#like? sometimes the better story is when things follow through to the natural conclusion

[cinematicnomad]

if that truly was the series finale of ted lasso i’ve got Some Thoughts™ and most of them boil down to: sometimes subverting audience expectations is not the better story move 

[not-that-n]

I think Kotor 2 is a really funny game when it comes to the average analysis of it's themes, because it managed to create such a compelling antagonist that most people just kinda get lost into trying to analyze her words and actions through her apparent philosophical stand when she is just written to be a great hypocrite, something that they almost always fail to mention in the average analysis of Kreya's character.

Like she makes some points, that sometimes helping others without thinking about your actions can hurt them more than you could imagine and says some other things that are almost true but she frames them as a philosophy of might, you shouldn't help others because you are depriving them of their strength, because through suffering there's growth, through struggle you reach enlightenment, through individual freedom you reach apotheosis. She then reaches the conclusion that God, aka the Force, is the biggest chain of all and to be truly free is to kill the force, to reject fate completely.

She acts like she has some sort of moral high ground over the sith and the Jedi when in reality she is not much different. In a way, she does have some beliefs she follows without question, she still uses the force and if you ask her about it she admits the hypocritical nature of her argument, first comparing to a poison and then saying that that's just an argument of an old woman trying to justify it. She always talks about how there are no chains, how you must be completely free of fate because there's no determinate outcome, whatever happens being a result of your strength, yet she still betrays you by the end because there must always be a Darth Treya, there must always be someone that directly betrays the order in it's moment of need. That's fate, that should, and will, always happen.

I always read her admiration for the player originating from our achievement of her goals without becoming hypocrites like she is, something I'm sure she is aware of as hinted by her dialogue in her last fight. The player rejected the force, reject fate, through strenght of will alone, using it more alike a weapon than a dogma, but the player, in a way, still uses the force mostly as a way of unknowingly influence others, their strength is not in self isolation in pursue of the strength of an individual through the death of morals and complete freedom, but instead in connection with others.

In the dark side ending the player becomes Kreya, a hypocrite that acts on their own desires, on their own impulses, because they can, afterall they had the strength to reject the force once so they are strong enough to do whatever. On the light side ending the exile takes the correct path, not following Kreya but transcending her, becoming better than her, understanding that you can overcome the chains of fate not through individual freedom but through connection, in the light side ending you archive what Kreya never could.

I always read Kotor 2 as a story of abuse and trying to grow out of it, in this case Kreya being the abuser, breaking both Scion and Nihilus causing them to become what she hated the most, and the player character being her new target, the exile being able to either follow the narrative's themes and be able to grow despite the abuse or fail and become the abuser themselves, perpetuating the cycle, the chain, that I always read as what the force is supposed to symbolize in this story.

Kreya is a spiteful person that believes that she can not grow, that she can not change and become better, she accepts herself in her own hypocrite nature because of this belief, she understands that through her own argument, one of complete freedom and transcending any chains that bind us, she is a failure like the rest of her students because she follows her own chain, she believes she most perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

That's the reason why I always disagree witht he concept that Kreya steals the show from both Scion and Nihilus because both of them are different outcomes that the exile could have become, both are victims of abuse that thought they couldn't change.

There's this one study I always think about, how kids that came from abusive households were more reluctant to let go of their parents, and Scion reminds me of this, rejecting Kreya at every opportunity but being unable to let go of her, she defined who he became as a person, a failure in both of their eyes. That's why he is so mad when you are going to confront Kreya, he thinks of you as her favorite, as the one that didn't become a failure, as someone who could reject and grow from their abuse when he couldn't. And I always found so interesting that the way you beat him os through words because, well, because you try convincing him that he can change, that he can grow, you beat him not through a fight, through a show of strength, but through showing, arguing, that the abuse he went through is not an unmoving chain, that he has the capabilities of change. And he doesn't believe you, never does, he would rather die than think about that, that admit you are right, he reacts the same way Kreya does, dying rather than admit they were wrong. It feels incredibly tragic that this happens because you know it could end up in another way, you are that other possible outcome.

And Nihilus is a simpler character because most of the content related to him was cut, but I always read him as the complete rejection of Kreya, as doing the exact opposite of whatever she said even when it still ends up hurting him, becoming a shell of what he was once. That said, most of that is just me guessing something that would fit with my reading of the themes and is never actually said in the game, it's kinda hinted but I admit there's not enough information to confidently say that.

Anyways, my point is that I find kotor 2 quite a compelling story and, while I understand why most people only ever discuss Kreya, I feel slightly disappointed that most discussions of the game never really talk about anything else the game presents

[penheadie]

Can we get some Monix headcanons? 👉👈

Oh boy where to start it's kinda embarrassing. I am so glad you asked. I have an entire storyline planned out about them (me and my friend project our ocs onto them all the time. I love the babies.)

They are sadly a doomed from the start couple

In the beginning it was definitely a one-sided love at first sight sort of deal. Mono had a pretty intense puppy love crush on Six from the get-go meanwhile Six at the start did not like him whatsoever and was more focused on surviving begrudgingly becoming his survival partner when she wasn't in the mood to get close to anyone again.

They're kinda both mentally fucked up in the head. Mono has abandonment issues and Six has survivors guilt developed from not being able to save Rain and believing she was the cause of it. They both have their own issues that they need to work out but they try to help each other through their differences.

The first time Mono had caught Six displaying more childlike innocent behavior was when he followed her out to the shoreline where he had witnessed her knack and talent for being smart and crafty, taking broken things and fixing them. He learned about her affiliation towards music boxes when he witnessed her dancing with the ballerina attached to the music box after she had just fixed it in her natural element. Something about seeing her like that made his heart flutter. (Think about that music box scene from the first Tinkerbell movie but with Six)

OKAY! OKAY! WARNING THIS IS MY FAVORITE ONE BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE IT IS GAHHHH! The first time Six tries to sneak a peek at Mono's face while he is asleep is unsuccessful. The first time Six asks Mono about why he hides his face he goes on to explain that the reason he hides his face is because that the entire world sees him as a monster. Without taking it off his head she slips her hand underneath the paper bag to try and feel around for his facial features. After coming to the conclusion that he is normal she squishes his cheek and she responds with “it doesn't feel like a monster here” the one time where Six actually does something cute and wholesome. Either that or the reason how she knows he's not a monster is because monsters don't have hearts, and she can feel his beating in his chest perfectly.

Whenever Mono is feeling insecure or ashamed about his face Six will proceed to drown him in a sea of little pecks and kisses until any lingering doubts about his face are gone. 

Six hunts for Mono and Mono cooks for Six. One time she brought him home a rat with the head decapitated from its body. Because of this he tries to introduce her to cooked foods and how much better they taste compared to raw food, since the only thing she seems to ever be capable of digesting is raw food. So he tries to get her to eat healthy. Six does not hog all of the food; she makes sure Mono can eat plenty too. 

Six gets inspired by Mono so she really wants to try to do good although her attempts are a little misguided. Six sucks really bad at being a good person but she's trying. 

Six is a biter. She chews her fingers and bites her knuckles as a nervous habit or when she is self-harming herself. Whenever Six is like that Mono will instead offer her his own hand, as he'd rather have her take out all of that pain and anguish she is feeling onto him rather than herself. Nobody said it was healthy. 

Mono loves hearing stories about when she was a baby from her older brother RK (or either her adoptive father Roger only the og's will understand this) since he was abandoned at birth he never really got the opportunity to experience what a family really is about and have people in your life who care for you.

Mono has already planned ahead, as he has big plans for the future that involves them getting married and having several children together living happily ever after (He doesn't know where babies come from) Six can sometimes feel a little overwhelmed with his expectations and sometimes feels like he didn't keep her thoughts in mind, asking her what she wanted first and was wondering if she got a say in this. Because as his “future wife” don't you think she should also get a say about whether or not they're going to have future children? Mono's dream of having many kids is meanwhile a nightmare for Six on the contrast. But don't worry when they get older and become adults they compromise about what the other wants.

For as much as Mono and Six love each other and have feelings for each other they struggle with communication as it isn't exactly as healthy as RK and Rain's relationship. They are both just shy and awkward little babies that don't know how to communicate their feelings of what the other wants. Which is one of the things that got them into trouble more times than once was the little miscommunication. Both of them had to keep secrets to keep the other safe in their eyes.

Six snuggles and is such a cuddle bug in her sleep! She cannot sleep without having Mono by her side or something to snuggle up against. It's just not the same without it. She is so tiny when she snuggles up against the lanky boy.

Mono and Six have nightmares on a regular basis as they were pretty common occurrences, Mono having nightmares about future events before they happen about Six abandoning him and Six having nightmares about all of her dead friends haunting her in her dreams and already pre-existing trauma. Whenever the other has nightmares there will be a long process with many stages in which the other will do nothing but hold them close, consoling them and offering them comforting words until they are reassured that there is nobody else here but them in their arms and that they are not at that terrible awful place. 

Six is asexual and Mono is bisexual. And they both willingly accept each other for who they are, as Mono wouldn't care if Six was a boy, or a girl, or a worm he will accept her for whatever she is.  

Now this is self-indulgent but tickle fights are a must between them. Sometimes if the Six is a little down in the dumps Mono will tickle her to try and lighten the mood. It's one of the few ways they can unwind together and have a chance to act like kids again. But Mono better expect Six to get him with some payback.  

Six had faith in Mono, as he used to tell her stories about how he was going to fix the world and bring it back to the way it was before the corruption took over; they were both going to fix the world together. That was the first time Mono ever made Six feel a sense of hope, and to find out that he is the source of the corruption later she sees that as even more of a betrayal and thinks that he lied to her, that is one of the reasons that makes the betrayal all that much more heartbreaking. 

Six realizes she has feelings for Mono around the time that he saves her from the collapsing building seconds right before the Thin Man kidnaps her.

Six is the one to initiate the first kiss. When Six gave him the first kiss she definitely did that thing where she lifted her leg because she is a little too short to be able to kiss Mono without standing on the tips of her toes in order to reach him. It took Mono a full thirty seconds to process what just happened, before quickly soon after Six was trying to resuscitate his useless butt with the defibrillator after she caused him to have a literal heart attack and die on the spot. Instant K.O. 

Just two little kids against the world with nothing more pure and sweet than innocent puppy love.

[pastanest]

if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @rosieathena - thanks so much!! ♡

Spencer Reid x she/her!reader

Play Pretend

- you and Spencer had been together for 6 months when you got offered a job working with the BAU

- at first, you and Spencer discussed how he was going to introduce you to the team, who had no idea he was even in a relationship

- but then you decided that instead you’d put the team at the butt of the joke, rather than Spencer

- not in a cruel way, just for a bit of fun (but also payback cuz sometimes the team do be assholes to Spencer tho)

- so you decided to show up at the BAU in your separate cars at different times, and act like you’d never met before

- and it was hilarious from the moment it started

- you and Spencer obviously got along really well from the get go, and the team noticed right away

- Spencer fully let himself swoon over you in front of the team, and upon forming friendships with the team yourself, you started to do the same

- you both talked to different people on the team, all of them quizzing you about how you felt about the other then relaying that information to the rest of the team

- they were DESPERATE to set you up

- ESPECIALLY Penelope

- she pretty much followed Spencer around listing reasons why he should ask you out

- so on the odd occasion when Spencer offered to drive you home, or you offered to drive him, the entire team would go into cardiac arrest

- because thanks to some careful address re-routing, none of them were aware that you were headed back to the same house

- the team loved forcing you and Spencer into the same room and leaving you by yourselves, JJ and Derek sending you both on coffee requests at the same time so that you’d meet by the machine, the entire team staring through the window and trying to read your lips to figure out what was being said

- over time, you both let more chemistry show between you, spending a little more time together naturally

- and there were, of course, moments that were unintentional. such as, you grabbing Spencer whenever you got scared, or him getting very protective of you whenever you were in danger or talking to a person who was being an asshole to you

- those werent played up, they were part of your love for each other that naturally shone through

- it went so much better than expected

- every time the two of you got home, you would share stories of what Penelope or JJ or Derek had said to one of you that day about something the other had said, or you’d talk about a particular moment they tried to force between you, and you’d laugh to no end

- it was sheer bliss, a mischevious ongoing prank, the greatest secret

- after a while, it started to feel like you were two lovesick teenagers having to hide your relationship from everyone, which added a whole other layer of excitement to everything

- you knew it couldnt go on forever because eventually the team would figure it out, or your relationship would progress to the extent of you wearing an engagement ring when the team didnt even know you’re in a relationship, whichever came first

- it was very sweet while it lasted, it was like reliving the start of your relationship in an entirely different setting and with a very entertaining audience

- but you knew it had to end, so the two of you started discussing how to reveal the truth

- eventually, you came up with a conclusive plan

- you had to wait for the right opportunity, which was kinda infuriating, because once you’d come up with a plan, you wanted to do it, especially with how funny you knew this was going to be

- the opportunity came after the next case

- the team left the jet and filed back into the building, everyone tired and ready to get home

- you and Spencer had been playing things up just a little more that day, sensing it was getting to the endgame, so everyone was watching you a little closer

- you both went over to Spencer’s desk and pretended to be flirtily discussing something very quietly, Spencer leaning to whisper in your ear with confidence he never would’ve had if you werent already in a relationship with him

- in his peripheral vision, Spencer saw Derek hold his arm out in front of the rest of the team, stopping them walking so that they could all see what was happening

- you giggled, mostly at the team and not at Spencer flirting, because he hadnt been flirting, he’d been telling you the existentialist and the lightbulb joke that never failed to make you smile

- nodding at him, you stepped back from him and took his hand, turning to the team

“We’ll be back in a minute, we left something in the storeroom!” You say, a flushed smile on your face, not giving the team anytime to say anything before you both ran off to the store room next to Penelope’s office

- Spencer pushed you up against the wall, which definitely wasnt necessary because the door was closed and the team wouldnt be able to hear that (despite them all being crowded around the door like horny teenagers), he just felt like being a tease

“Ready?” You asked him, and he nodded, both of you smiling

- with that, you took your phone out of your pocket and clicked into the tab you’d been waiting to use

- Penelope’s computer beeped, the two of you heard her run into her office

“Umm...guys and girls?” She called, and the footsteps of the rest of the team followed her into the office.

“What’s up babygirl?” Derek asked.

“Well, I know this borders on stalking, but I had this tab open on (Y/N)’s information, mainly her social media files but also her more private information, including her address. Which just changed.” Penelope explained hurriedly.

“(Y/N)’s address has changed? Where does she live now?”

“Not where does she live now, it’s where she has lived since she started working here. Take a look.” Penelope clarified, stepping back from her computer to let everyone else see.

- hearing the events unfold, you and Spencer left the store room, sprinting back towards the glass doors

- the team follow you having heard the door open, and they catch Spencer lifting you up by the waist and pulling you back down into a passionate kiss, before the two of you sprint out of the glass doors laughing hysterically

Derek chuckled and crossed his arms. “Damn, they really got us good.”

[palfriendpatine66]

Making of Monday: endings

Let’s talk endings. I hate them (writing them). More accurately, I hate figuring out endings. I’ll ramble about how I end up doing that below BUT talk to me, dear writers: I’d LOVE to hear the process you go through to reach the endings for your own fics

As a rule, I’m more of a gardener when it comes to writing (aka plant the seeds and let them grow). I usually start with a vibe in one hand and a really clear scene in the other, plus a vague direction in mind, and off I go. I let the story unfold as I write and usually it tells me where it wants to go. I know that’s a big no-no, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ that’s what happens for me. I often don’t know what the ending of the fic will be, or if I do I usually not the details, because the characters haven’t gone through their story yet to experience all the things that make them this version of them. Once they have then they can influence how their story ends. (Am I crazy? Yes, I’m crazy)

Some of my hardest fics to write have been the ones I’ve planned in greater detail. I think I get caught up in the little details of how do we get there and lose the feel of what should follow. Become focused on the destination and miss out on the journey, if you will. (looking at you, Criminal Minds)When I’m more of a fly by the seat of my pants-er it’s all about the journey. The ending (hopefully) is a natural conclusion of all that has come before it. The journey dictates the destination? Something like that…

But the other problem I have, and it’s a big one, is committing to an ending. It just feels so…constraining maybe? After the freedom to take each chapter where it wants to lead sometimes it’s restrictive to narrow down the ending and commit to the path that leads to it. But obviously it has to happen at some point.

While writing my obikin titanic au I had an detailed outline of the voyage and the events of each day, followed by a list of five possible endings. I quickly narrowed it down to four. When I couldn’t decide which way to go I started writing. I figured I would write the events that I knew for sure would happen, starting with the boarding the ship, and see what felt right when I got to the sinking.

When I’d written that much, the fic was finally about 80% complete and I had a much better sense of the story and the versions of Anakin and Obi-Wan I’d created. It was easy to decide on the ending I used at that point. I crafted the prologue that went along with it and began posting, filling in the gaps and writing exactly how I wanted the sinking to go in between updating each week.

Here’s a look at all the ways it could have gone (I definitely think the ending I went with was the right one!) 😉

[blossomingtininess]

evidence gathered! now, friendos, allow me to introduce my semi-embarrassed writing of the following topic:

"rock paper scissors, to me somehow has very agere coded protagonists and i'm asking you to hear me out - coming from a person who's only ever seen one person in the main tag agere posting"

don't mind paper. he's a bit awkward about it

(mentioned episodes i got info from came from a google drive! i'm happy to dm the link for anyone interested, anxious abt posting it out in public very sorry)

anywho, let me begin

Getting basics out of the way:

- The show's about the aforementioned protagonists (Rock, Paper + Scissors) who're all roommates also i think they're in a poly relationship but that's another story

- They get up to whatever chaos they can, and things always seem to take a chaotic twist. Be that through overconfidence or insecurities

- All in all it's a fun time, even if some stuff could be seen as flaws to other people

now let's get into the fun stuff! why i think they're all small

EXHIBIT A: ROCK

- He actively calls himself whimsical ("I wanted a hot air balloon because I'm whimsical!" or smth close to that)

- Described often as "like a child" - friendly fellow, naive at times. They say that and I hear "regressor who's comfortable enough with his peers to regress openly"

- ⬆️ Related-ish, often seen going off on his own adventures and having his own form of fun (not that he isn't keen on his friends' view of fun)

- Described as a mediator who can understand who his roommates are deep down and explain why they're doing stuff that they do. very experienced in the smallness business

- All in all very small fellow! Wants to have fun and have his friends get along even if his emotions get a bit outta control sometimes

EXHIBIT B: PAPER

- BUDDY. HE'S SMALL.

- He really wants to be smart (since his family is apparently all high-achieving) but struggles with it. such stress calls for smallness methinks!

- He gets frustrated a lot, see the above point

- Does at least seemingly relax and have some form of downtime with his pals when he's not all stressed out

- absolutely a "small when stressed / tired" guy. trust me on this

- THIS WHOLE SCENE IN THE WEEKEND STORY (+ the buildup)

- I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S ➡️➡️➡️⬆️ A SMALL GUY i mean they both are but stilll

- I think he mentioned in some episode that he got bullied when he was younger?

- Overall Paper is a guy who's doing his best but it's hard and he just gets stressed out and angry and it boils over into smallness

EXHIBIT C: SCISSORS

- canonical dad issues and it makes sense he might want to have another chance of a childhood. poor lad

- always tries to be cool but is just pretty insecure deep down even when Rock + Paper have their own "things". like paper, such stress calls for smallness

- Seems like a little who's proud and chaotic at his core, but he shuts down quick if he thinks he's messed up even a bit. fortunately his roommates are far better father figures than what his likely was

- also probably the last to willingly admit his own smallness? I imagine Rock admitted it naturally which then prompted Paper to accidentally slip a few days afterwards (making him open up), and then Scissors finally decided to be open too when it clicked that his pals would get it

- I'm sorry i have less points for him

In conclusion! Small roommates. my god i feel so embarrassed writing this but i'm willing to let people hear me out on this if they wish

also if that one person i mentioned at the start sees this uh hello! you aren't alone friend

anyways have a good dayy

[dirtbra1n]

need psychic beams to be real because sometimes I’ll go on tangents about the hanzawa to tashiro scene in my head that is THAT scene and it’s like. I don’t remember if I’ve put enough information out there for anyone to know what I’m talking about. but anyway going to basically copy paste this other tangent Re: the themes that come full circle and also following through on the Getting good at loving someone. THAT scene. the first crime scene for tashiro to witness. eyes open and manic. that scene. masato says SO many things and they’re all SO revealing and they all clearly point in big bright red neon signs to masato’s ugly beating heart and there’s just no way that tashiro doesn’t understand (he sees things as they are) what he’s seeing and hearing and feeling but the ONE thing that masato DOESN’T say is “I like you.” he manages to skirt around that number one problem phrase by the skin of his teeth. so masato finishes his ace attorney breakdown and splats cartoonishly at rock bottom, and tashiro goes home with a lot to think about. like he’s gathered that hanzawa senpai likes him, eventually, when he toes his shoes off at the door and is like Wait. and he sits there right next to all the shoes as he debriefs. and he’s getting this big feeling of deja vu, because, like. isn’t this exactly like when he was chosen to be the next club president.

tashiro’s hard to nail down because he’s so simple, and goes with the flow so naturally, but there are things to take hold of. he goes with the flow, but doesn’t want to take on responsibility when he feels someone else would be better with it. he wants a relationship, but isn’t so desperate to force it.

(he and shirahama went to that group date; neither he nor shirahama got a date out of it. shirahama was upset, he wasn’t.)

tashiro goes with the flow, but he doesn’t compromise himself. he is himself, always. but he does want a relationship. it doesn’t consume him, and doesn’t really affect his day-to-day, but it’s true.

and hanzawa senpai said EVERYTHING but that one key phrase.

hanzawa senpai chooses him to be the next president like it’s natural. hanzawa senpai, evidently, likes him, and he seemed kind of angry about it, but tashiro doesn’t think it was any one thing he did that caused it.

anyway, tashiro doesn’t have terrible self esteem, and it wasn’t any sort of deeply seated festering or anything so dramatic, but for just a second, both times, the thought flickered across his brain behind his eyes like, But why me?

and the rest of the story, in tandem with hanzawa masato’s neurotic unraveling, serves to answer this question.

because, as it’s plain to see, masato didn’t choose to fall in love with tashiro when the backlighting seared his image into his mind, but he did choose to fall in love somewhere between here and there, and he even decided that he would be halfway good at it.

so eventually, when masato decides he has to confess plainly, decides he owes tashiro that much at least, eyes open and handsome face even more so, tashiro places his hand over his mouth and says, “I know.” because he does. he does know. how could he ever not know. tashiro sees things as they are, and has seen an awful lot, and all of those things point right at this foregone conclusion. he knows.

masato, possessed, takes hold of tashiro’s hand, wrenches it halfway strugglingly away from his own mouth, and presses it to his cheek. his cheek is on fire. masato is on fire. masato’s eyes are wide open and he’s looking up at tashiro and he’s damn near humiliated but he doesn’t falter and he doesn’t look away and his stomach churns with so much something and tashiro feels it, and brings his other hand to masato’s other cheek, and urgently, gently, pushes masato’s face so that it faces away from him. tashiro himself looks up at the ceiling, wholly out of his depth. masato feels almost sick with relief. “hanzawa senpai,” tashiro starts, almost conversationally.

“yeees?” masato replies, grasping desperately for his composure and some semblance of control over himself.

“let’s not do that.”

a vague instruction. he understands completely. “roger that, tashiro-kun.”

[vibingandsimping]

Hiiii! I just wanted to start off by saying congrats on 500 followers!! It’s honestly a huge milestone! And I was hoping for a bg3 matchup! (it's all my mind thinks about ;-;) 

I would love one for my Tav, Blythe - She’s a Tiefling sorcerer! Within the age range of 23 - 28, she had been a Bhaal spawn, but resisted the urges. She/They pronouns, sometimes prefers they more. Blythe loves everyone, even being born with hate in her heart, she preferred the feelings that love gave her. (this being platonic and romantic) Has heterochromia eyes; one hazel and the other a bright blue. Medium length hair - dark black with magenta streaked through it. Keeping her face framed by two small braids, and a high ponytail. Though she loves taking it down, having it played with, she keeps that to herself. (they can be shy about it since they’re supposed to be this ruff, tuff tiefling)  

She loves the feeling of a campfire, finding the crackling comforting. They love listening to their companions' stories, their little tales and learning about who they travel with. Fiddles with their knife/dagger as a distraction, sometimes uses it to pick their nails as a stress reliever. Blythe is more of a quiet soul, but has a fire-like temper when it comes to protecting. She’s fiercely loyal to those who won it, laughs loudly and gets excited about small gestures; learning infernal to talk or gossip to her, giving them a new sword someone found and thought looked cool, small gifts of rings or other jewelry. Sipping on fine wines or other ales and gossiping with others, loves to tease their fellow companions. 

Will not discuss her facial scarring - someone asked about it, and she yelled at them in Infernal and pulled their dagger, then threatening to slice them. Hates the feeling of blood in her hair and hates seeing it on her clothes, but sometimes bask in the feeling of it on her skin (blame the urges), doesn’t like being told she can’t do something, then follows it up with doing it and with anger fueling it. Doesn't care for the taste of blueberries and doesn't like the feeling of scratchy things whether it be clothes, carpets, pillows - can't stand it!

And on a final note, Blythe loves being on the road with their companions - their journey feels less lonely and seen when they’ve grown closer to those around them. Sure, they had a messy past, but what says they can’t have a promising future? 

I hope this is well enough for the match-up! And again, a million congrats on your goal! It’s always an amazing feeling! <3

Thank you, as always. It shockingly is! 500 on other social medias is very little. Tumblr works much differently than I expected. 500 is basically the instagram equivalent to 1,000.

Admittedly, this one stunted me a bit. Though, I believe I have come to a conclusion…

I think Blythe would pair with Rolan!

I think Rolan would appreciate Blythe’s inner spitfire and spirit. He is a passionate person and that’s made evident by his ambitions and behaviors. Someone who can mirror that in a sense is something he admires. I don’t see Rolan being particularly shaken by her nature. It’s troubling but she’s overcome it, yes? As long as there’s progress being made towards bettering herself… he’d stick along. Rolan would come to Blythe on random occasions to show off his new spells (from his conquest of knowledge). Or, if she’s killed Lorrakian and recovered Sorcerous Sundries… he’ll make a show everytime she and her party arrive.

The warmth of the fire danced upon the flesh of her skin. Warming her and easing the chill that settled into her bones. Her head was propped between Rolan’s thighs. The surprisingly plush flesh comforting to rest against. Said man was slowly taking her hair down. Careful to not tear her hair with his sharp nails. A trademark of all tieflings (a show of their cursed demonic nature) which he was no stranger to. He hummed as Blythe picked at her own nails, digging out dirt and blood from the day’s prior battles. They were a ways away from prying eyes and even if they weren’t it seemed everyone had busied themselves. Her hair eventually fell against the top of his thighs and down her shoulders. His fingers running through her hair and trailing her scalp. The girl took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes in satisfaction. There was a bated pause- and she creaked her eyes open again curiously. Rolan had stopped humming before experimentally repeating the motion. The sound escaping her throat was akin to a purr. His chest soon rumbled with an amusement. “Like that, do you?” She flushed and waved her hand dismissively at him. Muttering for him to drop it bashfully. He only sighed contemplatively and continued it. As much as she told him no initially; she was glad he knew the words were empty. Her muscles melted like putty in his grasp as his fingers worked like magic against her scalp. Perhaps he was using actual magic to enhance the sensation? As if she’d complain, honestly.

[fzzr]

Onegai☆Teacher More Than Holds Up

Onegai☆Teacher (Please☆Teacher, and from now on I'm not pasting the ☆) is a 2002 anime about a guy who marries an alien. Yes, another one. Also, she's his teacher. A show like that doesn't seem like something with much to hold up, but when I watched it back in the noughts I gave it an 8/10. I re-watched it recently with the intent to correct the record, to deliberately spoil my memory and see it with adult eyes. Bad news: I like it even better now.

You've heard it before. A 15-year-old guy runs into an alien babe and they need to be married now. In this case, the guy is Kei Kusanagi and the alien babe is his teacher and next-door neighbor, Mizuho Kazami. After a teleporter accident leaves them in a compromising situation, some quick thinking leads to them getting married so they don't get fired and expelled. This is made possible because Kei is legally 18 years old, having spent three years in a state of hibernation caused by a medical condition called "standstill". Despite the "of convenience" nature of the marriage, he still gets kicked out to live with her so that his uncle and aunt can have more "quality time" with each other.

Although all the signs point toward this being a teacher play ecchi show, they don't actually play that up as much as you would think. In fact, right when you think the obstacles to lewdness have been cleared away and it's time for a beach episode, surprise! This show has a plot and there's plot happening and it even happens to characters other than the principal protagonists. The core group of students each have their own things going on, and those things mostly get appropriate screentime and tie into the other relationships.

Without going into the details, the majority of the series takes a quite serious look at balancing your own feelings against others when there's simply no way for everyone to get what they want. The number one problem everyone in Onegai Teacher faces is allowing fear of pain - theirs or others - to pin them in place.

There are still some shenanigans. Urusei Yatsura references are made where appropriate. Sometimes things go wrong for no reason. But important things only go wrong for important reasons. Onegai Teacher manages to weave the shenaniganery of a saucy romcom through an emotional story without the two interfering.

OK but the whole "teacher" thing...

Yes, it's a problem if you're not into that. It actually gets more acute toward the end. The biggest strike against this show is in the title. The thing is, I don't care. It doesn't impede the core themes or messages at all. This isn't a show about a dude and his hot teacher-wife. It's about the things that keep people from being with the people they want to be with, both internal and external. It's about not getting trapped in the past or in your own head, and moving forward even when it means facing or doing things that may be painful.

Conclusion

Score: I can't believe I'm saying this, but Onegai☆Teacher is a 9/10. It doesn't make sense to me either, but I can't deny it. It's funny, it's emotional, it has something to say, and it does it all in 12 episodes. The music is good, the characters are solidly realized and layered, and the plot follows all the rules of good writing (if not good taste).

Recommendation: Out of all the shows I have rated 9/10, this is the second hardest to recommend. (Monogatari is the hardest.) If you can get over the hump of the whole teacher thing (or if you're into it) I think this is worth a watch. I must give content advisories against: underage alcohol use and sex under the influence, suicide, and (in case you missed it somehow) age differences outside the xkcd #314 guidelines.

Comparisons

Tonikaku Kawaii is about a guy who marries an alien. Yes, another one. Also, she's Princess Kaguya. Tonikawa is not about the challenges of building a happy relationship, it's about the rewards. If you just turn in your paperwork that cute girl's hand can be all-you-can-hold. There are challenges, of course - both Tonikawa and Onegai Teacher have a possessive little sister character who objects to the marriage for example - but in Tonikawa it's all about building up a life together and learning to love the other person more and more. Onegai Teacher takes a bolder look at the ways things can and do go wrong, and how you can't back down from those challenges.

I also went back to re-watch Onegai☆Twins, another show in the same setting that shares some characters. That one... did not hold up. The biggest offender was the whole "let's make sure he's not gay" episode, but generally it doesn't have as much to say and pulls three too many bad twist fakeouts. It does still have the same willingness to push the line, it just does it in ways that I don't think are justified. It's also less kind to its characters.

Final Thoughts

Since I started this kick of re-watching old shows last year, this was the first time something I expected to go down in score went so significantly up instead. Maybe I should give more things that I suspect won't hold up another chance. Kaminomi, anyone?

[bibiana112]

Okay something that was stuck on my drafts was just rambling thoughts from when I first finished aini so I'm gonna summarize what I had going on there

Biggest first impression was, surprisingly, just how weird Kizuna was about Mizuki- okay now we get why and I did guess it halfway too that she literally was just like Kizuna's big sis and such but still... Makes sense I got hung up on that, I related to her in a very specific way and this whole situation was so weird to me who does have friends with about the same age difference that I look up to, but the way it develops here it just enables Mizuki to feed into the mindset that she's just not allowed to be a kid anymore because of all the stuff she's gone through but that sucks she's still freaking twelve and all these adults around her don't treat her like it and it's not supposed to be something you question at all like :/

I like the collectables! Silly clothes! I'm glad the dlc ones weren't the only customization, fun unlockable dress-up things are nice and a plus on the experience- the whole gameplay in fact I had a blast with and had no significant complaints to make

The theme of someone needing to be reunited with their "other half" to be "whole" was just never going to be a theme that appeals to me. Everyone being incomplete until meeting someone else is simply not the kind of idea I subscribe to and especially not like romantically, the couples and relationships I have more words on despite being bad at talking through these concepts but one or another it's just not to my tastes so again- was never gonna resonate with a game with that core message all that much is all

Uchikoshi is allergic to sequels, can't embrace a whole new cast nor stick to the original and just follow up on where the last game left off, nope, always a far less satisfying compromise between he two- I wish aini had absolute minimal participation from the old cast, no Mizuki fake out just a flat out new character honestly I would have loved Bibi so much if her story didn't muddle Mizuki's pre established one, stick to an anthology format of new cases or at least keep the dynamics and personalities consistent with the conclusion of the first game I wish Date wasn't annoying I wish he was just Falco chilling out in the background of a random scene where you can interact with him only if you want with no bearing on the case at all hell if you're gonna commit to them still interacting with the story as coworkers have him actually die! Or at least give him and Mizuki an actual reunion!

Entirely up to personal taste again with this one but I miss the slight tinge of horror, the gross gouging out eyes kind of violence because the action flick kind of violence? Bores me to tears. Ryuki got shot and I knew he'd be back- they did a whole all is lost moment actually I think they did that twice with Mizuki nearly losing the battle and getting all beat up and I looked at it and I knew they wanted me to have A Feeling™ over it but it went by so fast, I knew the next beat was her getting back up, none of the lead up to it connected with me enough to make up for the predictable nature of this scene structure, there was very little weight to it and I miss that grim ass feeling that the first game sometimes captured with Saito and the way he operated especially in the paths where he's still in Iris' body by the end and still poses a threat to the cast (this point in my drafts also ended with "man I'm feeling unfulfilled by this piece media I think I'll go finally read Higurashi hopefully that'll make me feel better" and lmao I still haven't and still really want to)

[amiirrullll]

Watching Her Shine, But Not For Me

I still remember that day clearly. The day I finally gathered all my courage to confess my feelings to her,the girl I had liked for so long but never had the nerve to tell. It wasn’t easy, confessing, because I was scared things wouldn’t turn out the way I hoped. But in the end, I did it. After I confessed, she didn’t give me a clear answer. She didn’t say yes, but she didn’t say no either. So, I decided to just follow the flow and let things play out naturally. We started getting closer, talking and hanging out like we always did. Sometimes, I felt like the connection between us was growing stronger. I hoped she was starting to see me as more than just a friend. Days passed, and I became more comfortable around her. Every conversation, every moment we shared, made me feel like we were building something real. I thought maybe, just maybe, she was opening her heart to me too. But then, one day, everything changed. As I was scrolling through social media, I saw her story. There she was, out with another guy. My heart sank, like a heavy weight pressing down on my chest. I tried to stay calm, telling myself not to jump to conclusions. Maybe it was just a friend. But the way they looked together, the closeness between them. It made me feel something else. Maybe I was just a distraction for her, someone to lean on while she found someone else. After that day, things felt different. She stopped replying to my messages as often, and when she did, the conversations were flat, lifeless. I started to realize the painful truth: maybe she had just been using me to pass the time, while her heart belonged somewhere else. I felt hurt, betrayed, and angry, all at once. But I knew I couldn’t let myself get stuck in these feelings. If she really had been using me, then I deserved better. I deserved someone who would truly appreciate me, not someone who kept me as a second option. This was a hard lesson to learn, that not everything we want will be ours. But in that moment, I knew I had to be strong enough to walk away. Let her be with whoever she chooses, because I had my own choice to make,to protect my own heart.

[nothingofvaluewaslost]

STORY: Of Marr the Unbeliever

A short fantasy story, inspired by the mythical stories of Lord Dunsany (in The Gods of Pegana, for example). An agnostic sets out in search for incontrovertible truth.

Of Marr the Unbeliever, by Christina Nordlander

At that time lived Marr, who since his youth had had no reverence for the gods or time for their worship. When he grew to a man he learned not to show it when it would have led to punishment; yet all his friends and loved ones knew.

“Look upon the starry sky,” said Skund, his schoolmaster. “It turns its mosaic above us each night and is far more complex than any tool that men can make – does it not indicate that there is some great intelligence ruling the world?”

“We know nothing of the stars,” Marr replied. “Perhaps it is in their nature to form an eternally recurring pattern, as it is in the nature of grains of sand to fall randomly.”

“Look upon yourself, or our son,” said Milty, his wife. “Are not our souls too singular and beautiful to have arisen from nothing, and must they not expect a better fate than nothing?”

“If only men, of all the beings of the earth, have souls, I do not believe that it is a sign of divine origin,” Marr replied, “any more than the cicada on that stone is a sign of the rule of chance. And what you say of the fate of the soul at the end of this life is only a desire, not a conclusion, for across the dark river none has returned.”

“Beyond the eastern desert stands a carven image that is taller than any tower,” said Balka, the oracle. “So far has no man reached, and it follows that it must have been erected by the gods.”

“That the image exists is no proof that the gods made it,” Marr replied. “If it even is real and not a tale, it is equally likely that men once dwelt there and erected it.”

Yet the oracle’s words stayed with him, and he felt the excitement that would move him to set out, because as little as his interlocutors did he know, and in one way or another, the journey would give him clarity.

So he equipped himself for travelling and turned his course towards the desert, which widens in the east and stretches so far that some say it is the land where the morning sun is born.

The first day he travelled through barren land and thorns. The second day he travelled through a desert of sand that shone soft as gold dust. The third day he remembered nothing of the world around him, for the sun breathed on his head and disordered his senses, so that he saw his shadow grow into something else and dark long shapes wriggle across his track, and sometimes he did not know whether something had stung him, and sometimes he hoped that it had. The fourth day he travelled through a landscape that was terrible, because it resembled nothing more than the skeleton of a world, where weather might never come and all that remained was chemistry.

The fifth day he travelled through a desert of grey dust that here and there retained the shapes of bone fragments, and then he knew that he had reached the parts whence he could no longer return, and that fearing was now bootless. The image was the only thing upright here, so he wandered towards it.

It seemed human of form, but perhaps that was only a function of its height compared to its width. Its head was just an eye. An eagle’s beak jutted out below it, as though a symbol of the sharpness of the gaze. While Marr looked at the image it seemed to him no larger than some nobleman’s colossal statue, and that was when he realised the abyss of distance between them. Then did he take his gaze from it, and saw that before him was no longer a smooth desert of bones, but a depth where the ground turned downward and night rested at the bottom, and down there he saw the stars. There was no longer any doubt about the image’s builders.

As it was, he returned to his homeland, because a caravan found him where he wandered in the desert of sand, so bewildered that they first thought there was little hope of him recovering. However, his health returned, and by the time he saw his native land in the distance, he was his old self again.

In fact more of it had returned than one might have expected. He told those who wished to hear about the statue in the desert, for his travails had not blotted out the memory. A change had taken place in him, but those who knew him had expected a greater one. For the holy days came, and Marr neither sacrificed nor went to the temple, so that his wife and son had to go alone.

“Why?” Milty asked later and put a whole question into the broken word.

And Marr replied:

“Now that I know, I no longer need to pray.”

[thegodwithin]

hi! im kind of new to law of assumption and old to law of attraction. law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused. i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier? i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc. i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof?? i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine? like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results. i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting. i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong?? I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me. I can even dm you, just please help me so I can actually manifest what I want. I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking. I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet. I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want. I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

Hey, so I just want to say that I really understand you. It’s funny how as I read your ask for the first time it really stood out to me how it was reflecting my current state at that moment so thank you for sending it. I will try my best to answer your questions but I'm still figuring this stuff out myself so I'm also just going to recommend some material that should help. I’ll put all the links at the end of the reply.

I have broken up your ask into several different topics and I’ll be addressing each one separately so please bear with me here.

This is the longest reply I've ever written so the rest is under the cut

law of assumption is not a hard concept but im a bit confused.

i think it’s because i don’t know much about what im getting into?? all i know is affirm and persist and etc.

I just feel like if someone told me how it works and exactly what to do, I wouldn’t be so confused and find it hard to persist.

The first and most important thing I want to say to you is that you should really learn from the source material, which as far as I’m concerned here is Neville Goddard. I know there are other teachers like him but he’s the main source most blogs and youtubers make their content from. And frankly a lot of posts on tumblr seem to really simplify and reduce things to the point where you get to this idea that it’s all just affirming and persisting which I really can’t agree with. That’s a conclusion one can reach after learning this stuff, processing it, experimenting with it and realizing what works best for them. But there are certainly other factors involved in the process, whether the person was aware of them or not. This also goes for youtubers and coaches in general. All these people are speaking based on their own experiences with the law. Through the lenses of their own beliefs, limitations, etc. So it’s only natural that they will sound different from each other and their message and style might not resonate with every person in the same way. Which is why you’re not supposed to just accept everything you hear or read at face value. Apply it, experiment with it and make your own conclusions.

like i want to use law of assumption and i want to believe to get what I want fast and easily BUT i want to know how it works and that im not following a delusion to make myself feel better and in the end, I am just left with disappointment and failed attempts at manifesting that left me with the consequences of my actions. ive been in the community for almost 2 years and i don’t think ive ever gotten results.

Most of us come into contact with the law from a negative situation and looking for a quick fix, and what we end up finding is a whole lot more than we ever bargained for. These teachings challenge everything we have ever known and accepted as absolute unchangeable truths in the world. And we are also dared to accept the responsibility that we were the cause of our entire lives?! It’s a lot to take in. You can’t be one foot in and one foot out. You’re trying to manifest something but you’re not seeing results. If you’re looking for results then you weren’t truly committed to living in the end and you haven’t really changed. You must notice the change within first, before the outside world can reflect that. You just give yourself what you want in your mind, and you keep doing it, day in and day out, with complete disregard for what your outer senses are telling you, until it hardens into a fact.

i find myself reacting to the 3D too much and like i find it hard to persist? what do i do to make persisting easier?

Battling with the 3d can certainly be painful and it just turns into a vicious cycle, because the more attention you pay to something, the more it gets perpetuated in your reality and in your experiences. I’ll be honest with you, sometimes I struggle with this as well. If anything, at least remember to prioritize your feelings at every given moment. If you notice that you’re feeling bad / reacting negatively to the 3d, stop and ask yourself: what do I want? or what do I want to feel?

Usually when I do that my mind automatically shows me the answer and then if I can enter the reality (within me, in my mind with my thoughts and feelings) where those things are true, suddenly that circumstance I was just reacting to doesn’t matter anymore. Because I feel fulfilled within now.

Just start allowing yourself to have what you want, no matter what. Practice putting yourself first, before anything else, before the circumstances around you, before what others might say or do. Even if the 3d looks bad right now, you deserve to feel what you want, you don’t have to keep putting yourself down because you haven’t seen an outside change yet. And the truth is that you won’t see a change if you keep watching the 3d and taking score from it. Because it can only change after you do. Because it’s a reflection of you. Allow yourself to feel that relief and satisfaction, in your imagination, everyday. Make it a habit and little by little you will have changed your mindset, entering a new reality.

Everything in your 3d world is an illusion in the sense that it’s not the truth. And this is because everything that you experience with your senses, in your 3d world is a direct reflection of you. You are everything, and you are everywhere you go and every person you meet. You can only ever experience yourself, nothing else. Nothing exists outside of you. Everything begins and ends with you.

and if we are truly the gods of our realities, doesn’t that mean someone else can manifest failure in mine?

You are God of your own reality. There’s only you in your reality. Nothing else and no one else. So everything and everyone that shows up is under your influence. IN YOUR REALITY. You can’t really access other people’s realities or inner worlds, and likewise they can’t reach yours. Even what you perceive as things outside of you pertaining to other people’s lives and experiences are still coming in through your own lenses, of the concept you have of that person, of the expectations and beliefs you have about them. This is why you shouldn’t bother with anything but yourself. Because it’s a waste of energy. Because everything you will ever perceive will come through you first. You can’t experience anything but yourself, your beliefs and your expectations. If you believe others can influence your reality then you are living from fear and you are giving your power away.

i hear things like time is an illusion, the 3D is an illusion, circumstances don’t matter, we are all gods of our reality. but WHERES the proof??

Instead of trying to manifest things in order to “see proof”, just let things happen and watch yourself during the process. Start really paying attention to what you’re thinking and feeling on a daily basis. Notice that your thoughts and reactions come from a certain state of being. Notice how people act in ways that you expect them to, because “that’s just how they are”.No, it’s because that’s the concept you hold of them in your reality, and they treat you according to the concept you hold of yourself. By doing this you will start to realize the connection between what has shown up in your life so far, and the person you were identifying with within. And when I say identifying with, I don’t mean something like an affirmation such as “I’m confident”. Your identification and basically your self concept comes from your perspective, the way you see things, the way you react to things and the way you act, the thoughts you have and what you accept as true. Those will show you who you really are.

i can’t blindly follow people’s success stories because im not them

The thing with success stories is that as much as they can be motivational, the process and the factors are always the same. They succeeded because they managed to change their mindset, they entered a new reality (within), they changed their dwelling place (the state of being they return to the most) and their outer reality simply reflected that change. Their circumstances are irrelevant and the only thing setting them apart is the techniques they used and how long it took for them to actually shift their mindset and accept the new reality they wanted. Techniques are not really that relevant because they only serve to aid you into moving states. So at this point it’s really just about what works best for you.

i affirm and persist and nothing shows up and im worried im doing it all wrong so i ask and now I’m even affirming wrong??

There’s no such thing as affirming wrong. And please take affirming off the pedestal. It’s just a technique and you don’t need to use it if it’s troubling you. Affirmations are just thoughts you would be having if you were living in the end. So their purpose is only to help make you feel like you are living in the wish fulfilled. There’s no point in affirming all day long if you keep feeling like you’re in the same old shitty reality. Again it’s the same thing I’ve been saying before. You can’t affirm for two opposite things at the same time and get the result you want. Use affirmations as much as you like but watch yourself for the rest of the time.

The reason this isn’t a trying process is because you’re not attempting to do anything to get something. You are simply being in a different way. You are changing your mind, changing your thoughts, choosing better feelings. This is a lifestyle change. If you accept the law, your entire perception changes. Nothing is ever the same as it used to be. This can be a hard pill to swallow but at some point you gotta be honest with yourself. There is no trying. There is only doing and there is only being.

i am not usually agitated but it’s exhausting.

I’m so exhausted and I just want to get what I want

You’re exhausted because you keep going back and forth between what you want and what has shown up. You need to pick one side and stick to it. You need to dive so deep into the feeling of what you want to the point where thinking the opposite feels unnatural. I know you don’t wanna hear this but thinking you’re doing something wrong really is also getting in your way. Think about it this way: you’re in the end goal, you’re there, it’s done, you got it. Would you be thinking about ANY of this stuff if that was the case? Would you be doubting and having all these fears and looking around everyday to make sure it’s still there? We both know you wouldn’t.

You just can’t have it and wonder where it is at the same time. You have to stick to the end goal and reject anything that contradicts that.

I know manifestation is supposed to be easy and not feel like a chore but how can it not when everything I desire is of so much importance to me

People say manifesting is easy and fun because you’re just supposed to satisfy yourself within by giving yourself what you want. If it feels like a chore then you're not giving yourself what you really want. You are focusing on what you think you should be doing and you are also keeping yourself hostage to your unwanted circumstances. If your desires are so important to you then stop putting conditions on them, stop looking for excuses to deny yourself of them. Get drunk in the feeling and the knowing of their fulfilment. Let go of all the doubts and fears, turn your back on your senses telling you it’s not here yet. Be stubborn and stop taking no for an answer.

You’re coming from a place of: I have all these unwanted circumstances and I want to have xyz instead, but no matter what I do, things aren't changing.

If you had xyz by now, would you still be repeating the unwanted circumstances in your head? Would you be thinking about them? Would you be reacting to them? Would you be identifying with this version of yourself that can’t get what you want?

No! You would be living your life, doing the things you enjoy, your duties and responsibilities, resting in the knowledge that you got that desire. It’s a reality now. It’s part of your life. You’d be living from that perspective.

You're keeping the unwanted stuff in place by reaffirming them, by looking at it everyday and going “yep, still here!”, you’re still accepting it as true for you. You can’t keep your attention on something without getting more of it. You need to die to the unwanted reality. Never to be seen again.

I’ve done self concept but I keep breaking.

Self concept is not a technique that you do once a day. Self concept is who you are. It’s how you behave and what you think all the time, every day, all day. It's what you believe and accept as true for you in all aspects. I think this community has been breaking up the law into bits and pieces, as if there are all these separate factors and steps you need to take, and it’s done more damage than good because it’s actually literally all the same thing, it’s all connected. Once you change through the means of one aspect, the other aspects change automatically. Self concept, mental diet, states, it’s all connected, they all lead to the same destination, you. Neville uses these terms interchangeably, to get his point across in the best way he sees fit at that moment, but he’s always talking about the same thing. So bottomline is that if you “keep breaking”, then you’re still in the process of change, you’re going from one state to the other, from unwanted to wanted. Back and forth. You’re still falling for the illusion of the 3d world and you’re still feeling the pull of your old story. You need to take a stand and decide that enough is enough. No longer accept what you don’t want. You’re the only one making the choice here. No one is forcing you to stay in the unwanted mindset but your own habits and comfort zone.

I don’t even know what affirmations to use to combat my limiting beliefs. Tbh I’m tired. I keep failing and failing because I affirm and persist but I affirm wrong or I have a limiting belief that hasn’t been uncovered yet.

Look, there’s nothing to combat here. There’s no war going on. It’s all just you. You don’t have any blocks or limiting beliefs you need to overpower. This isn’t a good perspective to hold. You ARE the power. I fought these types of statements for a long time but I can understand it now. You need to stop focusing on limiting beliefs or blocks. Stop thinking AND believing that you have problems that are getting in your way and that you need to overcome them. By holding this perspective, you’re only going to create more problems to overcome. Remember what I’ve been saying that you’re in the end now? Are there any blocks in the end? When the wish is fulfilled? I don’t think so and neither do you! I want you to take the challenge to declare to yourself that you no longer have any limitations. It’s all gone! You’re free now! I want you to wake up everyday and before you get out of bed, you remind yourself that hey, all that stuff is gone now! Nothing to worry about anymore! How good is that?!

I feel like if someone explained to me how this works and how to do it with no mistakes and how to keep faith in the unseen, I could actually get what I want.

You keep the faith in the unseen by believing and trusting in yourself. If you accept that you can do anything, that you deserve what you want, that you are the operant power and that everything is coming FROM you, then you know all you need is yourself. Idk it truly is a leap of faith, you need to make a choice. Do you want to live by what is outside of you, or by what’s within you? If you accept the law as true, then you have no choice but to start living by what’s within you. If you’re still sitting there thinking that your world is ruled by the circumstances outside of you then you don’t believe a tiny bit in any of this stuff. You’re truly wasting your time if you hold that perspective in place.

Okay I hope this whole essay I spent hours on helps! Now let’s get you those recs!

You can read most if not all of Neville's work for free here: https://realneville.com/

These are my current favorite Neville Based Teachers:

I am Love / Feeling Twisty (he's also on apple podcasts and spotify I believe)

Here's my own personal playlist of Neville based videos on youtube

There's a LOT of good stuff on reddit tbh, here's pretty much everything I have saved from there:

(ps.: it's good to check the comments on reddit posts because there's usually discussions happening and you can find some good pointers)

EdwardArtSupplyHands Series / Quote

ALLISMIND:

Feelings are your power

How thoughts and beliefs become reality

Overthinking

Superman's way of life

Thinking positive

Living from the Law

There's no reality

You don't believe in the Law

Nothing will change your mind

(ps.: he has A LOT of content, these are just the few I looked into)

Other posts:

Change your mind

It's Real. Success Story

Decide what you want

Self concept and personality

Self concept and self love

Letting go of control

Don't rationalize it

The state of the wish fulfilled

Checkmate 3D

Planting the seeds

Don't react

Faith and Knowledge

Slacker Manifesting

Persistence assumption

Don't complicate it

All you need is reassurance

Brazen Impudence

Manifesting is easy

Practical guide

Why circumstances don't matter

Commit to your desire

Ignore the Outside

Clarifying the Law for beginners

(ps.: These aren't 100% accurate tittles, just based on the actual tittles)

[brushstrokesapocalyptic]

it’s time for the “overanalyzing one-off lines” show!

so the very first thing magnus says when he sees pit in chapter 2 of kid icarus: uprising is as follows:

“Well, I didn’t expect to see an angel here. Hope this doesn’t mean I’ve kicked the bucket.”

now, i’m not sure if you’re aware, but that’s a really weird thing for someone to say, and it’s even more weird that no one comments on it. pit and palutena go on talking about unrelated things, as if that’s a totally normal and expected thing for magnus to say.

now, if you’re like me, you probably also didn’t really react to this line the first few times you saw it. it’s the second chapter, kiu has a lot of slightly-odd lines which turn out to be foreshadowing. me, personally? my first thought was “oh, i guess angels are probably associated with escorting the dead to the afterlife,“ and then i moved on.

they’re not, though. that’s what reapers do. and there’s no way humans have these two races mixed up. just fucking look at them.

do they look anything alike to you??? no. they don’t. which raises the question of why, exactly, magnus said that.

now, we don’t know a lot about angels as a whole. pit (and by extension dark pit) is emphatically not the gold standard of angeldom. we can assume he looks fairly ordinary for an angel, seeing as no one has trouble identifying him as such. beyond that, though, a lot of what we know about angels comes from what pit isn’t. for starters, he can’t fly. and there’s something else, too, but i’ll get to that later.

before that, though, i’m gonna go through the various unsubstantiated comments made by people with a dubious level of authority on the subject. (incidentally, i sourced these screenshots from the wiki— much more convenient than trying to dig through youtube for every single random conversation.)

without any further ado! let’s get into it!

Angels as Messengers

Gaol: Aw, Palutena’s little messenger boy. And Magnus, it’s always a pleasure. (src)

in the specific context of overanalyzing magnus’s first line, this is an important sentence to pick out. magnus and gaol are both humans, both with presumably a fairly similar history as mercenaries up until gaol got stuffed in a suit of armor. but while magnus makes a weird comment about death, gaol calls pit a messenger.

and pit agrees with her!

Viridi: I wish I had an angel to do my bidding. It’s like having an intern.

Pit: I’m not an intern. I’m a messenger of the gods!

Viridi: Poor Pit. Don't you know that the definition of angel is "errand spirit"? (src)

this particular conversation is the most insight we get into angels as a whole, i think. viridi thinks of angels as like divine interns, there to do little tasks for gods, and palutena doesn’t exactly disagree with her. pit says they’re specifically messengers, which lines up with biblical mythology. i could see the traditional role of angels in the world of KI being exactly that, showing up to tell the humans what the gods have to say because the gods themselves are too busy being petty jerks to do it themselves.

The Angel’s Code of Conduct

Magnus: You go in fully dressed? Don't you at least want to change into a...swimming tunic or something?

Pit: Oh, no no no! The angel's code of conduct says that we must always be ready for duty.

Magnus: I guess you wouldn't be an angel if you didn't do things by the book. (src)

Pit: Hey! You know the angel's code of conduct! I need to be prepared at all times! (src)

another random little thing is the angel’s code of conduct. without a larger sample size, we can’t know if it’s a real thing or just an excuse to save on laundry, but apparently it’s against the rules to not be on call at all times. in pit’s case, the duty he has to be ready for is doing palutena’s dirty work, but it can easily mean just about anything— including, of course, being a messenger.

No Warrior

Chariot Master: But you are no warrior, angel. Tell me, why do you fight?

Pit: I fight for Lady Palutena. And I fight for the people under her protection!

Chariot Master: That's not reason enough for an angel. (src)

remember how i said there was something else weird about pit? the chariot master seems to think angels aren’t very prone to battle— or perhaps even that they’re actively opposed to it. this lines up well with the idea that they’re supposed to be messengers, peaceful go-betweens for gods and mortals. this does not line up well with pit, the adorable weapon of mass destruction.

and it also does absolutely nothing to explain the question driving the whole existence of this post.

you know what does kinda lean towards an explanation?

No Other Angels

Pit: Do all gods have their own angels, like you have me?

Palutena: No, I don't think that's necessarily the case. (src)

i said before that the Intern Pit conversation had the most illuminating information on angels. this is what i was actually referring to. on its own, it’s pretty innocuous, but it’s just as weird as the magnus line. shouldn’t pit know about other angels, seeing as he is one himself? but he doesn’t know if there are other angels.

the only angels we ever see are him and his clone. no one ever directly references the existence of other angels, they only make general statements about what angels as a whole are like— statements which clearly don’t apply to pit, meaning they’re not just extrapolating based on the one angel that definitely does exist.

the one time someone does comment on the hypothetical existence of other angels, palutena gives a vague answer to the tune of “no,” the topic is changed, and no one brings it up again.

let’s go over everything i’ve established about angels up to this point. they can fly, they’re peaceful messengers of the gods, and pit is the only one that seems to exist as of the start of KIU.

it should be pretty obvious at this point what answer i’m dancing around, if it wasn’t obvious from the start. pit is the only angel around because all the other ones are dead. the reason why magnus said what he did is that his thought process went something like this:

See an angel.

Think “Aren’t angels extinct? Is that a ghost? Am I a ghost? I sure hope not.“

Make a quip about that.

Move on with his life, because he isn’t dead and evidently neither is this guy.

i’m not gonna pretend i went into this post with the intent of any other conclusion to that mystery. anyone who’s bothered glancing over a plot summary for the original kid icarus can draw that conclusion. it’s certainly what i did, reinforced by fics by people who had the same thought!

the truth, however, is that this was all a trick to get you to read my analysis of the theoretical nature of angels as a race. now that you’re invested, i’m going to dramatically throw aside my cape and reveal my TRUE FORM: telling people that fandom consensus is wrong, and my ideas are cooler and better than everyone else’s and you should all throw roses at my feet and bow before your king.

(or just, y’know, take it as the subjective analysis that it is. whatever floats your boat.)

Hot Takes

the original kid icarus does not actually tell you about angels going extinct. here’s the wiki article with the full text of the backstory, just for convenience, so you know what i’m on about for the rest of this post.

so, the part of the story that i think gets misinterpreted is this part about palutena’s army.

Medusa led a surprise attack on Palutena's army which could barely fend off the attack. Palutena's army suffered major losses and was heavily defeated in the final battle.

specifically, i think a lot of people interpret said army as having been made up at least partly of angels. sure, in the actual game it consists entirely of centurions, but you have to take old NES games with a grain of salt. i know i don’t buy for a second that pit was part of palutena’s guard before the original game (he was just too goddamn young), there’s nothing wrong with reinterpreting things.

recall everything i established about angels already, though. this is the hot official lore, from the game everyone knows and loves. angels are messengers, and if the chariot master is to be believed, never warriors. pit is an outlier. palutena’s army consists of centurions, not angels. if medusa wiped them out, it wasn’t because they were fighting for palutena.

(and honestly, i don’t think angels are necessarily associated with palutena exclusively. sure, she’s got the wing imagery, and she’s got the one known surviving angel working for her, at least up until pittoo is born. but angels are messengers of the gods, not messengers of palutena. again, pit is an outlier.)

which all brings us to the real question of this post.

what the FUCK happened to all the other angels? why is there only pit? why does magnus act surprised to see a messenger of the gods, and make a quip about being dead, if not because angels are otherwise extinct?! WHO KILLED THEM, AND WHY?!

thus concludes the “over analyzing one-off lines“ show. see you next, uh, maybe at some point if i feel like it!

(also another thought i had but couldn’t find room to fit it in properly: the gods don’t really act like angels are all extinct, but i feel like that can be explained through the sheer scale of a god’s lifespan. if we assume they were wiped out sometime around the original kid icarus (even if not as palutena’s army) then that’s a whole twenty-five years. that’s a long time for us humans, but for a god, that might as well be last tuesday. “yeah, i know what angels are like. sure wish i could have one. too bad palutena’s got a monopoly on the one single angel that medusa didn’t manage to wreck.”)

[jadedxrealityw]

-Rivals- Hermione Granger x Female Reader

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody: I’m using the owls grading system for the story so if that’s not right, sue me i guess idk. 

    Movie/Show: Harry Potter, ignoring the storyline

    House/Year: Ravenclaw / 7th year

    Request:  Can I request a bold ravenclaw reader (her attitude almost could pass as a slytherin ngl) she's been Hermione's rival when it comes to grades and they DON'T get along very well. Reader is the opposite of mione's reserved personality. But rivals don't kiss and make out with each other secretly in the lavatory 😭 pls enemies to lovers (with some tension;) ykyk and then one day, they walk the great hall hand in hand and everyone is like don't they find each other insufferable?

    Possible Triggers/Warnings: if you don’t like lesbians get the hell off my page, sexual tension, enemies to lovers trope, cursing

    ☼-☪-☼

    love came unexpectedly at times, you learned that at young age from fairy tales and such. Well all kids did, but kids eventually grew up and came to the realization that fairy tales were exactly what they were, fairy tales. Fiction. Not real. 

    people could call you cold hearted or rude, but you would describe yourself as blunt or brutally honest. Never afraid to speak your mind or point out injustice when you saw fit. To put it simpler terms, professors at Hogwarts preferred you didn’t speak at times. 

    “Your too outspoken Ms. L/n” 

    “Stick to your academics Ms. L/n”

    “You wouldn’t be in detention so much so if kept your mouth shut Ms. L/n”

    merlin, you were exhausted of hearing your own last name. You guessed the only reason you weren’t reprimanded as worse as the Weasley Twins was because you were one of Hogwarts brightest witches, always excelled in academics, in every subject. 

    you couldn’t explain it to others even if you tried other then it just came naturally. Your parents, when they were attended Hogwarts were both just as naturally skilled in there studies as you were. So you must have inherited there ‘big brain’ as your mother said many times before.

    you were never one to gloat though, it was never your style. You were more humble about what you could accomplish. That was until she got involved. That egoistical, hypocritical, Gryffindor girl. Hermione Granger became the bane of your existence early into your fifth year. 

   until then Ms. Granger had been the top of all her classes, no one even came close to her intelligence, naming her ‘The Brightest Witch At Hogwarts’ and Hermione wore that title with pride. Being a Muggle born put a target on her head as well as stereotypes.

    most students and some staff almost immediately came to the conclusion she wasn’t capable of achieving goals that regular half or pure bloods could. It was a terrible way to think, but it was unfortunately the reality of being involved with the wizarding world. 

   Hermione was lucky to have friends like she did that cared about her no matter who she was or what she became, but it didn’t stop her need to feel validated in her academics. It was the one thing no one could giver her shit for, because she was the best at it and no one else was. 

   until that fateful fifth year that was mentioned earlier. It was the time when you finally got your mind and heart into your studie. You blew past most of the student body rather quickly, earning the title of the fastest turn around at Hogwarts.

    it was nice

    then it wasn’t, for Hermione of course 

    ☼-☪-☼

    fifth year / past

    “It seems we have two students with an Outstanding this time around” Professor Flitwick spoke as the exams from the previous week had landed neatly onto the wooden desk in front of you. “congratulations Ms. Granger and Ms. L/n”

    Hermione’s head perked up like a cat who had heard a bag of hard food shake from the nest room over, eager. She had never heard that name before, it didn’t come as much as an surprise though considering how big Hogwarts was. She leant to the left where Harry Potter sat. 

    “Who’s L/n? Do you know her?” she asked, casually though Harry knew her better then most. He gave her a half hearted shrug “No clue, try Ron” he suggests. Hermione nods once before leaning over to the right, where the Weasley sat, scowling at his exam. 

    “Mum’s going to kill me” he muttered, bringing no reaction to Granger’s face. He never studied. “Ron, do you know who this L/n is?” she repeated the question she gave to Harry. Ron turns his head away from the parchment and to Hermione. 

   his brows furrowed as he searches the corners of his mind for where he had heard the name from, until the visible light bulb popped over his head- well not so visible actually. “Oh um- Y/n L/n. she’s a Ravenclaw, her parents are certified geniuses. They work at the ministry. Department of magical education”

   his words did not soothe the wracking thought in the young Granger’s mind. “Certified geniuses?” Hermione echos. “If that’s so how come she’s only getting Outstandings now? she must have cheated somehow” she thought aloud. 

    “I surely didn’t cheat”

   like an owl Hermione’s head turned over her shoulder, her two Gryffindor pals doing the same. In her sight was a girl, her age, in a Ravenclaw robe. She had S/C skin with H/L H/C hair and E/C eyes that were staring back at her. Hermione was almost stunned into silence- keyword being almost. 

    “the explain the good grade all of the sudden, L/n?”

   you looked rather confused. You had never met the girl and she was accusing you of cheating because you had never gotten an Outstanding before? Was this a prank of some sort or fever dream? “I studied for once. You have no right accusing me, i don’t even know you that well”

    Harry placed a hand upon Hermione’s shoulder, signaling for her to stop before she caused a scene. Looking back, she should have listened “No right? I have a right to point out people who are just trying to cheat their way through school while people like us actually care about our grades”

    what the Gryffindor girl wasn’t expecting was for you to start laughing. Her friend, Cho Chang joining in, finding it just as equally hilarious. Hermione’s face turned just as bright as Ron’s hair. “What is so funny?” you and Cho slowly come to a stop, breathing in and out. 

    “what’s funny is that your ego is so incredibly large, so much so that it can’t comprehend that someone, not a Gryffindor either was able to match your intelligence. Now shove off ” you said it all with a grin on your face, because you certainly knew you were right. 

    and from that day, you both despised each other

    ☼-☪-☼

    seventh year / present

    and with every exam, every questioned called on by a teacher, you fastly became Hermione’s rival. It was a term Cho used, but you didn’t really see it that way since you weren’t competing with her. You never studied harder to make sure you got the same grade, never tried to sabotage her in any way. 

    you didn’t care much about it actually

    but you did quite enjoy her face, the way her nostrils flared up an her cheeks turned a bright red in anger. It was cute seeing her so mad. Sending er a wink or sly grin when she glared at you became a daily routine as well. When at first you ignored her you now loved annoying her.

    never having to say a word was probably your favorite part. 

    that’s probably when feelings began to mix into it, but you either didn’t notice or refuse to acknowledge them at all. You genuinely thought you hated this girl, so why in the world would you ever think you liked her? Makes sense, right? Were not even going to mention the questioning your sexuality.

    “Sit still while i pass out your exams from yesterday. Once you recieve your paper you may get up and leave” 

    “You think if Snape got laid he wouldn’t be such a prick?” the Slytherin boy spoke, leaning towards you. turning your head ever so slightly, you lock eyes with Draco “Why are you even sitting here?” you whisper back, giving him a mock astonished look.

   he rolls his grey eyes, shrugging his shoulders “You never talk to me outside of class anymore” he grumbles. Is he- Is this- What is happening? “That’s because your a little shit and pushed Neville in the hallway yesterday” yeh, you caught his dumbass. 

    Draco’s eyes widen a bit, not knowing you had been in the hallway during the crime. “You saw that?- what are you his protector?” he says, clearly as an insult, but oh little did he know that you were indeed exactly what he just said and would say it with pride.

    “Yes-”

    “Ms. L/n, Outstanding as usual as well Mr. Malfoy. Good work, the both of you” Snape places the exams in front of each of you, but you were both to busy staring in shock. This bitter, old, mean, crude man just compliment you. Merlin, you had finally gotten fathers approval

    (what in the fuck am i writing)

    “Is this heaven?” Draco questioned, staring bug eyed forward. 

    “No”

    “How do you know?”

    “Cormac is here”

    “Yeah your right, feelings over” both you and Draco sighed, turning to look at each other before laughing quietly. He was a pretty chill dude sometimes. “What!?” the loud screech filled your ears. All heads turned behind you, so you followed that and saw the one and only Hermione Granger. 

    she was huffing and puffing. You feared for the stick and straw houses in the world for a moment. Harry quickly stood up and pushed her shoulders down, forcing her back into her seat “I've never gotten an Exceeds Expectations before” Hermione sputters out. 

    she

    got

    what

    now?

    oh this was rich, absolutely hilarious, so much so that Draco had already began to laugh. “Poor Granger, guess you really aren’t the brightest witch” he taunted. Hermione looked up, glaring daggers at the Slytherin. Merlin, he had such a big mouth.

    then her brown eyes strayed to you, but you only pursed your lips together, providing her no emotion to work off of. In a haste, she collected her things, leaving the cursed exam on the table nd rushing out the door, both Ron and Harry calling out for her. 

    fuck

    standing up, you grab your bag and look down at Draco. His laughter comes to an end and he looks up at you “What?” he asked. You copied his dementor singers from third year, making him look at your hands. You took that time to reach down and flick his forehead. 

    he pulls away, his palm rubbing his head in circles “Bloody hell, what was that for?!” he exclaimed. What an idiot. “This is why we don’t hang out” you deadpan before finally going to exit the classroom, leaving a grumbling, mumbling Draco. Something about you being  ‘mean friend’

    ☼-☪-☼

    only having ten minutes until Charms class you began to search the halls. Merlin where had she run off too? The school wasn’t THAT big- okay maybe it was. You had almost called quits, making a mental note to check up on her during lunch when you passed the restroom.

    sniffling and crys were heard. You’ll admit, it kind off hurt to hear. Taking a few steps backwards, you use the palm off your hand to slowly push the door open so it wouldn’t creak like the old shit it was. When it was open just enough for you to fit through, you slip in. 

    gazing around, you see Hermione bent over the sink, sobbing. You could hear her voice becoming rougher by the second as she destroyed her vocal cords. “Granger?” you say, staying a few feet behind her. Hermione looks up in the mirror, spotting you behind her. 

    her distraught expression quickly shifted to anger “You” she seethed. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion “Me?” you say back, crossing your arms. “Leave me the hell alone L/n!” she shouts, angry tears flooding down her cheeks. Raising your hands, you offer your surrender.

    “Shit, sorry. I was just trying to see if you were okay” you admit. Hermione turns on her heels, facing you directly this time before speaking “Oh so now your my friend, your a bully! All you do is step on my toes and try to make me look like a fool!”

    “Are you on fucking drugs Granger? Not once have i ever gone out my way to harm you of any sort. Your the one who is obsessed with trying to be better then me and i never gave a shit. I never wanted to be your rival for three years and i certainly never bullied you!”

    the words you spoke went out one of Hermione’s ears and out the other. For someone as smart as her, she could be quite dense when angry “You don’t get to play the saint, L/n! I have spent those three years studying as hard as i can and you don’t even have to try!” 

   throwing your hands up in the air a crazy person because she was honestly starting to make your brain hurt quite a bit, you laugh loudly “Oh my- no one asked you too! What is so wrong with us being the same?! ” you shouted, finally raising your voice as much as she had.

    “Because your not a Muggle! You don’t know what it’s like to have everyone you meet already assume your not worth their time just because your parents aren’t witches or wizards!” she crept towards you and which each step she took you took a step right the fuck back.

    this chick wasn’t going to hit you, right?

    “I have never judged you for your blood status Granger, i frankly could care less. What i do judge you for is you know, the giant ego thing” you spat back only causing her to gasp in offense “I do not have an ego!” she yells, stepping into your boundaries basically.

   you had tried to back up like before, but you were pressed up against a wall at this point. “Yes you do and it’s as big as Hagrid!” you reply. Hermione grabs the collar of your white uniform shirt, pulling you down a bit so her face was inches from yours, trying to intimidate you.

    “Take it back!” she threatens. In that moment your eyes scanned her face, noting her almost perfect skin, her brown eyes that looked more hazel up close then far away, and her lips. They looked so soft and inviting. You couldn’t quite understand why you were thinking like this all of the sudden.

    but it felt right, so right

    in a swift motion you place your lips on Hermione’s. You had thought she’d pull away, but only half a second later her arms were wrapped around your neck, pulling you as close as possible to her. You tangled one of your hands into her light brown wavy mess and the other pushed on the small of her back. 

    the kiss was messy and sloppy, not amount of anything really could make it appropriate. How did you two go from fighting to almost ripping each others uniforms off? A question no one could really answer but yourself as well Hermione. 

    it was over as soon as it began with Hermione pulling away, leaning her forehead against yours. You could make out the small smile on her face, it made you smile as well. “That was-” she started to speak, but was stopped by her own laughter. 

    “Yeah” you breathed out. What had just happened?

        ☼-☪-☼

    four months later

    ever since that day you and Hermione would casually meet up in the lavatory to kiss and feel up on each other after, btween, during classes. Anything really. You both had also not interacted at all outside of these visits. Just stayed away from each other as much as possible.

    most people thought you two had either made up after three years of rivalry or had decided to no longer interact with each other at all. Little did they know right? Speaking of that, you pull away from Hermione, panting for air “We have divination in three minutes” you spoke. 

   her face turned to worry instantly making you grin to yourself “Godric, i have to get out of here. Wait a couple minutes” she gathered her belongings and rushed out the restroom not even leaving you with an goodbye kiss. How rude. After about five minutes or so you leave as well

    once you get to class you look around the room and spot Hermione already sat with Harry and Ron on one side of the arch like sitting area for the students. “Y/n!” oh not again. Turning your head to the right, you spt the Slytherin boy with his mates.

   this guy just doesn’t quit. You plop yourself next to Draco Malfoy “I thought you were going to ignore me again” he admits. Ignoring his statement, you gaze around the people at your table “Where’s Parkinson? If i’m going to be stuck with you gits and Theo i rather it be with her” 

   Theo cracks a smile while Draco rolls his eyes “She’s sick, stuck in her dorms” he explains. You nod mindlessly and look over at Hermione. She was brushing through her hair with her fingers, trying to make it look like you weren’t tugging on it just minutes ago. 

    “What’s that on your neck?” Harry asks, moving the top part of Hermione’s robe with his finger, causing her to swat his hand away “It’s just a bug bite” she says with haste. quick thinking, that’s kinda cute. For some odd reason you liked seeing her explain her way out of a hickey that you gave her. 

    class soon started, but you kept your inventive gaze on her. It was adorable how she would catch you staring and turn a nice shade of red. It brought a smug smile to your face each time. Professor Trelawney had called upon Hermione to ask a question, but she seemed to be too busy avoiding your gaze. 

    “My dear, Ms. Granger” Trelawney said for maybe the third time until Hermione finally fell back down to reality. She looked at the Professor who gave her a kind smile “Oh um-” the Gryffindor put on a nervous smile, her eyes looking to you. You sent her a wink.

    merlin you were such an asshole

    Hermione looked at her lap, trying to muster up the words, any words actually. Her savior wore glasses “Hermione isn’t feeling to well. Can Ron and i take her to the hospital wing?” Harry asked. What a buzzkill. Trelawney nods, waving her hand to the direction of the door. 

    Harry tapped Hermione’s shoulder while Ron grabbed her things and off they went. 

        ☼-☪-☼

    a week later

    “I have to head to dinner, you should too. I saw that you didn’t eat during lunch” Hermione spoke, buttoning her uniform shirt. You smile, looking into the mirror so you could fix your hair “Watching me Granger?” you ask, turning away from your reflection.

    “You know i worry about your health” she said, which only made your smile wider “What is that stupid smile for?’ Hermione questions, an amused laugh in her tone. Shrugging, you lean against the sink counter “Stupid? I thought you liked my quote on quote ‘Goofy smile’” 

    Hermione shakes her head, grabbing her bag from the floor “I better see you at dinner or i’ll drag you there myself” she said playfully. An idea popped into your mind. “Then drag me” you smirk, tilting your head to the left. Hermione looks at you, shaking her head again. “You know i can’t”

    “Why not? It’s been four months. I would like to be your-” you stopped mid sentence. You both had never really gave each other labels before. It was always just the casual make out and flirting, but now you were much more. Fuck it “I would like to be your girlfriend in public”

    Hermione’s brow eyes went wide as she heard those words. It becoming a little too real. You saw her conflicted face and immediately felt some sort of shame. Averting your gaze to the ground, you take a deep breath. “Forget i said anything” 

    “No!- i mean. I’m ready. Plus i’m tired of being distracted by you during class” Hermione lightened the mood just a tad. You look back up at her, cracking a half smile “I’m most likely still going to distract you” you point out, making her chuckle. Cute.

    she inhales sharply “Let’s do this” she states confidently, letting out the breath. She reached out, opening her hand for you to grab. In that small gesture, you knew you would be with this woman for as long as you lived. Grabbing her hand, you intertwined your fingers with hers. 

    ☼-☪-☼

    hand in hand, you walk into the great hall. Heads turned and pupils dialated at the sight of you and Hermione walking in together. You honestly felt a little self conscious until you saw the bright smile of Cho and Luna as well as Draco who gave you a hidden thumbs up.

    both you and Hermione took  seat at the Gryffindor table. “So Hermione, how long as this been going on?” Harry asked. Hermione glances at you before her best friend “Four months, one week.” she said, gleaming with pride at her memory. 

    Harry looked taken aback at the time, but gave you both a smile “Well at least you both are getting along finally” he says, Ron nodding beside “Yeah- getting along” the Weasley jokes. You laugh a bit before leaning over to kiss the temple of Hermione's head. 

    rivals am i right?

        ☼-☪-☼

    Click here to join my Taglist so you never miss a new story from me!

    @the--queen-of-hell @sonbelleame @dracosathenaeum @queeriacs @marrymetheonott

    ☼-☪-☼

    Kody- Aye look its 10 am and i haven’t slept. Good night, my requests are open blah blah. Anyways, peace. 

[teamxdark]

The sun beat down from overhead, and the scent of salt carried over as the breeze guided the waves to the shore. Below his feet, the captain felt the soft rocking of the ship sway him from side to side, back and forth, a sensation so familiar that he had to concentrate if he ever wanted to notice it.

And, well... He wanted to notice it right then. Anything to keep his troubled thoughts at bay.

Shadow was no captain. He had never considered himself good for the role. He could govern himself just fine, but when it came to a group, the weight of responsibility for others pushed him to his worst.

The problem was that no one noticed it.

The hedgehog lifted his head, keeping a hand on his hat to prevent it from flying away, and looked up at the clear skies, dotted by a few seagulls gliding on the currents up above. A perfect day to set sail, as the navigator had told him; Knuckles had an exceptional sense of direction and the strength of body to carry out duties as the helmsman or at the rudder, even when weathering a storm.

Even though he still sometimes drank himself to sleep to handle the guilt of refusing to accompany her.

A flash of yellow swooped by his periphery, and the captain turned to see Tails hard at work, checking the rigging and assessing the sails. The lad was young but brave, and had exceptional knowledge about the structural integrity of the ship. He could spot issues that most would gloss over, even with years of experience. A prodigy, an asset, an invaluable member of the crew.

Shadow still saw the boy's hands shake as he retied the knots, and he knew he still slept in the same hammock as his brother, worried that he might meet the same fate as her.

"Here you go, Captain!"

Amy's cheerful voice interrupted Shadow's brooding, and she pressed a large sandwich into his hand. "It's the last day we can have bread, unsalted meat and fresh vegetables, so I decided to make everyone something special."

The cook was her own force of nature, with a bright and friendly disposition that made those around her feel calmer and happier, and she made meals so good, even with a limited pantry, that the crew swore she was capable of magic. Yet, Shadow had seen her at the cannons, firing mercilessly at those who threatened them. She never missed a shot.

She still cried into their stew, sometimes.

Amy carried on, bringing the next sandwich to Silver, who thanked her with a kind smile. The cabin boy was the newest addition, a stowaway-turned-crewmate that they couldn't manage to turn away. He was an odd one, optimistic and thoughtful, yet impulsive and filled with a rage that brought the worst storms to shame. His telekinetic abilities helped him keep the ship spick and span all over, and when obstacles couldn't be avoided, it was often he who held the ship together... quite literally.

Shadow knew she would have found him to be priceless.

"Ready to set sail, Captain?"

Shadow held back a sigh and looked over to his first mate. Sonic was leaning over the side of the ship, feeling the breeze hit his face, his eyes serenely closed as he noticeably avoided looking at the water. For someone who didn't know how to swim, Sonic still fit in the crew like a hand in a glove tailor made for it. A jack of all trades, he was quick, decisive, courageous, fearless...

She should have picked him.

Shadow's hand rose to his chest, feeling the bumps and indents of the necklace hidden underneath his shirt, until it stopped over his heart, where the jewel lied.

Pink. Heart-shaped. Not worth much by a jeweller's appraisal, but absolutely priceless to any and everyone on that ship. The true symbol of the captain.

"Sometimes you have to make the value yourself," she had told him as she slipped the stone back under her shirt, safe from view.

"Just about," he finally responded to Sonic, noticing how the other hedgehog's ear dropped a tad before lifting back up.

"Sorry Cap, but it doesn't really sound like it."

Shadow hated that he was right. He hated that he still didn't feel ready. He hated that he had such a fantastic crew that he didn't feel worthy of inheriting.

When he was only responsible for himself, it was one story, but he didn't know if he could stand being responsible for anything that could happen to the rest of them. Shadow knew himself; after so many years of following her orders, so many instances of breaking away from her plans because he needed to figure out something for himself, he had come to a conclusion:

He was selfish, self-centred, and unfit to be the one calling the shots for people who needed someone with a strong mind and a constant focus on the big picture.

Why did you give this to me, Rouge?

Any of them could do a better job. Sonic, though he seemed carefree, commanded attention and loyalty and inspired trust and morale. Amy was a natural leader, responsible and resourceful. Even Knuckles, who still fell for Sonic's dumb pranks, had shown that he could step up to the plate and lead when he needed to.

Shadow had been the wildcard, a mix of a lone wolf and a follower, a gun to be aimed and fired by someone with enough clarity of mind to know what she needed to shoot for in the long run.

Rouge had been the perfect captain, except for one thing.

For some reason, she had named Shadow as her second in command.

"Still comparing yourself to her?"

Shadow's hand fell from his chest. He refused to respond.

Sonic leaned back from the railing, opening his eyes to the sky. "I guess I get it. Big shoes to fill and all that. But no one's a perfect captain, you know. Captain Rouge might have been one of the best there was, but the instant she saw a pretty gem..."

"... we'd get sidetracked," Shadow finished, pressing his lips together. It was true; as great as Rouge had been, she had a weakness, and that weakness was why she wasn't with them now.

"I just wish she had told us where she was going..."

It was a question the crew often asked themselves. Why had their captain run off to find a treasure reputed to have a curse so terrible that the map was torn apart and scattered. Why they had spent the better part of a year sailing around to find the pieces. Why Rouge had put together the map in secret and left to find it alone, leaving Shadow her necklace with the announcement that he was in charge. Why she hadn't taken anyone with her, save for the joking offer to Knuckles to accompany her, which the echidna still managed to convince himself was a true offer as a way to find something concrete to blame for the guilt and fear that he felt. That they all felt.

Shadow had nothing like that. He envied Knuckles in a way for it.

"Think of it this way," Sonic said, once again pulling Shadow from his thoughts. "It's an adventure of our own, and the prize is finding her again."

Shadow clenched his fists, crushing his sandwich in the process. "If she's still alive," he muttered, saying what so many of them were afraid to even think about.

"Hey now, come on--"

"Six months!" Shadow snapped. "It's been half a year and there's been no sign of her at any of the rendezvous points!"

You left us. You left me here, with your crew, and now I have to do what I could never do.

"And that's why we're looking for her, right?" Sonic asked, remaining calm even as Shadow felt his world split apart, yet again, as it did far too frequently when he was left with his thoughts. "That's why you ordered this search. Because you know that giving up on her when there's still a chance is the worst thing you could do for her."

Shadow breathed in heavily through his nose, forcing his hands to unclench. Sonic was right. There was a stupid, dumb, idiotic, pathetic part of him that couldn't accept what he knew should be the truth.

Rouge, if we find you and you're still alive, I'm throwing you overboard myself.

"We set off in two minutes," he ordered, stuffing what was left of his sandwich into his mouth. Next to him, Sonic grinned and gave him a salute.

"Aye aye, Captain."

With that, he was off, no doubt relaying Shadow's order to the rest of them. Shadow, meanwhile, walked to the bow of the ship, looking out to the horizon as he drew the necklace out from under his shirt.

They had no leads. They had a great many countries and vessels after them thanks to their history of heists. The odds of finding anything helpful were so astronomically slim that they might as well be sailing to their deaths.

But if any crew could do it, it was this one.

And Shadow, no matter how little he believed in himself, no matter how much fear he held, had to lead them.

"Sit tight, Captain," he whispered to the necklace's heart-shaped gem. Behind him, he heard the sound of Silver raising the anchor and Knuckles calling out directions to Tails at the helm while he pushed the rudder.

It was time to begin their adventure.