and everything that happened throughout the series. There will be some spoilers for arcs that haven't aired in the anime yet but I will be putting a warning for a heads up!

We all know that the series circles around the themes of friendship, loyalty, growth, and the importance of second chances.

For those who don’t know, Ken Wakui himself was a gang member in the 2000s called “Black Emperor” which actually heavily influenced the series. He said in an interview that he has lots of regrets in his past and often wished to go back in time, so instead, he made a story out of it! (You can look this up yourself, I found out about this in 2020 through a Japanese forum whom I had my sister translate for me)

… Which is why I think the series feels very authentic and nostalgic! The mangaka himself experienced the gang life and made a whole story and characters around it. (Could it be that Takemichi was a self-insert and your other favorite characters are driven out of real people too?)

Draken

The #1 on the list as best boyfriend! I personally love the DrakEmma ship. They’ve always showed how they cared and love each other, but both are so stubborn :’)

*spoilers*

That’s why the Tenjiku arc and the beginning of the three deities arc really hurt like a bitch. I'm such a sucker for bittersweet tropes. But I’m very happy how Wakui gave them the ending they deserved. I don’t care that people say he had a Disney ahh ending but I truly think that it’s the right path to take here. These people deserve to be peaceful once and for all and they have it!

*end*

But here’s my relationship headcanons for him!

We see that this guy is practically Mikey’s father. He depended on Draken as a teen and Mikey even got him to be his motorcycle mechanic. This just shows how reliable he is. However, I feel like he may struggle with letting others in emotionally. He may be someone who values his independence and autonomy, and may be hesitant to open up and trust others. It takes time to fully know his heart. And once you do, he is deeply loyal and committed. He may value stability and consistency in his relationships and may dislike drama or unnecessary conflict.

Draken is an ESTP personality type and is known for his outgoing and spontaneous nature. He may be the type of person who enjoys adventures and new experiences, and may be spontaneous and impulsive. He may be someone who values excitement and variety in his relationships, and may struggle with staying still or with routine. On the other hand, he may also appreciate a partner who can help him slow down and appreciate the quieter moments.

Draken's love for muscle training and physical fitness may make him attracted to someone who also prioritizes physical health, well-being, and how they present themselves. He appreciates a partner who can be workout buddy or partner in his fitness journey. If he gets you to the gym with him, he is more than willing to be your very own personal trainer!

Draken's love language is acts of service and gift giving! He may show his affection by performing tasks or favors, and he may enjoy taking care of his loved ones in practical ways, like he does with Emma and Mikey. Like if you're a person who has dyed hair, he dyes your hair on your blind spots for you.

One thing I can also envision is him lending his iconic black and white patterned cardigans to you. the iconic style is recognizable at first glance and would send any delinquent out of your was from a mile.

And finally, Draken's love for motorcycles and his passion for riding them extends into the relationship too. He always has a helmet ready for you, in your favorite color. He loves having his partner holding him close throughout a joyride. Even when tinkling with motorcycle parts, he would find himself asking his partner to reach for certain parts and tools. They grow familiar with what certain parts are called and surprise Draken when they start to actually help him with the hands-on work. Kenchin appreciates someone who is adventurous and up for a challenge, as well as someone who can match his energy and intensity.

Mikey

Okay I put him last on purpose, and I’ll explain the best I can :’) Okay… He is a deeply complex character, who has a strong sense of honor and loyalty to his friends, but who also struggles with his own sense of self.

In this house, we love every Mikey version. Not only there is more to write about but also there’s just also a lot of him to love… thank you Ken Wakui <3

Now, being in a relationship with someone who has trauma is… not for the weak. Of course, everybody deserves to be loved. But never get into the relationship with the intent of “fixing”. It would be unhealthy to rely one’s happiness on another person. When you're in a relationship with someone who has trauma, it's natural to want to support and comfort them. However, it's important to be mindful of creating a healthy balance and avoid becoming your partner's sole source of happiness or support.

Mikey is often shown to be struggling with complex emotions. He just needs someone who can provide a safe and supportive space for him to open up and share his feelings in his comfort. We all know that he enjoys being taken care of and pampered by those around him. I believe that to be in a relationship with Mikey, you have to get on Draken’s level of dedication and trust. He loves the feeling of being taken care of and protected. Someone who is patient and understanding of his emotions may be a perfect match for Mikey.

In the relationship, this extends to having bath times with Mikey, making him bento boxes during lunch, doing his hair, or even the simple yet sweet snuggles. Just overall lots of acts of service and quality time. He is very lazy but for yo, he will never run out of ideas for dates and adventures.

Mikey is known to have a sweet tooth, he will always ask you to get him treats, but he prefers everything that you hand-made. And hey, look at that— he’d share his sweets with you too! Indulging his sweet tooth and his love for food in general truly is the way to this man’s heart.

This is something I came up with at the very last minute but since he is canonically a great singer, I feel like he loves singing you to sleep and learning your favorite songs. :')

Lastly, Mikey's childish side makes him a fun and loving person to be around. Matching his sense of humor and being able to bring out his playful side is a must. He enjoys spending time for spontaneous adventures and bringing you along to trips and hang outs with Toman captains.

But as much as he loves being babied, Mikey values someone who can give him the freedom to express his emotions. Someone who allows him to be himself and express his emotions without judgment. He appreciates someone who can understand his need for downtime and space, and who can encourage him to take self time breaks when he needs it.

That’s pretty much what I have to say for these two and Tokyo Revengers in overview. I’m pretty pleased with how everything played out in the story. I love the way that… a lot about these characters and their stories are open for us fans to interpret and imagine around. What do you mean “where’s the Haitani brothers’ backstory?” make your own! What was Hanma going to tell about his past? Come up with yours!

But what I really loved the most about TR… every depth of every single type of relationship was shown. friendships, romance, family, enemies, brotherhood, etc… There are many ways to experience relationships… there’s no one way.

I know this is long overdue but take my insights 🤲 this gave me a sense of inspiration and nostalgia from when I first discovered and fell in love with the series 🤍 I hope I answered what you were looking for 🤍

[lady-lazagna]

I'm not super back into Bakugan (that five-year solo special interest phase will be missed) BUT impulse buying a Shun funko pop has reignited something in me

SO I'm gonna write some random headcanons of the core six (anything after season one doesn't exist to me lol sorry) and their Bakugan:

-Hitting Shun with the Autisti-fication beam. Only talks when he feels it's important, super observant, can't tell you how he feels for the life of him (I am him, actually). In my hc, he's pretty sensitive to bright lights, fucking hates people touching his forearms or neck, as is over-empathetic.

-Runo wants to be a lawyer. No one's 100% sure where this ambition came from, but it likely has something to do with the constant sexual harassment she faces in her current workplace under the watch of her criminally ignorant father... but who knows🤷‍♀️

-Always designating this hc to the loudest mf in the show, but Dan is a youtuber. That guy is an absolute Clout Chaser. He'd do a lot of irl stuff I think, like challenges, pranks, storytimes- and of course, a lot of Bakugan content. Some would compare him to David Dobrik. He'd fucking kill those people.

-Julie lifts. Girl could bench-press you in a heartbeat. When she gets excited, she'll just grab whoever's closest to her and twirl them around like a doll. However, she's learned to ask people if they're okay with this beforehand since becoming friends with the aforementioned autistic ninja. ^^^

-Alice listens to Death Grips when she knits. That's it. Guillotine has the best rhythm for knitting in her opinion.

-Marucho had a big "in a silly goofy mood😋" phase after he stopped being his parents' bitch. He tried really hard to do silly and "outlandish" things that were actually like... bare minimum. He used an empty chip packet as a hat and thought he was going completely off the rails.

-Obviously Runo swears the most out of the group- girl has a lot to say, and a lot of it consists of "you dumb fucking bitch." Dan tries to swear just as much, but it doesn't come naturally to him so it always feels very off when he does. Marucho, Shun, and Julie don't swear as often, but when they do, it's always unexpected and very hilarious. Alice is the only one who actively doesn't want to swear.

-On the Bakugan's end, Preyas uses a lot of old-timey slang for swear words. Dan told Drago that "fuck" is interchangeable with "play" and insanity ensued. Gorem tries not to swear because he knows it's impolite. Tigrerra also thinks it's impolite, but sometimes you just need to call your fellow Bakugan a bitch (and damn does it feel good, even if they have no idea what you're talking about). Skyress only swore once, when she told Shun's grandpa that she fucked Shun's mum. Hydranoid has never heard a swear word in his life and Alice is determined to keep it that way.

-Little self-insert shipper Laz would kill current me for this, but it has to be said: Dan, Runo, and Shun are in a polyamorous relationship. Three bisexual icons. It was bound to happen. I could write a whole post about their relationship if I could be bothered. Maybe I will be bothered one day.

-Actually maybe the entire gang is bisexual (except for maybe Alice... we need a lesbian other than the pretty evil Vexo lady). At first I thought about making Julie a lesbian, because then she'd be a pink femme lesbian (just like me fr), but I do kind of like her relationship with Billy, so she's yet another bicon. I've also heard of this dude named Tsubasa Ren that Marucho has a thing for, so *slams fist on table* ANOTHER BICON.

-Okay maybe the Vexos and the Resistance and whatever other fucking aliens they added do exist to me, I'll just ignore their entire storyline and how they fucked over my three leading ladies.

Aight that's it for now. Idk if headcanoning works the same way here as it does in the beyblade world, so if you're upset by me making them autistic and gay, I offer you my sincerest eat my ass.

[riris-dock]

dear maria, count me in for ur relationship to kabu teehe....also angel of darkness & all the things she said!! :3c

Putting Champ in all of these ✌️

Dear Maria, Count Me In: What's your S/Is relationship with the character sent?

Hm hmm I imagine Champ looks up to Kabu much in the same way she looks up to Nanu(Uncle Nanu lol)

First time I put more serious thought into this so bewear with me-

I think. First time they meet will be when(in my canon at least bdhebeg) Alola league and Galar league start working more closely together bcs Champ works hard to get Alola out there yk? And she has to meet all the gym leaders cos she's. Champion and Chairman 2 in 1 package deal. Meets Kabu. "This guy's like if my Found Family Uncle was healthy."

I think. Their relationship remains mainly professional, if bordering on "you are my dad you're my dad!! Boogie woogie woogie" when they get closer. Don't think this happens until after he and Aster gets to the romance part 👁💋👁 He's one of the people she'll choose to sit beside in league meetings where she's banned from sitting with Piers( :( )

~~

Angel of Darkness: Is your S/I merciful and/or forgiving?

No!! I am a polite bitch irl and that remains a constant!!! No mercy for the mean maybe mercy for the weak tho. This goes for all of them especially captain and champ. Forgiving with a proper apology but always. Always keeps things in mind

~~

All The Things She Said: If your character was a part of the original media they're an insert for, how would the fandom treat them? How would they treat The ship?

Hit or miss... I'm betting most people wouldn't get her? Cause in official art I imagine there's only little hints to her non-Champion self like,, small, cute charm on her phone, standing in the bg of stuff w like a mini interaction w stuff yk? That stuff.. I also like to think of drawing her face just as glasses like (oo) so no expression kinda. But then analysers will be fighting for their life like "SHES BABY!!! SHE LIKES CUTE THINGS SHE PLAYS WITH HER POKEMON EVERY DAY SHE HELPS ALL THE ALOLA LOCALS!!!" 😭😭😭

The ship would. Also be verrrry hit or miss. I imagine because non work side will be more hidden it'll be a lot of "I can fix u" fanart both ways but then they're actually just. Happy guys

I have some brainrot about how she would be mispercieved because its funnay

[themindelectricdemo4]

i think to myself lke. back lke 2 year ago, im like...my friendship with my friends was so good, what happened?

really, i let myself go. i got a lot of disappointment in my regular life (couldnt get disability, more illnesses, treatment failing, family dying) i found that gong to college has helped me so much. because its like...setting a life for myself. getting a routine. having something to wake up for.

when all i wanted to wake up was for my friends, they were the brunt of everything, especially my moodiness that was becoming more & more unstable. i keep wanting to apologize but i hope i can form better wording in my head that articulates what i want to say the most (firstly that it doesnt justify my actions, and secondly, that im not crawling back to rekindle) im kind of stuck with overthnking it, so honestly.......it could be a world where i never directly apologize because i fear what my words sound like

i havent changed in that aspect in that i miss the connotation of my words often...maybe i could show it to my partner for proof reading, but i wouldnt want to involve a lot of people or anything ive accepted this is my human flaw & i continue to try & wrap my head around implications but it doesnt work. i do feel dumb ..oh well what can i do. i try to ask people to ask for clarification if they think something i said was weird (because if my intentions were mean ...i would want to make sure you knew for sure ...LOL.) but if they dont.. dont know what to do. but ive find in college, my friends ask me, they respect that, they make me feel like a human being & not some dumb (insert a barrage of slurs i could call myselfhere). self inflicted words..because i wish i could just learn social shit like a normal person & i feel dumb for not being able to mask this, or be able to study it enough to even pretend like i understand

im happy with the way my life is going now... i went to college, met my partner irl, i havent thought about genuinely kmsing myself in a good while now, like i couldnt go a month or two without planning it in my head, but im...actually doing good? its crazy...even my psych said she was so proud of me today saying she couldve never imagined me how i am today just because of how bad i was. i dont take that as a negative btw cuz thats me past tense. im proud of it.!!! really like, after whatever the fuck happened in august '23 i was like, ok. no more of this shit.

& it worked? i got all As, im in college. holy shit. the several times i would blow up on my friendsin the past into HUGE fights? the most heated i got was exactly one time where i snapped after a long day of being spoken over (by this person that i didnt particularly want to hang out with, as agreed upon with my friend because even that person agreed we didnt have a lot in common) & that...was it??? like im shocked. all my rage . gone . whar. .. & my friends are like.......they ask me what im doing/feeling based on things i do cuz they think im mad (the rbf & monotone voice) & im like oh!! oh my gosh no, im good! im sorry for worrying u & they were like oh! dw just checking. cuz i curated the baddest bitches of autistics who just get it fr . me & my current bestie we just ask each other the most blunt questions to get clarity on situations & i love that 4 us ... hes supa nice. love all my fends . but wow idk im proud of myself & this turned into a ramble where im positive cuz i was acually gettng mad at myself sadge but yea. i do wanna apologize but im afraid of being misconstrued & my paranoia over this manifests into probably never doing it. i got lving with my mother probably to blame fo r that (dont get me started on the shit she pulled over winter break that everyone in my family agrees she is ridiculous for with physical proof ok im reeling

[cronchywaters]

Bicc their personality trait isn’t contradictory. They just aren��t one dimensional like yo bitchass

WUFJAKIXJAKW

[sinnabee]

Tell me more about ur self insert? (not forced)

oooh don’t really know what to say? she’s pretty much just me lol! sinna in a mask but the mask also looks like sinna. idealized sinna? the me i want to BE (and tho i draw her thinner than i actually am, i could take or leave that bit - i like how she looks when i draw her this way but also i’m comfortable with how i am irl so it’s ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

details under the cut to avoid another super long text post lol

mmm sheeeee is a bit of a gremlin. likes to gently poke fun at people and act VERY put upon and innocent if they try and poke back at her. (dramatic bitch syndrome)

a bit of a goofball and much more prone to give into her childish instincts - less worried about what the people around her are gonna think and more concerned with having fun (as long as it is, at the end of the day, harmless)

favorite hobbies include:

- singing at the top of her lungs with friends in car rides

- doodling on any available surface (including her hands, sometimes especially her hands)

- spontaneous out-of-the-blue plans, like sudden decisions to go on a weekend road trip or go ice skating (read: she’s not good at ice skating lol)

- cuddling with friends on the couch and making gay jokes as often as possible. also platonic hand holding because fuck yeah that’s the good shit (good shit)

- making people laugh by Whatever Means Necessary™, even at the cost of her own dignity

- Specifically The Act Of Shoving Her Hands Into A Pumpkin And Pulling Out The Guts (also you know like, actually carving the pumpkin but holy fuck the whole process is so fun)

- making Official Looking Documents for stupid things and useful things both (i.e. a detailed step by step guide and it is color coded but it’s for like. how to find a Mans™ or How To Levitate Rocks™ (the answer is throw them))

- organizing things that would be fine left alone to avoid doing tasks she ACTUALLY needs to get done (incredibly well organized word documents my beloved)

- yes art and writing and reading obvs, but she’s a lot more consistent with it lol

Other Random or Weird Things She Has/Does

that bitch has heterochromia (as do i!) but hers is MUCH more obvious than mine is - my eyes are, yes, different, but HERS are less “oh wow yeah one IS more green than the other, the other is kinda hazel?” and more “one is is STRAIGHT UP brown and the other is STRAIGHT UP green holy fuck”

hair is FLUFFY. a little curly. it has FLOOF (this is essential, critical even)

obsessed with first aid kits, and better at bringing that dream into reality than i am. she has one in the trunk of her car that she keeps stocked and updates regularly, and one in the house. as well as some small ones in whichever bag she is currently using, her nightstand, and her glove box. (i have the small ones irl but not a big one - and these small ones are like, fr fr the size of a pencil pouch /sobs)

this bitch CLUMSY. she trips and stumbles and bangs into things constantly and is always getting little bruises or booboos because of it (and they have to be called booboos that’s what they ARE. that’s the OFFICIAL terminology. i work in a hospital trust me on this) she also delights and having (fun!!! cool!!!!) bandaids and what amounts to a small pharmacy’s worth of medicine on hand at all times

she will pull out a small black notebook and take notes on what people are saying in a heartbeat. sometimes she warns them sometimes she doesn’t. but if it doesn’t get written down it is NOT going to stay in her brain. for similar reasons the walls of her bedroom are covered in sticky notes (secured by cute washi tape)

alright, that’s a pretty wide assortment of random info (guess what’s true and what’s not lol) for you anon! thanks for the ask, i’m always touched/delighted when y’all are curious about me or my characters!!! 🥺🥺🥺🧡

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[untitledtheunknown]

Not saying you have no reason to feel "bleh", sometimes the brain just insists, but there is so much character in the little snippets and commentary and photos you do. Even if they are similar to other people's (which is really hard not to do), they are so unique to themselves it's absolutely worth it.

Hopefully you're feeling better soon, and can find joy in creating and talking about your boys again ❤

Its late so I'm gonna kinda reply to this with what has been going on on my end and where this funk is coming from. Putting it under a read more to spare everyone, but first and foremost I do appreciate all of you beyond belief for reaching out and having such kind words to say. I know its just a me thing but sometimes it all does just get to me. With that being said, feel free to ignore the whole next bit.

I 100% understand and accept its never going to be completely possible to make completely original characters, especially given the restricted format we have for CP2077. I wish we had more power to craft our characters, more like Fallout 4's character creator (which despite the game's flaws I still go back to just to make characters lol). The problem is I see Valor in game and these screenshots of him and while I do like how he looks... its not him. Not completely. His scars are wrong, he doesn't have his tattoos, hair isn't right, he's missing the ports on his body, and overall things just aren't 100% with him. But despite all that, 3rd time around I think he looks pretty good. Again though am limited to what the game allows so a part of me does get a bit offed when I see other ppls Vs that look a bit too similar. I know its just me, I don't take it to heart, its just upsetting reminder I can't make him look how he's supposed to. Same with Umbra, he looks nothing like how he looks in our TTRPG and it really hurts because I spent a long time making him with our GM and I can't show that. Its not possible in game and my art doesn't do him any justice. So it gets frustrating because I look at some of these guys and they're not my characters, just similar figures to them, but not them.

Which is really hard especially when it comes to Val because long ago he was a self insert that I used to project how I wanted to look. I Have never done well with identifying as trans, I don't like to glamorize it or be recognized for it. I'm saving up for chest surgery but I'm fucking terrified of having the scars. I just don't want to be associated and recognized with it after my transition just because it's been really rough to go through in general. I haven't enjoyed this journey at all really, and really wish I didn't have to go through it. Valor in the RPG was my way of coping and going through stuff. Instead of gender though it was his association with cyberware and having parts of his body and "humanity" removed, replaced with machine and wires. I don't project onto him as much as I once did but he still will and forever hold pieces of that history because that's how I made him.

With all that, all I really do have is my words. Part of the problem with that is there's literally years worth of lore. I've been playing the same campaign with the same group of friends since my freshman year of college. So like 6/7 years now? There's a lot. The issue is these are people I'm really good friends with. This game has become a kind of safe zone for us. We're all a bunch of artist that mainly specialized in horror content. We were part of a movie club that mainly watched horror movies. We're the bitches that watched the Saw series during our free hour in the school library, like we are chill. That also just kinda means there's a lot of dark and twisted subject matter that ends up in our games. Characters having experienced some fucked up shit, witnessed some fucked up shit, and have done some fucked up shit. Feel kinda weird posting or sharing some of the more dark things in detail. So end up watering them down and they don't always feel right.

Top of all that, I just don't have the time to do things I wanna do. I feel so goddamn pressured at home and like I should be doing more. I honestly don't know how half these people have the time to learn and do the amount of mods and edits they do. I'm not gonna lie, I'm envious of it. I get 8-10 hours of being yelled at by customers, and then I may or may not have an hour long drive to take my brother to work or pick him up some days, and then whatever my parents have going on. I want to get back into art, I want to learn 3D modeling, I want to learn how to properly mod but I'm usually so stressed out or just exhausted nothing sticks so I don't even bother really. It sucks, because I want to learn, I want to do things, but I can't. I feel like because I have so little private and personal time now if I can't get things quick enough its not worth the effort. Its frustrating but again that's all on me.

And in other news, lotta people around me are dying or have had family die do to COVID and other things. Earlier this year a close friend of mine lost her dad to COVID and she's still struggling with that. A family friend of ours died earlier this week at the age of 35 from unknown causes. I have another friend who is in the psych ward because he is once again dealing with mental stuff and wellness check did not turn up well. Round it all off, my grandpa has basically given up on his life as well, flat out saying there's nothing worth living for anymore. Given his health issues I know its only a matter of time until I'm saying my final goodbye to him as well. So its rough, and fucking sucks. Not much I can do about it, but it makes me feel fucking worse with my own depression and suicidal thoughts. I know I'd never act on the thoughts, but seeing how death effects those around me makes me feel fucking worse for even thinking about it.

The part that sucks the most about it all, and even something I've expressed to my therapist is I'm completely self aware that its all in my head. I know I can't control these situations, and that skills take time to be acquired and grow. I am so grateful for all friends and support I do have, here, on disco, irl, I see the kind words and love and it really means a lot. I feel like a horrible friend because I don't know what to do really. I know its in my head, and I know what I can and can't control. I know what I need to do, yet I don't feel any better. I feel worse, I feel like I'm distant, and dismissive. I feel like what content I am putting out is stale and boring. I just feel lost and I'm not sure what piece I'm missing to really get things going again. I love my characters, I love making stuff with them. I love the story arch I have for Val and Ker and I want to share all of that with you all. I just feel really weird.

[pxppinmolly-archived]

🍵🍵🍵 eyes emoji

Salty Sunday

I will preface and also again prob state in the tags don't take this shit personally if it applies to you as this is just MY OPINIONS and my personal views but they don't make me think of you really any less yadda yadda yadda I'm a bitter bitch whatever okay- ASKDJB

1. One thing that's been really on my mind lately and has always been a pet peeve of mine, even though I kinda... Do it too.. Sometimes but you know- AKSDFJG But I always disliked people using FC for their muses as like... popular characters in fiction.

Like. It just bugs me because I see that character and think... Of that character. And I'm sure plenty of other's do! And it just takes away the immersion, you know? Like if you use Mickey Mouse as your FC for your OC I'm just. Gonna be thinking about Mickey Mouse. It's good to try and use obscure characters from less popular animation because then it just gives the illusion and easy to see that person as that character. And of course popularity with certain properties varies from person to person, you know. Like I use Irina from Assasination Classroom for Molly's Modern Human FC, but I never even seen this anime or see much talk about it but there's prob lot of people who know it and see it! But I mean like if you use like Princess Aurora and stuff it's just like. Well that's Aurora to me, I'm sorry.

Even if it's just editing hair color and or eye color and adding some features to change it a lil bit helps but honestly it is just very like :V when I see it happen but WHATEVER.

2. Okay pours another cup of tea.

Honestly? It really fucking sucks it feels like you can't post any sort of opinions or 'hot takes' on your blog w/o it turning into a fucking debacle. Like not even just RPC wise, as I have this issue on my prsnl blog where I'm scared to even post my opinions cus I have like 9k people ready to jump on my throat BUT it's also so much more difficult in the RPC since everyone is so interconnected you know?

It sucks because I like to post my opinions and w/e the fuck is on my mind, and I still do, but I hold back so much 'cause damn if the backlash aren't rough in this place. It's OKAY to disagree and like. Voice your opinions especially if it's about your own comfort or shit you are invested in. People take things so personally too easy sometimes, and I know I'm one of them but I've been learning to just go: okay but I'm still gonna be doing my thing. <3

3. Alright hits my spoon against my cup

Speaking of taking things too personally.

I get being attached to your muse and all I get it - I am that way with Molly and even Vel cus her emotions are very strong and I'm empathetic as shit but jesus christ you need to learn to take a step back. I'm honestly tired and hate people who fucking guilt trip and vague post when their muse gets fucking hurt emotionally or physically cus of an argument or fight with another muse.

I recently had it my muse had beef with this other person's muse and the other person took this so personally and EVEN VAGUE POSTED ABOUT ME IN THE DISCORD SERVER I FUCKING MODERATE in vent chat over how upset and sad and ashamed they were. Even giving me THE COLD SHOULDER when I offered help.

Not as bad though with my other friend to where their muse was mad at the other person's muse and they deleted their blog for a few days but you know. <3

Like. Learn to separate yourself from your muse. This is why I also don't think writing as and with self inserts is such a good idea because like... Of this. It always bugged me personally. If you wanna write a self insert go ahead but please be aware of the shit that comes with it.

Like. Poppy, Kit and Aurora on my OC blog WERE self inserts for awhile but they grew into their own thing and separate from me and so I'm comfy writing them even if they still hold a lot of personal shit with me. MOLLY has so much personal shit from me in her and sometimes I get overwhelmed and have cried irl over writing and got stressed on her behalf but you gotta know that's the time to step back and like. take a breather and just separate yourself from the situation.

Like please just be mature. AOSDFIKJ

[mouthfacedickrat]

I’m tired of discussions abt paganism/Punk rock/witchcraft/history/insert other hobbies “poisoned” by the far right. Every time someone tries to say “those guys are assholes, they’re not my friends, and they aren’t representative of this subculture/interest” they get accused of using the no true Scotsman fallacy. That’s... not how that works.... Obvi someone who talks abt what “real” witches or whatever do is in fact employing a logical fallacy, but ppl who just want to say “I’m not a nazi, and in fact I hate nazis and don’t associate with them” have not done anything deserving of snide replies about how obviously this is the real character of their subculture and they’re just in denial.

I am so tired of everyone bitching about how “we” haven’t done enough to keep right-wingers out of “our spaces.” This is such a weird take. One cannot control the actions of other people unless one 1) knows who they are and 2) has the power to persuade them by either words or force. We usually cannot prevent random violent white people from doing internet research on punk music or WWII. We can beat up and shun shitty people when we encounter them co-opting our interests irl, but you are in fact unlikely to casually run into these shitty people because oh, idk, they probably actively avoid you and vice versa, since aside from your one interest or subculture or whatever, y’all have n o t h i n g in common.

And when you do encounter these ppl in real life? From each according to their ability, my dude. Why are we yelling at sickly teens on the internet about their failure to regularly beat nazi ass??? These dickheads run in groups, and are usually armed. Fuck them up when you can! Absolutely! I’m just tired of the mindset that we all seemingly have a superpower that allows us to instantly push nazis out of our spaces. That one story abt a bartender kicking out a nazi skinhead is inspirational, but can we please use critical thinking? That story is about a person who situationally HAS the power to kick that guy out, and it’s JUST one guy. Yeah you have to kick out the first nazi to make sure their friends don’t start coming around, but you have to 1) know they’re even there 2) recognize they’re a nazi and 3) have the ability to deny them access! How does this lesson translate to the internet??? Ban them from your forum? (assuming you even fucking run one or have mod powers anywhere online) Oh, you mean the way everyone worth a damn is already doing?? They’ll just fucking make their own, and tech giants have shown time and again that they’re not interested in shutting right-wing extremists down. And irl? What do you think will happen to you if you walk your happy ass up to a tent full of odinists at a ren faire? That battle is the organizers’ to fight, and if they’re not willing to fight it, they’re not “us” and you’re not in “our space!” You’re just accidentally in a nazi space! Woops, don’t do it again, I guess (at least not without some friends backing you up). 

The truth is, people who aren’t nazis already do not tolerate nazis in their spaces. That doesn’t stop the shitheads from running away to their own turf and continuing to loudly and publicly misappropriate others’ symbols and activities. I think the real problem is that when they do this, people consistently give up their subcultures, interests, and religions. It’s not when fash take an interest that the thing dies, it’s when you give it up out of cynicism and fash are the ONLY ONES still talking about it! That’s when you’ve actually lost your shit for good. And getting mad at ppl for not magically reaching in the heads of extremists and yoinking all the cool interests out of there is facilitating this. Y’all are the very problem you’re bitching about. You’re mad at people for “failing” in some nebulous way at a task that a) doesn’t exist and b) shouldn’t even be anyone’s primary focus. Keep being a witch or a history nerd or whatever. Do it loudly, and publicly, and set a good example for others who are interested. Otherwise, I guess you can keep letting nazis chase you from your own culture while self castigating bc you didn’t somehow prevent a white supremacist from googling “cottagecore aesthetics” in the comfort of their own home.

This post is not for sophists and petty discourse-jockeys to clown on. This is an argument on which you must be --> this nuanced to ride. Don’t fucking send me messages or comments about how I’m saying it’s ok to use swastikas bc they were appropriated. I’m not saying you should use hate symbols that will cause other people to fear for their life in your presence! I’m saying stop giving up your normal-ass interests and activities to shitty people. And for fuck’s sake stop harassing people who are obviously not far-right, just because they like My Little Pony or Greco-Roman architecture or something. Stop it. Get some help.

[the-star-and-the-smols]

I have some very specific feelings and it's probably just gonna look like another "fjshchshh boy so good and smal we do fun things together" because well it is but anyway

Gosh J.ed with old country music! Like mostly the 70s-90s stuff I'm sure he'd ljke cause it captures that free spirit attitude but I think some of the dumber ones from 90s-2000s he'd sorta mouth along to like that one song that's just about a big ass and he'll laugh and kinda dance to it but also he will probably think of his partners when he hears the song and blush like a bitch

And there are classics of course, like the songs of his time but I do truly think he'll more enjoy the 70s-90s like me and T.avi do, partly cause he seems to like dancing to disco (yall a disco dance party sounds great fjdjdjd fucking flaining incoherent YMCA letters) and partly cause that just seems to be what the Gays like.

And then there's the soft, sappy love songs of the seventies. So many I listen to remind me of them, and how I'd love to play them and lay on a big california king sized bed with clean soft white bedsheets with them and have a candle going and maybe we're just dressed in soft satin and it's very sensual and I smell their hair and it smells good and we dont talk we just vibe with no words

And then there's the road trip kinda songs from that era, which let's be honest, they'd fucking love modern roadtripping, and maybe we'd go out to the desert and hike a bit and look at some sights like the arches and the grand canyon and be dressed in rugged clothing and come back to a cozy RV with a big bed and watch the sunset and eat some baked beans and have some orange creamsicles for dessert and watch a movie and leave the windows unblinded and look out at the stars and breathe the fresh air and-

Okay i'm kinda rambling at this point but man. Honestly half the time the only thing that can get me to properly imagine stuff is music but yeah. All these roadtripping imagines are probably my quarantine brain crying for an exit but oh well

I want to take them other places. I want to take them to stores and to the movies and on restaurant dinner dates and honestly? Mostly want to adventure, find some cool things, forge a new path, make our own future together instead of looking back and constantly fearing the what-ifs

I'm sure they hate being locked up in that damn museum all the time and I want my canon to reflect that i'm disabled and can't get out much cause thats how my life is irl and I want to get some comfort in that? But also I want the freedom to imagine that so I create these weirdly specific limitations for my self insert because i don't want to be overpowered cause then it loses any sense of realism? But I also don't want to be limited too much uh

Yeah it's 4 am I'm tired and rambling but at least I got some good Boy Thoughts today

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen X Rambles about Chapter 7

“I hope Episode 7 is focused on only 2 or three characters with little distraction... Amiya maybe finding out that Ch’en is slowly becoming Infected and helping her come to terms with that. Ch’en revealing her past to Amiya and the two connecting over losing so many close to them due to Oripathy. The two standing up to the political corruption of Lungmen, shoulder to shoulder, as women that refuse to see another life lost due to the indifference of a city’s politics.”

-Allen X, October 2nd, 2020, Rambling about Chapter 6

Man... I’m starting to believe it when they say Arknight’s story mode is longer than the Harry Potter series. Things are getting crazy in Chapter 7 and crazy-long to in terms of length. This chapter really had me on the edge of my seat as I read through it and as I played through because 7-16 and 7-18 were a bitch to get through that require some of the most precise timing I’ve seen in this game yet. That aside, I enjoyed a lot what I read and experienced.

And I wanted to talk about it a bit.

But first, as always, a synopsis.

Coming off the heels of Frostnova’s death and the realization of Wei Yenwu’s purging of the Lungmen slums, tensions are high and trust has been fractured between Rhodes Island and Lungmen. However, in the midst of Ch’en hot temper and Amiya’s cool head, Reunion is plans to send the Russian Ursusian   city of Chernobog on a collision course with Hong Kong Lungmen, giving Ursus a cause to make war against Lungmen and its great region of Tawain China Yen. However, through some rather amazing political maneuvering and passionate words by Wei Yenwu’s wife Fumizuki, Rhodes Island agrees to mobilize in order to save Lungmen, the Infected, and the beloved daughter of Lungmen, Ch’en. But beyond Chernobog lies Patriot, Reunions greatest commander next to Talulah herself, who’s rage toward his daughter’s death is only matched by his disciplined mind and even more disciplined soldiers. It’s a fight to the center of the Chernobog to save as many lives as possible, even at the cost of this great general’s life.

An Addendum to 7-18

So between my venting about 7-18 when I talked about some fun Arknight’s lore a handful of people wanted to give me some advice on how to conquer that stage. Admittedly that venting was said out of anger and was much more acidic in tone than my usual essays and opinion pieces. I have since beaten that stage and I can give some of my thoughts on this advice. Some of it was helpful... some of it.

“AmIyA cAn TaNk PaTrIoT’s SpEaR tOsS!”

This is technically true and I was technically wrong. When Amiya’s S3 is active she gained increased Max HP and can in fact survive with a sliver of health. However, Amiya’s S3 takes quite a long time to charge even with her talent, and unless someone is actively blocking Patriot her can honestly spam his spear through for how long it takes Amiya to get prepped for her S3. This is more of an issue of Amiya’s balancing than with the game, but I’ll talk about that later.

“jUsT sTaLl PaTrIoT tO kEeP hIm FrOm UsInG tHe SpEaR tOsS!”

This would be pretty viable advice if Patriot didn’t one-shot my units. Yes, defenders like Cuora, Nian, Hoshigumi, and even tankier vanguards like Zima and Siege can tank at least one hit from Patriot without dying, meaning a squad of healers can just focus-fire on them while they do chip damage to Patriot and stall him out. However, Patriot’s phase 2 has him do constant damage to nearby units with his aura ability, so if he can get lucky enough, he take someone down to a sliver and let his poison damage finish off your staller before they get a chance to be healed. That strategy needs luck and some damn smart unit placement. Neither of which I honestly have.

“uSe SpEcTeR aNd DeBuFfErS!”

Again, this is also a pretty good strategy. Specter’s S2 makes her immortal for a limited time and pairing that with healers like Breeze and Celycon who reduce stun damage isn’t a bad idea. Characters that ignore or lower defense like Pramanix, Shamare, and Meteor are also good. This doesn’t work for me however since I only have Pram and the other debuffers are way too underleveled and not on my priority at the moment, and E2-ing units this late in the game just to take out one boss feels like madness.

“f12 CaN dOdGe ThE sPeAr ToSs!”

F12, W, Jessica, and FEater have a dodge chance. Their dodges are not guarantees. Yes, Patriot will target the ranged operator furthest from him and there are range tiles pretty close to his spawn point for that purpose. However, some of those operators have some pretty damn expensive DP costs and waste that on a chance to survive isn’t worth.And feeding Patriot ranged units that take over 30 seconds to redeploy is a waste of DP in general. And those either dodge chances aren’t viable. Them surviving isn’t a strategy, it’s a fluke, and you can’t depend on flukes in auto-deployment.

“Allen, you’re being kind of an asshole to what’s actually sound advice.”

Yes, I am. 

I don’t care. 

7-18 does things to a person, man. That stage breaks people. I lost sanity IRL just doing that stage or 20 times with a guide... dear lord this stage.

Anyway, moving on.

Story Notes

My, this story sure was thick, wasn’t it? It’s been while since I’ve been on a ride that wild. And this time around I don’t have any small issues to bring up. All the characters felt in character without breaking my suspension of disbelief. There weren’t multiple character arcs going on at once. And I even tolerated Kal’tsit berating the Doctor for reasons beyond his understand since she wasn’t discussing too many things that were above my head as the player.

No... I only have big issues. 

But before that, I wanted to hit on some actual important notes that were very good and smartly written.

Rosmontis and Child Soldiers

This was probably the biggest takeaway for me. I know the Arknights community likes to poke a lot of fun about the child soldier thing and how Kal’tsit is harboring slave children, but... man, it makes so much since now.

These kids aren’t just kids, they’re all infected people with some rather scary abilities. Popukar has a history of mental instability coupled with monstrous strength. Ifrit has powers she can just barely keep under control and could set Rhodes Island ablaze at any point. Frostleaf and GreyThroat are deeply traumatized from their past. The Ursus Self Government are full of kids with hatred, resentment, and fear of both the world and themselves. The list goes on, but the fact is that these kids all either have abilities that would be a danger to themselves and others if they aren’t trained, or have emotional hang-ups that might very well have them lash out at innocent people if not put on a leash. Wouldn’t it be better to at least give them some training and let them hack and blast away at the actual bad guys? Wouldn’t it be better to at least make them a weapon for some kind of greater good? And would anyone else really treat these broken, powerful children as anything but weapons and warriors anyway?

I know this is about chapter 7, but I remember in Children of Ursus Rosa asked Zima why she fought, and Zima casually answered that she just liked fighting. It’d be far better to have someone with that mindset working for an organization like Rhodes Island than ending up in Ursus’s fold and blindly hacking at something she shouldn’t. 

And I think it’s important to remind everyone that Amiya is the head of Rhodes Island and not Kal’tsit. She’s a big part of the organization, but it’s the bunny in charge. And the bunny that is herself close to a living nuke and is also has empathetic superpowers understands this probably better than anyone else, which is why she okays it. 

Patriot and Reunion

As much as I despise, and I do mean despise, how cagey this series can be with it’s portrayal of Reunion’s morality I can understand why a lot of its members can see the group as being just. Patriot is a warrior of such renown and praise, and Talulah has so much charisma and power that I can see the group overlooking characters like Mephisto and W when the other two do so much for their members and general people. The Guerillas under Patriot behave like soldiers. They don’t rampage, loot, pillage, or harm everyone in sight, only those that halt, stagnant, and harm the infect. Talulah has a charisma about her and attracts people, and seems to come from some sort of royal/noble line to match. And while Faust wasn’t mentioned much in this chapter, he was a soldier that started at the bottom, worked his way to the top, and made sure to play by rules that kept his moral high ground. Mephisto seems to be the only outliner here for some baffling reason.

But... there are some major issues with this story. I hint at them every time I talk about Arknights’ story, but I’ll go into depth here. And I’ll present these two issues I have in the form of a two question:

Who is the Doctor?

I don’t mean this the sense of the story, but what is his function as a character? Is he a self-insert for the player, or his own character to be explored and examined?

And either answer, to me, is wrong. 

The Doctor Isn’t a Self-Insert

It’s straight up impossible for the Doctor to be a self-insert character. Most self-inserts are blank enough to let us place our own personality onto them and the situations their in the choices they make are meant to be more or less choices we’d make or at least a general audience could make barring some specifics. Their personalities tend to be blank or at least bland to let us, the players, live through them and project our personalities onto them.

The Doctor isn’t this. 

There are too many moment where our choices are clearly pointing to one conclusion and most choices, though varied, give a clear idea that the Doctor is someone that care about the operators’ wellbeing deeply and hates seeing them used, abused, or manipulated. They are strategist and commander, but they have enough humanity to not see people as tools. They are passionate when they see other operators and especially Amiya in harms way and tries to come up with strategies to minimize lost and causalities. Awhile we, the player, feel the same in this regard the Doctor has dialogue that feels more conversational and toward specific directions than what a player would likely want and gives us some bits and piece about what they’re actually like. 

The Doctor hates Kal’tsit and wants little to do with her, only tolerating her presence as much as she is with the Doctor. The Doctor is a bit of a bleeding heart that doesn’t fully grasp that they are constantly in a warzone despite their strategic competency. The Doctor has an extremely weird diet and eating style, devouring live animals and ingesting foods that would probably need to be probably mixed and brewed before consumption. The Doctor still sees Amiya as a child despite her mature nature. 

The list goes on, but there’s enough there for me to say the Doctor is more like Hakuno Kishinami of the Fate/Extra series, a character that seems like a self-insert but has a number of traits and character tics that keep them from fulfill that role. However Fate/Extra, for all I have against it, makes Hakuno work by giving them their own internal thoughts outside of the player’s actions that explain their dialogue choices and actions outside of the player’s control. The Doctor doesn’t, so them being a self-insert feels really weak and irritating when the dots stop connecting.

But despite this...

The Doctor Isn’t Their Own Character

Too much of what the Doctor does is passive. For a clear as their personality is, at least to me, they don’t have much agency in the plot. Not enough for me to call them their own character at least. They commander the battlefield, but they don’t have a place on it. They don’t have much reason to interact with characters like Patriot and Talulah unless its on the metaphorical and literal chessboard we’re playing on. 

Every time the Doctor says something that advances the plot in some way I feel like it could be said by another character and work better. Amiya trying talk down Patriot and explain that Frostnova fought bravely did not need the Doctor’s interjections, especially when Patriot shoots them down in the same manner. In chapter 6, being trap with Frostnova would had worked much better with Amiya since that chapter was giving them parallels anyway. The only thing that really works is the Doctor trying to call out Kal’tsit for her treatment of Rosmontis as a soldier despite her age, as that’s only something that someone who didn’t have the full context could do. 

But... Jessica, Frostleaf, Frostnova, Melantha and several other Operators are young teenagers and even children. Specter and Lappland are clearly just as mentally damaged and still going into battles. The Doctor knows the kinds of people that fight for Rhodes Island, so isn’t this just another young fighter like Popukar and Suzuran? Hell, in chapter 6 we canonically had Beagle and Fang in a stage where they had to fight and tank Faust, why is the Doctor so surprised that someone like Rosmontis exist and works for Rhodes Island?

See? 

See how trying to give this character separation from being a self-insert and actively slot them in the active story does more harm than good? 

I think games like Girls Frontline and Honkai Impact 3rd do this better, where the player character is clearly more behind the scenes and is only a passing influence, if any.

But that leads me to my next question, which is...

Who is Amiya?

Amiya falls into the trope of being a cute anime girl with a mysterious past and dangerous powers. More accurately, she has a mysterious past and powers to the player, but everyone in Amiya’s inner circle seems to have a clue about it. I don’t mind this being a mystery, but... when our main character’s plot revolves around things the player doesn’t know, it’s curious at best, and infuriating at worse. 

Folks, I’m not someone that looks to theory-crafting. I’m not someone that reads every scrap of dialogue in this game to find out more about its lore. The lore, to me, is just fun and interesting. I honestly do not have the time and energy to spend on making theories and predictions that could be wrong and a waste of mental energy. However, with all this stuff about the King of Fiends just feels like a waste of time, or at least a last minute addition to something I could had been added properly in Chapter 8.

A lot of it feels like you had to know about the Darknight Memoir side story to really get a feel for what’s going on. The Sarkaz civil war, Theresa, W’s role back when Rhodes Island was Babel, a lot of things that don’t come up in the main storyline. Especially with that bombshell about the Doctor maybe killing Theresa. 

I don’t like it when a story expects me to have read the spinoff to understand the mainline story. This is why I don’t like the Dragon Age series and I’m really getting annoyed with Arknights right now.

This bombshell of the King of Fiends also kind of sours a bit of Amiya’s character as this young child who rose through the ranks of Rhodes Island as a charismatic leader being able to steel optimism with the reality of war to forge ahead as a proper leader through her abilities as both a commander and an empath. Instead it’s beginning to come across that her skills as a leader comes from something more supernatural, or at least something more forced than "small child is a good leader and can lead an army,” which is surprisingly more believable and nuanced given how seriously the series takes Amiya’s character. 

That said, I recognize this criticism is more my wish of what was rather than an issue of what is. I completely understand that essentially wishing for my own fanfic and limited fan theories to come true isn’t a sound criticism, but it's a criticism I have regardless.

But moving on, there’s one more issue that bugs me.

W’s Importance

I’ll keep this brief since I already discussed my bigger issues of the story and this is an admittedly small portion of the story:

W wasn’t utilized much in this story despite being a main feature of it in the promotional material. She has a pretty lengthy intro, disappears from the story for most of it, then reappears at the last bits of chapter 7 to make mean looks at Kal’tsit and the Doctor before being literally shoved offscreen again. I’ve already discussed my issues with the Doctor’s agency so I won’t bother here.

W’s banner should had been during Darknight Memoir, it just makes more sense given she was the feature character of it and her high physical damage would had been a goodsend among all the arts-resistant Sarkaz units of that series of chokepoint-heavy maps, similar to Weedy’s inclusion her is helpful as a lot of these maps could use a good pusher, especially 7-16.

Speaking of, Weedy, the other operator on this limited banner, has no presence in the story at all. Need I remind you in the last limited banner Aak and Hung at least had cameo-esque appearances in the Ancient Forge event. Weedy’s inclusion feels like an afterthought because they didn’t want the limited 6-Star to have a good chance to be pulled for the whales.

Anyway, I believe those are all the big issues I had with this story, so...

In the Future

As I always tend to say, I don’t like the idea of trying to fix something that has already been made and has already passed. It’s too late to change the past, but I see nothing wrong with asking for things to happen in the future as a way of giving feedback. 

To that end, I still have hope that Chapter 8 will have a focus on Amiya and Ch’en tackling Talulah together. From my understanding of some spoilers this is more or less what is going to happen. I also hope that we’ll have a more detailed idea on this whole King of Fiends thing is about. As much as I personally don’t care for it, it’s already be discussed in the story so I at least hope we get the full idea on what’s going on with that plotline. 

I also hope the Doctor either plays less a role or becomes their own character outright away from any player influence. Us speaking through a character that already has a personality feels weird to me and I’d rather not have it at all.

Anyway, that’s it for me folks. Next time... maybe I’ll talk about anime or something, who knows.

[queenaboleyna]

you know whats kinda annoying the fact that we really have almost no storylines regarding other interesting/important historical figures of the time period yet

like, the most we have is margaret tudor being queen in scotland but so far they haven’t really tried to make it about her as much as they’re trying to compare her marriage and queenship to catherine’s (aka how awesome catherine has it with sexyyyy 20yo Feminist King Henry, cause ofc that was totally a thing irl, while margaret is stuck w Old James in a way less fancy castle and with much less political influence).

meanwhile mary tudor has said like... 3 words so far and i feel like if i was an average viewer who didn’t try to pay close attention to all the characters id be pretty confused who this random woman that they zoom into every once in a while for seemingly no reason was, cause i feel like she didn’t really get a proper introduction that she deserved (i hope w her upcoming marriage to louis and then charles she’s gonna be able to have her own subplot)

lina and oviedo are characers where you have to fill in a lot of blanks which i get but i wish they were allowed to do more than just... constantly fix catherine and everyone else’s messes

thomas more’s role and friendship with henry was apparently minimized to being margaret pole’s... love interest?? i think? for some reason? i dont particularly care for him as a figure but uh what

wolsey will hopefully start to do more soon and Cause Problems On Purpose which i am very much looking forward too even tough i know they’re gonna make him into catherine’s Ultimate Nemesis (nuance does not exist in emma frost’s world but you know what, idc, her version of catherine sucks so wolsey can be self serving little bitch all he wants)

margaret pole is just a self insert of emma frost in an attempt to sneak in anti tudor propaganda which, yawn, its 1515 shut up about yorks please

and i feel like the writers are even aware of this?? like they’re aware they’re not writing much about anyone who fans of the period might be interested in beyond henry and catherine, which is why every now and then you see them sneak in people like joanna of castile, ferdinand ii, charles v, and (sigh) columbus in attempt to be like “lookie guys here is a reference to some people you may be familiar with haha they’re only here for one episode and won’t do much but please keep watching”

i also feel like this may be why they sneaked in anne boleyn so early on, they wont admit it but they know she brings in the views lmao