#like. guys. it's just cheeze.

[adelle-ein]

if i really wanted to start controversy i could share my dairy-free opinions. follow your heart is the best vegan cheese.

[chromojoy]

Haven't drawn them in a while. Gotta change that.

[cheecats]

Can I request Shadowsight for the designs? Or maybe Frecklewish if you'd rather?

I'm curious what either would look like in your style! (Which I adore btw it's SO good)

i know Shadowsight is described as small in the books, but I prefer to interpret him with the Tigerstar(tm) tallness with Dovewing's build, and that he tends to shrink down/lower his voice while talking to appear as meek/non-threatening as possible because his peers get nervous around him

[vinnigami]

Aogami and Narumi should meet. It would be funny. They can bond over having gnc Little Guys (tm)

I would love to be a fly on the wall for that, especially considering Narumi’s only seen demons to play Mahjong

[hannibalismos-jaaneman]

the sole and devastating problem with monkey man is that it will literally never be able to push past the people who think the concept of the film disrespects hanuman ji to be exposed in an environment where people see it for more than its name.

[mewvore]

i love how u just repost ur tweets its silly

its a microcosm of everything about my posting style: my supreme laziness for restructuring a post, my desire to show people a joke more than once for maximum comedic timing, and my desire to not let a post flop

[cheebuss]

I love ADHD Medic headcanons so much you guys, please keep them coming

[superhaught]

Gym Class Heroes (Chapter Two)

Pairing: Regina George x Reader

Warnings: homophobia

Word Count: ~2300, Part 2/?

Part 1

Regina pursues her interest in protecting reader as she recovers from the basketball to the head.

Turns out, you did indeed have a mild concussion from the basketball incident, so you took the weekend and the following Monday off of school to rest and recuperate.

You were napping when your mom knocked lightly on your bedroom door and then came in. You woke up and saw that she had an armful of things.

“One of your school friends stopped by and brought your homework from today plus a card and some snacks, how sweet!”

You sat up and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, “one of my friends? Do you know who?”

“Oh I don’t know, sweetheart. She was blonde and tall and pretty.”

You couldn’t help your face from lighting up, “gimme the card!”

Your mom handed you everything and you tore open the envelope. It was a simple “get well soon” card but what you were most interested in was the handwritten note. The writer’s penmanship was exquisite, not that you were particularly surprised by that fact. The card smelled like her perfume, as if she had spritzed some on. She’s unreal, you thought. Fragrant notes of orange blossom and rose filled your nostrils and it was addictive. 

The note read: Hey you, I hope you’re doing okay and aren’t too worried about getting behind on schoolwork. If you need help getting your homework done, I know a guy. Anyways, Shane got three days of suspension, which isn’t enough, imo. Text me if ur bored <3 R

She wrote her phone number at the end. You giggled and reread it in full, going as far as kicking your feet excitedly under your blankets. 

“She seems like a sweet girl,” your mom pointed out.

Her voice brought you back to reality. You cleared your throat, “mom, my head is kind of hurting, can I go back to sleep?”

“Oh yeah, of course honey! Get some rest.”

“Thank you,” you set the card down next to you and laid back down as your mom left and once she closed the door behind her, you grabbed your phone and began typing a message to Regina’s number. 

“Hey, ‘R’” you wrote. 

The message delivered and the little typing-indicator dots showed up right away, then her message back came through, “I’m glad you didn’t keep me waiting ;)” then she sent a second message, “how are you feeling?”

[Text Message Transcript: Reader: I’m feeling okay. I got a concussion like you thought, but I should be back tomorrow. Thank you for the snacks, btw. How did you know cheez-its are my fav? | Regina: My lips are sealed | Reader: You must have gone to a lot of effort to discover my favorite snacks and my home address… | Regina: It’s nothing someone with my social power can’t handle. | Reader: Well, I owe you. For this and for taking care of me yesterday. | Regina: You don’t owe a thing | Reader: Come on, you’ve gotta let me repay you somehow. | Regina: I won’t allow it | Reader: -_- | Regina: :P | seriously. don’t worry about it. | Reader: But why are you being so nice to me? | Regina: because | Reader: That isn’t an answer | Regina: must I have a reason?? | Reader: People usually do | Regina: cynical of you | I guess I feel bad. MY idiot ex gave you a concussion and was an asshole | also | I think ur cute | Reader: It’s not like you own him. | Regina: are you just gonna ignore that last part | Reader: I was getting there! how do you type so fast when you have acrylics?? | Regina: ... | i blame your concussed brain | Reader: You thought about making a dirty joke, didn't you? | Regina: no | maybe | Reader: So... you think I'm cute? | Regina: Not anymore. I take it back because you embarrassed me. | Reader: No take backsies | Regina: Well now I really take it back because that was dumb | Reader: I don't believe you! | Regina: good | you're going to have to see through my bitch act if we keep going along this path | Reader: "if we keep going along this path" meaning...? | Regina: meaning... if you let me take you out on a date | when you're all recovered of course | Reader: Like... a date date? | Regina: yeah dumbass | what other kind is there?| Reader: Sorry!! I've just... never been asked out before | Regina: okay well... I am asking you out | End of transcript]

Being stunned, you didn’t respond to Regina’s text right away. Your heart was pounding. You couldn’t believe that Regina, the queen bee of the school, the most popular girl, the previously-believed-to-be-completely-and-totally-straight-girl, was asking you out. 

Another text from her popped up, “well don’t leave me hanging”

You decided that you wanted to call her. Maybe you felt like you needed to in order to confirm that this was actually real. You called and it rang twice and then you heard her voice through the phone.

She chuckled as she spoke, “hi…”

“Hi…” you said back, suddenly forgetting what words were. 

“What did you want to say that couldn’t have been sent over text?”

“I just… you really want to date me?”

“Yes. I do. Is that really so shocking?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Well listen, I’ve had my eye on you for a while now. And, as I’m sure you are aware, I’m used to getting what I want.”

You shuddered and then replied, “Regina… I’d love to go out with you.”

The two of you continued to talk on the phone well into the night. It was Regina who insisted that you hang up and go to bed to get some good sleep before coming to school tomorrow. The blonde also offered to pick you up in the morning and drive you to school herself. You, of course, accepted. 

You went to sleep feeling lighter than air. 

In the morning, you got ready for school with more zeal than you ever had in your life. Your mother wondered out loud whether you had been replaced overnight by an entirely different person. You just smiled and said that you were happy and feeling better. 

There was a car horn honk from your driveway and your mom kissed your cheek goodbye as you left your home. 

Regina was sitting in her black Jeep, using her mirror to fix her hair. She smiled at you as you came out of your house and approached the passenger side of her car. She leaned and reached over, cracking the door open for you and then offering you her hand to hold as you stepped up into the car.

You sat down and tossed your backpack into the backseat. 

She smiled again, looking you over, “you look so cute!” Regina then gently caressed her thumb over the bruise on your forehead from the basketball, “and this is looking much better.”

You looked her up and down as well and smiled, “you look incredible…”

“Thanks, baby.” 

She had called you ‘baby’ on the phone the night before as well. The affection made your heart flutter.

She continued, “get buckled, let’s go.”

Regina drove you both to school and parked in her spot in the student lot. It wasn’t an assigned parking spot or anything, it was just the closest spot to her preferred entrance and it was hers by way of having scolded anyone who had ever dared to park there.

When you got out of the car, Regina walked over to you and took your hand in hers. 

Surprised, you said, “you know, we haven’t actually gone out yet…”

“I know that. Do you mind if I hold your hand anyway? Do I have to wait before I can show you off?”

“I don’t mind,” you smiled. 

Regina walked you into the school and immediately, all eyes were on the two of you. You half expected Regina to drop your hand but she didn’t. You glanced over at her and she was proud. Beaming even. 

She squeezed your hand a little tighter and looked at you, “you okay?”

You nodded your head, “I am.”

Regina went with you to your locker and leaned against the adjacent locker while you put your backpack away. Then Regina noticed that you had a small magnetic mirror in your locker and she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around you from behind and looked into the mirror.

“We look good together, don’t we?”

You looked at the image in the mirror and thought she was right. With her bright blonde locks draped over your shoulders, her manicured fingers touching your neck, her cheek pressed against yours, it was a dream come true. 

“It’s way too easy for me to get lost in you…”

“I feel the same way, baby.”

At that point, Gretchen and Karen approached, locating Regina as if they had a homing beacon to her. Gretchen flashed you a polite smile and said, “you look mostly recovered!”

Karen stared at you with wide eyes and said, “don’t worry, I’ve been knocked out by a basketball too! It happens to everyone.”

You thought about objecting to her statement in some way but then you just nodded. 

Regina grabbed your hand again and touched your cheek, turning you to face her, “you’ll sit with us at lunch, right?”

“Oh sure! If you want me to…”

“Of course, silly! Well, you know where to find me, then. I’ll see you later.” Regina pulled you into a hug and squeezed you tightly against her chest. And for the first time in your life, you felt genuinely wanted.

The next two days went by fast. Regina took over driving you to and from school and your mom thanked her profusely for giving her a break. You joined Regina, Gretchen and Karen for lunch, sometimes you were also joined by Cady, Janis and Damien, now that things had gotten less tense between those two trios in the aftermath of the junior year dramatics. 

Regina was extremely attentive to you. You naturally fell into habits of taking care of each other, Regina looking out for you as you continued to recover from your concussion, and you paying attention to her chronic pain flare ups and making sure she was monitoring her POTS symptoms. 

You and Regina agreed to go on your first official date together that weekend, but she certainly was not hesitating to claim you as hers in the meantime. In those 48 hours, there was already an instagram and twitter account dedicated to shipping the two of you and you overheard a lot of talk about your sudden closeness and Regina’s obvious protection over you. 

It all came to a head the day that Shane Oman was back at school.

At lunch, Regina showed up to the table a few minutes later than what was typical for her, and she was dragging Shane by his shirtsleeve until she shoved him right in front of you. 

You set your lunch down and looked at him, then Regina, who shoved him again and said, “well, go ahead.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “fine… I’m sorry…”

Regina’s arms were crossed but she smirked a little, clearly proud of herself. 

“Sorry that you’re a disgusting fucking carpetmuncher!” Shane finished, yelling loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear and immediately cease their conversations, turning all of their attention to your table. 

Gretchen covered her own mouth in shock. Janis and Damien's jaws both dropped open. Karen was staring at something on the ceiling. Cady whispered “oh my gosh” under her breath. 

You just froze and stared. 

Regina lurched forward and gripped the back of Shane’s shirt collar, pulling him backwards by it in a swift motion and basically choking him with the fabric, “what the fuck did you just say?” she growled.

Shane coughed, “I… I… said… carpetmuncher… and I’m not sorry… and I don’t believe for one second… that you’re falling for this… this… dyke!”

“Oh? You don’t?” Regina pushed Shane down to the ground and he collapsed to his knees and rubbed his neck as Regina let him go. Regina walked over to you and took your face in her hands. One second, her face was red with fury, but when she looked down at you, she immediately softened. She pulled you close to her and then pressed her lips to yours.

It wasn’t how you imagined how your first kiss with Regina would have gone, but you wouldn’t have changed anything about it. 

She kissed you so tenderly. Your senses were completely overwhelmed by the softness of her lips, the taste of her lip gloss, the smell of her hair, the feel of her tongue just teasing your bottom lip. Regina held the kiss for a long time and you held her waist. 

You knew everyone’s eyes (and cameras) were on you, but you couldn’t have cared less. You had Regina, and that’s all that mattered. 

When Regina pulled away, she kept eye contact with you for a moment and smiled, assuring you that she kissed you because she wanted to, not just to prove a point. She came back to give you one more quick and gentle kiss before returning her attention to the pathetic man on the ground. 

“Next time you want to say anything derogatory to my baby here, you better be fucking prepared to say it to me, too, Shane. And I don’t think I need to spell out the absolute shithole you will find yourself in if you do that.” 

Shane stared at her with wide, terrified, eyes.

“Now get the fuck out of my sight.” Regina added. 

Shane scrambled to his feet and sprinted out of the cafeteria as Regina took her seat next to you with closed eyes and exhaled a breath through her nose to calm herself.

You leaned your head on her shoulder and whispered, “thank you, Gina.”

She turned her head and kissed your temple, “of course, baby.”

[charliemwrites]

It’s been a minute - the last two weeks have been mind bogglingly stupid. But hopefully things are settling now? Idk anyway - consider this something to tide yall over until I can put out the Price/Reader/Simon fic

I am thinking about that threshold of dating when you get past all the prettiness. Like, when being human just becomes part of the relationship. It stops being carefully picked outfits, styled hair, nice perfume/cologne, careful bites of food.

I’m talking about the intimacy of stupid, stupid shit. I’m talking about the first time Krueger calls your name and you reply in a little gremlin voice “wHaT”.

I’m talking about Simon bringing home a treat for you and you do a weird little run, arms swinging and knees coming up too high, to get it from him.

Kyle staring in a mix of horror and fond exasperation as you quote, word for word and perfect intonation, your favorite bit from a YouTube video or tv show or comedy special.

Baffling Nikto by having a stupid ongoing bit that he doesn’t understand and you refuse to explain. Something like, “and I’m gonna eat your captain, of course”. What does that mean? You’re going to eat him?? “Yeah, with salt and butter. Nom nom.”

You pull that bit where you do shitty cosplays of characters. Johnny nearly pissed himself when you wandered into the kitchen covered in green paint with construction paper ears, mumbling in a little old man voice “consume cheez-its, I must, or rip Kenobi a new one, I will.”

Dancing badly, like not even cute badly, just BADLY in the kitchen or while you’re cleaning. It looks almost like you’re having a seizure really. Price is about two seconds from banning that “shake it” song by neon trees

Konig fears “Squirrel Girl” - his pretty little girlfriend disappears to be replaced with this creature that mutters about nesting and acorns and hibernating for winter.

Keegan just about died of embarrassment the first time you pretended his dick was microphone and leaned in close, saying “is this thing on? What’s the deal with airplane food?”

On that note - Gromsko didn’t realize having a pretty little stay at home wife like a traditional marriage meant his dick becomes fair game. She’s grabbin’ him like a handful of candies. When he asks why she points and says “that’s mine by law” and puts a bottle cap on it. “He’s got a hat now”. You make fantastic pies but you also keep asking to hold it while he pees.

You fuss at Velikan to hold still so you can preen in the visor of his helmet. You also put stickers on it and purposefully guilt trip him if he tries to remove it.

Oh and stealing clothes? Oh sure a t-shirt is hot. But their workout shorts? Their underwear or ugly military socks? Sooooo much better than the cute silk set you bought when you first started dating - for you, anyway.

I’m just so here for the weird intimacy of people moving past the aesthetic honeymoon phase of their relationship. Especially when it’s one of the guys who def hasn’t been in a comfortable long term relationship before (like konig or simon).

Same vibes as that time Robert Pattinson invited his stalker out to dinner and she lost interest because he simultaneously so weird but so boring. Not cute weird shit, just weird shit that you would never do in front of anyone else. Stupid, ugly faces and funky voices/impressions and cursed walking/running around.

[icyg4l]

PAC: Your Upcoming Semester

hello beautiful people! alright so… i lied about not posting the other night. my bad!!! but i hope this makes up for it. i’ve been getting ready for school and i am so excited about this new transition. soon, i will make readings available for sale again. i also have an announcement to make regarding readings for sale soon as well! i hope you guys enjoy the reading! without further ado, please choose your pile!

top left-to-bottom right: (1-4)

pile one: mentally, you’re not prepared to be back in school. pile one, i’m not going to lie. it will take you a while to adjust to the new semester. this summer was definitely vacation time. you took the time off to just relax and do you, but it’s time to put in that work now. do you have your things together? are you registered? have you signed up for classes? if not, you need to do so! once you get the hang of this, i feel like the semester will fly by. i feel like some of you will get into arguments unfortunately. it could be over something small but don’t let it blow out of proportion. i heard “the future looks very promising”. you have to learn how to look on the bright side sometimes to avoid losing your mind. it’s best that you spend time learning a new language or skill. it’s also best that you get involved with the earth club if that’s something you’re interested. i thought of the everest college commercial lol (if you know, you know). don’t waste your time focusing on the small stuff. look at the bigger picture, pile one.

cards used: 7 of wands. 4 of swords. 10 of wands. 8 of swords. 3 of wands. the star. 8 of wands.

extra messages: petty arguments. solo. snooze button. cotton ball. coraline (2009). prove it. plea.

pile two: it feels like you are redeeming yourself, pile two. it feels like you failed your last semester or had the bare minimum grades to pass the last go around. but you don’t have to do anything to prove to anyone but yourself at the end of the day. there is a chance that you could be in front of the cameras during the semester. if you are interested in journalism, now is your chance to get involved. if you want to switch your major or join the broadcasting team, then go for it! you have to learn school-life balance. you have struggled with this in the past. know when you can handle something & know when to take your L, which brings me to another thing. this semester, you should know when to ask for help. if you need a tutor or extra help, you know where to find resources. use them! you cannot do everything by yourself. i see some type of celebration happening. if your birthday is in the first semester, happy early birthday! but this could also mean that you are celebrating a hard and long semester. take pride in your accomplishments because no one can take them away from you. maximize their importance! maximize your importance!

cards used: ten of swords. the hermit. 6 of discs. the emperor. 5 of swords. knight of swords. 4 of wands.

extra messages: vintage. playing cards. coolio. parlay. late night studying. destined to be. rewards. partial completion credit. i’ll take it. osmosis jones. snacking problem. cheez-its. love island voter. kiss me by sixpence.

pile three: this pile is for my people who desire to be in the healthcare industry. i think that this semester will fly by. you have always been on top of your game when it comes to school. you knew that you would do well before you even clicked on this reading. however, i think you will be putting more of an effort to get yourself out there. the dating scene will be improving for you to get in. someone will ask you out on a date. it feels like you’ve been waiting for this to happen. do not let this turn of events distract you from what really matters which is your educational endeavors. this is very specific, but if there is someone you date that is well-connected, utilize their connections to your benefit. make sure that you can get something out of all of your contacts. don’t just let people take up space in your life. this is definitely for my college babes, maybe high school seniors too. just be open to fun and don’t carry shame for wanting to have fun! you deserve to have a life too!

cards used: the tower, queen of wands, the high priestess, the empress, 9 of cups, prince of wands, the hermit, the emperor.

extra messages: veterinarian. crest toothpaste. toenail jam. worms. marine biologist. dental work. boogeyman. letting your hair down. toes in the sand.

pile four: you have a lot of stuff on the line, pile four. there will be so many things available to you that weren’t before & it would be a shame if you didn’t take advantage of that. however, you do not want to do anything that would take away from your drive, finances, goals or educational career as a whole. there are lots of temptations coming up for you this semester. some of you could just be entering undergrad, perhaps grad school too. you will have a lot more control of your life than you did before. but with great power comes great responsibilities. your energy is similar to pile three in the sense that fun is on the way. but you have the tendency to overdo it. if you’re sexually active, then you need to not engage in sex too much. if you drink, then do not engage in drinking too much. it will become a distraction, and then eventually a problem. distinguish who is supposed to be in your life and who isn’t. you have a bit of naïveté about you. lastly, if you are asked to do something that sounds like it would be risky to your academic career/your life in general, DO NOT DO IT! it is not worth the irreparable damage. bending your morals will not work in your favor.

cards used: 9 of cups, death, the magician, 10 of swords, the moon.

extra messages: call home. out of bounds. melodrama (2017). record scratch. debrief. gaining pounds. life hacks. selenite. prozac. potty mouth.

[freedomfireflies]

Yours*

Summary: The third part to Mine*

Your mafia boss boyfriend, Harry, is out of town when you need him most.

And Harry is never one to leave you unsatisfied.

So, he calls in his right-hand man to help.

Word Count: 5.9k

*Contains Mature and Explicit content, so please only consume what you feel comfortable with!💞*

“Well, well, well. Look who’s finally home.”

Your cheeks warm as you walk through the door of the apartment, eyes immediately landing on Asher, who sits on the couch.

He’s got a phone cradled between his shoulder and his ear and he wears a teasing smirk as he watches you walk in.

You laugh at his comment, tossing your things onto a nearby chair. “Hi.”

“Hi, sweetheart,” he greets, finger tapping the spiraled cord. “Everything go all right?”

“It did. Paul was very nice.”

“Good,” he replies, seemingly pleased. “Good. Then we’ll keep him on rotation.”

You nod just as Asher looks away, something on the other end of the phone regaining his attention.

He hums and murmurs, “Yeah. Two in front and two behind. And Paul’s been briefed.”

Already bored with the conversation, you make your way for the kitchen to grab a snack, leaving Asher to his phone call. You rustle around in the cupboard for a moment before you catch another comment just behind you:

“She said he was nice,” Asher repeats, and you glance over your shoulder at him. “I don’t know. Sweetheart, are you comfortable with Paul as your driver?”

“Yeah,” you call back. “I think I like him the best, to be honest. He was very…warm.”

Asher’s brow raises. “She said he was warm,” he repeats to the other caller, which you assume is Harry. “How warm?”

This question is directed at you, and you sigh playfully as you assume Harry is giving him the second degree. “Tell him to relax. Warm just means friendly. He doesn’t have a stick up his ass like the other guys.”

Asher’s smirk widens slowly as he says, “She said…she wants you…to relax.”

You can already tell by the amused expression on his face that this is not going over well with Harry. And when Asher tsks his agreement to Harry’s response, you feel a drop in your stomach.

“Mhm,” Asher mumbles, giving you a once over. “I don’t know. She has seemed a little…tense.”

You still in your spot, the box of Cheez-Its slowly dropping to your side. You feel…hot under his scrutinous gaze. Nervous about the discussion happening out of your earshot and even more apprehensive of Harry’s reaction.

“Sweetheart, are you feeling…tense?” Asher asks you now, forcing you to swallow thickly.

“Tense?” you repeat curiously. 

“Yes, tense,” Asher says, leaning into the cushions as he tosses one arm over the back of the sofa. “Anxious. On edge. Perhaps a little…wound up?”

You pretend to think, one shoulder bobbing up in a nonchalant shrug. “I don’t know. Not…not really. Just…excited about Harry coming home.”

Asher seems amused by this, the phone still pressed firmly to his ear as he mumbles a short recap of your response before waiting for Harry’s. “Is that all?”

You shift your weight from one foot to the other. “What do you mean?”

“Is that all that’s been bothering you?”

“I don’t…I don’t know what you mean.”

His eyebrow quirks up. “Are you feeling taken care of?”

You instantly catch on to the implication, but you feign obliviousness, shrugging once more. “Well…yeah. You guys are here twenty-four-seven. I’m never alone and I’m not worried about Sean anymore. I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Slowly and deviously, his head cocks to the side. “Sweetheart, that’s not what I meant. And you know it.”

You simply blink.

Chuckling into the phone, he nods before motioning you forward, instructing you to approach.

Cautiously, you do, feet padding across the apartment and over to the couch as Asher stands and hands you the phone. 

He towers above you, and there’s a certain look in his eye you can’t quite place as he moves around you and gestures for you to sit where he once was.

You do, wrangling the cord out of the way as you get settled while Asher continues to stand. 

“Hello?” you murmur tentatively.

“Hi, mama.”

It’s only been three days since you’ve seen him but hearing Harry’s familiar voice over the phone instantly puts you at ease.

You can’t help the smile that bursts free across your face. “Hi.”

“Missed hearing your voice,” he says, and it’s that rough purr of his that makes your stomach flip. “Miss a lot of things about you.”

Your skin warms as you look down at your lap, acutely aware of the way Asher is staring at you. “I miss you, too.”

“Are you behaving yourself?”

“Mhm. Trying.”

“Are you sure about that?”

You swallow again. “Yeah. Just…waiting for you to come home.”

“Is that right?”

“It is.”

“And have you been taking care of yourself for me while I’m away?”

You shift. “Um…of course. Been doing some yoga in the mornings out on the patio. Did some cooking. Oh, and I started a new book.”

A moment of silence. “Is that all?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you. “Yeah. Yup, that’s…that’s about it. Asher’s been keeping me busy.”

At the mention, Asher’s brow raises.

“Has he?” Harry hums. “And you’ve been behaving for him as well, mama?”

A question posed more like an instruction.

“I have,” you tell him softly. “Promise.”

“Hmm.” Another beat. “He tells me otherwise.”

You feel your skin grow hot. “What?”

“Mhm. Tells me that when he asks you how you are…you lie to him.”

With wide eyes, you look up at the man still looming above you. “No. No, I don’t…I don’t lie to him. I promise.”

“No? Then you’re lying to me?”

Your lips purse shut. “No, I’m not lying to either of you.”

“Funny. Because I asked you if you were taking care of yourself and you said yes,” he says, and you can hear the beginnings of displeasure slipping between each word. “Yet Asher tells me you’re not.”

“He…he does?”

“Mhm. Tells me you’ve been feeling restless. That you’ve been whining to yourself in your sleep. That you’ve been…needy.”

You look back up at the tall man a couple feet away, and even though he can’t hear what’s being said, the look on his face suggests he’s got a pretty good clue.

And while you’re slightly nervous about being…called out in such a way, you know that you wouldn’t want it to be by anybody else.

Harry has always been good at getting what he wants, and even if you’re anxious about his potential reaction, you know that you’re in the best hands.

Both pairs.

“Is that true, mama?” Harry asks, forcing your attention back.

“I…I don’t know.”

He tsks. “Do better.”

“…I guess,” you breathe, pushing yourself back into the sofa cushions almost as if trying to hide. “Just…just been missing you.”

“I know, honey,” he coos. “But what did I tell you about taking care of yourself while I’m gone?”

Your thighs begin to squeeze together, attempting to fight off this feeling now blooming in your stomach. “S’just not the same, Har. Wanted to wait for you.”

“Even after I told you otherwise?”

You squirm. “Thought I’d edge myself a little. At least until you got back. Know you like when I do.”

He hums again. “I do, sugar. But I certainly don’t like when you disobey me.”

“I…wasn’t trying to. Just didn’t think it was that bad.”

“Asher seems to think otherwise.”

There’s a catch in your breath. 

“Said he doesn’t like seeing you in so much pain, mama,” Harry tells you. “Said he doesn’t feel like he’s doing his job as your protector when he has to leave you like this.”

And almost as if knowing what Harry is admitting, you notice Asher begin to smile as he slowly lowers into a crouch in front of you.

“And he really doesn’t like when you go against my direct orders,” Harry murmurs. “And it’s his job to tell me when you do. Isn’t it?”

You nod.

“And I’m good to you, aren’t I? I take care of you? Make sure you’re well looked after and safe? That you never miss me too much?”

“Yes,” you whisper, your voice small.

“Yes,” he agrees. “Which is why you’re making me sad, honey. Don’t like to hear that you’re not behaving for me. That when I leave, you disobey me the first chance you get.”

“Wasn’t…” you attempt to argue but it seems as though you no longer have the ability to speak in coherent sentences.

“No? So, if Asher were to check right now, he wouldn’t find you making a mess of your thighs?”

Your eyes widen as you glance down toward the boy below you.

Asher merely stares right back up at you, his long lashes fluttering as he seems to wait for something.

You aren’t sure what.

 “Answer me, sugar.”

“I don’t…I don’t know,” you admit airily, and Harry hums.

“Then what do you propose I do, hm? Hard to take care of you when I’m so far away.”

Your throat seems to have gone dry.

“Could have you touch yourself for me and talk you through it like we always do,” he muses. “But I think that would be too easy, wouldn’t it? And after the way you’ve behaved, I don’t think it’s fair.”

You feel the way your body has begun to slip into that familiar, needy state of submission. The way his words—his threats—alone are doing more for you than your own hands ever could.

“I think you need to earn my forgiveness, mama,” Harry murmurs. “And I think you need to earn Asher’s, too.”

You could practically melt through the sofa as the idea overwhelms you. Consumes you. Breeds a home in your mind, and your stomach, and your cunt.

You aren’t sure where this side of Harry is coming from but you aren’t about to question it. You know he’d never allow Asher to see you in such a state if he didn’t fully trust him.

And that itself makes you feel safe.

“What do you say, hm?” he continues in your ear, and you grip onto the phone so tight, your knuckles go white. “Gonna let Asher take care of you for me?”

He’s giving you an out. Allowing you to decide what you’re truly comfortable with.

He’s giving you…control.

And it makes your stomach flip.

“Yes,” you whisper. “If that’s what you want.”

He makes a noise that sounds like a mix between adoration and pain. “Oh, my precious girl. Always know how to make Daddy happy, hm?”

The use of the more dominant nickname inspires a soft whine to bleed from the back of your throat. He rarely ever uses that term, and when he does…it’s because he knows you need that extra push.

And since he can’t be here…you figure this is his attempt.

“You do,” he tells you next. “Always make me so happy. Bet you’ll make Asher really happy, too. Can you be good for him, honey? Can you trust that he’ll take care of you for me?”

“Yes,” you say again, growing a bit more desperate as you gaze at the aforementioned man, anxious to know what Harry has in store.

“Good,” Harry says, and you hear a bit of shuffling on his end before he continues. “Want you to do something for me, okay? Want you to keep the phone to your ear. M’gonna be right here the whole time, is that understood? You are not to drop this phone.”

You nod again, forgetting about the way he can’t see, and when he’s met with silence, he seems to assume you’ve agreed.

“All right,” he chuckles. “Want you to give him a little nod for me, okay? Let him know you’re ready.”

Feeling slightly dizzy, you meet Asher’s eye and gingerly begin to move your head up and down.

Catching on to this signal, Asher shoots you a reassuring smile before reaching out to grasp onto your thighs and guide your legs further apart.

You momentarily tense in his touch before feeling how…gentle he is. How relaxed. It does an excellent job of luring you into a state of ease yourself as you allow him to move you the way he wants.

“Want you to do something else for me, mama,” Harry adds, calling your attention back. “I want you…to tell me everything that he does…as he does it.”

You suck in a sharp breath.

“Want you to tell me exactly how he’s touching you,” he says. “Want you to tell me where he’s touching you. Want you to tell me how it feels. What it does to you.”

Your head slowly rolls back against the cushions.

“Is that understood?” Harry mumbles. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” you barely manage to reply, too entranced by the way Asher’s large palms are slowly smoothing up your skin.

“Good girl. Now tell me what you’re wearing. Wanna see you in my head while I listen to you come for him.”

You work in a desperate gasp for air. “My…my sundress.”

“Which one?”

“The blue one. With the flowers.”

He makes a noise of approval that makes your face warm. You know it’s his favorite. “Bet you look so pretty, mama. Bet you look so pretty for him right now. Is he touching you yet? Is he helping you feel relaxed?”

Asher’s attention slowly dances down from your face toward the space between your thighs, and you immediately grow hot under the lustful expression he offers you.

Despite yourself, you begin to squirm under his hold, but he’s quick to tighten his grip and shoot you a look of warning.

“He’s…yes,” you tell Harry. “Yes.”

“Yeah? How’s he touching you, honey?”

Your tongue runs over your bottom lip as you look for the words. “My…he’s…he’s pushing my dress up.”

“Where is it now?”

“Hips. It’s…it’s at my hips.”

The cool air makes you shiver but Asher’s warm touch instantly soothes the chill. He readjusts himself onto his knees and settles between your legs, eyeing your covered cunt with absolute intrigue. 

You almost want to feel shy…but you know he’s seen you in much more intimate positions before.

“Now what’s he doing?”

The long fingers trailing gingerly across the skin of your upper thighs move to your underwear. 

He pauses for only a moment to silently request your permission, and once you’ve nodded, he hooks onto the material and begins dragging it down your body.

You gasp as you squirm upward to make room, and the faint static from the phone reminds you to answer. “He’s…he’s taking my underwear off.”

The fabric is guided to your ankles before it’s easily flicked off and tossed somewhere behind him.

“Are you dripping, mama?”

You don’t have to look to know you are, and you hum your response as Asher pushes your legs back open.

And he looks at you. Looks at the mess you’ve made with a certain reverence that makes your hum turn into a whine.

“Honey, we had a deal. Answer me or he stops.”

“I…I am,” you admit, almost sheepishly. “Yes. Yeah.”

“Bet you look so pretty right now,” he seems to muse to himself. “Are you nice and spread for him?”

Another anxious whimper.

“Yeah? So, how’s he gonna have you, hm? How’s he gonna make it better?”

You look to Asher for the answer, the salacious glint in his eye tells you everything.

He keeps one hand on your hip to make sure the dress stays out of his way while the other moves closer to what you really want.

His thumb gently outstretches for you, tentatively brushing down your clit to ease you into the sensation.

You gasp again, hips attempting to buck up, but he simply tightens his grip and keeps you pressed to the couch.

“He’s…he’s touching me.”

“How, sugar? How’s he touching you?”

“My…he’s…”

For some reason, it feels…wrong to say it out loud and Harry chuckles from his end of the phone as he senses your struggle.

“Is he touching your pretty, little clit, mama?” he says for you. “Is he teasing you?”

You shudder out a sigh as you look down at Asher’s hand. “Yes.”

“How’s it feel, honey?”

“Good…feels good,” you admit softly, and Asher glances up.

“You doing all right, sweetheart?” he murmurs, seeming to want his own verbal confirmation.

You nod quickly, lip between your teeth as he repeats the previous action. “Yes.”

“Do you promise me?”

“Yes. Yes…I promise.”

“Good.”

With that, he switches tactics. He begins running his thumb up and down your already sensitive body, feeling you out, spreading you, making sure to relax you.

You’re growing more and more familiar with his touch and with the ways it’s so drastically different from Harry’s. 

Where Harry is practiced and determined, Asher is teasing and gentle. Harry sometimes goes straight for the kill, not wasting any time in getting you to come for him because it’ll only be the first of many.

But Asher has all the time in the world. And you’re beginning to pick up on a few sadistic tendencies from the way he continues to change patterns and rhythms. Every time you start to feel accustomed to one type of touch, he moves to another. Leaving you to start all over.

“Talk to me, sugar,” Harry reminds you, and the rasp in his voice nearly has your eyes rolling back.

“He’s…it feels good,” you tell him, almost breathless. 

“Yeah? S’it helping your little ache go away?”

“Mhm,” you whimper, chewing on the inside of your cheek as Asher’s head tilts.

He studies your cunt for a moment, looking for just the right way to touch you, and the focused attention makes the muscles in your stomach tense.

There’s something in his expression you can’t read. Like he’s…mesmerized by you. Mesmerized by your body and the way it reacts. Mesmerized by the thought of what he could do to you.

You exhale an apprehensive huff as the seconds tick by. Anxious to have him continue. To have him give you more. 

The soft, languid strokes had been nice but now the coil in your stomach is near painful. And with the way he watches you, the way Harry speaks to you…you aren’t sure how much longer you’re expected to last.

But your writhing catches his attention, and his head snaps up as his eyes meet yours.

“Sweetheart…” he warns.

The living room goes quiet as his unspoken threat lingers in the air.

“What did I tell you about behaving?” Harry reminds you, and you can hear the disappointment slip through the speaker. 

“M’sorry,” you whisper. “Sorry, I just…feels so good. Can’t…hurts.��

Your unintelligible mumbling makes Asher smile, and you can hear Harry laugh under his breath.

“Hurts, does it?” he repeats. “Good. Think you deserve to hurt a little, don’t you? After the way you disobeyed me?”

You whine with this, chest heaving as Asher pushes your dress a bit higher.

“Easy, mama,” he murmurs. “You know better. Promised you’d be good for us, yeah?”

“Yes,” you agree. “Yes, I’m sorry.”

“Good girl,” he coos while Asher uses his other hand to push your left thigh further away. “Why don’t you ask him, hm? Why don’t you ask him if he thinks you deserve to have more?”

With your fingers twitching by your side, you cast your focus down to the man on his knees, expression hopeful.

“Please…please?” you ask quietly. “Can you…I just…need…”

Asher smirks to himself as he scoots closer. “Need more?”

You nod fervently as he hums.

“All right,” he agrees. “Gonna need you to be good and take it though, yeah? Need you to trust me.”

“I do,” you pant. “I do. I trust you.”

The smirk turns into a smile as he suddenly takes hold of your hips and drags you closer to the edge of the sofa.

You gasp a bit from the sudden force, the phone slipping slightly from your ear as you work to steady yourself.

And before you can prepare, before you can tell Harry what’s happened, before you can comprehend anything…you feel him.

Feel everything. Feel his long, rough finger easing through your drip before slipping inside. 

And it’s so different. He’s so different. His fingers are much longer than Harry’s are, and certainly longer than your own. And he can reach spots in that first touch that Harry can’t.

And he knows this. Knows from the look on your face that you weren’t at all prepared but he seems to enjoy that. Seems to appreciate the way he’s caught you off guard. The way you’ve been forced into this pleasure without so much as a beat.

He curls instantly before pulling back. And he begins this slow, steady pace of dragging himself through, working his touch in and out. Coaxing your body to comply, to stretch, to grow wetter in anticipation.

You arch off the couch in response, one hand grasping onto the cushions beneath in an attempt to find your balance.

“Awfully quiet there, mama,” Harry calls, and you sigh as you press the phone harder to your ear.

“Sorry,” you say again, eyelids feeling heavy under the weight of such ecstasy.

“S’okay, honey. Just wanna hear you. Wanna know he’s doing it right.”

“He…he is,” you whisper as Asher’s attention zeroes in on his movements. 

“Yeah? Does it feel good?”

“Yes…feels so good, Har.”

“Good.” Some shuffling. “Tell me what he’s doing.”

Once again, words evade you. It feels crass to describe the actual events taking place and even more uncouth to do it in front of the man touching you.

“He’s…” You swallow thickly and move your eyes to the ceiling. “He’s…touching me.”

“Well, I would hope so,” Harry teases. “How’s he touching you? Need you to paint me a picture, honey.”

You fight the urge to groan. “His…finger.”

“He’s fingering you?”

“…yes.”

“How many?”

“One.”

“Just one? Oh, sugar, you can take more than one, can’t you?”

Your tongue goes numb. “Yes…”

“Yeah? So, ask him.”

A new rush of humiliation washes over you as you’re forced to look back down. 

Asher is already grinning, almost as if anticipating your question before you’ve even had the chance to ask it. “Yes, sweetheart?”

Bracing yourself against the sofa, you say, “Can…can you…can I…more?”

If it were any other time, you’d smack yourself on the forehead.

But right now, Asher merely basks in your bashfulness as he uses his other hand to gently stroke the skin of your thigh. An attempt at soothing you and letting you know you’re okay.

“Want another?” he reiterates, and you nod again. “Think you can take more?”

“Yes…yes, I can.”

“How much more, hm? Just one?”

To follow this proposition, he brings a second finger into play, slowly dancing it in beside the first as you still.

And it’s so good. So much better than before and a needy noise breaks free from your mouth as you feel it.

Asher watches your reaction closely, clearly amused with your excitement. 

Then, after a few enthralling thrusts to settle you into the rhythm, he says, “How about two?”

A third finger is added, nestling in next to the others, and forcing you to accommodate for a larger stretch. 

You gasp desperately at the fullness, reveling in such a euphoric burn. And perhaps you’d be worried it’s too much, but he doesn’t allow you such a luxury.

He instantly gets to work on providing you with that familiar pleasure as he begins pumping into you at a faster pace.

It makes your head spin how quickly you begin to feel overwhelmed. How fucking nice it feels. He hits every spot he needs to hit, over and over and over. He knows when to curl, when to slow, when to still himself inside of you. When to tease, when to pursue, when to relax. 

And then, he moves his other hand to your clit.

“Are you taking him?” Harry murmurs. “Taking him like the good girl I know you are?”

You nod mutely.

“Know you are. Know you’re being so good for me. Wish I could see you, mama. Wish I could see you come undone for him.”

And you wish he could, too. Want more than anything to have Harry here, in person, as Asher does this.

Not because you feel you need someone else with you but because you know the look on Harry’s face would make everything ten times better.

And you don’t doubt that Asher wouldn’t mind showing off for his boss, too.

“Want you to say my name, darling,” Harry requests next. “While he makes you come, I want you to say my fucking name. Do you hear me? Not his, not anybody else’s. Just mine. Want you to tell me you’re mine.”

You moan your agreement as your head drops back, fingers curling around the handle of the phone until it almost stings.

You’re so close. So fucking close to finding that sweet release and Asher is determined to make sure you find it. To make you feel it, make you feel everything.

And you do. You do feel everything. 

But more importantly…you feel him.

“Harry,” you breathe through a whine, desperately pleading with him for something only Asher can give you. “Please…”

“I know, mama. I know,” he replies. “M’right here. Gonna feel so much better.”

The pressure against your clit increases as Asher strokes his thumb in calculated patterns. 

And just when it’s beginning to rise up at that peak…he suddenly stops.

Stops, pulls out, and leaves you untouched and unsatisfied.

You choke on a dejected wail as he leans back and begins taking off his nice jacket, popping the buttons free one by one.

You sit there, nerves tingling and body buzzing, as he slips the material down his arms and tosses it onto the sofa beside you.

And that’s when you see it.

His gun.

Sitting snugly inside the holster strapped to his chest, the black straps draping down his white dress shirt and effortlessly calling attention to the dangerous weapon.

Your breath hitches when you see it, but he doesn’t seem to notice as he begins rolling the sleeves to his elbows.

But you notice. Of course you notice. You always notice guns now, despite how normalized they’ve become in your life.

It’s not strange that he would be wearing it. In fact, you don’t think you’ve ever seen him without a gun on his person. Same for Harry. 

But while you are a little shocked…you’re also…enamored?

Truthfully, you aren’t sure what you feel as he situates himself and moves back between your thighs.

Then…his eyes trail up.

He takes in your distracted state, studying you momentarily before realizing where you attention lies.

He looks down as well, glancing over his gun as he begins to piece together your reaction.

Rather amused, he throws you a smug smile, and reaches for the weapon, pulling it free from its holder.

With that, he offers it to you.

“Wanna hold it for me?” he asks softly, and your eyebrows raise.

You hesitate, eyeing the gun with suspicion and intrigue.

“Hold it for me,” he repeats, and it’s no longer a question but an order. “Right here, on your thigh.”

He pats your leg to accompany his request, letting you know exactly where he’d like it placed, and you take a deep breath.

Cautiously, you release your grip on the couch so you can take hold of the object being handed to you.

It’s heavy. Slightly warm from being pressed against his body and hidden beneath his coat. Slim. Molding to your hand as if it were made for it.

Working to be as gentle as you can, you place it onto your thigh, taking a moment to get used to the feel.

The barrel is pointed toward the other side of the room, away from either of you, but Asher doesn’t like this.

Instead, he spins it around until the barrel is pointed directly at him.

Your heart begins to race.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers, taking hold of your other leg to give it a reassuring squeeze. “S’just a little more fun this way, hm?”

And maybe it is to him but you don’t argue as he brings his soaked fingers back to your equally soaked cunt.

“Did Asher give you his gun, mama?” Harry asks in your ear, and you’re reminded again that he’s not actually here.

“Yes,” you tell him, the urge to see him a little stronger now.

“Yeah? Like having that kind of power, don’t you?”

You consider this for a moment as Asher eases those three fingers back inside of you, instantly pulling you back up that mountain. 

“Yes,” you gasp, hips bucking up as the gun teeters on your leg. “Fuck, yes.”

“Knew you did,” he hums, almost appreciatively. “My dirty fucking girl. Wanted to be punished, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” you whimper again, both in response to his question and to what Asher’s doing to you.

“All weekend, just pushed my buttons, didn’t you? Wanted to see how far I’d let you go?”

You curse between gritted teeth.

“Knew I couldn’t make it better. But you didn’t want me to, did you? Wanted it to be Asher. Wanted him to know how badly you missed me, hm?”

“Harry,” you whine, attention devoted to the man between your legs as he mimics his previous rhythm. Curl, press, pinch, thrust. “Please…”

“What, honey? What do you need?”

“You,” you say, without hesitation, although you aren’t sure which one of them you’re really talking to. “You, please…”

“Yeah? What do you need me to do?”

“Let me,” you whisper, chest rising and falling with labored breaths the closer you get. “Let me come, Har, please…”

“Should I? Should I let you? Do you think you deserve it?”

“Want to. Want to deserve it.”

“Oh, sugar. Daddy wants you to come, too. Want to hear you come for me.”

You rotate between gasping and panting and moaning and pleading for something—anything—as Asher works you closer.

He smirks to himself and leans in, lips tentatively pressing to your inner thigh as if to taunt you with his mouth. With what could have been.

You wouldn’t mind feeling his tongue but the fact that he hasn’t used it suggests Harry explicitly told him not to.

And you aren’t about to complain about what you are being given because the kiss alone does wonders for you.

“Harry,” you whimper again, so close you can taste it.

“That’s right,” he says. “M’right here. You’re mine, aren’t you? Say it.”

You groan as you feel the end approach. As you feel the beginnings of release. “Yours…I’m yours.”

“Always,” Harry growls, and the animalistic reply goes straight to your cunt. “Fucking always. Say it again.”

“Yours,” you repeat. “Always yours. Just yours. Fuck—”

“You gonna come for me?”

“Yes…yes. M’so close—”

“Yeah? Then do it. Right now, mama. Be good for us and come.”

You aren’t sure how he manages to command you in such a way. How he can tell you when to come and you immediately do it.

But you do. You come for him. For both of them, the orgasm ripping through each muscle and fiber of your being as you mewl Harry’s name and relax into Asher’s hold.

It’s everything. Hard, and heavy, and endless. You lose track of time, of consciousness, of understanding as it rolls over you.

And just before you can come down, you hear Harry’s next demand:

“Again.”

Confused, and slightly off-kilter, you pant, “What?”

“Ask him to make you come again,” Harry repeats. “Beg him to overstimulate you. Beg him to make it hurt. Make you cry until you just can’t take it anymore.”

The premise throws you, your already sensitive core throbbing as Asher’s ministrations begin to slow.

“Harry…” you plead but he tsks.

“Again.”

Swallowing a rather bratty groan, you meet Asher’s eye. “Don’t…don’t stop. Please, I…just…can’t…”

You’re already so frustrated with yourself, you might start crying, but sweet Asher only grins.

“Want another, sweetheart?” he coos, pressing his thumb into your swollen clit. “Want one more?”

You nod quickly, thankful for his understanding, and he smirks to himself before getting to work.

This one doesn’t take nearly as much time or effort. You’re too pent up and aroused. Each touch or brush or twist of his fingers inside of your pussy makes you jolt. Makes you writhe and squirm and cry out.

The gun slips from your thigh with all the jostling but you don’t mind. You don’t even have the time to feel nervous as the next one approaches, dragging you by your ankles to the finish line.

“Good,” Asher hums, and the easy praise makes your skin grow hot. “So good, sweetheart. Know you can do it. That’s it, give it to me.”

“You heard him,” Harry adds. “Fucking give it to him, mama.”

The instruction from both men shoves you into the second, and you could argue a third slips in right after.

Because the knowledge of what they do to you is what truly makes it. The knowledge that these men can ask you to do anything they want and you’ll do it. That they’ve got you. They protect you. They live to keep you safe and make you happy.

They live…for this.

As promised, Harry’s name is painted across your tongue as it happens. And Asher remains between your legs through every moment, all the way until the end. Until you’ve finally relaxed once more and caught your breath.

With muscles like jelly, the phone begins to slip, and you struggle to keep Harry in your ear.

But Asher rushes to help, straightening up from his knees to take your other hand, and press a kiss to your palm.

“That’s it,” he coaxes. “You’re all right. Just breathe for me, yeah? Did so good, sweetheart.”

You merely nod along, unable to truly understand what he’s saying to you, and this makes him chuckle.

Then, he takes hold of your other wrist and guides the phone back up, holding it there so you can talk without having to use your own strength.

“Still with me, honey?” Harry asks, and you hum. “Did so good for me. Always want to take care of my girl even when I’m gone. Do you understand that?”

“Yes,” you whisper.

“Don’t like leaving you. Don’t like knowing you miss me. Hurts me just as much as it hurts you.”

“I know…”

“Good. And you trust that I’ll always come back to you, yeah? Trust that I’d never put you in danger.”

“Yes….”

“And you feel safe with him, yeah? Does he make you feel safe, mama?”

Your lashes flutter as you look up at the tall man hovering above you. “Yes.”

“Good. ’Cause you are, honey. Always safe with us. We’ll do anything for you. And we’ll always be here to take care of you. In any way you need.”

“….I know.”

“Okay. Then I don’t ever want to hear that you’ve disobeyed me again,” he finishes. “Do I make myself clear?”

“Mhm.”

“Attagirl,” he chuckles. “Now…Asher’s gonna take you to the bath. Want you to clean yourself up and relax for me, all right? I’ll be home tomorrow.”

“Promise?” you murmur hopefully.

“I fucking promise. Be good for him until I get home, yeah?”

Asher smiles.

“I will,” you agree, cheeks warming under his kind gaze. “Promise.”

“Good.”

You grin.

“’Cause we’ve got quite a bit to discuss when I get home.”

Next Part:

~ Theirs* (Pt. 4)

Previous Part:

~ Ours* (Pt. 2)

~ Full Mine Masterlist

~ Other Harry Blurbs

~ Full Masterlist

[dira333]

AOOOOOOOOmine Daiki please (howled like a wolf)

"Best day of your life?" Kise asks, grinning from one ear to the other. You know he wants to talk about his latest photo shoot so bad.

"When I was introduced to the concept of naptime," you announce, yawning.

"I thought it was the day Momoi introduced us," Daiki grumbles, pushing one finger into your cheek just to annoy you.

"Eh, you get second best," you tell him before turning quickly to snatch the last cheeze-it from Murasakibara's bag of snacks.

The giant stares down at you with barely concealed rage.

"Cheese is mine," you point out as politely as possible. "You know that."

"I'm gonna crush your head."

"Not the head," Daiki yawns, pulling you in by the shoulders, "you can crush her feet."

"Thank you, I always knew you loved me," you tell him, can't help but snort when he presses a wet kiss to your temple.

"You guys are so boring," Kise cuts in with a pout, "we were talking about the best days of our life. Murasakibara, what's yours?"

"I'm hungry," Murasakibara declares, getting up. "I'm getting more snacks."

"I'm coming with," Kise huffs, "maybe there are some cute girls I can talk to."

You ignore them, turning a little in the soft grass until you rest comfortably. Daiki's already snoring softly into your ear and you pinch his hip as punishment.

"What?" He asks, clearly not asleep yet.

"Quit snoring."

"Quit talking."

"I-" He interrupts you by pressing his mouth against yours, grinning into the kiss. You wanted to fight a bit longer, really, but there's just something in it, his warm hands cupped around your face, his warm body curled around you like the worlds laziest panther, that drains the fight out of you.

Eventually, he pulls back, all but purring as you move to kiss him again.

"Nap time?" He asks and you snuggle your head against his shoulder.

"Already ahead of you."

[vinnigami]

Is Aogami going to put that protagonfish in his house?

Aogami ate him. sorry

[nushkiespeaks]

I never knew romanticizing DEPRESSION and being SUICIDAL can be considered cool, because-

LOWKEY PEOPLE PORTRAY ARJUN AS DEPRESSED AND SUICIDAL AND TAG IT AS HUMOR!

I don't know how did everyone arrive to this conclusion that Arjun suffers from depression, questioning self-worth and lowkey suicidal. 

Tell me honestly, did you ever think this man, who bows down in front of Krishna during Geeta gyaan with a charismatic presence, ever to be suicidal?!

No right?

Basically that was our childhood, and as we grew up, we stopped reading and BELIEVING the texts :)

Either we go with the flow of what others say, or just skim through the texts without understanding anything, or just cherry pick verses that suite their narratives. 

Well, that has resulted into a characterization of Arjun who is like, suffering from mental health problems and so on-

If someone has read the entire Mahabharat, he knows that Arjun is not the way he is thought to be; specially HE IS NOT DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL anywhere! 

Arjun was anything but pretentious of his FEELINGS and it is clearly visible once you read the texts carefully! 

I don't know why you guys tend to confuse moral retainment with depression, O God!

Just because Arjun analyzed before reacting, or took time to analyze what would've happened, you tend to call him depressed, like really?

In fact, he was the one who was the most stable Pandav after the Dyut incident! He is the one who consoles Bheem and Yudhishthir mostly! Tell me, if a person is suicidal, can he do that? NEVER!

Now some intellectuals will come and bark how Arjun used to hide his depression and pretend he was okay....

*laughs like a hyena* Guys, if Arjun had 'pretended' to be okay, then you wouldn't have that huge Geeta gyaan popping up in Mahabharat where Arjun literally pours himself out like a tsunami in front of Krishna. And this man 'pretended' to be okay....*smh*.

And if Arjun was genuinely depressed, he wouldn't have been able to shoot such intellectual questions to Krishna during Geeta, nor absorb it with his full potential! Removing doubts from mind is not same as DEPRESSION guys! 

This guy does penance for years, handles Bheem during Dyut rightfully, is the one who instilled faith among his brothers after Dyut, does penance again for five years, stays in HEAVEN and kills Nivatakavachas, stays one year as Brihannala and fights Kauravas single-handedly, mind it and also steals clothes for Uttaraa---and the audacity to label such a lively guy as DEPRESSED.

This guy has a friend circle dude, friend circle! He relaxes, sipping a bit of wine and gossips with Krishna casually and laughing! 

You call this guy depressed?

He ventures out in picnics the most! Takes his wives, also accompanies Krishna for his marriages, and you call this guy depressed? 

DO you guys even know what DEPRESSION is?

 Ki kahi bhi aise hi use kiye jaarhe ho bas 'cool' banne keliye?

Show me one stance where Arjun suffers from acute depression like you guys portray him?

Ab banda apne family members ke marne ke baad roye bhi nahi? Wo bhi isliye ro rha kyuki wo DEPRESSION me hai?

Thora dimaag lagaya karo yaar! Har cheez depression nahi hota!

If someone gets hurt and starts crying, imagine a five year old child crying after falling down, he is depressed?

Peeps literally pick up a few stances from the war part of Mahabharat where Arjun is crying over Bheeshm, Abhimanyu etc, and show him to be DEPRESSED, SUICIDAL and what not!

So what is he supposed to do, laugh? Celebrate, o wow my family members are getting killed? Behen ke pakoro, wo AISA karta na, tab hota wo actual me DEPRESSED!

HE REACTS LIKE HOW A HUMAN IS SUPPOSED TO REACT GUYS!

You think one can perform years of penance after being depressed? Really? Do you guys know how much mental power is required to do penances, get such powerful astras, our boi even fought with Mahadev guys! HE LITERALLY SPENDS TIME IN HEAVEN! Do you think Indra is going to allow someone who is mentally depressed and suicidal in his abode? Is he then qualified enough to go to the heavens and simultaneously learn weapons, dancing and singing?

THE MENTAL POWER REQUIRED TO DO SO, CAN YOU GUYS IMAGINE?!

And you tend to call this guy SUICIDAL.....*rubs my temple* 

Sach sach batao, aur koi mila nahi tha kya? 🤣🤣🤣🤣Seriously guys, Arjun ko depressed? 

Ek minute ke liye mai Yudhishthir ka maan lu ki self guilt and all, lekin tumlog Arjun ko hi.... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Behen, Bhagwan Nar jis din depression me ajaega na, usdin tumhari aur humari existence bhi khatam hojani hai usidin.😂😂😂😂

To ye TV serial aur Fictions se Arjun ka character analysis karna bandh karo, aur thora BORI padhlo 😂.

Aur please, Google se Depression aur Suicidal hone ka meaning bhi check karlena....ya ye bhi mujhe hi batana padega?

Don't try to be cool, for you guys appear to be like a fool.

[annievrse]

boyfriend!eren headcanons pt. 3 *･｡ﾟ

—ᡣ𐭩 headcanons a/n: going insane, so i wrote more bf!eren while in a waiting room. because of this, they are a little more......... unhinged part 1 part 2 part 4

bf!eren's post-game meal is 3 big macs and 2 mcchickens AND a kids nugget meal (he wants to give you the toy that comes with it because he’s cute) but don’t forget dessert!! he sips his *diet* coke as a palate cleanser and then inhales an apple pie

bf!eren will help old people cross the road/down stairs. he is just that type of guy

bf!eren gets a job coaching a kids' basketball team, and that is a canon event

bf!eren carries your belongings in his sweatpants pockets when you’re out together (e.g. your keys, lipbalm/lipgloss, water bottle etc etc you name it, it’s probably in his pockets)

bf!eren’s phone is very simple—a black iphone 14 with a plain black case, but despite it not even being visible, he keeps a photo of you in the back of his phone (so you’re always with him even when he can’t see you)

bf!eren accompanies you to all your appointments (even if he doesn’t have to) but waits in the waiting room (spoiler: he falls asleep most of the time, kinda embarrassing eren pls wake up)

bf!eren gets you a keychain for your birthday to match his own (i fully 103% believe it would be the lego ones (he would get himself batman, and get you spiderman))

bf!eren leaves his dirty ass bigfoot black vans at your front door (a tripping hazard!!), but it feels so domestic and homey that you can’t bring yourself to scold him for leaving them there

bf!eren watches family guy religiously

when bf!eren gets baby fever, he gets it BAD

but bf!eren cannot be trusted with indoor plants 😐 so (please see part 2 for more evidence (cheez-it incident))

bf!eren buys annie's mac and cheese in bulk (read: he is a manchild who loves cheesy pasta 😋)

bf!eren has an emotional support water bottle (a 1-gallon dark green yeti his mum bought him as a college essential). he does not leave that thing anywhere (carla would castrate him :))

bf!eren owns one (1) pen, so he's constantly stealing yours when he has class and tucks it behind his ear so he doesn't forget to give it back to you (warning he does gnaw on the end like a starved dog)

bf!eren showers twice a day even though i make him sound like he does only once a week :) (and the showers are LONG rip water bill)

bf!eren has a spare charger that is for you only at his apartment <3

bf!eren facetimes you from everywhere (like gross bathroom eren wtf i don't want to hear bathroom sounds, and he just :) but i missed u........)

bf!eren kisses you on the cheeks every chance he gets (big sloppy wet kisses that are so (screaming) so cute and loving and i need him)

bf!eren's hands are rough and warm and dry (not like dry, but like man hand working hands dry you know or am i just talking shit)

bf!eren has his own pillow on your bed that he brought from home

bf!eren has half of his belongings in your room, and yours in his (literally just move in together at this point :/ come on guys)

ok ok bf!eren in those prada sunglasses you know the ones. i know i said in part 2 that he has dad speed sunnies, but those prada ones are so ASDFKJHG

bf!eren makes sure you take your meds (if you have them) every morning/night and calls you if he's not with you to ensure you've taken them (he cares!!!! he's not trying to be overbearing or condescending, i promise)

bf!eren has a nintendo switch so he can play his silly little games when he's waiting for you at your apartment to come home from class (his phone and youtube videos get boring after a while (part 1), and studying is not an option so)

i was in that waiting room for a WHILE ok

[sopiao]

No idea if this is just me and my type or anything. but i 100% believe that König’s is not toned or entirely muscular. he’s a lil chubby, has that middle ground of dad and greek god bod.

You can tell he’s strong just by looking at him, muscles showing through and protruding out more when he flexes.

ramble :3

I am religiously devoted to the idea that he’s thick, and I mean thick. The muscular thighs, round tummy, biceps the size of your head, and an ASS. No plastic surgeon can recreate that ass.

Yes, I know that it is not canonically true. Let me dream.

I like to think that he was usually very insecure about this, his physique. He’d cut very often at the gym but he always somehow gains it all back. It was sorta obvious when you two started dating.

But ever since you two moved in together and you started cooking meals you found yummy on social media, started feeding him like a loving grandmother. Always insisting that he hasn’t eaten enough and adding more onto his plate, to which he happily accepts.

He’s always happy to taste test your little samples or treats. After a while of this going on, he’s more open about his body and looks around you.

(Side track: He loves it when you pack him a lunch, loves it when you put together a meal in a little metal lunchbox and a drink in a matching thermos. Every day he’d show it off to the rest of the KorTac members, proudly displaying his gummy bears and cheez-its in a zip-lock bag.)

You’d try to boost his confidence and make him more comfortable in his own skin by hyping him up. Whenever you link arms with him or hold onto his arm you squeeze his bicep and go “Ohh, looks like I got me a strong man”.

Or when you’re bringing things down from shopping or groceries you’d say: “I need my big, strong, guy for help”

Or just general silly lil compliments or comments.

Some mornings he’d be in the living room with just pajama bottoms, chest galore all out for you to see.

I actually love the idea of him having little love handles or a lil muffin top. Something you should totally expect the first time he does this. Cuddling with König would be nirvana. Big, muscly arms wrapped around your waist and shoulders with his barrel chest smothering your face. You can’t breath but telling him mean that it would end :(

Hugging him would the the absolute-fucking-best. Just the little layer of fat on his body will make him a bit extra squishier, a soft pillow for you to squeeze when your feeling stressed. The endorphins and dopamine just releasing through the ridges of your brain. (that’s the best how i can explain it T-T).

Muscly and thick thighs that you use as a pillow sometimes. I feel like you’d even use it as some sort of table when you two eat in the car.

Going back to that absolute dump truck. It’s to be expected that you always give a light tap or squeeze whenever he walks buy. AND as a pillow :3 Like when he’s laying on his stomach on the bed and he’s on his computer, acting like a lil school girl. You always take the opportunity to use that ungodly thick man as a pillow. Maybe sneak a bite.

König with a round face and chubby cheeks. A daily task to pinch and bite on them, always giving a soft squeeze whenever you pass by.

“Are you blushing?”.

“No *sniff* they’re sore from this abuse” .

“Oh”.