#like when i wasn't sure abt the end state of the game. i was like. if sonja has to pick a guy .. that guy is so girl.

[myonmallow]

thots on rf:o

[gwaaaaar]

breaking my silence...

whoever told me the second half of death note was trash... YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONG YOURE WRONGGGGGG 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 MELLO AND NEAR ARE WORTHY SUCCESSORS TO L YOURE JUST A STAN!!!!

near... sweet jesus baby they didnt deserve you !!! I was so pleasantly surprised to see how distinct he was despite people calling him "white haired L". LIKE hes a lot more cautious than L but isn't above being a sarcastic little shit and actively causing problems... i read a fan translation and he uses a lot of cuss words to refer to certain people he dislikes. I dont know if thats in the official translation as well but i do like the visual of this 7 yo saying "asshole" and "dickhead". I know hes 17-18 and this is average teenage behavior but gah hes so cute and moe and make little "vrooooom" noises when playing with his toys... 🥺 cant help but stan. Hes in his zone unbothered...

AND THE FACT HE CHALLENGES LIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE SO BLATANTLY... no mind games no time for light to make his next move just fuck it we ball. Also very fond of the scene where he drops hundred dollar bills off the SPK building. He's unpredictable just like Mello is but in a different way and its fascinating i love this guy. Also enjoy the fact that his flavor of justice is that he doesnt really have one hes just doing his job. The verbal beatdown he does at the end about how lights just a crazy serial killer... GET HIS ASS NEAR !!! Hes not pretentious and its just... its just good you know? L wasn't very pretentious but he does call himself justice sometimes and stuff along the like(?) Near drops all pretense... cant help but stan

Also really fond that he actually likes mello its just mello doesnt like him... I know canon never explicitly states their relationship with each other, like if its a brotherly relationship or not (altho isnt there some cain and abel parallels??? Not sure). But i really do see a siblinglike relationship between the two. Canon doesnt really put any angst on their relationship bc near doesnt care lolol, but the two do remind me of certain siblings that have a strained relationship because of the pressure put on one of them (or on both. Again fuck wammys house all my homies hate wammys AND WATARI!!! ME WHEN I GET YOU!!!) I really would love to see the two interact... and maybe just be happy by each other/pl. Because god it really terrible to see how much mello hates near and its not even nears fault :,). AND FUCK THE CHOCOLATE BAR HE EATS AT THE END TO HONOR MELLO???? STOPPPP IM GONNA CRY... near the man that you are... they dont deserve you baby...

And smello... mello mello mello... I've heard more positive things about him compared to near bc hes more "interesting" and i can see why people take that angle BUT. God they still undersell him so much??? I feel like hes one of the few characters to have a goal besides catching Kira (or not getting caught) because of his inferiority complex. I do not mean to undersell any of the other characters when i say this because theyre all very complex! They all have their driving goals and the like. Its just that i argue that Mello's is more persistent and that it is not centered around the conflict but rather himself. Even if he caught Kira perhaps he would still never be happy with himself because Near is always "going to be better" because of the shit he went through in wammys. Theres a whole discussion to be had abt the ethics of wammys house... but ill save that for another post wwww.

Mello is also someone that isnt pretentious about his idea of justice bc hes a fucking criminal. (BTW i love the two opposing sides of the successors... one that tries falling within the law but still doesnt give a shit and the other that doesnt give any shits at all and eventually helps the law.) And its so... I LOVE YOU RUTHLESS CHARACTERS I LOVE YOU CHARACTERS THAT STOP AT NOTHING TO GET WHAT THEY WANT.

And the thing is ... Mello does have his own sense of justice because its not as if he sacrifices innocent bystanders to get what he wants he just does what is necessary. LIKE ofc its fucked up that he kidnapped sayu (and traumatized her...), takada (and the stripping... but at least she got a blanket:,) honestly tho id blame that on the misogyny of the authors) and the director of the police im not about to be a mello apologist (yes i am/j). But a. He probably knew no one was going to get hurt in the first place because hes just that damn confident. b. His remorse for matt and soichiros deaths show that he doesnt intend on sacrificing anyone and when things go astray it saddens him a little. And c. THE FACT HE PROBABLY KNEW HE WAS GONNA DIE AND STILL SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO HELP NEAR... near would "win" but mello prioritized putting kira behind bars and while i cant guess his motive, from my end it does seem like in extension he prioritized doing the right thing, which would be to sacrifice his life and pride to help near get the final piece to catch mikami... wow what a man im so deathly ill

After typing all this, i must say... is L really as complex as years of DN fans have said?? I think im about to get crucified for this opinion, but legitimately is he??? I think he is complex most certainly just... maybe not as much as others have said... i might just be missing details about his past + lore from external media so maybe thats why i have this opinion. But i feel like the successors *are* toe to toe with him despite their split screen time... idk tho :3 this is just my thoughts meow

[neptunescore]

hi about the ship template i wanna know your opinion on jenson and lewis? also your opinion on nico hulkenberg and kevin magnussen 😁

Ohhh anon. Uve given me 2 of my fave underrated pairs<3

I'll do slagclaren first, and then I'll move on to the haasbunds💗.

They were such an era😩. And their lore is acc hilarious. I see them more as platonic, but honestly I wouldn't mind reading fics abt them🤭.

Anyway, I just love how during their time together as teammates lewis tried SO hard to throw jenson off and play mind games with him, yet the whole time jenson was going around the garage smiling and laughing with everyone, and then coming back to lewis and giving him bro hugs😭😭. Like he truly did not care💀. Lewis was out there tweeting out his heart abt jenson not following him (when jense wasn't even on twitter) and trying to leak jenson's race telemetry (it turned out to be their development driver's). And in the end jenson ended up outscoring him in points for the wdc standings😆.

Don't even get me started on all the vids they did for mclaren (their dynamic was SO CUTE. UGH. I don't CARE if it was all juat PR😠) , and how when jenson wrote his book he described lewis as 'weird' (HAD ME WHEEZINGG😭) and stated that it was obvious lewis was 'peeved' by his presence, and how jense was sad abt that and wished they had a better relationship😔 (like okay u romantic, we get that u wanted him😀)

OH. and also the way his advice for cecho (when he was leaving mclaren) was to 'make sure u have twitter'😭✋🏽

I have seen so MANY better pics of them but pinterest is REFUSIN to provide today😒

NOW

On to my haasbunds🫶🏼🫂

Not much more to say abt them, bc not much more CAN be said abt them. They've literally reached the end of their enemies to lovers feel good romance, and now (in fic terms) we're getting one shots of their domestic lives as husbands together🤭 From 'worst driver on the grid' and 'suck my balls mate' to kevin defending nico with his life on track, nico defending kevin with his life off track and both of them picking each other any time they're asked a 'who would u pick' grid related question (even when specified u cant puck ur teammate)💗🫠.

I don't really read fics abt them tho, the reason that box is highlighted is bc of these 2 absolutely amazing fics, with them as the main pairing, that I gave a chance too and was left mindblown😚😌.

Every time I see them together is like I'm watching a domestic moment between an old couple.

Nav

[aquickstart]

pls may i have some saltburn takes. i saw u liked my post abt oliver never having read the reading list and it made me giggle.

OH YES DUDE oh i Loved that post because it brings up actually something that for some reason i haven't seen discussed much. oliver's unreliable narration.

i have a brilliant, i think, genius four-question plan for making people understand saltburn, and it has worked before and i will maybe elaborate on it, but not right now. right now i'll talk about one of the questions.

who is oliver telling this story to, and why?

we've established that he's an unreliable narrator at least because it's the logical conclusion for a movie shot in a way that opens and closes with his narrative. but what does oliver being untruthful actually mean for what we know about anything and everything that happened. have you ever obsessed over this particular question. well. i have.

my hot take, first of all, is that oliver is not that smart. he's clever, but the point of the movie is that he's caught up in and driven by desire; desire, pointedly, in the moment, merging desire, adapting to circumstance and leading him on. his want is not concrete from the beginning. his want is insatiable hunger that grows.

so, okay, from the top. the whole meet-cute with felix? because of a punctured tire? eh. idk if that's true. the money thing at the bar, pretending to not have any while he actually did? eh, perhaps. chronologically he then lies to felix about his dad, and this is big, this is deliberate, this is what ties felix to him for good.

what if the first two instances were coincidences? like, felix genuinely in trouble then, oliver genuinely out of cash. makes sense to become attached and actually do something, something impulsive, drastic, when felix seems to be drifting away, and lie about his dad.

interjection: you might be saying, nadia, he lied about his family from the get-go. well of course. i didn't say he's not smart enough to clock what image of a damsel in distress felix would gobble up. i'm saying he didn't do it for the long game, because there was no long game to speak of, as narrator-oliver would have you believe. i think he wanted felix so badly in that moment of several months in oxford, i think he was so blinded that he would've said anything. and he did.

now, i've briefly talked about oliver's feelings about the invitation to saltburn, and i think this is very important here. in the moment, he couldn't possibly know what exactly this invitation could mean, in the long run, only that it is definitely the next step in progression of desire for felix. present-day oliver interjection, and i believed him, after felix said he could leave anytime, i read as a slip up, an admission that oliver didn't plan shit, or at least from the beginning he didn't. it lured him in as soon as he got there, gothic house driving mad-style. he held on to a dream of something elusive (felix as a friend? lover? forever-partner in whatever capacity? i want him so bad i don't care what he is as long as he's there? please? please?).

the other obvious hole to poke at is in the end. venetia very conveniently takes the razors he places for her, and while sure, it could be read as him just hinting at how he conveniently read her fragile state and took advantage of it, i don't buy it. (i'm honestly even tempted to suggest he met elspeth on accident, to then spin a pretty story for his own sake, but him keeping tabs on the surviving cattons all those years tracks with what we know about obsessive oliver; he's definitely known about her flat for a while.)

but those are all minor stuff. i get completely if you think i'm reading too much into it and this is all just a headcanon after all, to be fair. BUT. but.

my second big take is that oliver was/is madly in love with felix. i know, shocking. but you have probably seen people say he wasn't. i will elaborate.

i wasn't in love with him. i loved him. i hated him. what does this sound like. have you ever had a friend come to you after a breakup fuming and telling you how they'll never end up with this asshole for sure and then get back together with him and then break up and say the same thing again.

i loved him, but i wasn't in love with him. i know everyone thought i was, but i wasn't. have you never told anyone something of the sort, specifically the last part, to emphasize just how it's everyone around you that's kinda hung up on whatever it is, and you've moved way past it, actually. have you never told yourself that.

i have. i know many other people who have, too. so, who is oliver telling this story to, and why? there's no one but dead elspeth in front of him. there's no one but himself. fun fact: each time you recall an event, it distorts under the influence of the mix of past and present emotions. each time you recall, you mold memory (source, e.g., x). the way i personally see it, oliver, for whatever reason, retells the story in order to solidify his own memory of it in the way that he wants to remember it. whatever he says, this is his final word, and this is his final truth.

this is also why details slip through, like my beloved i believed him, like the emotional i hated him growing into self-convincing, misleadingly dismissive, definitely unsure i hated him by the end. those are the true emotions that he recalls, those are the times that are hard to rewrite, for whatever reason.

of course, he hated them all. but before that, he loved felix to the point of blindly following where felix's desire led oliver, at least the way oliver perceived felix's desire. it failed, crucially, when felix's desire brought them to the center of the labyrinth, where oliver could not be the desired anymore.

my third hot take in connection to this is that oliver did not know he would kill felix until the very night he did it. he didn't know it, i think, until the last hour, until felix refused to reconcile completely, until he made his blood run cold. i also briefly mention it here, specifically how farleigh is tragically connected to felix's death, in my opinion. this tracks with, again, my strong belief that oliver lies, lies and lies throughout this whole story about wanting to take everything from felix from the beginning; no, he fucking didn't. he wanted felix. he wanted felix to be his. that was number one priority. he wanted felix and whatever else came with it, undoubtedly, but not the other way around.

paradoxically, he also wanted to be felix; he wanted to be him and be with him just as us tumblr people can often relate and the tragedy is that you always have to choose. felix pushed him away, so there was no other choice but to take what was left of felix that oliver could take. hence the clothes wearing, the table scene talk, the refusal to leave.

felix chose not to choose oliver, so oliver became felix. it's his fault. felix promised oliver could leave. felix left instead. what was oliver to do.

but to your point about the books, i think it could be either way, actually. i think he could have lied about it because technically that's also in character for him, he was performing for an audience of his tutor. but i also think that he was, genuinely, a nerd before he came to oxford, and he didn't, and still doesn't, have any friends, and he hates his sisters and his mother and is miserable. he's the perfect profile of someone who'd read king james' bible over the summer, and then some, imma be honest.

so, yes. i think oliver lies about most things in saltburn and i think he's pathetic, lost, confused, grieving, angry, horny, down bad and in denial. and i fucking love him. i so fuckin do.

[cemetery-irises]

so one of the most important aspects of ithaqua is his anger. anger at the atrocities committed against him and his mother, anger at the world for letting it happen, hell, even some anger with himself for sharing a face with his mother's captor and tormentor. his only outlet for this anger is through hunting down "trespassers" in the woods to protect his mother. ithaqua is filled with this... i can only describe it as a simmering hatred for humanity, who took his mother from him, and the gods who they claim commanded them to do so.

this anger also manifests itself in a sorta gleeful sadism, especially towards perceived threats / evil. this is mostly showcased in morningstar, which i've talked at length about being his power fantasy and what he wishes he could be, but it's also very much clear in other ways with him — his smile, while adorable, is also... worrying, considering what he does in-game. he laughs both after literally just slaughtering a traveller in his trailer and in-game when pursuing / striking survivors. while i believe that, initially, nathaniel's murder was more of a necessary evil, committed solely to keep his mother safe, i'm sure later on down the line — especially with his declining mental state — ithaqua began taking more joy in the pain he inflicts.

ithaqua's mental state is. very much all over the place. his age when everything happened isn't clear, but he looks pretty fucking young in his trailer, and most people i've spoken with agree that he was about 16 - 17 (he's described as a young adult at the time the game takes place; i personally hc him as abt 19 but i know most people hc him to be in his early to mid twenties). going through such a significant and traumatising event at such a young age is bound to fuck someone up; ithaqua was very much forced to grow up very quickly, especially now that he needs to look after / feed / care for his mother. i think he still holds onto some childishness and sees things in a very black-and-white way — "they're" evil and he and his mother are good — but that's mostly hc-based and because i think it's interesting to write. but he still has to remain mature; he's the sole provider, he's taking care of his mother now. he has to keep his wits about him because if he can't care for her, who can?

ithaqua had a very non-traditional upbringing. it was just him and his mother in the woods; he wasn't exactly taught how to be a people person. as a result, he likely struggles with social interaction and probably isn't too talkative. i'm of the opinion that he mostly just stares ominously and lurks at the edges of the room; i've seen a lot of people with the same idea, but i can't be too sure if it's like. common or not lmao. ithaqua wouldn't necessarily be aggressive — at least, not outside of matches — but he's certainly not friendly.

one more important thing is his name. ithaqua. in lovecraftian mythology, ithaqua is feared mostly throughout northern regions, mainly russia and canada. he's... basically a big scary monster that eats people. humans leave him sacrifices not out of worship, but out of appeasement, in hopes that he won't eat them. in his trailer, the place he lives is shown to be very cold and snowy — mythology ithaqua's hunting grounds — and there is a specific callout to the plateau of leng, a cold, arid region that, in the thing that walked on the wind (ithaqua's debut story), ithaqua is sighted in. it's my belief that ithaqua, growing up, was told stories about this wind-walker, this monster that had the people of the surrounding villages terrified. so when it came time to shed his humanity so that he'd be a feared hunter and not some scared boy lashing out... of course the new name he chooses is that of the being that has the humans who know of him fucking terrified. of course he would want to emulate that being. at the end of the day, ithaqua wants to be feared; he wants to scare humans away from his home, keep his mother safe, and kill any that dare to stray too close.

sorry if that came off kinda ramble-y at the end!! i definitely have a lot of thoughts on itha but idk if all of them came through properly </3 definitely down to answer any questions (and feel free to talk to @sunset-of-the-void about him too; he's the whole reason i like itha in the first place!!)

oh this is delicious actually i’ll get back to this in a bit once i’ve fully processed it but. good lord /pos

[loopylostandfound]

For the ask game, 001- BaroRyuu and 002- Barok van Zieks! :D

OH BOY BUCKLE UP

will contain dgs-dgs2 spoilers so anyone reading who hasn't finished the games, DONT LOOK LOL

baroryuu

- when I started shipping it

oh god oh jeez. it was after I'd finished the games actually, I wasn't into it at first. I think fanfic converted me and now I'm feral LOL

- my thoughts

HHEHRHRHEHRHRHRHHRHGGGHRJRNNGGNGNGGNG

no but for real uhhhh I love them. there's something soooo chefs kiss abt this dynamic. I love when big scary guy is absolutely brought to his knees by a cute little weirdo who believed in him. saved him even. hhhrhrhrhhr they are special to me and I'm squeezing them

- what makes me happy abt them

well all of the above hdwjksjfjd but uhhh I love the growth of their relationship a lot, especially on barok's end like he realizes his behavior was shitty and is genuinely sorry for it, I love that he's not too proud to admit this. and ryuu is always so patient with him and insists that he's good even though he's treated him badly ouhghhgh they believe in each other!! wheeee

- what makes me sad abt them

the fact that ryuu had to leave ouhsgsgdjjdjff you mean you LEFT him ALONE??? hhfhdjskdj no I know he had to go it's important and I wouldn't change it but oouuuhh the heartbreak. i feel these long distance feels all too well ough

- things done in fanfic that annoy me

when someone makes ryuu like. too wooby. like turns him into a helpless damsel or some shit lol it is not my thing, I like him to have agency jdjwjdjd and don't like when he's made out to be like. an idiot lol. also in a similar vein don't like when barok is made into too much of an asshole, he's actually a kind person to most he's just a bit gruff and has a lot of walls up lol

- things I look for in fanfic

im a well documented dom ryuu enjoyer hdjsjskfjfj so that for sure (altho I don't mind any dynamic between them, I just prefer this lol) but also I like relationship reveal fics, love confessions, and anything where barok's softer side gets to peek through a lot <3 hehehe

- who I'd be comfortable with them ending up with besides each other

kazuma. lol he's just the other part of my ot3 tho hdjwkskfjjf

herlock with either of them is a fun time but I have a hard time seeing him w either of them longterm, I think vanlock are exes lmao and ryuulock probably was a fling at some point but I don't think they'd end up together

yeah it's basically just kazuma hfjwkqksjdkdk like as a longterm thing lol

- my happily ever after for them

as stated above my ot3 is asobaroryuu (any configuration of the ship lol) so I like the idea of them all moving to japan and doing law stuff together lol they have a big house and adopt a kid or two! as self indulgent as possible here jdskkskfjfjf

- who is the big spoon/little spoon

i think most of the time ryuu is probably the little spoon bc it's easier given the height difference lol but sometimes it's barok bc sometimes even a bad bitch needs to be held okay !!! and ryuu likes holding his big scary bf it makes him feel good too hehe

- what is their favorite non-sexual activity

self indulgent answer: cuddles

possibly more realistic answer but still self-indulgent: goin on walks together and talking about everything and nothing. while holding hands. also facing off in court, I think they'd enjoy being able to do that without any animosity between them

thank u im insane!!!!!!! anyways

barok van zieks

OH BOY OKAY OKAY OKAY

- how I feel about this character

[10 minutes of screaming, breaking glass noises, clown honks, car crash sounds, ripping noises, growling, whimpering, crying, insane laughter]

very normal.

I love him a lot and I never expected to going into the games!! bc I had only seen negative things abt him and expected him to be this irredeemable asshole. but no!!! he's literally a huge softie inside actually???? and like. care about truth and justice which is more than one can say for many aa prosecutors lol like he's probably the most competent of the bunch, he's just a cunt to ryuunosuke at first but he apologizes later 😭 also I love the fact that he has bats in his office like it's both a great supplement to his goth vampire aesthetic but also seems to imply he likes animals and I love to imagine him feeding his lil fruit bats hdjskdjfjf. also he's so fucking pretty and i would climb him like a tree. im incredibly normal about his tits. and thighs. anyway let's move on

- all the people I ship romantically with this character

ryuunosuke n kazuma, at the same time preferably lol. herlock, albert, and genshin get honorable mentions as ppl i think he may have had a thing for/with in the past but i don't necessarily see as a Ship for me personally lol

- my non-romantic otp for this character

i want to see the vanlock exes to worsties agenda lmaooo they are never getting back together but they are going to make each other's lives worsebetter forever <3

- my unpopular opinion abt this character

hes a sub. like at least as a strong preference jdjwkdjfj and also even in a non-sexual way, I think it would be a great de-stressing thing for him to let someone he trusts take over for a bit and take care of him, kinda just let his worries melt away. big praise kink and worship kink on this guy I think :3

- one thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

i want uncle barok and iris interactions!!! he would be the best uncle he would spoil her rotten and she would let him lol

- my otp

asobaroryuu <3 I really think the three of them would balance out really well once they worked out their issues, baroryuu is my fav among the three pairings here n the only one that really stands on its own for me but I prefer them all together soooo much i don't like leaving kazuma out hes a little feral beast he spices up the proceedings lol

- my crossover ship

dont have one sowwy ;-;

- a headcanon fact

hes autistic. like holy shit. I saw this mans office w his constantly rearranged wine barrels and his specific custom made chalices n his whole like. aura. n was like aha. the tism. bdjskajxjdf but no fr theres more thn that that i cant think of now and i may be projecting here lol but that man is not neurotypical!!! :D

WAUGH tht was a lot lmaooooo

[faulix]

hi felix ! if i can ask, at what point does faux fall in love with u ? (idk anything abt his media so id also love to hear context if youd want to share!!) (@dmclr)

oh my god. clara buckle up i'm about to hit you with some faulix lore

so. faux doesn't realize he's fallen in love with me at first. he's just in this state of pining and yearning and just "why am i always thinking about you and being close to you" and he doesn't know what to do about it and he's certainly not going to act on it. it's after we have the big 3 of a trio that he has more of this abundance of feelings, but honestly part of it was love at first sight. he had heard rumors of me and thought i was a cool writer. i think he was surprised when he learned i'm really just. honestly kind of a nerd who just likes art and graffiti and skating. but maybe that's what led him to falling for me harder. he had more of a human behind his desires rather than the image of what he thought was amazing.

and something key to remember here, as to why he wouldn't realize his own feelings, is that he has his own demons he's hiding. he's been hiding his deepest desires of becoming all city to the point of entitlement, him using his cop father to cover his tracks, and he's not going to let anyone in that could discover that. well too bad! i also like him and i get to kiss him and throw all of that out of the window! he ends up walking this delicate line but god does it feel good just to have my affection to him. he'll push his own demons aside just for longer of it

(and this is all before like. the key points of the game. before the betrayal. and the decapitation. and the body swapping)

we go through a lot ok 😔 like there's a level in which i'm still not sure how HE gets his head back on his body but the second i saw him, i still wanted him (again despite the decapitation) (i can explain on this. brc is one Hell of a Game) i think there's a level in which he fell twice. because he realized i was going to show him a sense of love he was deprived of that the first time around wasn't going to fix. we're like two magnets you can't separate, we have glue stuck between us. it's never been perfect but i think we find ways to surpass so many of our own and shared struggles to fall in love with one another over and over again

[playroom-sekaii]

hello hello! sorry this isnt any of the ask game questions in particular, but could we get some headcanons abt little mai and caregiver haruka? mai seems to have a kind of volatile emotional state so i was thinkin mayb stress causes her to regress sometimes? it was prolly a bit of a shock when haruka first found out abt mai’s regression, too, back in their ASRUN days but she’s def been supportive since then (sorry for letting my own thoughts slip out haha)

That's a really cool idea! I probably can't add too much since I'm not that knowledgeable on the side characters, but I have to commend you for how big brain this is!

(I couldn't really fit this in the hcs anywhere, but for the sake of this Mai's little age range is about 5-6!)

-Haruka probably wasn't the most sure as to what age regression was when Mai first explained it to her. She was glad her fellow idol had a way to help deal with the stress of the industry, but what if this information leaked out to the public? She wanted to support Mai in any way she could, but the idea of this causing either of them to lose their grasps on their dreams...

-Haruka definitely still helped Mai when she was small, but in more subtle ways than full-on being a caregiver for her (not just out of her own fear, but from Mai not wanting her biggest inspiration to fully see her while she was regressed). She started to recognize the little signals that Mai was slipping (slight errors in her singing, fidgeting, an even more wide-eyed look than usual), and she would cover for her to make sure their fellow idols or bosses wouldn't notice. She knew Mai had a bit of little gear in her dressing room, so she would take her there and simply tell the others that Mai had a headache or something. It was an unspoken agreement between the two, one that Mai was overwhelmingly grateful for and gave Haruka a sense of routine and stability.

-Once Mai was forced to quit being an idol, and Haruka was made to believe that it was her fault, their bond came to a crashing halt. Mai was left without anyone to look after her while small, even though she'd been basically alone while regressing beforehand this felt so much worse. Haruka's feeling that she failed Mai was made worse by the fact that she wanted to look out for her, and it lead to her wanting to be a full-on caregiver for the other little one now in her life: Minori (sorry for putting another hc in here put I feel like it fits-). While her drive to be a good CG for her was primarily caused by her genuinely caring and wanting her to be happy, a bit of it was from a desire to redeem herself from her previous failure.

-However, this rift didn't last forever, and once the two managed to repair their bond and Mai started her new endeavor of theater, the topic of Mai's regression eventually came up again. Mai confessed that she was still little sometimes, and Haruka offered to be her caregiver for real this time. Mai felt like she wasn't worthy of this, but Haruka reassured her that she was, and now she can finally get the care she deserves <3 Since they don't see each other in person that much, most of Haruka's caregiving is done over phone or Nightcord calls, though when they occasionally meet up in real life it's not that uncommon for Mai to end up regressing.

-Since Mai is naturally somewhat childish, it's not immediately obvious what's different between her big and small selves, though there are some distinctions. She's even more gung-ho and passionate about the things she loves, to the point that Haruka has to remind her often to take breaks from what she's doing. She's even more of a starry-eyed Haruka fan, akin to how Minori was early in the main story, she'll follow her everywhere and do anything for her! She's somewhat of a hyper little thing was well, a little sparkler full of new ideas.

-Usually when Mai's little she and Haruka sort of just end up talking about various things, whatever comes to her mind Haruka is absolutely willing to listen. If they're on Nightcord it's common for them to have nights where Haruka puts on a cartoon or movie for Mai, and they'll watch it together <3

-Whenever they're together in person, Mai loves to put on little shows for Haruka, usually being "plays" based on stories or shows she likes. Haruka will never not be impressed by these, her little one did so good! She also likes dancing for her, even though she can't sing anymore she can still do that! Sometimes she'll have Haruka perform with her, and the two of them always end up quite happy ^w^

-Sometimes Haruka sings for Mai, be it to cheer her up when she's sad or as a lullaby, and she always ends up mesmerized when she does. Mai feels a bit sad that she can't sing too, but Haruka's always there to reassure her that it's alright ♡

-Haruka's put together little playmates for Mai and Minori at least a couple times, and they always go quite well! Two little idol fans together, watching cartoons or playing while talking about whatever makes them happy. There have been a few incidents where they ended up "arguing" over which of them Haruka loves more, but Haru's there to show them that they're equal, nothing could ever change that!

[lildoodlecat]

I'm actually pretty close to the end of Eternia i think?? I'm currently putting off the dungeon/fight or whatever on the orbus barrier tho to scuttle around looking for extra stuff ✨✨

I popped open a guide to help me navigate and I think the funniest thing abt it is when it recommends I be 10 levels higher than I am for an optional dungeon and I just brute force my way through anyway ajdksk like I was underleveled per the guide for both the shadow cave (found on my own a while ago) and the shrine with maxwell (just finished!) but I mean. If it works lmao

Same for the arena I managed to get all the way to the third battle of the world championship (cough with save states bc psp emulator coughcough) before I was like yea okay this is genuinely impossible at my level whoops— bc I helped an old man recover the grip sword (Cless' sword I'm pretty sure!!!!!!!) and wanted to see if the arena had a cameo fight,, I'll have to come back to that

Speaking of cameo stuff I'm keeping a lookout for when I can get the S.D. sword bc hello??? Destiny summon arte?????? I would like that. Pls. Another reason I'm putting off the alleged final battle and checking a guide bc I don't wanna finish the game and miss it

Also I've been way more proactive abt searching around myself for hidden items and side quests than usual so I wanted to make sure I wasn't missing anything interesting!! Rip to my lens collection journey tho bc I am NOT going back to figure out which ones I missed just so Irene (destiny) can give me more special items I may or may not use......

Anyway Eternia is a pretty solid tales game!! Even if I'm only sporadically watching the skits on yt since they're removed in both eng versions I've still been having a blast with it. Sorry for not talking abt the story at all ajdkslxl I really don't have much to say on it?? Maybe I'm just tired rn lol. I like the characters they're fun

[toburnup]

hiiii vio 🤗

so i keep thinking abt that ask game prompt you rb'd yesterday(?) about fic commentary and i know this is probably so random but one of my favorite fics of yours that i've read (so far) is we're bending and we're breaking ESPECIALLY that first chapter where Eddie is just drinking and sad and angsty. it was just so raw and real and GAH just so good!

ANYWAY, the passage i picked is not from that chapter but from that fic, the morning after, when Steve sees his car.

Steve doesn't notice the scratches until he's standing outside his car, hungover and blinking tiredly in the morning sunshine. His stomach lurches and he would throw up if he hadn't already twenty minutes earlier, cursing everything under the sun into the toilet bowl. His neighbour is out watering her flowerbeds, nosy and curious, and watching Steve as he stares at his car. His precious, beautiful, pristine car.

"You must've upset someone." She calls out, barely holding back a horrified chuckle at the state of his paint job.

"Yeah." Steve slowly opens the door, looks at the jagged mess of scratches. "Must have."

I'm curious, because it's not acknowledged by Steve again after that morning, but does he know it was Eddie? I wanna know what was going on in his head? Also any other commentary you have to add to the making of this fic??

Anywhooo love this fic and all your fics and still have a few in my tbr and can't wait to yell at you in the comments as i read them 💗✨

oop, i wrote up a whole answer and then let this sit in my drafts. ty for asking about this fic, sen - this is a fun one!! jealous and angry eddie is. oof. enjoyable to write.

"Then he keys the fuck out of it." is still one of my favourite chapter endings hehehe. commentary below the cut!!

does he know it was Eddie?

i didn't write it in explicitly, but i wrote it as steve being almost sure it was eddie. he saw him at the party, knows that's when this happened, and it's not like he's pissed off anyone else recently (as far as he knows). so eddie is the logical answer.

I wanna know what was going on in his head?

this is a stark realization for steve. his car being keyed is a very physical representation of the emotional hurt he'd inflicted onto eddie. i wrote eddie - in that fic esp - as someone who lashes out when crossed. while it wasn't the BEST response on his part, i think it was well deserved. and i think steve knows that too. and that dictates his own response (he's not angry at eddie for doing it, but he's definitely ashamed of himself for doing what he did).

i remember someone asking me way back if steve ever would bring it up - and i think he would! but after they're together and things are good between them. like he might bring it up to tease eddie, because that's some wild behaviour.

Also any other commentary you have to add to the making of this fic??

this was my first time writing from eddie's pov, and it was TOUGH - it's also a chapter w/o any dialogue, which is very unusual for me (and there's a big shift back to my regular style in ch 2). but i had that idea of eddie angrily watching steve flirt at a party annnnd wanted to give it a shot.

thank you for asking about this one!!

[fanfiction dvd commentary track]

[abombihoney]

I'm in a worldbuilding mood, beware.

Do you think Bugaria has capitalism? How would it even work, with the currency being edible? And capable of rotting? How would it work if a famine (however unlikely) happened and it was used as emergency food supplies?

Are there any orphan fall backs (orphanages, funds for them, easy supplies, lower prices, etc)? The only (blatantly stated, and without a caregiver) orphans we see are in the ant kingdom, and are a pair of ladybugs, a group commonly discriminated against in game. If there are orphan fall backs, nobody gave them to these two. They mention in game that the older one goes hungry to feed the younger one often enough to be obvious.

Why did nobody question where Leif came from? Did everyone simultaneously recognise them and just... move on? Were there even any records of explorers and scouts in the time that they came from?

Did Rebecca really not remember Leif? She seemed really quick to make friends with a random stranger who knew her name without introduction, something that is typically seen as super creepy and stalkerish.

Is Elizant II even okay? She obviously has at least a few confidence issues, given how happy she is when Leif calls her a good queen.

If Elizant I wasn't in on the Snakemouth Labs, why didn't she wait to send more people in with better equipment? It likely would have ended better for the victims.

Is Snakemouth why the Roaches dissapeared? We know some stuck around while the rest guarded the sapling. What happened to the ones that stuck around?

(Sorry, I just needed to mention these little plot holes and questions.)

i do not know enough about economic systems to know if capitalism is what they got going on. genow straight up says in the art book that like, he didnt really think abt it. i presume he just thought berries as a currency is fun. though i do believe if there is a famine of some kind, it's implied thats what the bees are storing all that honey for

we dont really see a lot of bugaria's society. we only get little snapshots and an orphanage wasnt one of those. perhaps the bigger cities have them? like the termite city? but i figure it smaller areas the kids just go to w/e family member/neighbor/friend wanted the kids and could care for them.

perhaps the fallback the ladybug kids got was that they were allowed in bugaria at all lmao. poor dudes.

back in ye olde days, you could just show up in cities lol. theres no database of everyone that exists. its probably fairly common for bugs to move from w/e and just settle down in the first city they find.

to be fair, only eetl, zasp, gen, eri, and maki know that leif isnt an original part of the party. as far as everyone else is concerned, he's just a part of their team, and came from some small village or smth im sure.

ppl who know leif wasnt an original part of the party most likely assume they picked leif up on their way to snakemouth and like, whatever its not like they care? now they have to split rewards and w/e three ways instead of two but thats what they get for breaking tradition i guess.

old people just be like that. shit dude, there are people i know that apparently they share classes with me and come talk to me by my name, and i have no idea who they are. (i am also just bad with faces)

like, to be fair, leif is also really easy to get along with, he's a chill dude.

i mean, elizant 2 is just going through some imposter syndrome she's fine lol. its just a self confidence issue. she'll be fine lol. she could probably use like, some real good friends, and therapy, both of which im sure are a little tricky to get when ur a monarch.

to be fair, we don't know how there was between leif's scouting party and the deaths of many explorers. considering that the explorers were made after elizants death, it may have been that elizant 1 forbid anyone from exploring it. it's not like she can send an army to a foreign land bc one dude got got by a spider while she was having him sneak to see what's up in there

i mean, the snakemouth roaches deffo disappeared via zombie. but there were other roach civilizations that also disappeared (the sand castle and sand village). so like. we dont got really got an explanation for that one. perhaps they also created their own demise. maybe there was a sickness. maybe they just got up and left.

[reachfolk]

yeSSss im very glad you did the ask game i saw it and thought about your kids- im gonna do a lot bc i love them feel free to ignore any if theres too many JSHDHSD

🌹, 🌻, and 🌱for Robin!

🌷 and 🌈 for Isobel

☁️ and ☘ for Alexi and Marci!

🌙 and 🌳 for anyone in the tribe!

YOURE TOO NICE FOR INDULGING ME LIKE THIS SKFJSKLDJF, LOVE U BESTIE <3

🌹: what is robin's biggest fear?

ooo this is a fun one!! i think it's being shunned by his family. he kinda knows he was never meant for the life he was born into, and he never fit in with anyone in his social class except his sisters. he butts heads with his mom all the time, and he feels like he has little to no connection with his dad. he kinda has this feeling of, "how can they love me if they don't even like me?" so he's just sort of expecting the situation to blow up.

🌻: what is robin's mental health state?

could be better, could be worse! he definitely has a lot of anger issues that he has trouble containing, and he suffers a lot from bouts of depression just because of how out of place he feels. it got a lot worse when alexi left. even though he supported her decision, she was half his support system (the other being marci) so he didn't handle it well. and of course, he and his siblings have a genetic predisposition to anxiety and insomnia from his mother's side, so he's struggled with those all his life.

🌱: does robin have any pets? does he want any?

i don't think the family has any pets but he definitely would like one! he strikes me as a cat person, but i can also see him being into birds. he'd totally be the sort of person to feed the crows around the city and ends up well liked among them to a point that they leave him shiny gifts.

🌷: how does isobel take her coffee?

she would only drink it socially (ex: if they have guests over that brought coffee beans from their native land as a gift). for the most part it makes her too twitchy and anxious to drink regularly. she does like lavender and chamomile tea with warm milk because it helps her rest!

🌈: what does isobel like and dislike abt herself?

she kinda knows that she can be pretty underhanded and clever and she likes that because she can use it to make sure she and her family are safe, whenever she can at least.

she dislikes the fact that she's a very stubborn and righteous person, because she finds it conflicts so much with her desire to protect her family. her kids very much inherited this trait of hers, and it's why they're so difficult to manage. it frustrates her to no end because she knows they would put themselves in danger if they felt it was the right thing to do. she wishes she were just a little more selfish, and she wishes they were too.

☁️: what is lexi's clothing style like?

very traditional !! she makes her armor herself, usually out of hides and leather. it's a religious thing; creating your armor from the pelts of prey you've hunted is a way of earning hircine's favor. same goes for the feathers and bones she adorns herself with. if it wasn't a handmade gift, it was something she made herself. she's very proud of it! it also gives her room to make her armor how she likes it rather than rely on anyone else. she likes her outfit to be free-flowing and light and not restricting at all.

☁️: what is marci's clothing style like?

when she isn't forced to wear her fancy dresses, i think she prefers simple mage robes! she's not one for a lot of flashy things, but she does like to embroider pretty patterns into her robes to give them a personal touch.

☘: does alexi have or want piercings?

other than her ears, i don't think so! when she isn't on a mission, she definitely likes wearing dangly, handmade bone earrings. she likes the way they clink together lol.

☘: does marceline have any piercings?

i think she had to get her ears pierced when she started working at the temple because she's expected to be adorned in all sorts of beautiful accessories. she doesn't hate it, but she doesn't love it either. if she had a choice, she'd just let the piercings close up.

🌙: does anyone in the tribe have any unusual hobbies?

esme !! she has synesthesia, so she loves painting the sounds she sees, especially on her automatons that she works with. her armor and her materials are always coated in paints of all colors, but mostly cool tones like blues and purples, but also the occasional pink and red! they mostly turn out to be very rigid patterns, but she'll sometimes draw blocky faces and hearts lol.

🌳: does anyone in the tribe collect anything?

alexi collects bones, teeth, feathers, all sorts of stuff like that! ophelia hoards soul gems bc she uses them a lot, since her main weapon is a staff. and esme collects all sorts of fun dwemer knick knacks, even if they have no use for her research. i like to think she has the dwemer equivalent of a rubix cube that she was convinced for the longest time was some sort of elaborate key before she eventually realized it's a child's toy. she plays with it all the time regardless lol.

[yomiurinikei]

There was Syobai+ Yuri, Kokoro + Teruya, Otono + Yoruko and Iroha, Shinji were with Yuki and Nikei, Emma were with Hajime and maybe Setsuka and Mikado + Sora. I'm not sure but I think it is those people combined. 😅

this ended up just being "what do they do now" bc. that's what i did with the old post, but if u want, i can go more in-depth with personality, dynamics, etc etc! ~*~ SDRA2 Remnants of Despair! •so mikado just decided that yknow what? what if he just brought everyone back? •because like. everything was already lowkey falling apart, not like things could get much worse... •so he resurrected the dead, the resulting fights were... bad, and only intensified as mikado revealed the rest of the secrets surrounding the game •the chaos and despair of having everything revealed just... kinda caused the CoU to spiral into despair, then yuuki joined them, and sora too, as this all allowed her to be in a mental state where mikado could fuck with her code to revert her back to a more akane-like state. this got shinji (who canonically has ptsd so this was probably triggering that lowkey) to spiral too •setsuka couldn't be the only one motivating the group, and so after both she and shinji were gone, those who remained just... couldn't deal with syobai and kokoro also working with mikado, kanade being a serial killer, it caused the remaining participants to just... fall to despair •when they all first wake up, it's a minor massacre,, the kisa foundation wasn't expecting 13 (excluding: mikado, teruya and sora) people in despair to just go fucking feral •teruya says that he'll have the most influence if he says that he's not in despair and had a hard time waking up, bc then he won't get arrested by the kisa foundation, and he "takes kokoro to arrest her" as they can hear that there’s more kisa foundation members coming, and it’ll be most realistic that way •everyone else just fucking runs and winds up in groups randomly ~*~ Sora and Mikado •mikado gets out of the simulation with sora! •he just... gets some of the participants to knock a bitch out and upload him into their body (almost everyone else who was monitoring the simulation is dead) •and then, with the way clear, and soras body jump-started by divine luck, they exit the simulation. •sorakanes mind is. so fucking dead •like she's not a vegetable but the trauma of having utsuro dead + her surviving bc of his luck is causing a lot of survivors guilt, and then theres the fact that sora was all along just a pawn •and then there's the fact that she has two personalities now which is. hard •overall she's just. resigned herself to being dragged wherever she gets taken, too lost in her mind to think of what's going on outside •which is good news for mikado at least •and so he takes sora with him all over the world, using the divine luck she has, and his control over her to make any and all of his wildest dreams come true •so, at the end of the day, mikado got what he wanted. he has completely taken over a city a la WoH and is in the process of conquering the surrounding areas. lovely ~*~ Yuri and Syobai •yuri is now in charge of the kagarin conglomerate due to his parents being fucking dead!! good for him!

•if we’re being real, he probably killed them

•he launched them into space with no food or supplies or space knowledge

•”well, maybe instead of forcing me into the space industry (is there a better word for that?) you should’ve been focused on educating yourselves!” - yuri, who I aspire to be

•mr kagarin pls launch my parents into space next

•uh. issue though: he thinks launching them into space = therapy. it does not.

•which means we have a very unstable and powerful teen (fuck the age plot twist, if you hadn’t figured that out by now) just running around! good thing there’s someone here to manipulate him!

•syobai, who ended up following yuri when they all ran (he tracks money like a bloodhound) sees a chance to. finally not have to do crimes (think abt how the tragedy ruined the industry) to survive, and so he ends up posing as like. yuris guide and advisor!

•part of what threw yuri into despair was learning that he had died at a guys hands, and so he’s just completely given up on his dream of finding a girl to be special to.

•which means that he doesn't screech and push syobai away + get him fucking executed

•similar to whats happening with sora and Mikado, they kinda operate like a small kingdom (the kagarin conglomerate is way bigger tho) with the one who has actual power being manipulated by the one pulling the strings ~*~ Emma Hajime and Setsuka •teamwork makes the dream work! •one of the three will. lure some sad, unsuspecting soul to where the other lay in wait •they prefer not to get their hands dirty, so they come up with games for their victims to play! •emma likes hiding then calling out to the victim as some sort of lost loved one, make them play chase throughout the woods, trying to find the one they swore was dead, until their lungs are aching, and their breathing is heavy •it's then that she'll come and go "aw, maybe next time you'll reach them in time :(" before murdering the victim •hajime and setsuka try to go a bit more basic, something that involves a bit less toying with their victims •they just offer a trade! or, more like a bet... the winner gets whatever of the losers materials that they bet! •and because hajime and suka r being kinda enough to propose a trade, they get to choose what the game is! •it's almost always boxing/billiards •it's,, not rare for someone to make a bet they can't live up to (someone overconfident in their skills who doesn't realize they're up against shsl students) •and when that happens, it's okay! hajime and setsuka can find something to take,, •so setsuka has a special set of billiards balls that she harvested from people, showing off a pretty collection of eyes that are somehow still good

•and hajime is slowly assembling a boxing ring using bones, tendons and muscles from limbs that he broke (and often later ripped off) in boxing matches 

•oh! and lucky emma, she got a gift from them! it's a pretty dark red skirt they dyed... somehow, and hey! her perfume can almost cover up the smell of copper

~*~ Kokoro and Teruya

•i legitimately cannot remember what i had for these two other than "teruya fucks up the kisa foundation from within" so! 

•kokoro gets arrested by the foundation bc. of course she does, she fucked up 

•but oh! look at that, she got out,, somehow,,, wack 

•i've elaborated on RoD!teruya in a different post, but! he essentially ends up throwing rei into despair, then fucks up more things, which throws already traumatized and unstable tsurugi into hell! 

•so teruya just puppeteers tsurugi around to get him to spread despair 

•and then kokoro uses rei, tsurugi, and the 6.5 squad as new experiments, monitoring their reactions to different shows of despair, almost always ones they had a hand in 

•this is a short section which i feel bad abt but RoD!teruya has a wholeass post abt him and i'm. literally so tired it's unreal, so ig i'll just cry abt it later or smthn 

•also I wrote these hcs out of order so - its fun how three of these are similar, and its all the ones that r duo-centric

~*~ Kandade Hibiki Iroha and Yoruko

•setsuka hajime and emma: round two!!! 

•iroha paints beautiful posters advertising the otonokojis concerts! they're meant to be a way of spreading hope! 

•bc of teruya being in the kisa foundation and corrupting it, he made sure no one learned they were despairs, which helps 

•and yoruko does a good job of convincing people to come, what with her lovely hostess skills (in her ftes she mentions companionship and being charismatic as a big part of her talent) 

•the concerts themselves are enough to spread despair,, the music at such frequencies, making such sounds that it's almost enough to get people to snap 

•then the fact it's being done by two symbols of hope (one of which reveals her.. feelings for the other in every concert complete with videos of what'll happen if u get too close to her) just fucks everyone up 

•uh also. the backdrops/set is painted by iroha, and they cause despair, and use the stereotypical "painting with blood trope"

 •wait no fuck andrew is telling me to make a sdra2 cr33pypasta au (i dont want this in that tag) i dont wanna i really dont 

•anywaysss! they all having fun. they r effectively utilizing girl power /joke 

•also. yoruko and iroha have a opening act where they go “so I bet you've all been wondering where the otonokojis have been!!’

•i'm sure u can imagine how well that goes over

•yoruko explains everything that they went through, with iroha providing uh,, visual aids, which gets the whole crowd already tasting that despair, as the doors lock, and they’re told its time to enjoy the show

•if anyone hasn't slipped into despair by the end of it, they start randomly selecting people (mostly children) to come up and be harvested so iroha can paint more until everyone is,, either dead or in despair.

~*~ Shinji Nikei and Yuuki

•aka: depression and trauma in the form of two high school boys and a adult man 

•shinji is just. hoping that if he stays with them, maybe one day there'll be a chance for him to save them,, 

•he has a lot of self-deprecative thoughts bc of his ptsd, with being unable to save people before, and now this is a constant triggering reminder that "he'll never be good enough" 

•nikei,, the whole thing with like. losing to mikado really fucked up his self esteem 

•it's literally just not here anymore?? it's gone, he's dead self esteem-wise

•hajime is still healthy, emma and iroha are in control of their lifes, and nikei? its really fucking him up to know he’s the only one “not worthy” of that littlest bit of a happy ending

•honestly he’s pretty similar to shinji in that he’s just trying to listen to yuuki

•he's practically incapable of making his own decisions now, so he just listens to yuuki in the hopes that yuuki will be able to succeed where he failed

•speaking of yuuki!

he is so tired,,,

•the whole killing game he was just a pawn!! everyone suffered and was meant to die solely to hurt him!!! and he can’t be upset about it, that would be being whiney and weak!!!! hell yeah for survivors guilt!!!

•so he just. spends all of his time trying to make the time pass quicker

•which means getting shinji and nikei to cause despair in whatever way will be new and entertaining enough to help him take his mind off it all for just a bit as he instead focuses on the living hell he’s creating, always has created, and is doomed to eternally create around him