#like you know someone that well and hit such a fun miasma of sadness and failure and worst instincts and lowest points with a sort of

[pussyhoundspock]

feel like this is definitely not going to be a popular opinion but sue and will definitely should've fucked. actually you know what ill go even further they had the most special interesting and consistent relationship of any characters on that show. they should've been endgame but not in a longterm romantic relationship sort of way just in a lifelong enemies but also they've definitely fucked sort of way.

[fromtheburn-withlove]

Prompt #27: Palaver

Tearful personal catharsis and moments of enlightenment didn’t quite have the same tang as the anger in the midst of dirty bar brawls. It lacked the particular deep notes of bereavement at well-attended funerals, fell utterly short by comparison to the potent, complex cocktail you could sip on slowly at any local gentleman’s club where shame, disgust, and arousal kicked up like a fine dust in the wake of any dancer’s saunter. This group focused on couples talking about their issues, and thereby made the embedded sentiments far less palatable so far removed from the source. It would have been far better to sit in on a romantic relationship souring from the comfort of their kitchen table where one woman said she never missed an opportunity to emasculate her husband over dinner, who in turn withheld all forms of affection until she felt unlovable. Delicious, but not filling.

“...And what about you, Katarina?”

Her eyes snapped up as though she���d only just remembered she was a real, present person and not a fly on the wall of their misery, a mere spectator in this bloodsport.

"Me? Oh...no. No, no. I’m not married," she retorts with a grin, kicking back in her chair. Her fingers lace together over her stomach as her boots rest on the table next to a blotchy man's uneaten pastry. "I've never even had a real relationship. I don't know what that's like. I know what it's like to undress for a stranger—a lot of them, actually—but actually dealing with them in the long-term? Absolutely not. It's so much work that I'm not sure why anyone bothers or what they really get out of it except misery in the end. It's hard enough being in charge of your own issues without getting your hands full of someone else's particular variety.”

Her feet swing off the table and she leans forward to pluck the uneaten food off the plate, speaking with a bite in one cheek. “Oh, don't look at me like that. I just sat here and listened to all of you complain about each other, lament past loves, pine after better days, and argue in front of a group of strangers. Were any of you listening to yourselves?" She gives an incredulous laugh. "Do you feel anything but a thousand flavors of rote contempt? Where is the artfulness? When you go at each other’s throats, you don’t even care enough about them to do it creatively. I mean..." She takes a moment to swallow. “Withholding sex is just an invitation for them to get it elsewhere. What you’ve got to do is figure out how to weaponize it.”

Perhaps a few glances were exchanged, but she remained undaunted. "Look, I thought I loved a few people, but I'm not so sure anymore. I think it was something less, but don't ask me what to call it. I never wanted their problems, I only wanted them to give me their attention. I offered the same in return, and it seems like a pretty good deal compared to the rest of you, if you think about it. You make my way of doing things look downright ingenious. Every man for himself, except in the overlap of sharing a bed and having someone who will weather your jokes when you're not. And even the latter is usually in service to the former, so maybe you can really just boil it down to this: The only thing you're worth is how much shit someone has to put up with in order to fuck you."

"It's not as crazy as it sounds. And you know what? It's even fun to test the limits. How much is someone willing to go through to keep bedding you? Maybe it's not much. There's an advantage if you're beautiful, of course, which ups the tolerance considerably. Take it from me, it matters quite a lot. But then, the amount decreases depending on just how absolutely fucked you are beneath it. Beauty helps, but crazy hurts." Kat rests her chin on her fist thoughtfully, her bright eyes gazing off at the ceiling, away from the gathering. "Bet there's some sort of ratio on that, but I can't be arsed to discover it. I've read the books on psychodynamics and I remain skeptical."

"Anyway, you know, I don’t even think I know how to love anyone the right way to begin with. Does that sound stupid?” She pauses, rubbing her chin thoughtfully. Her dark brows swoop lower. “It kind of does, doesn’t it? It’s one of those self-evidently stupid statements you say when you’re trying to dip your toe into being vulnerable and you’re looking for that one emotional high that will encapsulate the more complex miasma just below the surface. Just one single concept that hits the nail square on the head and distills your own personal disasters into a single, crystalline, beautiful, coherent gem that you can possess." She holds her fingers up as though examining a diamond in the light and smiles sadly before she crushes the imaginary stone by closing thumb and index together.

"The climax never comes, though. I've been everywhere looking for it. I've seen people buried that I couldn't pick out of a criminal lineup. I've attended weddings, right on the periphery, just to get a hit of joy. I'm getting edged to death by these sad little attempts at feeling just the right thing. That's what it's like for me. Getting emotionally blueballed until I die. No, what I said? That's not how I feel at all. No climax for me, not in front of this group." She turns her eyes back to the ring of perplexed, surprised, shocked, and even vaguely humored faces around her and offers a gentle smile. "Wouldn't be the first time if I did." She starts to laugh, a ringing sound in the silence of the room. "Come on, nobody? Ahh, what a pity. This persona isn't for everyone, I'm finding out. This wasn’t helpful, was it? Not for me, not for you...well, then, I wish you all the very best of luck in fixing your absolutely horrid-sounding relationships."

[salavante]

that character ask thing, how about August en Zaied?? :3c

That funky, hunky elf. 

Full Name: August en Zaied

Gender and Sexuality: Male and mostly Heterosexual. I think there is the off-chance fellow that might pique his interest, but not at a frequency that I think he would self-describe himself as bisexual.

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: Umbran Elf. I talked about this a little bit in Ganzrig’s thing, but most people on Ismes have a different race back in their heritage at some point, and individuals will look a little more or less human depending on how many actual humans are back in their ancestry. August is on the more human-y side of the spectrum. 

Birthplace and Birthdate: I don’t tend to give birthdates to characters who do not use the same calendar systems as us. Maybe he was born in winter, ironically. August’s family formerly lived in one of the Umbran Empire’s capitol cities, and he was probably born on the family estate.

Guilty Pleasures: Not a ton. August is a very serious, dignified person and doesn’t put himself at risk of looking silly very often. He’ll smoke tobacco on occasion and likes his wine and port. He also knows how to play the accordion but just barely…which, really means that he doesn’t know how to play it at all, HAH. August also has a fondness for roses, as his mother had a garden on their old estate that she was very proud of. One thing he is guilty about is that after being exposed to and promptly rejecting most new technology…he really does prefer using an electric razor to a straight razor and no one can ever know. I think that’s his one true guilty pleasure. If someone caught him using it he’d be absolutely mortified.

Phobias: Oh wow I can actually fill this one out as god and OP intended, because August is a shipwreck survivor and now has a phobia of drowning and deep water, which is a shame because he’s a sailor by trade and formerly really loved the ocean. I do think it’s something he can work through if he tries, though.

What They Would Be Famous For: As far as August is concerned, he would prefer to not be famous for anything, ever, and that everyone would just leave him to his own business. Unfortunately, he has a moderate cult following on The Hunt for having a unique powerset and being kind of a dreamboat.  

What They Would Get Arrested For: August is fairly lawful and coolant headed, so, not a ton, but if he were doing something to ensure the safety and wellness of his family, he’d go to some pretty far lengths. There’s a perfectly serviceable AU out there where August is a mercenary, pirate or assassin.

OC You Ship Them With: August was never actually envisioned as being a ladies man, but it’s just what happened along the way. All of the ladies he has slept with in-game have been older than him, so I guess he likes mature women, HAH. I enjoy the chemistry between August and Jake’s character Elias, who is a silver tongued cannibal and a privateer, go figure. It’s kind of a classic chemistry, sailor-hero type and pirate. Many moons ago, when August was first conceived and was still a female character, his love interest was a half-orc bard named Benji, but he’s since been written out of August’s original story and has been replaced byyy….Iona Howell, August’s canon love interest. The ferocious, emotionally unstable illuminator/wizard who is trying her best to get her shit together, and August’s on and off again girlfriend.

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Pre-defection Iona was probably capable of killing August in a manic/jealous rage, though I think at the end of the day August is more powerful than her and would probably have killed her first as long as she didn’t get the drop on him. Ganzrig also threatened to slaughter and dismember him, but that’s just what Orcs do, I don’t know if she would have actually killed him.

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: August is from an early/mid 1800’s level society and so movies really overstimulate to the point that he generally avoids them. He resists most new technology at first blush and is very, very stubborn, though there are a few benefits that he cannot deny. He’s not really much of a reader either, his education stopped when he was somewhere between the ages of 12-14 so he reads kind of slow and his own handwriting isn’t very good, but that still puts him at an advantage among other sailors. He probably likes poetry because a) the ladies like to be read poetry and b) it’s something that could be easily translated into song or read aloud, which is his preferred method of receiving media. Epic poems, sea shanties, etc. August would go to a play before he would go to a movie, and would be perfectly entertained by being read aloud to.

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: August used to be an atheist before his world’s god, Al Fortuna, decided that he was their new favorite person. Now he just thinks Gods are assholes and generally does not like any media that presents gods as anything other than fickle and more trouble than they’re worth. And he absolutely, tremendously hates the idea of things being ordained by “fate”.

Talents and/or Powers: A couple fun ones! August is ambidextrous and can wield a pistol and sabre at the same time, and is in generally very nimble. But the most notable thing about him is that August possesses a passive ability called the Miasma of Misfortune, which is tied to Ganzrig’s Fortune’s Favor. While bad luck does not fall on August’s own head, he exudes an aura of bad luck to people in his vicinity, which gets worse the longer that he is exposed to them without reprieve. August has learned to manipulate the Miasma to a degree, and can either reel it in or dump all of its focus on a single target, usually ending with some foolish prick stabbing himself on ‘accident’. Celair has also been teaching him some cantrips. He is from a low-magic setting, so he is not very magically potent.

Why Someone Might Love Them: August is easy to become infatuated with, but not easy to be in a relationship with, and there is a string of broken hearted maidens behind him. He is dashing and courageous, with an intriguingly intense personality, and is confident, but not in a way that dips into vanity. He’s also very earnest, a reliable, straightforward man that keeps his head on straight and seldom shows his temper (though when he does, watch the fuck out). Though not an intellectual, August is very cunning, and has a dry sense of humor that some appreciate. He’s also quite chivalrous, and I think there is a very classical, romantic element to him.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: When I say that August is not easy to be in a relationship with, it’s because he’s a vault and values his privacy to a fault. He seldom wears his heart on his sleeve, and prefers to keep his stronger emotions to himself, for better or worse, and has trouble expressing his feelings even when it’d be in his interest to. He’s the most stubborn man alive, and would sooner double down on something than let someone he doesn’t like be right, making him just a little spiteful. August is resistant to too much external change, especially with technology. He’s also quite dreadfully serious and finds people who are too goofy kind of offputting (ex: he tolerates Wybjorn, but probably wouldn’t have anything to do with him if they did not have friends in common). Someone may also find his priorities shrewd at first glance - his number one concern is providing for his family, and so he is easily motivated by money. Because he is very private, he is not likely to divulge information on his personal life, leading his motivations often obscured and at times misinterpreted. He does not care very much about what other people think, and so seldom clarifies. 

How They Change: August changes a bit over the course of Godslaughter, but not very much, as he has mostly existed in an NPC capacity. The thing he will have to learn is to be emotionally candid with his family when he returns home, because they are going to have a lot of questions and he’s not going to want to answer any of them, but he HAS to. And things aren’t going to be the way he left them. Most of August’s challenges in this department are on the horizon.

Why You Love Them: August has a somewhat colorful meta history. He is my oldest character that I still use regularly (at over 5 years old) besides Calvin, and he was conceived at not a very good point in my life. I had been quietly struggling with my gender identity for many years, and had found myself pushing against my constraints in fiction, but by the time I got to the original August, I was exhausted and beaten down. The first pass at August was a very sad, somber character that was a lady crossdressing to work as a sailor. I’d hit on something important, but wasn’t really ready to open myself up to what it might mean, which, aside from being conceived during the worst year of my life, lead to Kismet collecting dust. Fastforward to 2018 when I was looking for Gods for Godslaughter, and remembered that I had always liked Al Fatima and Al Fortuna, and took another look at August by association. By now I was out as transmasc and decided it’d be a good step for myself to retool August into a character that I could be proud of - a confident, earnest person who wanted nothing more than to be the captain of his own fate and to protect and provide for the people he loves. I don’t really like talking publicly about my trans-ness, I (like August) have come to the conclusion it’s not really anyone’s business but mine, but my journey is inseparable from him. And that’s ok. August is my tiny hope that someday I can get a genre fiction story to a publisher that’s about a trans person, but is not about his transition or his coming out.