#like you can't tell me she's not the only one who can put him in his place

[freakattack]

Favorite obscure Mario characters?

GLOM

The light of my fucking life. As a lifelong koopalinghead and specifically iggyhead i slurped up the Nintendo Adventure Books like a slug slurps slime and obviously a connoisseur of my caliber would immediately latch onto this thing. It's a cloning machine Iggy made that turns sand into clones but more importantly it is a 15 ft tall clanking clunking contraption with googly eyes (to see what it's cloning, natch), a stack of CRT monitors that each display a different horror B-movie at all times, and a constant trail of slime oozing from its tank treads. If this is not your favorite Mario character of all time then you're an idiot.

2. DOUGHNUTEER

I might be the only person who cares about doughnuteer and I couldn't tell you why. Actually I can, it's because he reminds me of a little shrew

And I like doughnuts.

3. PIRANHA SUE

In addition to the Nintendo Adventure Books i also lapped up the corresponding Nintendo Comics System, which followed a similar continuity in the absence of more official sources of mario lore. I never appreciated piranha sue as much as I should have in my youth but after revisiting these comics a couple years ago i can safely say that she is the greatest bootleg piranha plant I have ever met and it is an honor to witness her evil human teeth. I want her in mario baseball.

4. HERMAN SMIRCH

Herman smirch is a terrible person and character but I am transfixed by his awfulness and so he is here. Growing up the Game Boy Comic was like the evil counterpart to the Nintendo Comics System, but now that I'm grown up and evil myself I can truly appreciate the depths of its depravity. The gist of Herman Smirch is that he is a shitty loser republican from new jersey who obtains a game boy that, through the will of Tatanga (who lives in the game boy), manipulates him into committing increasingly violent crimes until he has embroiled himself in an international military conflict. The game boy comic was supposed to make people want to buy the game boy but in practice placed it center stage in a slow burn of this already terrible man's spiral into insanity. What a yarn. I have shown a highlights reel of herman's wacky antics here but if you're too lazy to click that link then I at least want you to see this:

5. FRACKTAIL

Fracktail is comparatively not obscure at all but I don't care it's my list I'll cry if I want to. If I put fracktail here then I would technically be justified in also putting other mario rpg all-stars like Bowyer and TEC-XX and Valentina but I won't go that far, Fracktail can be here on their behalf. Anyway, the first time I saw this thing I screamed, because I thought I was going to have to fight it, and then it was friendly and then I loved it forever. And then a stupid bastardly clown came and destroyed everything and ruined my life but this isn't about him. I love you Fracktail and I wish you were still here. You didn't deserve that

6. HAL 9001

Moving on

7. WOOSTER

Before Toadsworth, there was Wooster. The original long-suffering butler to the Toadstools, Wooster was a Nintendo Comics System Special who presumably passed alongside the Mushroom King he served. There isn't much to say about his character beyond the typical trappings of Beleagured Butler, but there is one thing that makes him interesting to think about and that is the comic called "Wooster Quit". In "Wooster Quit", every Mario character is FLABBERGASTED because Wooster Quit, and they can't imagine a life without Wooster. So the whole comic is about everybody trying to get Wooster back and of course Wooster comes back and the status quo is restored. But the premise of casting this mario OC as an essential player in these characters' lives is funny to me in a meta sense because we very much do live a life without Wooster. We are living in a post-Wooster world. It just goes to show that no matter how obscure you are, you are important to someone. Even if that someone is me.

8. ROACHIE

Roachie is the cockroach living in Wario's brain. One morning, she crawled up his nose, which Wario was horrified by but not for the reason you might think: "Is little roachie gone for good?!?!!?" As a devout cockroach appreciator, I was touched by Wario's genuine concern for God's most darling creature. Fortunately, little roachie was not indeed gone for good, because that very night, Wario heard her walking around inside his skull. Yippie! Hooray! We can only hope that she is living a nice life up there to this day. Hope is all we have.

9. BRAWL DOLL

This will come as no surprise to those who know me, but if you don't know me: fellas, I fucking love ventriloquist dolls. Charlie mccarthy was my idol growing up. I'll never be half the dummy he was. So a wario-branded wooden doll is basically my ant bait. Brawl Doll is what Geno could have been if Square wasn't full of squares.

10. THE BEETLES 'R' US SNIFIT

They put me in a mario game

[setmeatopthepyre]

WIP wednesday enabled/tagged-ish by @peapodbond & @geddyqueer <3 really felt like sharing this slice of antarct-fic. enjoy!

-

Katie slides the bottle towards him. “Drink up, kid. The rations don't carry over.”

Buck happily obliges. They drink in companionable quiet for a while, Katie occasionally providing commentary on the people coming and going or doing the rounds, telling Buck who they are, how long they've been coming to the Ice, pointing out the winterovers and the ones with interesting stories.

They're watching two pilots (“That's Hisham, helo pilot, third timer. Girlfriend's a kiwi, she's at Scott base. Other fella's one of the Canadians with Ken-Borek. Loïc, think it was. Fixed wing pilot. They tend not to get along.”) get into an argument that both men seem too tired to actually escalate, when Buck speaks up.

“Katie, have you ever been in love?”

She dangles her bottle from between her finger tips, eyes still on the argument unfolding. “Sure.”

He props his head up on his hand to look at her. “What happened?”

Katie levels her steely gaze at him but something she sees makes her soften a little. Shrugs. “She ran off to go study insular dwarfism in Madagascan chameleons. Left me behind.”

Buck's eyebrows raise along with the corners of his mouth. “Oh. S-so you're--”

She nods, taps her bottle against his. Leans in and mock-whispers, “There's more of us than y'think, kid. Even out here.” Considers it. “Perhaps especially out here. The Ice tends to attracts people like us.”

Buck watches her take a swig of her drink and lets the words sink in. “Wait, what do you mean, 'people like us?'”

Her pale eyebrows inch towards the edge of her bandana. “What do you think I mean, Buckley?” She gestures at herself. “The gays, the dykes, the-- whatever you are. You know. The queers.”

“Oh.” Something uncomfortable twists in his gut. “I-I'm not--”

Katie leans back, genuine surprise written across her face. “Well I'm sorry, kid. I could'a sworn last night you spent all of three beers waxing poetic about your helo guy.”

Buck makes a face. “W-well. He-- he's not my... but--”

“You're in love with this man, yeah?”

And he can't help the lovestruck smile that's tugging at the corners of his mouth, dips his head. “Yeah.”

“And you're a guy.”

“Uh, o-obviously.”

“So you're...” she gestures and Buck realizes he's supposed to finish the sentence. He shifts in his seat, discomfort gnawing at him.

“Yeah, I, uh. Yes, I-I guess that would make me...” he trails off, looks at her pleadingly, not sure if he wants her to give him all the answers or just drop the subject entirely.

“So, what, are you homophobic?”

Katie's raspy voice still carries, and Buck casts a panicked glance around the bar. Thankfully, no one seems to have heard her. Or they're really good at hiding it. “No! No. No, of-- of course not. I-I'm... I've always been an ally.”

She raises her eyebrows. “An ally who's in love with a man but can't even say out loud that he's... what? Gay? Bi?”

He gives her a desperate look from where he has his face practically pressed against the tabletop. “Right? I-I should know, shouldn't I? How-- How can I-I not know?”

He's whining. That was definitely a whine.

As if by some miracle, Katie looks less unimpressed with him than she usually does, which doesn't say a whole lot, especially considering the fact that she's not even looking at him right now. She's staring off into space as she takes a long swig from her bottle. When she speaks, her voice is uncharacteristically gentle.

“You came all the way out here to follow the guy you're in love with,” she says, slowly, as if trying to explain something to a particularly dense but, arguably, loved child. Then she sighs, puts a calloused hand on his. “Look, kid, you don't need to choose from a whole bunch of labels. Hell, the only labels I knew 'til well into my thirties was dykes and fags.” And Buck tries not to flinch, but she clocks him anyway if the roll of her eyes is anything to go by.

She pats his hand. “You don't need any labels at all if y'don't want them. God knows they probably never think about it.” She gestures at the other bar patrons with her bottle. “But there's not needing a label, and there's bein' ashamed of what that label means, and a lot of us older folk used the former as an excuse for the latter for a long time. Claiming that label means something to us. It doesn't have to, for you, but if your guy spent any time in the closet, it might mean a whole lot to him.”

Buck takes a moment for the words to sink in. “What, so he thinks I'm... ashamed of my feelings for him?”

She pats his hand twice more before removing hers and leaning back. “Hell if I know, I'm not a mind reader.”

-

no pressure tagging @ambernotember @sugarpenchant @geddyqueer @beanarie @epiphainie @leashybebes @iphyslitterator @rcmclachlan @trombonechurchill

[changbinsboobs]

Now I’m invested 🥱 who do u think is ideal type of each members from what u acquired by your readings and perspectives you have of them

Skz ideal types examples

(Not entirely tarot confirmed)

Well for chan i did one already + megan fox is SOOO his type🤌🏻👏🏻 i also think he likes salma hayek.

For Lee know - i can't think of any idol that would be his ideal type physically cuz tbh i don't remember anymore what it was, but personality wise i think he would be into someone like suga, soyeon and...thats about the people i can think off😅 sadly i don't really watch much variety shows and know barely anything about anyones personalities aside from skz and maybe a bit of bts cuz i used to be really i to them years ago.

Changbin - chaewon (le sserafim), sophia kataeye, tzuyu, most aoa members, he really likes jimin i think he might've had a crush on her or something, her and chaewons cards were the only ones showing crush vibes, not just ideal type. He also really likes Chanmi, other honorable mentions are hyejeong, seolhyun, yuna, min...wait...i think he likes all of them now that i properly look at it again. Cuz now i see he really liked choa too but he seemed out of reach or something? Like he didn't have a chance with her? (As if he did with the others🥲) (don't come at me i think he was just a teen when he liked them) (and yes his is long i did like 10 readings on him deal with it) oh and surprisingly the itzy girls are also very much his type as well apart from yeji. Ryujin fits with him a lot personality wise, he has fantasized about chaeryong some time (probably in the past), he likes lia's sassiness ( he likes sassy bossy classy women, im seeing slavic russian trophy wife vibes) he likes yuna overall, probably especially physically, and for yeji there's not much, he's just unsure about her, doesn't really grab him, isnt really his style.

Also honorable mentions that i didn't read on but assume for him are: go minsi, kristine froseth & lucy hale in pll, also maybe satah hyland, alexa damie

Hyunjin - for him the ABSOLUTE ULTIMATE ideal type im seeing is HUNTER SCHAEFER!!!!!! I think she's the PERFECT!!! Example. She just looks aethereal, classy, beautiful, tall and slender just georgous! When i think of his ideal type this is what pops up in my head. Also dome honorable mentions are: esther exposito (before her new face), rachel mcaddams, kristine froseth, grace van dien, maybe that model that was in every movie a decade ago. I forgot her name she was the witch in suicide squat and in paper towns. Or that other model that was very popular back then, i think she was an angel and her name had something like taylor, or turner in it??? Ugh sry cant rememebr.

Han - not really seeing much there as i havent really picked up on his type too but for some reason i imagine japanese people in a rock band or something of that sort😂 also tell me why im thinking of alice in birderland😂 maybe he really likes the series or likes someone from there. ...oh...ok...nvm. Moving on!

Felix - chaeyoung from twice, barbie fererra from euphoria, maybe hyuna?, hwasa, halsey?, grimes, avril lavigne, bebe rhexa, the bug empath girl from guardians of the galaxy. Ik those are all so random...but people kept popping up into my head i thought i should put it in here, i don't think its all that random at all.

Seungmin - Wonyeong! Nana, anna hathaway, also suddenly im thinking of sandra bullock😂, seo yeji

I.n - arin from singles inferno 4! Absolutely😤, iu, son yejin, tokyo from money heist (both korean and spanish ones, and of course someone that gives sugar mommy vibes but i can't think of anyone like that right now.

[rarepairdumpster]

Casino AU Part 1

Pairing: Viktor/Silco (Arcane) Rating: M C/W: Mob Boss Silco, Viktor in a Dress, Teasing, Who will survive between two incorrigible flirts

Silco running a casino for the mob and Viktor being his pretty young husband that he met when he caught him counting cards.

Silco is completely smitten and marries him after only a couple months. He knows Viktor has his own agenda but trusts him implicitly. Viktor running most of the political bribery because he knows exactly what to say.

As long as Silco can make Viktor comfortable, he knows he doesn't have to worry.

That first night when Silco catches him though. Leaning over Viktor's shoulder, all confident and sexy, and Viktor thinks its gonna be a night of flirtation.

But Silco purrs in his ear instead, "You know, boy, card counting is against the rules."

Viktor's a little impressed that someone caught him and he still smiles like it was a compliment. 

"Is it?" He asks, tilting his face a little towards Silco. "I'm afraid I wouldn't know anything about that."

Silco tuts.

"Telling lies to the man who runs this place is a poor choice." His voice sharpens, gets louder. "Guards!"

Viktor turns fully towards Silco, letting his foot trail along Silco's leg. He reaches up and rubs the lapel of Silco's brocade vest between his thumb and forefinger, looking up at him sweetly. 

"I don't think we need to get them involved, do we?"

"I suppose alternative methods could be considered." Silco arches his brow, straightens, and steps back from those flirtatious hands. "Get up. Now."

Viktor smirks and goes to reach for his winnings, but Sevika has already sidled up next to him. She puts her hand down on the chips and shakes her head when Viktor follows the very muscular arm up to see who belonged to it.

He instead reaches for his cane and lightly hops off the stool towards Silco.

Silco leads him to the back office, and holds the door open so Viktor can step in ahead of him.

Sevika guards the door once Silco steps in and closes it.

Silco motions towards the empty chair in front of the desk and Viktor walks over and sits, crossing his legs and letting the slit of his blue satin dress open up over his knees. 

Silco walks up close to Viktor and leans up against the front of his desk, reaching behind and grabbing a cigar. 

"Now then," he chops the end of the cigar and sticks it in the corner of his mouth, "I'm afraid I can't have you manipulating my tables like that." Silco flicks his lighter then takes a puff. 

He then offers a light to Viktor, who has taken a cigarette out. Viktor looks up at Silco as he leans forward and accepts the flame at the end of his cigarette. "I'm happy to manipulate other things."

Silco smirks, but his gaze hardens.

"That line won't work on me, boy." 

He leans back and takes another slow puff.

"You have two choices. One: I can have you blacklisted from every casino from here to Timbuktu. Two: you take a position here."

Viktor raises an eyebrow, then takes a drag of his cigarette and breathes it out slowly. "A position?" He leans forward a little. "And I'm sure you don't mean the kind I'm usually offered."

"Deal cards for the House."

Viktor chuckles and leans back in the chair. "I'm afraid those uniforms aren't my style."

Silco smirked. "A plant, then. Watch the tables for me, play a little, flirt with guests if you like," he noticed he had Viktor's attention again. "You'll learn signals that will alert security to counters and others that may be trying to cheat the house."

When Viktor leans back, the hem of his dress slides that bit higher, and Silco gets the faintest tease of shadowy, bare skin between Viktor's thighs.

Silco absolutely looks, considers it briefly, and then pushes it from his mind.

He was here to work, not fuck.

"And would you be watching me?" Viktor asks, taking a drag of his cigarette.

Viktor's eyes are absolutely full of mischief, the little tart

"Some nights," Silco admits, and sees the corner of Viktor's mouth twitch up. "I do have other business to attend to."

"And what will you pay me?" Viktor raises an eyebrow. "I'll have to make it worth my while."

"All of our staff are well compensated." Silco taps the ashes from his cigar into his ashtray, and takes another puff. He let's out a ring of smoke before adding silkily, "There might be a bonus from time to time."

Viktor pretended to think about it, but if he was honest, he didn't have anywhere else to go. The other casinos he had been caught at only gave him a local ban, with a little coercion. It was clear Silco wouldn't be so easily swayed and he could be banned from every casino in the city.

"Fine then," Viktor shrugged. "When do I start?"

"Tomorrow night."

"I suppose that means I'm free tonight," Viktor smirked, a glint in his eye as he took another drag.

"But not free to roam the casino," Silco answers, a smirk of his own pulling at his lips.

Viktor stands up, leaning on his cane a little closer to Silco. "I don't mind changing my plans a little," Viktor leans closer next to Silco's ear. "I have a feeling our meeting was more fortuitous than any chips out there."

Silco turns his head slightly, breathes in the sweet and floral perfume, and eyes the curve of his jaw. Imagines biting it. Feels his cock stir at the thought.

Viktor leaves a soft, lingering kiss on Silco's cheek, then steps away towards the door. He raps on it, then turns to Silco with a smile. 

"We are done, yes?"

"Yes," Silco confirms, though his voice is slightly huskier than before.

Sevika opens the door and Viktor nods. "See you here tomorrow, Mr. Silco," Viktor winks before he steps though the door.

Silco sighs.

Sevika rolls her eyes -- because of course Silco was going to bend the little tart over his desk at some point.

Part 2

Arch + Woods

[slutforguns]

the club spying on jerry and the girl (reader) hes hanging out with cuz i feel like jerry is the only one who could have a slightly normal relationship with a girl and the club would hate it

I wanna thank you for giving me an excuse to write for my favorite character 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

Also yeah, your right. They'd fucking HATE it lol

Teen Jerry x fem!reader || Sneaking around

Josh let out an annoyed grunt as Pete was pushed against him in the tiny bush, while Bill stayed quiet, keeping his binoculars up and pointed at Jerry's window.

"Can you tell me why we're here, Bill?" Josh complained with a slightly bitter tone.

"Shut it, fatty. We're making sure Jerry doesn't die." Bill responded, sounding a little annoyed by the, in his eyes, pointless question.

"Die? To that chick?" Pete piped up, a little confused. "Ya kidding? She seems harmless."

But Bill just rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Jerry sat awkwardly on his couch, the movie he put on playing in the background as he tried to subtly glance over at you.

"S-So... You into Lord of The Rings?"

"Hm?" You hummed with confusion before realizing. "O-Oh! The movie? Yeah, it's good." You said awkwardly, looking away with a slightly embarrassed expression.

"Y-Yeah, I think so too..." He said with a nervous chuckle.

His knee bounced anxiously as he looked at the TV, his palms growing sweatier and sweatier by the minute.

A few minutes of awkward and tense silence passed over the two of you, before Jerry cleared his throat to get your attention.

"D-Do you want any snacks? I have popcorn?"

You nodded quietly, still not looking at him.

Bill scowled a little. "Jesus, what is he doing?" He asked himself under his breath.

"I dunno, can I go home now?" Pete asked with a bit so pleased tone as he played.

"No, Pete, we can't! If we do, we're gonna lose Jerry to some random pair of boobs!"

Pete just rolled his eyes. "God, fine.. fuck man." He mumbled under his breath as he sunk back down into the bushes.

Jerry came back with the popcorn, and awkwardly placed the bowl between the both of you.

You looked over at the bowl, then at Jerry, then at the TV screen.

As you reached for the bowl, Jerry did as well. (Ok it's cliche, but shut up.)

Jerry jumped a little at the contact and quickly pulled away.

You frowned a little at that. You let out a small sigh and stood up from the couch.

"Y'know, this was really sweet, but I-I should get going." You said sheepishly as you rubbed your forearm with your hand, shifting awkwardly where you stood.

Jerry frowned and reached out to grab your arm. "W-Wait! I-I just-..." He trailed off, not really sure what to say.

"Oh my God, what is he doing?" Bill mumbled under his breath as he continued stalking watching the two of you from a far.

Jerry looked up at you nervously. "You... You don't have to leave, I just-... Y'know, you, uh..." Crap. He has no idea what to say.

He let out a soft sigh and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "L-Look, I know I'm not.. the best option, but I-I really like you. And I wanna prove it besides watching some stupid movie with you." He said, looking away so he wouldn't die of embarrassment. He can't believe he just called The Lord of The Rings stupid!

You looked down at him, and smiled just a bit. You reached out and cupped his face, before pressing your lips gently against his.

Bill's jaw dropped. "NO FUCKING WAY!" He shouted with rage and annoyance.

Josh looked over at Bill, and Pete woke up from the nap he was taking and shot up.

"What, Bill? What'd you see?" Josh asked eagerly, trying to grab the binoculars to see what was going on.

When Josh finally got the binoculars, he pointed them at Jerry's window, and his jaw dropped. "No way..."

Pete rolled his eyes. "Oh c'mon," he said as he snatched the binoculars, "you guys are being- holy shit Jerry's kissing her!" Pete exclaimed with a bit of surprise.

Jerry sat there frozen, before you pulled away. He was already missing the feeling of your lips on his.

You looked down at him, and smiled. "There's and ice cream shop a few blocks away. You, uh... Wanna go there instead?" You asked with a slightly nervous chuckle.

Jerry nodded. "Be-de-be-de-be-de... I-I mean yeah! I think I have twenty bucks if you're up for it!"

"I'd love that, Jer."

[theloveoffootball10]

ғᴏᴏʟɪsʜ - ʟᴀɴᴅᴏ ɴᴏʀʀɪs

complete masterlist

ʟᴀɴᴅᴏ ɴᴏʀʀɪs x ᴏᴄ Something a little bit different from me tonight. A very old one shot reimagined as a Lando fic because I can’t help myself.

ᴡʜᴇɴ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇ sᴛʀᴇɴɢᴛʜ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏs ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴍᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ'ᴍ ᴡᴇᴀᴋ 'ᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪ ʙᴇʟɪᴇᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ

Five years ago when Lando Norris asked me to be his girlfriend, I was the happiest I've ever been we may have been young but we were in love. I never thought one person could make me feel like I was on cloud nine everyday the way he did. I had the life so many dream about; the most loving boyfriend, amazing friends, the nice house, the nice car, the luxury holidays. I had it all. It sounds perfect doesn't it? Don't get me wrong it's an amazing lifestyle until the person you love more than anything in the world cheats on you. Not just once but regularly. That's when none of that stuff matters anymore it becomes a world of anxiety, doubt and worry. Where is he? Who is he with? Will he come home tonight? This is the life I'm living now as Lando Norris's fiancée. 

"Where've you been?" I ask Lando casually as he strolls into the bedroom of our Monaco apartment. Deep down I know where he's been and truthfully it makes me feel sick but I don't actually want to hear the words come from his mouth. In my head it will be more devastating to actually hear him say what I know has been going on behind my back for months now rather than acting oblivious.

"Just out with some friends, you should come next time" Lando says as he starts getting ready for bed. I don't understand how he's so blasé and how he can act like he's doing nothing wrong.

"That would be interesting wouldn't it" I mumble to myself as I turn the TV off and pull the duvet over myself, cocooning myself in.

"What was that?" Lando asks as he stands in the doorway of our en-suite.

"I said maybe one day. Night Lando" I say turning my bedside lamp off to put an end to our conversation. Hearing the bathroom door close I finally let the tears roll down my cheeks. This seems to have became a more regular thing lately. Lando comes home late with no explanation and I cry myself to sleep. Thinking about our relationship I question how things have got this bad between us. How have we allowed things to get this bad?

"You cried yourself to sleep again last night didn't you?" My best friend Sarah says the next day as I sit in her kitchen.

"What makes you say that?" I don't even know why I'm trying to deny it. It's obvious when you look at me and sadly she's been through this with me so many times she knows the signs.

"Your eyes are red and puffy. The bags under your eyes are something else and your mood tells me that you're beating yourself up. Why do you let him do this to you Taylor?" Sarah says not even needing to ask what's going on.

"I love him Sarah. I haven't actually asked him about anything yet but it's the same signs as the last four times" saying things out loud makes me realise what I'm actually letting Lando do to me.

"Taylor get some self respect! This might sound harsh but I can't watch Lando hurt you any more. He's cheated on you multiple times! You know about four girls he's admitted to but let’s be honest there's probably a hell of a lot more and every time you keep running back to him. You throw him out for a few weeks maybe two months at the most and he begs enough and promises to never do it again and you take him back because you miss having him around! No one deserves to be treated the way he's treating you" listening to Sarah I know she's right but I can't physically admit that my relationship with Lando has ran its course. It's destroying me mentally. 

"It's not all bad though and I know he does love me" I'm aware I sound pathetic but I truthfully believe that Lando does still love me. We’ve been together for so long now, he’s the only one I think about when I think about forever.

"This isn't how you treat someone you love. Look I'm not going to say anymore because you know I have a strong opinion on this and we don't agree so rather than this ending in an argument I'm going to stop talking. I've told you what I think but sadly I can't make any decisions for you. If I could he'd have been binned off a long time ago" I know everyone who knows me would be happy if I left Lando for good but I can't, I don't want to be alone. I can't picture a life without him in it. I feel like I've put so much time and effort into our relationship to throw it away.

sᴏ ɪ sᴛᴏᴘ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ ᴛᴏ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄ��ᴀᴛᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴇɴ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴs ᴛʜᴇ sᴀᴍᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɪɴ'ᴛ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ

"Will you come in with me? I know exactly what I'll be going in there to and I'm not prepared for that" I say as we pull into the garage at mine and Lando’s apartment and I see the strange car in one of our parking bays.

"Taylor this is so wrong. We've been away for a hen weekend and now you're worried to even go in your own home because you know your dick of a boyfriend has most likely cheated on you, again. However I can see how anxious you are so I will come with you but I'm telling you now I'm not being held responsible for my actions if he has got a girl in there" getting out of the car with Sarah I'm terrified. I know Lando has cheated on me probably too many times to count but I've never actually caught him with another girl let alone with another girl in our home.

"Lando?" I say walking into the kitchen not seeing Lando anywhere. This just confirms to me that he's still in our bed with a slut. Yes I'm going to call her a slut even though I don't know her. Mine and Lando’s relationship has been in the public eye for as long as I remember and there's photos around the house of us together. There's no way she can't know about me. Walking into our bedroom I feel sick. Lando is still sleeping with the fake red headed slut next to him and I feel like I can't breathe.

"You don't deserve this Taylor. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know anymore Sarah. I could always block it out when I didn't see anything but how will I get this image out of my head? She's in my bed" I say. I'm angry and I'm shaking but I don't know how to act.

"Not for much longer she won't be" Sarah says walking over to the bedside table where she grabs the bottle of water that is sat there. Before I know it she's pouring water over Lando and whoever that is in my bed "get up now, both of you" I don't think I've ever heard Sarah so angry in the whole time I've known her.

"What the fuck are you doing? You absolute psycho!" Lando shouts as he jumps out of bed.

"How could you?" I say when Lando looks at me actually realising I'm there and not just Sarah. I'm scarily calm and I'm even scaring myself. I don't even shout, I haven't got it in me to raise my voice.

"Taylor babe this meant nothing" always the same speech. It never meant anything when Lando tries to justify his actions.

"Don't you think you better leave?" I say looking at the girl in my bed "I don't care who the fuck you are but get the fuck out of my bed and get the fuck out of my house. Now!" Seeing the look on Sarah’s face I know she never expected that tone to come from me, hell I didn't even expect it.

I don't take my eyes of the red head as she climbs out of bed gathering her clothes, within minutes I hear her leave the house. That's when I let the tears flow free and Lando gets the brunt of my anger. Next thing I know I'm throwing things at him, I'm hitting his chest and I can't stop the tears.

"Why would you do this to me!"

"I'm sorry! It was a mistake. She didn't mean anything to me. Taylor she's nothing compared to you" Lando says trying to pull me into his arms but I resit and pull back.

"Don't touch me!" I scream at Lando not wanting to be anywhere near him.

"You disgust me Norris! You've got the most amazing girl and you treat her like this! You don't deserve her! She should've left you the first time she found out you cheated" Sarah shouts at Lando and I know she’s right. I should have left years ago.

"Keep out of this Sarah! This is between me and Taylor! Why are you even here?"

"Because your fiancée was too scared to come into her own home by herself because she knew you'd have a slut here! Look what you're doing to her! You're destroying her piece by piece!" Sarah has so much built up anger towards Lando I can see this exploding as both of them raise their voices at each other.

"Stop it! Stop it now! Both of you!" I scream nearly hysterical looking between my fiancée and best friend "I know you don't like each other but stop! Sarah will you give us a minute please?" I say knowing I need to speak to Lando alone.

"I'll be in the kitchen" Sarah says giving Lando daggers as she leaves the bedroom.

"Tay..." Lando starts but I cut him off.

"Don't bother Lando. I don't want to hear it. From my perspective you have no excuse for any of this. We were supposed to get married! Christ it's not like you don't get sex from me because you do! I could understand a little bit more if that was the case! I want you to leave" I say determined this will be the last time.

"Taylor please don't. I love you"

"This isn't how you treat someone you love Lando. Just go please. Stay with a friend, stay with your family, stay with one of the sluts you've been shagging behind my back I don't care anymore. All I know is that I want you to pack a bag and leave. There never will be a wedding" I say throwing my engagement ring on the bed before walking out of the bedroom not giving Lando the chance to respond. This is the final straw I can't go through this anymore. After five years I need to plan a life without Lando Norris by my side.

[fitz]

"I mean, I always liked you, Kie."

[sastielsfandom]

So many people do things out of obligation they can't believe the lengths people go out of love.

[theriverdalereviewer]

everyone jumping to team kamala we will never experience true freedom in this country

[catcatb0y]

I have so much respect for people who just put their blorbo into every interation with other characters, as if everyone loves their blorbo and it's SO fun until half the fandom is blorbo-inserting with that one character you just can't fucking stand and every time you try to look for stuff of your own blorbos, they are THERE, HAUNTING.

[teaboot]

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

[pears-trinkets]

.

[attractthecrows]

man i'd really like for revallen to encounter the ghost of his father but with his skillset it's just not likely

[uglygirltrying]

insecure princess!reader x barbarian!ghost cw: angst, brief sexual mentions, bad writing, confusing ghost insecure princess!reader who has never had any suitors. her sisters overshadow her. her mother pities her, afraid that her daughter will never marry.

fortunately, due to an alliance that her father has made, she finally marries. he's a barbaric prince, shameless and perverted. mean and scary.

princess!reader who tries her best to make love kindle between them, to live the fantasy that she's always had. she rubs lavender oil on her neck, tugs one of her nightgowns straps down her shoulder, to be desirable like the women in paintings. her lady-in-waiting helps her make her hair silky, and her dresses pleasing to the eye. but you can't put lipstick on a pig.

the prince only has her from the back. it's a relief that he wants to make love to her, but at the same time it breaks her heart. she wants to have a face that he wants to look at.

the princess' anxiety only worsens when she notices that the prince's older brother keeps looking at her. she's not used to attention from men, she doesn't know how to interpret it. he might want to hurt her, show everyone just how disgusting she is. or maybe he laughs with his mates about her, just like everyone else. or maybe... he likes the look of her, maybe he'd like to tug her nightgown down and have her chest to chest. it's a stupid thought, she shouldn't entertain them and embarrass herself. and he's her husbands brother!! it's wrong!

then, one night during a feast, her husband's drunk antics drive her to walk away. she wanders the dark hallways of the castle, moonlight and candlelight illuminating the paintings on the walls.

the princess stops to look out of a window, a lone tear running down her cheek. it's an unending weight on her shoulder. she hates the presence of other princess', the prettier princess', they only remind her of what she isn't. knights don't fight for her, artists don't paint her beauty, and princes don't ask her to dance at balls.

a noise makes her jump out of her thoughts, she whips her head around to look down at the hallway. it's him. her husband's brother, ghost. he stands few feet away from the princess, looking her up and down.

"c'mon," he urges, his voice deep and rough. ghost nods, gesturing down the corridor, to the feast. before the princess can even respond, he has already turned around and began to walk back. but she doesn't follow.

the princess stays in place, looking down at the floor as she sniffles. why should she go back there? they don't want her there. the man in armor turns back around when he doesn't hear the princess following after him. ghost lets out a sigh, as he hears her sniffle. with couple of steps, he's standing in front of her.

"why do you cry, princess?" he mutters, reaching up and gently holding her cheek in his scarred hand.

"i hate him..." it's a silent whisper, lost to the silence of the cold castle. her face twists as she fights against more tears.

"walls have ears, and they will twist your words into treason," ghost says firmly, shutting the girl up before she can be her own doom. his thumb run over the bottom of her eye, wiping up the tears that spill. ghost sighs and leans down, pressing a small kiss between her eyebrows.

"sweet princess, you need to return to the feast... i cannot take you away tonight," he whispers huskily.

"take me away...?" she repeats, even quieter, her brows knitted in confusion.

"if i killed him, i could claim you for myself," ghost murmurs. he looks down at her, letting the princess ingest his words.

her eyes are wide in shock. kill? for her? that is the most romantic thing she's ever heard. is this what courting is? if so, then she only wants more of it. she can't tell if he's mocking her, but there's something in his voice that makes her stomach stir with excitement. the wine in his breath makes her consider for a moment that he's messing with her, but she also wants to enjoy the attention.

"h-how would you take his life?" the girl straightens her back, trying to sound more confident.

"i would slit his throat, as easy as slicing a warm pie," ghost says it as if it's nothing, his running along her cheek. "i could take you far away, we would live in a house by the sea and you could wear pretty dresses for only me to see."

her breath hitches, feeling that flutter in her stomach. jesus christ. her hands clutch onto her cute little dress as she squeezes her thighs together. now she regrets giving her virginity to that twig, when a man like this could've had it, a man who truly deserves her purity.

"now be a smart girl and return to the feast." ghost murmurs and turns to walk back to the feast.

what?

she quickly reaches forward, desperately clinging onto the man's arm, to keep him there. if she let's go now, he might just come across a wench or two and change his mind. "b-but you said that-!" she stammers, utterly confused by the change in the air. there's no one there for her. no one who she's welcome to. her heart aches. she thought that this prince wanted her. what did she do wrong? ghost scoffs, gently prying the girls hands off his forearm. "you think it’ll be like a story, a hero slaying the villain and sweeping the princess off her feet. but this is real life," his tone is suddenly colder, more detached. “you’re chasing something that will never be yours.”

her hands stay in the air for a moment when he pulls away from her, reluctant to let go. his words sting, dig in deep and leave a pit for her to collapse in. her hands fall down and settle over her stomach as she fidgets with them.

she opens her mouth to say something, but the words escape her. it all changed so fast. some wench must've bewitched him, taken him from her. why can't she have anything, not even a man who wants her?

he looks at her again, his gaze intense, unflinching. his expression hardens, though there’s still a part of him that almost looks regretful. and then, he just walks away.

the princess can do nothing else than stand in place and hold back tears. she's alone again. the moonlight makes her shaking hands look blue. did she misunderstand? did she wrongly assume the meaning of his words? or was she just so naive?

it hurts to think, and the thoughts themselves hurt even more. it'd better if she just went to bed. ------------------------------------

inspired by the fact that i'm ugly and never had a boyfriend

[running-in-the-dark]

went to bed early and woke up before 8am today! pretty cool. except I woke up with a bad headache and eventually had a very long nap.

I'm just so damn tired! like, no matter how much or how well or when I sleep, I'm still tired all day. so it's just pointless trying to fix my sleep schedule (when I'll just be asleep most of the day anyway).

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room