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#like when i talk to ppl abt stuff they like nod along and agree like what im saying is normal
opens-up-4-nobody · 3 years
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#hmm sometimes i have a hard time gaging how worried i should be abt my behavior#like when i talk to ppl abt stuff they like nod along and agree like what im saying is normal#but i cant tell if what im saying is actually normal and im just being whiny or if theyre just nodding along bc its what u do when u talk#and like ultimately all that matters is if ur behavior is making ur life worst but like idk i tend to put up with a lot until someone else#is like: wtf that seems kinda not great#so like ???#like rn im laying here paralyzed thinking abt when im gonna go to the grocery store bc i have to get gas 1st#and literally the gas station is like 3min away but i am somehow ver much considering just opperating on no food bc i cant deal with it#and like i have to fill out reembursment sheets for a ton of stuff that was really expensive but if i even think about it its acutely#stressful and ive still not done it 2+weeks later#and i should ask my lab mate how we're getting to a conference this weekend but again if i think abt it i feel like im gonna die#and my apartment is a complete disaster area and im having stress dreama abt how messy it is but my brain wont let me clean it up#im just curled up at the bottom of my tiny self made fishbowl watching as the water trickles out a crack that my brain wont let me fix#if i just work harder i dont actually have to deal with my issues right?#i say is i continue to work 10hr days when i only get paid 29hrs a week#it has taken hr literally 4 going on 5 months to fully hire me and who knows how long itll actually take#bc they fucking suck#whatever... its only a few weeks until i go home for Thanksgiving... and then have to deal with how to get to the airport...#sigh... nothing can be easy#unrelated
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captainunderkrupp · 4 years
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ppl were talking abt branch being good with kids on this one discord i’m in and i remembered this unfinished fic that i had!!
(for some reason, they are out on a camping trip or smth. i wrote this before twt came out and just kind of went w what info i had from like the first two trailers lol)
Branch groaned. And kept groaning. It was neverending, like he was just lungs, sighing forever.
"What?" Poppy asked, finally getting tired of waiting for him to finish.
He cut himself off. "The ground's too wet. I can't start a fire."
"Oh, that's not too bad!" Poppy grinned. "We don't need the light, we'll be sleeping!"
Branch glared at her. "We need the heat! We'll freeze to death!"
"Oh..." Poppy felt suddenly lucky that she was totally pink; it was hard to see blush when you were monochrome.
"That's ok!" Satin and Chenille chorused.
"Yeah!" Biggie agreed.
Branch squinted, trying to figure out what they could be talking about. "Oh no," he muttered, not quite sure yet, but he was sure he wouldn't like it.
"We can cu~udle!" Guy Diamond sang, holding Tiny close. Tiny, of course, didn't give him a proper hug back, but enjoyed the contact.
Branch groaned, and went back to try and light the wet wood. When he had fallen into the creek earlier, even his backup wood, in case it did rain like this, had gotten wet.
He was stuck.
"Fine!" he shouted, throwing his flint down at the ground. He hesitated, and then picked it back up. "We'll cuddle. Can't be worse than..." he shuddered. "Hug time."
Everyone cheered, and started moving in.
"Not yet!" he shrieked, and everyone paused. "Just... give me a minute. Jeez."
He started pulling out... weapons. Or, not just weapons, but a lot of stuff. No one looking was really sure where they were coming from, but there were blades from his pockets, roots from his vest, strange contraptions from his hair. It took a moment, but he finally seemed to have removed a lot from his person.
"No wonder hug time is uncomfortable for him," Cooper muttered. Unfortunately, he had no volume control, so Branch heard him anyway.
Branch rolled his eyes, and then rolled out a tarp. "Here. So we're not just sleeping on wet ground."
Everyone complimented him on his forethought, getting comfortable on the tarp. Satin and Chenille were wrapped around Smidge, Cooper settled down on the outside of the pile, and Biggie was underneath Poppy and Guy Diamond, who made sure Tiny wasn't squished by the cuddling but was also cozy.
Branch glanced around, looking for a place he could tuck himself in at the edge. "So, uh... where should I...?"
Poppy looked up, and grinned. She looked conspiratorially at Smidge and Biggie.
"Oh no. That look, I know that, look, what are you-- AAH!" he screamed as Smidge launched her hair at him, lifting him easily and dumping him between Poppy and Guy. Biggie immediately threw an arm over all three of them, and Poppy intertwined her hair with Branch's.
Branch blushed. He tried to struggle, tried to get out, but there were too many people, and this was... really... cozy... actually...
He was asleep before Poppy could tease him about being comfortable.
"Whoa, he went out like a light!" Biggie whispered.
"Aw, he's snoring!" Satin cooed, and Chenille groaned at the idea of sleeping with someone who snores. Luckily it was soft.
"Wow, this is the fastest I've ever seen him go to sleep," Poppy noted.
"You've seen him sleep before?" Cooper asked, lifting his head up and laying it over Guy so he could see better. Guy carefully made sure Tiny wasn't pinned.
"Well, yeah, we've had sleepovers. Sometimes he had to stay at mine and Dad's place before he was old enough to build that bunker of his. And he, uh..." she blushed, grinning. "Invited me over a few nights ago."
A chorus of "aww!"s erupted.
Branch jolted, adjusted, and went right back to sleep. He never even opened his eyes.
Everyone let out a breath they didn't realize they'd been holding.
"Ok," Poppy whispered, "Let's just settle down, and we'll all have a nice night."
Everyone fell asleep pretty soon after that. Except for one troll, who smiled down at Branch's resting face, before settling down herself.
~
Branch jolted awake, barely holding back a scream. He gasped, attempting to stave off a panic attack... and not doing so well.
In the low light, he barely registered it was early morning. Mostly, he noticed that he was tangled up with almost everyone else. Quickly, trying to breathe without hyperventilating, he disentangled himself as best he could from the cuddle pile.
Eventually, Branch had managed to extract himself, without even disturbing anyone. He was pretty proud of that.
But for right now, he needed to breathe.
He took a quick gasp in, 1234, held it, 1234, let it out, 12345678, in, 1234, hold, 1234, out, 123 4 5 6 7 8, in, 1 2 3 4, hold, 1 2 3 4, out, 1 2 3 4 5... 6... 7... 8...
Eventually his breathing finally slowed, and he could close his eyes without seeing the vivid colors of his nightmare behind the lids. He fell onto a nearby rock with a shuddering breath. Should I go back to bed? No, I slept through the night, and it's early in the morning already... He sighed again.
"Branch?"
He nearly screamed again, jumping and flailing. He fell into a practiced pose, ears twitching for a threat.
His eyes fell on Tiny Diamond, blinking innocently from barely more than a few arm lengths away.
Branch paled. "Tiny!" He struggled to relax, not wanting to scare Guy's baby.
Tiny rubbed his eye under his glasses. "You woke me up," he complained.
Branch had to wince. He had tried to be careful... but he supposed kids were easier to disturb. "Sorry, Tiny. I didn't mean to." He shuffled, not sure what to do with himself.
Small, curious eyes stared at him, and Tiny's head tilted. "What woke you up?"
"Just a nightmare."
"What's a nightmare?"
Branch blinked, surprised. Oh, right. As much as younger trolls could learn just from listening from their eggs, there were definitely gaps in their education, depending on what they were exposed to.
He supposed no one in the Snack Pack enjoyed talking about nightmares, so why would Tiny know?
"It's... a very bad dream."
"Oh, yeah, ok," Tiny nodded, seemingly understanding. Branch paused, waiting for Tiny to ask more.
But the trolling didn't seem to have anymore questions about that. "Do you know when my Daddy's going to wake up?"
Branch glanced back over at the pile with Tiny. Guy seemed to be sleep singing, and Branch wondered if someone was going to join in-- yep. Poppy was starting to hum.
"Uh... not sure, actually." He looked up at the sky. The moon waved back, and he could see the sun slowly, slowly coming up. It was a slow dawn, then. "The sun won't be up for a while, and that's when they usually wake up."
Tiny sighed, in that overly honest yet unweary way only little kids can. "Okaaay," he drew out the word, and then started beatboxing under his breath. Branch could hear him muttering ideas, switching around rhymes and verses.
It was catchy, he had to admit. He started humming along, a bit.
Tiny looked delighted. He scrambled to sit on the rock Branch was occupying, and Branch tried to scoot to give the kid the flatter side of it.
They sat there a while, trading rhythms and verses quietly. He could hear some more sleep singing from a distance, just slightly out of sync with their own music.
Eventually, the sun had traded out with the moon in the sky. It was definitely daytime, even if it was a little early.
Branch had an idea. A terrible idea. He grinned. The perfect revenge.
"Hey, Tiny," he whispered, leaning in toward the trolling. The kid perked up, staring wide-eyed at Branch, attentive. "You want to help me wake up the Snack Pack?"
Tiny grinned; of course he did, the Snack Pack included his Daddy! He jumped up, all excited. "Yeah! What'cha wanna do? Cuz I know you've got an idea!"
Branch chuckled at Tiny's enthusiasm. "Yeah. Here..." he whispered into Tiny's ear, and Tiny grinned.
~
The whole Snack Pack was all very deeply asleep. A good cuddle pile will do that to your average troll. Especially on a cold night, surprisingly. Guy was just beginning to twitch, frowning in his sleep as he subconsciously searched for his son, who didn't seem to be...
He jolted up at the sudden noise of a beat being dropped, an expert beatboxing suddenly bursting into the clearing they'd decided to camp out in.
Directly after that, a loud crescendo of "OoooOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH..." went through the air and woke everyone else up.
"Tiny D, break it down!"
Suddenly, Tiny burst into all their lines of sight, rapping his heart out. He sung about the sunrise and missing his dad and how he was glad they were awake, and beatboxing accompanied him all the while.
By the end, everyone had calmed, and most were even clapping. Guy settled for jumping up and picking up his son in delight.
"That was amazing!" he squealed, letting the last word be sung, autotuned. Tiny laughed and leaned back into his dad's face, nearly headbutting him.
"Wait, who gave him that awesome beat?" Cooper wondered sleepily, still rubbing muck out of his eyes.
Tiny pointed, and slowly, everyone turned toward a rock in the clearing that no one had really noticed before. Branch smirked and waved at all of them.
Jaws dropped. "Whoa!" Poppy shrieked, and everyone clamored. "When did you learn to beatbox?!"
Branch flinched, trying not to get trampled this early in the morning, thank you. "Hey, back off," he snapped.
He quickly devolved, though. His lips twitched, and then it was all over. He was laughing, hard and long. Tiny had started laughing long before, and their voices echoed through the clearing.
"Ha ha ha... you... you... your faces!! Ha ha..." he finally petered out, just letting out small giggles. Tiny was still going.
Everyone was staring at Branch. Poppy somehow looked more pink than usual.
(A/N: I have an hc that Tiny is a little bit touch averse. Not much, he loves contact, but he doesn't like hugs or anything else constrictive. And he mostly hangs out with his dad rather than other people. possibly bc glitter trolls have more sensitive skin? i would be too if my skin/entire body could flake off that easily.)
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soupncrackwrs · 4 years
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Okay so I had an idea for an AFTG fic but again I’m horrible at anything that isn’t hc’s so here we are (feel free to make this into a fic if you want just credit me) *Also all pairing in this are platonic besides andreil and mattdan soo, don’t like get out*
This spawned from that fact that one of my 3 PTP’s (platonic trust pairing) in AFTG is Kev and Neil
This is probably my PTP that has the most popularity in the fandom I’d say (my other 2 are Renee/Andrew/Neil and Neil/Dan which are both *really* hard to find ((at least on ao3)) so that sucks) but you’d be surprised how little it gets like actually focused on
Most times, platonic wise, Neil gets shown bonding with The MonstersTM, Allison, or Matt
wHICH IS FINE IM TOTALLY OKAY W/ THAT
I just happen to enjoy neil/dan, kev/neil,and renee/andrew/neil more
So I wanted a fic that really showcased kev and neils relationship
BUT IM ALSO IN LOVE WITH OUSIDER POV SO THIS HAPPENED
Now onto the actual headcanon
So neil and kevin are like best friends
They've been like that for a while
but they also like fucking despise each other
like they love and care deeply for each other and would probably die for the other if the situation called for it
but will that stop them from almost killing each other 24/7?
HELL NO
so they go to college together
along with all the upperclassmen (so matt+dan+allison+renee+seth) but not the monsters
andrew and neil have been together for a bit
they met around the same time kev and neil did so they've been together for a while (also while we're talking abt relationships, i don't ship renison ((am i the only one who believes that renee is a strong aro gal who don't need no man/lady/person)) but if you wanna make this renison, go ahead)
andrew goes to a different college tho ( for some reason i dunno)
and neil doesn't really like sharing stuff abt his personal life
we all know this
but a lot of the stuff he's done in his life involves andrew
so drew is brought up a fair amount
but when the upperclassmen ask who he is neil kinda just smiles and then moves on so they ask kevin and he's like
oh andrew is like one of my bffls he's a ride or die
(obviously not phrased like that)
and the upperclassmen r like 'ok he can be trusted he's a friend'
(little do they know hehhehhe-)
sO ONE DAY
kev is tryna forget all his issues
so he decides to get hella pissed
wasted like he's never been b4
probably cause thea broke up w/ him last week but we don't talk abt that okay shhhhhhh
so he goes to the next party alli throws and
let's say it together kids
gets wasted like he's never been b4
to the point where the upperclassmen don't really know wht to do with him????
so they call up neil like yo pick up kev he's drunk off his ass like always but we think he's doing it cause he's sad this time'
so neil, being the good and sweet angel (not) that he is
goes to pick up kevin
and like he finds him on a coach almost catatonic just rambling to himself
so neil picks him up and drags him away to his car
and ofc all the upperclassmen r trying to help
so while neil is putting kevin into his car kev randomly just stops talking
(which is weird cause he's kept rambling this entire time)
and he looks neil in the eyes and goes
'i love you neil'
and neil just like takes a second
pAuSeS
because he's not used to people showing him love even tho so many ppl rlly do love him (this boy is2g-)
and then quietly says
'love you too kev'
and finishes buckling him up
all the upperclassmen have been watching this going on the entire time and they read into in the exact wrong way
(they're trying their best, my baby dumbasses, but they're just wrong)
and think this is a romantic love confession between frenimies *instead* of the declaration of mutual respect and affection between 2 bro's that it is
matt is the first one to voice this after kev and neil leave and he is
PUMPED
he is super excited that his bro has found someone to love just like he found dan and is super excited to like talk abt love and go on double dates n stuff
and every one else agrees
which is why they're all super disappointed that by the time a week goes by, nothing has changed between them
so dan matt and allison decide to do something about it (renee+seth ducking out because'it's rude to meddle' and 'why tf would i care abt jostens love bullshit')
they try to set up kevin and neil a bunch of different time s
once with the offer of a study session that they all say they can't make it to, leaving neil and kevin alone
another time with the offer of kevin and neil going to the movies w/ matt and dan
(neil ends up busy w/ a skype date with andrew that he can't pass up cause they're always so busy and he has to see his boyf so kevin just ends up 3rd wheeling matt and dan)
and once with allison straight up just telling neil that he and kevin should get coffee some time
which neil respond to with
'we already get coffee together?'
so dan matt and alli are stumped
they don't know what to do with these 'lovesick' idiots
they're problem gets solved tho don't you worry
so the next weekend, andrew is gonna come over to psu and stay for like a week
neil is oVER THE MOON
HE IS SOO HAPPYYYYY
And kevin is really happy too
so the upperclassmen take this to mean that these boys have finally gotten the hint and asked each other out
so imagine they're suprise when the next time the group goes to get lunch (which they do with each other every wednesday )
a super short blond emo joins them
and no one really acknowledges it?!?!?!?!?!?
until renee is just like 'hello andrew, how are you?' knowing smile on her face
and the upperclassmen are just like 'oh it's the famous andrew, that makes sense' but then they're like 'wait how does renee know andrew?!?!'
they ask and renee is just like 'neil gave me his discord. he thought we'd get along well'
-and then they're just like okayyy renee totally has a crush but well let it slideee
uNTIL
at the end of lunch neil is just like 'oh wait i never properly introduced him-' -cause you're a mess, junkie' -fuck off andrew' then just turns to the upperclassmen and says
'guys this is my boyfriend andrew'
and the foxes just silently freak out
because neil is in love with kevin? it's so clear? why did neil go and get a boyf when he has his love right in front of him??????
so after lunch, matt dan and alli ask to talk to neil privately
(andrew, kev,and renee all talk together while seth like, looks at his phone)
and they're like 'neil why'd you get a boyf??'
and neils like 'wdym?'
and alli says 'why'd you get a boyf if your so obviously in love w/ kevin?!'
and neil just LAUGHS at them
straight up cackles
and then the upperclassmen are like whaaaaattttt????
we saw your declaration of love at the party??
and you're both really close and seem to genuinely like and be interested in each other??
what gives????
and neils like
'me n kev are besties
that was a platonic declaration of love
also
i'm demi and me and drew have been together for like 3 years now'
and the upperclassmen are just like 'ooooooooooooooooohhhhhh sorryyyyyyyyy'
it's the first time alli has ever lost a bet (it was w/ seth abt neils feelings for kevin)
neil tells andrew abt it and the shortie just snorts and is like 'kevin would fuck a racket quicker than he'd fuck you'
neil is like 'i'm basically exy personified tho, soooooo'
drew tells him to shut up
(he does when andrew asks yes or no, just nods his head and smiles)
renee knew all along and is happy for her friends
kevin just wants to play exy he's been deprived the entire post
So yeah that's the entire headcanon. If you want some music to listen to while you write or just in general i recommend "I lost a Friend" by FINNEAS and "Corduroy Dreams" by Rex Orange County. they don't really have anything to do with the story, they're just real good :) Thanks for reading. see y'all later
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
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park jihoon as your older friend
(( AS REQUESTED! // jihoon scenario where you're 2 years younger than him so you think he only sees you as a little sister but he confesses to you when he thinks you're gonna date someone else bc he's scared of losing you??? this is lowkey rly specific but THANK YOU!!! ))
ure used to hearing ppl talk abt how young jihoon is, and how hes so so so cute
of course, u agree with him
everyone does tbh
still, it makes u feel a little upset bc it seems like everyone who says those things are older than him, with jobs and life experience and history and Fancy Stuff like tht
so compared to them, u feel like a toddler
even tho ure only 2 yrs younger than jihoon, it feels like theres 100 yrs between u
it doesnt help tht jihoon is always going on radio shows and reality programs, acting cute whenever someone older so much as looks his way
still
u know u should prob just feel grateful tht ure close friends, since most ppl dont even get tht far
but sometimes u wonder if itd be better if u werent close, bc now he only sees u as a little sibling to take care of
u wish u could say it wasnt true, but everything he does is exactly like an older brother
he dotes on u and watches over u, but instead of acting like a caring boyfriend, he just seems like someone babysitting his little sibling and u haTE IT
ure not even sure how long uve liked him romantically, but its like whenever u remember how he used to treat u even when u first met, ure stuck thinking abt how he mustve seen u
after all, who can look at a kid tht used to cry whenever their parents went to work and go “oh yeah theyre cute i like them a lot” ???
not jihoon
esp when hes already way out of ur league to begin with
as u get older, ur feelings for jihoon dont completely fade
there r times when theyre easier to ignore, sure, but its impossible to think tht theyre actually gone
whenever u guys make eye contact over dinner at a fast food restaurant, he beams at u in a way tht cant possibly be taken as platonic
ur heart is beating way too fast for u to lie to urself
anyways
u try and move on by befriending other ppl and even trying to date some other ppl
of course tht rlly doesnt work out
u turn down almost anyone tht u could possibly go out with, and even when ur friends try and set u up with other ppl, u can never make it past the first blind date
(ure too busy comparing the strangers to jihoon and watching them all fall short)
u mention some of the blind dates to jihoon
at first its bc ure hoping he’ll get jealous and confess
but as more time goes on, hes still just as supportive in his answers, and u realize tht theres no use in hoping when he clearly doesnt feel the same way
then a new guy transfers to ur school, and hes vaguely attractive and smart and funny and u get along well enough
he asks u out after school one day, and ure like why not? so u accept a first date bc u might as well give it a shot
its the first date tht ure on where u try not to think so much abt jihoon
it works for the most part, but u still find ur mind drifting off and wondering what jihoons up to
when the guy excuses himself to take a phone call from one of his friends, u manage to text jihoon to check up on him
u banter back and forth, and u cant help the way ure grinning down at ur phone with every text he sends u
at some point he asks where u are, and u realize wHOOPS guess who didnt tell jihoon tht u were having a date tonight
...
u
cmon dude whats up w that
anyways so u explain to him tht ure on a date w the new guy in ur class
and jihoons response is surprisingly short and clipped
its just a quick “oh” and ure like “???” bc hes never responded quite like tht before
so u ask him if smthns up
u see the typing bubble appear and disappear, appear and disappear, and so on
eventually it just disappears completely and he doesnt start typing again and ure even more confused than u were before
after what seems like forever, he texts u to ask if ure having a good time
u tell him tht u think u are
honestly tho, ure not too sure bc now its impossible for u to think of anything other than him
the guy comes back with an apology and a smile, and ure forced to tuck ur phone away and try not to be too obviously distracted for the rest of the evening
tht proves to be WAY TOO HARD
the entire night ure picking apart the way the guy cuts his food (jihoon looks cute doing literally anything), how he gives u a smile when u meet eyes (it doesnt look as genuine and bright as jihoons), how jihoon wouldnt even take u to a restaurant like this (u both feel more comfortable somewhere lowkey and relaxed)
if the guy notices, he doesnt say anything
at the end, he just drops u off back at ur home and tells u he had a nice time, and “maybe we could do this again?”
all u can do is choke out a “maybe” in response before ure hurrying inside and scrambling to check ur phone
jihoon hasnt rlly texted u since u last checked, and u can feel ur heart drop a little in its chest
u send him a quick msg, asking what hes up to and if he wants to facetime or smthn bc ure done with the date, and hes quick to agree
right before u call him, u see his text saying tht “i need to talk to u abt smtn too so its good timing”
ure freaking out a little bc maybe hes going to tell u abt his own s/o now tht uve told him abt ur date and u can feel ur hands shaking as the connection loads
once ure in ur room, u manage to make out his tired (but still glowing) features on ur phone screen
u greet each other with half-stilted questions, and u cant help but wonder why ure both so awkward w each other
i mean. obv u know why u are
but ure like ? why is HE acting so weird
and after a few more moments of tense silence, u finally ask him what he wanted to talk abt
somehow even thru the phone screen u can see his face turn bright red
and u would think abt how cute it was if u werent also thinking tht u mustve been right, hes dating someone else, and u can feel ur eyes start to well up w tears bc uve always known tht he didnt like u back, but this time its so painfully obvious
thts when he clears his throat like “um,, y/n,,,, we’ve known each other for awhile and i kno ure kinda young but,,,,,,”
and somehow he hasnt noticed tht ure having a mental breakdown as he gets closer and closer to saying what he wanted to tell u
“anyways y/n,,, i rlly like u so please dont go out w that guy again and mb go out w me instead??”
which. WHAT
ure literally shellshocked and hes trying to explain on the other end like “i mean u dont have to if u dont want to i just wanted to tell u and-”
its honestly precious tbh
u barely manage to cut him off but ure still a mess of emotions so u cant rlly talk properly
ure pretty sure tht u end up saying the equivalent of a keyboard smash,,,
he quiets down tho, and as ure trying to figure out want u want to say, he just looks at u w this rlly cute earnest expression and ur heart MELTS
eventually u manage to choke out tht u like him and now its his turn to get surprised
“WAIT ARE U SERIOUS”
he whisper-screams the whole thing, bc he doesnt want to actually scream and hurt ur ears but hes still freaking out and cant contain everything hes feeling
all u can do is nod and grin into ur hands and hes like “uGH now i wish i could tell u in person” but hes acting all soft and shy and tbh u dont think either of u could handle it if u were in the same room right now
still
ure both blushing and giggling and u feel so so relieved its kinda embarrassing
but he manages to cough out tht he’s rlly rlly happy tht u like him too, and “lets meet up soon? please?”
and who are u to deny him smthn like tht
(esp when uve been dreaming abt going on a date w him since forever ago)
eventually u have to end the call
but u both go to sleep that night with ur phones nearby, smiling even as u drift off to sleep
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trqnsboy-moved-blog · 7 years
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alright so like one person liked it but im still gonna complain openly, this is gonna be rlly long cause i gotta put all that context
so i was sick for like a week and a half, and during that time i missed an entire essay in my english class, and the solutions my teachers came up w was “do it at lunch” i asked if i could take it home, they said no.i am barely surviving school as it is, i need time w my friends so i dont dissociate, and i need all that time bc i cant even get through the day now. 
so i havent come in for lunch to work on it, and ive been lowkey anxious (ty anxiety meds) abt this essay since not doing it will drop my grade. 
on monday the teacher brought up the fact that they were grading the essays, then she took us to her dance room to do a game thing??? in english?? but anyways, my fried wasnt there, i was in a different setting, and i just wasnt feeling the best that day.
 this one guy was limping when we walked down to the dance room, and the teacher saw and let him sit out to the side and do nothing but listen the entire time. so we get into the room and she tells us all to go into pairs and i shuffle off to the back cause i Did Not Feel good, and the teacher called my (kinda) name and said she had a partner for me and i said i was good (this teacher knows i have anxiety) and she was rlly confused. she went to go get the door and when she passed me she asked what was happening, and i said i couldnt do the activity bc of my anxiety.
but instead of letting me sit off to the side like the guy w the hurt leg (who basically sleeps in class) she made me (the one who puts his hand up for almost every question) write a summary of the thing we working on.
so i did it, cause of course i did, and when class ended i handed it in, and i tried to ask her if i could take it home, but i was stressed from the situation and it just came up all jumbled, and the teacher looked at me as if i was crazy and said no, and told me to ask my other teacher.
so like, that freaked me out,so i decided i would go talk to a guidance counselor for help, and i did. he sent an email to the teachers and told me to check back in two days later, so a day passes and its today (thursday) and my guidance counselor finds me during art and tells me to meet him at lunch to talk to my teachers.
so lunch comes and we go to the room and im kinda nervous, then one teacher comes and she sits besides the guidance counselor, which makes me kinda unsettled, but the chair was there. and she asks me to start the conversation ans i say smthg like, “uhh i just kinda wanted to take my essay home, i know that if i could take it home i could do it in a night, but when i asked u i felt kinda crazy” and then the teacher told me that u cant just judge other ppls emotions and all that stuff thats been told to me a million times, i have anxiety sharon, i cant help it.
the other teacher comes, and she sits on the other side of the guidance counselor, and i feel way more uncomfortable, bc now in basically surrounded by them. and the other teacher comes and she tells me what wonderful work ive been doing, and she started to talk abt my anxiety, but in that way that teachers talk abt things they r teaching. “who told me that u had anxiety?...” “uhh, me?” “yes thats right” and she just talked abt that, then the other teacher jumped in and they started talking about the real problem
so she says “we arent mind readers, we cant tell whats going on in ur brain, u have to tell us.” i have told u brenda, ive asked both of u twice now. “and u didnt come and see us for a week after we offered time, then suddenly i bring up that we r marking essays and u want to do it” 1st its called i have memory problems linda, 2ndly ???? i didnt bring this up bc u mntioned it?? i dont even remember u bringing it up???
and throughout this my guidance counselor is quietly nodding along, and when the teachers go on long tangents, i dissociate. 
they finely get to the real point which was basically, “we cant let u take the essay home, its school board policy” which??? they idnt need a meeting to say??? they couldve talked to me in class or send an email back??? instead of this?? 
so i can feel myself wanting to cry, but i hold it in, and one of the teachers leave and im just kinda left with the others. they basically say that i have to come in during lunch to do it (the guidance counselor agrees w the teacher here, even though he fully knows i cant) and that i just come in for half of lunch. 
these teachers wanted me. to do,that.today. my teacher says “u can go out and eat w ur friends, destress, then come back so u can do work. i need to destress too.” she compared, my needs to be healthy in this school, as similar to her, nbeing less stressed at work,the kid who has severe anxiety.
she goes “is that ok?” and i take a deep breath and go “tbh, im rlly, rlly, rlly, rlly stressed right now” she asks me “why” and i tell her “because of this?” and the guidance conselour like, jumps into the convo and says something and i go “i think im gonna go home” and they ask,how, and i tell them im gonna text my gran and this fuckin guidance counsellour tells me “what abt ur friends?” and i say ill text the, he tries to convince me to stay and i say “im good.” bite my cheek to hold back my fucking tears and walk to the fucking door
so i start kind of crying there, and i text my gran to pick me up, i play some music o try and calm me down, and i tell my friend hat imgoing home, and wile im tryin to get this fucking message to send, the guidance counselour comes up and lenas againsr the door?? and?? doesnt say anytjhing??? so i start freaking out and i try to text my friend to come but the fucking message wont sendand he fucking calls my name an says “guess that didnt work” and i like nod and look weirdly at him, then he goes “could u come see me in my office?” and i say yeah, and then he goes “are u going home?” and i say yes agan, and he fuckind he fuckin asks if he can help.
no thanks, ive had enough of ur “help” teach
anyways he left and i had an awful day :^)
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wannasoftimagine · 7 years
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imagine park woojin as your classmate
project partners to dating partners :’)
(( AS REQUESTED // omg since ure a woojin stan can i get a request where y/n and woojin study in the same course after his wanna one activities (before he debuts in brand new music) and got closer after a project andddd you can write whatever after that LMAO :^) THANK YOU ))
okay so ure a fan of wanna one
who isnt tbh
and lucky u bc it turns out tht ure going to college w the one and only park woojin!!!!!!! (srsly tho what r the chances)
u forgot tht woojins age is kinda similar to urs bc he always acts like a tough guy on stage or a little kid off stage and u forget that hes a student like u
anyways
its a little weird to get used to seeing him in person after all the pictures n videos uve seen of him online
like?? hes a Real Person??? what a wild idea
and even tho ure both in the same college course, u try to keep ur distance
as much as ud like to befriend him, hes still an idol (even tho he hasnt debuted w brand new yet) and its rlly hard for u to start up a conversation w someone famous
also ure lowkey worried tht its going to ruin how much u admire him, and that actually talking to him will destroy how highly u view him
little do u kno hes seen u around campus before n thinks ure pretty cute
;))
okay but anyways
u make sure to stay out of his way bc the last thing u want is to bother him by asking for a signature or picture or smthn
u try and keep a minimum of like 10 yds between u at all times
(bc itd be even more embarrassing if u tripped right in front of him and that was the first thing he noticed abt u)
but lucky for u, life doesnt care what u have planned
bc its only a month into the semester and u already have a huge project assigned
of course, it’s a partner project
it might be okay if u were able to choose ur partners, but ur teacher insisted on trying to help everyone “bond w their classmates” so its all completely random
unfortunately for u, u get sick the day that ur teacher assigns partners
so u have no idea who ure paired up with
ure stuck asking some of ur classmates, but none of them rlly remember
everyone was a bit busy stressing out over their own partners tbh
and u keep asking around a bit, but u only know so many ppl in the class so eventually u kinda give up and hope ur partner isnt too bad
u settle on focusing on ur other classes, studying for future exams and reviewing ur notes in the library
even tho ure not sick anymore, u still feel a bit drowsy from all of the different medications u took and all of the work u were trying to catch up on
so. all excuses aside u fall asleep
prob not the best plan esp since some of ur things are balancing on the edge of ur desk
but the heart wants what the heart wants, and it rlly wants to sleep
ure having a rlly weird dream abt pirate monkeys when ure jolted awake by someone bumping into ur side
u look up to see someone sprinting away from u and like okay. thts a little weird
u try not to think abt it too much bc ure still kinda sleepy
so u settle on gathering ur things so u can head back to ur dorm and decide whether or not u want to study, sleep more, or find something to eat
as u collect everything, u notice a little post it note that hadnt been there before
in messy handwriting, it says “i didnt want to wake u but im ur partner for the partner project. im woojin and u can text me at [xxx-xxx-xxxx] whenever u want to meet up i hope u sleep well”
u realize that ur partner is prob the one u saw sprinting away from u earlier after he accidentally bumped into u lol
somehow u momentarily forget that ur partner is THE park woojin and ure like aw cool this woojin guy seems nice
then ure like WAIT A SECOND
ure highkey in shock and keep pinching urself to make sure its real
so u end up taking the rest of ur stuff back to ur room and wondering how u should text him
eventually u decide on a simple greeting and ur name, and u ask him when hes free
u have to send the text and then throw ur phone onto the floor bc U JUST TEXTED PARK WOOJIN ABT MEETING IN PERSON. GOD BLESS
ure suddenly super grateful abt every decision tht led u to this moment
anyways
ur phone buzzes on the floor so u scramble to pick it up
only to realize tht its a text from ur mom asking how ure doing
u text her back and tell her not to worry, then attempt to clean ur room a little instead of waiting for woojin to text u back
u just finish reorganizing ur closet when he texts u
its a quick text, smthn along the lines of “im free tmrw afternoon, do u want to meet by the cafeteria” so u agree quickly and hope u dont seem too desperate
and u KNOW its not a date
u guys havent even spoken to each other before so???
but ure still rlly nervous bc its WOOJIN and u want to impress him, even if ure just going to spend most of ur time talking abt boring coursework
u both settle on a time to meet and u pretend not to freak out
anyways skip to the next afternoon
u get there a bit early but ?? hes there already ??? ldsjks
and he looks Really Cute like hes wearing a sweater and ripped jeans and looking like complete boyfriend material wow ure p sure u can feel ur heart stop in ur chest
hes a bit awkward but uve heard abt how shy he is so u try not to take it personally
as soon as he sees u he blurts out tht u look nice and that is not helping the way tht this feels like a date
u guys end up moving to a bench in the shade bc its rlly nice out and this way ure able to talk freely without worrying abt being too loud
he explains the project a little, and u guys go back and forth offering up ideas
he always nods super enthusiastically whenever u suggest smthn and its honestly the cutest thing uve ever seen
its so weird for u to remember that this is the same guy uve seen videos of online bc what the heck
anyways
neither of u are extreme geniuses in the class, but ure both still pretty smart
ure pleased to find tht u guys complement each other well, w different areas of interest inside the same field
it helps ur project run a lot smoother than u thought it would, so u guys split up the work and agree to do as much as u can before u meet up again
ur conversations are still a bit stilted bc ure both still shy w each other, but overall u seem to get along well so ure happy
u text each other every once in awhile to talk abt the project or ask questions
u meet up a few more times in the next couple weeks but its all work and no business
still, over time u find urselves joking around with each other a little more, teasing each other and talking abt urselves instead of the project
of course, all things must come to an end
so all too soon, the day u submit the final project arrives
and ure a little worried tht woojin is going to disappear from ur life again
bc maybe he’s only been this nice to u bc hes just a sweet guy, but as soon as the project ends he wont care abt talking to u anymore
after all, its not like u guys meet up for meals or to hang out that often - even when ure just relaxing w each other, theres always some part of ur convo tht centers around the class
so as ure freaking out over this
he texts u asking if u want to come over to his dorm while he submits it
and mb u guys can just hang out afterwards?
obviously u agree and u cant stop smiling
when u show up at his dorm, hes wearing sweatpants and a tshirt and he looks adorable as heck when he invites u in
u guys sit on his bed as he loads all the stuff on his laptop and u try not to be hyperaware of the space between u two
woojins also screaming internally but somehow u dont notice the way he keeps staring at u out of the corner of his eye
u click the “submit” button together and HIS HANDS ARE SO GENTLE also theyre shaking a little???? huh
u assume its just bc hes Extra Nervous for the project but honestly? no hes just never been this close to u and hes freaking out
but anyways
u decide to go out to eat off campus afterwards to celebrate being done
a lot of the places have long waits or are too expensive so u just eat at a chikfila
its rlly casual but its fun and u guys argue abt whether chicken nuggets or chicken sandwiches r better and u cant help but think abt how much fun ure having w hiim
u end up blurting it out to him on accident and ure v v embarrassed
but he laughs and admits tht he rlly likes spending time w u too
so u promise each other to keep hanging out afterwards
it gets to the point where weeks later, ure still texting each other to complain abt classes or ask abt the other persons day
it still feels like a dream tbh
but u guys enjoy each others company whenever u can
most of the time u end up meeting each other at the cafeteria or studying together in the library, but u both just rlly like spending time w the other person
this routine continues for awhile and its prob the best part of ur life
but at one point ure trying to sneak up on woojin and surprise him when u see him talking to himself
as u creep forward, u realize tht hes actually on the phone, and he looks kinda stressed
it feels a bit invasive so ure looking around trying to find a place to go while he finishes up his phone call
but then u hear him say ur name so. consider u INTERESTED
and he keeps getting flustered and shutting down anything tht the other person says which is weird bc hes p shy, but hes never usually tht adamant and blushy abt something
eventually he tucks his phone away and lets out a Huge sigh so ure like,, hey u good
and he laughs it off but u can tell hes a little antsy, so u decide to tell him tht u overheard a little bit of him on the phone, and u ask him what it was about
he literally turns into a tomato its so funny u wish u had recorded it
but hes like “HOW MUCH DID U HEAR”
even tho u tell him u didnt hear much, he refuses to believe u and he spends the next few minutes pouting
u keep trying to get him to talk to u normally, but he refuses
finally he ends up grumbling smthn and ure like ???
and after a few half hearted efforts to repeat himself hes like “just tell me u dont like me back”
and. WHAT.
he pouts again and its so sos sosososoos o so cute u think ure going to combust honestly
“i kno u heard me tell him tht i like u!!!! just tell me u dont feel the same and leave me alone to cry”
and u have to reassure him tht u definitely didnt hear that BUT ALSO what???
n hes literally mortified when he realizes ure serious
but he has this rlly cute determined expression like “ok well now u kno i like u!!!!! y/n, please go out w me???”
n its like OF COURSE and u tell him tht u like him too and he keeps smiling and acting shy
honestly u both just make each other super happy
when u start dating, its not too diff from when u were friends, except now ure more affectionate w each other
both physically and with ur words
he loves hyping u up, and u feel the same
esp when he starts practicing more to debut w the rest of the bnm boys
u support the heck out of each other and can always count on the other person to be there for u when u need it the most
honestly its super soft and ure totally proud to be a lowkey campus couple even tho u have to keep ur relationship on the down low bc of dispatch
still u both care for each other a lot and u wouldnt trade what u have for the world
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