#like. i would not be here right now if my ancestor died of some goofy cause in the year anno domini 1225

[williamkisser]

I’m sure the gremlin didn’t expect to get fanart of him with a mysterious weird man holding him millions of years later…….

Sometimes i think about how the earth is nearly five billion years old meanwhile the dinosaurs first appeared only 200 million years ago and my head starts hurting………like what do you mean the entire history of humans and dinos is just a silly small goofy chunk of earth’s timeline…….anyways here’s a gremlin

You know, it’s also impressive that among all those years of existence, we appeared right now, right here- although to be fair, I can imagine medieval tumblr mutuals gathering to see lady williamkisser the first sing the hawk tuah Christmas folk song as we all clap and cheer around the roast pheasant, and jester Diegusting is just juggling the tiny Williams I was tasked to babysit- Duke concerete hooves is recounting the mystery of Naib’s missing gyatt, Andrewtual accidentally broke the banquet table with a mysterious purple hammer.

“are we mutuals in every timeline” for real

Anyways here is Jose holding the Gremlin because it looks cat sized

[wormsound]

THOUGHTS ON NIE MINGJUE

HHHHHHHH OKAY NIE MINGJUE I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS ON NIE MINGJUE! most of them are just I LOVE HIM and he deserved BETTER and the rest of them is just kind of incoherent screaming in my brain BUT I shall try 2 make words out of them

OKAY SO tbh I don’t know when my brain decided to get on the love for da-ge train but it did and oh boy it’s not getting off any time soon. I think I watched fatal journey and vaguely considered nielan for A Bit Too Long one time and now I’m just kinda stuck here. 

I honestly didn’t really give Nie Mingjue that much thought at all until I watched fatal journey and then the thoughts came through with reckless abandon. in fatal journey you certainly see NMJ in a very different light compared to what you see in CQL. you see his raw emotion and his thought process, his tactics as a leader and first and foremost you see how he functions as an elder brother. BUT this is bearing in mind all of this is while he is heavily under the influence of Jin Guangyao’s version of the song of clarity. you see much more of how much JGY’s remix is actually changing him and how different he has become in comparison to the Nie Mingjue you see in the earlier episodes of CQL. it is much clearer that it wasn’t just enhancing the resentment of the sword spirit within him. it was enhancing every little feeling and emotion tenfold.

you see this probably the most clearly with the different way he interacts with Nie Huaisang from the start of CQL to the start of fatal journey. when you’re first introduced to NMJ in CQL you see that he is annoyed and frustrated at NHS when he finally returns from galivanting around with WWX, yet it is no more than a sharp look and a sigh, mostly coming from the worry that NHS didn’t come straight home when he said he would. when Nie Huaisang’s actions frustrate him again at the start of fatal journey (when under the influence of the JGY remix) he lashes out at NHS so much that he nearly physically hurts him. of course, he never does because he cares for him so much and not matter how much the song of clarity enhances his rage and frustration, it also enhances how much he would never want to hurt his little brother and its why he never does, because he can’t. when he’s almost completely taken over by it and kills Zonghui and the rest of the disciples, he can’t hurt Huaisang. and even when he is dying he can still fight through it when he sees his little brother. 

NMJ is fiercely protective of his loved ones and his little brother is clearly at the top of that list. I’m pretty sure that his overprotectiveness - particularly for Nie Huaisang - stemmed from his father’s death. when his father received a severe injury from taking NMJ on a night hunt and later died as a result, it left Nie Mingjue - only a teenager – with the responsibility to step up as sect leader, to raise his little brother and to carry the burden of the soul spirit and the curse of the Nie sect. all this as well is weighed down by the fact that NMJ would undoubtedly blame himself for his father’s death and the fact that he was unable to prevent it. this is what shapes him into a strong willed and determined sect leader, strict with rules and discipline. he uses the guilt he feels over his father’s death and channels in into running the Nie sect. determined to keep the Nie sect as strong as possible, he follows the same routes his father and ancestors did; running it in a military like style and continuing to allow sacrifices to be made to the sword spirit. Nie Mingjue knows what his sword spirit will eventually do to him, that he will not be around to pass it on to another generation and the fate will befall to his younger brother. so, when it comes to Nie Huaisang, all NMJ wants for him is to do well within the cultivation world, for him to be able to grow into a strong sect leader in the way he knows he himself will never live to become. he is strict with him because he wants his little brother to be able to be strong enough to never have to burden himself with the sword spirit. and it’s the knowledge that one day NHS may have to that ignites his frustration with him when Nie Huaisang shows so little interest in following in what he wants for him. because all he ever wants is for Nie Huaisang to be able to do better than he has done in his life. he wants to be able to always protect him and it kills him that he will one day be no longer able to do that. so, when Nie Mingjue is dying, when he is qi deviating, the need to protect his little brother is still there, in fact it so strong that it breaks through everything else. the need for NMJ to still be there to protect NHS is stronger than his rage and hate for JGY. in that moment, if JGY hadn’t intervened further NMJ could have most likely been pulled back from that edge. Jin Guangyao pulled every string in NMJ’s brain and increased every little thing he was feeling until he was nothing but a ball of rage and hurt and sadness and a tremendous amount of love and protection for his brother and the others he cared about. it’s why in the end, it didn’t work. JGY still had to have Xue yang cut NMJ’s head off to kill him. he never considered the other parts of Nie Mingjue he was changing when he put his little plan into action, the things that would still anchor him down and keep him human. and in the end, his cruel way of revenge and killing NMJ for his own gain ultimately backfired on him and led him to his own downfall.

what hurts so fucking much about what JGY did to NMJ is that it wouldn’t have worked it NMJ didn’t let it. obviously he had no idea what JGY was doing to him but he allowed him to be close enough for it to work. ultimately NMJ tried to work with JGY as best he could. he was devastated abt what meng yao did and that he had to banish him. he still worries about what became of him after he left and inquires after his wellbeing when he thinks he went to Jinlintai. his true distrust in JGY only starts – quite rightly so - after the events during the Sunshot campaign. and imagine how NMJ must have felt when he saw what JGY was capable of during Sunshot? NMJ saw meng yao, an outcast bullied by his peers and degraded for his parentage. so, he gave him a chance, stood up for him when everyone else was kicking him (literally) to the curb. all JGY wanted was the recognition of his father and NMJ figured he deserved the chance to get that. he built him up and gave him a strong position of power, even wrote to Jin Guangshan to persuade him to recognise his son. but then when JGY turns around and abuses that power he gives him and uses it to get away with literal murder and to crawl his way up the ranks, NMJ would’ve felt responsible for JGY actions because he was the one who enabled him to be in that position in the first place. NMJ had very strong, very rightful doubts about JGY after he killed his captain and his disciples during Sunshot, yet he cared about him in the past and he saw that some of JGY’s actions benefitted the good, and he saw how much trust LXC has in him and he allowed it to sway his gut feelings. you can see as they become sworn brothers that the distrust is still there quite strongly so I like to think that initially NMJ agreed to become sworn brothers with JGY as a way of “keeping the enemy close”. he would’ve wanted to keep a close eye on him, protect LXC if necessary, and partly because he still wanted to see if the good he once saw in him was still there. he wanted to believe that he was wrong and that JGY wasn’t lying. LXC suggested the sworn brotherhood as a way to build a bridge between NMJ and JGY, and honestly? it worked. but only on one half. and that half is Nie Mingjue, not Jin Guangyao.

in order for NMJ to let JGY play him the song of clarity in the first place, the trust he originally lost in him, he must have started to regain again over the years as his sworn brother. he would’ve seen JGY do good work and rise up the ranks, step ‘humbly’ into Jin Zixuan’s place and he would’ve seen how much trust LXC had in JGY. each little thing lessened that distrust to the extent he allowed JGY to know of how the sword spirit resentment affected him, and to trust him enough to let him try heal him. his distrust in JGY clearly never went away completely, but during those 16 years, NMJ trusted him enough to put his life in JGY’s hands and ultimately paid the price for it. 

but this is where I think Jin Guangyao went wrong. he never saw past the rage and distrust NMJ had in him at the start and instead used it as another excuse for his actions. he never considered the fact in allowing JGY to get so close that he could try kill him in such a way, that that was the very reason not to. and even if he did realise that NMJ trusted him again, he was too far in his grab for power to stop. instead, Jin Guangyao took the small amount of distrust that NMJ still had in him, and then increased it and made him feel it ten times worse over and over and over, until NMJ finally snapped with him. JGY made NMJ resentment for him ten times worse for himself to finally give him more means to justify killing him than it simply being that NMJ stood in the way when it came to his grasp for power. but in the end, all JGY was doing was sowing the seeds of his own destruction.

putting aside all the depressing plot stuff for a minute bc if I think abt it any harder for any longer I think I’m gonna combust SO I’m gonna jump back to just how much I LOVE HIM and I just DO I don’t fucking know why, I suppose I have a lil bit of a thing for tragedy and oh boy is the life of Nie Mingjue a tragedy, and I guess I have a soft spot for the “guy with a tough exterior is in reality really soft and goofy around those he loves and cares abt” trope. I guess what I also love abt him is that not many people see it. yes, he has an incredibly tough exterior that many people find it difficult to see past, but NMJ is soft, he is kind and he cares so very deeply about the people he loves. you see him so different once you go back and watch CQL from the beginning knowing the plot and having seen NMJ screaming and sobbing in his brother’s arms, his death looming ever so close on the horizon. You can see past his exterior and realise that he isn’t just Nie Huaisang’s angry older brother. you see him kind and eager and teasing with Lan Xichen and what can be first seen as anger with NHS is really just worry. and… it just makes everything just so much more heart-breaking. Because you realise what’s going to happen to him, what he is going to go through and you realise just how much he never fucking deserved it.

and now I’m very sad and feel like I should go write smthn abt him retiring with LXC and taking up beekeeping or smthn idk I just want him to be HAPPY :( 

i probs could write more but im not gonna bc yikes this got long and probably is just still a bunch of incoherent rambling if it feels like there’s stuff missing there probably is my brain has the thoughts lmao it just doesnt have the capacity to realise what they are and get them written down SO 

tldr;

NIE MINGJUE IS SOFT AND KIND AND CARES ABT EVERYONE HE LOVES SO GODDAMN MUCH AND HE REALLY FUCKING DIDN’T DESERVE WHAT HE GOT

[luckycheesefoodie321]

ok...ok ok ok... ok... so I watched Mulan (2020)... spoilers + LONG POST (yo this took me an hour and a half)...

before yall scream at me for spending money on it, lemme just say i was fully intending to wait until December so that I would not have to give even more money to the Disney machine (especially in light of things that happened with John Boyega) nor endorse individuals who support police brutality or oppression... but my mum and sister nagged me to buy it so we could watch it now, and explaining the politics of supporting both Disney’s greed and the controversy around the lead actress and would’ve just frustrated us both so I paid for it -_- please don’t crucify me... 

also want to preface this by saying I am not Chinese (though I am Asian), and I understand that the 1998 film and this film have inherent issues, given neither were directed by Asian directors, let alone Chinese ones... so the representation of the Chinese culture is likely flawed (and likely straight up wrong) in many ways... additionally, Li Yifei has been shown to support the actions of police in Hong Kong, so just know I’m viewing her role purely from an acting and movie standpoint...

now that’s done... general rating for the movie

when compared to the original animated film (my favourite Disney movie of all time): scrapes by on a 5/10

movie that stands on its own as I watched it (just note I’m the type of person who can enjoy pretty much anything - even if I’m hyper-critical of it): 7/10 (I’m very generous but my viewing experience was nice)

if I break it down completely into its underlying faults and wash away the Hollywood sheen and the nostalgia filter: 4/10 for themes 8/10 for cinematography and the technical aspects... (this movie was gorgeous to look at and had some really fun camera work, sue me for enjoying the visuals)

Full SPOILER review:

For the most part, my nostalgia filter from the animated film, which I dearly dearly love, basically had me ecstatic anytime there was even a hint of a reference to the animated film (see: occasional notes from the songs), and also sorely disappointed when the acting or the general pace pulled the fun or the emotion from key points (see: A Girl Worth Fighting For being abruptly cut off upon seeing the carnage would’ve been so much more impactful because they actually showed the bodies in the 2020 version but instead we got this kinda funny convo referencing the lines completely separated from that scene)...

The biggest issue I have with the film is that Mulan was naturally skilled from the beginning and was told to suppress her abilities.. making her OP from the beginning undermines the 1998 journey where we see every step of her development both in physical ability and her emotional struggles... then through her wits, intelligence, and strategy, as well as being on par and even better than her fellow soldiers, she manages to defeat Shan Yu and makes us feel her “Hero” status is very much earned... so it takes away from what the 1998 film tried to show in suggesting Mulan could just OP her way to victory at the drop of a hat.. and also implied her being dishonest about her true identity was her primary flaw? idk thematically they were trying to be super empowering of women and the capability of women, and the boxes women are forced into according to society... but then suggest Mulan was always inherently gifted/had a special power and that is why she succeeded, while the other soldiers worked hard and effectively achieved the same goal (albeit in a less flashy manner)... so the message gets very confusing...

i felt that Xian Niang (was that her name?), the Witch, had a lot of potential, but I was also really concerned they introduced her to make sure Mulan had a female enemy to defeat, and Shan Yu/Bori Khan was a minion of this female enemy... so in that sense I’m glad she served as a foil to Mulan... I would’ve liked the parallels more if the “being your true self”/”bring honor to us all” theme wasn’t so muddled... Mulan was accepted while XIan Niang wasn’t because they both had powers, but then Mulan convinces her to take the noble path and so Xian Niang died for her? idk there was a better way to fold her into the story...

Shan Yu/Bori Khan was about as much as I expected from him... I think he matched Shan Yu for skill, though idk about ferocity or intimidation power, though the actor was decent enough... but I did enjoy his and Mulan’s fight... less impactful because he didn’t even know about her and how she was the one to take down most of his army...

didn’t mind that Mushu was missing... fondly referred to the phoenix as Mushu (though I understand there may be cultural missteps in a phoenix being the spirit/ancestor/guardian)...

I also didn’t mind they removed the power imbalance between Shang and Mulan and had her love interest be a fellow soldier...I really liked Yoson An’s character actually...but the romance element was significantly dialled back, so we didn’t get the bisexual icon that is Li Shang... also Li Yifei’s emotional acting was normal but not outstanding... so her feelings for Honghui didn’t really register much except for that first time they chat in the barracks about girls, and right before she goes home... (just me being pouty about him not joining the Imperial Guards to Mulan’s home and presenting himself for matchmaking... though I understand it was to keep focus on Mulan’s journey, not her love interest)...

while it probably wasn’t the intention of the 1998 film, the positive portrayal of gender fluidity, the specific empowerment of trans and bisexual individuals through Mulan and Shang (bc let’s get real, he was just as attracted to Ping as he was Mulan), all did not ring in quite the same way in the 2020 version... again I’m not part of either community, so I can’t say for sure, but this is what I read from it...

overall the fun was taken out, with the songs... I would say this is probably on the higher end of Disney Live Action adaptations, there were some fun moments and funny dialogue even, and I didn’t mind that they were trying to do something different, unlike some of the others which made it note for note the same... but ultimately the biggest flaw of most of the adaptations are that it removes the fun and the levity in lieu of a more serious tone... 

I accepted no songs (I was hopeful and then pleasantly surprised when they did pay some minor homages through the score to the original’s songs)... but the fun moments were meant to be intentionally undercut by the reality of the war... there’s a reason A Girl Worth Fighting For was cut off so abruptly in the 1998 version... it was the moment where these trainees (all of them young and having never experienced battle or war before) suddenly realised the severity of the situation before them, and it was in that moment they accepted their fate and duty to protect the kingdom...

the 2020 version just kind of had them walk through the carnage without any real build up... the grand battle sequence with the avalanche was pretty well done, the overdramatic “Hua Jun died but Mulan lived” scene notwithstanding.. i didn’t mind that Mulan volunteered to expose herself rather than be forced half-naked into the snow by the Chancellor dude... didn’t like Honghui got the “you listened to Hua Jun, why is Hua Mulan any different?” line... the “I believe in Hua Mulan” was kinda goofy, but I could see what they were going for... it was kinda undermined by the Commander saying “you dishonoured your family and this regiment but hey, you’re brave and loyal kid”...felt very patronising...

I’m not gonna lie, I kinda loved Cricket... he was adorable and I had half a heart attack when I thought he’d died... 

DIDN’T REALISE MING NA WEN MADE A CAMEO UNTIL I CAME ON HERE...so that was nice..

still pissed they didn’t even put the drum beats for “I’ll Make a Man Outta You”...they were using drums during the training sequence too so would’ve been real easy to do so AND THEY DIDN’T...they did it for “Bring Honor to Us All” and “Reflection”...idk why they couldn’t even give us that much of my favourite Disney song...

again, cannot emphasise enough how gorgeous this whole movie looked...and there were so many fun camera work moments... the visuals had me dead on the floor ya’ll...

idk what else i have to say now...

tl;dr I enjoyed the experience of watching it, but hooooo boi the film is flawed as hell...

[writersrealmbts]

Bulletproof Melody: Part 1

Description: Superhero!BTS: What happens when circumstances force you to team up with the infamous Bulletproof Boyscouts? Will you be able to beat the villain threatening all of you and your town? Or will you watch everything burn?

Prologue: Meet the Heroes

Warnings: Violence

Posted: 9/09/2018

Tags: SuperheroAU, Superhero!BTS, superpowered!BTS

Angst with little fluffs: 3,966 words

A/N: So, hopefully I’ve written it clearly enough that you guys know who is who, if not, there’s always the guide, so check that out. I haven’t gotten far enough into the story to actually decide who the love interest is, though it might come across as one more than another. The first few parts are mostly going to be exploring the powers and building up the relationship to the boys I promise there will be more action later.

You rolled out of the way of your opponent’s kick, and grabbed the pipe, turning and swinging it at her knees before getting back to your feet. You swung again and caught her head.

She crumpled to the ground.

You dropped the pipe and leaned against one of the columns. “It is five in the damn morning on a Monday. I haven’t even had coffee yet and someone decides to try and steal from a bank. Most people do this in the middle of the night, but no, you wake me up before dawn. I hope you have a splitting headache when you wake up,” You told your unconscious enemy.

“That’s not very kind,” a teasing voice said from behind you.

You turned to look at your eternal thorn in the side. “This is my territory, why do you always show up?”

“Had to make sure you won,” He teased, dropping to the ground beside you.

“Really?” You folded your arms.

He flashed a winning smile. “Come on, Nightingale, admit it: if I didn’t come around you would totally get lonely.”

You hated that he was right. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jera. I mean, just the name is enough to annoy me.”

“I didn’t come up with it.” He flicked his wrist and there was a squeak of protest from your enemy as she was tied up with vines.

You sighed. “Yeah, yeah. Each of your members has the name of a Nordic rune because the journalist that first wrote about you guys not only called you the bulletproof boy-scouts—“

“Annoying name.”

“But also decided that he would name Eihwaz and Laguz after Nordic runes. Then the rest of you just accepted it and helped each other choose names. You opted out and ended up as Jera—after vehemently protesting Berkano at my insistence.”

“You still haven’t told me what it means,” he said, stepping close, obviously flirting.

“You could just look it up?”

“Now where would the fun be in that, petunia?” He tucked a flower in your hair. He was dangerously close, his powers radiating off of him, and sensed by you with your own power.

You smirked up at him. “You wish for a connection. If I tell you, you won’t have a reason to keep talking to me except for these useless check ups to see if I won or lost.”

He rolled his eyes. “You always make things harder. Don’t tell me.”

“I will. I’ll tell you when I’m dying.”

He grew serious as he realized you were. He swallowed and nodded. “So when we’re old.”

“Old is relative.”

“Hey,” he said, sounding worried. “Don’t…Don’t get yourself killed doing something stupid.”

You opened your mouth to reply, then snapped it shut as you sensed a fire super nearby. You pulled out some of your cached energy, handing one of the crystal pieces to Jera. “Fire, over there.”

He crushed the energy piece in his hand with a nod, preparing himself for whoever it was.

You picked the pipe up again.

“Nightingale and Jera? Lovers in the night? Or secret villains, colluding against the team he’s in?” A man’s voice rumbled in the darkness as his eyes began to glow like embers.

“Neither,” Jera answered, already in a fighting stance.

“You have something that belongs to me, Nightingale. I will have it back.”

“Her?” You guessed, pointing the pipe at the girl who looked up at you like you were crazy. You shrugged at her.

“Why should I care about some low-level thief? No, I speak of a scroll. A scroll that will solve all of my problems.” His eyes went from orange to blue in an instant.

Jera glanced at you, curious and uneasy. His powers weren’t strong against fire. He would get hurt if he fought for you.

You tried to think of what it could be. You had collected a few scrolls that supers had imbued their powers into upon retirement or as they died. It was like a sort of legacy. Because your caches existed on dimensional planes that only you or your ancestors could access, you stored a lot of dangerous weapons and artifacts for people.

“You try my patience!”

“My family has been collecting scrolls for centuries, you’ll have to be a little more specific!” You snapped, pointing the pipe at him in annoyance.

“The scroll of delight.”

You frowned. “Yeah, no, I’d have to check the records.”

A fireball caught Jera straight in the chest.

He screamed in pain, dropping to the ground as you shrieked in surprise.

“You have one week to get me that scroll! Or else I will burn this city to the ground!” The super roared, then erupted in a pillar of flames.

You dropped to Jera’s side. “Hold still for just a moment…I’ll…I know a song for this…” you squeezed your eyes shut, then slowly started humming. You felt the right sort of energy flow through you and you started sing the words of a healing song, gently touching where he got burned.

He grew still, his breathing calming down as the pain lessened. “Thanks, Tinny.”

You finished the song and surveyed your work. Now it just appeared he’d been in the sun for too long. You let out a shaky sigh of relief. “I’m sorry, if I hadn’t gotten snarky with him—“

“You still couldn’t have given the scroll to him. He’s clearly hostile,” he cut you off, sitting up gingerly. Then he fixed his gaze on you. “You’re going to need help.”

You looked away for a moment. “I am.”

He got up and helped you up. “We’ll leave her for the police to find when they finally show up. Let’s go talk to the other boys.”

You nodded.

Jera caught you by your waist and pulled you against his body. “Hold on tight.”

You grabbed on quickly, then the two of you were being tossed into the air by a tree.

There was a flash of light and then you were in their lair.

Both of you dropped to the ground groaning.

“Hyung!” Jera protested, rubbing his eyes.

“It was the fastest way to get you here.” Sowilo was glaring at you until he recognized you from your few encounters. “Nightingale?”

“Did you just turn me into particles of light?”

“Yeah.”

“So that’s how you stay so skinny,” you muttered.

He laughed, his tired appearance melting. “I can’t keep it as particles of light.”

“Oh well, it was just a guess anyway.”

“He forgets to eat,” Jera told you, clapping his teammate on the shoulder. “Too busy napping.”

You giggled as Sowilo protested his brother’s honesty loudly, groaning about him being loud.

“Nightingale?”

You turned toward Laguz and smiled. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?” He asked, curious but cautious. Then he saw Jera. “What happened to you?!”

“Fire super. We’ll explain once the team is together. It doesn’t hurt that much. I’m just going to put on a different shirt. Take her to the meeting room?” Jera placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, knowing that you weren’t around this many people often.

Laguz nodded. “Alright. Wilo, lead on.”

“Hyung, no jokes. We don’t want to scare her,” Jera added, then passed through a different door.

Laguz looked a little miffed.

“Jokes?”

“Don’t ask, they’re terrible.” Sowilo put himself between you and Laguz. “I told the others that we have a visitor. They should be decent.”

“I sincerely hope you just mean that they weren’t disguised,” you muttered, uncomfortable with the two men that you barely knew. You were examining your surroundings cautiously, trying to calm your nerves.

Raidho appeared in front of you (technically transported) and grinned. “Nightingale!”

You gave a nervous smile. “Raidho.”

“You’re actually here! Wow! Jera has told us a lot about you!” He grabbed your hand and shook it. His voice was deeper than you had imagined, and he seemed surprisingly goofy and energetic compared to when he was working. Out there he was methodical and exact. Sure, he would smile and such, but he always seemed focused. Intense.

“Raid, calm down. You’ll scare her. She’s a loner, this is a little new for her,” Laguz said in a voice that said scolding but with a look like you would give a beloved pet who was being adorable.

Raidho pouted slightly, looking at you. “You’re not scared of me, are you?”

You kind of were, but more because you had seen him fight and he was a stranger than because you actually thought he was scary.

He looked so hurt when you didn’t answer. “You are?” His already big eyes widened. “Why would you be afraid of me?”

“I’m not…per se. I get around. I’ve seen you fight. And you’re standing really close to me right now.”

Sowilo pulled Raidho back. “Sorry about him.”

“Ah, don’t be afraid of me!” He looked like he was about to beg.

You looked at Laguz for help.

He clapped a hand on Raidho’s shoulder. “Relax, she just doesn’t know you yet and she’s a little shy. Right?”

“I would have said cautious,” you replied.

“Nah, you’re shy.” Sowilo turned to keep walking. “Nothing wrong with that. It’s a good defense mechanism given the secrecy that we all need to operate with.”

“So, what happened? I doubt you’re the one who did that to Jera.” Laguz kept moving forward beside you, making sure Raidho kept moving as well.

“Jera will explain,” you said, a little nervously since you didn’t know if he actually would.

Raidho bounced. “Are we teaming up? That’d be so cool!”

You shrugged slightly, sensing the powers of Tiwaz and Mannaz ahead.

Tiwaz was the leader of the group, though he often said he shouldn’t be. He had super speed, could sense danger before it came about, and if he gave someone a penny they would be completely honest for about ten minutes. He could get two minutes of honesty without the penny, last you heard. He was also somewhat clumsy because of his speed. Still, he was considered one of the most powerful supers in the country and was highly respected in the hero community.

Mannaz had animal related powers, able to communicate with and transform into animals. He also had a sort of animalistic empathy, like how a dog could sense emotions of humans.

The only person in their group that you couldn’t sense was Eihwaz, the youngest member of their group, who had the powers of super strength and force fields. He was probably out of range of what you could sense though.

Sowilo grunted. “I’m gonna need a nap after this. You’ll have to keep me awake.”

“Why?” Laguz asked.

Sowilo didn’t answer, almost going invisible as there was a flash of light before Eihwaz appeared in the hallway with all of you.

Raidho caught Sowilo as the latter stumbled. “I could have done it Hyung,” he murmured, sounding both apologetic and pouty.

Eihwaz was staring at you with wide eyes. “You’re…”

“Nightingale.”

He nodded. “Uh, nice to meet you.”

“Likewise, Eihwaz.” You hummed a certain way, hitting the notes to open your cache of energy, pulling one out and handing it to Sowilo. “This is only an hours worth of energy, but it should get you through the meeting.”

He looked at the crystal in his hand, then at you with confusion.

“Crush it in your hand.”

He did, then flinched and his eyes became huge. His mouth dropped open slightly. “So that’s what Jera meant when he said you can store anything.”

You hummed slightly, sending the dust to a different cache, and nodded. “Anything but others powers. And emotions. Well, I can store some emotions, but the emotion has to be strong and I have to store it with some sort of substance that matches the emotion. Sadness and those similar are stored using collected tears, anger with blood, happiness with lemonade.”

“Lemonade?”

“Blood?!” Laguz gave you a concerned look.

“Hey, it was in the vial when I inherited that vault from my parents. Besides, anger isn’t something that should be stored. The only reason I still have it is because there are certain weapons that require a little bit of anger to keep them in check. As well as a protection scroll that requires essence of anger to activate it. Almost forgot about that. I should put that somewhere easier to reach,” you muttered, pulling out your notebook and writing a note to yourself about doing that.

“Why is happiness lemonade?” Raidho asked, curiousity in his large eyes.

“Well, in the days of my great-great-great-grandparents it was wine. But there were a few too many of my relatives enjoying the happy juice so my great-great-grandmother changed it to lemonade and it’s been that way ever since.” You looked away, getting nervous the closer you got to where Tiwaz and Mannaz were. Both were intimidating, somehow even more so than Sowilo, even though he was solemn most often and Tiwaz had a tendency toward klutziness.

Mannaz was just intense and fought too well for you to ever hope to go against him. Frankly, he scared you even more than Raidho. When Jera had heard it he had laughed. A lot.

“What happened to the dust from the crystal?” Sowilo asked, looking at his hand.

“It’s sleep dust now, I stored it with the rest.”

“That’s so cool!” Raidho grinned.

Eihwaz kept well ahead of the rest of us, not saying anything, but looking curious despite his nervousness.

You understood the feeling.

Laguz stepped through the double doors first, bringing up a bridge from under the water that lined the new, circular room. Plants grew on many of the walls, and were in pots here and there about the room. A fountain, like a waterfall, flowed down the one planter wall and into the water around the room. There was a miniature Tesla coil off to one side, near a computer setup that was impressive. A set of weights that looked impossible to use were sitting on the opposite side of the room. The light seemed natural, yet there were no windows, and prisms were scattered about the room creating rainbows in random spots. Also scattered throughout the room were cushions, mats, and dog or cat beds tucked into corners and niches.

And in the very center, surrounded by the chaos created by all seven members, was an oval table with seven chairs at it. A clear glass ball sat in the center, no doubt to help Sowilo project images better.

Tiwaz was studying papers on the table and looking perplexed.

Mannaz shifted out of being a calico cat and into a human just a few feet away. “They’re here.”

Tiwaz looked up and his expression softened, looked happy. “Nightingale, it’s an honor to have you here.”

“Honor to be here, though circumstances could be better.”

He nodded. “Right. I think we’re just waiting for—“

“Everyone to sit down,” Jera interrupted with a chuckle. He had changed into casual clothes and damn it looked good.

Not that any of these boys knew how to look bad.

You nervously crossed the bridge and approached the meeting table, following the boys.

Jera moved to your side, giving you a reassuring smile. “I’ll do the talking.”

Relief flooded you. “Thanks.”

“Sorry I ran off. They treat you okay?”

“I think I broke Raidho’s heart.”

He looked concerned and surprised. “How?”

“I couldn’t say I wasn’t scared of him.” You kept your voice at a whisper, conscious of the other ears in the room.

He laughed. “He’ll get over it.” He gently led you to a chair opposite Tiwaz and pulled it out for you.

You sat, unable to meet the gazes around you. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until you sat down. That fight had taken it out of you and with the temporary energy starting to wear off as your nervousness and unease ate away at you, you were feeling the exhaustion from your early morning activities.

“I went to see how Nightingale made out with her fight after finishing helping Mannaz and Laguz at the—“

The computer beeped loudly enough to cut Jera off.

Tiwaz was at it in a millisecond. “Robbery at a…toy store? A man, alone.”

“Is it a Gerald’s?” You asked, sitting up straighter.

He looked back at you with some surprise. “Yeah…”

“He’s one of mine. Gerald’s uses child labor to make their toys, and is putting good toy companies and stores out of business in ways slightly less than legal.” You leaned back in your seat. “I decided I couldn’t be everywhere at once.”

“What does he do with what he steals?” Tiwaz asked, frowning.

You smirked. “He donates them to orphanages, schools, libraries, and day cares. In that order.”

Sowilo smiled. “I think we can let this one slip, Tiwaz.”

Tiwaz nodded and walked back to the table, sitting back down. “You were saying, Jera?”

“A fire super confronted us. Mostly her. He wanted a scroll, said she had it. Called it a scroll of…delight?”

You nodded, still unsure what it could be.

“He said that if we didn’t get him the scroll within a week…he’d burn the city down.” Jera touched his chest gingerly, even though you had managed to heal him mostly. “We can’t give him the scroll, so we only have a week to stop him.”

“Do we know where the scroll is?”

“I don’t even know what it is. I have to check the records, and that…that alone could take a whole day. Maybe two.” Your father hadn’t been the most organized vault-keeper, and had spent most of his life collecting the things that shouldn’t be available to just anyone. Which left you with a mess. Not to mention the records dated back centuries. To your eight-times-great-grandfather, who had compiled and translated the previous records into one book.

There were now twenty-four books and none had been updated. It was your project when you had spare time. Which was any time you weren’t fighting, really. Your family's long history had you set for life, so you didn't really need to work a job. Instead you did consulting on specific artifacts and pieces of art, and were decently well-known for collecting pieces by specific artisans. Not to mention you basically acted as a secure deposit box for other supers and sometimes they ‘rented’ the space they used.

“Tinny needs protection, and help taking this guy down. He’s dangerous.”

You nodded. You usually dealt with low level stuff and you knew your limitations. Your powers weren’t fighting powers. You had learned how to fight on your own, teaching yourself in your spare time. You never wanted to be defenseless. Not again. You didn't like hearing that you needed protection, even though you knew it was true. You were someone who handled thieves and sometimes helped in hostage situations.

The boys handled the bigger threats in the area because they were fighters. Good fighters.

“Okay, so what did he look like?” Sowilo asked.

You shook your head. “We could only see his eyes. And when he burst into a pillar of flames after hurting Jera.”

“He had flaming eyes: orange and then blue. Changed with his mood.”

Laguz sucked in a breath. “That means he’s at the very least a level six threat.”

The boys looked at each other in alarm, but apparently weren’t about to argue with the water-super’s assessment.

“Hyung…” Tiwaz looked at Laguz with uncertainty and worry.

“Did you two come straight here?” Laguz asked, color draining from his face.

Tiwaz suddenly stood up. “We have guests.”

Laguz turned and brought the water surrounding the platform up into a protective bubble around the table and computer, with the bridge leading there as Tiwaz and Sowilo quickly wiped the computers after getting the information they needed from it.

Orange light shone through the protective water barrier on all sides, from all nine entrances.

Laguz was starting to struggle, visibly shaking.

You got up, unsure how to help.

“Eihwaz! Force field! Now!” Tiwaz shouted.

Eihwaz looked panicked, trying desperately to form a force-field.

The fire started eating through the water, causing Laguz to yell in pain.

Eihwaz finally got a force field up, but it was inside the water one, not nearly as large, and almost had Sowilo outside of it.

At that second, Laguz’s yell reached a new volume as the fire deteriorated the last of the water and he collapsed, eyes rolling back.

You caught him, despite his size and weight, staggering slightly.

“Laguz!” Mannaz cried, then turned to Raidho. “You need to get us out of here.”

Raidho nodded, closing his eyes to build up the power.

Eihwaz was barely holding the force field up, and it was getting unbearably hot.

Raidho grabbed Mannaz and Tiwaz.

Jera connected everyone with vines.

Then Raidho jerked everyone backwards.

The world flipped on its head, and then you were landing in a field.

You thought you would be sick, but you focused on Laguz. His pulse was thready and weak. He looked severely dehydrated, and burnt.

“Laguz?” Tiwaz stumbled free of the vines as they let go of everyone and dropped next to the two of you. He gently touched his brother’s face then looked at you. “Can you do anything for him? I know…”

You chewed you lip. “M-maybe songs about water? Hang on, let me get a water bottle out.” You closed your eyes and managed to shakily hum the right combination to get a water bottle. Normally you didn’t have to do it for water, but your nerves were shot, as was your energy.

“Please try the water songs,” Tiwaz asked gently.

“We need to move somewhere safer first,” Jera called.

Mannaz helped Sowilo up. “We’re not out of trouble yet.”

Eihwaz picked up the passed out form of Raidho.

You breathed shakily. “We’ll have to go to the safe house. But I won’t be able to help Laguz right away if we do, though.”

They all looked at each other with concern.

Jera came over and checked Laguz again. The water had helped a little, but it had to be given in small sips. He needed an IV.

“Does it have medical supplies?” Tiwaz asked.

You nodded. “I updated it two years ago to have a med-bay.”

Jera carefully took Laguz from you. “I guess we need to be put in storage then.”

You closed your eyes and started singing, opening the door to the safe house. You barely got the door to appear.

The boys did the rest though, getting Laguz and Raidho through, and then someone carried you through as well.

The door snapped shut behind you as the song died in your throat.

You were set down, but your legs were shaky and you fell back against him. You let out a sob, getting emotional with the absence of the threat and the exhaustion of everything you’d done.

“Shhh, it’s okay. We’re okay now,” a sweet voice said, gently caressing your hair. “You did well. You just need rest.”

“There’s a bed in this room.” You recognized Sowilo’s voice.

You opened your eyes and managed to clap and turn the lights on.

Mannaz kept gently petting your hair. “You need to sleep,” he said gently, hand supporting you when you flinched back in surprise.

You nodded, turning toward where Sowilo was standing. You were too tired though. Too drained.

Jera came back in and gently picked you up. “Laguz is in the med bay. Mannaz, go check on Raidho. Tiwaz is talking to Eihwaz.” He carried you to the room—which was actually your room—and set you on the bed. “This is my fault. I should have known better than to go straight to the base.”

“We turned into light,” You sniffled. “That’s hard to track.”

He stared at you.

“She’s right,” Sowilo murmured.

Jera covered you up briskly. “We’ll talk more after you’ve rested. I don’t suppose you’ve ever bottled good dreams?”

You shook your head. “Those are difficult to bottle. And good dreams from the past can be scary in the present.”

He gave you a smile. “Is that so?”

You nodded, then you gasped and grabbed his arm. “There are pictures.”

He became solemn. “You trust me to put them away?”

You hesitated, then nodded. “Please.”

“I’ll get all of them,” He promised, then lightly kissed your forehead. “Now rest.”

You nodded and let your eyes close.

Masterlist. ~ Prologue: Meet the Heroes. ~ Part 2.

[psianabel]

KH3 thoughts under the cut. Spoilers for everything. Kinda got long, lol.

I’m used to make up happy stories about my favorite characters, think about them in happy situations, make up happy ending AUs. The more I proceeded in this game, the more I just ... recieved. Happy things. Over and over and over and my tears didn’t stop. 

This ending is e x a c t l y what i wished for in my life. Minus Sora but lets leave him out here They are all here. They got their hugs. All of them. Heck, even the wayfinder trio got to hug Eraqus, I’m goddamn living. I didn’t know I needed Riku, Roxas, and Terra racing on Destiny Island (and Terra being the slowest because he is, lmao). Isa getting welcomed into the friendship group y e s ... And Lea, Isa, Ven playing with Lea’s frisbee. And eating ice cream on the clock tower with the Twillight Town crew. Namine and Xion looking for seashells together. Ven’s Chirithy coming back to him????? ALL OF THEM OUT OF THEIR COATS AND HAVING ACTUAL CLOTHES. Holy goddamn this, this is what my heart was longing for.

khux not important my ass. I’m so glad the Age of Fairy Tales is one of my fave story arcs, I was screaming at that epilogue and it is very high up in my list of fave scenes of that game (only because i want that Foreteller content. AVA MY GIRL WHERE ARE YOU). Also that Luxu reveal? Wasn’t surprised but damn I’m so in for that ride.  Speaking of khux, all these hints, my h e a r t. Ven dreaming of the Foretellers, Ephemera being there for Sora (which makes me wonder about Sora’s involvement of the story there but lets see about that), the 300 keykids!!! I even recognized some names, that was so fucking cool. (I died there because I was so busy looking at the names....) And I guess we have to expect Demyx and Luxord in khux soon huh.  Sort of khux related, but thank the lord for giving me that Marluxia and Larxene fight together. Since Elrena’s reveal and knowing she knew Lauriam even back then, I wished for this so so much. And their interactions in battle, blessed. Perfect. Good. These two, I swear.

Insert something about the Secret Reports here. Love this cryptic stuff. Luxu you sly fox, my theory is he is gonna pass No Name onto Blaine, I also believe the girl there is Skuld, which would also be the girl Lea and Isa searched for, huh ... this is gonna get so wild. Even wilder with Blaine being Eraqus’ ancestor. God these reports are gving me so much im in love. Aqua. My girl, my love. My heart hurt so much at the Anti Aqua fight, but the whole setup was just perfect. (Not gonna lie, the name Aquanort is still close to my heart. And I probably continue calling her that, lmao.) I cried so fucking much when they were at the Destiny Islands then, hugging her. LIKE, YES, PLEASE SHE IS FREE. And fricking Land of Departure. The fight. THE F I G H T. I WAS READY FOR THIS god yes, playing her for one last time, wonderful, just wonderful. The whole scene there, Ventus waking up, Vanitas calling him brother, I wouldn’t have wanted it in any other way.  “Good morning, Ven.” KSDJFHDSF??? Y E S 

Something about Eraqus and Xehanort. Old husbands really cannot live without each other, and it showed. Together forever now huh. Please Eraqus, make sure he will never do something stupid again.

Uhhhh since this is a videogame I think I have to say something about the gameplay. I love it. The fighting feels so good, with all the triangle commands it makes things interesting. Sora’s mobility is great - the shotlock, the wall climbing, and he finally gets the double jump wooh. Lots to farm, but hey it’s KH, it’s okay.  I wish Donald and Goofy would shut up about ingredients lmao. ... fuck Gummiship tho, but this kind of stuff isnt my thing anyways, but I’ll manage, oh well lol.

RIGHT Disney/Pixar is a thing too. Can’t say much about it, since I don’t really care that much about it, but I looove how these character stand up to roast the evil KH characters lmaooo, go Woody and Sully. I was screaming. The did That.

What they also did is that goddamn secret ending, which I’m HMMM about, but hey it’s a Secret Ending and Nomura is really out there for blood. Good for him. All I can say is, well, see you in Shibuya.  Alright. There are still so many things, but. I just have to say.  I love this game. I enjoyed it so so much. I’m so grateful I was able to play it without seeing leaks or spoilers. If someone would have shown me a picture of the ending where they eat ice cream on the clocktower ... i wouldn’t have believed it. The game set it up for me perfectly. 

I treasure these characters. And I’m happy they found their happy ending. This is what I wanted. Thank you for that.

... until the next act opens. Can’t wait to see how Luxu takes the lead now.  Eraqus cheats at chess, part 2.

What have you planned, boy ... 

[slamsams-blog]

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service - #24WeeksofBond

1969 certainly must’ve been a wild time.  For the first time ever, Bond lovers and general movie goers were to go see a Bond movie starring the first “new Bond”.  After 5 movies, Sean Connery simply had enough with the character, the franchise, and the main producer Albert “Cubby” Broccoli.  So how in the world do you step into a role that had been created and branded into the minds of the fans by Sean Connery?  Why even carry on the series without Sean Connery?  I wonder what people thought of the concept of a “new Bond” back then?  Now a days, it’s a right of passage.  We all know that an actor playing Bond has a shelf life, and that they will eventually leave the role only to be replaced by another.  In today’s world, for Bond fans, this moment can be a very exciting thing.  While I LOVE Daniel Craig, I am very anxious to find out who will replace him.  But back in 1969, the thought of a new actor to come in and just carry on the role like nothing happened?  There must have been tons of criticism, skepticism and curiosity.

Enter George Lazenby, the man with the distinction of being the first “new Bond”.  Lazenby was a legit no-name with a care-free, “fly by the seat of your pants” personality.  He was a male model who only got into modeling because someone thought he had the look for it and gave him an opportunity - so he went and did it.  Then the role of Bond came along, and with Lazenby’s natural good looks and cavalier attitude - Lazenby literally just walked into the audition room un-announced and told the directors that they were looking at the man they needed.  Lazenby got the part.  Those actors who had their 2 contrasting 3 minute monologues ready were probably furious.

Back in the day when my brother and my best friend were playing “Goldeneye” on the N64 non-stop, and learning about Bond and all it’s history and the previous actors that came before Brosnan - we had learned that there was a guy who only did one movie.  We didn’t know the man’s name back then, so we always referred to him as “Zachary Dumbhead” when discussing Bond.  As funny of an anecdote that is to me, I must say that Lazenby deserves a little more respect than that.  This was a tough position to be in.

Lazenby may look a bit goofy, and his undercover role of Sir Hilary Bray doesn’t do anything for his overall bravado - but Lazenby plays the role of Bond with a sense of fearlessness and charm, much like how I imagine he was in real life.  

Also, nobody throws a harder punch than Lazenby. Sheesh!  

I simply cannot imagine Connery playing Bond here, especially given how pivotal this Bond movie is to the rest of the series before they hit the reset button with Daniel Craig.  I just don’t think Connery could’ve convinced Bond lovers that he was legitimately in love.  A fresh take on the role would’ve made it easier to buy into the love between Bond and his soon to be wife Contessa Terese di Vincezo (Diana Rigg) or Tracy as she would be known in the film.

I love Lazenby and Rigg’s chemistry, I think these two pull off a believable performance despite their off screen distain for each other.  Yes, it is widely known that Diana Rigg did not care for Lazenby’s childish attitude and over confidence and it created friction while filming.  There is a pretty famous story of Diana Rigg purposely eating food with lots of onion and garlic right before their love scenes so her breath would stink.  If you have time to watch the documentary “Becoming Bond” I suggest you do that - it’s pretty much a doc on Lazenby.

Let’s talk about this plot, this strange, fear of chickens curing plot.  This movie starts out with Bond bailing out who we would come to know as Tracy on a couple of occasions.  Saving her from her trying to drown herself (I think?) and giving her financial help when she blows it at the casino.  We come to find out she is the daughter of the European, generic brand version of Blofeld named Draco (Gabriele Ferzetti).  He brings Bond to his office in forcible fashion and tells him that he’ll give him a million pounds if he marries Tracy.  Bond is like huh?  Bond thinks about the offer because Draco has connections to Blofeld himself, and if he got some info he just might go along with it.

Tracy sniffs this out right away and forces her papa to give Bond the info he desires, so he does.  But here’s the twist, Bond still pursues Tracy...not because she has any other info on Blofeld (which is Bond’s only thing he looks for in a mate) but because he just has an infatuation with her.  So then we see a montage of the typical things two people do while discovering a love for one another...riding horses, sitting by fountains, and what not.  2 minutes of Louie Armstrong later, and boom, they’re officially in love...at least she is.  But now it’s time to work.

Bond follows the lead given to him by Draco and finds where Blofeld is and finds out that Blofeld is bringing a genealogist up to his location to dub him as a count.  Who knows why...Bond meets the man who is supposed to go meet him and quickly learns all there is to know about the subject and comes up with an uncanny impersonation of him.

This is where “OHMSS” really starts getting weird.  We take a break from Bond’s love story with Tracy to go to the Swiss alps where Bond or “Sir Hilary Bray” is to meet Blofeld.  But in doing so, he discovers that he is housing a harem of women to try and cure their allergies by making them eat their allergies for dinner and hypnotizing them every night.  The real plan being that Blofeld is designing a virus to halt all crops from growing and using the girls to distribute the virus.  Of course the ladies love the new man on the block and Bond has a few encounters after-hours.  You sure know how to pick em Tracy!

The odd thing about this is the fact that Blofeld doesn’t recognize Bond right away.  Maybe it’s the Superman effect, where instead of glasses being the difference between Superman and Clark Kent - it’s a Kilt being the difference between James Bond and Sir Hilary Bray - who knows?  Blofeld finds out it’s Bond, not because it’s so obviously Bond, but because he made a tiny slip in the details of the history of his ancestors.  What a Sherlock.

Bond’s discovered, and escapes by ski and some entertainingly bad green screen work and bumps into Tracy again who saves him from the bad guys where they finally escape in a horse barn where they will spend the night.  This is where Bond finally confesses his love for Tracy and asks her to marry him.  I think this scene is beautiful and both actors do a wonderful job.  It’s so simplistic, spontaneous and romantic.  

The bad guys catch up, Tracy gets captured after being swallowed up by an avalanche and Bond goes against M’s wishes and enlists the help of Draco and his henchmen to storm the castle and destroy Blofeld’s headquarters.  This complete with an iconic shot of Bond sliding over the ice on his stomach, gun in hand, and shooting the villains.  Great stuff.  But more horrible green screen work to follow.  Bond catches up to Blofeld during a bob sled chase and hangs him up in the branches.  The objective seems to be complete.

The final scene is where Bond gets married, and as they are driving away, Blofeld and his hench-women Irma Bunt drive by and shoot at Bond, killing Tracy in the process.  Say what you want about Lazenby’s performance, but his final dialogue to the cop about Tracy is heart wrenching.  Lazenby does a fantastic job grieving the loss of his newlywed, and this would be one of the only consistent pieces of Bond’s backstory that we hear throughout the rest of the series.

OHMSS is a good Bond flick, although it is a bit odd with the plot, the unusual casting choice of Telly Savalas as Blofeld, and Lazenby’s random insertion in the role - it is a very important piece of the Bond puzzle and up until Daniel Craig, we don’t see Bond this full of raw emotion ever again.  It also has lots of fun callbacks to the previous five films with the gadgets he pulls out of his desk, the janitor whistling “Goldfinger”, and even Bond saying before the title sequence “This never happened to the other fellow”, which makes Bond theorists believe that James Bond is just the name given to the man who holds the 007 number.  I’m sure it was just there to call out the elephant in the room and break the ice with the skeptical audience.

As important as this film is to the series this is not one of my favorites given a lot of factors that just bother me.  Lazenby does a hell of a job, but he simply just did not care for the real life Bond lifestyle which caused him to break from the role.  Lazenby was told to present himself as Bond where ever he went to keep the mystique alive, but at the premier, Lazenby showed up with long hair and beard and did not please the studio execs.  Lazenby was just too care-free to be a celebrity, but he does admit that he wished he had knocked some sense into himself back then as it could have made him for the rest of his life.  Instead, he is just a blip on the radar and you have to wonder how the next film would’ve have done with Lazenby at the helm.

We will never know.

That’s all for me, hope you enjoyed it tonight!  Let me know your thoughts!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom

I’ve decided it’s really hard to follow a high action film like 007 s in two parts. Started it late last night and fell asleep somewhere in the Swiss alps while watching a group of girls getting hypnotized. Who knows maybe I was drawn in to the relaxation technique. Tonight I resumed so it really lost some luster. This James Bond never really filled the role for me. He was kind of sweaty and goofy. Not the cool calm character he is supposed to be. The chases were fun from the Volkswagen bug to the horse drawn sleigh to the bobsled scene. Not to mention the harrowing ski chases amid avalanches. Wow. And of all the choices this girl was THE ONE for James? I did get a better perspective though after reading your review Sam. You are a very detailed critic. Great evaluation.

Dan Perch

Love the review!! Admittingly It took me a long time to watch OHMSS because lack of interest in George Lazenby. However, when I came around to it I fell in love with the movie! It was So (not so) subtly over the top throughout the whole movie. Lazenby was actually pretty good throughout, and certainly had some cringing lines “call me Hilly”😬 haha! From the sweet 1960’s villain pad, the way he smokes his cigarettes, and how he manages to stunningly excel in all winter sports, Telly as Blofeld is my favorite of all time!! (That bobsled gif had me rolling laughing😂 cinematic gold!) He finds a way to ‘best’ Bond at absolutely everything in this one (strong booking) then right when you think Bond goes over... what an ending! Lazenby delivers that line, and the credits start to roll, Had me speechless! One of my favorite movies from the 1960s Telly was the man!

Jake Benrud

LOL. I forgot all about "Zachary Dumbhead". I honestly have never watched this whole movie. Or at least, I didn't remember it. The plot is strange with the hypnotized girls releasing bioterrorism agents. If I were Blofeld, I would have invested in a helicopter to chase down Bond after he escaped instead of going skiing after him myself. Just a thought. There's a lot I didn't know about George Lazenby until I did some searching on him recently. Apparently he never signed a contract during the whole filming of this movie. Unreal. He also didn't want to play ball with the studio with maintaining the look of "James Bond" outside of work after filming. Interesting guy. Devastating ending to the movie, but we all knew that 007 the playboy couldn't stay married for long.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

You Only Live Twice

[garden-ghoul]

appendix blog part 2

“hahahaha did you think you could get rid of me by pushing smith of wootton major in my path? you fool!”

OF ARAGORN AND ARWEN!

Uhhhhh well it starts out with Arathorn marrying Gilraen, who is too young to be marrying. But like, war is coming, so it’s fine. I’m a prophet trust me. The point is that if they didn’t have Aragorn ASAP Arathorn was going to get killed and the line of kings would die out. Which he did! When Aragorn was two! Gilraen took him to live at Imladris, where they nicknamed him Hope Baby. Because... he is the hope of the Dunedain. It says Elrond loves him like a father, which is cute. But he doesn’t call Aragorn by his actual name (rather than Hope Baby) until the first time he comes home from doing murders, when he is 20.

At this time Aragorn is judged to be An Adult; Elrond gives him the ring of Barahir (I can’t believe they still have that!! that’s really exciting!) and the shards of Narsil. But NOT the Scepter of Amdsndnirsongsd. He’s Not Ready Yet. Wait omg this next part is SO goofy listen

The next day at sunset Aragorn walked alone in the woods, and his heart was high within him; and he sang, for he was full of hope and the world was fair. And suddenly even as he sang he saw a maiden walking on a greensward among the white stems of the birches; and he halted amazed, thinking that he had strayed into a dream, or else that he had received the gift of the Elf-minstrels, who can make the things of which they sing appear before the eyes of those that listen. 

For Aragorn had been singing a part of the Lay of Lúthien which tells of the meeting of Lúthien and Beren in the forest of Neldoreth. And behold! there Lúthien walked before his eyes.

Aragorn is SUCH a baby, I love him. His first thoughts are “am I asleep?” and then “did I just get MAGIC POWERS?” Tolkien is laying it on PRETTY thick with the Luthien and Beren comparison here though. Aragorn shouts “Tinuviel!” and Arwen just, is super super grave about everything. When he asks why he has never met her despite her being Elrond’s daughter she like, dramatically and gravely looks away toward the mountains and says “I dwelt in Lorien” or something.

Aragorn tells his mom, who immediately assumes this means he wants to marry Arwen. “This is a huuuuge aspiration for you,” she says, after he doesn’t mention having any romantic intentions toward her. What she means is, it is a huge aspiration for her. Oh no it’s because she has Mom Prophecy Powers. If Aragorn doesn’t get to marry Arwen the race of the Dunedain will dunedie out. They’re, guys, they’re dunedyin’. Aragorn is exactly as transparent to Elrond, who not only has the gift of prophecy but loves him a lot and is good at reading people. “You can’t marry Arwen until you pass The Trial,” says Elrond, and avoids mentioning what The Trial is. “Also, she won’t even bother with you unless you Come Between Us.” Yeah that’s right if you marry her she will never get to see her father again. Just like, uh, fuckin, everyone else. I am honestly finding the ‘fated’ aspect of this ‘romance’ to be pretty repellent. The only reason Aragorn can’t date someone who it wouldn’t make a bunch of people really sad for him to date.... is because of prophecy.

Aragorn leaves to be a ranger. 

It says that he starts to look kinda shaggy but when he smiles everyone falls in love with him. I’m paraphrasing. Pfff ahaha it also says he was “exploring the hearts of men.” That is DEFINITELY a euphemism for dating a whole ton of people. Aragorn “could not possibly be straight, I knew it” ben Arathorn. Anyway I like to think that having canonically had Haradrim boyfriends made him a lot more kindly disposed toward peace treaties with them than his predecessors the Stewards. Is it appropriate to use ‘haradrim’ here? I always kind of thought it was the plural of some singular word that meant “one person from Harad,” whereas I want an adjective “describing a person from Harad.” Or is the singular the same and I’m just confused because it sounds like a Hebrew plural? I sincerely want an answer to this.

Thirty years after leaving Imladris, Aragorn goes to take a break in Lothlorien. Galadriel greets him at the door and then drags him off to the changing room so he can put on the outfit she used her prophetic powers to design for him. She ships him with Arwen, who--surprise!--is hanging out here again visiting her grandma. When Arwen sees Aragorn for the first time in thirty years, dressed up all fancy and actually grown up, “her choice was made and her doom appointed.” Love at first sssss. Blech. Tepid. Oh I do like this part though:

On the evening of Midsummer Aragorn and Arwen went to the fair hill, Cerin Amroth, and they walked unshod on the undying grass with elanor and niphredil about their feet. And there upon that hill they looked east to the Shadow and west to the Twilight, and they plighted their troth and were glad.

I loooove that they are looking--together!--to their separate dooms and deciding to be joined. I like how going West to the undying lands is ‘twilight,’ a sort of classically bittersweet image. “I’ll stay with you,” she says, “but I am always going to miss my father and all my kin. I want you to know I am giving them up for you.” Doesn’t this remind you of Gogol’s heartwarming Goth Luthien meta where she pointedly learns Westron (or whatever Beren speaks? There’s a name for the language related to her ancestors I think?) because She Lives With Beren Now! No Going Back! I Am Forever Sundered From My Kin! 

Anyway, when Elrond finds out they want to get married he is like “Aragorn look, it ain’t happening until you become the king of Gondor and Arnor.” Gilraen leaves to go back to whatever they have instead of Arnor these days, and soon dies. Then [the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy]. It also says here that the reason, or one of the reasons, Elrond leaves Middle Earth is that after the Three Rings are deactivated he gets really tired. ...ah. There is some causation, not just correlation, between big cheeses of Middle Earth and havers of Rings. Probably he and Galadriel were only able to protect their realms because of the Rings, and that’s why basically all the elves lived in one of those two places. What does Thranduil have in comparison?? How is he keeping his people safe, and that close to Dol Guldur to boot?

Eventually Aragorn Feels The Death Comin On and lies down on his tomb. Adorable... Arwen is like “wait I didn’t think this through, I’m still fucking immortal.” She leaves her son the king and her beloved daughters (no names? c’mon!) and goes to dwell in Lorthlorien, alone. Since Nenya left it’s not even a land of perpetual summer. It’s just. Depressing. She lies down on Cerin Amroth and (hopefully) dies. Hopefully because if she didn’t die then she just... lay there... forever...

[thetygre]

Dark Souls Lore Ramblings #2

Oh, I should not be allowed to go off by myself. This was originally just going to be a part of the greater Dark/Dark Soul/Humanity post. But then I got my teeth into it and it just kept growing and growing and now it’s its own thing. And I guess there’s no sense in making you folks wait any longer if it’s already done. I’ll be along with the Dark Soul post proper in due time, but until then, here’s this.

Manus, the Father of the Abyss

So King Kong here and Oolacile. I think it’s a valid theory to assume that Manus was the Furtive Pygmy, but I’m personally not fond of the idea. I just don’t like the idea of giving up two distinct characters for one. But, it’s still plausible, and it really doesn’t matter much who Manus was before he became Manus. All that’s important about his identity was the he was the man holding the Dark Soul. Although if he wasn’t the Pygmy, that does raise the question of why Manus had the Dark Soul in the first place. Would it have been passed down to him? Does it just jump around when its host dies?

Taking an aside, I dig Manus’ overall design, and I think it’s got some interesting details in it worth noting. First off is the obvious; he’s a big-ass monkey. Covered in fur, bowlegged, has a long tail; he’s a monkey. And that’s kind of an interesting aesthetic choice to make not just because primates aren’t usually fodder for monster design, at least without being goofy, but because it’s part of Manus’ description. Manus is ‘the Primeval Man’, the ancestor of all humanity, and from an evolutionary perspective, that’s what apes and primates are. Manus’ humanity reverted him back to an earlier stage down the evolutionary ladder. Humanity, gone wild, goes into a primitive state. I dunno’, I think it’s just a cool idea, even if it gels more with real world science than Dark Souls’ fantasy logic.

Second off is his giant hand. At this point, we all know Manus’ tragic backstory, or at least one version of it. Oolacile mages dug him up, brought him back to life/woke him up, tortured him, tortured him some more, mind-tortured him, and then threw in a couple of hours of extra torture before calling it a day. Manus, not a fan of this process, used the only thing he had, his good fist, to try and punch his way out his cell like some kind of Alexandre Dumas protagonist. Now, in beast mode, it’s all gnarled and giant.

But look closer at Manus’ hand; you get a great view of it whenever it reaches out to grab you. It’s absolutely covered in teeth (molars, to be exact). And right in the center there is a great big puckering orifice. Manus’ hand isn’t just a hand, it’s a mouth. And just what happens to be the hot ticket item for the Darkwraith covenant? That sweet ass armor. But after that, it’s an evil magic hand that lets you eat humanity and summon raw Darkness. Manus’ hand is the predecessor of the Dark Hand. (Or an imitation of it.)

Let’s reel back some here; the Dark Soul proper and whoever was carrying it. According to Kaathe, the Dark Soul bearer was supposed to lead humanity against the Light and the Lords. Even if Kaathe is just talking out his non-existent asshole, eventually the natural cycle of the universe is supposed to favor an age of humans. There was supposed to be some titanomachy here; just as the Lords overthrew the Dragons, the humans are supposed to overthrow the Lords. But there wasn’t; if anything, it looks like humans started working for the Lords. And at the bottom of the Chasm of the Abyss, right where Manus is, we find a grave.

Let’s all take a moment to celebrate the serendipity of three of the Lord Souls bearers having graves. Nito is in a grave because he’s a giant goth, Gwyn has a grave as a memorial, and Manus has a grave right next to where he was tortured. I mean, the game could not be whacking you in the face with the whole ‘the world is dying’ theme any harder if it tried. Not only are the gods dead, but you can dance on their graves.

But that gets to the real heart of the issue here; Manus was in a grave. A Lord Soul bearer was buried. Why? How? There’s some different routes you can take here. The obvious answer is that this isn’t just a grave, it’s a murder scene; if you believe Kaathe’s narrative, Gwyn put down the humans and the age of the Dark. It’s only natural that that would involve killing the bearer of the Dark Soul and hiding them away. But I don’t wholly buy into into that. When you look around the main grave, you see all these little stones in what are clearly arrangements, like a little mini-Stonehenge. I think that if this is a grave, it was a burial mound, made by the Dark Lord’s people. You can still say that Gwyn killed the Dark Lord, but there’s one final detail that sticks out clear to me.

When asking around Oolacile, Gough and Chester mention that Manus was ‘awakened’. Not resurrected; ‘awakened’, or ‘upturned’. Put simply, I don’t think that Manus was dead when he went into that grave. He deliberately put himself there, and just kind of went to sleep or half-death, a centuries-long coma that he didn’t intend to wake up from. My reasoning’s not exactly solid on this, so bear with me.

First off, while the term ‘god’ in Dark Souls is pretty nebulous, the bearers of Lord Souls are probably the closest thing the universe has to genuine deities. With that, they seem to be apparently immortal. The Witch of Izalith is still kicking, and her Lord Soul went as crazy as Manus’. They can’t die from natural causes; the only way they can go out is through violence. Now that makes it look like it reinforces the whole ‘Gwyn killed Manus’ thing, but then why would he leave the Dark Soul? Especially a guy as hard up for Lord Souls, or as afraid of the Dark, as Gwyn?

And second, frankly, I believe that just straight-up necromancy is beyond the scope of Dark Souls’ magic. Yeah, I know we fight armies of skeletons, and I’ll touch on those guys when I get to Gravelord Nito and Pinwheel, but other than them, the majority of undead we see in Dark Souls are… well, Undead. The mages of Oolacile might have been pretty strong but a.) Oolacile’s specialty appears to have been illusory magic, not necromancy and b.) it took an occult rebellion stealing power directly from a Lord for someone like Pinwheel to get as far as they did, and his work was a dismal failure. Once people are dead in this universe, unless they have the curse, they’re pretty effectively dead. (Time shenanigans notwithstanding.)

Finally, the whole game seems to be built around the notion that the Dark Soul, as an individual item, isn’t that important; it’s not like the other Lord Souls. All is not lost because Manus went crazy and turned the Dark into the Abyss. Any Undead and their fragment of the Dark Soul will do in linking the First Flame. That’s the rug that gets pulled out from under you once you find out Frampt was lying to you. The Furtive Pygmy’s original plan was that the Dark Soul proper could be bolstered by being regrown in fragments. Even if the original Dark Soul was destroyed, there would be another to take its place.

So what all this adds up to is that if Manus was immortal, Oolacile mages couldn’t raise the dead, and the Dark Soul wasn’t actually that important, then killing Manus would serve no purpose, and he wouldn’t be able to be resurrected even if he was killed by the Lords. Ergo, Manus’ grave was not for Manus’ corpse, but for him while he was still alive (or at least Undead). Now, maybe he was bound down there, but I’m drawn to the sleeper theory.

Manus chose to lock himself away; he did, in fact, go gently into that good night. If he was the Furtive Pygmy, then he started out dreaming of revenge and rebellion against the Lords, breeding an army to usher in the Age of Dark, with him as the Dark Lord. But over time, he mellowed with age. Manus came to understand that people, his literal children and grandchildren, aren’t tools just to be used for power. And eventually, he may have even made his own kind of peace with the Lords. Not to get too sentimental, but what Manus came to value was the well being of his fellow humans, of prosperity and love.

Remember, the item that can control Manus is a pendant from when he was still human. What drove him over the edge was the mages of Oolacile destroying that little piece of jewelry. That trinket, that bit of nostalgia, was the personification of Manus’ humanity. So, when Manus saw that his people didn’t need him, whether because the Age of Dark was prospering or because he trusted the Lords, he locked himself away in some deep place, to sweet dreams and a long rest. If I was the accusing type, I might speculate that Kaathe wasn’t particularly pleased with this development. His whole purpose is to bring about the Dark, and now his strongest champion just up and quit. So Kaathe decides that he needs to kickstart things back in the right direction. And you know the rest from there.

Why am I so drawn to this theory? Well first off, it’s the simpler theory; assuming Manus was killed by someone implies a lot of off-screen dickishness from the Lords mixed with a lot of divine incompetence. Too many hypotheticals spoil the broth, so to speak.

But I think more drawn to the tragic optimism of it. That seems more in line with Dark Souls. For however grim the world may be, Dark Souls doesn’t seem particularly misanthropic or critical of human nature. Most of the NPCs you meet in the first game are laid back and even helpful. They only go Hollow when they’re without a purpose. Even the Gwyn and Gwyndolin aren’t total assholes. That’s what makes an effective character, isn’t it? That they have some goodness in them, something that you can see driving their darker nature?

Places like Oolacile and New Londo are as dark as we see it get. Humans praying on each other for power. Oolacile was straight up torturing people for magical experiments. All through it, we’re taught that Humanity is this base, ugly thing that devours and hurts and runs wild. It’s not a pretty picture, but it’s where things are at while the world is crumbling apart. But if the sleeper theory is true, then Humanity isn’t inherently cruel. It has the capacity to be, but that’s balanced by a capacity for love and kindness as well. We go looking for the Dark Soul, building up to some Dark Lord at the height of his strength, and in the end, we find out that he was sleeping, that the real face of the Dark Soul was a memento of happier times. It’s tragic, but it also reaffirms that people can be good, especially if they have something worth living for. And honestly, that just seems more in tune with Dark Souls for me.

[amourete-blog1]

(( i don’t get to interact with as many people as i’d like to but if you’re ever looking to interact with more ancestors: (this got long so i put a cut)

handmaid: @moegidos - a young handmaid, but still a handmaid. wonderful, precious cinnamon roll who deserves so much. easy to relate/talk to even if your character isn’t an ancestor. mun (jubilee) is a sweetheart, 10/10

summoner: @pupapanofficial - he’s a fucking emo punk nerd i have nothing more to say. just kidding, i do: this summoner is currently in the midst of his rebellion. character combines serious events of alternian history with a reckless nerd of a leader with too-big horns. great for laughs and memes, but also holds a lot of potential for srs stuff. mun (jade) is one of the most patient and talented writers i know.

psiioniic/helmsman: @tabescentabasement - will i ever get tired of talking abt this character? sources say no. this helmsman is dead - or at least last time i checked? shrodinger’s helmsman - and yet so full of life it’s unbelievable. he started out stiff and “automated” and has since developed a more personal voice as he’s tried to open up to people. all of the meme-loving ridiculousness of mituna captor, now with more dorkiness and a tragic past. mun (bamf) is so kind and patient it’s absolutely unbelievable. their writing is top-notch. @h3lm5m4n - this one is a sideblog from @bamf-main. this helmsman is currently on HIC’s ship, part of the ship, and communicates with the user as sassily as a computerized troll can - which is to say, very sassily. again, mun (bamf) does a wonderful job at combining humor with serious subject matter.

signless: @roseredmutant - “lil” is just about the furthest thing from the fanon signless you could possibly imagine, but that’s because he was purposefully designed that way. this signless takes a lot of influence from alpha kankri vantas. he retains all his memories of his previous life on beforus and it impacts him in profound ways. he’s the biggest little shit you’ll ever see, but he still has the spark of revolution that is so much a part of the signless as a character. mun (mj) and i have known each other from before i joined the tumblr crowd, they’re sweet as hell, incredibly talented and very relaxing to rp with. @hereticalsym69ls - xanthe is a resurrected signless, long after his execution, who just wants to be left alone, please give this troll a fucking break. his timeline incorporates a lot of biblical influence to match the “troll jesus” story we’re given from canon. he’s a simple carpenter who loves bad fashion and memes. mun (sel) is creative and hilarious, definitely one of the best signless rpers i’ve encountered in all my time rping ancestors.

disciple: @nemaeus - i don’t interact with them personally but i see them quite a lot through mutual... mutuals. this disciple has a lot of fire to her and that’s so nice to see. she’s bold and takes no shit, but has also shown herself to be kind and loving towards people she cares for. @nyanclaw - A lighthearted take on a post-execution Disciple, currently aiding the rebellion efforts of a Summoner. All of Meulin’s horrible puns, Alternyan edition!

dolorosa: @gentleaegis - this dolorosa combines carrie fisher’s online “voice” with a well-intentioned parent that can’t use a computer to save their life, and it’s the most beautiful thing. she will take approximately 0 (no) shit. she lived, died, and has been revived, and puts a very “real” and “tangible” life into the bare-bones story we’re given in canon. mun (jade) is a big nerd. also the mun of pupapanofficial. @genesisaberrance - she is the omni-mom. momni. this dolorosa, currently dead and without her own family, kind of just adopts the people she meets in need of motherly guidance. as would befit a maryam she also 110% capable of kicking your ass 7 ways to sunday and will not hesitate to do so. mun is very kind and fun the times we’ve spoken, i enjoy writing with them when i do!

redglare: @littleredridingglare - i can put a redglare here now! w h o o p! “little red,” as she is affectionately called, is 8′ of Attitude smushed into a 5′ troll. she’s smart, she’s sassy, and she’s completely devoted to justice and “right,” even as she struggles to understand what “right” really is. mun (jj) also runs riddlesinpaint and is absolutely phenomenal, their doodles are quirky and fun and their characters even more so.

mindfang: same as with redglare, but i actually remember a url this time: @8uccaneer - don’t have personal experience with them, but they interact with neato and i’ve seen them in more casual settings (streams, etc) a couple of times, and from just those it’s been pretty easy to pick up light conversation with their character.

darkleer: @crepuxulum - let me tell you about dhanus. let me just... listen. resurrected darkleer, brought to the present and kicked in the shins by life, learns to confront his past (slowly, very slowly) and create a better future. he’s got all the stubbornness of a horse and all the goofiness we find endearing about equius, except he’s genuinely trying to be “Good(tm)”. doesn’t know what memes are. mun (hannah) is so sweet, writes a lot of humor into their character, and their writing is to die for. listen... listen. @indulgentarcher - although far removed from canon, dilwyn is a darkleer. he regrets his past an has tried to move on since then. he’s like your good guy parent figure, trying to look out for all these rambunctious kids, with some memes and jokes in-between. mun (feather) is fun and lighthearted with their characters, we’ve had some great discussion and i love rping with them.

grand highblood: @riddlesinpaint - riddles is fucking great. riddz meshes “villain trying to become better” with “clown” with “vaguely(?) unsettling vibe” in a way that keeps you engaged and on your toes. he posts a lot to the dashboard so he’s very easy to interact with. chill former highblood just wants to have a cool day. mun (jj) is warm, friendly and welcoming, very easy to talk to, very enthusiastic about what they do. @amusedmuralist - a really interesting take on a character we don’t know much at all about. muralist’s ic speech patterns are very unique. haven’t interacted as much as i should, but the mun is a wonderful writer and extremely thoughtful about the world they’ve built around their character.

dualscar: @trolljacksparrow - nadaya stands out here because he is actually a hemoflip dualscar. he’s also fucking awesome. escaped slave runs regular, dangerous, rebellious raids in a timeline out for his head and will stop at fucking nothing. for what? nothing in particular. he just won’t fucking stop. he’s full of energy 25 hours out of the day, super endearing and very fun to rp with. mun (emm) is the fucking best, easy to talk to and fantastic to write with. @caepaecaesurae - a post-game dualscar that has meshed with his beforan self, from what i can tell. big weenie, tries not to pick sides and isn’t always successful. i don’t know if i’d call him morally gray but he’s definitely got something under mostly-benevolent intentions. mun (wirp) has been kind and cordial the few times we’ve spoken, i love rping with them. @seahorsegun - czunah gets an honorable mention here because he’s the biggest nerd. multilingual, smart as hell, doesn’t give half a shit about anything except the people that have forcefully broken down his walls and made him care about them. (effort. ugh.) very much your typical salty old sailor, except now he lives in space. hates his job. hates everything. mun (mj) is also the mun of roseredmutant and i still love them.

hic: @sugary-empress - and the crown jewel: tyfora. sugary is fucking hilarious. she’s bad, don’t get me wrong, but she’s really fucking funny while she does it. trickster!condescension, only wants to be “good” so people leave her the fuck alone, doesn’t actually understand the ramifications of most of her actions because she’s been privileged all her life and listen. listen. i love her. mun (skylar) is the actual nicest ever, knows their character is bad and isn’t afraid to write them bad. i really admire them for that and honestly just... if you can handle her, sugary is such a wonderful character to interact with, an absolute joy made of sugar candy and questionable intentions.