#like yeah yeah shes meant to be dislikable. do you maybe want to meditate on why they wrote her the way they did any deeper than 'on purpose

[mg549]

god i wish season 2 of h2o wasnt unwatchably misogynist 

[sweatersstyles]

washed away in you

I don’t have much to say except I appreciate your patience with me as I worked on this piece! I apologize again for all the confusion with posting and deleting and now reposting. This is the third part to my Dad!Harry series. Once again you don’t have to read those to understand this one, but I’ve linked them below in case you would like to revisit them. :)

Thank you to @taintedwonder for reading over part of this for me!

word count: 4.2k

needles tw // (small mention towards the end)

I Want Your Belly (part one) | Wonderful and Warm (part two) | writing tag | masterlist

y’all have already been so good to me but as always likes, rbs, and comments are welcome!!

//

Of all the weeks to be put on bed rest, it had to be the week that Harry started filming for his new movie role.

Technically you were on modified bed rest, which meant resting as much as possible but still moving around as necessary, but the phrase terrified Harry enough that he was doing whatever he could to keep you still. It hadn’t been an easy task, you were in your 8th month of pregnancy, quickly approaching your due date, and there still seemed to be a mountain of important things to get done before your son’s arrival.

It had only been two days since you’d started having what you thought were contractions. It had forced you and Harry to realize just how unprepared the two of you were when you had to rush out of the house at 2 a.m. with nothing packed for what could possibly be the night of your child’s appearance into the world. Just the two of you with disheveled hair and rumpled pajamas under the harsh lighting of the ER exam room. 8 hours of tests and scans and a visit from your doctor later, you returned home to fall back in bed and catch up on the sleep you had missed.

“Listen you’re both new to all this..I get it. But you’re putting too much stress on your body and that’s what caused this tonight. I know it’s hard but, take a week, relax, bed rest as much as possible. I’ll see you in my office again in a few days just to make sure everything is progressing along like we want. If there’s still too much stress on the baby, we may have to push your due date up a little earlier. But we don’t want to do that if we can avoid it.”

Currently you were in the nursery, where most of the last minute things to do remained. You were standing at the changing table, folding a set of onesies to be put away. Harry had been urging you for the past 10 minutes to sit down.

“Harry, I have been in bed all night, or as much of it as your son allowed me to be without kicking me in the ribs or pressing on my bladder. I just wanna get these folded and put away and I’ll be done.”

“Well you can at least sit while y’doing them. Or, let me finish ‘em.” His hands fall on your shoulders, gently guiding you towards the rocking chair in the corner. You gesture for him to bring the basket closer, “And why is he only my son when he’s causing you trouble?”

“Maybe cause it was your birthday treat that got us into this mess. Or because he already likes to tease us so much. Besides, you can’t do them, I have a system.”

“Yeah, a birthday treat planned by you. And I know the system, you showed me two days ago.”

“You knew the system, we changed it.”

“We? I’ve barely been home how’ve we..”

“I may have called your Mum again.” You shrug, propping your feet up on the small ottoman positioned in front of the chair, “She and I agreed it’s better this way.”

“You didn’t think it was important to notify me of this system you and y’new bestie have thought up?” He’s turned to lean his back against the changing table, arms folded across his chest. As much as he wants to be upset, he’s over the moon that you and Anne have become so much closer over the past few months. Between his mom and yours, plus your sister and his, he was thrilled to see you had so much support for days when he couldn’t be there. Anne had offered to fly out to spend the week with you, as did your mom, but you put them both off, promising you would need them more the few weeks after the birth.

“Been a little busy growing a human here, Harry. May have slipped my mind. I would’ve gotten around to it eventually.”

“Right, you can just tell me where everything goes then.” He’s already worked his way through folding the last of the pile, smiling proudly at you as you lean your head back and close your eyes, sinking further into the chair.

“Socks in the second drawer to the left, hats in the middle. If the onesies are newborn sized, they go to the right. Anything bigger than that gets tucked in the baskets by size there in the middle shelf of the closet, if you can find room.”

Between the two of your families and your group of mutual friends, you’d been given 4 baby showers over the past few months, combining with the items you and Harry had supplied for yourselves. People had been more than generous in helping stock the nursery for your little one.

“All done. How ‘bout some breakfast now?”

“You don’t have time. You have to be on set in less than an hour. I’ll make myself something in a bit. I may go back to sleep for a while, just got up to see you off and wanted to put those things away.”

“Always have time for you, angel,” He offers his hand to help you lift yourself up, “Maybe a smoothie?”

“Alright, if I let you make me a smoothie, will you take yours to go? Don’t want you to be late because of me.”

“Deal. But only if you let me tuck you back into bed before I go.”

“Deal.” You lean up slightly to accept the sweet kiss he offers before shuffling off to the kitchen together.

//

��Harry?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve decided. You’re not allowed to look.”

You knew he wasn’t listening, trying to maybe, but not really. He sits across the room at the desk in the corner of your bedroom, glasses perched on the end of his nose, guitar in his lap, journal open in front of him. He’s in writing mode, something that usually takes you at least 30 minutes to coax him from and convince him to come to bed. Not that you ever wanted to interrupt his process, but tonight you’re feeling anxious about your impending delivery, dread slowing working its way through your body. 

It had been only a few days since your follow up appointment with your doctor. She had deemed you fit to come off bed rest, but urged you to continue to try to keep your stress level to a minimum as much as possible. Easier said than done, but you were finding small ways to relax yourself when you could; meditation, music, reading. But tonight you just wanted Harry for reassurance.

In your nightly scroll through one of your recent favorite mom-to-be blogs, you had come across an article on the difficulty of delivery. You appreciated moms who were brave enough to share their stories online and this person in particular had included a video. Despite your anxiety, you clicked to watch, curiosity overriding any fear rising in your chest. 

When he finally puts away the guitar and the journal and sheds his soft purple robe to swim up the bed to settle next to you, he asks, “Were y’sayin’ something earlier, m’love? Got lost there for a bit, m’sorry.”

His writing sessions were normally done in his office or the studio, but the past few weeks he’d preferred to do them here. Liked the idea of you trying to softly hum along to a new tune he was working through, occasionally offering your opinions about what you liked or didn’t. It was rare that you disliked anything, but he liked that you didn’t shy away from being honest with him. His favorite though? The sight of you, an open book, hand always resting on the side of your belly while you read. It was just as much a comfort for him to be near you these days as it was for you.

“Yeah. I’ve decided. You’re not allowed to look when I deliver this baby.”

His head rests on your thigh, only the side of his face visible as he looks up at you, but it’s enough to see the disappointment flash before he composes himself, not wanting to upset you.

“Alright. What d’you mean by that? Like..you don’t want me in the room or..”

“No, no, I want you in the room, that was never a question. You’re just not allowed to look when I’m pushing. I watched a video and I’m traumatized and I just..”

He sits up quickly, “You watched a birthing video? Without me?”

“Yeah, earlier when you were zoned out. You’ve never seen one?”

“Never been curious enough to watch one ‘til now. Not ‘til I thought of you having our babe. Show me the one you watched?”

You’re hesitant. Truly you’re touched he’s so curious and wants to share this experience with you, but right now the thought of him seeing your body change like that is scary. He senses your unease, almost reads your mind; he knows you so well.

“Babe, s’your body. If you really don’t want me t’look, then I won’t. Just..at least show me what you watched so I can see for myself what it’s like, what you’ll go through. S’all m’askin’ for now.”

“Okay, fine,” You pat the bed next to you and he scurries up to sit, his head on your shoulder while you navigate through your browser history to find the video. You start it, but your eyes stay focused on his face.

“Y’not gonna watch it again with me?”

“No,” You drape your arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer so you can rest your head on top of his, “I’d rather watch your reactions this time around.”

You’re curious to see how he reacts to certain parts; his little gasps and winces as the video progresses. When it ends, you’re not surprised to see tears have fallen down his face and made a small wet spot on the front of his t-shirt.

“Harry, you’re not upset with me, are you?”

“‘Course not, meant what I said earlier. If you really don’t want me t’look, then I won’t..but I don’t want you to think I’ll look at you any differently after. You’re givin’ me one of the greatest gifts anyone ever has, if anything I love you more than I ever thought I could. And that’s only gonna grow once our boy’s here.”

You run your hands through his hair, not sure what to say. You’ve never had a love this big, one that envelops you so fully. The past few months have shown you just how deeply he cares for you, and just how much your own heart could stretch to fill with your overwhelming love for Harry and now the baby growing inside you.      

He doesn’t take offense to your silence, just stills your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing each of your fingertips. He slumps further down the bed, head level with your stomach. He pokes it softly through your shirt. He doesn’t even have to ask anymore, you know what he wants and you’re glad to give in to him. You scoot down to rest your head on your pillow, pulling your shirt up and tucking the fabric under your breasts.

Instantly his head rests on your tummy, a hand reaching around to lay there on the other side of it, wrapping himself around you. You reach over and turn the lamp on your bedside table off, sleep drifting it’s way through your body and mind. You let one hand fall to his back, the other one joining his arm to wrap protectively around your belly.

“Harry?”

“Hmm?” 

“You can look. If you want.”

“Y’don’t have to decide tonight. We still have a little time to plan.”

“No. I don’t want to take any of this experience from you. The whole thing’s just a bit scary though.”

“I know it is, m’terrified too. But everything’s gonna be alright. I’m gonna be there for every second of it.” 

“I know you are. You’re the only thing that’s kept me sane through all this. You’ve been so good to me, H. Putting up with all my mood swings and late night cravings and whatever I needed.” 

“I haven’t had to ‘put up’ with anything. Just want to make you and bub as happy as y’both already make me.” He turns to kiss the side of your stomach before looking up at you, “Comfy? Am I squishin’ you?”

“No, it’s nice. Don’t see how you can be comfy though.” 

“I’ll move to my pillow in a bit. Just like being close to you and bub,” He yawns, “Goodnight, babe. Love you both so much.”

“We love you too, Harry. More than you’ll ever know.”

//  

Sleep had been pretty much non-existent in your third trimester. You were lucky if you got a few hours each night and cat naps throughout the day were rare. 

Tonight is no different. It’s 3 a.m and once you get up for your fifth trip to the bathroom, you know there’s no point in trying to get comfortable again. Harry will be up soon, and as much as he tries to stay quiet during his morning routine, he always found some way to unintentionally wake you. You couldn’t even sleep through his soft kisses to your forehead to say goodbye anymore.

Normally you take yourself down to the living room to find a mindless tv show or movie to carry you through your insomnia, but Harry also seemed to be infected with your curse of being a light sleeper these days. Most nights he would attempt to join you, sweet enough to not want you to be alone, stubborn enough to not listen each time you urged him to go back to bed. He always paid for it the day after though, dark circles under his eyes and nodding off to sleep throughout whatever he had scheduled. 

So in hopes that you wouldn’t wake him by leaving tonight, you reach for the remote to the bedroom tv, muting it so the noise won’t disturb him. You would almost be content enough to stare at him for the rest of the night. The sharp outline of his jaw, freckles scattered across his face that would rival the constellations in the sky, all softened by the moonlight illuminating his face perfectly. As much as you don’t want to wake him, you can’t help but reach out to run the back of your hand over the smooth skin of the man you admire so much. You adore the way even in his sleep he molds to your touch, soft snores and deep, even breaths never stopping as you move up to brush his curls away from his face. 

You almost make it through 20 minutes of a movie before his eyes flutter open. You know how much your false contractions from before weighed on him, alarm is quick to flood his face before he has a chance to take in his surroundings. 

You answer before he has a chance to let worry take over, “It’s alright. We’re okay. Just the usual..couldn’t sleep.”

He rubs his eyes to clear them, “What time s’it?”

“4:30.”

He squints slightly at the movie playing before chuckling, “How many times y’think you’ve watched this one? Know it’s been at least a dozen or so in the last month.”

“It’s my favorite. One of them, anyway. It’s always been soothing to me.”

“Bet you could quote the whole thing by now, even with it muted.”

You glance up at the tv and it only takes a second for you to pinpoint the exact part. You take his comment as a challenge, pushing yourself up out of your nest of pillows to rest your back against the headboard before quoting, “Faith is a bluebird you see from afar. It’s for real, and as sure as the first evening star. You can’t touch it, or buy it, or wrap it up tight. But it’s there just the same, making things turn out right.”

Your voice breaks as you say the last few words. Maybe it’s the combination of exhaustion and all the new fears and hormones running through your mind and body. Nostalgia of watching this when you were younger and now sharing it with your child when they are old enough touches your heart and you can’t stop the tears continuously streaming down your face.

“Baby,” He pushes himself up to rest next to you, tugging you until you're pressed close to his side, “Please don’t cry.”

“M’miserable, Harry. I’m as big as the moon and I can’t breathe and my feet always hurt and I’m just..ready for him to be here. Ready for him to be out so I can hold him and kiss him and put him in his own bed so I can rest in mine again.” 

You know you sound childish and whiny and somewhat ridiculous, but being so sleep deprived means all sense has left and so the words come spilling out, a jumbled mess you doubt he even understood.

“I know you are, love. Hate to see you so upset,” He kisses the top of your head, “Certainly as bright as the moon, but not as big. Your body’s as exactly as it should be. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, but that’s only cause you’re tired. He’ll be here soon and we’ll have so many people here to help, yeah?”

All you can do is nod, you know he’s right and you know once you have a nap things won’t feel so overwhelming. You pull yourself away from him to wipe your face on your t-shirt. A smile stretches across your lips as the thought enters your mind, “If I’m as bright as the moon, you’re as golden as the sun.”

“Yeah?” He’s blushing now, looking down at his hands before his eyes dart up to meet yours, “Guess that makes bub our little star, huh?”

You giggle before shrugging, “Guess so.”

“By the way,” His hand rests on your thigh, “We gonna keep calling him bub or we gonna pick a name?” 

“Bub’s cute. Bub Styles.” You wrinkle your nose at the thought, “I just want it to be perfect for him, you know? I feel like I need to see his face before I just blindly pick a name. We could definitely narrow down some options though and see which one suits him best.”

“We’ll think of something special, eh? Somethin’ just f’him.”

“Yeah, we will,” You suck in a sharp intake of breath at a particularly hard kick from within your stomach. Harry’s head snaps to look over your face before looking down to where your hand lays on your belly.

“What’s wrong?” His eyes are wide, on edge as he waits for your answer.

“It’s fine he’s just..ah, being a little rowdy this morning.” You take his hand from your thigh and press it to where the kicks were landing, “Right here. Think that’s his butt, his head’s down here, and..ah, his feet are right about here. Can you feel him?”

His palm lays flat across the front of your belly, “S’amazing, never gets old. Bet it feels so..weird to you though.”

“At first, yeah, but got used to it pretty quickly. It’s comforting now, like he’s saying hello or contributing to our conversations when we talk.”

He puts his mouth almost right against your tummy, so close his breath tickles and you feel the vibrations when he speaks, “Take it easy on mumma, little one. Just a bit longer, yeah? Can’t wait to see ya face. Bet y’so handsome like daddy, just gotta be a lil’ more patient like mummy, alright?” 

“Think maybe he’s ready for his pre-breakfast snack?”

“Dunno..I’ll ask him though,” He bends again, “That why y’bein’ such a brat to mum, huh? Woke her up early cause you were hungry? Alright, daddy’ll make your usual.”

He kisses your stomach, before straightening to where he’s level with your face, “That sound good?”

Your “usual” was a bowl of what had been your biggest craving throughout your pregnancy; fruit. On nights like this when sleeplessness couldn’t be defeated, the two of you normally gave in pretty quickly and had breakfast together. On days when you were able to sleep through Harry’s departure, you would always wake to the bowl already prepared and ready for you. Oftentimes there would be a quickly scribbled note with the words “Love, H” stuck to the top or the side of the bowl, like you didn’t already know who had left it for you.

“You’re spoiling him already, Harry.”

He smacks a quick kiss to your cheek, pulling back just a second before diving back in to peck another one on your other cheek, “Tryin’ to spoil you too, angel.”

//

Contractions, real ones you were sure this time, had started 30 minutes ago. As much as Harry wanted to rush you out of the house in your pajamas, you had insisted on at least 5 minutes to change and pull your hair into a quick ponytail before gathering your bag and dashing down the stairs.

Just as Harry’s hand lands on the doorknob, you tug on the sleeve of his jacket, “Harry, stop for a second.”

“Why? Are you having one now?”

“Kiss me.”

“What?”

“This is one of our last moments before we become parents. I want you to slow down, take a deep breath, and kiss me.”

“You’re impossible, you know that? Active labor and you stop me for a kiss.” He rolls his eyes but you can see his shoulders drop, relaxing just enough to press his lips firmly against yours. You reach your hand up and around to the back of his neck, deepening it for a moment before drawing back to scan his face.

“Better?” Your hand continues to work through his hair, happy to watch his face relax slightly at your touch.

“Much. How are you so calm?”

“I don’t know, really. I thought I would be scared, and I am but..I’m ready. So ready to meet him.”

“Me too. Let’s go.” His hand falls to the small of you back, leading you out the door and to the car.

Once you arrive at the hospital, he doesn’t leave your side, not even when the nurse suggests he do so while you get your epidural. She agrees to let him stay, but makes him sit in a chair in front of you and sternly tells him not to look.

He holds both of your hands, squeezing them tightly as an attempt to distract you. He knows how much you hate needles, how the thought of this procedure alone had scared you almost as much as the idea of labor. You release a deep sigh of relief when they announce it’s done, and he helps you settle back into bed, tucking the blanket around you.

“So proud of you, baby. You’re already doing amazing.” 

Things progress much faster than you ever thought they would, and it’s only three hours before you’re ready to push. Harry’s there for every second of it, hand behind your back and small encouragements in your ear when you think you can’t go any further. 

“M’tired, H.” The room is full of people, your doctor and a set of nurses, but his focus stays on you; simply existing together in that moment. Small pieces of hair have come loose from your ponytail, clinging to the sweat now covering your forehead. He sweeps them away before resting his hand on your shoulder.

“I know y’are, lovie, but you’re so so close. Doin’ so incredible,” His smile is so wide, beaming at you when he leans closer, “Y’look gorgeous too, never seen you look more stunning than now.”

That has a laugh bursting from you, still breathless when you reply,  “You’re such a bad liar.”

“M’serious! Know better than to lie to you.” He winks just before working his arm around behind your back again, giving you the motivation you needed to keep going.

It’s not long before you hear what you’re certain is one of the best sounds you’ll ever hear, the sweet sound of your baby boy’s cry as he enters the world.

//

An hour later, both of you are still in awe of your little one, sleeping peaceful now in their dad’s strong arms. Harry’s wedged himself next to you in the hospital bed, long legs stretched in front of him. He keeps looking between where your head is propped on his shoulder and the baby.

He breaks the silence first, “Definitely think he has your hair. S’nice and soft.”

“Think it’ll be darker like yours though. Maybe he’ll have your eyes.” You reach over to run your finger along your baby’s nose.

He looks between you and the baby again, a prideful smile brightening his face. He smushes his lips against your temple, and you close your eyes as the feeling of adoration combined with the  exhaustion of the day washes over you. 

You hear him whisper just as you’re drifting to sleep, “My moon and star, together at last.”

[izayoichan]

Brooke: So you finally have some time for me. Flynn: Oh come now, I invited you along for several things. Brooke: You did, but some alone time is also nice.

She chuckles, she had been fairly busy on her own end, she had to admit that, which meant that she had missed her boyfriend a little more than she had thought.

Flynn: So what have you done? Brooke: So much! I learned new potions, some new spells, and I have been learning meditation! You should try that too unless growlie there will be too much of an interference. Flynn: -chuckles as her pointing out the small dragon's presence had it growl.- Maybe if you teach me, then I can teach him, it would do us both good I think.

He could hear Brook chuckle, but oddly what he noticed more was the feeling he got from his bonded friend. Once again there was a clear dislike to be felt, one that one could not mistake easily.

Flynn: Want to come skiing tomorrow then? Brooke: I would love to, if you promise to help me? Flynn: Of course. I will not leave a damsel in distress!

He smiles and pulls her closer.

Flynn: I will be seeing you tomorrow then. Brooke: Yep, all ready to see all your skills in the slopes. -she chuckles and boops his nose. Flynn: And you have to go already? Brooke: Yeah, they're strict on my curfew while I am here.. I guess they don't trust me with you. - she grins-  And they shouldn't because I would be out all night if they wouldn't come to get me. Flynn: -chuckles- Best not to risk it then, or I'd have to show them my awesome skills to protect you!

He grins and kisses her, before he finally lets her go, and watches her head to her home, one day he hoped his family and the grolwy one would like her as much as he did, but for now, he would just have to be happy that she loved him regardless. He shook his head slightly and yawns as he turns around to head back home.

Beginning - Previous - Next

[teamsarawatshusband]

Word Of Honor - 1st watch insta thoughts - Episode 4

Episode 1

Episode 2

Episode 3

In case you haven't read my previous episode summaries, you should know that I now refer to alcoholic tanned tragic hero lord guy as Baby Xu (because he gave the name Zhou Xu), Wen Ke Xing is Smirky Xing, Ke Xing's female travelling companion is referred to as purple love of my life (because she rocks).

Alright let’s get started with Episode 4:

:O WHAT? Smirky Xing is qi-gong-balling nuts? Is he the red masked nut guy??? WTF? Is that why he said he's terrifying? Is that why he wasn't there at first during the fight in the dusty place? Waaaahhhh

Aww, he stilll wants Baby Xu and himself to be on first name basis. Giving horses as gifts. He's so determined.

Oooh the beggars caught up. And they openly state they're with 5 Lakes and want to bring the kid back to... some guy, I already forgot. Hmmm. The kid is instantly scared and hides behind Baby Xu. Baby Xu looks worried too. Nobody trusts 5 Lakes. Smirky Xing also doesn't trust them.

Wow, that's a lot of beggars.

Oh no, Smirky Xing insulted the talky beggar guy. And now they wanna fight.

Woahooooo, Baby Xu is pissy at Smirky Xing, but he trusts him to take care of the kid while he throws himself into the fight. Nice.

Less than 6 minutes in and we already have a million times more action than in the last episode. Thank you.

I see what smirky Xing meant when he called Baby Xu elegant. He is a VERY elegant fighter.

Offering nuts again, lol. Doesn't he know that the kid never wants to eat?

But jokes aside, the way Xing and the kid don't even go far but stay close enough to watch shows really well that smirky Xing is super confident in Baby Xu's fighting skills...

Oh no, they broke the alcohol jars, Baby Xu is gonna be so pissed.

And Smirky Xing is kind of an ass, teasing Baby Xu about his promise to keep an eye on the kid, while the beggar is chasing the kid around and Baby Xu is doing all the work.

Ahhh, it's cause he wants Baby Xu to admit that he needs him. Hehe, smart. Evil but clever.

:O The beggars got swords in their sticks! Cheaty little fuckers.

Baby Xu is fighting a bazillion beggars at once, no problem while the kid is almost caught.

Oh no, Baby Xu is mouthbleeding. That's never a good sign.

Oooooh, Smirky Xing notices and instantly steps in. No more teasing.

Oh how the turntables. Baby Xu and the kid flee, while Smirky Xing takes on the beggars. Nice. Sharing the workload. Like good husbands. Smirklord ftw!

Oh no, Baby Xu is worried about being a loser. And now he's doing the smelly meditation thing again. Awww :(

Meanwhile Smirky Xing has killed all the beggars, and it's not even shown on camera. Like... he probably did it with a determined look, some nut throwing and a snap of a finger or something. Impressive.

LOL, the purple love of my life comes on screen, looks around and has this, "Aww, dangit, he's on a killing spree again" look on her face. So this happens a lot, I gather.

She's concerned about the cleanup and the aesthetics, lol. My queen.

Whoa, what's that? Two tied up girls on a boat. And a jerk. I don't even know him but I know that much. Character introduction 101.

Oh wait, my purple love stops him. She knows him. He's one of the mountain ghost guys? And she knows him? There's a connection. That probably means that Smirky Xing really is nut guy. :O :O :O

She's striking a deal. And I didn't catch what she asked jerk guy to do in return for keeping him tying up girls a secret. But he leaves to do it.

Wow, Baby Xu knows how to cook. And offers the fish to the kid. And the kid ACTUALLY TAKES it. Impressive. I thought he hates food.

Ah, no, he spit it out. Okay. My worldview has been restored. And Baby Xu is not a good cook after all, lol.

My purple queen shows up and explains how to cook fish, lol. Yeah, they wish they had her cooking skills.

Oh, and baby Xu actually asks about Smirky Xing's whereabouts and looks longingly towards the boat where my queen points to.

Very lovely scenery, with Smirky Xing plaing the flute on the boat, and the two girls (who were previously tied up, I think, I still suck at recognizing faces) are enjoying his company, preparing drinks and listening.

Clearly Smirky Xing is playing just for Baby Xu. And then jumps off the boat with a flute twirl (clearly a Wei Wuxian fan, and who isn't?!) and then fly-jumps over the water to the beach and Baby Xu.

Heh, tempting Baby Xu with alcohol and good food, Smirky Xing is really trying everything.

LOL, you can't sit with the cool kids Smirky Xing.

But he never gives up and recites poetry again. Okay, now some story about historic white cloth. And a sword. Wait, is the "white cloth" the sword? Oh, and Smirky Xing is hinting that Baby Xu's sword is so bendy that it might be the legendary sword.

Always digging for info. Always noticing everything.

Oooh, Baby Xing compares their relationship to the fish he threw away, calls it "raw/unrequited". Nice pun. BUT, the fish wasn't raw, you literally discussed with the kid that is was cooked through, you little liar. I see what's going on there. Unrequited my ass. Smirklord setting sails.

Baby Xu explains that he doesn't know himself and couldn't care less about knowing Smirky Xing.

Smirky Xing is such a sweet talker. This whole "I hurt when you hurt" spiel... blergh.

He called him "My A-Xu" awww, cute. Also super invasive.

Some dark figure is playing headach inducing music. Huh? What is going on?

My purple queen and the kid are affected and Smirky Xing, stops them from running off by placing his hands on their backs. How? What?

Wait, Baby Xu plays the flute as well???

Everybody's a musician.

Oh, it's a music fight. The acoustic waves are hitting each other.

And the girls on the boats are jumping off, because they don't have Smirky Xing's hands holding them back.

Whooooooo, Baby Xu's flute sound lawnmowers the grass and the other musician down. Nice skills.

Oh, it's an assassination skill. The one that the dark figure used. :O A music assassin!!!

LOL, Baby Xu apologizes for getting Smirky Xing's flute dirty. Honey, he 100% won't mind your spit.

Why is the kid puking? He hasn't even eaten anything. Oh, he's lacking martial arts skills to defend against the attack, got it, got it.

Awwww, the one who dislikes you is the one who is really good to you. Of course you would live by that motto Smirky Xing, you lovesick boy.

Okay, the kid wants to learn martial arts now. Wants to be Baby Xu's disciple. And he's kind of agreeing, even though reluctantly, because he... doesn't wanna look good in front of Ke Xing?

Oh a camp of assassins. Pretty girl assassins. One of them is getting a leg massage. Nice. Being an assassin has perks, it seems. Ooh, and she gets touchy with some victim guy.

Did that guy just kill the several-times-stabbed victim by throwing a bone at his head? lol

Oh, the music assassin is one of this group, k, got it.

What? Smirky Ke Xing playing this special meditation song means he has a pure mind? I'm with Baby Xu, I would never have thought so. So, he's not nuts guy? WHAT IS GOING ON?

Dude, he does NOT look like of pure mind while playing that flute at all. It looks very... not pure. This looks like a mating ritual to me.

Wait, is he telling my purple queen to kill the two girls she saved? I'm so confused.

Aww, he LIKES Baby Xu. Not that it's a surprise. But he admitted it. Heh. And, once again, my purple queen gets it.

Aww, Smirky Xing plays for his boy all night long. And Baby Xu finally gets some rest. Nice.

And Smirky Xing finally gets to sit next to his crush after all.

But he doesn't get to hold his hand yet. I see how it is.

LOL, tough women can't resist clingy men, what? Is Smirky Xing ever talking about anybody other than himself and Baby Xu?

Ahaha, Smirky Xing is such a bad liar. But really good at making Baby Xu feel guilty. Yes, yes, you poor man driven off the boat, aching from all the flute playing, riiiight.

LOL, he ends up the coachman. Nice.

Oh no, the grandparents are fighting nice undies tree master guy and the mini Wangjis. Why can't they be friends?

Why are they all after that stupid glazed armor, this is so annoying.

Oh no, now pleated skirt soldier boss guy is joining in as well. Which side is he picking?

Okay he's fighting the grandparents, but is he on friendly terms with undies tree guy? Because I don't think so. But the mini Wangjis knew him and seemed to trust him. So confusing all of this...

Okay and there's another new guy. In green and gold with a tiny mustache. Is he the one they were supposed to bring the kid to? Ah yes, okay. Uncle Zhao.

Wait, the leader of the something something sect is chased. Who was that? Undies tree master? I need a name chart mind map or something. I should make one and add on to it as I go along.

Anyway, end of episode.

Okay this was interesting, what have I learned? Baby Xu can't get rid of Smirky Xing, no matter what. The kid wants to be his disciple. My purple queen is 100% a smirklord shipper. There's a bunch of assassins out there to hurt... I don't know, everybody, possibly. Everybody seems to want the glazed armor. Except for Baby Xu who just wants to be left alone, and Smirky Xing who just wants Baby Xu. I feel like I'm getting the hang of this. Except I STILL don't know how everybody is truly connected. And Smirky Xing might be nuts guy but also maybe not because he's pure, but I mean, who are you kidding?

Goals for future episodes: I should really actually make that character name chart mind map thing.

Also, we have officially reached the moment, where I wanna continue watching, even though I'm tired and have other stuff to do. I bet the point of no return strikes during the next episode. I can feel it coming.

[sunatooru]

b my baby!!! i never really send in matchup requests but i wanted to celebrate ur milestone w u hehe i hope i provide enough info for ya<333

so! my personality type is infj-t. not too sure what that means but i know the i stands for introvert nd that is vvv much correct. my big three are virgo sun, capricorn moon, nd aquarius rising. m quite sensitive nd in tune w not only my emotions but the emotions of those around me. m quite shy tbh, but once i get really close to someone a whole other side of me comes out; like a full 180 hehe it’s dirty jokes, random late night ft calls, random rants, making playlists, nd tiktok spams galore. my friends tell me m quite flirty but i never realize it (m also kinda dense ah haha) it’s funny tho bc i fluster really easily so once someone flirts back i stutter nd malfunction. m a little clingy; but not too much bc i, too, love my space nd m often afraid of being too much/annoying so i catch myself when i think m being too clingy. i have times where m extroverted nd the life of the party but after those times i have to retreat back into my cave to recharge. some of my likes/the things i do to recharge include; tarot, crystals, meditation, drawing (tho m not good at it anymore), , music, hugs & kisses, reading, pretty things, all things horror/scary, dancing, makeup, watching coryxkenshin on yt, nd playing video games. some of my dislikes include; clowns (i am deathly afraidHSJDH), most food condiments, nd being talked over. my all time fav trope is mutual pining (mixed w some friends to lovers?? chefs kiss)<3 i don’t have a preferred gender for the matchup nd my pronouns are she/her

i hope this wasn’t too long, i have a terrible tendency to ramble 😅 i love u ssmmmm nd, again, m so so so proud of u!! u deserve 3k nd even more MWAH

I love youuu I hope you like it xx

Warnings: none

I match you with…TANAKA SAEKO

She took you in so fast. Once she manage to make eye contact with you, she smiled so hard and announced you would be friends now.

Over the years, you got closer. Crushing hugs, lingering stares and late night calls. She was hot and you couldn’t deny it. You started crushing on her. You liked how supportive she was, how laidback and fun she was. It just felt right being next to her. You always felt yourself getting flustered when you would hold eye contact for longer. She was quite touchy too and you weren’t sure if the hugs she gave you were longer compared to others, or if you were overthinking. Maybe she liked you too?

You’re over at hers. She sighs after yelling at her brother to quiet down become closing the door and plopping on her bed. She pulls you close and spoons you, an arm around your waist. You two cuddle frequently. It was a time you could just relax and enjoy some silence or even some low music.

She sighs behind you. This cuddle session felt different. She intertwines you hand with hers and compliments it. You feel your heart thumping as you get consumed by her aura. She really was amazing.

You decide to flip over and she smiles when you face her.

“Hi pretty.” She gazes at you.

“Hey to you too.” You’re hesistant, you open your mouth ready to confess but she beats you to it.

“I have a crush on you.” She blushes.

“Ah I-“

“Haha yeah, I think you’re amazing and pretty and think we were meant to meet.” It takes you some time to register her words before you quickly blurt out your feelings.

“I have a crush on you too!” She’s shocked for a second before laughing.

“You really are adorable.”

There’s a knock on the door and Ryu comes in.

“Finally made your move on her, sis?” He winks and she flips him off before throwing a pillow at him.

[norcalbruja]

Things are not ideal for me right now

What’s up, so I had yet another argument with my mom today. I had to go lie down and vent about it to the spirits. I ended up begging them to find SOME way to get my writing off the ground, so I could move into my own place by the end of the year. Then I can finally be alone and not get constantly reminded by people that I'm bad at housework, and remembering stuff, and all those “regular people” things that my mom and sister are just fine with.

Because LUCKY ME, I live in California where a regular fucking 1-to-2-bedroom house can cost a million dollars or MORE now. And while writing and theater has never been easy, it’s been especially bad with the pandemic.

I wore myself out a couple years ago by trying to get my writing noticed the regular way with social-media, and eventually I quit posting much about my work because I barely got any readers AT ALL, let alone people who give me feedback like I kept begging them to. (GUESS HOW MAD I WAS when I found out that literally all of the “standard” marketing advice is bullshit. I spammed Tumblr and Twitter and Facebook for nothing, isn’t that great???)

So yeah, while I vastly advocate trying mundane options before asking the spirits for help, I don’t know how I can get a writing career or earn a million dollars the “mundane” way, especially not in these times.

Which led me, in my “desperate / enraged” double-whammy of a bad mindset, to go and ask Laho the moon-eater for help.

This is not the first time. I asked him in February because I was just fucking TIRED of being stuck at home and having my writing going nowhere, and how asking the other spirits just doesn’t seem to be working.

---

So for context: Laho the Moon-Eater is a dragon in Filipino / Tagalog mythology. He causes eclipses by coming out of the deep ocean and trying to eat the sun/moon. He actively dislikes when I call him a “god” because he insists that the anito/gods have to CARE ABOUT PEOPLE, regardless of power-level, and he is a DRAGON.

He acknowledges that dragons frequently overlap WITH gods, especially in Asian / Filipino mythology, but he told me that it’s a case-by-case thing and sometimes dragons just identify as Level 10 Nature-Spirits. Which is kind of trippy when Laho constantly takes human form and looks/acts almost like Dark Bakura, what with his long white hair, his deathly pale skin, and his dickish and blunt personality. He also has a glowing “aura” that none of the other anito seem to have, even the actual sun and moon deities. I think it's either “deep-sea bio-luminescence” or “side-effects from constantly trying to eat the sun/moon.”

And uh. That comparison to DARK Bakura is not an idle one, because for me, Laho is almost on Loki levels of "Engage With Heavy Caution.” Loki and I barely get along after several years of not being able to stand each other, and after one piece of advice from Loki that went So Damn Badly, he told me we can have a do-over later on. Laho is just damn unpredictable because sometimes he comes over to tell me about stuff, but sometimes he drags me out of my meditation without even asking “hey are you busy??? I found something cool!” first.

On the other hand, Laho is not a proper “Trickster” like Loki is, so he’s not trying to curse me or anything. That involves caring enough about one random, half-trained spirit-worker to like... intentionally damage her, and Laho Does Not Care About People.

Keep in mind that while I am NOT doing formal “magic / spellwork,” thank the gods, general consensus from the other spirits is “Do Not Try This At Home.” Fuck, now that I've calmed down, *I* don’t even like asking Laho for basic goals, but... I don’t know who else I can ask.

The rest of it is behind the “Read More” heading for heavy desperation, depression, and Not Safe For Work subjects.

---

So today after my latest argument with Mom, I went to my room to lie down and get a grip on my Seething Rage And Desperation, but as mentioned before, I just ended up begging the spirits, “GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE. I JUST WANT A HOUSE AND AN ART CAREER. GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And my attempts to calm down didn’t work so much that Spirit-Me’s heart just... split open from the stress, apparently. The last time that happened was when I was high as hell on a whole weed cookie, and I started thinking the world was going to end. (Long story short, that was Loki’s Extremely Bad Advice. Yes, the spirits remembered that. No, they were not happy that I was sober this time.)

So there’s Spirit-Me, screaming and bleeding all over the damn place while Odin and the other spirits are trying to 1) stitch me back up and 2) assure me that I’m not a TOTAL failure, but I was not in the space to listen, so once I was mostly-not-bleeding, I just ran off to the spirit-ocean and found Laho.

Generally when I’m desperate enough to ask Laho for help, I end up having sex with him as a trade.

Because, at risk of repeating myself, I’m broke. In a lot more ways than “money.” I’m say I’m a half-trained spirit-worker, but if you count FILIPINO spirit-work, it’s even less. I barely even speak Tagalog, so I wouldn’t know any spells or high-end offerings to give the spirits. I don’t know what the fuck else I can trade for help, besides having sex.

I don’t even have an altar to put offerings ON, because my mom’s place has a Catholic altar and I sure as hell won’t leave food meant for pagan spirits there. I share my regular food with the spirits, and then I eat it after a few minutes.

But like... remember how Spirit-Me’s heart just split open from stress, and how I was about to have sex, which is generally Very Strenuous in both worlds? Yeah, not only did my heart split back open, I’m pretty sure me and Laho didn’t do anything resembling “spiritual foreplay” either, because Spirit-Me started bleeding down there, too.

And it’s like, Laho is not a good role model for the MORAL side of “a crying woman is asking me for help and trying to have sex,” but the Filipino spirits are extremely open about sex by itself. Even Laho prides himself on having REALLY good sex if someone comes up to him for it, because humans and involved spirits are the ones who mess shit up with “feelings” and “consent” and “maybe this isn’t a good idea.”

But he knows that humans shouldn’t be leaking gallons of blood, so once that started, he stopped. And then he assured the extremely angry anito that he only knows why I’m bleeding from ONE place, but he didn’t expect that much, and the chest wound is not from him.

Spirit-Me was now slightly WORSE than when I started—my chest hurt and my downstairs half hurt, and while I was flailing in a pool of my own blood, and begging the spirits for a steady income and a basic house, my mouth started bleeding, so now Orifice #3 Is Leaking Too Much Red Stuff.

So, I needed Freyja AND Brighid to come fix it. Brighid says that my issues are manifesting as “spiritual ulcers.” Freyja has gently advised me that given the shit that happened today, I should avoid spirit-intercourse for the next few days and seriously take it easy for other types of sex.

And weirdly enough, once everyone cleared out to give me a break from the events, the Morrigan came up and told me that she loved me, and I could ask her for help if I wasn’t too tired. She also told me that she is the goddess of sovereignty, and I don’t ask her for nearly enough things. So... yeah, I asked her for help with getting an art career and buying my own house, so I could help fix the damn planet by the end of this year, 2021.

See, the Morrigan is my patron goddess and she has been extremely hands-off in the past few years. While she DOES relegate herself to “spiritual bodyguard for the squishy writer,” sometimes she comes up and tells me she loves me, unprompted. Especially when I’m... not in a good space AT ALL, like today.

I wonder if my soul is dying, or in a LOT of trouble. Honestly, I’m not surprised. I told the spirits a while back that my soul will die if I’m stuck in this rut for much longer, where I’m not a successful artist, and so I have to live with my family, who I can’t really get along with.

I'm not good at anything besides art. Either my head just doesn’t fucking work properly for most jobs, or random shit goes wrong with basic tasks, or I end up hating the job and wishing that I could just DO ART FOR A LIVING.

The only way I can see to fix things is get an art career and move into my own place, so I don’t bother anyone and they don’t have to deal with my weirdness. But HOW THE FUCK am I gonna find a million dollars for a basic house, when I can’t even get enough people to read my stuff???

And that, followers, is why I'm up at midnight after exhausting Spirit-World shenanigans.

[skylarmoon71]

Leonardo x Reader- Oneshot

“Guys I’m back!” Between school and your track practice, you tried your best to squeeze in time to see your favorite people err...turtles. Mikey jumped up with a wide grin and Donnie offered a small wave.

“Oh Donnie thanks for the advice yesterday, my knees feel much better!” you pulled out a twelve pack of juice boxes handing it to him. He smiled giving a small thanks. “Thank you.” He spoke happily. He was already pulling the first one out.

“I take it ya won your race.” you nod at Raph’s question, and he patted you on the back, maybe a bit too roughly because you stumbled. “Came first place. My third one this week but who’s counting.” you boast.

“I wish we could watch your races, I’d like to see you beat all those other people.” Mikey said.

“I got my brother to tape it here.” taking out your phone you pulled up the video and they all started gathering around to see. With the four of you huddled in a circle, Leo raised a brow when he walked outside. “Are you guys planning another prank.” he asked unimpressed.

“Nah, (Y/N) is showing us her last race.” Mikey says enthusiastically. Leo looked a bit curious now, and when he walked over to take a look you flushed, clicking the button as soon as your race ended.

“O-Oh, look at that I think my battery just died. Maybe next time.” you mutter. Raph sent you a little smirk, and slowly they all started to disperse. Leo looked a bit disappointed, but he didn’t voice it.

“I-I should get going, practice starts in half an hour. I’ll check back in tomorrow. It's my off day.” Just like that you were heading out the lair, and Leo watched you leave.

“Does she hate me or something?” At first he thought he was imagining it, but every time he was around you made it your mission to disappear. He didn’t understand it because you weren’t that way with the others. And he was pretty sure he hadn’t done anything to make you think ill of him. So why were you being so distant?

“You just intimidate her.” Raph states doing push ups.

“Intimidate? Why do I intimidate her? If anything she should be intimidated by you.” Leo defended. He didn’t see himself as an intimidating person.

“Ya so blind it ain't even funny.” That just annoyed him more. Raph was speaking in riddles and it was irritating him. Of course he was way too prideful to come out and ask, so he just walked away.

“You think she’ll ever tell him?” Donnie mutters from the side. They all knew the reason behind your quick escapes, and truthfully it was entertaining to watch, especially since you and Leo were just so bad and being forward about your feelings. Donnie had once insisted they just set you both up, but Raph was adamant on letting you figure it out on your own. He didn’t like getting in the middle of these kinds of situations, or maybe he just wanted to see Leo squirm a bit. Either way, it would play out.

~~~

“Guys check this out!!’ Donnie’s eyes made all of their heads turn. Raph and Leo stopped their little play fight, heading over to the screens.

“It’s (Y/N), she just finished third in her national meet. This is playing live.” Now they were all watching attentively, Mikey cheered when he saw the shot of you running up on the screen.

“And our third place finisher, do you have anything to say to your friends and family.” The reporter turned the microphone to you.

“I’m just really grateful to my family for always pushing me hard, especially my miserable brother.To all my friends old and new, thanks for the endless support.” You were smiling and breathing a bit heavily, clearly still winded from the race.

“Any message for the special someone in your life.” The question made your cheeks slightly flush.

“Oh uh I..” your gaze drifted, but then you looked right at the camera.

“Leonardo, thank you for being my inspiration. '' Leo's eyes were wide, and Raph shoved him playfully. “Oooooo! Our fearless leader’s got an admirer.”

“Well you heard it folks. Thank you again for tuning in and congratulations (Y/N) on the amazing race. “ The reporter moved to other runners, but Leo’s eyes were still glued on the screen. He tried not to read too much into it. But his heart was still pounding in his chest. It’s not like you’d confess to him, yet those words felt far greater than any confession he could imagine.

“I think she broke him brah.” Mikey was poking Leo insistently, but he didn’t budge.

Donnie smiled from his seat. “I recorded it Leo, if you want to watch it again.” Leo’s eye hardened, and he straightened his shoulders, letting out a small sound as he left. It seemed to be his only response lately whenever he got flustered. He still hoped though, that maybe you meant something more. That you wanted something more.

~~~~

“If it ain't Bolt.” you giggle at the nickname, flexing your muscles. “What can I say, can’t keep all this raw talent contained. “

“Shell yeah you can’t!!” After celebrating with your family. Of course you came to hang out with the boys. They were family too after all. You saw Splinter and he walked over with a smile.

“Congratulations (Y/N).”

“Thank you Master Splinter.” With a small bow, he was off, and Mikey was grilling you on the whole experience. Raph was sitting on the couch listening. As you were giving major details, you couldn’t stop yourself from searching out Leo. You knew for a fact they saw the interview, and your blood had been practically pumping since then, and it had absolutely nothing to do with the race. When you were done giving Mikey a rundown, you excused yourself, heading for the one place you could always find the blue eyed leader. You gripped at the metal of your medal in your hands. You were excited to show him it. Stepping through the hall of the training area, you caught sight of him on a mat. He was standing but his eyes were closed. He looked completely concentrated.

“Leo..” usually you never disturbed him when he was meditating, mostly because he could always tell when you were there. His eyes opened slowly and you gave a little wave.

“H-Hey.”

“Hey, I saw your competition. Congratulations (Y/N).” Hearing that from him had a completely different effect than all the others. You blush, fully stepping in. “Thanks Leo.” you never seem to be able to keep your cool when you're in the same room as him, it’s crazy. His eyes watch you. The pretty tint of red on your cheeks. Your wandering eyes. It’s so cute to him, and now he can’t stop himself from asking the question that’s been burning in his mind.

“(Y/N), what you said..I just, I feel like I can’t take much credit for you performing that well. If I’m being honest I was under the impression that you disliked me.”

“W-What! “

Leo chuckles at the look you’re now wearing. “ You run out the moment you see me, I could only assume that’s what it was. Raph also said that you’re intimidated by me, which was even more confusing. “

You really sucked at emotions, you realized that now. With a small sigh, you tucked the medal into your pocket. You’d have plenty of time to show him that later. “Leo I..I am intimidated by you. But not for the reasons you may think.” The look in his eyes urged you to continue.

“When I first met you guys, I’m not gonna lie it freaked me the hell out. I never believed things like this existed and I started questioning a lot. After a while though, I got to know you and your brothers and it showed me that we weren’t very different. You were just like everyone else, maybe even more. Leo to me you’re just so incredible, every night you go out and risk your life expecting nothing in return. You put your family first, you lead your brothers with so much confidence and ease that it just...it amazes me.”

Leo hadn’t looked away since you started talking, and his sapphire orbs were conveying so much. “You amaze me in so many ways and that’s why it's so hard for me to be around me because you do intimidate the hell out of me because I’m terrified that you’ll see right through me and realize just how crazy I am about you.”

“(Y/N)...”

“I really like you Leo.”

There, you finally said it. No more stolen glances or silent wishes. Everything was out there.

He started walking closer, and you kept eye contact, heart pumping briskly.

“I have no idea what I did to deserve someone like you (Y/N), but I’m happy that we actually have mutual feelings.”

“Are you saying that…”

“I thought it was obvious.” He whispered.

“Guess we’re both pretty bad at this.”

He smiles, and the hand that rests on your cheek heats up more than just the skin it’s laying on. The final step makes you inhale, and when he leans down, your eyelids lower. You push unto your toes to balance out the height differences, and Leo’s hand runs down your cheek, to your shoulder as he plants a much awaited kiss to your lips. The little sound you let out is involuntary, and Leo smiles into the kiss, wrapping his other hand around your waist as he pulls you closer.

Your hands even out on his strong firm chest, and your delving deeper and deeper. You’ve been dying to experience this, and you can’t get enough. It doesn’t feel like enough. Leo must be thinking the same. Your lips part and as you’re about to rejoin, Leo opens his mouth slightly slipping his tongue in. You quiver, whining at how great it feels. He invades your mouth with incredible precision, and you try your best to match him. You moan, you can’t help it. This is too good. Leo arm tightens around your form at the sound, still driving you mad with his wet tongue.

Oxygen, that’s the sole reason you part. Leo is reluctant, you can tell, but he needs to get a breath just as much as you. When he separates, your grinning and huffing, quite the same as when you finished your race.

“I guess..I should be glad that I intimidate you, I’ll try to do it more often.” His cheeky response just makes your grin widen.

“I have absolutely no complaints. “

It really wasn’t such a bad thing.

[avieelliot]

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: aveline rosemary fox-harker (changed her surname to elliot once she got to america)

Nickname: avie

Race: white

Ethnicity: french, german

Nationality: english (UK)

Age: 34

APPEARANCE & MANNERISMS

Hair: straight, chestnut brown, reaches her shoulders

Eyes: blue-grey on the outside, hazel around the irises (central heterochromia)

Skin: fair and smooth

Height: 5'2" (157cm)

Build: slender, soft

Scent: jasmine

Gait: leisurely pace, often stops to literally smell roses, or just stare at a pretty view

Clothing/Style: flowy lines, muted colours, soft fabrics (silk, cashmere)

Style of Speech: soft, light voice, but commanding. like you know you’re supposed to stop and listen.

Key Possessions: she has very little attachment to material things. her dogs are her life.

CITIZENSHIP

Social Status: well liked, but little known

Occupation: veterinarian / sanctuary owner

Education: Doctor of Veterinary Medicine degree

Residence: a quaint little apartment in a century home

PERSONALITY

Likes: animals, nature, good food, good wine, good conversation, walks in the woods, quiet meditation, stargazing

Dislikes: instability, dishonesty, greed, money, power, being told what to do

Hobbies: working at the animal sanctuary, volunteering at shelters, reading

Personality Summary: kind, altruistic, nurturing, guarded, stubborn, afraid

RELATIONSHIPS

Friends/Allies: TBD

Enemies/Rivals: Alessandro Di Natale, her ex-husband, most men.

Family: estranged from her disinterested parents and her long-lost brother

Romantic Interest: TBD

Pets: three rescue dogs, named Flora (a golden), Fauna (a husky mix), and Merryweather (english bulldog)

BIOGRAPHY

tw: child neglect

Nothing in Aveline’s life has ever been particularly stable, but the one comforting constant in her childhood was everyone always insisting that everything was completely fine. Her parents, devastated to be born a decade or two late to the hippie movement, dove headfirst into 80’s political activism - violence in the name of peace, or something along those lines. He went by Barkley Fox, she went by Buttercup Harker. They met during a riot, and they never slowed down.

Aveline herself was… a surprise, to say the least. Her parents were young and wild and free, but not quite smart enough to realize a child would change that. Or rather, that a child should change that. It didn’t change much for Buttercup and Barkley, who brought tiny Aveline to riots with them, smiling for the photojournalists, and reassuring nosy child welfare workers that everything was, as always, completely fine.

Sure, sometimes they forgot to pick her up from school until the sun had set, and they went on “vacations” to war zones, and she saw much more than any ten year old child should see the time they couldn’t find a babysitter and brought her to the Filthy Lucre tour. And yeah, maybe sometimes they went out and didn’t feed her, or they tried to cure infections with leaves and tree bark, or she missed a couple months of school here and there… but everything was fine, they had it all under control. She was a free spirited child, like them.

Needless to say, everything was not completely fine. Aveline wasn’t fine. She was lonely, and scared, and small. She was forgotten about by the people who were supposed to love her most. The only reason she ever learned what real love was, is because her grandmother (with whom her parents would often drop her for undisclosed amounts of time) had an animal sanctuary.

The animals were hurt. Wounded birds, orphaned squirrels, that kind of thing. They were small, and scared, and lonely. Forgotten about by most of the world. Aveline’s previously unused heart filled up with the love of these tiny helpless creatures, and she found her calling.

When she was eleven, another tiny helpless creature was dropped in Aveline’s lap. His name was Elliot Fox-Harker - her new baby brother. Their parents didn’t know what to do with him any more than they’d known what to do with her. But she was old enough to babysit now, they decided. So they left their oldest child alone to parent their infant. Avie was overwhelmed, and even more scared than before. Somehow, she kept Elliot alive - with the help of their brilliant grandmother. But she was a baby herself, and their grandmother was blind, and it took three years before anyone noticed that Elliot couldn’t hear them. He was deaf.

Aveline was fifteen then. She knew what she had to do. She called the NSPCC Helpline and reported her own parents for child endangerment. The people who came to rescue her brother ripped him, screaming, from her arms, and though she knew she’d done the right thing, to this day, she can’t escape the guilt of that. Elliot was the only person in the world who loved her and needed her, and she let him down. She loved him as much as she resented their parents, so when she moved to America, she changed her last name for him.

She was sent to live with family in Brooklyn, and really struggled to finish high school there. The distraction of her guilt and sadness mixed with the combined years of school she’d missed in her tumultuous childhood meant she was constantly behind... but she put all of her time and energy into studying. The other students in New York were interested in her - they saw her as a mystery of a person with a pretty face and a cute accent, and were fascinated - but she couldn’t relate to any of them. They wanted her to go to parties and pep rallies, but the only person she found herself relating to at all was the weird quiet kid with his walkman on.

After graduation, she went back to England and studied veterinary medicine in London, almost reaching the top of her class. Almost. Top 5%, anyway. But it was an incredible achievement for someone who statistically shouldn’t have survived childhood. She was on top of the world when she graduated... until she realized that she had no idea where to go from there. She was entirely alone in, and besides wanting to be a vet and not wanting to think about her family, she’d never had any real plans. Her mind reeled with images of herself turning into her parents - lost and forever wandering - and she panicked… until she met The One.

He was American - the CEO of his own company, a self-made man. He was gorgeous and charming and driven and best of all: he was stable. She figured the best decision she could make in her life would be to find someone who craved the same stability and authenticity she needed, and to be a team. The exact opposite of her parents. So when he proposed, she said yes.

And when every red flag in the world popped up and waved itself in her face, she smiled, went to work, and constantly insisted that everything was… completely fine.

She had a job she loved, her own veterinary practice in Portland, Maine, a big goofy dog named Flora, and what she thought was real love. She was happy. All the warning signs and nagging thoughts were just echoes of her parents’ voices telling her she needed to be free, and she shouldn’t tie herself down. She wouldn’t listen. She didn’t listen. For seven years, she went through the motions, comatose, hibernating, putting up with more bullshit from him than even her parents could carry. Then one day he came home from a business trip. He’d barely set his bags down when she said it.

“I know you don’t love me. And I know you never really did.”

She was talking to him, but she also saw her parents as she said it.

Everything broke, then. He broke, she broke, the walls that they’d both been carefully building, the personas they’d been curating, all of it, just crashed to the ground with a violent, angry, thunderous bang.

She tried to move on. After the divorce finalized, she tried to have hope, and to try again to find the stable, true, safe Forever Love she still believed was out there. She met a beautiful boy named Alessandro, reeling from heartbreak himself, and thought that maybe this time it could last. He made her feel beautiful, and wanted, for the first time, really, ever... and then he broke her heart.

She gave up entirely after that. She moved to Boston with Flora, adopted two more dogs (Fauna and Merryweather) and poured herself once again into work and nothing else. The animals were the only important thing - they could bite her, but they couldn’t break her heart. She was kind to people, but kept them at a distance, not willing to risk falling into the trap of love again.

Earlier this year, she was offered a job at Familiar Friend Veterinary Clinic, and moved to Salem. She’s has opened her own animal sanctuary for hurt/abandoned pets and wildlife in the area, and has even ventured to make a friend or two. She’s wounded, but in rehabilitation, and she’s sure she’ll fly again soon.

[bittysvalentines]

My Best Friend’s Breakup

From: @missweber

To: @pwoops

Tags: Snowy/Tater, Snowy/OFC, background Zimbits, background Parswoops, friends to lovers, fluff, mild angst, accidental marriage, deliberate marriage

Summary: Everyone says that Snowy and his girlfriend are perfect together. This bothers Tater, which makes sense given the crush he has on his best friend. But he’s not the only one who is disturbed by how perfect everyone says Snowy’s girlfriend is. (This is in the same verse as ‘Fourteen Weddings and a Kerfuffle,’ but can be read as a stand-alone story.’)

Alexei wasn’t sure if he loved or hated Family Skate.

Family Skate meant skating with his friends and not having coaches yell at him or some asshole on the other team pick a fight with him. And there was always lots of food. That part, he loved.

What he didn’t love was always showing up alone, with no wife, no girlfriend.

Or no boyfriend, which was an intriguing new way to feel alone.

He tried to be subtle about watching Zimmboni with his little B over by the boards, talking and laughing with Carrie and Snowy…

…and Laurel.

Another thing Alexei hated about Family Skate was that it made him dislike a woman who truly didn’t deserve it. But how could he not dislike Snowy’s girlfriend?

Without his notice or his permission, Alexei’s feelings towards Snowy had turned into something that wasn’t just friendship. It was probably inevitable, given how Snowy was his best friend and a very, very handsome man as well. 

Given that Alexei enjoyed men as much as he enjoyed women, he had been doomed from the start.

For the sake of his heart, Alexei had long ago accepted that nothing would come of his crush and he would enjoy the friendship for what it was. And what it was, was the best kind of friendship a man could hope for.

As for that little touch of melancholy that it would never be more than friendship? It eventually settled into something almost pleasurable, like the soreness after a hard workout, or the burn of vodka searing down his throat.

This was very Russian of him, he decided smugly.

Again, he glided past the little group by the boards, past Zimmboni’s hand on B’s back, past Snowy standing close to Laurel, past Laurel saying something about ‘anniversary.’ 

This time, the jolt of melancholy wasn’t remotely pleasurable.

Everyone said it was only a matter of time before Snowy proposed. Laurel was a sweet girl, a perfect hockey girlfriend who would be a perfect hockey wife. 

Marty had even started a betting pool about when Snowy would propose, and Alexei had been grumpy enough to put money on them breaking up before Easter, just to be an ass. 

His best friend was going to get married and Alexei would just have to learn to live with that and with the fact he had thrown good money away purely out of spite.

* * * 

Dustin sank into the oversized, overstuffed, and over-engineered chair with a groan. Tater’s new recliner wasn’t at all to his taste, what with the red leather and the cup holder, but he would be the first to admit that the vintage Bauhaus furniture in his own apartment was more suited to a fit of ennui than a wallow in self-pity.

“Breakups fucking suck,” he whined.

Tater made a sympathetic noise that abruptly morphed into a huh? 

Dustin side-eyed him and got a puzzled look in return. 

“I thought you break up with her?” Tater asked.

Another groan. Tater’s recliner welcomed him further into its womb-like depths. It was even uglier than Zimmermann’s god-awful running shoes, but damn it was comfortable. 

“Yeah. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck, because it’s not like I still don’t care about her, y’know?”

Tater grumbled with frustration, probably over Dustin’s tangle of negatives. 

Dustin took pity on him. “I broke her heart, and I feel like the worst person in the whole fucking world right now, okay? And Marty’s gonna slit my throat, because Gabby and Laurel are BFFs, and argh!” He screamed into his hands.

In so many ways, Laurel was perfect. Everyone said they were perfect together. She was hot, smart, funny, fun in bed, thoughtful, able to cope with all the bullshit that went with dating a hockey player…

“I made a big fucking mistake, didn’t I?” 

Thirdy had all but ordered him to lock that down, kid, at Family Skate two weeks ago. He had been weirdly insistent that the end of the regular season would be an awesome time to propose, but that wasn’t the important part.

The important part was that afterwards, things started going a bit… sideways with Laurel. Not bad. Just…

Sometimes, looking at something from a new angle made it look like a completely different thing.

Tater let out the long, rumbling hmmm that meant he was putting concepts together, taking them apart, and carefully reassembling them in a different language. 

While Tater pondered, Dustin thought about begging Laurel to take him back. He could say he was freaked out by the pressure of trying to secure a playoffs spot, and did something impulsive. She would take him back, right?

The certainty that she would knotted up his stomach more than he expected.

Tater got up and went to the kitchen. “This need pie,” he announced. 

Next came the crinkling of foil and the clink of plates being placed on the counter.

“B make blueberry pie, just for me.” Tater called from the kitchen. “When he hear about Laurel, he say I should share.”

The knot in Dustin’s stomach unfurled and bloomed into warmth. “I get Bittle pie? Aw, man, you really do love me.”

A long pause. An exasperated sigh.

“I only share little piece.” 

A few minutes later, Tater came back with two generous slices of pie, warmed up and garnished with a dab of sour cream. 

The first time Tater had served pie with sour cream, Dustin assumed it was a mistake, and that Tater meant to get whipped cream but read the packaging wrong. 

“Is not mistake,” Tater had retorted, testy at being corrected. “You see.”

The combination of hot, sweet fruit and cold, tangy sour cream was a revelation. In retrospect, it should have been obvious how perfect they’d be together.

Tater draped a napkin over Dustin’s lap with a flourish, then handed him the pie. Both plate and napkin were bright and fussy, like something Tater’s babushka might have bought. 

Again, not to Dustin’s taste, but you couldn’t serve sympathy pie on minimalist matte-black plates.

“Now we talk,” Tater said. “You sad because Laurel sad, yes?”

He nodded. He saw events play out as if they’d just happened. The expectant, eager look on Laurel’s face when he said he needed to talk to her, the way her smile just shattered when he said he didn’t want anything long-term, the sound she had made. The sudden nausea when he realized that their anniversary was in three days and she had been expecting will you marry me and not it’s not you it’s me.

“Yeah. Like I said, worst person in the world.” He pointed at himself with his fork. He might not want to spend the rest of his life with Laurel, but he still liked her. Loved her, even if not enough for forever. And he had hurt her. Badly.

“Imagine something for me,” Tater said after a minute, unusually serious. He leaned in and put a hand on Dustin’s shoulder. “Imagine she not sad at all. Okay, maybe little bit sad, but she say ‘You are right, Snowy. We should break up. Now I move to Vancouver and meet someone new.’ How you feel now?”

He thought. He thought about not having her around to go on dates with, to sleep with, to be around, to have fun with. She checked all the right boxes. 

She was the perfect girlfriend—

—for someone else. 

“I feel…”

Underneath the guilt and sadness, he felt the same peace he felt when he first realized he could just end things. He felt the absence of a dread that grew each time someone said something about how perfect they were together, or about locking that down.

He felt relief at avoiding something that was starting to seem inevitable.

Other things became clearer as well.

For example, how fucked up was it that he got more of a cozy domesticity fix from his best friend than he ever had from his girlfriend? Ex-girlfriend.

“I feel like I did the right thing.” 

Laurel could begin moving on instead of waiting for a proposal that would never come or that would turn into a disaster of a marriage. She could find someone who wanted to be with her forever.

“But I still feel like shit for breaking her heart. I wish I could fix that.”

“See? You good person.” Tater punctuated this with a sharp nod. “Not worst in world.”

“You’re a good friend, Tates. The best.” He sighed. “I guess marriage just isn’t my thing.”

Tater went silent and pensive for a moment. Probably thinking about his own lack of relationship success. At least that made two of them, now.

Dustin turned the chair’s massage settings from ‘Meditative Waves’ to ‘Angry Swedish Nurse.’ He deserved it, after all this emotional shit.

“No. I lied. I’m gonna marry this chair.”

Tater tsked. “No. You need time. You just break up, remember?” 

Dustin laughed. If it was shaky, he would blame the massage setting. “Where’d you get this thing anyway? And why?”

Tater muttered something vague about impulse buys and winning lots of money on some stupid bet, then showed Dustin how to turn on the seat warmer.

He could stay here forever.

Funny how that thought didn’t fill him with dread.

* * *

Alexei spent more time at B and Zimmboni’s place in the days after winning the Cup than he did at his own. It wasn’t exactly intentional, but Zimmboni had a couch that was long enough for him to stretch out his bad leg, and B loved having someone to fuss over. Besides, his apartment was just two floors down so he could go there any time he wanted. 

In theory.

“I’m surprised you aren’t spending more time with Snowy,” B said. It sounded like a question. Zimmboni shot him a look.

B ignored that and handed Alexei a slice of pecan pie. It had taken some coaching on B’s part, but Alexei could finally pronounce ‘pecan’ correctly. He would have to find an excuse to drop it into an interview at some point.

“Snowy live in building two blocks over, not two floors up,” he said between bites of pie. “And his furniture not comfortable.” He sketched out the shape of one of Snowy’s chairs in mid-air. It looked more like a geometry exercise than something you could sit in. “All metal and edges and… yuck!”

It was a reason, but it wasn’t the only reason.

“I see,” B said brightly. “And here I was all worried that something was wrong between you two.”

“Wrong? Nothing wrong! Why you think something wrong?”

It wasn’t really a lie if things were only wrong in his own head, right? Once he stopped dreaming about kissing Snowy after winning the Cup the way Zimmboni had kissed B, everything would be fine. Right?

“Oh, no reason,” B said, voice like sugar. “Just… you two normally spend all your free time together, but instead you’re here.”

Alexei smiled and held out his now-empty plate for a refill. “No. Everything fine!”

B took the plate, but did not head back to the kitchen. He looked down at Alexei. 

“Normally, I would never, ever be deliberately rude to a guest, especially an injured guest who knows how to properly appreciate a good slice of pie, or a half-dozen biscuits with gravy, or a whole pound of bacon, but you’ve got me wondering, hon—what’s Russian for ‘cock-blocking’?”

“Jesus, Bits…” Zimmboni groaned, but he was also laughing. “It’s not that we don’t love you Tater—”

“—but a little alone time would be kind of nice. Listen. Whyn’t you come up for breakfast tomorrow? You and Snowy both. I’ll make those blueberry pancakes you like so much.”

Before Tater could do anything but nod, B was on the phone with Snowy. “If you want to come over and retrieve your favorite Russian, that pie I promised is all ready for you… Mmm-hmm… Blackberry with crumb topping… Right… See you soon!” He hung up and his smile crinkled the corners of his eyes, showing that any irritation he had felt had melted away. “I think he’s missed you, the past few days.” 

It took less time than it should for Snowy to get to Zimmboni’s place. Maybe he was already on his way over when B called, and Alexei didn’t know what to do with that idea.

Maybe Snowy didn’t know, either, because instead of coming right in when B opened the door for him, he just stood there for a moment. 

“Hey, Tater,” he said, strangely quiet. B ignored any awkwardness, and handed Snowy a pie box before dragging Zimmboni down the hall towards the bedroom. Neither he nor Snowy said anything until they heard a door being shut firmly.

“Sorry if I’ve kind of been avoiding you the past couple days,” Snowy said. He ran a hand through his hair, pulling it all out of order. “I had to get my head around a couple of things.”

“I understand.” The daydream about kissing Snowy started up in the back of his mind. He had no idea how to stop it playing. Also, hadn’t he been the one avoiding Snowy? “Is okay, now?”

Snowy nodded sharply. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about things since I broke up with Laurel, and also since…” He nodded down the hallway. It was quiet for now, but it wouldn’t be much longer. “Things have changed, or no… it’s not that they’ve changed. I’m just seeing them differently. Anyhow, I’m not making a whole lot of sense, so let me just get to it—can I take you out to dinner?”

Alexei looked at Snowy. At the way Snowy looked at him. “That sound like date,” he said cautiously.

“It can be.” Snowy paused, so nervous it broke Alexei’s heart. “If you want, that is.”

“I do. I do want. For long, long time.”

* * *

Two years later, or at least close enough to the two-year-anniversary of being more-than-friends, Dustin and Tater woke up in a Las Vegas hotel room that made Tater’s apartment look starkly minimalist by comparison.

Tater frowned at the ring on his left hand. Dustin had a matching one. “Not again…” Tater groaned.

“Viva Las Vegas,” Dustin muttered. It was about time he got accidentally married in Vegas, like so many other Falcs had. Tater had been through it twice already with Parson and Seguin (they really needed to not have the NHL awards in Vegas). “So, you know what to do about this?” 

“Da. We take care of before practice, easy-peasy.” 

Or not so easy-peasy, as it happened. The Aces’ lawyer, a fussy, grumpy little man, glared at them through big, round spectacles as he explained why—given that they freely admitted to engaging in intimate relations over the past two years—a nice, speedy annulment was not an option.

“It will have to be a divorce, which will take longer, which means more of my time that will be billed to the Falconers. Most teams have it set up so the fees can be deducted from your paycheck. Please note that I bill five hundred dollars hourly, and that—”

“No,” Dustin blurted out. In the silence that followed, he wondered what the hell had possessed him.

“No?” The lawyer’s gaze could have impaled butterflies to a mounting board. 

“No?” Tater just looked confused. And also a little sad. “But you always say you not want marriage, nyet? Is why you break up with Laurel. So we divorce.”

“Yeah, you’re right. No! Not about the divorce!” he said quickly, before Tater could look any more sad. “I mean about Laurel and why I broke up with her.”

The lawyer cleared his throat. “While these soap opera dramatics are entertaining, gentlemen, I do have other business today…”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Look, it took me a couple of years, but I finally figured it out.”

Tater raised an eyebrow. He looked as if he didn’t trust himself to speak. 

“It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be married. What I didn’t want was to be married to someone who isn’t my best friend. Who isn’t you.”

Tater’s smile started small, then bloomed across his face. He turned to the lawyer. “Never mind! We go!”

“Yes, yes, fine.” He shooed them off with a flick of his fingers. “Congratulations and so on, but please refrain from any celebratory fornication until you are off the premises.”

They hurried out past the line of other happy couples waiting to have their marriages annulled. Tater paused to fist-bump Bogrov, his good buddy on the Aces, who apparently had accidentally married one of the linesmen instead of his girlfriend. They also nodded hello to Marty and Guy, and said they’d tell the coach they might be a little late to practice.

“So, when do you want to tell the guys?” Dustin asked. 

Tater looked guilty. “I already tell them about accidental marriage.”

“What?!” 

“Not that we decide we stay married,” Tater hurried to explained, “but Parson tell Zimmboni about tradition Aces have—”

They entered the locker room just then, and Dustin learned the hard way that the Aces glitter-bombed players who got drunk-married for the first time.

He was still finding glitter in awkward places later that night, when he and most of the other Falcs were at Kent Parson and Jeff Troy’s place for a sudden but not-so-accidental wedding.

He enjoyed the ceremony, even though both grooms had crashed his net a total of four times during last night’s game and they were all in the middle of the goddamn Stanley Cup Finals. He would always remember how for a few blissful hours under the desert sky, it didn’t matter that they’d played a vicious game last night and would play another one tomorrow night. 

What he would remember most of all, though, was the way Parson and Troy couldn’t stop gazing into each other’s eyes as they recited their vows. It left him awestruck and reaching for Tater’s hand. From the way Tater squeezed his hand in return, Dustin knew he felt it, too. 

If that’s how he and Tater looked at each other, then why the hell had they taken so long to get their act together?

“Wanna join in?” he whispered to Tater. A number of other couples were taking advantage of Nevada’s marriage laws and the presence of an ordained Elvis impersonator to tie the knot or to renew their vows. “It kind of sucks that our friends weren’t at our first wedding, huh?”

Dustin wasn’t sure what he expected when Tater told the group that they were staying married and renewing their vows. Congratulations, for sure. Also chirping. Marty might take in and dole out cash as people collected and paid off wagers on their wedding. There might even be tears.

What he was not expecting was slack-jawed silence followed by “Wait, WHAT?”

“Uh, I don’t see what’s so surprising, guys. We’ve been dating for like two y—”

“You’re dating?!”

“TWO YEARS??”

As for poor Jack, he looked like someone had shorted his circuits.

“I think we forget to tell them,” Tater whispered.

“Whoops?”

The only one not surprised was Bitty, who gave the rest of the Falcs a gentle bless your hearts before turning back to him and Tater. 

“I think what they all meant to say is ‘congratulations.’ I don’t know why they’re so surprised. After all, anyone can see that the two of you are perfect together,” Bitty said. 

Other people had said that to him once, and it had felt like a life sentence. Now, though, it felt like freedom.

“Yeah,” he said. Dustin leaned up to peck his husband on the cheek. “It just took some of us longer to see that than others.”

[sassyduckqueen]

30 Days of Lukanette - Mermaid (1/3)

This is it. The beginning of the end. Get your tissues, hold on and get ready for this ride because this is how it's gonna go down. Party Crasher, Felix and Songbird are all happening after these Cat Blanc events. To work with the themes, I have rearranged them again! This is now the order that they will be in: Mermaid, Soulmates (Cat Blanc!!), Reincarnation, Witches & Cats (Felix), Songbird and finally Vigilante (Party Crasher? Maybe? Seriously, trying to think how to do this one without Master Fu). Like my version of Loveater and Miracle Queen, this next three chapters will all be set one after the other. Good luck.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, Marinette! Hey, Luka!" Kim grinned as he waved over at them. Luka waved back as Marinette grinned before she grabbed his hand and rushed over. "Didn't think you two were into swimming?"

 "We're not so much but the pool can be really fun and relaxing," Luka smiled as Marinette nodded.

 "Yeah. I'm not very good at swimming but I've improved since I took up lessons," She smiled. Luka looked at her.

 "I could always show you two how to swim!" Kim grinned proudly. "I've got a spare time til Ondine turns up. She's my girlfriend and swimming partner! She's so fun and super cool! Hey, why don't you two join us after swimming? We're gonna grab food afterwards!"

 "We wouldn't want to intrude," Marinette gasped as Luka nodded.

 "You wouldn't be!" He grinned, proudly. "Here she is now! I'll ask her! Hey! Ondine!"

 "Hey, Kim," She gasped as she ran over. "Are you ready for tonight? I was able to get us a table at Bouillon Chartier for tonight,"

 "Amazing! Hey are you cool if my friends Luka and Marinette joined us?" He asked, making her frown.

 "I don't know if we'll be able to change the table to accommodate for four people and I was hoping it would just be us two...." She mumbled, looking down. 

 "Hey! Don't worry about us two!" Luka grinned as Marinette nodded.

 "Yeah! You two go have fun and enjoy yourselves!" She grinned, causing Ondine to smile.

 "Oh thank you," She gasped before grabbing Kim's hand and diving into the pool. Luka and Marinette both smiled before sitting at the pool edge and relaxing. Luka looked up at the celing and smiled to himself.

 "You ok?"

 "Yeah. Just remembering the last time we were here. Hey, will we get ice cream after this?" He asked, grinning. She laughed softly.

 "If you want," She smiled as he looked at her. She blushed lightly as her eyes landed on his lips before she blushed and looked away. "Um..."

 "Mari," He stated, sweetly, causing her to look at him again before he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her mouth. She blushed heavily as she wasn't expecting it.

 "W-what was that for?"

 "A thank you... my life has improved so much since you came into it... I'm even thinking about rejoining school..." He admitted, making her raise an eyebrow.

 "Why did you leave in the first place?" She asked. He sighed softly, knowing she would ask eventually. "You don't have to tell-"

 "I was getting bullied," He admitted, causing her to be a little surprised. "Both me and Juleka were. She got it worst then me. It's why she is the way she is now. All shy and scared. She found a solution to stop it. She made herself invisible but it's like she can't stop... but me... in a way, I got the worst of it. I got beaten up on a daily basic and called every name under the sun. When I tried to tell the teachers, the kids responsible made me look like I was lying and emotionally blackmailed me. They often used Juleka as a way to hurt me even more. They threatened to hurt her if I told anyone. Because I was a child, I believed them. That's why I took a dislike to Lila. She reminded me of the bullies I had to face when I went to school,"

 "I'm so sorry that happened, Luka," Marinette gasped. She had seen him hurt and depressed but the only word she could describe the way he looked was right now was broken.

 "It got worst as the years when by. As you know I was diagnosed with depression at 10 years old. Well, my school didn't believe me or my mum despite the medical records and when my bullies found it, it just made everything worst. Anyway, after three years, I finally broke. My mum had just gone through a divorce with my dad and the bullies thought they could try and use it to hurt me more then they already did but it didn't work out for them. I ended up just completely lashing out. I broke one of their noses and put the ringleader in hospital with broken ribs. I didn't mean to kick him that hard but I just had enough and all the times he had shoved me in a locker or punched me in the face.... they just flooded my mine and I kept kicking him before I finally stopped and suffered a full blown panic attack..." Luka mumbled as he looked down. "I know I should have been the bigger person... but they said it was my fault that my dad had left... that he couldn't stand having a son like me..."

 "Luka..." Marinette sighed as she hugged him. He hugged back before he pulled away.

 "I was expelled from that school and when it came to finding a new one, I begged my mum not to let me go and to home school me instead..." He sighed. "She promised to if I promised to learn how to control my anger and depression. Hence why I meditate,"

 "Oh, Luka," Marinette gasped, taking his hands and looking at him with a look of pure admiration. "You're amazing and brave. It's no wonder why Master Fu chose you,"

 "Marinette..." He felt touched by her words but as usual, he wasn't sure how to say so. So he wrapped his arms around her and brought her into a hug, which she happily returned. He nuzzled his face in her neck as she placed her cheek against his shoulder. "Thank you,"

 "For what?"

 "Everything..." 

 "Luka..." She mumbled before they both heard shouting. They separated and looked over as Ondine looked heartbroken at Kim.

 "You forgot!" She gasped. "It's our one year anniversary and you forgot!"

 "I'm really sorry, Ondine. I've had a lot on my mind," Kim gasped as she ran into the girl's locker room in tears. Kim sighed as Marinette and Luka got up and walked over. "Oh, hey... I take it you heard that..."

 "Yeah..." Luka mumbled as Marinette frowned.

 "I'm gonna go check on her," She stated before heading inside the girl's locker room. Luka looked over at Kim.

 "What happened?"

 "I'm an idiot. That's what happened. I completely forgot today was the one year anniversary of our relationship. She had gone to all this trouble to get a table at one of the fancies restrantants in Paris and even got me a sighed swimming cap and I forgot. I asked what the cap was for and she told me. I thought she was joking at first so I was like no way and she was like yes, it is and then I had to admit I forgot..." Kim sighed. Luka gently placed his hand on his shoulder and smiled. 

 "I'm sure you two can work it out," He stated as Marinette rushed out the girl's locker room. As soon as she did, the level of the pool began to rise. "That's not good,"

 "Kim, get to the roof now!" Marinette ordered. Kim didn't need telling twice as he legged it out of the room. Marinette grabbed Luka's hand but the water suddeny washed over them, seperating them. Luka panicked as he looked around for her before swimming his way to the top. He swam across towards the boys' locker room before taking a deep breathe and diving underneath. He swam over to his locker and noticed it was already open and his bag was gone. He swam up and out of the room before looking around.

 "Sass?" He gasped before swimming over to the fire exit. He dived back under and swam through the now open door. He noticed his shoe floating and grabbed it before swimming towards the roof. He finally caught up with where the water was rising and saw his other shoe. He picked it up as he got out of the water and ran up. "Sass?!"

 "Luka?" He heard the little snake gasp. He rushed over and saw Sass trying to get his bag to the dry part with Tikki, who had Marinette's bag. "As soon as the water appeared, I grabbed Tikki and headed this way. Sorry, I dropped your shoes,"

 "It's fine," Luka gasped, grabbing his bag and taking out the power up cakes.

 "Luka, where's-" Tikki hiccuped red bubbles but he knew what she meant. He gently patted the little Kwami.

 "I'm gonna go find her. Get to the roof top ok?" He smiled softly before He took out the green one and threw it to Sass. "Sass, power up!"

 "Aqua Sass!" The little snake declared as he transformed.

 "Aqua Sass! Scales Slither!" Luka declared before transforming into Aqua Viperion. He dived into the water as Tikki floated to the roof and swam back into the pool area. He looked around for Marinette before noticing her float near the bottom of the pool. Her eyes were closed and she wasn't moving. He swam over to her and grabbed her around the waist before swimming as fast as he could to the rooftop. He broke the surface and swam over to the doorway before laying her down on the floor. Tikki gasped as she saw them and floated over. Marinette was completely still and she wasn't breathing. She seemed to have a cut on the side of her head. Panic rose in him but he took a deep breath, calming himself before he pressed against her chest softly before he pinched her nose and took a deep breathe before placing his mouth over hers and pushed the breathe into her. She suddenly gasped, causing him to pull away before she coughed up water.

 "Marinette!" He gasped, moving her hair as she coughed and looked at him. 

 "You're ok," She gasped, hugging him. He hugged back. "Ondine got reakumatized. She can-"

 She coughed before shaking her head.

 "Go find her before she hurts someone else. I'll catch up in a moment," She declared. He frowned but nodded before getting back up and diving into the water. He swam around.

 "I didn't think snakes could swim," The familiar voice of Ondine made him turn around. Only she looked more like a mermaid now.

 "Well, there are such thing as water snakes," He grinned. "So a little fish told me you're upset about your boyfriend forgetting your on-"

 "Shut up!" She screamed before diving at him. He dodged at her.

 "Look, I get it-"

 "He doesn't care!" She screamed. "He forgot!"

 "People have a lot of things going on their lives that can make them forget the important things but I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. I'm sure he loves you,"

 "What do you know about love?!" She screamed, trying to hit him with her tail. 

 "A lot more then you'd think," He replied as Ladybug and Cat joined him. He swam over to them. "Think we'll need a rest point, Aquabug?"

 "Should be fine, Viper,"

 "Do I get a cute nickname too?" Cat purred, making him laugh.

 "Sure, Catfish," He grinned before three of them charged at the mermaid. Despite her been in her element, it didn't take them long to defeat her. With the help of a lucky charm in the form of a fishing net, they captured her and freed her akuma before Ladybug used the miraculous bugs to restore everything back to normal. With Paris no longer submerged, Luka detransformed on the roof, away from prying eyes and ran back down into the swimming pool, where Kim and Ondine were making up. He rushed over as he saw Marinette and hugged her. Even though, he had saved her and fought by her side in the water, seeing her unconscious at the bottom of the pool still freaked him out. for one thing, it reminded him she was a normal human but it also made him think about his dreams. She hugged him back and rested her head against his chest. "You really scared me,"

 "I'm sorry, Luka. I didn't expect that wave to happen," She mumbled, looking up at him before whispering. "Thank you for saving me,"

 "I told you I will always have your back," He smiled softly, looking at her deep in the eyes. A blush came across her face as she looked back. All she could see in his eyes was a look of true love. He really loved her and was willing to protect her. She smiled softly as she moved closer to him.

 "Thank you," She smiled. "I have your back too,"

 He smiled and wrapped his arm around her small frame as Kim and Ondine walked over. 

 "Are you two ok now?"

 "Y-yeah," Ondine replied.

 "I'm taking her out tomorrow night to make up for it," Kim smiled. "But I'm really sorry we interrupted your date,"

 "Date?" Marinette gasped. "O-oh... we're not on a d-date? We're j-just hanging out...."

 Luka frowned but he didn't fail to notice the small, sad look Marinette put aside as she mumbled something.

 "You're not a couple?" Ondine asked. "Kim and I thought you were. We're so sorry,"

 "It's fine. Me and Marinette... are taking it kind of slow..." Luka smiled softly before looking at her with soft eyes. "I'd wait for an eternity for her,"

 "Luka..." Marinette gasped, blushing.

 "Well, I think you make a cute couple!" Ondine gasped, making Marinette blush more. "We're better go anyway! Again, sorry for the trouble!"

 "Bye!" Marinette waved along with Luka before turning around and facing him once there were alone. "You're really ok with taking this all slow?"

 "Of course," He smiled softly.

 "But... what if-"

 "Marinette, your happiness is the most important thing to me," He smiled softly, looking at her. "You know how I feel about you but I don't expect you to love me back. I've said before and I'll say it again. That choice belongs to you. I won't lie because I would love for you to be my girlfriend but if you chose not to be, I will never hate you for it. I promise you here and now that I will always respect your choice regardless of how it affects me and that I will always value you as a person and a friend and if you decide I'm the one for you then I will try my best to make you happy but if you decide I'm not then that's cool too,"

 "Thank you, Luka," She smiled, hugging him. "I like taking it slow with you. I like getting to know you,"

 "I like getting to know you too," He smiled softly. "Shall we get changed and go get some ice cream?"

 "Sounds good to me,"

 ~The Next Day~

 "We were happy," Cat stated as he walked over. His eyes were cold and blue. "I was happy..."

 "Cat.... please... tell me what happened!" Ladybug gasped as she stared at him with Ryuko was ready to attack if she had to but Bunnyx was no where to be seen. Viperion, on the other hand, was looking around. The whole of Paris had been flooded. Everything was submerged, apart from the building they were stood on now. He looked around and frowned to himself as he saw the moon in the sky. Only it was partly destroyed. "

 'That's what caused the flood,' He thought to himself as he turned his attention back to Cat, who was looking down.

 "I made a mistake and I lost it all but now you're here, I can fix it," He mumbled before looking at her. "Just give me your miraculous, Mi'lady and I can fix all of this! No more hawkmoth! No more pain! Just me and you together forever!"

 Viperion instantly moved in front of Ladybug as Cat looked at her with an insane and almost hungry look. Ladybug looked absolutely broken and Ryuko looked mad but not as angry as Cat looked right now.

 "You're always getting in my way!" He snarled. "You slithered into our team and stole mi'lady from right beneath my nose!"

 "I never stole her because she was never yours to begin with or mine!" He shouted back. "Ladybug is her own person! Her choices are hers! Not ours!"

 "Shut up!" He screamed before flying a white ball at Viperion, only for Ladybug to push him out the way and get hit by it. Viperion screamed as he tried to catch her, only to see her cold, dead eyes before she turned into stone. "Mi'lady!! Look at what you've done!"

 Viperion didn't say a thing as he held her. Tears rolled down his face as his bracelet beeped. He looked up as Ryuko dives at him, only to be turned to stone too. Cat keeps walking towards him as he seemed determined to hurt him. Bunnyx suddenly dives out of a burrow but Cat is too fast for her and pretty soon, she joins Ladybug and Ryuko.

 "Look at what you've done!" Cat snarled. "I had a chance to fix it and now they're all dead! Everyone is dead because of you!"

 "No... I didn't do this! Cat, listen to me! Hawkm-"

 "Hawkmoth is dead!" He snarled as Viperion detransformed into Luka. For a minute, Cat seemed shocked but then he narrows his steel blue eyes and a deep growl comes from his throat. He doesn't try to destroy him. Instead, he just smirks and the bright light forms again....

 Luka woke up in a cold sweat as he came back from his nightmare. It seemed to have gone into more detail then the last time. He felt like every time he had one, it was bringing him closer and closer to the event that caused this. He wasn't sure what it was but it must have been bad for him to be getting these dreams. He got up and headed to the bathroom. He splashed his face with water and shakily looked in the mirror. He looked tired and drained. He sighed and dried his face before heading back to his room. He paced up and down it's length as Sass watched him.

 "Luka?"

 "I'm trying to think," He mumbled. "What could possible have caused Cat to turn into that... thing? It must of been something devastating to him because the cat I know. He would not end up like that. Hawkmoth must of done something... and the moon... it was split in half, Sass... god, this is so bad... and I don't know what to do. Why am I having these dreams?!"

 "You are sensitive and a good match for me," 

 "I wish I wasn't right now. I just... She dies.. Marinette dies! They all die and I don't think it's just my friends... Sass, the moon controls the ocean and Paris was completely submerged in water so what happened to the rest of the world?! Is everyone dead? Oh, god... Juleka... Mum.... Rose... all the friends I've made! They're all gonna-gonna... d-die..." Luka felt his breathing hitch as he started to realize that everyone he ever loved would be dead. He gripped his chest as he started to hyperventilate. Sass floated over and gently placed his hand on his shoulder.

 "Breathe, Luka. Copy me," He stated in a calm voice. "Breathe in!"

 He inhaled and Luka copied.

 "Breath out!" He released the breathe. Luka did the same. "In!"

 They took another deep breathe.

 "And Out!" They released that breathe together, repeating the action til Luka could breathe again. He sank down into his floor as he finally let the tears roll down his face. The despair he felt knowing that everyone would die, that Cat would be driven mad to the point of destroying the earth and feeling hopeless to save it. It was almost too much but Luka knew he had to calm down. If he didn't, an akuma could come for him and that was the last thing he wanted to happen. Especially with it been Adrien's birthday today. He had been very surprised when he had gotten an invite to his party. All the celebrities were going but apparently, Adrien had convinced his father to let some of his friends go and he apparently considered Luka a friend, even though they didn't hang out that often. However, he did like Adrien and didn't want him to have a bad birthday so he decided to go. it helped that Marinette would be there, along with their other friends. He kept taking deep breathes before finally calming down. "You good?"

 "I'm good, Sass," He smiled softly. "Thank you,"

 The little snake hugged himself against Luka's cheek.

 "Good. I don't want you to be akumatized," He smiled before sitting on his knee. Luka patted his head softly. 

 "Me Neither, Sass,"

[engagemachine]

@valyriansword and I have been talking about TLJ and it’s been the most rewarding/validating conversation and I’M SO GRATEFUL to have someone who is able to express how they feel (AND HOW I ALSO FEEL) so articulately. I’m just so excited because walking out of that theater was such a conflicting experience and I didn’t know how I felt or how I was supposed to feel or what to make of what I’d just seen, but I feel more at “peace” after discussing so thoroughly the film’s high and low points. I’ve also just come back from seeing the film for a second time and feel that I’m better able to express a lot of my thoughts.

So with all of that being said, SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF THINGS KATRINA SAID and then my own additions added on at the end (spoilers ahead):

“what I really disliked was the little “oh I feel the force” joke, mostly because it felt like I was seeing Daisy Ridley and Mark Hamill fooling around then actual Rey and Luke. I don’t know, the humor did not work for during a lot of parts.” –This is something I echoed several times to different people after seeing the film, because there were a couple points in the film where the humor felt entirely misplaced and even inappropriate at times. The scene where Rey is meditating on the rock and thinks she is feeling the Force (when in actuality it is Luke waving a plant over her hand) was one of those scenes that felt overtly comical. I don’t appreciate humor when it feels so forced. There were moments meant to be funny that simply did not feel genuine. Maybe the humor felt oddly placed at times because there wasn’t really time to properly laugh over it before the characters were moving on and were back into serious mode. The “reaction time” felt cut short, in a sense, and I’ve never seen that happen in a film before.

“Yeah the pulling her [Rey] around the room stuff was weird. He [Snoke] was the most one-dimensional character in TFA but I liked him so much better back then? I liked how mysterious he was? But here he was SUCH a twirling-mustache villain in this movie, and he talked way too much. Actually, everyone in this movie talked too much. what made TFA so great was the subtext, the things /not/ said, like the interrogation room scene, peppered with so many ambiguous moments “don’t be afraid I feel it too” “I see it, I see the island”…so ripe with tension because of that, and so magical. But this movie kinda broke the fourth wall a few times and was very self-aware and I was not a fan of that.” –I firstly wanted to address Snoke, because I agree full-heartedly with what Katrina said about him being such a mustache-twirly villain in TLJ. He was mysterious in The Force Awakens, and while I don’t think anyone really liked him much in TFA, he was, at least, much more threatening and scary than he ever was in TLJ; I think there was some initial disappoint in seeing him in non-hologram form—before, he was only this crackly, large shadow figure. Now we’re seeing him in all of his full glory, and not only is he wearing this sparkly, gold bathrobe, (which: what the FUCK?) but he’s talking way too much. The speech he delivers moments before he is killed probably bothers me more than anything else he said. He goes on and on about how he sees everything, that nothing surprises him… and then is killed by the lightsaber sitting next to him. It was too easy. I also thought him pulling Rey around the room was very strange, perhaps it was the way it was filmed, but there was just something off about it to me.  

About characters saying too much—I’ve never agreed with a comment more. There was so much dialogue that was just flat-out bad, so many moments that felt so strangely out of character. I think my biggest grievance with the dialogue was that a lot of it felt so circular. (The whole film felt circular, but I’ll save that for later) in that it never actually accomplishes anything or establishes a theme that we didn’t already know. Certainly the most revealing dialogue came from Kylo and Rey’s shared moments. But I’m still scratching my head over some of the dialogue between Rey and Luke, and the scene on Ahch-to where we’re led to believe that Rey’s parentage is about to be revealed, and then… isn’t. What was the point of the multiple reflections of Reys? Even the moment between Yoda and Luke wasn’t as impactful as it could have been—the piss-poor dialogue being the causative factor, in my opinion.

There are several other moments where I wished the actors had been given the ability to just act—this is one of the most talented ensembles of actors in a single film, and their freedoms to do what they do best have been stripped from them, and they’re instead forced to spout all this useless dialogue that doesn’t really advance the plot, and that doesn’t reveal to us anything we don’t already know.

Yoda’s speech wasn’t all bad—what he said about failing to teach your failures, and how that can be just as harmful as hiding them completely was very poignant, I thought. 

“Rian just seemed weirdly obsessed with the Resistance storyline when it was a much simpler, off-to-the-side thing before. I came in ready to see a movie about Rey’s growth as a person, learning the ways of the force, learning about balance, having mixed feelings about Kylo. instead it was more like… “you’re a MONSTER… but I forgive you and I want to save you and I’ll recklessly give myself up to the first order just to be with you, baby” which. was so. out of character. I had way more issues with that than with the force bond itself. And then the rest of the movie was a cheesy story about how heroic the resistance is and a tiny subplot about Rey bickering with retired Luke. Who apparently disconnected from the force but then reconnected with no issues?” –I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: there was no forward momentum in this film, no real advancement in the plot beyond what happens to Kylo, and I’m so baffled as to why. The Resistance spent the entire film running away from the First Order (all on the premise that their fuel supply was running low, which… what???), a storyline that could have been effectively told in under 15 minutes.

I’m also crushed by what was done with Finn. Such a central character in TFA, in TLJ, he was reduced to completing some side quest that ended up having no relevance to the film. And why the fuck did Rey and Finn NEVER EVEN SPEAK? They hugged, yes, but the fact that no dialogue was shared between them practically kills me. If Poe and Rey can share a split-second of dialogue, surely that same courtesy could have been extended to Finn and Rey, who share one of the most beautiful friendships in the Star Wars universe.

Katrina pointed out something else that I would have loved to of seen, which is more of an internal struggle within Rey, specifically her growth as a Jedi, and my desire to see more conflict between her and the Dark side. There was so much conflict driving her in TFA, and in TLJ it felt as if her conflict was presented and then solved within an hour into the film, tied off with a neat little bow on top, and that was that. I just feel very sad for her character. I wanted more for her story.

As for Luke, which I’ll get to more in a minute—it goes without saying that I am sad about what became of him in this film as well, everything from his portrayal to his subsequent death. (Which, by the way: WHY MUST THIS NEW TRILOGY KILL OFF EVERY SINGLE TRIO MEMBER FROM THE ORIGINAL TRILOGY. W H Y.)

“Yeah Luke was extra and I feel like that Fashion statement was the only truly in-character moment for him. I feel like they did not do him justice, certainly not enough justice for him to be offed in the end like that. It’s weird because with Han I felt his death so, so deeply, even when I didn’t know anything about him, but with Luke I was just way too “the FUCK” to really react emotionally.” –This is exactly how I felt about Luke’s death, which was so jarring in a way that’s difficult to even put into words. Luke deserved a proper burial, something commemorative, something honorable, something more than just a split second scene of him disintegrating into dust, and his Jedi robe mystically blowing off into the wind. Darth Vader got a proper burial, it just stands to reason that Luke should have gotten one too. I felt like I’d been robbed of the moment to properly mourn Luke’s loss, Luke—the character who is arguably the centerfold for the entire Star Wars universe.

Some of my other grievances include whatever the fuck that casino scene/subplot was supposed to be, which was just so messy and jarring inside the Star Wars universe that I didn’t feel like I was watching a Star Wars film at all. I hate admitting to experiencing boredom in a Star Wars film, but both times I’ve watched that scene, I found my thoughts drifting to ways they could have better utilized that time and space in the film. It’s such a tragedy to me.

Another thing that I strongly disliked—and I wasn’t able to put my finger on this until the second viewing—but some of the transitions are so poorly done, I couldn’t help but notice how much they stand out, and not in a good way. There’s something very clunky and awkward about how the scenes cut from one to the next, it doesn’t feel smooth and organic like in TFA. I felt as if I was being tugged from one storyline/set of characters to the next and then back again, leaving me with a sensation that felt almost like whiplash.

Which brings me to my final point, which is that TLJ is simply not a cohesive film within the Star Wars universe. It doesn’t feel like a Star Wars film to me, and that perhaps is what saddens me more than anything else. I know a lot of fans criticized J.J. for what they assumed to be his apparent lack of imagination, or his lack of risk-taking within the Star Wars universe when it came to TFA, but what I appreciated were his subtle nods to the previous SW films, I appreciate him reinventing the Star Wars universe while still maintaining the feel and tone of the previous films. It felt honorary and appropriate.

To me, TLJ falls into a pitfall that I’ve seen too many times before, which is that it is extremely difficult to carry on a story and trilogy of films that is cohesive when you have different directors overseeing them. Regardless of the decisions that were already predetermined at the time that the plans for this new trilogy were mapped out, there’s no doubt that the director oversees and greatly affects the overall tone and feel of the film.

And look, this isn’t a totally awful film—I think we can all agree, collectively, that while the prequels are pretty bad, we like them because they’re Star Wars films, because we grew up watching them and there’s a pretty strong sense of nostalgia we’ve tacked onto them. Maybe in some years’ time, The Last Jedi will acquire that same sense of nostalgia. One can only hope. 

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #171

UPDATE 171: Like Punching Your Own Face

Last time Roxy had managed to create the matriorb out of thin air, and Dave and Dirk were finally having a much-needed conversation, Dave unloading everything he had in his head regarding Bro’s way of raising him. It was raw and made me sympathize a lot with Dave, but it’s not over yet. Let’s continue.

The first thing I read in this update is Dirk apologizing. Huh. It wasn’t your fault, Dirk, Dave simply had the bad luck of being raised by a sucky version of you. Then again, as it was pointed to me: Dirk himself admitted long ago that he has no business raising anyone. He’s not wrong, if this was the result. Roxy didn’t do a stellar job, but she wasn’t a complete disaster – the ocean-sized gap that’s the lack of communication between the Lalondes was the problem. All in all, maybe not having to raise them by themselves would have helped.

DAVE: you had a completely different life full of like  DAVE: different choices and actions and stuff 

He’s not wrong about that, environment shapes people a lot. I wonder how alternate Dave would have raised Dirk if there wasn’t the slight problem of Dirk being a few centuries in the future...and also if alternate Dave hadn’t been killed. That can’t have been of help either.

Dirk continues feeling responsible of what Bro did, saying he needs to take responsibility for all the splinters that are him. It’s hard to understand, a bit. I honestly can’t even start saying how complicated it is to feel like that – but somehow I have the feeling that a lot of people in the world would feel responsible for what their alternates do. I don’t know if I would.

DIRK: I've felt...  DIRK: Haunted by them.  DIRK: And what that really means is, I'm perpetually haunted by my own bad qualities. 

You literally made glasses that are filled with some of your own bad qualities, Dirk. You kinda brought that one to yourself, just saying.

Dave appreciates Dirk’s apologies, even though it feels weird to hear it from someone that isn’t the Bro he knew, which in turn makes Dirk confess that he isn’t even happy with his relationships with his peers – especially with Jake. Well yeah, no surprise there, everything is still a fresh wound. It was just a day ago or so that Jake was telling to other people that he felt suffocated. Who knows, maybe in the future that’ll change! Don’t give up, Dirk.

It’s nice to see that Dave and Dirk are trying to give support to each other despite the trouble they have to connect. It’s clumsy, it’s distant, but they’re trying. It’s more akin to pulling teeth than a heartfelt conversation, buuuuuuut it’s the best the Striders can do.

DAVE: you dont actually seem like a bad person to me though  DIRK: No?  DAVE: nah  DIRK: Why not?  DIRK: We did just meet, after all.  DAVE: because  DAVE: i dunno if truly bad people wrestle so much with whether theyre good or bad 

Dirk is not a bad person. He can be extremely difficult to deal with, but he’s not bad. I’m sure hearing it from Dave will make it resonate more than if he had heard it from anyone else, even if everyone else would be more energetic about telling him that he’s a good person. Dirk isn’t even accepting it from Dave at face value, although he is grateful about it. Everyone else idolized him, after all.

DIRK: She meant well, but was so enamored of me, and seemingly everything I did.  DIRK: Which I think was the last thing I needed.  DIRK: To be idolized in some form by other people I respected.  DIRK: I had enough of that feeling coming from within, particularly when I was younger. 

No wonder Bro ended like that. I really don’t think anyone dared to tell him about his flaws. I suppose that maybe this could be interpreted as a sign that Bro respected Dave, but I’m not going to think that’s correct. That relationship was pretty messed up, after all.

Dave sounds genuinely floored to hear everything his alternate self did in Dirk’s universe, including killing clown presidents and somehow managing to make a million Statues of Liberty. I’m still wrapping my head around that one. Could that have been how things would have gone if the world hadn’t ended horribly? Hm...no. The movies and all were a way to give the Condesce a sucker punch, no Condesce means those concrete movies wouldn’t exist. It’s hard to say what would have happened. Maybe Dave really would have gone into the fields that study dead stuff.

Dirk tried to follow Dave’s perceived good traits. Golly, Dave must have never seen that coming.

DIRK: You get to apply all that potential you showed in one reality to something much bigger and more existentially critical.  DIRK: Whatever strength you showed in trying to save a dying planet, the fact is, I think we need that more here.  DIRK: And the trials inherent in being a part of something like this, I think they bring more out of you than a relatively pedestrian life on Earth would. Make you face more things about yourself. At least, that's been true for me. 

Oh hey, I just realized that this alternate Dave pretty much did everything that’s expected of the Dave we know: fight, resist, and pretty much be a cornerstone of the rebellion against the Condesce. He’s everything Dave doesn’t think he can be. Think about that, Dave.

DIRK: I hope it doesn't come off as overly sentimental garbage, but it seems to me like you turned out to be a really good dude.  DIRK: Like, really, a better sort of dude I ever imagined talking to when I pictured meeting the legendary guy I idolized.  DIRK: I pictured him as probably being "too cool" to be the type of guy you are.  DIRK: But you know what, fuck being too cool for that.

Congratulations, you pretty much punched Dave’s hopes from when he was thirteen years old. It’s for the better. Somehow hearing that Dave is not the “cool” person Dave had once hoped Bro would see him as catches him off-guard. Here we go! This’ll be the turning point for Dave, won’t be it? Things are going to change for him – hopefully! Dave certainly had the big character arc in Homestuck, even if he says people don’t have arcs.

And here we go!

DAVE: its really fucked up of me  DAVE: what im presently doing  DAVE: so  DAVE: sorry about that  DIRK: Oh, y-  DIRK: Yeah.  DIRK: Man.  DIRK: This is some fucked up shit alright.  DAVE: i know

This is much more than I expected. Of all things that could happen, a hug wasn’t even close to the top of the list. This is actually a pretty sweet moment, I’m glad it actually happened. Part of me was sure Hussie wouldn’t show them talking, but he did. I’m glad I was proven wrong about it.

So! There’s only one conversation left before things may kick into overdrive straight towards the last part of Homestuck! Roxy is going to meet Kanaya, surely to give her the matriorb. Things are winding down everywhere else, it won’t be long now!

Roxy appears from the skies with a ‘heeeeeey’ and repeats it a few more times, preparing the surprise by telling her to guess what she brought. I can guarantee that the matriorb is not going to be a guess here, hah!

KANAYA: Is It The Thing Behind Your Back  ROXY: yup but u gotta be more specific  KANAYA: Is It A Little Piece Of Paper That Says Hey On It  ROXY: hahahahaha no but that would be SO FUNNY! 

I won’t lie, I wouldn’t have been surprised if it hadn’t been that. Wish you had thought about it before. Maybe there’s still time to write “I.O.U one (1) matriorb” on any random rock and give it to her...or maybe that’d be cruel. Shrug.

Not wasting any more time, Roxy presents the matriorb, much to Kanaya’s astonishment. She’s so surprised she can barely express her surprise while Roxy tries to explain in vague terms. Look at that, Kanaya has tears in her eyes! It must be hard to describe, the feeling of hope in seeing the way the troll race is going to be resurrected. Keep it away from the Condesce and everything should be fine.

Nobody would have thought that the way to revive the trolls would just be given to her like this, but she can’t complain. There’s a lot of work to do, the mother larva isn’t going to raise itself. There’s a life of duty and work ahead of her.

Where’s Karkaroni, asks Roxy? “Meditating”. With his face deep into the dirt. You’re so lucky you’re telling this to someone Roxy doesn’t know very well, nobody else would believe such answer.

Roxy gets into her role of Rose’s mother and tries to know Kanaya better, asking about the meteor tri, where everybody formed small groups and only convened like twice of three times. It wasn’t the social jamboree Roxy imagined. Could have been worse, Roxy. It was worse once. At least now everyone is more or less getting along and Kanaya is aware she needs Karkaroni’s help so trolls aren’t like in Alternia.

...having doubts about fighting? Well I can understand Kanaya would want to protect the matriorb and that she believes her skills are not as good as everyone else’s, but if the Condesce isn’t defeated that matriorb will only be good as a paperweight. Roxy points all that and tries to give Kanaya encouragement about her skills. Well not many things can beat a chainsaw in power. That’s all enough to convince Kanaya to go with her and prepare for the fight.

Now that all the dialogue options are over, the point of view returns to the dream bubble where Vriska has gone to harass herself. Yeah, don’t ask me why she’s bothering to do this.

Okay, I read one page and I’m already feeling a bit sick. I don’t know how Hussie is doing this, managing to make me dislike Vriska after I spent most of her appearances liking her. In just a few hundred pages he’s managing to make me not want to read her anymore. It’s going to be difficult to write something that isn’t constant grumbling. Well, there’s one thing...

VRISKA: Remem8er when you used to care a8out that sort of thing?  VRISKA: No, o8viously not.  VRISKA: All you care a8out now is 8ullshit hipstery fashion trends, feeling "happy", and... whatever the fuck it is you're doing here?  VRISKA: Frolicking with some horses in an ugly field or some shit. VRISKA: Just a8solutely disgraceful.  VRISKA: How could I have 8ecome so selfish??  VRISKA: You do know this is selfish, right?  VRISKA: This isn't having some fucking "epiphany" or like "growing as a person" or whatever self-serving spin you might 8e putting on what's happening here.  VRISKA: It's just plain narcissism, the worst kind you're capa8le of. A total renunci8tion of any responsi8ility for contri8uting to the gr8ter good.  VRISKA: And it makes me FUCKING SICK. 

...I have no words. Yeah, looking for personal happiness is selfish, but there’s nothing wrong with being reasonably selfish. I just...I can’t say anything about this that isn’t some sort of circular argument that in the end isn’t worth typing here. I just can’t say anything.

VRISKA: Contrary to your lazy fakey "happy" shit, I've ACTUALLY GROWN AS A PERSON.  VRISKA: What do you think of THAT, you frivolous, dithering 8ITCH???????? 

Like hell you did!

Just...agh.

Looks like the dead Vriska wasn’t wrong, the horses really is a bad omen for her. Meenah is leaving her and going with the Vriska that is alive. At least Meenah has the decency to be conflicted about what she’s feeling and all, but damn, what a way to punch someone that’s already down, Hussie.

Meenah likes dead Vriska a lot, and she admits it, but she’s bored of having an idyllic life with dead Vriska. She wants to fight Lord English and here’s the chance to do it. Dead Vriska may have changed, but Meenah is the same than before, and that one isn’t content with sitting on the sidelines. That’s why she’s leaving – more or less.

I feel bad for dead Vriska. It’s almost hard to believe that the end for the character I knew for so long is this – or at least this seems like the end. It feels...weird. I feel really bad for her. I wish this hadn’t gone for this. Heck, Meenah deciding to go fight Lord English would have been understandable. I just wish this whole thing hadn’t needed to happen.

Hm. I think I should be stopping here for now.

Next update: next time

[nurturingflame]

Week In Review - 65

Lots laid out on the table this week. Maybe that means moving forward there will be less room for misunderstandings. Pfft! HA! Yeah right! Next week we start the Haunted Warehouse Adventures!

To Prune & Grow 13-16

Splinter’s words tumbled in her ears, but it took a moment for them to reach her brain.  Why is he telling me this?

The feel of his fingers on her hand was disconcerting.  When he offered his palm to her, she considered refusing, and had to fight with herself not to.  She didn’t really need any balm. In fact, the little prickles that indicated her healing power was working had already started, and would most likely have her hand good as new before they left.  But he’d gotten the balm for her, come back, offered his hand out, after she’d called him nasty names.  Well, not that nasty.  I’m sure he’s been called worse.  But then, she’d been called much worse than ‘impossible’, both behind her back and to her face.  She she’d placed her palm in his.

The warm pressure of his ministrations sent tingles up her wrist that had nothing to do with the little golden ants that might be gathering there.  He rubbed with the second pad of each finger, lifting the tips to keep the claws from scraping her.  The pressure was consistent and seemed to rub in just the right places, so that her shoulders dropped and she sighed slightly.

Then he began speaking of his wife and daughter, while at the same time she wondered why someone rubbing her hand would feel so nice.  Had it been that long since someone had touched her in a compassionate way?  She couldn’t remember.

Even in a loving union...Perhaps she had misread the relationship between Splinter and Eliza.  While the ferret had insisted that there was nothing romantic between the two of them, and both of their actions seemed to confirm that most of the time, there were times like this one, when Phoenix felt thrown off, like she couldn’t figure out what everyone’s role was in this great play they were all acting in.

Then, he’d stopped rubbing, and just as she was about to withdraw her hand, he’d pressed down with his thumb, indicating she was to keep it there.  She thought he’d start with another round of balm, which smelled slightly minty, but felt soothingly cool on her hot skin.

She was silent for a while, as she tried to think of a reply, staring at their hands and realized she had no place from which to search for one.  What was happening now was like when she died the first time, there was no background for it, nothing to draw experience from.

So she drew from the only other place she knew.

“I’m not trying to take your woman away from you, Splinter,” she said gently, leaving her hand where it was, though she finally raised her eyes to look in his face.

Ideally a ninja should be prepared for every possibility, a master doubly so, nothing should surprise him. Yet, surprised, was an understatement of the circumstance Splinter found himself in. Shocked still would be a more appropriate description.

He found himself unable to process what the Phoenix had said, even after playing it over several times in his head. His tongue felt thick when he began to thaw from his frozen state.

“She… I… I'm not… I mean she's not...” He sounded like a fool and the agitation he felt towards himself worked to snap him from his befuddled state. He withdrew his hands from her and cleared his throat, taking a moment to sort out what he wanted to say. Actually he didn't WANT to say anything but apparently clarification was in order.

“I believe you are under a false impression Phoenix.” Her eyes looked into his and he had to fight the urge to look away from their intensity. At a loss to express his own thoughts, he recalled the words that the ferret had said in the hall. “Elizabeth has made it very clear that she is not mine, or anybody else's for that matter.”

“You act like she's your woman.” the little healer challenged. “Like she belongs here.”

“She does belong here!” Splinter pushed away from the table, unable to remain still while his thoughts were in such turmoil. “They are our responsibility, but it is more than that. Elizabeth has brought a new kind of life to our home, a comforting atmosphere that we have not had before. And Gwynevere,” Splinter stilled, a smile softening his features. “she takes the space her mother has created and fills it with joy.”

He looked at the Phoenix, his mood sobering. “You say you don't intend to take them away, but you cannot know if tragedy will come for them while in your care. It is…” he swallowed, his throat feeling thick with emotion. “hard for me to think of losing them, to you or to fate.” he sighed, “But it seems that I have no more say in the matter.”

Splinter felt defeated and wrung out, unused to letting his emotions be seen like this. He was ashamed of his outburst and wanted to crawl away to the comfort of his darkened room and meditate. However, there was one more point to clarify.

“Phoenix, if you believe that I have taken any ‘liberties’ with Mrs. VonHertz or abused my position as her protector, then you are sorely mistaken.” He leveled her with a gaze full of remorse, trying not to let visions he had received from the Rat King overwhelm him. “I have no woman.”

The woman who still sat the table was silent for a long time, her big green eyes still looking at him intently.  She had taken her hand, the one he’d been holding, and massaged it with her other one, the look on her face was something akin to chagrin.  The anger he felt at himself slowly began to inch toward her, pity as the last thing he needed or wanted.  But then her visage smoothed out, and she pushed her chair out from under her and stood up.

“I didn’t mean to imply that you had abused Eliza in any way, Splinter,” she said carefully.  Her cheeks slowly began to turn pink, and she finally looked away from him.  “And I would imagine it would be very difficult indeed to ‘abuse’ Mrs. VonHertz.”  She chuckled, shaking her head.

She came around the table, and he thought for a moment she was going to approach him, but she didn’t.  “Listen,” she took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

What deal was she going to try and make, he thought, because her body language certainly indicated that was the direction she was headed.  But again, he was surprised, so that his breath was almost taken from.

“I know you don’t like me,” she said quickly. Before he could interject, she went on, “I don’t know if I’d like you very much if our positions were reversed.  I, feel strongly about my people, and you obviously do too.  But, you aren’t going to lose Eliza and Gwyn to me,” she assured, her pale brows drawing upward, her mouth soft.  “The entire reason they’re leaving is to build them a larger space in your home, remember?”

First he was a controlling curmudgeon, and now he didn’t like her.  Did he really act so unpleasant when she was around?  Did he dislike her?  You want her, the Rat King’s voice echoed in his head again, so that his throat constricted.  No, it was his own thoughts, a memory, not The Rat King himself.  Could one want someone and dislike them at the same time?

He didn’t dislike her, he decided, but a much more troubling thought settled in on him.  She frightened him.  Her very presence in his life unsettled all kinds of things--the comfortable relationship he’d developed with Elizabeth, Gwyn’s attentions.  His boys’ world now stretched even farther than it did before her arrival, for she seemed to have connections with more mutants than they had thought existed.  It had been a very long time since he had had an outburst like the one only a few minutes before, or since he had been so taken aback that he was at a loss for words.  She upset his control.

And he did not like that.

“Yes,” he answered her question with a small nod, placing his hands behind his back.  

“You’re welcome to come to The Haunted Warehouse whenever you want to,” she said, making her way to the kitchen entrance.  “It isn’t really haunted.”  She gave him a soft, conciliatory smile.

“Thank you,” he replied, not sure how else to respond.

She nodded, then turned to leave.  Just as she reached the exit, she turned back, her smile much more mischievous.  “And if you want a woman, Splinter, I can hook you up with one.”  She looked him up and down appreciatively, so that he took a step back.  “I can think of quite a few women who would jump at the chance to put their arms around a man like you.”

She laughed, a girlish giggle, like the kind she had given on the dance floor at the party, and then disappeared from the kitchen.

“Do I have to bring my keyboard?”

“Yes Gwynevere, you are not getting out of practice for two weeks.”

“Awww.” Gwyn whined without too much heat, she knew it was long shot, but brightened again. “Do I have bring my math?”

Her mother paused in her folding and looked at her with a raised eye ridge before letting out a deep sigh. “Okay, how about we make a deal.”

Gwyn nodded her head eagerly, she'd agree to almost anything if it meant a break from schoolwork.

“You don't have to do any worksheets,”

“Yes!!” Gwyn wiggled happily from her spot on the floor where she was packing her suitcase.

“But!” Her mom qualified, holding up a finger. “You have to do two projects. One book report and one art or craft project.”

Gwyn thought for a moment before agreeing. “That doesn't sound too bad. But why?”

The ferret smiled and went back to folding. “This is an opportunity to spend time with the Phoenix’s kids, and I'm sure that they could teach you different things than the boys have. I know that Medusa likes to read and Acros and Aries are both very talented. Besides, if you have an assignment to do together, they might not mind having a little kid on their tails for two weeks.”

Gwyn rolled her eyes and laughed. “Do you always have to have a plan? Medusa and the guys like me just fine.” Gwyn rocked her head like a bobblehead doll. “In case you've forgotten, I'm adorable.”

Her mom laughed and stood to finish zippering her suitcase closed, tucking in stray fabric as she went. “That may be, but they've only had you in small doses till now. It's always good to have a game plan for these types of things.”

“Pfft.” Gwyn thought her mom was being silly. “You try too hard. This is gonna be fun!”

“Maybe,” the ferret said tilting her head to the side and scrunching her muzzle. “We’ll see. Are you done?”

“Almost.” The girl turned back to her packing. “Do I still get to go to the play with April and Casey’s sister?” She'd been promised a night on Broadway for her birthday since going home and seeing her friends wasn't an option anymore.

“Yes, being away from the lair shouldn't interfere with that at all. Make sure you pack something nice, maybe that purple dress?”

Gwyn went back to the dresser and picked out a few more items. April had taken her clothes shopping a couple times, mostly because Gwyn was hitting a growth spurt and desperately needed some new undergarments. As a result she had more to choose from then she had come to New York with, but not much. “That should do it.” She said with satisfaction as she closed her luggage.

“Good. Now go find someone to help you load the Shellraiser while I finish up.” Her mother turned her around and gave her a pat out the door, suitcase in tow.

Gwyn took off without a backwards glance, but waved to the Phoenix as she passed her in the hall, not bothering to stop and chat. As she entered the main space she saw Splinter leaving the kitchen and flagged him down. “Ojisan!!” She called happily as she dragged her bag behind her.

“Gwynevere.” The rat smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, in fact he looked kind of sad. Gwyn had overheard the adults arguing earlier and knew he wasn't happy about them leaving. “Ready to go so soon I see.”

“Yeah,” Gwyn twisted her sneaker against the concrete, her excitement dulled. “Mamma says we're going to take the Shellraiser, easier than walking across town with our stuff.”

“A prudent decision.” He said evenly. “I shall inform my sons to be prepared to escort you.” The rat turned away but Gwyn called him back.

“Ojisan.” It was Japanese for ‘Uncle’ a term that they had agreed would be okay for the babies to call him, so Gwyn decided she would call him that too. He seemed to like it. “Are you going to miss us?”

Splinter dropped to one knee so that they were eye to eye and put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Very much.” He said softly. “But you will only be gone for a short time, like a vacation. I will be here to welcome you when you return home.”

“Okay. It’s a deal.”

Splinter nodded. “A promise.”

Gwyn smiled and gave him a fierce hug and she swore that he hugged her back twice as hard as he normally did. She didn't think it was a good idea to remind him that the last vacation she and her mom had left for they still hadn't returned home from.

[zutaraverse]

Chapter 5: Stoking the Embers of a Secret

Chapter 5 of Blood, Chi and Full Moons. Find previous chapters here or: Chapter 1 Part 1 | Chapter 1 Part 2 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 Part 1 | Chapter 3 Part 2 | Chapter 4

Guys disclaimer: From here on in this is for MATURE audiences only.. In both good and bad ways. Like R rated ok. Trigger warnings for torture, rape, murder, swearing, sex. 

Zuko and Katara settled into an easy routine. From their time on the run (ironically, from one another), they knew how to keep their heads low. Zuko had barrels of water placed in the covered arena and they would train every morning after meditation. The Palace thought they were simply sparring, but as nobody knew who was bending the water and who the fire, they were safe. They had taken to meditating just before dawn, when the moon was still in the sky, so that they could connect with both the moon and sun spirits. It felt exhilarating to be learning something new. He didn’t even begrudge all the stately duties he had to attend to because he always knew that he needed to last a few more hours before dinner with Katara, meditation with Katara and training with Katara.

However, peace was not something that had ever favoured either of the teenagers.

Katara became increasingly frustrated with the heat from fire bending and decided to take a leaf out of Zuko’s book and find some training clothes that kept her cool. She shopped in the capitol - trying hard to ignore the hostile glares - and found baggy training trousers made of a light material and a short top in a matching red. It reminded her of the outfit she wore when she was in the fire nation with Aang and Sokka. Boy, that was a long time ago!

The evident mistrust from the shop owner meant that she didn’t even try the outfit on before buying it and retreating quickly to the Palace. To be honest, she was bored when Zuko wasn’t around. She had spent so long being still and researching that she loved the fact that she was being active again. But she needed to exercise her mind too! She decided that the next morning at training she would ask Zuko if she could sit in on some of the meetings.

They met, as usual, in the pre-dawn darkness, the moon dipping towards the horizon. Sitting by the pond they submerged themselves in their meditation. It became easier and easier for both of them to access parts of both elements. And sometimes… sometimes they wouldn’t feel different at all. Perhaps it was the garden; the plants needed both water and heat to thrive and as their senses became more in tune with the world, they felt how one flowed into the other and how they worked together. Heat was behaving like water sometimes, seeping slowly into every nook and cranny the world had to offer; likewise, water sometimes behaved like fire, rising up and reaching for the sky within the trees, and cutting paths though the undergrowth until nothing stood in its way.

That day in training, they started trying to combine fire and water bending moves; using moves originally created for one with the other. Iroh had been the main inspiration with his redirecting lightening inspired by the Water Tribes. However, it was only an idle idea until their meditations pulled them closer to it. Katara remembered something that Aang had told her about his lessons with Guru Pathik; separation is an illusion. Fire and water were two sides of the same thing - although what that thing was confused her. Life force, maybe?

As Katara tried to master another fire bending move - both with fire and with water - her hair whipped around her in a flurry, blocking her sight and causing her to trip, rather unceremoniously. Zuko rushed over to see if she was alright. To his relief, she started laughing. He looked down at her and realised something was not right.

The bottom of the short top Katara was wearing (and that Zuko was finding far too distracting for his own good) had risen up slightly as she skidded across the floor, and now rested, bunched up, just below her breasts. But in doing so, they revealed some marks on her otherwise smooth skin. Zuko knew exactly what kind of marks they were; they were burns. Burns that had been untreated.

His head started spinning with possibilities. They looked to new to have been from the war, and she didn’t suffer any injuries during the year they had spent travelling together. It must have happened in these last two years, but Zuko would guess less than six months ago. Which meant that she was already a prolific bloodbender and healer - so why couldn’t she heal her own wounds?

“Katara? Who gave you those burns?” he asked, tearing his eyes away from her body to look into her eyes.

Her face sobered. Her laughing cut short as she looked down at herself. Quickly, she stood up, pulling down the top so that it covered the scars again.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Her voice was even and that insufferable mask was back on her face. Zuko wondered if this was anything like what Iroh went through with him all those years ago. He decided that he had probably been worse.

However, he would figure out what was making her like this, and who had hurt her. As they continued, his bending was far more violent, while hers was subdued; he was angry and frustrated, she was suppressing her emotions. Neither ended the session well.

As the left the arena, Zuko made a split second decision.

“Hey Katara, could I ask you a favour?”

“Sure,” she replied, still in her deadpan voice.

“Well I have a bunch of people arriving tomorrow - they will be here only a couple of days to discuss trade options and military placement so as to not intervene with it. Since you have been travelling for so long I was wondering if you could come to the meetings and give your opinion? I feel like I’m only ever hearing half of how the people are faring. And… well… I value your judgement.”

Katara raised her eyebrows and her mask disintegrated into surprise. Hadn’t she wanted to ask him the very same thing? Could he read her mind?

“Yeah, I’d like that. But first I need to know what the trade agreements are…”

Zuko looked relieved to have captured her attention.

“I have to sort out some stuff but if you like I could go over it with you over dinner? I’ll be in the study.” She noticed he looked apprehensive while he waited for her response. She nodded and smiled, even though the smile did not reach her eyes. The set off in different directions, lost in their own thoughts.

Lin hadn’t even been surprised when Katara appeared once again at the kitchens to ask for her and Zuko’s dinner. This time she didn’t protest and handed Katara the laden tray, watching her walk away balancing everything with practiced ease. Lin shook her head to herself, unsure of what to make of the girl and of her proximity to the future Fire Lord.

Katara startled Zuko when she knocked and entered the study. He hadn’t realised how late it was already getting! But he was reading the same document for the third time and a break was more than needed.

They ate as he explained some of the background, and then Katara moved to sit next to him in order to read through some things.

“So… the military want to be present when all trade with the Water Tribes is done?” she asked, completely absorbed in the latest intelligence report.

“Pretty much. They don’t trust the Water Tribes at all. They think that they’ll try to import weapons and stow people away on the ships to then overthrow the Fire Nation.” He covered his face with his hands and sighed.

“Look, Zuko, I am not a huge fan of the Water Tribes,” she started and he looked at her in shock. “Oh, don’t look at me like that! Yes they are my people and I love them and care about them, but they are so stupidly set in their ways… I’m not in a good place with them right now. Actually, come to think about it, I dislike all the nations. The Water Tribes are holding on to their senseless traditions because they think that it is the traditions that makes them what they are. Which is bullshit by the way. Those traditions were created for different times, and their refusal to let them change, in order to ‘assert their tribe after the war’ is stifling the younger generations.

“As for the Earth Kingdom - there are so many people that it is difficult to keep track of who wants what and when! There are brutal mentalities like that of the Dai Li, and the old aristocratic families like the Bei Fongs are still in charge of everything. Since the Fire Nation pulled out, people have been grabbing power as much as they can. And King Kuei is a rubbish ruler who is almost inconsequential to the general population. Thank spirits Bumi knows what he is doing! Omashu and the areas around there are actually doing pretty well.

“The Air Nomads - even if they were still alive - do not involve themselves in politics, and trade with whoever offers it. The literally float on the currents the rest of the Nations are creating. What Aang is building is no different, but travelling is more of a challenge now than it used to be - people are less trustworthy and less inclined to help. So basically the air temples will be places of almost-seclusion soon.

“The Fire Nation is still ridden with power hungry monsters from families who believed in the war. They have not stopped believing, and are objectively making trade difficult for anybody external to the Fire Nation since they believe that all those resources should be theirs anyway.

“The only places that work - that really work - are the colonies. There, although there is some animosity between those who had been Fire Generals and locals, they have been living together for years. Things are levelling out in the places that have been allowed to elect their own representatives, and to be honest, you need one Fire and one Earth per colony. However, there have been mixes - and mixes of mixes - to the point that some people can neither identify with one nor the other. They call themselves Islanders.

“Having the military stationed wherever there is trade is only going to hark back to times of war. If you are truly worried about what is going in and out of the borders we need to find another way to keep control. It would be imprudent to trust any one group - and that includes the Fire Nation. You should post checks at the major docks - charge a small fee per cargo or something to pay the people who will be doing the work. They can check all items being shipped to and fro and for what price. If anything strange happens, you will be the first to know and take action preventing any harm done to any nation.

“They cannot be military though. I know that the military is marginally less inclined to bribery, but as I said, the reappearance of soldiers will only create idols for forces trying to reignite the war, or targets for those who hated it. I would suggest getting local people to do the checks - people who are trusted by their communities and who care about the place. They will be the ones who are least likely to accept bribery since it is consequential to them what happens to their home. Obviously you’d need to choose wisely, pick the peaceful ones or the ones that would be most grateful for the job.”

As Katara spoke, she was collecting various papers to back up her claims from around the desk, occasionally leaning over Zuko in a very distracting way.

“You’re right. I’ve been looking at this in completely the wrong way; I’ve still been considering ‘us’ and ‘them’. But the Fire Nation is setting an example for the rest of the world because of the chaos we have caused so far. We need to consider trust and danger from all directions, ready to give a chance but intervene when things go wrong.” Zuko sat back on his chair, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion.

Katara looked at him and smiled proudly. He knew that smile. Helping people had always made her happy - he remembered how she had stepped up to mother the group when there was nobody else. And now she was doing it again, although not in the same way. She was helping him again.

Their eyes met. He felt a tingle run down his spine. He hadn’t felt this before with Katara - it seemed almost too intense. Suddenly he noticed things about he that he had never dwelled on before; how plump her lips were, how her her long eyelashes framed her eyes, how, even though her skin was dark, she still had a light smattering of freckles on her cheeks. He wanted to reach out and touch her lips, caress her face and her neck and…

Katara started moving closer, drawn in by a strange electricity that was held in his amber eyes. They seemed to be smouldering and unconsciously glancing down at her lips. She shouldn’t be doing this, but maybe, just maybe, this time things would turn out alright. She saw the shock in his gaze ask she moved closer, and then his eyes softened and closed as their lips met.

It was as if his whole being had turned into warm water. This was not like the kiss she had hurriedly pressed to his lips before leaving last time; this was charged with some deep desire, and he felt like he was falling. His heart started racing and he instinctually deepened the kiss. He felt another thrill as she readily responded, opening her mouth against his.

Zuko reached up a hand and caressed her soft cheek before gently holding the back of her head, enjoying the feel of her hair through his fingers.

Katara froze against his lips. He blinked his eyes open in surprise as she disentangled his hand from her hair and moved away. She looked… frightened? Maybe? But the mask descended on her features once more.

“It is getting late. Good night,” she said, monotonously and left the room without another word.

Zuko was bewildered. Did he scare her? No, but she kissed him! He wasn’t even going to do anything, but she was the one who initiated things!

Zuko sat up for a long time trying to make sense of what had just happened, his brain fuzzy from lack of sleep. Perhaps she wanted to kiss somebody else and got carried away and remembered that she was kissing him. Could she have met somebody important on her travels? Possibly. But she hadn’t mentioned anybody so far…

Maybe she still felt bad about rejecting Aang and thought it would be betrayal if something happened between the two of them? But that was ridiculous! That was over two years ago! And besides, he hadn’t forgotten the kiss they shared before she left.

She could have actually been betrothed when she was at the Northern Water Tribe. No. She would never allow that - and besides she still wore her mother’s necklace, not her own.

He reasoned that it must be somebody else after all. The last thing he remembered was thinking how strange it was that the thought of her with somebody else hurt him.

The advisors arrived the next evening. They had decided not to train and instead prepare some more.

Conversation was awkward between Zuko and Katara. It was prim and professional, neither one mentioning the kiss. Katara did not let her indifference mask slide once. Zuko was torn between interrogating her about what was going on and trying to keep things calm. He decided that they would talk once these meetings were over.

First, though, they had to get through a welcome dinner held in their honour. Zuko was always amused when outsiders stayed at the Palace. Suddenly, servants that he could hold casual conversations with normally, became stiff and formal - instead of one course eaten in his study, he had to sit through countless dishes and make pointless small talk with people who he really cared nothing for. Occasionally somebody really interesting would turn up, but by the nature of these things you could never talk to one person too long.

Zuko descended to the reception chamber in all his royal finery, the crown Prince’s flame around his topknot. Again. He longed to be in his training gear, but, obviously, that was not polite. He wondered idly if when he became Fire Lord he could do away with all the pointlessness of these formalities.

Katara followed soon after, and it was all he could do not to gape at her. She wore a light blue dress made of silk that billowed out around her as she walked. But the sash around her waist was purple, and so were the trimmings around her neck and sleeves. As always, her mother’s necklace was present, but her hair was tied in a Fire Nation style with purple ribbon. The material flowed around her, falling from her waist and accentuating her curves.

Now how was he supposed to pay attention to some boring advisors?

He tore his eyes away from her, trying to hide a blush, as he nodded to the porters to open the doors and let the guests arrive to be greeted.

People started to filter in - a small party, only about ten, and since they were staying for so short a time none of them had brought their families. Zuko skimmed over their faces as they took in the grand reception hall around them in wonder. He knew it would be about minute before any of them noticed him.

He heard a gasp from behind him, where Katara was standing. He turned around to look at her and reached out in alarm when he saw how pale her face was.

“Katara?” he asked, tentatively, as she stepped away from him.

“I don’t feel well. I’m going to my room,” she whispered, retreating quickly into the shadows and running away. Zuko stood, shocked and bewildered by her disappearance, and had just decided to follow her when the first of the guests came up to him to introduce themselves.

As soon as Zuko could, he ordered a maid to go and see if Master Katara was alright and if she needed anything. By the end of dinner, Zuko realised that he did not know one name of the people who were constantly talking at him, he was too busy thinking about Katara. Instead of staying for after dinner drinks, he excused himself and half walked- half ran to Katara’s room.

“Katara?” he called when he received no answer to his frantic knocks. “Katara its me, Zuko! I’m worried about you… will you let me in?” Still there was no answer. He rested his forehead against the doors and said, more quietly “Please Katara. I know you’re hurting but I don’t know why and I want to help…” He was about to leave when he heard something heavy being moved on the other side of the doors and one pulled open just enough so he could slip through. She shut it immediately behind him and moved whatever was in front of the door back there, blocking anybody’s entry. As his eyes accustomed to the darkness, he realised that it was the dressing table!

He frowned and produced a flame in order to see her. Katara screamed, a horrible, high pitched squeak and he felt water pelting him from all sides, dousing the flame. Zuko froze.

“No. Fire.” She said, breathless.

“K-katara? You’re scaring me…” he stammered into the darkness. His eyes were adjusting again and he could make out her form sitting on the large bed. Her hair was dishevelled and her face was shining. No, wait, her face was wet! He moved closer to her, and in the dim moonlight that crept through the cracks in the curtains, he saw that she had been crying - her makeup smudged down her cheeks, and she was still trembling. He reached out to hug her or comfort her but his hand froze.

With a jolt he realised she was bloodbending him in place.

“Zuko, please, don’t touch me.” She said quietly, releasing her hold on his arm.

“Katara… I… I don’t know what to say! I don’t know what’s wrong and I don’t know how to comfort you… Please tell me what I can do?” There was a moment of silence, where he stood in front of the bed, not touching her.

“You can go back to bed and forget any of this happened,” she replied hanging her head and trying to smother a sob.

“That is not an option. I can’t leave you when you are in this state.” She looked up at him then, her big blue eyes filled with tears that she let fall as she stared.

“Thank you, Zuko. Thank you so,” she sobbed “so much. Please don’t leave. Please stay here… I’m so s-s-cared!” she cried.

Zuko felt helpless. For the first time in his life he felt completely helpless. He had always had a plan - whether it was capturing the Avatar or defeating his father, he was always doing something, there was always something he could do. But here he was, watching as his best friend in the entire world came apart before his eyes, and there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t hold her, he couldn’t solve the problem, he couldn’t tell her it was going to be alright. He was just there.

He took a deep breath.

“Katara, please tell me what happened? I’m the the Fire Prince. I must be able to do something,” he said through his gritted teeth and clenched jaw, tears of frustration welling in in his own eyes.

She observed him again and shook harder than she had been, but after about a minute, she groaned.

“I will tell you everything, as long as you promise two things,” she whispered.

“Anything! Katara anything, just name it!”

“Do not interrupt me while I’m telling the story and please stay here tonight. I don’t think I can be alone.”

“Deal.”