#like why in the hell is daemon asking the woman that's drugging him for help?? he is not that dumb

[mynerathemystic]

the show writers really hate rhaenyra and daemon.

this season they've written rhaenyra as an indecisive and insecure queen that plays into all of the stereotypes men typically spout about female rulers. she talks herself into circles and complains about not being able to do anything while people like jace, mysaria, and baela have to encourage her to move forward.

then they've got daemon stuck in harenhal having nightmares about all the people he's let down in pursuit of his own supposed personal interest in the throne.

and they have both rhaenyra AND daemon openly admit they believe that bs about daemon only wanting the throne is what ultimately led him to pursue rhaenyra!

where is all the loyalty, love, and devotion from season 1? there is a way to write conflict between two characters without having them lose complete trust in each other and instead, find comfort in the arms of other people??

[ffxivash]

Curse of the clueless

Thoughts ran around in his head, again it was complicated, he was lost not knowing how he should feel, or what he should be doing with himself. There was progress when they spoke to Loivoix, Lucerna seemed to be able to pull herself back from the abyss. As long as she wanted to fight, he would find some way to help.

The tuna tenderloin was rolled in the pepper crust, the actions more automated than anything he had to think about, he had to have made it hundreds of times. Though he was not paying attention when he put the full loin on the hot pan. There was down sides to having such a creative genius mind, the racing thoughts was one of the bigger drawbacks.

He didn’t hear Laplace Daemon come down the steps, his own mind lost in the sea of thoughts.

"Ash? Where's uh..." There was a brief pause, “...where's Lucerna? Asleep, I take it?"

An ear flicked, as her voice cut through the thoughts racing around his brain. “Perhaps…” A shrug left him not entirely sure why she was asking him about Lucerna’s state. He left her in professor Loivoix’s room. He looked at the tuna, more than he could eat portion of food, he accidentally cooked. "Want some tuna, pepper crusted."

There was a clear look of confusion on her face, making Ash wonder if he spoke in the correct language. "...Sure. I was hungry anyway, and I don't mind tuna." Laplace finally answered.

One problem solved, he took down another plate and started making the salad of sprouts, arugula and baby biter leaves that would help offset the pepper sweetness of the tuna. He also was not able to have a good meal with out some carbs, so two pieces of thick bread found a waiting skillet. “I felt, we made progress tonight.”

One of Lap’s eyebrows go up as she watched him. "With Lucerna? I think so too, poor girl. I hope she can learn to forgive herself someday..." Laplace crossed her arms, gently shook her head. "...It's a good thing she has you though. Maybe you two can figure things out." He caught a glimpse of Laplace smiling as she spoke again. "Lucerna is a sweetheart at her core, even if she'll never admit that now. I think she just needs to be supported, and maybe that can be coaxed out. Or so I like to think, but I'm no professor."

"She isn’t going to forgive herself." It was a fact in his mind, he had at least been paying attention during the emotional chats he had with Lucerna in the recent past. The tenderloin was off the heat now and he buttered the slices of bread. "It’s what defines her, how she lives with herself and what happened."

The woman heaves a deep sigh, “Perhaps not, but a girl can hope for it all the same. What of you, Ash? How do you feel?" Laplace asked while he worked on getting the toast on to a small side plate for himself. "About this, I mean. You said you didn't like feeling helpless back in there, so I know you care, at least."

There was a lot he could have said, some of it danced around his brain for a moment. "It’s complicated. Just don't push your hopes on her, or get upset when they don't workout." Sound advice that would save anyone frustration when dealing with a survivor’s recovery. A sharp clean knife cut slices of the pepper crusted tuna, placing them around the two undressed salads. "I want her to be free, to make her own choices. The same thing everyone wants I assume." He handed her the plate of food right after sprinkling the salad with some light dressing.

Taking it with a grateful smile she started to talk as she followed him to the bar to sit. "And here I thought I was just having a sandwich when I came down here." He heard her laugh softly before continuing. "I know what you're saying, though. I'd had no intention of pushing things. I just worry for her, is all. When she said what she did yestersun when we got out of there.”

He could see her color drain some as she shook her head. “She ran right off a cliff, apparently. Lucerna is…” her words faltered, “... I consider her my best friend. I want her to be free as well, but I'd also like it if she could smile for herself, if only a bit. Perhaps it won't happen but I will keep hoping."

Reaching for the iced water he took a drink like it was whiskey on the rocks. The pain that he felt at the words, suicide was an unfortunate reality in the castrum. Not everyone can do the things he had done, and live with themselves. "We will see.. " He let it drift off some as he held his water. "One day at a time, there will be days like this, were things seem to fall backwards. Hearing her say she wants to be free, gives me some hope." Lifting his glass before he was truly done talking, his words of self deprecation lost to it.

Taking the next stool, Laplace had a gentle smile, despite the dark circles around her eyes. The natural empathy Ash possessed, told him she was in a good mood. "Yeah, that made me hopeful too." There was a pause as she peered at him while he was eating. "Forgive me, am I bothering you?"

Looking over he paused clearly unsure why she would ask such a thing. Though seeing her shovel the food in to her mouth, he was not sure if she would be able to clarify without choking. So he guessed, “No, not at all. Just beating myself up some.”

Mouth wide as she was about to devour another fork full of tuna and salad, her cheeks suddenly went red. In a flurry she suddenly corrected herself, correcting her posture and dabbing her lips with the napkin, Trying to perhaps pretend she was not eating like a hungry wolf at the table. “The tuna, it's really good, you're a fine cook."

Standing she went off to get herself a glass of water was she spoke. "Regardless, what are you beating yourself up for? If you don't mind my asking. You seemed to do a hell of a lot more for her this sun than anyone else, barring perhaps the Professor."

"I can cook a very few things well." He corrected as he cut a piece of tuna in half. Then he ate it between thoughts, enjoying the fish before became cold. "I, never was great with people. I… I feel clumsy when it comes to things like this.”

Laplace simply shook her head as she sat back down. "She's a grown woman. She has her struggles but..." Lap bit into a bit of salad she'd caught on her fork, and quickly deals with it. "...ultimately, you want her to make her own choices, right? You two already have pet names for each other."

Something skipped a gear in his head and he just stared at her, before repeating the words like they were in some foreign language. “Pet names…” Blinking some as if trying to command his brain to reboot. “It’s, like inspiration, not umm…” Nope process failed and that was all he was able to say.

Her red eyes just looked at him for a long moment before her shoulders started to tremble, and the giggles escaped her in a sudden fit. "You call her 'Dove', and she calls you 'Brave', Ash!" The giggles were not done yet, continuing to interrupting her sentence. “You two are cute together, you know? She was melting into your arms earlier, it was the sweetest thing I've seen in moons."

It was not really registering what she was getting at, though she seemed amused by it. “Ummm…” He lifted his fork and ate another slice of the tuna, no higher thinking needed for the action.

Laughter now as as she fought to speak. "Forgive me, forgive me. I could ill resist the opportunity, but I mean it, you two get on well." Ash watched Laplace go back to eating and seemingly done with confusing him further. It was odd, but at the same time familiar, to be apart of a joke he had no knowledge of. Like perhaps someone placed a ‘filthy savage’ sign on his back, and every one was laughing, while he was oblivious. “It seemed to help.” His ears were pink while his moon touched gray cheeks did a good job of hiding the warmth he was feeling. “Better than doing nothing, right?” He truly sounded unsure, as if he was waiting for her to take the sign from his back, and reveal the joke.

Shaking her head she went to speak again still holding the fork ready to attack the food. "I wasn't saying it was a bad thing, not at all! On the contrary really, Lucerna, I know she responds really well to physical contact. I don't know why she's like that, but when she's uncertain, or when she's upset, she seems to calm down if she's hugged, or even if her hand is held." The last remains of her plate were eaten before she continued. "Hells, even when she seems to be having bad dreams. While she was recovering, after that Highlander drugged her, she seemed to calm a bit when someone was with her."

Peering over at him she had a smile on her face as she once again spoke. "Call me presumptuous, but I think she wants you to be the one to hold her hand in those times. If how she was leaning into you in Loivoix's room was anything to go by, at any rate."

Panic, yes, that is what he was suddenly feeling, though he racked his brain to figure out why. “I overstepped my place…” Looking away from Laplace he looked at what was left on his plate. “I’m new here, and should have not leaped in like I did."

Her head was shaking in his peripheral vision. "You're thinking too hard, Ash." There was a small break in her words for a sigh. "Think less about your 'place' here and more about what you want out of life. Forgive me for saying this, but, your job here in this Free Company, isn't your entire life. It doesn't need to control you."

There was some relief in the change of subject, less focus on the joke. "It's what I’m good at, and nobody's getting hurt by what I'm doing." He picked at what was left of his food. "Place, rank, order, it is like a first language, a good default.” He tried to explain between bites. “I also teach at the orphanage, seeing I know what it is like to not have anyone or anything. I want them to have opportunities, without being swept up by the Empire." Looking over at Laplace his ear flicked some, perhaps finding one of the sources of her confusion. "You do know I’ve only been out of a uniform for a year and a half? Of that I’ve only been here, a moon or so." Saving her from explanation that he spent most of that first year being a hermit, and scavenging, before being manipulated by a psychopath.

Some understanding as she shook her head, no she didn’t know. "I didn't know that, but I do now, forgive me.” A small apologetic smile filled the air between thoughts. "I suppose I can understand, though. T'would be like me, trying to shake myself out of a huntress' mindset. It's my default." "If you'll bear my prattling a bit longer, I think you should chase what you want. Do what comes naturally sometimes. Like that hug she needed that, I think, but I won't lecture you further. You say you teach at an orphanage? I didn't know that, either. Would you tell me a bit about them?"

The thought of the children brought a small smile to his face. "I won't turn away advice, though not sure if I will follow it. I think people are making this out to be more than it is." He had hoped to spare Lucerna from the teasing.

Laplace chuckled at that. "I'll not fluster you further, not tonight at least."

His plate was at least clear now, "They are all so thirsty to know everything, innocent even the ones who are the most hurt. I, have a hard time remembering myself like them. I teach science, once a sennight we do something practical outside, a space to safely experiment. It has been a tad taxing they do not understand what happens when I... when I have to step away."

There was a brief moment of silence as she listened. "Step away for visions, I take it? I... Well, perhaps they need not know." Ash could see her grimace, likely remembering the one time she had witnessed him having a vision. "Sorry, 'tis hardly my business, but, I would simply tell them you have regular migraines.”

"That is what I have said, the head mistress seems to be forgiving, and my lessons are not a main focus of the cas… orphanage.” The Imperial terminology was likely going to haunt him for the rest of his days.

“Ah, but I digress. I'm glad you have something you enjoy. Ash, if I may offer a light suggestion?"

There was a pause as he waited for her suggestion. "If they're in Eorzea, perhaps bring them to Lucerna's restaurant sometime? There's apparently magitek-based games there, it could be a fun way of showing them different uses for science."

He was not going to over step his boundaries there. “They are in Gardenia, though I'm not…” Shaking his head some. “... it is not really my place. Though I may make something like it, perhaps something that helps them understand how things relate to each other.. " His words drifted off as he thought about a couple of visuals that could help with his lessons, including some basic problem solving games. He felt his mood sink some, he had a full time job, and one on the side. "A lot of ideas not a lot of time."

He could see she understood, likely faced similar problems herself. "I see, I misunderstood, forgive me."

Did she think he ran an orphanage? A year and change away from the empire, where did she think he would find the time. Also he was not going to tell her that he was not legally in Eorzea, the Alliance had no idea he was there, and he had no intention of telling them.

"If you ever decide to pursue that idea though, to create something similar, I'd like to see what you come up with." She gave a light smile as she got to her feet. "Much as I'd love to chat all eve. I fear my lack of rest since last eve is beginning to take its toll, and I feel my body telling me it's finally willing to sleep.” “If you ever need help chasing those ideas of yours Ash, try and remember you've got friends now, alright? People who will help you." Turning she made her way up the steps with a few parting words. "Take care, Ash. Thanks for the tuna, I'll repay the favor sometime."

"Rest well. After this turn around, I will likely also see how much sleep I can get." There was a small wave before he picked up the dishes and went to the kitchen to clean them. The racing thoughts were at least more organized now, and now he was able to focus. Though he was not looking forward to the nightmares, the memories of people who had ended their own lives, were already trying to get a hold.

[freevoidman]

All of the questions form the ask except for 16 and 17 because I read the tags 😏😊

yoU FUCK--

Also I guess it’s 15 and 16 bc those are the ones that ask for pics? So ur getting everything but those two instead lmao I can’t read.

1. Song of the year?

Thunderstruck by 2CELLOS (skip ahead to 0:38 for the start of the music, 1:10 for the actual cover). It’s a great cover for a famous song and i’m a sucker for cello-only covers. Plus, it’s a great song to listen to when you want to get some of ur aggression out.

2. Album of the year?

The Persona 5 Original Soundtrack! There’s so much amazing songs from the game, all of them jazzy and catchy and oh my god I love the entire thing. The stuff featuring Lyn’s vocals is especially great!

3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year?

Hm... there’s not a lot that come to mind, but I guess BTS? I’m not super into their music, and I don’t check out their livestreams and shit where they talk with fans, but their music is pretty sweet!

4. Movie of the year?

UUUUUUUUUUUUUGGH it has to be a tie between IT and Wonder Woman. IT was great on a sheer talent level and, after watching the 90s film, it was a massive improvement and gave the book the justice it deserved. However, Wonder Woman I appreciate because of the hopeful change it might bring to the movie industry and superhero movies, and perhaps lead to less over-sexualization of women in movies.

5. TV show of the year?

Nothing really comes to mind (especially because I don’t really watch TV a lot) but it’d have to be Brooklyn 99. Comedic gold at its finest, and the level of representation is NUTS! I love it!

6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

...y’all’re gonna laugh but it’s fucking Shibboleth from West Wing. We watched the episode in one of my classes and it brought up so much political topical stuff that’s happening in my country, as well as the sheer ridiculousness of what the fuck is happening in the US (as well as unintentional attachments that can form bc I made a stupid level of those with just fictional characters lmao)

7. Favorite actor of the year?

Finn Wolfhard. Not only for his level of talent in Stranger Things and IT, but also just his level of comedic genius outside of films and shows. He’s great, and I can’t wait to see where his talents will lead him next.

8. Game of the year?

WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS.

I’d have to give it to Persona 5, though Breath of the Wild and Final Fantasy XV are close. The reason why P5 wins is because I’ve been waiting for this games since 2013 and it delivered on everything I wanted. Meanwhile, BOTW and FFXV were only purchased after they came out and I saw all the reviews, or (in the case of FFXV) was and impulse buy that I didn’t have much faith in. They’re both great games, don’t get me wrong, but my god, Persona 5 delivered of fucking everything I wanted and a bit more.

9. Best month for you this year?

December (and no, I’m not just saying that because that’s the month we’re in). I’ve been accepted into the colleges I really wanted to be accepted into, and Christmas wasn’t that bad. Though I am sick with something right now, it’s definitely not a bad month, and easily the best one I’ve had with all the stress/disappointments of the months prior.

10. Something that made you cry this year?

...getting a bit personal, it was seeing my cousin during Easter. She’s been struggling with drugs and she had a relapse and was completely out of it. She’s got a kid. I was mad as hell and ready to punch her, but I just kind of broke down outside the house once no one could see me.

11. Something you want to do again next year?

...uuuuuhhh I didn’t really do it this year bc of the amount of shit I had to do, but I really, really want to do NaNoWriMo again. It was fun, and I nearly succeeded last year. I was about two thousand words short because I got sick and I want to get the 50k word count for something!

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

YES HELLO I’M ABOUT TO PRAISE THE HELL OUT OF @yoitssabrinee SO PREPARE YOURSELVES.

Honestly such a sweetheart???? She’s a-fucking-mazing and so strong despite all the bullshit she’s gone through and she’s so freaking nice and caring! Like, I’ve been complaining to her about how I’ve been sick and she’s always like “did you take your meds? Did you drink water? Did you eat?” And it’s so nice and even if our convos are mostly screaming at each other about FFXV fanfics we’re writing it’s SUCH A JOY to see her messages whenever I wake up/am about to go to sleep.

13. How was your birthday this year?

Good! The only negative part was that it was during a school day (typically it falls on Thanksgiving break, but not this year) and I got a lotta good gifts! I certainly can’t complain about it, that’s for sure.

14. Favorite book you read this year?

Catcher in the Rye. It’s very rare that I find a school book that I enjoy, and this hits all my favorite things. It’s a super introspective look on Holden’s life (which is pretty messed up tbh) and his struggles to reconcile with his flaws and the need to be somewhat ‘normal’.

15. What’s a bad habit you picked up this year?

Sort of a bad habit that I’ve continued and haven’t stopped--picking at my skin. Especially scabs and any chapped skin on my lips. I have so many cuts and scars from doing this, and I really need to stop... 

18. A memorable meal this year?

I went with my family to some fancy-ass Japanese restaurant with my friend irl before we went to see Hamilton. The food there was tasty as hell, and the experience itself made it incredibly memorable.

19. What’re you excited about for next year?

There’s a couple! Getting my driving license, graduating high school, and going to college would definitely be at the top of that list! For more material things, I’m looking forward to Hacker’s Memory, the new Persona rhythm games (I’m being very hopeful that they’ll be released in English around the same time of their Japanese versions) and Final Fantasy Dissidia!

20. What’s something you learned this year?

How to drive!

21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year?

My old swingset broke. I still use it as a way to destress (the repetitive motion of swinging, combined with listening to music really clams me down) and there’s no way we can really repair it until it gets warmer... which could be as early as February, or as late as April, considering the weather patterns. Basically, it has to be above freezing to do anything.

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Boston for college tours! It was a great city, though I could’ve dealt with less stress from trying to figure out where the fuck to go...

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

It’s hard right now. God do I know how hard it is right now. It’s gonna get harder. You’re going to hate everyone for a while, because no one really helped you the way you needed help, but you’ll make it. I promise you’ll make it.

24. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions?

Technically yes, because I didn’t make any. Can’t break any resolutions if you never make ‘em.

25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one

Uuuuugh I have a lot that I just make in my head, but because I have the artistic skills of a drunk goldfish I can’t typically draw them, and I’m too nervous to write about them (^^;). Other people can keep asking this one, and I’ll describe a different OC that I have, but only in my head, y’know?

I DID get FFXV Comrades and made an OC! His name is Tonitus, Tony for short. He’s 5′3″ and hails from... Altissia, if I remember correctly. He has about mid-length black hair and bright, that almost Mako-colored blue eyes. 

In my weird-ass lore about the guy, he’s a messenger who got amnesia from falling to the surface. He’s loyal to Ramuh and can harness lightning magic easily, and struggles with fire and ice magic. He got the Kingsglaive uniform from Ramuh himself, who sent him down to Eos to assist the humans with the encroaching darkness and rampant daemons and infected wildlife. As he regains his memory, he’s torn with assisting them like a human would or like a pseudo-god, and his own mortality and how he’ll deal with everyone passing long before him, long before the light can be restored, long before the King can ascend.