#like whenever im doing a funny work thing
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boxwinebaddie · 4 months ago
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my coworkers: what are u thinking abt?
me: taxes </3 😒
actually me: guidance counsellor jersey 🥺
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spaciebabie · 8 months ago
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shoutout 2 this person in my class who i can tell wants 2 talk 2 me really bad but instead of doing that whenever she has the chance she'll talk 2 whoever else is around and ignore me entirely unless im mentioned by name
#bruh lmao#so awkward. say something you dingus lol#ik you wanna talk 2 me so bite the bullet already#gyatt#spacie spoinks#literally. she was having a conversation with my partner for the project im doing. and like#heres the thing#if im not invited into conversation i usually dont participate#im like a vampire like that#and so like. after they're done conversating she'll just kind of. stand there. this has happened twice now#like dude sdkfjshlkdfj#im not upset by this behavior i have very awful social patterns as well and have been thru this (i am autistic)#am i gonna hafta say something. lol#probably#''hey bro whats up with you. i dont mean like how are you doing. i mean like. whats wrong with you.''#cant say that its not funny when you say it irl only when the ppl you're talking with know you're not being mean 😭#also like. this person has been staring at me lol#which like. makes me flustered so whenever she's around i panic and my face fucking turns red its god awful#for awhile it made uhh. my paranoia get really bad im ngl!!#its already bad when it comes 2 being around strangers but this like made it REALLY bad for a few weeks#im more calm now tho. rational brain won over and im chillin#i gotta work up the courage 2 say something b4 the semester is over or this is gonna bother me for the rest of my life sfkjsdhflkjs#i dont wanna put her on the spot#the only time i see her is when im in class#and . doing that interaction in front of ppl. i dont wanna embarrass her ksjfskjd
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chalkscrub · 6 months ago
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revisiting my roots as an artist - never sketching, never planning, and going straight to the inks. and also drawing traditionally again. with some digital colours
speaking of my roots as an artist, so many people say my art is cute/storybook/wholesome vibes which is funny cause i started off drawing a lot of bloody evil gorey demon things. 14 y/o me would not be happy with me for going down the route i ended up taking - i wanted to be edgy.
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thedrotter · 5 months ago
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re:kinder doodle dump part three !!! drawings with wildly different moods www they are more polished ans complete than my other doodles because. why not🥺!!!
#re:kinder#rekinder#fanart#ryou re:kinder#mami re:kinder#takumiel re:kinder#yuuichi mizuoka#i will now provide commentary ...#the first one i did was the takumiel one lets start with him#that one was done in ms paint MERELY for the sake of me making a speedpaint in the style of 2010's speedpaints#turned out great . put some nightcore on it... not placing it here because tumblr does not take it kindly to me putting speedpaints here#(im still petty about that)#the chie one as you can see. is not a line from re:kinder. it is a line from “If...” another game by parun#where the girl who says it has the same sprite as chie. so i drew chie based on the line. chie in the multiverse...#mami was because i just dont draw her enough for being one of the characters with a drawn portrait and why not#ryou candy because i can ive been meaning to draw him more properly for a while outside of silly little projects i just never got to it#so there he is with the layout of clip studio paint because the drawing looked bland. and i didnt know what to use as a background#i do not use clip studio on light mode. i just thought itd look better with the background. all for composition sake...!!!#now about the yuu drawing i did that this morning its funny actually... if you see it that way i prefer seeing things as comedic if possible#today's morning dread would simply not leave so i decided to draw rekinder because its my go to for whenever im feeling low#and i decided. i will channel my feeling into this drawing because i can i will channel it outwards so i dont have to deal with it#so at first i was very dreadful and sad drawing. but then as i was finishing it#and the drawing looked more gloomy than it had ever had I HAD GLEE ONCE MORE!! IT WORKED!! i did channel it outwards im a genius#so i totally would recommend if you dont want to deal with dread and are in a state where you can draw#you should make your drawing feel it so you dont have to. its great#its like when one manifests their period cramps onto goku from dragon ball z.... at least i do that#i do love goku. what kind of latinoamerican would i be if i didnt id be a disgrace but im not strong enough i know he can fight it
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iratusmus · 2 years ago
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aria0fgold · 7 months ago
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Okay like, I think it'd be too long to put in the tags of the last post so I'm making my own post but ngl that method helped me A LOT. It helped me unlearn So Much stuff by having that first thought, interrogating it, and replacing it. Cuz way back, the thing I'd do is have the first thought, hate myself for it, never try to have it again which isn't helpful At All. And then I reached a point in my life where it was like, have the first thought, avoid it, which is just as worse.
And then last year, when I realized A Lot of stuff bout me, I had to work on unlearning so much during then and like okay, this is like treading the territory of "you gotta be unwell a lil bit to heal" typa thing, like imagining your favourite characters Right There. But mine is like, a lil to the left. Cuz when I realized all the stuff I gotta unlearn, there wasn't any character from a media that can count for that just yet (I got hyperfixated on Cain months after the realization but if I've known him earlier he would've ngl took on the patron saint role in my life of unlearning unhealthy stuff)
So what I did was... used an OC. It wasn't Alec and Ray surprisingly enough cuz in my head they have their own lives and it was a lil harder for me to put them in that role. And it just so happens I have One OC that is specifically made with an awareness that makes it seem like he's a self-insert but not really. It's Alerik. The designated creator of the universe that is practically aware of the truth behind that universe and his own existence so it was easier to pull him. And it worked.
Cuz whenever I do the have first thought, interrogate it, replace it thing, I can't get it right in a way that when I think of interrogating Myself, my brain's immediate reaction is always "hatred" so then when I got Alerik to do the interrogation, my brain couldn't react immediately cuz it isn't just Me, there's Alerik now and he's both me and not at the same time, he's a piece of me. That I love. So my brain couldn't react with "hatred" towards a character I made with love, it worked. I could interrogate myself, figure out "why" I reacted the way I did, "why" I had that first thought, and what I could do moving forward without hating myself or avoiding anything. And I love it. Cuz after a year of just that, slow and steady, I managed to unlearn most of the bad habits and get rid of the self-hate. I love myself now! And the world! And everything just seems so much beautiful this way.
#aria rants#yall rlly just be insane in a way that you gotta pull a character to help with your healing and unlearning of unhealthy stuff#it just so happens that i did it a lil to the left but it still worked! it ngl only works on alerik cuz it comes easy for him somehow#like i dont have to concentrate or focus or anything. if i had smth i need help with in regards to myself he'd just pop up#i still do it from time to time cuz improvement doesnt just happen once! but i dont do it as frequently which is a good thing i think#like whenever i catch myself thinking really negatively im like: whoa there. alerik cmere cmere#and i just give myself a few minutes of silence of figure stuff out. also kinda funny how in order for me to silence my brain's#habit of self-hate. i had to trick it by pulling a character i love in front like a shield just to stop that one habit#like as much as i hated myself back then. all the ocs i made are made out of love. it was where i redirected my love to#so the thought of hating my own characters never rlly crossed my mind at all. even the ''villain'' ones. so my brain couldnt#redirect the hatred meant for Me towards a character i made with a love that i specifically directed to when i couldnt direct it to myself#ya need a lil bit of trickery to get by the habits that your brain has been trained by. continuously. and then someday.#all those bad habits will slowly go away. may not even be permanently but itll be okay! itll come back and leave but it wont stay
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clamorybus · 7 months ago
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we got bacl from grammie's wake. it was surprisingly pleasant despite how sad we were
#i gotta hand it to the funeral home--she really looked like she was asleep#mickey.txt#despite well. the occasion#it was a surprisingly pleasant get together#a lot of her old coworkers from when she worked at the supermarket were there#and i got to see my stepcousins i haven't seen since before covid#and it took my niece about an hour to get fidgety and antsy#which is an impressive for an 8 year old tbh#it was funny after awhile whenever the mood got really low my mom was like 'okay kid--do a cartwheel'#because my niece LOVES cartwheels and there was so much space for cartwheels#it was fun lol#just what grammie loved honestly; everyone sitting and shooting the shit#and the grandbaby/ies being cute#ngl everytime my niece did a cartwheel or jiggled the fidget toy i lent her#i had an instinctual gut reaction of 'SHH NOOO YOU'RE GONNA WAKE UP GRAMMIE'#i miss her already. i never got to bond with her the way i would've liked to#but she was a lovely grandma. the type that always fussed over everyone#'did you want anything sweetie?' 'jen you want help in the kitchen?' 'want me to do anything?' type of grandma lol#she was a worry wort but very sweet. growing up she always sewed us coats and dresses and blankets#she taught me how to knit; like 80% of my knitting stuff used to be hers#she gave me a whole carpet bag of knitting gear and yarn when i was like 14/15#she taught me card tricks when i was kid. she used loved brushing my hair but she used#her old lady metal brush that hurt lol#she used to take us to the library#and she used to take us to the movies a lot as kids but she'd take us to a convenience store first to buy our candy#and as kids we thought that was the coolest most badass thing in the world#growing up we used to spend a weekend at her house once every few months#and on sundays she'd take us to her mom's apartment to organize her pills and stuff#idk. im glad she was in my life but i miss her already. at least now she's with her mom and brother 💕
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dormiloncito · 1 year ago
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me right now
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hellhoundlair · 2 years ago
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sorry 4 this one. not 2 be an rpf guy but i think id actually read j2 rpf if there were any out there that were good and not wildly au
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phantomdecibel · 2 years ago
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actually SPEAKING of Full Speed Ahead-
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heres a lil wip of something im working on inspired by the song :)
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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The bookmark tag was #holder until i think of a tag for these asks but To Be Real even I forgot what it was...
BUT YEAH thanks so much for reading and I'm glad it's :] Intelligible At Least :] obviously I would be up for reading anything that came to mind after putting you and your followers through All That but understandable... A lot of people I've shown the checklist items or pointed out specific behaviors to have actually said similar [i.e. I'm In This Picture And I Don't Like It], so I totally get what you mean, too!
I think a lot of my picks wound up being generalized trauma responses/aftereffects of abuse or neglect [hence I meandered off into just talking about Jo's father half the time], so I guess it's to be expected a lot of them don't read as being CSA-specific or are broadly relatable; it's not like he's supposed to be read that way, after all. I just wasn't able to zero in on many of the more specific ones because I've Never Seen Jo In This Situation Chief I Don't Know What He Thinks About His Name Or His Body Or Mirrors Or Sex Or Affection I Don't Know How Well Or Poorly He Sleeps [Presumably Poorly Though He Has The Second-Reddest Eyes In The Whole Game]
I don't really think I'll have anything to add though unless Infinite Wealth goes off the rails or I actually continue reading the book... so that will have to do... I originally was just riffing on RGGJo's attachment issues, self-destructiveness, and specific entwinement of sexuality/aggression/romance, and his portrayal in my fic lined up pretty closely, so I thought it'd be interesting to apply the same lens to Y7Jo...
But Yeah x2 thank you for the opportunity to talk about it and I'm Glad It's Intelligible At Least x2
THANK YOU i really should change that tag to something better... <- i will immediately forget to do so like a jackass
BUT YA OF COURSE OF COURSE i was truthful when i said it was a real good read (but once again. i have -5 speech skills so i can't properly word SHIT) and was a thorough examination of jo's trauma and how it manifests in him and how it's exhibited through his actions. ALWAYS a big fan of that :)
#snap chats#IN REGARDS TO Jo In Situations that is. VAGUELY my specialty#ive at least thought of jo's attitudes towards affection/relationships#and i Do Not Think he sleeps AS adequately as he should whether it's due to just. Overworking or#If I May Dare To Think he might be prone to night terrors#the Danger Zone of me thinking of Jo In Situations that dont have a lot of background is that i end up projecting a LOT of my issues LMAO#i dont know what it says about me when a lot of those issues seem to fit him#i do try my best NOT to over project of course i try to keep everyone relatively in the bounds of believability to their charas#which is why its funny when i do end up doin a lil projection it works out. Apparently#not sure i could do the same when it comes to jo's POV on his name and body tho. i hate those things bout myself for uh#VERY different reasons LMAOO tho i could imagine jo harboring some feelings of. hm. whats the word.#not Total Disgust But Some and Some Agitation whenever he has to acknowledge he exists outside of being a tool. To Put It Bluntly#cause we know he sees himself as a tool in some aspects- a bullet more specifically. so i can imagine instances where he has to Be A Human#its just. Ew Whats That LMAO YK WHAT I MEAN i do. i know what i mean. mirrors are evil#SORRY IM RAMBLING i shouldnt be.. i got gameritis <- i fucked up my wrists playing sonic riders somehow and it hurts to move#point is i very much enjoy thinking of jo and i enjoy looking at him through a multitude of lenses so AGAIN#thank you much for writing in :] im sorry i have three jewel beetles and a cicada shell for a brain#i am always interested in reading what you have to say tho... cant stress that enough..#truly curious for how jo will be in infinite wealth now that he Doesnt have to be a bullet anymore. what are you like my guy.. lemme see..#now pardon me while i fuck up my wrists more. i do not want to do my job today (i will soon im just delaying the inevitable. as a treat)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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#u kno what i dont like? when i talk abt doing something completely bananas that i would absolutely do if i was even a little less socially#conscious and then whoever im talking to is like lol do it#idk maybe im just slightly distorted abt it but i have a compulsive need to do what ppl tell me to and i kno ppl would think i was real#weirf for doing the things so im just like. r u making fun of me? bc truely i cannot tell#like i dont have a good grasp on how well i read ppl. sometimes i think im ok at it. like i can deduce things from context clues#but if someone is not being clean then its fucking way over my head but idk sometimes i cant tell if im being made fun of#like u kno when u make someone laugh and ur like well i wasnt really trying to b funny. i was just saying whats in my head#so was that nervous laughter bc i said something kinda off the walls or was it laughter at my expense#again im probably just distortion bc my sister used to publicly call it out whenever i was being weird but idk#i just wish ppl said what they thought more. like dont say one thing to my face and then later text me something that indicates u were#thinking something entirely different in the moment. bc that's disorienting and it makes me think i can't trust my reading of ppl#i mean. it doesnt help that i dont look ppl in the face lol but whatever#i should sleep. i have jury duty tomorrow and i pray that i am not selected. tho it would force me to have a day off#bc im fucked up like that. no fun allowed. only work. and not enough sleep :-P#idk why im even thinking this?#i guess bc i was helping one of my lab mates with coding stuff and like idk ive spent way too long around him and i still dont#kno whats going on in his head. like idk hes not too bad but he also is very quick to jump on it when i do something wrong#like when i make a lil mistake i mean. and i think its in a teasing way but idk it feels weird. like he thinks hes caught me fucking up#and im like ...yea? i mean yea that was a dumb thing i did. or like yeah i cant spell or remember plant codes? idk maybe he just thinks#its funny. it doesnt upset me or anything. i just think its kinda weird and i dont get it so it puts me on edge#idk he says things sometimes and im like... ok ur star war5 options make me nervous abt the general opinions u hold but i dont kno how to#manipulate u into a revealing conversation. idk his not that bad just puts me on edge a lil and i have to b around him a lot so i sit here#man wtf is his deal? let me psychoanalyze u#unrelated
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lilac-melody · 2 years ago
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nomairuins · 24 days ago
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RLY EXCITING STUFF i got to be on parttime tooth fairy duty for the first time ^_^
#the tooth fairy missed little mans tooth yesterday and the same thing happened last time so he was quite upset#so i covered really quickly and said that our old tooth fairy (her name was willow) had taken on an apprentice but she wasnt quite used#to the job yet. and then i helped my mom pick out ribbons and stuff 4 the note#a d im super excited to see his reaction :] bc i used to be so happy whenever we got notes from the tooth fairy#when i was little i would write notes like interrogating her sbt what it was like being a toothfairy#and lamp wasnt good at writing so i had to write all their notes as well#and ya. so im just happy that i get 2 do that 4 him#i actually DID THE DROP and then found out that the teeth just get thrown in the trash. HEARTBREAKING#my mom said 'everyone ive spoken to whose parents kept them said they were weirded out' but i wouldve een sooo ecstatic. i could make like a#tooth necklace or something itd be sick... so im keeping them for my kids and itll just depend on if they grow up normal or not i guess.#BUT YA. it was just rly funny and i also literally had a moment of realization after i asked my mom what to do with the tooth#where i was like I just wasnt sure its my first time being the tooth fairy so theres a lot to learn . and rhen i literally gasped and went#oh my god im the apprentice tooth fairy .#we named her ivy bc mine nd lamps toothfairy was named willow so we wanted another tree name#so we figured ivy would work well bc itll be easy for him to sound out and spell if he wants to write a note to her next time he loses a#tooth#im just excited. and hes finally back on a sleep schedule which is huge my parents dont rly enforce anything#but me and lamp worked a bit on getting him back on a schedule sonce school is back on#and he like pretty voluntarily went to bed at around 930#:] so im happy abt that.
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brainrotzora · 2 months ago
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recent ffxiv livetweeting. spoilers through the end of arr patch quests btw.
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#ffxivposting#suicide mention#I GUESS. SORRY#made this account 90% so i could livepost this game better.#moving off my priv twitter to here bc literally only my irl has access and i know he doesnt gaf. i love u bro<3#and im actually going to die going thru this alone to be honest chat. help#just gave my wol a haircut btw :) working on a new fit also hehehe. she's my favorite.#she doesnt have a name because i put a stupid ass placeholder name because i started playing with my Real Life Family. but shes so cutiepie#keep taking screenshots whenever she looks cute in a cutscene which is often. lovely#btw. im aware t.hancred isnt a gayboy. he's a womanizer. which is kind of a gay thing to be. also stuff did happen to him in arr#and he gets pouty about it sometimes which is funny. rip to this guy. but youknow. lol#like if you think about it it's like man that really blows for you huh? but i cant get a good gauge on how much HE thinks about it. hes too#busy w/ his scorned lovers et cetera. as things go.#where im at now is uh. let me check the msq quest list. somewhere around lvl51 msq. chat i miss flying So Bad i am so slow.#by the way i do know the race names. for the record. that guy is a gay ass Elezen(tm).#also im not trying to bully u.rianger(?spelt like that right?) he's nice. his voice IS funny though.#i have not skipped any of this story. even the parts that sucked total ass and shit. my working knowledge is. Okay.#the patch quests were sooooo rough at the start but at least near the end they started ramping up and i got dragged in.#got to yell at npcs bc they were pissing me off so bad near the end there. quite a fun time.#also starting hw story stuff is really funny when youve been playing drg. like hey! i know you!#also ive been saying his name as 'estinen' the whole time wdym it's 'e.stinien'. i hope he never takes off that helmet btw#anyway. i cannot fucking draw my wol. at all. need to get better refpics later i guess.#speaking of. i am not googling any of these guys to draw them because i dont feel like getting spoiled.#yet another L im taking.my stupid baka life. as they say.#you cant hold anything im saying against me here it's almost midnight. fuck i have class tmrw. what ever#ANYWAY. all that to say. i need to talk to someone abt this shit to be honest.#shrug.
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toytulini · 8 months ago
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at the tags on prev post before anyone gets mad at me about being opposed to automation or some shit: i am referencing situations where the "automation" doesnt do shit except to make the human's job needlessly harder, something which was in the process of happening at my old job which was fascinatingly stupid to watch, especially cos in other buildings of the same company they DID employ automation that actually removed steps and made peoples jobs easier etc. automation is fine as long as it makes fucking SENSE. if all youre doing is adding a touch screen to it, youre not automating shit youre just introducing more ways for that entire job to get borked
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