#like. i think he MUST have gone back for her because the implication does feel very much like 'okay well if you don't go home then you will

[thesorcerersshadow]

never over the fact that when merlin couldn’t convince gwen to come back home to camelot, he sent her to ealdor - to his childhood home, to safety, to his mother - instead.

[nyxanarchy]

SOTR SPOILERS

more things I noticed/thought about

-drusilla saying to maysilee that she doesn't know what awaits for her. She really would have gone the Gloss route (or maybe Johanna, but I think she would have had to play their rules if she wanted to save her family) Also. The implications on Merrilee. We know there was the possibility of selling Katniss and Peeta as a package. Do you really think someone who looks just like a victor would have been safe from that fate?

-Plutarch asking "why didn't you?". Listen. Listen. I know Plutarch is trying to do the greater good here. But also. If I catch you Plutarch. Don't let me catch you Plutarch. I know. I know, he is an ally. He tried to be good to Haymitch. But nonetheless.

-Maysilee and Haymitch talking in the katniss bush

-the fact that it takes one hit to Asterid for Burdock to back off. He really loved her. I'm convinced that if Haymitch hit him, he would have kept going to him

-Haymitch developing an addiction because of the fact Asterid keeps bringing him the syrup (it's not her fault tho!! It's just very unfortunate. I think it would have happened anyway, but maybe slower)

-The whole snake and loulou thing. Do you think maybe she was accustomed to snakes because there are a lot of them in the labs? Maybe she was housed with one.

-Loulou screaming "you are killing us, you are killing us!" My god. My shayla. Poor baby, stolen from her parents. She lost everything, even her own name. Can you imagine some relative looking at her without knowing who she is? Maybe someone could recognize something in the way she moves. I also think her parents could have been alive till her death. It feels like it's a worst punishment than death watching your own baby girl transformed in someone else get sent to her death.

-Also confirmation that the seam residents are melungeons. We already knew that, but this is your reminder katniss is not white.

-maysilee and merrilee godbye "and for a moment the donner twins become one, arms locked around eachother's neck, foreheads, noses pressed together. A mirror image that the peacekeepers tear in two." They became one. Oh, Merrilee. How could you ever cope seeing her in your mirror everyday? Thinking about Merrilee seeing herself dying on the tv.

-also "in the girls' pen Maysilee is gripping Asterid hand while a weeping Merrilee embrace her, their three blond heads pressed in a tight knot" I don't know why but the wording is just so touching, maybe because it's such a clear image. A knot. It destroyed me, it still does.

-haymitch coming back home with the coffins. In the first reapings they really didn't care at ALL about the appearances eh

-so now that we know the reapings are rigged a lot (i mean we had our doubts but now it's confirmed), what are we thinking about prim's reaping? Not in the sense that she was reaped to punish katniss or something like that, more in the sense "in the games there must be a percentage of really young children because it makes for a compelling narrative". We know it's a "tv show" for the capitol and i feel like they have to have a diversified cast. Don't know if i'm making sense.

-Lenore Dove screaming in the wind instead of crying in front of the camera "the moment our hearts shattered? It belongs to us" I literally can see her. I literally can see them.

-Maysilee's "I'll be your sister". And Haymitch calling her sis? My god.

-The cistern being empty because Haymitch went to see Lenore Dove. It was inevitable anyway. They would have died either way, they were always gonna kill them.

-Haymitch sweetheart being a little girl he saw as a sister. It was never a mockery for katniss

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch. 5

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

First - Prev - Next

CH.5

“Hey, stretch. You here to play doctor?”

“I’d just like to interview you. I’m not going to touch you if that's what you’re concerned about.”

“Why not?”

“...ANYhow, I have a few questions for you.”

“Yes, I'm single.”

“Not those kinds of questions. Can you tell me your full first name?”

“Can you give me yours first?”

“Fiddleford.”

“Stan.”

“Okay, Stan. Where are you from? And don’t you dare say from my dreams.”

“Well yeah, I’d say ‘from your dreams’, not mine. Other than that, probably some gutters or a ditch somewhere.”

“What do you mean?”

“As far as I remember, I’ve been out on the streets, or in prison. I think I had a car at some point? But I dunno what happened with that, it makes my head burn trying to think about it.”

“Do you have any family?”

“No.”

“Do you remember ever having a family?”

“I don’t remember having one, but I feel like I had one before.”

“What do you feel like happened to them?”

“They probably got tired of my BS and told me to take a hike. It’s how it always goes with me.”

“That’s a theory you’ve put together. I’m asking what you feel like happened.”

“Feel like I had a dad who was waiting for an excuse to get rid of me. I feel like I had a mom who was a liar - I probably got it from her. Maybe a sibling or two? But they don’t want me around.”

“And what do you think about Stanford?”

“You mean the guy who drugged me, kidnapped me, and is keeping me prisoner in his evil basement sub-lab in the middle of the woods? I gotta say, he makes an impression.”

“But does he seem familiar to you?”

“I don’t think I could forget someone like him” 

“Is it because of his six fingers?”

“It’s twelve , and no, that's pretty normal compared to all of his other weird crap. It’s because he’s fucking crazy , and convinced I’m some mystery twin of his. But let’s stop talking about him, and talk about you instead. Are you single? You doing anything later?”

“Stay on track, Stan. Let’s take a step back and go back to talking about you. Have you recently gotten into any accidents or sustained major injuries?”

“Define ‘major’.”

“Beg your pardon?”

“Judging by your friend's reaction to the stab wounds when we met, I don’t think your definition of major injury is the same as mine.”

---

"What did you determine, Fiddleford?"

"It wasn't easy to glean things because he would not stop flirting with me - was he always this way?"

"He was a little girl-crazy when we were younger, I didn't know he liked men. But that doesn’t matter right now, what were your findings?"

"He has full cognitive function. And based on your scans he has no signs of brain damage - comparing images of his brain to yours, his genetically identical twin, there isn't any morphological difference. Based on my interview, it sounds like he's never sustained significant head trauma neither.”

"But..?"

"If he really does have amnesia, it wasn't caused by a head injury."

"What else could it be?"

"A few things - perhaps he took a drug or substance that warped his brain chemistry. Or- more likely in my opinion, based on his lifestyle and what little history he tells me, he might have undergone extreme distress that caused a mental breakdown."

"Mental trauma can cause someone to lose their memories?"

"Our memories can be a shield and a sword, Stanford. Even good memories that can comfort you through a difficult time, can also cause pain and frustration when compared to a bad predicament.

He must have gone through something so traumatic that the only way his mind could cope with the stress was to... forget things. This is a phenomenon known as repression . Most of the time, a person would repress the traumatic event itself, but it looks like he’s defied the statistics and forgotten everything else instead.”

“He can’t be… that traumatized, right? This is Stanley we’re talking about.”

“I don’t know what he was like before, but he’s got a mullet, Stanford. There ain’t no way he's in a good place mentally.”

"And how would repressing memories about our family- about me , possibly help him cope with trauma?"

"If I'm going to be frank with you, this is the first time in the years that I've known you that you even mentioned having a twin brother . You've talked about other family members before, such as your older brother Sherman, but never him.

If his mind had to prioritize which memories to keep, why would it keep memories of someone he isn't close to?"

"We are- well, we were close."

"Were is a strong word, Stanford. Survival focuses on the present, not the past.”

“... What can we do to get his memories back?”

“I’m not a therapist. But perhaps if you can get him out of the survival mindset, he’d be open to some introspection.”

“So we must disable his fight-flight-freeze response…”

“Stanford Pines, I will throw that damn tranquilizer gun down the bottomless pit if you don’t put it down. Ya'll really need to stop using the slippery slope of science without consideration for morality like it's a damn seesaw. There are other ways to get him out of fight-flight.”

“Such as?”

“I would suggest you make him feel like he’s in a safe space, but that might not work.”

“Why not? He’s perfectly safe here.”

“But does he know that? From his perspective, you’re a stranger who shot him with a tranq dart and imprisoned in your basement for scientific exploitation. And I’ll remind you, this is all without his consent. He is here against his will.”

“It’s for his own good.”

“According to you, someone he thinks he doesn’t know. This may be your twin, Stanford, but he doesn’t know that. You need to gain his trust; maybe he would have trusted you by default in the past, but that isn’t the case now.”

“I… I’m not sure how to do that, Fiddleford. At one point, we knew everything about each other. And now I barely know him, and he thinks I’m a stranger. I’m still angry at him, and still bitter about what he did before he left home, and I’m disappointed in the conman and convict he turned into… but I’m sad, because he's convinced he’s not my brother.”

“You ain’t exactly the same person you were even when we first met all them years ago. People change. How about you try talking to him?”

“Just talking to him?”

“This may be difficult for you in particular, but you should try talking to him like he’s a person; and not a science experiment, anomaly, or an equation you’re trying to solve… Hey, hey don’t be looking like the last pea at pea-time now. I believe in you, you got this.”

“Thank you, Fiddleford.”

*Ford goes back downstairs to the lab. Fiddleford waits for him to be out of earshot before speaking*

“Bless his heart. This is going to be a disaster.”

To be continued…

[sporkandpringles]

VOY 3x10 Warlord Thoughts

Voyager does have a bad habit of making important things happen in alternate/illusory ways and then just... not explaining why they stick in reality (I'm thinking specifically of Janeway's haircut in "Year of Hell" and the Tom/B'Elanna wedding that was only actually shown in "Course:Oblivion" when it happened to their Silver Blood copies and not in "Drive" when it happened to their real versions). And I've often heard of Kes' breakup with Neelix in 3x10 "Warlord" mentioned in the same breath. Because she was possessed by an alien when she did it. And therefore it doesn't make sense that it sticks after he's gone. But I actually think the decision to have Kes break up with Neelix when when she was possessed by and evil, tyrannical alien warlord and then have the breakup stick after she comes back into control of her own body is a fascinating choice? Like, maybe before the possession, Kes felt like she couldn't leave. We know from canon (VOY 2x07 "Parturition") that Ocampa mate for life and there's no jealousy, infidelity (or presumably, divorce).

KES: On my homeworld it's so much simpler. You choose a mate for life. There's no distrust, no jealousy, no envy, no betrayal. EMH: Hmm. Your world must have very dry literature.

The EMH called it "boring", but to me that's anything but. That sounds... miserable. 9 years isn't a long time, but if you're stuck with the wrong person, it can feel like an eternity. And then, there's Kes' role on Voyager as the Nice One. Like, yes she's presumably seen breakups on the ship and knows that's something humans do, but she's always smoothing over conflicts and being non-confrontational. So maybe, in addition to all that cultural conditioning from growing up on Ocampa, she felt trapped by "I don't want to make anyone sad and breaking up with Neelix would make him sad." Like maybe she felt uncomfortable and unpleasant and deep down wanted the relationship to end for months or even years. But she was just completely trapped by having to be the Nice One all the time, and by Ocampan culture that she couldn't figure out a way to end it. And then along comes a bloodthirsty warlord to possess her brain. He isn't burdened by her cultural background, or the crippling need to be nice. And this warlord possessing her brain can literally feel all her built up discomfort and resentment and feelings of being trapped and is just like, "no, screw this, I'm ending this ridiculous relationship." Not necessarily because he's altruistic or anything. It's still mostly a selfish move to help him further his quest for power. But then when Kes comes back to herself she's like... "wait... that was an OPTION? I could have broken up with him this whole time?" And so it sticks because really it's something she wanted all along. She just needed someone mean enough with actual boundaries to help her see that it was possible. Like, yeah, I do wish we had gotten a scene were Not Possesed!Kes tells Neelix why she's going to keep them broken up. But even so, the implications of what we do have are fascinating.

[limnsaber]

Mandalorian Slash Fic Rec List - DinLuke Volume II: Short and Sweet & Short and Fun

Welcome to Volume II of Mando slash: Dinluke fic recs! Here is Volume I. For reference, 🔐 means a restricted work and 💜 means an personal favorite. Please show your love and apprecation to our authors!! -Yours, Limn <3

Short and Sweet

staring down the barrel of the hot sun by magneticwave (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Mandalorian Politics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, 25k)

“Gone to a Child of the Watch, the Darksaber has,” Grand Master Yoda announces in his creaky little voice. “Peace, there is not, and yet peace, there must be.”

sit down, breathe, and just listen by @andfollowthesun (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Anakin Skywalker, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Meetings, Gen, 13k)

“Of course we’re married.” Anakin is blinking at the camera guilelessly. “We’ve been married since before the end of the Clone Wars. What are you on about?”

thaw by @andthepeople (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Mandalorian Politics, Mand'alor Din Djarin, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Teen, 6k)

That’s what hope does to you, Luke remembers now. It lingers at the back of your mind, whispering maybe, maybe, so that knowing a plan is stupid isn’t enough to keep you from trying it.

💜 Melt by @smilebackwards (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Mandalorian Politics, Mand'alor Din Djarin, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Rescue Missions, POV Alternating, Teen, 6k)

“You haven’t given him your clan signet,” the Armorer says bluntly when Din visits her. Of course the latest episode in his faltering courtship has reached her ears. “Anyone is free to make an offer until a signet is given and accepted.” “I know,” Din says.

Cannonball by @thrvrnd (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Mature, 18k)

Grogu continues to call Luke for help once he's back with the Mandalorian. Luke always answers.

🔐 turn the page together (when you're ready) by @dee-lirious (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Canon Compliant, POV Luke Skywalker, Gen, 18k)

The Mandalorian—technically Mand’alor, although the one time Luke had called him that to his face he’d grunted in displeasure and made a gesture as if physically swatting the title aside—he visits the temple, sometimes.

give in, eyes closed by strawberry_champagne (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Established Relationship, Character Study, Gray-Asexuality, Teen, 2k)

When Din decided that this was something that he could have, even the most innocent touch was like torrential rain on a sun-scorched planet. He feels like he might drown in it when they’re pressed together like this, counts the points of contact, mouth. chest. knees. hands. wrists. This isn’t something he wants from just anyone. Luke isn’t just anyone, not by a parsec. Luke Skywalker and Din Djarin share a quiet moment while chasing rumors of Force-sensitives across the galaxy.

Oath by rinwins (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Found Family, Marriage Proposal, Keldabe Kiss, Gen, 3k)

“I want to ask you something,” Din says, after they’ve settled Grogu down for the night. That’s his serious voice. Probably not many people can tell the difference, actually, but Luke can. “Okay,” he says, “go ahead.” ... “Would you consider,” says Din, “joining my clan?” - Which contains two proposals, mild liberties with both Mandalorian and Jedi customs, sociopolitical and religious implications But In Space, Force visions, too much studying, a little sparring, a bit of snark, and a Lot of fluff.

Right Where We Need to Be by pixie_rings (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Mature, 4k)

Din Djarin is welcomed to Ossus, despite his first thoughts. And if he finds himself thinking a bit too much about Luke, well... it's just because he's his friend. Right?

🔐 Boundaries by kushana (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Asexual Relationship, Boundaries, Fluff and Humor, Teen, 2k)

Din suddenly feels cold under his armour and his throat constricts. He’s never touched Luke like that, carefree, and there are such things as boundaries. 'Din. It’s okay.' Or: Din touches Luke's nose, then freaks out. Luke sets things straight.

The Three by skywalkers (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Force Visions (Star Wars, Nightmares, Teen, 3k)

“I’ve followed my path, I’ve tried to do what I thought was right, but what if it’s only leading to the same place?” Luke seethes a breath through a wave of nausea when he recalls the dream. “Something is coming, and I…I can’t risk the Temple, our people, you, Grogu. Something is coming and I don’t know what.” “Something is coming, Din. And I’m...” He hesitates. “I’m afraid.” - A nightmare wakes both Luke and Din in the middle of the night.

🔐 I'll take you at your word by @darkisrising (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Fluff, Accidental Marriage, Gen, 1k)

But by far the most attractive thing about Luke isn’t his face, which is beautiful, or his physique, which is impressive, or his voice, which could drive a celibate to distraction. No it’s how eager Luke is not just to teach, but also to learn.

let me walk to the top of the big night sky by @4hoots (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Mand'alor Din Djarin, Planet Mandalore, Gen, 3k)

“Then what are you asking?” The hand on Luke’s arm flexed, and Din stepped even closer, putting them nearly toe-to-toe. “I’m asking you... to share your time with me. Whatever time you’ll give.”

💜 as it was by @ineffablestardust (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Luke and his lost hand, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Teen, 1k)

the ghosts that we learn to deal with, the nature of being human, forgiving oneself and looking to the future and dinluke softies

Short and Fun

listen, there's a hell of a universe next door by storm_petrel (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Ensemble Cast, Rescue Missions, BAMF Luke Skywalker, BAMF Din Djarin, Action/Adventure, Mature, 13k)

As it turns out, no one ever taught Luke how to tie a little green baby to his back one-handed, but Luke thinks he's pretty gods-damned good at problem-solving under pressure, thank you, and the baby is at least semi-cooperative. When he's sure the kid is strapped in as tight as he can get, Luke pauses, and reaches back. His fingers graze the wide point of the baby's fuzzy ear. "Well, kid," says Luke, and his voice is a little rough, but not bad, all things considered. "Carrying you on my back while getting the absolute banthashit kicked out of me, at least this feels familiar." The baby coos in his ear, and then kicks him hard in the kidney. Yoda used to do the exact same thing. Somehow, it's a lot more endearing now. Or: Luke Skywalker solves a number of life-or-death problems, makes some new friends, falls abruptly in love, and gets shot into space, all in the same day.

say it as you will by @chocmarss (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Ensemble Cast, Ahsoka Tano, Grogu, Captain Rex, Force Ghosts, Teen, 4k)

“It’s like I’m watching a carbon copy of Skywalker Sr. sneaking around with the Senator and thinking none of us could see how he’s shit at hiding it.” From her other side, the blue outline of said Skywalker Sr. frowns in some degree of confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

💜 three rules (back straight, head forward) by queen_rowenas (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, New Republic Politics, Secret Relationship, POV Outsider, Teen, 8k)

Leia is helpless to watch as Senator Almen continues on as though nothing is wrong. “Mand’alor, may I introduce you to Senator Organa’s brother, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker.” She can feel all of her hard work crumbling, whatever trust she had formed with the Mandalorians shattering before her as the Mand’alor slowly stands to his feet. Great, she thinks numbly, Another galactic war on my hands. (Leia Organa has never been one to back down from a challenge. Although advising the new Mand’alor in his introduction to the Senate and also trying to keep her Jedi brother from causing an intergalactic incident could prove to be a bigger challenge than expected.)

perhaps I could learn to love by @ace-dindjarin (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Bo-Katan Kryze, Korkie Kryze, Oblivious Din Djarin, Asexual Din Djarin, Korkie Kryze is a Kenobi, Humor, Misunderstandings, Teen, 9k)

Alt. Title: In Which Din Djarin Assumes Shit Korkie snaps his fingers in front of the Jedi’s wide eyes. “Hello?” “I, uh, sorry. I am the delegate, yes,” the Jedi stammers. “The New Republic delegate. Luke Skywalker.” Solo elbows him in the side. “Great.” Korkie brightens, pulling out a datapad from his belt. “Should we begin?” The Jedi blinks, eyes wide in shock. “Hmm?” “Okay, I’ll take over.” Solo pulls out his own datapad. The two begin to share their information. It’s fifteen minutes into the meeting when Din finally realizes the Jedi’s interested in Korkie Kryze. Romantically. - Din Djarin, the new Mand’alor, interacts with the New Republic delegate sent to consider the Mandalorians for a seat in the Senate. When he realizes the Jedi’s into the charming politician, Korkie Kryze, he’s okay with it. He’s very okay with it. Totally fine. Featuring insecurity, lots of irrational fear, and shenanigans.

The Opposite of All My Mistakes by @vagrantblvrd (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Ensemble Cast, Force Ghosts, Gen, 3k)

Never let it be said that Luke has chosen to eschew the most sacred of Jedi traditions.

Hello Hurricane by @vagrantblvrd (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Mara Jade, Ensemble Cast, Force Ghosts, Gen, 4k)

Luke has a problem. His problem wears armor. Shiny, shiny armor. Also, there’s a cape.

💜 Entanglements by @vagrantblvrd (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Teen, 4.5k)

Jedi don’t panic.

Symphonies by @vagrantblvrd (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Gen, 4k)

“I don’t understand,” Din says, focused on prying a shiny rock out of Grogu’s mouth. “If your sister is a princess, wouldn’t that make you a prince as well?” His logic is sound, Luke gives him that, but as Luke continues to learn the more he and Leia cautiously look into their lineage, it’s not so clear-cut.

💜 unconditional by @meowalker (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Missing Scene, Marriage Proposal, Gen, 8k)

“I’m thinking,” Skywalker greets, face blinking into existence over the N1’s holoprojector. “You get him during the week, then I get the weekends.”

💜 Read All About It! by pixie_rings (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, Grogu, Ensemble Cast, Humor, POV Outsider, Gen, 2.5k)

Kerani Leyn, shiny new reporter for the Hanna City Herald, is about to land the scoop of a lifetime.

(Let's Kiss) While All the Stars Are Falling Down by @stupidfatpenguin (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, One Shot, battle husbands, Not Rated, 900w)

Prompt: have you considered: battle husbands When Din slots in behind Luke on the battlefield, something clicks into place.

take my last breath, too by @stupidfatpenguin (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, One Shot, Sparring, Accidental Proposal, Pining, Gen, 1k)

“You think I’ll last long against your Jedi magic?” (In which Din is distracted and underestimates his opponent.)

Live dangerous by @iamscoby (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, One Shot, Old DinLuke, Planet Ahch-To, Gen, 500w)

It rains a lot on Ahch-To.

🔐 cement and sunshine (ten-cent clementines) by @navigatorwrongway (Din Djarin/Luke Skywalker, The Armorer, Ahsoka Tano, Not Rated, 1.5k)

They’re just kidding themselves, at this point.

[tranakin-skywalker]

Wait you're making a fic for your torgruta au?? Tell me more please

Yeah, I've been thinking about writing a fic about it for a while now. Most likely it's going to be a series of oneshots so I can hop around to different parts of the story I find interesting.

A lot of the ideas are coming from the hyena discord, so I can't claim them as my own. But they are just too good to pass up. Like togruta making infrasound with their montrals and constantly projecting their moods. So when Anakin first gets to the Temple he's constantly screaming for him mom at a pitch that only other togruta can hear.

I've decided that that's actually how he first meets Ahsoka. She hears him making his lost, scared, where's mom, where's family sounds and seeks him out to comfort him. Ahsoka would be about four here, and would have left Shili recently enough that she could still remember what those noises mean, even if Tatooine togruta sound different from Shili togruta. (to a Shili tog Anakin's distressed noises sound like he's being maimed, but that's just because of the generational trauma and general awfulness of being a togruta on Tatooine. What they would think of the vocalizations he makes when actually being maimed we will not think about)

So Anakin and Ahsoka end up growing up together right from the start, and the main reason Anakin is so insistent on being knighted early is so that Ahsoka can be his padawan. It's a private thought he has to himself at first, but as Ahsoka gets older and no masters are showing any interest in taking her on she starts to panic. Anakin tells her that he'll just have to get knighted before she ages out so that he can be her master. And then the Clone War starts and he realizes that keeping his promise means bringing her onto the battlefield with him where she could die and he's not sure if he'll be enough to keep her alive :)

Because Shmi is a togruta too she does not get bought by Cleigg Lars. I am just. not dealing with the implications of that. (Listen. I want to read Shmi's marriage to him as a good thing, but I have a very hard time doing that.)

Now, there's actually a comic (Legands, I think, not Disney canon) where Gardulla goes to Watto and tries to buy Anakin back after he wins the Boonta Eve Classic. So have some fun thoughts about what would have happened to Anakin if he hadn't gone with Qui-Gon.

In the fic, Gardulla goes to buy Anakin but of course he left with the Jedi, so Gardulla decides she'll take Shmi as payment for Watto's debts. After all, if Shmi already had one child who turned out to be a talented podracer, well, she might have more. Hence the younger sibling that comes about shortly after Anakin leaves.

When Anakin goes back to Tatooine because of the nightmares about his mom he finds out that Watto sold his mom back to Gardulla and has to go to her to buy his mom's freedom. Which would be traumatic, on multiple levels. Anakin finds out that a month before he arrived, Shmi tried to escape with the sister Anakin didn't know he had, and Gardulla had their chips detonated. Gardulla even gives him their triggered remotes as proof.

(Of course unbeknownst to Anakin, Shmi and the sister survived and are living with a village of other escaped togruta.)

A lot of canon still happens the same, including Anakin's fall, Order 66, Mustafar, etc. But when Bail Organa sees Ahsoka at Padme's funeral he tells her that he can take her to a mutual friend of theirs. Ahsoka thinks (hopes) it's Anakin at first, and is devastated when she realizes it's Obi-Wan (and then hates herself for feeling disappointment because she should be happy that Obi-Wan is still alive, but he's not Anakin, and this means that Anakin must be dead).

There's no Lars family and the Organas would have a harder time explaining a non-human daughter, so Ahsoka and Obi-Wan end up taking care of the twins. They eventually find their way to Tatooine because it's out of the Empire's notice and, well, because it's a connection to Anakin (Ahsoka's trying to hold onto anything she can that connects her to her brother and Obi-Wan is in his self-harming phase.)

And it's there that they eventually run into a little community of togruta and a woman who looks suspiciously like Anakin who has the last name Skywalker. But hey, Shmi gets to meet her grandkids at least. Even if it happens at the same time that she finds out that son she thought she'd sent away to a better life and hasn't seen in 13 years is dead. (Obi-Wan sees how much Anakin's death destroys Shmi and decides to never, ever tell her what he became. Vader will be his burden and it's a secret he will take to his grave. Anakin Vader is dead, and he'll save them from ever finding out how it really happened)

Of course, 15 years later Ahsoka goes to rescue some rebels from a walking death omen in black when she realizes the infrasound calls he's shrieking out of his mangled montrals is devastatingly familiar.

[themculibrary]

POV Pepper Potts Masterlist

Abductions and Tea Parties (ao3) - NamelesslyNightlock loki/tony T, 5k

Summary: Pepper was fairly certain that the usual kidnapping involved neither cups of tea nor impromptu declarations of love toward her best friend– but then, she probably should have expected that Loki would be anything but usual

Between the Darkness and the Stage (ao3) - marinarusalka pepper/tony T, 14k

Summary: When Tony goes missing and the authorities can't help, Pepper does what she must to rescue him. As it turns out, the rescue was the easy part.

Inevitable (ao3) - imgoingtocrash pepper/tony G, 11k

Summary: When Pepper rounds the corner from the elevators, it's quite a scene.

A swathe of guards are crowded around one particular wall. A few feet away, employees are clustered, whispering and gawking.

The main focus of which is...a girl. A little brown-haired girl curled against the wall. Her eyes are closed, but she’s holding out a hand in defense. A hand plated with red and a glowing sphere encased in her palm.

What is that thing?

Morgan Stark appears in the Stark Industries atrium in the year 2006. Tony and Pepper attempt to get their future daughter back home while dealing with the implications that her existence has for their relationship.

Laugh Lines (ao3) - rebelmeg pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: Pepper has spent years watching the subtle (and sometimes unsubtle) ways Tony's face has changed. This one is probably her favorite.

Making of a Queen (ao3) - onthesandsofdreams pepper/tony T, 2k

Summary: She had known the King – Tony as he insisted she called him – for a long time, but he’d never given any indication as to his feeling for her. So, she did her best to swallow down her disappointment and hurt. She would have to deal with it. She wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her.

And that made Pepper think of the three whole months that had been an unspoken competition to win King Anthony’s hand in marriage. He’d gone and invited all the noble maids of the kingdom, he’d never said for what, but only someone really dumb would not realize why.

Maria Hill's Interview At Stark Industries (ao3) - lita pepper/tony G, 5k

Summary: Tony was very interested in attending the interview of Maria Hill at Stark Industries because he was just being Tony. What mayhem would he cause? Would Maria kill Tony by the end of the day? Would Pepper help?

Metamorphosis (ao3) - art_deco_deity tony/pepper G, 11k

Summary: How Peter Parker changed Tony Stark; seen through the eyes of one Pepper Potts.

Networking (ao3) - supergreak G, 1k

Summary: Pepper Potts, post-The Winter Soldier, getting shit done. (A series of conversations)

not shy of a spark (ao3) - owlvsdove tony/pepper N/R, 1k

Summary: They should not be having this conversation here.

One More (ao3) - reggievass pepper/tony N/R, 1k

Summary: Nobody ever asks Pepper how many people she’s killed. Then again, no one seems to think she’s killed anyone at all.

Pan (ao3) - marlowe78 pepper/tony G, 6k

Summary: ”You know,” she’d finally answered ”I think the fact that I love him is the only reason I can. I wouldn’t be able to ‘handle’ Tony if I didn’t love him. I love him with and sometimes even for his issues, quirks and insane ideas, and if I stopped him doing his superhero-thing, I’d lose him. Maybe not physically, but in all the ways that are important. And if he needs to be out there, I’m damn well making sure he comes back. I couldn’t be as efficient if I didn’t care about him.”

Throughout the years of working for Tony, Pepper has learned a lot about him, the world and a little bit about herself.

Rescue (ao3) - dragonnan G, 2k

Summary: She'd known but hadn't really realized. Being told something was never like experiencing it. And wasn't it just so typical that the first reaction to a body that healed so quickly... that no longer gave into the creaks and twinges of life... was fear.

Teach Me (ao3) - RobinsonsWereHere pepper/tony G, 1k

Summary: Pepper Stark has had enough of mourning. Mourning only makes it more difficult to raise a daughter or head a company or be a superhero, or any combination of the three. Ready to put Tony's last gift to her to good use, she turns to a capable friend for help.

These Boots are Made for Walking (ao3) - TheRedMenace T, 9k

Summary: or; Five Pairs of Pepper Potts' Amazing Footwear. or; Becoming Pepper Potts.

Truce (ao3) - rmc28 N/R, 1k

Summary: How Pepper stopped disliking Natalie Rushman after Tony's disastrous birthday party.

Winging It (ao3) - VR_Trakowski pepper/tony T, 5k

Summary: Pepper deals with the aftermath. Set directly after Iron Man 2.

with resolution and without remorse (ao3) - LadyCrimsonAndBlack T, 4k

Summary: Pepper Potts is a powerful woman. People just don't really know how much.

(Or, the one in which Pepper is Hela and she does not allow her family to get hurt.)

[cycat-carisi]

Commitment

Pairing: Trevor x Nicky (1x06 Pete's Wife)

Summary/A/N: In 2x22 (The Heir) Trevor mentioned that he almost moved in with a woman, but that she wanted him to commit. In 1x06 (Pete's Wife), Trevor gets Sam to look up Nicky, a woman he thought could have been "the one". I said, why not make them the same person and explore the moment that T-Money bailed on his own happiness. You know, because why not sprinkle a little more angst into this fandom :)

Tags/warnings: Cussing

Words: 1094

Additional note: I kinda feel like Trevor's unfinished business has to do with his commitment, accepting that money doesn't define his worth and having someone actually love him in return. So, I kind of want to make this into an H-Money series and weave in cannon moments plus steer these two in the right direction towards each other.

AO3: link (or below the cut!)

“Why so mopey, bro?” exclaims Chet, half-drank beer in his hand.

Trevor’s frown deepens as he plunks himself down on Ari’s expensive sofa.

“Yeah, dude. Who shit in your cornflakes?” chimes David Woodstone, swigging back his own chilled can of alcohol. “Thought you were having Nicky over tonight.”

Ari pipes up next as he saunters towards his friends. “Trouble in paradise, my man?”

Trevor releases a sigh. His voice quiets. “I think it may be over, guys.”

A collective gasp resonates through the lavish apartment.

~

“You taste scrumptious, sweetheart,” Trevor coos between kisses to his girlfriend’s neck. He feels her hum with affection against him.

“Babe,” Nicky begins, her voice tender and sweet. “What are we? I mean, we’ve been on and off for the better part of a year. I love being with you, but this whole arrangement where one of us comes over, we spend time together, and then one of us leaves again just doesn’t feel right anymore. I want us to be more than that. Being with you feels right, Trev.”

Trevor’s stomach drops. His whole body freezes. Is she saying what he thinks she’s saying? He props himself up on an elbow to meet her gaze. “What do you mean, Nicky?”

She must sense his unease because Nicky’s expression drops as she answers. “I mean, I want to have a proper relationship with you. I want to take this,” her fingertips graze his bare chest before pulling back to her own, “to the next level.”

“Like move in together?” Panic begins to set in. Trevor’s voice raises an octave.

“Well, maybe,” she keeps her voice soft, “but maybe more than just that? Maybe we can make our commitment to one another clear.”

Trevor’s brain stalls. Commitment. One simple word yet so many implications. So much weight behind its meaning. He adores Nicky, but does he love her? Does Trevor even know what love feels like? Does she love him? Is that what this is about?

His silence must have gone on for just a little too long. Nicky’s shoulders droop, and a defeated frown creeps its way onto her features. “Never mind,” she sighs, moving to get up.

“Nick, wait!” exclaims Trevor. And the look of hope that lights up her face as she turns around shatters Trevor’s heart. He tries to play it cool like he always does. “You know me, babe! I...I don’t deal well with all this intimate stuff.” Somehow, those are the only words he can think of.

A tear. It appears there in the corner of her eye, but she refuses to let it slip out. Nicky puts a hand up. “Save it, Lefkowitz. I should have known better than to push you towards this. I should know that you’re not that kind of guy.”

It’s like a hot iron rod is being driven through his chest, yet Trevor does nothing as he watches her dress, gather her belongings from the drawer he lets her use, and leaves.

~

Trevor’s head hangs between his shoulders as he leans forward on the sofa. “I royally fucked up.”

“Dude,” David preaches from beside Trevor, “chicks think that they can just tell their men what to do. Take away our autonomy.”

“But I really–” Trevor shifts, reaching into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. “I picked this up on the way here.” It’s then that Trevor reveals the small velvet box.

“Holy shit, bro!” gasps Chet.

“No fucking way!” shouts David.

Ari’s eyes widen into saucers.

Trevor holds the open box in his palm; its contents glitter in the afternoon light.

Sure, he gets invited to all the parties. Sure, he likes to splurge on a nice suit every once in a while. But the truth is, Trevor is not rich like Ari or David. Instead, he works hard and pays his rent, but while desperately tries to fit in with his friends’ lavish lifestyles, Trevor just isn’t really there yet.

So, the rock in his hand isn’t huge or overly expensive, but maybe, just maybe, it would be enough.

“Are you insane?!?!” Ari exclaims as if this must surely be some kind of prank.

“Bro, you are so whipped!” David gargles out a laugh, which sparks Ari to join in. Chet just stares, dumbfounded.

Trevor’s eyes dart between his friends, forcing a smile and a laugh amidst his confusion.

“You’re not serious, are you?” chides Ari, his words making a pit form in Trevor’s stomach.

When Trevor doesn’t answer, Ari just scoffs. “Trev, engagement spells the end of all fun.”

“No bro-nights. No drinking. No exclusive parties,” adds David.

Ari seizes the opportunity to continue. “You’ll just be dragged into the world of domesticity. Dinners with her friends and her family. Wedding planning. Then come the kids. Diapers. Being forced to stay home all the time. Not to mention that she won’t want you working in the city away from her. She’ll force you to take a safe job in the burbs and isolate you even more from us. I mean, we’re chick magnets, so she’d obviously be jealous all the time.”

The pit in Trevor’s stomach grows; it’s heavy and pushes acid into his throat. The question he had earlier resurfaces in his brain. Does he love Nicky? Is she the one? But would she try to change him or stop him from doing the things he enjoys? He is still young, with so much life to live and so many things to tick off his bucket list. But then, why had he just gone out and bought a ring?

“Trev, buddy,” Ari says, placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder and shaking Trevor from his thoughts.

Trevor gazes upwards, finding David as the one about to speak. “She’s probably got the plans for your future already mapped out.”

“Dave’s right,” Ari interjects. “You’re blinded by shiny stones and what-ifs. You’ve only been hooking up for the last year. Are you really ready to give all this”, he gestures around the room, “up for one person who probably wants to dictate the rest of your life? You need to look out for you, pal.”

His brow furrows as Trevor glances around absently.

Trevor always felt like he was going to be something. A few more promotions, and he would be raking in the dough. Then it would be him in a penthouse like Ari’s. Him hosting parties on a yacht. Him being able to afford Nicky the life she deserves. But right now, he couldn’t stop himself from living and enjoying the life that would get him there.

Not yet at least.

Feedback is loved ♥

[mllemaenad]

The Magnus Protocol: Saturday Night

Well, that went better than expected. I mean – there are implications, obviously, but so far everyone's limbs still seem attached, so that is a definite plus.

The meat of this thing, the case file, is interesting, because of how far it leans into a desire for publicity.

We have:

A forum post with a deliberately provocative and arguably supernatural image in First Shift

The tattoo artist who live streams the creation of an obviously supernatural tattoo in Making Adjustments

The crowd-drawing (and occasionally crowd-murdering) violin in Taking Notes

The surprisingly popular horror media review blog that has had all content removed except the posts that detail the author's ensnarement in a supernatural film viewing in Personal Screening

Needles actively reporting his crimes and harassing the emergency service operators in Introductions

The unnamed gambler character in Rolling with It feeling inspired to dress up and cause supernatural havoc in public by getting people to roll the dice

... And now Mr Bonzo

Pretty much everything about Mr Bonzo, really. This was a character that regularly appeared on television. While the situation evidently escalated, it is strongly implied that there was always something wrong with him, both by the fact that Nigel does not know where the name came from, and by Gotard Rimbaeu's disproportionate terror at encountering him. He had a chart-topping song that can still apparently be used to summon him. He has merchandise that is still being sold. And the thing is, he's still making the news:

Geraldine And how do you respond to the more recent rumours? Nigel (on guard) Excuse me? Geraldine The witness statements from three murders over the last five years- Nigel (speaking over her) I told your producer this wasn’t going to be discussed. Geraldine -that claim a person in a Mr Bonzo costume was at the scene? Do you think there could be a copycat? – The Magnus Protocol: Saturday Night

This bit here is clearly the point of this interview. The nostalgia and the laughter were all to lead Nigel into a trap: the big story here is that Mr Bonzo has been seen killing, and they want Nigel to comment on it.

I know this is a reference to a stunt on an actual British variety programme. I think it might even have aired at some point in Australia – but I must admit it wasn't something that was on my radar in the 90s. It's hard to be accurate about something from that long ago, but I don't think I ever saw it. I'm not completely sure how close this is to reality, but I think pretty close, barring the murders.

The point is, this is something that was obnoxiously popular in the real world ... and perhaps even more prominent here. Even if you're not aware of the cultural impact of this thing specifically – and like I say, this largely passed me by – you'll know how this kind of thing can spread. A novelty can consume the public consciousness. And if it's just a novelty – well, it might be annoying after a while, but no more than that. But if it's more than that?

In an odd way, all of this reminds me of Good Omens, and how the gone-native demon Crowley relates to his colleagues:

"I tied up every portable telephone system in Central London for forty-five minutes at lunchtime," he said. There was silence, except for the distant swishing of cars. "Yes?" said Hastur. "And then what?" "Look, it wasn't easy," said Crowley. "That's all?" said Ligur. "Look, people –" "And what exactly has that done to secure souls for our master?" said Hastur. Crowley pulled himself together. What could he tell them? That twenty thousand people got bloody furious? That you could hear the arteries clanging shut all across the city? And that then they went back and took it out on their secretaries or traffic wardens or whatever, and they took it out on other people? In all kinds of vindictive little ways which, and here was the good bit, they thought up themselves. For the rest of the day. The knock-on effects were incalculable. Thousands and thousands of souls all got a faint patina of tarnish, and you barely had to lift a finger. But you couldn't tell that to demons like Hastur and Ligur. Fourteenth century minds, the lot of them. Spending years picking a way at one soul. Admittedly it was craftmanship, but you had to think differently these days. Not big, but wide. With five billion people in the world you couldn't pick the buggers off one by one any more; you had to spread your effort. But demons like Ligur and Hastur. They'd never have thought up Welsh-language television, for example Or value-added tax. Or Manchester. He'd been particularly pleased with Manchester. – Good Omens, Corgi Edition, 1991. p.22-23. Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

The Magnus Archives was about secret cults and esoteric knowledge. It was about old men and their devoted acolytes trying and failing, over and over, to summon their gods. It was John running into other avatars and getting laughed at, because he had the power and the doom, but he hadn't been properly initiated into the Mysteries, so he didn't know the proper terminology.

It was also about the dead-end job you couldn't quit, no matter how much you wanted to.

The Magnus Protocol is the dead-end job you could lose tomorrow. The apparent high turnover at the OIAR, whatever the hell went on with Karl the former IT guy, Teddy losing his new job immediately after he got it – and Mr Bonzo. Mr Bonzo is the job you lose the moment a new guy turns up:

Nigel Well, there was a different man in the suit, of course. There were a few of them over the years. It was very physically demanding and that wasn’t the only injury we had with it. It actually became a sort of ritual: the newest member of the production crew wore Mr Bonzo until someone else joined. – The Magnus Protocol: Saturday Night

And it's also about freaking out a lot of people in one go.

If I have any theory about this part, it's this: what if the core difference between universes is a desire to be known, and this is because of the way The Magnus Archives ended?

There have clearly been supernatural entities in this world for centuries, at least – otherwise whence came the cursed violin? But it's impossible to reasonably discuss whether these are native beings who have been exposed to something new via interdimensional travel, or whether they are the entities from The Magnus Archives and something about the nature of interdimensional travel means that now they have always been here.

But either way, what if the new thing these beings have is ... a taste, let's say, for the public stage.

The entities from The Magnus Archives were like Hastur and Ligur. They might spend years tormenting one soul, or stage a whole set piece for one guy and have to deal with him just not getting the effort they put in. There were rituals, yes, and they were of a larger scale – but still tended to be desperately secretive.

It was craftmanship, sure, but in terms of nourishment it made them scavengers. They had to catch a person alone, or in a moment of emotional vulnerability, to feed upon them.

Then, of course, the apocalypse happened. And for a while, all the world was their smorgasbord. It turned out that everyone could be afraid at the same time. And while those set pieces still existed, they could shove lots of humans into them at once and torment them all together.

But then:

Archivist Because for the Fears to spread into these new worlds, they would need to leave ours, wouldn’t they? Annabelle If one should leave this place for… greener pastures, the rest must follow. Archivist Leaving us behind in the process, freeing our world at the cost of others.Basira What are you saying? Archivist We can pass them our apocalypse. [MUFFLED DISCOMFITED REALISATION] Annabelle Nothing so extreme. In these new worlds they would exist as they used to in ours, lurking just beyond the threshold. – The Magnus Archives: Connected

That puts everybody back to square one. I'm not suggesting that these beings have a coherent plan for restarting the apocalypse – we might get there, but these are creatures of feeling, not thought, so if we do it will likely be a human plan. Rather, I mean, that they have the feeling that they like being known. It was good to eat well. It was good when everyone was afraid.

And that changes the model. Now they're Crowley, setting up the M25 to churn out a smidgeon of low-grade evil every time someone drives on it. The push is not to isolate someone and work on them, but rather to declare to the world "Here I am".

Several people wore the Mr Bonzo suit. Not for long, but they were all touched by it. Millions saw "Nigel's SOS" (that is on the nose) and – and this is called out specifically – Mr Bonzo was especially popular with children, even though the original joke seems to be geared more toward adults. And all of them then knew about the serial killings. People don't work at the OIAR for very long, at least not usually, but everyone who does is exposed to the horror stories.

It's not the equivalent of being a statement-giver in The Magnus Archives, exactly. You don't have some personally crafted nightmare that will stay with you forever. But you know there are things out there that can hurt you. You have reason to be afraid.

And the OIAR seems to be sending Mr Bonzo out to kill. Kill whom? And why? Don't know. But as I said: he's making the news. And before him there was Starkwall. And they also made the news. By committing a massacre.

In more meta terms, Mr Bonzo seems to fill a similar niche to Jane Prentiss. He's almost certainly going to be a problem, but is probably not the problem with the world. But more importantly the kind of thing he is teaches you something about how the world works.

And he has some interesting similarities: in both cases you seem to be looking at something parasitical. Jane was both seduced and consumed by her wasp nest; and while there was enough of her left to understand what was happening she was desperate for help.

Nigel seems to be Mr Bonzo's prisoner, with the comedy dungeon transforming into a more literal hostage situation. But he's also his livelihood, and his claim to fame.

Geraldine Yes, I was going to ask – Mr Bonzo merchandise is still on sale via your own website. Do you feel at all uneasy about that? Nigel About what? The fact that a few sales might be from people trying to be edgy? A man’s got to make a living, Geraldine, and it’s not like I can tell if someone’s buying a t-shirt ironically. Besides, people think of Nigel Dickerson and Mr Bonzo is never far behind so it’s not like its changing my reputation. In a lot of ways I’m more his prisoner now than I ever was on my show. – The Magnus Protocol: Saturday Night

Jane was a creature of almost pure tragedy: sure, she had problems prior to the wasp nest – that's why she was vulnerable to it – but her descent into monstrosity is marked largely by confusion and distress. Nigel seems actively complicit in spreading Mr Bonzo around, and he's defensive when someone suggests it's inappropriate.

I assume the "worm tracks" Sam and Alice find when investigating The Magnus Institute are at least an Easter egg, although whether they're relevant to any of the current happenings remains to be seen. Whatever brought the place down mostly spared the archivist's office, and that feels relevant.

The return of the tape recorder is interesting, though, because it doesn't fit the pattern of how listening in has worked in The Magnus Protocol. Tape recorders were an Archives thing. Supernatural events would only record on tape. If no tape recorders were available in a given setting, eventually one would just manifest itself.

The situation in The Magnus Protocol has been much more opportunistic: any device with a microphone will do. If you stayed away from microphones – a thing Colin has largely managed to do – it couldn't create one to record you. Of course, tape recorders weren't just popping into being this early in The Magnus Archives either, so I'm not suggesting this is some permanent rule. But Sam and Alice's phones are clearly available as options: the first bit of conversation comes from a phone. But once inside, something makes a tape recorder when it did not have to.

And the other noteworthy thing is, of course ... whatever crawls out of the trap door at the end. Mostly this one is a "put a pin in that for later" situation, because while it's clearly important there's not much you can do with it just yet.

But there are a couple of things.

The first point of interest there is that it pops up just as Sam is talking about not being chosen for something. So is this someone who was chosen?

The second is how the character is credited: [ERROR]. That looks very much how one might see something in an error log; something technological in nature.

Which suggests Colin is right: he should figure out what's up with the computers as quickly as possible.

[infinitethree]

Daz is still in the hidden room, working on the code with Innit– which is surreally nostalgic– when Aster suddenly shouts at him.

“You planned to kill me just because I didn’t buy your act?! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He squints up at the traitor, needing a few moments to recalibrate to sudden conversation.

“Oh,” he says, blinking. “You were a threat. You still are, technically.”

Aster glares at him, and Daz rolls his eyes. “Save your bullshit. The more you talk, the less able I am to work on the damn code.”

Naturally, Aster is suspicious of that. “Code for what, some new sociopathic plan of yours?” Daz shoots back, “Innit and I are working on making its body, actually. Y’know, the thing you pushed for so bad?”

Suddenly, the bastard is in his personal space. He’s got one palm against his shoulder like he’s keeping him pinned back and growls, “You did something, didn’t you?”

It’s surprising to see him get so handsy. “Don’t fucking touch me–” “What did you do, asshole? We both know that you wouldn’t suddenly decide to be a decent fucking person without a reason. So– what. Did. You. Do.”

Daz’s sight is hijacked to see the past again.

Aster suddenly stops dead in his tracks in the middle of doing work in his office. He’s fumbling with his com, scrolling through the player list as fast as he can with trembling hands. His face has gone ashen and his thoughts are–

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck c’mon, c’mon you bastard, tell me you haven’t done it yet!

A shaky laugh escapes from Aster, but he only takes a moment to revel in the overwhelming sense of relief he feels. Not dead yet. Thank fuck…I might actually become religious from this.

Aster takes a sharp inhale and then quickly flicks through his com to find a specific menu, one Daz knows too well. It’s the one for activating remote stasis chambers, and thus the only way most of them can access the Council HQ.

I might kill you myself for this, though. Fuck, Daz– why do you have to be so broken…?

…Was that how Aster reacted when he saw that Daz was about to get himself killed for good?

A twinge of guilt threatens to tug at him, but he bats it away easily.

None of that would have happened if Aster stayed in his own fucking lane, after all.

He’s yanked to the future, which he knows is the future because Future-Aster is looking at Future-Daz, and he looks older.

Plus there’s the whole– sappy emotions, and the earcuff in Future-Daz’s ear.

The eventual version of himself is asleep on a couch that Daz hasn’t seen before. The room is unfamiliar, too– is this where they live?

Actually, from what he can see of a window, he sees some of those trees Aster loves so damn much. He must have remodeled the traitor’s house, then.

The weirdest part is that there’s a kid conked out on Future-Daz’s chest. She looks pretty young, maybe only four or so. Her hair is done up in pigtails and ribbons.

The ribbons are what gives it away, though. Daz knows his own handiwork, and he knows he’d be gun shy about giving anything like that to anyone, but especially to a kid.

Any kid but his own, that is.

…Shit, they have a kid? That’s so fucking weird!

Future-Aster thinks to himself, She looks just like him. I guess I’m just used to kids who are adopted; it still catches me by surprise. That’s genetics for you.

Daz is suddenly thrown back to the present again, reeling at the baffling and surreal implication that they– what, get a surrogate?

Uhhhg. Gross, on multiple levels. In no way shape or form does he want to– have any of that, and especially not with Aster!

Said bastard grips his shoulder and repeats, “I asked you a question–”

It’s not worth hiding it. He can’t effectively torment him without spilling the beans, anyway. “Made a deal with the Showrunner. I work on Innit’s body, meaning Innit can work on its body, and in exchange I see the same shit you do.”

There’s a long moment of silence, and then Aster scoffs and steps away. “You’re such a petty bastard.”

Even though it might prove his point, he retorts, “That’s not what you say at our wedding, you know.”

“Are you seriously going to–” Voice flipping to a mimickry of how Aster sounds, he recites, “ ‘I won’t say ‘til death do us part’. Death is too soon to let you go, so…instead? Instead, I’ll follow you through a hundred thousand lifetimes. Death, rebirth, oblivion– I don’t care. As long as you’re there, and as long as you want me…? I’ll follow you,’ ” Daz smugly tells him.

Aster glares at him with a surprising amount of venom, and then answers, “ ‘You stole my heart, but I can’t even be mad. Nothing in my life has been as good as you. Your devotion is the balm against the long, miserable, lonely years before I was with you. I can take on gods with you at my side, but without you I’m less than nothing. What I want more than anything is the die of old age in our sleep at the same as you. I love you to the point of madness; to the point of ruin.’ “

Goddamnit.

The bastard folds his arms over his chest. “You want to go low? I’ll match you. I’m not quietly putting up with your shit any more, Daz.”

He scoffs. “This’ll be fun to talk about eventually.” “Oh, I’m sure we’ll laugh and laugh over what an insufferable sociopath you used to be.” “No, I mean–”

Wait a minute.

He pauses. “...Have you seen anything big aside from the wedding and the– whatever the fuck you saw that had the suits?” “Christmas celebration, and no. Why, what did you–”

The wary question is cut off by Aster’s eyes suddenly going wide.

“Oh fuck no,” the bastard breathes. “A kid?!”

Uhhhhg, of course the Showrunner would decide to show him the damn kid.

He rolls his eyes. “Great, there goes that plan–” “To not tell me we have a goddamned child?!” “Well, evidently you adore her.” “I had fucking better, given she’s named after me!”

“Bullshit. She’s– uhg, apparently we do some shit with a surrogate–” “Then look up what ‘Azira’ means. Go on, I dare you.” Aster tells him.

He’d sound threatening if Daz wasn’t immune to him by now.

With a scoff, he pulls open one of the databases they use.

…Fuck. It means ‘a rising star’.

As he glowers at his com, Aster tells him, “I remember because it's a name related to stars. You know– my whole thing?”

“Clearly, I take pity on you and throw you a bone because I'm the biological dad.”

Aster stares at him, an odd expression on his face. “I– the rest of how fucked it is aside? That tracks. If I did love you and did decide to start a family with you, I'd rather– uhg, our kids, as gross as that feels to say– I would rather they have a shot at your freakish intelligence.”

…Huh. That's weirdly mature of him to admit.

“Granted, they'd also be at risk for inheriting your sociopathy, so maybe not. Tell me– was that genetic, or learned from your monster of a brother?”

Aaaaand there’s the loss of any goodwill that gained.

Sneering, he shoots back, “I know that about as well as you know if your stupidity is genetic.”

Aster’s gaze narrows, and he grabs a fistful of Daz’s shirt. “Careful, you don't want to piss me off.”

“Or what?”

A slow, ominous smile curls up on the bastard's lips.

“You made it so that nobody else can be an effective sparring partner for you. That means you're going to get your ass handed to you if you keep fucking around.”

He laughs in his face. “That’s your big threat?! Oh, honey…that's pathetic. You can't fully beat me up, you'll look like an asshole.”

Aster’s smile only grows. “You underestimate me, Daz. You always have.”

Is that really what he thinks?

Daz might have manipulated him, sure– but he always saw Aster as someone with potential.

That's why he extended a hand for the Council. It's why he pushed and bullied and forced Aster to grow.

Left to his own devices, he would be a fraction of the person Daz helped shape him into.

Aster, for years, held the most vital role in his plans. Daz never would have let someone he deemed unworthy control the Swords and Shields, nor hinge his last resort on them.

As little as he likes the traitor…Aster is competent, determined, and surprisingly humble.

He scoffs, “You understand me even less than before.”

With that, he forcibly removes Aster’s hand and gets up.

…Only to get hit with a dizzy spell and start going down immediately.

Aster catches him, probably without even meaning to. “Daz?”

Huh, he actually sounds worried.

Blinking dark spots from his eyes, he shoves his wrist upwards to look at his console. It takes a few tries to get it right, which he’s aware is a problem.

He struggles to focus enough to see the time, but Innit notes with surprise, it’s been sixteen hours since you ate. Were we really here for that long…?

Ohhhhh. Yeah, that’d do it.

He mumbles, distantly aware that the words aren’t coming out right, “Big pr’ject. N’t used to it. Forgot t’eat.”

He’s set down on the couch with a surprising amount of gentleness, considering they were fighting just a moment ago.

“I’ll be right back,” Aster tells him, going back through the passage he came from.

Right, sure.

Daz closes his eyes to fight the way his body is suddenly screaming at him to take care of it. He’s exhausted, starving, and sore from both the repetitive motions and not moving around much.

There’s the sound of a throat being cleared, and when he opens his eyes, two sandwiches are being held out to him.

…Huh. He didn’t actually think Aster would come back.

He grabs them and damn near inhales the food, ditto for the water he’s given.

Finally feeling a bit better now that he’s sitting and with something in his stomach, he asks Aster, “...Why?”

A long, tired sigh comes from the other Tommy, who sinks down next to him on the couch. “...I think you’re a petty, selfish bastard. But I don’t you to suffer,” Aster tells him, brow furrowed a little.

Weird.

“I still hate you for seeing in my head.” “Aren’t we even for that? I’ve explained my reasons. I reluctantly agreed once the wish was brought up; you did this all on your own our of petty spite.”

That gives him pause. “...You never mentioned it was reluctant.”

Aster stares at him in bafflement. “I was ready to refuse, but it’s a literal fucking reality warping wish– one I can hand over to anyone I want. There’s– shit, Daz, I might not have known but it was being offered by the god of time and reality. And fuck knows what else they reside over!”

He hates that he has a good point.

“I thought you jumped on the chance to pry my head open.” “I hated the idea, actually. I know you’ve secretive and I didn’t want to invade your privacy. But I assumed, stupidly, that I’d just– be told things. Like how Observers ask questions. In what fucking way was I supposed to know that I’d see things, and be in your head? I knew you’d be mad, but I, again stupidly, figured that you could recognize that the wish was worth the mortifying ordeal of being known.”

Daz knows he’s sulking as he mutters, “You could have asked me.” “Really didn’t feel like that was an option. Would you want to tell the Showrunner ‘please wait while I call up the guy you hate for permission’?”

Goddamnit.

See?! I told you he��s a good person!

“Shut up,” Daz mutters, scrubbing at his face. “I don’t need you yammering in my ear, too.”

Stop being a dick ‘cause I was proven right yet again. You always ignore me and it always fucks you over.

Aster asks, “Innit talking?” “Mhm. I’m not acting your gofer, you’ll have plenty of time to talk soon enough.”

There’s a little bit of blessed silence, and Daz feels his eyes getting heavy.

Fuck, he doesn’t want to fall asleep like this. But he’s tired, and…

And, as little as he wants to admit it, it’s nice to have someone next to him.

A small, stupid, childish part of him wants to ask Aster to stay right here so he might not be tormented by nightmares.

But also, he’d rather die than voice that tiny desire.

There’s a little disappointment as the other him starts moving, but it was inevitable.

Then he’s scooped up.

He sputters, “Wh– what the fuck?!” “Unfortunately for you, I know what you want. Even worse, I’m not enough of an asshole to refuse,” Aster tells him, just before tossing him onto the bed.

His heart hammers. “If you try anything weird–” Giving him a withering look, Aster snaps, “The fuck do you take me for? No, asshole, I’m dealing with your nightmares, insomnia, and touch starvation in one fell swoop.” The bastard undoes his shoes and flops down.

Oh hell no.

He tries to get up, but Aster yanks him back down. “I don’t trust you to get home on your own, and you’ll sleep like shit anyway. If you’re doing something nice– even if it’s for extremely fucked up reasons– I’m rewarding that by letting you actually fucking sleep for once in– what, four years or so?”

…It sucks that he can’t muster up the energy to fight this more seriously.

But, gods, real sleep sounds amazing. And his body is screaming for it, practically forcing it on him already.

So, reluctantly, he lets Aster wrap his arms around him and start messing with his hair.

“You can go back to being an insufferable asshole tomorrow. For now, just take this with a little grace.”

Daz can’t reply, because he’s already out like a light.

[atopvisenyashill]

the way twitter stans don't get matt smith is playing up the blacks vs greens conflict like most of the actors have been in the recent interviews, like ofc as the person who plays daemon he's gonna say he doesn't like alicent lmao

(also i find it interesting how all of the crazy team green twitter stans had no problem when tgc called jace a dweeb isn't that hate too🤔)

no YEAH and like, obvious caveat it isn't the whole fandom but twitter does incentivise the absolute craziest people to get popular which means some of thee most annoying people to have ever existed in this world are popular in the greater hotd fandom, and what's been consistently frustrating is how many people who are either rhaenicent/girls focused or tg stans who just refuse to acknowledge the absolutely cracked behavior coming from their side. like, all this focus on olivia, basically with the implication that this is an isolated thing like with the hate lena got for playing cersei, but it's not because imo the internet (or at least twitter) has gotten infinitely worse since got finished, so it's not just olivia getting this insane behavior, it's the bulk of the cast! and it's coming from everyone, from the angry book fans, the targ nation delulus, the femslash enjoyers, tb, tg, every subfandom has had some insane and over the line behavior directed towards the cast that loves to default to either "well you're ugly and i hope you die" or just straight up bigotry.

like the amount of people (largely the "toxic yuri enjoyers" or the tb stans, i can whack the people i hang out with!!) going after tom for saying standard actor stuff like "I love my character" or "i feel bad for my character" and saying he's a rape apologist is crazy. people didn't even go after jason momoa for that real dumbshit "i get to rape beautiful women" comment this hard! is he supposed to not try to understand the character he's playing?? are people who play villains or antagonists just never allowed to feel sympathy for their characters? that's crazy, that's insane, but especially in a series where a) there are SO MANY villain protagonists and b) this series is known for exploring why bad people turn into bad people and why good people do bad things and what even a "bad person" or a "good person" looks like, so why are we mad that the cast plays into this??

and YEAH tbh like you say, i think there's a lot of in this case tg stans specifically who get so fucking angry whenever Matt Smith plays along with the "all must choose" angle but it's like - yeah of course he does, he's not the only one doing this, he clearly thinks it's fun to joke about how he's gonna decimate ewan mitchell, and i think a lot of his bts stuff throughout his career has gone from the two extremes of "having something amazing to say" and "being completely and totally unserious" because this is a job he does, and he likes to get goofy with it. it's fine!!! but no, apparently, it's such a crime to simply exist and like that he's playing this fun character with a goofy wig and a cool aesthetic that we've gotta dogpile every post about him calling him ugly!! but when The People We Hate In Fandom do something vile like call olivia a cunt to her face, that's the true evil! and when People We Are Friends With start saying really weird shit about fabien being ~violent~ we just look the other way even tho that feels just a lil racist!!!

it's more frustrating because you can't even say this is a fandom that skews young like a shitty teen show or a cartoon - this is a grown up show for adults, this is prestige tv, this is a show and a series you actually think "maybe i should wait a few years before i let my middle schooler dig into that one" but the fandom is SO INSANE. WE ARE ALL ADULTS WHY ARE WE ACTING SO JOBLESS. GO PAY YOUR CHILD SUPPORT. DO SOME YOGA SO YOUR BACK DOESN'T SEIZE UP BEFORE 40. TOUCH GRASS!!

[peacerisendove]

Big Ethel Energy Season 2 Episode 23

Dove Episode Summary: Ethel continues to be selfish/a bad friend, the story actually recognizes that for once (whoa!!!), people continue to be nosy as hell, and this webcomic continues to steer toward the dramatic.

It's called overcompensation by your girlfriend because she got called out.

By the way I'm still mad the comic brushed off how Moose treated her in and displayed such unwarranted aggression and jealousy (Season 2 Episode 16). And she just forgave him just. Like. That. Before Ethel accepted Moose's explanation that it's just a fight and moved on to overcompensating. That's how Moose's first relationship must have ended! The anger! The jealousy!

Those are red flags, girl!! That was not just a fight!! You don't get over ANYONE insulting your character and looking down on you that fast!!

I know it wasn't this episode but GOD the whiplash makes me mad. I'm hoping the dissolution of their relationship IF it happens addresses this.

Now back to current events:

HER BEING TERRIBLE IS ON PURPOSE FOR ONCE. HALLELUJAH! THAT'S WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

GIRL LEFT TIM AT JUGHEAD'S TILL 11:31 PM. JESUS. And look at Jughead being so understanding despite the fact she's been gone since-- Let's check...

(Season 2 Episode 20)

ALMOST SEVEN WHOLE HOURS. WHAT KIND OF PERSON ABANDONS THEIR FRIEND, FORGETS ABOUT THEM AND THE FACT THEY'RE LOCKED OUT OF THEIR APARTMENT, FOR SEVEN HOURS.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE, ETHEL.

(Also let me take a bat to this chibi Ethel bubble for trying to lead us on. She doesn't actually care if she can leave him there for seven hours without much of a thought.)

Truth and beauty bombs from my fav. Also I haven't mentioned this , but Juggie is looking good in these panels. I like his outfit a lot.

I swear if they are rewriting/retconning what felt like such a clear implication that Jughead was asexual and aromantic. I'm gonna be a so mad.

Now I know sexuality is fluid and how people identify changes over time, but goddammit I thought we had some more ace/aro/acearo REP. It feels real shitty after an initially shitty way of what felt like an attempt at ace/aro/aroace rep.

Oh, my god. I know it's a drama forward webcomic, but why does everyone have to be in everyone else business??? There's got to be other ways to get conflict other than gossip or misunderstandings. Right???

Honestly just let someone be shitty straight to someone's face. I'll take that over another misunderstanding, which honestly, I would bet money is a part of how Ethel and Moose break up if they break up.

Honestly here's a list of contributing factors I think could lead to their potential break up:

Moose's jealousy

Moose's aggression issues

Ethel's lack of communication skills

General communication issues

Misunderstandings

Gossip coming from others

Ethel's crush on Seth

Jughead being a trigger point for Moose

Resentment toward Moose regarding how he treated Ethel (ex: Season 2 Episode 20)

[to-thelakes]

hot water bottle

pairing; luke alvez x fem!reader

summary; you always struggled to sleep and you hated luke knowing but he wakes up and does his best to help.

warnings; pure fluff, just pure fluff, implications of reader having insomnia

notes; i feel like this one-shot truly exposes my britishness, a proper kettle, hot water bottles? i feel like there's something quintessentially british about how reader acts in this but i might just be insane. either way, i wrote this super self-indulgently so i hope u can all still enjoy <3

masterlist

It was another one of those nights. You hadn’t had one in a while but after you and Luke had gone to bed, you couldn’t sleep. The two of you had decided to sleep, curled up against each other but at some point as you tried desperately to drift off, Luke had rolled away from you. You were glad really because you didn’t want to wake him up. You knew that he wouldn’t mind and he would want to know but you also wanted him to sleep. A case could pop up at any minute and you didn’t want to be the reason that he wasn’t feeling his best.

If you didn’t feel your best, that was on you and you knew how to deal with it. But it was exhausting, constantly shuffling over and trying to sleep. You were somehow cold and yet a perfectly normal temperature and when you kept your eyes closed for too long, your world felt like it was spinning.

But you wanted to make a hot water bottle. You had noticed it earlier that day when you and Luke had sorted out the bottom of the closet. You hadn’t used it for months and now, you wanted it. You wanted the warmth against your skin and the comfort. It was all you could think of to maybe help you fall into sleep.

It probably wouldn’t help but you could try.

So, as silently as you could, you slipped from under the covers and padded over to the dresser where you had abandoned the hot water bottle earlier. Once it was in your grasp, you headed downstairs. Despite your best attempts, Roxy had noticed you moving and she lifted her head, looking up at you. You sent her a soft smile in return before slipping out of the bedroom. 

It was clear that she didn’t sense anything was immediately wrong and so, she settled back into her bed. You were glad. You didn’t want to confuse her and you honestly weren’t sure you could hold it together if Roxy was walking around with you. The soft little nuzzles and her big eyes had a way of breaking your walls down even though she couldn’t say anything. It was a small mercy.

You took the stairs down to the bottom floor and slipped into the kitchen, grabbing the kettle and filling it with water before flicking it on. You unscrewed the top of the hot water bottle before shaking any excess water out. Once it was cleared out, you placed it on the side. It was just a matter of waiting for the kettle now.

You rested back against the counter as your eyes scanned the kitchen and living room. You hadn’t bothered to switch any of the lights on and the moonlight meant you could manoeuvre around with ease. It just seemed unnecessary and would unnecessarily wake you up which was the opposite of what you were aiming for.

You must have zoned out because when you heard a soft call of your name, the kettle had finished boiling and Luke was standing in the doorway. Your eyes refocused on him and you sent him a quick smile before you flicked the kettle back on again to make sure it’d be hot enough.

“What are you doing awake?” Luke’s voice was hoarse and groggy, thick with sleep. Your gut churned with guilt and he noticed the hot water bottle, “Have you got cramps?” He asked as he walked over to you. You shook your head.

“No, I’m okay. Just wanted a hot water bottle,” You dismissed as you glanced at him over your shoulder. The kettle flicked off and you began to count in your head to 30.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Luke wrapped his arms around you.

5, 6, 7, 8.

His face nuzzled into your neck.

9, 10, 11, 12.

You picked up the hot water bottle.

13, 14, 15, 16.

You began to fiddle with the stopper as Luke pulled you against him.

17, 18, 19, 20-

“Am I allowed to know what’s going on?” He asked, interrupting the tick of numbers through your head. Realistically, it would probably be fine now and so you leant forward and picked the kettle.

“Just couldn’t sleep,” You dismissed as you began to pour the water into the hot water bottle. He watched you, chin rested against your shoulder but you could feel the worry radiating off him, “I promise, I’ll be okay,” You said, placing the kettle back down. You then put the stopper back in and waited a moment before untwisting it and letting the hot air out. Then you twisted it and slipped it under the waistband of your pants, resting it against your stomach. Your body had done it on automatic but you didn’t have cramps so instead you slipped it back out and pressed it against the side of your chest.

“Shall we go back to bed?” He asked. You nodded and the two of you headed back upstairs. Luke slipped back under the covers and you stared at the bed for a moment before sighing. The thought of crawling back under the sheets just made you want to give up. The bed had been the bane of your life for the past four or so hours. Luke watched, concern etched across his features, “Hey, look at me,” He let out the soft demand and you flicked your gaze up to his face.

“Don’t give me that look,” You muttered before you crawled onto the bed and knelt in front of him. He gently tugged you into his lap and you curled your head against his bare chest, “I know you think that there’s something else going on but there isn’t. I just can’t sleep and I don’t know why and yeah, maybe it’s anxiety or it’s just because I’m really overwhelmed right now but that’s not what’s on my mind and keeping me up. I just can’t sleep,” You rambled. You wanted him to understand that you felt okay. You didn’t feel amazing because you’d be asleep if you did but it wasn’t something that you could talk about with him. It was just something keeping you awake.

“I believe you,” Luke responded, “What bothers me is you didn’t wake me up,” You sighed and slipped the hot water bottle to rest between your two bodies before you slipped your arms up to wrap around his neck.

“Sorry,” You mumbled. He pressed a kiss to your forehead, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist, “I just wanted to make sure you got good sleep,” You admitted against his skin. He shifted his hand to run across your back, running patterns along your skin.

“I’d sleep better knowing you were okay,” He whispered against your ear. You sighed and tilted your head down, the guilt churning in your stomach, “Let me help you get some sleep, okay?” He asked. You nodded and he shifted so that you were both lying down. You rested on top of him, cheek resting against his pec and you could hear the thump, thump, thump of his heart beating. It was a soothing sound and you let your eyes close.

“Can you talk to me?” You asked, “I just wanna hear your voice.” Luke moved his hand to stroke across your arm.

“Okay,” He said and then he began to talk. It wasn’t about anything in particular, he switched from talking about the hike he and Roxy had gone on to his favourite thing to bake and then how much he loved to see you happy. You weren’t sure what it was but listening to his voice, the soft thump of his heart and his hands against you seemed to soothe your agitated mind.

It wasn’t an instant fix but your eyes were closed and stayed closed. You didn’t feel the need to force them back open and your world seemed to stay stable for the first time all night. He continued to talk, switching to talking about his mom and the recipes that she used to cook and how much she loved you and Luke could feel how the tension released from your shoulders the more he spoke.

Knowing that you were starting to relax made him feel better. The tension and worry in his gut seemed to slip away as he continued to talk until you stopped making your little intermittent mumbles of agreement and small questions. He could feel the even breaths you let out, your eyes closed and when he stopped talking, you didn’t say a word. It seemed that you were asleep, finally. He smiled and slipped his hand under your sleepshirt, resting his hand against your bareskin. He wanted that closeness as he let himself drift back to sleep too.

[megatraven]

dude i was just thinking about this this morning!! like. the implication of alex's route that aphrodite has always known mc carries hera's potential from the moment her mother died... that's so fucked up!!! with hades it's different- he doesnt know that mc has hera's potential still. maybe it's his grief, but there are multiple instances across routes that tell us the readers that hades didn't know until x moment in the route. but aphrodite? she doesn't get a moment of "oh. mc has her potential." because she already knew it

part of me wonders if that's why aphrodite stayed away following her mother's death; was it an act of protection for mc? was it hoping that staying away this time would stop the past from repeating itself?

and then mc starts working at hera, and her and alex fall in love, and... aphrodite stays quiet.

telling mc might very well doom her to the fate of hera. telling alex might ruin their relationship (aphrodite's with them, and theirs with mc). if they keep it a secret, that secret will come out, and it would shatter mc. if they tell her, it leads back to the initial problem of mc knowing about it.

so she stays quiet. and ares learns it by himself- he's been harassing her unbeknownst to aphrodite, and watching a human of all people tank one of his attacks? of course he realizes what it means.

alex learns next, because of ares and what he said to mc, and they bring mc with them to confront their mother. because surely that isn't real. surely the woman that they live for, the woman that they love more than anything, is not the missing goddess. surely their mother didn't bless them with a doomed love. there's denial and fear and definitely heartache at the prospect of losing her, but- surely their mother would have told them. right? denial probably saves them a lot of grief just then, only for it to come crashing down in the next moment.

because when they ask, aphrodite confirms it and it does break their heart then. "I'll lose her!" they say. and then having to turn around and explain to mc herself what it all means... they must hurt so bad, having to be the bearer of that bad news, but it's not something they can shield her from now, especially since ares knows. it must ache in such a deep way, and even more to see the love of their life struggle under the weight of the truth.

aphrodite must feel their heart break... but, then, a solution!

mc can simply become ares' hero! the goddess can't be awoken in someone bound to another god. supposedly. and since aphrodite loves ares, and they're always together, that means alex and mc will be together. perfect solution!

shackle her to a god, or die for the goddess. easy choice!

except that her child is more distraught than ever before when they storm away with mc in tow.

so fucked up, dude. so fucked up. the entire situation. how else could it have gone? there was only ever going to be heartache from the moment the potential passed on to her. it was only ever going to break their heart when they learned it. [insert something about fate]

@megatraven

I’m watching Alex (again) and I got to this part in their S2

Ik it’s a sudden thought and probably obvious, but I bet it was heartbreaking to learn she has Hera’s potential. Like, in this scene we see them connecting the dots in real time and I bet it hurts so much. They know they can lose her, and it’s all of a sudden and oh…..I bet it hurts a lot. Even when they deny the possibility by saying Aphrodite would’ve sensed it, I bet a part of them was wondering if she was hiding it and not telling the truth. They later call her out (if I’m remembering properly) and it’s even more painful to have the truth suddenly and have Ares of all people knowing about it and then basically damning her in Olympus. And they have to WATCH!!

It just hit me for a second and it hurts😭.

EDIT:

Oh, honey……..

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

[smilesbag]

so i wanna talk about the 302 leaks

this week has been pretty tragic, with the whole todoroki family reflecting and picking and choosing who to blame for where touya went wrong.

it makes me sick to think of the guilt that this family must carry (other than Endeavor, who is entirely deserving of it.) Natsuo, like he usually does, represents a bitter, spiteful perspective- one that is furious over the loss and mistreatment of his oldest brother. He blames Endeavor for everything that happened, but can't help implicating himself in the story.

Rei tries to play the mediator, saying that they all deserved a piece of the blame for Touya's descent. I personally think this is a pretty messed up take, as he was being neglected and abused by his parents, and the burden of comforting him should not have fallen onto his younger siblings shoulders, it was his parents duty to keep him safe in the first place.

and of course I can't entirely blame Rei, who was trying to survive her own abuse at the time, doing her best to raise Touya and the others without suffering Endeavors cruelty, but to say that each of them played a role in his abuse after her son thinks himself to be guilty is so upsetting to me,

because Natsuo was only a child.

He was too young to understand the nuances of their situation, and it made Touya angry that his little brother didn't understand him or the abuse he suffered at the hands of his father.

Touya was alone. isolated from Shoto, his youngest brother and the only person who might have understood what he had gone through, a child who Touya knew was about to endure the same physical and psychological abuse he had suffered for years.

and poor Touya, he always tried his best. constantly tearing his own body apart just so his father, the man who he looked up to and wanted more than anything to make happy, 'could finally say he was glad Touya was born.' it breaks my heart.

and awful thing is that they all blame Touya too. of course it was wrong of him to do all of the horrible things he has done, but the bottom line is he is still that same neglected, unhappy child, desperate to prove to his father that he is finally worth something. and if he's learned anything at this point, it's how to get his father's attention.

and poor shoto.

always the one who has to bear his families shame, who has to repair relations with his mother, try to forgive his father, and now he has to do the unthinkable- take down his brother, a monster created by his own father's hand.

and it just infuriates me that this child, this 15 year old kid, who has just been beaten down by a man who should have been his brother, who he should have memories with and should have called a friend, a man who suffered so much abuse only to be thrown away, this kid now has to defeat him. he shouldn't have to wipe away his tears and stand up, he shouldn't have to fight his own brother who is so similar to him, while Endeavor sits in bed and weeps for the fruit of the rotten seeds he has sown.

and the heroes smile. they watch the children that they are supposed to be protecting dust themselve's off after a life changing battle, and just like that they're ready to send them back into the fray. it sucks. it hurts. hero society does not care that they're children, they only care that they've been bred to be soldiers, willing to sacrifice their own bright, beautiful futures at the young age of 15.

so i just hate it. i hate how much pain this family endures. i hate that Touya cannot be redeemed. i hate that Natsuo and Fuyumi feel so much guilt. i hate that Shoto is going to have to be the one to put an end to the hurt. and i hate that Endeavor gets to watch, useless and regretful, merely an observer in the war which he started. i hate it all.