#like why do i have to become the ultimate strategist just to make sure i don't smear blood all over my buttcrack

[grumpytrans]

whoever invented pooping while on your period can go to hell

[nishiannoya]

ᴄᴏᴠᴇᴛ sᴀɴᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

18+ Only - MDNI

well I never planned on writing for Genshin, but since I couldn't find an in universe Thoma smut fic, I wrote my own. also for @gg9183 🤍

thoma x f!reader, did not proofread, not really slow burn but you have to read to get to the smut, pwp, pwf, lightly possessive, dry humping, slight angst, hint at aether x ayaka, some spoilers for the inazuma arc, (3.97k wc)

Perhaps it's because you come from a small clan, living a life closer to that of a commoner than what one would expect of a family in power, but you always come to the Kamisato estate with a critical eye. It's not that you don't like your meetings with Ayaka (a roundabout plan by your parents to raise the clan's status in hopes that one day she'd have the pull to suggest to her older brother that he marry you), but the perfection you observe makes you wary. They could try to hide it with their immaculately clean halls and rooms, or Ayaka's drilled manners, but you know that nothing is perfect.

Certainly the housekeeper they call Thoma is no exception to this knowledge.

However, despite your reservation to believe in perfection, the blond foreigner has yet to prove he's anything but so. He seems to be friends with just about everybody, and all that know him do nothing but revere him for his skills as a housekeeper and business negotiator. He's kind in a genuine way, and you can't find a hint of hidden motive behind the offers of his hand to help you up or down any stairs, running after you with an umbrella if it rains on your journey back home, or his jacket if he catches a hint of a chill in the air.

Oh, and he's handsome too.

As the case may be, he is an exception and he really is perfect. And almighty archon, is it ever so annoying.

But you know you should not concern yourself with agonizing and irritating thoughts of Thoma's perfection. You know the real reason you've been cultivating familiarity with the Kamisato clan is for none other than the man himself, Kamisato Ayato. You've only been introduced and had quick greetings before he'd retreat to take care of his duties with the Yashiro Commission. He's handsome as well, sharing the same genteel beauty as his sister. You wonder if the suggestion he marry someone from such a clan as yours would even be suitable. He's supposedly a fearsome fighter and strategist, and perhaps would be better suited for the Kujou clan's military general daughter.

At the very least, you like to think that your friendship with Ayaka is meaningful enough to give your clan a stronger voice when you eventually take over one day. Back when you were kids, you were only allowed to converse through a screen divider, making your visits a little awkward. However, with the years, she was finally able to meet you face to face, and though shy and reserved at first, you've noticed in the last year or so that she's become more relaxed and excitable.

"Excuse me if this is uncouth. I couldn't possibly talk to Thoma about this, but I-" the icy-haired girl fumbles around uncharacteristically with her words one day over tea at the estate. "I was wondering you had any experience with, um, love."

The inquiry throws you off and makes your brain go wild with the thought of why she would be asking, and ultimately who she could be seeking advice on. Thoma is the only one who comes mind, seeing that they spend a considerable amount of time together and he dotes on her with the same kindness he shows to everybody - if you were her age, you'd also be charmed. You take a deep breath, mentally composing a respectable response.

"I'm afraid I don't know much when it comes to romance, other than the stories," you admit as you nervously take a sip of tea. You do know a little more than you're willing to let on, but you're not sure what would be appropriate to share. Certainly you've found people attractive, but never enough to distract yourself from your duties as the future head of your clan. However, Ayaka is a few years younger than you, any normal teenager would begin to think of such things in a serious manner. "If may be so bold as to ask, why?"

Her cheeks turn an endearing shade of pink as she lets her gaze fall to her hands in her lap.

"I made a friend recently. Perhaps you have heard of the traveler who helped to end the vision hunt decree," Ayaka answers shyly.

Your mouth hangs open just a bit before turning into a smile at the revelation. The esteemed Ayaka-dono falling for a foreign traveler? This is very exciting news.

"And you're in love with him?" You exclaim, although not too loudly, knowing that Thoma and some others are right outside the room.

"No! I mean, he and I are friends. He helped me learn more about my mother, and we also went to the festival together, and after-" She cuts herself off.

"And after?" You prod. This is the most she's ever opened up to you, and the topic is quite stimulating.

"We, um, shared an intimate moment."

You go silent, eyelids pulled back high in shock. You find it hard to even blink, but you manage to at least clear your throat and not drop your tea cup.

"By intimate, you mean like, kissing?" You ask, hoping for nothing worse of an answer.

"Eh?! No, no! K-Kiss? I meant- Not kissing! Th-That's- We- I just-" She stammers in embarrassment and covers her face with a fan.

The conversation must have gotten a little loud, because the door slides open to reveal Thoma looking in. You meet his stare. For a split second, you notice that it lacks the usual lightness, but quickly a bright smile takes over when he asks, "Can I get you two anything?"

"We're fine Thoma," Ayaka tells him as she lowers her fan, quickly putting on her usual demeanor with impressive turnaround.

"Well if that's the case, my lady," he says turning towards you. "Your room is prepared for your stay. Might you accompany me to help you settle in?"

It's not unusual for him to ask, being too considerate to move a lady's things without her being present. Ayaka nods toward you as if to say she'll find you later to continue your discussion. Before you can even shift to stand up, Thoma is by your side offering his hand. Again, nothing unusual, but there's something in the back of your mind that tells you to be more on guard. You take his hand though, and rise to your feet, bowing towards Ayaka who gives you a small smile.

Thoma offers his arm to you as you walk through the expansive estate. He's talkative as per normal, pointing out the new artwork from Liyue now that trade restrictions are starting to lift, and chatting about how they're expecting more foreign visitors in Ritou. It's hard not to marvel at the well kept grounds at his doing, and you wonder if there truly is a future for you live in such a perfect place.

You feel comfortable at his side, walking arm in arm like this, even if there is something keeping you a little on edge. The split second look he gave you when he interrupted your conversation with Ayaka makes your throat feel strange when you think about it. But he seems relaxed and carefree as he recounts a his most recent run in with a tanuki, and you find yourself more at ease and giggle at his story.

"Here we are! Same room as usual, though we finally got enough silk in to have new sheets and pillowcases made," he says as he opens the door for you. There is a sense a familiarity, coming to stay here a few times a year since your early teens. Though but a guest room, it's nearly as big as some of the homes in your village. It's conflicting, feeling so appreciative and admiring of the work done to accommodate you, yet also knowing that there are people you know with so little. Still, you can't help but to run your fingers over the fine silk and imagine sinking into the softness come nighttime.

You thank him for making such arrangements for your stay, but insist that the previous Sumerian cotton was more fine than anything you're used to.

"One good night's rest under these sheets and you'll never want to sleep in anything else," he insists.

"Then I cannot allow myself to get used to it," you say cheekily, and seat yourself on the soft mattress, smoothing the high quality materials of the duvet.

"You will have to if you are to marry Lord Ayato."

The words cut the lightness in the air, and suddenly that strange feeling is back from how he looked at you earlier.

"I am not inclined to be expectant of such an offer," you say, turning your head away. Part of it is true, though you know that it's also the whole reason for your visits.

"Who's to say you shouldn't be? You have Lady Ayaka's favor," he tells you in earnest, though his tone changes when he continues, "And you have mine as well."

You go warm at his words, though he means it not as flattery, but as fact. It's no secret that despite being a housekeeper, he is Lord Ayato's closest friend. Thoma's good word has just as much power as Ayaka's in this regard.

"I've done nothing but let my family impose my presence to earn such favor," you state, still refusing to look his way.

You can hear the rustle of his clothes as he takes a step towards you. Your eyes slowly trail over to him, though you can't bear to look at his face.

"We host dozens of others with the same intentions, though none quite like you. You don't seek luxury, in fact, I don't think you like it all that much. But you have a strong connection and sense of duty to your people," he says and your eyes shoot up to meet his.

You've never felt so seen than under the softness in his green eyes. Something heavy sits in your throat, rendering you unable to respond to his analysis.

"Lady Ayaka senses this as well. I don't think she would have opened up to you in such a way if she didn't."

"You were-" You go to call him out for eavesdropping, but he stops you.

"I'm glad she has another friend in you. Just," he sighs, "Just be easy with her if she brings up the traveler again."

You harden your stare at him now. Now you understand the look he had given you when he intruded. You know the reason behind the concern, but-

"Just because she's an ojou-sama doesn't mean she isn't allowed to have a crush," you state plainly. You're not nearly as high of status, but you understand the position she's in, what's expected of her, and how it's humanly impossible to fight the way she must truly feel.

"I didn't mean-" He starts to defend himself, but you quickly stand up and take a step towards him, making him back up.

"Can't a girl fantasize? We already have to sacrifice our desires, our spirits, our freedom just for being born into our positions. Is it so much to be a little selfish and think about love for ourselves?" You lament as you keep moving towards him until he's backed into the wall. He meets your hard gaze, his eyes quickly taking in your expression. He seems taken aback, yet there's an understanding as he reads you.

"But you wouldn't know anything about being selfish: Thoma the kind. Thoma the chivalrous. Thoma the magnanimous," you say almost tauntingly as you relent your stance and move back to allow him the air. Of course someone like him wouldn't be able to relate-

"You're wrong."

Your heart stops at the staunchness in his voice. In all your years, you've never heard him speak with such roughness. He takes a long stride away from the wall and back into your space, the usual softness in his face replaced with something darker. There's still a hint of his usual playfulness, but something about his demeanor sends a chill up your spine.

"I'm envious. I could be selfish, too," he tells you without breaking his eyes from yours. He doesn't stop his movement towards you. You step back. He steps forward again. Again, and again until the back of your knees hit the bed. He doesn't stop, looming closer to your face until you're forced to sit, and still, he does not stop.

"I want to be selfish," he declares in a low voice.

He finally halts just an inch away from his nose touching yours. Your breath moves fast and heavy through your chest, speeding up the accumulation of heat taking over your body. Though just as you start to lean up towards him, he pulls away.

"Sorry, I-"

"Show me," you say in a small voice, almost like a plea as you pinch his jacket to keep him getting further.

"I shouldn't. You're- I'm-" He hesitates, still the dutiful Thoma after all.

You give a light tug, beckoning him closer. His sight drops to your lips, and finds himself locked into your gravity.

"Be selfish," you permit, the words ghosting his parted lips.

And he submits. Claiming your lips for himself, he slots into you, taking in a moment to connect with you in such a way. His knee slides up onto the bed and next to your hip as he grabs the sides of your face, pulling you and pushing himself closer and closer until you have to wrap your arms around him to stay upright - A futile effort, as he leans into you more, dipping his tongue into your mouth and brushing the tip against yours. You fall back on the bed, bringing him flush against you as you continue your heated kiss, enjoying this feeling being trapped between him and the mattress.

He moans into your mouth, making you whimper as your hips squirm beneath his weight. You've never felt anything quite like this. The books you've read have always described kissing as something sweet and sacred, but this- this feels much more frantic, like you need so much more. Thoma's thumbs brush against your cheeks as he moans into you again before pulling back.

"We should-"

But you don't let him speak, pulling him by the jacket back to your lips and greedily chasing his tongue with yours. Your knees wiggle out from under him, drawing your legs out to hook around his thighs and squeeze his lower half closer to you.

"Mmmph!" He groans and forces himself to stop kissing you, much to your annoyance. He struggles against your pleas for more, breath fast and heavy as he stares at you closely.

"We can't. I can't," he says, though you know that's not what he wants.

"I told you: show me. Show me more," you demand, moving your hands to tangle in his golden hair and loosening the tie that holds it back. Your fingertips graze through his roots, making his eyes flutter shut at the sensation.

He drops his head to the side of yours, breath rousing the sensitive skin of your neck and heating up your ear. You feel his lips brush against the lobe, and you squeeze your legs just a little tighter around him.

"I won't be able to stop," he says right into your ear, the waves of his voice sending a tremor all the way down to your core. You gasp, arching your chest to him as you grip into his hair.

"Then don't. Please, just this once."

You want to tell him to be selfish again, but there's no need. He lifts himself up, and you realize just how much heat you've generated between the two of you when the air hits you. Perhaps a result of his Vision, but your body feels like a forest catching fire, slowly building more and more until it's unbearable. He must be feeling it too when he strips off his jacket and peels off the black shirt beneath, giving you a front row view of his lean muscular body, arms and shoulders defined by his work with the polearm. He drops his belt and leather tasset, and throws off his gloves, leaving him just in his pants when he leans back down to kiss you again.

Surely you've seen men bathing and frolicking in the rivers before, but you've never been so close to one so bare. Your arms encircle him when he settles his bare chest against yours, lost in the savor of your lips. His skin is smooth and smells of ginger scented soap when his kisses trail down your chin and to your neck. You gasp at the torturously pleasurable jolts you get when his tongue teases your pulse, exposing more of the vulnerable skin to him as you bury your face to his shoulder. Your fingertips grip into the muscles of his back, desperately clinging on as you let the heat consume you.

You whimper his name over and over, encouraging him to give you more of whatever this is. You're no stranger to touching yourself at night, but your own fingers have never felt anything quite like his hips settled between your legs, moving the hardness in his pants against your barely covered sex that's been nearly exposed by the shifting of your robes. Your own hips move as well, seeking pressure and rousing on that one spot that makes your voice come up high and airy.

"Does it feel good?" Thoma asks against your collarbone, pulling at the gap between your robes to expose more skin.

"Yes," you rasp as his lips get closer to the valley of your breasts.

"Can I?" He tugs more at the opening of your robe.

You shut your eyes, feeling shy, but wanting more of what he's giving. You utter your consent and cover your face with your hands when he pulls apart the fabric and reveals your bare chest to him. He makes a throaty sound and runs his hands down the sides of your sternum, thumbs brushing over your nipples in passing, making you gasp and shiver. He does this again and again until you're whimpering and writhing beneath him, and ultimately settles his hands to continually roll your buds under his thumbs.

Eventually, desire and pleasure takes over your shyness, and you drop your hands in favor of once again tangling themselves in his hair. Your fingers move fervently through his loosened locks, knocking his headband off place until he takes a second to fling it to the side. He looks down at you for a moment, blonde hair wild and pushed around, showing a little bit of his forehead to you for the first time. Your cheeks go impossibly warmer at the sight.

"You're beautiful," you say with a light smile, and giggle when his green eyes change from drunk and heavy, to wide in surprise.

"I should be saying that to you first," he says back, matching your smile. His gaze softens and he move his face to kiss you again, though cut short when he speaks again.

"Can I be even more selfish with you?"

You nod, wanting nothing more.

He smothers his face into your neck and molds his body to yours, taking a moment to memorize this feeling.

"Even if we just pretend," he whispers and trails off, a little apprehensive as to what he'll say next. You stroke his hair to coax him into saying whatever prehensile thing he has on his mind.

"Don't marry my lord," he tells you. "Don't marry anyone."

Your heart swells and thumps at the plea. You squeeze him with your arms and kiss the top of his head sweetly.

"Okay," you agree quietly.

"Be mine. Just be mine," he mutters and presses his nose even harder into your skin.

"All yours," you assure him and continue to run gentle touches up and down his spine. He inhales long and deep, then shifts to hover above your again. Sincere green eyes study your face as you stare back at him, a silent understanding passing in the intentional and meaningful look.

Then he indulges, letting his head drop down to your chest, taking one of your sensitive pebbled nipples between his lips. Your mouth falls open, unable to hold back the breathy moans as flashes of need sear your core. He teases the other bud between his fingertips, and you swear your body might break from how much you're trembling from the tightness in your belly. Your legs kick and squirm around his thighs, feverishly searching for relief by rubbing your aching clit on his hardon in his pants.

His name comes out in strings from your lips, begging for something that you're not quite sure of but he has you believing in. Your eyes roll and flutter with each flick of his tongue and jolt of his hips against you. You grab at his back, stifling him into your chest as he sucks even harder at your teat.

He fights your hold to come up for a breath, but instantly dives back into kiss you. He shifts his body, and finally you find that sweet reprieve you had been so desperately seeking. His hips rut against you, moving in rhythm with yours as you stimulate yourself on his hard, covered cock. The friction has you whining and begging muffled pleas into his mouth, though he's also using your kiss to suppress his own voice.

He groans into you, tongue messily teasing yours. The pace of his hips pick up, grinding himself against the heat between your legs. Both of you tremble and heave. You can feel the head of his cock straining through his paints and catching against your swollen, aching nub.

"Thoma, p-please. Something is- If you keep moving like that," you stutter between moans.

"Gonna cum for me? Please cum for me. Gonna make me cum too," he huffs and moves his hips even faster, determined to hear you cry out even more.

"I think- Ohhh! Oh!"

You don't know what's coming, but when it does come, you know. Your eyes screw shut, your own hips jerking up to meet his and ride out your peak, shockwaves of ecstacy rippling through you again and again with the friction of your movements. He lets out something between a grunt and a growl, shoving his face back into the crook of your neck as a sticky wetness soaks your underwear. His body shudders against yours, making you whimper from the sensitivity and his hot breath at your skin.

Eventually, he relaxes his weight onto you, placing a light kiss to your neck without moving his head. He's a little heavy, but it feels nice. Your hold on him lightens, though you still keep your arms around him, and return his affection with a kiss to his forehead.

"I like the selfish side of you," you mutter softly, breaking the quiet afterglow.

"I can be worse, you know," he says, voice a little groggy.

You believe him, smiling to yourself when you tell him, "You'll have to show me."

He lifts his head to kiss your lips, only breaking to say, "When you're all mine, for real."

"When I'm all yours," you promise.

You both are tired from the experience. Some time passes by before you move to lay on the bed properly. The Liyuese silk feels just as Thoma had described, though your head seems to much prefer the comfort of his chest than the luxurious down pillow. He sleepily strokes your hair and murmurs sweetness on your crown. There will be out-turns to follow this yield to desire, but right now, everything is perfect and for once, you're okay with that.

[racco]

Hey! How are you? I was wondering if you could do some headcanon about kayn in a relationship with zed's daughter? You can keep it sfw or add some nsfw (if you're confortable with it of course) have a great day!

Kayn x zed daughter! reader headcanons

Hi sorry for being inactive, it's hard to find inspiration for writing, I'll go through more requests eventually, also sorry no nsfw hc this time, I was drained after I finished writing this, maybe another time

Meeting him:

☆You and kayn met at the order of shadow, when zed brought him in you had not started training yet, zed wanted to settle in and make sure he has a safe place to protect his kid before he would start some training

☆Zed wanted you to watch him and kayn when they first started training, eventually this would go on for weeks. After enough time zed allowed you to join as well, you finally had a chance to talk to this shy kid your age too.

☆Although as years went by Zed started to separate you when training, he had more dangerous missions for Kayn and especially when rhaast corrupted him Zed wanted to keep him away

☆ Zed would only focus his training with you in mind becoming strategist, you, his daughter, would of course become the next order of the shadow ruler, but by then Zed would have made his order strong enough to not have his only child in danger fighting on the field , you shall only guide them of course and they shall respect you .

☆Kayn thought he wouldn't mind not seeing you this much, but truly you were one of the only people his age he could maybe even call a friend. But at the same time Kayn knew he was destind for something greater, he knew he will beat rhasst and become the ultimate weapon himself.

☆ Not being with kayn made everything so boring, most were scared of you or jealous for being so higher up in the order and not having to work for it by risking your life everyday

☆Whenever you could you would try to search for him or anything to do, until one night you were wondering through the halls and noticed punches being heard from a training room, you thought nothing of it until your mind drifted back to training around there with Kayn when you were younger and a nostalgia to see the place again rushed over you

☆The moment you stepped in you were greeted with a toned back accompanied by a long dark braid...and something that looked like a strange armour on this man's left arm

☆He of course felt a presence In the room, but when he turned his head he didn't expect to see the person he missed the most.

Your relationship:

☆ At first you both agreed to make the relationship a secret, although kayn would have preferred if it wasn't

☆ Kayns loyalty first lies with zed, which leads to most of the times you 2 meeting in the cover of the shadows at night so he wont have training to do + less chances of beeing seen together, he would come seek you at night and take you outside usually somewhere in a forest or a field

☆ Zed didn't catch on at first but he would sometimes wonder why you 2 always dissappear at the same time when he wants to see you

☆ At some point, way later after your relationship with kayn, Zed decided to have you two "re meet". He could now fully trust that Kayn can controll rhassts thoughts and that he has enough controll over the darkin, at the same time zed knew you have been up to something lately, perhaps meeting with someone late at night, so as a dad he got worried and wanted you and kayn to train so you would learn some shadow magic like the 'shadow step' that kayn masterd, just incase of anything to happen he would want you to escape easily, not that you weren't strong enough to fight, but yknow he's your dad.

☆ When Zed "re introduced" you 2, it was so awkward of course, trying to meet your boyfriend as a stranger you havent seen in decades

☆ That's when Zed kinda caught on, Kayn was looking way too cheery and smirking a little to much for there to not be something up

☆ Zed didn't want to go into to many questions, he thought maybe it's best that he shouldn't find out all the details and just leave you two with a " I see I was mistaken, you two already reunited long time ago"

☆ Late at night zed is feeling kinda awkward knowing his little girl is already dating for god knows how long and he never knew, at the same you dating kayn eases his worries a bit because he knows Kayn is a strong individual that can eventually take care of you and help you with the order of shadow

☆ After Zed left you two you didn't really know what to talk about, Kayn said what's the point of keeping the relationship a secret now, so you two don't always have to hide away from the order of shadow and kayn can now happily brag and tease you all he wants anywhere ( + family dinners are super awkward and Zed doesn't know if he should invite kayn too now)

[runephoenix6769]

Why Netflix aging up the Characters could spell disaster.

Ok, so I’ve tried to find confirmation that this is true and kinda found bubkiss so far.  But.... Zuko being aged up by two years does not bode well his motivation or Azula (or Sokka for that matter), narratively speaking and will massively change how their stories/character arcs hit.  It’s my belief that by aging up the characters they’ll kinda lose some of the soul of the show AND the poignancy of just how much pressure has been laid on the shoulders of Gaang and Azula's trio. The nuance of Children fixing a world broken by adults. (I shall preface by saying that anyone under 18 is a child and therefore even joining the military at 16 is still awful, but this post is being written within the context of the avatar universe, its societal norms and customs.)

Hear me out.  Within the show, all the main cast of children are supposed to be outliers and exceptionally skilled, even surpassing many of the adults in that world in terms of mastery of their elements and ability to execute strategy.   At 16/17 Rangi had her first commission after graduating from the Junior Corps in record time, to eventually become one of the youngest Lieutenants in Fire Nation Army service, during peace time.  400 years later we are in the midst of a global war, meaning the goal posts within the various societies would have shifted considerably. (Apart from the Earth Kingdom, they seriously need to get with the times.) Zuko is the heir to the throne of an imperial expansionist country, where military service is expected of many of the aristocracy. (If not every citizen doing something towards the war effort.) And has been since the reign of Sozin.  Being the heir, he would naturally be expected to take a military commission at 16/17, as precedent has been shown to us via Rangi. This would serve to foster loyalty from his soldiers, train him in ways of command to prepare him for taking over the Nation, etc etc.  Lets say that Netflix keep the rest of his story the same, so he is still ousted at 13 sent on a mission of folly as a cruel punishment. Well that just casts his 4 years at sea and his behaviour towards his men in an awful light. In four years he has not learned regard for the safety of his men? It makes the treatment of his men look callous instead of being a child who doesn't quite grasp how much his crew do for him, that they too have been ousted and separated from their loved ones! Four years of shite treatment would surely land a mutiny on his hands?  If anything, it serves to make him look whiny, and incompetently oblivious to the needs of others.  And what does it mean if they move the timeline of the Agni Kai up by two years, to 15?  It doesn't have quite the same impact. Remember what sits at the core of this show. It is ultimately about children trying the fix the world that the adults broke, violence, cruelty, child soldiers and the effects of war upon them, under intense pressure to succeed.  Zuko is supposed to be a child who hasn’t even begun to figure out what he wants.   His character arc in the show is supposed to be that journey!

Which brings me to Azula!  A child prodigy, who took down Ba Sing Se in a relatively bloodless coup at 14! Its meant to be an awe inspiring Herculean feat! A top notch military strategist, she is meant to be unmatched by any of her peers.  Her age in the OG show certainly explains her behavior, her not being developed enough in many ways. This contributes towards the deterioration of her mental health when she cannot reconcile the heavily cultivated sense of self with the reality culminating in the tragic and heart wrenching mental breakdown at 14! At 16/17, it makes it look like a huge ass hissy fit! OG Azula’s inflection moment begins in The Beach episode. She is begins to ask questions of herself in the form of small experiments. It takes the form of her hiding their identities on Ember Island.  It is as if she is trying to feel out if she is as witty and charming as she believes, but she comes to learn that she is woefully socially inept, people don’t like her for her, beginning the spiral of insecurity and self doubt. We are also told that Azula’s mother thought her a monster and she is massively hurt by that, though she plays it off as nothing.  This insecurity is blown wide open on the Boiling Rock cemented by Ty Lee’s betrayal and culminates in Azula, who is truly terrified that he might burn her in a way similar to Zuko, seeing her being sidelined by Ozai.  She takes as a form of punishment for her ‘failure’, a form of banishment, that she has been discarded like Zuko, when she had imagined being by her father’s side as they burned the world in celebration of their mutual victory rather than for what is truly is which is Ozai being a glory hog and reaping all the benefits from Azula’s hard work.  Which brings me to the suggestion by Azula to burn the world in the first place. A child suggesting that you ‘Burn the World’ smacks a whole lot differently when you think of it as a kid not quite grasping/understanding the ramifications of such a suggestion, but a 16 year old? Such a thing tips her from confused mentally unwell child with a crippling fear of failure raised without a lick of compassion to full blown villainy with nothing remotely sympathetic about her! The way the last Agni Kai is framed you are supposed to feel sympathetic towards her! Which makes me wonder if they are gonna paint Azula as unhinged straight from the get go? Her unravelling at the seams is supposed to be her journey!

Sokka.... at 17!  In the OG show, Hakoda does the right thing by telling Sokka to remain behind to look after the village because at 13 he is too young to go to war.  Why leave him behind at 15? Would that not serve to feed into feelings of inadequacy, that he was deemed too weak to leave and fight with the other men and boys of the tribe?  Now, I would argue that Sokka’s OG arc rivals Zuko’s redemption. He does feel inadequate and overcomes it. He also unlearns a shit load of misogyny! What 17 year old doesn’t take responsibility for his own clothes, in a tribe were adults are few and far between? What 17 year old expects his little sister to be his mother and bear the brunt of the domestic? How obtuse and unfeeling would that make Sokka? It would propel him to the side of boorish, lazy and entitled rather than the sweet teenage boy who grows to realise he has a lot to learn.  OG Sokka is humble as hell and not afraid admit when he is lacking! He will go and openly admit his flaws and learn from others who he had previously written off.  Suki gives him a glass of respect women juice and he keeps on chugging, only adding to the Sokka we know and love.  This is supposed to be his journey! 

OG Sokka is just as much of a genius as Azula!  They are both supposed to be exceptional. Having them sit at 16/17 figuring this all out within a war torn world were it would be totally normal for them to participate in the generational war machine kind of robs them of this. Their more child like behaviours, grappling with concepts and truly understanding their consequences is supposed to remind us that they are children, being asked to do something no child ever should! Aging them up casts these things in a whole other light, skewering the what makes this show so beloved!  If you change the core characters to the point their journey’s don’t make sense within the world they inhabit, or they become unrecognisable to the audience you’re trying to milk then really.....what’s the point?  

[bunny300]

I want a story/scene where A is captured by B's army/nation/country (whatever) and brought to B.

Now who is A? I don't know. Is he someone important in the country/nation/army he came from? In all the stories I've read with similar situations, the other person usually is important, so what if A isn't? What if he's just normal/average rank in the army?

Like, imagine A being super bright but never having an opportunity to succeed. He picks things up quick and is an excellent soldier and strategist but maybe because of where he comes from, who his family is or something along those lines, any advancement was stopped. Because of that, his rank never improved so he isn't considered anyone important in his country/army by any means.

But say the camp he was at is invaded by the enemy and he responded the quickest. A was the one that crippled B's army invasion the most and actually created a situation where multiple companions successfully escaped, but he was ultimately caught, and to his surprise, finds out the order was to capture him alive and keep him alive.

While waiting for the inevitable meeting of his captor, B, he hears that his general/head of the army encampment or whatever, had been killed and that the majority of his fellow men were captured, all still alive.

This puzzles A. Why? Because B's country/army is widely known for NOT taking prisoners. In any invasion, they kill all those that fight against them. It is known that they won't kill unarmed civilians, but anyone in the army or carrying a weapon by time of invasion is better considered dead. If they're in the army, it doesn't matter if you surrender, they will kill you. Better yet if A's country has mandatory conscription and at a certain age or time they don't even have a choice. Maybe it's one of those, one man/person of eligible age in the family must serve or something.

So then now we have A, who hears that he was ordered captured alive, and his fellow brothers he's fought alongside are also alive, just held in a separate area. A finds it odd he's held isolated, alone in a cell, when it's become clear to him, by either being told or by listening to guards or other people that his companions are held in another area together. And so he waits. He can't do anything else. And after however long, he is brought before B.

Imagine A being pushed to his knees, forced to look up to meet B's eyes. And it becomes that beautiful "become mine" trope.

"Become mine."

"...what?"

"You are wasted as you are. From now on you'll be my strategist... As well as my companion. You'll follow my orders. You'll help me wage war. And you'll warm my bed."

"You're disgusting."

"You'll be the second most powerful man in my army."

"I won't do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course."

B signals to someone, and the doors open and A finds C being dragged inside the room. C was just one of the many he'd gotten close to during his service. Imagine C being pushed to ground and held there, unlike A, who was left kneeling alone, C had a guard on both sides of him, holding him firmly.

"You know, A, we don't take prisoners."

Imagine A immediately making eye contact with B, "you can't."

"I can," he says, stepping closer to the still kneeling A making A crane his neck to maintain eye contact. "And I will." Imagine B reaching out and caressing A's hair and A jerking his head away on reflex. "I don't think you understand," he says before grabbing A's hair, "I'm trying to get along here. I could torture him before I kill him." B let's go slowly before running his hand through his hair, pleased that he doesn't move. "Whether I take prisoners or kill them all... It's all up to you."

I honestly love this whole frickin trope. It fills me with warm and fuzzy feelings.

[earnestly-endlessly]

Hi! Do you have any Cherik Army AUs? I've managed to find just 3.

Hi Anon, thanks for the ask. I found some good Army AUs, though some might not quite fall into the category of 'Army AU'. There are, surprisingly, few Army AUs that I have found, whereas there are several military and war AUs, but those don't necessarily involve an army. I did include a variety that involve an army in one way or another, though some fit the bill better than others. I hope you find some that you enjoy!!

Cherik Army AU

I Want to Guard Your Dreams And Visions – luninosity

Summary: I was reading Barbara Hambly’s Abigail Adams mystery novels, and then Erik/Charles American Revolutionary War AU happened. Little snippet in which they share a tent, drink coffee, and provide support to each other.

The Eggnog Riot – Sophia_Bee

Summary: 1826. The American Military Academy in West Point. The day after Christmas. Cadet Erik Lehnsherr wakes up naked with a certain cadet Xavier sprawled across his chest. He can only blame the eggnog.

No Man’s Land – ikeracity

Summary: It's 1914 in Ypres, Belgium. British soldier Charles Xavier has been in the trenches for four months of endless artillery fire, bone-deep cold, and constant fear of the enemy. But on Christmas Eve, the gunfire falls silent, and they climb out of their trenches for a Christmas truce. Charles, of course, meets Erik, the German soldier across the way.

My Land’s Only Borders Lie Around My Heart – pseudoneems

Summary: WW1 Christmas truce of 1914. Opposing soldiers Erik and Charles meet.

Le soldat – Iggyassou

Summary: Erik is in the trenches, trying to survive the war so that he can go back to Charles, his young lover waiting for him back at home.

Names – Squeegee

Summary: In the summer of 1917, British soldier Charles Xavier finds himself taking cover in a shell crater.

Not sure if the 'graphic' tag applies or not, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.

Quell a storm with pen and ink – patroclux

Summary: Charles had spared his life. That was not something he could easily repay.

They wrote letters to each other for two years, until Charles was pulled out of the war from a sudden illness and Erik remained to fight for a cause he didn't believe in. One that ultimately had no effect; one that stole away four years of his life.

Traumatized and persecuted, Erik applied for a post at Janus, a lighthouse in the middle of the Irish Sea. He thought being alone would do him good.

Despite the letters and despite the love, Erik didn't expect Charles to find him.

Hier steh ich an den Marken meiner Tage – MonstrousRegiment

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a spy in the SS, and his British liaison is strategist Charles Xavier. Their relationship from the moment they meet to a year after the end of the war.

Theme and Variations: War – ninemoons42

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is a musical prodigy and a man destined for great things and great stages. But his life is shattered by a terrible accident that leaves him blind and trying to find his way back to his life, his music, and his place in the world.

Then he meets Charles Xavier, an agent of Section 8 of the Military Intelligence Directorate of Providence, and he finds himself listening in to clandestine radio transmissions and clicking Morse code, and these sounds are part and parcel of a war that can only take place in the shadows and the hidden places of history.

Strib nicht von Mir – ravenoftheninerealms

Summary: A squad of Allied Forces, led by Charles Xavier, liberates the Nazi concentration camp where Erik was being held prisoner.

Cold foxholes, warm hearts – oddegg

Summary: Basically, this is Band of Mutants. A little slice of life in Bastogne.

Photographs and Memories – tirsynni

Summary: When war-battered Erik Lehnsherr met Charles Xavier, the man kneeling in the dirt and whispering to a lost refugee child, Erik feared his days of running from his deviance was done.

Marching Home – Quietbang

Summary: For a prompt on the meme asking for fic dealing with the fact that, in comics canon, Charles served in the Korean war.

War meant something different to this generation, Charles knew.

Crash on the Levy (Down in the Flood) – Quietbang

Summary: “This is much bigger than you think. You're in the middle of a war, and you don't even realize, do you?”

He pauses, and answers his own question.“No, of course you don't. How silly of me."

The Knight and the Dagger – Dow

Summary: A Lieutenant in the Soviet Army, Erik Lensherr had no other goals than to find the man that killed his parents. But when a discovery yields a little boy with wings like an angel, Erik is shocked to realize that he isn’t alone. There are other people like him, both dangerous and alluring.

Lifelong Service – Pookaseraph

Summary: Erik thinks he should be the one to teach their recruits hand-to-hand combat; Charles makes a persuasive argument to the contrary.

Footsteps of uprooted lovers – ninemoons42

Summary: Against a turbulent backdrop of artistic, social, and political upheaval, the playwright Charles Xavier and the photographer Erik Lehnsherr find themselves meeting under less-than-polite circumstances, but part rather more amicably than they'd met.

When they find each other again in a Barcelona that is falling inexorably toward war, they find themselves taking up arms, each in his own way, and together they join a struggle for freedom, for love, and for their very lives.

Dear Soldier – Lindstrom, ToriTC198

Summary: "Dear Soldier,

I pray that this package finds you well. The organization gave us a list of odds and ends that you might need, but I thought that a person so far from home might appreciate something more than soap and tube socks."

When Charles' school decides to send care packages to the soldiers fighting in Vietnam, he chooses to also include a letter and a few personal touches. When Staff Sergeant Erik is the recipient of that particular care package it will spur a relationship that will change them both.

Fortunate Son – blueink13

Summary: he days leading up to and during Alex's deployment in Vietnam. Everyone handles it in their own way. Some handle better than others.

You’re Here – Deshonana

Summary: Everyone decides its a good idea not to tell Erik when his boyfriend comes home from the military.

Welcome Home –  loveydoveyecstasy

Summary: It's been two years since Charles was deployed to Afghanistan, and Erik can't wait to pick him up at the airport.

When Secrets have Secrets – ximeria

Summary: The arguments that take place in General Xavier's office when General Lehnsherr has a bad day are legendary. Quite frankly, no one really knows what's going on and if the two men have it their way, no one ever will.

Quiet Company – Sophia_Bee

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr is always on the move. He's spent the last many years going from war torn country to war torn country telling the stories of the people there through photographs. Then one of his pictures is selected as a winner for the Pulitzer Prize and Erik finds himself stuck in London for longer than he wants. He ends up with an assignment to photograph Charles Xavier, a wealthy philanthropist who is intrigued to find himself working with a Pulitzer-winning war photographer. Erik is far less intrigued by someone he considers privileged and out of touch. Both of their lives are about to change in ways they couldn't imagine.

The City is Ours – RedStockings

Summary: Erik felt his heart racing with excitement, lightened, and for once felt joyful. Charles had looked at him, really looked at him, and there had been something there, a knowing of a kind. As the soldiers laughed amongst each other, and joked each other about who would succeed in marrying the boy, Erik made himself a silent vow. Charles was going to be his, and nothing would keep him from having him. He’d marry him, and he’d save him, and Charles would love him for it.

Not even the war could keep them apart... right?

Sign of the Times – dsrobertson

Summary: Casablanca-ish AU.

Charles Xavier meets Erik Lehnsherr in Paris, 1937. They spend the next two years with one another, stupid in-love, until war comes heavy in September 1939. Erik leaves for Poland and the Resistance movement there, promising to return. Charles is left in Paris, where Nazi jackboots march in, Summer of 1940. He becomes a member of the underground French Resistance, publishing illegal newsletters, leaflets, until news comes through in February 1942: Erik is dead. Charles throws himself into more dangerous work, meeting with Communists, helping derail a German train, and he does too much, goes too far. His friends find him safe passage out of France, out across the Mediterranean, to Morocco, Casablanca. It is here he finds Erik, alive.

The Waste Land – nekosmuse

Summary: The White Queen and her Shadow King sit on their throne, safe behind the psionic shields of the Walled City. The armies of Genosha batter uselessly at the gates, a war locked in stalemate. Magneto, camped in the frozen mud, receives word the Citadel intends to send a telepath to the front lines. The same telepath he met two years ago, who sat across a carved wooden chess set and offered Magneto the first friendly smile in a lifetime. The same telepath who still haunts his dreams.

Winter Comes With a Knife – RedStockings

Summary: It apparently came to no one’s surprise that the war-mage Erik Lehnsherr took up residence in the Dark Keep. I knew he was going to choose my sister, Raven, to be his apprentice so why wouldn’t he let me go? What did he want from me?

My name is Charles Xavier, I can read minds and use magic. I’ve met Kings and Queens, mages and magic users. I’ve travelled through lay-lines and jumped through the Dark Void… but none of that really matters.

I am leading an army into war, I am scared and I never wanted this. I’ve come to realise that what I want, rode into my life when I was still a child. Now he’s out there, ready to charge into battle. Ready to die for me.

Polaris – LastAmericanMermaid

Summary: Charles Xavier is 19 years old, doe-eyed and soft; Erik Lehnsherr is 24 years old, steely-hard and bitter. One is a soldier, the other a refugee. Both are mutants. There will be pain, oh yes.

(An AU in which Charles is a wounded British soldier, Erik is the German hiding in France who nurses him back to health, and the contents of this fic are best read to the soundtrack of Atonement.)

Note: Unfinished

MEDIC! – paladin_danse

Summary: A British airborne medic finds himself alone and afraid behind enemy lines. When he decides to save the life of an S.S. German officer he finds wounded in the snow, he has no idea the choice he has made will alter the course of the war—and their lives—forever.

Note: Sadly unfinished

Suicide is Painlesss – weethreequarter 

Summary: Erik Lehnsherr did not become a doctor to pick bullets out of children. Unfortunately the US Army had other ideas.

Stuck in the middle of the Korean War, Erik and his fellow civilian surgeons have to battle not only the war, but also weather, mud, and boredom. And that's without mentioning Major Sebastian Shaw who thinks war is the best thing that's ever happened to him and never should've been allowed to pick up a scalpel, or Colonel William Stryker who may or may not work for the CIA and probably doesn't even know himself.

Throw in new arrival Captain Charles Xavier, and Erik is in for a very interesting war.

Note: Unfinished

A Light That Never Goes Out – R_Cookie

Summary: It was meant to be the war to end all wars; these two men were never supposed to meet. One a German Jew, the other a British surgeon. The odds that their paths should cross were next to none - but War defies the expected. It always has, and always will.

From the beaches of Dunkirk to the treacherous slopes of Monte Cassino - this is their story.

WWII AU.

Note: Unfinished

[the-lightning-strikes-again]

Yeah the Loki finale was meh/disappointing it doesn’t even feel like a Loki show anymore. I swear you could swap him with another character and the story would barely change.

Hi, anon! I'll put thoughts under a cut since idk who all has seen the Loki show yet.

Tbh, Loki is my favorite character from the MCU. I have waited for YEARS for this character to have an actual spotlight...

And I really wanted to like this show, I really did. Like, I legit wanted to just turn off my brain and enjoy everything?

But yeah, your message resonates with me. There were things I liked about the show, but once I got over the cool CGI and angst and female gaze, it just...feels like Loki got sidelined in his own story? The focus hadn't been about him specifically since episode 1. It instead shifted to Sylvie, who is different enough from Loki that she might as well have been Hawkeye still on his Endgame rampage for justice. And it was Sylvie's problems and Sylvie's motivations that drove the story. Which, you know, were interesting in their own way but not what I was expecting from a Loki show. A lot of scenes were just Sylvie running around and Loki somewhat helplessly following along in a daze that this is what his life has become. He was just ultimately a very passive character in someone else's story...because as the finale clearly showed, his core issues that needed to be worked out weren't in alignment with her own.

So it's sad to me that the show opened up by saying that Loki's destiny was always to function as a dead-end catalyst for other people's character development/journeys. And in the end, that's...exactly what Loki became for all the other characters in this show. ;A; And I'm not sure what they have going on for s2, but I fear he'll just play second-fiddle to Dr. Strange at this point.

I have other issues with the show as well....

___

I felt like they also massively declawed him? Ignoring the comics entirely (where he's even more badass) and looking just at the movies: He survived a Hulk smack-down, could toss humans like they were nothing, could travel between worlds through a variety of means, could already see into people's minds/memories and cast illusions and even change his form, and yet somehow all of this got retconned to make him a less powerful sorcerer compared to his Variants.

I remember this guy being actually dangerous and physically capable, which is why they locked him up. Loki used to have Avenger-level capabilities and strength. But now, he can't hardly fight off a human, and his defense skills are relegated to basic hand-to-hand combat and a dagger. The show even makes fun of his abilities and calls him a pussycat and turns him into a tie-wearing analyst...But I suppose that's in line with the general downgrade of his abilities in recent MCU movies...

___

And if being a sidekick in his own show and having his abilities retconned wasn't enough, I feel like the show failed to convince me that it really understood and is working to grow Loki's character.

The underlying issue that the show calls out as Loki's ultimate weakness is that he's "afraid of being alone," and that this feeds a narcissism complex. But this doesn't really make sense to me? Because he didn't grow up alone or unwanted. He had a mother (Frigga) who loved him deeply and taught him magic. He clearly made it into adulthood believing that Odin was his father, who certainly wasn't absent. He was always on adventures with his brother. He had clearly tried to build a reputation for himself that was differentiated from his brother's (the Silvertongue). This goes against how narcissists don't really have a personality of their own because they just absorb other people's mannerisms to fit in...So like, idk about parsing out the details of narcissism as a clinical diagnosis because I'm not a psychologist, but something feels a little odd here to me? Like, it's more than just...fear of being alone that drives Loki to be destructive? The loneliness is only a symptom??

The problem based off the early movies, providing that I'm not entirely an idiot in listening (which I suppose I could be), was that he was always in Thor's shadow and was never considered an equal, someone worthy of respect despite their differences. Even in the 2009 movie, his peers belittled his title as a Silvertongue and his love for magic. Discovering that he was actually an unwanted frost giant just twisted that knife in deeper and set him on a self-destruct path, once and for all. And it's really interesting to me that throughout this show, people are still constantly trying to establish themselves as alpha over Loki and make jabs about him as worthless and weak. And he's just desperate enough for validation to still try bonding with them the instant anyone tosses a bone of mild curiosity at him.

The fact that he's still positioned as less valuable and less respected than Sylvie, and that even Sylvie herself ultimately usurps equality in their relationship/partnership to enforce her will is just...depressing.

And for all this discussion about Loki changing/redeeming himself, at the end of the day, his perspective hasn't really changed? He still identifies himself as untrustworthy, even though he careens as a desperate lap dog for Mobius' approval and then Sylvie's once she gives him an ounce of attention. He has difficulty with accepting the value of a life, especially in regard to his own life. For example, he was still willing to consider upholding the death of future untold numbers via pruning despite being such a victim himself. And that's not a slam to his worry about a worse alternative, which is probably valid, but it's still weird that he does not believe he could contribute to a powerful resistance group capable of taking out multiple variations of one human man.

It's even weirder that he still seems to be caught in a tailspin regarding "necessary dictatorship," even though Loki is supposed to be a Silvertongue and could have won He Who Remains over as an ally against the other Variants of He Who Remains, thereby dismantling the TVA and freeing the multiverse. But unfortunately, he still can't see beyond two binary roads (mass chaos vs. subjugation). He has totally lost his confidence and identity as a Silvertongue. He can't see an alternative option despite supposedly being a Master Strategist, and that's echoed in how his initial thought to defeat Alioth was to kill it in a very Thor-ish, Asgardian way.

And because he has accepted the show's narrative that he is not capable or worthy of respect for his own unique talents, he openly just..accepts the concept that he's not meant to mean anything to anyone but himself ("I just want you to be okay") or do actually anything meaningful with his abilities. This probably underscores why he is so incapable of using his full powers for a Chaotic Good.

And for one final jab of hopelessness, the show immediately reverses the one (1) other mildly positive relationship he had just started to build via Mobius, solidifying that once again, Loki is not allowed to have friends. Loki is not allowed to have equals. Loki is not allowed to be respected. Which is probably why even when he's surrounded by other people, that's why he still feels alone.

I'm just sort of dead that for all the time the show spent on diagnosing Loki, it never got deep enough to ask why he feels alone.

Conclusion

So idk, the show just kinda depressed me tbh. I don't want to be this critical??? They have really great actors, interesting concepts, and clearly a strong CGI department. Again, not sure I could do better, so I recognize I'm playing armchair critic here. Maybe it'll get better in s2. I really want this show to prove me wrong and move Loki into a level of character development where he can like, actually have purpose in his own title show beyond serving as second-fiddle to other people in other people's self-discovery journeys.

Like please, just let him realize that he can have a positive, meaningful purpose. And that whatever his purpose is, that he is Enough just as he is, and that he can contribute meaningful things to others and be fully worthy of respect. And I think once that clicks with Loki, we'll see him really grow into something phenomenal. Something truly formidable, even if that character doesn't sit on a throne....

It's possible the show could go there? But I'm just a little leery that it's not really a show about Loki....

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 2)

Re-reading the first Yugioh manga makes me realize that Yugi is more or less a magnet for violence.

It seems like no matter where Yugi goes, insane people arrives to beat the ever loving shit out of him and his friends or in general make their life problematic.

But I honestly think it it the puzzle’s fault. The spirit inside the puzzle punish evil, so I believe the puzzle attracts these evil SAOBs so that they can be punished by Yami.

And boy oh boy do they get punished! Each punishment is more wild than the other. They make Mind Crush seem tame! When Yami is not using his dark power to curse them, he burns them to death. TRICE!

This is probably my favorite Penalty Game:

A guy who forces people to go to his private rock concerts with threats of violence get’s punished to listen to his own heart. His heart beats so loudly that the noise is driving him insane. That’s fucked up!

Another thing I like about the manga is how Yugi and Joey’s friendship is portraits.

They are teenage schoolboys, so they do the dumb shit teen boys do, like talk about porn tapes and eat burgers.

I’m not exactly thrilled about them watching porn, but it does sound like something two teen boys would do back in my day. But I think Yugi really needed Joey. Sure, he was friends with Tea, but he can do “guy stuff” with his new friend.

Speaking of friends, you might wonder how Tristan became one of Yugi’s friends. And it so happens that the chapter where Tristan became part of Yugi’s friend group is one of my favorite chapters... as well as a surprisingly not violent one.

Yugi doesn’t like Tristan at all since he bullied him way more than Joey did, like making him buy ecchi books for him and stuff. But he is Joey’s friend, so Yugi agrees to help Tristan.

One of the sad things about the manga becoming more card game centric is that Tea and Tristan don’t get a chance to shine as much. The author of the series is clearly very passionate about games and even made Tea and Tristan experts in their own fields. I like to say that Yugi is the strategist, Joey is an expert gambler, Tea is the master of rhythm and Tristan has a talent when it comes to games that includes aim.

But Tristan is also the hopeless romantic of the team. And that’s what he needs help with.

Tristan has fallen in love with a girl from the class called Miho, or “Ribbon-Chan” among friends. Poor Tristan is crazy about her despite them having nothing in common(Miho is a bookworm and on the library committee, Tristan is a bad tempered moron). But Tristan has no idea what to do to show her how much he likes her. That’s why Joey asks Yugi for help since his grandpa owns a funny store with a ton of games.

And Grandpa has just the thing. In fact, it is one of the most romantic things I have ever seen!

That’s right, a love letter in jigsaw puzzle form. If that is not romantic, I don’t know what is!

... Unless the person you give it to sucks at puzzles, then she will never know how you feel about her.

Tristan can’t write a proper love declaration, so he asks Yugi to do it for him. Joey then places the puzzle in Miho’s school desk so she can find it.

So... where is the evil douchebag that makes life difficult for Yugi and friends?

Chouno is a teacher who is famous for two things. First of all that she uses a ton of makeup. Secondly... that she is quite diabolical.

Chouno enjoys using her authority to dominate the students completely and expel them whenever she gets the chance. And she dates men in her free time just to give them false hopes and then crush them by rejecting them in the harshest way possible.

So it is bad timing that she choses this day to force the student to empty their bags and desks so she can see if they have something they are not allowed to bring to school. Japanese schools can be very strict, some schools have rules about students not being allowed to flirt with each other.

Chouno finds the gift at Miho’s desk and begins to put the pieces together in front of the students and reads the love letter out loud. Poor Miho is completely humiliated in class. Chouno demands to know who gave Miho the puzzle so she can throw the student out of school for inappropriate behavior.

And we then get the ultimate bro moment.

Jep, Yugi and Joey are ready to take them blame. And Tristan won’t let them do it. What makes this moment even more beautiful is that they are all three technically telling the truth since Yugi wrote on the puzzle, Joey was the one placing it on Miho’s desk and the message really is what Tristan feels.

But Chouno is unimpressed by this trio of loyalty. She has yet to complete the puzzle and she knows that by completing it, she will learn the name of the person who gave Miho the puzzle.

... Okay, I’m sorry to nitpick, but as a jigsaw puzzle enthusiast, I find it unlikely that she would lay it like that. I get it is for the drama and so she doesn’t know the name of the person who gave Miho the puzzle, but most people do the “frame” part of a puzzle first.

Just saying.

As Chouno is about to finish the puzzle, Yami steps in. This is the first time he punish someone indirectly. He curses the puzzle so that if someone tries to harm others by revealing their secrets, their secrets will be revealed.

So before Chouno can yell Tristan’s name, her makeup is transformed into jigsaw puzzle pieces that falls of her skin and her true face is revealed.

... And she looks as insane on the outside as she is on the inside.

Chouno runs away from the school, meaning Tristan is saved. Later, Tristan goes to Miho in private and confesses.

But she unfortunately just doesn’t like him that way. Joey and Yugi invites the heartbroken Tristan to go out and eat burgers, officially making him Yugi’s third friend.

That’s all for this time. Next I will take a look at Kaiba’s debut.

I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[polaristranslations]

Shinobu Mustard Episode 2

011

"You aren't hiding something from me, are you?"

A little girl with golden hair and golden eyes.

The mere shadow of a vampire, or perhaps the dregs of a vampire—in the past, she'd been feared as the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, the king of oddities, a monster among monsters that lived for nearly six hundred years, by the name of Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade. But her current, completely changed form was now that of Oshino Shinobu, and that was the question she posed in Koyomi's room in the Araragi house.

"Oi, oi, what are you saying all of a sudden, Shinobu-chan? If you're going to doubt me like that, then our relationship of mutual dependence would be over."

"As if! We're in too deep. As you can see, I'm bound to your shadow as if I've been nailed to it, tightly and firmly."

"Now, now. Look, Shinobu-chan. It's the donuts that you love so much, see? It's the Golden Chocolate, see?"

"That makes you even more suspicious, my master. Don't speak with such a wheedling voice. There's clearly something you're trying to gloss over."

She was sharp. Like a fang.

During spring break when I was seventeen years old, the legendary vampire, who had bitten down upon the nape of my neck and enslaved me, had been bitten back by me and enslaved in return—she had become the legendary slave.

However, despite saying stuff like "my master", she did not seem to want to follow my orders at all. This slave was not at all convinced by my well-reasoned and impeccable attitude, but rather seemed to have deepened her doubts.

Shit, Gaen-san sure was asking a lot from me.

Hiding something from Shinobu was harder than hiding something from my parents—she and I had an inseparable bond, with two hearts beating as one.

If anything, it might have been easier to run in headfirst into dazzling battles against vampires, just like my spring break at seventeen, but with a pacifist specialist and moderate strategist at the helm, it didn't seem like we could take the simple approach.

I had to hold Shinobu back until the sun rose again.

I didn't know why I had to do such a thing—I'd asked her during the daytime, "What should we tell Shinobu about this case?" And the answer that Gaen-san came up with while she slept was not to ask for her cooperation, but rather the strategy of keeping her at a distance.

She was totally just being excluded!

Even though we weren't on the topic of the girls' basketball club, it seemed that bullying was still a thing even among evil spirits... Haah, poor thing.

"Don't look at me with such a pitying gaze. Don't send your feelings of pity at me! What in the world happened during the day? Who did you meet?"

"Oi, oi, Shinobu. Do you really think I would do something like going around and seeing other people?"

"I do. You should at least go out and see people!"

"Now, now. Look, it's the Half & Half from Mister Donut."

"Even if you try to sidestep the matter with something like that... Eh? Half of it is a Pon de Ring, and the other half is an Old Fashioned? It's like a donut from my dreams! Panaino!"

With a sidelong glance at Shinobu who began chewing, I measured the time remaining until sunrise—right now, it was 10 pm, so there was still about 7 hours.

I wondered if I could make it.

Ultimately, since Shinobu was bound to my shadow, it was possible to keep her confined as long as I stubbornly stayed put, but it didn't feel right to force her to just stand by.

Even if it was a request from Gaen-san, who I was much obliged to, I didn't want to do anything that could create a crack in my relationship with Shinobu from here on out.

Since we were in so deep, that was something I wanted to continue.

"That's right, Shinobu. There's something about that deeply memorable spring break that I've always wanted to ask about."

"If it's something you've been wanting to ask for a year and a half, why did you not ask it sooner...?"

Shinobu knit her eyebrows in confusion, but it wasn't like I could tell her that it was a question I had just thought up for the sake of stalling for time.

"During that spring break, you sucked out my blood and turned me into an immortal vampire. You remember, right? With you on the verge of death, I said something like, 'Dying like this suits me pretty well, so this isn't so bad,' and chuckled nihilistically before offering up the nape of my neck..."

"Is something wrong with your memory? Did you use it all up studying for exams?"

The truth was that I was crying when it happened.

But, putting aside whether I was laughing or crying, at that point, I'd turned into a vampire... That was what had happened, but I'd learned from Gaen-san at the hospital that there'd been plenty of potential for that to have failed.

It was actually more likely for the creation of a vampire's thrall to fail, she'd said—and with three mummified high school girls having been verified, it was a fact that I fully understood, to the point that it sent chills down my spine.

And in that case, what I'd suddenly become curious about was...

"What would have happened if, at that time, my vampire transformation had failed? In the first place, what meaning does a failure hold to the vampire master?"

"Ka ka. So the time has finally come to speak of that, then."

Including the Half & Half, Shinobu had made short work of the donuts I'd prepared, and assumed quite the haughty attitude—I mean, it wasn't like I was trying to touch upon such a grandiose secret.

"You sure have grown, my master. Not that you'd actually grow, considering you're immortal!"

"Don't just retort to your own joke. And let me grow! I'm not immortal anymore, anyway. Besides, what kind of growth have you shown in the past year?"

Rather than growth, it was more like regression.

Well, going from a beautiful lady to a cute little girl was a genuine regression... But anyway, this question was made for a reason beyond just stalling for time.

If my vampire transformation had failed at the time.

Would I have become a mummy? And, before she was called Oshino Shinobu, would Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade have been able to survive?

For vampires, the act of sucking blood is like nutrients, but if a vampire were to fail at transforming their target into a vampire, would they simultaneously fail in gaining those nutrients?

During that spring break, the king of oddities had certainly said this.

One whose blood is sucked by a vampire is turned into a vampire, without exception—there was no discretion, it was just a matter of eating it all up or leaving some behind.

In other words, in order to prevent the unnecessarily proliferation of thralls, they couldn't leave any behind—would that just be indigestion?

In the end, were the high school girl mummies successes or failures—as the creator, were they failed products unworthy of signatures? It was hard to figure out.

Right now, the vampire that Gaen-san was chasing. With what purpose—or perhaps, with what motive—were they going after the Naoetsu High girls' basketball team members? If we could figure that out, it would help establish a point of reference.

Even if it was temporary, I wanted an additional line.

If the motive was just an appetite for the sake of gaining nutrients, then it didn't make sense for them to leave anything behind, even if it was just a skin-and-bones mummy. But if they were trying to increase the number of their thralls, then it was a series of failures that was rather disgraceful—what exactly was this vampire trying to do?

"To get straight to the point, if you had failed to become my thrall, my slave, then you would have turned into a zombie incapable of any thought. You remember, don't you? That day, when we visited a different timeline and saw a bunch of living corpses."

"Ah—yeah, we did."

I see.

For those cases, the image I had of those immortal creatures was like a humid, rotten lump of flesh that was sticky and squishy, so I hadn't connected them to these mummies in my mind, but now that she'd mentioned it, I had already known about the precedent.

It was surprising how such an intense and memorable experience could be overlooked when looking at it from a different angle—then, going off of the assumption that losing the ability to think and losing consciousness were similar, then those examples of failures... In that timeline, the "Oshino Shinobu from another route" was in a kind of despair, and had no purpose or motive.

Could this vampire also be in despair? A case of binge eating out of despair... Far from stoic forward-thinking or a smart sense of purpose, it could be a rampage of complete desperation.

Well, I didn't know that many vampires to hypothesize a pattern... Like the number of friends I had in high school, I could count them on one hand.

And, as for the span of time I spent as a vampire (though it felt like an eternity to me), it had only lasted a mere two weeks, so I couldn't be counted in that. So first, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade.

Then, there was the giant professional, Dramaturgy, who came to Japan as a vampire hunter of his own kind, in pursuit of the king of oddities... And yet another vampire hunter, the white-uniformed professional, Episode—well, strictly speaking he was just a half-vampire, but it was fine to include dhampirs in the count.

And finally, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade's first thrall—Shishirui Seishirou...

Four people. Well, they weren't exactly people, so I guess I should say four vampires? In any case, the sample size was a bit too small for me to use as a reference in analyzing the state of this vampire... Well, for a normal human, one encounter with a vampire in a lifetime would be more than enough, but with four vampires (five if you include this one) in a little over a year—Araragi Koyomi's vampire life is truly bountiful, wouldn't you say?

Although all of them were linked to Shinobu—Hm... Well, hold on.

Hold on hold on hold on hold on.

That's right, that was certainly a glaring oversight...

If we were talking about links to Shinobu, then while I had never come in direct contact, I was certainly aware of the existence of yet another vampire.

Though I'd never met them.

I knew.

Though I'd overlooked it.

Without exaggerating—I can say that, if it weren't for that vampire, I wouldn't be where I am today. Because.

"Shinobu. Speaking of which, you've never told me about the vampire that turned you into a vampire—the vampire that's essentially my origin."

"Ka ka. So the time has finally come to speak of that, then."

Shinobu repeated the same line as before, revealing the narrow range of lines that she could think of. And then,

"So the time has come to speak of the death-prepared, death-inevitable, death-certain vampire—the one who birthed me and the one who gave me my name, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster," she said.

What did she just say?

012

Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster.

Surprisingly enough, it wasn't the first time I had heard the name—or rather, it was a name that I'd just heard that day.

"D/V/S".

Somehow.

With that, I understood everything. No, not everything, but almost everything. That was why Gaen-san had ordered me to contain Shinobu for the night. It had felt like the kind of job that didn't make sense, that I wasn't really sure if it was a job or not—and if I may say so, a rather unrewarding role for how tiresome it was—but that wasn't it at all.

There was no mission that was more important than this.

In the first place, it was because Shinobu had gotten in the way when it came to the resurrection of her first thrall, Shishirui Seishirou, whom she'd once been separated from by life and death, that Gaen-san was forced to make a difficult decision on whether or not to request her cooperation for this case—and even then, this time it was no longer her thrall, but her former master.

Not in the way that she called me "my master" half as a joke and half for fun, but a true "master" in every sense of the word.

It might not stop at just getting in the way—in the worst-case scenario, Oshino Shinobu, who was supposed to be certified as harmless, might end up actively joining the other side. If this little girl, broken down to the point that she'd be in a good mood just from eating donuts, were to once again become the bloodsucking legendary vampire...

A return to the dark side.

Well, because she was such a legend herself, of course there was no way that Gaen-san, the administrator of specialists wouldn't know the name of the vampire that was the source of that legend—the onee-san that knew everything.

Therefore, as soon as the solution to the code was revealed to be "D/V/S", she immediately had a hunch that they were initials.

This completely ordinary town may have had oddity stories occur one after another, but that was when there was no god presiding over it—and now, why was it that yet another vampire would appear so soon, as if mocking the peace that we had laboriously established here? I'd thought it was weird—I'd thought that it could only be an oddity story because it was weird—but if there was a reason like that, then it would explain the drastic change.

If the vampire named Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster had come to visit her former thrall, Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade—just like Shishirui Seishirou, who had approached Shinobu to recover the Demon Blade "Kokorowatari".

Well, originally, his case had the implication of him returning to his hometown...

"Hm? What's the matter? Were you frightened? Did you get too scared to ask about what kind of a nightwalker would give birth to a strong, beautiful, yet fragile vampire like me? Ka ka, quite understandable. The story about the lord of a castle of corpses is so repulsive, it can chill your blood. Even I'm trembling with fear right here."

Shinobu, deliberately making a gesture as if to give herself goosebumps, seemed to be somewhat proud of herself—this was a kind of excitement I didn't see often, despite my close relationship with her.

Was it because she was talking about someone even closer to her, with an even deeper relationship? I felt the way I did when I watched Kanbaru and Higasa-chan play around earlier.

It felt similar to when I saw a junior that I was close with speak even more candidly with a friend that she was even closer with—it would be a lie if I said that I didn't want to accuse Higasa-chan of being overly familiar with Kanbaru, despite her being such a capable junior that would actually treat me like a senior in this day and age. Though it was a little different from jealousy.

Thinking about it now, as equivalent thralls, I had definitely felt something close to jealousy when I faced off against Shishirui Seishirou—that had gotten me worked up, and it had also caused trouble for Gaen-san.

Back then, I had gotten in the way almost as much as Shinobu had—however, if it came to her vampire master, then they wouldn't be someone to be jealous of.

That would be like being jealous of your girlfriend's dad... If anything, I would even like to hear some of Shinobu's stories from when she was human, and the fact that Shinobu had something she could speak proudly of would make me happy as well—if it only weren't for the current situation.

If the main character of the oddity story that Shinobu was telling me about so happily was using their poisonous fangs—their demonic fangs—to bite into the female students of Naoetsu High one after another, it would be hard to just listen to her with a smile.

"Well, I'd even forgotten that I used to be a human until I got into this mess with you last year—I haven't seen Suicidemaster in almost 600 years. Ka ka, she was a genuine vampire who lived quite the reckless lifestyle, so I'm sure she's rotting away somewhere by now."

"...Hey. Shinobu. When you say 'reckless lifestyle', what do you mean by that specifically?"

I asked timidly.

Of course, it wasn't that I was afraid of the ghost story—what I was afraid of was facing the truth. Calm down—it was possible that everything was just me jumping to conclusions.

It was something that happened quite often, me jumping to conclusions.

"Indeed. Unlike me, who eats everything no matter if it's an oddity or not, Suicidemaster was quite the gourmet. Once she'd decided upon her menu, she would stubbornly refuse to eat any other food."

Oho.

So basically, if she decided that she would only suck the blood of female students belonging to a certain club in a certain high school, she wouldn't even give other humans the time of day?

"In fact, at the time, Suicidemaster had almost starved to death when she decided to suck my blood while I was still human. Well, I'm the one who let her suck my blood out of pity. Nihilistically saying, 'Dying like this suits me pretty well, so this isn't so bad'..."

"You're saying the same thing I did."

"You can't fight your blood."

I wonder about that. If this continued, then it wouldn't end at just fighting—it could very well turn into a bloodbath... It was in order to avoid this that Gaen-san diverted her policy and took on the formation that had me mark Shinobu...

But, in that case, I would rather not have known that fact... I should have been a college student that didn't know anything, just as the onee-san that knew everything had arranged me to be.

Sure enough, Shinobu, who had been chattering away in a lively manner up until now, suddenly came to her senses.

"...Huh? Why was I talking about Suicidemaster at this point, all of a sudden?"

She tilted her head to the side—oh, crap.

"If I recall correctly, this originated from the question that you asked..."

"Good grief. Not slipping when asked, not slipping when talking, and yet slipping when asked again—I'm always so paradoxical, aren't I?"

"No, I think you just normally let it slip when asked."

Umm.

I'd already run out of the donuts from Mister Donut that I could have used in a pinch—whether he knew everything or knew nothing, now that he had become a college student, Araragi Koyomi could no longer use the method of a kiss to tide things over, like the Italians did. Not that it was any more justifiable as a high school student.

There was still plenty of time remaining until dawn, but just as I'd been backed into a corner, salvation descended upon me.

I heard a quick knock on the door to my room.

"Yes, yes, I'm opening it no~ow. Could it be Karen? Or maybe Tsukihi? Or maybe news that my child was born?"

"What if you opened the door like that and it was your mother?"

"If the news was that my sister had become a mother, how could I not congratulate her? Welcome, I'd say. Or perhaps, happy birthday."

However, when I opened the door, the hallway was empty.

"Over here, oni onii-chan."

A young girl appeared at the window.

"Happy birthday."

013

Ononoki Yotsugi-chan. An immortal falsely similar to a vampire, a doll girl and a corpse doll (this had nothing to do with what we were talking about earlier, but her existence was close to that of a zombie—a physical oddity similar to Frankenstein's monster), and shikigami of Kagenui Yozuru-san, the specialist traveling from a great distance away to return to Japan. And right now, in Tsukihi's room in the Araragi house, she was freeloading as a stuffed doll.

She had taken up the role of a nearby overseer that was monitoring Shinobu and me closely to ascertain whether our certification as harmless was really appropriate, but at the present moment, the young shikigami girl was, to me, a goddess of salvation.

"Wow, if it isn't Ononoki-chan! You came at just the right time. Now, don't hold back. Come and sit down right on my lap. My lap will be your child seat."

"My master, before you say such creepy things, at least retort to the doll girl's sketch comedy technique of knocking on the door yet coming in through the window."

"Please make yourself at home, Lord Ononoki."

"Is she a noble?"

Shinobu looked at me with even more suspicion, but it seemed that she had to lay aside those doubts in order to deal with her natural enemy that had flanked her—so far so good.

Call me creepy or even a degenerate, but anyway, I'd planned on plunging headfirst into bantering about a child seat with a little girl and a young girl as a vivid reminder of my high school days, but...

"Fortunately for me, I'm not so free that I can spend time lounging around on your lap, oni onii-chan," said Ononoki-chan, expressionless and indifferent.

No, this girl (and though I said "girl", she was the tsukumogami of a corpse that had been used for a hundred years) was always expressionless.

Because she's a corpse.

"Thanks to you, even though my employer, the onmyouji onee-chan, is away, I get to keep working. I'm making a huge profit. I'm laughing like, 'wahaha'."

She didn't look like she was going "wahaha", though (because she was expressionless).

"It's the know-how of wahaha."

"If such a know-how exists, I'd like for you to teach it to me."

But Gaen-san had said something like that, too... Ononoki-chan was in charge of a separate case.

That it was important to not sweat the small stuff.

In that case, she really must have just come with perfect timing, as opposed to coming here on Gaen-san's orders to support me in marking Shinobu—in that case, for what reason?

"What? Should I not have come without a reason?"

"Are you a childhood friend? My childhood friend doesn't act that spoiled. If it weren't for Hanekawa's support, she might not have even made it to college."

"I just felt like seeing your chaos, oni onii-chan."

"Don't come to see my chaos [kaosu]. At least come to see my face [kao]."

Although as a matter of fact, her timing was pretty chaotic—though the problem was, that chaos didn't show any signs of ending anytime soon.

"Hup."

Ononoki-chan stepped over the window frame and entered into the room—she wasn't a vampire, so she didn't need permission to enter.

How in the world did she knock like that? Was it a magic trick?

"It's true, I really don't have a reason. I was out for work and I just barely arrived home when it turned out that dumbass Tsukihi was in her room. She's studying or something."

She was such an oppressive and insolent middle school third-year that it was unavoidable for her to be called a dumbass, but I guess she's surprisingly diligent when no one's looking, that sister of mine—since Tsukihi thought that Ononoki-chan was a life-sized stuffed doll, she couldn't possibly enter through Tsukihi's window, so the hard worker had no choice but to return home through the alternate route of using my window.

Then, really and truly, how in the world did you knock like that. Did you borrow the power of the yanari phenomenon? Was it a phantom knock?

"However, it looks like I'm intruding upon you guys. Well, busy as I am, I can leave for the attic or whatever, so feel free to continue your discussion—oh, that reminds me."

While I'd been racking my brain trying to figure out a way to detain Ononoki-chan as she was about to make her hasty exit, she stopped just then to feel around her chest, as if she'd just thought of something.

What did that young girl plan on pulling out from her chest?

"Don't tell me you're going to use 'Unlimited Rulebook' to make your breasts huge!? Stop it, stop it! There are some lines you just shouldn't cross, Ononoki-chan!"

"I don't want to be warned about crossing humanity's K-point by someone like you, oni onii-chan. Here. A souvenir."

"A souvenir?"

Had she really gone that far away for work? Even if Ononoki Yotsugi-chan busied herself with urban legends, with Kagenui-san's absence, I figured her current range of activities would not deviate from this neighborhood.

However, when I took what she offered to me, it was not any kind of senbei or cookies indicating "Just visited ______", and instead, a piece of paper that had been folded ultra-thin.

In other words, it was a fortune slip.

Don't tell me she was trying to make the fortune slip she got at some shrine into a souvenir? Because fortune slips and charms and stuff are hard to throw away? Even as I thought, "I'm not going to accept this if it's nothing less than 'great luck'", I opened it up.

"Well. If it isn't a fortune slip from Kitashirahebi Shrine, where that lost girl works as a god," said Shinobu, taking a look at my hands and saying it out loud to make it easy to understand.

Incidentally, the fortune was "average luck".

Average luck.

It wasn't really clear to me if that was good or bad.

"So when you said you were working, you just went to play around with that lost girl, hm? You should've called me, too."

"I didn't go there to play. New as she is, Mayoi-nee-san is a lost child that rules over this town, after all. If I want to be able to do my work properly, I have to go through the proper channels, or else—"

While Shinobu and Ononoki-chan were partaking in a conspiratorial exchange that may have been friendly or unfriendly, I inspected the fortune slip.

Love—Treat your girlfriend preciously!

Studies—Don't let your guard down! Keep going without resting!

Health—Your mind is really in poor health!

Someone Waiting—You should go and see them yourself!

Business—Being a yes-man is dangerous!

What a high-energy oracle...

With her manner of speech, it did feel a lot like Hachikuji... As for the "Business" fortune, if it was referring to my current role as requested by Gaen-san, then "being a yes-man is dangerous" may have been just the advice I wanted to hear.

It was a good feeling.

This must be average luck for the sake of Araragi, averarage luck—but no.

That wasn't what I should be paying attention to. Well, that was important, too, but what I should focus on was—

"Ononoki-chan. You don't need to go to the attic. Until Tsukihi-chan leaves her room, you're free to just hang out here."

I stood up.

"The child seat and its child are going to go out for a late-night drive."

It was time to go and see the person waiting for me.

014

Hachikuji Mayoi had just been a lost grade schooler when I met her last year on Mother's Day, but now she'd become a splendid god. Even if it weren't for this case with the vampire, I knew it wasn't a good idea to visit her so casually due to her position, and I'd been careful not to rely on her (literally, pray to a god). But it was a different story if she was the one to call me.

Gaen-san had ordered me to keep watch over Shinobu, but she hadn't told me that I necessarily had to keep watch over her at home. Despite her previous offense, it wasn't as if Shinobu had been sentenced to house arrest.

But to deliver a message through Ononoki-chan through not a living message nor a dying message nor anything encrypted but a fortune slip of all things... It was surely something only a god could do.

The Kitashirahebi Shrine.

Built on top of a mountain, it was a shrine with deep connections and karma for me, and for everyone in this town.

If I was Lupin III, I could have simply ridden up the mountain in my New Beetle, but alas, I couldn't go against the Road Traffic Act or my own common sense. So I parked my beloved car at the shoulder of the road, placed Shinobu on my shoulders (my shoulders were also a child seat), and began to laboriously climb up the mountain path.

Due to the aftereffects of my vampirism, while I wasn't exactly nocturnal, I was still pretty strong at night—in times like these, I had no need for night-vision goggles.

"However, what business could that lost girl have with you? Does everyone really just want to see my master's chaos?"

Yes, I was curious about that, too. No, not my chaos, but her business with me—Hachikuji should have learned her lesson (or rather, Gaen-san mercilessly beat the lesson into her), so she shouldn't be behaving as freely as she used to.

She wouldn't just invite an ordinary citizen to the top of the mountain without any business—so maybe she had a few words to say about the serial mummy vampire incident secretly going on in this town, after all?

It was easy to get mad at me for this, but if the origin of this vampire's visit was Shinobu, then I had no choice but to take the blame for it, as her supervisor.

It was a violation of a virtuous supervisor's duty of care. Putting aside whether or not I had any virtues as a supervisor.

To be honest, responding to Hachikuji's summons did make me glad that I could gracefully escape from Shinobu's interrogation, but if what Hachikuji had to say had anything to do with this matter once we finished climbing the mountain, it would be a dead end for me.

A girl at the front gate, and a little girl at the back gate.

I had no choice but to hope that it was about something completely different. For example, maybe Hachikuji had decided to appoint me to sit upon not a child seat, but the seat of a god (in which case, I would humbly accept).

Really, I had no idea where my utterly random life was headed anymore. My life wasn't simply going forward, but hurling itself forward. Without coming up with any ingenious plans, the climb was completed.

Hachikuji was sitting under a waterfall in white clothing.

"Oh, how embarrassing. You ended up seeing me secretly trying to train."

"What part of this is secret? I've never seen anything so blatant. It almost felt like you weren't under a waterfall, but under a spotlight."

When did this shrine even have a waterfall?

Don't misuse your godly powers just for laughs.

She hadn't fixed her free-spiritedness at all.

"Oh dear. So this is not what they mean by a beautiful girl, glistening like the morning dew."

Of course not.

With a splash, Hachikuji made her way out of the waterfall basin... She was soaked completely through, and it was not in the least bit romantic. Her trademark twintails had been flattened against her head by the water pressure, and her white clothing clung to her body, making it difficult for her to move.

That open-mindedness. Truly a god.

"Anyway, it has been a while, Amefurashi-san."

"It's certainly been a while, eternal fifth-grader Hachikuji, but just because you're soaking wet, that doesn't mean you can call your friend by the name of a gastropod mollusk. And you're not sopping wet because I made it rain [ame wo furashita] or anything. I'm sorry if you went and got hit by a waterfall just so you could call me that, but my name is Araragi."

"Sorry. I flubbed it."

"No, it was on purpose."

"I fwubbed it."

"It wasn't on purpose!?"

"Ti debbuwf I."

"Even backwards, it wasn't on purpose!?"

No, that had to be on purpose.

And in any case, it really had been a while since I'd been here, but with the usual exchange that made it feel as if it hadn't been any time at all, Hachikuji and I celebrated our reunion.

"I wanted to see you too, Nobushi-san."

"Who are you calling Nobushi. By anagramming it, you've turned a ninja into a samurai. My name is Shinobu... Wait, am I doing this too?"

"Sorry. I flubbed it."

"Nay, 'twas on purpose."

"I fwubbed it."

"'Twas not on purpose!?"

"I fubwebd it."

"Even anagrammed, 'twas not on purpose!?"

With the girl and the little girl chattering away, it seemed pretty fun. Unlike the world of the animation's commentary tracks, they were heartwarmingly close.

Why was it only in the commentary tracks that they didn't get along? It's usually the other way around.

Well, Shinobu, as Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, had also been exquisitely enshrined as a god in the past, so in that sense, it wasn't just a relationship between a girl and a little girl, but perhaps a senior-junior relationship as well.

A junior, huh? Hmm.

"Anyway, Anagra-san."

"You're prolonging this, aren't you? If you take what you flubbed and link it to a new way of flubbing, this passage will last forever!"

"Anyway anyway, Araragi-san. The reason I went to the trouble of asking the very busy Ononoki-chan to summon you to this mountain at this late hour is none other than this."

Although I was hoping there was another reason.

"The truth is, there was a little girl I wanted to introduce to you, Araragi-san."

"Oho? It sounds like there are some circumstances."

"If you wanted to be introduced to a little girl without any circumstances, you'd have to be totally crazy!"

From the little girl who showed no intention of descending from her seat atop my shoulders even after we'd finished our mountain climb, I received an elbow to the head.

"To be precise, it's not to Araragi-san, but to Shinobu-san."

"Huhu. It seems you're the one that's totally crazy, Shinobu-chan."

"Don't act so proud of yourself with a little girl on your shoulders. And don't shrug your shoulders, either, it clings. There's a right way and a wrong way to shrug your shoulders, you know."

"D-do you really need to go that far? All I did was shrug my shoulders, though?"

"Now, lost girl. What of the little girl you wished to introduce to me?"

"Yes. Right this way."

Hachikuji went up the shrine road on the grounds and towards the main shrine—and we followed in the footsteps of the young god as they were marked down on the ground with wet, bare feet.

"Yes. Just the other day, there was a lost child that came under my custody... Incidentally, she was naked."

"Oh, a naked little girl [youjo], you say? Who knows if that can be adapted for the anime. It's a fine line to walk."

"It's way out of bounds! Clean it up [youjou]!"

She retorted with a pun.

"Clean up the little girls [youjo youjo]!"

You meant, clean up every important point [yousho yousho], right?

Even if you punned on every important point.

"Anyway, it's out of bounds even in a novel, is it not?"

"And yet, it can't be avoided. After all, we're for social awareness, getting straight to the heart of taboos."

"Not for social inappropriateness?"

But, to be serious, I was a little relieved.

I had no idea who this naked little girl was, but apparently it was a completely different case from the matter that I was cooperating with Gaen-san on—the matter with Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster.

And considering Hachikuji's origins, you could say that taking custody of lost children was practically a livelihood for her.

As long as we didn't run into the novel and stupid development that the progenitor who birthed and named the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire was actually a little girl, and a naked little girl at that, then it seemed likely to be unrelated to this case—and the clock had reached its peak around the same time we had reached the peak of the mountain, so there was about 5 hours left until dawn.

If Hachikuji's child [youji], or rather, her business [youji], was business for Shinobu, then it would be ideal if Gaen-san (and the others) could draw the curtain on the gourmet vampire while she was distracted.

And with Kagenui-san still not having returned to the country yet, it was unlikely that Miss Suicidemaster would be suppressed in a violent manner... In that respect, I was thankful for Gaen-san's pacifist nature.

"By the way, Araragi-san. Don't you have anything you want to say to me?"

"Hm?"

"You have that look on your face."

Wow, even though her career was just starting, she was still a god in the end... For her to read my face, my chaos.

However, I'd decided that I wouldn't consult her about this case. It was different from when she didn't have her position—now that she'd become a god, I didn't want to stick Hachikuji in a dilemma between oddities and humans.

"Ha ha. You don't know me as well as you think you do, Araragi-san. You'll never put me in a dilemma, because I'm always on your side, Araragi-san. As long as I'm with Araragi-san, even hell isn't such a bad place."

As she said those deep words of friendship, Hachikuji opened the sliding door to the main shrine, but as soon as she did so, I felt like I'd been struck by a sense of cruel betrayal by that good friend of mine.

On the floor within the main shrine, as if it was a divine object of worship that had been carefully laid to rest, the naked little girl was indeed a naked little girl, but.

The naked little girl was a mummy.

015

Some might argue that a naked little girl was a naked little girl, regardless of whether she was a mummy or not, and others might argue that naked was naked, regardless of whether she was a little girl or not—of course, some would argue that a mummy was a mummy, regardless of whether it was wearing clothes or not.

Just as a mummy was a mummy, regardless of whether it was wearing a high school uniform or a patient's gown—however, the situation had changed. We were now in the grounds of a shrine at night, within the traditional main shrine that was completely unconnected to electric lights, and that diminutive mummy seemed to fit perfectly there, as if it had been made-to-order.

The stage effects were astounding.

Rather than an oddity phenomenon, it was like I was being shown an important cultural treasure—and though I'd temporarily fallen into a panic, I was brought back to my senses by...

"S—Suicidemaster?"

A small voice that came from above me.

A whisper.

At that moment, with Oshino Shinobu calling Ononoki-chan "doll girl", and her calling Hachikuji "lost girl" even after she'd become a god that ruled over the town, I belatedly realized that it was extremely rare for her to refer to someone by name.

Suicidemaster.

Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster—was it?

"Wh—what a mess you've become!"

"O-oi, Shinobu. What, what did you just say?"

"Hee-yah!"

Could she tell that the mummy was her former master, even when it was all dried up?

Even though Shinobu had stubbornly refused to come down from my shoulders even after we reached the summit, she now placed both hands on my head as if it were a vaulting box, spread her legs out magnificently to the left and right, and jumped wide.

And, in the air, she spun twice around before landing, and then rushed up to the mummy of the naked little girl. The little girl was rushing up to the little girl.

"Whoa! Shinobu, be careful—"

Remembering the bitter experience I had faced in a shack on the side of the road to school during the daytime, I panicked and called out to her—however, what I'd feared did not come to pass.

The mummy didn't stir an inch. If I said it like that, then it sounded completely natural, but... Hm? Instead of the difference between wearing and not wearing clothes, and instead of the difference between a high school girl and a young girl, but as a mummy itself—did this individual follow a different providence?

Perhaps I should've also drawn close to check for this mummy's pulse or breathing, but I couldn't seem to move my body very well... It felt like my body wasn't mine. It felt like I'd actually become a child seat, or even a vaulting box.

"Hachikuji..."

"I'll say this now, but it isn't like I stripped this little girl naked for the sake of Araragi-san. The mummified little girl was naked from the beginning."

Um, that wasn't what I planned on asking or anything...

"Also, she hadn't been a mummy in the beginning."

"What do you mean by that? What happened?"

After reflexively rushing up to the mummy, it seemed she hadn't decided on what she'd do next, as Shinobu had been circling the mummy aimlessly before she asked that question to Hachikuji.

"God. What exactly is happening in this town?"

The question wasn't aimed towards me, but because of Shinobu's unprecedented tone of voice, even I couldn't help but feel nervous.

Even now, the administrator of the specialists, Gaen-san, should have been looking around town in pursuit of the unidentified vampire—so why was that unidentified vampire, Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster, assumed to be the culprit behind the mass creation of these mummies, sheltering away in a shrine as a mummy herself?

She's—sheltering away, right?

"......"

At any rate, there was no longer any doubt that Shinobu and I had long since diverged from Gaen-san's plans.

The prime suspect behind the mummifications had turned up as a mummy—it sounded like that old proverb, "the mummy hunter becomes a mummy", but wait. If it followed the proverb, then the next one to become a mummy would be me.

"Shinobu. What state is that mummy in? That naked little girl? I'm already kind of astonished that your progenitor who birthed and named you was actually a little girl, but that's definitely not what a vampire should look like—is she in a zombie-like condition?"

The prime suspect had become the next victim.

It was kind of like a mystery novel, maybe?

"No. If I had to say it, then this is cryptobiosis."

Shinobu responded with a careful, and marveling, voice.

Though a marvelous god was right there.

Cryptobiosis.

In other words, anabiosis.

The ultimate state of suspended animation used as an emergency measure to preserve one's life, that tardigrades, real, non-monstrous creatures said to be as immortal as vampires, used—or so I'd read in a book.

"It's not like a living corpse, but more like in critical condition... Is that why you called us here, lost girl?"

"That's right. I couldn't exactly have a clean conscience if a foreign visitor lost their life in my area of influence—as for what exactly is going on in this town, I would like to ask the same question."

That's why, for the sake of learning the truth.

Araragi-san, I would like you to procure the medicine that will revive this person—said Hachikuji.

"The medicine—what? Procure it—where?"

Is there a pharmacy in this world that would prescribe special medicine with components that would revive vampires, which are immortal by nature?

"It is not in this world. But, it is in the next world. As you are well aware."

"Th-the next world? Even if you say that I'm aware, I don't think I know what you're talking about?"

"You should be well aware, Araragi-san. After all, you visited it quite recently—it's hell."

It's the Blood Pond Hell.

That was what Hachikuji said—the Blood Pond Hell.

Indeed, it was the perfect medicinal ingredient for the vampire's condition, which neither doctors nor the hot springs of Kusatsu would cure.

016

Hachikuji had said something like "If I were to fall to hell with Araragi-san, then it wouldn't be such a bad place," but it seemed that wasn't just figurative—it seemed that I would have to visit hell once again.

To revive the vampire in a mummified, cryptobiotic state—even though I'd thought of this vampire as the fiend going after the members of Naoetsu High's girls' basketball club, I couldn't help but feel some cognitive dissonance at having to move for the sake of this vampire's health. But it was for the sake of investigating the truth.

Even though I'd regretted that spring break so much, to think that I would mobilize to save yet another vampire on the verge of death... It's bloody ironic, is what it is.

In the first place, just because she was discovered in the same (though not exactly the same) state as the high school girls, it didn't mean that the doubts surrounding her—and whether or not this little girl was "D/V/S"—had been cleared up, but there was no doubt that things were getting into the height of confusion.

It had surpassed not only my hypothesis, but Gaen-san's hypothesis as well—the question Shinobu had asked earlier was probably the same question everyone had in mind.

What exactly was happening in this town?

What sort of oddity phenomenon was this?

...Even an unprepared college freshman like me could tell that the fastest way was to ask "the person herself".

Otherwise, even if Shinobu's progenitor was the one responsible for the mummification of those high school girls, I certainly didn't think I could leave this naked little girl as she was... If I didn't clear things up, I wouldn't be able to even apologize to Higasa-chan, who'd provided me with the list of the Naoetsu High girls' basketball team members.

It was like the type of mystery where a necromancer-like detective called upon the spirit of the victim, but of course, this wasn't as convenient as that.

After all, once again, I was going to hell for the sake of a little girl... And this time, for the sake of a naked little girl, I was going to the Blood Pond Hell.

"But how exactly am I supposed to descend to hell? Seeing as I'm a perfect saint, I can't think of a way to do this."

"If you just play around with little girls or your little sisters as usual, wouldn't you just normally go to hell?" said Shinobu.

Even though she was sealed, because of her nature as an oddity, she couldn't accompany me to hell.

Don't joke about something just because it's not your problem.

Well, it was her problem, too.

The vampire who's like a parent to her was on the brink of death—it seemed she wasn't able to keep up with the situation, and although she didn't give off a heavy vibe, it didn't seem like she was able to keep up her antics.

But what about Hachikuji?

Though she was originally a lost child, she was now a god. I didn't think she'd be able to accompany me like she did last time.

In other words, even though she'd said all that so happily, in the end, she wouldn't be able to act as my guide or navigation, and I'd have to fall to hell on my own—what's with it turning out like this as if there was nothing strange about it, as if it was completely ordinary?

"But anyway, good grief. I guess I have no choice but to go. To my home away from home, hell."

"I was about to fall for you a second time. Don't say something so cool. The last time you were in hell, it was only for an hour," said Shinobu.

"It's an unseasonal homecoming."

"What are you saying, for a college student still living in his parents' home?" said Hachikuji.

Harsh criticism from these girls. Especially to a guy that was about to go to hell.

"Well, putting aside how long you spent there. It's your second time, Araragi-san, so you must be used to it by now."

"I wouldn't say that... But at the time, there was a specialist that would allow me to come and go as I pleased."

Right now, what method of transportation could I use exactly? I didn't know if it would take an hour, but I at least wanted to get back before dawn.

"If you went to hell with such a carefree attitude, even the judge of the afterlife would lose face," said Hachikuji.

Despite being the originator of the idea, she sure was bashing me pretty hard.

"Well, it may be a bit artless, but what about using the same method as last time?"

"The same as last time..."

I searched my memories. Yes, it was the previous academic year, the morning of my entrance exams.

Strangely enough, it was right here, at the grounds of the Kitashirahebi Shrine—at the time, Gaen-san had, with no explanation at all, sent me off to hell with something like a surprise attack.

With Demon Blade "Kokorowatari" in hand, she'd chopped my body up into pieces—that was the means of transportation.

I see, in that case, the original owner of that demon blade that was also known as the "Oddity Slayer" was right here—

"Eh? Huh? Then, am I going to be chopped up by Shinobu? A surprising kind of development that had never been done even during that spring break when I was seventeen?"

"Rather than a development, it's more of an expansion plan. Of your body. Shinobu-san, if you would."

"All right."

Arrangements to slice me up were quickly coming into place—Shinobu opened her mouth wide and thrust her hand deep into her throat.

Though Hachikuji had mentioned it was artless, it'd been a while since I'd seen that circus trick—like a magic trick, the oodachi was pulled out of the little girl's body without a sound, glowing with a mysterious light.

Demon Blade "Kokorowatari". The Oddity Slayer.

"Huhuhu. I've been waiting for the opportunity to rudely beat you up like this. How dare you humiliate me by putting me in a child seat!"

"I-I thought you were happy about it! Why are you getting mad at me now!? What's with that weird 'huhuhu'? What happened to your usual way of laughing?"

"Revenge is a soup best served cold."

"I thought we were at a distance where the soup wouldn't get cold! ...By the way, I've never actually seen you wield that sword properly... It's a bit late to ask Gaen-san for help on this now, but are you sure you can actually chop my organs up successfully like she did?"

"Ka ka. Don't look down on me. It's true that not even in the movie version had I gotten the chance to, but allow me to show off my secret techniques now. Everything was for this moment. To send you off to hell!"

"Aren't you a little too passionate about this?"

"Have a taste of the swordsmanship I honed for four hundred years! I'm warning you, this won't just end with your organs being chopped up. My Seishiryuu has seven secret techniques—"

First Technique: "Kyouka Suigetsu".

Second Technique: "Kachou Fuugetsu".

Third Technique: "Hyakka Ryouran".

Fourth Technique: "Ryuuryoku Kakou".

Fifth Technique: "Hika Rakuyou".

Sixth Technique: "Kinjou Tenka".

Seventh Technique: "Rakka Rouzeki".

"—And, unleashing the seven techniques simultaneously, Seishiryuu's final secret technique, 'Shichika Hachiretsu'!"

But at the moment where I wanted to retort that she'd gotten through the whole song and dance, I may have been torn to smithereens.

017

In my third year of high school, when I'd been fighting with the aftereffects of my vampirism (or perhaps fighting against it), I'd gotten rather used to the idea of dying.

In hindsight, I had relied too much on that vampiric immortality, which had remained pronounced even after I'd returned to human form. In other words, I'd been dependent on it.

I'd become addicted to death.

In the end, even though I'd managed to hit upon that one-in-a-million chance of returning to human form, I had found myself spontaneously turning into a full-fledged vampire, even without my blood being sucked—it was kind of like a rebound, or perhaps I was just an idiot who didn't learn his lesson.

The reason Gaen-san chopped my body up into pieces and dropped me into hell was to separate my soul from that immortal nature, that oddity nature, but thinking about it now, maybe I was about to make the same mistake again.

Just as I had grown accustomed to death.

If I ended up growing accustomed to going to hell—then saying that it was fine because it was my second time, or that I'm used to it... Those wouldn't just be jokes.

Ougi-chan would laugh at me, saying, "How foolish you are", while Oikura would get mad at me, saying, "You should just die".

Anyway, so this fool that didn't learn his lesson would once again reach out his hand and step foot into a tour of hell that could shatter mankind's view of life and death—

"...Huh?"

When I awoke, or perhaps when I entered into eternal sleep, I found myself in heaven.

Heaven.

Or maybe it was paradise, or the pure land, or perhaps Eden.

There were many ways to describe it, but anyway, the fantastical landscape that sprawled out before my eyes was completely different from the one I had seen when I'd last been sliced up, and it was one that I had never seen before... What in the world?

Normally, I would describe it as a beauty that could not be painted, but the scene—this landscape filled with light—looked as if I'd entered into a painting. Or, to put it another way, I had only seen such a scene before in paintings.

If I had to make use of my poor vocabulary, well, I guess I could say it was a beautiful example of Mother Nature... But the impression I got was more, "Is it okay for someone like me to be here?" I felt really out of place.

Out of place, and just wrong.

As if I'd accidentally wandered into the jewelry area of a department store.

With rolling green plains, a mountain range with distinctive ridges far off in the distance, and not a single cloud in the beautiful blue sky—the trees were lush and ripe with fruit, and the flowers were in full, multicolored bloom.

Even the air was delicious.

I wasn't a hermit that could live off of breathing mist, but it felt like just by inhaling, I could add a hundred years to my lifespan... Although, far from extending my lifespan, wasn't I supposed to have lost my life after being cut into pieces?

Wasn't I supposed to have fallen to hell?

"Urk... So basically, instead of falling to hell, I messed up and went to heaven? Ah, jeez, this is a problem. I guess whoever's watching is watching what I do on a regular basis."

"That's exactly right. You aren't as bad of a person as you think you are."

In order to break out of my confusion and break down the current situation, I tried to calm myself down by muttering something stupid (my self-control technique—surprisingly effective), but to my surprise, even though I'd thought no one was nearby, a voice spoke from behind.

Someone caught me talking to myself!

Normally, I would've ended up writhing in shame, but the gentle voice, as clear as (or even clearer than) the air around me, calmed me down as opposed to agitating me—I turned around.

The fact that there was a naked beautiful woman there did not make me lose my cool, either.

After a naked little girl, a naked beautiful woman.

What a series of events.

However, just like how the naked little girl was a mummy, the naked beautiful woman also had a third condition—or rather, more strictly speaking, I couldn't determine if the naked beautiful woman was a true beauty or not.

Because the beauty was wearing a demon mask.

A demon mask... To expand it into more words, a mask with a demon's face.

An adult woman that was liberally nude, but whose face was completely hidden by a mask... After finishing high school and entering college, I'd had a hint of hope that my life would become more adult in the future, but it had proceeded to become more adult in a strange way.

Not just lewd in the way I had hoped, but erotic and grotesque in an Edogawa Ranpo sort of way.

"......"

However, was it just my imagination?

That adult woman... That masked, fully nude beauty... I felt like I'd met her before. Even though I couldn't see her face, I could see her long, long blonde hair coming out from behind her mask, and her beautiful body lines that made her seem as if she was closed in a thin robe, even if she wasn't wearing anything. I felt like I had seen her before...

"I apologize for the way I look, Araragi-sama."

Oh my.

Though I didn't say it out loud.

I wasn't sent into a panic, but I was honestly not sure how to react to the gentle voice coming from behind the mask... Was this person someone I knew?

Was that even possible, considering where we were?

Since she had a demon mask, maybe this was hell after all? Was she one of hell's tormentors? If you hit the books, you'll find that hell really is full of diversity, encompassing every possible variation... Among those, there might even be a hell where a tall, sexy, naked, blonde, buxom beauty wears a demon mask and tortures the dead.

"I'm embarrassed to have appeared before you wearing a mask."

She seemed more ashamed of hiding her face than of exposing her nakedness—well, I'd suspected her of being a tormentor of hell, but this beautiful woman, like the landscape that stretched out behind her, looked like a woman that had been depicted in an artistic painting, and there was not a sliver of guilt or indecency anywhere on her body.

Or rather, I even felt that this landscape had actually been made for the sake of this beautiful woman—that was how much her naked body shined.

Perhaps, in actuality, if she hadn't been wearing a demon mask, the eyes of someone like me would have been blinded by the brilliance... Ah, is that why she's hiding her face like this?

So that her beauty wouldn't hurt me—her beauty?

"P—Princess Beauty?"

"Yes. There are those that call me by that name. But while you are here, I would like it if you called me Princess Acerola."

That was what she said.

That was what she—before she was Oshino Shinobu, before she was even Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade—Princess Acerola, a literal beauty who had destroyed her country with her unparalleled physical and mental beauty—said.

That was what the beautiful woman in heaven said.

018

"We are in heaven, so being without clothes is more natural. It is the natural order of things—if I may be so bold as to suggest this, it would be more unnatural for me to be clothed, as you are right now, Araragi-sama. Why not undress as well?"

"Should I? All right."

"Please do not decide to undress so readily."

So which is it?

But it was true that, if I were to be so brazenly nude, it would make me feel wrong—but "Princess Beauty", Princess Acerola.

I remembered.

Strictly speaking, I had never actually met this goddess before... At least not in this world, in this actual world.

I won't exactly go into the details because it wasn't something that actually happened, but in the period of time after I graduated from Naoetsu High and before I entered Manase University, I crossed through the looking-glass and was honored with an audience with "Princess Beauty".

Her beauty was such that it made me want to die just by facing her—even then, we'd only spoken with a curtain between us, but I'd nearly ended up killing myself, just as the people of the kingdom she destroyed had done.

"Well... I guess you could say I am convinced. 'Princess Beauty'... Princess Acerola, I could not possibly complain against you being a resident of heaven."

Uh-oh. My tone of voice was already getting weird.

That made sense.

I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't just a resident of heaven, but the queen of heaven.

Despite the great expanse of these plains, there was no one else in sight, so it was possible that Her Majesty had already destroyed heaven as well... Well, I was only joking, though.

Anyway, there was nothing unusual about Princess Acerola being in heaven... What was unusual was that Araragi Koyomi was here.

Just as Hachikuji and Shinobu had explicitly and implicitly asserted, I myself had decided that I would go to hell if I died—but then, what was I doing, ascending to heaven?

"That is because I invited you here, Araragi-sama."

"Ah, I see. So it was something like that. That makes perfect sense."

"Teehee. Oh, Araragi-sama, that wasn't something that should've convinced you so quickly."

It was a highly sophisticated retort accompanied by a pleasant laugh.

Considering she was going along with my antics, she wasn't just beautiful and kind, but a good person as well—but, "teehee".

It was worlds apart from that little girl who would laugh, "ka ka".

Was this person truly the predecessor to that insolent, inhuman girl?

"...Just like how I was separated from my vampiric nature and fell to hell. Princess Acerola, six hundred years ago, when you transformed into Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade, did that beautiful soul of yours that 'died' end up separating and ascending to heaven?"

To force an analogy, it would be something like that.

I couldn't tell what her expression was behind the demon mask, but the naked human body was a surprisingly eloquent thing—by moving her body, Princess Acerola affirmed my guesswork without even needing to open her mouth.

Or rather, this goddess seemed to inadvertently be posing while talking—I'd heard she didn't like it herself, but it seemed that the unintentional beauty of her gestures had seeped into the marrow of her soul as well as the marrow of her bones.

I couldn't lose to her.

Time for a slightly peculiar conversation.

"However, what may have been the reason for you to so graciously invite a humble person such as myself to this place..."

"...It seems the demon mask isn't enough. Araragi-sama, please lend me your shoes."

"Okay. As you wish."

Princess Acerola took the sneakers that I respectfully offered her and put them on her feet... The naked beauty was wearing men's sneakers with a demon mask equipped.

That slight hint of discomfort brought me back to my senses.

Suddenly [俄] brought me back to myself [我].

Considering the addition of that 'person' radical [⺅], it was a scene that made me wonder about my status as a person.

At the very least, I didn't think heaven would grant me a visa.

"Why did you call me to heaven, Princess Acerola? I needed to visit the Blood Pond Hell to get its water, that is, its blood..."

"Instead of discussing such things, please forget everything and come with me, Araragi-sama. This is a recreation of my birthplace."

She was a good person, but she truly was a princess, going on at her own pace... She entered into a review of the landscape.

A beautiful princess's review of a beautiful landscape.

"My birthplace happens to be the first of many countries that I brought to ruin."

"......"

Countries.

The first of many—it was a weighty statement.

And, as a siren-like beauty, she was the first, and most likely, the last.

"I am not sure how to respond to that qualification. I may have to resign myself to it—not to mention, it's possible that someone among your friends could become something similar in the future."

Hm? Who could she be talking about?

If it's one of my friends with influence on the level of countries, then I can only think of Hanekawa...

"...I'm not sure if the idea of a country being destroyed by beauty really makes sense to me... Princess Acerola, are you sure those countries weren't destined for ruin anyway, even without you there?"

It may have sounded like I wasn't really thinking about it, but I couldn't keep quiet about it... There was no need to take on everything as her own responsibility—as unlimited liability.

This didn't have to do with the girls' basketball team's collective responsibility, but the princess's back was far too dainty to bear the burden of all that—however, dainty as it was, it was by no means so frail that it would break if you touched it.

I knew that very well, because she was naked.

You could tell, that back was very robust.

"Even the prosperous inevitably decay. No, every beautiful thing will die someday—is that what you wish to tell me? Araragi-sama. If that's the case, I must say that I have been too greedy in obtaining eternity by having my blood sucked by Suicidemaster."

Princess Acerola's shoulders drooped. Her beautiful shoulders.

That's right—the legend of Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster that Shinobu had told me had been quite biased, and although she had told me this and that, on and off, about the vampire's character, she had barely touched upon the specifics of how "Princess Beauty" had become "Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade"—how "Princess Beauty" had become the "iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire".

Did she perhaps do that on purpose?

Or maybe she forgot about it because it was six hundred years ago—normally, an event so important would never be forgotten, so it would usually be interpreted as her just being reluctant to speak of it... But this was Shinobu, after all, so forgetting about it was totally possible.

She was so lax that she may have forgotten that she was once human, over the course of that long life of hers—after seeing me wishing to become human again, she'd said it had reminded her of something she hadn't thought about in a long time.

...I wonder what she was like back then?

I'd heard of the story when Kissshot Acerolaorion Heartunderblade had been enshrined as a god, just as Hachikuji was now and Sengoku had once been in the past—and when she gave that up and continued to be a demon. But what state of mind had she been in when she turned from a human into a vampire?

Had she ever thought that she wanted to be human again?

Or perhaps—had she quickly forgotten about when she was human?

As I'd mentioned earlier, I had to finish my business quickly and come back to life, so I didn't have time for a picnic with a naked beauty. But seeing as I'd suddenly gotten the chance to have a question-and-answer session, I couldn't help but want to ask a whole bunch of things.

For now, I'll try asking one thing. The most important of them all.

"Excuse me. If you do not mind, would you please deign to inform me of the size of that ample bosom of yours? Ah, this isn't for anything indecent. I simply wanted to bequeath to you a gift of lingerie."

"Araragi-sama. Asking that of a woman you've just met is not exactly praiseworthy. I do have the awareness that it was just a joke to lighten the mood, but I think you should refrain from saying things you will regret ten or even twenty years later."

She reprimanded me normally. Reprimanded by a princess. A naked princess.

When in front of a princess at the level that could make me kill myself due to being made aware of my own diminutiveness, it was less a joke to lighten the mood and more a technique for my own survival—however, I'm probably the only person that would take care to not kill themselves while in heaven.

"I—regretted it. The fact that I lived."

"......"

"I should have died. Before I even met Suicidemaster."

At first, I thought that she meant that she didn't want to be a vampire, that she wished to be human again, just like me. But when she continued, I realized that she meant the exact opposite.

"For that reason, I ended up placing a heavy, heavy burden on Suicidemaster."

This princess. She didn't regret having her blood be sucked.

She regretted making her suck her blood.

To this day, not a day has gone by that I haven't regretted my spring break when I was seventeen, when I helped and fought against vampires. But I don't think I had ever regretted it in the same way she did.

"And so—even while I knew it was an outrageous act, I couldn't help but pull you up as you were about to go to hell for her."

It seemed the conversation had circled back around.

Well, for a princess who is not only beautiful in appearance but beautiful in mentality, she surely would not display any self-centered conversation skills, even if she did go at her own pace.

"If the me that has become your partner, the me that you know, has forgotten all about the me that is right here, then that is not because the six hundred long years of her life has worn those memories away, but because she hated me, hated me to the point that it couldn't be helped."

"...Is that also regret?"

No.

She'd avoided even regret itself.

That's why—she made it as if it never happened.

She'd convinced herself that she'd been a born vampire.

If she was a vampire with the astonishing technique of physically tinkering with her brain to recover lost memories, then perhaps even the opposite was possible.

"Indeed. What I regretted, filling myself with regret to the point that I might burst, was not that I had become a vampire, but that I had been a human before that. That I had been a princess—that I had been myself."

"To the point that that chest of yours might burst—"

"Araragi-sama."

She stopped me just by calling my name—it seemed that even these rude jokes might end with me killing myself.

Now that I was in my first year of college, I wouldn't do anything like get flustered by the naked bodies of women, but at the same time, it felt like it would be even ruder to be all composed and unwavering in front of a nude woman behaving in a dignified manner.

It seemed to me like my etiquette as a gentleman was being tested.

"And so, that must be why I was separated from my soul, and this half-baked soul of mine was sent to heaven—a fitting punishment for me."

A soul where even heaven was punishment.

It was difficult for the average person to understand that feeling, but it seemed that, just as Oshino Shinobu and I held an inseparable bond, so did Princess Acerola and Suicidemaster—so much so that they had to be separated.

When Shinobu had been reminiscing, she'd spoken of her master with such ease that it was hard to believe that they held such a fierce relationship, as if she was like a college student talking about a senior from her hometown (a common occurrence—how envious)—so, essentially, she'd forgotten why she forgot, and she'd forgotten why she wanted to forget, forgetting everything altogether.

It sounded stupid when I put it like that, but when I saw the separated Princess Acerola in front of me like this, it wasn't a laughing matter.

"I'm sure you are here because you've accepted it, and I don't have the intention, nor the qualification, to console you, but isn't that something you shouldn't be worrying about...? Because, after all, vampires are destined to suck blood—"

"I can say this only because I have been a vampire myself, but a vampire sucking blood does have a different nuance than, say, Mr. Lion or Mr. Bear attacking humans."

Mr. Lion or Mr. Bear?

Why was she acting like a fairytale princess for children for just that?

"I think it is unreasonable to talk about vampires who prey on humans in the same vein as carnivorous animals. Though I am glad to hear you say such words."

"No... I'm sorry that words are all I have."

No, maybe I'd said too much.

It was possible that I really didn't have the intention of consoling Princess Acerola, and while I was acting like I was talking to her, I was really talking to myself.

It wasn't something to worry about.

But I should still worry about it. For the rest of my life. Or perhaps, for eternity.

"However."

Said Princess Acerola.

"If those points are to be considered similar—then it would mean that I had ended up changing the ecosystem of endangered animals. And that is, perhaps, an even greater sin."

"......?"

What did she mean by that? Ecosystem?

Before I could question the meaning of that monologue (which I couldn't just let pass, seeing as I was more or less majoring in the sciences), she continued. "It may be too late now, but I want to help Suicidemaster, even if it means protecting an endangered species," she declared.

She declared, beautifully.

"That will not lessen the weight of my sin, and it is possible it will only lead to my regrets worsening even further. But even so, I intend to do what I have to do."

What she has to do.

What she has to regret.

"I can no longer turn a blind eye to the present situation, and leave Suicidemaster in the state she's in."

The naked little girl.

Well, the nakedness wasn't relevant—the mummified little girl.

The mummy that had dried up so much—it was hard to even look at.

"—Basically, Princess, it wasn't that you were trying to prevent me from visiting hell in search of a cure, but that you saw me about to descend into hell, and thought, 'He isn't that bad of a person.' And then you pulled me up for the sake of saving Miss Suicidemaster, right?"

"Yes. I truly do not believe you are that bad of a person, Araragi-sama."

Even her honesty had a virtuous beauty to it.

It was to the point that I wanted to introduce her to the members of the Pretty Boy Detective Club, who I had befriended the other day.

"If I were your friend, I think I would recommend that you take a leisurely trip to hell at another opportunity."

If the princess who destroyed countries was going to recommend a vacation like that, then it seemed I would have to reevaluate the way I lived. But in that case, I would gratefully accept her support.

If I could, I would borrow even the help of a cat (though the Araragi style of doing things was "I would borrow specifically the help of a cat"), but if it was the princess herself offering her hand, then I couldn't not kneel down and kiss her.

"You said this was a recreation of your birthplace, Princess Acerola—um, can I find a Blood Pond Hell in heaven, too? Somewhere that's fairly close by, and easy to procure from—"

"There is no Blood Pond Hell in heaven. There is none in this world, in the same way there is no place here where either me or Araragi-sama can belong."

I was told something pretty terrible.

But, well, of course... In that case, it would be the Blood Pond Heaven. I couldn't help but imagine a Blood Pond Heaven as something sumptuous and immoral.

It didn't seem heaven-like.

So, if she didn't invite me to a haven where I didn't belong to recommend a cheaper generic drug with the same effectiveness but at a lower price...

"Could it possibly be that we were off the mark this whole time? Are you warning me that ladling out a cup of medicine from the Blood Pond Hell won't be the wonder drug to revive Miss Suicidemaster like we were thinking?"

Well, it wasn't the kind of treatment you'd find in a "Family Medicine" book... It had been a suggestion from none other than Hachikuji Mayoi, not only a god, but also someone who had had experience in hell.

To put it one way, it was like folklore that had been thought up by folklore; to put it another way, I may as well have been trying to go to hell to pray for rain.

Like a meaningless sacrifice, or a sacrifice chosen by lottery...

"No, no, it is not like that at all. As a treatment for Suicidemaster in that state... Yes, it would be Ultra-C."

She'd worded things in a way a youngster like me would get... Unfortunately, there was a significant margin of error, but I was glad for her concern.

"The Blood Pond Hell, a soup simmered with the karma of people, can act as a health drink not just for Suicidemaster, but for any vampire in the world... However."

That person surely will not drink it.

She surely will not accept it.

That was what Princess Acerola asserted.

"Because she's a gourmet. An epicure, and a high-class one, at that—she will never consume anything that doesn't go along with what she wants."

When she said that, I remembered what Shinobu had told me about Suicidemaster's personality.

She would only eat the lives of whoever she killed herself.

In that way, she was quite the stoic vampire.

"The Blood Pond Hell, if you will, is a buffet of sorts, filled with the blood of people in every possible variation. Do you like buffets, Araragi-sama?"

"Huh? Well, I guess."

The buffets that I was familiar with were mainly the sweets buffets that I was taken to by my girlfriend, but the glamorous party-like atmosphere was very exciting.

In that case, perhaps I could expect a similar sort of placebo effect from the Blood Pond Hell—however.

"Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicidemaster prefers service a la carte."

Said Princess Acerola, continuing the analogy.

"The idea of that new god was rather flexible, and I would value it as rather original. However, in this world, there are some patients that refuse to accept rational treatment—there are some that refuse to even see a doctor."

People that wanted to die naturally, huh.

They didn't want to live long to the point of defying their fate—well, that also concerned the matter of euthanasia or death with dignity, so it wasn't something that a youngster like me could talk about lightly. But there were certainly people that thought that way.

"A youngster, you say? Please don't abandon that thought, and keep thinking about it. You already have the right to vote, after all."

And why are you so knowledgeable about the state of Japanese politics?

Is everything we do, including right now, completely transparent to heaven? In that case, does that mean that the princess knows the truth behind this incident?—I nonchalantly tried to fish for information.

"If Miss Suicidemaster is such a gourmet, or rather, such a picky eater—then she's likely to be biased towards the targets she attacks as a vampire, right?"

For example, high school girls. More specifically, the members of a high school girls' basketball team.

"I would like to ask you not to probe for information. The fact that I could arrange this point of contact with you is not exactly commendable in itself."

Oof. It was a little hard to press for information if she told me that directly.

Or rather, I was pretty embarrassed that she'd figured out I was trying to probe for information.

"No matter what, I will always be on the side of Suicidemaster. It is like testimony from a family member—please consider my words to be unreliable."

"......"

"However, it is not that I know everything about this, either... The only advice that I can give you, Araragi-sama, is that if you wish to obtain the wonder drug that will become the nectar for Suicidemaster, then instead of getting it from a drink bar with variations of blood, you should extract that blood from someone that has been carefully selected."

For example.

For example, the blood of someone like me.

With that, "Princess Beauty", the completely nude princess, raised a hand to the demon mask upon her face.

Huh? Was she going to take it off?

Why now?

"Please close your eyes."

Being asked to do so, I finally (even though it should have been the first thing I did when I saw an adult woman in the nude) closed my eyes.

Because of her brilliance, an ordinary person would be blinded if they looked directly upon her countenance—that was how dangerous it was to look upon the beauty of "Princess Beauty".

She knew that from the very beginning.

That's why, even in heaven where exposing your body was the basis and nudity was the dress code, she appeared before me wearing a demon mask—so then, why was she suddenly trying to take off the mask now, without any context?

"That is, of course," the princess said.

I couldn't tell for because I'd already shut my eyes, but she must have already taken off her mask, for the sound of her voice had become even more beautiful—that muffled sound that came from behind the mask was gone.

And that voice was extremely close.

I had no idea when she had gotten that close, to the point that I could feel her breath.

That beautiful voice was coming from a distance where our lips were almost touching each other.

"If I am still wearing a mask, then I cannot place my lips on top of yours."

"Wha?"

"That was the reason why I asked you to close your eyes—"

I didn't understand what Princess Acerola meant when she spoke to me in an admonishing way, and though I opened my mouth to ask what she actually meant.

She shut me up with a kiss.

[tfw-no-tennis]

the animorphs continues, david trilogy style

here we are...we finally arrived....the david triology

I did remember a good amount of these books from when I read these when I was like 11. but I also forgot a lot an hooooly shit 

WHERE TF DO I EVEN START. so that shit slapped obvs. it really felt like the series has been leading up to this - all the characters have had to make really difficult no-correct-answers decisions, and it leads up to this - the ultimate shitty situation with absolutely no good, clear solutions, and everyone gets to contribute to the awful conclusion! 

one thing that really stood out to me is that with David's inclusion as this kind of ‘outsider’ within the group, even though none of it was from his POV, we still get a huge sense of the animorphs being an extremely well-oiled team, who all know and trust each other very well - especially w/Jake as the leader - Jake has to make a lot of decisions in these books but the other animorphs always listen to him 

this all probably didn’t help David, who was already thrown into a completely crazy situation, and who now has to deal w/this group of kid superheroes who work very well together. it also doesn't help that David doesn't really try to find his place on the team 

anyways I love how much wild shit happens in animorphs always. like they try to steal the blue box as birds and then David chases them off w/a bb gun? and then they end up in this huge alien showdown with visser 3 and his troops in David's house? batshit

also the hilariously 90s part w/the email...lmao. like its the 90s so there's no way to shut off the automatic email remotely, they HAVE to go to David's computer, and they also can just unplug it...lmao they should've just taken out the phone lines tbh

also I completely forgot about the whole plot w/the world leaders meeting and the yeerks and stuff. that really served to ramp up the tension and also make it obvious that David was an outsider as he consistently fucked things up then played it off

also KAA did a masterful job of making David juuuust a little sympathetic in book 20, but still Off enough that you're like ehhhh I don't know about this guy...then he goes full awful creep and it becomes obvious that there’s no way they’ll be able to let him stick around in any capacity 

the bit where David kills the crow for no reason is the first Real indication that this is gonna go seriously wrong. but even before all that, his conversations w/Marco gave me like, school shooter vibes 

these books are full of some REALLY good tension. the whole end of book 21 was so tense - they've been gearing up for this mission for days now, and they’ve had to do some crazy stuff to get where they are, so the realization that it’s all a trap is completely chilling 

and then when David tried to betray them to visser three...the gravity of that decision is unmistakable, because then the yeerks would find out that the animorphs are (mostly) human children, and they’d even know who they are, and that would be the end

I loved the part where David tries to act like he was just setting up an ambush w/his betrayal to the visser, and Jake immediately has everyone play along - and they do. earlier in the series someone - probably Rachel or Marco - likely would have ignored Jake bc of how slimy David was acting, but they've basically become a highly efficient military squad at this point, and it was a perfect slow slide into that over the last 20 books, and now is the time when the reader kinda realizes this (at least for me)

even if they don’t agree w/Jake and think they should just address the David problem right then and there, they all trust Jake as their leader to make that decision 

also the fact that these are the first books to do the ‘to be continued’ thing rather than wrapping the plot up...it really made it feel all the more tense 

in other books I normally look at the page count and go ‘ok so this conflict will be solved in this scene cause there are only 15 pages left’ (which is st I do a lot I now realize lmaooo I can pretty much gauge what’ll happen based on how many pages are left - and I do this when I read fanfic too, by looking at where the scroll bar is...anyways)

BUT w/these books its totally up in the air cause they can end anytime and just get continued next book, which makes it so much more tense imo

also I fucking loooove the part in book 21 where they’re hiding out with that little pool of yeerks - and I actually bookmarked some pages for these liveblogs, so I have quotes, this one from Jake - 

‘There was something wrong about killing defenseless slugs. I was pretty sure about that.’

Oh, Jake, that opinion is gonna change someday....

it is a little ironic considering he jacuzzi’d those yeerks in like book 7 or w/e. but alas its still a fantastic line that serves to show in the end how much things have changed 

also I love that the decision not to kill those defenseless yeerks end up helping them later - the yeerks check the pool bc they’re so certain that if the andalite bandits HAD snuck in, they surely would have killed the helpless yeerks. but they didn’t, so that means the andalite bandits didn't sneak in....

I like when the characters do a morally good thing and are then rewarded by the narrative for it - it’s pretty rare in this series, where there are usually NO morally correct choices (such is life) or they’re actively punished for making a ‘good’ decision (one could argue that the decision to make David an animorph instead of letting him become a controller was a morally good decision, but it had dire consequences). 

Ok and the part I have to talk about w/these books of course - everything w/Rachel. bc damn Rachel really goes through it in this trilogy. I absolutely LOVE the character development she gets, and I especially enjoyed the way her and Jake's relationship was developed

anyways, one of the best and most fucked up quotes of the series, from Jake’s POV in book 21  - 

<Ax? I think Tobias is dead,> I said. <I think David killed him.> <That would be a most terrible thing,> Ax said.  <Yeah. Get Rachel. If David’s killed Tobias, we may have to do a terrible thing, too. Get Rachel.>

AUGHHHHH fucking chills I swear. also eternal love for them saying dead/killed/etc and never shying away from it. it really wouldn't have the same impact if they used the normal kid-safe PG words 

but yeah Jake asking for Rachel when he thinks that they may have to hunt down and kill David? phewwww. 

and the significance of this is never downplayed. this essentially confirms that Jake sees Rachel as the one who is willing and able to do the dirty work - and specifically in this case, it’s also likely bc it was Tobias who was ‘killed’ and he knows how Rachel feels about Tobias

but like, that’s so fucked up, I love it. they give this situation the exact amount of weight it requires - ch1 of book 22 has this part from Rachel - 

‘If David had hurt Tobias, I would... But what was the point in making threats? I didn't need to make threats. I knew what I would do. So did Jake. That’s why he’d sent Ax for me.’

at first, it seems like Rachel is on the same page as Jake, but when it becomes clearer later that Jake sent Ax specifically to get Rachel bc she could do the terrible thing that had to be done - instead of just bc they needed reinforcements and she was closest - then things change 

but even when Rachel gets rightfully upset later over this, you get the sense she still never really sees any option other than to kill David. it’s not even the ‘killing David’ part that upsets her, it’s that Jake, her cousin, immediately thinks of her as the person to do the deed 

so, another fantastic quote from Rachel - 

‘Tobias was dead. Jake might still die. And I was going to have to go after David. I was going to have to hunt him down.  I was going to hunt him down and destroy him.  No, not destroy. That was a weasel word. It was vague, meaningless. I was going to kill him.’

fucking WOW. like really. that bit right there is just perfect quintessential dark animorphs. it just subverts the classic kid-friendly phrasing, using words like ‘hunt down’ and ‘destroy’ instead of kill. But Rachel says it like it is. she’s not going to destroy David, she’s going to kill him. 

But then a few pages later, after Ax tells her the quote where Jake asks for her specifically - 

‘It definitely made me feel strange. Jake had called for me specifically. Because he wanted someone who would do precisely what I was planning to do.  Like I say, I’m not big on feelings, but something about that felt wrong.’

I say it a lot but wow do these kids need So Much Therapy. these are like...8th graders. jesus christ. when I was in 8th grade I was busy planning sims-playing get-togethers w/my fellow 13 year old friends. christ animorphs 

and fuck, the part where Rachel threatens David’s family, and shoves a fork in his ear? jesus. and the fact that Jake knew that Rachel was going to threaten David and let her go do it...

and then afterwards, Rachel says - 

‘I felt...not exactly ashamed. But I knew I never wanted to talk to Cassie about what I’d just told David. Or Tobias. Or even Marco.’

I'm gonna make some leaps here but I think it’s really interesting that Rachel even mentions Marco here, and says ‘or even Marco.’ like, the ‘even’ seems to imply that Marco would otherwise be somebody she WOULD talk to about something like this.

which...kinda tracks, tbh. Marco is Mr Ruthless, he’s a cold, pragmatic strategist when he isn’t cracking jokes as a coping mechanism. it makes sense that Rachel would talk to him about things like this - he would make jokes, but he’d also understand 

I'm just so interested in all the highly varying dynamics that exist within the group okay 

and then right after Rachel says - 

‘But I swear at that moment I hated Jake far more than I did David.  I should have told them all what had happened. But Jake already knew, didn’t he? Jake, the smart, determined leader, already knew all about me.’

that's fucking daaark okay. It paints this picture of Jake having become this master manipulator who knows all about Rachel’s violent tendencies and is using them to his full strategic advantage

Oh my god okay and then all the stuff w/Saddler, christ. I had completely forgotten about that plotline but there was so much fucked up stuff there, too

and the scene where Rachel gives some good life advice to her little sister, and it’s a good bit to remind the reader and characters of the world outside of animorphs conflict...and then David speaks up. 

that was such brutal mood whiplash, when you realize that David is morphed and hidden in Rachels room somewhere...fucking chilling 

that whole scene just oozes disgusting creepiness. David’s fixation on Rachel specifically, and his rage at being ‘bested’ by her, really feels like misogyny to me. while David butted heads w/Marco, you never got the same sense of anger and disgust that he displays towards Rachel.

and the line where he says ‘hey, enjoy your shower’ made me shudder in disgust. christ. there are a lot of revolting, dark implications there.

also, book 22 obviously does a ton of fantastic character work for Rachel, but it does the same for Jake, too. and Cassie, but ill get to that later

we get to see so much of Jake as a leader and a strategist here, and pitting him and Rachel against each other (so to speak) makes for some excellent characterization, like when Rachel starts questioning why he asked for her - 

“I thought David had killed Tobias. I thought he might kill me. I wanted...firepower.”  “I see. You wanted me for my morphs.” It was a good answer. It could have almost been true. 

and then we get a brief pit stop at the children's hospital where the fucked up parade continues - David morphed Saddler, Rachel and Jake’s injured/dying young cousin, and is pretending to be him, miraculously recovered from his accident

and meanwhile he DUMPED THE REAL SADDLER’S BODY DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT. I literally cant, what the FUCK. 

and they never really follow up on it but the whole family and all the Drs think its this miraculous recovery against all odds, but then obviously David disappears and therefore so does Saddler - do they ever find his real body? how completely fucked up that must have been - so much worse than if saddler had just died from his injuries - the miraculous recovery completely overturned by a bunch of stuff that doesn’t even make sense to anybody except Jake and Rachel....

anyways, after all that completely fucked up bullshit, we have the Jake and Rachel confrontation, Jake’s whole speech about Rachel is amazing, but here are my highlights - 

“I think you’re the bravest member of the group. I think in a bad fight I’d rather have you with me than anyone else. But yeah, Rachel, I think there’s something pretty dark down inside you. I think you’re the only one of us who would be disappointed if all this ended tomorrow.”

I mean, christ. imagine your fellow 13 year old cousin saying this to you. oh MAN. and I love so much that Jake isn’t wrong, but he also is? he understands what Rachel will do, but not why she’s doing it. and I talked abt it before but Rachel has found herself in this box of ‘the brave/reckless blood knight,’ and feels pressure to live up to that reputation. 

so how much of it is a façade that she puts on bc she’s expected to, and how much of it is how she really feels? well, she got that reputation initially for a reason, but she gets pushed more and more in that direction as the series progresses, both bc of the unintentional pressure to live up to her role as the Xena of the group, and bc it’s really, really useful to have somebody like Rachel on your side

Then Rachel says -

‘I tried to look at myself the way Jake saw me. Was it true? Did I love this war?’

I'm gonna lose it, these poor fucking middle schoolers. Rachel, listen, you’re 13, you’re a child soldier, of course you don't love the war you’re fighting...I need every child therapist on the block to come here right now

like jesus being 13 is hard enough without all this nonsense. it’s such a tenuous time in development, and add something like this - someone like Rachel, who is somewhat pigeonholed by society as ‘vapid, pretty blonde who loves to shop’ would of course flourish in an environment where she gets to show how much of a 3-dimensional Person she is - she can love shopping and also kick ass! nice! but also, like, trauma. 

So then Rachel says this about Jake - 

“Jake, you’re a leader now. You make life-and-death decisions. All the time. You’ve learned to do that. And,” I added bitterly, “you’ve learned to use people. You use them for their strengths and their weaknesses.” 

Fucking read, wow. I feel like Rachel is absolutely correct here, if not simplifying things a lot. like, yes, Jake does make these unfathomable decisions on the regular, but he’s got tons of conflict over every single thing he does, and there was a lot of uncertainty and trial-and-error leading up to this. but she is correct that he’s learned, and is clearly a lot more comfortable in his role as a military leader now. 

I just love the contrast these two have. Rachel, with the burden she carries as the bravest - the fighter of the team, who must be relied on in battle and to do the things that nobody else will do - and Jake, the leader, who has to make decisions knowing that he could get his friends killed at any time, and still trust that they’ll listen. 

And then Jake says - 

“But everyone draws their own line[...] For example, see, I used to think my line was drawn at using my friend, my cousin, to do my dirty work. Guess that turned out not to be true. Sorry, Rachel.” 

And then they hug and vow to murder David together, as a team. Heartwarming cousin bonding! Again, so much therapy. 

So yeah I love that scene. especially when you take into consideration Rachel’s ultimate fate, and Jake’s part in it. excuse me while I go weep. 

Anyways, to the end. THE ENDING....it gets me every time. I’ll never be over it. I don’t remember much about animorphs from when I read it at age 11 but I really really remember the ending to book 22. The way they masterfully set David up, the rat morph, the pipes, THE LEGO, the reveal that they planned the entire thing, the moment when David realizes what’s going to happen to him....oof. It’s not something I could forget, even w/my notoriously horrible memory when it comes to media 

Also I feel like there was more subtle misogyny when David insists on humiliating/subjugating Rachel, just because she proved earlier that she was stronger and smarter and better than him...eugh David is just such a disgusting creep that you don’t even end up feeling bad for him even though he’s a middle schooler being handed a fate worse than death. I mean, he tossed a dead/dying kid’s body down an elevator shaft in a children's hospital. I’m pretty sure he deserves this. 

And here’s the part where I talk about Cassie. because even though she didn’t get a POV book in the David trilogy, she still got some brutally fantastic character development. here we see David starting to realize what’s happening - 

‘Cassie was crying.  David hadn't asked who the mastermind of the plan was. Who it was who had so accurately appraised his emotions, his need to build his ego, the fact that he would choose me to be his “companion.” Cassie, of course. Cassie had worked it out, step by step, after Jake and I had failed to come up with anything.  For Cassie, it was an improvement over the alternatives. See, no one was going to have to die.  But David’s life would end, just the same.’

CASSIE. The dark horse, except not really, bc this is perfectly in line with what we know about her, especially coming off book 19, her last POV book before this. in that book she makes some absolutely awful decisions, all to avoid having to kill somebody. 

After all of Jake and Rachel’s badass vows to take David down, it’s Cassie who finds the solution. 

To a lot of people, David’s fate could be considered worse than death. To Cassie, it’s a better alternative. That speaks volumes about her, and I love it. 

Also, the MANIPULATION. Cassie in the David trilogy really gets to flex her interpersonal manipulation skills, which I love to see. It’s such a fascinating aspect of her character; a really interesting use of empathy

Like the scene in book 20 where David freaks out as a roach and she manipulates him into not giving them away by pitting him against Marco, someone who David doesn’t get along with, by saying ‘if Marco can do it, can’t you?’ because she knows he’ll fall for it. And he DOES. 

And then the part in the cafeteria where she basically plays the ‘good cop’ to everyone else in the group’s ‘bad cop.’ Not ONLY does she manage to get David to shut up and listen to her, she also posits her theory that he wants to blue box to trade it for his parents - which his reactions to her questions confirms as true. and nobody else in the group suspected this. 

She lures him into a sense of security by talking kindly and quietly about how she understands how he feels, then hits him with what she knows and gets him to confirm it, which then allows Rachel to accurately threaten him. 

And then Cassie, offscreen, comes up with the entire plan on how to trap David as a rat, because from the beginning she had him figured out. David didn’t pay much attention to Cassie - more misogyny tbh, as Cassie is the girl on the team who isn’t an aggressive, feminine blonde - and that ended up being a huge reason for his downfall. 

David also didn’t pay much attention to Tobias, and clearly didn’t see him as human at all, and that made Tobias very valuable after David assumed he had killed Tobias. 

Ok, back to the ending - the fact that it was Rachel and Ax who stayed there to wait the two hours for David to become a nothlit....

Rachel says - 

‘Jake’s a good leader. He knows when to use us. He knows when to protect us. He knew he had to protect as many of his people as he could from what was going to happen.’ 

fucking brutal. TWO HOURS of listening to this awful kid beg and threaten and barter. I can’t even imagine. 

And Ax too! He gets overlooked a lot as an alien, and it’s probably true that all of this impacts him differently than the other human animorphs, it can’t be in any way pleasant to have to sit there for two hours and act as a living timer to count down this kid’s life. Ax is a kid, too, and an isolated one at that, being the only Andalite on the team. 

So yeah that scene is awful. Rachel even says - 

‘Two hours. But that two hours of horror will last forever in my mind. If I live a hundred years, I will still hear his cries, his threats, his pleading, each night before sleep takes me. And beyond sleep, in my dreams.’

I know I’m beating a dead horse here, but jesus christ, THEY NEED SO MUCH THERAPY. The fact that one of the constants in all of the POVs is the nightmares that all the animorphs consistently have....geez

Okay so I know in my last two liveblogs I ended them by comparing animorphs to another series - hxh and mtmte - but I honestly am drawing a blank for this...

I guess the only thing I can think of is to compare it to mob psycho 100, which is another very good, very subtly subversive series 

In mp100, the entire Point is that the very powerful psychic middle schoolers DON’T end up using their powers to fight life-or-death battles against adult enemies in order to save the world and whatnot. the Point is that that’s fucked up, and these kids shouldn’t be responsible for something like that, no matter how powerful they are 

and basically the character who says all that is Reigen, an adult who actively prevents the middle schoolers from joining what would be some very traumatizing fights 

basically my point here is less to compare the two shows and more to say - the poor animorphs could really use a Reigen huh. like, they seriously need an adult who’ll step in and say ‘wait a second, these kids are doing WHAT? hold the fucking phone, no way, get some actual adults in here to solve this shit. not today!’

the closest they could've come to an adult figure in their lives is Elfangor and he dies like 5 minutes after giving them superpowers, soooo....

man mp100 slaps I should rewatch it. anyways yeah the theme of this post is ‘the animorphs need therapy and also a stable adult figure in their lives to help them not get traumatized all the time’ thank you for coming to my ted talk

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter Two: The Hurricane’s Eye" in the Shadow Lords Tribebook from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part Two of Two

Some of it is true, but most is not.

The details vary from place to place, but any you hear which are “true” most likely are not.

Be aware that the invitation itself is a great honor, and conduct yourself accordingly.

Renown is not important, and neither is rank.

Only ideas count, along with the will to act on them when need be.

While most of us are aware of that purpose to a greater or lesser extent, the hard truth of the matter is that we are more interested in our personal agendas than we are in any

higher goal.

All of us lust for power, but most have forgotten the reasons why we pursue such ends, and why the ends we seek most certainly justify any means we might employ to achieve them.

All pursue the path to power in different fashions.

Competition makes us stronger, and divergent philosophies yield opportunities missed by other, simpler credos.

They are not interested in personal power for its own sake, nor in leadership of any sort.

They are more than willing to debase themselves for the sake of others, and their actions free many of us to bring other, more potent schemes to fruition.

Though they will not (usually) use this information for personal gain, they have no compunctions against destroying an unfit leader so that others might take his place.

They are pitiless and remorseless, and cloaked in an aura of mystery that only adds to their fearsome reputations.

They have eyes everywhere, and they are watching.

The lure of power intoxicates them, and they will do anything in their power to bring it within their grasp.

Power is the end for them, not merely a means to an end, and as such dominance and control are their meat and drink.

Few of its members come to healthy ends.

Pity so few of them make good on their rhetoric.

Circles within circles. It’s how we work.

They are, for the most part, fairly deluded individuals, pretending they are responsible for the sins of their forefathers and letting their sense of guilt guide their actions in the here and now.

It should be obvious that the time has come to put the past behind us and move forward, even as we learn from our mistakes to tread more carefully in the future.

But these fools wallow in the pain they feel they’ve caused, and hope to undo it and make things right again.

What they fail to understand is that, even if they’re successful, it won’t help us in the here and now – at best it will appease the souls of the dead, and we don’t have time for that now.

Their hearts might be noble, but their intentions are misplaced, and that might cost us dearly when all is said and done.

From time to time we hear that someone or other has started practicing those dark rituals once again, but none of these reports ever proves to be substantial.

None are immune to this, no matter their station.

They’re a by-product, the proof that we’ve fouled things up, nothing more.

Any fighting force needs strategists as well as warriors to be effective, and you must always remember fall into the former camp.

If you are foolish, however, you will only be consumed by your own ambition. Tread carefully.

You should always remember that it is only overt displays of aggression which are typically frowned upon.

It is mostly a matter of courtesy and ceremony, which means observing it is no great bother.

Accepting an honorable surrender leaves your opponent beholden to you, which gives you a tremendous advantage over that individual and all that are allied with him.

An opponent who surrenders in this instance is either attempting to trick you, or not very honorable to begin with.

Always bow to your betters, but do not let them cow you into submission unless they truly are your betters.

Humans have always feared us, and with the advent of an industrialized civilization they now have the tools to turn that fear into hatred and persecution.

If a warrior, to say nothing of a leader, is not fit to pull his own weight within a sept, then he is not fit to live.

Even an old and frail leader can prove to be surprisingly fit in mind and spirit, and if he is capable of performing his duties you damn well better mind your business and leave him be.

Our leaders must be continually tested to keep them in fighting trim, and that means making power plays when you can get away with it.

Don’t be a fucking asshole.

This isn’t about you, you little shit.

We’re fighting for a cause, and that comes first.

Stay on target, get your tasks done, and deal with any problems in leadership only after your immediate task is completed.

Violate this law, and you will not merely be punished. You will die. Painfully.

In many ways, it seems as though we have passed a turning point.

He’s going to change the world, if he has to kill every man, woman and child on Earth to do it.

You can make these people do just about anything, provided you can make it a point of honor for them to go along with your plans.

Do your homework before coming here, though, because you’ll be skinned alive if you don’t.

We have no business being there, and it has little to offer us in any event.

The ruthless politicking would be worth the trouble if the opponents were worth our time.

I wouldn’t say they’re making nice with us, but their kind and ours are becoming more and more interdependent, and that means the opportunities here are staggering.

We all have the same goal, and that means there are many opportunities for personal glory and consolidation of power if one plays his cards right.

This place is a gold mine, so don’t ignore it.

They are, of course, social outcasts, but that only enhances their utility in many respects. They see all that happens around them, and no one notices them as they scurry about their business. They are so eager to please, and so willing to talk to people who take the time to notice them and treat them like human beings — or even simple dogs. Call them mongrels if you will, but do not discount the wisdom they have to offer.

You should not ignore them, but do not expect much from them, either.

Some of them fancy themselves canny politicians, but this is a delusion. Be sure to indulge them, however, as they do not take insults lightly.

That makes them available, gullible, and effective, three fine traits in any tool.

Just be sure to cover your tracks whenever you make them suffer — they do not take kindly to being manipulated, and they have a longer reach than you might think.

You can manipulate them, if you approach them with care.

You must continue to humor them, of course, but they are no longer your masters.

Valuable allies, if you ask me.

They are stupid and hateful, and do not act on their convictions. I do not even think they have convictions.

We’re better off without them.

Bah! I don’t care how useful the little beasts are!

And do I need to reinforce the importance of dealing through intermediaries? I thought not.

We need no more enemies, particularly those that can rise from the dead.

They are wondrous sources of information, and ultimately disposable. They are ideal tools.

I say they’re vermin, and deserve to be stepped on accordingly.

They are of no concern to you.

While this may not seem like a critical project, it nonetheless deserves our attention.

Most of the others are both dangerous and more numerous than we are, so you must exercise extreme caution when dealing with them.

Do not assume they think like you do, or that they are motivated by the same sorts of goals.

These are alien beings, and you must treat them accordingly.

This disgusts me.

You don’t want to make them angry, but if you can get one in your pocket they can prove to be a terrific ace up your sleeve.

Your humanity is showing.

These beings hold secrets, and secrets hold power.

It is typically not our way to truck with the dead, but they are a resource, which is easily exploited if you know what they seek, and how to get it.

I’ve encountered ghosts in a number of places, typically sites of horrific acts or great battles.

Their time is gone, it seems.

It is a sad thing, I suppose, but they are ultimately of no consequence to us.

I’ve never understood why it is they’re here to begin with.

Unfortunately for them, they are clumsy, disorganized, and more often than not incompetent.

They have no real community to speak of, no formal training to fall back on, and no coherent agenda.

This makes them fantastic tools, since they never know what to expect from us and are just looking for targets which often coincide with our own.

So, a little push here, a little nudge there, and they do our work for us, all without us dirtying our hands or wasting other, more valuable resources on the job.

Great opportunities, there, so long as we can keep their attention far away from us.

They are uninformed, disorganized, misguided, and utterly ineffectual without aid from other sources.

This makes them fine pawns, I suppose, but don’t count on them for too much.

[phoenix-reburned]

The Eagle: An Alternate Take to the AnR Theory

Before I begin this post, I want to preface this by saying that if the AnR ending happens, I will be sad but not disappointed, this is simply a thought I had that I hadn’t seen anyone else propose. I won’t be discussing why people believe that the eagle is Eren, although I know that there’s a lot of symbolism regarding it. This is simply my own thoughts on how Isayama could have a tragic ending that destroys us while also keeping some people alive.

Spoilers under the cut for both the manga and season four of the anime, you’ve been warned. Also long post, sorry.

First of all, if you have not yet watched the Akatsuki no Requiem video, I highly recommend you do that before continuing to read this post. Here’s the video:

For those of you that don’t know, the AnR theory states that the eagle in this video represents Eren and that this video basically spoils the entire ending of AOT. But what if the eagle isn’t actually Eren? What if it’s another character, telling the story of how they ended a war through bloodshed and lost their closest friends on the way? What if the same person telling us this story in the video is the same person who’s been telling us this story the whole time?

I believe that the eagle in this video is actually Armin Arlet, and that this is him recounting how he stopped the rumbling. This mixes in some of the Lebouch (?) theory, but not in the way you think.

Let’s start with something most people overlook about his character: Armin is extremely manipulative when he needs to be. He was able to convince Pixis that Eren wasn’t an enemy, quickly became a strategist that even Erwin trusted, and told Bertholt that someone he cared about deeply was being brutally tortured to save Eren. In his current position in the manga based upon the 137 leaks, he’s been able to take control of some of the titans away from Ymir. Whether or not he’s really done this or this is apart of Ymir’s plan is up for speculation, but for now let’s just assume that he did this of his own accord. He was able to talk Zeke into dying for humanity, a literal nihilist who killed countless people. Armin clearly will get his hands dirty if it benefits his plan, as shown multiple times. He’s not innocent.

Something else that helped me come to this conclusion, although this isn’t necessarily a huge reason I believe it, is that Armin is the one telling us this story. He’s been our narrator since season one. If Isayama wanted to kill him, why not just have Eren be the narrator? If Armin’s dead it makes no sense for him to be able to tell us the story even if you take the paths into consideration, since you can’t interact with anything or anyone in there.

Last thing before I get into the video is that Armin is being treated like a god right now by the titans on Eren in 137. The creator of the trojan horse theory (@/localhangeluvr on twitter), which is another inspiration for my theory, made a thread showing this and the similarities between Armin and the devils in Ymir’s story. This shows that he is going to be extremely important to the ending, whether or not he lives or dies. This thread also discusses the idea of Armin being the eagle, but we came to different conclusions based upon that idea.

Now let’s get into the video. The first thing I want to point out is the appearance of the color blue. We first see this when the eagle cries and dyes the baby eagle(?) blue. Later on, it reappears on the butterflies. The character that is most associated with this color is Armin, through his love of the ocean. His eyes are also blue in the anime, although blue for the ocean fits better since they’re hazel in the manga. The first time we meet Armin, he’s also wearing blue. Maybe this represents him wishing for a simpler time, before the fall of wall Maria?

Another thing, the grave the eagle visits. Look at the symbol on it.

To me, it resembles a snake eating it’s own tail. This makes me think of Eren, someone who ended up becoming what he hated most. First in the form of a titan, then in the form of a mass murderer. This could very well be Eren’s grave that the eagle visits, meaning he could be crying because of the knowledge that he killed the person that was once his best friend.

Next, let’s examine the thing on top of the baby eagle’s head, which also reappears later in the eagle’s library.

This clearly is supposed to be the wings of freedom. If Eren was the eagle, why would he hold onto the wings? At this point, he’s completely abandoned the scouts. Why would he want to keep anything what reminded him of what became his enemy around? These questions disappear if this is actually Armin though, as he would have no reason to renounce the scouts.

Another interesting thing is that the eagle has blue eyes when he has the lizard/frog mask on, but his actual eyes are brown. As I mentioned before, Armin has blue eyes in the anime but hazel in the manga. This could be another subtle hint to the eagle’s identity.

Next, the lack of walls in the sky city, or the fact that this is what it represents. This is when the Lebouch theory comes into play. While I don’t necessarily believe that Eren wants to be stopped, I do believe that if he is killed and the rumbling ends, that this will create peace. A scene all the way back in season one makes me believe this. After Eren agrees to try to seal the wall, he takes a walk with Pixis. To paraphrase what is said, Pixis states that only a world ending event could truly bring humanity together. Well, I do think an attempted mass genocide would be world ending enough to do it. Plus, there’s the fact that if the alliance stops it, that would put Paradis and the eldians back into the world’s good graces. And if one of them gets their hands on the founding, there’s also a possibility that they could completely remove all titans from the world.

The family is another reason a lot of people assume that this is Eren we’re watching because of his and Historia’s possible relationship in the manga, if you believe that Historia’s child is his (which I do, but that’s not super relevant right now). But that’s not necessarily what’s happening here. If someone’s able to reverse the curse of Ymir, then this COULD be Armin and Annie’s family. If Armin and Annie’s feelings for each other wasn’t important, why bring it up right at the end of the story? At this point there’s no reason for Isayama to show us that they like each other UNLESS it plays a role in the prologue. Or, maybe it’s to make Annie’s death sadder if he does kill her, but since she’s still alive I’m sticking with option a. I’m not sure if the cat means anything, however black cats are usually regarded as an omen of death. This could be a reminder that Armin killed Eren.

Another clue is the library.

It’s shown to be very expansive, clearly showing that whoever owns it loves to read. Only one character comes to mind when you think about books.

The lizard family is next.

Notice that it’s a father, mother and child. Maybe Armin will have to end up killing both Historia and her child along with Eren? Or this could just show Armin’s regrets at the deaths he’s caused in general.

In the ruins, we again see the image of a snake eating it’s tail. Possibly representing the damage that Eren caused with the rumbling?

Now the butterflies. Possibly one of the biggest reasons why people believe that Eren is the eagle.

In total, we see 10 butterflies. I believe that this does represent the alliance as they attempt to stop Eren, and shows that about 5 of them will die. I believe that the first death is either represented by Hange or Zeke, depending on how you view it. Maybe Zeke, as he was an outlier to the group until his death. I believe that Levi, Reiner, and Pieck will be the last three deaths. To add to this, the ground shot also only shows five butterflies, meaning that more than likely the rest of the alliance will live.

Right after these deaths, the baby eagle is shown preparing to fight. I believe that this means that these last three deaths will happen in quick succession and drive Armin overboard, causing him to do what Mikasa won’t and kill Eren.

Next, we see both eagles in a field of graves, showing that Armin regrets not being able to save more people. Maybe he even blames himself for their deaths, wishing he had stopped Eren earlier.

While I know that Mikasa is the one to wake Eren up from under the tree, maybe this shows that Armin is the one who says ‘see you later’ before she does?

I believe that this represents Armin realizing that, without Eren’s destruction, they never would have gotten peace. I believe that him dropping the arrow represents him feeling a kind of gratitude towards him, in a weird way?

And then the end of the video just shows us again that, while Eren did ultimately bring about peace, it came at a heavy price.

A few more things to mention:

1. The lyrics DO tie into chapter titles, while I won’t list them here going through the comments of this video will show all of them to you.

2. Armin’s last name literally means eagle.

That’s the end to my theory! Basically, I believe that Armin will kill Eren and that peace will be achieved, however it won’t be a happy ending for anyone involved.

There’s a few things about the video that I can’t necessarily explain, like the eagle’s lost leg. Though maybe, if they do rid the world of titans, if Armin is injured while killing Eren he’ll end up losing it? It’s something I’ll keep an eye out for over these last few chapters. Another thing is the revealed last manga panel. Most people do believe that it’s Eren (for good reason), we never get that confirmation. If this is after another time skip, that could be another character, hell maybe it’s even Armin talking to his and Annie’s child.

That’s it from me though. Let me know what yall think, if you think it’s plausible or tell me that I’m wrong, I don’t care lol. Proofs to either disprove or prove this would be great if yall find any! Thanks for reading my longass post.

[calliecat93]

ST: The Next Generation Season Two Episodes 19-22.

Manhunt: Lwaxana is back… yay. Yeah I made it no secret that I thought that she was uttery obnoxious in her first episode even if Majel Barret played her very well, and when I read the description for this I became even less enthused about her return. I’ll give her points in that she does seem to be a better mother towards Troi this time around. But… yeah this episode did nothing to make me like her better, if anything her advances on Picard who clearly didn’t feel the same way only made me dislike her more. Admittedly Picard calling in Data to ramble about different cultures was funny, but still I am NOT liking Troi’s mother at all, coming off as more obnoxious and forceful than sympathetic. Looking for a new husband is perfectly fine, but it’s not funny at least to me and no the explanation about a Betazoid woman’s s*x drive increasing at middle age doesn’t make it any better especially when she tries to make Riker marry her. I guess it was funnier than the last one since only the ‘can you continue the petty bickering’ line got me to laugh, but somehow this one annoys me more. I like the dress uniform being an actual dress though and the men wearing it with no complaints. In your face gender norms! Otherwise outside a few amusing bits like the holodeck scenes and me feeling bad for Picard and Troi, I very much disliked this episode and it may be my least favorite thus far this season. 1/5

The Emissary: More romance, yippee… this time it’s Worf and a half Klingon, half human emissary. I really liked K’Ehleyr. The actress was freakin’ excellent and her character, a woman struggling with two sides and seems utterly afraid of her Klingon half as well as a general distrust f Klingons makes her very interesting. It feels kinda bigoted but still adds character. Or I just really like tough women and that’s why I liked her, but still. Also she was totally flirting with Troi. You cannot convince me that she wasn’t. As far as her and Worf being old flames go… didn’t really feel it? Maybe I’m just not into the whole old flames dynamic or the flirting with Troi got to me, but eh. Not sure how I feel about Worf’s part of it. It kinda feels like he wanted to force a marriage thag K’Ehleyr made clear that she wasn’t ready for, but I guess his insecurites about being a human-raised Klingon out of touch with his culture remains if I’m reading things right. And the climax shows how his experience in Starfleet has done good for him and his Klingon knowledge ultimately saved the day. All in all, it was an okay episode. No strong feelings or opinions. I liked it better than the last one, that’s all I’m certain about. 3/5.

Peak Performance: So for this episode we have Riker, Word, Geordi, and Wesley undergoing a simulation/training exercise against the rest of the Enterprise with Riker leading the former. Also on board is an asshole who is supposidly a master strategist and even beats Data in a strategy game. It’s an okay episode. No real strong opinions. I liked seeing Riker’s group being competent and being able to match the Enterprise. The asshole guy insulting Riker’s competency annoyed me because the odd mo ment aside, Riker is a very capable First Officer and leader and if anything his charming, jovial personality makes him someone to inspire others. Data is also down after losing and becomes worried about failing, especially as he’s the acting First Officer with Riker on the other team. It felt like Pulaski kind of relapsed I feel, but she DOES apologize to Data so that’s still better than earlier. Oh and the Ferengi came back, been a while. I think this also shows how being knowledgeable about strategy and using it in a game is NOT the same as actually using those skills in a battlefield or having the experience. Hence why Riker is awesome and the asshole is not. Again, a fine episode. No strong feelings. No strong positive or negative thiughts. It was just fine, and sometimes that’s all I ever ask for. 3/5.

Shades of Gray: Season finale, hooray! I made it~! So how do we end the season? Riker hurting himself on a planet that they know nothing about and is now dying! Of course, wouldn’t be Star Trek if the First Officer didn’t hurt/almost kill himself! So how does this potential for an emotional episode about the loyal, devoted First Officer clinging to life and Troi and his friends/fellow officers facing losing him while trying to find a way to save him? We have… Diker reliving his memories over the past two seasons. That’s right folks, it’s a clip show! Umm… yeah I’m… disappointed? I don’t necessarily hate clipshows bit this could have been a really good episode for Riker and allow some emotions, even show how far things had come since the start. Which tbf a clip show can still allow, but as it’s Riker just dreaming through old memories and not the crew reminiscing or talking to him whole he’s sleeping about those memories, the effect a clip show could have… well, fails. It impacts Troi I guess since she’s sensing his emotions, but that’s ot. Also since I know she just gets dropped without even mentioning her, this is Pulaski’s final episode… and she just does her usual doctor thing. Bjt considering the reception towards her that I’ll go into in another post, maybe this is the best sendoff for her. Overall it’s not a bad episode and not even a bad finale necessarily, but it doesn’t really do much. Though I guess it reminds me of why I like Riker at least and remember a few moments, so there’s that XD 2/5

And thus, Season Two is oficially done! It took FAAAR too long to finally get to it and… well I’ll delve into my feelings in the overall thoughts post that I’ll hopefully have ready for tomorrow. For now, let’s just say you never knew what you were getting. It’s been a ride though, that’s for sure. I’ll begin Season 3 on Tuesday and we’ll see what awaits us thrn. Until then, it may have taken a while to get back underway, but the S2 journey is complete. But there’s still much more to go.

[chibimyumi]

Hi I have a question if you don't mind I would like to know what your thoughts are on the musical Marie Antoinette and what the story about and what for character Axel von Fersen is and what he does in the story? Thank you for answering my question

Dear Anon,

TOHO’s ‘M.A.’ is either my favourite or second favourite musical EVER. The story and script are SO well written, and the characters feel so real, I have never seen anything like it in the stage media form.

The story focuses on two women with the initials M.A. (Marie Antoinette and Margrid Arnaud). These two women are legit the titular characters and never get their spotlights stolen by others. They are both equally strong and flawed characters in their own rights, no bullshit like ‘she is strong because of GIRL POWER’ or ‘she is strong for the sake of romance’. The writers had the guts to make Marie stupid and Margrid a vicious snake, but also had the skill of never dehumanising either.

I really hope that more people could watch this musical (I offer free English subtitles for A-Version in exchange for proof of legal ownership), so I without spoiling anything essential:

Prologue

This show starts with Fersen receiving news of Marie’s execution. He is well aware that the revolutionaries have grossly dirtied her name for the sake of propaganda, and mourns how the slanders about the Queen will be passed down as canon history. Indeed, the infamous phrases ‘let them eat cake’ or ‘madam deficit’ are what most of us get taught about her, but recent historic research has found that Marie Antoinette was in fact innocent of most claims against her name.

In the prologue, Fersen reminisces about Marie as he knew her, and serves as some kind of narrator of the opening scene. As Fersen sings he brings the audience back in time to meet Marie Antoinette and the events before the revolution broke out.

Main Story

The main story opens on one evening in Paris. Margrid storms into a party organised by Duke d’Orléans where the Queen is also at. Margrid communicates the dire situation the common people are in, hoping that the people with the power to make a difference would open their eyes. The nobility however, seemed most unconcerned, and that event becomes a catalyst of the French Revolution.

Conflict

One of the most amazing things about this musical is the antagonist who wishes to remove the King and Queen, Duke d’Orléans. He has his own view on politics, and just like the people, he can no longer bear to watch France perishing under the incompetence of Louis XVI. This person is the man who would later be known as Philippe Égalité.

He is played by Yoshihara Mitsuo, and the only single actor I have seen in ALL versions that managed to make this ‘villain’ a character so three-dimensional he could be the hero of his own story. In an interview Yoshihara said in accordance with his own performance:

“Can you imagine being the person who has the potential to provide for the French people, but having to witness the country suffer while doing nothing? From d’Orléans’ point of view, if he had not stood up to fight for the legal power to make a difference, he would have been the bad guy here.”

Margrid and d’Orléans decide to cooperate. With intelligence, ambitions and fierce hatred combined, their growing team manage to use the people’s bias against the foreign Queen to turn her into the scapegoat of the toxic monarchy.

Hans Axel von Furusen

Anon, since you asked, I shall do a mini-deep section on Count von Fersen played by Furukawa Yuta. (I only watched the version with Tashiro Fersen once, so I only have an ‘impression’ of him. If you are interested in Tashiro’s Fersen, I trust @wildandwhirlingwords would fill you in on him ^^)

⚠️ If you don’t want to spoiled then stop here! ⚠️

Role

Many would think that Fersen is the love interest of Marie Antoinette, and would therefore fulfill a main role in the musical, perhaps the tragic hero to whom the two M.A.s are the fuel of his heroism. But no, just like I said above, the two M.A.s are the legit titular characters of this production, and Fersen is support cast. Though a phenomenally important role, he never even threatens to take over the main spotlights.

The script for him is relatively minor in comparison to the two leads, but Furukawa’s amazing eye for detail has managed to flesh him out so thoroughly you still know exactly what type of person Furusen is. This ‘fleshed out result’ is something that I have yet to see in any other version of him, even in other musicals, mangas and movies.

Background and Personality

Fersen played by Furukawa is calm, fiercely intelligent, and a jaded war veteran. Having seen the American revolution first hand, he understands the   mechanisms behind mass dissatisfaction and the power of people’s anger. Furusen rushed back to Marie from whom he has separated for years to warn her against the dangers he foresees. As isolated as she is however, Marie cannot manage to understand what the war veteran is warning her against.

“I have witnessed a revolution with my own eyes. I learned that much more than any cannon or rifle, it is thoughts and words that are powerful.”

Except worldly savviness, Furusen is likewise characterised by restraint. As Furukawa himself puts it:

“I tried to approach this role from a platonic perspective. He loves Marie deeply, and he realises very well that only by loving her platonically can she remain safe. Rather than proximity, the more sustainable way of love for them is restraint.”

Indeed, Furusen's love is not a fiery romance, instead it is more akin to courtly love. He constantly tries to maintain a safe distance from the Queen.

Finally Marie and Fersen manage to reunite after many years, and she eagerly grabs for his hand. Furusen’s expression however communicates clear concern, and he respectfully takes a step back.

Furusen is not aloof towards Marie because he doesn’t love her anymore. In a later scene it becomes clear that his restraint is his ultimate display of love; he knows too well how Marie’s reputation can’t afford any more blemishes.

After they sing “because my love for you will never disappear,” Marie attempts to kiss him on his lips, but Furusen quickly dodges, silently reminding the Queen of their respective statuses as Lady and vassal. This is a very noteworthy detail that can only be seen between Furukawa’s Fersen and Sasamoto’s Marie. #HyperDetailedActing

Frustration

Another characteristic of Furusen is his immense frustration. Furusen is constantly desperately trying to find a way to save Marie. But with the ever-growing rumours of Marie whoring around, he finds himself bound hand and foot. If he takes action to help her Marie will be hurt; if he does nothing Marie will also be hurt.

Instead, this famed strategist finds his chances reduced to... being passive-aggressive... After d’Orléans had his first clear victory and the Royal entourage take their leaves, Furusen makes a show out of going up to his foe to warn him. They don’t exchange a single word, but the tension and history between these foes are clear as day.

Furukawa and Yoshihara were very passionate about their roles, and they shared in a talk-show how both of them spent hours together discussing their histories. The amazing chemistry between them cannot be described in words, but the result of their character-building are self-evident in the musical. (Click here for an in-joke between these actors.)

Masculinity and Aura

Furusen displays a very gentle, non-toxic kind of masculinity. As discussed above, he knows when to restrain himself, and he knows when to admit wrong. He is also not shy to show vulnerability, COMMUNICATE, and shed some genuine tears.

Generally he just displays a very elegant type of masculinity, never taking up more space than anybody else. It is very pleasant to watch!

Sass

Furusen is not just elegant though! He also displays a very sassy and sarcastic side that are evidence of his highly critical mind.

In this post I expanded on Furusen’s sass, but to put it very short; Furusen is REALLY funny too. In the race against the clock to evacuate the King and Queen, the King steps out of the carriage and suggests they go for a leisurely picnic, and dismisses Fersen. Unable to defy the King’s command, Furusen then makes a cross while ROLLING his eyes.

So yes, I can’t tell you why exactly M.A. is one of my all time favourite musicals without spoiling the critical things, so I highly, HIGHLY recommend you buy the musical for yourself.

I know this DVD is very expensive, and normally I would not dare suggest anybody just spend this amount of money based on my word. But please, this one will surely NOT disappoint you!

If you really are unsure, @wildandwhirlingwords hosts live-streams from time to time, and she told me she is also willing to take requests if she has the time/capacity. She hosts the streams without subtitles out of respect for me (thank you, dear), but she does give live commentary to explain the essentials. Her blog is absolutely great and contains lots of interesting info about Japanese musicals, and M.A. specifically ^^

Here is the purchase link of Version A (Furukawa x Sasamoto x Sonim) from TOHO Mall.

MASTERPOST How to buy DVDs/BDs, and get Free English subtitles from me.

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[dxxtruction]

Tyrell Wellick - Character profile - (sorta an unprofessional psych analysis) 

NOTE: I’m not an expert and this is also non-exhaustive of everything I could write about Tyrell. Can’t observe every little thing. This is also super unorganized below the cut I’m sorry. 

Words I’d describe Tyrell by: Ambitious, Boastful, Selfish, Controlling, Violent, Impulsive, Emotional, Loyal, Strategist, Enthusiastic, Extroverted, Adaptable, Vain, Desperate, Observant, Insightful, Driven, Fearful, Intelligent, Cunning, Technical, Prepared, Outwardly Friendly, Resourceful, Loathing, Self Loathing, Sometimes Cooperative, Caring, Vulnerable, Fearful, and Influenced.

Psyche: Erratic behavior, attaches own goals into a special person, delusions of grandeur, looks down on and has disregard for many others, has a certain lack of guilt or regard for breaking ethical or personal boundaries, adapts self in order to achieve goals, wearing masks over the more vulnerable and perceived weaker sides of himself, perhaps hiding various amounts of self loathing, maladaptive perfectionism, strong desire for control.

 I’ll avoid anything official and say he likely has some form of personality disorder and/or perhaps an attachment disorder.

Tyrell seems to be driven almost entirely by his own ambitions and goals for his life. Those goals change but he continues on doing anything possible to meet those ends. Believing he is destined to have them over others who seek similar ends. 

He care’s a lot about his appearance, both in how he looks and in how others perceive him suggesting a need to garner their respect and control perceptions. Perhaps fearing rejection and public humiliation. Feels it necessary to hide himself behind the best of outward appearances. Feeling equally deserving of respect and deeply afraid of losing it. The latter suggesting a point in time where he saw himself associated with certain perceived inferiorities (perhaps his family being poor, his accent, a lack of knowledge or skill, a lack of restraint), that still lingers in him even though he’s tried (relentlessly) to escape them.

Tyrell tries to maintain a look of control and professionalism, something he’s well developed in order to get to where he is. With control, having the upper hand, he believe’s he can not lose. He however cracks under the pressure of perhaps not having control by lashing out and acting on impulse, often violent impulse. Regaining a sense of power over the situation in destructive ways that run counter to what he’s trying to achieve. 

There’s hints at a fear of showing weakness and vulnerability suggesting perhaps toxic masculinity and could also be the same fears of rejection and public humiliation. The amount of effort he seems to put into this suggests he fears in some way that he could very well be exposed as a fraud. Tyrells mask is there for a reason and I think that reason is to avoid his fears, of which there are many.

He is aware of many of the masks he wears (but maybe not all of them), and seems to practice and perfect them. He’s a perfectionist: self defeating, even self harming, towards unrealistic goals and expectations of himself, causing undue stress. Tyrell has a hyper-fixation upon inadequacies he sees in both himself and others. This causes quite a lot of black and white, narrow ways of thinking.  

Tyrell can also crack and shed off his mask, showing his vulnerable side when alone or when he is feeling weak or defeated. He cries. I think he feels his emotions fairly intensely at all times. Which may contribute to why he tries so hard on maintaining a different sense of himself which is far more collected. Creating distance from how he feels things in order to see himself as more in control. And as always in order to meet his goals. I get a sense of self hatred, a certain level of shame from Tyrell in the ways he seems to cover up who he is from the world. Perhaps from the amount of things he has bottled up. 

Despite feeling deserving of his goals, he knows you must work to get the things you want, and so he will resort to ANY means necessary. Boundaries mean nothing when it works towards his goals. Conventionality and reason can be sacrificed if needed. Breaking conventions seems (to me) a last resort measure as Tyrell is proven to be sufficient at getting to where he is through his social and technical skills along with keen professional insights and overall intelligence within his field. He is very eager even without the more harmful ways of getting what he wants. These are all factors which make him appear desirable for high ranking positions within his field, and probably prove to him a sense of higher worth and tangible achievement. 

I do want to point out that he is observant of things most people tend to not notice or have foresight on. This quick internal observations lead him towards quick assumptions, making for keen awareness of how others will act, yet he holds strong to the initial judgements he has of people. The skill of reading people seems fairly important if you are to strategize with or against them and Tyrell is always following some type of plan and agenda. While not always in complete control of how he may act or feel he can control and manipulate the direction of his life to the ends he needs. He needs have it planned out for him to feel secure. 

While at first glance Tyrell may seem like only self concerning. He seems to have a pattern of attaching his goals in with a loyalty/contract to a specific person who he does them for. This leans towards delusions of grandeur especially with Elliot. 

In these relationships there is perhaps also seeking consistent validation from them. Going out of his way to make sure they notice what he’s willing to do for them. Idolizing them and desiring these relationships to succeed in the ways he envisions them to. Likely has fears of his own inadequacy to succeed within the relationships goals, and fears that he could ruin the relationship by not succeeding. Leading to a suppressed but present low self esteem and easy influence over his actions.

He feels a strong need to provide for them, and they provide him with something as well or he wouldn’t show such loyalty. (Ie: Ability to seek the highest ideal of the American dream/Ability to rule the fate of the world). In other words they seem to offer a boosted ego or chance towards something he finds valuable to his personal ambitions. He cares about them but can’t ever shake what drives him.

In a world where he can get anything and impress anyone those who subvert that are incredibly intriguing to him, and it also must be incredibly painful when he starts to develop strong feelings of attachment and they reject him. These people (Joanna and Elliot) are withholding and inconsistent in showing Tyrell that validation he wants. Making him have to chase their approval and respect. Which keeps him interested in continuing to succeed for them, to show off and get their attention. (Ex: Joanna’s gifts, Tyrells insistence on appearing good for Elliot). Winning their approval becomes a part of his core driving ambitions to succeed. 

Joanna is the perfect partner to fuel his more worldly ambitions. He wants to provide for her everything and anything which proves they are both successful and victorious in their dreams in life. While Elliot seems more to fuel his delusions of grandeur - he can have ultimate control and power via Elliot’s perceived ultimate power and control. In both instances he wants to share in success, feels this sharing as very intertwined with his life and the direction it needs to go. This intertwining can lead him to accept certain approaches he shouldn’t, but again he’s easy to influence in this position. 

I feel Tyrell fears most of all not having control (like many in this show), when feeling this way he tends to act out in anger. Tyrell uses violence often as a means of control, an outlet for his own anger and rage when he senses a lacking of power in a situation. He is also impulsive when angered showing a instinctive pull towards violence when he feels this way. He lacks a certain control over these emotions, making him erratic. I sense Tyrell does a great deal of work to mask this side of himself from others, at the very least to keep up appearances. (keep in mind I never said he ever did handle himself well.) 

The root causes of all of this is likely some combination of genetics, upbringing, and stress from the crushing weight of his goals. He has pointed out a strong desire to be unlike his father, who he sees as weak and pathetic for not trying hard at anything in his life. This seems to be near the root of his pathos as Tyrell shows he must be strong and in control while always doing anything to succeed. He isn’t afraid of the taboo either and almost seems to seek out what is most ambitious, risky, and rebellious in order to prove himself. Especially when it achieves some greater end. 

Tyrell has two side really, the conquerer and the meek. He is selfishly driven, but easily influenced. Prone to violent behavior, but passionately submissive to those he loves. Willing to do anything to get what he wants, but can be equally vulnerable and saddened by loss and failure. He suppresses himself but is easily emotional and erratic. Driven by success but also ruled by fear. Insightful but also delusional and narrow minded. 

Tyrell may have precarious ways of dealing with situations and getting at his ambitions but ultimately his concerns are always fairly human and usually seem reasonably achievable for him at face value. He wants to provide for his family, make sure they’re safe, he wants to get the position he’s worked hard for (things get ... confused when it comes to Elliot but I think it starts with noticing how Elliot could be a good potential hire to boost his reputation then things just continue to escalate as they seem to toy with one another to his mind). He reacts perhaps with probably just too much passion, and I don’t think he can help it. What I’m getting at it is Tyrell has a very human side to him that’s fairly normal and awkward even, he’s kinda just a huge techie nerd and loves that he is, we see a lot of the normality of Tyrell in 404.