#like when dean went back in time she was cooking with john?

[lonewolf638]

we've seen her cook b4 tho? 😭😭

[zepskies]

Smoke Eater - Epilogue

Pairing: Firefighter!Dean Winchester x F. Reader 

Summary: Dean Winchester is the cocky, but well-respected Lieutenant at Firehouse 25. He leads by example, but he’s also known to break a few hearts. He’s starting to crave something he’s never had, though. Something stable. Something real. 

That’s when he meets you, on a truly terrible day, trapped in a rickety old elevator.

🔥 Series Masterlist

AN: We made it, friends. 🥹

Word Count: 2,800 Tags/Warnings: Fluff and feels, that is all.

Epilogue: “Easy as Pie”

The week after the incident at Stull Storage, John, Sam, Dean, and Eileen sat down to a family dinner that you cooked in the brothers’ apartment. Aside from Eileen, all of you had injuries in one form or another (but even Sam’s shiner was healing up nicely). 

For dessert, you were a bit nervous as you brought out a freshly baked apple pie. Dean caught you mentally bracing yourself before you set it down on the table. He shot you a reassuring smile.

“Looks great,” he said.

Your returning smile was tentative as you divvied out the first piece. Dean was just a bit disappointed when you handed it to John. His eyes followed the plate.

You smiled more genuinely, and made sure the next generous piece you cut was for your boyfriend.

After everyone was served, you sat down with your own plate and encouraged them all to dig in. Forks hit the crumbly top and cinnamon apple filling, and there were collective hums of pleasure throughout the room.

You brightened and glanced over at the rest of the table. John looked contemplative. His fork rested on the plate for a moment.

He gave a rare smile. “That’s some damn good pie.” 

Sam nodded. “For sure.”

Dean looked over at you after he’d already demolished half of his serving. A smile spread across his face.

“Best slice of pie since I can remember,” he said, giving you a wink.

Both of you knew the weight of that review. It humbled you, making you blush.

You smiled and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek, rough with stubble.

“I guess this recipe’s a keeper then,” you said.

He hummed in agreement. When he went in for a real kiss, it was sweet indeed.

From then on, you all spent the evening talking, eating, laughing, with you and Sam drinking wine and everyone else their beer. You updated them on Andréa and Benny, who were planning their trip to Greece in a few months.

"We should take a vacation," Dean pointed out, gesturing around the table. "All of us."

Sam raised his brows at his brother. "Oh yeah? Where would you wanna go?"

Dean thought about it for a moment. He glanced at you, and found you smiling.

"The beach," he said. "Somewhere warm and chill, with those fancy little umbrellas in your drink."

"Hmm...I like that," you said, as your smile grew. Tropical, relaxing, a warm sun on your face, and your boyfriend in some board shorts. You could definitely go for some of that.

"Sounds nice," Eileen agreed.

"I'll look into some destinations," Sam nodded. Dean nudged his brother's shoulder.

"One word, dude. Maui."

Sam snorted. "We can't afford Maui."

"Hey, you never know, man! Time to check out some Groupons."

"You can't get a Groupon to go to Hawaii," Sam said. His face was scrunched in what Dean liked to call, his "Know It All" face.

"Are you kidding me?" Dean shot back. "There's a friggin' Groupon for everything nowadays!"

Of course, that devolved into a familiar sibling argument that was only disrupted when John broke into the conversation. He admitted something shocking—that he was taking some time off work, for the first time since he took his sons camping when they were kids. Sam and Dean teased the workaholic for finally "slowing down" in his old age, but it was all in good fun.

You and Eileen shared a knowing look. It all felt as close to family as you’d had in a long time.

And for Dean, it felt like he could breathe again. He’d gotten a text shortly after dessert—from Cas.

Jo made it into the Police Academy. She starts training in a few weeks.

Dean’s lips quirked with a smile.

How do you know?

I’ll be instructing a couple of her classes. Firearm Safety and Weapons Training.

Dean nearly laughed.

Good luck, buddy. Try not to get your ass shot.

To which Cas replied:

My ass will be nowhere within range, I assure you.

Dean did chuckle at that. When you turned to him and asked what was so funny, he just shook his head and grabbed onto your hand on the table.

“Nothin’. I’m good,” he said. He pressed your knuckles to his lips. “I’m real good.”

You smiled at that.

Later that night, Dean walked his father to the door while you and Sam were locked in a trivia game, and Eileen tried to play mediator between two very competitive nerds.  

“Dad,” Dean said.

John stopped with a hand on the door, turning back to his eldest.

Dean paused to gather his thoughts, but he eventually grasped his father’s arm and met his gaze.

“Just wanted to say thank you, for what you did for her,” he said, discreetly nodding at you. He kept his voice quiet. “You protected her when I couldn’t.”

John paused, seeming surprised. His brows furrowed as he shook his head.

“You don’t need to thank me for that, son,” he said.

“Yeah, I do,” Dean insisted. He’d heard every bit of that conversation between John and Daniel in that warehouse. His father had been willing to lay down and die for you, not a moment’s hesitation.

Cas was right, Dean had realized. His father did have a line.

John let out a breath. “What matters is we made it here.”

Dean nodded, though he dimmed.

“Yeah, came with one hell of a price tag.”

It still weighed heavily on him, what he’d had to do to end Daniel Savage. In the end, John had lied on his statement of the events. He’d taken responsibility for grabbing Daniel’s gun and shooting him between the eyes.

“It’s the only thing I can do to keep you out of this,” John had told his son. “Should’ve been my hand anyway.”

Dean appreciated what his dad had done to protect him from the law, and his career, but it still made him feel dirty. A strike to his integrity as a first responder, and as a man. That was something he’d just have to deal with, along with everything else.

John distracted him, however, by gripping his shoulder this time.

“You saved my life, Dean,” he said. And with a hint of a smile, “It’s what you’re good at.”

Dean met his dad’s gaze. He wasn’t quite able to smile back, but there was new warmth in his chest.

“Oh,” said John, raising a finger. “Before I forget…”

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a silver engagement ring with a small stone. To Dean, it looked familiar…

When it finally struck him what this was, he looked up at John in surprise. Dean glanced back to make sure you weren’t looking before he tentatively took the ring.

“Is this…Mom’s?” he asked.

John nodded. “The stone’s nothing special. You might wanna get it reset. Sam already figured out his uh…situation on his own. Maybe you want to find your own too.”

Dean knew what he meant. Sam had bought a ring last year, but he'd proposed to Eileen just a few days ago. They were already planning to get married a year from now, along with buying their first house together.

Dean examined the ring he held with a softer smile.

“Nah, it’s perfect,” he said.

He didn’t know yet if you two were ready for that step. A lot had happened in such a short amount of time…but he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

He had time to do things right with you.

A few months later, Dean’s medical leave ended. He was physician-approved for duty, psych evaluation and all. He showed up for his shift bright and early.

He entered the doors of Firehouse 25 to a host of his friends and makeshift family cheering, complete with cheesy streamers and an even cheesier cake that Meg held. On the top was scrawled: Good Job Cracking Your Head.

“A smoke eater returns to the house!” Benny remarked with a grin. “Good to see ya, brother.”

He clapped Dean heavily enough on the back that it earned a grunt and a laugh out of him.

“You too, man,” Dean replied.

Meg set down the cake on the table and was the next one to playfully punch him in the shoulder.

“You have a nice little vacation?” she teased.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah, complete with bottomless margaritas and little umbrellas.”

She smirked, but she was still earnest when she touched his arm.

“Welcome back.”

Dean chuckled. “Ooh, now I know you missed me.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes as she waved a dismissive hand at him. Chuck and Jack gave more sincere well wishes, with the latter actually hugging Dean. He’d tolerated it with a smile.

Gordon clapped him on the shoulder once Jack was finally done, and Dean sent the Candidate off with a bright smile on his face.

Gordon smiled. “Welcome back, Lieutenant.”

Dean nodded and shook the other man’s hand. “Thanks for holdin’ down the fort, man.”

“No problem,” Gordon said. “Any time you wanna go on sabbatical, you just let me know. Acting Lieutenant’s almost better than the real deal. It’s not as much paperwork.”

Dean chuckled, but before he could sling back a retort, the alarm went off. There was a working house fire downtown, according to the dispatcher in the overhead speaker.

Bobby appeared in the hall and clapped his hands once.

“All right, gear up. We’re startin’ off the day right,” he said. He gave Dean a look that was somehow both pleased to see him and stern at the same time. Bobby addressed him with a point of his finger.

“See me in my office before the end of shift,” he said. “We’ve got somethin’ to talk about.”

A few days later, Dean had the rare pleasure of welcoming you home from work on his day off. You trudged into the apartment with several bags and rolling a cooler behind you. He got up from the couch and grabbed some of the bags for you on your way to the kitchen.

“How did it go?” he asked, reaching out a hand to rub some flour off your cheek. You smiled brightly.

“Well, there was a little snafu with the mini quiche, but they loved the menu I proposed. They want me to cater the whole wedding!” you said.

“Whoa, that’s a lotta food,” Dean remarked. Once you’d dumped the rest of your stuff on the kitchen table, he slid an arm around your waist and brought you flush against him, earning a squeal from you.

You clung to his shoulders. “You still on for being my official taste tester?”

He stared at you with mock offense.

“Uh, obviously. Mini quiche are my weakness,” he teased. “Just another form of pie, far as I’m concerned.”

You giggled into his lips as he claimed you for a kiss. It was both sweet, and a bit naughty as his hands moved to squeeze your ass. His words were no less heartfelt.

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart,” Dean said. “I really am.”

 You smiled and stroked his cheek in answer.

The Monday morning after that family dinner a few months ago, you’d quit your job at Savage & Co. After a month of wracking your brain and your savings, you decided to start your own catering business.

It was your way of starting small, to try and get people in this town to know you for your food and baked goods. And maybe, if you were successful enough, you’d be able to open up your own bakery in a couple of years.

For once, you were going after what you truly wanted…but now, your career was only part of it.

You hadn’t forgotten your conversation with Dean about what he wanted for his future: of getting married someday, and having a family. Something he could build for himself. 

Not only did you want that for him, but you’d begun to crave that for yourself as well: a family of your own.

Realistically, you knew that part was years away for you and Dean. However, you had that in the back of your mind. Having your own business had always been your dream, but sometimes your dream could adjust. 

Or, it could become something new.

You’d also sold your grandparents’ house. You had contemplated going back, but you didn’t want to be reminded of how the police and the Arson Department had torn it apart after Daniel Savage threatened your life. You didn’t want to be reminded of where both of your grandparents died.

You loved that house, but you also knew it was time to let it go…

Because you finally understood what your grandfather had tried to tell you months ago.

A house did not make a home. And now, you’d managed to make a new one.

For his part, Dean had been happy to have you stay in his apartment. Sam was getting ready to move out in a few months anyway, as he and Eileen were deep into house hunting and planning their wedding.

“So…I’ve gotta tell you something,” said Dean, after he parted from your lips for a moment, and allowed you to breathe. His tone made you tilt your head in suspicion.

“It’s nothing bad,” he said, though he looked a bit nervous.

Your brows furrowed. You led him to the couch, where he held your hands in his. It took him a moment to get started. He seemed stuck on what he wanted to say, or maybe just how he wanted to say it.

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can handle it,” you teased.

Dean gave you a smile. His shoulders relaxed a little.

“They want to promote me to Captain,” he said.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes went wide.

“They? Who’s they?” you asked.

Dean blew out a breath and scratched at the small scar on the side of his head.

“Apparently it came from the Battalion Chief.”

He explained that the Fire Department had gotten the full debrief from both Sam and John about Dean’s involvement in ending the serial arsons and murders committed by Nick and Daniel Savage. Without you and Dean, they wouldn’t have figured out Azazel’s identity, let alone stopped his criminal enterprise.

You smiled wide with excitement as you held Dean’s face in your hands.

“That’s amazing!” you said. You pulled him in for a hug. Though he held you back, you soon realized that you were happier than he seemed to be. You pulled back and carded your fingers through his hair, earning his gaze.

“What’s wrong, baby? This is great news!”

Dean’s lips pursed. “I don’t know. I broke ranks and defied a direct order at the Savage & Co. fire. And at the warehouse, I was even more reckless. I don’t want to be promoted for disobeying orders.”

You frowned at that, even as you continued to stroke through his hair.

“What did Bobby tell you?” you asked.

Once again, Dean sighed. He’d been called into Bobby’s office a few days ago, after his first shift back at 25.

He’d surprised the hell out of Dean.

“Did you break ranks that day, and put not just yourself, but Benny and the rest of your men in danger?” Bobby said. “You bet your ass.”

Dean averted his gaze. He stood with his hands drawn behind his back, willing to take whatever punishment the Chief saw fit.

“But,” Bobby continued. His fingers tapped on his desk, where he sat on the edge across from Dean. “It wasn’t fair of me to stop you from lookin’ for your girlfriend.”

Dean’s attention sharpened at that, and he frowned in confusion. Bobby didn’t apologize. Ever.

“Sir?” Dean asked uncertainly.

Bobby softened the slightest bit. He heaved a sigh.

The man was a widower, but he still wore his wedding ring. He toyed with it now on his finger.

“We could’ve radioed in with the other teams already at work. I could’ve paired half of your team with the top floor units. But in the heat of the moment, I made a judgment call,” Bobby said, leveling Dean with a look. “As a leader, you’ll continue makin’ mistakes. You’ll make the wrong call. It’s how you learn to keep leading that matters. And there ain’t a person in this house that wouldn’t have gone up to pull your fool head outta that fire.”

Dean stayed quiet in his discomfort. He still wasn’t entirely sure why Bobby was telling him all of this.

“That being said, this is coming from the top,” Bobby said. His gruffness was back. He took a folder off his desk and handed it to Dean. “Here’s the next step, if you choose to accept it.”

You were crying by the end of his story. Dean cupped your cheek and caught your tears with his thumb. You grabbed that hand and gently squeezed.

“He believes in you, Dean,” you said. “So do I. And it’s my turn to be so damn proud of you.”

Dean graced you with a smile for that one. Yours brightened. You moved off the couch and slid into his lap, twining your arms around his neck. Dean welcomed you with an arm around your waist and a hand sliding up your jean-clad thigh.

“Guess I’m gonna have to get used to calling you Captain,” you said with a smirk.

Captain Winchester, Dean considered, rolling the weight of it around in his mind.

He chuckled. “Okay, maybe I'm liking the sound of that.”

“Mhmm, that’s what I thought,” you said, shortly before you pressed your lips to his. He squeezed your hip while your deft fingers once again slipped into his hair. With each new kiss, Dean felt more of his uncertainty melt away.

A new thought occurred to him then. It made him start to grin against your lips, and you parted from him.

“What?” you asked in amusement.

Dean slipped a hand into his pocket, where he felt the outline of his mother’s newly resized ring.

“Hey,” he said. Your brows drew together in suspicion at the gleam in his eye. 

“Hey, yourself,” you quipped. 

Dean breathed in deep, steeling himself. He looked into your eyes, and he smiled. 

“I’ve got a question for you.”

AN: ...And I think we all know what her answer was. ❤️‍🔥

I can't believe it! I started posting this story on September 15, the beginning of Hispanic Heritage Month. Almost four months later, we finally made it to the end of Smoke Eater. 🥹

Thank you to all of you who've been following along at any point of the journey. Your comments and feedback have truly touched me, and have helped keep me going! 💕

Read the Sequel Story:

Ready for more Smoke Eater?

Here's Something Real:

Summary: Now that you and Dean are officially engaged, you take some much needed time off together for a family vacation. But even with the wedding set for next year, the two of you are still at odds when it comes to one key part of your future together…

▶️ Keep Reading: Something Real

Dean Winchester Masterlist

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[jasmines-library]

I’m in love with the angst. Can you do a sister Winchester story where she’s at dinner with John and the boys and she starts choking

Knock it off

Note: Sorry this took me so long to get to! I wasn't 100% sure what direction to take this in so it's a little short i'm sorry, but I hope it's okay.

warnings: Choking. J*hn Winchester (yes he is a warning)

Word count: 1k

⛤ SPN MASTERLIST ⛤

It was an unusual occurrence for the four of you to be in one room at the same time, let alone sat crowded around a dinner table eating something other than diner food or one of those ready made meals that were convenient, but tasted like cardboard and had an aftertaste that stuck around for far too long, But nevertheless, there you were. You were crammed in between your brothers, your knees rubbed up against theirs and your elbows occasionally bumped into each other as you took forkfuls of food. 

There was an unmeasurable grin plastered across your face, reaching from one ear to the next. And there was one on your dad’s too. He was treasuring the moment, you were sure. The way his body relaxed into the wooden chair told you that much. With time left over after a hunt that went unusually well, he had decided to cook something so, a quick pit-stop and a few hours later, he had managed to produce a steaming tray of burgers from the motel’s half functioning grill, and whilst it was far from gourmet, and wasn't going to make up for his countless mistakes and poor parenting, or win him any ‘father of the year awards’, it was a gentle step in the right direction.

The sound of the tv playing listlessly in the background was drowned out almost completely by the chatter as you shared stories and memories, laughing at the few treasured moments that the four of you had shared. 

You were about halfway through the meal when it happened; suddenly your body was completely deprived of air. You began to work up a coughing fit, spluttering and cutting out the chatter completely as everyone turned to look at you. 

Dean deepened the creases between his eyes. “You okay there sweetheart?”

You nodded, trying to dismiss him with a thumbs up, but whatever was cutting off your airway wouldn't budge. Gasping for breath, you pushed your chair away from the table clutching at your chest. Your brothers were up in a flash frantically patting you on the back. It felt like hours before the offending piece budged and you took in air selfishly. 

A few rouge tears trailed down your face as Sam led you over to the edge of the bed, setting you down gently. He rubbed his hands soothingly up and down your arms as you hyperventilated, now taking in too much air with the thought of running out again persistent in your mind. 

“Deep breaths, Kiddo. Deep breaths.” He crouched down in front of you, taking your small hands in his and pressing a gentle kiss to them. 

You followed his breathing, inhaling deeply, then holding it, savouring it and then exhaling back out again, until finally your body remembered somewhat how it was supposed to function and your breathing steadied. 

Your dad came over hesitantly with a glass of cool water clutched gently in his hands. It was strange that even with all of his years hunting monsters, he still didn’t know how to act around his children when they were in distress. Fear gripped him tightly like a glove, taking over all of his control over his body. So, it took him a few moments to process what was happening before he actually made a move towards you. 

“You alright?” He queried as you took gentle sips of water, under the watchful eyes of your older brother, Dean. 

You nodded. “Yeah…”

Dean ran his hands over his face and let out a sigh. “Jesus, sweetheart. You scared the crap out of us.”

“Sorry…” You shrugged, pushing your shoulders up to your ears.

Sammy shook his head, tossing his hair around his face. “It was an accident.”

“Just remember to chew your food next time.” Dean quipped. He was always one to make a joke out of a serious situation to lighten the mood. He couldn’t stand the tension, it made him nauseous. 

‘

You rolled your eyes and slapped him playfully on the chest. “Not cool.”

He turned his head. “You know I am.”

“Dude.” Sam said, giving his older brother a look. “Shut up.”

“What?! I am!”

He sighed. “If you say so.”

You just chuckled at their antics, glad that your incident didn’t ruin the tender moment between your family. You would always treasure little moments like these, with your brothers being your brothers, even if it meant spending time hauled up in a motel listening to the pair of them bicker. It was a reminder that sometimes, the three of you could be normal if only just for a precious moment.

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[hauntedwitch04]

Little piece of paradise

Dean Winchester x reader

Words: about 1.2k words

Warnings: none, just some sad-happy memories, and a lot of fluff

Author’s note: Hi everybody! Finally I managed to write something after the crazy week I had, hope you enjoy! With love your witch Becky.

Requests are open I Ask

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🎃Halloween party 🎃

DAY 5: “I don’t need paradise, mine is right here with you, cooking a pie while you dance and sing an old rock song, dreaming about our future”

Dean Winchester always firmly believed that he did not deserve heaven. Not even after all the years he spent fighting evil, defending humanity and all the hell he went through, he always believed that he did not deserve any form of grace. Everything changed, however, the day he met you. You were always like an angel, or rather how he imagined angels before he found out they were a bunch of assholes, except for Castiel. You've always been like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day to the oldest of the Winchester brothers, not because you were exactly a saint, since on the contrary, you too are a renowned hunter, known for your prowess in beating and killing all monsters you encounter. No, your greatness lies in the fact, according to Dean, that despite all the nastiness you have suffered from fate and all the monsters you have encountered, you never betrayed yourself and remained who you were: a good and kind person, ready to help others, and always ready to offer a smile when she can, but without letting people take advantage of you. Dean knows that he could go on for hours talking about all the things he likes best about you: your taste in music, which first brought you together in that remote bar in the provinces; your intelligence, which never failed to amaze him every time; your sarcasm, which made sure from the start that you stood up to him and put him in his place several times; or your goodness, which comes out every time you see someone in need, but if anyone were to really ask him what he loves about you, it's seeing you cook. We all know that Dean has a sweet tooth, but what drives him crazy is not your cakes per se despite the fact that they are some of the best he has ever had, but seeing you actually bake them. When you bake you enter a world of your own, and you can finally be free from the oppressive life that has been foisted on you from upstairs. This is precisely why Dean likes to hide behind the door and watch you dance to the beat of the music, humming, while you are caught up in preparing just-god-knows-what.

As soon as Dean walks in, he realizes that all he could hear in your house was the sound of your voice humming Elton John's "Rocket Man," and immediately a smile breaks out on his face. He walks to the kitchen door and sees you pouring something into a saucepan on the stove as you dance lightly to the music. The man remains a few minutes contemplating that sight, when he is interrupted. "Are you going to stay there much longer, or are you going to come and greet your wife properly, instead of staring at her like a maniac?" You ask, still with your back turned, but he knows perfectly well that you had heard him since he entered the house. He smiles and enters the kitchen, to come behind you and embrace you from behind with his strong arms. He rests his face on your shoulder and breathes in the smell of your shampoo, his favorite scent in the world. "Hello love." He says, in a low voice, as if not wanting to spoil the magical atmosphere that had formed. "It took you a while to get in Winchester, I thought you had frozen at the door." You answer with a smile as you continue to finish what you were doing. "You can't blame me for being thunderstruck by my wife's beauty." He continues, leaving you a gentle kiss on your shoulder, then leaning in a little and looking at what you were doing. "There's no need to soften me up, you know that, don't you? I've already married you, I can't escape now." You say with a laugh as you contemplate your work. "Already now you are officially mine, and mine alone." He whispers into your neck as he tightens his arms around your waist. "But listen to you, you sound like an overly possessive child with his favorite toy." You retort, turning around, making sure you are face to face with him. Immediately you feel his scent, which you love so much, invade your nostrils. "What can I do, I'm possessive of the things I love." He says, before kissing you on the lips this time. "But that's Sam's favorite cake." He then affirms, taking a good look at what you had just finished making. "Yours is already baking in the oven." You answer, making it obvious as you enjoy the feeling of being held in his arms. "Oh what have I done to deserve you?" Dean asks, before kissing you again, this time longer. "Do you want the list in chronological order or alphabetical order?" you retort, looking him in the eye, making him blush. You remain silent for a few minutes, enjoying the feeling of each other's body heat. Time almost seems to stand still, and even the volume of the radio seems to lower.

"You know since I was about eighteen years old, and a woman threatened me that I would never go to heaven for all the evil things I had done, I've always been afraid of dying in part, because a part of me aspired to get to that place full of peace and calm, to finally be happy." Confesses Dean, under his breath, against your neck. You are almost afraid to breathe, for fear of ruining the moment, when he continues to speak. "But ever since I met you, I've realized a great truth. I don't need paradise, mine is right here with you, cooking a pie while you dance and sing an old rock song, dreaming about our future." He finishes with a whisper, and you can't help but feel warm tears roll down your cheeks as you also feel your husband's tears wet your shirt. You pull his face up from your neck and stare into his eyes, then take him with you to the front of the oven, where just moments before the timer had sounded, signaling that the cake is ready. "Open." You tell him, and he looks at you confused, but cannot help but follow orders. Once you pull out the pie, Dean is out of breath as he looks at you shocked, and feels new tears come to his eyes fast and hot, but this time not of mixed sadness and joy, this time just of pure happiness. On the cake in front of him is written above a simple sentence, but that moment totally turned his world upside down. See you in 9 months dad. "How long have you known?" Dean finally manages to say, still reeling from shocks of adrenaline coursing through his body. "Since this morning." You confess. "Are you happy?" You ask him, and he can't help but give a toothy grin, then hug you tightly, lifting you off the floor and spinning you around the kitchen, while you can't help but laugh and cry with joy. "I am the happiest person this earth has ever seen, and it's all because of you." He says, leaving a sweet kiss on your nose and making your foreheads touch. "Finally we can stop dreaming about the future, because we are living it." You say, smiling at him. "Yeah, we're living our little piece of heaven." He confirms, smiling at you in turn.

[aylacavebear]

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 2970

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Childhood Rivalry, Puberty (cause it sucks), Thanksgiving (cause that should always be a warning), crush, thoughts of being cursed or hexed, hint at another ability

----------------------------------------- Chapter 7 - Thanksgiving

The night before Thanksgiving, Bobby had pulled the turkey out of the freezer so it could thaw. The morning of, the adults had woke early, as did Maria. She quickly did her morning chores, getting them done in less than ten minutes so she could join her Uncle in the kitchen. She hadn’t had any more dreams of heaven, angels, or her parents since she had stopped reading that book, so she was finally getting real sleep at night again. That morning she was not only smiling, but she was excited. It wasn’t often she got to help with Thanksgiving dinner or make pies for afterward.

“Morning,” she told all the adults happily, although quietly, not wanting to wake up Dean and Sammy.

“Mornin' munchkin,” her father told her with a soft smile.

“Hey, Uncle Bobby, can we try something different this year?” she asked him, not even trying to hide her excitement.

Bobby looked over at her and raised an eyebrow, “What kind of something different?” he asked curiously.

“Can we cook the turkey upside down in the pan?” she asked, “I saw it on a cooking show one time, and I wanted to try a turkey cooked that way.”

The adults exchanged a look of interest before Bobby chuckled and looked back at her, “Sure. I don’t see why not.”

She practically jumped for joy, but stayed quiet, not wanting to wake the boys. Maria helped the adults in the kitchen, preparing things for the main course for at least an hour before she got busy working on the apple pies, four of them. Not only did she love cooking, but she also loved baking. Maria was thankful for the size of her Uncle’s oven, as it not only fit the turkey but also two pies on the top rack.

When the first two pies finished cooking, the boys woke up, “Something smells amazing,” Dean said sleepily, to which Sammy agreed, “Apple pie,” Dean added almost dreamily.

Something in the way he said it made Maria smile as she put the other two pies in the oven with the turkey. The three adults were sitting at the kitchen table having coffee and making small talk. Today was one day where none of them talked about hunting or the supernatural. It was a day to be thankful for who and what they had in their lives. Maria was setting the cooked pies on cooling racks when Dean and Sammy came into the kitchen. Dean froze as he looked over at her. There was something about how the few rays of the morning sun were filtering in through the kitchen window and playing across her hair while she moved the pies that caught his attention in a way that made him almost hold his breath. The adults glanced over at him, recognizing that look. John and William looked at each other at the same time. John nodded, a silent statement that he’d talk to Dean about keeping his hands to himself, which made William smile in appreciation. 

Maria didn’t even notice the look on Dean’s face, even if she could tell he was in the kitchen. She hummed to herself as she set the timer on the stove for the other two pies, also checking the timer for the turkey, another three hours before they could eat. 

Sammy went over to her and looked at the pies on the counter, “I didn’t know you could bake, Sis,” he said bemused.

“I like watching cooking shows. It’s easy enough to figure out,” she chuckled, “I made enough for everyone, get some breakfast.” “Uh-uh. I’m saving room for turkey,” he said, smiling up at her, “And pie.”

She giggled a little at him, “You’re adorable little brother,” she told him, ruffling his hair up.

He started laughing while trying to push her hand away as he attempted to get away from her. She reached down and tickled his ribs before he got out of her reach, causing the adults to chuckle at the interaction between the two. Dean on the other hand, still hadn’t moved, unable to stop staring at her. The way she smiled and interacted with his younger brother, the rays of sunlight still playing across her face and hair as it fell over her shoulders.

“You gonna just stand there all mornin'?” Bobby asked Dean, doing his best not to chuckle.

Dean quickly snapped out of it, in enough time that Maria missed the look completely when she looked over at him, her smile fading fairly quickly. He went over and got himself a cup of coffee, not even glancing at her before he joined the adults at the table. Since the boys were awake, the adults headed into the living room and then stopped.

“Boys, clean up your beds,” John said sternly.

Dean quickly set his cup down on the table, “Yes Sir,” he replied, moving quickly into the living room, followed by Sammy.

Maria raised an eyebrow at how quickly Dean had listened to his dad. She knew he followed orders but he did still have moments, especially when she was around, where he deliberately dragged his feet when his father told him to do something. Even with her amusement, she turned to tend the things cooking on the stove. 

An hour before the turkey was due to be done, Sammy helped Maria with the potatoes, peeling them as she cut them up and put them in the pot to boil. The two were chatting, laughing at simple jokes, and just enjoying each other’s company. Dean watched them but would look away before Maria looked over at him. He wasn’t quite sure what had changed that morning when he saw her but was blaming it on the smell of the apple pie, which somehow he was convinced she put some sort of spell on but wasn’t about to say anything about it, not on Thanksgiving. After the potatoes boiled to the softness she needed, she strained them, then mashed them in a large bowl while Sammy watched her. Bobby came into the kitchen and pulled out the turkey to check it while Dean helped John and William set the table. All of their stomachs were growling at this point since they had all saved their appetites for this meal.

“It’s done,” Bobby told them, turning off the oven.

Maria handed the bowl of mashed potatoes to Sammy, smiling down at him as he smiled up at her. He loved helping her. Everyone else helped move items to the table while Bobby carried the turkey. 

“I hope my suggestion didn’t ruin the turkey,” Maria told her Uncle as she looked over at him, and then down at the turkey.

“Well, if it tastes half as good as it smells, it’s not ruined,” he replied, the other adults smiling a little.

Dean glanced over at her again, wanting to ask what she had meant until he looked over at the turkey, seeing it upside down in the pan, a confused look crossing his face. Bobby carved the turkey, serving each person what they asked for before he put some on his plate. Each of them had at minimum a piece of the light meat and the dark meat. When Maria tasted the white meat, she smiled proudly. It was not only soft but also very juicy with it having been cooked on the bottom of the pan.

“That’s it. I’ll never second guess any suggestion you make,” Bobby said, after tasting the turkey, the other adults agreeing with him.

“Thanks, Uncle Bobby,” she replied proudly as she looked over at him, “Wait till you taste the pies,” she giggled.

“Yeah… uhh… it’s a… it’s really good,” Dean told her, for the first time ever stumbling over his words when he spoke to her.

She looked over at him, surprised at the compliment, and at the same time, felt something strange, unable to even describe it in her head, “Uh, thanks,” she replied, slightly confused before she went back to her meal.

All three adults raised an eyebrow at the interaction, knowing exactly what was going on between the two, even if neither of them did, yet. There was laughter while they ate and shared fun stories about old hunts, as those were okay today. The atmosphere was light-hearted and jovial. They made sure not to fill up too much, knowing there was pie waiting for all of them. 

They cleaned up afterward, and the boys, including Dean, helped with some of the dishes. When Maria went over to the sink to help out, all he did was gesture to the dishes he’d already washed, implying for her to rinse them. She tilted her head as she looked over at him, but shrugged her shoulders as she began rinsing the dishes. The adults kept a close eye on the two of them. Dean and Maria didn’t say anything to each other as they took care of the rest of the dishes, neither paying attention to the time or how many dishes they’d done. He would glance down at her occasionally but would quickly look away to pay attention to what he was doing, even if he could have washed dishes in his sleep.

She couldn’t figure out why Dean seemed to be being nice to her all of a sudden but wasn’t about to say anything about it. At least they weren’t fighting, she thought to herself as they finished up the dishes. William set the table with a small plate and fork for each of them while Sammy grabbed the whipped cream out of the fridge. Maria was smiling as she placed two of the pies in the center of the table and missed Dean licking his lips. She sliced the pie, placing a slice on each of the plates before she sat down. The whipped cream was passed around the table so each of them could add the amount they wanted. John watched Sammy, making sure he didn’t overdo it on the amount he put on his slice.

Dean took a bite of the pie and his eyes widened at the flavor, beyond surprised at how well it tasted, “This is amazing!” he exclaimed with a mouthful of food.

“Manners,” John scolded him, which made him close his mouth and chew his bite.

“Sorry Sir,” he replied, looking down at his plate.

Maria wasn’t sure if she should chuckle or be surprised at yet again something nice coming out of his mouth directed at her. She also had to admit seeing him talk with a mouthful of food was kind of cute and funny at the same time, so focused on her pie, fighting with the smile that kept trying to form on her lips, which her father noticed.

The others complimented her on the pie and Dean had a second slice, afterward all of them hanging out in the living room. Maria and Sammy played Sorry on the coffee table while the adults drank in celebration of the day as Dean just watched Maria and his brother. He was listening to the conversation the adults were having, adding something from time to time, but his focus was on her. He was still convinced that she had somehow put a spell on him with the pie, knowing that the current book she was reading was on witches, their craft, and hex bags, which he had planned to look for either later that night or the following morning. He knew she’d had to put it in his things specifically for it to only affect him. 

Somewhere around nine she went and did her chores before bidding everyone goodnight, wanting to get through the other books she still had hidden in her room. She knew they were heading out in a couple of days, with no idea when they’d be stopping back by. Being fourteen, Maria never really thought much about boys, as she was more focused on hunting and learning whatever she could get her hands on. That was something William had been thankful for, not quite ready to have ‘the talk’ with her, but he knew it would have to happen soon.

The next couple of days were odd, especially around Dean. He had searched everything that was in any way connected to him, unable to find a hex bag, and had cursed under his breath, still convinced that she’d somehow put a spell on him. It wasn’t that he was avoiding her, it was that he would watch her, and she could almost feel it, but every time she would look over at him, he was looking somewhere else. He hadn’t said any snarky comments and had mostly stayed quiet. The adults knew what was going on, but John would have that conversation with him after they would head out, as well as swear Sammy to secrecy about it.

She packed her bags slowly that Saturday morning, having returned all but one book to her Uncle’s collection the night before, forgetting about the one she’d hidden under her mattress, near the foot of the bed. Maria took one more look around her room and sighed silently before she went into the living room, not looking at any of them as she made her way into the kitchen, then outside to her father’s truck, putting her bags on the back seat. She was going to miss her Uncle and Sammy, as she always did when she and her father were on the road, and it always felt like too much time went between any visits with them.

Maria took a deep breath and managed a small smile before she went back inside to get herself some breakfast, knowing it would be a long drive to where they were headed next. Her father already had another case lined up, as did John. They were heading in opposite directions. Sammy joined her for breakfast, having the same cereal she had picked out.

“Sis?” Sammy asked as he looked over at her.

“What’s up little brother?” she replied, smiling softly at him.

“When do you think I’ll get to see you again?” he asked, looking fairly sad.

She thought for a moment before she answered him, “I’m not sure, but I want you to always remember that I’m a part of you, not only in your memories and thoughts but also in your heart. Just like you are with me,” she told him with a soft smile.

“That’s not the same,” he told her.

She sighed, “I know it’s not the same,” she replied then smiled a little as she took off the friendship bracelet that was on her wrist, then handed it to him, “Here. Any time you’re missing me, you can hold onto this or wear it and it will feel like I’m hugging you, okay?”

He looked at her skeptically, but didn’t turn down the gift, putting it on his wrist, “Thanks, Sis, even if I don’t believe you.” “Guess you’ll just have to try it out after we head out in a bit,” she winked down at him before they went back to their breakfast. 

She’d only told him that in hopes of helping him feel better, not thinking anything else of it. Little did either of them know the surprise that would follow later on that day. The six of them said their goodbyes and parted ways a half hour after she had finished eating. Dean hadn’t said a word to her and had barely even looked at her, so she ignored him, and her emotions as she climbed into the passenger seat of her father’s truck.

“Take care of your dad, munchkin,” Bobby told her, smiling a little. He was going to miss them both but knew they’d stay in touch, “I packed some leftovers in the cooler for you and made sure to send you with a piece of the pie.” “Thanks, Uncle Bobby, and I will,” she replied, forcing a small smile.

William nodded to Bobby before he drove off, the Impala with the Winchesters not far behind. At the interstate though, they went in opposite directions. She watched out of the side mirror till she couldn’t see it anymore and sighed quietly before she looked out the windshield, preparing herself for the up-and-coming hunt that she knew her father would be taking her on.

He stopped at a rest station a few hours later, as she had asked him to, and that was when a call from Bobby came in, “Yeah, what’s up Bobby?” he asked, watching the bathrooms where Maria was headed.

“Will, she found it. She found the damned book,” Bobby told him, both worried and concerned.

“Wait? She fou…” he trailed off, as the realization hit him like a ton of bricks and his eyes widened, “Can you tell how much she read?” he asked quickly.

“I’d say she made it to ‘her’ chapter at least,” Bobby replied as he looked down at the book in his hands.

“Damnit,” William grumbled, “Why didn’t you lock that damn thing up?!” he snapped.

“I did. It was in the safe. I have no idea how she found it, let alone got a hold of it,” Bobby exclaimed.

William thought quickly as he noticed her coming back, “Put it in the box, then put it in the safe this time. She isn’t old enough to read that,” he spoke quickly before he hung up the phone, putting on a smile as his daughter climbed back in the truck.

“Everything okay Dad?” she asked, curiously.

“Yeah, Bobby was just letting me know that I forgot to grab a book he had for me, that’s all,” he replied, lying through his teeth, but she believed him, and that was all he needed.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 8

Tag List: @deans-spinster-witch @kazsrm67

Link to the master list for this story.

[shallowseeker]

Random SPNWin ficlet

where Jack spills the beans about time travel and gets mistaken for a Campbell

"Now, remember Jack. While we're unstuck in time, we can't tell them anything about us. No letting on that we know them, or that we're friggin' time travellers. Capische? Mouth zipped."

"Mouth zipped. Right."

/// five minutes later ///

Later, when they're all crowded into the dingy, orange-glow kitchen, Mary throws a sunny smile towards Millie as she starts rustling through the cupboards. Dean smothers a grin at her transparent attempts to impress the future mother-in-law.

"Millie, I can help you scrounge somethin' up--"

"No!" Jack blurts, a careening, metaphorical record scratch. Millie and Mary turn to him with twin furrowed brows. "I-I mean," he stutters, "she...can't cook...for beans?"

The phrase is awkward rolling off his tongue, and Dean's jaw drops. What the Hell? The kid is putting his foot in it this soon?

Mary bristles, like every hair on the back of her neck's standing straight up.

"Probably can't cook for beans," Jack amends, shifting his eyes, wide and terrified, to Dean. "Probably, because why would I have any idea how Mary cooks?"

Carlos snorts, and Lata makes a happy trilling sound. "I told you," Carlos mouths silently, and Lata shifts like she's kicking him under the table.

"What'd he tell you," John breaks in from across the table, eyes glittering with intelligence and suspicion. "What'd he tell you, Lata? What?"

Dean tries to head the disaster off with a casual, no-nonsense drawl: "Don't mind Jack," he insists, cool as a cucumber. "He was born in a barn."

Jack stiffens, offended: "I was actually born in a beautiful lakehouse."

Millie narrows her eyes and considers all of them. She drawls, equally no-nonsense: "Kay, obviously you two have been sitting on something big. Share with the class, Carlos. Lata."

Carlos and Lata lock gazes, and Lata withdraws a small scrap of paper from her pocket. With dawning horror, Dean realizes: it's a Jiffy Burger receipt. From 20-friggin-20.

"Found this in your jacket pocket, Mr. 'Bennett Turner.' You," Lata pops, sending a lightning stare towards Dean and tossing her long, dark hair in a very self-satisfied-Sam way, "are time travellers."

"And we think he," Carlos adds, pointing a fork at Jack, "is a Jack...Winchester. Or Campbell."

Jack's mouth drops open and he swivels to Dean in horror, shaking his head in the negative.

"How he keeps starin' at John n' Mare is a dead giveaway." Carlos huffs, scowling at Mary, "He's your future weirdo kid. I'd bet the farm on it...if we had a farm."

Oh, this is a catastrophe. Dean's mind chugs like a derailed freight train.

Meanwhile, John's eyes shimmer in that heartbreakingly happy way that reminds Dean of the world's worst what-if funhouse mirror.

"No, no," Jack stammers. "My dad is missing. My dad isn't...him. My dad is--I, Dean help!"

John actually looks disappointed, and then his face contorts into a kind of paranoid anger that has Dean's throat working overtime. Millie and Mary, on the other hand, have got some solid poker faces.

"Ah-ha!" Lata crows, jabbing her spoon his way, "So your name is Dean. That fits you a lot better."

There's a loud thunk as Jack lays his head on the table in defeat. Dean clears his throat awkwardly, but Mary's raspy tenor cuts in before he can concoct any kind of explanation.

"Wait. You said your dad's...missing?"

It's quiet, tenative, and directed at Jack. He raises his head and meets her gaze, miserably. He nods.

"It's--all of time is under attack. It's true what you say about me being from the future," Jack fidgets, hands going stiff and pancake-like on the table. "I was born in 2017, a-and my dad went radio silent after he went to investigate what you call Akrida."

"So, your dad's missing...on a hunting trip," Mary surmises.

Jack swallows. "Uh, yeah. You could say--yes."

Mary shares an empathetic look with John before rocketing her gaze back to Jack. "Then, we'll help you. Definitely."

Jack's eyes start to water, and he nods. "You're," he chokes. "You've always been kind, Mary. And brave..."

Mary lowers her brow and shares a bewildered look with John. Carlos snorts, breaking the moment: "Oh, is that what we're calling reckless and stupid in the future?"

Dean hears Lata kick Carlos again.

"Wait," Millie barks. "Born in 2017? That'd make you a toddler. No way that's your receipt. I'm calling fraud on you. On both of you."

"Oh," Lata mumurs, like she hadn't even thought of that, "you do look older than three. And the receipt did say it was from 2020."

Carlos deflates, "Yeah I was thinkin' you'd be born in the 80s if you were Mare's. Campbell, though? You look like you could be a Campbell. Fight like one, too."

Jack fidgets, picking at his fingers. "I'm just a hunter-in-training that kne- knows her."

"Oh, my god, if we're alive, we're in our 60s in the 2020s," Carlos bursts. "Tell me, who aged better, me or John? And are there flying cars? Tell me there are flying cars."

Dean's throat damn near locks up at that. He's never seen most of these people in his life, nor heard their names. "Look," he chokes, hardening his voice. "There's a lot of-of timey-wimey stuff that's all mashed up here, okay? It's dangerous. You'll have to take my word on that. When we need you to know something, you'll know it."

He hadn't meant for his voice to sharpen quite that much, but it had, and the ensuing silence borders on uncomfortable. Millie's gaze has become flat, verging on threatening.

It's John who breaks the quiet: "Y-yes, sir."

[deans-baby-momma]

The Story of Us-Chapter 14

A/N: This is a rewrite of a story my good friend @spnbaby-67 allowed me to take and rewrite. All mistakes are mine. This is canon divergent, meaning some things that happened in the show will still happen here but with my own twist to it.

Summary: She and Dean met when they were kids. Even at such a young age, she knew that he was her soulmate. Being the daughter of a hunter, Michaela (Micki) Singer knew the life he led came with a price, but she was up to the challenge.

Pairings: Dean Winchester/Michaela Singer

Warnings: Flashbacks are in italics, fluffy stuff, angst stuff, character death, kidnapping, depression, semi-dark themes

A/N2: This chapter has what is known as an inception flashback, or in layman terms, a flashback within a flashback……I learned something new today because I didn’t think it was possible. LOL

Summer 1997

Dean stayed at Singer’s Salvage after prom, telling John that he was taking on a hunt of his own when, in reality, he stayed back to spend time with Micki. Bobby, of course, never said a word to John because he thought the kid needed to be a rebellious teenager anyway. It’s a rite of passage for children; to disobey their parents’ rules and learn some lessons ‘the hard way’.

Dean and Micki were inseparable day in and day out. The only time they were apart was at night. Bobby might have been okay with his daughter and Dean dating but he was in no way going to condone them sleeping in the same bed. Not under his roof!

It’s been six months since prom and Dean was still living in Bobby’s basement. At breakfast one morning, he walked up behind Micki while she’s cooking breakfast-bacon and egg of course- and informs her that he is taking her out on a date that night.

“Really?” Micki asked, turning her attention from the pan of frying foods to look at her boyfriend. “Where are we going?”

Dean smiles and bends to peck a kiss to her lips. “Just out. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, beautiful. I have it all planned out. Just meet me out front at 5.” 

After eating the delicious breakfast that she had prepared, Dean went out to help her dad in the garage so Micki went about cleaning up. She was giddy and excited that Dean had made plans and they were going out, like a real actual couple. 

Not that they hadn’t had dates before, or as far as Bobby knew they were dates, but most of the times while her dad thought his daughter and Dean were at the movies or out getting dinner, the two lovebirds were parked on some deserted, backwoods road, fucking and giving each other immeasurable pleasure.

Micki sighs as she remembers just last week, they were in the backseat of one of the old jalopies from the junk yard, and they’d done something new but scary; had sex without a condom.

Flashback

Dean begins kissing down Micki’s neck as his hand snakes between her thighs and up to the hem of her shorts, his fingertips dipping under the material. Micki moans as she throws her head back.

“Why don't I help you take those shorts off?" Dean mumbled against her skin. With a bit of maneuvering and accidentally bumping their heads together once, the two lovers eventually succeeded and Micki laid back against the backseat of the Chevy. 

Her legs were spread to accommodate Dean's body as he leaned forward and captured her in a passionate kiss, one of his hands finding purchase on her breast while his other was holding onto the back of the cushion.

After kneading her tit and flicking her nipple until it puckered, Dean's hand traveled south slowly but with purpose. As soon as his fingertips met her sodden folds,  Micki moaned into the kiss.

"You like when I finger you, dontcha sweetheart?" Dean asked with a smile. "You like these-" he continues as he taps his digits against her core. "- rubbing all over this sweet little pussy, inside and out, hmm?"

"Yes, God yes!"

Dean uses his forefinger and ring finger to open her lower lips and rubs her clit with his middle one. He can already feel the nub swelling and pulsing against his touch.

"Baby, look at me."

Micki opens her eyes, she didn't even realize she had closed and looked into his viridian irises. Dean smiles down at her before telling her,  "I like watching you as I do this."

His finger slides down and into her entrance,  crooking at his fist knuckle to flick at the spongy part just behind her clit. 

Micki whimpers and grates her hips but Dean doesn't falter as he keeps pushing and pulling his finger out of her, ultimately adding another and another until Micki's walls are stretched around his three thick digits.  

"Fuck, look at how well you take it Mick! That pussy is squeezing my fingers."

"Dean," Micki groans as she feels her first orgasm approaching. "Don't stop! Please don't stop!"

The moment his thumb grazed across her turgid clit, Micki's back arched off the leather  and her limbs tensed as her release flowed out, soaking his hand, wrist and interior of the vehicle.

"Damn baby," Dean says, astonished. "You squirted everywhere."

Before Micki could respond,  Dean had removed his fingers and covered her whole pussy with his mouth, sucking and locking the remnants of her climax from her.

He spent what seemed like hours down there, nibbling on her clit, locking into her entrance and sucking hickey's onto her labia.  Micki thought she'd go mad!

When he finally relented, she had had another orgasm from just his mouth and it was evident on his lips and chin when he pulled away from her.

"I gotta fuck you now before I explode!"

Dean hurriedly unbuckled his jeans and pulled them down, his hard dick bouncing up against his stomach.

"Shit!" He suddenly exclaimed.  "Shit. Shit. Shit."

"What-" Micki asked.

"We don't have a condom. Fucking hell! I forgot to replace the one we used the other day."

"Oh. Well I could suck you off?" She suggested, sitting up and wrapping her hand around his shaft, pumping her fist up and down his length

"What if," Dean began and then swallowed. "What if I promise to pull out? Please? I kinda want to fuck you bare. See if it feels different, better."

"You promise?" She asked as she continued jerking him off. "You cannot cum inside me!"

"Pinky promise," Dean said, holding his free hand up, the pinky finger extended. As soon as Micki's wrapped around it, he smiles. "This is gonna feel awesome!"

Sweat was beading on his forehead as he plowed into Micki's welcoming body. Dean could feel his release but didn't want this to end, so he stayed it off. He bit into his bottom lip until he tasted blood, his hips thrusting without abandon.

"Oh fuck! That feels good. God, I'm gonna cum. Oh god, oh god!"

Micki starts pushing against his chest. "Pull out Dean! Pull out! Now!"

But it was too late. Dean had already discharged a few spurts into her body before he could remove himself to finish on her stomach. 

"Goddammit Dean!"

End Flashback

The sound of the screen door creaking open and then slamming shit brought Micki back to reality as she watched her father stroll in to refill his coffee thermos.

"Hey sweetie," he says as he pounds the liquid. "Dean tells me y'all are going out again?"

"Yea.Probably just going into town for a  burger at the diner," Micki says, shrugging. 

"Well, don't stay out too late."

"We won't Dad," she smiles as her Dad comes over to kiss her on top of the head before disappearing out the door again.

Present Day (2008)

Bobby goes to rush to Dean, realizing the boy is devastated as he's been lied to-by an angel, no less- and that Micki isn't awake.

But as he glances past the man on the floor to the younger Winchester, he is confused by the smile on Sam's lips  

"She woke up about an hour ago," Sam explains.

Bobby hurries to the bedroom door, stepping around Dean and looks inside.

Michaela is sitting up, against the headboard with her feet planted on the mattress and her daughter laying against her raised knees.

"Hiya Dad!”

@lostinaseaoffictionalbliss​ @spnbaby-67​ @tftumblin​ @sea040561​ @delightfullykrispypeach​ @larajadeschmidt13​ @atc74​ @vicariouslythruspn​ @squirrelnotsam​  @sandlee44​ @blacktithe7​ @hoboal87​ @mogaruke​ @deanwanddamons​ @supraveng​ @deandreamernp​ @akshi8278​ @lyarr24​ @maggiegirl17​ @chriszgirl92​

[smellingofpoetry]

Cherry Pie

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, John Winchester, Mary Winchester, Bobby Singer, Reader's mom

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Chef!Reader

Summary: This is the story of how cooking made two people fall in love.

Square/s Filled: Free Space (@anyfandomaubingo)

Warnings: AU, fluff, slow burn, lots of cooking

Words count: 3438

Beta: endlesswanted

A/N:  Hi there! I wrote this one-shot for @fictional-affairs' challenge. Happy birthday again, love. I hope this story is what you were looking for. Also, I hope to bring you some joy today with it. It's not what I had in mind, but I'm used by now for my stories to do whatever they pleased, lol. So, I just hope you're gonna like it. Feedback is always appreciated. Enjoy!🖤

Dean Winchester Masterlist - Masterlist

Y/N had just gotten back from school, saying bye to her friend Sam, when walking inside her home she found it empty. It wasn’t a surprise since her parents had weird shifts. So, she just left her school bag at the entrance before heading to the kitchen, hoping her mom had left something for her to eat.

She searched the whole kitchen, but of course, her mom had forgotten about it – again. Y/N sighed frustrated and even more hungry than a few minutes prior. She opened the fridge, knowing full well that there was plenty of food for her to not starve to death. There was only one problem – she didn’t know how to cook.

The last time Y/N tried to cook something she had almost burnt the house down. She groaned, closing the fridge with more force than intended. She heard then her stomach growl and she knew she had one option left. So, she swallowed her pride, took the keys to the house, and went out. She walked the few yards separating her from her neighbor’s house.

Y/N walked towards the back and took a deep breath. She knocked at their kitchen door before letting herself in.

“Hi.” She sighed, waving her hand at her friend’s big brother currently busy behind the stoves. Dean turned around with a smirk on his face. He was used to seeing her walk into their kitchen while their parents were gone, at that point he was always cooking more food and just waiting for her.

“I was wondering if it was okay for me to stay for lunch,” Y/N said, awkwardly moving from one foot to the other, gnawing at her bottom lip. Dean leaned toward the near counter with his hip, arms crossed at his chest. He sighed, rolling his eyes for a more dramatic effect before waving her over.

“Alright, but this time you’re helping.” He told her, throwing at her the apron. Y/N frowned, catching the garment just in time. She tightened it around her middle while walking closer to where he was standing.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked him, alarmed. Dean nodded, passing her the spoon which she took quite unsure.

“Don’t worry, I won’t let you burn this kitchen too.” He whispered in her ear, smirking and earning a shove from her.

Y/N was curled up in one of the corners of the Winchester’s couch, watching a movie with Sam and Dean while their parents were out for the parents-teachers meeting. Those meetings always took so long, and according to her dad were boring as hell, which explained why he and Mrs. John got in their cars very reluctantly that afternoon.

It was almost dinner time, and they hadn’t been back yet. Hers and Sam’s stomachs, if the noises to her right were an indication, were starting to rumble. Three grumbled later and she saw Dean roll his eyes, pausing the movie before getting up.

“Hey!” Sam complained, to which he received a dirty look from his big brother.

“I couldn’t concentrate with all the noises you two were making, so I’m going to fetch us something to eat.” He declared while heading to the kitchen. Y/N glanced at Sam, finding him watching his brother before turning back to her. The moment their eyes met they started to giggle.

“You did make some noise.” Sam teased her. Y/N swatted his arm playfully before getting up and feign to be outraged.

“I’m going to see if your brother needs help.” She told him while walking to the kitchen. She turned around just to stick her tongue out just for good measure. Sam threw a cushion at her then, barely missing her. She laughed at him while running to the kitchen just to not give him the chance to throw something else at her. She stopped only when in the safety of the other room, a small giggle escaped her until she caught Dean staring at her with a raised brow. Y/N cleared her throat, trying to stifle a new giggle.

“Do you need help?” she asked, taking a step closer to the counter while nervously fixing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do you know how to make a perfect burger?” He asked while taking out different ingredients from the pantry. Y/N eyed him carefully, she was sure that assembling a burger wasn’t that hard, but she found herself shaking her head, nonetheless. She did that for two reasons. First, she didn’t trust herself when it came to cooking. Second, she didn’t mind listening to Dean showing her things. She once heard him talk about motors and cars for like half an hour, and she was sure that nothing could be worse than that. At least in this case she knew what a burger was, which was a better start.

“C’mon, I’ll show you.”

Y/N was sitting on the floor with her eyes glued to the oven’s glass. She anxiously gnawed at her lip, glancing from time to time at the clock on the wall. She watched the cake slowly rise until it stopped, and everything came crashing down, again. She sighed defeated, knowing full well that was the fourth failed attempt.

“Damn it!” she whispered while fishing her phone from her back pocket and starting to tap a text.

9-1-1: Kitchen!!! 

She put her phone away and waited. That was how Dean had found her, sitting on the kitchen floor covered in what he assumed was flour. He stopped at the entrance; arms crossed while leaning against the door frame.

“I thought Sam was your emergency contact.” He whispered with a smirk on his lips. Y/N raised her eyes at the sound of his voice, and for a moment he got worried by the sad look in her eyes. He came closer then, kneeling in front of her.

“Are you okay?”

“No. My summer sucks, my parents are divorcing and I’m not even good at backing a damn cake.” She whispered with tears welling in her eyes. Dean sighed, cupping her face with both his hands and rubbing his thumbs under her eyes.

“I can’t do much for your parents, but I can help you with the cake and, if we still have some time, we can try to fix your summer too. Sounds good?” He asked, helping her stand up. She got up, sniffling a little and trying to get rid of some of the flour on her shirt. Dean smirked, ruffling her hair making some more white powder fall on the floor.

“So, what cake were you trying to bake?” he asked, peeking at the book on the counter. Y/N got closer, pointing to one of the pictures. Dean squinted at the image, reading the recipe, and nodding from time to time. Y/N gnawed at her bottom lip, watching him nod his head one more time before closing the book.

“Alright, let’s bake some pie!” He announced, clapping his hands.

“What about the cake?” She asked confused while taking a step back to let him have enough space to retrieve the ingredients he needed.

“Cakes are overrated, pies on the other hand…” he trailed off while taking some of the flour and putting it in a bowl. Y/N got closer, nudging him a bit without taking her eye away from what he was doing.

“You don’t know how to bake a cake, isn’t it?” She whispered like she was sharing a secret. Dean stopped what he was doing, looking at her for a few seconds before leaning towards her.

“Don’t say a word and I’ll let you pick the filling.” He whispered in a conspirator tone, making her giggle.

“How do you feel about cherry?” She asked, sharing with him a knowing look.

The holiday wasn’t the same anymore since her parents divorced. They used to spend it all together eating, laughing, talking, and having fun. The Winchesters were kind enough to still invite her and her mom to their gatherings. At first, it had felt weird her dad not being there, but then things started to slowly go back to normal or something resembling it.

They used to spend the 4th of July grilling burgers, drinking beer if they were old enough, and waiting for the fireworks. They used to switch houses every year, but lately they just silently agreed to spend the day with the Winchesters, which was why she and her mom were walking toward the backyard of their neighbor. Once there they were welcomed with hugs and waves, Y/N put down the pasta salad her mom had made before glancing around her. Her mom was already deep in conversation with Mary. John was a few feet away checking the meat on the barbecue while talking with Bobby. Sammy was sitting in one of the chairs with his nose in a book. He had always been a nerd, which was why it had been easy being friends with him, but lately with college right around the corner he had less and less time to spend with her. She was saddened by that, but somehow, she understood. If she had to be honest, she envied him because she was still trying to figure out what to do after high school, while Sam had a whole plan.

“Dean, can you take over the barbecue for a while?” John asked, passing him the pincers as soon as he was near him. Dean took it, starting to turn the meat while glancing at the girl in the middle of his garden.

“Hey Y/N, could you come over?” He called out for her, watching her come his way with a smile on her face. Dean glanced at Sam, still deep in his book, shaking his head. He loved his little brother, but he swore sometimes that kid was dumb. What was he thinking, leaving a girl just standing there? Especially a girl like Y/N.

Dean waited for her to get closer before giving her the container with oil and seasonings. As soon as she took it, he made space for her to slip between him and the barbecue.

“I’ll keep turning the meat while you put that on them,” he instructed her, who simply nodded, starting to wet the meat with precision. Dean had to bite his lip to stop from smiling too big.

“Look at you being professional and all.” He said, nudging lightly at her. Y/N looked up, a smile lighting up her whole face.

“I guess I had a good teacher.”

Fall had come sooner than expected and they all had to say bye to Sam, who moved to college, leaving them behind. Y/N and Dean had been both worried to stay behind without the piece keeping them together. The fear started to disappear slowly, leaving space for their traditional Friday dinner where they took hold of Dean’s kitchen and cooked together. They had found their balance until winter came and it was her turn to leave.

“Hope you have some room for dessert.” He said while retrieving their plates and disappearing into the kitchen. Y/N watched him leave, gnawing at her bottom lip trying to find the right words to tell him the news. She was so deep in thought that she didn’t even notice him coming back until a slice of pie was put in front of her.

“You’re thinking too loud.” He teased her. She sighed, cracking a smile before retrieving a letter inside of her jacket and letting it slide on the table towards him. Dean let go of the fork, swallowing some of the pie before taking the letter in his hand and reading it. Y/N watched him carefully, trying to read his expression while her heart seemed ready to escape her chest of how wild it was beating. Dean read the paper till the end a smile lit up his face.

“You got in?” He asked just to make sure he was reading right.

“Yeah.”

“I knew you could do it, come here.” He said, getting up from his seat to hug her. Y/N smiled at his enthusiasm, getting up as well and letting him hug her. She put her arms around his middle, hugging him just as tight, burying her face in his chest.

“You’re not mad, right?” She asked in a whisper. Dean frowned, glancing at her without breaking their hug.

“For what?”

“Leaving you.”

Dean’s heart skipped a bit at her question, and it took him a moment to find the right words to answer her. He sighed, letting his hands travel to her arms where he stopped, pushing her a bit away from him just enough to look her in the eyes.

“I’ll be mad if you don’t, Y/N. This is one hell of an opportunity, and I don’t want you to waste it just because of me. You don’t have to worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll miss you.” She whispered, her eyes filling with tears. Dean swallowed hard, hugging her again but a bit tighter this time. He kissed the crown of her head, closing his eyes and lingering with his lips on her skin more than he should have, but he couldn’t really give a damn at that moment. Not when that could easily be the last time he could hold her between his arms.

God, he already missed her, but he was too afraid to say it out loud.

“Just promise me something–,” he whispered, swallowing hard.

“Anything.” She answered so quickly that made Dean chuckle.

“When you become a great Chef with a restaurant of your own, I want to be your first customer.” He whispered, feeling his eyes starting to sting.

“Deal.”

4 years later.

Dean glanced at the invitation he got by mail a few days prior, currently clutched in his hand. He read the address again, to make sure that he was indeed in the right place. He put the card in the inside pocket of his jacket while walking towards the entrance of the new restaurant his hometown was obsessed with. As soon as he walked through the door a young lady welcomed him.

“Hello, Sir. Follow me, please.” She said, guiding him to the central table in the dining area.

Dean got rid of his jacket, took a seat, and looked around. “Jack will be your server tonight. Enjoy your meal.” She said before retreating to the entrance, leaving Dean alone in the dining area. A few seconds later, a young waiter made his way to him.

“Welcome to our restaurant. My name is Jack. How are you doing this evening, Sir?” He asked, politely smiling.

“Not really sure at the moment…” Dean answered, glancing one more time at the empty room.

“Well, I hope the menu the Chef has prepared for tonight can make up your mind. In the meantime, can I get you something to drink?”

“Red wine, thank you.”

The rest of the night went by with Jack coming to the table now and then to serve him a new course, refill his glass, or ask him how it was going. Dean tried to ask his waiter why he was the only one there, but Jack was good enough to avoid his question. Then the food had arrived, and Dean had completely forgotten everything else, so busy tasting every plate and, damn if they weren’t good. It was probably the best food he had ever eaten in his whole life.

He was sipping some of his wine when Jack came back.

“How was everything?” The waiter asked, taking Dean’s empty plate.

“Delicious.”

“The Chef would be pleased to know. Can I interest you in our special dessert?”

“Why not?”

Dean watched him leave, retreating towards what he assumed was the kitchen, remaining alone again. He took another sip of wine when someone surprised him from behind by placing a plate with a slice of pie on it.

“Pie!” He exclaimed, surprised and quite pleased to see his favorite food in the whole world in front of him.

“Someone once told me that cakes are overrated, pie, on the other hand…” the Chef whispered, making herself known. Dean looked up, swallowing hard at the sight of the woman in front of him, forgetting about the pie.

“Y/N?”

“Hey, Dean.” She smiled, taking a seat in front of him.

“Is this–,” he trailed off, pointing with his fingers at the room they were in.

“Yes.”

“And am I–”

“Yes, Dean. you’re my very first customer.”

Dean nodded with a smile, lowering his gaze to hide the tears welling up in his eyes.

“You remembered, uhm?” He whispered, looking up again and catching her looking at him with a soft smile.

“Like I could ever forget. So, are you gonna try the pie or not?” She asked, nervously.

Dean took his fork, not letting her repeat the invitation twice. He took a big piece of pie, taking it to his mouth under her curious gaze. As soon as all the flavors hit him, he couldn’t stop the moaning that escaped him, making her giggle.

“I get that it is good?” She asked, smiling.

“Fucking awesome.”

“So, what do you think of the menu? Can I use it for the opening?”

Dean looked up at her, swallowing the last bite of pie and cleaning his mouth from the few crumbles.

“The food was amazing, but you already know that you don’t need me to tell you my approval.” He told her, scraping some remnants of the pie from the plate.

“You know, I have some more pie in the kitchen if you want.” She smirked, getting up without waiting for his response. Y/N smiled when she heard the chair getting moved, four years and he hadn’t changed a bit. Dean followed her into the kitchen admiring the spacious room full of all the cool tools. Y/N watched him looking around himself until his eyes found hers. She smiled, handing him a fork before they both started to eat the remaining pie. They eat in silence like that for a few minutes, glancing at each other.

“Do you remember the first time we baked a pie together?” She asked, licking at her fork.

“I remember you wanted to bake a cake…”

“…and failing miserably.” She finished for him, making both of them laugh.

“Yeah, but look how far you’ve come, with a restaurant of your own.” He said, a hint of pride in his voice. Y/N looked at him, letting go of her fork and getting closer to him.

“You’re wrong, you know? I still need your opinion… I still need you, Dean.”

“You never really did; I was the one to need you.” He whispered, moving a strand of his hair behind her ear. They both shifted closer to each other, their eyes never leaving the other.

“We needed each other,” she whispered, tilting her head, and slowly grazing his lips with hers. Dean cupped her cheek, bringing her closer, and let their lips finally meet. Y/N smiled against his mouth, disclosing her lips to grant him access. Their tongues meet halfway, caressing each other. Dean sighed into the kiss, feeling his heart going miles a minute. He had dreamt so many times of kissing her, but nothing came closer to that moment.

They reluctantly let go of each other, letting their foreheads touch while their breaths mingled together.

“I’m here to stay, you know?”

“Yeah, I figured that out since the restaurant and everything else.” He chuckled. Y/N giggled, rolling her eyes at herself for turning into a teenager all over again whenever he was around her.

“And I know that you already have a job you like and I’m probably too late anyway, but–”

“Yes.” He interrupted her, making her look up at him with a smile on her lips that seemed so kissable that Dean was kinda having a hard time concentrating.

“You don’t even know what I was asking you.”

“Doesn’t matter, the answer is still yes.” He whispered, ducking his head, and catching her lips in a kiss. She kissed him back, smiling against his lips until she put her hands on his chest to lightly push him away.

“Dean–”

“Alright, alright, ask away.”

“Would you like to come work here at the restaurant with me?”

“Yes. I would love to work with you at the rest– wait, what’s the name of the restaurant anyway?” He asked, frowning. Y/N smiled one of her beautiful smiles, mischief in her eyes, while she got closer to him like she used to do when she wanted to share a secret.

“Cherry pie.”

Forevers Tags:

@440mxs-wife @cosicas-cuquis @foxyjwls007 @morganaah

Supernatural Tags:

@flamencodiva @keep-beating-my-dear-heart @leigh70 @littlewhiterose @pastelpeaxch @snowlovespie @stixnstripesworld @hobby27

Dean/Jensen Tags:

@akshi8278 @awkward-and-indecisive @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @siospins2 @stitchintimefan @universallyraylangivens @waynes-multiverse @woodworthti666 @sexyvixen7

[nightingaelic]

I got a question, who do you think out of all 3/New Vegas/4 companions would make the best to worst roomates? Like from the ones who become your best bro to the ones who are horrible yet contribute to chores/rent in some way while still being bad.... This might be in some form of modern Au or the fallout universe

(excluding the bots/soggos/super mutants)

excluding the bots/doggos/super mutants

But why? 😊

Here's my tier list, brought to you by Tiermaker. Detailed explanations below the cut, starting from the bottom.

40. Jericho

Asshole who will trap you in the kitchen when you can't escape and start going on and on about how the #MeToo movement went way out of control.

39-38. Dog/God

This guy desperately needs therapy, and by god, he's going to make it your problem. Doesn't shower.

37. Clover

Clingy in the worst way, to the point of possessiveness, and has no other friends for a variety of reasons. Also needs therapy.

36. Sergeant RL-3

Annoying nationalist who is probably the reason you keep getting ads on your YouTube account encouraging you to donate to conservative think tanks or join the National Guard. At least he does the dishes.

35. Joshua Graham

Pulls out lectures about redemption and changing your ways every time you forget to turn a light off or leave the door unlocked. Insanely judgmental for a guy who believes in loving thy neighbor.

34. Rose of Sharon Cassidy

Rarely sober, and often trying to encourage you to join her in inebriation. Will hold your hair back when you puke, and will make you late and hungover for work.

33. Strong

Judgmental of any change in his environment, be it furniture, climate, or guests, and unafraid of voicing that disgruntlement immediately. Totally willing to share any of his food in the fridge, even if half of it is expired.

32. Dean Domino

Elitist mild talent who will drag you to open mic nights just so he can show off how much more accomplished he is than you. Will pick up the tab on dining out rather than do dishes when it's his turn. Doesn't take 'no' for an answer, or at least doesn't take it well. Does have great fashion advice.

31. Porter Gage

Cleanliness standards do not match yours, but he's got a knack for repairs and will fix anything in your living space that breaks, including minor welding projects. Needs to be reminded to shower. Unwilling to take a stance on anything from politics to which side of the toilet paper roll should be facing out, and will dump the blame on you if anyone has any complaints.

30. Cait

Fiercely protective of you once she's warmed up to you, but fiercely defends her own personal space, too. Cleanliness standards don't match yours, and occasionally needs to be reminded to shower. Often aggressively drunk and cries a lot over small things, but makes up for it by having your back whenever you're having a bad day, especially if that means kicking someone's ass. Also needs therapy, but she at least acknowledges it.

29. Mayor John Hancock

Laid back, new best friend material, provided you're willing to overlook some big character flaws. Shares everything he has in the fridge, cupboards, closets, provided you ask first - heaven help you if you don't. Invites friends over for wild parties without giving you advance warning. They're good parties, but they're always on bad nights for you, and the aftermath mess never gets cleaned up fast enough. Knows every drug dealer within 50 miles on a first-name basis.

28. Robert Joseph MacCready

Cleanliness standards are not the same as yours, but it's more of a neatness problem than a general hygiene problem. Will tidy up if asked to, but you're always going to have to ask him to. Shy, slow to trust other people, and insists on paying you back immediately every time you pick up the tab on something. Shares custody of his son with his ex-wife, and you can tell he's a great dad even if he isn't a great roommate. Good cook.

27. Deacon

A total mystery, in both good and bad ways. Knows all the best places in the area to drink. Disappears for up to a week at a time and refuses to tell you where he's been when he finally returns. Eats primarily breakfast cereal. Does not have any social media that you know of, but knows about news and trending topics well before you do. Eclectic fashion sense. Pays rent in cash. You don't even know how old he is. Your friends speculate about his identity to no end.

26. Butch DeLoria

Knows how to cut hair, and he'll do yours for free. Likes to complain for fun using vivid recreations of interactions he's had, which can be entertaining as hell or horribly annoying. Takes over doing the laundry entirely because he's worried about his clothes getting damaged, or maybe he just finds the work soothing. On good terms with his mom, even though she's going through a rough patch. Not a fan of your other friends, no matter who you introduce him to.

25. Christine Royce

You know she has a social life, but she seems determined not to share it with you. She's even more tight-lipped about her family life, so much so that you think maybe she's cut ties. What she lacks in openness she makes up for in organization skills and thoughtfulness - the fridge and cupboards are clean, her things are neat, and she'll make late-night breakfast food if you're feeling hungry after an evening out. Has night terrors, but won't talk about them outside of her therapist's office.

24. Follows-Chalk

Avid camper who likes to take long trips into the wilderness and return with the best pictures you've ever seen of national park landmarks. Self-sufficient when doing chores, but seems a little clueless about social etiquette, even if he's eager to make friends. Willing to talk to just about anyone he meets, including scary bikers in dive bars, transient people outside grocery stores, even postal workers who are just trying to deliver your mail. Remembers all of their names. Gives the best birthday presents.

23. Charon

Ex-military who seems to regret it, even if it got him out of a bad living situation. Quiet, well-read, and a little scary when he needs to be if the neighbors or landlord are being unreasonable. Glued to your side if you go out anywhere because he refuses to mingle with anyone he doesn't already know. Doesn't drink, but if you catch him after 2 a.m., he'll talk for hours about anything from hitchhiking to deep sea exploration to the Cold War. Mysterious past, and after you part ways, a mysterious future.

22. Old Longfellow

The foul-mouthed, devil-may-care grandfather you and your friends never had. Doesn't want to be bothered unless it's an emergency, but it's fun to bother him anyway and see what new insults he'll invent just to tell you to fuck off. Can de-bone a fish, peel a crustacean, and rustle up a chowder faster than any line cook you've ever met, and he gets a discount from every stand at the farmer's market for unknown reasons. Lost his wife a while back, and it's clear he really loved her and respected her. Can out-drink you and everyone you know. Disappears every year for deer hunting season.

21. Craig Boone

Another ex-military who still lives like his superiors are around the corner and are going to critique how he made his bed and cleaned the bathroom. Doesn't really regret his service, but doesn't NOT regret it - you can't get a good reading on his feelings, and it's complicated by the fact that whatever he did was pretty classified. Doesn't seem to associate with many of his former division, at any rate. Makes great stir fry, knows all the best pair workout routines to lose fat and build muscle, and has lots of non-specific stories about traveling around the world. His last break-up was very painful and he WILL bring it up. Might have PTSD, but he's in denial about it.

20. Piper Wright

Easily consumed by her latest writing project and may forget to feed herself or go outside. When she does remember to go outside, she disappears for long stretches of time and comes back with the craziest stories, which are great material for re-telling at parties. Nosy as all hell, and doesn't have many friends as a result, so she's appreciative of those who stick around anyway and tosses you the latest neighborhood gossip if you ask for it. Primary caretaker for her little sister, who's still in middle school and got you into watching the Owl House.

19. Raul Alfonso Tejada

Keeps to himself, unless there's some kind of tangible project he can tackle that brings him into the shared living spaces. Adopts random furniture on the street and brings the pieces home to refurbish, then sell online. Fixed one broken washing machine on a whim and somehow got hired as the building handyman, which knocks some money off your rent. Addicted to reality television. Refuses to join any of your group chats, and half of your other friends don't even think he's real.

18-15. All of the Dogs

Basic dog roommates. Give walks and food, receive unconditional love and protection. Rex still doesn't like people with hats.

14. Paladin Danse

Current military service member, and proud of it. Still, not afraid to call others in his line of work on their bullshit. Doesn't really get the whole roommate bonding thing unless it's done on a local sports team or in a camp obstacle course, but he knows how to be civil and keep his living spaces neat and clean. Gym rat who will try to rope you into going too, so much so that he's willing to lie and say you're in a relationship to get you on his own membership pass. Always looks great in photos, and half your friends want to seduce him.

13. Nick Valentine

Witty, low-maintenance guy who's easy to befriend. Runs a private investigation business online and will occasionally have clients over in the living room, in varying degrees of distress. Always lets you know ahead of time, is always understanding if it isn't a good time for you to deal with that, and will move his operations to the local coffee shop if asked. Insomniac. Owns multiple sets of the same outfit, but is still a snappy dresser. Buys donuts if there's a sale. Suspicious of anyone you bring home.

12. Arcade Israel Gannon

Anxious, but manages it. Doesn't set out to be friends, and it might take a bit of poking before he decides to give you a shot and get to know you better. Shy, occasionally judgmental, and needs to be convinced to give others the benefit of the doubt. Hates ordering out and prefers to cook for himself, and he'll happily share if it's a new recipe he's trying out. Physically incapable of sleeping in. Well-read to the point of getting annoyed at random strangers online because he knows they're wrong, but refuses to comment and correct them and would rather stew.

11. Codsworth

Polite, neat, model roommate to brag about to your friends. Does cleaning chores for fun, often right before you had planned to do them. Clingy, worries about you when you go out, texts to check in way too much. Permanent designated driver, and viciously guards the best macaroni and cheese recipe you've ever had. Loves Downton Abbey and Bridgerton.

10. Curie

Still figuring herself out, and she's happy to enlist you in the process as her new best friend. You think she might be home-schooled with how little she knows about the wide world, but she embraces each new experience fully, with the enthusiasm of a duck in a puddle. Suggests trying a new restaurant every time you order food, tips delivery drivers way more than normal, and insists on doing the dishes as soon as they're dirtied. Dances like nobody's watching while she's vacuuming.

9. Veronica Santangelo

Set out to share a living space in order to get away from her family and a recent failed relationship. Honest and open about all of that, and about how she's hopeful she can move on. Participates in a local boxing club and roller derby team, and most of her wardrobe consists of sweatshirts and yoga pants. Content to lounge, eat popcorn in front of cheesy romantic comedies, pick out the worst dialogue with you, and run it into the ground over the next week. Also loves to go fancy clothes shopping, and books reservations at an upscale restaurant once every few months in order to justify the money she drops on Depop.

8. Star Paladin Cross

Legacy buzz cut lesbian who may or may not have military service under her belt. Either way, she's fit as fuck and hasn't slowed down her social life just because she's getting older. Well-known in the local community as a Pride event organizer and activist, tends a box garden outside one of the nearby churches, and jogs every morning to stay in shape and say hi to everyone she cares about. Often has guests over unannounced, but they're all upstanding members of the community and usually come with a bag of produce to stuff in your fridge.

7. Waking Cloud

Older than the rest of your friend group, but she's perfectly happy being out of the loop on the latest fad. Sweet and caring. Has three grown children who drop by now and then to catch up with her and get to know you over tea. Certified doula who disappears overnight occasionally on an assignment, but she always texts to let you know she's okay. Great cook. Demanding cleaning schedule. Will mom the shit out of you.

6. ED-E

Doesn't say much, and doesn't need to. Television addict who can spend hours binging every new show on Netflix. Works for the local post office and is on good terms with just about everybody you know. Insists on carrying all your bags if you go shopping together. Can't cook for shit, but can do all the other chores better than almost any other roommate you've had.

5. Ada

Kind, practical, and solution-oriented. Just as willing to listen to you vent as she is to unclog the sink. Interested in tech that can make your lives easier, which led to her purchasing a high-end security system and a Roomba. You're a little worried that the upgraded tech is spying on you, but you're also pretty sure that she's tinkered with it to the point that it's no longer connected to any corporate networks. You're unsure of the legality surrounding that, so you stay out of it. Loves to travel for sightseeing and watches MythBusters on repeat.

4. X6-88

Strong, silent type. Answered the ad with three months' rent ready to go, plus the security deposit just in case. A little socially awkward, but in a way that makes people give him a second glance. Follows a strict diet and won't deviate, even for special occasions. Organized to the point of eyebrow-raising. Will eventually open up about his control-freak beginnings, and grow more and more loyal in his friendship as he shares. Wears a lot of black sweaters, and looks damn good in them. Can't stand pet fur though, and he'll go through a lint roller a week if you come in with a dog or a cat.

3. Fawkes

Works night shift as a security guard, so his days are largely free. Volunteers at the local library and reads every book under the sun. Always has the best YouTube recommendations for you, and pulls the best recipes to try out off of TikTok. Mildly clumsy and may break some dishes, but he'll apologize and replace them if it happens. Bleeding heart animal lover who will temporarily adopt any strays he finds, which is usually adorable but can be stressful.

2. Preston Garvey

Stays out of your business, unless you ask for his help, in which case he throws his everything into backing you up. Volunteers at the local homeless shelter and food pantry, and still makes time to join you for movie night with pizza and the latest Marvel release.

1. Lily Bowen

Your new grandma. Literally everyone in town loves her. Will make you breakfast in bed on weekends and chicken noodle soup when you're sick. Bakes constantly. Makes the best cookies. Turns cleaning chores and grocery shopping into a game, and runs a book club and knitting circle out of your living room. All her grandma friends love you too, and they keep trying to set you up with their grandchildren.

[nothingbutfangirlsmut]

Dean Fucking Winchester

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Shy/Virgin!Reader

Rated: MATURE! 18+ ONLY!! (DOM/SUB, VIRGIN, DIRTY TALK, UNPROTECTED SEX, ROUGH SEX, PRAISE, ORAL)

Requested by: Anonymous

“Hi, I saw that your requests were open so I was wondering if you could do one with a shy virgin female reader who has had feelings for Dean Winchester for quite some time and is a sub but doesn't know it until her and Dean start..... You know.... Doing it.... If you know what I mean. I didn't want to restrict it to much so I know its kinda vague but could you also make her a little innocent? Like rarely even touches herself innocent? Doesn't have a single idea how to do anything and is hesitate to touch him because she's scared he won't like it?”

I got a bit carried away with this one considering it’s over 4,000 words lol buuut I hope you like it and I might make this a series!

I had known the Winchesters most of my life but only lived and worked with them for about a year. I was raised as a hunter just as they were that's how I had met them. After John's death we had went several years without seeing each other only to randomly run into them a little over a year ago. After joining them on a hunt I was brought to their bunker where I've stayed ever since.

I was a good 15 years younger than the older Winchester brother and 11 years younger than Sam. Even with the age gap between us they still treated me like anyone else. They didn't look at me like I was a child. I was their college and friend.

I'd spent many nights helping Sam sift through books and every internet page known to man. I'd spent other nights drinking beer, eating cheese burgers, and teaching Dean how to make my grandmother's mouth watering pies. I adored both men in two completely different ways. Sam was more like a brother to me while Dean was the farthest thing from a brother imaginable.

Ever since I was a kid I'd had what I thought was a playground crush on Dean. I didn't think much of it due to us not seeing each other for a very long time. Now that I'm around him every single day I've come to realize it's not a crush or anything of the sort. At least it's not anymore. It's turned into full blown pathetic lust perhaps even more than that. I've been good at burying it for the most part. Well, it was all fine until Dean and I were left alone in the bunker. Sam had told us he'd be gone for about a week and if we needed him to call.

Day 1 and 2 were normal days but everything changed on day 3. I was in the kitchen in the middle of cooking dinner when Dean came into the room with several bags on his arms. I raised a brow at him as I watched him set the bags down then slowly empty each one. It was alcohol. I noticed we were running low on beer. Dean must have noticed too and went on a beer run but he had more than beer. There was at least three bottles of dark liquor too.

"Looks like you have busy plans for the evening." I joked turning back to the food.

He chuckled softly as he put the bottles away.

"I was actually thinking we could have an actual drink with dinner. Something stronger than beer. God knows I need it." He said.

I quietly finished dinner then made us both a plate. I sat his plate in front of him then sat in the seat beside him. He pushed a glass of ice and dark liquid towards me. We ate silently as usual. When he finished his food he looked around me towards the stove. I chuckled knowing what he was looking for.

"It's in the oven." I told him with a smile.

"Is it done?" He asked softly.

"Yes Dean, It's done go get a piece." I chuckled shaking my head at him.

The smile that took over his features was childlike as he made for the oven. He used the hand towel on the counter to pull the homemade pie out of the oven then cut himself a piece. After we wee both completely done eating we moved to the couch with our glasses and a bottle of scotch. Dean refilled each of our glasses the moment they were empty. It wasn't until the bottle was almost empty that I started to feel the familiar warm buzz throughout my body as my head cleared of thought.

I didn't think about the drinking being a problem until it was too late. Every time I actually got a buzz or more my filter evaporated, my confidence sky rocketed, and I got handsy.

After Dean filled my glass again I moved myself closer to him. I turned sideways propping my arm up on the couch behind him. I was so close my chest was against his arm. He didn't seem to mind the close proximity.

"Which one of the pies are your favorite?" I slurred.

He took a sip of his drink then turned his head to look at me. It was then I realized how close we actually were. When we were staring at each other our faces were a few inches apart. He slowly liked his lips as he thought about my question. Don't be stupid (Y/N).

"I think all of them are equally delicious. Anything you cook is delicious." He said with a small smile.

My heart hammered in my chest. My eyes moved to his lips as he licked them again. I didn't realize what I was doing until I was in Dean's lap attacking his lips. My hands held each side of his face as I kissed him furiously. My tongue pushing into his mouth. I was elated when I heard him moan into the kiss. His hands grabbed my waist tightly.

"Wait" Dean said against my lips.

I couldn't wait. I'd been dying to do this for far too long.

"(Y/N), stop" he said pushing me back slightly.

I pulled away more looking down at him. My head was fuzzier and starting spin. I may have drank too much. I shook my head clearing it. If I didn't do this now I never would. I pouted down at him.

"You're drunk" he said simply.

"So, not like I'd ever do this sober." I shrugged as I slurred my words.

His grip on my hips tightened.

"Yea, of course, no reason to tease an old man." He grumbled.

I barely picked up on what he meant but I did get it. I lightly slapped his chest.

"Nooo silly, this is the only way I'd have the confidence to make a move. Sober me is waaaay too scared of rejection from such a godly man to even attempt." I told him slowly.

He looked at me with clear confusion on his face which made me chuckle. I leaned closer until my nose was brushing against his.

"You're Dean fucking Winchester. Sexiest man to ever walk the earth how could I not want you?" I asked.

My eyes felt heavier as I swayed slightly. I clung to him as he suddenly stood up.

"You're drunk (Y/N). You don't mean anything of this." He said as he walked towards the bedrooms while carrying me.

"What! Of course I do!" I shouted louder than I meant to.

He opened my bedroom door then gently laid me on my bed. The softness enveloped me immediately.

"Get some rest" He said softly then covered me up.

I was asleep before he closed the door behind him. When I woke up the next morning my head was pounding and I was incredibly nauseous. I sat up slowly trying to figure out how the hell I got to bed. The last thing I remember was sitting on the couch watching TV with Dean. What happened? I got up then slowly made my way to the kitchen where I found Dean with coffee and breakfast. I sat down at the table resting my head in my hands. Two small pills were suddenly put in front of me on the table. I looked up as Dean was setting a fresh cup of coffee in front of me.

"Take those you'll feel better." He gestured to the pills.

"Thanks" I mumbled.

After I down the pills he sat a plate in front of me that turned my stomach. I grimaced pushing it away from me.

"Eat it'll help the nausea." He said sternly as he sat next to me.

"How did you know I'm nauseous?" I asked quietly.

"Because I know what a hangover looks and feels like. I also saw how drunk you were last night so assumed it'd be a bad one this morning." He shrugged.

I groaned.

"How bad was I?" I asked ready for the embarrassment.

"Well you were in my lap making out with me pretty hard. When I tried to stop you you got all pouty. Then proceed to tell me how I was the sexiest man to ever walk the earth." He gave me a small amused smile but his eyes were saying something different.

I felt the blood drain from my face at his words. I made out with him? I was in his lap? The thought instantly heated my cheeks. Why did I ever drink around him? I usually never let myself get past a light buzz.

"I'm sorry" I squeaked out.

He chuckled.

"It's cool, I didn't let you get far. I knew sober you would never be trying to get with an old man like me." He said with the same smile and look in his eyes.

"What?" I asked snapping my head up to look at him.

"Let's face it (Y/N), a pretty young woman like you would never choose to go for an older man like me. I'm what, 15 years older than you?" He asked trying to look amused but I could see right through it.

"Wh- why would you think that?" I asked as I stared down at my plate.

My body trembled as it heated up in embarrassment. I can't talk about this especially not with him. All it would take is a little two letter word to shatter my whole being.

"I just do. That's why you said you'd never being doing that if you were sober." He shrugged nonchalantly.

I scoffed. Idiot.

"That's not what I meant." I mumbled.

"What?" He asked raising a brow at me.

"Nothing, it's nothing" I said shoving my seat back to stand.

"(Y/N)" He said grabbing my hand.

I froze in my spot but didn't look at him.

"If there's something you need to talk about you can tell me. It's never good to bury things. I've been there done that." He said softly.

"You probably wouldn't believe me." I said keeping my head turned away from him.

"What's bothering you?" He asked tugging slightly on my hand.

I sighed. Pulling my hand from his I sat back down but kept my attention on the table.

"I- um, well, drunk me is honest me." I said softly.

I didn't think he heard me since he didn't reply. I glanced up to see a look of confusion on his chiseled features.

"What do you mean?" He asked finally.

I played with my fingers nervously trying to will the confidence to tell him the truth.

"What exactly did I say last night?" I asked him.

"Well, you called me a godly man then, and I quote, 'You're Dean fucking Winchester. Sexiest man to ever walk the earth how could I not want you?'" He answered.

The heat in my face returned. Well, I wasn't wrong but I can't believe I actually said that.

"At least drunk me is good at telling the truth." I mumbled.

I suddenly felt his fingers under my chin. He turned my head forcing me to look at him.

"One more time but a little louder sweet heart." He said softly.

I blushed deeper at the nickname. It was unfair how much of an effect he had on me. Even more unfair that I couldn't muster up the guts to tell him the truth. I stared at his green eyes wishing I could just blurt it out and get it over with. But the thought alone of him rejecting me made me want to burst into tears.

"What I said last night.. it was.. it was the truth." I said slowly forcing the words out.

Surprise took over his features. He let go of my chin as he sat back in his chair.

"You honestly think that about me?" He asked quietly.

I nodded unsure if I could make myself speak right now. Dean suddenly got to his feet then grabbed my arm pulling me up as well. He turned me to face him pulling me slightly closer to him but not too close. It was enough to make my heart pound and my breathing hitch.

"Why would you want me? Compared to you I'm an old man." he said scrunching his face in disbelief.

A sudden wave of confidence washed over me as I grabbed his shirt. I didn't given myself time to think about what I was doing so I couldn't stop myself. I pulled him down crashing my lips against his. He didn't hesitate to his me back just as fiercely. My entire body lit up like a Christmas tree. Every nerve came to life and every hair was at attention. It was pure electric. I gasped in surprise as he suddenly lifted me off the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist as I pulled him even closer. I huffed when my back was shoved against a wall. His tongue slipped into my mouth causing me to moan into the kiss. He suddenly pulled back resting his forehead against mine. I was already a panting mess. My body reacted to him in a way no other man had ever made me feel. I craved him everything about him. I wanted it all. I needed it all.

"There's plenty men your age that would be better for you." He said breathlessly.

"Not a damn one of them make me feel like you do." I answered honestly.

"No one could leave you breathless like this?" He asked as his green eyes darkened.

I shook my head.

"No one even came close to getting a go at it." I told him.

I felt him stiffen suddenly.

"No, no, there's no way you're a virgin." He said in disbelief.

I scoffed.

"Why is that so hard to believe?" I asked him.

"Because you're fucking gorgeous and almost 30. What moron wouldn't have went for you?" He asked tightening his hold on my thighs.

"Plenty of men tried to get it but they were never good enough to get that far." I told him with a shrug.

"And I am?" I asked raising a brow.

"If you'd shut up then yes." I rolled my eyes at him.

He suddenly sat my feet back on the floor. My whole demeanor changed. Why did I have to tell him that? He didn't need to know until later. Dammit. To my surprise he grabbed my hand pulling me behind him through the bunker until we stopped outside of his bedroom. He opened the door then gently pushed me inside. I sat on the edge of the bed ringing my hands together again. What am I doing? I have no clue how to do any of this. I could never please him. The bed dipped behind me then I felt his warm body against my back. He gently brushed my hair to one side out of the way.

"I need to know what you have or haven't done." He whispered close to my ear.

His breath fanned out over my neck causing goosebumps. I gulped unsure if I should tell him the truth. What would he think?

"Nothing" I whispered.

I squealed as I was pulled backwards. I fell back on the bed as Dean hovered over me. I noticed he had taken his shirt off and that sight alone and me throbbing between my thighs.

"Nothing? You've never messed around with anyone at all? Not even yourself?" He asked as disbelief took over his features again.

I blushed at the question. I'm such an idiot. I shook my head. He sighed but moved his head closer.

"You have to use words baby. I have to know." He whispered against my lips.

"I've, um, touched my- myself once or twice but I didn't really get anywhere." I told him then quickly turned my head away.

He grabbed my chin forcing me to look at him. He licked his lips slowly as he stared down at me.

"Jesus (Y/N), I mean I thought you were innocent but damn." He said with a small smile.

I grabbed the back of his neck pulling him closer. My lips were brushing against his.

"I don't want to be innocent anymore Dean." I whispered.

A small quiet groan left his lips right before he kissed me. My hands went into his hair as his large hands slipped under my shirt to rest against my abdomen. The areas of my skin that his hands touched burned causing me to hiss. I didn't know if it was suppose to be this intense or if it was just Dean. I heard myself whimper as he pulled away. He sat up the played with the hem of my shirt for a moment.

"Take this off" He said tugging on my shirt.

I sat up immediately pulling the fabric over my head and tossing it to the floor.

"Bra too" he added as he watched me.

I swallowed my nerves back doing as he said. I tried not to think about his eyes on me. That was easier said then done because I could feel them soaking me in. I laid back on the bed as I was before. Forcing myself not to cover my chest.

"Good girl" He cooed as he leaned down to hover over me again.

A pulse shot through my body going straight to my core. A moaned softly escaped my lips making Dean chuckle. He kissed me again slower this time and deeper. His hands slowly roamed the naked top half of my body until they stopped at my breasts. I gasped as he squeezed both of them. His lips moved to my jaw then made a trailed down to my chest. I was panting already with all the different sensations he was making me experience. I cried out as his mouth closed around my nipple. He sucked, licked, and nibble at it then moved to the other one doing the same.

"Shit Dean" I panted.

I felt him smirk against my skin.

"I haven't even started baby girl." He said in a smooth deep voice.

My head fell back against the pillow. My body already trembled from his touch or maybe it was the anticipation of what was to come. I bit my lip as he moved to my jeans. He made quick work of them. Taking them and my panties off in one quick motion. I was now completely naked and at his mercy. He went back to my breasts to leave another trail of kisses and soft bites from my chest to my thighs. By the time he positioned himself between my legs I was a panting, writhing, ready to beg mess.

"I want to hear you baby girl. Can you be a good girl and let me hear all those pretty noises?" He asked his breath hitting my sensitive nerve making me whimper.

"Yes" I panted as a thrilling chill went through me.

Dean propped himself up to look me in the eyes.

"Yes what?" He asked in a menacing tone.

The throbbing between my thighs instantly turned into an ache. My mind came to a screeching halt at his question. I had no idea what he wanted. What was I suppose to say? I must have looked like a deer in headlights because he chuckled as he moved back up my body until his face was an inch from mine. His hand gently wrapped around my neck keeping me in place. My eyes fluttered closed.

"We'll start with sir." He said softly.

I opened my eyes instantly connecting with his much darker ones.

"You'll call me sir when we are in this bed." He whispered then nipped at my neck with his teeth.

I moaned arching my back into him. Desire pulsed through my veins like liquid fire.

"Yes sir" I said quietly as a pulse went straight through my body.

Why did this feel so good? What was happening? Dean kissed me then disappeared down my body until he was back between my thighs. I licked my suddenly dry lips as I watched him.

"Fuck" I groaned as his hands pulled my folds open to reveal every bit of me to him.

"Look you already fucking soaked." He said breathlessly.

I fisted the sheets as he licked a slow teasing strip from my entrance to my clit. My breathing was shallow. I tried to focus but as his tongue and mouth attached directly to me I cried out as my mind went fuzzy. My hands instinctively went to his head. He groaned against me making my hips buck upwards.

"Holy shit" I panted as my eyes rolled back.

His tongue continued it's assault until my whole body convulsed. My back came off the bed as I cried out loud. Dean's tongue was replaced quickly with his fingers making me hiss fisting the sheets tighter.

"Don't hold it in baby girl. Let go" He said watching me intently.

His fingers moved even faster. Something in me snapped as my mouth opened into a silent moan. My body shook as Dean moved his fingers faster.

"That's it, good girl, cum for me." He said with a mischievous grin.

I panted as my body fell limp against the mattress. Dean laughed as he moved back up my body. Each kiss he placed against my skin had my stomach erupting with butterflies. There was nothing like him. Nothing I've ever experienced that would even come close.

"I'm not done yet baby girl." He breathed.

I watched as he quickly rid himself of his pants and boxers. His erection sprang free and I felt my eyes go wide at the sight. How the hell was I suppose to take all of that? He was huge! He smirked as he climbed back onto the bed. He grabbed my thighs pulling me closer to the center of the mattress.

"I'll be easy (Y/N) but you have to use your words and tell me if it's too much. Do you understand?" He asked as he used his knees to open my legs wider.

"Yes sir" I answered nodding.

The smile that took over his features had me choking on my heart.

"Good girl" he cooed against my neck.

Each time he uttered those words a shock of pleasure went through me. I wasn't sure what it meant but god did I like the way it felt. My body tingled in excitement as he lined himself up at my entrance.

"Oh god" I moaned as he rubbed his tip against me.

I hissed throwing my head back and fisting the sheets as he slowly and pushed inside. The pain was like nothing I'd ever felt. He stopped moving making me pant and glance down where we were connected. He wasn't even halfway in yet. I groaned internally at the thought.

"This is gonna hurt." He said softly.

He leaned down and gave me a searing kiss that made my mind go blank and fuzzy. As he started to pepper my neck with kisses he pulled out slightly then pushed back in. I cried out at the sudden pain. It was dulled instantly by Dean's feverishly assault on my neck. When he stopped again I couldn't stop the groan that left my lips. I felt like I would burst I was so full. Dean's breath was ragged against my skin.

"You okay?" He asked softly.

"Yes sir" I answered nodding as the pain dulled.

At first his movements were slow allowing me the time I needed. His hands grabbed mine tangling our fingers together on each side of my head. The moment a low drawn out moan escaped me is the moment he slammed into me. I cried out clutching onto Dean like my life depended on it. He let go of my hands to grab my lips thighs. He pulled them higher holding them tightly as he started to thrust hard and deep. I bit my lip trying my best to keep myself together.

“I want to hear you baby girl. Scream for me.” Dean said with a particularly hard thrust.

I cried out letting every filthy sound fall from lips just as he commanded. Commanded. Why was it so hot when he told me what to do?

“Fu- fuck” I panted trying to catch my breath.

“That’s a good girl. You’re taking me so well.” He said softly contradicting the harsh slaps of his hips.

My body tensed as my back came off the. With a scream of his name I felt the coil in me release. A sound that was part groan and part growl came out of him right before he stilled. I was gasping for breath as he cursed under his breath then fell next to me. My entire body tingled and ached. I’m sure I’d feel this for days.

“Shit” I panted as I tried to catch my breath.

Dean chuckled. He pulled me against his chest.

“You didn’t tell me you were that submissive. Fuck that was sexy.” He laughed.

“Submissive?” I asked not looking at him.

I felt ridiculous for not know what he was talking about.

“You take orders well. You like to be told what to do or controlled.” He said softly.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I was.” I said quietly trying to hide the embarrassed blush that filled my cheeks.

“Don’t worry baby girl I’m gonna teach you so much.” He kissed my neck.

—

Requests are open!!

—

[thegeminisage]

john abused both dean AND sam, just differently. in this essay i will

prove that the abuse manifested in different ways for each of them because that’s how abuse works in real life. this is based on the fact that john saw dean as mary’s surrogate but once he found out about the deal and sam having demon blood he blamed sam for her death. ok let’s fucking go

dean as mary’s surrogate

there are loads of parallels made between dean and mary in early season spn and late season spn. in season 12 dean directly calls himself sam’s mother, but even earlier than that we see him doing the cooking and child rearing. compare that to all the parallels made between sam and john (both of them losing their blonde woman significant others in a ceiling fire) and it’s clear that dean was meant to more resemble mary. it’s not a stretch to say that if we can see it as viewers this is how john saw it in his actual life. i do think john loves dean for being dean but he loves him more for being mary.

sam as the reason behind mary’s death

i think once john learned that sam had demon blood, some part of him must have always been waiting for the other shoe to drop with sam, not ever fully believing this kid was human, and maybe not even knowing if this kid was HIS. a popular theory back in the day was that YED fathered sam (something they had to actually address in season 4 to stop the speculation), and if WE speculated that hard, surely john must have too. i’m sure he loves sam as an extension of mary, and keeps and raises and protects him BECAUSE he’s mary’s, but similarly (or maybe inverse) to dean, i don’t know if he ever fully gave himself permission to love sam for being sam. in fact, i imagine john harbors a lot of self-loathing for failing to save mary. if we directly parallel john and sam, that means by some extent he would also hate sam.

john trusted dean with far too much, and sam with far too little

dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. dean had memories of their mother and the night she died, and shared that trauma of watching her die with john; sam didn’t. dean knew when john was supposed to be home and who to call if he wasn’t; sam didn’t. dean was given the money and the guns and the CAR ITSELF; sam wasn’t. dean was taught to drive; SAM WASN’T. 

dean was expected to do everything john was supposed to have been doing in his absence - he was to be a mother and father to sam, he was supposed to protect sam from evil, he was supposed to see to sam’s meals and homework and getting to school on time. and he was put under an EXTRAORDINARY amount of pressure not to screw this up even a little bit, despite the fact that he was only a kid. sam on the other hand was kept on a strict need-to-know basis for his entire life, right up until season 1 when they reunite at last. john didn’t trust sam with ANYTHING, and sam knew it. this contributed to his lifelong anger issues because he didn’t DO anything to warrant that kind of mistrust and probably got gaslit about it a lot of times either by john himself or dean (unknowingly, by parroting/believing the things john said). even in the pilot sam says very casually of his mother “she’s gone,” because her memory doesn’t hold the same place of reverence for him - best guess is that john didn’t talk about her much to sam because he didn’t trust sam with emotional stuff either. in s14 we learn that dean was the one who told sam stories about mary, including her terrible casserole - and their attempt at recreating it infuriated john to the point of him throwing the entire concoction in the trash.

john relied on dean for everything, and refused to rely on sam for anything

canonically dean was the one who comforted john after a bad hunt, looked after and fed his brother when john wasn’t around. dean knew how to use a shotgun; sam didn’t. dean knew who to call in an emergency; sam didn’t. dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. this was done under the guise of “protection for sammy” but turn it around and it’s also protection FROM sammy. think of how angry john gets when he learns sam has been having psychic visions. he’s not just angry that dean didn’t report it to him, he’s angry that the demon’s plans for sam are coming to pass, and that sam is becoming less human. again, he can’t TRUST sam if sam’s not human, and it proves to john that he was right all along to keep sam in the dark as much as possible.

john gave dean too much freedom, and sam no freedom at all

“watch out for sammy.” sam was under constant supervision by either dean or john; john made sure of it. again, it’s protection FOR sam but also protection FROM him, in case he did something inhuman or evil. dean on the other hand was left alone without any supervision at all for days or even weeks at a time - he resorts to stealing bread and peanut butter and (according to jackles) turning tricks for money. he had to make it work and got up to whatever the fuck he wanted when john wasn’t looking. sam had to LITERALLY run away from home before he got the simple pleasure of eating pizza and having a dog by himself, independently. dean was given too much independence and freedom but sam was kept on such a short leash he had none at all.

john made dean feel unworthy, and he made sam feel unclean

when dean fails to protect sam from the shtriga in the season 1 flashbacks, he says his dad looked at him differently after. he also implies that john physically beat him when sam ran away in flagstaff. whether he meant to or not, john made it abundantly clear that his love for dean was not unconditional; it depended very much on how well dean performed the multitude of tasks john assigned him. dean grew up believing that his only worth was in what he could do for other people. he demonstrates this an an adult over and over and over, from letting his possessed family members beat him up to refusing to take care of his own needs, emotional and otherwise, and snapping at people who try to talk to him about his own feelings.

on the other hand, sam talks in season 8 about how even at a very young age he felt impure and unclean, even before he knew that he had demon blood, even before he knew that there was any such thing as monsters. kids aren’t stupid, and sam picked up on the vibes john was putting off - that john didn’t trust him, might not have loved him, and might not have considered him human or even his own child. without even knowing why, he spent his entire life feeling unclean and inhuman, not worth of being loved by his own family. even dean, who we all know loves sam unconditionally, admits in season 14 that he often took dad’s side on arguments because he had “his own stuff,” further leading to the alienation that was sam’s constant companion growing up. 

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY:

JOHN’S ABUSE PITTED SAM AND DEAN AGAINST EACH OTHER

john saved dean after their shared trauma of mary’s death. dean says in season 1 that the reason he stopped talking was that he was scared. iirc john’s journal implies he was mute for over a year, and dean in season 2 says that when he was 6 or 7 his dad took him shooting for the first time. if mary died just before dean’s fifth birthday, the timeline works out to dean talking again because john took him shooting. i believe that dean hero worships his father because after mary’s death, and dealing with the terror that something like that could come in and take his family away by killing them horribly at any time without any warning, john learning to fight back against the darkness - and teaching dean to do the same - is what gave dean his voice again. BOTH of them saw and carried the memory of mary burning on the ceiling for the rest of their lives. “watch out for sammy” and “get the thing that killed mom” were dean’s reasons to get up in the morning, because they were john’s reasons to get up in the morning. these things were LITERALLY his reasons for living. john gave dean a way to fight back against fear and gave him a cause to keep him going. abuse or not, dean never stopped being grateful for that, and he was the only other person in the whole world who understood the unique horror of what john went through that night. even all the way into season 10, he tells other people that john did right by him. it’s borderline brainwashing. part of dean’s self-worth will always be based on how good of a son he was to john.

on the other hand, knowingly or not, john did everything possible to alienate sam. he kept him on a short leash while also keeping him at arm’s distance. he didn’t trust sam with emotional things like the memory of mary, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about monsters and what they did for a living, he didn’t trust sam with his plans, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about demon blood. canon STRONGLY suggests john knew YED bled in sam’s mouth as a baby, but instead of telling sam or even dean about that, sam had to learn about it in a horrible flashback recreated by YED himself. when sam wanted to go to school, john told him no, and when he left anyway, john told him not to come back.

this is an equal but opposite kind of abuse. john totally fucked up BOTH his kids in complete inversions to each other.

which means that, no matter what john did, it caused sam and dean to fight. this isn’t an interpretation. this is straight up canon.

again, dean says in s14 that he frequently took dad’s side in arguments because he had his own stuff to deal with, and he was trying to keep the peace. dean, a victim of emotional (and implied sometimes physical) abuse himself, was not able to shield sam from all of john’s bullshit. he could stop sam from getting hit and having to see john during the worst of his drunken rages, but he couldn’t trick sam into thinking john loved him unconditionally, because john didn’t love either of his kids unconditionally.

when john acted in a way that was not befitting of a parent, sam rightfully took exception, which forced dean (who was ALSO BEING ABUSED, almost brainwashed) to jump to his defense. that led to john getting to do whatever the hell he wanted and sam and dean arguing about the effects. when sam ran away in flagstaff, DEAN was punished, leading dean to resenting sam for that incursion, even though sam was perfectly right to want to get away from an abusive household. when sam did a normal thing wanting to leave for college at age 18, he left, and dean resented him for that because that meant he was alone to bear the brunt of john’s anger. 

sam repeatedly made logical, emotionally healthy choices in attempting to break the family dynamic, but because of JOHN’S BEHAVIOR, not sam’s, those choices wound up causing dean harm. JOHN HIMSELF was the ultimate wedge between sam and dean growing up and beyond.

and let’s not forget the biggest sin - john spent 22 years impressing upon dean that taking care of sammy was EVERYTHING, and then without any explanation at all, he asked dean to kill him, and then he DIED, which meant dean had to carry that weight by himself (because again, he’s been trained not to trust sam with things). like of COURSE sam got angry when he found out - that’s fucking fucked up! once again sam is being treated like a ticking time bomb for absolutely no reason - he didn’t ask to have demon blood or psychic visions or a dead mom or an abusive father. nor did dean ask to be saddled with the upbringing of an entire human at four years old who he then might have to kill. because dean will always feel gratitude towards john, and sam will always feel resentment, and because based on john’s treatment of them BOTH OF THESE FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED, john continues to cause fights between sam and dean long after he’s dead and gone, and that will never change.

on a final note: i’d like to bring this around to season 13.

after cas, mary, kelly, and crowley all die (or are presumed dead in mary’s case) in the season 12 finale, season 13 opens with nobody but sam and dean and jack. dean directly blames jack for these deaths. he says so multiple times. he says where jack can hear him that he knows jack is evil and impure and cannot be saved and calls jack a freak. when jack tries repeatedly to kill himself dean says to jack’s face not to bother, because WHEN jack does go bad, dean will be the one to kill him. dean does NOT see jack as castiel’s child - he sees jack as someone who brainwashed cas and kelly both and got them killed. dean does not even see jack as a human person worthy of life. from the get-go, all he wants is to put jack down. jack is born into a world shaped by pain and grief and anger, where people hate him simply for what he is and who died to get him here. 

and again, sam identifies hard with jack. he justifiably protests dean’s treatment of him. jack is a kid and didn’t ask for any of this. jack is terrified of dean. sam reminds dean that john said all these things about sam that dean is saying about jack. john is still causing a rift between his sons over a decade after his death.

eventually, after jack uses his powers and brings back cas from the empty, dean pulls his head out of his ass and admits that he was wrong. he calls jack his kid more than once, and jack refers to dean as one of his dads. but the damage has already been done. jack struggles multiple times with his powers, accidentally hurting people and then wishing himself dead after. he also struggles without them; even when using his powers means using up pieces of his soul, he does it, because dean taught him that he’s only worthy of being loved and trusted if he’s “good.” even when he has NO SOUL, when jack does something bad he panics about it and seeks to undo it at any cost. that’s how deep the damage runs.

i see a lot of people remarking that in the arc of 13.01-13.05, dean became john, and i agree that he did. but dean didn’t do to jack what john did to him. dean did to jack what john did to SAM.

[spn masterpost]

[themoonandotherslikeit]

Breathe - Chapter Nine

After the biggest meeting of her career, Y/N went for a drink and met him. Dean Winchester, the handsome bartender at The Shop, who managed to say all of the right things to soften her hard shell. Was it possible that Y/N was wrong all of this time? Had she spent the better part of 2 decades focusing on her career when there was one man in a city of 18 million that could make her feel more alive than any job ever could? Will she be able to slow down long enough to let herself fall in love with a man that was never a part of the plan? After years of holding her breath, will she finally let herself breathe again?

This story is written for my beautiful and talented friend and beta @dean-winchesters-bacon​, thanks for always inspiring me and supporting my whims. Love you always. Banner by the talented @talesmaniac89

Chapter Nine

Dean

When Dean found out his dad was having another son he was furious. It felt like a replacement. John Winchester had already left Mary and Dean alone and found another woman to create a life with, and now Dean was being replaced, too. A new wife, a new apartment, a new son, a new life. A new life without Dean. He imagined what his little brother would be like, and all he could see at the time was a nightmare creature with sharp teeth that’s entire goal was to rip apart his family.

He wouldn’t participate in the baby shower, he didn’t care to help pick out a name, and since Mary's feelings were hurt so were Dean’s. She tried to hide it, of course, but he heard her crying at night.

It wasn’t until his dad took him to the hospital to meet Sammy that his demeanor changed completely. The squishy, pink skinned baby looked up at him with squinty eyes. He’d been screaming a moment before, but when he locked eyes with Dean he made a cooing noise and reached out a tiny, dimpled hand. There were no teeth, just gums and little purple lips that opened and closed as if he wanted to say something. Dean's heart melted as Sammy’s tiny fist wrapped around his finger, squeezing with Thor's strength.

He was a big brother, and Dean knew the moment Sam looked up at him with sleepy eyes that he would protect him until his last breath.

Thirty some years later he stared at that same kid affectionately on the roof of his law firm in downtown New York City.

“I’ll give you this, Dean, you are a hell of a cook,” Sam said, chewing.

“Glad I can impress.”

“It's a long way from Winchester Surprise.”

“Hey! You liked macaroni and cheese with marshmallows. I never once heard you complain,” Dean said dismissively.

Sam shrugged and smiled softly. “You did your best with what you had.”

“I tried.” Dean looked out to the city. It was getting cooler as autumn crept into view. “How’re things going, Sammy?” he asked, his eyes flickering back to his brother. “You got an asshole for a partner on this case? He leavin’ you to do all the work?”

“I’m not sure what’s going on with her,” Sam said pointedly.

Dean nodded knowingly. “Sorry for assuming. Is she an asshole, then?” He grinned widely at his brother.

“No. She’s…” Sam sighed and Dean's eyebrows shot up in response. Furrowed brows, sad lips, and pinching the bridge of his nose. He knew that damn look.

“You like her.”

“What?”

“I’ve seen that look before, Sam. The only time you get this bent out of shape is when you’re in deep.”

“I’m not…” Sam began, but when he locked eyes with his brother, his resolve dissipated. His face fell into his hands and he let out an exacerbated groan. “I am in deep. I’m in love with her, Dean, and I really don’t know what to do about it.”

Looking at his brother made Dean soften significantly. “Ah, man. Have you told her? You should probably tell her how you feel.”

“She doesn’t want to hear it.”

“Sure she does! You’re a goddamn catch!”

“I don’t know, Dean. It’s always been so physical with her. She’s so… focused on anything else but us. Plus, she’s pissed at me.”

“What did you do? Can you fix it?”

Sam shrugged half-heartedly. “I… I’m trying to fix it. She’s mad that I was chosen as primary on this case. They picked me over her, and I insisted that she should work with me on it. Isn’t that worth something?”

Dean thought about Y/N then, and her devastation over losing her own role in her job to a man. Normally, Dean would’ve been completely on his brother's side, but after meeting her his perspective had changed significantly. “Have you considered her side of things? I don’t know, man, sometimes I don’t think we realize how easy we’ve got it. Not that your job is easy… I just mean that our gender doesn’t make it harder.”

“I guess,” Sam said, squirming in his seat a bit. “I work really hard, and I hate that she discounts it. I also see why she’s pissed, though. It’s so complicated.” He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair.

His baby brother was going through something, but if Dean learned anything from Y/N it’s that this is worth learning. “Be honest with her, consider her feelings and think about the fact that she has to work twice as hard to be considered in a room that you and I can just walk into. The world isn’t fair, Sammy. I know that much at least.”

“Where is this all coming from?”

He could feel his cheeks heat. “I may have met someone, too.”

“Oh?”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Dean said dismissively.

“Like what?” Sam asked, feigning innocence.

“Like you’re expecting me to start braiding your hair and gossiping about a crush.”

“You’re blushing, Dean. I’ve never seen you like that, not even with Lisa. I’m just saying… I’m happy for you. Whoever she is, I hope she makes you happy. I hope she isn’t as complicated as what I’m going through. You deserve a happy ending, man.”

“It hasn’t been long enough to even begin to think about an ending, happy or otherwise.” But he secretly hoped she was his happy ending, too.

“You should tell her how you feel, too,” Sam said, nodding to his brother. “You do it, and I will, too.”

“It always has to be a competition with you,” Dean said, raising an eyebrow. “Some things never change.” He grinned widely.

“Fine. I’ll tell her.” He would’ve told her anyway. It was never a secret.

Her

Y/N walked around New York. She had a lot to think about, and it was taking over her mind; she was drowning in it all. The idea of quitting, leaving it all behind had crawled into her mind and made a home there. It burrowed in deeply and dug its claws in. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had to make a change. When she walked Lisa back to her studio she saw all of the women gearing up for their yoga class. The image now lived in her mind rent free.

She watched them, knowing who they were, but not daring to make any assumptions. They were survivors. Each one of them had survived some kind of violence, an attack by someone they didn’t know and sometimes, someone they knew far too well. Y/N knew from her women’s study classes in college that one in four women were assaulted in their lifetime and despite the fact that less than two percent of reports are false, only six in approximately one-thousand rapes resulted in incarceration. When she heard the numbers for the first time she wrote them down in her notebook and taped the page to her dorm room wall. She wouldn’t end up one of those numbers, and she didn’t. Her friends did, though - more than one.

Watching the women stretch and laugh and heal in front of her, everything clicked together. That's what she wanted to do. She wanted to help the women who were hurt. She wanted to be a shining light in the darkness because anyone who wanted to share their story deserved to do so without being terrified. It would be hard, but she could do it. She knew she could.

She couldn’t wait to tell Dean all about it.

Y/N rushed home to change her clothes before she went to find him. It was late in the day now, so he was either leaving work or headed there. She assumed that she didn’t have a lot of time to change clothes and get her head wrapped around her decision. She was so in her thoughts that she almost ran over the man sitting on her stoop.

“Oh my gosh I’m so…” Her voice caught in her throat as a pair of green eyes flickered up to her under full eyelashes.

Dean.

She must’ve exhaled out his name because he grinned widely up at her, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “Y/N,” he said, her name was rough and quiet on his lips, and she felt her knees weaken.

“I was just coming to see you,” she admitted.

“You’re going the wrong way.”

She rolled her eyes. God, he was annoying. God, he was beautiful.

“I was going to change first.” She lifted her arms and gestured to her abnormally lax outfit.

“Why?” he asked, standing up. Since he was on a step above her he looked even taller than normal, and she honestly hadn’t thought that was possible. “You look great the way you are.”

“I’m…” She almost said she wasn’t comfortable like this, but that wasn’t true. She was comfortable, but the idea of comfort in fashion had been ripped from her bleeding fingers at such a young age she’d never even considered that the two words could live together in harmony. “Thank you.”

“Why were you looking for me?” His finger brushed a hair behind her ear, sending chills up her neck.

“I wanted to tell you something.”

Dean’s thumb moved from her earlobe down her jaw. “Mmm. What’s that?”

They were unintentionally scooting closer, and she hadn't realized it until their chests brushed. “I…” Her head was spinning. She couldn't focus with him that close to her. He smelled like he’d been cooking, and it made her want to curl in even closer to him. He was intoxicating.

“You…” He prompted with a wry grin.

Focus, Y/N. “I’m going to quit my job.” The words spilled out of her lips quickly and unplanned.

“You’re going to… what?” He moved to back away from her, his pupils wide in shock.

She stopped him by resting her hands on his hips. “I’m not being impulsive,” she promised. “I’m not an impulsive person. I just… I’m not happy. This isn’t what I want.” Her eyes stung as she thought about all she’d worked for. She climbed and crawled her way up, and she hated every second of it.

His expression softened, and his thumb traced her bottom lip. “What’re you going to do then?”

“I think I’m going to start a nonprofit practice to help survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence. Survivors don’t always want to come forward, but I think if there are lawyers who focus on that side of the law that maybe they’ll feel more comfortable. I just… I want to make a difference. I don’t want to give up on my dreams, but what I’ve been doing isn’t my dream.”

She didn’t realize she hadn’t been looking at him until her eyes flickered up. He was grinning widely, his white teeth shining down at her. “That suits you.”

“How would you know?” She asked, sarcasm weak in her voice. It did suit her, after all.

“Because I’m always right. It’ll be way easier for you if you learn that now.”

“Oh?” He nodded quickly. “Yup.”

“So, why are you on my steps, Dean?”

“Oh, are these your steps?” he asked, feigning sheepish confusion.

Y/N met him with an unimpressed glare, and he laughed in response.

“I’m here for this,” he whispered huskily before pulling her chin up to his and pressing a hot, urgent kiss on her lips. “I’m proud of you,” he breathed the words into her mouth, pushing life back into her.

She didn’t need him to be proud of her, because she was proud of herself. She threw her arms around his shoulders and stood on her tiptoes to ease the bend of his neck and kissed him back feverishly. She murmured his name into the kiss, and his arms tightened around her.

The world around them melted away in an instant. He came to kiss her, and he was the first person that she wanted to tell about her decision. There was something happening between them, something far beyond their control, something cosmic. His hands traveled down her back and deepened the kiss, his tongue running along her bottom lip.

A whine escaped her lips, one that would normally embarrass her endlessly, but in that moment she couldn’t care less. She opened her mouth to taste him and god he tasted amazing. His tongue was warm and soft, and she pressed fully flush against him. She wanted to be as close to him as humanly possible.

He groaned into her mouth and cupped her ass in his hands, squeezing it gently. Her skin prickled under her leggings under his touch, the space between her legs throbbing with want. She nipped at his bottom lip, causing him to squeeze her tighter, more insistently.

The sky rumbled with a new round of thunder, but they ignored it.

“Get a room!” Someone shouted at them as they walked by, causing them to pull apart briefly, laughing to each other breathlessly.

“Sorry,” Dean grunted, waving at the passerby apologetically. His freckled cheeks were flushed and his lips were swollen. She grinned at the sight.

“I have a room,” she said quickly.

His eyebrows shot up, and his lips tugged into a grin. “Lead the way.”

She pushed past him, but he kept his hands on her possessively as she fiddled with the keys. He leaned down and pressed his lips to the back of her neck. “Dean,” she warned. “I can’t focus with you doing that.”

“Doing what?” he asked innocently, his voice rumbling against her. He nipped at her skin tenderly and she groaned, feebly attempting to wiggle out of his grip.

The lock clicked, and she swung the door open immediately. They needed to get upstairs now. The door shut behind them, and Dean pulled her back into his arms, spinning her and planting a needy kiss on her mouth. His mouth was hot and urgent. She sighed against him and melted within his arms. She wasn’t strong enough to resist him, to resist this. Plus, she’d decided to keep doing the things that made her happy, and this made her the happiest she’d felt in awhile.

He toyed with the bottom of her sweatshirt with deft fingers, making her stomach flip. His hands slid up the back of the sweatshirt, his fingers trailing her spine before settling between her shoulder blades. A small gasp escaped his lips, and she felt him smile into the kiss. Before she even had a chance to question the exchange, she remembered that she wasn’t wearing a bra.

She tugged him toward the elevator, blindly feeling for the button to take them up to her floor before she was topless in the lobby. The elevator dinged, and the sound rang like a bell in her mind, bouncing off of her skull. She placed her hands on his chest and walked them backwards into the open elevator. “Dean…” She said his name weakly before peeling them apart long enough to turn and press the button to her floor.

Instead of releasing her, he moved one hand to the front of her, running his calluses over the soft skin of her breast. Her nipple perked up immediately, and she whimpered. If someone had told her three months prior that a man would make her whimper she would’ve laughed in their faces, but there she was, making whiny, weak noises. She came completely undone as his fingers tweaked her already-hard nipple. He spun her around and pressed her back to the wall with a low growl, reaching with a free hand for the big, red emergency stop button to halt the elevator.

Dean’s hands were back on her in a second, working her sweatshirt over her head and tossing it away. He looked at her hungrily, his bottom lip trembled. “Fuck,” he mumbled.

“What?” she asked breathlessly, suddenly nervous under his gaze.

“You’re so fucking beautiful.” His mouth was back on hers before she could consider objecting. He kissed her lips, her jaw, down her neck, between her breasts, and took her nipple between his lips, sucking eagerly. Her back arched automatically in response. She closed her eyes, completely taken over by the heat of his mouth on her, and his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.

His eyes flickered open, and he looked up at her through his eyelashes, her breast still in his mouth. She thought she was going to pass out from the sight of his eyes heavy with desire, staring up at her. She wanted to pull his mouth back up to her, but when she tugged at his shoulders he released her and grinned. He flicked his tongue against her nipple again eliciting a groan from her, and trailed his tongue between her breast and down her stomach, leaving tantalizing kisses along the exposed skin at the waistband of her leggings.

Y/N looked down at him with wide eyes. He wouldn’t, not in the public elevator. Regardless of whether or not it was stopped and no one could come in, he surprised her again by curling his fingers around the waist of her leggings and kissing the newly bare skin as he rolled them down her hips, exposing her thong.

Oh god, I’m in trouble.

Her face was hot as she stood before him practically naked, and he looked at her hungrily. “Dean,” she said his name again weakly, and he looked up at her. The sight of him kneeling in front of her was almost too much to handle.

“This okay?”

Is it?

In reality, she didn’t see why not. There wasn’t a camera in the elevator of the old building, she knew that much. She wanted his mouth on her so badly that she could barely think. Why would she say no?

He pressed a gentle kiss to her hip bone. “I need you to say yes to keep going. I’m not going to ravish you in an elevator without hearing the word come out of your lips, sweetheart.”

Ravish you.

Oh god, she was going to pass out.

She nodded quickly, giving in to her desires for once in her goddamned life.

“I need to hear it,” he said with a quiet growl. “Say the word, and I’m at your mercy.” “Yes, damn it!” She heard herself say, her voice strained with desire, a wetness pooling between her legs that would normally embarrass her.

“Thank fucking god,” he purred before placing a hot kiss right at her core through the lace, and her knees immediately went weak. She had no idea how she was going to keep herself upright, so she grabbed blindly for the handrails.

Just breathe, Y/N. Breathe.

---

Chapter Ten - COMING SOON

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[wayward-dreamer]

Life’s Lessons - Good Enough

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader

Word count: 6,372

Summary: Y/N and Dean are planning their wedding, but a reminder from the past gives him doubts about his relationship and whether he’ll ever actually be good enough for her.

Warnings: Swearing, Dean’s past with Lisa comes back to haunt him, ANGST, Tears, Dean’s self deprecation rears its ugly head, Making up, Fluff.

Music: Love Of My Life - Queen (Dean bar scene)

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: The next time stamp is here! Stay tuned for another announcement soon about the saga! Hope you all like the time stamp! As always, happy reading and enjoy! :)

Life’s Lessons Saga Masterlist

Divider by @firefly-graphics​​​.

Y/N pressed the ‘end’ button on her phone, throwing it beside her on the couch with a loud groan of frustration.

Looking down at the coffee table in front of her, she shook her head at the sudden overwhelming feeling. The whole surface of the table was covered in bridal magazines, brochures, printouts of venues, her laptop with multiple tabs open, and everything else that came with planning a wedding. She kept hitting brick walls with every place she was looking at being unavailable for the date that she and Dean had decided on. The only thing she had managed to do was finalize the guest list, which was at 80 people. It wasn’t a big number, but knowing she would have to do the invitations as soon as a venue was decided, it was a lot of people. Luckily, it was everyone she or Dean cared about, without having to make sacrifices for their special day.

Y/N heard the key in the door and Dean’s boots on the wooden floors as he walked through the house. He smiled when he saw her, walking over quickly and leaning down, kissing her softly.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he muttered against her lips, kissing her again.

“Hey,” she sighed, a relief washing over her now that he was home. “How was work?”

He huffed out a breath as he leaned back against the couch. “Busy. Having the new guy on today didn’t help. I felt like how you must feel with the kids in class, keeping an eye on him most of the time.”

“He’ll get better soon enough, don’t worry,” she reassured him, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

Dean glanced over the coffee table, leaning forward and resting his forearms on his knees. “That looks like a lot. You okay? Anything I can help with? Not that I know a damn thing about weddings.”

He smirked with a small laugh, kissing her cheek. Y/N smiled and shook her head, looking down at the table and sighing heavily.

“I keep hitting dead ends with venues, that’s all,” she stated, shrugging.

“Hey.” Getting her attention, he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “Everything’s gonna work out. We’ll find something and it’s going to be amazing. I know it.”

She nodded, even though she didn’t really feel better despite his comforting words. “I guess I’m just worried about a lot of this.”

“You know whatever you need from me, I’m here, right? Say the word and I’ll do it,” he told her, his hands leaving her face and taking hers.

“I know,” she whispered, smiling softly at him.

“Don’t worry about anything, sweetheart,” he said, smiling at her. “We got this, okay?”

“I know, I just…” she stopped herself, unsure of how to express herself.

“Something’s wrong,” Dean frowned, sensing something wasn’t right. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” she reassured him, smiling softly. “But… I just need to know you want all of this. I know you keep saying you want me to have the wedding I want, but I want us both to have that, Dean. I want what you want too.”

“Don’t go thinking I don’t want all of this. I wanna do this for you. For us.” he said, smiling reassuringly. “I do. I promise you, I do, sweetheart.”

“Okay.” She nodded, her worried expression morphing into a soft smile.

“Okay, good. Now, take a break from all this stuff and let’s make dinner. Sound good?” he asked, smirking.

“Yeah,” she replied, smiling wide as she leaned in and kissed him.

As they got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to start cooking, Y/N breathed a sigh of relief, as she felt a pressure lift off her. Dean always had a way of doing that. It was incredibly cute to see Dean so excited, even if he didn’t understand what she was saying when she mentioned something to do with the wedding, but he secretly loved getting involved.

They couldn’t wait to get to the big day and start the next part of their journey together.

The doorbell rang, alerting Y/N that her guests for the evening had arrived. It was a Saturday, and unfortunately Dean had to go into work because of some problem with one of the cars, so Y/N was left to do more of the wedding planning herself. Dean felt guilty as he left, but she had assured him that it was more than okay.

She walked to the door and opened it, smiling wide as she saw Mary and John on the other side. They all hugged each other, before Y/N led her into the house.

“So, how are things going?” Mary asked, as they walked into the kitchen where Y/N had been making dinner.

“Things are… stressful,” Y/N replied, huffing a small laugh. “Though I managed to book a venue yesterday, and that’s taken a lot of pressure off. I was going to tell Dean first, but do you guys wanna know?”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” Mary exclaimed. “Yes, absolutely!”

Y/N opened her laptop that was kept to the side on the kitchen bench, bringing up the photos of the outdoor venue. “Dean was telling me once that you guys used to drive up here a lot when he and Sam were kids, and I thought I’d try it out. The land is owned by the ranch close by that’s a wedding venue and I asked if we could use this space. They said they had an opening for our date, so I booked it straight away.”

She showed them the photos of a beautiful location, surrounded by trees and a lake. It was perfect for the ceremony, and the clearing nearby would be perfect for the reception.

“Y/N, this is…” John shook his head, speechless as he looked over the photos. “God, the boys used to love going there.”

“Y/N, it’s stunning! Oh, it’s going to a beautiful wedding,” Mary told her, her smile radiant as put her arm around Y/N and brought her close.

“Do you think Dean will like it?” Y/N asked, nervously.

“He definitely will. We used to take the boys fishing there. They never caught a damn thing, but they always loved going,” John replied, reassuringly.

“Okay, good.” Y/N nodded as she closed her laptop. “Because we initially thought about having it here, we don’t have room for 80 people.”

“Well, this is perfect,” Mary said, smiling.

“It is. I can’t wait to show Dean,” Y/N smiled, before standing up and walking into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner.

“Anything I can help with?” Mary asked, leaning against the kitchen island.

“Nope, almost done,” Y/N replied, smiling over at her. “John, there’s beer in the fridge. Mary, wine?”

“I’ll take care of that,” John insisted, taking a beer out before finding the wine Mary liked on the small rack.

In the garage, Dean pulled the Impala up and cut the engine, turning off the car. He sighed tiredly as he leaned his head back against the seat, closing his eyes. It had been a long day, and the last thing he had wanted was to go into work on a Saturday, but being the boss, he was needed. He hated that he couldn’t stay home and help Y/N out with whatever she needed and enjoy time with her, but at least he was back in time to have dinner with her and his parents.

Getting out of the Impala, he locked it and walked around the back of the car to the other side. He tried to slide past his work bench, but rammed right into it, cursing as the edge dug into him, sending a few tools flying to the floor.

“Fuck,” he groaned, closing his eyes.

He blinked a few times, crouching down and picking up the screwdrivers that fell on the floor. As he did, something that had fallen behind the bench caught his eye. He reached behind it, taking out the notebook that had gotten stuck. Opening it, he flipped through the pages, seeing old calculations and notes of his, knowing that they weren't of use now. Suddenly, a page fell out, falling at his feet, with unfamiliar writing on it.

“What…” he mumbled to himself as he held it up, reading over the page properly.

His face fell as he read over the words that were no doubt written by Lisa, recognizing her handwriting now that he could see it properly. She must have used this from his office in their house when she couldn’t find anything else.

Stubborn. Too close to his family. Doesn’t earn enough. Just a mechanic.

It was a pros and cons list. She had made reasons for whether she should stay with him or not. The only thing written on the pros list was that he was a good father figure to Ben. However, the cons outweighed everything as he read over them again. He didn’t earn enough. His job wasn’t good enough. And if that was true then that meant he wasn’t good enough. He knew he shouldn’t care what it said considering he was with Y/N now, and they were engaged, with his relationship with Lisa practically ancient history by now. Yet he couldn’t stop reading over her words.

Crushing the paper into a ball and shoving into his pocket, he shut the notebook, tossing it in the paper basket kept next to the bench. He walked over to the door that led into the house, closing it behind him and walked down the hallway, hearing Y/N’s infectious laugh coming from the living room.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, seeing him enter the room.

“Hey,” he said, walking over to her, kissing her softly as he leaned down. He went over to his parents and hugged them before sitting down next to her.

“How was work?” she asked, smiling at him.

“Tiring,” he replied, huffing slightly, but offered her a smile. “But good. Glad to be home though.”

“Well, I was telling your parents, but I can tell you now,” she started, sharing a smile with John and Mary before she turned back to him. “I found a venue for the wedding.”

“That’s great, sweetheart,” he said, smiling softly as he kissed her again.

Y/N frowned slightly as he pulled away, sensing something wasn’t right with him, but she let it go for now. She hoped that he was just tired from work and that was it.

“Do you want to hear about it?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course,” he replied, too quickly. “Actually, I’m gonna wash up and why don’t you tell me over dinner.”

“Sure,” she agreed, nodding. “Well, food’s ready. We were just waiting on you.”

“Okay,” he muttered, standing up and walking out of the room.

“Does he seem a little off to you?” John questioned, frowning as he looked between Mary and Y/N.

“Something must’ve happened at work,” Y/N sighed, worriedly.

“Well, let’s just hope it’s nothing too serious,” Mary added, her expression matching Y/N’s.

Dean returned after freshening up, just as Y/N, Mary and John walked over to the dining table. They all sat down, each of them taking turns to put food on their plate. They ate in silence, worried eyes glancing between each other and discreetly looking at Dean as he ate. Sensing they needed a distraction first, John and Mary exchanged looks, before she cleared her throat.

“So, we actually have something for both of you,” Mary announced, looking at John, giving him a firm nod.

The elder Winchester took out a small, folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket, and slid it across the wooden table to his son. Dean frowned curiously and Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed, as she looked over Dean’s shoulder. He opened it, both of their eyes widening as they saw what it was. He opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to speak.

“That’s from us, and after we spoke to your mom and dad, we decided to split things between us, so there’s should be coming to you soon,” Mary told Y/N, smiling.

“Mary…” Y/N trailed off, shaking her head as she was still in shock. “We can’t accept this cheque-”

“Guys, this is insane,” Dean finally said, frowning as he looked up at his parents.

“I thought you’d say that, but-” Mary started but Dean cut her off.

“We’re not taking it, mom,” he interrupted, his frustration getting the better of him.

“Dean,” Mary sighed, thinking about how to make him understand. “We’ve been sitting on this money since before you started renovating this place. We tried to hint then too, but you didn’t take it, wanting to do everything yourself. Had you never had this place we would’ve given it to you on your wedding day to put towards a house, just like we did with Sam and Eileen. Considering you have this place now, the least we can do is help with the wedding.”

“You’re really sure about this?” Y/N asked, completely unsure if this was a good idea. Clearly Dean wasn’t accepting this.

“Absolutely,” Mary replied, smiling. “And don’t even think about paying it back, it’s for both of you to use, however you want. Put it towards the wedding, if there’s anything left, put it towards the honeymoon, or savings… whatever you want.”

Dean shook his head, the frown still evident on his face. “So what? This is a pity offer?”

“No,” Mary gasped, eyes wide with shock. “Of course not, Dean. How could you think we would do that?”

He scoffed, turning to glare at Y/N. “I don’t make enough money, right? That’s what this is. You asked them for money.”

Y/N looked at him, unable to get over her shock at the way he was reacting. “What? No. No! Dean, how can you think that?”

Dean chuckled bitterly. He looked down at his food, suddenly losing his appetite. He quickly stood up, pushing up his sleeves as he pushed his chair out. Y/N felt her heart banging repeatedly against her ribcage, as she watched him get up.

“We’re not taking this. No fucking way,” he hissed, pushing the cheque back across the surface.

“Dean,” John’s voice bellowed around the room, staring up at his son with a stern expression.

“Dean, we just wanted to contribute, that’s all, honey,” Mary reasoned, trying to calm the situation. “If this is how you feel, then it’s put to bed. Let’s just enjoy dinner.”

“Yeah, damn right that’s how I feel,” he snapped, as he turned to face her.

“I’m sor-” Mary started but he cut her off again, turning to Y/N.

“Do you think I can’t do this for us?” he asked, his voice eerily calm but the shakiness gave away how upset he was, as he faced Y/N.

Her eyes narrowed in upset as she stood up too, looking at him. “Of course I think you can do this, Dean. How could you even question that?”

“Because it’s exactly what it looks like, Y/N!” he yelled. He scoffed and shook his head, scrubbing a hand down his face. “What I do isn’t good enough. I’m not good enough.”

She visibly flinched; her eyes widened as she looked at him. She had never seen him this upset. She felt tears brim her bottom lids, threatening to fall. John and Mary watched on in horror, unable to understand what was going on with their son.

“What?” she scoffed, shaking her head. “How could you possibly think that?”

“Because it’s true,” he muttered, looking away from her, his jaw clenching tight. “And if you haven’t already, you’ll realize it one day.”

“Dean,” she breathed, a tear rolling down her face as she saw how dejected he looked.

“That’s not true.”

“If you don’t want this anymore, Y/N, there were easier ways to tell me,” he spat, turning away from her and storming off.

“Dean, stop! What’s gotten into you?” she yelled, following behind him.

“I can’t fucking do this right now,” he scoffed.

Mary and John were hot on their heels too as they stopped in the entrance, watching Dean pick up his keys and make his way to the door.

“Dean, where are you going?” Y/N asked, choking as a wave of sadness washed over her.

“I can’t be here,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I need to think.”

“Think about what?” Her voice was cracking, the tears finally falling down her face. Everything was falling apart in the span of a few minutes, and she had no idea why. Why was he acting like this?

“I don’t know, Y/N, okay?” he snapped, turning to pin her with a scowl. “I just… I gotta get outta here.” Gesturing around him, he turned to open the door.

His mind was cloudy with all the doubts he was having at that moment. He needed a drink and some time to cool off. He walked through the threshold, not looking back at Y/N.

“Dean, wait-” she started but the door slamming as he left, cut her off.

Y/N felt knots in her stomach, tightening and moving into her chest. She tried to breathe normally but started to feel as if her throat was closing off, cutting off her air supply. Tears stung her eyes as they continued to flow down her face. She began hyperventilating, her hands cupping over her mouth as she began to cry. Her body shook with the force of her sobs. Her legs felt like jelly, like any minute she would collapse and wouldn’t be able to get up again.

“Oh, honey,” Mary whispered, as she wrapped her arms around Y/N tightly.

“I don’t… k-know what I did to-to make him think-” she stuttered, stopping as she sobbed.

“You didn’t do anything, sweetie. I just… There's something wrong. I didn’t think he would act like this. At most, he would be annoyed and then eventually give in. But this?” Mary tried to figure out what was going on, but shook her head as she couldn’t think of what could be wrong with her son.

“I’ll go talk to him,” John offered.

“No, he just needs space to process whatever’s going on in his head,” Y/N sniffled, pulling away from Mary as she looked between them. “You can head home if you want to. I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” John stated, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and hugging her as she was between him and Mary. “Everything’s gonna be okay, don’t you worry.”

The silence made her mind wander off into irrational directions. Had she done something to make Dean this upset? Had she said anything to make him think he wasn’t good enough? She loved him so much, and she wanted nothing more than to be his wife, but if she had really made him feel that way, then she was the one who wasn’t good enough for him.

She managed to convince John and Mary that she was fine enough for them to leave, insisting they take some food home with them. They said their goodbyes, and Y/N headed upstairs, completely exhausted after the whirlwind evening. As she got changed in the walk-in closet, she felt more tears sting her eyes. They rolled down her face, but she didn’t make a move to wipe them away as she changed.

She just wanted Dean to come home so that they could talk and forget about what just happened.

Dean drove around town for a while, the words he said to Y/N plaguing his mind. He was just so angry after finding that list from Lisa, it just came out in the worst way possible. He reached the regular bar that he would go to with the guys, needing at least one drink to calm himself down.

Sitting down at the bar, he ordered a whiskey double, neat, and gulped the first one down in one shot. Asking for another, he nursed it as he thought about everything that had happened in the past half hour. His anger had dissolved quickly and had morphed into fear. Fear at what he would or wouldn’t find when he got home. As a Queen song played in the background from the jukebox, he quickly realized how much it was mirroring the situation they had found themselves in.

Love of my life, you’ve hurt me

You’ve broken my heart, and now you leave me

Love of my life, can’t you see?

Bring it back, bring it back

Don’t take it away from me

Because you don’t know

What it means to me

He realized how he had overreacted, that his parents, just being the people that they are, would just give the cheque to them. He shouldn’t have taken his anger out on them and Y/N. Hell, she didn’t even know what he was upset about. That considered, he knew that he wasn’t good enough for her, especially now. Taking out his phone, he looked at the screen and saw a few missed calls from her and a few texts. Gulping the lump in his throat, he opened the messages and felt his heart sink into his stomach as he read over them. There were three, and as he read the words over again, he felt tears prick his eyes.

She had nothing to be sorry for. He was the asshole that let things blow out of proportion, all because he let one stupid note get to him. Determined to make it home and fix everything, Dean paid for his drink and left the bar.

He hoped like hell that he hadn’t ruined his whole future in one evening.

Dean entered through the door from the garage. Not a single light was on as he walked further in, seeing the kitchen, dining and living area completely dark. Taking a deep breath, he turned towards the stairs and began the climb to the second floor, knowing he had to face whatever came next, even if he was fearing it so much that his stomach was in knots.

He walked towards their bedroom and stood at the threshold, his heart breaking at what he saw. Only one of the bedside lamps was on, providing the only light in the room. Y/N was lying on the bed, her back to the door, her knees drawn up as she laid in the foetal position, her shoulders shaking. She was sobbing quietly, the sounds low but somehow so loud in the quiet room. With every cry, a piece of his heart felt like it was shattering into smaller shards.

He moved slowly towards the bed, sitting down on the edge, watching as her head slowly turned. Her eyes were red and puffy, wet from the tears she had shed. She looked at him, sitting up slowly, their eyes meeting. Suddenly, she launched herself into him, wrapping her arms around him tightly, crying into the crook of his neck. He felt tears prick his eyes, letting a few escape as he felt his sadness wash over him.

“Y/N,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I never should’ve said the things that I did, I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“I was so scared,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’m sorry for whatever I did, please, just tell me.”

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, pulling her away and cupping her face, looking her deep in the eyes. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m so sorry.”

“How could you ever doubt how I feel about you?” she asked, her voice croaky from how much she had cried. “How could you ever think you’re not good enough for me? What did I do to make you think that?”

“You didn’t do anything, sweetheart. I promise. This was… this was all me and my crap,” he said, shaking his head.

“What did I do to make you doubt me?” she cried, fresh tears making tracks down her face.

“Nothing, sweetheart,” he reassured her, frantically moving towards her, grasping her shoulders. “You didn’t do anything, okay? This… this is the reason I overreacted.”

She frowned as he handed her the paper, but opened the folded page and read over the words written on there. She was confused, knowing she didn’t write this, her eyebrows lifting in realization as she read over the “pros” column.

“I’ll kill her,” she growled, looking up at him with a ferocity in her eyes. “I’ll… God, I wanna hurt her!”

Y/N stood up from the bed and paced the floor, her whole body shaking with how angry she was at that moment. She couldn’t believe that something like this could come between them, showing that Lisa still had a grip on Dean’s mind.

“She doesn’t get to do this to you anymore, Dean!” she yelled, holding up the piece of paper. “She doesn’t get to ruin our future!”

He scoffed a chuckle, shaking her head. “I nearly let her.”

“So, don’t,” Y/N said, walking up to him. She cupped his face in her hands, making him look up at her as he sat on the bed. “You are good enough for me. Every part of you. I love you for exactly who you are, and if I have to spend the rest of our lives together trying to convince you that you’re my one, my everything, that there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re so right for me, then I’ll do it.”

Wrapping her arms around him, his forehead rested against her chest as she laid her cheek on his head. She held him tightly, neither of them wanting to move away from the other.

“I’m sorry, I’m an idiot,” he muttered, his hands on her hips, feeling the material of his black t-shirt she was wearing against his skin. “I just saw that cheque, and I thought about that list, and I just overreacted.”

“No, you’re not,” she stated, kissing the top of his head. “You were upset.”

“That’s no excuse,” he whispered, hating himself for taking it out on her. “You didn’t deserve that. I uh… I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to end this-”

“Dean, stop,” she choked out, pressing her forehead to his, combing her hand through his hair.

He shook his head, lifting it to look into her eyes. “I’ve been… I’ve been thinking about this even before finding that list. I’m always scared I’m gonna say or do something to give you a reason to leave me. If that happened… I know I wouldn’t survive it.”

Y/N frustratedly wiped her tears away, looking around the room for her sweats. Finding them, she roughly pulled them on and slipped on her sneakers, putting on a light shirt over the black t-shirt she was wearing. Dean watched her; confusion riddled his face as she moved around the room.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” he asked, his voice wavering as his mind started to make up horrific scenarios.

“Come with me,” she said, firmly, a determined look on her face as she held her hand out.

“Where are we-” he started but she cut him off, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the bed.

“Shut up,” she muttered, scowling as she dragged him behind her, down the stairs and out of the house, just as she picked up her keys from the table at the entrance.

Knowing he couldn’t argue when she looked so distressed, he followed behind her as they made their way to her car.

“Get in,” she demanded, harshly.

He was shaking, wondering what the hell had come over her suddenly but again did as he was told without saying anything that would possibly make her angrier than he already had. He couldn’t tell what he had done, but she was upset with him.

Dean looked on in silence as Y/N backed out and turned the car, the tires screeching as she sped off down the road. He gulped as she drove, his mind trying to talk itself out of thinking she was possibly going to kill him and dump his body somewhere. However, he also found her anger strangely arousing. They drove ten minutes before he recognized that she wasn’t going to do that, and that she had turned down a very familiar street. They drove past several houses before she stopped, pulling the car up to the curb and cutting the engine.

“Get out,” she ordered, leaving the keys in the ignition and opening the driver’s side door, slamming it shut as she stood on the road.

He got out, closing the passenger door and following behind her, looking around the dark street and quickly realizing they were standing in front of her previous rental house, just across from his and Lisa’s, all that time ago. She pulled at his jacket and he stumbled, straightening when she pulled him to stand in a specific spot next to the curb. She looked up at him, standing directly in front of him as the deep glare, her eyes riddled with sadness, was still on her face.

“Do you remember what happened here?” she asked, her eyes welling with unshed tears.

Frowning, he shook his head as he was unable to think straight, his mind clouded by the sudden change in her demeanour. “Y/N, I-”

“Do you remember what happened here, Dean?” she repeated, her voice cracking slightly as she raised it.

He sighed, glancing between the two houses, giving her a curt nod. “Of course I do.”

“Tell me,” she ordered, not breaking her eye contact with him, the scowl still present.

“It’s…” he cleared his throat, pushing down the lump in his throat as he looked at her. “It’s where I helped you with your stuff. It’s… it’s where we met.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, a tear rolling down her face as she nodded slowly. “And it’s also where my life changed forever. Even if I didn’t know it at the time.”

“Y/N,” he breathed, trying to reach for her hand but she pulled away, making his heart sink. She had never done that. Never.

“Do you remember what was happening in that house?” she asked, the tears flowing freely down her face as she looked across the street.

He looked over, breathing heavily, his breath shaky as he exhaled but said nothing. He remembered all too well.

“You thought you were happy. You thought everything was fine… but you were losing yourself because of-” she choked, shaking her head, overwhelmed as she thought about those early days and her first impressions of his relationship with Lisa. “Because of her, and you didn’t even know it.”

He was silent, unable to say anything or even try to deny it, because he knew it was true. Turning his head to Y/N, he saw her looking up at him, the glare finally disappearing, her eyes holding a determined look despite the tears.

“And now, you could lose yourself because of her again if you don’t stop yourself from thinking that she's right,” she stated, stepping closer to him. “She was never right and she never will be. She didn’t know you like I do. She didn’t love you like I do. She’s gone from our lives… so don’t bring her back into it by going back into the shell she put you in.”

His jaw clenched as he shut his eyes, squeezing them tight as a tear slipped down his right cheek. Lifting her hand, she cupped his cheek and brushed it away with her thumb, stroking his jaw. She pushed up on her tiptoes, capturing his plump lips between hers, kissing him hard and desperately. She needed him to see there was nothing there to leave him over.

Pulling away from the kiss but keeping close, she looked at him as her thumbs stroked along his cheeks. “You’ll never give me a reason to leave you. Not now, not ever.”

“You got a lot of confidence in me, sweetheart,” he muttered, a slight scoff in his tone.

She smiled softly, knowing that if he couldn’t see it himself, she’d spend forever showing him he was worth more than he gave himself credit for.

“Yeah,” she said, nodding. “I do.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, leaning his forehead against hers.

“Don’t be,” she whispered back, her eyes closing, content to be close to him again. “We’re going to be okay.”

“You think so?” he asked, his voice laced with hope, as he lifted his head to look at her properly.

“I know so,” she replied, a soft smile on her face. “You’re not getting rid of me any time soon, Winchester.”

“You still wanna marry me after that?” he asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.

“Yes,” she said, simply as she pushed herself closer into him. “You can’t let something she thought affect you because it’s not true. It doesn’t matter what she thinks. So… promise me, right now, that you’re going to let this go. All that matters is you and me.”

Looking deep into her eyes, he remembered everything they had been through together, and thought about all the amazing things they still had to experience. He wasn’t going to let someone from his past ruin his future.

“I promise,” he said, firmly.

She smiled up at him, moving in and capturing his lips, kissing him passionately. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, sweetheart,” he whispered. “So fucking much.”

“Let’s go home,” she whispered back, stroking her hand lightly over the back of his head. “I think I need to show you just how much I love you.”

He hummed against her lips, kissing her softly. “Yes, please.”

She laughed, biting her lip. “I scared you a little, didn’t I?”

“Well, when I didn’t think about how you could be plotting to kill me,” he joked, smirking as she chuckled, “it was kinda hot to see you pissed off.”

She shook her head, rolling her eyes as she giggled. “You’re crazy.”

“Hey,” he called out, pulling her closer, his hands sliding down to her hips. “I can’t help the fact that it turned me on, sweetheart. It’s just the magic of you.”

She felt her cheeks heat up, pressing her lips together as she tried not to smile. “Let’s go before someone sees us out here.”

Hand in hand, they walked back to the car, separating as they got in. He glanced back at the old house once more, feeling an enormous weight lift off him as he looked at the place that held a lot of pain before Y/N came along. That weight had resurfaced when he saw that list that Lisa had made, but as she always did, Y/N had been there to stop him from losing his way. She was the one who built him back up to the person that he used to be, the one who reignited his spirit. He had known early on how special she was, and she proved time and time again that she was there to stay.

And now, he was never going to lose sight of that. He let Lisa get into his head again, but for the final time, he was putting an end to that. He had someone by his side who wanted to be with him forever, and he was never going to forget that ever again.

Y/N sat at the dining table the next morning, her coffee in hand, all of her plans for the wedding spread out in front of her. She smiled as she sent a few texts out to the girls, asking them if they were available the next weekend to start looking for her wedding dress. As she was looking at photos, she flinched slightly, feeling Dean’s lips against her neck, moving down to her exposed shoulder, the sleeve of his t-shirt she was wearing having slipped down.

“Oh my god, Dean, don’t look!” she yelled, hiding her screen with her hands.

He chuckled, shaking his head as he sat down beside her. “Babe, you haven’t even found a dress yet. I’m pretty sure it’s okay if I can see those.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to see in case I do find something like this,” she explained, smiling sheepishly. “I want to surprise you.”

He smiled as he leaned forward, kissing her softly. “You’re gonna knock me out no matter what dress you pick. Just sayin’.”

“Even if I look like a frosted cupcake?” she teased, giggling.

“Well, yeah,” he agreed, his lips hovering close to hers. “‘Cause then you’ll look good enough to eat.”

“That’s so cheesy,” she snorted, laughing.

“You love it,” he grinned, chuckling along with her.

She pressed her lips to his, kissing him lightly but he had other plans, his arms wrapping around her and pulling her off her chair, onto his lap. She moaned softly against his lips as his fingers ran lightly over her bare thighs, the t-shirt riding up as she straddled him.

“So…” she pulled away from the kiss, reaching for the cheque on the table and showing it to him. “What do we want to do with this?”

“We use it,” he replied, nodding confidently as he smirked. “If there’s any left, we save it for the future, including anything your parents are sending.”

She beamed, brushing her knuckles against his cheek. “Sounds good.”

As they sat there together, having breakfast and coffee as they talked about the plans, Dean was leaving all the negative thoughts behind with the confidence that the woman sitting next to him wasn’t going anywhere. With the promises already made the previous night, he smiled as he thought about all the new ones he would make on the day she finally became his wife.

On the day the next chapter of their lives started.

A chapter he couldn’t wait to explore with Y/N by his side.

-x-

Tags: @deanwanddamons​ // @winchest09​ // @downanddirtydean​ // @jensengirl83​ // @wonder-cole​ // @that-one-gay-girl​ // @whatareyousearchingfordean​ // @flamencodiva​ // @danneelsmain​ // @ellewritesfix05​ // @roonyxx​ // @akshi8278​ //@hobby27​ // @michellethetvaddict​ // @spngirl05​ // @kyjey​ // @440mxs-wife​ // @stoneyggirl​ // @stoneyggirl2​​ // @deanswaywardgirl​​ // @redbarn1995​​ // @marianita195​ // @babypink224221​​ // @deans-baby-momma​​ // @parinarain​​ // @thoughts-and-funnies​​ // @mandalou29​​ // @jerkbitchidjitassbutt​​ // @supernatural-love14​​ // @vicmc624​​ // @prettyboyswow​​ // @lunarmoon8​​ // @irmcpar​​ // @compresshischest09​​ // @weepingwillowphoenix​​ // @xlynnbbyx​​ // @whiskey-infused-dreams​​ // @perpetualabsurdity​​ // @verytoadpapersoul​​ // @pink-sparkly-witch​​ //

[nevenabadr]

It's a Twin Thing: Part 1. Bucky Barnes & Sebastian Stan x Female!Reader

Note: English is not my first language or Romanian. Also, this was written in a hurry as I was babysitting.

Y/A: your name

The story is in second-person, thus, the reader is the main character.

Inspiration: this is inspired by:

My Sebastian Stan’s fan chats on WhatsApp; we support Supernatural too, that’s why the Winchester are mentioned.

Word count: 2568

Warnings: Smut–this is +21 and not for everyone.

Enjoy reading and please comment with your feedback, please. 🖤…

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It was a hot summer's day when you came home early to surprise your boyfriend, who is finally off from his duties as an actor and having a little time off for a holiday. You and Sebbie, your boyfriend of a year, now decided to stay in New York, as he missed being in his favourite place on earth.

You were early, holding lots of bags that were blocking your sight to the door. All worth it, because you will be able to cook him a homemade meal and show him that new lingerie you have got. If he forgot, you will remind him where home is.

You put everything down and took off your shoes; you started unbuttoning your blouse and taking off your pants. You were eager to take a shower and start cook for him.

You opened the bathroom door, and he was standing there fixing his hair in front of the mirror, yet he turned to face you. Before he spills a word.

You muttered, "Hey, I did not know you will be early."

You narrowed the gap between the two of you and taking his lips to meet yours in an intense kiss.

You missed him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him closer to you, making the kiss sensual and he had no problem putting his hands on the curves of your waist pulling you closer to him.

When you broke the kiss, you took a moment to look into his eyes “Bebelus, there is something different about you."

He was blushing and puzzled "Yes!" He sighed, "you have mistaken me for Seabase, did not you."

You jumped a step forward in panic "James? Oh, my God! I am so sorry."

You were trying to cover your body and confusion took over you.

"But you kissed me back." You were angry that almost slapped him, but he dodged your hand.

"Easy doll, I am sorry?" He came off guilty.

"I heard things about you. I did not know you would be your e." You spoke while your eyes gazed upon the floor.

"My plane arrived this morning. I am so sorry that Seabass did not tell you." He kept fixing his hair, which is identical to Sebastian.

"We got on the wrong foot your e, but can you please give me a moment?" You pointed at your body as you were wearing nothing but your undergarments.

"Oh! I will be outside." He shut the door behind him as he left.

You turned on the water and let it run, washing away your impressment.

James is Sebastian's identical twin. James Buchanan Barns and Sebastian Stan Barnes. Stan was Sebastian's middle name, something related to his mother's Romanian roots.

James has a military classified job, while his brother made a career for himself in acting.

Not even their mother could tell them apart, except that Sebastian is a dork and James, as they call him Bucky, is an easy-going ladies-man.

When you finished showing and dressing up. The sound from the kitchen seemed as if your boyfriend was having a loud conversation with himself.

They even sound identical, you thought to yourself, gathered your strength and stepped into the kitchen.

"Hey, guys," you waved for both of them.

"Oh, baby! Bucky told me about the incident" the twin with jogging clothes came and wrapped his arms around you.

You almost stopped him "Sebbie, baby, is that you?"

Yes, Y/N." He kissed your forehead and then your lips.

"I am so sorry, that I forgot to mention that Bucky was coming." He soothed you with another sweet kiss.

"We were not introduced properly," Bucky said playfully

"This is Y/A, my girlfriend and lady of the house." He said, then pointed at Bucky, "this is the famous, James Buchanan, Bucky, my mysterious brother."

"Seabase told poems of you. I am sorry that we have that incident," he implied the earlier kiss.

"No, worries" you am smiled and extend a hand "Welcome to our home, Bucky" he took your hand and smiled calmly.

At the dinner table, Sebastian and Bucky were laughing and catching up. You were calm and just appreciating the home-cooked dinner by Bucky.

"You are talented at cooking." You were enjoying the cuisine.

"I, the chief, and Seabase were the tidy one." He looked at his brother, "we are a team of cooking and cleaning."

Except that, I don't cook," Sebastian said joked

“Bucky, you know it is today?” Sebastien was busy eating.

Bucky was stunned “a family and friends gathering!” “You are going to see the gang.” Sebastien was rather excited about this more than anything you have seen before.

Georgeta Orlovschi, or as her official name now, Georgetta Stan was a lovely woman, a Romanian immigrant who fell in love with an American to a marriage that brought the best thing in her to the world, the twins; James and Sebastian.

As a violinist and part of the New York Opera House, she met their father, Mr William Barnes, a well-known handsome conductor who made her world perfect.

The world was perfect until she had to change diapers and stay up with William by her side.

William was of a well-known wealthy family, but Mrs Barnes was an Eastern European woman. She wanted to have deities by herself and not to have servants to do all the work.

Her friend Mary Winchester, the wife of William's closest friend, John — was the nicest woman you can meet, a Taxes woman. Mary was like Mrs Barnes. She did not like servants to do the job; she took upon duties of her firstborn, Dean, and later she had Sam, a few years before the Twins.

The boys grow up together.

Dean took the eldest brother's duties to the bone. Even when the new kid, Steve Rogers, became best friends with Bucky; he took him under his wing.

The gang, no one could touch his brother or their friends.

Soon after they entered Middle School and Dean was a senior, Steve got into a fight. Dean came close to the boys to find Bucky just leaving his book aside and taking the ground by his friend.

Sebastian was the one in front of both. No one hurt Steve.

Sam hurried to Dean for safety. Dean arrived and tried to calm everyone down "Steve said he was sorry." He smirked at the boy, who was angry and demanded to bully Steve.

While Sebastian and Sam were trying to hold Steve back, "I can do this all day."

Bucky did not give anyone else a chance to speak as he bunched the bully right in the nose, which got everyone in trouble, which Dean wanted to take the responsibility for. Detention and forever to be recorded in his file.

Dean Winchester did not care for his record, just the young boys to be well.

But finally, the boys came clean to their father; Bucky was homeschooled for the rest of the year and Sebastian refused to go back to school until his brother joined him back.

They were all a mischievous gang with Dean Winchester as the head.

Days passed, and each got into their ways; Dean with Harvard school as his father pulled a connection to forget the file problem. Dean was already qualified enough.

Sam went to Stanford, Bucky and Steve picked a military life, and Sebastian was all about acting.

It was his first time alone overseas, the Shakespeare's Globe yet had another surprise for him, a friend; Anthony Mackie, an American talent who became Sebastian's best friend.

The gang was getting bigger and louder.

Mrs Barnes had the entire gang and their families for a gathering. James, Bucky, as he liked to be called, is finally back after an entire year in God-knows-what military work.

After dinner, the gang was laughing and drinking.

Dean smirked at Sebastian "You got a good girl over here."

"A great kisser too." Bucky teased.

"What do you have in mind, Dean?" Sam teased Dean because he knows what he will spill next.

"You gotta do the twin thing." Dean raised his bottle of beer.

Steve's eyes widened "what twin thing, exactly"

"My man, Dean wants Seabase to go wild." Anthony laughed at the idea.

Dean explained, "a sandwich with her in the middle and the outer layers are twins."

Sam tried to elaborate "if the middle was a girl unless other preferences and so."

Steve was blushing at the idea while Bucky and Sebastian were looking at each other.

"Don't scrunch your nose" Sebastian looked at Bucky.

Bucky tilted his head and give him the puppy eyes "adventures, please."

Then Dean joined him for bagging "please."

"Alright, Alright." Sebastian took a sip of his beer "only with consent.

At that moment Anthony gives Dean ten "You won."

Steve was just irritated at the idea and he kept eyeing his bottle "I can't believe you, guys"

"Dean always wins," Sam shrugged.

You were heading closer to the boys, who were laughing.

"Are not we going home?" You asked Sebastian.

"Yes, babe."

He excused the gang and Bucky followed with the boys waving and clapping.

"They seem happy and excited. Are not they." You waved at them while speaking to Sebastian, but the reply came from Bucky "they should be. And hopefully, will be,"

Back in the car, Sebastian hesitated, but he told you why they were laughing.

“Dean wants you to try what?” You were completely shocked.

“The twin-thing.” Bucky sounded excited.

Sebastian took your hand in his, “baby, it’s a silly boys’ bet.”

You looked at him, “are you going to let Dean win?” and you smirked.

Bucky explained the rules. It has to be a sex sandwich with both of them, but no sex while they are in their mum's house.

“God only knows how she might react to this.” Sebastiana sighed.

Bucky laughed and explained, “an eastern European woman, she might get them a priest to perform an exorcism on us.”

“Or sanctify the house.” Sebastien completed his twin’s explanation.

They agreed Bucky will stay at Sebastian’s house for the night until they plan the twins’ thing.

The next morning, after you all had eaten breakfast together, you were cleaning the table. You will keep bumping into Bucky.

His torso to your back, kissing the exposed parts of your skin. You titled your head on your back to give him room.

His hands will travel under your clothes. His girl was wearing nothing but your skill PJ of pair of shorts and a top.

Dean's words have got straight to Bucky’s head, that he has been imagining having the twin-thing with his brother’s girlfriend.

Bucky reached the kitchen, and he almost dropped the plates.

His brother was kissing Y/N, who closed his eyes completely as Sebastian was squeezing your butt with a hand and they together are caressing your nipple about the silk.

You moaned; Bucky felt himself getting hard.

Yet, you felt Sebastian's hard length against your butt. You turned to kiss him with parted lips, looking to consume him.

Their tongue met and the sounds of their kissing made Bucky, who was at the edge and impulsively tried to hide his aroused length.

Sebastian opened his eyes as he parted from the kiss. Y/A twirled to meet Bucky's eyes and peeking at his lower body.

"Poor Bucky." You stepped closer to him, you kissed him first, yet he opened his eyes, waiting for Sebastian's approval, who gave him a wave to go ahead.

You kissed Bucky and slides your hand to stock his length above the sweat pants he was wearing.

Bucky moaned against your lips and wrapped his arms around you for a moment to deepen the kiss.

At that same time, Sebastian paced to lay kisses on your shoulder and squeeze your butt.

You started moaning, parted from Bucky, to meet Sebastian at a kiss

"Better take it to the bedroom." You said in between your moaning and breath.

You walked with the twin brothers to the bedroom, yet could not take off their hands off your body.

In the bedroom, Sebastian pulled down your shorts, and Bucky took off your top.

"Bucky, you are beautiful, Y/A," he said as he keeps kissing the soft spot under your ears and lowers down your breast.

"You better underdress to boys," you ordered and both of them took off their clothes at once.

Before starting anything, Bucky looked at Sebastien, who understood his brother immediately.

“Second drawer in the nightstand near his bed.” Sebastian pointed to Bucky, who was full of condoms, lubricant, and some toys.

You twirled around Bucky for a moment "nothing I have not seen before" you

Ran your fingers on his skin till touching his length and teasing his slit that was dripping pre-cum.

Yet, before Bucky put the condom on his length, you got down and tasted him, “tasty,” you whipped your lips and helped him to wear the condom

Then moved to Sebastian and kissed him "oh, that chest is getting rough again." You kissed his lips and lower to his jaw and neck.

Then you winked at Sebastian playfully to drop on four to take his full length between your lips.

You sucked him slowly. Bucky was watching your butt against him and your inviting lady delicate area was pumping with a need that he could not keep himself from entering you all at once.

You clenched him inside you, milking him and you were bobbing your head, milking Sebastian with your mouth as squeezing his balls.

Sebastian gripped your hair and Bucky put his hands on your hips, entering you, as you were getting tighter and closer.

"I am closed," Sebastian muttered breathlessly as he came inside your mouth. You swallowed him whole.

On the other hand, Bucky was close, Sebastian took a step back to let you rest on four, you were moaning and Bucky banging himself harder against you. The voice of their skin clashing and moaning were loud that the rest Sebastian was getting harder again.

Bucky wanted you closer to him, he pulled you up and rested your head on his chest and squeezed your breasts "cum for me now doll," he ordered as biting the side of your neck and squeezing your breasts and you were so tight that Sebastian came close and stocked your clitoris to give you more pleasure. You were standing between the skin of the two brothers.

With almost shut eyes, looking at Sebastian who was stocking your clitoris, then he kissed you down till his tongue reached your soft part. After two strokes with his tongue on your clitoris. You were so tight around Bucky that he could not see in front of him as he cum hard at the same time you felt the shaking electric power of your orgasm.

You were about to collapse that Sebastian carried you to the bed. You laid together between the two brothers.

"That was wow," Bucky muttered breathlessly.

Sebastian asserted playfully, "round two"

"Maybe later tonight?" You rolled and kissed Sebastian.

The three of you were laughing and Bucky closed his eyes to rest.

You put a leg on Sebastian's tights, getting closer to his body, feeling Bucky's chest hugging you from behind.

The head of their bodies calmed that the three of you slept in harmony.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My tag list:

@shafverani

@imsebastiansta-n

@brokenwitty

@sinner-as-saint

@zemosimp05

@fallloverfanfiction

[jockpoetry]

supernatural sees women as a tool for development and strengthening of narratives/motivation and dean sees his body as a tool. is that anything?

When I saw this ask I really made the 🥴in real life. So, yeah anon, I do think there’s something to this.

Quick Disclaimer before I actually launch into my thoughts™: A lot of my read of Dean stems from my experience as both an oldest daughter and a transman. Being the oldest daughter was an experience I lived for many years, but I am also a man. I wasn’t raised as a man, I wasn’t socialized as a man, and even though once I came out upon reflection my masculinity was obviously there. Like I was a man™ before I knew I was a man. Even when I actively tied my identity to femininity for a long time! A lot of my prideful moments were based around statements like: “I was the only girl who (fill in the blank).” 

So I am just putting that out there before I launch into my spiel about Dean/Gender/Tool because they all interlock for me. 

I am also going to apologize in advance because I know this has fully gone off the rails and I’m not even done writing it yet. If this is incomprehensible ! Well, happens to the best of us.

First off, most importantly I guess before we discuss womanhood and Dean and the way both are utilized on the show I need to say that I personally don’t subscribe the whole Dean is female coded thing. 

It’s a read I can absolutely understand. But for me..he’s not. 

He’s a hypermasculine man to the point that when (and because he is written as a punchline, as the stupid™ brother, as the whore™, as the mother/father™, as daddy’s blunt instrument™, etc) Dean deviates from the pre-accepted definition of hypermasculine it’s Wrong. 

It’s Instantly Feminine. 

I think the internet has made the world very black and white, or blue and pink maybe. This point, I think, colors a lot of these discussions. Dean cooks, he cleans and so therefor he’s female coded. When that really just feeds back into the whole toxic masculinity loop. You can’t be masculine and cook and clean and cry. That’s for feminine people only. 

I get the argument! I do, I just think that Dean’s actions are not inherently feminine, it’s just in the vacuum of Female and in the Absence of Traditional Masculinity it makes sense to assign him female coded and move on.

IN FACT the way that Dean is the action hero of the show, the Masculine™ one on the show - but he cries, and he rages, and he cooks (Again and Again) and cleans (Again and Again). The fact he’s macho and confident but he has so little self esteem. Is frankly insane to me. You have this blaze of glory character who is so depressed that they have him kill himself. Twice. In explicitly “I hate myself, I hate hearing all the things I hate about myself, I want to destroy myself” ways. 

On just a regular ol’ network show that is just ungodly bad at times. They let their Male Hero cry - all the time (if I linked every example of this the essay would be...longer than it already is, but just take my word for it). Dean tears up and grieves and shows more than just Angry Horny Violent™ (he shows plenty of that, don’t get me wrong) but he’s Emotional (Again and Again and Again). In many different ways!

I mean, beyond even just tearing up, they make their Male Hero™ face sexual violence in pretty, uniquely horrifying - and queer! - ways.

Let’s make it clear, they did a lot of this unintentionally. 

Or they do it as a joke. 

Off of dean for a moment to say women are plot devices in this show. I could probably count on one hand female characters who have sincere depth to them that have roles outside of progressing plot, filling a filler episode, and who are still alive. Like even characters such as Charlie who are wholly developed, and interesting, are only remembered/mentioned/utilized to progress plots or fill an episode out - and then she dies. For pain™ for plot™ for no other reason than to traumatize a character. 

Which let’s also make it clear Dean’s trauma is also only used as a plot device (as is Sam’s but in a different way, and Cas’ trauma is a whole other barrel of fish we’re not gonna dive into right now). Like wholesale full stop they don’t actually care about what happened to him. Unless it’s relevant in an episode. 

Oh that boys home he was left at when he was 16 for months? Sure we’ll sprinkle that in in the back half of the series. Oh he was covered in bruises and said it was from a hunt (when it’s clear contextually they were from his father but saying the fantastical but true is easier than saying the uncomfortable but true). As Dean says though the story became the story, he was sixteen. He just went along with what John said.

We only see Dean ever truly rage at John, by the way, when either Dean is dead (when he’s between life and death and he rages at John, right before John “apologizes” for traumatizing him, for putting too much on Dean’s shoulders, and fucking dying) or John is dead (the Djinn episode where Dean is straight™ and John is dead™ and he goes to his grave and just yells and rages like he should have to his father in the real world).

Dean’s trauma from being both tortured and torturer in hell? Yeah, we don’t talk about that after it’s Relevant™. Even though it’s clear - especially in the demon!dean, mark of cain era, all those years later - Alastair still has his hooks inside of Dean. I stopped watching originally after s8 ended. I was fed up with the show, and with this whole renaissance I’ve been doing a rewatch and I’m into season twelve now and it really has never come up again. 

Even when he had the mark of cain and he was tasked with questioning and accused of torturing it was “the mark has changed you” and not “you were victim and victimizer in hell for forty years, which is longer than you’ve been alive on earth” (and, was about as long as he wound up living. Which is desperately sad.

Because we talk about Sam’s desire for a “normal” life but, Dean wanted out too. He was tired in the first few seasons of this show, he never had a chance to taste freedom (we don’t count the boys home, because that was a different kind of regimented life, and it was a false freedom) the way that Sam did in Flagstaff with Bones or at Stanford with Jessica. Love for Dean is sacrificing, it’s putting himself/his happiness/his well-being last.

Because Dean only knows love in the context of violence (like all of these fun examples, for starters) is a phrase that I’ve said a lot both in private chats and on here, and I absolutely think it goes to him being a tool (a blunt instrument, a plot device, so both textually and metatextually) instead of a person. Which Cas sees Dean’s shame/guilt and sees that side of Dean because he touched his soul, and saw more than just the Righteous™ man, more than just the tool, he saw A good man, not a machine. 

On the other side though you have how “bad guys” view Dean: Desperate, Sloppy, Needy, Dean’s hole (Again), which is again so wildly counterintuitive to the story of a Macho Man Hero™. You’re using vocabulary that is both queering him and feminizing (and I know this a meme format, but sincerely it is done in a derogatory way it is feminizing. It’s breaking him down to bare parts, to a sloppy hole). 

My whole rewatch I have been absolutely fascinated by how identity and free will is utilized/conceptualized on this show. Castiel has been my main focus, but Dean and how he is framed by himself and others is...fascinating - and frustrating. The writers inconsistency lends itself not only to this unintentionally queer character, but also one that again is incredibly easily read as a non-traditionally masculine character.

As a feminine character.

This show has so few female characters that of course it had to foist the roles/behaviors/plots that a female character might have onto a male character. Which I think is part of why reading Dean as trans (either transmasc, or transfemme) is so easily done like.   

Half of these are shit posts, but you can find trans allegories/textual evidence in this show again, again, again, again, and again. And this is unintentional, they don’t want you to look at Dean and see woman, former future or present. Like a lot of these I’m sure are punchlines for them, because women/queer folk are punchlines to them. 

Sometimes the only women in an episode are random witnesses who get two sentences of dialogue, and then the main guest character is a man. Who flirts with Dean, and Dean is receptive to it. 

They paint themselves into a corner, there are female Rabbi. So easily could Aaron have been a woman instead of a man, but they made the choice to play up the HaHa Dean & Men card. 

Because, again, Dean has filled the slot of Woman™ of Female Lead™ and the flirting would’ve been straight if Dean was a woman. It’s a plot device, they needed to have the guest character be disarming, be cute, make the main character flustered. 

It’s just the main character is a man, because they’re allergic to women. But they still need those female plots, tools of femininity, to move their show forward. I mean I am a big subscriber to transmasc Jo (no idea if anyone else is with me on this one, but let me explain). Jo is in love with Dean (concept) not Dean (actuality). Which, we’ve all had our eggs cracked by someone like that. We were in love with them until we realized we just wanted to be them.

He loved her like a little sister, she loved him like a lost idol. He’s a golden calf and she dies for him, because she believed in him, she was the original character dashed at the altar of the Winchesters. 

I fully believe if she had lived and if this show had a crumb of actual good writing Jo could have been a deeply compelling transmasc character. But I also think she’s a fascinating inversion of Dean. Dean is a Masculine Character who subverts Toxic Masculinity, Jo is a Tomboy™ she’s not your (if you take it straight, literally and metaphorically) average female love interest. She’s angry, she’s not soft at all, all edges and corners and thorns. She isn’t helpless, she’s stubborn but not in a “you’re going to get punished for this” way. She’s right when she’s stubborn. She’s helpful, she’s a martyr. 

I could do a whole other essay just on Jo (and Ellen, and Ash, what a fucking trio!) but needless to say Jo was one of the first...plot device feminine tools sacrificed to this show. She was a regular, she was unique, she was an engaging character, and she still died (to progress the plot? no. for man pain? yeah, for like three episodes maybe, and then it’s forgotten just like the rest of Dean’s trauma, as we mentioned above). 

Dean and Women and Love is a very interesting tool used too because. Boy they sure try to make Dean love women and it fails in small ways, and in big, meaningless, failed het domesticity (again) ways. Not to mention whatever Lust (in the form of a woman) having no effect upon him, when they could have used that moment to assert his Masculinity and Heterosexuality. He behaved normally? And...also...whatever the fuck the Adios thing was!

Like they have these opportunities to make him Traditionally (toxically) Masculine, but make the choice to...not? To soften him. Because it’s a tool. He’s their female lead, textually he had to take on the role of mother(/father) to Sam, but...I mean this is a million miles long already. I know, but we absolutely can’t not talk about his Paternal/Maternal behaviors. (Which appear again and again again and again, outside of his relationship with Sam even/especially). He’s the mother hen, sage, safety net, beacon, home to so many side characters they meet.

I mean in many ways Jody is also a Dean comparison. Lost her family. Found a new family. She is non-traditionally feminine, but easily flustered and Silly™ (let’s just drop the entire sex talk over family dinner scene with Alex and the boys and looking to them for help, even though she was already a mother, and she’s a cop, and a hunter and this confident no nonsense individual.... She’s not). We are meant to see her as this hard ass, but she makes extra food for the boys to take back to the bunker. She’s deadly in a fight, but also still easily overwhelmed and put into damsel mode, and she cares so much even in the face of adversity.

It’s also fun to see how Jo | Jody are reflections of Dean at different points of his life. Younger, cocky | Older, settled.

Even when the text tries to tell us that he’s not.

When it reminds us that he’s violent. That he is his father, even if he says that Sam is more like John (which was reflexive, which was angry because of Adam and how Sam was behaving like Dean in that episode, and yes there are parallels to be drawn between Sam and John, the show barely dives into them). Instead we’re told that Dean is John (Again and  Again and Again and Again). 

So intensely that a fanfictionalized version of the Winchester Gospels makes it an entire fucking musical number. 

And yet, despite the texts insistence to make Dean Macho Man Father Reborn™ We get this Dean who is silly (and directly compared/contrasted to the female character in this scene), soft, in heels, nagging, and... Sully (you know Sam’s imaginary friend who has the same Haircut Dean has, who is a softer, shorter, friendlier, campier, version of Dean who was a replacement For Dean until the real one let Sam back in? That? Sully?) it’s hard to take them seriously. 

Hell, even when he was A DEMON? What did they do? They had him sing off-key drunken karaoke, they had him doing this ! Like that’s your hero, unhinged, free to be as bad as he could be, and you put him in a cowboy hat in a romance with the king of hell. 

The Female Lead, everyone. Who’s biggest betrayal(s) comes at the hands of his love interest (again, a man even though it was an angel who could’ve taken any vessel! who could’ve been recast, who canonically dies admitting his love to Dean - that one), who he tries so hard to be loyal to. 

The contradictions of his character are laughable. He is so emotional, but if he is engaged about his emotions? He shuts down, or he’s exasperated about being asked about them. It really is Female Lead/Only Here For The Plot disease, because everything is more important than him. How’s he doing? Doesn’t matter outside of the context of how x character is doing or that y character is dead. Or his emotions only matter if they’re done in penance. 

They also really do frame him as Pretty Boy™ in a violent way, or in a derogatory manner. They’ll give us homoerotic shots like this or these and never really acknowledge how these are gay shots. Sorry the gun scene is a a straight up sex scene, the beer sip spilling out over his mouth is oral, the scene where Cas fills up Dean’s glass with whisky is also a sex scene, they do this shit on purpose but accidentally queer it up. If Dean was a woman these scenes wouldn’t even matter. They’d be passing moments, but because he is not just a man but A Man™ they’re insane to see.

Not to mention all of these scenes and all the ones I haven’t linked where Dean dresses up. He performs masculinity, but he performs femininity too. He’s a plot device that is slotted in to whatever role they need. He’s Super Straight Butch Man™ but coaches the lesbian on how to successfully flirt with a man. He’s Action Hero™ who sits through a montage with the same lesbian and yays and nays her outfits, and enjoys himself.

Fuck he loves dressing up, he feels better in these costumes because performing a character is easier than being himself. Because who is Dean? He’s a tool, both textually and metatextually. It is exactly how the women and because of the women on the show that Dean is the way that he is. If there was a more steady female presence Dean would not be half as much of a plot device or half as camp/gay/feminine/non-traditionally masculine/queer coded as he is. 

In conclusion....

[impala1967dwinchester]

Sam Winchester: Thoughts

*Credit to the gif owner* 

Pairing: Sam W. x reader 

Pov: Sam 

Warnings: Fluff, Sam can hear the readers thoughts, Sam falling in love with the reader, Dean is here to help the plot

Summary: Sam gets cursed after the Dean, Y/n, and Sam hunt a witch. The next morning when he wakes up all he can hear is Y/n thoughts, and he’s slowly start to fall in love with her. 

A/N: Using @firefly-graphics Sam Winchester divider for this fic. This fic is sorta based on "What women want" with Mel Gibson. A good ol' Romantic Comedy.

Word Count: 2.3k

Main Masterlist Sams Masterlist 

Taglist: @sweetdetectivequeen​

A witch hunt couldn't possibly go wrong, right? Especially with the Winchester boys.

"Look lady, sit down before I shoot," Dean shouted, causing Y/n to flinch. Just enough of a flinch that I would be having a conversation with Dean later about no yelling so much.

The witch sat down, but what nobody noticed she was casting a spell under her breath. Dean, Y/n, and I had huddled together trying to figure out what we were going to ask this damn witch.

My back facing the witch. Dean looking over my shoulder looking angrily at the lady. Y/n had her game face on. She sometimes followed us around like lost puppies, but damn was she a fucking awesome hunter.

Sometimes better than Dean and I put together.

When I say that she followed us around like lost puppies I mean she never said what she thought. Dean or I would come up with a plan and she never put input in. Just kinda did what she was told. Reminds me of a younger version of Dean and myself.

Working our asses off for John, all for it to be for nothing. A good little soldier and that was all we were to him.

In the end, Dean just ended up letting the witch go since she hadn't any information. We all pilled back into the impala for the drive back to the bunker.

Y/n fell asleep in the back seat curled into a ball and looking rather peaceful. "Y'know I was thinking lover boy that maybe she could stay permanently with us," Dean said referring to Y/n in the backseat.

I just rolled my eyes before turning to look out the window. The drive was shortened by the fact that at one point my eyes were open and scanning the passing environment.

And the next minute I was dreaming a nice dream. I had a family a beautiful wife standing on our front patio, and watching our daughter and I play with our puppy.

It was nice, it was peaceful. But when I was looking around my dream, I noticed that every face was blank. Well, there goes the normal dream.

The shaking of my body woke me up. "Yo, wake up. Get your shit and go the bed." Dean said, pushing me closer to the passenger side door.

Stumbling out, I walked groggily to the back of the impala and grabbed my bags. Slinging them over my shoulder, I saw Dean try to pull Y/n from the back.

"Sweetheart, we made it home." Dean whispering. His hands falling underneath her knees, carefully picking her up out of the impala. "Open the door would Ya, instead of just standing and staring," Dean said still whispering.

I ran over to the door opening it. "Dude get some sleep, I'll get Y/n settled in, kay," Dean said passing me. Shrugging my shoulders and yawning as I walked to my room.

Stripping down to my boxers I collapsed into bed, loving the coolness of my sheets. Within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I was out like a light.

Dreaming wasn't something that always happened for me, not since I first started hunting with Dean. But those weren't dreams those were more like nightmares, of people that I couldn't save.

I fell back into the same dream as before, still no faces. But the woman I assumed was my wife as a familiar voice, our daughter was what seemed like she was tops five or six.

Cute little thing, long brown hair like my own, wearing a cute sundress that was blue with green flowers printed on it. ' Dear, are you guys ready for dinner?' the woman asked me. I tried to not stare at the fact that she had no face, so I just hummed. Picking up our daughter.

'Tank you for playing with me daddy!' my daughter said to me bringing her small hands and arms and hugging me around my neck. Besides having no faces everything else seemed normal, my wife's voice seemed all too familiar and it was honestly getting at me. Before I was able to ask her something I was pulled from my dreams.

Waking up was a bitch. My neck was sore, and so were my shoulders. Deciding that today I wouldn't take that mile run, I opted for staying in bed just a bit longer this morning.

Finally getting up when I smelled coffee being made in the kitchen. Grabbing a pair of sweats that were laying around, I slipped my slippers on and went to go get some coffee.

The first thing I saw when I walked in was Dean dancing along to his horrible 70s and 80s rock. Flipping pancakes and sizzling bacon. 'God, why'd he choose no shirt this morning' "Huh? Did you say something Y/n?" I asked her, looking at her for the first time since last night.

She had her hair up in a messy bun, wearing a flannel of Dean, and a baggy pair of shorts. "No, I didn't say anything, Sam," Y/n said pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, continuing reading her book.

Okay Sam you have to admit that was odd and kinda creepy. Not that I mind being complimented, but still weird. "You gonna get your cup of coffee or just stand there looking like an idiot!" I heard Dean crack.

"No," I answered back grabbing a coffee cup that was next to the machine. 'Jeez Dean way to be an asshole towards Sam.' There it was again Y/n voice.

Turning around rather quickly which only hurt my neck even more. "Did you just say that?" I asked panic starting to overtake my body and instincts. y/n looked over at Dean, causing Dean to look over at me.

"Dude what are you going on about?" He asked me... eyes big I just waved his question off, "Never mind I think I must have hit my head last night." I said just wanting my morning coffee more than anything.

The rest of the morning went by fine. No hearing Y/n voice, but then again, she wasn't around for the rest of the morning. "I'm heading out to the shops; I need a new pair of jeans. If either one of you wanna head out with me that's fine too. If not that's okay too guys." Y/n said mostly talking and looking at me.

'Please come out with me Sammy' I heard. Ignore it, rolling my eyes before speaking again. "No, it's okay. Dean?" I spoke. "Nah, I'm fine dear. But thanks." Dean said using his signature wink.

As Y/n walked away I heard her voice again, 'Jesus Dean, stop with the nicknames, and the winking. Obviously, it's not working.' That was the last I heard the sentence.

Dean wants to be with Y/n. I don't, I can't see that going very well, Dean sees Y/n more as a sister than anything else. What does that mean it's not working?

Hours later Y/n came into the bunker carrying a few bags. "I thought you only needed a pair of jeans, Y/n?" Dean snarked. "I did, but you guys were running out of some things, so I grabbed some other shit." Y/n countered.

Well, I can't deny that Dean and Y/n do have a certain chemistry, one that she and I just don't have. "what did you get?" I asked moving the conversation along. "I umm... I got you guys some t-shirts, some more socks, and just something fun for both of you." She said shyly.

"That's great, thank you. Did you have an okay time?" I asked, 'No, Sam I didn't that's why I wanted you to go with me. So many gross old men hit on me.' I heard Y/n's face was only scrunched up for a few seconds.

"Yeah, I had a perfectly fine time. Really did enjoy the alone time." Y/n said winking at us. Dean just rolled his eyes and jumped up to go through the bags, but Y/n swatted his hands away.

Digging into the bag she pulled out pie for Dean and he took off with it like he was a squirrel. Y/n looked back over to me and then started to look through the other bags. "Here Sam. I didn't know if you already had this book, but I thought why not." She said, shrugging her shoulder in a cute sort of way.

"Here for a gift return, a Winchester hug, yeah?" I said laughing a little bit. "I don't see why not, I heard that they're hard to come by," Y/n said back rounding the table in an effort to get on a very one-sided hug.

I hadn't realized until recently how much shorter Y/n was compared to me. I could fully rest my chin on her head. 'God I could use this more often' I squeezed her in my arms. 'God, he smells so great' I heard again, she nuzzled her face into my chest. 'He gives much better hugs than Dean.' I heard.

Y/n was the one to let go of the hug, not me. I was starting to realize that it was in fact Y/n I was hearing just not the words coming out of her mouth, it was her thoughts.

That night I convinced Dean that I could make dinner. For the time I was at college and dating Jessica I had learned some good enough cooking skills. "Fine whatever you do just don't ruin my pans and pots!" Dean screamed from his bedroom as I walked away.

That night I cooked a shrimp alfredo, and chicken alfredo with noodles. Something simple but it was mostly all the food that we had left in the bunker kitchen.

"Dinners ready you two!" I hollered from the library, Dean running from the garage, and on the other side of me was Y/n walking down the hallway. 'Look at him, damn chiefs' apron' I looked down and saw that the apron said "kiss the cook" Damn Dean.

'I'd definitely kiss that cook.' I heard as she walked past me. I just followed her with my gaze, mouth slightly open. Hoping that it wouldn't fall straight to the floor.

"Well dig in. It won't kill you, Dean." Y/n said. Dean just put his hands up in defense it's not like he had said anything but we all know he was thinking it instead.

Dinner went by quickly, few words from any of us, and not many thoughts passing through Y/n's mind. Besides 'Damn, he's got skills, 'So much better than Dean would ever do' I snorted when I heard that thought. Dean looked over at me, "What's so funny Samuel?" He spoke.

I rolled my eyes, "It's Sam, Samuel sounds like an old fashion name" I said. "Nothing is wrong Dean." I finished. 'If nobody thought you guys were brothers, they should spend at least a few hours with you.' I heard.

"Can we not fight at the dinner table, please Dean," I asked. I was trying to lean into what Y/n was saying, or more thinking. By the end of dinner Dean had eaten another serving and was now on his second piece of apple pie and a glass of hard crown apple whiskey the Y/n had bought earlier that day.

"Good night you two love birds. Tweet tweet. I'm heading to bed." Dean said kissing Y/n's temple, and patting my shoulder he walked out of the library.

"I'm sorry about him, Y/n. He doesn't have a sensor." I said apologizing for my older brother. Y/n got up waving him off and grabbed the leftover dishware.

I followed behind her grabbing what she couldn't. "He's fine. He should know better, but he's okay Sammy." Y/n said. Not many people called me Sammy besides Dean and Y/n, but it always seemed sweeter coming out of her mouth.

Y/n started to wash dishes. "Can I ask you a question Y/n?" She hummed, so I continued on. "Why do you never say anything while we are on a hunt. You don't always have to follow out stupid ideas...." I said noticing that Y/n had now turned around and was facing me.

"Look I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that I'd like to know what you're thinking for a while. especially when we are on a hunt. Your opinions matter to me. I hope you know that." I said, crossing my arms across my chest.

'Shut up would Ya'. You don't know how much that means to me.' "I know that you can hear what I'm thinking." Well, that went south very quickly and my stupid facial expression doesn't help the situation. "How long have you known?" I asked.... We stood in silence beside the water in the sink running. "Since before dinner when I was thinking about kissing the amazing chef that made dinner. Because I would still kiss the chef." Y/n said. setting the plate down on the kitchen island.

'Do you want me to kiss you, Samuel?' She said in her thought. I hummed. Shaking my head, licking my lips in anticipation. 'Words Sammy Dear.' She thought. "Just come over here. If this is what happens when I can hear your thoughts, I may be okay with being cursed by a witch ever so often." I said before our lips crashed together.

Our kiss was short-lived when Y/n left mine. "What are you talking about the witch from last night's hunt?" I shook my head. "We need to go get that witch, kill her, get her to remove the curse. Whatever, because as much as it's cute somethings a girl wants to keep to herself." Y/n said, coming back up to my lips and pecking them.

"You're gonna be the death of me," I said, before following her over to the sink to help wash dishes. I think I might have fallen in love with you Y/n. I thought.

"Hey... I heard that." Y/n said. I rolled my eyes, "No you didn't." Confusion replaced Y/ns soft features. "Okay, what did I say then, Y/n?" I asked. "I think I might have fallen in love with you Y/n" Y/n answered.

"Damn it. We really gotta find that witch, Samuel." Y/n said.

Completed on: 04/11/2021