#like. im so broken so paranoid so damaged so traumatized from this kinda shit that they cant do anything without me panicking
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I'm afraid and scared and terrified
#i . doubt my mother would give her plants away...#i dont want her to get rid of all of them!!! just the ones that are toxic to the cats...#but i doubt she'll do it#and i get scared. bc one of them nibbles on whatever plant theres around when shes hungry#and it scares me that she'll do it while im out. or asleep...#like. im so broken so paranoid so damaged so traumatized from this kinda shit that they cant do anything without me panicking#thinking that actually theyre sick and dying and that itll be my fault if i just wait and see if theres actually something wrong#delete#like. im so tired. im tired of being so scared#earlier today i already freaked out bc i couldnt find one of them#but then i did. hes ok#idk!!!! im so scared all the time its either my dad or one of the cats and I'm constantly on edge and feeling anxious and my body hurts#and thats exhausting!!! and i cant even mention this to anyone in my house without them calling me neurotic and dramatic or whatever tf#and like its so infuriating that theyll just go “you need to calm down” like im a child or something and not realize im crazy and messed up#and its partly their fault
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