#like when they were all in the monster truck in season 7 he was laughing so much and everyone else thought they were dying

[jameswilsonmybeloved]

I need a compilation of every time Chase laughs at one of Houses lame jokes, even after he's fired from the team and comes back with his shorter hair.

[adamwatchesmovies]

Road House (1989)

Road House makes you wonder what kind of yesmen director Rowdy Herrington surrounds himself with. A surefire way to make a film unintentionally funny is to take a mundane subject way too seriously. This film makes your average season of Yu-Gi-Oh! seem grounded in reality by comparison.

James Dalton (Patrick Swayze) is a professional “cooler”. He will enter even the rowdiest bar/club and de-escalate any fights that break out like no other man could. He's hired by Frank Tilghman (Kevin Tighe) to help transform the Double Deuce into a renowned, classy establishment. Unfortunately, the man with a mysterious past may be biting off more than he can chew.

With that setup, I bet you wouldn’t expect to see threats, vandalism, arson, murder and a monster truck destroy a building in broad daylight but Road House has all that and more. This movie is ridiculous with a capital R. The Double Deuce sees the kind of nightly brawls that would require it to replace every piece of furniture and glassware daily. They must sweep up at least 5 centimeters of glass, alcohol and blood off the floor every night before closing. It’s the grown-up version of Pleasure Island in Disney’s Pinocchio. People are breaking things, dancing on tables, pulling out weapons, throwing each other out of windows, etc. You wonder whether the Double Deuce’s lead singer (played by Jeff Healey) is blind because he got hit in the face while performing, or whether he performs at the Double Deuce because he can’t see what’s going on every night. Mad Max was more civilized than this Missouri club and that was set after World War III!

In this world of chaos walks James Dalton and his set of cool-dude rules that are sure to bring order to the asylum. First order of business? get rid of the problematic staff. I could’ve told you that one. If Mr. Tilghman had any sense he could’ve spotted the one doing drugs, having sex with ladies in the back, or skimming from the till from a mile away. Actually, if he had any sense, he would’ve just burned the place down and rebuilt it from scratch. No matter how much they clean the place, they can't expect the clientele to change overnight, can they? Surely all of the nightmarish patrons weren’t all brought over by the film’s main villain, moneybags Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara). Well, maybe they were actually. The man’s got nothing better to do than systematically ruin other people’s lives for the thrill of it. His character is so flat and badly written the biggest surprise is that he doesn’t turn out to be a rapist - which helps make this movie a lot more fun. He’s so evil you half expect him to get banished by a crucifix at the end.

Road House wants to be cool, wants to be adult so bad it’s one of the most juvenile pictures you’ll ever see. There’s so much nudity in the film and the sex is so gratuitous it’ll make you blush. The violence is equally over-the-top, with what has to be one of the greatest movie deaths ever coming out of nowhere - even though it was foreshadowed ahead of time. You thought what you heard was an exaggeration? Oh, you poor thing.

Road House is exactly the kind of movie you want when looking for something “so bad it’s good”. It has the bad acting, the ludicrous dialogue, the implausible plot, the I-can't-believe-they-just-said-that quotes. Best of all, it’s always moving. It may be bad but it is never, ever boring. This is one for the ages. I’m calling it a must-see if you like your laughs ironic. (April 7, 2022)

[ohheyitsokay]

steal

part 7 of the ‘hey batter batter’ series

pairing: Francisco Morales (Frankie, Catfish) x reader

wordcount: 2.5k

warnings: strong language, mentions of previous substance abuse and mediocre family relationships, a happy, happy ending

summary: it’s a Triple Frontier Baseball AU! Trust me, you don’t need to know anything about baseball.

in baseball, to ‘steal’ is for someone already on base to to the next base when the ball is live, but before his time. 

In this chapter, Frankie takes you out to dinner, and in telling you about himself, accidently goes way too hard, way too fast. 

>>

Frankie called and asked you to an early dinner.

Early, so the restaurant wouldn’t be crowded. Early, so he wouldn’t have the chance to overthink. Early, so the boys wouldn’t catch word and cause chaos.

Early, so he’d have all the time in the world with you, if you wanted.

When he picked you up, neither of you had the time to worry about your clothes or hair or fuss with it, and it was a relief. Someday, you hoped to get the chance to dress up for each other, but for now, casual seemed most fitting. He opened the door of his truck for you, holding your hand as you stepped into it. It wasn’t that you needed the extra help, he just seemed like he wanted to. 

You didn’t see, but his hand flexed, tingling as he walked around to climb in the driver’s side.

The talk came easy - Francisco forwent superfluous pleasantries and when he asked you questions there was no doubt in your mind that he actually wanted to hear your answers. You found yourself spilling about your job, flushing when you caught him watching you talk closer than the road, something soft in his eyes.

It was a stereotype, that a baseball player would like diner food, and you were pleasantly surprised when his truck slid into the tiny parking lot of a mom ‘n pop Hispanic restaurant. It was cute, watching him run around to open your door again, and he asked “Is this okay?” as he helped you down.

In response, you shifted your hand in his until his large fingers were laced with yours, and said yes, of course a little breathlessly. There was a lovely lady both serving and hosting who acted like she knew Francisco, giving him a broad wink and rapid fire teasing in what you could only assume was Spanish. In truth, you were too distracted by the way his thumb was running over the back of your hand, and the smells of corn and peppers and homemade tortillas.

Seated, she asked if you would be alright with anything, and your date looked eager and hopeful, so you would be a monster not to agree.

“So you come here often,” you said when she left. Not a direct question, although you were sure you wanted to hear the story. Francisco grinned.

“Are you flirting with me?” His eyebrows dipped in the middles, betraying a little more hope than he intended.

“Yes?” It was easier to tease as the waitress put plate after steaming plate between you, and a container full of warm tortillas. You spread your napkin over your lap as you thanked her, ignoring the growl in your stomach. As much as you liked that he let you talk, you wanted to know more about him, wanted to give him the chance to say whatever he left out the other night. There was certainly more to the solid catcher than met the eye, learning him felt as natural as your hunger.

“I’m serious though, what should I try first?” You pointed at various things with your fork, and Francisco almost wiggled he looked so happy. It was a dream, having you tucked into the little booth across from him, trust in your eyes.

“The green chili, Anita makes it from scratch regularly and it’s fantastic,” he pointed, eyes watching with joy as you dug into the smothered burrito. Your moan shot through him, warming his whole body more than the food he swallowed in a hurry. “Good, yeah?”

“Amazing,” you didn’t ask again, how he knew, just began filling your stomach. He told you about various dishes, sharing them with you like it was the most natural thing in the world. Eventually, the story came out naturally.

“I used to come here a lot when I first moved to town,” he shrugged. “It’s halfway between the stadium and where my family is right now.”

It was easy to meet his eyes and you didn’t pry. Twirling a long string of molten cheese on his fork, it poured out of him, telling more than you felt like you deserved to know and watching you carefully.

He started at the beginning, how it felt like home, this little restaurant, but safer. His mother and sister lived in a small town nearby. It was messy, his youth, full of shit a kid shouldn’t have to deal with. Baseball had been his way out, his chance at a life he couldn’t have. To be good at something, to have a team to belong to. Clean uniforms and clean money, from prizes, that put meat on his bones and filled out his sister’s cheeks.

He became Frankie, pouring his heart into it until he excelled, working like he needed it to survive.

When the scholarships rolled in, he picked the one farthest away, sending checks from his nightshift part-time home more often than he called. He thought his life was good, that running away was working. Being drafted was a dream come true – and a nightmare. It came with and confirmed nasty truths, about the industry and people who wanted his success for all the wrong reasons. Those first few years were full of parties and bad decisions, chasing highs and losing track of himself in the thick of it all. One night, Santi dragged him back, reminded him why he did all of it, reminded him who they had dreamed of being. Showed him they could still be those people.

“I didn’t really know him then, we played on different teams. But we hit rock bottom around the same time and ended up leaving early from the same party.” Frankie pushed the final few grains of rice around his plate, and you wondered if that was the party Tom had gotten busted at. If they really had rescued each other, more than they realized.

God or fate gave him a second chance, and they got traded to the same team the next season, close to his home. He started visiting, supplying himself instead of just money, still playing the game - but allowing himself to enjoy it, be a human.

A tray of sopapillas came as he was telling you animatedly how bad his mother was at gardening, and how silly he felt trying to help her. It made him glow, his pride at how far he had come and you wanted to hug him. Frankie stared at the soft, puffed pastry, as if realizing for the first time he had no idea how long he’d been talking. Then he pushed his card into Anita's hand and shot you a nervous look. You shrugged, but it wasn’t about the payment, at least not entirely.

“Would you want to take these to go?”

“Go where?”

“I was thinking maybe… to meet them?” There was a silent beat, as your hands almost dropped the plates you’d been stacking.

“Wait, shit, sorry I just –” Frankie had never felt so stupid in his life. He blew it, he definitely fucked this up. He had just told you his entire life story and decided now, your very first date? Yeah, that would be a good time for you to meet his family. Thus far you’d listened and reacted like a dream, as kind and considerate as you’d ever been, but this was too much. 

Your laugh cut off his spiral.

“Okay,”

“What?”

“Okay, let’s do it.” You were shaking your head in disbelief, but god was your smile beautiful. Bright and genuine, it made him wonder again if you felt like he did. Like this wasn’t really your first date.

Like you were as deep as he was, already.

-

On the drive he told you the rest of it. His sister was running from herself like he had, except in sucky, deadbeat men. About how when they had conversation that carried them in circles and he wanted to lock her up and force her into therapy, or when the world of baseball became too much, how he went to that restaurant. How he would eat home cooking all on his own, and breathe until he found the right words for himself or for her.

When you offered him your hand, over the middle console, he took it without hesitation. It was soft and fit into his like it was meant to be, and he was reminded again how in awe he was of you. This was by no means what you had agreed to, not normal under any circumstances, but you were trusting him, rolling with it like he was worth it. 

He wanted to be, wanted all of this so bad he could hardly breathe. 

The rest of his story left almost no time for him to prep you, but when the door to the little mobile home opened, his mama greeted you like she knew you were coming.

You were lovely stepping into his truck with your hand in his, and you were lovely across from him with green chili sliding down your chin as you flushed, but this... was something else. It hit him full force, that you had listened and learned and stayed. With Tom hitting on you, with the mess at the party they shouldn’t have been at, with all of the shit in their pasts, and even this. You were really here, at his mother’s home, kissing her cheek and letting her call you his novia and accepting all of his life, all of him. 

His madre only hugged him after you, and her beam brightened as she watched you follow him, in slipping off your shoes. Every time he saw her, he thought she looked a little smaller - you’re just growing, mi frijol -  but she looked small next to you, too. Her voice was extra high as she cooed, ushering you into the cluttered mobile home, and he could help but smile as he followed, too in love with the moment to be embarrassed of her questions. 

You had listened closely, sympathetic but surprisingly determined not to be pushed away. This felt like simply an extension of that awkward and beautiful dinner, the way his mother welcomed you with open arms and rapid fire questions about yourself. She mercifully left out pushy questions about your relationship as you settled into the paisley couch, and Frankie was as warm and solid against your side as he had ever been.

There were little wrinkles around his eyes as he watched you and her, and as you began asking her questions about herself, he was more sure about you than he had ever been. It wasn’t gone completely, the feeling that this was ridiculous and he’d ruined whatever you had by going unreasonably fast with you, but he did his best to ignore it. Instead he focused on you, something he was learning was good luck.

His heart ached when you fit into his side, practically in his lap as you used him to ground yourself. It felt natural, in an intoxicating way, and he wanted you. Just like this.

When his madre thought she heard a knock and went to check, he found himself rubbing the top of your head with his jaw, his cheek, his nose. The whole night felt like it wasn’t real.

“Thank you for rolling with this,” he whispered into your hair. Your shoulder moved up and down again on his chest – a shrug.

“You’ve already met James, it’s almost the same,” you shifted to smile at him, nad he shook his head before noticing your eyes flit behind him.

At the door was a woman, dark stains under her eyes, belly stretching out the thin fabric of her shirt, and eyebrows drawn together.

His sister.

Then his mother came in pushing glasses of tea into your hands, almost as cool as the introduction, and you settled back against Frankie. Your life had become so strange these past few weeks, but you had known for what felt like a long time now. Together, it would be okay.

-

The drive home was dark, and silent for a long moment as you collected yourself, and Frankie was glad the evening started early.

“So this was a long date,” Frankie said, a question and an apology. You huffed in laughter and he offered his hand to you, saying your name with adoration, imploring you to talk to him.

“It was a lot,” you said, honestly, but you took his hand, thankful for the openness.

“Yeah,” his voice cracked, and you could see him struggling not to watch you anxiously. “I didn't plan on taking you home and all that happening, plus my mom calling you my- ”

“I know, Francisco,”

“Fuck. Do you… do you have any questions? Or…” he was beginning to panic, the undercurrent of anxiety finally uncontrollable.

His sister had been short with you, as much as she’d been with him these past few months. It was a lot, so much more than you deserved.

“Do you regret it?” It was an honest question.

Frankie’s mouth opened a little bit, his eyes suddenly steady on the road, really thinking. Then he shook his head, and a knot you didn’t know you had undid itself in your chest. He used his hand to draw yours to his mouth, ghost kisses over your knuckles, mustache only tickling a little bit. “I want you to be a part of my life, querida.” 

The truck hit a bump, and you felt pressure, and then like you were floating. You nodded, trying to find the words to tell him you wanted that, too. 

Finally, you said, “Thank you for letting me,” and he laughed. It was rich and deep and full of relief, almost giddy as it broke the tension, and you laughed too. He let your hands drop back between you, but didn’t let go, squeezing gently.

 The words unsaid didn’t really seem to matter, as he cruised five under the speed limit towards your home. 

 When you asked, “Why do you still go to those parties?” it was the last thing he has been expecting. The rush of wind by the widows felt loud as he thought.

“I guess… sometimes it feels like I’ve got nothing better to do.” It sounded lame, even to him. That wasn’t all of it, it was more complicated than that, but you understood. After this whole time, you’d stuck around, of course you did.

“What about next time, instead…” The stars were twinkling, winking at you, “You go on another date with me?”

“You still want to?” Frankie had hoped, really hoped, but hearing you offer was something different. Fire in his chest, hot and bright and powerful. When he looked over, you were nodding, smiling at him with a certainty on your face that matched his own. 

“There’s a game tomorrow,” he was half joking.

You laughed. 

“Okay.”

He pulled over under a streetlight to kiss you. 

<<

translations:

madre - mother

novia - girlfriend 

mi frijol - my bean

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge

hey batter batter taglist:

@icanbeyourjedi @studyofawearymind @hnt-escape @athalien @the-witty-pen-name @daffodin @sarahjkl82-blog @pintsizemama @anaaaispunk @pjkimrn @dobbyjen

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH 11

“Did I meet your friends last night?” Kirby asked as he unwrapped his crunchwrap in the driver's seat.

“uuh...kinda? Like Toby was with me when I gave you the Surge but you sorta just ran off with it.” you pause as you sip a bit of your Baja Blast. “Like a fucking gremlin.”

Kirby lets out a snort and lettuce drops from his mouth. He tries to hide his messy eating behind his hand. Failing miserably, you can't help but laugh at your friend.

“Wha' bout the other two? Kieth said you ditched 'em.” For a man who was trying to cover up his mouth he sure had the audacity to try and talk with his mouth full.

“They're Toby's roommates, I haven't talked to them too much.” he nods as you speak.

“Well I promise I'll be more...together,” he makes a sort of questioning sound as he debates if that was the word he was looking for. He can't really think of anything else so he settles for 'together'. “next weekend. They are coming right?”

After a brief pause he gets his mind back in place, “This weekend, picnic's this weekend.” You chuckle.

“Toby said they'd stop by. Don't think any are really people people.”

“People people?”

“Yup” not going to let Kirby rile you up as he often tries. Not that he could with his current brain power. Sleep haze still has him in it's hold despite being “up” for about an hour now.

Out of everyone in your friend group Kirby is probably the one you're closest to. Along with being a fellow Ace he's an ambivert and you two just instantly clicked over dumb D grade monster movies. He jokes you guys must be long lost siblings. Well he only started the sibling thing because multiple Hornets or other members of the committee kept thinking you guys were dating. Since then Kirby takes to purposefully calling you some variation of sibling when he shows any type of affection. It seems even just being referenced to being in a relationship squicks him out. You don't mind though you'd always wanted an older brother and Kirby is the exact type you would've wished for. The funny dork who was super easy to get along with.

Even when he steals your nachos...like he is now.

“I'm starting to understand the Cain Instinct.” you say looking him dead in the eyes. He lets out a roar of laughter and reminds you he bought “breakfast”.

“Dad tax and all that.”

“You're not my dad! Ugly ass doodoo head.”

“Is that what that kid said? I don't think that's right.” another thing you share is constantly referencing vines or tiktok sounds.

This of course led to an argument of what the kid actually said in the vine. Both of you were determined to get home and look it up to prove the other wrong.

After your breakfast Kirby started the truck as you put all the trash into the Taco Bell bag. You switch on his stereo much to his chagrin. Kirby got a CD stuck in the radio and now the only thing he can listen to is a meme mix tape he made back in high school. It was funny the first two months for him and now he prays that the novelty will ware off on you soon.

Though it has been a few weeks since he last drove you anywhere, and what can he say Discord is always a bop.

Kirby drops you off without much fanfare, you both agree to seeing each other next week at the picnic. Is it ironic that you want to call out for him to get some more sleep? Like you are the one who's been up since five AM and it's now eleven. But you have a medical condition, Kirby is just over worked and stressed beyond Hell and back.

Getting inside you have nothing really planned for today and while you could start heading out to thrifts to find something formal for Jo's recital you really don't feel like it. Productivity wise you've already had a pretty busy weekend so no one can really judge you for taking it easy and just merging with the couch for the rest of it. Even you, you can be so tough on yourself sometimes.

British Bake Off is just the thing you need to enjoy the rest of your weekend. A calming low stress but funny baking show. Just turn your brain off and lose yourself in the soothing monotone of the judges. It's nearly six in the evening when you finally shake off your lazy day haze.

Getting up, bakers still baking, you start making a simple dinner. Fried egg on toast sounds good. Also a good balance to your supreme nacho breakfast from this morning. Dressing one slice of toast in butter and the other with butter, a little mayo, and a dash of Tabasco before placing the egg on it. You head back to eat and continue watching the competition. Your meal fills you and gives the energy you need to continue “leisureing”.

After an hour you get up and wash the dishes from earlier. And while you have no energy to actually play any of your video games right now you do want to log in for your dailies.

A quick trip to your bedroom has you grabbing your laptop before returning back to the comfort of your living room. Couch calling you to it's cozy embrace. You half pay attention to what you're doing as you set up your laptop, muscles running on muscle memory more than any conscious effort on your part. You hadn't even noticed your hands flickering across the board and logging into your email.

By the time you do realize you aren't on your game's site you see you have a new email. It's from Barclay.

'Coming to ask for my help?' you think a little too smug that you'd been right about the cooking being too much for the man.

However, that wasn't what he was messaging you about. It seems he and Leo had been talking and the old man mentioned what your plans for cooking were.

Shortie,

Leo says you're making forager's pie for the picnic. Seasons ripe for ramps and mushrooms. You in for a little adventure through new unexplored territory?

...I'm hunting some lobster mushrooms, could use a hand or two Will share the bounty. ~Barclay sent 12:04 PM

An olive branch in hopes you weren't too sore about his rejection from earlier this week. The message and sentiment is lost on you since you got over that Thursday.

The idea of new terrain makes you a bit uneasy, however lobster mushrooms were pretty good and forage finds were really rare. Barclay grew up in these woods he probably knew what he was doing, not to mention he could easily know where to find ramps. Their flavor would really up your pie game. It's settled you're in for a forage date with big foot as your guide.

Am in Big Feet. When are we going? Sent 7:20 PM

Like with most things a waiting game began, down sides to living in a radio quiet community people weren't as attached to electronics because of the limited capabilities. But now that you know Barclay is emailing you, you can check your phone more often. Shutting down your laptop you close it before sliding it under your coffee table as you slide down the couch getting comfy.

It was two hours before Barclay got back to you.

Fantastic! Does Tuesday work? ~Barclay sent 9:42 PM

Barclay must be in a rush to get those mushrooms. You'd been thinking Thursday or Friday at the latest for the freshest mushrooms. Maybe he didn't need them for the picnic but a personal project. From what Jake has told you Barclay often falls into spells of testing out new ideas with the strangest of ingredients. With varying results but mainly positive ones.

Yea sure. Meet at the lodge after my shift? Sent 9:50 PM

Perfect see you then. ~Barclay sent 9:52 PM

Oki Sent 9:52 PM

Now that that has been settled you are free to continue your chill Sunday. Losing yourself to the lulling voices of the judges you hardly notice as you drift off. Warm in your throw blanket cocoon and cozy on the plush of your couch.

You jolt up right panting after being woken up by a loud bang. Or at least you thought you'd heard a bang, Sometimes auditory hallucinations came to you in your sleep no matter how well rested you were. The room around you is dark as the light from your TV is dimmed with Netflix's 'Are you still watching?' pop up mocking you for your marathon.

Without thinking you hit 'yes' and the bake off resumes. With the brightness restored you can see your living room and hallway are completely undisturbed. An auditory hallucination must have pulled you out of sleep. Nothing more, after all your stalker wouldn't get sloppy now, it's only been three weeks.

'That you know of.' seems to whisper and embed itself in your mind.

Shaking off the worrying thought you look at your phone to see it's now quarter till one. You are hungry and don't feel like cooking. Thankfully you have emergency white castles and fries in your freezer for this exact need. Getting up you go to the kitchen to microwave your food. Popping the fries in first you decide to head to the bathroom before that becomes a problem for you.

Before you go down the hallway you do end up grabbing the bat next to the bookshelf. The whisper from earlier clearly hasn't done much to settle your nerves after your rude awakening. Protection in hand you have a little less anxiety about walking down the dark hallway. You'd have to look into installing one of those cheap wall lamps from Home Depot to help you out in situations like this. Either that or a night light in your bathroom, you can probably get the night light done quicker. Maybe Leo sells them, you'll have to check next week.

You made it back to the kitchen after your bathroom break without any surprises, real or imaginary, jumping out at you. Replacing the fries inside your microwave with sliders, you snack on a few while you wait for the rest of your meal.

It's probably paranoia but you can't blame yourself for it as you continue to keep an ear out for any sound of abnormal movement within your home, as you eat and have the bake show low enough to catch the sounds of another person. None come, and you finish your food without incident. You're willing to chalk the noise up to a hallucination and your paranoia as valid but not necessary in this moment. Without much more thought you place your empty plate on the coffee table and curl back up in your throw blanket. Just like before you don't catch yourself as you fall asleep. This time you don't wake up until your phone alarm goes off for you to start your week and head to work.

The week has been much less dramatic than last week had been. But then again it is only Tuesday and you literally have gay brunch this Sunday. There will definitely be some sort of theatrics this week. Whether they come from homosexuals or your stalker is up to God.

Then later today you'll be going foraging with Barclay. And while that isn't anything dramatic it will be an adventure and, you hope, really fun! Your excitement has been tangible all day and you couldn't hold yourself back from focusing only on the clock in the shop all day. Even giddier than normal for the strike of five. With the energy rushing through you it amped up your tics but thankfully you hadn't hurt yourself in your excitement.

Even Nate is beginning to playfully tease you about your “date” with Barclay.

Great he must've been talking to Little Jo. What is it with this family and wanting you to date the lodge owner? Do you just look like the lead in a Hallmark Christmas movie that moved to a small town in order to feel the joy of the holidays? You could definitely get into the role but you don't think Barclay would be the main love interest for you.

Honestly he'd probably be the one all the viewers cheered for but you'd personally go for the puppy dog partner that has a scarred past. You have a type and your type is emotionally wounded and needing of love. That thought had made you chuckle as you and Nate closed up the store for the day.

Nate kept looking over at you throughout the day, and when he heard you giggle to yourself at closing he couldn't help the fond smile that came over his features. He could feel how his brows lifted themselves from their normally furrowed or downward tilt. He'd have let you leave early had it not been for the new procedures Big Jo had set. It's not often that your excitement shows so visibly. It's not often that the Cowell family has seen you happy like this.

But Nate understands it's not the crush that Little Jo seems to think it is, it's something more bittersweet. It's the excitement that comes from finally waning off of being isolated for so long. And boy does Nate understand that feeling. If he had to guess Nate would say you've been alone for most of your life even if you don't act like it. You need these little hangouts with your friends. So he does his fastest close yet. You both are out the door by five after and he bids you goodnight as you head to your respective cars.

With the close tonight being so quick you made it to the lodge and parked in the half full lot just before five thirty. Getting out of your car you noticed a familiar duo sitting on the stoop of the lodge.

'Something's wrong.' is the only thought you have as you walk towards the lodge.

“Hey stranger.” the brunette looks up to you at your greeting.

In this light you can just catch the slight movement of his pupils in his dark eyes as they widen in surprise.

“oh...hey?” he seems confused to see you here. Must not be used to living in a small town yet. He'll learn soon enough that you run into everyone all the time here. Sometimes multiple times a week as it would seem.

“You good?” motioning towards the hand on the back of his neck.

“Yea, fucking Bri-an Mrrow thought I needed this.” Toby moves his hand to show an ice pack that you assume he's been holding to the back of his neck.

“Heat sickness?”

“Nah, the RV's AC busted. I can probably fix it by the end of the week.” you nod.

That makes sense, after all CIPA affects thermal regulation, at least from a basic skim. You really need to get on that deep dive to make sure you're prepared for irregular injury prevention with Toby. Speaking of, the boy in front of you is just sitting here with Connor, why? Even if he's here to get a room at the lodge why didn't he just go in? Connor is a service dog after all not like anyone could turn him away. So why was Toby just sitting out here, especially if Brian thought he needed an ice pack to the neck to keep cool?

As if the universe heard your question and decided to give you an answer, Aubrey opened the door and poked her head out.

“Thanks for letting me put up Dr. Harris Bonkers. I'll keep him in my room during your stay.” Oh that makes sense Aubrey's rabbit normally has the run of the lodge. Even if Connor's a service dog and well trained Dr. Bonkers is still a prey animal with a weak heart. Seeing Connor may have stressed the poor rabbit out, if not nearly given him a heart attack.

Her russet eyes land on you when she opens the door wider to, you assume, let Toby and Connor in. They widen and Aubrey rushes in to hug you before stopping short as if remembering you don't appreciate physical contact.

“Hey YN! I didn't know you were coming over.” She says a little awkwardly mid pose for a hug.

You won't be saving her from the situation. With a smile, that she can't see, you nod.

“Barclay's taking me foraging today.”

Aubrey nods while lowering her arms and takes a few steps back so you and Toby can enter the lodge. The large foyer of the wooden chalet always looks bigger thanks to the deep red tones in it's color palette. From the dark cherry stained wood to the red rugs and table liners. Always feels a lot warmer too, but in a homey sense not the overbearing swelter of heat sense. You can't wait to see what it's like in the winter. Probably so cozy and welcoming with a fire roaring and the murmur of residents and tourist mingling over the winter festivities. There's a swell in your chest at the thought...it seems nice, you hope you're right.

'Hope you see it.' is the dark whisper that taints your thoughts.

You notice Brian and Tim are over at the counter talking to Barclay who is nodding along sympathetically to the trio's plight. He catches your eye and motions for you to wait. You'd been planning to, after all he's currently working.

Turning to Toby you see he looks a bit paler than normal, which should be a difficult feat. Aubrey had left you both, though you aren't sure if she'll be coming back with her girlfriend Dani in a moment or not. You decide to lead Toby over to the obnoxiously plush couch in the den.

It's not like the lodge is off limits to those who aren't guests, and seeing as most of it's workers live here their friends frequently come around thus using the amenities. After sitting on the couch Toby grabs at Connor's ears and starts shaking them. He isn't being rough with them despite the jerky movements and Connor seems to lean into the pet.

Just from what you can gather it seems like Toby has some pretty bad social anxiety. You really aren't sure of what you could do to help. He calmed down at the movie night with a distraction...oh that reminds you, you fell asleep on him. Figuratively and literally.

“I'm sorry for falling asleep on you.” probably not the most tactful or elegant way of bringing this up.

Toby takes a minute to register you words. Not taking his eyes off Connor or ceasing his movements he says, “Eh.” as he gives a muted shrug and continues, “Your friend...Kirby...gave you a ride right?” He said Kirby's name like a question. You'd have to formally introduce the two at some point. Probably this weekend.

“Yea, he's sorry about being a weirdo Saturday, said he'd be more “present” this weekend.”

Toby doesn't say anything more and you let a silence fall over you two. It isn't awkward, at least to you, and you're content to just sit and wait for a while. However, it doesn't take long before Tim, Brian, and Barclay are all entering the den.

“Knew they'd be here,” Barclay says to the other two, “Sorry 'bout the wait YN, Jake's comin' down to give these guys a tour an' set them up. We'll leave when he gets down.” you nod and give the other two a muted wave 'hello'.

It isn't long before Jake is sliding down the banister and leading the group out of the room before Barclay can get on to him about his juvenile behavior. Sighing at the twenty-three year old's antics Barclay turns to you and looks at what you're wearing. Hiking boots and jeans, perfect but one thing is missing.

“C'mon let's go get duct taped.”

“Duct taped?”

“Yup, keeps ticks from climbing up you.”

So you make your way to his office where he sticks duct tape, sticky side up, around each ankle and just above and below your knees. All while explaining how if a tick started to try and climb up you the tape would make them stick and stay there. You'd end up with less ticks on your torso and hopefully none at all.

In no time the two of your were in the forest two baskets in hand and hunting for your immobile prey. The ramps were super easy to find and the first you knocked off the hunt list. Barlcay said they grow in the same area every year, knowing this you may have to come and grab some the next time they're in season. You can already taste how good your forager's pie tastes with the new earthy tones. Actual mushrooms were much harder to find, aside from the lobster mushrooms you were really only looking for some hedgehog mushrooms. They aren't rare or extremely difficult to find but you two aren't having any luck.

Barclay suggested a spot just past a little pond, and while you didn't find mushrooms you did find some Black Raspberry bushes. Not one to let ingredients go to waste Barclay starts picking some, and you grab some too. Maybe baking an easy Black Raspberry cobbler will be your consolation prize. Though Barclay isn't as placated as you are with the unexpected find. The man is still on the hunt for his lobster mushrooms. So you continue scouring the path and a little bit off it in search.

“We should head back, it's dark.” you state plainly after a few hours of searching and remaining mushroom less.

Barclay agrees, but makes the comment that he'll probably come out again in a day or two.

“If I find any I'll still give you some or helping out today.”

“It's fine I've got my treasures right here.” You shrug it off, because while you are a bit disappointed, you still have ramps and the opportunity to make cobbler. It's not all bad. Barclay on the other hand, you know, will not be letting this go so you expect he'll hand you a container of mushrooms sometime in the coming month if not this weekend.

Getting back to the lodge Barclay helps you cut off the duct tape and disposes of it and the hitch hikers you picked up. He sends you off to shower and check for stragglers before he would allow you to go home. Thankfully you had the foresight to bring a change of clothes and after retrieving them from your trunk you do as you're told.

Barclay was right you hadn't had a single tick on you and you feel much better after a shower. Getting out you already smell the alluring aroma of Barclay's kitchen. You must have taken a bit longer than you intended if he was already done with his own shower and already cooking for the lodge. Heading downstairs with your duffle bag in tow, you are stopped by Dani at the door.

You haven't seen her in a bit so the two of you catch up and have a chat. After a bit Aubrey comes in with a Tupperware container of grilled salmon and veggies over rice.

“Oh I see, you were a diversion.” you said looking at Dani as you take the container. Dani gives a sheepish smile before running off to the dinning room, and after sending you a coy smile of her own Aubrey follows after.

You know you're more than welcome to join them, but you really don't have the battery for that and just want to decompress at home.

“Thank you!” you call out into the lodge, only leaving after hearing the distant chuckles drifting through the hall.

Opening the door you run right into someone. Looking up you see Toby, but he isn't wearing a mask. Instead he's wearing a large bandage on his face to cover the hole. In his hands is a box of similar bandages. Guess if they're staying for a bit he'll need them around the others.

Should you mention the others wouldn't say anything? That this whole place was like Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, but for the misfits or the weird and disowned? You aren't really sure it's your place. And you aren't really sure you're comfortable with how comfortable you've gotten with Toby. You're probably crossing some boundary by over analyzing him so much. And he doesn't even know you're doing it.

Toby knocks you out of your head when he backs away and gives you space to exit the lodge.

“Get home safe.” it falls out of his mouth so easily.

You've noticed he has a habit of saying that...why? There you go over analyzing him, you need to stop. Shaking yourself from your thoughts this time you look at Toby with a smile.

“I will...I think you'll like it here.” when you're in your car you want to slam your head on the steering wheel but Toby is still watching. Why did you say that, you're so weird.

[julia-brookes]

Rhys x Reader (My Inner Demons)

Synopsis: You are a university student who is majoring in Computer Science. Not wanting to deal with the hassle of renting a dorm, you become roommates with Ava. You're pretty content with your life... until a handsome demon named Rhys sweeps you off your feet.

Word count: 2760

The college life was not at all like you expected it to be. That glamorous illusion of nightlife and party life was shattered as soon as you arrived to your first class. Sure, you've been to fraternity and sorority parties here and there, but that was only on the rare occasions that you had no assignments to worry about. Your time was quickly dictated by the immense amounts of homework and projects your professors assigned you.

You heaved a sigh, scanning your Introduction to Computer Science; Volume 7 textbook. It would be yet another all-nighter for you. Cans of Red Bull were sprawled out throughout the kitchen table and floor. Your professor decided to give you yet another ten page homework assignment. Good grief, how does the professor have time to grade all these papers? you thought to yourself. A yawn escaped your mouth as you peered at your computer's clock. Oh boy, 3am! Sarcasm dripped from your remark as you typed a stream of code into your program. You were almost done, just another page to go and you would be free from the clutches of the monster-sized homework assignment.

It was hard enough that your professors expected their students to have no social life, but you also had to deal with a handful of quite lovely demons. The sarcasm was strong -- perhaps you should have majored in sarcasm instead of Computer Science. Of course, some of the demons were less trouble than others. Pierce, for instance, never caused trouble. He wasn't a demon of many words and you often welcomed his company whenever you studied for exams. Asch and Leif were another story. Oh boy, did they make you want to tear your hair out -- even more so than your professors. You didn't mind Noi's company, only when he wasn't crying over Johnny.

Rhys, on the other hand, was is different story. He, in many ways, was like your equal. His willingness to learn about both the material you were studying, and you as a person was a breath of fresh air compared to the cliquiness of the university students and the rest of the demons. Rhys was a good man -- er, demon.

4:25 am: you were finally done! You saved two copies of your papers and turned it in. A massive weight was lifted from your chest, and in a blaze of glory, you left your computer and books on the tables and crashed onto your bed.

The morning sun peeked through your curtains, shining directly onto your face. Bloody he-, you almost cursed, turning to face away from the windows. Today was a Saturday, one of your only two days off, and you were going to take advantage of this.

Just as you drifted back to sleep, a loud shriek echoed throughout the apartment. You groaned in agony, not on your day off! Fine, if the universe didn't want you to relax, might as well use this time to be productive. Lugging yourself off the warmth of the mattress, you made your way into the living room. And of course the demons just had to lounge in the living room. Just what you needed on your day off: a circus. It wasn't long before Ava bursted through the bathroom doors, fury burning in her eyes. Something inside you warned you not to ask about earlier.

"Listen up! If I'm going to be your prisoner, then we're gonna have to lay down some ground rules!" Ava turned to each of the demons. Asch was the first to respond.

"As a prisoner, you don't get to MAKE rules." He asserted, leaning into Ava's face. This was going to take a while...

The door rang. Ava turned to you. "(y/n), would you please get that?" You nodded, heading to  the door.

You came face-to-face with Mrs. Oats."O-oh! Mrs. Oats!" you greeted her.

"Oh (y/n), I've been so worried about you!" The elderly lady smiled.

"Thank you for your concern, Mrs. Oats! I'll be fine once finals season e-" Mrs. Oats cut you off.

"Oh, no, dear! I heard you screaming all weekend! I was especially worried when I heard you screaming for three hours straight!" You blinked in confusion, only to nod along to her story. "I almost forgot! Do you think you could bring this to your grandson for me? You always deliver things on time and I appreciate it so much." She held up a finely wrapped gift box, you laughed awkwardly in response.

"Sure, I can do that." You took the box from Mrs. Oats.

"Oh thank you, darling! Now, what were you screaming about last night?" She questioned you.

"Oh! you heard? I'm so sorry!" This was awkward. You knew that the professor's homework would often cause you to scream and pull your hair out, but you never knew that you were that loud... "My professors have been assigning a lot of work recently an-"

"(Y/n) look! I figured out how to put clothes on!" Rhys lifted his arms out to a t-pose position, motioning to the sleeves on his shirt. Pierce was not far behind him, with a perplexed look on his face.

"No one saw him do it and he won't tell us." Pierce remarked. As much as their company was appreciated, or tolerated, now was not the time. You did not want anyone to get the wrong idea. But Rhys continued/

"That's because it was a test from the sorceress and I passed again." A smug look washed over Rhys's face. Oh, you really wanted to smack them right now.

"Shoo! Not now!" Your brow instinctively furrowed in annoyance as they turned the corner, leaving your sight. You turned to face Mrs. Oats. "ahaha, yeah..." Something glistened in Mrs. Oats's eyes.

"Oooohhh, I see what's going on here," She winked at you. and of course, she got the wrong impression.

"N-no, really! It's just from my homewo-" Mrs. Oats winked at you again.

"ah, I was young once too. I'm glad to see you're in good hands!" She smiled.

"Prisoner!" You heard an authoritative voice behind you. "Get over here now!" Asch ordered. ohno.ohno.ohno.ohno. Thoughts  wurred in your head.

"I'm sorry, gotta go!!!" you slammed the door shut, only to hear 'I was wild once too, no shame if you've got game!' fading into the distance. "Bloody hell!" You ran into your shared bedroom. The last thing you needed was for your classmates to start thinking you were a nerdy girl with a wild side. All you wanted to do was to get your damned degree.

You returned to the living room; the first thing you witnessed was Ava hugging her knee in pain. Your attention was turned to a cat, one you've never seen before... Rhys was the first to break the silence, suggesting that the other demons learn how to put on their human clothes. You spoke next.

"Er, right... I have to put mine on. I have something for Jake..." You trailed off before returning to the bedroom as Ava followed you. You debated whether or not to tell Ava about Mrs. Oats before letting it all out. It needed to be said. Ava was sympathetic and patted your back while comforting you from your embarrassment, after all, Mrs. Oats had a tendency to... spread the word around to anyone who would listen. You heaved a sigh before getting dressed and heading out to the living room.

"All right guys, here's what's going to happen." Ava clapped her hands. "Rhys, you're going to come with (y/n) to deliver this present since you were the one to figure out human clothes the fastest." You stared at his figure, and wow, was he well dressed. Perhaps you never realized it, but his human clothes suit him well. They were classy enough for even the preppiest of college students, but also contoured his muscles beautifully.

The others let out low groans as you made eye contact with the brunette demon. You flashed him a small smile before you heard a subtle 'not fair' from Pierce. You couldn't help but giggle at  his jealousy.

"Don't worry, Pierce, I enjoy your company just as much as I enjoy Rhys's." You winked at him flirtatiously. When did you get this confident? Only the universe knows.

Before you knew it, you and Rhys were off into the city. You were eager to make the visit quick, you wanted to cherish the time you had with Rhys. "come on, Rhys, let's go before Mrs. Oats's grandson gets any ideas." You motioned to him to follow you. Rhys squinted for a second before asking for you to elaborate.

"Ideas? What do you mean?" You stopped in your tracks before turning to him, wondering how in the world you were going to explain what you were implying without making the conversation awkward. The clock was ticking, and you scrambled for an explanation before settling on changing the subject. To your luck, The Ice cream truck was right there, calling your name.

"ICE CREAM!!!" Your outburst came as a surprise to Rhys, who stood there on the sidewalk, watching you knock some kid over to order the goods. Oh boy, and were you out of breath, perhaps you were not in the best of shape, but you were too laser focused on the task at hand: order ice cream.

"Ah, (Y/n)," the truck keeper smiled, turning towards you. You slammed a ten dollar bill onto the table. "Can I get my usual please?" The man laughed as he turned to fetch your order. "actually make that two, I deserve it after those dang professors decided to torture me with--" you shuddered "-- math, ew..."

The clerk turned around with your ice cream. He took note of the male behind you before excitedly remarking: "oh, it's for a friend! Then it's on the house!" You blinked in confusion and turned around only to plant your face into Rhys's chest. Damn, he may not look it, but he's ripped! It was almost enough to distract you from the clerk's remark. Though mildly offending, you couldn't deny free ice cream. You thanked him before handing Rhys his ice cream.

"Come on, let's go eat." You motioned him to follow you again as you led him to an empty table-for-two in he park.

You never realized how graceful Rhys was. The way he carried himself was one of a dignified nature but there was something comforting about his aura. You felt as if you could let his guard down around him, to completely expose yourself to him. The two of you talked for what seemed like hours about human culture. Rhys nodded his head, taking in this new information. Every minute you spent with him felt like seconds...

Your eyes met Rhys's for a moment. He was squinting again; it was a quirk of his that you noticed. He would often do the same when you explained the concepts that he questioned when scanning the Computer Science textbooks. You couldn't help but giggle. Rhys looked up from his ice cream, shooting you a questioning look.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, tilting his head to the side -- another quirk that you noticed when he didn't understand something. It took you a moment to think of what to say.

"Sorry," your eyes soften, "I couldn't help it. I noticed that you squint a lot when you take in concepts." You could have stopped there, but before you could stop yourself, out came the words: "I think it's cute." Shi- I really just said that out loud huh? Oh well, might as well own it, right?

"Why, thank you, (y/n)." He flashed a smile. "There are still many things I still don't understand about humans and their culture..." Rhys continued. You smiled.

"Well then, I'd be happy to answer your questions.... But first: try the ice cream, it's melting." You pointed to his hand. Rhys took a bite out of his ice cream. His eyes lit up immediately.

"This is amazing!" Rhys's eyes widened before finishing the whole thing. To be frank, you were quite taken aback by how fast he finished. You finished yours soon after.

"Let's go, I want to make sure the others aren't giving Ava a hard time." Rhys stood up from his seat, offering you a hand up. Muttering a small "thank you", you took his hand and helped yourself up.

As the two of you were about to leave the park, an idea flew into your head. You wanted to spend more time with him, some alone time; you wanted to get to know him better. Perhaps out of nowhere, you had the urge to call out to him, to ask him to spend some time with you... you called out to him, "Rhys, let's take a detour..." you smiled up at him. "May I have your arm?" Rhys squinted again.

"Yes, but, why?" He cocked his head to the side in confusion as he offered you his arm. You simply winked and wrapped your arms around his. It was then you realized just how muscular he was. His toned arms held your own stuck-like arms stable against his. It was a comforting sensation, you felt safe in his arms...

Meanwhile, Rhys was realizing many things on his own as well.... Your touch sent a shiver down Rhys's spine. It was a rather odd sensation, one that he hasn't felt in a long time. He attempted to my no mind to the feeling, but something about this just felt right. The demon tried to logically access this situation, wondering what would have caused this feeling, and why.

"Where I'm taking you is a secret, one for me to know, and you to find out." you said, escorting him further into the park. It didn't take long to reach your destination: the fountain. Rhys looked at you in confusion as you detached yourself from his arm. "This is a fountain, I'm sure you've had something similar to this in Daemos..." you reached into your pocket for two quarters. "I wanted to teach you another lesson about human culture before we returned home." You cast him a somewhat bittersweet smile before placing the coin into the palm of his hand. "Now, I want you to think of a wish... something you want to come true..." Rhys closed his eyes and mused in silence before fluttering his eyelids open. "Did you make a wish?"

"I did," he replied. "What do I do now"?" He questioned you, staring at the silver quarter in his hand.

"Throw it into the water, like this..." you closed your eyes, focusing your thoughts on your desires. Perhaps you weren't happy with your major? Or perhaps you wanted a certain someone to come into your life? There were so many things to wish for. But for now, you focused on one wish and one alone.... you opened your eyes, giving your quarter a determined smile and tossed it into the base of the fountain. The silver coin skidded across for a few bounces before landing in a spot, creating a rather large, for a coin, ripple.

Rhys studied your actions before trying it on his own. He threw his coin into the water, creating a splash. He was still rather confused. You sensed this, and began: "Humans throw coins into wells or fountains and make a wish. Legends say that if you're lucky enough, your wish will come true." You tried your best to explain to him a rather childish concept. Thankfully, Rhys understood.

"What did you wish for?" Rhys asked, perhaps out of curiosity.

"That's for me to know and you to find out. Your wish won't come true if you tell it to others..." you quickly explained, offering him a lukewarm smile. Rhys's curiosity seemed to peek.

"Then will my wish ever come true?" You couldn't help but giggle. His questions were similar to those of a child's, and it was adorable.

"Someday... maybe all our wishes will come true...." You contemplated your wish before turning your attention back to the fountain. "We should go, Rhys."

"You're right, (y/n)," Rhys offered you his arm to escort you home. Heat rose to your cheeks as you gracefully accepted his arm.

You were unsure of what the future would hold, or where your friendship with Rhys would go, but one thing was for sure, you would cherish this memory.... this day off...

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Ghostbusters (The Eighties Blasts Collection, Part 7.)

Description: Jim Hopper died as a hero. But with that, one certain problem rises up - who will now lead the cops of Hawkins? Hopper thought of that - he decided to write a letter, naming his niece, nineteen-year-old student of Indianapolis police academy, Y/N Hopper as a sheriff deputy in a letter. But anybody in the town doesn’t have a clue that being a cop in Hawkins is way more dangerous than it might seem.

A/N: The story is finally starting to settle down and I am into that big time! Also, I almost freaked out myself during writing this part, inspired by The Upside Down and Stranger Things from Stranger Things Soundtrack for season one by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein.

Warnings: THE MONSTER.

Word Count: 2.7 K

Tagging: @charmed-asylum​ @nemodoren​

Master list: The Eighties Blast Collection

The car's engine got quiet when you stopped the machine in front of the old lady's house. It didn't stench when you smelled the air with closed eyes and breathed deeply. But you turned your head to Steve.

"Do you... Smell anything?" - You asked with a frown and Steve shook his head. Then he inhaled another air to his nose and shook his head again.

"No. I don't smell a thing. That means that there's nothing to investigate and we can go back to the downtown..." - He tried to sly his way into your head, but you only checked your loaded revolver and the battery on the tight leather belt. You swooped the black turtleneck sleeves down and adjusted your uniform a bit. You got this.

"Where are you going? It's just an old house, Y/N, really, it's nothing." - Steve asked as you put your raincoat and stepped out of the old Chevy truck. When he figured out that you're not coming back, he got our too and ran after you in his jacket, staying by your side.

"That is definitely not professional, Steven." - You said annoyedly and knocked on the door.

"You're only nineteen and you're a cop. Shut up about professionality, Jesus." - Steve rolled his eyes and looked around. It was a quiet neighborhood and the houses were far away from each other - this is what small-town intimacy meant.

Nobody could say what is going on unless you were loud or liked to express yourself in other ways. So it wasn't as unusual when nobody knew what is going on in your own yard. But something wasn't adding up then. Why would anybody called the cops if they didn't know what it's up? Somebody must've seen or heard something. It couldn't just be a... Stench. Could it?

"There's something that isn't adding up to me, Steve." - You mumbled and almost jumped away when the door opened all of a sudden. But you kept your feet cold and your face serious. You were an authority after all. Steve had an answer on his tongue but decided to say anything in the end.

It was an old lady in a red jumper, with black-ish hair and glasses. And your blood froze down when you saw her. She was pale like a dead man, her eyes were weirdly stuck out and insanely blue just as her lips and teeth were in a tense, stuck smile. She looked like her face has a spasm. She looked... Weird.

There was something completely and utterly wrong about that woman. But you couldn't name what exactly it was. And you were not allowed to judge since you were a cop, someone who has to help and protect people no matter what. So her face? That wasn't a thing that should scare you away.

"Hello, Mrs. Duffer. I am a local police deputy Y/N Hopper and this is my colleague Steven Harrington. Would you mind if we come in and ask you a few questions?" - You smiled at the terrifying woman and controlled the walkie-talkie on your shoulder. You needed to tell Anderson if you would decide to investigate the house.

"Of course, come in, come in." - Her low, gnarling voice told you as she turned back to walk into her house. Her movements were weird, to say the least. She moved like a... Puppet. It wasn't natural at all. You checked Steve with a quick look before turning your walkie-talkie on.

"Anderson? This is Hopper. Do you copy?" - You muttered and turned away from the door. But the signal was just quiet like there wasn't anybody on the other side. - "Anderson? This is Hopper. Do you copy?" - Just as the first time, the wave was silent.

"Can it be the boys playing around with the signals? Could they mess it up somehow?" - You asked him quickly, but he shook his head. It was a Thursday midday - you two were at work, of at least you should be, and the boys had a holiday. Also Cerebro, some machine that Dustin had created wasn't disturbing the other radio waves normally.

"Okay. Anderson? This isn't funny. It's Hopper and I'm going in. Over." - You put the walkie on your shoulder and looked at Steve. You silently touched his shoulder and made him turn away for a moment. - "Something is... Wrong. My walkie-talkie went dead just like that. It shouldn't be a problem to reach here from the station... But... It's completely dead. I can't even hear the static, nothing. Like there are no radio waves here."

"Your walkie talkie went off on its own?" - Steve asked and touched it so he could try on his own.

"Steve Harrington here. Do you copy?" - He tried as well and stood there for a moment with his hand on his hip. He looked you in the eyes and rose his eyebrows. - "Yeah. It's out."

"Oh, thank you, mister genius." - You took it out of his hand and hooked it back on your shoulder. - "Now listen to me. You need to stay close, if anything happens, don't forget that I am the cop and that I will protect your kids, okay? Stay close, don't talk and do as I say. Nod if you understand." - You pointed your finger right up to his nose. He slowly nodded and you nodded as well.

"Alright, Mrs. Duffer. I and my colleague are now coming in." - You yelled and walked into the small hall. The house was definitely old and dusty, that lady wasn't the cleaning type. But something still felt kind of... Odd. - "Mrs. Duffer? Where are you?" - You walked into the silent, dark kitchen and looked around. Like if that weird, old lady just disappeared into the thin air. She walked out of nowhere, freaking you out.

You looked at Steve and remained silent. You were the authority, you were the cop - and for that, you needed to stay as calm as possible.

"I wanted to prepare you some cookies, do you like them? I heard that youngsters like cookies and sweets." - Her tensed face watched the both of you like she wanted to bite your head off. You just tried not to look at her and instead you looked all over the place. There were opened chemical bottles next to the sink, but the house was definitely not clean. Torn newspaper laid around the table, there was mud on the floor, almost a thick layer of it. Like if somebody dumped that place in water. The cabinets were full of broken plates... Something happened in that house.

But then you saw it. A family photo hanging next to her fridge. The woman there was relaxed, smiling, she was fine. She didn't have that weird, tensed expression, she wasn't looking like a clown. Whatever was with you at that house, it wasn't Mrs. Duffer at all.

Then you shook it off. It could just be an old photo. And people change over time. That was it.

"That's nice of you, Mrs. Duffer, but I don't want any. I just ask you a few questions and then we'll leave." - You smiled at her, still not looking to her face while standing up next to Steve. Something made you feel unsafe - and he didn't feel as well. Then it hit you. That disgusting stench. The thing the neighbors described to Anderson. You almost threw up on the spot.

"Okay... Shall we?" - You looked at her with an urge to puke into the sink and she nodded at you with her weird, puppet-like moves. She almost broke in her waist when she tried to sit down and you heard as something... Broke inside of her.

This was your first time doing something serious as a cop and Anderson sent you to some freak house. Great.

"So, have you noticed something weird in your neighborhood?" - You took out the notepad out of your back pocket and clicked your pen, smiling sadly while you took a deep breath in with your mouth. Steve checked you with his look and leaned his ass into the counter behind him.

"No. Should I, dear?" - She looked at you with those crazy eyes and you nodded, writing something down and showed it to Steve while you glanced over the lady. He read it in the most secret way he was capable of.

'CHECK THE FAMILY PHOTO AND TELL ME IF YOU THINK THAT SOMETHING IS GOING ON'. Steve nodded almost invisibly and went to check the photo out.

"No disappearing food, maybe chemicals? A strong stench? You couldn't smell it?" - You asked, eyeing Steve's back. Mrs. Duffer was, thanks to god, watching you with her bestial and hungry eyes. You felt like a slice of fucking grilled pork. 

“Oh, I didn't, darling.” - The old lady smiled at you again, showing you her mouth of fake teeth. You didn't have anything against that - just their condition was scaring you like hell. They were yellow and bloody. At that moment, Steve gave you a slight shook of his head, which was just the signal you needed - just to be interrupted by a creaking on the attic.

And it wasn't any creaking which could be just dismissed like that. It was so loud that you almost jumped on the spot. You shot your look there, looking at the old lady with a question.

“What was that, do you keep some... Animals out there?” - You asked in a breathy voice. Mrs. Duffer just laughed it off. At that moment, your brain was completely empty. What should you think about that lady? She looked like she crawled right out of Steven King’s novel, her house was looking like if a fucking hurricane stormed through the place and a strong stench could be smelled all over the place. Plus that loud creaking. You were on thin ice - this was your first intervention ever.

You tried your best to stay professional, but it was bringing you just chills.

“Oh no, sweetheart, I have just ghosts out there.” - She laughed as if it was a joke, but it sent chills down on your spine. It sounded like squeaking in your ears. 

“Can we have a look there?” - Steve asked out of blue. You shot a look at him and he carefully rose his fingers to calm you down. You subconsciously touched the revolver on your belt. - “You know... Investigation purposes. We will just have a short look and then we will leave. Alright?” - Steve said in a calm, slow tone. He was actually pretty good at this, you needed to say. He was humble and charismatic, and that actually calmed you down.

“I mean, if you need to, darlings, I will let you look there. You are not going to find anything there anyway, I tell you that.” - She laughed again and then reached her palm for Steve to help her stand up. He did and he was really gentle with her. Steve couldn't tell you, but he felt how ice-cold and sticky her skin was, which actually scared him. Old people were usually nicely dry if you know what Steve had on his mind.

She led you to the ladder which was leading into the attic and said that Steve can open it up. The stench that came out of that place almost made you faint. You gagged in your own mouth a bit, turning away from that place.

“Go on, go on, I will wait here.” - She said quickly, throwing her hand in the direction of the attic. Steve entered first, giving you his hand to hold on it as you climbed the stairs up. And men, something definitely rotted there. At first, you had the feeling that the old lady maybe went mad and she was killing animals. 

“Jesus, can you smell that?” - Steve turned his head at you and tried to cover your nose with your sleeve, so you didn't have to smell that. 

“Yeah. Yeah. Try to search for the source. If she’s truly abusing animals as I think, there must be some rotten corpse.” - You reached your hand to lighten up your surroundings. There were only two small bulbs for a huge attic, so you couldn't see shit precisely; at least you got your flashlight prepared. 

There were a ton of old things covered under sheets - old furniture, paintings, some boxes with clothes, old cages for small animals. You stopped for a minute at those. To your bad luck, it could be seen just with the eye that those cages weren't used in ages. They were old, rusted, the metal was basically crumbling under your fingertips.

“You got something over there?” - You stood up, turning your flashlight at Steve.

“I can't really see for... Shit, was is that? Ew!” - He shouted loudly. You slowly walked across the huge attic to him, looking at weird, brown jello on the ground. Late you realized you were staying in a track of blood. But it wasn't normal blood there was something abnormal about it. Before you could inspect that, you heard creaking on the other side of the attic. But before you could catch glimpse of anything, there were only sheets moving caused by the wave of air something created. Steve rushed to the attic stairs while you followed the trail through countless rows of boxes.

“Y/N, where is that old lady?” - Steve shouted to the back so you could hear him, but his question was abrupted by your screaming, coming from the depths of your lungs. 

Before you could stop yourself, you threw up to your right side. There was a rotten, staggered body laying down on the ground - parts of it were even missing. Clearly, you could still say that it was an old lady before that - the short curls, eyes, lips. Whatever spoke with you downstairs, it wasn't Mrs. Duffer. Because you were looking at her corpse. You were too shocked to even move or make a single sound, your eyes were glimpsing at the body with its left forearms torn away just as her bitten leg and stomach and scratched neck. 

Whatever killed her, it was brutal and animalistic, yet it had found the decency to hide that body. It was showing some kind of... Intelligence. 

You didn't even notice that Steve was standing beside you, looking at the corpse. A creaking made you look from it again. You wanted to point your flashlight at it, bit stopped working. Just like the bulbs. You could only see its silhouette - a slim, almost sinewy pale body resembling a human one, standing on two legs with something that looked like a head.

“Oh no, no, no...” - You could hear Steve whispering, but you couldn't tear your look away from that thing. It was moving slowly and its bones were cracking inside of it. It was walking on two feet like a normal human being, yet those moves were uncoordinated and puppet-like. You took the revolver out, ready to shoot at it any minute. 

“Stop, or I will be forced to shoot you.”  - You yelled at it with a high-pitched tone. But it didn't stop. It only hissed back at you as a form of an answer. But then it spoke to you in the exact same voice you heard downstairs.

“There is no need for that, honey.” - It said and hit your palm, so you let your revolver fall down. Before Steve or you could fo literally anything to stop it, it caught your forearm in its limb and held it so tightly that it almost crushed your bones. It opened up its head like a flower, showing you countless rows of sharp teeth that could tear your hand away just like that.

Steve was moving around you, screaming at you and maybe even at the creature, but you were paralyzed by fear. 

The creature in front of you was the Demogorgon.

[morphituu]

Bell Peppers Ch. 9

“Weeks”

Archive of Our Own: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

tumblr: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11

It was cold, even with a blanket draped over his shoulders, but the cold couldn't confine him to his empty house. Often in the two weeks that passed, he’d find himself somehow wandering into his backyard, sitting, staring at the bell peppers that were wrinkling the longer they frosted. And it was in those two weeks that he noticed he had picked up a particular habit of hers.

Often as he stared, lost in the strange fog that had become his thoughts, he’d bounce his leg. It made him impatient, but for what? He gave up expecting her call after the first few days, the likes of those days having been such agony.

He woke up the day after feeling like he’d ran for miles, but that hurt just… stayed.

It felt like he forgot a piece of himself at home when he didn’t contact her. He couldn’t think. His appetite was absent. He didn’t hear people speaking around him.

All the food she’d made at his home dwindled too quickly, and his fridge became barren, takeout containers eventually filling the space.

Ward knew it the first day he saw it. The chatterbox he knew Nick to be was silent, and he couldn’t recall seeing his phone in his hand like it used to be. The orc no longer showed him photos of his favorite person, or spoke of the plans they'd made. Ward knew, but said nothing, even when they’d pass the liquor store.

When those 2 weeks came up like a cruel reminder, Nick was adjusted. He worked, ate, and slept. He kept busy at work, the TV on at home, and downed Melatonin at night so there wasn’t spare minutes to sit and think of her. He already missed her so fucking much when he was busy, that he knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand facing the monster sitting on his shoulders during his alone time.

Sometimes he’d come as close as parking a few store lengths from the liquor store, so close to walking in, but as long as he decided against just asking her to talk, maybe start like they first did, he’d keep coming back to his backyard.

“I’d grow tea leaves, and tomatoes, maybe some potatoes,” she pondered, her big eyes squinted in thought.

“Tea leaves?” he asked, his shoulder leaning against the tall windows of the store.

“For my mom- she uses them to cook,” Callie explained, earning a thoughtful frown from him.

“Never even heard of them,”

“Oh yeah, I can imagine a seasoned farmer like you grows square watermelon and asparagus or something,”

He snorted, rolling sideways. “Carrots and lettuce, you brat. Been thinking of trying bell peppers,”

“I love bell peppers,” she sighed, resting her head back. Too bad they were in public- he craved to drag his tongue up her slender neck, taste the sweat he could see lining her chest from the blistering sun.

“Oh yeah?” he asked, and she nodded, equally captivated by the muscle of his shoulders she wanted to hang off of as she bounced in his lap. His head lolled towards her a little when she stepped closer, her chin bumping his shoulder.

“I’ll bring you a truck load,” he mumbled, lost in her freckles of her cheeks and honey skin, wanting nothing more than to nibble that plump bottom lip of hers.

“I’m gonna hold you to it, Nick. You come here too often for snacks to avoid me now,”

Above all, he wanted to hear her scream his name in pure desperation, begging for release.

“I come here for you, dummy,” he confessed, his wrist hung off one of the many items clipped to his belt. Callie’s smile was brighter than a sunrise, and he couldn't resist bending his wrist back to bump his knuckles against her flushed cheeks. Until she rested her forehead on his arm did they gaze at one another, both hiding their covet.

Nick grunted when he stood, tired from a day of absolute shit and barely the energy to bother buying food on his way home. It still sat on his counter, cold by now. He passed it on his way into the kitchen, instead grabbing for the bottle of Melatonin. That was all he could handle that night.

Callie didn’t sleep in her bed.

The coffee stand before her couch became the spot that held everything familiar, and comfortable.

Her phone, bag, some snacks, the remotes, even a few sweaters.

She slept her free days away, curled into the cushions and hiding from the daylight when a panic attack would hold her hostage in her own living room.

At work, she carried on. She was good at putting on the mask she needed to keep everyone out of her life, but not even music helped ease the ache that followed into her dreams.

When she stretched her arms above her head before the tall mirrors in the studio, her muscles protested. She thought dancing would help, but she couldn’t even find the energy to stand and twirl. Even slipping on her tights were too much of a chore; required too much energy she’d rather exhaust stuffing her legs into sweats and sleeping.

The light in her heart had dimmed.

She wondered why he didn’t stop by her store anymore.

She questioned why he didn’t call her, but in turn would ask herself why she hadn’t called him.

She was so exhausted, but sleep couldn’t fix this no matter how many hours she clocked.

She thought 2 weeks was enough time to pass for some kind of normality to come back into her days, but after Nick…

How do you get over someone, after being so in love with them?

When the slightest of energy crept into her limbs, and the yearn for relief pushed her to slide her hand beneath the band of her underwear, her mind drifted to Nick.

Wide shoulders shadowing her writhing form beneath, her knees to her chest, her hands upon his face as he'd kiss her, their breaths and moans intermingling. The steady rhythm of his narrow hips slamming between her thighs, over, and over, and over again until-

“We’re gonna get caught- ugh,” he tried to stop her, but she was so fucking good at this, even without the seat reclined. Maybe his fingertips digging into her gyrating hips was his attempt at stopping her, but it didn’t hinder her in any way. She figured he’d stop protesting when he hooked a thumb around her panties to keep them aside, marveling down at her pussy that graciously took his glazed dick, over and over.

“No one comes back here,” she panted, mewling when he straightened his hips, his dick sliding stiffer into her.

“Is that a pun?” he asked, smiling lazily up at her with half lidded eyes. She laughed, kissing him lovingly as his fingers tangled in her dark locks all around them, the police cruiser shaking in the dark of the alley behind her store.

She chased the fantasy that was once reality, but could never hold it close enough to keep it’s warmth from being blown out.

Her high was empty. Loneliness only reared its face soon after. She'd lay in the dark, deflated, the fight in her drained until sleep finally pulled her under, only after she allowed herself to accept this was her life again.

Callie knew better than this.

Even if her emotional state had been compromised during the passing weeks, that didn’t mean her common fucking sense had been.

But Ashely’s words had rang in her head: “Closure isn’t real- just cut you hair and move on.”

It had turned into 2 days of staring at her long hair in the mirror, suddenly aware of the weight, and the nuisance it had become brushing after sleeping so much. Where she had enjoyed running her fingers through her thick tresses, all she noticed now was how often it tangled.

Maybe a little extra weight off my shoulders would be nice.

Wrong. Rosie told her she’d regret it. Changes like this had no business being decided upon during the healing process.

But it was too late. She’d watched in silent horror as the stylist cut the ponytail from her head, the crunching of the strands between the blades of the scissors making her cringe, and after forty-five minutes of withholding screams to stop, she was left with hair above her shoulders, now thick curls that bounced around her ears like Rosie's without the weight holding them down.

She kept looking in the reflection of her phone while she watched TV, but would groan every time.

Still, she couldn’t help but wonder, would Nick like it?

The idea had shown through the clouds that fogged his thoughts a few days prior to deciding to ask Ward for his opinion on the matter. Whereas he hadn’t been able to form much of a coherent thought before then, this one manifested ever so clearly. It was his aha! idea that kept him from grabbing the Melatonin the night before, at last content with his own company.

He wanted- had to speak with Callie. Even if she still hated him, he had to tie up the loose ends. He couldn’t keep rethinking those last minutes together, and all the what-ifs. They were over- he groaned silently to himself- but he felt he’d left so much of himself behind with her that he needed back. If he was to truly get over her, no matter how badly he just wanted to collect her in his arms and smother her with adoration and apologies, he needed this reconciled.

“Hey Ward!” Nick called, jogging after his partner as he walked tiredly to the rig.

“What’s up?” Daryl replied, surprised that Jakoby seemed… not like a soulless husk, that afternoon.

“I need your advice on something,” Nick inquired, walking beside him. “It's about Callie,”

“Mhm?”

“We… split,” that was like swallowing glass. “But it ended so… it was so chaotic that I feel like it wasn’t really even a break up? It was like a fight we both haven’t gotten over, like shit is still there waiting to be talked about again,”

“Mhm,”

“I wanna call her, not to try and get back together even though I do- I just feel like I can’t even begin to get over her as long as all of that is still there,” Nick struggled to explain, his hands moving around.

“You two haven’t talked since?”

The Orc shook his head.

“You think you’ll be satisfied and ready to move on if you just clear the air?” Ward asked.

Nick ran his tongue over his clipped tusks, thinking critically. “Not really,”

“Then don’t go there deciding you just want to work out the stuff that happened. Work on the shit that’s happening,”

“What if she doesn’t want to?”

“You ain’t gonna know unless you start talking,”

“But we fought because of shit that happened-”

“Just-” Ward raised his hand to stop him. “Start talking. You can’t plan anything after that cause you don’t know what’ll happen until you just start talking.”

Nick flipped that around in his head, over and over, hours and hours. It dawned on him that all this time he’d desired to be with her again, but never considered trying to do so. It scared him. Thinking of what else she’d scream at him if he said something wrong. It scared him thinking of baring his soul for a second time. Could things ever go back to how they used to be?

What was better- a new, possibly strained relationship, or the memory of one that was in every sense to him, perfect?

All these questions, but Ward was right. They just had to start talking.

But not over text. Oh no. He put his phone away, realizing this conversation was better to hear in voice no matter how he itched to message her, but he didn’t want any emotions mis-communicated. Then maybe in person would be better? Would she give him the time to meet up? Of course she would; he knew his Callie girl.

To see her again… the tempo of his heart increased.

The rest of his shift, he’d thought over what he could say. Every apology, every promise to never take what they had for granted. Anything to hear those words from her again:

I love you, Nick.

No love had dissipated. It sometimes drove him to madness, wondering if he showed up at her door, with his heart held in his hands to return it to her, if she would let him in again.

He would wait until he was home.

He would call her, and ask if she would meet him so they could talk, and until she agreed to that, he would bridle his wildest fantasies. As he drove home, a familiar song drifted through the speakers. Nick hadn’t had the gall to listen to it since it all happened, but hearing it now rekindled warmth.

Their song she’d play while they cleaned, or cooked, sometimes as they drove to the store. The one she’d hold his face to, mouthing the words lovingly as he held her sides with a grin, sometimes pulling him with to dance. Hearing her sing those words close to his ear would calm any torment in his heart.

“Mm, keep going,” he insisted, his mouth muffled against her shoulder and his arms loose around her waist.

“I sound like a cow in misery,”

“You're my cow in misery. Keep goin’,” he said again, sighing contentedly with her warm body against his in his chilled house that hadn't yet warmed since arriving home. She scoffed, but stroked the back of his neck, ambling in slow circles with his big body leaned on hers.

“I need your love, honey, yeah. I need your love…”

“Crazy, crazy, crazy for your baby.” he crooned softly.

By the time he was home, night had fallen over LA. He could hear the distant call of a wintertide dragon, probably circling one of the summits nearby. Daylight savings seemed to stir them, but he could never figure out why a simple hour change would.

He had it all planned out as he stepped from his truck. He knew what to say, where to ask her to-

A hand over his mouth sent him into a frenzy. Before he could flail his arms, others were holding them. Strong grips from strong arms, connected to lumbering shadows that surrounded him. They dragged him effortlessly to the front of his truck, kicking open the gate to his backyard despite his muffled shouts and wild efforts to free himself.

As soon as they dropped him, crushing blows from steel toed boots kicked the wind from him, squandering his chance to shout for help.

Where one part of his body would retract, another kick would fly into him, from every direction, hitting every measure of his body.

He felt his ribs crack after the third or fourth hit, and the cold impact of a metal pipe against his knee.

His skull bounced off the ground with every impact of their fists against his head. His hands rose to try and stop them, but his fingers snapped back in a sickening crunch when they swung past it.

Curling into a ball did nothing. The kicks against his back rang in his kidneys, and that was when he managed to holler, but a boot on his face smothered him.

The pain, the raw agony of it, was drowning him.

Pass out, pass out, pass out-

Coppery blood filled his mouth, invading his sinuses. He choked, blinded by red when he tried to look at the dark figures around him.

Everything hurt. It all stung. Things burned.

And it felt like hours before they stopped.

He gargled past the blood, but only one eye worked. His head throbbed, and he wondered if his brain was swelling out of his ears.

A pale hand in the night grabbed his shirt and yanked up, but Nick was too heavy for him to lift.

“Orcs don’t belong with humans.” It hissed, but Nick’s vision was so blurred, all he saw were shapes and dark colors. When the figure spat on his face, it stung in the open cuts.

But those words hit him harder than anything.

Callie.

“D-don’ch fuckin’ touch’er!” he slurred, barely. He could feel the chips of a tooth lodged in his inner cheek, open and raw from his own fangs.

But the final blow of the metal pipe cracked against his skull sent him under. Into a world of black, and numb.

Ward thought it peculiar to not see Nick sat at the table in the briefing room, but brushed it off.

He figured he had a long night after he said he was planning on calling Callie.

Fucking finally, Daryl thought. Nick was like an abandoned puppy when he was sad, and he didn’t know how much more of the moping he could stand, or extra attention he felt he needed to give him even if his partner remained silent.

But as the last minutes ticked by, and he didn’t show up, Ward started to scan the room. When Nick had first joined the precinct, he’d made the mistake of waiting in the wrong room a few times, but that hadn’t happened since.

“Sit down, sit down and shut up, you assholes,” Heig announced, walking into the room that transitioned into a calm silence as he took the podium.

Their captain went about their announcements, but Daryl couldn’t stop staring at the door.

Never had Nick missed morning briefing. In the year he’d been here, he hadn’t even been late. If he took 10 seconds longer at the vending machine than intended, he’d text Ward.

He tensed his shoulder blade muscles to alleviate the discomfort. He could feel something poking the back of his head, aggravating his calm exterior.

Officers started to rise as their routes were announced. He still hoped Nick would walk in before their names were called-

“Three-Adam-Nine, Jakoby and- Ward… where the fuck is the Orc?” Heig asked over the commotion, looking at Daryl as he rose.

“I’m assuming he excused himself for the day?” Ward asked, approaching him.

“He fucking did not,” Heig muttered, flipping a few papers. “Rebecca never misses an absence call. Go find him, he’s probably wandering around somewhere.”

“Sir.” Ward acknowledged, leaving the room.

He checked everywhere. All the corners he would find Nick in when he was gloomy, and his favorite spot in the cafeteria, nor was he at the kit room or cruiser once the building had been cleared. Texts had gone unanswered as he swept the parking lot, even a phone call.

“Where’s your pet, Ward?”

Daryl turned, already knowing it was Gerrald, and met his passing sneer.

“Fuck off, pussy.”

He still chuckled as he passed, entering the building to leave Ward at the hood of the SUV. There were no carry-over calls to answer to, and as long as he could pass by Nick’s house quickly, he should be able to stay under the radar of his captain long enough to find out where the fuck Nick had up and disappeared to.

He continued to phone him, hopeful he’d answer before he finished the drive across town. Only voicemail.

“Nick pick up your fucking phone. Even if you and Callie ran off to Vegas at least tell me so Heig don’t fuck us both over.” he said angrily, ending the call.

He probably wouldn’t have been too pissed after the 30 minutes drive if his truck hadn’t been in his driveway, but he could only assume he was inside sleeping or something when he saw it parked there.

“Gonna fuck him up.” Ward said between clenched teeth, parking the cruiser quickly along the street and slamming the door behind him.

“Jakoby!” he shouted. Maybe if he was with Callie he’d startled them into never pulling this shit again.

But when he rounded the tail of the truck, he saw the open drivers side door, and the keys on the ground beside the wheel.

Everything stopped.

He didn’t pull his gun, but he did unclasp the strap.

“Nick?” he called, easing up on the open door and looking in. Nothing there except for Nick’s bag in the driver's seat. He backed up, scanning all his sides, looking for anything on the ground that might’ve been left behind. But who the fuck would kidnap him?

Or maybe he could’ve left somewhere in a rush?

He looked at the house, but it looked dormant. Why wouldn’t he take his keys in-

The ajar gate of the backyard fence caught him, and then the soul of a booted foot he could see behind the gate. A police issued boot.

Ward drew his gun, gliding over the ground with his shoulders pulled in until he was pressed against the tall fencing. He spun, taking both his sides, skimming the wide backyard for anyone, until he finally stepped around Nick’s motionless body.

“Nick! Nick? Jakoby?” Ward exclaimed, kneeling beside his partner.

No answer.

He checked his pulse; his rough skin was cold, but he thought he could feel the faintest trace of a heartbeat.

“Nick!” Ward yelled again, examining the extreme swelling and blood coating the Orcs face. He stood, his back against the wall of the house and his eyes stayed moving as he turned to his shoulder walkie

“Three-Adam-Nine, Code 3- I have an officer down and unresponsive. I need EMT in route immediately at 2217 Tildot Avenue. Code 999 for Officer Jakoby.” he broadcasted, kneeling by Nick again.

“Nick? Nick you gotta stay with me if you’re still there,” he demanded, shaking his shoulder.

There was nothing left of the Orc to be deemed alive, from what he could see. Cuts, mangled clothing- his middle and ring finger of his left hand bent back at an extreme angle, and blood. There was so much blood on and around him that it led Ward to assume he’d been here for hours, maybe all night.

“Jakoby c’mon,” he said again, and cleared his throat when his voice wavered.

“Three-Adam-Nine I need medical assistance now!” he shouted into the walkie.

He stayed by Nick’s side until he heard the sirens approaching, and left to the sidewalk to wave them down, pointing them in the direction of his fallen partner with his gun still gripped in his palm. More officers arrived, including their captain, who had enough heart to keep the snide comments to himself as he questioned Daryl.

It was clear Nick had been ambushed once everything was put together, but motive was unclear. His phone was near him and his wallet was still in his pocket, and they could’ve easily taken off with his truck but chose not to.

“Another Orc maybe. One man couldn’t do this, maybe if he was his equal size, but not alone,” Heig commented, jotting it down on the report. “He have enemies?”

Anyone the Fogteeth rivaled would be an enemy, Ward pondered, but shook his held. Amongst humans, his blooding was still unknown for the most part.

“We have forensics dusting and looking, so we’ll have a better idea of what happened when they’re done. You filled out your witness report?”

“Yes sir,” Ward replied, watching Nick being carted away on the gurney and into the rig. Barely stable, still unconscious. As long as he wasn’t being taken away in a black bag.

“Does he have family? Significant other?”

“I believe so,”

“Contact them. He’s going to LAC. Good work, Ward.” Heig finished, giving his arm a couple steady pats.

Good work?

Daryl watched them close the doors to the rig, and looked at the soul of Nick’s boot before he was hidden. He was handed Nick’s phone and keys in a ziploc, but realized there’d be no way of guessing his passcode, or knowing where his parents lived.

But he knew where Callie was.

↠

“It’s cute!”

“It’s not,” Callie groaned, smoothing her hands down her short hair.

“Okay but doesn’t it feel better?” Ashely smiled.

Callie glared, shaking her head slowly with a frown. “It’s like I amputated a limb,” she mumbled.

“Oh my god, drama, you’ll get used to it,” Ashely said as Callie moved to the back of the store.

“I hate it!”

The blonde chuckled and returned to organizing the front rows of candies where people deposited second guessed items when they made it to the register, tossing the randoms into the box under her arm.

“You can try wearing it up? Or dyeing it…” Ashely trailed off when the sirens she’d heard down the street were suddenly blaring through the front doors. The cruiser stopped abruptly outside, and Ashely looked at Callie who had come back from the office, a clipboard and label maker in hand.

When Ward rounded the front and sped in, she tightened her hold on the clipboard. It only took a moment to scan and find her, but Callie was looking behind him, waiting for Nick to follow in, but he never did.

“Is it…?” she breathed, unable to finish. She couldn’t finish that.

Please god no.

“He’s alive, but you need to come with me.” He labored.

“Alive-” she gasped, already panicked.

What had he survived!?

Ashely was already taking the items from her arms and switching with Callie’s bag, telling her she’d inform her Uncle. Confusion, and immense dread swarmed her eyes before she followed Ward out, the two climbing into the cruiser with lights and sirens starting up before speeding away.

hello, welcome back after the small hiatus! thanks to everyone who has left such kind words, in depth comments, and just showed general interest in this little story of mine, both on here and Ao3! i love you all, and you all keep me motivated to keep writing 😊

but please don’t kill me after this chapter c:

[howtobangyourmonster]

Boris, Part 1

Since people seem to like Boris and there have been requests for a story, here it is! A bit holiday-flavored and late, but I hope you like it anyway. It’s just a big pile of awkward adorkable fluff.

Part 2(nsfw)

There's this great coffee shop in my neighborhood. It's trendy and bit hipster-ish, really popular with the college crowd. I don't actually like coffee, but I brave the early morning pre-lecture rush because they make the most amazing London Fog in the city.

I like Thursdays the best because that's when their cutest barista has the morning shift. I extra don't mind getting up early for my morning cuppa on Thursdays. I'm not the only one with that opinion either, because I swear there's a good fifty per-cent more customers on Thursday mornings than the rest of the week.

This Thursday it was pouring buckets outside, and I was grateful to duck into the cafe and warm up a bit. I guess the rain was dissuading some of the regulars because the line was shorter than I'd expected. Boris, the cute barista, smiles as I approach the counter. I always wonder how he knows it's me, he doesn't have eyes(at least not that I can discern). Maybe it's scent? Oh, god, I hope not, sometimes I don't have time to shower before I come in...

“Hey, Boris!”

“Good morning! Pretty bad out there today, huh?”

“Ugh, yeah, it's like monsoon season or something.”

“Your usual?”

“Yep! Thanks.” I swipe my card and take my receipt. Sometimes I try flirty banter with him, but I'm so bad at it and I think he must cringe at my sad attempts. He's always very gracious about it and laughs at my terrible puns.

I thumb idly through my instagram while I wait. He says my name with a smile, and our fingers brush as he hands me my cup. It might sound depressing, but our brief interaction is kinda the highlight of my week. I glance down at my cup and see the little doodle of a smiling raincloud he's drawn there instead of writing my name. It's different each week. I don't keep them, I'm not that far-gone, but I do have a collection of snaps of all the doodles that I like to look through when I'm having a hard time.

I sip my London Fog in my depressing cubicle at my soul-crushing job as a glorified code monkey. The happy little rain cloud on the cup cheers me up enough that I manage to slog through the day. Maybe I'll draw him something, Christmas is coming up, I could make him a card. I'm certainly not doing much with my MFA in this hellhole.

When I get back to my apartment, I pull out my pencils and gouache supplies and start sketching.

It's almost Christmas. I haven't had as much time to work on Boris's card as I'd like. Dad's getting worse and I've been spending a lot of time helping Mom out taking care of him. I can tell we're getting close to the end, and so can she. Most of the time, she's barely keeping it together. I'm trying to be strong, but I'd be lying if I didn't say I cried myself to sleep more often than not.

The coffee shop is packed, people filling the sofas and chairs and booths, the snow outside painting the city white and making for a picture-perfect holiday scene. I get in line and check my email while I wait. When it's my turn, I put my phone away and look up, and immediately have to suppress the giggle threatening to spill out.

Boris is wearing a red santa hat with a little bell on the end, and it makes him look so cute that I nearly implode. The red of the hat brings out the pinker tones of his violet skin. He's got a holiday sweater on, too, completing the look. His shoulder spikes poke through the knit fabric.

“You're looking very festive today!”

“Yeah, 'tis the season, and all. Hey, I'm sorry, but I ran out of earl grey earlier, I sent Sasha out to get more, but...”

My heart half-sank. “Oh, that's okay, um, I can just have...”

“Actually,” he interrupted, “I've been wanting to try something, if you're up for it. You kinda inspired me.”

I'm a bit taken aback by that. I inspired him? I have to tell inner-teenage-me to calm down. “Uh, I'm game!”

“Great.” Boris grinned, showing off his tusks and sharp teeth. “I picked up this orange gingerbread chai at the import market this weekend, and it immediately made me think of you.”

He turned and busied himself with the tea, glancing over and smiling at me every so often. Truth be told, my heart was pounding and I felt like I was in tenth grade again and Jake LeSalle noticed me. Boris picks up his sharpie and scribbles on the side of the cup. He hands me the drink and I don't know if it's my mind playing tricks on me, or if his fingers linger a little longer against mine as I take it from him.

“Uh, wow, it smells great!” I take a sip. “Mmmm, oh, wow, that's really good. This definitely needs to go on the menu board.”

“Yeah?” his grin widens. “Ah, I'm so glad you like it!”

“Yeah, totally, I love yo-this, I love this, that you made, I love that you made this for me.” Oh, for fucking sake...

Boris half-smiles and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “Ha, yeah, you're welcome, I guess...well, have a good day!”

Oh god, he's embarrassed for me. That was so bad. I can never come back here. “Thanks,” I reply, “you too!”

Turning to hide my shame, I glance down at the coffee cup in my hand. Instead of the usual adorable doodle, it's a phone number. A phone number, and a little heart. Oh...

My face is on fire and I glance back up, but Boris is talking to the next customer and I can't catch his attention. Instead I push back through the morning crowd and toward the door. I need some air, even cold snowy air.

It takes me all week to work up the nerve to call him. And of course he doesn't answer and I get his voicemail instead. I panic and hang up. Then call back.

“Hey, sorry, it was me earlier, the hang-up message. Sorry. I already said that. Sorry I didn't call sooner, god I'm apologizing a lot. Um, I guess you're busy, so...call me back when you can? Okay, uh, bye.”

I hang up, groan, and bury my face in my hands lest the objects in my apartment witness my shame. I jump as my phone suddenly rings. “Hello?”

“Hey, hi, it's Boris.”

“Oh, uh, hi!”

“Hi.”

Awkward pause. Why isn't he saying anything? “So...”

“Uh,” I hear him clear his throat. “So, I was wondering if you'd maybe like go ice skating with me Saturday? At the Pavilion?”

“Yeah, yes, I'd love that!” Stop saying 'love' so much!

“Great! Want to meet me at the shop, say 7? We can walk together?”

“That sounds perfect.” I try to keep the elation in my voice in check. “I'll see you then.”

“See you then.” I can hear the smile in his voice, though.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hang up, and sit for a moment, the blood rushing in my ears. I have a date. I have a date with Boris. I have a totally romantic ice skating date with Boris the hot barista. Not even my shit job can kill my buzz. I realize I still haven't finished his card, and pull out my paints. It's pretty simple, just a study of the coffee shop from the outside, in the snow, though a violet figure can be glimpsed through the window. I just hope he doesn't think it's childish, a homemade card.

Boris is waiting outside the shop for me when I walk up. He has two cups in his clawed hands, steam rising from them. He has a wool peacoat on over his usual sweater and jeans, though this one seems to have been made for him. His shoulder spikes don't poke through. Boris hands me one of the cups.

“I know you don't like coffee, but how about hot chocolate?” He smiles at me over the thick scarf wrapped around his neck.

“I love hot chocolate! Thank you.” I smile back at him as I take the cup. “Shall we?”

We start slowly strolling along the sidewalk, the crunch of snow under our feet. The trees that line the street are decked out in string lights and everything feels magical. I love this time of year.

“I've been wanting to ask you out for a long time, you know.” Boris is looking straight ahead, but he has a little smirk on his face.

“Yeah? What stopped you?” I have to admit, I am curious.

“To be honest, I wasn't sure if you were into me or not. I mean, we flirt and I draw pictures on your cup, but I couldn't tell if we were just friendly flirting or flirting flirting, you know?”

“Wait, don't you draw pictures on everyone's cups? I just thought that was something you did?”

“No,” Boris looks down at me, his expression warm and affectionate. “Just for you.”

He reaches over and takes my hand in his, long claws resting lightly against the back of my hand. I swallow, thickly.

“Oh.” is all I can manage.

We walk in silence for a ways after that, my hand in his. His skin isn't rough, but it is firmer than mine, and surprisingly warm. The Pavilion comes into view ahead of us, lights and festive garlands all over it, the sound of the carousel music wafting out at us.

Inside, there is a modest ice rink next to the antique wooden carousel. I haven't been ice skating since I was a kid, and I tell him so.

“Neither have I, actually. It's okay, we can support each other.”

Boris and I pick up our skates from the counter and lace in. He's already steadier on his feet than I am, but we're both pretty slow and careful as we step onto the ice. We sort of shuffle along slowly, me clinging to his side like a barnacle. It's pretty nice, almost like cuddling.

After about an hour of clinging to each other and falling down, repeatedly, we decide our egos and knees are bruised enough. We grab some food at one of the food trucks outside the Pavilion and settle onto one of the benches near the carousel.

We chat over steaming bowls of rice and bulgogi and I learn he has an older sister and a younger brother, but both his parents have passed. I talk a bit about my dad, but I don't go into details, too heavy for a first date. Boris is a really good listener. We discover we share a love of terrible horror movies.

“Yeah, my great-uncle actually played the monster in that one.”

“You're kidding!” I gasp. “You're related to Chneya Szim?! I looooove 'Horror From The Deep'!”

“Ha, he'd have loved to hear that, he was such a ham. That whole side of my family was big in the industry back in the '50s.” Boris grins, fork in hand. I'm always amazed at how expressive his face is, even without eyebrows or eyes. The folds on the upper half of his face are much more flexible and pliant than they seem at first glance.

“How'd your family get involved in that?”

“Well, my great-great-grandparents were first-generation extradimensionals, back when the tears were uncontrolled, they just kinda fell through. My great-great-grandpa was working construction on a backlot when some character actor quit and they needed someone fast. The director saw him, and let's be honest, we're waaaay scarier than the foam and rubber suits you humans were wearing back then in the movies.” Boris looks a little sad. “He didn't really like playing monsters in movies, I guess back in our dimension he was some kind of professor, but work was hard to find and he had kids by that point, you know?”

“I'm sorry.” I have a sharp stab of guilt about my earlier enthusiasm for basically ex-ploitation flicks.

“Hey, it was the '50s, right? Anyway, it kind of became a family business, and my great-uncle really took to it well. Thus spawning the 'Horrors' franchise.” He grimaces. “The whole disco-phase in the '70s embarrassed the hell out him, though.”

“What disco-phase? Everyone knows 'Return to the Deep' was the last 'Horrors' film.” I reply, gamely.

“Oh, of course! I'm mistaken.” he laughs. “What about you? Other than your latte order and your penchant for horror movies, I don't actually know a whole lot about you.”

“Uh, what do you want to know?”

“Everything.” His face is so open and earnest. I swallow my discomfort.

“Well, I got my MFA at XSU a few years ago, and I do web design for some local corporations, I work mainly at an office share downtown, but I do some stuff from home. It's kind of soul-killing, to be honest. When I graduated, I thought I was gonna take over the world, you know, and instead I'm grinding away at a 9-to-5 in a cubicle, well, more like 7-to-6.”

“You don't do any of your own stuff anymore?” Boris asks.

“I do a little, when I have time, but between work and helping out at home, I mean at my folks' place, there's not a lot of energy left over for my own art. I do miss it though, creating something just for the joy of it.” I dig around in my purse. “Actually, the last thing I made of my own is for you.”

I hand him the card in it's red envelope. He turns it over slowly, examining it in some way I can't understand. “This is for me?”

“Yeah, I hope you like it.” I bite my lip, very nervous.

Boris slices the envelope open with one claw and pulls out the card. On the front is my watercolor of the coffee shop. After a moment, he opens the card and appears to be reading, his brows coming together. I had tried to keep my message simple and not too romantic, in case the date went badly.

“This is...beautiful. Thank you.” he looks back up at me. “You painted this?”

“Yeah, it was nice to flex my watercolor muscles. I'm glad you like it.”

“It's really good. Why don't you show your work in galleries? There's that art walk every first Friday of the month, we always hang up local artists' work in the shop.”

“The gallery scene in this city is ridiculously hard to break into, unless you know someone or you get 'discovered' I guess.”

“You should let me hang some of your work up in the shop, there's a gallery guy who comes in all the time. I'm sure he'd love your stuff.”

“Are you sure?” I ask. “That's really sweet, but I don't want to get you in trouble with your boss...”

“I am the boss.” Boris states, flatly.

I blink. “What?”

“I own the shop. It's mine. I live in the apartment above it.”

“Oh, I didn't, I feel silly for assuming you just worked there, now.” I reply. I guess I never thought about how old he was, extradimensionals don't really visibly age, I assumed he was close to my own age and just working in the coffee shop. “How old are you? Just, I realized I don't actually know, and-”

“And you suddenly worry you're out with a 50-year-old guy?” he jokes.

“Not that that's bad, or anything!” I try to recover, in case he really is 50.

“I'm 32.” he responds. Oh, well then.

“And you own your own business, nice.”

“Don't be too impressed, I inherited it from my folks. Tycha, my sister, wasn't interested in running the shop, and Zloan went into film like Dad's side of the family. Except he's directing instead of acting. So it's me.”

“Do you like running the shop?” I ask.

“I do. I really do. I love the sense of community. I grew up here, you know, and while I've traveled my fair share, I always knew I was going to come back here to stay.”

“Well, I'm glad for that, you make the best London Fog in the city.”

“Ha, so I've been told.”

Our walk back to the shop is easy and slow, our conversation drifting back to horror movies, then to horror novels, books in general, the writing-a-novel-at-the-coffee-shop trope, and some amusing stories about his regulars. He walks me the extra distance to my place, after asking if it's okay. Apparently he had me meet him at the coffee shop in case I didn't want him to know where I lived, in case the date went poorly. Turns out we're both pragmatic realists. Or pessimists. Whichever. I do not mind him knowing where I live.

“I had a really great time tonight, thanks for inviting me out.” I say as we pause at my door.

“I had a really great time, too. I'm really glad you called.” he smiles down at me, hands in his coat pockets, as he leans against the wall. “Eventually.”

He's teasing me. I deserve it.

“Yeah, well, I had to work up the nerve, you're intimidatingly handsome.” I toss back.

He ducks his head down and chuckles. “Well, I'm glad you think so. Can I see you again?”

“Yes, absolutely. If you want, we can stay in and watch terrible horror movies, order some delivery?”

He straightens up and gives me a satisfied half-smile. “It's a date. Can I kiss you goodnight?”

“Absolutely.”

We both lean in to the kiss, his hand brushing my cheek as I stretch up on my tiptoes because he's just so damn tall. After a few moments I feel his tongue brush against my mouth and I part my lips slightly. Boris deepens the kiss, his tusks ghosting over my skin. I sigh into his mouth as we part.

“That was a hell of a first kiss.” he remarks, sounding a little breathless.

“I have high hopes for the second one, too.” I can't hide my smile as I open my door. “Goodnight, Boris. See you Thursday.”

“Goodnight.”

[pink-valkyrie]

31 days Of Halloween Drabbles

                                             Octobers    31    Drabbles

Roughly ideas of come up with for this month, characters are based off of my friends. Couldn't fit them all on there or go into  many details. Hope you enjoy reading this. Based off on things I’ve done or going to do, and somethings that may or may not have happened.

1)Introduction of characters and Fall Activities:  Elaine (Main character), Linda ( elaine's best friend), Christain (Elaines boyfriend), Jake,(like linda childhood friend) Mandy (Jakes friend and also new to group), Robin (elaines bestfriend  from work), Mary (Jareds girlfriend new to the group), Ashley (Jordon girlfriend),Jordon (friend from highschool and Ashley's boyfriend), Dan ( elaines childhood friend a bit of an asshole), Logan ( elaines childhood friend), Jared (friend from highschool),  are all young adult friends enjoying the season of Fall. Elaine the groups fun, fall loving mother hen plans to enjoy all 31 days of October the best she can and she plans to involve everyone the best she can the end result being a Halloween party.  We join our group in  31 fall activities or misadventures we shall see.

2) "Guys!" Elaine said," lets go on a haunted hayride it'll be fun, they even have a paintballs guns to 'shoot' the monsters with."  AN with those words nearly everyone in the group was on their way to the local Hayride to Hell attraction. The only ones who couldn't make it was Mandy, Robin, Ashley, Jordan due to work. Logan had some how gotten out of his shift saying there was no way he was going to miss shooting monsters. As the group paid for it and enter with their paint balls guns some even buying more ammo than necessary to take down the monster, *cough Elaine cough*. Everyone gave her a weird look. "What?" Linda being the first to speak loved to tease her best friend. "Just admiring your arsenal, plan to take them all by yourself?" With that everyone began laughing. Christian rarely got to come to anything always working, paused his laughing long enough to gasp out "More like she needs extra for when she misses nearly every shot in a panicked state. "  Seeing the glare he was getting from his girlfriend, he said "Sorry honey I love you but you really are a chicken and I'm afraid that affects your aim."  As they took their seat and the ride began it became silent as the driver went over the story, Elaine was shaking not from fear but from the cold, she should've dressed warmer than her jeans, tennis shoes t-shirt with half sleeves. Everyone sighed preparing for the long lecture she was sure to recieve from Linda later (the other mom of the group). Christian handed her his jacket in hopes it'd warm her just alittle more. As it was nearing the end after being shown a few terrifying scenes from the story it was time to defend the wagon. It went relatively well their group and the other they went with were doing fine. Until Dan's assholery kicked in and he moved his gun and nailed Elaine in the shoulder on purpose "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Elaine you alright.?" Everyone was too involved in what happening to think Dan's misfire was more than an accident. Christian glanced over to see her eyes watering and her biting her lip, she'd taken off the jacket to shoot not that he was worried about it right now, that was definitely gonna leave a big brusie fired at such a close range. He was slightly mad, he grumbled  an angry be more careful an watch what your doing. Mary, Linda, and Jared had paused in their shooting to look over and check on Elaine.  Logan took out a few more also giving her a once over. At that moment Dan was hauled off the wagon by a much bigger and taller monster (aka a marine who liked scaring people in this month). "I saw what you did you little prick." Dan had already rounded on the guy about to unleash is anger, when he was promptly shut up.  "That sure didn't look like an accident you shooting your friend in the shoulder. We have protective gear to wear. She doesn't an I highly doubt she deserved that. We have rules you have to follow when operating equipment and being in a setting like this. While its fun and all, its not safe to horseplay. An I'm going to have to ask you leave, an this guy signaling another bulky looking guy is going to escort you instead of myself."  Turning his attention back to the stunned and slightly angry group he walked up to Elaine. "You and the rest of your friends can follow me, I'll show you some behind the scenes things as we get that shoulder cleaned up and treated." It had been a fun night for everyone despite the mishap towards the end. Jared, Logan, and Christian were fuming about what Dan did. The girls while also mad were more concerned about Elaines feelings. He had been doing alot of awful and mean things lately it brought in to question was it really okay to have him at the party. Alot of the group members didn't think so.  Something Elaine was gonna have to talk to him about later. 3) The Haunted Corn Maze, Dan, linda, Christian, and robin couldn't come to this one. Complete it within 2 hours and its free, but there were ghost and ghouls hiding in there to scary the maze goers. Everyone looked at Elaine like she'd lost her mind but they went along with it. That went relatively smooth they were going to complete the maze a group together and get their money back until The guy with the chainsaw jumped out they all began to run but Elaine panicked so much and ended up running wild through the maze. Everyone had made it, everyone except Elaine. They went and got their money back and waited near the exit. A few minutes Later she came wobbling/hobbling through the maze. SHe was sweaty, tired, dusty, and she was favoring her ankle, she had definitely tripped, she got her money back and was on her way to the car. Maze mission kinda of a success. 4)Movie Night  Everyone except Dan was there. Mandy and Elaine were picking out movies to watch as they tried to meet the needs of everyone there. The group plus a few more had shown up. Here were the things to omit when it came to choosing movies. No Chucky/dolls, No possession or exorcisms, No clowns, No movies with lots of gore, No zombies,  No final destination or saw like movies with the shock factor/cringe. One didn't even want scary movies. Sighing Elaine finally said  its tradition so there will be one, there will be one at the halloween party. We can do classics like Halloween (I'm a fan of Michael Myers and etc),  Or We can a few family like movies like casper meets wendy, hocus pocus, anything tim burton related, or scary god mothers spooktaular halloween and jimmys revenge. Another option would be a series like most terrifying places in america, halloween wars, haunted attractions, fear factor, hellevator, ghost adventures, etc. It was a painful task but they picked out the movie for the party a classics. An a few for the moment. It was painful few minutes finding a few movies but everything after was considered a success. The only ones left in the house now was Christian and Elaine who insisted on him staying the night to which he responded. "Chicken." But got comfy anyway. --------At this point Dan is taken out of the story by his choice, since his relations with the group are strained ------ 5) Elaine had a small fear of the dark or to be specific what could be in the dark. She couldn't see very well, and at night she panicked at every little sound because she also hated being by herself. So while inside she kept the rooms well lit, a weapon near by, cellphone, a escape root and etc. But while outside she kept a small light and always ran to her destination. 6) Fears everyone had them and now it was time to discuss them, Fear of spiders shared by Elaine, Mary, and Linda. Fear Of Clowns by Jordan. Fear of Heights by Christian also shared by Elaine. Fear of needles by Linda, Elaine, and April. So many discuss, Fear of being alone, screwing up, never accomplishing anything, fear of snakes,fear of wrecks, fear of dying, fear of disease, fear of surgery, claustrophobia, and the list goes on and on etc etc  But it if we had a check list everyone looked to Elaine how do you even get out of the house anymore scaredy cat.  To which she responded gotta live some how even though I'm afraid of alot of things I can't and refuse to let most of it hold me back from what I want and need to do. 7)Alright ghost stories, that was a mission failed, they ended up googling it, some turned it into a comedy, some were bad, 8) That was kinda fun, The age old debate which is better or who would win. Vampire vs Werewolf. Which is better? That was a mixed debated that lasted over 10 minutes, and explained reasoning.  Kate from underworld vs Blade aka wesly snipes from Blade. again that lasted awhile. Which is better the original or remake. Movie vs book, This character vs this one, on and on it was fun as long as there was no real fighting. 9)Trivia was a disaster though while the easy question like what colors were on freddys sweater in the nightmare on elm st where answered quickly others were not. While some knew answers others on the other hand were clueless about every 2 out of five questions and the there were mixed questions throughout the bag. After about a 30 minutes they gave up. 10) They discussed what treats to make for the party after food was discussed. Whats a party with out deserts. Someone said scary smores decorated cake pops, fruit/veggie tray, witches broomsticks (resse cup with a pretzel in it), and many other treats were brought up but finger foods/quick grab in goes with no mess was what everybody wanted. 11)Elaine exited her house one day to find stuff drew on her car, sighing she cleaned the mess darn friends and there markers. Christian wanted to trick her as well. She was very easy to scare. She was always weary round this month and April 1st anyway. So on a night Christian stopped by after work which was around 11:30pm. She went to the door as soon as she seen his truck pull up. When she turned the light on and stepped outside the truck was there but he wasn't. the window was down but the door was shut. Oh great she thought she knew where this was going it didn't look like he hid under the truck. She crept over quietly just then her motion censor light went out. Crap she thought she tried calling out and talking to him. She stood in front of the head lights, about to make a break from it when he grabbed her.  Luckily she didn't scream, he was laughing by the end of it. She nearly had a heart attack not funny. Oh boy did he have some making up for that. It was worth he said though. 12)Next costumes were important and festive. While some had already had there's planned out others were up in the air, some didn't even know. A few told her what they were going to do. Elaine was low on cash while her Jake, Mary and Jared were out shopping one day, Jared and Mary did a couple thing (a robin hood/green arrow looking costume for Jared and Mary chose a medieval looking princess dress)  Both Looked good. Elaine pitched ideas left in right Elaine with alittle help from Mary decided to be a black cat. Mandy Was going to do something with make-up, Linda was debating on a witch or something else. Logan had no idea. Robin hadn't discussed it.  There was no telling with Christian she thought, one year he was a cowboy while she was a vampire other times he had to work and came to the party in his uniform while she was a cop or something else. Jordon always beat everyone though the only man enough brave/crazy enough to compete with us. Going as far as become a pregnant woman, that was the year he did three different changes, vampire dress, lady bug dress, and his original pregnant lady. Ashley was herself dress up every now and then. The rest of the group didn't say anything. 13)Elaine was decorating her house like no tomorrow. The dining room being the one with the most attention, everything else had something small here are there. She still needed to clean and find some more decorations soon. After all she was trying to do everything on a budget. 14)She had yet to get a pumpkin but Elaine knew she and a few of her friends would have to get together and paint or carve pumpkins, As soon as the Jackolanterns were set up it finally began to feel like halloween. 15)Another thing was those damn leaves that she had to rake up constantly. Yep defiantly fall with all those colorful leaves falling of the trees and turning brown, the ones already brown crunching into smaller pieces creating more of a mess. Finally they were in a pile, then the wind blew and they were scattered again, another time nearly done, the her friend Jordan against the advice of the others jumped and ran through the leaves, sighing she handed it to him to rake while she and the others got a some in a stack, then it started raining so they became soggy and impossible to push into a bag. They were nearly done she growled throwing the rake down she moved the bags as the others were inside, the last one called for her to hurry before she was soaked, as she turned an began walking back she stepped on the rake and walked into it tom and jerry style. Holding her nose she pick it up, carrying it with her set it in its spot and entered the house grumbling the. Damn falling leaves and hurtful rakes. 16)A dance was being held an while a few of the friends wanted or did go Elaine was at home that day after work going to bed early after fighting her seasonally allergies. 17)Ghost hunting is something some of the group had talked about doing for a while. An a few attempted over the years Elaine chickened out every time this time however she was gonna do it not alone of course as they were about to leave the sky turned dark and it began to rain heavy with howling winds, everyone was disappointed and went home. Yep she sighed good old weather saved me this time. I take this as sign not to every do this again. 18)Hide an seek. What are we five Elaine? But none the less they were out there in the dark with flashlight playing it.  It quickly became cold, a chore, a near injuries when they began to run from the seeker. Elaine was close to the last one found during each game. The only person harder to find was Christian. But after about an hour or so they called it quits and went inside. 19)Ah Murder mystery Elaine couldn't afford the board game but she put a game and story and roles together for everyone to play at the party she couldn't wait, it was drawing near. 20)Pick your poison was another game she was planning on doing, like truth or dare but instead of truth you take a shot of a nasty drink or a nasty jelly bean. Yep Elaine thought only have one choice do the dares I've come up with or go to my fave poison and drink. 21)While there weren't going to be any this year or any year people had to go home and weren't responsible there was always alcohol games like take a shot every time tis person says this, dare or drink, and a few others. 22)Another fall activity she thought about doing was Bobbing for apples since it was traditional and fun. But it was also messy, and cold so that was a possibility. 23)Oh Urban Legends was fun to discuss especially with this group they new so many and with what they didn't know they were open to watch a scary clip on it, or googling, sadly Elaine didn't get that much sleep that night and Christian had to stay with her all night again. 24)Candy was a halloween must. They were so many candies out there. Elaine Loved sour candy, gummies, chocolate like herseys, m&m, reeses cups and etc. she was pretty basic like the regular stuff and not much else. Her friends were the ones with weird flavors. Sadly Elaine would have to wait to buy candy for the party because it would get eaten before then by herself, house guest. 25)Fire! a bonfire would've been a great thing to do when the burn ban was lifted. But it makes since they could have roasted hotdogs, marshmallows like they did a few months ago. Plus it'd be alight warmer and festive. She was sure the firebugs of the group would love that. But she wasn't going to bring it up until after the burn ban and on a day the weather wasn't so windy and everything was dry. 26)Investigative discovery is something Elaine Just loved it seemed like every time someone came over she was watching it. It was that cartoons, movies, series she liked, sometimes comedies, and anime. Oh man did they all make jokes about it. One time they found her making a list of fall activities and found murder at the bottom after laughing they ripped that part, laughed, playfully hit her and said if a cop found that you'd be in jail you lunatic watching all those murder shows finally has you batty. She always argued she didn't watch it all the time, just majority of the time, what could she say she loved crime shows like that. 27)Quotes she liked a few from scary movies, books, and something well know people had quoted she through those in with the trivia questions her favorite were the macbeth inspired questions. 28)Elaine watched, read, googled, Diy's for decorations, recipes, costumes, and more this year, trying to gather more information on what she could do. What she was missing and could pull off. An just more ideas in general, the costumes were just for herself for next year and the people who had yet to find a costume on a budget. 29)For the party she decided to put her painting skills into affect by painting monster like portraits and scenery her favorite being the one she made of Frankenstein for last years party. 30) The last thing she did was create a halloween playlist for the party with songs she liked an could get a scary vibe off of.  A few of the songs marie laveau, somebodys watching me, thriller, haunted, monster, theme songs, this is halloween, superfreak, calling all the monsters, love potion number 9, i put a spell on you, E.t, Disturbia, radioactive, my songs know what you did in the dark, mad hatter, dragula, let the bodies hit the floor, helter skelter, beetle juice jump the line, come little children, the night by volitare and the land of the dead.  

31)The Party was the last thing and it would definitely be a success, For the official ending check back after Halloween.

[toforeverbeskinny]

Could It Get Worse? - Part 1

Summary: You’re Bobby’s adopted daughter, Dean and Sam had feelings for you and you had feelings for both of them. But what happens when those feelings get put on thin ice? (Season 7) A/N: This is the first Tumblr story i’ve written so if it’s terrible i’m sorry in advance:) If you did enjoy this let me know if you want to be tagged in the further parts. Pairing: Sam x Reader x Dean (No Wincest) Warning: Language, mentions of smut. Words: 1.5k

I woke up in the car with my head on Sam’s lap and my feet stretched out on Dean’s lap. We were headed to an old abandoned house in Hammonton, New Jersey. “Hey Y/N we’re here” Sam said as I glanced up at him, I got up and followed them into the house house meeting Bobby. “Hey Y/N, long time no see, these idjits aren’t giving you trouble are they?” I smiled and gave him a hug “of course not Bobby, you sent me off with them in the first place remember?” We both laughed. Sam and Dean had gone into the other room to get the lights on, when they got back we started doing research on the thing killing people. Of course I had to listen to Dean complain about us living in the bottom. And then of course with our luck the electricity went out. Great.

Bobby, Sam and I started talking about local legends and myths while Dean sat and listened per usual, we also found out its racking up a body count, a couple from the other night and four other missing persons in the last three weeks. “State Troopers - get this - are saying it’s a rogue bear.” Sam stated “Yeah of course, when was the last time you saw a bear string up its own pinata?” Dean replied I let out a small laugh. We talked a little longer and then decided to go to bed, since Bobby was around I couldn’t sleep with Sam or Dean. After what seemed like hours my body finally shut down, but before I fell asleep I felt two hands on my body one on my right shoulder, Dean and one grabbed my left hand, Sam. I sighed and fell asleep much easier.

Bobby and I met Sam and Dean in a restaurant after they finished talking to the ranger. We listed off monsters it couldn’t be and then sat down for lunch since we were all starving. Our waiter handed us our food, but he was being a huge asshole, we were confused is to why as he insulted all of us when he gave us the food. We ignored it and started eating. Out of no where Dean ran his hand up my thigh and I slightly jumped luckily no one noticed, as Bobby started talking to Sam, Dean turned to me and whispered “Did I startle you?” He said with a grin and winked. I smiled and my cheeks turned a slight pink. After we left we changed and headed to the woods to see if we could find the monster.

As we tracked we all talked about when we were younger and Bobby would take the three of us hunting. As we talked about it the happier I was, without Bobby I probably would be dead by now. He was really good friends with my mom I guess, Before I was born Bobby promised her that if something happened to me he’d take me in and raise me. So when my mom got into the car accident and died he kept his promise and raised me, he was my father for as long as I can remember and for that i’m grateful.  We all stopped when Bobby found Phil, the Rangers missing partner. Sam called the Ranger and after a while he showed up. Dean showed him we found Phil, as he was at his car something came out and grabbed him. Sam yelled “Ranger” and we all ran after him. We stopped when we heard rustling up in the trees, we all pointed our guns to the sound. “Lights off.” Bobby said, I turned my head and said “What?” “Bobby do you think that’s really a good idea?” Asked Sam “Shut up, shut off, and listen” Bobby said again. We listened and shut off our lights re pointing our guns towards the trees. We heard weird noises like it was eating “the damn thing is eating Rick” bobby said. Oh god. Bobby’s gun went off and the thing fell from the trees. “Nice shot Bobby” I said.

Dean and Sam came in behind Bobby and I carrying the thing and set it on the old table. The thing suddenly jumped up and we all pulled out our guns and shot at it until it fell again, we let out a sharp breath. “First one must have just stunned it” Bobby said as we all walked towards it. Bobby pokes it with a Stick and odd grey stuff comes out of it, so Bobby and Sam decide to crack the guy open. I watched as Bobby and Sam pulled some odd shit from its stomach, all the while Dean was complaining about being hungry.

After they went through the body we went out to get the same burger Dean got yesterday, the rest of us just got coffee and talked about the case. As we were talking about it Dean made odd sounds towards his burger, “Dean? What do you think?” Sam asked him. “I’m not that worried about it.” He said as he chewed “Excuse me?” Bobby and I said at the same time. “It’s funny right? I could give two shakes of a rat’s ass.” Dean said back. Sam Bobby and I gave each other a what the hell look. “Is that right?” Bobby asked “Do rats shake their ass, or is it something else?” Dean asked than he laughed and started eating again. The three of us look at each other again, Sam looked around and I followed his gaze, everyone seems to be eating the burger Dean is eating. Sam grabbed the burger from Dean, something isn’t right about that slammer.

Sam got it to go and we headed back to the house. As Sam opened it Dean bitched but we just told him something was wrong with him, “Are you kidding? I’m fine, actually I feel great. The best i’ve felt in a couple months. Cas? Black goo? I don’t even care anymore. and you know what’s better? I don’t care that I don’t care. I just want my damn slammer back.” I gave Dean a look and went back to looking at the sandwich. Sam started telling Dean he was acting stoned, when he was done we all looked at the sandwich to see grey goo coming from it. “I think you pissed off my sandwich.” Dean said looking at it. This is why Dean is being stupid.

”Hey Y/N wake up” Dean whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes and yawned. I sat up, when the hell did it become day? Sam jumped into the back of the van as we stared at the building. After an hour or so A car pulled up and non other than Dick Roman. Dean had no idea who he was so we spent the next ten minutes showing him who he was. Bobby left the van and Dean, Sam and I were left in the van to watch the building. Every couple of minutes Sam and Dean would glance at me with a lustful look that sent heat strait to my core. “Would you guys please stop that” I said looking at both of them but they just kept doing it.

A while later Dean calls Bobby and tells him we got nothing and Bobby says the same after a pause Bobby says “now I have officially seen it all” “Bobby what’s going on?” Sam asked “He’s making the doctor eat himself.” “What?” I say so he can hear me. “He’s-” He stopped talking. “Bobby?” We yelled through the phone. We got out of the van and an ran towards where he was. When we got there he wasn’t there, We have to go get him. We ground a cleaning truck and found spray that has borax in it, here go nothing. We ran in and spray anyone who was in front of us,I went with Sam and Dean ran the other way, Dick came out and Sam and I sprayed him, but he didn’t scream he just wiped his face with a cloth, we went to spray him again but we were out of cleaner, shit. He twitched and behind him was Bobby holding a gun, he had shot him. Dick turned around and said “Hey! That’s mine.” and since he was looking at Bobby he didn’t see Dean come up behind him with cleaned. Dick bent over and groaned. “Go!” Dean yelled, Sam and I started to run towards the exit, Bobby was behind us. We ran to the van and got in, Dean swung the van to the door so Bobby could jump in but he wasn’t out the door yet, “come on Bobby” I said as he opened the door and ran out. I opened the door and Then Dick appeared. “Go! Go!” I yelled as he got into the van, bullets were flying but Bobby shut the door and we were off. I let out a sigh and my head was leaning against the side of the car. “Hey, Bobby, Your hat.” Sam said, when I didn’t hear a reply I opened my eyes to see Bobby laying on the floor. “Bobby?!” I yelled at the darted to him, I shook him but he didn’t move, I jumped over him and saw a big bullet hole in his head, I scream “Bobby!!”  

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x22 watching notes

*loud Dean!girl tears*

Cup of Tea No. 1:

Expectations - Berens Buckleming Clean Up Operation, which tbh when you rank writers by skill at this job WAS the top of the game over Dabb but then Perez showed up. But I still expect a competent job.

This appears to be the BMoL and Mary wrap up episode, although on this show appearances can be deceiving.

As a fervent Mary stan this season, I'm hoping they don't kill her but if they do kill her she dies next episode for heroic reasons, not this episode for rubbish hubris reasons, although I am open to being won over to a tearful passing if they actually get to friggin communicate everything with her, and in that respect I feel we've been waiting since 12x03 for Berens to get back to the point he was making there...

I EXPECT Ketch to die bloody, but ever since last episode I've been pre-emptively disappointed that he's going to be mauled by his own hellhound. Slightly less disappointed if Dean opens the cage and says "Sic 'im, boy," to the dog, because this IS an episode by Bobo "Drowley" Berens.

Aside from that, I've pretty much got nothing because I haven't been speculating ahead on much or really daring to entertain any ideas, except for firmly staking my entire farm on the mystery dude from the 2 in 1 trailer being "Garth with padding" so I expect I will be handing over my farm soon. Although I assume that's in 12x23 and therefore not yet and maybe not for hours.

[note from past me ‘hours’ yeah okay this episode literally ended up making me bedridden and too weak to move by the halfway point so I took like 24 hours from start to finish :P]

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Oh yeah, Dean's got a pending 7 years ago "welcome to next time" for Walt or Roy from Dark Side of the Moon. One or the other is supposed to be in this episode. The reminder of 5x16 nudges all its themes onto the table, and it's nice that it's a Dabb episode, the one that wrecked Dean n Cas's faith, ruined Heaven for Sam n Dean, and had Zach attempt to ruin Mary for Dean with that chilling speech that after 12x03 we were saying really cut too close to home on what Dean might have thought after Mary walked out.

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Quick Jody recap. Not entirely sure if the "Jody is good people" line comes from 10x20 about Claire, or 7x22 about not!Jenna, the Alpha's blood slave, but it certainly wasn't about Alex, although it's laid over a clip of them together, and the only reminder about Jody is that she adopts wayward daughters.

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Blah blah  murder!Mary, capturing Toni recap, Mary is brainwashed, bunker is gonna kill you... Noticing Ketch saying the air will "reverse" which means what, exactly, but anyway goes with the theme of reversing things. He also has an extremely punchable face, and since DHJ grew his beard back, all these con photos from the other day have been literally unrecognisable and I keep wondering who the normal looking bloke is hanging out on stage with them, because I'm so used to him looking like this:

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(brief break because Berens episodes always make me really sick for some reason)

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Anyway.

NOW.

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Dead guy (thing?) on a truck.

Dead guy. Mary used some reaaaally horrible cat claw looking knuckle dusters or something to kill him. BMoL including savergy as part of the deal; Mary is the hellhound who tears up these guys. Not just being effective at killing - it has to be horrible too. And Mary's been getting used to killing monsters horribly - why should it matter when it's people?

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the obvious problem next season is the hunters have been decimated so monsters are going to be a much bigger problem and sam and dean can't rely on all these random nobody hunters to stop the next generation of tragic backstories.

This one was called Lester, and I watched 10x02 waaay to recently and that's the guy who got screwed over by Sam's demon deal shenanigans and Dean killed.

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Oh no I think he worked in Auto Repair - Bobby would have been a target if only they still had a Bobby

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Bobby would not have stood for this. Mary would have been in the panic room in a flash through some trickery and smart paranoia :P

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Aaaaah Jody's on the hit list. Who did Jody ever hurt???

I can tell you why that's stupid even for the BMoL: aside from killing law enforcement being a dumb idea in general to not draw attention to yourself, the local sheriff type hunters will literally always be the sort to get involved in cases on a local level and start hunting for themselves to protect a small town like Jody did... you're never going to stop them popping up and you're removing a valuable local level resource and I bet there are others like Jody who just didn't have the misfortune to know the Winchesters who literally never fight above their weight limit but are ready for vampires to come to town >.>

I know she's on the hitlist because she's an associate of the Winchesters but I mean... their overall plan is STUPID if they're going after hunter cops in general. Pfft

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*Sam, Dean and Toni bicker entertainingly*

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Toni argues that they NEED her so THEY don't kill her. It's like... on the endless infinite loops of Crypt Scene reversals, this one is Toni arguing for HER life to UNDO a brainwashing if they don't kill her, using the keyword "you need me", and... yeah. Same sort of deal - someone saying stuff to not get killed and there's brainwashing involved.

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Sam: "LORE"

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DAY ONE

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Remember how 11x14 is one of my favourite Sam episodes because Berens just sometimes writes the Perfect Sam, and he's all peppy and researchy? I've seen literally 2 seconds of this scene and I'm like, yeah, he's at it again.

Berens's take on Sam is probably the interpretation I've funnelled into Terrible Coffee AU, mostly because I laughed SO HARD at excessively caffienated Sam in 11x14 and what it did to his personality, I decided then and there I would never write a scene with him where he hadn't had at least 4 cups of coffee

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Sam found a gremlin spell :D

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Pfft they need to purify some blood to make it work. While the Bunker is on lockdown and the lights are flashing red. Dean's even wearing a red shirt, though it's a plaid one, because he's in the family again unlike 10x03, and Toni's the ~invading element~ who last episode like demon!Dean spat a load of bitter truths at Sam, did the same to Mary.

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Aw they're all combining their blood. They're in like some sort of pact now, that they all at least want to live, at least long enough to try killing each other in free air. But yeah, no one of them is being relied on to be the purified one - symbolic that while they hate each other, when it comes to getting free none of them is being more self-righteous than the others, and also an admission that none of their bloods are pure enough that any of them could have lorded it over the others.

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(Sam, of course, is working with Toni and compartmentalising everything about how she tortured and mind-raped him)

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Brains failed, now for brawn. (Sam and Dean still being aligned this way, and each having a day to try their thing)

I hate seeing a map of the Bunker as if it makes sense, but it reassuringly magically produces a brand new wall we've never seen before with a convenient exit right behind it - "let's Shawshank this bitch" - so I figure its magic is still at work. It's brainwashed too - it doesn't want to kill them, so it's doing its best to help :<

They need to manually override it.

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Dean immediately gets repurcussions for his idea by getting a shard of concrete in his eye. Probably not symbolic

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Also they probably wasted a ton of air doing that

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"how did this happen?" "which part?" "all of it" - haven't hit play but cosmic consequeeeences

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"We had Cas back, we had Mom back"... I assume Dean's priorities have been pointed out by everyone but I'm doing it anyway. Even if you just say he's listing them and had to go one way or the other, and "Mom" is the more surprising one, but still... Cas being got by Lucifer was like, up there with things that getting him back was like getting Mary back, in how happy it made Dean. That is a Thing.

Also belatedly had some Thoughts and came back to this point, that Amara is really the big bad of this season too, but as an abstract concept of chaos, which she represents, where her 2 actions for Dean were to give him Cas and Mary back, but between throwing Lucifer wherever to let him carry on as he liked, and bringing Mary back to get tangled in this, she creates the two heads of the end of season chaos, and both arcs (and Mary and Cas have been mirrored all the way as the two sides of this sort of looping around each other)... I guess what I'm saying is I expect chaos and I'm blaming it on her, but it's belatedly given me a really interesting way to look at the randomness of the season.

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Sam's regretting things. Give him a dog. *ruffles his damp hair* He was just too optimistic for his own good. He wanted the world wide scale doing good thing, and wanted to follow along instead of leading.

Whenever I think of Sam and leading I think about boy!king Sam and the plans that were apparently there for him. He had the "I'm not a leader" arc like 6 years before Cas did, and it turned out it was all a con anyway, but the point is, Sam very very firmly does not like being put in a position of responsibility, probably has season 2-3 trauma related to it, since it was how he first died, and then how Ruby met him, swearing loyalty to him as if he would be that leader...

Ironically in 12x14 and Berens knows this full well as he writes Sam saying this, Sam took control and leadership of the situation and crisis-managed it all the way through to a dead Alpha vamp, getting the hero shot and everything, but he still blamed the BMoL over and over that they were the ones who did all the hard work, and turned to them for guidance, instead of seeing what he did there.

As Leviathan!Dean once said, but, uh, reapply this to being a GOOD leader, they're strong and smart and so on... He just went to the end that it was a perfectly good opportunity to subjugate the weak (which is what the BMoL want) and of course Sam would rather not do that :P

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Cup of Tea no. 2

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Oh crap, they're have a Moment about how they want to die, talking about how they didn't imagine it being this way because, well, who plans to be murdered by their own Bunker

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I don't think Dean plans to die this way any more

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Did Dean just....

he did

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Toni hates the Americans

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YEAH DEAN

He's gonna remember that forever.

If he's not dead and tbh if he is he just died happy

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Having an explosion in the Bunker was a terrible way to use up all the oxygen

YAY Dean did the thing and all the smoke is clearing

I suppose because this is on the CW Dean doesn't stumble in with a massive boner from finally getting to use it

This was already a symbolic victory for the crazy American way of hunting.

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Oh dear, it's Mary.

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She is covered in blood and just walks up to the door, and Jody's like... okay I guess this is what happens with the Winchesters.

I think 12x06 softened her up too much to the idea they just show up covered in the last hunt and want to watch TV

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Omg GARTH IS ALIVE. For now?

"You and Bess need to get someplace safe" :3 Thanks for looking after them for me

I mean now Eileen's dead and Garth is still alive I feel sort of bad for using his life to bargain with. Hence hoping he's mystery guy.

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Nyoooom

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oh that was a cruel fake trail of blood.

I mean real blood but fake anyone got killed because Jody is upright and Alex is next to her and Mary's just got a bleeding nose and a smirk while being wrapped in rope.

"Hello boys"

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Heee Alex and Jody took down Mary and they're being proud of each other for doing it

I love them so much so I am in absolute terror that one or both of them dies

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oh dear Dean's stuck in a room with Jody and Mary and she's taunting Jody for playing mom to Dean - 9x19 comes immediately to mind, and Momma taunting Jody for doing the same to Alex, which is how she got her in the first place. And Mary's tied to a chair and all she's got is the same demon!Dean thing from 10x03 to snark at Dean and tell Jody she can have him.

Honestly, Dean's adapted a lot very well to even survive watching Mary say she doesn't want him to his face.

He doesn't look HAPPY but he didn't like, burst into tears and/or storm out the room

"What's the matter, Dean? Am I too different from the Mary you know? Or too much the same?"

The whole messed up family thing in one go here >.> Mary mirroring Dean as demon!Dean having a dark side that renounced his family and claimed to have always been this thing, and Mary doing the same...

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Lol Mary's hiding behind "inpenetrable psychic walls" - that's not the metaphor the Bunker was warning about us or anything, OR anything deeply symbolic about all the character stuff for Sam and Dean where they hide behind walls of "the story became the story" and all that. Looks like maybe this is how Dean is forced to tell Mary all the dark horrible truth about her deal and all that we saw in the script they teased? That he has to try and find a way to ease her out from behind it, maybe taking a few scratches and shrapnel in the eye to get there, but... Can he grenade launcher through it with his words??

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"They can't be torn down with grenades"

Dean is too sad to even do a "watch me try"

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Random hunters!

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And Walt and Roy!

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"No hard feelings" yeah it's much easier to understand when Sam's alive and that was 7 years ago and honestly so much character growth since then or something

Nice demonstration of putting aside bad feelings to work together

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Dean leaves Sam to do the big presentation and Sam stumbles over introducing it as a personal problem he and Dean have ended up with, but then suddenly drops into inspirational speaking about "our people", taking on the burden as a leader :D

(I mean that's like the one thing they told us in PR but it was "sam n dean" and look I'm really proud of him okay? Berens writes a Sam I love)

Sam also admits, in front of Walt and Roy even, that he was one of the hunters who messed up and were suckered in by their flashy tech. Admitting that the current terrible scenario is his fault again, when that's what they originally killed him for - whatever was on the hunter grapevine about what Sam Winchester had done...

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blah blah America is great land of the free etc *Sam finishes the speech with an American flag flying behind him*

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But I mean good laying out of the philosophies of what they see hunting is really all about - the whole cops and robbers thing Sam talked about in 12x14 but thought the BMoL could help with that instead of seeing they weren't going to be anything like what he idealised about the job.

And he asks them to follow him :')

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I hope the near-death experience made Dean change his mind about dying bloody too

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Dean's so proud

Me too

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Oh no he's sitting it out. Literally because he blew his own fucking leg up.

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I'm sitting this out too... I'm in too much pain to continue doing anything useful right now

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Cup of coffee no. 1

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Morning! So Sam gets his big character growth moment to maybe not mess up leading a thing this time (people are going to die but they know that... more alarmingly, Jody's going with them >.>) and Dean's saying behind to fix Mary. He gives a speech to Sam about doing that which sounds almost exactly like the sort of thing Sam was saying about demon!Dean - if there's any of them still in there they're going to find it and bring them back.

The Mary stuff has always been emotionally more on Dean's side just because Sam would be perfectly content for her to exist and see what happens (which is probably an unspoken part of how the BMoL suckered him in that he didn't mention in the big speech to the other hunters) - he gets the external evil to fight, something which helps fix his and especially Mary's mistakes by taking down the operation, while Dean deal with Mary.

It only just occurred to me typing this, even though I've had like 14 hours since I found out what the plan was, that that puts Sam in a Ketch-ish direction if he's going to be anywhere predictable. I'm still torn about this because I want Sam to kill him for Eileen but Mary's got a personal beef too and I'd honestly be sort of confused if despite being the least-most-invested in killing Ketch, Dean doesn't get pitted against him, partially because this is The Raid pt.2 (this time the hunters doing exactly what the vampires did when they were all being killed off) and partly because stuff just kind of happens to Dean more. But it's entirely unfair of him to hog ALL the emotional catharsis if he's got Toni and Mary with him trying to fix Mary, and then ALSO has to deal with an unexpected Ketch

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Oh dear, Alex just told Jody to kick it in the ass while heading off to a safe house with Donna. It's sort of the show generic rallying cry because Kim Manners, but it's also the Ellen and Jo bye bye phrase, and I don't like this. I have suddenly remembered I am very very worried about one or both of them, and Alex unfortunately still don't have much point to be in this episode except it's weird to pretend Jody doesn't have a family just because the actresses need herding, Claire's purposefully driven off into the sunset so doesn't seem to be a part of this, and that leaves Alex here to either kill or react to Jody being killed.

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Sam and Dean do the bitch/jerk thing which in a show where there was actual threat to either of them dying would make them having a "don't die pls" farewell unnerving for the exact above reasons, but just makes me feel like everyone's having tearful goodbyes to try and pretend the stakes are equally high - at least, the characters think so - to obscure killing off Jody.

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The BMoL have Sam and Dean on their board with "ELIMINATED" underneath them. Losers.

Aaaah I forgot Claire was a potential target though. The WORST thing they could do is kill her off-screen without ceremony and let Jody and Alex find out because Jody bursts into the control room and sees Claire's picture with "ELIMINATED" under it

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Oh nope Ketch is getting nervous about where his asset is so he gets the "keep it between us" info that Mary's in Lebanon, Kansas, aka time for Ketch to not be around to get killed in the base (making it infinitely easier to raid for everyone else) and for him to go exactly where I assumed he would.

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Sorry Sam, you get the second hand reassurance that Ketch paid for it >.>

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Nighty night, Dean and Mary :D I'm surprised they didn't just say African Dream Root but I suppose the BMoL have had time to develop these technologies and magical chemistry that makes the stuff work, and dream root does come with the problem that you can literally kill someone in one of the dreams, it's so real, and tidying up all the lore on how to do this sort of thing would make sense if they wanted to not have to deal with any odd plotholes from that. Using electrodes and stuff to link Dean and Mary connects them without the basic way dream root does it, polyjuice potion style, so theoretically neither of them should have control over the other, although Dean's entering Mary's head?

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WHERE'S THE SOCK MONKEY? INACURRATE. FAKE.

Oh well, I suppose there's some sort of weird symbolism sticking Dean in that chair to wake up but without Dean's sock monkey it just doesn't feel real to me.

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I suppose it could be any old day of the week not like dropping Dean directly into the scene in 1x01, since it's daylight beyond the windows, so perhaps Mary has been tidying and Dean's sock monkey is in his room where it belongs and it just happened to be on the floor in 1x01 because she hadn't tidied that day >.>

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Dean whatever you do do not pick up the tiny Sammy. He's very cute but I have a bad feeling about randomly appearing babies.

Oh it's so weird to regress Mary back to the Mary she was stuck at the whole time of the show for 11 seasons. I mean MARY said she was stuck there in 12x03 as well but her surface actions have all been really different, obviously. And at this point... Dean looks stunned to see her and I don't think it's just because it's the "wow Mom" shock he would get all the previous times, but now, FINALLY looking at her as someone who she USED to be...

Oh no he's so small.

This is what he looked like when he wore the "I wuv hugs" shirt. He's seeing it from the other side now.

Dean could pick HIMSELF up.

Oh noooo he's eating PB&J I didn't sign up for this.

I was expecting him to do this but I was not expecting it to be Dark Side of the Moon over again instead of 1x01. I thought he was going to go do something similar to Sam in the vision Azazel showed him in 2x21, but I suppose the point is that they return to the most important moment to them, and for Dean it was eating PB&J with his mom. It's utterly tragic that Dean and Mary have the same Heaven memory but from different sides, because one of the worst  things about Heaven is the isolation - if you don't know to start pressing on the walls looking for roads or loose threads, you can stay in a dream for eternity, and Mary and Dean might be living the exact same moment over and over again, but without each other... I'm not saying they should be soulmates, I'm saying Heaven should be more like what Ash made of it without the sneaking around and needing an advanced understanding of quantum physics or an angel to tell you what to do to start hopping between Heavens.

Of course put too many people together and they start talking and questioning and it's easier to keep them content if they don't have the ability to think about their situation deeply and philosophically, but are drugged up in their Heaven dream with happiness and mindless contentment living over their best times again.

And now Dean's stuck on the outside looking in of the same moment just as Sam was 7 years ago (you know maybe last night I was wondering if we'd come back here because I was thinking Roy and Walt were a very obvious clue... This is what happens when  you take 14 hours off)

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YEAH JODY. FUCK THE LAW. RUN A GUY OVER. SHOOT SOMEONE.

LOL Roy and Walt are driving Gadreel's car

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Of course in the way the show endlessly loops around itself, what Dean is doing, especially the sitting opposite Mary while her brain is hacked thing, is 9x10 again. Toni is Crowley but this time Dean is going in himself.

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"You're choosing this" *Dean is horrified* *has only just gone through this with Cas last year* He hates that anyone would choose not free will because, well, contradiction. But Mary has regressed back to how she would have been in Heaven - living in the dream and not really able to think about what's outside herself, and so the choice to stay is very easy: abstract pain and harsh reality, or just not thinking about it. In a way it's almost like trying to right what she feels was done wrong to her - all those gifsets comparing it to Buffy talking about how she didn't ask to be brought back and how she had been happy in Heaven. To Mary, THAT was the violation of her free will...

"I hate you"

Aaand Dean reaches the most dramatic part of HIS character arc relating to Mary.

Ironically one of the B99 episodes I caught up while laying around like a dead fish yesterday included one where Holt got annoyed Amy wouldn't stand up to him even after he lost her favourite pen, and eventually wound her up enough to make her yell at him and dare to disrespect her superior officer (... to an Amy degree anyway :P) and, yeah. Same deal; Dean's been completely INCAPABLE of expressing anything negative to/about Mary, and even the argument in 12x14 was more a sort of downwards bump in this relationship, because within the episode he decided to reconcile with her *just* because she was Mary, and of course the argument was not as stark and final sounding as "I hate you" - reconciling with her after was just putting that aside in order to keep her around, not any sort of conclusion to this fight.

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lol getting some more use out of the sci fi corridors to randomly mimic the opening of A New Hope, though the BMoL are literally "the empire" and the American hunters are the "rebels"

-

oh I think Roy or Walt is already dead. Lol. Sucks to be them.

(they DID just think they were doing what was right in 5x16 but still. They've been a statisticaly anomoly to be someone who killed a Winchester and lived to tell the tale (I suppose the lady from Wishful Thinking as well but she was as much a victim of the spell as anything so it doesn't... count...?? I suppose the people from Mystery Spot who helped kill Dean all those 1000s of time as well :P))

Anyway being a redshirt on this mission gets them killed on the Winchesters' behalf so fair's fair

-

Oh boy here's the stuff from Dean's confrontation with Mary, and aside from squeezing her eyes not to listen it's completely one-sided as Jensen delivers the sort of Dean monologue which of all the monologues which should have got him an Emmy already, this is the best. This is terrible :D

He's using instead of "we love you" truths to get to her, the HoRRIBLE truth that she's been owed THIS ENTIRE TIME

Anyway he's blaming his whole tragic backstory on her instead of Azazel, because the story has become the story that even after 4x03 Dean's managed to keep Mary pretty much exactly on the pedestal he always kept her on rather than confront that she is the root cause of his angst, which involves her death... He's letting go of everything. Seeing her saying she wants the best for him and will keep him safe, but he knows she's saying this having ALREADY made the deal, and that her entire happy life with her kids was ALWAYS a sham because she ALWAYS knew something bad was coming, but while she was living like this she put herself entirely into that dream to ignore it.

"You left us, ALONE, because Dad was just a shell" holy crap the show is actually OVER, what's even left to SAY

I know when Mary came back, around this time last year we were screeching about the development he'd be offered by this, by finally getting to confront his family history again and get to be at peace with the way he was raised and all that... It's gutting to watch it in real time though

"I had to be a father, and I had to be a mother"

holy shit I wish I could send this scene back to season 10 me to see :D Like, right after 10x03. Because the character thread in Dean I've been following the entire time I've been in fandom has been waiting to see if this would ever get resolved well, after 10x03 where demon!Dean blurted out similar to Sam but from the worst possible place, at HIS lowest point. (This is not Dean's lowest point. Lowest point for his relationship with his mom, but higest peak he's ever stood on for his own personal strength. Holy crap I'm proud of my boy.)

(The phrasing here is all kind of reminiscent of 10x05's song about John and Mary and it's making me laugh inappropriately because the start of season 10 nailed all this so much)

And the thing is by setting this all here in the Dark Side of the Moon day it's a completely timeless moment - like sure there's some vague outside stuff going on like it's BECAUSE of the BMoL but Dean's ONLY talking about their history, their past, how his life was all the time since ever, and the historical facts of Mary's life. Any time since 5x16 they COULD have pulled the trigger on a scene like this, because all they needed was a run up to get Dean in the right mood to say it all. Of course this is the end result of a massive, at least 4 years project to tear Dean down and build him back up and have his character development go on an absolutely incredible journey... At this point I feel like the sports commentator yelling encouragement on the final lap before an absolutely record breaking victory.

"I couldn't do it - and you want to know what that was like?" YES PLEASE KEEP TALKING

Dean lists all the shit that's happened to Sam like the bitter Sam!girl he is and says "all because of you"

I think at this point I just want to look back at 1x09, where Mary as a ghost goes to Sam, before almost any of this happens except Jess dying and the horrible upbringing, and says "I'm sorry" because she KNEW what she'd done to him, and she died guilty about it. She said in 12x02,

MARY: And when we do find Sam... how am I gonna face him? DEAN: What do you mean? MARY: That yellow-eyed thing would never have come for him that night if I... I started all of this.

but with all the massive miscommunication themes she didn't go talk to Sam when she should have - when he came to her in the end of the episode and hugged her, she should have apologised there, and made a start on it. And if not then, then in 12x03, although I'm feeling like from the moment she cut her hair it was too late and she was already avoiding who she had once been, chopping off the style associated with herself as their mom and stepping into what would become this demon!Dean-like brainwashed Mary. I suppose it makes sense to say in 12x02 she raised the problem that she had to face sam somehow, and she DIDN'T and then we got 12x03, the mirror episode to this one on this side of the story (and it feels like Berens has made one of those clear lines through the season, with 12x14 being mirrored on the other side of this episode, in the way Robbie owned season 9 - so like I hand season 9 to Robbie, I'm giving Berens season 12 :P Good work on all this, sir.) In 12x03 Mary is faced with the haunted house full of mirrors to exactly what she's NOT seeing here - Sam as the burned, soulless doll in a crib, the object the demons passed around, and eventually was nothing but a hollow person, as Dean ends it on describing that Sam lost his soul. And for Dean, she sees the little boy, and she hasn't moved past that, but Dean had to tell her from the moment she died he wasn't that any more - he was the parent of the family. She's got her family regressed here again, because confronting it in 12x03 just made her run away. And this is as far as she's run, through the season, literally just running on the spot in this exact place.

Outside Mary is crying, but inside Mary is refusing to show anything. Maybe it's just because where her consciousness is - she won't cry on the face Dean can see. He's leaking tears in the dream but not on the outside. But yeah, she can pick one (1) set of tear ducts to angrily repress. Because at the end of the day, Mary has always been the one more like Dean.

Dean FINALLY gets through the "i hate yous" he's always needed to say to get back to "i love you"

*slowly sinks underneath the blankets* Yeah, saying "I love you" to Mary is the only way he's ever been able to get it out before - the speculation being that once he's worked through his COLLOSAL issues with his parents he might be able to say "I love you" more casually to others because he's at peace. I can SEE him settling into being at peace now, which I think is all that Amara INTENDED when bringing Mary back, but obviously the MASSIVE repercussions going on outside their little insular family bubble.

And Dean forgives her. And says on the other side of this, they can rebuild their family and make it work. AAAAAAH.

(AAAAAAAAH)

Finally he gets to the "but I need you to fight"

"Mom I need you to see me" Oh god this is so good and painful

Mary's crying on the inside too! But in this case it's good because that's the part of her that can see Dean

And we're back to mirroring the start of the season, the very opening scene, but this time Mary recognises Dean and gets to say his name first, instead of Dean crashing out of the trees at her, yelling "Mom", and getting his ass handed to him :P He had to tell her who she was, but this time he told her who HE was. And NOW she sees him, now he took down every single wall between them.

-

LOL Oops bye Toni nice knowin' ya except for all the times you were terrible.

If Dean had trusted her - and if they'd changed the freakin LOCKS again - she might not be dead.

Ketch does the thing again where instead of just killing his targets, he wants to talk to them, so he wakes Dean up instead of just slitting his and Mary's throats while they're unconscious.

-

I suppose now it's on Mary to wake up and save Dean

-

I was torn on who needed to kill the dark mirror of John more, but honestly, Dean's done, came out of the oven perfectly risen and smelling great, so he does not need to reject John. He sees John accurately and describes him in that speech in such a way... His memory doesn't have to haunt Dean, and he's forgiven Mary too.

(And we never mentioned the cupids. Pfft.)

-

christ, Dean's being given the Swan Song beatdown with his leg not working. For once he fights back because Ketch is absolutely not a loved one, but he's completely outmatched, and Ketch is enjoying punching him.

He says Mary said absolutely nothing about Dean - Dean knows from being in Mary's head how she DOES care about him, and that she was being brainwashed - he doesn't know for how long... Point is, these words can't hurt. He already made his peace with Mary too.

-

I think Dean just threw Ketch through the SW DW table, which is hilariously dark about their legacy >.> It's more about in the contacts they build outside themselves, and the WORK they do, than anything they write on a table - shots of Sam and Dean thinking about the world while sitting alone in the bunker or in/on the car are often very sad about how isolated and alone they are.

Thinking of which, we're rapidly running out of episode for me to be worried about Jody in.

-

Ahaha Ketch brought a gun to the fight. He says he's not stupid after Dean points out how stupid he was, but he's got his back turned to Mary, and Dean's now in exactly the same place SAM was in 10x03 after the demon!Dean chase, where Cas suddenly came out of nowhere and grabbed Dean.

Oh Dean flinched, he had been watching Ketch. Nice surprise. Mary's back :D

Dean hobbles over to stand at her side.

"I knew you were a killer. You both are." "you're right." Yeah, Dean n Mary are a pair aren't they :P Both been through this same arc now. Dean owns the description but I think he has a very different definition than Ketch, for all people tell him that he's a killer. He can kill things for his job and when it needs to be done, but that does NOT mean he's a psychopath like Ketch. And Mary has a heart too and chose the right side.

-

Jody pls don't stand with your back to the open door - this is literally how that random no name got killed in 12x14 and I really really don't like you not covering your back, especially when you're a cop, and even when you think you cleared this place.

-

Oh they all survived. Sam got the news about Lucifer, decided to pass on working with a maybe lesser evil to deal with a bigger one. Jody saves his bacon with the big kill shot.

-

Where does Dean even get prescription painkillers. I suppose he'd have got some when  he broke his leg but aside from that it's pretty much up to them to work out how much to medicate themselves by whatever illegal means off-the-grid people can fake prescriptions or health insurance. Also America's healthcare system is terrible because it seems like an entire adversity all by itself to their lives, while in a free healthcare country... yeah, not so much a big deal :P

-

Mary's got the season 7 Cas guilt now - everything that happened is her fault, she feels. I mean she certainly really helped the BMoL get a foothold and so on although they seemed pretty intent to come on over whether she had anything to do with it or not. But the broken family relationships, yeah, she ran away >.>

-

"What if he can't forgive me?" "Mom. You don't have to be scared of me" *Winchester family sandwich*

I think I'm starting to cry at this show way more often than I used to but oh my god I'm so happy for Sam right now. He misses the entiiiiiiiiire thing but the point he made back at the start of the season is he just wanted Mary THERE and her problem is she was TERRIFIED of him, and having the whole equivalent drama to what Dean just went through with her, but if she knew Sam, that's not him. He zenned out in season 5-7 and has already recovered from like, the whole thing, and piled on totally different trauma :P His arc was so important to resolve to the story they already completed the arc in Swan Song, and it wasn't about Mary but it WAS about peace with himself, and of course all done with external actions and plot drama while Dean had to deal with the internal stuff, literally going inside Mary's head to sort it. Anyway point is Mary doesn't need to be scared of him because there's nothing to be scared of. It's literally as simple as he wants his mom, should she happen to be here. Unlike Dean's entire character arc since season 1 still having been unresolved. And the heart of it was stuff that was obvious since season 1 or the first episode, but Sam got his resolution in season 5, while taking us back to that season 5 moment, showed how Dean did NOT get his resolution when he needed it, because it was never JUST about sam but his entire family.

I wonder how he'll be next season, no matter if Mary survives it or not.

-

Thinking of which, now Berens has finished writing season 12 for us, I suppose Dabb has a whole bucket of fuckery waiting to throw us into season 13.

[valmos]

Scooby-Doo and Scrappy-Doo (first format) 1-16 and end thoughts. See myself next year.

Episode 1: The Scarab Lives!

Monster: The Blue Scarab

Interests: I never had a problem with Scrappy as a kid, but I didn’t love him either. Going to be interesting to see how my perception has changed. This intro, if you asked me to describe it just two seconds prior, I would be clueless, but a second in and it all came rushing back so fast that I have blunt force trauma. Scooby,  Shaggy, and Scappy eat a mango malt, well Scooby eats Shaggy’s. Velma, Daphne, and Velma are eating banana sundaes. (Scappy’s voice is not the one I remember and it is throwing me off) Romeo Jewelry. A gargoyle is falling on Scappy, cut to commercial.  Scrappy makes a trap. Scooby falls in it, predictably. The Blue Scarab tries to legit murder Scooby, Shaggy, and Scrappy. Shaggy screams out, “Fred! *slightly higher pitch* Velma! *Pterodactyl screech* Daphne!” Scappy looks really weird running all fours... Scooby can draw fairly well, or it was just the means for a gag, hard to tell. 

Episode 2: The Night Ghoul of Wonderworld

Monster: Nightghoul of London

Interests: The gang at a knock off Fantasy Island. Velma’s fantasy is to solve a case with Sherlock Holmes. The place is operated by robots and they are off to Londonworld...so it is also like that Westworld movie, and puts the name of this, Wonderworld into context. they pass through Prehistoricworld (I think they use a shot from the Godzilla cartoon as a close up of a dinosaur), Outlawworld (cough). Velma fangirls when meeting roboHolmes.  Velma wears a deerstalker  (I think that is what the hat is called). Night Goul chases after the three Ss and ends up in the water, only taking plot damage to make it able to hurt humans. Velma solves the case she was here to solve. Scooby splits a robohorse in two. Scooby  and Shaggy eat some fish and fries, Scooby eats most of Shaggy’s, causing Shaggy to eat newspaper. 

Episode 3: Strange Encounters of a Scooby Kind

Monster: Alien 

Interests: Scooby and Shaggy are tired of hiking after five minutes (same), so Scrappy stops and cooks steaks for them.A police chase ruins the steaks. Shaggy mentions Luke Skywalker, Mark Hamill played a voice in ... I forgot even what series it was, but he was a VA on a past Scooby episode. Scrappy traps Velma, Daphne and Fred. Daphne tries to give Scrappy a kiss to forgive him but he runs off to catch an alien. Scrappy volunteers Scooby, Shaggy and himself to be bait.   

Episode 4: The Neon Phantom of the Roller Disco!

Monster: Neon Phantom

Interests: Gang is in Hollywood to see the premier of “Hair Grease Fever”. (That is a mashup) They  get lost and see a rock group called Nightmare. Mystery Machine license plate, AC 712. 

Episode 5: Shiver and Shake, That Demon's a Snake

Monster: Snake Demon

Interests: Snake Demon looks more lizard. The gang is in Haiti. Scappy has an alarm set to wake him up at midnight to get a snack, he is his uncle’s nephew. Scooby and Shaggy make a sandwich, which Scappy eats. (Scooby gets a dose of his own medicine). The gang is in Miami. Scooby and Shaggy are charter members of the ACA, America Cowards Association. They have a handshake. Scrappy make another trap and catches Scooby and Shaggy. Scrappy eats an entire devil’s food cake. Gang is in New Orleans. It so happens a Mardi Gras parade is happen. Velma dresses as a police officer. Snake Demon dressed as a clown, really terrifying unmasking.

Episode 6: The Scary Sky Skeleton

Monster: Sky Skeleton

Interests: The is going to go see Wendy, Daphne’s high school girlfriend, (Probably girl friend, but well Daphne is now bi/pan. You can’t stop me.) Wendy is a stunt pilot.  Scooby laughs at Shaggy’s joke and then says he doesn’t get it, this is a running gag in Pup Named... i think. Scrappy traps Scooby and Shaggy, but actually somewhat helps them. 

Episode 7: The Demon of the Dugout

Monster: Dragon Beast

Interests: Gang is in Japan, to watch international baseball, but they are late... also this was possible the last game of the series... why are they just arriving in Japan? Shaggy and Scooby in a taxi, “At least  we are safe till morning.” Monster on top of  baseball stadium, “You are not safe anywhere” I don’t know which I have a harder time believing... that he heard Shaggy from at least 100 feet up, or that he then swung from the top of the stadium to the roof of the moving taxi without making noise alerting those inside. Scappy makes a trap, Scooby and Shaggy are trapped. 

Episode 8: The Hairy Scare of the Devil Bear

Monster: Demon Bear ... erm  Devil Bear after the opening

Interests: Grand  Canyon vacation. Chuck Hunt... that is a dangerous name.. Shaggy and Scooby take sandwich break, Scrappy eats it. Shaggy has a coward’s handbook. 

Episode 9: Twenty Thousand Screams Under the Sea

Monster: Sea Beast

Interests: Beachwear. Gang is in Mexico. They are here to watch a cliff diving competition. 

Episode 10: I Left My Neck in San Francisco

Monster: Lady Vampire

Interests: The gang is visiting Alcatraz. Daphne isn’t feeling well. Shaggy and Scooby think Daphne might be the monster.Shaggy orders one giant sized pizza heavy on the garlic. Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy eat it. Scrappy makes a trap and catches Scooby and Shaggy. But in trying to free Scooby and Shaggy, he catches her, but then lets her go. Monster wore an old lady disguise over her vampire one.

Episode 11: When You Wish Upon a Star Creature

Monster: Star Creature

Interests: Velma is excited to go to the observatory. (There was a little more, but I accidentally reloaded the tab and I don’t want to watch the episode again)

Episode 12: The Ghoul, the Bat and the Ugly

Monster: Shadow Creature 

Interests: Horror movie reward show, everyone is in costume. Velma has a new voice... even though she will only be around a few more episodes (:(). Scooby thinks Shaggy turned into a werewolf. Scooby and Shaggy try to make a snack, but the monster interrupts. (Gosh this Velma... her VA is just off in the acting and like the mixing is different from everyone else.) Scrappy traps Scooby and Shaggy.

Episode 13: Rocky Mountain Yiiiii!

Monster: Ghost of Jeremiah Pratt

Interests: Winter cloths. Scrappy gets offended being called cute and wants to fight. Scooby laughing, “I don’t get it,” again. “Ghosts don’t knock,” Shaggy says.. despite ghosts having knocked plenty of times, even in this series in episode 7. Normal trap, Scrappy ruins it. 

Episode 14: The Sorcerer's a Menace

Monster: Ghost of the Great...wizard, I can’t make out the name. Ardane? 

Interests: Shaggy gets saltwater taffy, Scooby steals it, Scrappy steals and eats it. Scrappy gets upset at being called cute, again. Normal trap, ruined by Scrappy. (I don’t think the Mystery Machine was in this episode?)

Episode 15: Lock the Door, It's a Minotaur!

Monster: Minotaur

Interests: The gang is in Greece. Scooby and Shaggy bounce on the monster’s lap... Scraopy sets up a trap, he catches a bystander, who he has been harassing a few times this episode. Scooby eats some stuffed grape leaves, and is going to eat Shaggy’s but Scrappy eat them first. Shaggy has an American Cowards Club credit card. I  wonder the American Cowards Association feels about Shaggy being a member to both? Oh a maze. Shaggy and Scooby eat (and steal) olives. No Mystery Machine.

Episode 16: The Ransom of Scooby Chief

Monster: None. Just some kidnappers.

Interests: (Hello 80s!) The gang is in New York city, where Scrappy grew up. (Velma, Daphne, and Fred drops Shaggy and the dogs off at the start of the episode.. is this how they are going to leave Fred and Velma..) A Tony and Carl recognize Scooby-Doo as someone famous, and can’t believe they are two dogs like that. Scrappy secret whistle to one of is puppy pals, Annie, this also alerts Duke. They are also talking dogs. Shoplifting is a CRIME sign. Scooby just walks into the kidnapper’s truck. Shaggy jumps in while chasing the truck. One of the kidnappers calls Hollywood to get ransom for Scooby.. What? Three dogs in a trench coat. “Hand over my Uncle before I hand over my fist!” A puppy saying she will use her feminine wiles... Scrappy trap, foils Shaggy and Scooby’s escape plan for like the fourth time. Pups are captured. (Oh good the rest of the gang does show up for the ending) 

End Thoughts: Despite remembering the intro, I remembered nothing of these episodes. Like I remember the monster design of the Minotaur and the Star Creature and that is it. Scrappy wasn’t that bad, in this at least (I still probably would have preferred it without him). I can see him being annoying, with his arrogance, ignorance, and boundless energy, but like he is a child in a show without character development. And his love and adoration (even when misplaced) for his uncle is sweet. 

I think Scrappy’s biggest flaw is one the has effected the entire gang since their return in 1976, and I know this is going to sound weird, but he lacks depth. Like in Where Are You and (to a lesser extent) New Movies there were small things that expanded on the base of the characters and sell the gangs friendship and built chemistry, even if it was throw away or plot convenience (Like Velma having Shaggy’s cold medicine in the first episode. or Shaggy having a spare pair of Velma’s glasses). It is really something subtle with the writing that has been missing, like it feels like the gang is only together because the plot says they are. And while you can pull on the past for the gang to have some depth, you can’t for Scrappy. 

All that said, it isn’t really required to make the show enjoyable, but it would have helped. Like I am still enjoying myself, even though I felt creativity was a down this season, and Fred, Daphne and Velma felt shoved to the side a lot (soon to be shoved off entirely). 

[thatsnotcanonpodcasts]

Firefly, MK11 & Rainbows

Here are once again with the fabulous Nerds for the weekly episode of hijinks and merriment. This week we look at topics that will hopefully entertain you, perhaps educate you, perchance even make you laugh. As usual we have our three Nerds, idiots, nutjobs, wackjobs, funny farm contenders, or as we like to say, your hosts. Bucky, Professor and the DJ. Bucky is our slightly older, kind of grumpy Nerd, who dislikes Mumble rappers, reality TV and generally stupidity. Professor our younger Nerd who likes gaming, long walks to the camp fire, and his Switch when on the bus. Last but not least, we have the DJ, the resident Droid that no one is looking for, who likes anime, games and laughing.

            First topic up this week is about some new illustrated novels, or omics, from the Firefly franchise. The DJ is challenged to finally watch the series to help him discover his inner Browncoat, will he be brave enough to walk down the street in a hat like that and show he aint afraid of nothing? We will find out, but by my pretty blue bonnet if he doesn’t we will aim to misbehave and cause mischief.

            Next up we look at the stress and traumatic conditions developers are suffering through to bring us new games. With reports of people developing PTSD, and hiding this fact so they can get jobs. This is seriously messed up, what these people are going through is downright wrong and needs to be looked at. Also Buck has a rant about the need to look after each other because he is sick and tired of morons putting profit before people.

            Last up Buck brings us an article about Rainbows. No, he hasn’t become a hippie or something drastic. He just felt we needed to take a moment and look around us and admire the simple things, you know, kind of like smell the roses and noticed the politicians as people (we think they are, but don’t hold us to that – Ed.). So we have 20 facts about rainbows and one of which is that the Greeks thought there were only three colours in the rainbow.

            We follow this with the usual look at the games we have been playing this week and give you a run down on them. Concluding with the episode with the regular Shout outs, remembrances, birthdays and events for the week that we all love. As always, take care of each other and stay hydrated.

EPISODE NOTES:

Firefly comics - https://comicbook.com/comics/2019/05/13/firefly-the-sting-joss-whedon-boom-studios/

MK 11 & PTSD - https://www.kotaku.com.au/2019/05/id-have-these-extremely-graphic-dreams-what-its-like-to-work-on-ultra-violent-games-like-mortal-kombat-11/

Rainbows - http://discovermagazine.com/2019/may/20-things-you-didnt-know-about--rainbows

Games currently playing

Professor

– Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead - https://cataclysmdda.org/

Buck

– Monster Truck Drive - https://store.steampowered.com/app/847870/Monster_Truck_Drive/

DJ

– Dota 2 - https://store.steampowered.com/app/570/Dota_2/

Other topics discussed

Changes to Santa Clarita Diet

- https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/santa-clarita-diet-creator-explains-season-3-talks-season-4-1198429

Ed Boon’s take on fatalities

- https://www.businessinsider.com.au/mortal-kombat-creator-ed-boon-explains-how-new-fatalities-are-made-2019-3?r=US&IR=T

Facebook content moderators having PTSD

- https://futurism.com/the-byte/facebook-content-moderators-lawsuit-ptsd

Grumpy Cat (internet personality)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grumpy_Cat

All Dogs gone to Heaven (1989 film)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_Dogs_Go_to_Heaven

Linguistic relativity and the colour naming

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Linguistic_relativity_and_the_color_naming_debate

Chromatic aberration

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chromatic_aberration

Pot of gold at the end of the rainbow

- http://luckyireland.com/the-origin-of-a-pot-of-gold-at-the-end-of-the-rainbow/

Minecraft Earth (mobile game)

- https://www.minecraft.net/en-us/earth

Dota 2 New Character: Mars

- Character bio - https://dota2.gamepedia.com/Mars

- Mars’ character design - https://steamcdn-a.akamaihd.net/apps/dota2/images/mars/hero_mars93fd33s5.jpg

Shadow of the Colossus (2006 game)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadow_of_the_Colossus

Trials Fusion (2014 game)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trials_Fusion

Stunt Car Arena (arcade game)

- http://www.arcadespot.com/game/stunt-car-arena/

Millionaire’s advice to young people – stop spending smashed avocados

- https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/may/15/australian-millionaire-millennials-avocado-toast-house

Colorectal Cancer also known as colon cancer

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colorectal_cancer

Diamond Jubilee of Elizabeth II

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diamond_Jubilee_of_Elizabeth_II

Queen Victoria

- Bio - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_Victoria

- Queen Victoria with her grandchildren and other guests - https://images.immediate.co.uk/volatile/sites/7/2018/01/Queen_victoria_family-fd7d69f.jpg?quality=90&resize=768,574

Stevie Wonder catches microphone stand

-  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUgngvsWLlE

Carrie Fisher roasts George Lucas

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ97s396kb0

Mark Zuckerberg will eat meat he kills

- https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/07/13/mark-zuckerberg-will-only-eat-meat-he-kills-himself_a_23027199/

Apple loses money than the value of Facebook

- https://www.businessinsider.com.au/apples-market-cap-falls-by-450-billion-more-than-the-value-of-facebook-2019-1?r=US&IR=T

Walt Disney

- Bio and urban myth on Walt’s body is frozen - https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walt_Disney

- Human bones in Disneyland - https://collinsrace1.wordpress.com/2018/10/29/are-there-human-bones-at-disney-parks/

Elvis Lives (That’s Not Canon Podcast)

- https://thatsnotcanon.com/elvislivespodcast

Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of The Caribbean character)

- https://pirates.fandom.com/wiki/Jack_Sparrow

Henry Sutton (Australian Inventor)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Sutton_(inventor) 

Shoutouts

7 May 1999 - The Mummy opened and grossed $43 million in 3,210 theatres in the United States on its opening weekend. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mummy_(1999_film)

14 May 1796 - English country doctor Edward Jenner administers the first inoculation against smallpox, using cowpox pus, in Berkeley, Gloucestershire - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Jenner

Remembrances

11 May 2019 – Peggy Lipton, American actress, model, and singer. She was well-known through her role as flower child Julie Barnes in the counterculture television series The Mod Squad (1968–1973), for which she won the Golden Globe Award for Best Actress – Television Series Drama in 1970. Her fifty-year career in television, film, and stage included many roles, includingNorma Jennings in David Lynch'sTwin Peaks. Lipton was formerly married to the musician and producer Quincy Jones and was the mother of their two daughters, Rashida Jones and Kidada Jones. She died of colon cancer at 72 in Los Angeles,California. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peggy_Lipton

13 May 2019 – Doris Day, American actress, singer, and animal welfare activist. She began her career as a big band singer in 1939, achieving commercial success in 1945 with two No. 1 recordings, "Sentimental Journey" and "My Dreams Are Getting Better All the Time" with Les Brown & His Band of Renown. She left Brown to embark on a solo career and recorded more than 650 songs from 1947 to 1967. Day's film career began during the latter part of the classical Hollywood era with the film Romance on the High Seas, leading to a 20-year career as a motion picture actress. She starred in films of many genres, including musicals, comedies, and dramas. She played the title role in Calamity Jane and starred in Alfred Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much  with James Stewart. Her best-known films are those in which she co-starred with Rock Hudson, chief among them 1959's Pillow Talk, for which she was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress. She also worked with James Garner on both Move Over, Darling (1963) and The Thrill of It All, and also starred with Clark Gable, Cary Grant, James Cagney, David Niven, Jack Lemmon, Frank Sinatra, Richard Widmark, Kirk Douglas, Lauren Bacall and Rod Taylor in various movies. After ending her film career in 1968, only briefly removed from the height of her popularity, she starred in the sitcom The Doris Day Show. Day became one of the biggest film stars in the early 1960s, and as of 2012 was one of eight performers to have been the top box-office earner in the United States four times. In 2011, she released her 29th studio album My Heart which contained new material and became a UK Top 10 album. She received the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award and a Legend Award from the Society of Singers. In 1960, she was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress, and was given the Cecil B. DeMille Award for lifetime achievement in motion pictures in 1989. In 2004, she was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom; this was followed in 2011 by the Los Angeles Film Critics Association's Career Achievement Award. She died of pneumonia at 97 in Carmel Valley Village, California. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doris_Day

14 May 1919 - Henry John Heinz, German-American entrepreneur who founded the H. J. Heinz Company based in Pittsburgh,Pennsylvania. He was born in that city, the son of German immigrants from the Palatinate who came independently to the United States in the early 1840s. Heinz developed his business into a national company which made more than 60 food products; one of its first was tomato ketchup. He was influential for introducing high sanitary standards for food manufacturing. He also exercised a paternal relationship with his workers, providing health benefits, recreation facilities, and cultural amenities. His descendants carried on the business until fairly recently, selling their remaining holdings to the predecessor company of what is now Kraft Heinz. Heinz was the great-grandfather of former U.S. Senator H. John Heinz III of Pennsylvania. He died of pneumonia at 75 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_J._Heinz

14 May 1998 - Frank Sinatra, American singer, actor and producer who was one of the most popular and influential musical artists of the 20th century. He is one of the best-selling music artists of all time, having sold more than 150 million records worldwide. Born to Italian immigrants in Hoboken, New Jersey, Sinatra began his musical career in the swing era with bandleaders Harry James and Tommy Dorsey. Sinatra found success as a solo artist after he signed with Columbia Records in 1943, becoming the idol of the "bobby soxers". He released his debut album, The Voice of Frank Sinatra, in 1946. Sinatra's professional career had stalled by the early 1950s, and he turned to Las Vegas, where he became one of its best known residency performers as part of the Rat Pack. His career was reborn in 1953 with the success of From Here to Eternity, with his performance subsequently winning an Academy Award and Golden Globe Award for Best Supporting Actor. Sinatra released several critically lauded albums, including In the Wee Small Hours, Songs for Swingin' Lovers!, Come Fly with Me, Only the Lonely and Nice 'n' Easy. Sinatra left Capitol in 1960 to start his own record label, Reprise Records, and released a string of successful albums. In 1965, he recorded the retrospective September of My Years and starred in the Emmy-winning television special Frank Sinatra: A Man and His Music. After releasing Sinatra at the Sands, recorded at the Sands Hotel and Casino in Vegas with frequent collaborator Count Basie in early 1966, the following year he recorded one of his most famous collaborations with Tom Jobim, the album Francis Albert Sinatra & Antonio Carlos Jobim. It was followed by 1968'sFrancis A. & Edward K. with Duke Ellington. Sinatra retired for the first time in 1971, but came out of retirement two years later and recorded several albums and resumed performing at Caesars Palace, and reached success in 1980 with "New York, New York". Using his Las Vegas shows as a home base, he toured both within the United States and internationally until shortly before his death in 1998. Sinatra forged a highly successful career as a film actor. After winning an Academy Award for From Here to Eternity, he starred in The Man with the Golden Arm, and received critical acclaim for his performance in The Manchurian Candidate. He appeared in various musicals such as On the Town, Guys and Dolls, High Society, and Pal Joey, winning another Golden Globe for the latter. Toward the end of his career, he became associated with playing detectives, including the title character in Tony Rome. Sinatra would later receive the Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award in 1971. On television, The Frank Sinatra Show began on ABC in 1950, and he continued to make appearances on television throughout the 1950s and 1960s. Sinatra was also heavily involved with politics from the mid-1940s, and actively campaigned for presidents such as Harry S. Truman, John F. Kennedy and Ronald Reagan. In crime, the FBI investigated Sinatra and his alleged relationship with the Mafia. He was honored at the Kennedy Center Honors in 1983, was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by Ronald Reagan in 1985, and the Congressional Gold Medal in 1997. Sinatra was also the recipient of eleven Grammy Awards, including the Grammy Trustees Award, Grammy Legend Award and the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. He was collectively included in Time magazine's compilation of the 20th century's 100 most influential people. After Sinatra's death, American music critic Robert Christgau called him "the greatest singer of the 20th century", and he continues to be seen as an iconic figure. He died of a heart attack at 82 in Los Angeles, California . - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Sinatra

14 May 2019 – Tim Conway, American comedic actor, writer, and director. He portrayed the inept Ensign Parker in the 1960s World War II situation comedy McHale's Navy, was a regular cast member on the 1970s variety and sketch comedy program The Carol Burnett Show, co-starred with Don Knotts in several films in the late 1970s and early 1980s, starred as the title character in the Dorf series of sports comedy films, and provided the voice of Barnacle Boy in the animated series SpongeBob SquarePants. He was particularly admired for his ability to depart from scripts with spontaneously improvised character details and dialogue, and he won six Primetime Emmy Awards during his career, four of which were awarded for The Carol Burnett Show, including one for writing. He died of normal pressure hydrocephalus at 85 in Los Angeles,California. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Conway

15 May 2019 - Rick Bennett, voice actor, known for X-Men: The Animated Series (1992), Balance of Power (1996) and X-Men vs. Street Fighter (1996) mainly as Cain Marko also known as The Juggernaut. He passed away in Toronto

- https://comicbook.com/tv-shows/2019/05/15/x-men-the-animated-series-juggernaut-voice-actor-passes-away/

Bio - https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0072001/

16 May 2019 – The Honourable Bob Hawke, Australian politician who served as the 23rd prime minister of Australia and Leader of the Labor Party from 1983 to 1991. Hawke served as Member of Parliament (MP) for Wills from 1980 to 1992 and was Labor's longest serving Prime Minister. Bob Hawke was born in Bordertown South Australia. The Hawke family then moved to Western Australia. He attended the University of Western Australia and then went on to Oxford University as a Rhodes Scholar. In 1956, Hawke joined the Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU) as a research officer. Having risen to become responsible for wage arbitration, he was elected ACTU President in 1969, where he achieved a high public profile. After a decade serving in that role, Hawke announced his intention to enter politics, and was subsequently elected to the House of Representatives as the Labor MP for Wills. Three years later, he led Labor to a landslide victory at the 1983 election and was sworn in as prime minister. He led Labor to victory three more times, in 1984, 1987 and 1990, making him the most electorally successful Labor Leader. The Hawke Government created Medicare and Landcare, brokered the Prices and Incomes Accord, established APEC, floated the Australian dollar, deregulated the financial sector, introduced the Family Assistance Scheme, announced "Advance Australia Fair" as the official national anthem, initiated superannuation pension schemes for all workers and oversaw passage of the Australia Act that removed all remaining jurisdiction by the United Kingdom from Australia. Hawke remains Labor's longest-serving prime minister, Australia's third-longest-serving Prime Minister and, until his death at the age of 89, Hawke was the oldest living former Australian Prime Minister. Hawke is the only Australian Prime Minister to be born in South Australia, and the only one raised and educated in Western Australia. He also held a world record for beer drinking; he downed 2 1⁄2 imperial pints (1.4 l)—equivalent to a yard of ale—from a sconce pot in 11 seconds as part of a college penalty. He died at 89 in Northbridge, New South Wales. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Hawke

Famous Birthdays

13 May 1950 - Stevie Wonder, American singer, songwriter, musician, record producer, and multi-instrumentalist. A child prodigy, Wonder is considered to be one of the most critically and commercially successful musical performers of the late 20th century. He signed with Motown's Tamla label at the age of 11 and continued performing and recording for Motown into the 2010s. He has been blind since shortly after his birth. Among Wonder's works are singles such as "Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours", "Superstition", "Sir Duke", "You Are the Sunshine of My Life", and "I Just Called to Say I Love You"; and albums such as Talking Book (1972), Innervisions (1973), and Songs in the Key of Life (1976). He has recorded more than 30 U.S. top-ten hits and received 25 Grammy Awards, one of the most-awarded male solo artists, and has sold more than 100 million records worldwide, making him one of the top 60 best-selling music artists. Wonder is also noted for his work as an activist for political causes, including his 1980 campaign to make Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday a holiday in the United States. In 2009, Wonder was named a United Nations Messenger of Peace. In 2013, Billboard magazine released a list of the Billboard Hot 100 All-Time Top Artists to celebrate the US singles chart's 55th anniversary, with Wonder at number six. He was born in Saginaw, Michigan - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stevie_Wonder

14 May 1944 – Geroge Lucas, American filmmaker and entrepreneur. Lucas is known for creating the Star Wars and Indiana Jones franchises and founding Lucasfilm,LucasArts and Industrial Light & Magic. He was the chairman and CEO of Lucasfilm before selling it to The Walt Disney Company in 2012. After graduating from the University of Southern California in 1967, Lucas co-founded American Zoetrope with filmmaker Francis Ford Coppola. Lucas wrote and directed THX 1138, based on his earlier student short Electronic Labyrinth: THX 1138 4EB, which was a critical success but a financial failure. His next work as a writer-director was the film American Graffiti, inspired by his youth in early 1960s Modesto, California, and produced through the newly founded Lucasfilm. The film was critically and commercially successful, and received five Academy Award nominations including Best Picture. Lucas' next film, the epic space opera Star Wars, had a troubled production but was a surprise hit, becoming the highest-grossing film at the time, winning six Academy Awards and sparking a cultural phenomenon. Lucas produced and cowrote the sequels The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. With director Steven Spielberg, he created the Indiana Jones films Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade. He also produced and wrote a variety of films through Lucasfilm in the 1980s and 1990s and during this same period Lucas' LucasArts developed high-impact video games, including Maniac Mansion, The Secret of Monkey Island  and Grim Fandango alongside many video games based on the Star Wars universe. In 1997, Lucas rereleased the Star Wars trilogy as part of a Special Edition, featuring several alterations; home media versions with further changes were released in 2004 and 2011. He returned to directing with the Star Wars prequel trilogy, comprising The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, and Revenge of the Sith. He later collaborated on served as executive producer for the war film Red Tails and wrote the CGI film Strange Magic. Lucas is one of the American film industry's most financially successful filmmakers and has been nominated for four Academy Awards. His films are among the 100 highest-grossing movies at the North American box office, adjusted for ticket-price inflation. Lucas is considered a significant figure in the New Hollywood era. He was born in Modesto, California - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Lucas

14 May 1969 - Cate Blanchett, Australian actress and theatre director. She has received many accolades, including two Academy Awards, three Golden Globe Awards, and three BAFTA Awards. Time named her one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2007, and in 2018, she was ranked among the highest-paid actresses in the world. After graduating from the National Institute of Dramatic Art, Blanchett began her acting career on the Australian stage, taking on roles in Electra in 1992 and Hamlet in 1994. She came to international attention for portraying Elizabeth I of England in the drama film Elizabeth, for which she won the BAFTA Award for Best Actress and earned her first nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress. Her portrayal of Katharine Hepburn in the biographical drama The Aviator, earned her the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress, and she won Best Actress for playing a neurotic divorcée in the black comedy-drama Blue Jasmine. Her other Oscar-nominated roles were in the dramas Notes on a Scandal, Elizabeth: The Golden Age, I'm Not There, and Carol. Blanchett's most commercially successful films include The Talented Mr. Ripley, Peter Jackson's The Lord of the Rings trilogy and The Hobbit trilogy, Babel, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Cinderella,Thor: Ragnarok, and Ocean's 8. From 2008 to 2013, Blanchett and her husband Andrew Upton served as the artistic directors of the Sydney Theatre Company. Some of her stage roles during this period were in revivals of A Streetcar Named Desire, Uncle Vanya, and The Maids. She made her Broadway debut in 2017 with The Present, for which she received a Tony Award nomination. Blanchett has been awarded the Centenary Medal by the Australian government, who made her a companion of the Order of Australia in 2017. She was appointed Chevalier of the Order of Arts and Letters by the French government in 2012. She has been presented with a Doctor of Letters from the University of New South Wales, University of Sydney, and Macquarie University. In 2015, she was honoured by the Museum of Modern Art and received the British Film Institute Fellowship. She was born in Ivanhoe, Victoria - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cate_Blanchett

14 May 1984 – Mark Zuckerberg, American technology entrepreneur and philanthropist. He is known for co-founding and leading Facebook as its chairman and chief executive officer. Zuckerberg attended Harvard University, where he launched Facebook from his dormitory room on February 4, 2004, with college roommates Eduardo Saverin, Andrew McCollum, Dustin Moskovitz, and Chris Hughes. Originally launched to select college campuses, the site expanded rapidly and eventually beyond colleges, reaching one billion users by 2012. Zuckerberg took the company public in May 2012 with majority shares. His net worth is estimated to be $55.0 billion as of November 30, 2018, declining over the last year with Facebook stock. In 2007 at age 23 he became the world's youngest self-made billionaire. As of 2018, he is the only person under 50 in the Forbes ten richest people list, and the only one under 40 in the Top 20 Billionaires list. Since 2010, Time magazine has named Zuckerberg among the 100 wealthiest and most influential people in the world as a part of its Person of the Year award. In December 2016, Zuckerberg was ranked 10th on Forbes list of The World's Most Powerful People. He was born in White Plains, New York - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Zuckerberg

Events of Interest

14 May 1986 - Netherlands Institute for War Documentation publishes Anne Frank's complete diary - https://www.onthisday.com/people/anne-frank

15 May 1928 – Walt Disney character Mickey Mouse premieres in his first cartoon, "Plane Crazy". It was made as a silent film and given a test screening to a theater audience but failed to pick up a distributor. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plane_Crazy

15 May 2010 – Jessica Watson becomes the youngest person to sail, non-stop and unassisted around the world solo. Watson headed north-east crossing the equator in the Pacific Ocean before crossing the Atlantic and Indian Oceans. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jessica_Watson

16 May 1888 – Nikola Tesla delivers a lecture describing the equipment which will allow efficient generation and use of alternating currents to transmit electric power over long distances. His lecture caught the attention of George Westinghouse, the inventor who had launched the first AC power system near Boston and was Edison’s major competitor in the “Battle of the Currents.”

- https://teslaresearch.jimdo.com/lectures-of-nikola-tesla/a-new-system-of-alternate-current-motors-and-transformers-1888/

- https://www.history.com/topics/inventions/nikola-tesla

Intro

Artist – Goblins from Mars

Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)

Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ

Follow us on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/NerdsAmalgamated/

Email - Nerds.Amalgamated@gmail.com

Twitter - https://twitter.com/NAmalgamated

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RSS - http://www.thatsnotcanonproductions.com/topshelfnerdspodcast?format=rss

[robertkstone]

Celebrity Drive: NASCAR’s Kurt Busch

Quick Stats: Kurt Busch Daytona 500/NASCAR Champion Daily Driver: 2017 Ford Expedition (Kurt’s rating: 8.5 on a scale of 1 to 10) Other cars: see below Favorite road trip: Tail of the Dragon, North Carolina Car he learned to drive in: 1964 Volkswagen Beetle First car bought: 1995 Chevrolet Silverado

Although happenstance would have it that NASCAR champ Kurt Busch would one day get to own and drive any Ford he pleases in addition to the No. 41 Ford Fusion race car for the Stewart-Haas team, he owns some unique Fords; it’s a collection that’s inspired in part by his dad’s love of 1932 Fords.

Busch has six 1932 Fords, which make up almost half of his collection. “[My dad and I] share a few different ’32 Fords. He doesn’t want to actually take ownership because then mom would get upset for having too many. So he blames it on me,” Busch says, laughing.

He rates them between a 7 and 9 on a 10-point scale and explains that each Ford offers something different. “One’s a roadster, one is traditional, non-chop top, one is an extreme chop top, one’s a side window,” he says. “They all have their own distinct level of rebuild as well as traditional items left onto the car. My dad’s just very indecisive when it comes to his ’32 Fords. So I figured he’d top out at seven one day because there’s only seven days a week.”

Busch grew up helping his dad work on these cars and recalls his dad selling his first Ford around the time he was going to college. “To me, I didn’t know all the finances of how things were set up in our family, but I always thought, ‘That car sold, I went to college,’ and I’m like, ‘Man, that probably was my tuition,’” he says. “So I always had this mental plan to re-gift him someway, somehow, and it worked out with getting in racing and having a lot of Ford connections. I hope to one day go to Bonneville Salt Flats with him and do one of the divisions in an old ’32 Ford.”

His dad, who was also once a racer, goes to car shows around the country. The two were together for Father’s Day in Pomona, California, where they bought another ’32 Ford.  “He talked me into that one,” he says with a laugh. “I should’ve been the father figure and told my dad, ‘We have to sell one before we can buy one.’”

Although Busch bought his wife a Mercedes-AMG GLE63 with a twin turbo, his own daily driver is a 2017 Ford Expedition. He gives it an 8.5 rating and likes its reliability.

“They did good with the styling for as big of an SUV that it is, and the ride quality to me is always important,” Busch says. “It’s easy to navigate the buttons, and the driver ergonomics of the car feel nice when you’re sitting in the driver’s seat.”

He’s had quite a few Fords. “My first professional contract when I signed on with NASCAR was with Ford and had a 2001 Ford Mustang, and I still have it today,” he says. “I chose to buy that one after that contract was up, but I’ve been through different Expeditions, different Explorers, F-150s.”

2001 Ford Mustang

Rating: 6

“I put in a Roush stage 3 kit on it, so I took it from a GT Mustang to a Roush stage 3,” he says. “At the time it had 400 hp and felt like a 10 on a scale of 1 to 10. Driving it the other day, it’s funny how we all get spoiled with GPS in the car or satellite radio. The headlights didn’t turn off. When I got out of the car, it was dinging at me. I was like, ‘Oh, these are the little creature comforts that we’ve become so accustomed to.’ And that car isn’t all that old, so it’s fun to jump back in it, and even other cars that I have in my collection. … A 2001 Mustang on a scale of 1 to 10 today is more like a 6.”

2005 Ford GT

Rating: 10

“One of my favorites that was a gift from Edsel Ford II was a 2005 Ford GT, and I treat it like a trophy; it only has 97 miles on it,” Busch says. “To me the symbolic value of why he gifted me the car was when I won the championship in NASCAR and was driving a Ford, so for that to be a gift, I treat it like a trophy and never put miles on it. It felt special, something from Edsel.”

Busch gives it a perfect 10. “When I drove it a few times, it’s a pure sense of American heritage in motorsports,” he says.

Most of Busch’s cars get driven more than that, he says: “They’re all in good condition where you can just fire them up and go. I have a few different ’70s muscle cars: a ’70 Challenger, a ’69 Camaro.”

Busch drives his cars in good weather as well as when he’s back in North Carolina and not on a racetrack in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series. He has his own little personal race shop and garage that’s a few miles down the road.

“I try to drive them as often as I can, and I have a couple mechanics who are always working; whether rebuilding an old race car or working on another contract car for a client, we’re always working on cars at my shop,” he says. “We do some contract work for clients, and we have our lineup of different cars within my shop.”

The shop is pretty much by word of mouth. “It’s not like a full machine where we’re streamlining stuff in and out,” he says. “It’s just a hobby. I’ll go to some of the Barrett-Jackson auto auctions to sell or to buy and to look around, and I try to keep up with different trends.”

Car he learned to drive in

Busch learned to drive in a 1964 Volkswagen Beetle his dad helped him buy for $500.

“We bought it when I was about 15, and it was in pretty rough shape,” he says. “Then we spent that summer rebuilding it and getting it ready, and he taught me how to drive. We put some paint on it and literally took it to my driving test when I turned 16. I was a junior in high school that year with a ’64 Volkswagen bug. Still have it today.”

He learned to drive in Las Vegas, where he grew up, on relatively easy suburban streets. “The first thing I did, I got my driver’s license and my buddy filed in and we went cruising up and down the Strip,” he recalls.

When his dad taught him to drive in the Volkswagen, he was just starting out racing and knew about the clutch and shifting. “When he was teaching me, I remember my first time stalling it when he told me to turn right quickly,” he says. “I thought we were coming up to this intersection, and he said, ‘No, no, no, I want you to turn into the bank right here,’ and I was almost past the turn in and I was trying to slow down and then I forgot to push the clutch in and stalled it trying to turn into the bank parking lot.”

Busch has held onto that first car for the shared experience spent in it. “It was easy to keep because it was a cheap car, and we put a lot of work on it as father and son,” he says. “When I was little, I wasn’t making a big impact when I was helping him work on some of his ’32 Fords, but with that ‘64 Bug, that was a good education in how to build a car and how to work on everything, and it was great father and son time.”

First car bought

“When I was about 20, we were racing so often, we needed another truck to get to the race tracks,” Busch says.

Around 1998 or 1999 Busch bought his first vehicle, a 1995 Chevrolet Silverado with an extended cab off a friend for $10,000.

“We went to the bank and had to get an approval,” he says. “I paid $5,000 down of cash and then got a loan for $5,000, and that was my first loan that I took out. Had to manage the car payment, insurance, and just coming back from college, so there was a lot going on. And then the adulthood importance that went along with that truck.”

Busch kept it for a while and then sold it to another friend who needed a truck, for $5,000.

Favorite road trip

“When I was a kid we traveled up the Pacific Coast Highway a few times to San Francisco all the way from Las Vegas,” Busch recalls fondly. “When we were racing, I loved the road trip on I-70 through the Colorado Rockies. Just going through the mountains and you get the elevation changes, the scenic view on I-70.”

On the East Coast, closer to home, there’s a road in the Charlotte area Busch likes to drive purely for fun. “It’s to the west of Charlotte; it’s fairly close to Asheville, North Carolina: the Tail of the Dragon. A lot of motorcycle guys love that ride,” he says. “I’ve got a Dodge Viper that I drove on it years ago. It’s always fun. If there’s a day here or there where it’s not far from the house and hit the drive, grab lunch on the other side and then come back.”

Even though Busch drives for a living, there’s something different about being on the open road.

“Everything’s relaxed and yet I feel the car underneath me and different turns. You feel the front tires, you can feel the rear tires if you’re accelerating too hard. It’s always fun to learn a car’s limit in a situation.”

Sometimes he’ll rent out a road course such as Virginia International Raceway or Road Atlanta to take some of his own cars “and really go stretch their legs,” he says.

For more information and news on the 2018 NASCAR race season that starts next month visit www.kurtbusch.com.

READ MORE CELEBRITY DRIVES HERE:

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MLB Network’s Kevin Millar

“Ballers” Star and Actor Steve Guttenberg

The post Celebrity Drive: NASCAR’s Kurt Busch appeared first on Motor Trend.

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[nellie-elizabeth]

The Walking Dead: The Big Scary U (8x05)

I like that this episode breaks up some of the monotony of the continuous battle we've been seeing the past four weeks. There were some really high highs in this installment, but there was also a fair bit of mediocrity.

Cons:

We spent too much time with the Savior characters. I don't care about Dwight. I've written off Eugene. I don't even know the rest of these punks. All of these scenes were supposed to show us why Negan is necessary - the delicate balance of his organization falls completely apart without him. But I guess I just don't care enough about learning details of the other side. They're the bad guys. I'm getting bored of them and I just want them to die now, please and thank you.

Gabriel has always bored the hell out of me. Finally, we get an episode where he has some real material to work with in the script, and he's starting to emerge as a dynamic character. And then? The episode's cliffhanger is that he's all shaky and sick, ostensibly having been bitten by a Walker when escaping with Negan. How many times is this show going to pull the same trick? Take a character who isn't one of the main leads, and give them a spotlight just to make us like them enough so that their death has impact. We've seen it dozens of times. I was just complaining about this with Eric a few weeks ago!

Daryl and Rick get a few brief moments, wherein they manage to get into a stupid fight and then accidentally explode the truck with the supplies they fought so hard to get. In that moment, they made the sacrifice of the Kingdom's people a total waste. That could have been an interesting avenue to explore, but oddly the moment was almost played for laughs. That rubbed me the wrong way.

Pros:

Although... I'll admit I love Daryl and Rick so much that I still enjoyed their brief moments onscreen. Their tension, unspoken in the last few episodes, has risen to the level that they're attacking each other physically. I get this sense that they were both letting off some steam, that Rick gets tired of having to be in charge. The fight was not tragic, and there's the great moment where Daryl has Rick in a choke-hold, and then they both notice that the truck is about to explode and Daryl gets up, grabs Rick by the arm, and tugs him back. These two assholes are family.

There are a lot of people on the internet who salivate over Negan, and I just do not get that. Sure, Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a good looking guy, but... come on. He's a monster. The thing is, after this episode I am no more inclined to sympathize or connect with this guy than I was before. I'm not buying the idea that we can discuss the two different sides of this. Negan straight up admits that he enjoys killing people. But, Negan was more interesting to me in this episode than he's been in a long time, probably since his scenes with Carl. We saw a softness to him, a lack of his usual bluster. He still makes a couple of crass jokes and whatnot, but it's tempered to the point where you can see a person behind the dark cartoon. The interesting thing is that it's hard to tell what Negan is really thinking during these scenes with Gabriel. We can assume he's telling the truth about his first wife, but did he tell this story as a real attempt to confess, or as a way to get Gabriel to trust him enough to help save his life? I like not knowing.

Ultimately, an episode without any shootouts was a good idea at this point in the season. I was feeling a little fatigued after four weeks of excessive violence. Although not everything here was a total success, I found myself enjoying quite a bit of the episode nonetheless.

7/10

[junker-town]

2007: The inside story of the greatest season in college football history

Les Miles and 2007 were made for each other all along

Hello. This is a project all about the 2007 college football season, the wildest season ever. We've included dozens of interviews, stories, and other fun stuff in this package (take a look around!), but first, let's talk about Les Miles.

Maybe the problem with every other team in 2007 was this: they insisted that things make sense, while Les Miles and LSU never did. In a season of gambles and black swans, Miles was wearing a ghillie suit at the roulette table. It’s not that he had planned it that way, mind you. It’s just what he always wore, and one day, the perfect moment would come along for the outfit.

Consider that LSU might have had another unfair advantage from the start: being three teams at once.

One was the LSU that destroyed Mississippi State and Virginia Tech to start the season, a physically superior crew of crowbar-wielding sprinters and trench monsters so frightening, they scared poor Michael Henig of Mississippi State into throwing six interceptions in a single game.*

*Full disclosure: by the time he threw his fifth, everyone watching wanted him to throw six, because ... well, his public failure had come full circle to a kind of valiant achievement, hadn’t it?

Another LSU was a defense-averse scoring machine bent on playing deep into triple overtime. That team lost twice — twice! in a national title year! — to Arkansas and Kentucky and roared to victory in a shootout with Alabama.

The final LSU was the one everyone remembers best, the LSU that passed with one second left against Auburn or pulled off fourth down conversion after fourth down conversion against Florida in a comeback win or called a bizarre fake field goal for a TD against South Carolina or needed a pick six to win the SEC Championship Game.

It’s hard to beat three teams, but it’s also hard to be three teams. Fortunately, Miles mostly won with all three, though it was clear which one he preferred, even if that version was the one that forced LSU fans to drink even more after victories, simply to take the edge off what they’d just seen.

***

Take a chunk out of the cult of coach by pointing out how many of LSU’s biggest plays of 2007 happened because of perfectly timed individual contributions, usually in well-portioned turns. Craig Steltz popped up with pass breakups and interceptions exactly when required. Trindon Holliday, all five-foot-nothing of him, would snap a game open with a kick return. Cornerback Jonathan Zenon turned into Erik Ainge’s best receiver at the worst possible time for Tennessee, returning an INT for a conference-winning score.

LSU was a team of five-star talent and two-star heart, and the peak example was running back Jacob Hester. With a corps of fearsome locals, LSU’s leading rusher would be a fullback with male pattern baldness at the age of 22. Hester wasn’t supposed to end up where he did, but when you keep ending up across the first down line, it’s hard to take you out of the lineup.

It was hard to say exactly who would fall from the rafters at exactly the right moment and save LSU’s ass.

It was easy to say who was fine with that and would openly dare probability not to cough up a positive return on a gamble, even when the gamble was mathematically insane. Whether it was because he was a bullshit artist too scared to ever admit it or so ebulliently confident he infected his whole team, he thrived in it.

And for one year, Miles turned up exactly where he was supposed to, every time, with exactly the right answer.

He was perfectly on time when he called the fake field goal.

He did not just call a fake field goal. He called a flip toss by the starting QB over his shoulder to LSU’s kicker. The burn on trick play enthusiast Steve Spurrier, standing on the opposite sideline, was so precise, Miles made the noise "heheheheh" when watching a replay at Tiger Stadium.

heh

He could have made the same noise all five times he decided LSU was going for it on fourth down against Florida, a backbreaking series of gambles that completed LSU’s 28-24 comeback at home. Miles might have chuckled his way through that whole second half, for all we know. It was very loud in there, and I couldn’t hear my own heartbeat, much less a coach laughing several hundred yards away.

He was on time when LSU was tied with Auburn, with the clock burning down and everyone in the stadium assuming LSU would try to win 26-24 with a Colt David field goal.

When Demetrius Byrd brings down the TD, listen to the crowd’s screams and hear everything all at once: that LSU passed up the obvious answer, nearly blew the last second it could’ve used to kick if the pass had fallen incomplete, and scored despite risking an interception.

You can read some inspired defenses of this play, if you want to go deep enough into the archives. Don’t. It makes no sense, never will, was late, and ... was right. This is a horseshit play, and it worked. Later in his career, Miles and LSU would get in serious trouble with clock management, and this would all seem less than cute, but in 2007, LSU was unstoppably lucky.

They pressed that luck, even when they became phenomenally unlucky. The Tigers spit the bit at Kentucky and at home to Arkansas. The Kentucky game seemed like enough of an anomaly, the kind voters could forgive. True to bizarro form, LSU outgained Kentucky in yardage, had fewer turnovers, and still lost in triple OT.

Arkansas was worse. A sleepy, 7-6 game at halftime caught fire in the second half, and the three-headed backfield with three future NFL starters — Peyton Hillis, Felix Jones, and Heisman finalist Darren McFadden — ate up yardage until another triple OT loss* surely destroyed LSU’s hopes for a title run.

* There is another achievement LSU can claim, in addition to being the first two-loss AP champ since 1960: the only title team to ever lose two games in overtime, let alone triple overtime. Not that anyone would ever want to claim that, knowing what it’s like to chug rubbing alcohol at 11:45 p.m. while watching your team do this again.

***

Miles showed up when he was supposed to show up, even when he wasn’t supposed to.

2007 was my first year covering college football for money, and the 2007 SEC Championship was just my second game as credentialed media. I still did not know how anything worked, so during pregame, when LSU informed the collected media that "Coach Miles wishes to make a statement," I assumed this was normal.

The SEC

Have a great day

I was informed it was not.

Set this all in context. LSU had just lost a shot at the BCS Championship and would be starting its backup QB in a conference title game against a dangerous, 9-3 Tennessee. The SEC title seemed like a consolation prize, and reports of Miles, a Michigan alum who played and coached under Bo Schembechler, talking to the Wolverines about their coaching vacancy were everywhere.

Whether it was ESPN’s Kirk Herbstreit reporting on TV that morning that Miles was as good as gone, or whether a fourth cup of coffee hit Miles sideways in the Georgia Dome locker rooms, or whether years of the accumulated WCW in the air possessed him, Miles felt the need to cut a wrestling promo live on the carpet in Atlanta.

When Miles was done with his speech to a room of baffled and bemused reporters, he appeared again exactly where and when he was supposed to appear. He had told ESPN to kiss his ass and made ESPN show it live on ESPN. He proclaimed in what was suddenly the thickest of Ohio accents that he had a "damn strong football team." He did it for himself, he said, and I believe it; his team, sequestered in the locker room, didn’t see the speech live and couldn’t have used it as some kind of motivational tool.

Miles punctuated his speech with the most truculent "have a great day" ever. Later, after the national championship and grown men from the Bayou running naked down Bourbon Street, the Tigers would put the phrase on the back of their equipment truck, so the whole world could kiss their gear’s ass as it rolled down the highway.

Starting the backup QB in a mop-up game, LSU let Ainge throw the winning TD to LSU’s Zenon. Everyone kept showing up in the right place at the right time, even people who were on other teams.

So when West Virginia lost to "the shittiest fucking team in the fucking world," Oklahoma couldn’t muster the votes to overcome losses to Texas Tech and Colorado, Georgia couldn’t make the case because it didn’t even get to the SEC Championship, an undefeated Kansas lost to rival Mizzou at the worst imaginable time, and Mizzou lost again to Oklahoma in the Big 12 Championship, it only made sense that LSU would suddenly face its third chance at a national title.

Getting to do it in New Orleans might have been a little heavy-handed, but the script was the script.

***

There are people who cannot thrive in normal circumstances, who struggle to make basic schedules work and whose only optimal working environment would madden a normal person to the point of tears.

Those people, 90 percent of the time, barely manage to fit into a lane. The really gifted and adaptive ones might become functional, with enough coaching. Others find themselves in much worse situations, often flagrantly so.

Miles is one of those people. After 2007, it became clear that quiet order would do Miles no favors. He’d recruit brilliantly but squander talent, particularly on offense. His carefree approach to clock management would become a running gag, his fake field goals would eventually only work on Florida, and LSU would wane as Nick Saban categorized, analyzed, and systematized the SEC into little more than Bama’s strip mine.

2007 was Miles at his best, but the flip side was 2011, when a phenomenally talented LSU showed up to the BCS Championship without anything resembling an offensive game plan. What Miles could profit from in chaos, he could waste in order. The decline began in earnest; by the time Miles was fired in 2016, quirks that were endearing had become intractable frustrations, even when his teams were still competitive.

If chaos-compatible people are lucky, sometimes they fall into exactly the right, irregularly shaped spot at exactly the right time and work where few others would. Miles fell into the right spot not once, but twice.

Getty

In 2005, after beating Auburn in OT

The first came after Hurricane Katrina hit in 2005, his first season as LSU’s head coach, when the chaos-compatible new guy helped steer an entire school through a natural disaster. Fats Domino was sleeping on QB JaMarcus Russell’s couch, Baton Rouge turned into a refugee camp overnight, and helicopters were flying over Tiger Stadium at all hours, but LSU managed not only to play a full season, but to thrive. In the year of Katrina, the Tigers somehow won 11 games. Almost everyone involved with that season agrees Miles was the person the program needed, when everything else fell apart.

There is a tendency to lionize coaches, overstate their importance, and diminish players in the name of using a single authority figure as a catch-all for a group of ever-changing faces.

That said, there was no one more suited to step into college football’s slipperiest, least predictable season. And once he and LSU stepped into it, they took everything, even well after reason said they were finished. In 2007, when throwing deep into the end zone with no time left made more sense than a field goal, Miles was the safest bet.

***

And at no point did that Ohio State team, or any Ohio State team coached by Jim Tressel, stand a chance in any universe’s 2007 title game, against any team.

2007 had already bit the Buckeyes once — losing to a Ron Zook-coached Illinois counts — but in a year of festive arson and freewheeling nonsense, Ohio State was doomed from the start. The Buckeyes didn’t understand the language on a spiritual level (and on a physical level, could not compete with LSU’s defense). Ohio State ran on a clock, and 2007 was too surreal for anything but melting pocket watches.

LSU won, but all I really remember was the aftermath, a French Quarter bursting at the seams with astronomically intoxicated LSU fans. Almost all of them were clothed.

Miles showed up at one point, too. I don’t remember exactly what time he appeared, but whatever time it was, I have to assume it was the right one.