#like. i dont think ill expand further into why i cant handle it i guess its obvious but it makes me think its. not normal right?
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#my posts#i am three steps away from having a mental breakdown at 4 pm i love this#so as you can guess this is a#vent#thats gonna go into a tmi! so like. youre warned!!!#ok so im ln my period and like thats already bad but unless it makes me feel sick i can deal right? some dysphoria but ya know#the usual. ive grown to deal with it#anyways for the plan of not spending too much money on pads a few months ago i bought... idk the name on english. the plastic containers#you put inside yourself and can keep there for like 12 hours and dont need pads nor tampons#ok that was an useless thing to buy and its not the things fault but mine!#i cant handle it. i could barely handle tampons idk why i thought i could handle this. i feel useless and like smths wrong with me lmao#like. i dont think ill expand further into why i cant handle it i guess its obvious but it makes me think its. not normal right?#ive. made research. its. not normal. like im not using it wrong so whats wrong with me isnt normal#i just.... im a mess jfc#do i want to go even more tmi in my own vent post tags idk maybe ok like#im not a virgin but i might as well be bc i only had a dick inside me 2 and both times didnt last and in concept it was disappointing but#but also i was kinda glad? bc i could never get used to the feeling and it was more painful than anything honestly?#so like I'm. not surprised i cant really handle this but it only makes me think back to that and. and how i genuinely feel theres smth wrong#with me like i cant put more than one finger in myself if i masturbate or else it becomes uncomfortable and one is already uncomfortable#sometimes so... so yeah i guess that isnt normal....#so yeah i tried to use that thing again like. half an hour ago bc im running low on pads and didnt want to go to the store and i couldn't#so im. in different kinds of pain and also feeling like theres something wrong with me that i never really considered#bc im the kind of person whos like 'haha theres something wrong with me' bc theres been for years#this is new so its hard to deal with. amazing. anyways im gonna stop now if you read this im sorry lmao
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