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crimsonbluuu · 11 months ago

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It's kind of cold, man - Damian x Jon

Damian is cold, and he’s sick. Not sick enough to the point he’s bedridden, but sick enough that he doesn’t feel like getting in and out of bed.

He does anyway, and makes most of the rest of his time; then Jon comes back to the apartment and makes everything just a tad bit better.

(1,903 word count)

Warnings!

< Grammatical errors

< May or may not be somewhat ooc

read here, or on ao3!

Damian coughs into his hand for the seventh time this morning, still wrapped underneath the red duvet on Jonathan’s bed. The sun was setting slowly, its evening glow shining through the curtains in the small room. Damian shivered, snuggling farther into the covers. Jonathan had left hours ago, rambling about something to do with school.

And while his boyfriend was out doing God knows what, with God knows who, Damian was stuck in the other’s small apartment building that was a nice fifteen-minute walk away from the university he attended. Besides, Damian was content with lying down underneath the covers that provided warmth, unlike the rest of the apartment.

For some damned reason, Jon’s apartment was as cold as the Arctic; his heat refused to work. Damian blames it on the landlord, and Jon blames it on no one.

Why? because Jon is a saint, even though it’s obvious the landlord hasn’t updated the heater, Jon refuses to acknowledge it. So yes, Damian would much rather be in his very warm, insulated penthouse, with his silk covers and blackout curtains.

Despite his previous statements, he's very tempted to throw the covers off, dress in something warm, and leave the apartment as quickly as possible for his penthouse two hours away in Gotham. But he doesn't; instead, he throws the covers off of himself and throws on the closest thing he can find—a sweater and sweat pants.

He would hate to admit it, but the only thing he practically feels like doing at the moment is crashing down on Jon's hand-me-down couch and watching reality TV shows. Dick has rubbed off on him way too much. So he does exactly that, in that exact order.

Time flies by when you're being lazy and doing nothing. Especially when The Housewives of Atlanta plays in the background and the only thing Damian is "getting" from the show is a loss of brain cells, suddenly it explains why Richard originally thought that fish didn't have mouths.

And it just happens that when he's on the verge of going to sleep, after ignoring his soar throat and pulsing headache, he hears the familiar jingle of keys from outside the door and comes walking in a ball of sunshine.

The sun has already set, and the moon rises in its absence. Jon comes in humming some old country songs that he undoubtedly picked up from Jonathan Sr. He walks a short distance from the front door to the makeshift living room and collapses onto the couch, directly on top of Damian.

"Get off of me, you fat lug," Damian says, almost on instinct, since whenever Jon comes home and he just happens to be relaxing, not bothering him, he prefers to literally fall on him when he walks in.

"What happened to Hi, Hello, How are you?" Jon laughed, wrapping his arms around Damain's torso like an octopus. Damian sighed, rolling his eyes, but made no noise in protest as Jon did whatever he was doing.

Jonathan glanced up at him, smiling. His stupid glasses making him look dorky, with his dopey smile and doughy eyes, and the way his arms held tightly around Damian, as if he didn't want to—as if he wasn't going to let the other go.

"Missed you, dames." He smiled, gently kissing the other on his cheek, his lips lingering just for a moment before he laced his head back down on Damain's chest. Damian patted his head, lowering his head just a bit to give a soft kiss on the crown of Jonathan's head.

"Hm." Damian replied, not worrying about his lack of speech. Jonathan knew how Damian felt about him; words weren't a necessity in their relationship; they fit snuggly like a puzzle piece, like a dopey couple costume, like grapes to fine wine.

"What's this even about?" Jon questioned, watching the TV screen with a confused gaze. Damian shrugged; he'd lost focus from it the second he saw Richard watching it in the manors den at a quarter past five in the morning. At this point, he just turned it on for background noise.

"I'm not sure, though I think Richard would gladly discuss the meaning of the show with you." Damian smirks, and Jon quickly dismisses the idea. Everyone knows, or at least everyone who has ever had the grace of meeting Richard, that when he's passionate about something, whether it be a TV show or a new fighting technique, he won't shut up about it.

It's certainly not a bad thing, either. It just goes to an extent that no one expects overtime. Damian vividly remembers briefly mentioning that he appreciated the art of music, and the very next day there were a dozen books on the art of music stacked near his bed and several guitars.

"No- no thanks. I remember the last time I talked about something I liked with Dick, and at like three in the morning he was standing outside the window with a koala bear." Damian couldn't help but furrow his brows in confusion at Jon's experience.

"What now?" He questioned, slightly sitting up on the couch; his expression was the pinnacle of confusion, and he made sure Jon realized this.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I swear to baby Jesus that your brother showed up with a koala bear," Jon swore, and he sounded like he was on the verge of laughing and crying at the same time as he looked at Damian's expression.

"It's illegal to own a Koala Bear; how'd he manage to bring one here? Especially in the dead of night?" Damian seemed genuinely baffled with what Jon was telling him, and he had a hard time believing Dick scaled up a forty-foot building with a possibly rabid Koala hanging onto him, then again...

"That's the thing; I have no idea! And then, when he offered it to me and I said no, he just left, and I've never seen the koala anywhere, ever again." Jon said, laughing. Damian furrowed his brows again.

"Man, your brothers sure are weird." Jon let out an exasperated sigh, a soft laugh drawing itself from his throat as Damain's bamboozed expression stayed on his face.

"I need to contact someone." He said, narrowing his eyes. Jon looked up at him again, raising a brow.

"I need to know how I can steal a Koala bear, Jonathan; this is important information." Damian said, his eye narrowing as he scanned the room for his phone, Jon let out a sigh.

"Damian, please no."

#damian wayne #damian wayne fanfiction #damijon #damian wayne x jon kent #supersons #jondami #jonathan samuel kent #Damian Wayne x Jonathan Samuel Kent #fluff #crimsonblues.writes

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bereft-of-frogs · 8 months ago

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the friday list ~

this is really covering like a week and a half, because with all the traveling and eclipse adventures, I didn't have much to update last week.

books:

Jawbone - Monica Ojeda: I finally finished this one. I think it went on just a little long for the structure, which was very stream-of-consciousness. There would be like, multiple pages with no paragraph or dialogue breaks. It was interesting, I still liked the vibe, but it ended up being kind of hard to get through.

(in-progress, for book club) This Wretched Valley - Jenny Kiefer: What I like about this book is it's doing a good job showing how annoying both rock climbing people and 'I can't go anywhere without my dog' people are without fully tipping over into completely insufferable. She's walking that line really well. The metaphors are a tiny bit much but I'm enjoying the atmosphere so far. Oh also, I'm struggling a tiny bit with how many dumb decisions they're making. Like, I get that there's something supernatural going on, but outdoor horror stories definitely have a very narrow margin for error between 'understandable mistakes' and 'why the fuck wouldn't you bring a second helmet or rope? why once there's a significant injury does it never occur to you to send one person hiking out to get help? WHY DON'T YOU HAVE ANY PAPER MAPS OR A COMPASS???????' Oh, wah, the GPS is broken, WHY ARE YOU RELYING SOLELY ON GPS IN THE FIRST PLACE? (ok sort of unfair because there's some spooky shit going on so even if they did everything right they wouldn't escape BUT that's even less of an excuse to have them make a bunch of dumb mistakes. Like isn't it MORE horrifying if you do everything right and still can't get out? Idk I just like competent characters and I wish more outdoor horror did the 'super competent characters make understandable mistakes or are caught by forces outside of their control' and less just went for the imo lazy 'idiots bumbling into doom'.)

(in-progress, phone book) Into the Dark - Claudia Gray: I had some bad scrolling moments there for a couple days, but I'm rededicated to not scrolling, catching up on the High Republic series instead. I'm a little over halfway, I forgot this book does one thing I find a little irksome, but it's a can of worms I don't want to open, iykyk kind of deal. Still love Reath though.

(in-progress) The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien: I don't often reread The Hobbit, but once I finished LOTR I thought I'd pick it up. It's always funny to me when Tolkien like, slips into a lore dump in the middle of his children's adventure novel. Like we'll be bopping around and suddenly he'll be like 'and in the days of the kings of old, when the Valar....' and there's just a paragraph with all the cadences of The Silmarillion before he kind of snaps back and remembers what they're doing and it's back to being a romp.

tv:

Severance (AppleTV): Oh my GOD. WHAT. This was so disturbing and so funny and I basically had a 45 minute heart attack during that finale. I can't wait for season 2, that was INSANE. I think my only critique is that I wish some of the twists had been signaled a bit earlier. I think I might rewatch to see if I pick up on any foreshadowing but I really didn't seen the twist about Mark's wife coming at all, like it wasn't even on my radar as a direction they could take. It felt like it was signaled then revealed seemingly within the same episode, and I thought maybe there could have been more hints earlier on. Though I think some worked to come out of nowhere, like who Helly really is.

Anthracite (Netflix): Short little 6 episode cult mystery on Netflix. It's kind of a frenetic pace which I think is partially purposeful style, and partially because they only have 6 episodes. I think I'd like to see the 10 episode version of this show, where they have a little more time to build the characters.

movies:

Train to Busan (2016): I had never actually seen this. It was a truly excellent zombie film. I cried.

Jigoku (1960): I'm back to trying to work through the Letterboxd Top 250 horror list, AND try to watch all the ones on Criterion so I can drop that subscription. Bit of a slow build, but the hell scenes were cool.

Zone of Interest (2023): Do I regret not seeing this in theaters? I don't know. I didn't because it didn't seem like I needed the big screen, but the more I heard about the sound design and now that I've seen it, yeah, I think it deserved the big speaker system and not my TV's kind of tinny speakers. The sound design was for sure the real star. Extremely disturbing and effective. Maybe it would have been TOO much seeing it in theaters.

Speak No Evil (2022): I get what they were trying to do but you can refer to my liveblog to see why it didn't quite work for me.

Monkey Man (2024): Omg I almost forgot to put this one? This was such a good action movie, Dev Patel is fantastic and the soundtrack is 10/10. I really enjoyed it, if you haven't seen it yet you 100% should.

video game update: got through Ilum in my perpetual Fallen Order playthrough. Which means: purple lightsaber time :)

craft update: I have reached the underarm join on my vest! Which is exciting because I'm so close to not needing to purl anymore but I did not think through a significant tool issue so before I actually join it up I have to either 1) find another #7 circular needle among my supplies, 2) buy another one, 3) possibly just buy another set of interchangeable needle tips? We'll see if I can JUST get the needle tips and it's not too expensive.

to do:

I have to do an errand I don't want to on my lunch hour. Boo. It involves paperwork and the DMV. I know it will probably not take as long as I'm imagining but. I don't wanna. I'm watching a video of a youtuber I like also deal with car registration as inspiration. Argh. Let this saga be over, before I can't deal with it anymore and drive my stupid car into the sea (I shouldn't joke about that someone actually did that like 6 months ago).

post office to hopefully finally finish the above saga

clean apartment

finish out the first week of my new running routine with about 2 miles tonight and then around 3ish tomorrow

writing goals: I think I figured out my block on chapter 7, so my goal for the next week is to finish a really rough draft of chapter 8, then retreat back to finishing up chapter 7 and then continuing on with the more polished version of chapter 8. I moved some things around. I don't think I have to kill a darling (a paragraph I really like). I think I found a place for it that doesn't completely break the characterization and logic, like the version I started with.

figure out knitting needle issue and/or finish detangling yarn so I can make progress on other project

I might go to home depot because I have a dresser I'd like to repaint, I've had the swatches picked out for a full year now, I just have to actually get the paint and sandpaper and such.

despair: oh my god my activity page is ruined. that post about fanon has over 10k notes. I'm gradually losing faith in the reading comprehension of this site (gradually?). pray that things lessen up a bit this week LOL But also #grateful no one has called me a bitch yet, small wins, I've just learned a lot about random discourse in other fandoms, no one's actually tried to start discourse with me yet

#long post #the friday list #lists lists lists

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unsupervised-threat · 10 months ago

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There are no narrative inconsistencies in RT's Act 4. Period. Zero.

Also known as: my friend channeling her inner Cegorach, to deal with Act 4 shenanigans.

Obviously full of spoilers and critique bordering on venting. But in a hilarious way.

Me & the gals read it and had a good laugh, so we poked her to share it in public, but she's too shy. So now I'm going to share it. With her permission, of course XD

There are no narrative inconsistencies. Period. Zero. None.

Act 4 starts with the portal spitting us out on Janus, annoying Muaran.

“Fucking mon-keigh…” greets Muaran, despite us being allies. Once again, I beg Muaran to give me some colony projects, but he ignores me. We make our way back to my voidship with me wiping my tears away, while Yrliet pats me on the back sympathetically.

“Lord Captain! It is high time you do something about your xenos pet!” says Argenta and Heinrix the moment I finally sat my arse on my stupid throne. I look at them dead in the eye, tired of repeating myself, then I give them the middle finger. “Argenta, how about I lash you instead for what you did?” I add, but she ignores me. Everyone ignores what I just said, and I begin to question if Argenta ever admitted doing what she did. 'Okay. Must be the trauma induced delusions imagining these things, then’ I thought to myself, deciding to forget the whole thing.

Time to retire to my chambers for some peace and quiet.

KnockKnock. Idira wants to speak to me. KnockKnock Heinrix wants to speak to me. KnockKocno, black screen wants to speak to me. KocnoKoco, uh, wants to speeketh to meeh!?error?error??crash to desktop. Reboot required. …I meta-reload and decide to leave my chambers without resting. The cursed knocking finally ceases. The error filled warp releases us from its grip.

Let’s get down to Rogue Trading business.

“Anything interesting occurring in my absence?” I ask my bridge officer. “Lord Captain, Winterscale had misplaced himself in one of his jungle planets, Chorda allied herself with Lord Calcazar taking Footfall from us, and all of our colonies are on fire.” “Terrific news.” In no hurry, I make my way to scan random planets for resources which later I will find out I can’t even use. There is no more content. “Funny how little actual Rogue Trading I do when it’s basically my only fucking job…” I mumble to myself while finally turning to see what’s up with Chorda.

Bzzz! Zbang!

“Lord Captain!” Uh-oh. “What now?” I ask, hopeful for content™ “Lord Captain, we have intercepted an anomaly that almost collided with us,” reports my Vox Mistress. “Okay? Anything else about it?” I ask. “No, nothing else to report.” “...” “Then why the dramatic interruption? Is this not leading up to anything? My journal entry did not get updated. What was the point of this?” My Vox Mistress shrugs, “Only the Emperor knows, Lord Captain.” “...”

We reach Footfall, and we find out that Chorda is hanging Pirates for Piracy on a Piracy planetoid. “Hm. How does that make any sense? Is it not easier to just bomb the entire planet instead of purging it manually like this?” I question the logic of it out loud to no one in particular.

Chorda smirks smirkingly at my arrival. With the attitude of Paris Hilton welcoming some schmuck into her 5 stars Hilton hotel. “How do you like my deliverance of Imperium justice, RT?” she smugly asks. I frown. “How do you like this planetoid barren of any life forms if you plan on killing every single man here?” She ignores my questions and suddenly declares me to be placed under trial. “Sorry, what did you just say? A trial? A 3rd trial after I just escaped from Commorragh? Are you okay?” ‘Am I okay?’

Feeling overwhelmed by the stupidity of this narrative I pick up her spoon to eat this random man’s brains raw. Marazhai, for some reason, is into it. “You are disgusting” says Chorda, who 5 seconds prior also partook in eating this poor sod’s brains. “And you are a hypocrite who has peas for brains. Is that why you’re doing this? To replenish your non-existent brain lobs, perhaps?” I say, unimpressed with her insult.

In a flustered panic, Chorda shares Vladaym’s location and tells me to go kill him, despite me making it clear I despise her and want her dead. “Why are you telling me th- Oh for fu-, you know what? Nevermind. Let’s just go.” We leave.

We reach Vladaym's super secret hide out. “Hello to you, you sneaky rascal” I greet him in a friendly manner, because we’ve already established we’re allies. “Your Ladyship, you might not have a lot of love for me or our business-” “What?” I interrupt him. “What do you mean, Vladaym? I traded with the Kasballica. Do you even check your statistics? I am literally your number 1 store buyer. I send Footfall provisions. I kept you in charge of Footfall under Valancius’ wing. I was nice to you personally. What do you mean, I don't have a lot of love for you???!”

I get ignored, as per usual.

“Yo” says Hieronymus, making an aquila gesture greeting. “Yo” I salute back, making an aeldari greeting gesture in return. “Did you know I’m a piece of shit who indoctrinated Chorda since she was little to be the ultimate heretic killing machine? This is why she is the way she is btw.” Hieronymus admits with little prompting. “Oh, spare me her sob story! Are you serious?!” Hieronymus doesn’t respond, just soullessly stares at me, giving me nothing.

I become desperate.

“You info dumping her sob story on me, ONLY WITH A DOGMATIC DIALOGUE OPTION, is all this game gives me to make me like her enough to redeem her AS AN ICONOCLAST? How does that make any sense?! This is truly all you are going to give me??” I grab onto Hieronymus’ sleeve, having lost it entirely. The priest looks down at me with pity then shrugs. “The Emperor bestows a lot on his followers, my child. The gift of logic and sense however... were omitted here.” “Omitted? You mean just for this quest only, right? This is simply a flaw, a hiccup in the overarching narrative, and not for the rest of the story, father? Right? Right, father???” “...I am so sorry, my child. But while we’re at it, I must warn you. You will aggro my boss fight regardless of what you do during this quest.”

I stare into the dirty rooftop of the bar, to avoid tears leaking out of my eyeballs. The dirty metallic rooftop stares back. "I am not possessed or insane. Everything around me is simply too bugged. Nothing is real." I mumble crazily to comfort myself. The dirty rooftop then laughs at me, seeing how I have not reached any of the conviction point thresholds that are required for anything during this act.

I snap and let out an inhuman screech, pressing the quit button.

#rogue trader #rogue trader critical #rogue trader spoilers

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katyahina · 2 years ago

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Quick Caryll headcanons update!

Alright, a few months ago I've made a post where I doodled all Byrgenwerth scholars I could possibly think of, but I've decided to change my ideas a bit in the end! Basically, I turned one character into two! So here is the changed post with the full cast and quick rundown: ( x )

More detail on why the change under cut though!

Long ago, when I just gotten into Bloodborne, my first vision of the character Caryll was of a red haired man who also was an artist. Even in one of those stereotypical berets, all that. Then I learned Caryll was ungendered name, so I opened up to potential of female character instead (really love to have more of those). And it was also around that time when I figured the potential of Caryll as the inspiration for the statue with a stitch on her forehead we see just behind Memory Altar - as well as Witch of Hemwick! We find Runes Workshop tool on a tied up corpse in Hemwick that appears to have bled and surrounded by many paper sheets, that made me think of experimenting on him to find out how many runes can human brain memorize at once before it explodes. Turns out only four, and that's my justification for in lore how everyone knows to not hold more than four in mind at once.

So for a while she was one of the witches and sole person responcible for runes - both having deciphered language of Great Ones, and then having brain surgery to 'speed up' process of receiving inhuman information! That dramatically shortened her lifespan and thus Old Hunters (and Church's prospectors too) revered her as a great help for their grave robbing- errr, exploration of the Chalice Dungeons! Hence why same statues are in the dungeons too.

Later though I found out that in Japanese original, character Caryll has legitimately masculine name - Karel, variant of Charles. ( x ) I myself use japanese script a lot but it never occured to me to check kanji of names so that was... a late discovery. Now I check names and titles too and it only was useful (especially with proper name of Kos thing). That didn't sit very well with that super female figure martyr mother teresa something vibe of the statue I copied Caryll from, nor with witch idea... Yet it still made a lot of sense to connect Hemwick stuff to it.

So I was lost on what to do, and then I remembered the very old instant impression of the redhead artist man and... It finally made sense to me! So I guess I just... knew something before I KNEW it?

So yeah, now Runes are joint effort of two people! :) Caryll is an artist from Cainhurst that also drew all those portraits, and had enough archiological education and talent to figure out an alphabet of Great Ones that even others could be taught to envision their own personal runes (ie Ludwig and Adeline). He saw very big potential in it as such language is exempt of the flaws of human languages and errors in verbal communication! People could even communicate their OWN thoughts and feelings to someone else without misunderstandings or language barriers - like how League's rune allows Valtr to let others see HIS understanding of what evil is and who has it. He also was slightly biased because he was hardly eloquent at all, and only felt like he could express himself in visual art. x)

Meanwhile, the witch was more of the "inventor" person that found a way to utilize Runes and created tools and means for exchanging them very effectively between people, without any divine Insight by brain fluid needed! Possibly worked on combining runes with ancient bells to basically create Arcane version of cellphones x) By getting literal eyes in her brain, she was able to receive significant amount of information that Caryll was able to perceive and write down too! Within lore, being close to a person who is seeing a Rune could make you see it too. Since it killed the witch quick, she was honored as martyr in the workshop for her sacrifice for the progress.

I now call her Carolee, but funny enough? Runesmith is mistranslation as well, because in the original it is 'Transcriptor Karel'. So basically Caryll is, indeed, transcriptor, meanwhile Carolee is, indeed, runeSMITH. Because tools and stuff. Had it not been too hard to bounce between general english speaking fandom and people who dwell on Japanese original as much as I do, I'd just call them Caryll and Karel instead! But yeah although similar names situation happens (like Adella and Adeline), that'd just be too confusing, so I gave her just a name that is variant of Caryll (and not variant of Karel!) similar enough, to still have connection to her previous version!

SO yeah, thanks anyone who read this short story! xD It just feels right for me, besides I feel like it'd be just bad to waste that redhead artist who came to me like a muse over a translation mistake... Like, sorry guy, you can't exist because I didn't bother to check the names extra time? It is like he saught me to let him exist, and I want him to have this chance! :) Just personal creator's intuition bias, don't mind me.

#bloodborne #runesmith caryll #third witch of hemwick #carolee the librarian #my art #bloodborne headcanons #two of them!!!!!!#also sorry for very strange colors filter in the doodle. it will happen again.#i actually wanted to doodle a few scenes including the two because illustrated headcanons rock #but i got hit with depression WHEREAS the original byrgenwerth cast suddenly got like... +10 notes?#like i did not expect people to like all those headcanons so much #but it became clear that i needed to hurry with updating that post because older version started to get spread #so yeah one doodle for now #i am very happy though this character waited long enough to exist in my mind again!#also carolee is supposed to be very tall and caryll is supposed to be normal height #but the way i drew them carolee is normal height and caryll is short..... rip #but yeah for the record he is not a smol. that's laurence's job!

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etes-secrecy-post · 2 years ago

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Hi, before I explain my post, I want to say something important.

• What you see my blog has become a major overhaul. And despite the changes, I decided that my 2nd account will be now my artwork blog with a secret twist.

⚠️NEW RULE! (W/ BIGGER TEXT!)⚠️

⚠️ SO PLEASE DO NOT SHARE MY 2nd ACCOUNT TO EVERYONE! THIS SECRECY BLOG OF MINE IS FOR CLOSES FRIENDS ONLY!⚠️

• AND FOR MY CLOSES FRIENDS, DON’T REBLOG IT. INSTEAD, JUST COPY MY LINK AND PASTE IT ON YOUR TUMBLR POST! JUST BE SURE THE IMAGE WILL BE REMOVED AND THE ONLY LEFT WAS THE TEXT.

⚠️ SHARING LINKS, LIKE POSTS, REBLOG POSTS, STEALING MY SNAPSHOT PHOTOS/RECORDED VIDEOS/ARTWORKS (a.k.a. ART THIEVES) OR PLAGIARIZING FROM UNKNOWN TUMBLR STRANGERS WILL IMMEDIATELY BE BLOCKED, RIGHT AWAY!⚠️

😡��WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT EVER LIKED & REBLOG MY SECRET POST! THIS IS FOR MY SECRET FRIENDS ONLY, NOT YOU! 😡

Okay? Capiche? Make sense? Good, now back to the post…↓

My GTA V Online (late) Festivity Holidays - Flare Trails [Jan 4th, 2023]

Hello, it’s me! And welcome back to another GTA V Online moment, the (late) Festivity Holidays edition! 😄🎄❄️

And today, I found something different... Well, what is it? Let's find out, right now.

But before that, If you haven't watched my previous post, then please [CLICK ME!].

My recorded video (via XBOX game bar & edited from Filmora) ⏺️🎮🖥️: ↑ (Pls watch.)

• So Ummm... I'm at the public session without any players around to kill me, and that's good. Well, except for these annoying bots who are sending these complicated codecs (or something), good thing they're no threat to us. Anyways, originally, I was gonna attempt the "Gooch" special random event, but then, I look upon the flare smoke on my screen. I inspect why is there a flare smoke around Blaine county? I try to get out of my Nightshark vehicle & pick it up. Hmmm, so now, I'm following the flare smoke, as I saw another one. Now, I tried to follow the flare smoke, and I immediately saw another one from below, but I can't find it, and I fail the random event.

• So, according to my rapid research, it turns out that this is a "Smuggler Cache" random event. It was added on Aug 18th, 2022 as part of the "Criminal Enterprises". Hmmm... Should I attempt another one when the time is right? I hope so.

• As for the so-called "Gooch" special random event, well, unfortunately, I didn't get a chance because it's super rare to do so. I tried to go public session at the farthest location to prevent killing grief (from other players) but to no avail. Such a shame. So, what's so special about it? Well, killing the "Gooch" after mugging out of nowhere (from the aforementioned "Gooch") will receive a special holiday mask + GTA$ cash. You know what, that mask looks goofy & ugly on my face, anyway. At least I have my unlockable snowman costume.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This could be my last snowy moment for GTA V Online. Because this Thursday, the snowy weather will be changed to normal condition weather. Unless, If I have another chance to get that "Gooch". Will I? We'll see...

(😡 Unwanted tresspassers are prohibited to see this!😡)

Well, that's all for now. And If you want to see my previous car prize, and more, then please → [CLICK ME!]. 😉

(Where do all the links go you may ask? I made a post about all GTA V Online-related links. This will prevent error save drafts, in my future post. Plus, I’m always updating my link post.)

Tagged: @bryan360, @carmenramcat, @leapant

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hackedintucson · 11 months ago

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Windows Management Insturmentation (WMI)

It’s a key logging software which comes pre-installed on every Windows PC sold in the world. It is the same piece of software your help desk uses to identify and fix a variety of problems with your computer. Most people have never heard of it let alone know it is installed on their computers. Every program which runs on Windows, creates a log file (events) to provide key pieces of information to users, other pieces of software, etc. A lot of what you will find inside a log file (events) is not only in a human readable format but can provide even the most basic user s general sense of how things are going; be it good or bad. The words Warning and Error in bold colors such as Gold and Red are hard to miss as well as being clearly different than say Good and Green. Make sense?

In mid to late 2019, Microsoft released a Windows update. Almost immediately they also released a security patch to address an issue with the update. Guess what, the patch was issued to deal primarily with a security flaw in Windows update, specifically an issue dealing with you guessed it WMI. Apparently, the patch addressed the ability of unauthorized users to remote access a given PC which implies WMi. Microsoft knew this issue was large but did not want to create panic and lose money even though the cat was out of the bag so to speak. Further Windows updates to a given compromised PC were worthless in correcting the issue as previously installed updates could NOT be uninstalled. This shit is so nasty Dell will actually come out to your house and replace the motherboard as well as the memory. Don’t take my word for it, give Dell a call and simply provide them with the serial numbers of the infected laptops charging cord. This is how they determine a suspected vulnerable computer. If a match is found they will promptly come to your house to replace infected components. Why do you think they replace parts instead of just giving you a brand new machine.? I think it all comes down to money just like everything else. It is cheaper to replace parts. Plus fine print on warranties and what you agree to after receiving the new parts. And something that has bothered me a lot over the years, why not notify everyone who could possibly be identified with one of these PCs so they could be fixed? Because some people wouldn’t notice the difference while others would not only notice it but suffer serious harm and injury. In other words keep quiet and only assist people who notice issues and reach out for help.

To be continued…

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ebitchwriting · 11 months ago

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Dragged Into The Blood

Story Stummary: Never staying in one place for long, moving nearly every year, Lea Anderson was used to impermanence, chaos, and having to leave everything behind at the drop of a hat. Lea never expected that she would be kidnapped and wake up in a rusted, decrepit prison cell because of a madman's delusional belief in eugenics and cleansing the Earth of imperfection. By herself, with only the clothing on her back, she will have to rely on luck and logic to escape before she's killed or worse.

Chapter Summary: Finding Claire and Moira was a miracle in and of itself in this desolate abandoned building, Lea knows that. She should be grateful, she is grateful. But Lea's tenuous grasp on her inhuman abilities is already struggling far more than she wishes. Memories thought to be long gone struggling to push itself to the surface. Not that it matter, none of it matters. All that matters is that she escapes this hellhole before she becomes a worse monster than she already is.

Chapter Warnings: disassociation, blood, gore, death, unhealthy coping mechanisms

Well, it certainly has been a hot minute. Sorry for the late update; I swear I didn't abandon this story! Basically, the MA Apprenticeship program I'm in right now has been chaotic as fuck due to poor planning on the supervisor's end, I had to move back in with my dad, and I'm also finally making myself sit down and work on my manuscript for my epic fantasy novel(which is not Dragged Into The Blood adapted as an original work). I also noticed that despite my using Grammarly, several chapters here have several typos and grammatical errors that are driving me up the wall, so I've been going back through the chapters and fixing them(On Ao3 side). Luckily it seems only Ch1,2, 6, 7, 8, and 9 seem to suffer from that. Regardless, hope you enjoy this chapter!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.

Chapter 14: The Escape... Again

Lea's gaze glazed over from behind the sash, and all sound became indistinguishable. Just muffled, echoing nonsense, overlapping each other into static. Her mind felt foggy and empty, all except for the confirmation that despite her best efforts, she was yet again an experiment in someone's cruel game. Hands twitching, a slithering feeling growing more intense with every passing second. Breaths, short and rapid.

'… Nothing I did mattered…' The screeching of the rusted door opening fell on vacant ears as she stared at nothing, swaying in place.

Only when a hand tentatively brushed against her shoulder did she snap out of it, flinching back to reality and away from the foreign touch. Lea reflexively brought her hands up, ready for a fight, but stopped herself from grabbing the unknown hand and breaking it as she finally recognized the burgundy leather of Claire's jacket. Lea stole a glance up and saw the evident concern etched on her face. Lea shook her head, stepping back from the hand that started to inch back to her.

"I'm fine…" Lea grumbled under her breath, stepping back from Claire, shoulders still taut and tense. Bracing herself to be berated for acting like a child, told to grow up, and pushed endlessly to explain herself until she was desperate for an escape and ready to do whatever it took to be alone. To her surprise, despite Claire's worry, she didn't do any of that. She just nodded, gave her a reassuring but thin smile, and walked toward the door. From beneath the cloth wrapping, Lea's eyes widened, then narrowed, and Lea fought to hold in a growling hiss.

'… Why am I still surprised that not everyone acts like Dad…' Shaking her head, Lea strode forward, falling in line next to Moira, and followed Claire, decidedly not making eye contact and instead keeping her eyes trained on the decrepit building.

The metallic scent that Lea could practically taste and the bright, fresh red bloodstains immediately caught her attention. A pit fell in her stomach as her eyes followed how the trail led toward the only other path. Briefly closing her eyes, Lea strained her ears. Wet, rasping gasps, undoubtedly of someone struggling to hold in their sobs, reached her first. At the same time, Lea could pick up another's harsh, wet, and pained gasping, but it didn't sound like someone on the verge of death. By the choking sounds, it sounded more like they were struggling to calm down. The almost feral sound made the little hair that remained on the back of her neck stand straight. After concentrating on the sounds, Lea hissed under her breath as she realized that with the layout of the abandoned building, it was too difficult to tell where exactly they were or which was closer. All she could tell was that they were near.

Lea's gut twists further with dread after Clarie pushes the next door open, revealing a narrow hallway only briefly illuminated by the flickering light hanging by its wire. Oddly enough, though, there weren't any streaks of blood here. Unfortunately, however, as the three walked past the lone gurney, they found their path was blocked off by a fallen storage shelf.

"I think we can squeeze under this," Claire observed, walking up to the fallen shelf and gripping one side. "Give me a hand, Moira," Claire called out, and Lea awkwardly shifted in place, almost reaching a hand out but, in an instant, letting it fall. With a grunt, Claire lifted the shelf. "Go!" Claire called out as clearly and quietly as she could, her voice strained. Moira wasted no time in hurrying under, with Lea following past her.

As soon as they passed, Moira went to grab the edge of the shelf, keeping it upright. For a second time, Lea awkwardly shifted in place, wanting to reach out and do the heaving lifting herself, but a strong jolt of fear stopped her.

'… I don't know how she'll react… I don't want to be a monster…' Looking around, Lea saw yet another shelf blocked off the hallway. Without another thought or waiting for Claire, Lea approached it and started to push it forward.

"Lea, hold on," Lea heard Claire whisper-shout from behind her, quickly followed by the loud slamming sound of the shelf being let go. Lea winced at the volume, then lifted a hand to wave off Claire's concern.

"You two did the work last time. Let me-" Before Lea could finish what she was saying, a loud, ear-bleeding shriek pierced the ambient silence of the walkway. In an instant, Lea was on her back, using the shelf to shield herself from the person clambering and swiping at her. She could feel her heart thudding at the sight of what used to be a man in front of her. The flesh on his face was messily sewn back together, and the eyelids were sewn entirely shut. Massive iron nails protruded through the arms, which flailed around, trying to claw at her.

Then, just as suddenly, a knife slashes at the ruined arm. Once. Twice. Thrice. Then, the fourth time seems to finally register. The attacker practically leaped off the shelf, running back down around the corner. Lea stared at where it was, eyes glazed over and breathing short and rapid. She didn't protest as Claire gripped the edges of the shelf and took over, moving it forward.

"Oh my God, what the fuck?" Moira's words barely registered to her, muffled and sounding almost like they were a mile away as something started to sharply ring louder and louder. Lea's mind felt like it was turning to cotton, and her limbs seemed nailed to the ground. It wasn't until something nudged her that Lea was brought back to the present. A quick glance up, and she's met with the equally terrified and concerned gaze of Moira, still clutching the flashlight to her chest. With a shake of the head, Lea forces her heavy limbs to grab purchase and push herself back onto her feet.

"That was close," Claire's voice cuts through, out of breath yet surprisingly calm as she continues to push, the scrapping of the metal against the ground echoing in the eerie silence. The horrid noise finally stopped as the shelf met with the edge of a desk, opening a new path. "Come on, stay behind me." Claire called out, motioning them to follow. Neither Lea nor Moira complained about the order and fell in line.

Just as soon as they started to get close to the already wide-open creaking door, an ear-piercing scream broke the newfound silence, quickly followed by the deranged wails from the attacker. Claire wasted no time breaking out into a sprint, chasing after them. Moira and Lea shared a look before running after her, practically slipping as they bounded corners and ducked under fallen furniture.

"Holy shit, it's going to fucking kill her!" Moira shouted, mostly to herself, panting between each word as they followed Claire in her pursuit. The poor woman's terrified screams and the disturbing grunting of the butchered man still bounced off the walls.

In seemingly no time, Claire and Moira came to a screeching halt. Lea, however, realized far too late the barrier ahead and ran face-first into the steel bars. To her surprise, the contraption held up instead of crumpling or denting in.

'… Way to go… Just tell everyone in this fucking hellhole where we are… Fuckin' at least Chris taught me how not to run through walls…' Lea stepped back, a hand reaching up to hide her quickly reddening face and to block off whatever looks she was sure Claire and Moira were giving her.

Thankfully, without a word, the other two simply went up to the steel bars and grabbed the bottom. Within a moment, they were holding the security contraption up. Lea wasted no time going under and to the other side, and as soon as the other two joined her, they let go of the steel curtain. The contraption slams down, deafening the halls.

Shuffling steps. Wet and ragged gasps. The coppery stench of fresh blood. Then, out of the shadows and into the dim light came that poor woman, drenched in her own blood, with a tight grip on her torso as she limped forward. Lea watched in a dazed shock as she collapsed in Claire's arms, all strength leaving her limbs.

"The animal eyes! Oh God…" After a few more wet, rasping breaths, the woman went utterly still and silent. Dead. Lea stared at the woman, even when Claire laid her down gently.

Suddenly, it's as if Lea's no longer in the deteriorating building but elsewhere. She's no longer standing but lying on her back. Oh, so familiar yet alien images of an empty, sterile laboratory room flash in and out, darkness tinging the edges of her sight. It's like her limbs are covered in lead, cold and oppressing and constricting her lungs. Gasps echo in the abandoned room. As Lea turned her head, she was met with the gaunt face of a small child, dark-skinned, tight curls. Lea could see the light fade from her eyes, the rise and fall of her skeletal chest grow still, leaving her alone. A room of corpses. A soft sob escapes Lea's lips. She knew her, yet she didn't, and it felt like a hole was being ripped right in the center of her chest.

Just as suddenly as the memory came, it disappeared when a hand gently but firmly took hold of her shoulder. Lea flinched but stopped herself from darting off and away as her covered eyes met with Claire's carefully guarded yet distraught gaze, wet from held in tears.

'… It's just Claire… It doesn't matter… Just focus on getting out of here…'

"Sorry… let's just get a move on…" Lea muttered, stepping around the body, not sparing a look down. While her sight was slightly hazy and obscured by the cloth, it didn't block out nearly as much as the broken teen had thought. From the corner of her eye, she could see the other anxious girl send a look toward Claire. She gave Moira a small and almost unnoticeable nod before thankfully moving past the bloodied corpse and rounding the corner.

"I can hear the wind out there. This must be the way out." Moira spoke up. Her tone was hopeful this time, and her cadence hardly had any nervous tremors. Lea tilted her head, straining her ears to listen for what Moira picked up on. After a short moment, she could hear it, but from where and how far was the real question.

'… What the actual fuck is the point of this super hearing bullshit if it's absolutely useless in abandoned buildings…'

"I hope it's close…" Lea muttered, awkwardly shifting her head to look down at the ground, rubbing at her arms.

"We just need to find a way through," Claire reassured, voice gentle yet firm. She descended the staircase, covered with dried and fresh fragrant blood. After one flight of stairs, though, the group nearly froze at the sight of yet another relatively fresh corpse.

"What kind of whack-job… this is not ok!" Moira exclaimed, face scrunched up in disgust. Lea agreed wholeheartedly as she observed how the guard's throat was lacerated roughly and to the bone, and how he was hung by his feet. It reminded her of pigs butchered and hung to drain all the blood into buckets. Unfortunately, the dead body had something handy: a set of keys, a way out of this new hellscape.

Claire, nose scrunched up with disgust as well but paired with unsurprised eyes, calmly walked as close as she could to the edge of the walkway. Reaching out, she inched closer and closer to the hanging body. Lea watched with hushed breath, eyes darting from the glinting metal to the bloodied hands, back and forth. Just as Claire's fingertips brushed the edge of the largest key ring, a latch unlocked, and the body fell limply to the base with a loud and wet slam.

"Well, that blows."

"Are you fucking kidding me…"

A blaring noise fills the silence, the same one that sounded off before their cell doors slid open. All three snap their heads in the direction of it. At the end of the stairs was a door with a new glowing green light.

'… I'm so tired of these games…'

#dragged into the blood #original character #resident evil #resident evil revelations 2 #resident evil fanfiction #claire redfield #moira burton #don't expect too much activity the ice storm took my power #ao3 link #ao3 fanfic

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foolishle · 1 year ago

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Obsessed with this Baking Reality Show/Pride and Prejudice Destiel AU. It's like the peanut butter whiskey I have. It feels like it shouldn't work, but then you get a taste and it's almost offensively amazing and becomes all you can think about.

I love AUs. For SPN I read exclusively AUs because my familiarity with the source material is... close to zero? I watched like four or five episodes from somewhere in the middle.

And I love modern adaptions of Pride and Prejudice. I love discovering how the author updates the events and tackles the themes.

So these are things Iike? But I wouldn't have thought they'd... meld well? But they so do.

Making a modern adaption of Jane Austen is hard because in the modern day it's hard to justify why the characters would end up in the social situations they end up in. Setting the story on a reality show seems to work well for keeping the characters around each other and limiting their choices about who to socialise with. It's following P&P canon much more closely than I would have thought it could and I'm finding myself thinking "oh how will they do...? Oh! Of course! Perfect!"

It's not flawless--in some places the dedication to including Austen's dialogue feels clunky and out of place. In some cases it works beautifully but I think it's slightly overdone.

But where it works? Fucking incredible.

She makes a happy noise at having, finally, pulled an agreement from him, shares a pleased look with Mrs Hurst, and asks, “did you see the car he showed up in?” Meg’s smoke-rough voice is loud in the quiet of the room uncaring that she might be overheard by the subject of her observations.

“I don’t know how anyone could miss it,” Hester replies quickly, “covered in all that mud and dirt? Such a nasty loud old thing; I’d be ashamed to arrive anywhere in such a contraption aside from a scrap yard perhaps.” The sisters dissolve into fits of laughter and even Mr Hurst manages to summon a derisive snort. Castiel, however, remains stoically unmoved by the joke, to Meg’s disappointment.

The main criticism I have as far as the writing goes is the headhopping. While most of it is set 3rd person close on Dean, the Author's dedication to following the events and conversations of the novel means we headhop to Castiel, often mid-scene as Dean leaves the room. I think that the author probably should have gone with 3rd person omniscient, as the original does, or just stuck with 3rd person close on dean the whole time and sacrificing those scenes that aren't from Dean's POV.

But, to be honest, I'm too attached to Pride and Prejudice to really complain and some of my favourite exchanges are those where Dean isn't present.

I haven't finished the story yet--I've just gotten up to The First Proposal. I find that Modern Pride and Prejudice adaptions almost always let me down with Lydia's Fall and make Darcy into a white night who just wants Lizzy to be happy by solving a problem she has, instead of him realising how his past errors have contributed to Lydia's situation and trying to make up for that (and also hoping that it will ease Lizzy's suffering).

But the way that Wickham has been handled in the story so far makes me pretty confident that Castiel/Darcy will be making efforts to redeem himself by taking responsibility for his mistakes, rather than just using his power and influence to fix Dean's life.

Like I said earlier, my familiarity with SPN Canon is extremely limited, and while deeper knowledge of the characters would probably add to enjoyment of the story, it's not at all required IMHO. My familiarity with almost all of the side characters comes purely from other SPN AU fics. So I'm basically recommending this more to people who like modern P&P adaptions, than to people who like Destiel AUs.

#destiel #supernatural #pride and prejudice #fanfiction

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aprayerforclarity · 1 year ago

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9/18

I think it's so crazy. I think my approach to writing in general has changed so much in the almost month I haven't updated this tumblr. When I first started on this tumblr, I was doing a morning pages style with free association. I would try to get as many words as I could out as fast as I could write them. While I do think this can be a form of meditation and can maybe free myself of the fear of writing. I think I was approaching it in the wrong way. Just like with a typewriter or a pen, I feel like I need to take time between sentences to think about this. I need to know where to go with these things. Once again the fear of being a bad writer prevents me from starting, just like that of the programming. I think that both writing and programming are extremely scary to me because they don't really have all the answers waiting for me. They're both so abstract, and there's so many approaches to either on of them that I never really know if I'm doing it "right," I just know when I'm wrong, by either enummerable errors in vscode or that when I read something I've written, it just seems terrible to me. The victories don't really feel like victories when it comes to writing or programming. It just kind of feels like an eternal struggle, that I have to muster up the energy for each time I attempt either. Once again, I know life ebbs and flows, you feel so strong one week and then hopeless the others. I just have to keep trying to establish routines and rituals to carry me through. And as far as writing or programming goes, I think I need to find ways to make the victories feel like true victories instead of labored steps. But the question is, how? Instead of forcing myself into a routine, how can I make it feel good?? I mean, like when I started going to the gym, it was really a labor for quite a while, but now I do enjoy going to it, and my actions to go to the gym feel automatic, like it's just something I do in my week. Of course, when I get there it's sometimes really hard, but then I just make myself do the minimum that I've designed and get out feeling better. But it's the feeling better part that doesn't really happen with me in writing or programming. I feel like it's a chemical thing with lifting weights that makes me feel good, but how can I get that to happen with writing or programming? Does this mean that I shouldn't be doing either? That I'm averse to either of those things? I'm just not sure. It sometimes literally causes me psychic pain... It's why I avoid it at times. It feels like it hurts and the payoff is never really that great. Therefore my mind turns to other alternatives. In fact, I feel like I'm constantly distracting myself with other inputs.... subconsciously and even against my higher will. I guess I will pray to God and see if they will help me out of this. That's another thing too, I think I'm really starting to believe in god now. I came across a really interesting concept by a philosopher named Ken Wilbur, called the four quadrants of knowledge. The starting top left quadrant is that of personal, subjective reality. This is the realm of religion, spirituality, dreams. The next quadrant, the upper right, is the personal objective reality. This has to do with the physiology of your body, science and objective reality. The next quadrant is the bottom left, which is that of the collective, subjective reality. This has to do with culture, societal norms and values. The final quadrant is that of the objective collective reality. That has to do with the economy, and technology in society? To be honest, the last quadrant is the most confusing for me to understand.

Anyways, with this framework in mind, I feel like I've been spending way too much time in the second, upper-right quadrant. It has to do too much with the material, "objective" world. While yes, I do believe having a firm grasp of this is what our society values the most and it is extremely important to have an understanding of it, it is very devoid of what humanity really holds. Humans are obviously such spiritual creatures, and instead of me just dissecting that and dismissing all notions of that matter, I've come to realize how important it is to not only indulge in that kind of thinking, but truly listen to it...

I think growing up in the early 2000's where culture was really starting to become "self-aware" and therefore self-conscious makes me have this complex of laughing at things I deem "childish" and "imaginative." I also think that growing up in the church and becoming aware of the horrors it commits also makes me inclined to turn away more mystical thinking. But now, I think there really may be something to this... It is a realm I have really been neglecting. And it's not like I have to become religious or anything. This realm also has to do with my imagination, and giving it more room to breath and operate. I mean, that's where I have some of my best attitudes, is that I allow myself to be happy and have a carefree attitude towards things.

Anyways, I'm honestly already starting to feel better about writing in general. I think that it can really be freeing and focusing. I also took 75ml of lions mane extract today, and I do feel like that's having a concentration effect on me, and in the best way. I'm about to do more research on it, as well as the four-quadrants to get a better feeling on that forth and final quadrant. I'm also fearing doing the following things, so I'm going to write them out to expose myself into maybe making me do them:

Look into getting my haircut and styled so I can look good at Matt's wedding this weekend

Clean out my car

Clean up my room

Write Matt's wedding speech

Work on computer programming

Writing my book

(Not really scared of going to the gym, but I'm writing it down because I want to do it anyways)

Also, I kinda feel like I want to stop doing the tarot cards because they kinda scare me. I think I'm going to stop doing them for now until I feel better about them. I know the are in the first realm quadrant, but I think their mystical power literally scares me lol

Thank you everyone!!

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iraprince · 2 years ago

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oooh okay 1) your site concept + decor ideas r SO cute already and 2) do u have any recs for people who also want to learn html? whether theyre your own personal tips or like, 'this site has a rlly good breakdown of the basics' or w/e

1)thank u sm!!! and 2) yes!! neocities has a short/bare bones but very friendly tutorial when you first set up an account (hosted by a cartoon cat.) that you can complete in one sitting, and then after that (or instead of that) you can go to w3schools html + css tutorials and just kind of start doing them from the top. (you're going to find that you basically have to learn css at the same time that u learn html for most of the stuff you'd want to do on a website, but it's not so bad.) i've been slowly working my way through those, and googling stuff when i have specific questions about how to do stuff! beyond those basics, sadgrl.online is incredibly helpful and has a lot of guides + tutorials, plus just fun stuff that's specifically geared towards personalized websites/shrines.

also, start small and be patient. especially when we're used to super slick modern social media where everything is all rounded off and animated and shit, it's easy to get a box and a few lines of html up and feel, like... discouraged, or disappointed, like "i worked all afternoon on this and it looks like shit" -- but it doesn't!!! you cannot barf out a finished website in one day and you'll drive yourself nuts if you expect that of yourself, so get comfy with bare bones boxes and text and ugly little links for now. i have found myself getting way more frustrated if i decide i need to do 3000 complex things RIGHT NOW vs patiently building up things from bare bones, plus it's easier to build up more elements on top of something simple than to tear apart something where u got in over ur head and now u have to figure out why it's not working.

i also recommend trying out a dedicated code editing program like vscode rather than doing everything directly in whatever area you're finalizing/hosting things in. it's a drag to edit, save, clear your cache, load the website to check if it looks good, rinse and repeat -- i'm finding it way easier to try stuff in vscode paired with a live preview (i'm using this extension; it took a little fiddling to get it working bc i'm so new to all of it, but there are instructions on the page!) this way of working has been way easier for me; i'm sure other editors probably have something similar, but basically how this works is i have vscode up, then right next to it a browser window with my live preview in it, and every time i crtl+s to save my html in vscode the preview of the site updates. makes trial + error way faster and overall it makes the whole thing less intimidating!! (not everything in the preview will always work on the site, u will still have to troubleshoot and tweak stuff, but this way of doing it has still been way more enjoyable and streamlined for me overall.)

final note: i have literally only been doing this for like, two days! it's not easier than i expected, it's hard and confusing and slow, but it's been way less painful than i expected. you can do it!!!!!!!!

#tutorials #resources #i hope it doesnt look obnoxious for me to bold key points lol but im so prone to textwalls im starting to think it might be helpful

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khepiari · 2 years ago

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Hello, children of lusty void. I need to vent about censorship nonsense brewing up!

[first published as note on a fic of mine that has age gap and child marriage as the plot of romance, this here is an updated version of the author’s note for more people.]

Before the TiffnanyG election debacle, my OTP, and my fellow OTP fandom had been caught between pro-ship vs antis and the whole age gap is problematic idiocy.

Recently, I came across same problems on other fandoms where posts and accounts were created that have been exclusively targeting shippers, creators and consumers on Twitter and Instagram and Tumblr which have “problematic ship” dynamics namely characters with age gaps or have NSFW and other such things.

Look if you have faced bullying because of your ship preference, do not engage for your own mental well-being, report the account, share the account details with your fellow friends from the same ship fandom and do a mass reporting, and don't stop at that, send email to your respective social media companies and take screenshots at every step of it and keep it. In case you find no action has been taken, you can use the screenshots to make your case stronger when you re-report.

Shipping is a personal choice and no one has the right to ship-shame you, if these bullies can't distinguish between fiction and fictional characters and reality, then they are definitely in need of classes on critical reading and thinking. Please read this to understand what Proship means!

Fandom is meant to be a safe space you curate by your own choice where people with similar interest communicate, create, collaborate and fiction is the best way to explore one's ideas; sometimes those ideas can be cringy, problematic, vile or outright scary and that's okay and that’s why Dead Dove: Do Not Eat exists. Because we are channelling our ideas, thoughts and traumas and curiosities and thriving towards a path of self awareness with help of our fan art, fanfic, fic prompts, podfic, fmvs, amvs, animatics, songfic, character role-playing, cosplaying, writing threadfic or just engaging in speculative discussion or just vibing.

Thinking is not a crime, writing or creating creative work is not a crime. As long as you do not harm people in real life or practice the evil elements of your imagination in reality; you are fine as a person. Trust me; my mind is a wonderland of gore and angsty stories where I want characters to burn someone or declaw an animal for the story I am telling, and I have never gone and tied up a lover of mine with leather belts and poured burning liquid wax on them just because I imagined it and assumed it is a language of love, and I have many pets as well whom I will never hurt.

We should never shame shippers or fangirl, fanboys, fanperson for their OTP or headcanons, they are harming no one, if you don't like something, just ignore it!

Before ao3 existed, reading fanfics on Fanfiction dot net was playing a Russian Roulette. All the fics basically came with K, K+, T, M, MA, and it came with a warning Don’t Like it Don’t Read it! And then came the purge, overnight MA content was gone! And worse things happened, people stopped rating their insane stories! Instead of preventing people from reading triggering stuff with the rating, the rating system was used to censor people out and their work deleted!

Having Ao3’s tagging system is a privilege that has been built on years of trial and errors and loss of many stories! We are literally standing on a graveyard of purged and exiled stories! And it is a fanperson/fandom’s duty to make sure that you select your tags wisely and read the tags and story summary. Even after that, if people choose to violate the barricades put to protect them, why should the creators be blamed? [Read this]

And it is an awful and unhealthy attitude to engage with fanworks with so much hate, why would you waste your time hounding people of ships, ficwriters or fanartists you don't like? You cannot change the world with meanness. And how is sending CSEM (child sexual exploitation material) against Ao3 volunteers helping the cause of your protest?

I can understand why many of them oppose and demand content moderation, because of age difference, complicated and complex topics that need supervision and proper understanding before a person delves into them, and of course the NSFW stuff. First, they are fictional. Second, each creator changes or adds their own details in their creation.

Each writer can deal with age gap stories or any kind of topic the way they interpret it! Each artist will put their own twist to NSFW. Soulmate AUs sound loveliest, but they can be a horror story of about predestination vs free will! Yes, Soulmate AU horror story can make people uncomfortable because of the way it is written. Similarly, body possession trope can be a story of transition and self acceptance instead of presenting it as an invasion of body, or it can be written as a story of change!

Context brings clarity. Proship and Antis are by-product of same fandom. So how does these divides crop up? It is simple, people interpret things from different contextual standpoints. Many factors play role into the whole process of thought making; hence the terminology Thought Process. No two minds think the same because no two minds process the same information in the same way. Two people from the same fandom might come to a same fanfic; one for SMUT, while another comes to elongate the established emotional relation they have with the story. One can hate the fanfic for being NSFW and feel it is a corruption of their beloved story, and second others will love it for the NSFW because the OG Work didn’t have anything, and they wanted to read it. Both can be right and both can be wrong at the same time. Contextual reading/consumption is common, it is critically thinking and examining stories what makes aware brains. And by principle I am against censorship, because someone’s world view or imagined discomfort should not take away someone else’s right to express. Even if I don’t like a work of fiction, I will defend its existence. Words on paper [I mean all mediums] don’t hurt people, people hurt people.

Difference lies in how a story or art work is created, and if I had written a Soulmate AU Horror Story with tinted lenses, it definitely could be a read as a predatory story. I understand the concern about running into things that are “bad” in fiction! But not every work of fiction owes people comfort. We write the stories that we think needs to be told. Everyone has a right to be concerned, hence we think like this— “If we don’t let 10 years old into an A+ film in theatre, why should they be exposed to A+ stuff in words and artworks?”

Hence, the tags have been put up for better navigation. Hence, we have warnings and rating on Netflix screen when we turn on Squid Games. You cannot read a Mature story on Ao3 without consenting to read it. Many will argue —“But the trigger warnings and tags were not properly done.” No, you can’t expect every author to tag every possible thing that can trigger a reader. The trigger warnings are in place to give you a heads-up, a moment to understand what you are getting into, and should be used it as indication. No writer or creator wants to hurt you, we all write and create something because we love and want to share joy. How are people reacting to books in real life? Do you think Little Red Riding Hood should have a trigger warning for people with Lupophobia or Thanatophobia because Red Riding gets eaten by the wolf? And what about its rendition at the hands of Angela Carter, where beastiliy is written and printed in book form? Shape of Water has Monsterfucking, people knew about a monster from teaser, but not about the fucking. Like life, literature [including fanfics] are full of surprises, and we might not like many of them, it is part of growing up not just 16 turning 17 then 18, then 19; no you have to face shitty stuff your entire life because growing up is painful. And not liking something is a natural reaction, sometimes the dislike is overwhelming, and turns into rage and revulsion and yet you should not demand censorship!

Censorship kills creativity. If we give an inch to the voices of “but what about this and this group of people who suffered?” we open a crack to a system that is meant to preserve. The group who suffered, suffered at the hands of real physical people. A book murdered no one until it was held by a hand that saw it as a weapon, similarly reading/watching a “vile” fanfic or fanart could damage no one in real life, because there is no direct action and reaction that left consequences. Archive of Our Own is an ARCHIVE. It is meant to digitally preserve everything ever created in it, and slowly they are bringing in other fan works that are in danger of extinction as more and more people are capitalizing on the internet like it is real estate. And Ao3 was never meant to be the only fanspace! Tumblr used to be one, look what the purge did! When you implant censorship, you are pushing creators who are already marginalized to the extremes end of the internet. As Kis aka blow_me_a_kiss on Twitter said, Ao3 is not a business that needs a manager for people to complain about every time they run into things that don’t align with certain world views, it is a collective. This is how things and institutes and systems are meant to run publicly! You have to learn to curate your own reading/entertainment lists, and you really can’t appreciate the good without having your face slammed by the bad. Why should you or anyone need a pre-formed judgement about things they consume; reviews, kudos, comments, praises are all there to show what people felt after coming in contact with a creation, it is not a universally common experience! Hence, some people love Inception and hail it as masterpiece, while some people like me find it very basic storytelling. You have to have learn to face the bad! You must. Censorship is not about protecting the vulnerable! It never was, censorship has always been about exercising power over the vulnerable one. It takes a lot of courage and time for creators to present their beloved works to the world. Remember what happened to Isabal Fall? All she did was write a story, and people’s inbuilt fears and apprehensiveness turned into bullying which they projected on her, and she was forced to out herself! The same happened to Becky Albertalli author of Simon Vs The Homo Sapien Agenda.

I request you all not to engage with so much hate, I have been shipper/fanperson since I was 13 and been active on internet since 18! I began working on fics when my first ship was a rare pair, I am 29 today, and it is one of the biggest ships; biggest queer ships in my fandom!

Because of this OTP, I have made many friends and read amazing fictions and seen glorious fanarts and doujinshi and watch cosplayers do beautiful concept photography.

Please do not be mean and rude and do not bully people because you don't like something.

Death threats are not cool, they hurt, and can suck away a joy of participation from people. Even if the account you are bullying has an anime/manga image with no real name, there is a real person behind the screen.

Be kind.

Be fucking aggressively kind!

36 notes · View notes

flightfoot · 4 years ago

Text

Perspective From Another Timeline

Thanks to my betas @steelblaidd and Izzybusy!

I ADORE @buggachat new Bakery Enemies AU. This idea just kept on swirling through my head, I had to write it! This is set between parts 13 and 14, so after Adrien meets Alya and Nino but before Marinette starts sympathizing with him. AO3

---------

“You okay?”

Alya shook her head, trying to clear it. “I’ll be fine. I’ve weathered worse than that - we both have.”

Nino grinned at her. “True that.”

Alya smiled at him fondly, remembering Heroes Day. It was a bittersweet memory, with her having been turned against Nino and them both being akumatized.

But they had fought to protect each other as best they could. She’d seen Prime Queen’s footage, how Carapace had struggled to get her to fight against Dark Cupid’s magic, how he’d only given into despair after she’d given into akumatization.

“What did that blast do to us?” Nino wondered. “Everyone else the akuma blasted just disappeared. Why’re we still here?”

Alya’s brow furrowed. “I dunno… hold on, let me check to see whether any new info on the akuma’s been uploaded.”

Pulling out her phone, she tapped on the Akuma News Alert app.

An error message popped up, telling her that she had no internet connection.

Puzzled, Alya checked her phone’s other settings.

No wifi - no wifi even recognized, much less connectable - no cell service, no connection to the outside world at all.

She glanced over at Nino. “Hey, you got any signal?”

Taking out his own phone, he quickly checked his connection. He shook his head. “Not a single bar.”

Frowning, Alya looked around. “Maybe all the cell towers were taken out?”

Everything looked intact though, no sign of any destruction at all.

Something else caught Alya’s eye. “Hey Nino, what time should it be?”

Nino blinked. “Well I mean lunch just started so it should be a little past noon-”

He glanced around, noticing the long shadows and the pinkish-orange of the evening sky.

“-which it clearly is not anymore,” he concluded.

Great. “Guess Ladybug and Chat Noir must’ve taken a while to defeat the akuma,” she said, putting her phone away. “Hopefully my parents aren’t too worried. They like me to text them just after an akuma attack, but right now…?” she gestured to her pocket.

“My folks aren’t as worried,” Nino said. “But they still expect me back home before the sun goes down. They’ll be getting nervous soon.”

Alya let out a small sigh. “So much for playing Super Penguino together.”

“Hmmm…” Nino’s eyes gleamed. “You know… it’s not night just yet. And I’m sure my parents would understand if I was a few minutes late because I grabbed a bite to eat.”

Grabbed a bite to eat? What was Nino hinting at…?

Alya looked around at their location more closely.

Wait… that blast seemed to have carried them to that one park, the one near-

Alya grinned. “I think my parents will forgive me for not calling in if I bring them fresh-baked treats from the best bakery in Paris.”

---

*ring ring*

The scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the store.

Instantly Alya felt her shoulders loosen up, releasing tension she didn’t even know she’d had. There was just something so warm and comforting about the bakery.

Of course, a lot of that was due to the people running it. Good luck finding more friendly, caring people than Marinette’s parents. Sabine often checked up on anyone who seemed to be struggling or upset (and ready to protect them if they were - Alya had seen the video of the time a TV crew decided to invade Marinette’s privacy), and Tom was basically a giant teddy bear in human form.

But neither of them were manning the counter today.

Instead a young woman stared back at them.

A very familiar-looking young woman.

“Marinette?” Alya asked cautiously.

The woman stared at her for a minute. “Alya?” she finally asked. “What happened to you?” She paled. “Did a new supervillain attack? Is that why you and Nino are younger?”

Huh. Weirdly scared reaction from Marinette. They’d all gotten used to supervillains by now. She’d expect an older Marinette to take them in stride even more than the current Marinette.

Hm… an older Marinette, a different time of day, and Marinette not seeming to know about the latest akuma attack?

“Marinette… what year is it?”

Marinette blinked for a moment. Her eyes widened.

Seemed Marinette understood what she was getting at.

She told Alya the date.

Her hunch was right. “We’re in the future,” Alya breathed.

A wicked grin slowly spread over her face.

Five years was a long time. A lot of things could have happened. A lot of information could’ve come to light.

Like Hawkmoth’s identity.

Or more information on the Miraculous.

But most importantly right now-

She leaned in close to Marinette, making sure to keep her voice down, just in case someone else was around in the back. “So did you ever get together with a certain blond-haired, green-eyed model?”

“Uh… what?” Marinette asked, looking puzzled.

Alya snapped her fingers. “Adrien. Did you and Adrien finally get together? Ooooh, if you did you’ve GOTTA tell me how the confession went! Or, no, wait, don’t tell me, I want to get the deets at the time. Just let me know how long I’ve got to wait, girl!”

Marinette just stared at her, slack-jawed. “Adrien… like ADRIEN AGRESTE?!” she said, her volume rising with every word.

Alya’s eyebrows flew up. “Um… yes…?”

She’d thought that Marinette would be glowing about finally getting together with her crush, or dejected about still not being able to spit out what she wanted to say to him, downcast over him rejecting her, or maybe even infuriated because he mistreated her and they subsequently broke up.

(The last one was VERY unlikely though. After the Felix debacle, she’d learned to have a bit more faith in Adrien’s good nature.)

Shock at the concept of dating him? Not something she’d anticipated.

Footsteps echoed from behind Marinette.

So one of Marinette’s parents must’ve been in the back-

Adrien popped his head around the corner.

Seemed both he AND Marinette had aged well.

Not that Adrien looked all that different. Taller, definitely, maybe with slightly messier hair and… were those earrings? They looked good on him.

“Hey dude!” Nino waved at his best friend. “What’s up?”

“Uh…” Adrien said, scratching the back of his neck.

“WOW those outfits really take the years off, huh?” Marinette said loudly, shoving them out the door. “Make you look smaller than usual. Well we better go talk about plans later okaybye-”

She promptly slammed the door behind them, physically pushing them away from the bakery.

After Marinette had dragged them a good distance away, Alya finally got over her shock, turning around and glaring at her. “What was that about?!” she asked Marinette indignantly, hands on her hips. “You know me, I wasn’t going to spill anything to him. That’s why I was talking so quietly! Why’d you have to do that?!”

Nino frowned, seeming more concerned than annoyed. “Adrien looked really hurt by that. Not cool.”

“There’s nothing to spill!” Marinette protested, gesticulating wildly. “I only met him for the first time two days ago!”

*record scratch*

Two-

Two DAYS ago?!

Ok, hold up.

“Adrien joined our collège class the day after I did! He sits in front of you in class! What’re you TALKING about?!”

“Uh… no…?” Marinette tilted her head to the side, befuddled. “I think I would remember that, even if it was a few years back.”

Alya let out a bark of laughter. “Yeah, no kidding. He would be uh, difficult for you to forget. Heck, even if your memory was erased, you’ve got so much stuff revolving around him, I couldn’t see that lasting long.”

Marinette blushed. “Why do you think I have a crush on him?! He’s HAWKMOTH’S SON!”

“WHAT?!” Alya and Nino yelled in unison.

“Ladybug and Chat Noir defeated Hawkmoth a couple years ago,” Marinette explained, pulling out her phone.

A moment later she held it up, showing a blog post from the Ladyblog.

Oooh, that’s a nice graphical design. I’ll have to look into updating my site, Alya thought.

Turning her attention to the picture, she squinted. “Hey, can you enlarge the photo?” She asked.

Marinette complied, enlarging it and turning her phone sideways, letting it fill the entire screen.

Gabriel Agreste being led away in handcuffs by the police, with Ladybug and Chat Noir in the background. Ladybug looked satisfied, with maybe a twinge of melancholy, but Chat Noir…

He stared vacantly ahead, seemingly not focused on anyone or anything, a smile on his face - but the most forced one she’d ever seen.

“What’s wrong with Chat Noir?”

Marinette frowned, looking troubled. “I don’t know. He seemed really, really upset when Hawkmoth was defeated. It was a tough battle, bad enough that neither of them have returned since, but that doesn’t explain why-”

She trailed off, lost in thought.

A moment later she looked up, meeting Alya’s eyes.

Immediately she waved her hands around, trying to ward off… something. “I- I mean, that’s what I read on the Ladyblog and what I could piece together from video footage, it’s not like I was there, NOPE. I was huddled in my room the entire time. Not like I have any insight into what Chat Noir was acting like during the battle, not beyond what any other civilian would know! That would be ridiculous, utterly ridiculous!” she let out a few forced guffaws.

Alya’s eyebrows flew up.

O...Kay…?

Maybe Marinette had been following Ladybug and Chat Noir during the final battle and hadn’t wanted anyone to know? She’d wondered whether Marinette might have a thing for Chat Noir, but her crush on Adrien dwarfed any feelings she might have had for him. Plus it’s not like Marinette would actually know Chat Noir, unlike Adrien.

Thinking about Adrien…

“He must’ve been devastated,” she murmured. Marinette looked at her questioningly. “Adrien, I mean,” Alya clarified. “Having your father turn out to be a terrorist? I can’t even imagine.”

Marinette buried her face in her hands. “Not you TOO,” she said, her voice muffled.

Nino slowly started edging his way behind Marinette.

“What’s your problem with Adrien?” Alya asked. “Did he do something?”

Marinette glanced away. “Not… exactly… I just… I’m afraid that it might all be an act. That he might’ve been helping Hawkmoth secretly, and… and even if he wasn’t before, that he might just be biding his time, waiting until he figures out who Ladybug and Chat Noir and then BAM!” she slammed her fist down on her other hand. “He takes them out, steals all the Miraculous, frees his father and rules Paris FOREVER!”

Alya reached out towards Marinette tentatively. She collapsed into Alya’s arms.

Hugging her tightly, she sang a soft nonsense song, rubbing small circles in Marinette’s back.

She’d done this a few other times since she’d met Marinette, though she’d never thought she’d do it underneath these circumstances.

Whatever these circumstances actually were.

Did everyone have amnesia or…?

“Do you have any big memory gaps?” Alya asked once Marinette’s breathing had calmed down. “Especially from five years ago?”

Marinette shook her head.

She’d shelve that theory for now then. More likely it was…

“An alternate timeline, huh?” Alya said.

Marinette looked up at her questioningly.

“That’s what I think this is,” Alya explained. “I WAS thinking that maybe there’d been some sort of mass amnesia, but if you don’t have any memory gaps - and trust me girl, with how involved you were with Adrien, there WOULD be memory gaps - that seems unlikely. I’m betting this is some sort of alternate universe, one where Adrien never got to go to school.”

“I still don’t get why you think there’s something between me and Adrien!” Marinette said. “I mean sure, he’s pretty, but did I really fall for him just for that?”

Alya shook her head. “Actually, you hated him at first. Chloe’d been bragging about how he was her friend, and with that on top of you catching him trying to remove the gum Chloe’d planted on your seat and mistaking it for him PLANTING the gum… well… both of us just assumed he was a spoiled rich bully, just like Chloe. Luckily that turned out not to be the case.”

“How’d that misunderstanding get cleared up?” Marinette asked. “And how did your Marinette jump from that to crushing on him?”

Alya grinned. Marinette had ranted about this moment to her SO. MANY. TIMES.

“School let out later that day. It was raining and Marinette had forgotten her umbrella, so she hung back a moment, long enough for Adrien to approach her. At first she looked away from him, not wanting to acknowledge his greeting. But then he told you - told her I mean - that he hadn’t done it, promised that he’d just been trying to take it off with such sincerity that she had no choice but to believe it. He opened up to her, even though she’d been shunning him just moments ago. And finally he gave her his umbrella, just because he could. Because it was the kind thing to do. She’s been a goner ever since.”

The Marinette in her arms looked away. “I can see why she might have developed a crush on him. But I still dunno whether I trust him.”

“I don’t know whether I have anything that could convince you on that,” Alya admitted, “especially since this is probably a different timeline, and for all I know he could be evil here. Just make sure that you’re judging him on his own merits, okay? Not who he’s associated with. Not his fault he has so many crappy people in his life.”

“I’ll… take it under consideration,” Marinette said reluctantly.

Marinette looked from side to side. “Where’d Nino go?”

“Oh, he snuck back into the bakery several minutes ago.”

“WHAT?!”

---

Nino opened the door to the bakery, letting out a small sigh of relief. He really wanted to check in on his best friend, and judging by Marinette’s behavior, she wasn’t exactly keen on him or Alya chatting with Adrien.

Thinking back on what he’d just heard, he frowned.

He wished he could say that he’d never have suspected that Gabriel was Hawkmoth.

That he didn’t think Adrien’s old man could ever be capable of such evil.

But he knew better.

The guy threatened to withdraw Adrien from school and isolate him from everyone else at the drop of a hat, paid little attention to his son when he was at home, and was a very negative influence on his life in general. He might have been grieving, but… so was Adrien. He needed the only parent he had left.

And instead Gabriel had chosen to respond by becoming a supervillain and terrorizing Paris, endangering his own son in the process.

He really wished he’d gotten to hit Hawkmoth with his turtle shield more. At least he got to relish the smack he got in.

“You’re back!”

Nino looked towards the voice.

Adrien walked closer to him, a tentative grin on his face. “I didn’t think you’d return so soon!”

“I had to come back to talk to my best friend,” Nino said.

“Best friend?” Adrien asked, blank-faced.

Oh, right. According to Marinette, Adrien hadn’t joined their class. She hadn’t even met Adrien until recently.

Had some sort of memory-wiping akuma attacked? Wouldn’t have been the first time.

“Do you know who I am?” Nino asked, pointing at himself.

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh… well I know you’re friends with the Ladyblogger and Marinette, and… sorry, that’s it.”

He looked really apologetic, like a dog who’d ripped up a bunch of toilet paper and acted guilty about it once caught.

Hm. If it had been a memory-erasing akuma, maybe he could jog Adrien’s memory…?

And even if it wasn’t, he wanted to let Adrien know that someplace, somewhere, people cared about him. If Marinette’s reaction to him was any indication, he’d need that reassurance. Being looked at with suspicion, having people run from you just because of who your dad was, thinking that you might’ve been involved in his crimes… he couldn’t imagine.

“You joined our class the day after Hawkmoth first attacked,” Nino told him, pulling out his phone.

Adrien shook his head, looking confused. “Uh… no? I wanted to, I REALLY wanted to go to school, but Father-”

He cut himself off, looking away.

“Marinette said the same thing,” Nino told him. “That you hadn’t enrolled in our class, that she’d only met you recently. I don't know what that’s about, whether everyone’s memories were wiped, or an akuma messed with the past, or what.”

Come on, come on, where was it- ah!

He clicked on a photo, one taken a few months ago, holding his phone up so his friend could get a better look.

Adrien squinted for a moment. His eyes widened. “That’s-!”

Nino nodded. “Our class photo. The official one, anyway.” He chuckled. “I liked our unofficial ones better.” Swiping to the side, he showed the new ones the class had taken at the park.

Adrien’s jaw dropped more with every new photo. He let out an involuntary bark of laughter at the one of himself, Nino, Kim, and Juleka posing. “I- I always wanted to mess around like that at photoshoots,” Adrien said. His voice trembled slightly. “But I wouldn’t be able to get away with it. And that’s mostly fun when you can share it with friends, at least share the picture, and I- I couldn’t. Chloe wouldn’t have appreciated it, and L-”

He cut himself off, shaking his head.

“Luka?” Nino asked.

He didn’t know why Adrien would know Luka and not anybody else, but he seemed the most likely option.

“Uh…” Adrien scratched the back of his neck, looking away.

Hm, he’d have to see if he had- ah!

“You played in Kitty Section too, with Luka, Rose, Ivan, and Juleka.” Nino explained, clicking on the video.

Adrien’s hands shook as Nino handed him the phone, watching the mini-concert.

“I- I was allowed to- I got to-” Adrien’s voice quavered.

“Not at first.” Nino grimaced, remembering how bummed Adrien had sounded when he called him. “Your old man said that Agrestes were soloists, and that we were all bad influences.”

“HE was the bad influence,” Adrien said. A current of anger, of venom ran through his voice that Nino had never heard before.

“Well I already knew that, even before finding out he was Hawkmoth,” Nino said, making a face. “Dude needed to chill out.”

Adrien snorted. “If he had any ‘chill’ he wouldn’t have decided that becoming a supervillain was the best way to heal my mother.”

Oh.

So THAT was why Gabriel had done it.

He’d just thought it was standard ‘I’m an asshole and want to rule the world while being a jackass to everyone in my life’ behavior.

(He still wasn’t going to rule out that being a factor.)

Nino put a hand on Adrien’s shoulder sympathetically. “At least he’s gone now and you’re free, right?”

“Right,” Adrien said. He didn’t meet Nino’s eyes.

“Not you TOO,” Marinette had said, burying her face in her hands.

As if she found it exasperating that Alya sympathized with Adrien. As if she had expected differently.

Those worries she’d voiced as Nino had been tiptoeing away, about Adrien helping Hawkmoth, about him lying in wait, biding his time… Marinette probably wasn’t the only one to have that concern. And with Adrien’s face being as well-known as it was...

“You AREN’T free, are you?” Nino asked, eyes wide.

Adrien sighed. “I was as surprised as everyone else when I found out who Hawkmoth was. That someone who’s caused that much harm, that much trauma to this city, lived in my own house.” He clenched his fists, digging into his jean’s fabric. “I could barely believe it… no… I didn’t WANT to believe it.”

He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “I- I only remember snippets from right after his arrest. The police chief talking to me. Riding back to the station. It’s all a blur. Everything felt like I was processing it underwater. It was all so blurry and muffled. Even- even then, though, I could feel everyone’s accusing stares.” “I understand why, don’t get me wrong,” he cut in hurriedly. “Who wouldn’t be suspicious of the son of the terrorist who’s been making everyone’s life miserable for the past four years?” Adrien almost panted with exertion, his eyes wild. “And- and it was happening in my own house! Underneath my nose! I should have KNOWN! I could’ve stopped this!”

Reaching out, Nino pulled his friend into a hug.

Adrien stiffened for a moment, before melting into his embrace.

“It’s his fault, not yours,” Nino murmured. “Remember that, dude. He was the adult. He was your parent. Your ONLY remaining parent. I’ve met the guy. And I’ve heard you talk about what he’s like. If you had investigated more?” Nino shuddered, thinking about the disproportionate punishments the bastard had enacted. “And knowing he was HAWKMOTH on top of that? I’m kinda glad you didn’t. Yeah, maybe you could’ve ended things sooner. Or maybe he would’ve hurt you more before you had the chance. I’m just glad you survived.”

“I-” Adrien’s throat sounded tight. “I’m- I’m glad I survived too.”

They stood there for a moment, Nino feeling Adrien’s breath go in-and-out, his heartbeat racing, until it gradually started to slow.

*ring ring*

Adrien and Nino broke up their hug just as Marinette burst through the door, Alya on her heels. She skidded to a halt in front of Adrien - but not quite in time, sending her careening towards the floor.

She never made contact.

“Woah!” Adrien shouted, catching her in his arms.

Nino detected a hint of pink to Marinette’s cheeks before she abruptly sprang to her feet.

“So, uh,” Marinette said awkwardly. “I’m guessing Nino talked to you about some stuff. I mean, of course he talked to you about stuff, because that’s what talking is about. What- what I mean is, what were you two talking about?”

“I wanted to show him how much we care about him,” Nino told her. “Especially since with this… amnesia?”

“I think it’s an alternate timeline,” Alya said.

“Especially since in this timeline,” Nino continued, “it really doesn’t seem like he had anyone.”

“I had a couple other friends,” Adrien told him quietly, giving a melancholic smile. “But I lost contact with them right after Hawkmoth’s defeat.”

Noticing Nino’s frown, he hastily added, “they didn’t abandon me or anything! They were online friends. One moved somewhere without internet reception, and the other... we never knew each other’s names. But we talked all the time. We chatted, laughed, defeated villains together…”

“In the video games we played, of course!” he added after a moment. He chuckled fondly. “We played as a team. Together, we were unstoppable, no matter what our opponent threw at us.”

Adrien swallowed. “But in the aftermath of Hawkmoth’s defeat, with all the turmoil, with everything that happened… I lost my means of contacting her. I- I don’t know whether I’ll ever get to see her again.”

“We’d promised to meet up after Hawkmoth’s defeat,” Adrien said. His voice cracked. “That- that once it was safer in Paris, we’d finally tell our names.”

His eyes dropped to the ground. “Instead, we lost each other. Maybe for good.”

“I know what that’s like,” Marinette said. She sounded strangely distant. “I had a friend like that too. I cared about him. A lot. Maybe… maybe even as more than a friend.” She said the last part haltingly, as if she’d only just admitted it to herself. “He- he wanted to know who I was. For me to know who he was. But- but I couldn’t do that. Not in Hawkmoth’s Paris. I already cared for him so much it ached. If I was closer to him than that- if I’d accepted his rose- I’m- I’m afraid Hawkmoth might’ve used the strength of those feelings against me. That I could’ve gotten akumatized, or he might’ve, and if we knew who each other was, knew WHERE the other one was… I just… I couldn’t accept that we might be sent to hurt each other.”

“We talked while the final battle was raging,” she continued. “He seemed really upset, more angry than I’ve ever seen him before, but… also kind of sad. I wanted to know what was wrong, but there wasn’t really time to press him. And after that battle he just… disappeared. I knew there was going to be some sort of disruption, but- but I’d thought we’d have more time to talk beforehand, that we’d be able to exchange new contact information. We were cut off before we had the chance.”

“I- I think of him every day,” she said quietly. “Wondering how he’s doing. He was always so positive, no matter what life threw at us. I hope that wherever he is, whatever he’s doing, he hasn’t lost that positivity, that optimism, the ability to see the best in the world and in others.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to know you cared for him so much,” Adrien said, giving her a warm smile.

Marinette blinked, giving herself a small shake. She turned to Alya. “I dunno whether you’ll remember any of this after the Ladybug in your time restores anything, but on the off-chance you do, is there anything you need to know?”

“Oh!” Alya pulled up some footage. “You told me who Hawkmoth was, but what about Mayura?”

“Mayura?”

“Who?”

Alya snapped her fingers. “You know, the Peacock Miraculous wielder, the one summoning the sentimonsters! Did she not exist in this universe?”

She pulled up part of the fight against Mayura, the sentimonster Ladybug, and Hawkmoth.

The video ended, she took another glance at Marinette and Adrien.

Marinette seemed to be in shock, staring straight ahead.

Adrien frowned, thinking. “I’d wondered for a long time how Father managed to hide his supervillain activities from Nathalie, considering she was around him most of the time. I thought maybe she was just really good at never asking questions.”

He grimaced. “Looking at that? I’m betting she didn’t ask questions because she already knew the answers.”

“You think Mayura’s Nathalie?” Alya questioned.

He nodded. “Unless something’s different in your universe. My father doesn’t have a lot of associates, and the way he acted around Mayura there, how he was willing to pass up a chance to fight Ladybug for her Miraculous in exchange for catching her… the only people I can think of who he’d do that for are my mother and Nathalie, and mom…” he trailed off.

“I- I didn’t even think about that,” Marinette said guiltily. “I remember reading something about Gabriel having a secretary, but I didn’t think about her much beyond that.”

“Maybe you could ask this universe’s Alya to post something on the Ladyblog, telling Ladybug and Chat Noir she has a lead on who Mayura is?” Alya said. “I mean, I know they haven’t shown up in ages, but maybe that’s just because they haven’t had reason to.”

Marinette winced. “I… really don’t think that’s it… plus Ladybug and Chat Noir never said that someone was helping Hawkmoth. Mayura never appeared, at least in public. I don’t know what we can do about this right now, especially without proof. Maybe if Ladybug and Chat Noir appeared, but…”

She sounded doubtful. Alya was beginning to think that the final battle was even worse than Marinette had alluded to.

She hesitated a moment, before turning to Adrien. “I- I think I owe you an apology. I thought you might’ve been helping Hawkmoth, but… well… I was just judging you by who your dad was. You’ve been nothing but sweet and kind.”

Adrien smiled at her, though it was slightly strained. “It’s fine. I’m used to it. A lot of people in this city have suffered at Hawkmoth’s hands. I don’t blame them for being scared, or angry at any reminders of him.”

“That doesn’t make it RIGHT,” Marinette said heatedly.

Nino nodded. “Dude just because something’s done to you it doesn’t mean it’s justified, or that it shouldn’t be made better. Like with your old man forbidding parties. I didn’t let that stop me from bribing your bodyguard into letting me and the other guys throw a party at your place for you!”

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “It kinda escalated though. I think half the guys at Paris were partying in your room by the end!”

Alya gave Nino a sideways look. “And ONLY the guys because they ditched us girls while we were planting trees with a lame excuse. Seriously if you’d said you wanted to throw a party for Adrien while his dad was away, you could’ve just told us!”

Nino winced. “Yeah, my bad. At least we got to have fun there for a while before the akuma attack.”

“Akuma attack?” Adrien asked, eyes wide. “But I thought you said Father was gone!”

“He was- OOOOOOOH.”

“Yeeaaaah I don’t think he was actually gone,” Alya said. “You threw a ‘secret’ party in Hawkmoth’s house, WHILE he was still at home.”

Adrien gaped at Nino. “How’re you not DEAD?!”

Nino chuckled. “Lucky I guess?”

*twinkle twinkle*

A familiar red mass flew towards Alya and Nino.

Adrien’s eyes widened.

“Behind the portrait!” he blurted out, just as the two of them were enveloped by the ladybugs, spiriting them off to whence they came.

It was silent for a moment.

“Do you think they heard?” Adrien asked Marinette.

“I hope so,” she said, looking off in the direction the ladybugs flew.

She turned to him. “I was planning on setting up some hang out time with Alya and Nino later this week. If you’re not busy… would you like to join?”

His smile told her everything she needed to know.

#bakery enemies au #ml fanfic #miraculous ladybug #adrien agreste #alya cesaire #nino lahiffe #marinette dupain cheng #buggachat

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