#like yeah she does seem like a very sophisticated young girl who takes things seriously…so why tf would she give her all to you

[burnedhoney]

How am I supposed to just watch Audition (1999) and just move one with my life

[loopy777]

What are some of the worst Star Wars novels you've ever read? Surely there must be quite a few badly written ones out there you've had the misfortune of reading.

Most Star Wars novels are, honestly, just merely okay. I’m thinking of the core of the Bantam run, during the 90′s, when Luke, Leia, and Han were saving the galaxy from some random Imperial warlord weilding a random superweapon. I wouldn’t say those stories ever descended into being formulaic, but they were like episodes of a TV show, with the broad strokes always being pretty much the same, but for some reason expanded into an entire novel- or worse, a trilogy of novels. I think the worst of the lot is probably “The Black Fleet Crisis,” with its three unrelated plots. I always enjoyed it much more when we got stories about other characters, with smaller stakes, because those had the freedom to do interesting things.

Ironically, the worst Star Wars books are the ones that tried to shake this formula up. I’m talking, of course, about the ‘New Jedi Order’ series and its sequels.

But that includes a whopping 37 novels. Which ones are the standout worsts?

Well, the one I absolutely loathe the most is Fate of the Jedi: Apocalypse, by Troy Denning.

It’s excessively violent, both in terms of the shear amount of violence and fighting in the book, as well as descriptiveness. We get vivid descriptions of disembowelings. We also get half the book devoted to the Jedi characters fighting their way up the Jedi Temple against hordes of nameless Sith mooks, to the point where it seemed like a transcription of a storyless video game. Worst of all, the Jedi glorify in the violence and death. There’s not even a false note of regret. Instead, we have Jaina Solo gleefully making a joke about how her sabotage of a high-speed transport tube means that the Sith attempting to use are going to become a “goo fountain.” There’s also the casual deaths of billions, perhaps trillions of people when Coruscant is devastated by some kind of volcanic disaster, but no one reacts much to that. It’s just numbing, and robs it all of any sense of victory. This is the book I think of when I say that Legends had Luke Skywalker turning the Jedi into a new Sith Order, founded on death and rivalry.

What little plot the book has railroads the characters to conclusions of subplots and storyarcs that don’t have any sense of fulfillment. One character is a girl raised in a Sith culture who decides that, in a gag-worthy storyline that ties her change of heart to a forced romance with Luke’s son Ben Skywalker, she’d rather be a Jedi instead of a Sith because it comes with people not trying to kill you all the time. I’ll ignore what happened in the previous novels, because this one does, too. In this book, she still wants to be a Jedi but has started to resign herself to the fact that might just be too evil. Instead of really making a choice, she actually winds up in a situation where she just pretends to rejoin the Sith, but then the good guys catch her doing that, assume she’s really evil, and try to kill her. That’s it, she figures she can never go back, and devotes herself to accumulating power and killing whoever stands in her way. It’s so weird and decoupled from the character herself, almost an anti-climax to the previous 7 books of focus on her. Never mind how un-StarWarsy it is, but Denning has said that was the point.

I guess it’s reflective of the greater theme of the book, which Luke Skywalker sums up at the end in plain words at the end: the galaxy and the Force are meant to be embroiled in never-ending conflict, and the Force is only in balance when there are both Jedi and Sith to make eternal war on each other.

And that’s when I quit reading books in that continuity about Luke Skywalker. I have never read the novel Crucible, also written by Troy Denning and set after Apocalypse, nor will I ever. I’m still confident, though, that even with Disney’s sequel trilogy having ended on a soulless, stupid note, it’s still better than how the Fate of the Jedi series ended.

So, that was a good rant. XD

What other books really stand out to me?

Well, I think the book that starts off the New Jedi Order, Vector Prime by R A Salvatore, is very weak and sabotages everything that comes after. It has a meandering plot that tries to introduce new readers to the continuity-heavy setting while also flubbing every single continuity reference it makes. That’s quite a feat. It also has a lot of heavy-handed commentary, both in the themes and actual character dialogue, about how everything is NEW and DIFFERENT and DANGEROUS and THERE ARE NO ‘CHARACTER SHIELDS’ ANYMORE SO ANYONE CAN DIE. Chewbacca dies in this book, and it’s an obvious stunt, but only one other major characters dies in the whole 23-book series, and it’s not one of the sacred movie characters, so the Character Shields still wound up in place. And I still think the Vong aliens are dumb, teenage-edgelord garbage in their evil pain-worship, combined with implausible biotech. Even in the Star Wars setting, I have trouble imagining organic spaceships that can generate black holes as casual pinpoint-defense shields. Like, if they can do that, why are they shooting lava-balls like lasers? Never mind the snake-whips their warriors wield that can harden at will to the point where they can deflect lightsaber blades. It’s all so dumb, but taken so seriously! Actually, that’s a good descriptor of the NJO series as a whole. There are some decent books in there, but they’re still saddled with this dumb context.

I think I also kind of hate Legacy of the Jedi: Sacrifice, by Karen Traviss. It’s a fairly boring book that, like most of Traviss’s stuff (I think she wrote 2.5 good books, overall, out of 9), feigns sophistication by focusing on sad mercenaries hanging out on farms while failing to say anything more interesting than, “Finding something to live and fight for is good.” It has a dumb subplot where Jacen Solo, son of Han and Leia (and Kylo Ren’s more boring AU counterpart), takes over the Republic by getting a lawyer droid to sneak a loophole into a security bill that lets him declare himself king of the galaxy. Seriously. So much for Palpatine’s decades-spanning manipulations! And the books ends with a railroading of Mara Jade so that she can die to raise the stakes in the story (and so that her male family members, Luke and Ben, can be sad and angry for the rest of the series). It gets even weirder with how it’s juxtapositioned with Boba Fett recovering his eternally young hot ex-wife (established in a comic that wasn’t even in continuity before that) as a reward for realizing that family probably matters a little. You can see where the claims might come from that Traviss favors the clone-related characters a little too much.

So yeah, those are the three books that really make me cringe when I remember them.

[pretty-well-funded]

monalisa72 replied to your post “is this thing on?”

Newbie rentboy Peter who keeps getting saved from abusive johns by Iron Man who eventually becomes his sugar daddy to keep him off the streets

@monalisa72 well, this is literally the opposite of what you asked for, but hopefully you like it anyway? lol

*

In Tony’s defense, he was sure the kid was a rent boy.  

Now, normally Tony doesn’t brake for street crime - there are others without highly advanced terrorism- and alien-fighting prostheses to handle that kind of thing.  The blind lawyer, the bulletproof bar owner, that PI in desperate need of antidepressants.  The guy in the onesie.

Still, if he’s in the right place at the right time, he’s not exactly going to fly away and leave someone to get hurt.

He’s on his way back from a rather lightweight peacekeeping mission when FRIDAY alerts him to a probable minor being choked below.  As soon as Tony gets close, he sees she may have misinterpreted the data - her algorithms for human behavior aren’t as sophisticated as JARVIS’s were, though she’ll get there in time - but when he asks her to estimate the kid’s age, FRI says 17.  And well, her physical assessment algorithms are just fine.

It turns out landing in an Iron Man suit ten feet away is enough intervention in itself to scare off rough johns of underage prostitutes, because Tony hasn’t even engaged his speakers before the guy’s tripping on his pants and running.  The kid wipes his mouth with wide eyes and scrambles to his feet.

“Uh, wow.  Hi.”

“Look, kid, everybody’s got to make a living, blah blah blah, sex positivity, wrap it before they tap it and try not to end up in a dumpster, capiche?”

The kid opens his mouth, frowning, but this was already a waste of time and Tony is exhausted.  He’s engaging his thrusters before the kid can speak

*

The second time, he’s just enjoying a little evening joyride, because he does what he wants, when FRI says, “Boss, someone is crying for help three blocks south.  I think he’s being assaulted.”

So, of fucking course, Tony goes.

This time it’s unclear it’s a false alarm until Tony has landed right behind the purported bad guy and yanked him away from the guy he’s got pinned to the bricks.  Said victim turns his head, and Tony groans.  “You again.”

“You should talk.  You’re turning into a serious cockblock, Mr. Stark.”

Tony turns to the guy he’s dangling a couple inches off the ground.  “Listen, pal, some solid advice: stop hiring hookers.  Or at the very least, card them first, huh?”

The guy nods agreeably, and when Tony lets him go, he only pauses to give the kid one miffed look before skedaddling away.

Once he’s gone, Tony lets the helmet retract so he can look at the kid directly.  “Didn’t we have a conversation about dumpsters?”

“There’s a little thing called ‘roleplay,’ Mr. Stark.  They may not have invented it yet in your day, but - “

Tony will not laugh.  Obviously the kid’s fine.  He puts the top up and takes off.

*

After that...well, okay, after that, Tony’s curious.  So he might have FRIDAY monitor for any signs of the kid’s activity in his neighborhood - the two incidents he saw were only blocks apart in Queens, stands to reason that’s his stomping grounds.

The boy’s not on the streets as often as he’d have assumed - probably not a street kid, then, whose only source of income is hooking.  Maybe an in-case-of-emergency-need deal.  Still, it’s weird then that he deals in mostly rough trade - every time FRI alerts him, the kid is getting choked or smacked, etcetera.  

He doesn’t usually intervene.  Either the kid is a hell of an actor or he’s usually pretty into it, which maybe explains who he caters to, even if he’s part time.

There does come a time, though, when the Baby Monitor goes off and Tony quickly realizes that the kid is in over his head.  He’s bruised to hell, for one, and Tony’s suiting up as soon as he sees the hand wrapped around the kid’s throat, which is squeezing.  Tony unfortunately knows what being manually strangled to death sounds like, and this is it.

It takes two minutes and fifteen seconds, which feels way too fucking long but when he arrives, the kid’s brain function is still intact.  Apparently this is less of a first degree murder situation and more of manslaughter-waiting-to-happen.  

Maybe not even that, because the kid easily shoves the other guy aside, and yells, “Okay, seriously, are you stalking me now? This can’t be a coincidence.”

Well, he wasn’t admitting that.  “No, dear.  It just seemed like a lovely night for breathplay, so naturally I assumed you’d be out and about.”

The other guy backs away slowly then flees, and the kid makes an exasperated noise, pointing after him.  “Is your new mission to give me blue balls?  Is that the actual best use of your vast resources?”

“My resources are vast enough to account for pet projects, yeah.”

“So you are watching me.”

“Hey look, Mysterious Skin, a death wish is overrated, trust me.  When it gets down to the wire, you’ll regret that you let it get that far.  Been there.”

The kid squints and clucks his tongue.  “Okay, I’m going to tell you a secret that you can’t share, but first you’re climbing out of that thing because my neck hurts.”

What the hell, Tony’s at least 30% intrigued. He’s done more for less.  The kid’s eyes widen a little when he sees what Tony’s wearing beneath the suit, which is to say a filthy tank top, a lot of engine grease, and sweatpants.  Sometimes when he’s in the lab, he skips underwear, sue him.

Tony lets the little moment of lust pass (he’s used to it), and then prompts.  “Do I have to pinky swear, or what?”

The kid eyes the suit.  “Your friend can tell there’s no one nearby, right?”

“The perimeter is clear. No witnesses with line of sight into the alley,” FRIDAY says through the speaker.  

“Thanks,” the kid says, and then just casually lifts a whole-ass dumpster over his head.

Tony’s jaw drops.

The kid sets the dumpster carefully down.  “See?  I’m fine. and if Mrs. Suit has the medical scanning capabilities that I know that she does, she can tell you my black eye is healing really fast.”

“It’s true, Boss, and quite remarkable,” Baby Girl chirps.

“Thanks, Mrs. Suit Lady,” the kid beams. 

“It’s FRIDAY.”

“Okay, everybody shut up,” Tony manages.  Mercifully, they do.  “First of all, what’s your name.”

The kid’s jaw clenches, and then he allows, “Peter.”

“Peter.  You’re the kid in the onesie.”

This abashed, the kid isn’t a superhero or a sex worker, he’s just a kid.  “I’m Spider-Man,” he corrects.

“Yeah, not until we upgrade you.  But that’s not relevant now.  You’re not homeless, right?”

“What? No!  I live with my Aunt.”

“Does she know that you hook on the side?”

“Yeah, see, I don’t know where you got this idea.  It’s actually kind of not cool of you, sir.  I just like sex. With men.”

Tony blinks.  Yeah, the kid never admitted he was hooking.  “In my defense, you have rough sex in an awful lot of alleys.”

Peter tucks his arms across his chest, defensive.  “It’s what I like!  And also, hello, I live with my aunt!”

“So you don’t need money.”

“We’re not you, but we do okay.”

“How old are you?”

Peter’s chin goes up a notch.  Stubborn, Tony likes it.  “Legal.”

Tony rolls his eyes.  “Not why I’m asking.  Seventeen?”

“Sure, which is legal.”

“Not to join the Avengers, it’s not.”

Now the kid’s eyes are saucers.  “Are you shitting me?”

Tony’s mouth quirks.  “No, I’m not shitting you.  We can’t even consider it until you’re eighteen, and there’s a process of sorts, but I’ve seen some of your work.  You belong on the team.  Regardless, we should get you a better suit ASAP.”

The kid grins, an interesting mix of earnest with a little dash of wicked.  He steps closer and takes Tony’s tank top in both fists  “Mr. Stark, are you propositioning me?”

Tony’s been seduced by the best, but it’s cute.  “Proposing to give you better crime fighting equipment, maybe.” 

The little shit bats his lashes. “So, not a sugar daddy.  A superhero sugar daddy.”

Okay, Tony can’t not smile.  “If you like.  Better than my actual title of ‘hey you, something broke, come fix it.’”

“Aww. I would appreciate you, sir.”

Tony smirks.  “I’m sure you would.”

“Although, right now you kind of owe me.”  

“Is that right?”

“Mmhmmm.  By my count, at least three orgasms.  But they don’t have to be mine.”

Well, shit.  “Tell me more about this ‘role play’ that you spoke of.”

Peter’s eyes fucking twinkle before he plasters himself to Tony’s front and speaks extra-breathily into his ear.  “You mean like I’m the poor desperate rent boy, and you’re the tech mogul cum superhero who sweeps in and saves me from the bad men?”

Fuck, Tony’s doing this, isn’t he?  “Something like that.”

“And I’m so grateful and so needy, and I can’t survive without you, so you take me home like a stray kitten and pet me just right.”  Aaaand there’s an underage hand in Tony’s pants. And he doesn’t care.  “Except you’re not quite as noble as pretend to be, right, sir?  So when I beg you to hurt me just right, you do that, too.”

“FRIDAY, Sentry Mode, please.  Keep all personnel and surveillance the hell out of here.”

Peter looks so pleased with himself, and so criminally young, but luckily for Tony, not actually criminal.  “Are we starting here, sir?  Rough sex in another alley?”

“Well.  I do have some making up to do.”

Peter grins, and folds to his knees.

[adrienaline-rushed-art]

Piece of Cake

Rating: T

Words: 4,349

Genre: Fluff/Romance

Chapters: 1/2

Summary:  Already the second semester of University and Marinette STILL hasn't confessed to Adrien. But Valentine's Day is coming up and it's about time she did.

ao3 fanfic (seriously can someone tell me how to keep italics when pasting here?)

Marinette bit her lip. She was older now, more sophisticated. She’s known him for five years, there should be no trouble talking like a normal human being. In fact, she’d been doing pretty well the first semester. Normal conversations and a knowledge of exactly which jokes made him laugh had developed over time. Now that, if anything, was a fully equipped girl. So then why wouldn’t her heartbeat behave?

After multiple large gulps of water from the bottle in her purse, clutches at her sweater (or checking for loose threads and lint as she liked to call it), three attempts of unlocking her phone to absently rearrange the apps, and a fifth re-appliance of lipgloss, she still felt like she couldn't breathe. Of course, Alya grinning at her from across the table wasn’t helping either.

“Alya, please!” Marinette wanted to tug at her hair, but stopped when she remembered she’d mess up her low double buns.

Alya hummed, “So…”

Marinette went for another sip of water and whimpered at the empty container, deciding to allow a last tiny droplet trail its way to her tongue.

“Every year you make the same promise. It’s that time again… tomorrow is Valentines’ Day-”

“AAuuuuggh,” Marinette put her head on the table and knocked against it a few times.

“This had better be the year-”

“AAAaaah- bettybotterboughtsomebutterbutshesaidthe-”

“-You ask Adrien out. Mari, no matter how much your perfect recitation of a simple American tongue twister has impressed me in the past it’s not gonna help you now. I’m your best friend so I give you the real talk you need,” Alya paused to pet the hair of the strange brunette in front of her pretending to sob, “It’s time girl, you need to show him what he’s been missing. Oh, speak of the devil.”

What sounded like a hybrid between a gasp and a choking seagull escaped Marinette as she quickly sat up. Faking an adjustment to the back of her sweater, she stole a glance behind her. There he was, walking towards her and smiling as he looked her dead in the eye. Or at least it looked that way from the distance.

Alya leaned forward and whispered, “Just imagine, you telling him you love him tomorrow over a candlelit dinner. Wouldn’t you love to see his face all flushed?”

“Alya, that sounds like you’re talking about something entirely different,” Nino finally cut in, nudging his elbow into her side.

“Who says I didn’t mean it that way?” Alya winked.

Marinette laughed a little too loudly, “Ssstooopp,” But don’t stop.

Just the thought of the beautiful fantasy Alya had painted made Marinette’s eyes sparkle and her heart melt. Before anyone could stop her she had gone into full ‘heart-eyes mode’ and watched every step Adrien made through the crowded food court, failing to notice someone following him.

“Not again… of course she would tag along today. Chloe would never let Adrien walk alone when at any minute someone could ask him out,” Alya rolled her eyes.

Nino sighed, “Does she even attend this university?”

“No, of course not. She follows him because she has nothing better to do. Sabrina’s in uni as well, Chloe is apparently taking a gap year. God, what a handful she is.”

“I know, he is handsome~” Marinette propped her elbow on the table and rested her chin in her palm.

“Snap out of it, Shortcake, you’re gonna screw yourself again,” Nino chuckled.

“Nino! You know she hated when you gave her the ‘Strawberry Shortcake’ nickname!”

“I know, I thought I’d annoy her out of her dreamland,” Nino winced as Marinette swooned, “It didn’t work.”

“Hey, guys!” Adrien started to take his coat off as he glanced at the open seat next to Marinette.

Before he could take a step closer, Chloe pulled him over to the opposite side of the table, “You didn’t tell me the fashion disaster would be here.”

Adrien’s smile faded, “I didn’t need to, Chlo. Besides, you knew she went to this university.”

Chloe groaned, “Why do you even go to school with this same old group of idiots. What business do you have in an art school anyway? Aren’t you going to take over your father’s business?”

Marinette smiled and didn’t take her eyes off Adrien for a second, “I thought you were his best friend, Chlo, shouldn’t you know he’s double majoring in dance and drama?”

“Of course, I knew!” Chloe blushed, “I meant why would he go to this art school. It’s so… cheap.”

Alya laid her hand over her heart, “I know. Bless.”

Adrien pinched the bridge of his nose, “Look, if you’re going to be rude, you should go home. Besides, I’m sure you don’t want any of this ‘poor people food’.”

Nino smiled, “Mmm, man, I’m craving some pizza…”

“Ew, how can you live with yourself? Fine, I’m out of here.”

As she turned, Chloe heard Marinette giggle. Adrien was looking at her.

Chloe leaned on the table and glared at Marinette, snarling, “I loathe you, Marinette.”

Without missing a beat, and a still steady gaze into Adrien’s eyes, “I love you.”

Adrien’s eyes widened.

Marinette’s face dropped, “I said that out loud…”

“You said that out loud!” Alya squealed.

A strained squeak seemed to come from Adrien as his face became redder and redder.

Chloe growled and practically had steam blowing from her ears. Surprisingly, all she could do was storm away.

Nino came around the table and pushed a very dazed Adrien to his seat and gave him a pat on the shoulder, “Well, now that the formalities are out of the way. I guess we won’t be needing to convince you to go to a Valentines’ double date with us tomorrow?”

* * *

“Alright, I guess this is our stop,” Alya grabbed Marinette’s hand and started towards the dorm. She let Marinette continue and she stopped short, turning towards Nino, “Thanks for walking us, you dork.”

Nino shared a quick kiss with Alya before giving her hand a squeeze, “You know I couldn’t let a beautiful girl walk alone when at any minute someone could ask her out. The day before Valentines’ and all…”

Alya snorted, “I wouldn’t be alone, I’d have Marinette with me.”

Nino scratched his chin and pretended to look into the distance in deep thought, “Oh, right. Because two beautiful girls definitely won’t get hit on.”

“Ah,” Alya raised a finger, “Two beautiful girls who look like they’re dating. Come on, we both know how good we look together.”

Nino shook his head and smiled, not saying another word because she had a point.

Alya took a step towards the door again but turned around again, pointing a finger at Adrien, “Remember what I told you,” her eyes shifted between Adrien and the phone in his hand and nodded pointedly.

Adrien nodded back. Alya grinned and scratched his chin, “I’ll text you.”

Nino raised his hands in protest, “What about me?”

“Oh no, don’t worry, you don’t need me to text you. You aren’t an idiot.”

Adrien huffed. Alya stuck her tongue out and wiggled her fingers in the air, “See you.”

Alya finally went inside, leaving the two young men stunned.

“What was that about?” Nino wrapped an arm around Adrien and started walking to their dorm.

“Oh, it’s nothing…” Adrien sighed.

“Nervous about tomorrow?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“I don’t see the big deal, you two have been single and confused for five years, doesn’t hurt to give her a chance.”

Adrien shook his head, “It’s not that, not at all. I’d love to out with Marinette… the thing is, no one’s ever said that to me. Well, not in a long time anyway.”

“What? Oh, you mean when she said she loved you?”

Adrien coughed loudly.

“Yeah, I hear you. You don’t know how heavy that word is until you hear it. There are a lot of four-letter words said to be strong, but that one’s the strongest.”

Adrien turned his head away and looked at his shoulder, watching Nino’s hand shift.

“Hey,” Nino rubbed Adrien’s arm, “what’d you mean by no one ever saying that to you before?”

Adrien shrugged, “That’s just it. I literally haven’t heard it from anyone.”

“Well… I’m sure plenty of fangirls have said it to you.”

“You know what I meant. Like, say it, say it. The way fans scream that they love you, it’s easy. The same way they love me is the way I love a chocolate croissant.”

Nino furrowed his eyebrows, “They sob as they take a bite and you gush all over them? Wow… you have a secret life you aren’t telling me about.”

Adrien gave him a pathetic look. Nino stopped smiling, “Sorry, not the time. But… I mean you can’t really mean never, right?”

“Last time I heard it was from my mom, and well…”

There was silence for a few minutes.

Nino pursed his lips, “You know, that doesn’t mean no one feels that way. As much as he pisses me off, I’m sure your dad cares about you-”

“OTP!” someone shouted as soon as Adrien and Nino walked into their dorm lobby, Nino’s arm still around Adrien’s shoulders.

Nino laughed, “Hey, Lucas!”

Waiting till they were in the elevator and the doors had closed, Nino turned to Adrien again, “I mean, if it makes you feel any better, it’s pretty uncommon for any father to say that directly to their son.”

Adrien closed his eyes, “Caring is different from loving.”

Nino went quiet again. The elevator stopped at their floor, and they walked to their room.

Nino shut the door and caught Adrien’s hand before he could walk away, “Hey, well… you deserve to hear it more. I love you, Adrien.”

Adrien whimpered. Nino kissed his forehead and brought him into a tight hug.

“I love you too,” Adrien snuggled into Nino’s chest.

Adrien’s phone buzzed in his pocket, “That must be Alya.”

“Dude, I’m sorry she’s dragging you into her schemes.”

Adrien stepped away from Nino and plopped down in the desk chair, “It doesn’t bother me, if anything at least I know what to do to make Marinette happy.”

“You’ll make her happy by being there.”

“Well…” Adrien blushed, “I hope so. Oh, she even has a favorite cologne.”

“What? Marinette? Why would she have a favorite cologne… she’s never been interested in anyone else but you.”

Adrien looked up from his phone, “What’d you just say?”

“Ah, sorry, it’s not my place to say that. Forget I said anything. What’s the cologne anyway?”

“Alya says she’s double checking, still typing… oh… I already have that one. It’s called Escentric Molecules.”

Nino burst into laughter, “Bro… I’m sorry but… that sounds like the pocket protector of colognes.”

“I know it sounds dumb - or too smart - but it’s actually really special. I’ve only worn it once…”

“Oh? So you have dated without telling me,” Nino crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow.

Adrien rubbed his neck, “Or tried to date anyway. I didn’t think it was worth mentioning. Sorry.”

Nino tilted his head, “No problem, just messing with you. So, mind if I take a whiff of this famous cologne.”

“Sure, but you’ll have to wear it to smell it. It’s unique because it reacts to you, so only you can smell a particular way,” Adrien stood up and started to rummage through his dresser.

Nino squinted, “That means there’s no certainty Marinette will still like it on you.”

Adrien froze, “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Relax, I’m still teasing. Man, you really are nervous. Trust me she wouldn’t care if you smelled like sewage.”

“I DON’T WANT TO SMELL LIKE SEWAGE!”

Nino smacked his forehead.

Adrien grabbed his towel hurried to the door, “I’m gonna take a shower.”

* * *

“Mari…”

Marinette groaned from inside the blanket cocoon she had created.

“Marinette…”

The cocoon shuffled and inched its way along the bed, far away from the annoying call. Marinette tensed as she heard feet treading around the bed followed by silence.

“THERE SHE IS! AH HA HA!” Alya tugged the blanket away in one swift movement and revealed her little flower princess. Alya jumped onto the bed and hugged Marinette from behind, “YOU’RE FINALLY GOING ON A DATE WITH ADRIEN TOMORROW AAAAAAHH!!”

Marinette danced in Alya’s arms, “This can’t be real!”

Alya leaned in and rested her cheek against Marinette’s, “But it iiiiiss,” she sang, tickling Marinette’s stomach, which peeked out from under her pjs.

The two of them calmed down and lied peacefully with wide smiles on their faces.

Alya put her hand on Marinette’s hip, “It’s finally happening.” She turned her head and smirked down at her best friend, “so wanna practice kissing?”

Marinette blushed into her hands, “Alyaaa!”

“I’ll show you the basics… or more if you want~”

Marinette giggled, “Oh. EEeeek, leggo!”

Alya bit down on Marinette’s ear, “How’s this? Should I write any of this down to tell Adrien?”

“No- AHAHA- nonono- hahahaa!”

“I’ll call him now… Adrien? Yeah, your girl likes to be stroked on the thigh, especially under the table in a public restaurant it really turns her on.”

“PPPPffff, nnoooo,” Marinette gasped for air as she tried to stop laughing, “Don’t tell him that!”

“Oh? Mlle Dupain-Cheng - or should I say - Mme. Agreste-”

Marinette squealed.

“Would you like to tell me what I should tell Adrien? What do you like? Hmm~”

“Uuuhh… I like… no love… my… best friend, Alya!”

“Awww,” Alya planted multiple pecks to Marinette’s face, “But that won’t do, what do you want him to do to you?”

“Mmmm, kiss me?”

“Ugh,” Alya pushed away from Marinette, “You’re so boring,” she reached over and stroked her face, “But pure.”

Alya rolled over to her twin bed, which had been pushed up against Marinette’s, “Night.”

“Goodnight, Alya.”

“Ssslllleeeeepp.”

“Sweet dreams.”

“Have sweet dreams about Adrien~”

“I will~”

“...”

“Ok to be honest I might like if one of his famously long showers was with me-”

“Mari, oh my God! I knew it.”

  * * *

Nino was the first to be in the meeting spot. After a day of classes that just couldn’t be canceled for love, they all had to come on their own. Nino’s classes ended a bit sooner, he’d gone to the dorm and gotten ready, and in no time he was all set an hour ahead of time. And after deciding to use the spare time to get some homework done, he instead listened to his playlist while staring at his homework. He had no idea how forty-five minutes could have possibly gone by, but regardless he made his way towards the cafe they had agreed on.

“You’re here early.”

Nino whipped his head around to find Marinette leaning on the wall next to him, “So are you.”

“Well, I thought I was, but you’re even earlier than early.”

“Couldn’t help being early,” he grinned, “never could, never will.”

“That’s sweet of you,” Marinette hugged Nino’s arm, “I never knew you were the romantic  type.”

“Ah, no I can’t help being early because Alya’s always late,” Nino winked.

Marinette poked Nino’s side, “Somehow I doubt that’s all there is to it.”

Nino rolled his eyes and chuckled, “Whatever. So… nervous? Excited?”

Marinette wiped her sweaty hands on her coat for the third time in a row, “Ha! How could you tell?”

“Man, you two really are perfect for each other,” Nino patted Marinette head, “you’ll be fine, he’s been looking forward to this.”

Marinette pursed her lips, “You don’t think I scared him? Throwing ‘love’ in his face?”

“Ohh no, of course not. Trust me, he took what you said to heart. I think you made him really happy.”

Marinette blushed. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around the idea, but making him feel happy felt amazing, it was all she wanted. To love him, and make sure he knew it.

“Hey, you know,” Marinette looked him over, “You look really nice.”

Nino looked down at himself as though he couldn’t remember what he was wearing. He wore a light gray cowl-neck sweater with a dark gray blazer and slim dress pants. He felt it was a comfortable fit between casual and formal.

“Thanks, you too, but what else is new?”

Marinette looked just the right combination of flirty and delicate; a white turtleneck crop top with a black leather jacket, a dusty rose high-waisted skirt, and black heels.

She smiled, “Aw, what a charmer. So… have you ever gone out without your glasses?”

“No-”

“You should try it!” Marinette reached up and snatched Nino’s glasses, “Ooohhh myy… look at you. Right when you thought he couldn’t get any better, 10/10 upgraded to 20/10!”

“Gee, thanks, I can’t see,” Nino squinted.

“Meh, love is blind.”

“Marinette!”

“I’ll just put them in my clutch.”

“Give them back…” Nino lunged towards Marinette’s coat pocket.

She giggled and twisted out of his reach. Nino grabbed her waist with one hand and reached around with the other, earning him a slap on the wrist.

“Give it…” Nino had a grip on her purse and tried to pull her hand off of it, “Oh, yeah? You wanna play this game? Shortcake?”

“Eewwwww,” Marinette cringed, but kept her hand firmly in place.

“Hmm, why do you hate being called Shortcake so much? Is it because you hate being called short?”

“I don’t know! It’s just… weird.”

“Would it still be weird if, say, Adrien called you that?”

Marinette flinched, “A-Adrien?”

“Aha!” Nino took his opening and grabbed his glasses back.

“You two are early.”

They both looked at Alya, watching in amusement, Adrien just behind her.

Nino smiled. His dimples suddenly challenged by the twinkle in his eyes, perfectly accented by the sunset’s reds and yellows. His face was glowing and desperate to be smothered in kisses.

Alya bit her lip and cocked an eyebrow, “Can you even see?”

“No,” Nino frowned at Marinette.

“But doesn’t he look great?” Marinette pinched his cheek.

Alya nodded subtly, “Please, I’ve seen him without his glasses before, among other things.”

“Alya, someone might misunderstand!”

“Well, I don’t plan to keep that a misunderstanding for long~”

Nino choked for a moment and hastily put his glasses back on.

“So, shall we get going?” Alya offered a hand for Nino to grab.

“Oh, right. Adrien,” Nino gestured to Marinette with a sly grin, he lowered his voice to a whisper, “This is your date; Shortcake.”

Adrien blinked, “Oh…” he walked up to Marinette after Alya nudged him. Adrien took Marinette’s hand and kissed her knuckles, “Hey, Shortcake.”

Marinette wheezed, “Ahahaha hi… um… Muffin?”

Adrien winced, “Sorry, was the name weird? Nino said-”

“Anyway, let’s go!” Nino waved them over and started walking, “I’m starving.”

Adrien looked at Marinette with a lopsided smile and offered his hand. Marinette swallowed visibly, taking his hand with an awkward laugh. They jogged to catch up with their friends, ending up taking the whole sidewalk while walking side by side.

Alya side-eyed Adrien and whispered, “Did you bring her anything?”

Adrien lifted a finger to his smiling lips, “Later.”

* * *

Outside of the restaurant, Adrien stopped outside the entrance and turned to Marinette. He reached into his overcoat and pulled out a folded square of tissue paper.

“Marinette,” he unfolded the paper and revealed a flower crown, “I made this for you. I figured I’d get you a bouquet, but I couldn’t decide on one. You’re the most beautiful flower, you can be the bouquet.”

The crown was made with peach, red, light pink, and dark red miniature roses. Adrien stroked Marinette’s hair - half up in a woven braid - and gently settled the crown on her head. Marinette smiled shyly and covered her mouth. She couldn’t even look up at Adrien now, she was redder than the scarf around his neck.

“Thank you- I mean- no, yes that’s what I meant… eheheh,” Marinette covered her entire face.

Adrien took hold of her wrist, leaning down to peer into an opening in between her fingers where her eye blinked back at him. Eventually, she let him pull her hands away; he lifted her chin and waited for her to return his gaze.

“I forgot, I never asked… will you be my Valentine, Marinette?”

Marinette bit her lip and smiled down at her toes, “Ye-”

“Look at me, Princess,” Adrien chuckled.

Marinette squeaked, looking back into Adrien’s eyes, “Y-yes.”

“Are we going inside or what?” Alya brought them out of their daze.

Adrien and Marinette giggled nervously, hurrying into the restaurant ahead of Alya and Nino.

“Why do I feel like I just watched a marriage proposal. Although, that last part made me feel like I shouldn’t have been watching that,” Nino put his arm around Alya and walked her through the doors.

“It practically was a proposal,” Alya pretended to dry her tears, “they’re growing up so fast.”

After following the waiter to their booth, Alya removed her white princess coat, revealing her red, off the shoulder sheath dress. It had a split neck and an asymmetrical hem and hugged her curves perfectly-

Nino coughed, “Uh, I have to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.”

“S-same here!” Marinette rushed alongside Nino.

Alya sat down across from Adrien, “So, you’re a lot more romantic than I thought you were.”

“Ah, thanks,” Adrien glanced over to the restrooms, “but I hope I didn’t upset her.”

Alya snorted, “Are you kidding? She’s over the moon. You were amazing. God, if it were me I’d pull you into the family restroom and jump you right then and there.”

“Oh…” Adrien blushed, “Well, you weren’t so bad yourself.”

Alya cocked an eyebrow.

Adrien leaned forward, “I mean, you didn’t even have to say anything… you just slipped out of your coat. You say you’d pull me into the bathroom? I’d race you there.”

Alya’s jaw dropped in amusement, “Adrien Agreste, are you flirting with me?”

Adrien circled a finger around the rim of his cup of water, “Sorry, people constantly get confused and mistake small talk for flirting. Didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“Ha,” Alya squinted at him, “smartass.”

She kicked him in the shin, then ran the tip of her shoe along his calf, “You're such a sly little shit, you know that?”

Adrien rubbed his leg, “I do now.”

“Tch,” Alya rolled her eyes.

Nino and Marinette returned together.

“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Marinette scooted next to Adrien.

Nino looked at the four waters and menus on the table, “Did you guys order yet?”

“Nope, waiter left these a second ago,” Adrien lifted the menu and started looking through it.

“Order soon I want to have time after this,” Alya passed a menu to Marinette, “I have something planned.”

        * **

Alya waved goodbye to Adrien and Marinette. They’d agreed to split up and enjoy the Valentines’ fair as couples. The problem was, they didn’t know where to start. There were karaoke rooms, boat rides, compatibility games, rides, artist booths, clothing and jewelry booths, and all sorts of activities.

“Are photo booths bad reminders to you or…?” Marinette turned to Adrien after looking around.

Adrien laughed, “No, but to be honest, I haven’t really been in one.”

Marinette raised her eyebrows, “Seriously?” she glanced back at the photo booths, “well…”

“Let’s go! If you want?” He squeezed her hand.

Before she could overthink things, Adrien ran and pulled her along into the first booth.

“What kind of pictures do we take?” Adrien pushed a couple euros into the slot and blinked up at the bright screen.

“Whatever we want, just improvise.”

The first countdown started and Adrien did the first thing that came to mind; teasing.

He lifted his hand over Marinette’s head, palm facing down. She looked up at it and growled. For the next picture, she already had Adrien by the scarf, lowered down to her eye level so she could glare at him.

He stuck out his tongue and licked her nose, she attacked him and he looked genuinely afraid, she tickled him, he tickled her back, he sat on her lap, she pinched his butt and captured the best face she’d ever seen him pull. They continued to make faces and crazy poses - Marinette allowed one anime pose and immediately regretted it - until the last photo. Adrien leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, her smile seemed to glow.

They wandered around aimlessly while talking about the photos. Anyone who walks around like that gets noticed.

“Excuse me, mademoiselle.”

Marinette blinked up at the man sticking a small paper in her face.

“Would you like to put your names in for a chance to win a prize? It’s free as long as you fill this out,” he continued.

“Uhhh,” Marinette looked over to Adrien, who had just noticed what was going on.

“What’s the matter?” Adrien stepped closer to the sweepstake host.

“I was just telling your girlfriend-”

They both blushed.

“-That it’s completely free to enter for a prize, what do you say?”

“Um,” Adrien looked at Marinette, who shrugged in response, “I guess it doesn’t hurt.”

“Of course, not! Excellent, here just fill this out,” the host handed them the paper and a pen and waited for them to write their names, phone numbers, and emails.

He walked away with the paper and stood up on the stage upfront, “Ok, everyone! I think it’s due time for another draw!”

The crowd cheered.

“Let’s see who are next winners are!” The host looked over to the woman who had been entering names into a computer. She lifted an ok sign and a couple of names spun onto the screen.

“I don’t believe it, what a lucky couple, Marinette and Adrien - Sandrine, what have they won?”

An animated prize wheel popped up on screen and slowed to a stop. “Three nights at Le Narcisse Blanc spa hotel! Incredible, it must be meant to be! Congratulations.”

Adrien and Marinette couldn’t hear the applause of the audience, they just stood there, petrified. As they finally looked at each other, they both wondered the same thing; what was Alya going to say?