#like weeaboos. but for corporations

[a-teardrop-of-the-sun]

I work as a notetaker/scribe for students with disabilities in my local universities. Shoutout to this absolutely batshit specimen of a lecturer

[hurgablurg]

hate to um-akshully Jonah but because he is now a weebtuber so its ok

“kayfabe” is not actually japanese in origin. it was originally a term used in the American wrestling scene, but the origin itself is unknown, having many theories from being pig-latin for “be fake”, a mutation of “keep cavey”, or even borrowing from the name of a supposed wrestler named Kay Fabian. None of these have been necessarily proven.

regardless, it’s more easily described as “stay in character”, maintaining the illusion the narrative puts forth. Vtubing, much like wrestling, is one big cooperative narrative to tell stories and encourage the audience to suspend disbelief, to enjoy the show.

oh also related but rant-y note, the parasocial nature of the incorporated vtuber industry is disgusting - it’s just regular idol culture but the actors have to keep up appearances for longer periods of time, with the only grace being the slight anonymity the avatar provides. Any “impropriety” like having a partner, not talking right, being “unmarketable”, is grounds for termination because a bunch of degenerate weeaboo fanboys want to believe that they are in a relationship with an anime character, and would throw violent tantrums and send literal death and rape threats and dox actors (and already have many times) if they had their little fantasy broken. It’s revolting, a betrayal and bastardization of the kayfabe, turning a safety net into a cage, and I hope each and every fanboy (especially them), producer, talent scout, and corporate executive attached to these projects is melted alive in a big ol’ pool of jizz and piss over the course of several days leaving the actors to pursue their careers with their characters on their own terms. Love most vtubers, hate the “vtuber industry”.

[duskwingmoth]

Real actual weeaboos are pitifully sad to behold. They, as a collective, have not and refuse to get over Transformers and He-Man and all their ilk. Newer and younger members of that camp are a lot more likely to cite more recent western productions (e.g., Teen Titans GO!), but the root is the same: Reagan-era crassness had no respect for animation and birthed a vein of corporate rot in cartoons, and they fell prey to it, and so they hold all of western animation accountable.

And it's patently ridiculous. They have held bitter angry enmity for anything that's not True Blue Japanese Anime for 40+ years because they wasted some of their idle childhood days watching mediocre half-hour toy commercials. How pathetic, honestly; I lost my fair share of hours to substance-free crap like Cow & Chicken when I was a kid, not because I liked it but because it was on, and no adults bothered to make me do anything better. You don't see me holding a vendetta against the entire concept of literally 95% of the world trying to make a moving picture with drawings.

That is their entire identity; opposition to human creativity except for this particular archipelago of people that they proceed to fetishize openly and with glee. People who themselves cite western animation as a key inspiration for the synthesis that would be anime. It's a hill of abstract, incoherent, racist nonsense; little wonder most weebs wind up being fascists, they already do the Nazis' cultural song and dance, simply replace the mythical Aryans with the very real Japanese citizens.

All because they watched a cartoon and were mad about it. of all the things to hold resentment over, this certainly ranks as one of the most foolish.

[youmegravity]

I saw a comment like "it sucks this anime isn't watchable in the west" yes it is! It took me 2 seconds to find it! There are still weeaboos out there making fansubs! Oh are you too much of a corporate-loving goody two-shoes to go looking for it?

Sometimes I forget some people actually watch Anime through streaming. Back in my day we didn't have crunchyroll, there were no 'legal means'. We watched it through shady piracy sites and we were happy! pff kids these these have never even known Kissanime

[venus-is-in-bloom]

i have this developing hypothesis that everyone who plays mmorpgs as a serious pastime—enough to talk about them on public forums or make youtube videos or like, engage with the associated community in any way—has something wrong with their head. like maybe they're online purely to cultivate a tiny club where they can have incredibly serious and deeply involved personal drama, or they're complete weeaboos who unabashedly call characters that look and sound like children their "waifus", or they spend 5-6 hours each day defending a wealthy corporation and swearing that it has their best interests in mind, or something like that. personally my problem is that i spent my entire closeted childhood projecting my gender fantasies onto a player avatar and haven't given that up yet, and i think that's substantially less embarrassing than whatever everyone else has going on, but it's still the case that you don't get anything out of games like these unless there is something wrong with you.

[smokeybrand]

I Still Function

So i’ll be 34 this year. I was born in those weird tweeny years between Gen X and the accepted Millennial realization. Technically, i am a Millennial but since i caught the tail end of the 80s, we have our own sub category. I’ve heard the term Xennial or Proto-Millenial thrown around but i always prefers The Oregon Trail Generation, mostly because we all played Oregon Trail in grade school. Motherf*cker stayed dying of dysentery! Essentially, i had my formative years in the 90s but grew up i the 80s. As such, i got to be semi-privy to all of that Reagan nonsense; trickle down decay, bullsh*t Nuclear family ideal, outright war on the minority community, and the rampant corporate greed that he left unchecked. Aside from a stock market crash and wild inflation, we got a deregulation on corporate advertising. In direct response, these morally bankrupt companies flooded the market with commercials masquerading as cartoon series targeting, kids just like me. And boy did that sh*t work!

G.I. Joe, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Jem, Dinosaucers, My Little Pony, Care Bears, ThunderCats, SilverHawks, Go-Bots; i can go on for years, man! The vast majority of 80s cartoons, the entertainment i had as a child, were specifically designed to sell toys. They were cynically created for the sole purpose of profit but transformed into something more. Pun intended. A handful of these cash-grabs became so much more than just toy plugs. He-Man and G.I. Joe are stalwarts in American Pop Culture, just like Barbie, but the biggest star of the 80s toy entertainment revolution, Transformers, has become a goddamn powerhouse!

Transformers, to me, was like the first time older 20-somethings watched Dragon Ball Z or Naruto. It was a goddamn revelation. My pops was a fan od Speed Racer so i had a rudimentary understanding of what anime was. I jumped from there, headfirst into Gundam and Dunbine bootlegs. I eventually found my way to a pure love for the giant robot genre thanks to Macross and Go-Lion (Robotech and Voltron, respectively, for the Americans in the audience). At 4 years old, i remember finding a VHS for the first two episodes on the Transformers show in my local Blockbuster. Suffice it to say, i was immediately hooked. Imagine my surprise when i got older and realized that, everyone of my beloved Transformers, were based on the Japanese Takara toy line, Diaclone. Mostly. There were a few exception; Jetfire was actually that transforming robot jet from Macross, but they were still Japanese properties. My burgeoning weeabooness, thanks to Godzilla and Voltron, ate that sh*t up.

Those first two seasons of Transformers were iconic. They set forth a real, cultural, phenomenon behind dope ass characters, deep lore, and a crazy ass gimmick. Objectively, robots that turned into other things, seems like a no-brainer but no one was doing it. Hasboro had the wherewithal to bring in actual writers, actual creators, to create a world and universe a la Star Wars. Jim Shooter, Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief at the time, roughed an overall concept and Bob Budiansky put the final touches on Shooter’s work. Hasboro loved what they presented and Marvel set off with a four issue mini series comic adaption while Sunbow dropped a three part television pilot. Transformers became an overnight success. Much like all of it’s other cookie-cutter commercial cartoons of it’s day, there was a distinct lack or substance to the original series but no one cared. Most kids were just regaled by the dope ass toys and the wildly unique characters presented.

The War between the Autobots and Decepticons set the tiny imagination of little Ryan ablaze. As an adult, looking back, i can honestly say G1 was trash. It was mad transparent with it’s agenda. But i din’t care because Starscream is dope as sh*t. Screamer was just the best thing for me.He was my Vegeta before Vegeta. I Adored his smarmy cockiness and zealous ambition. It helped tremendously that his particular voice actor, Chris Latta, was one of the best o work. His distinct voice gave a real personality, a true uniqueness, to the Seeker commander. Latta actually voiced a ton of characters i enjoyed as a a kid. Fun fact, he was also the voice of Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe and the original voice to Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. The more you know.

Aside from the legendary Chris Latta, Transformers also employed true legends of the industry in Peter Cullen and Frank Welker in the leader roles of their opposing factions. Optimus Prime IS Peter Cullen. Frank Welker IS Megatron. It doesn’t work when other people voice them in other media. One of the reasons i dislike the Bayformers franchise (more on that later) is because Michael Bay made Frank Welker audition for the role of Megatron. He made Megatron audition for Megatron, and then PASSED on him! He told Megatron he was wasn’t Megatron enough to play Megatron. The f*cking audacity! Hugo Weaving did a decent job, he has a very unique tenor to his voice, but after seeing the test footage of Welker over Gay’s version of Megatron on the special feature to the first Transformers flick, i could never get into the series. It helps tremendously that they’re all terrible, too.

Characters like Bumblebee, Soundwave, Prowl, Jazz, Shockwave, Ultra Magnus, Rodimus Prime (for better or worse), Grimlock, Devastator, Laserbeak, Arcee, and many others have become icons. These are legacy monikers that mean so much to a fandom that has stood the testament of time. Over the last 34 years, Transformers has exploded into a force. We were given cutting edge classics like Beast Wars, light-hearted takes on the the mythos like Animated, and a more adult incarnation that, i think, is the best of the franchise without nostalgia armor, Transformers Prime. These shows elevated the mythos and carried that torch of love from my generation, to my little brothers pee group, all the way through the Gen Y kids and whoever is after them. You don’t get o be around for 34 years and not find a way to evolve with the times, to grow with your demo. In that regard, i have to give credit to Bayformers. Though, i hate those films with a passion and it’s obvious Micheal Bay has no respect for the source material, his films are the most visible of the entire franchise. They act as an easy entry point for people to dip their toe into, often leading to a tumble down that Cybertron rabbit hole into some of the richest, most convoluted, lore you can imagine.

I mean, there are excellent comics dating all the way back to the 80s from Marvel. Dreamwave had a decent run before their bankruptcy but IDW is out here doing gods work in the print. There is a plethora of brilliant stories being told set in the many realities of the Transformers Multiverse. And it’s a goddamn pleasure to sort all of that out. There are a ton of Japan only continuations of the G1 cartoon like Headmaster and Super God Masterforce as well as outright anime versions (complete with all of the anime tropes that accompany mecha shows out there) that are relatively popular. We’ve come full circle, man! I mean, there are also  not so... okay versions of stuff out there like KISS players. Stay away from Kiss players. That sh*t is whack, son. Still, Japan did give us Guiltar. That motherf*cker is too dope!

I adore Transformers. I love them like i love my wife or pancakes. A ton of my pleasant childhood memories are tied up in them Robots in Disguise. More than that, though, i love how far they’ve come. Seeing this franchise blow up into a full-on movement does my heart good. Even though there inception was one of dubious greed, the franchise has outgrown those sordid beginnings to be come a breeding ground of creativity and fun. Their popularity has created a five movie, six if you count this Bumblebee spin-off, cinematic universe that rivals the success of the MCU. Well, more the Fast franchise but you get my point. No one is taking out the 300 lbs. gorilla in the Disney backed MCU. Those motherf*ckers are printing money right now. But the fact that Transformers is probably the second most popular universe out there, speaks volumes to it’s popularity. I’e been firmly on this bandwagon for 30 years and have no intention of jumping off. I’m in it for another 30 and looking forward to the future.

[rametarin]

So I was grumbling about V:tM 5e to myself just now.

And you know what? In a way, 5e IS a worthy successor to EARLY EARLY 90s White-Wolf games. But that’s not a compliment.

What do I mean by that?

Well 1st gen White-Wolf was a different time.

This was when Goth was not a catered to niche. Goth was its own secret sub-culture of dispirited and disenfranchised and somewhat depressed pseudo-troubled teens. It was influenced by rock and edginess and the rise of feminism appropriating/fabricating wicca and generic witchery.

It incorporated environmentalism, and then the pagan-y elements of said environmentalism, where young people stole off to party and have orgies and bonfires and shit, like kids do.

it grumbled about capitalism and corporations, ‘killing the planet for profit,’ and waxing melodramatic about the destruction of animal species, indigenous cultures and a moment to reflect on how evil white people are.

So a bunch of white guilt loaded nerds all hopped up on suburbanite heathenism, drug use, choice 60s-late 80s bands at the time put their thoughts and fantasies (urban fantasies, one might say) to paper. And what did we get?

We got a gothic punk game with undertones where you could add pedophile priests, dumb jocks, preppies and corporate figureheads into the games to act as antagonists, people that run oil barges into arctic wildlife reserves for the fun of it and because the death and destruction of life pollutes the spirit world with corruption, heavy handed “white people raised to be bad/are bad” racism stories, and more.

We got said white apologist people that thought they were better than the regular common unapologetic and ignorant rubes that either didn’t know, “America was stolen or conquered,” or didn’t care, and sought to add that wokeness to the fluff and meta of the stories. Deliberately trying to add more than just the centerpiece of Christian mythology to the misc. fluff and validate other cultures and other nations and races cosmologies as being equally valid and the truth being somewhere beyond human comprehension. Which in their eyes, was progressive, but even at the time was cheesy as hell and tokenist.

We got the game system literally making Gypsies a thing, like they were a different game supplement/race with unique powers and abilities you could be with their own special powers and shit- which is not unlike if they made a whole game sourcebook for Jews, if you think about it. We got Kindred of the East, which was so PAINFULLY mid-90s weeaboo and stole a lot of material of the Wan Xian from some D&D supplement. And since western mythology and eastern mythology was so different, reconciling them was fucking impossible in the fluff/meta.

It got to where they wanted to say that the game Exalted was a pre-World of Darkness and that is what came before the world we know, but that got shamed and embarrassed out of them. They quietly started sweeping Kuei-jin and Hengeyokai under the rug in the meta because they always took priority and superiority any time the supplements mixed and they were all so much purer and harmonious and magnificent for being East Asian and shit, not like us born-evil western uncultured slime.

While they thought they were celebrating different cultures and mythologies by incorporating them and thinking positively of them in the game, the same way they were incorporating more western civilization type mythologies, treating them all as valid religions and beliefs but also using them to be soft introductions to other cultures.

It was simultaneously putting themselves on a soap box to bitch about how evil white people are from the position of someone appropriating them in fiction to make it canon that all these poor souls and cultures were destroyed by them evil evil white colonials. Actual game supplements where the restless dead of those colonized would play out masturbatory revenge fantasies and shit.

Or stuff like that Werewolf supplement. The tribe called the Children of Gaia, and their tribe book. Everybody that met the tribal totem spirit, Unicorn, appeared differently to whatever member of the Garou met and saw them.

A standard unicorn to some dude.

A Lisa Frank technicolor rainbow vomit and plastic smell ultra girly 3-ring binder kinda unicorn, for some white girl.

And of course, the black girl listed in the tribe book, the token embodiment of the afrocentrist woke revolutionist, got a single-horned ZEBRA. Black Girl magic, OOOO.

And then we have the ENTIRE werewolf tribe that EMBODIES feminism. The Greek Amazon themed Black Furies. And they are quite literally TERFs. Which is why there were originally no men allowed on their island. Then by the time the tribe book came out, they renegged and allowed males, but ONLY those males that were the infertile byproducts of werewolf/werewolf relationships, known.. hilariously un-PC.. as Metis. Metis in Werewolf are all deformed (kangaroo legs, cyclops, palsied arm, dragon scales, vestigal limbs, etc.)

It’s still a Greek Amazon fantasy that was meant to appeal to tough girl butch/lesbian, “MEN ARE TRASH” girls in the early 90s, with incredible association to witches and peaceful pagans and healing mother love magic and all that “mighty warrior but also a mommy” and “women are creators so that means men are DESTRUCTORS” schtick.

So. You have a meta that starts out pretty bad. And then as the game develops through 2nd edition to 3rd edition, it refines and breaks off a lot of the unrepentnat and shameless white guilt to make the franchise a bit better about it. it’s still the same cheesy gothic punk stuff that pulls no punches about pedophile/cannibal priests and clergy staff in overpowered churches, Midwestern Gothic with werewolves fighting evil cryptids in the corn at night in Kansas.

It legitimately got better. It really did. By the 3rd edition they took the angry and coarse stuff and refined it. It still had the bad stuff but they made it into something that was better.

The Bad Guy stopped just being white people wearing a mask over their klan hood and started being cosmological forces. It was still un-PC to go after any group of religious extremists because, “that was prejudice against them!”.. but you could kinda edge around that by demanding if we’re so happily trashing all over the local Catholics and depicting all the protestants as cousin fucking The Hills Have Eyes people, we do the same for Muslims and Jews.

Third edition and then 20th Anniversary Edition really was the pinnacle of WoD. All the problematic elements were refined to be as least offensive and obnoxious and self-hating as they could be, with the understanding that ultimately they were a product of their times. It wasn’t some sheltered angry angsty ignorant self-hating white suburbanite kid’s soap box “Klansman Killing Simulator” anymore, though you still beheaded your fair share of klansmen.

And then.... After 20th Anniversary Edition... comes 5e.

And what did 5e add, first crack at it in 2020?

The Thin-Blooded vampires, basically the vampire babies whose blood is so weak they don’t even share the unique breed/bloodline characteristics of their CLAN, get a weak and lousy form of blood magic, or alchemy. And the level 1 power, the weakest of the bunch, is...

It’s a perfect Gender Shift power. Basic level 1, a Thin Blood can gender-change and it’s permanent.

5e perfectly follows 1e. A game with rules and features and characteristics and metafluff that perfectly encompasses the wanna-be woke ramblings of privileged self-hating white people. That 5-20 years from now, are just going to be laughed at as being so horribly problematic.

And is going to feature said privileged, self-hating woke kids blushing, cringing, and going, “Hahaha guys. Yeah. I admit. My white society and upbringing made me blind and ignorant to how problematic I was, and still kinda am! But I’m trying to improve!” Completely missing that their shallow wokeness itself is what caused that. Them trying to dust their hands of responsibility for their shallowness, that’ll remain shallow bullshit until then and just mutate and change with the times.

And will continue to be like that because that’s just how self-infatuated, self-hating, surface level “wokeness” is. From the juvenile critiques of capitalism as the root of all the evils, to treating only the colonialism of Europeans from the 1600s to now as the world’s ultimate evil and all poverty and exploitation rooted in Europe, the world over.

So. Bravo, White-Wolf. I thought 5e was a departure from the good, but honestly.. It started bad and became good. 5e really is a form-to-function return to World of Darkness’ roots. As a soap box mouthpiece for overprivileged candy kids, from California to New York to Canada.

Fucking bravo.

[wandringaesthetic]

@semi-important ‘Dude if this is how badly this effects you, go scorched earth and try again. You've got good things ahead of you, and clearly not with you now.’ 

I want you to know that I turned your reply to this over in my head for a while to try to determine whether the degree to which it rubbed me the wrong way was justified, and I ultimately decided that it was.

As you probably guessed, I was replying off the cuff to the vague corporate speak post made today by tumblr staff that implied the addition of more suggested/algorithmic content. They’ve since reworded that and walked that back, but I think it was a reasonable conclusion to reach given the post, and I think responding to that idea with frustration and anger is justified.

I have been on this website off and on for over ten years at this point. It would be more pathological if I DIDN’T feel some sort of emotions and attachment to it. The time I didn’t spend here I spent on twitter, and was the proverbial boiling frog as they gradually scraped away the ability to limit your timeline to just chronological posts made just by people you chose to follow. I started to wonder why I kept going back to the website that made me sad or angry more often than not and played with the idea of deleting my account until the Musk purchase finally made it unpleasant 100% of the time rather than 51% of the time and I finally deleted.

My frustration isn’t just with tumblr. It’s with all social media and with the entire web 2.0 corporate internet. If I wanted to be spoonfed shit I didn’t choose I would be on facebook and watching cable TV. The old world is dying and the new world is yet to be born, and all of that. This has happened before, it will happen again. There is an inevitable cultural churn, capitalism just makes it happen a little faster. I don’t really expect better.

But I also don’t want to fucking do this again. So yeah, if tumblr starts rearranging my feed in a way I can’t turn off or it starts giving me suggested content that isn’t OBVIOUSLY suggested content, I’m out. Sayonara you weeaboo shits, as the prophecy foretold. And I’ll be leaving in anger, but not without pain.

Maybe I’ll use my dreamwidth account. Maybe I’ll start a blog. And maybe you’ll just have to find me at the fucking library. Maybe it isn’t worth it, to me, to do it again. Not because I don’t have anything good going on in my life as you seem to believe, not because tumblr is my lifeline, but because now, more than ever, I do not fucking need this.

I haven’t always interacted with this site in a healthy way. I didn’t always interact with twitter in a healthy way. It’s the dopamine slot machine. But both sites have given me good stuff as well as bad or I wouldn’t have kept coming back. Through both sites I was introduced to art I never would have found otherwise. I was introduced to ideas I would never have found so easily. I made a few friends, not a lot, but a few.

Lastly: who the fuck are you? Why the fuck are you here, then? If I don’t have good things going for me, who is the person following the person who doesn’t have good things going for them? I must have said something you found interesting at some point, or you liked the collage of things I like to reblog. Who the fuck are you to tell me I shouldn’t be angry or sad about the slow destruction of things I like?

I WILL delete my account. I WILL go social media scorched earth. I y'all want to find me you're going to have to knock on my fucking door.

[evilblackcat13]

Character Biography : Kim Yung

Warning: Contains Rape, Depression,Suicidal attempts and Abuse

Bio      Full Name : Kim Yung Nickname : Kim, Codename : March Hare, 꾹토끼 (Rabbit) Age : 23   Date of Birth : April 4th 1994 at 4 :44 Zodiac : Aries ascendent Aquarius Blood type : B Sexual Orientation : Heterosexual   Job : Sniper for the U.S.S    Kim was born in the year of the dog at the most unlucky day according to her parents. She was shun all her life because her parents were expecting  her to be the sign of death (4). However, she grew up to be an healthy little girl. At around the age of 10, her 13 years old brother , Jeong, started to repeatedly rape her. Hopefully that he stopped when she turned 13 and had gotten a girlfriend because this was were Kim went through puberty. She kept it a secret because she was sure to be kicked out of the family. Everything was getting worst when she said that after high school she wanted to be a makeup artist. Her parents forced her to be a doctor. She felt like she had no choice since the were always threatening her that they would disown her. In college, she met a guy named Olivier. She felt like she found the man of her dreams. However, he left her after she told him what her parents were expecting of him. It was at the same time that she felt major anxiety in her class and was pressured to find a job. To make things worst, she was secretly seeing a doctor for her depression and was forced to take some Zoloft without her family noticing. The day after the break up, her parents went on how she should be a Korean boy instead of any other race and how Americans are never will treat her how she is supposed to. But seeing her mother forced to do the role of an house wife and how her dreams is to please her husband no matter what with no hopes in the future made her even more frustrated. With everybody on her back, she was very close to want to end it all. She got kidnapped along her forced date to play the recruit assessing game show who was partnered with Umbrella Corporation. She came out on top without the help of the forced boyfriend because of her endurance and athleticism. She took a liking for handling a sniper rifle. She was offered a job as a mercenary but she asked for a 7 days wait to give him a definite answer. She had forgot about it but she was pushed too far. Her parents found out about the Zoloft, forced her to get a new boyfriend, entered without her permission to force her to apply to jobs she didn’t wanted to take and both begged her and forcefully take her card to pay for everything. She ran away with a sign reading " 마침내 나 자랑 스럽니, 엄마? 네가 한 짓을 봐! 이것은 모두 당신 잘못입니다! “ (Are you proud of me at last, Mom? Look what you did! This is all your fault!) hanging around her neck and walked with a rope on the Champlain Bridge. It felt like nothing to walk from Brossard to the middle of the bridge. She had tied the rope around the fence for if ever the fall didn’t kill her. The moment her legs was half way on the other side of the bridge, she received a call. When she answered, it was the call she had forgotten she was supposed to have. She arranged a rendez-vous at Cinko to talk about the job offer. She was looking in distress when she arrived. She was shaking all the way through the conversation and ate a buffet worth of food from the mere thought of if the call never happened she would have never been able to sit there and enjoy the food and get the job offer. She decided to take the job and a temporary dorm inside the facility until she could find an apartment somewhere in Montreal. She started anew around the old Forum and gradually made herself at home. She can’t hide her old scars and forced Pujok tattoo but she started the life she always wanted to live. She also made sure that she changed phone so no one could reach her. If she was going to be disowned by her family if she didn’t do what they wanted, then she would disown them forcing their dreams onto her.

 Likes :

·      Dancing

·      Makeup

·      Bunnies

·      Friends

·      Being Free

·      Living on her own

·      Living on her own terms

·      Gossip / Gossip Magazines

·      K-pop / American Pop / Hip Hop

·      Gyms

·      A « Sex on The Beach »

·      AriZona Green Tea

·      White Moka

 Hates :

·      Being Forced to do stuff she hates

·      Korean Boys

·      Racist Assholes

·      Her Family

·      Weeaboos

·      K-Drama

·      Politic

·      Feeling Trapped

·      Nuclear Families

·      Being Shut Up by traditions

[gyromitra-esculenta]

trying to defeat writer’s block be like throwing stuff at wall and seeing what sticks. so, r76 excerpts out of that one au i was not supposed to write, and maybe sleeps. whatevers. *plants face into desk and sleeps*

The sky is on fire, the rushing clouds washed in crimson rumble with voices of many, and smoldering ash clogs the air, but Jack reaches out with his hand towards the disappearing back of a man he feels he should know – even if he is not sure this is a man, a human, because no human has claws dripping with blood.

Everything is rubble and destruction, death and agony, twisted life and undeath springing up in tangled boughs ripping streets and buildings alike as he falls into a molten blaze in his chase, only to wake up to a lullaby that brings up something buried deep and forgotten.

“Nice of you to join us, sunshine,” red eyes morph into brown, almost black, and Jack releases the breath caught in his throat when Lena elbows Genji and pushes him back.

“Down, dragon boy, I need to check Jack’s…” She fiddles with something on the side of his visor. “Okay, luv, you’re good to go.”

“Sure, sure, baby. And why the fuck are we supposed to go after that Lacroix babe?” Genji rolls his eyes, stretching.

“Don’t question orders. Execute them,” Winston gets up. “Lena?”

“Okay, dears, we’re going to put Amelie Lacroix, hiding out in her luxurious apartment, into our custody. You know, the president of Talon corporation, and they have their finger in so many pies they actually run out of hands.”

“Protective custody,” Winston adds.

“Oh boy, this is going to be so much fun,” Genji snorts, flicking his fingers.

“With the bloodbath that went down in Talon headquarters, which she is tied to directly, we are expecting resistance,” Hanzo mutters under his breath.

“We are doing it by the book,” Winston cuts in, irritation clear in his voice.

“Because,” Lena chirpily adds, “we think that the head honchos at Talon will try to keep her real quiet if anything. If you know what I mean. Chop-chop quiet. Glasgow smile quie…”

“Enough, Lena,” Winston grumbles when APC stops. “You come with me, Hanzo with Reinhardt, and you, Genji, with Jack.”

“Fuck it, why do I have to go with him?” Jack sighs in agreement.

“Because you’re being a luv, as usual,” Lena giggles, jumping out. And Jack… Jack has a very bad feeling about this all as his HUD flickers.

*

There is a certain dreamlike quality to the column of fire that rises into the sky and the blast wave feels like a caress as the red eyes turn towards him.

“Always rushing in, Sunshine.”

Jack knows he should not survive this, the wind, the debris, the heat, but somehow he hears Lacroix’s level voice above as his vision cuts out.

“We need to run the containment protocol.”

*

“He’s going into cardiac,” one of the surgeons mentions at the pain that blossoms in his chest. “Give him two hundred for a start.”

Somehow, Jack sees himself on that table, all tinted in blood-red, and monsters tear at his flesh.

*

The explosion was real. It happened, the electromagnetic storm painting the sky visible through glass roof with pastel colors is a proof of that and Jack knows he should be blind. He stared right into the fiery red inferno.

Then maybe he is blind as he follows a vaguely human visage, a truly more animalistic thing with claws dripping blood, through the battlefield the hospital has become.

Soon he realizes that the windows are merely screens, broken, repeating a flashing image of the artificial sky. They are underground.

*

“Oh, thank god, Jack, here,” Lena calls him over the communicator.

“Sergeant Morrison, come, step into the chamber,” Lacroix adds on the intercom. ‘Said the spider to the fly’, Jack chuckles darkly to himself just as he does what he is told.

“Amelie, uh, just asking, but are his lil swimmers going to be okay after that?” God, leave it to Lena, to ask the important and cringe-worthy questions.

“That, Cherie, should be the least of our concerns.”

The smell of ozone hits his nose and Jack can feel the hair on his arms rise with static electricity. Everything goes to shit, the doors on the other side of the room blast open with an explosive charge, and the world becomes dreamlike again as the intruders, the ones hunting them, turn their guns at each other, dark tendrils of something living wrenching their hands and crushing them at the same time.

He thinks he is bleeding as he falls down.

“What’s the matter, Sunshine?” The beast by the tree asks, coiled in darkness, too many teeth and eyes burning red twitching in the shuddering mass crawling along the fluid surface. The claws move over his face. “Aren’t you getting too close to the fire for the comfort?”

“Have I ever stepped out of it?” It ripples in mirth.

“You were free for a while,” the darkness melts against him and yields under his fingers.

“I think I forgot a lot,” Jack whispers looking into ‘J’ and ‘G’ carved into the bark.

“Harbinger project. Only explanation why la poule brought you here at all,” Gerard turns back. “Finish it up.”

He braces for the pain but something almost physical pulls him back and throws him to the ground. The rest is training, repetition and that little thing that refuses to be satiated with blood spilled in the back of his mind.

*

“You mean Shrike. As in, the Shrike?” Lena giggles. “And you are helping us now why?”

“Because,” the garbled voice on the other side answers, “if Morrison gets his ass blown up, there will be nothing to stop Reaper.”

“Right. Reaper.”

“Don’t joke around, girl. This monster can, and will, bring the end of the world as we know it. The Harbinger is the only thing that can stop it and the little monsters they spawned out of it.”

The Shrike speaks as if he knows. But he knows nothing, not really. Jack feels his lips curl up a little bit when he sees the apparition, a bloodied long-limbed monster, stalking along the wall after the panicking soldiers.

Stop it? No. No-one can. No-one will.

“I see you.”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing, Lena. How’s your status?”

*****************************

“So are you going to stand here and talk your ass off or are you going to get me out of here?” Sombra blinks in confusion, not used to having her monologues and gloating interrupted, and Jesse tries to hide his snicker behind his hand.

“I could kill you, old man!”

“So could a determined sheep.”

“Did you… did you just compare me to a sheep?” Sombra squawks indignantly.

“I’m just not very fond of sheep. It’s mutual, I’m told.” Morrison knocks on the reinforced glass. “The fucking fish tank?”

“I told you, witch, that if Reyes is invested in this guy, he must be a piece of work.”

“And you look like you never outgrew your weeaboo phase,” Morrison interjects with more knocking.

“Ha, I think I like him regardless of him calling me a sheep,” this time Sombra smirks. “I say we keep him, idiot.”

“Ah, fer fuck’s sake,” Jesse shoots the panel and kicks it in, only to be met with a vicious jab to the face in return. “What the fuck?”

But Morrison is outside and turns his eyes on Sombra. The witch teleports a good ten meters away while Jack rolls his shoulders.

“I owe you both for making my life shit more than it already was.”

“Yeah, but no,” Sombra sticks out her tongue. “Get a gun, old fart, we have company, and I can’t hack them all.”

“That’s your problem. I’m going after Lacroix and Ziegler.”

Jesse sits up and stuffs the paper tissue he dug out of his coat pocket up his bleeding nose.

“Well, partner, I reckon they will both be where we are actually going, so joining forces, not that bad idea.”

Jack considers the idea.

“Any of you do funny stuff, I shoot you.”

“Sheep notwithstanding, I think I like him even more now, brother.”

“Stuff it, sister.”

[weirdgirl-14]

[fire] dnd, anime, youtube

Unpopular Opinion about D&D:    There are some people who are super serious about D&D-- and RP in General-- that I’m just, like, “Dude, chill...”  With RP, I’m very much of an attitude, “It’s just RP/DND.”  Like...don’t get me wrong, I get invested in my RP stuff sometimes, but once I see drama starting out of an RP/DND campaign between the players, I’m just, “OLLY OUTIE” or if someone is doing that in my campaigns, I shut that chit down hard because it dumb.  It’s just a Game.  No need to start getting bitter with each other and feelings.  (I’ve just...this is why I dont’ RP/DND in online groups anymore, and only with friends or people friends introduce me to.) 

Additionally.... I’ve been trying to read up on the original DND worlds, and.....I actually find them boring.   It’s just....plain and bland-- very cookie cutter.  I still like Homebrewing better.

Unpopular Opinion Anime: As much as I joke about being a weeb and, “Anime is Trash/Anime was a Mistake,” in full honesty?  I think Anime needs to be more recognized both as a global cultural aspect--- such communities forming around it-- but also as a recognized art.  We do get a lot of great works of art through anime, some in which that comes to the top of my head: Silent Voice, Full Metal Alchemist: (+ Brotherhood), Naruto (+ Shippuden), My Hero Academia, Once Piece, Neon Envangelion, One Piece, D. Grey Man, Ghost in a Shell, Wolf Children, Tokyo Godfathers, Inuyasha, Dragon Ball, Pop Team Epic, Studio Ghibli Movies and I’m barely tipping the top of the iceberg.

Say what you want--- but there is a lot of good anime out there, and I’m speaking from both of a Story Telling Aspect and a Visual Art Aspect.  We have a lot of dumb Anime, yeah, like Sword Art Online and Aho Girl (which are obvious cash-ins or banking on “crude humor” for views), but just because those are “Popular,” doesn’t speak to the whole populus of Anime.  There’s some real deep, or funny, or interesting commentary.  

There are teachers who comment about not wanting to have their students art or story writing to be influenced by Anime.  Why not?  I started off as a Weeaboo--- not a weeb, a Weeaboo.  My Art was ONLY anime for a while--- but it encouraged me to find my own style.  It encourage to explore different styles of writing and storytelling that may not have the same nuances as Western Story Telling methods. (Although Anime, too, was influenced by Disney + Japanese culture).  We’re being a Globalized, so we’re going to be exposed to many influences.  There is nothing wrong with Anime and learning from it--- we’re always learning from something and then building upon it.  Anime should be seen as Legitimate.  We recognized Western Cartoons as “Stylized forms of Art,” but shame people who draw Anime--- which is also a stylized form of art.  I don’t trust.

Anime, too, introduces a variety of culture to people-- again, we’re globalizing.  Sure, Weeaboos tend to, unfortunately, culturally appropriate before we realize (actual Japanese living in Japanese, however, acknowledges it as, “Oh! They’re trying their best to show their appreciation!” whereas in American-Context, its a negative connotation for us).  Regardless--- again, we all start somewhere,  I was introduced to Japanese Culture through Anime--- and I was a Weeaboo, unfortunately culturally appropriating before actually diving down into research and learning more and the rights and wrongs.  I think it’s good to encourage to learn.  Heck, Anime does it--- you could claim that they appropriate French and English culture (#Aesthetics), but they’re also learning and growing from it, too.  Again, we’re globalizing.  I don’t think that it should be discouraged-- but encourage people to educate themselves beyond what a T.V show provides. 

Unpopular Opinion Youtube: 

Youtube is a Vacuum.  As someone who is becoming a Youtuber (in the sense of using it as a platform for various media creative stuff), I think Youtube’s Algorithm is dumb, I don’t think people should bank and rely on it as a way to “Get Discovered,” especially now that it’s starting to cater to big companies and corporations. 

I think that Youtube is a great place to share your content--- but I think you shouldn’t also fully blame the Algorithm (which does suck) for not getting the views you want or for lack of being discovered.  I think you have to approach it in a similar manner in which you do in the way you self publish a book: you are your own agent, you need to get out there and advertise yourself on multiple platforms.  You have to constantly share and refer people to your channel.  I think that on one hand, a lot of problems are Youtubes Fault, but I think there’s still ways to bypass it? 

I think Youtube is gonna fall apart just like most Social Media will because of Big Companies.  I’m still gonna use Youtube because I sold My Soul.  I think it should still be heavily monitored for kids because there’s some jacked up crud on Youtube that should be flagged but isn’t (like a lot of social media).  Youtube is a Complex Mess. 

I honestly don’t know if any of this are Unpopular Opinions.....

[female-malice]

Tokyo is like NYC. It's an extremely globalized city in a xenophobic country. Of course black activism is relevant!

Weeaboos are not an accident. They're the product of catering cultural exports (anime) to a specific demographic. Japan wants to attract white millenial white-collar workers to keep their corporate structure from crumbling under the weight of their aging population. They want these white millenials to believe Japan is a safe crime-free utopia.

Japan is known for inflating their GDP and fudging national statistics to extend their credit with the world bank. They are the most in-debt country in the world and are in the midst of a 30 year recession. Major corporations openly engage in human trafficking and slave labor and the government does nothing. The LDP, Japan's US-backed ruling party, will always see human rights violations as an acceptable alternative to worsening the economic situation.

Japan also protects genocidal hate speech under it's free speech laws. When far-right neo-imperialist yakuza-backed politicians parade through Korean neighborhoods chanting "death to all Koreans" through megaphones, that's "free speech."

Japan is only safe if you're white or Japanese, and even then it's not that safe. I knew a white American man who was questioned by Tokyo police for 24 hours because the previous tenant of the apartment he lived in jumped bail.

I've lived my whole life in a city with much higher crime rates than anywhere in Japan. Yet, the most violent thing I've ever seen was 5 guys beating a man to death outside of a Japanese nightclub at 6am. Japan's low crime rates do not reflect the reality of crime in Japan. Police take money from organized crime and look the other way.

Japanese police are not your friends, but generally, Japanese civilians are. Japanese social contracts are a lot stronger than Japanese police ethics. The police may ignore chikan, but civilians will mob them and bring them to station attendants who put them on a transportation blacklist. If you're a foreigner in Japan, you need to familiarize yourself with Japanese social contracts. You should trust Japanese civilians over police when you need help. At the very least, they'll be able to advise you on how to navigate an interaction with the police.

Wholesome compares to cops killing innocent people in America.

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: A Whole Lot Of Nope

I was hearing a lot of mixed things about Ready Player One. I wasn't one that bought into the hype, I seriously had no clue this thing was even a book before hand, so I was a little suspect of how good this thing could be. I went into it with no real expectations and, let me say, it was fun. Fun and wildly flawed.

I do have to say, though, I've kind of fallen in love with Olivia Cooke. She was delightful!

The Good

Visually, this movie is a goddamn spectacle. I was immediately overwhelmed by how much was going on how much was portrayed on the screen. It was insane how much content Spielberg was able to reference. There were so many shout-outs and easter eggs, I was having trouble keeping up. There were Ninja Turtles, Battle Toads, f*cking Tracer and, i think, Sombra from Overwatch. Mechagodzilla, King Kong and the Iron Giant all had some shine. There was an entire sequence that was a legit homage to The Shining – I was saturated in sh*t that I love! Watching this made me feel the same way I felt, when I saw Bayformers for the first time. It was pure up awe. It also has something else in common with that first Bayformers as well, which we’ll get int o in The Bad...

Olivia Cooke as Artemis/Samantha Cook was absolutely adorable and I loved her every scene. It took me a little while to place her but she was that girl with the oxygen tank from Bates Motel. Obviously one of the strong points of this film, she fell victim to the biggest issue i have with this movie: lack of development. I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to know more about her struggle. I wanted to understand how she got to where she was from where she began. But, NOPE! What little we did get, though, was pretty legit.

Mark Rylace as James Halliday, the creator of The Oasis, and his avatar, Anorak, was outstanding. James was definitely on the spectrum and the Rylace did a respectful job representing that aspect of the character. While i understand Halliday was basically a plot point used as a backbone to the overall narrative, i still wanted to see more of him. He was actually one of the most interesting characters in the movie. But, NOPE!

Ben Mendleshon as the stereotypical, corporate, douche, Nolan Sorrento was the best thing about this movie. He was smarmy and ridiculous. Dude was never sinister, never, but he was slimy as sh*t and you instantly hated him. You knew this dude was up to no good. You knew he was a little coward. You absolutely understood, with that very first exchange, he was a lying weasel and i loved everything about that! Mendlesohn plays the ass very well.. Between this and Rogue One’s Krennec, he better be careful about typecasting. He plays the asshole to well. I think, with more time, he could have been developed into a real force of evil. But, NOPE! Victim number three, man.

TJ Miller’s take on I-Rok was delightful, but, you know, it’s TJ Miller. He has that whole Glodblum effect going on; Throw hims in anything and it’ immediately better. Which is all the more reason why it sucked ass that we never got any other insight to his character outside of his Oasis counterpart, because, you guessed it, NOT ENOUGH CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!

The Oasis was a dope ass concept. I dug almost everything about it. It hit my gamer jones perfectly and delicately caressed my nostalgia, lovingly. Kind of feel like we should have had more of that. But, NOPE!

The Nostalgia is strong with this one. As a Millennial (Xennial, if we're being specific) and an original otaku (weeaboos, for those born in the 90s) I am a creature of nostalgia so this was right up my alley. I lost my sh*t when Kaneda's bike showed up or when the RX-78 had that epic clash with Mechagodzilla. Akira is one of my all-time favorite films (there’s a list you can check out here: http://smokeybrandreviews.tumblr.com/post/163853897954/smokey-brand-movie-reviews-cream-of-the-crop) and i’ve been a Goji fanboy since i was a wee Smokey sprout. My sh*t was lost! Even more than that, thee were Master Chiefs from Halo, Battle Toads, Ninja Turtles, and SO much more!

The Okay

The supporting cast was great. I'd have put them in the “Good” category but we don't get enough of them to make that call. That's actually one of my biggest beefs with this movie. The Hi-5 crew were all endearing and the icy F’Nale was just plain menacing but there just wasn’t enough time to develop everyone. This film needed that, desperately.

This is definitely a Spielberg flick. It hits all of those Spielberg notes. But, it is readily apparent that he phoned this one in. It's not a terrible job, a lot of the scenes in The Oasis are breathtaking, but you can tell that’s what he wanted to direct, not the entire other half of the movie. Spielberg read this story and immediately thought, “Look at all of this cool sh*t! I just want to make this cool sh*t!” It's hard to articulate but you are literally left wanting with his direction. The Oasis scenes have a style, flair, and a unique identity. The real world scenes are just a boner. They don't fit this movie at all. Like, at all. You never feel that raw desperation or the inferred, bleakness of reality. It's just, meh out there and that is because Spielberg dropped the ball on making that aspect real.

The Bad

Tye Sheridan is just the worst at acting, man. He and Olivia Cooke had no chemistry, whatsoever. I didn't buy their “love” at all. Those “cutesy” kissing scenes came across as forced and ridiculous. That being said, their romance in The Oasis was downright adorable. I bought into that. Probably because I wasn't watching try-hard Ty Sheridan all of the f*cking time and Spielberg gave a sh*t about those scenes.

The tone to this flick was all over the place. There were scenes that were suppose to make you feel things but came across as legit flaccid because they were juxtaposed against straight up Spielberg whimsy. Every sense of danger or tension was kind of undercut by humor. Clever humor but when you need to be on the edge of your seat, a cat ripping a fat one kind of kills the mood, you know? That's what figuratively happened, constantly. At no point did i feel any of these characters were in any real danger and that sucks.

The world outside of the Oasis didn't make any goddamn sense to me. Like, there was a terrorist attack committed by this corporation and no one batted an eye. These f*ckers used their proprietary tech to bomb and entire suburb, and nothing happened! No legal ramifications or investigations. Cats die in these interment camps that this same company runs and no one says anything! it’s just a goddamn thing everyone accepts! Sh*t is legitimate slavery in Columbus, Ohio; People are enslaved on American soil, and no one cares. No one. But the villain brandishes a gun for a few minutes at the end of this movie and the cops show up? Really? The f*ck, man??

The Ugly

The worst thing about this film (other than the horrendous pacing) is the fact you don't give a sh*t about anything happening outside of The Oasis. You just don't care. The Oasis is more realized than literally all of the scenes that are suppose to take place in the real world and that's absurd to me.

This movie felt like it should have been much longer. I left the theater feeling like this thing should have been a trilogy or a high budget television series. SO much was crammed in this two hour runtime and it ended up being the lesser for it. At the very least, it probably needed another twenty to thirty minutes to really let you marinade in the this world.

I found this flick crazy predictable. I don't think everyone will have this problem but, being that I am kind of the target audience for this movie, I could see the strings behind the puppet show fairly easily. I was guessing sh*t left and right with pretty good accuracy, including the finale. It was clever, sure, but the second they mentioned what the thing they needed to play was, I knew where it was going to go. I literally turned to my ma and told her how this movie would end, about twenty minutes before we got there. Sure enough, it went exactly as I called it. Literally everything went exactly how I thought it would, which was a little bit of a bummer.

Yo, there are characters in this movie that you see for thirty seconds and then they show up in the climax and play the hugest of f*cking roles. Again, that lack of character development rears it’s ugly head. It's ridiculous! I saw you for literal seconds in the begging of the this movie. Who the f*ck are you and why do you matter all of a sudden??

Seriously, outside of the main three characters, no one else gets any real development. They are all just but players in a narrative that feels rushed out the door. The secondary antagonist, I-Rok, was absolutely delightful and we know nothing about him other than he got a skull for his chest. That's it. Sh*t Whack, son!

The pacing of this flick is so spastic, it'll give you whiplash. Seriously, you go from one scene to the next so goddamn abruptly, it's terrifying. it’s all kind of masked by exposition dumps, which makes it even more apparent if you know film, and it sucks. You’d think Steven f*cking Spielberg would know better but, NOPE!

The Verdict

Ready Player One is as niche as it gets. Sure, it's mad enjoyable for all audiences but HALF of this movie was tailor-made for me. The Oasis half. It’s a love letter to 80s nostalgia and geek culture. This is my childhood, this is my love, this is my everything. All of these references and cameos made me who i am today and it’s one of the dopest things i’ve ever experienced. You ever juts dump out all your toys and make an entire world from all of the different little figures? That’s what the Oasis is an i love it! I adored this half of the movie because it got me. It got what i'm about and that's incredibly rare. The other half, not so much. The real world parts were a letdown. There were some legit performances but overall, i was severely underwhelmed, specially coming off those dope as Oasis scenes.

As a film removed from my nostalgia boner, it's only okay. Ready Player One has some serious pacing and thematic issues that just chronically plague it with mediocrity. It feels too bloated for it's run time but, in the same breadth, mad shallow. There is no heart, no substance to this narrative. None whatsoever. It’s just an excuse for Spielberg to throw a bunch of school sh*t on a screen and, if you can reconcile that, you’ll have the best goddamn time. This a Spielberg kind of phoning it in, depending more of references and recognition than characterization and plot. Ready Player One comes across as a multi-million dollar demo for something better to come. This movie is a proof-of-concept for something much, much, doper that you show to investors so you can get the scratch to make THAT flick, not this one. Sh*t sucks because this could have been truly amazing. Instead, it's just a super fun popcorn event that leaves you wanting to watch the movie it could have been, not the one what was actually made. Seriously, this movie just made me want to read the book because my imagination would probably do it more justice.

Ready Player One is a mess. It’s a beautiful mess, but still a mess. If you got time o spare and don’t mind little things like pacing, character development, or a clear direction, check it out. It was fun as hell. Half the time.

[suckmyseal-blog]

Why I Despise AoT’s Main Characters

At time of writing, the long-awaited second season of Attack on Titan, or as it’s called by some of its fans Shingeki no Kyojin is close on the horizon. The stunning and all too brief trailer left me nostalgic for when I first watched the series in 2013 from under my blanket at 11pm, blinking away a haze of Monster energy drink and tears. This nostalgia led me to rewatch the anime’s first season and official spin-offs created by the same studio. My elation at reliving the thrill of the series, however, was stunted by my sudden realization that I couldn’t stand any  the leading characters.

Now allow me to elaborate, I obviously don’t dislike the show as a whole. The aesthetics of the show are consistent and interesting, from the environments to the military uniforms consisting of an unbuttoned crop top jacket, a copious amount of belts, and a miniskirt. Attack on Titan is effective in conveying just how threatening the Titans are by the manner in which they move, look, and sound. While a little in-your-face at times, the symbolism is quite enjoyable as well. The last and most important hurdle, of course, is characterization, and oh boy does Attack on Titan fall short on this one.

Before I tear into this show’s writing with the self-righteous vigor of a fat World-of-Warcraft player tearing into his bag of Cheetos, I must state the difference between personality traits and qualities with regards to character. For those of you who failed 7th grade Language Arts, ability, ailment, appearance, alignment, and affinity (what the character likes or dislikes), etc. are all qualities, whereas things like kindness, courage, impulsivity, and discretion, etc. are personality traits. For example, The main character’s adoptive sister Mikasa has interesting qualities, but they are diminished by her utterly boring personality. Mikasa will repeatedly exhibit how she is effortlessly and inexplicably much more physically capable than anyone else, and that could get someone interested in her character, but once you dive beneath the surface, you find that the only only unique personality traits she displays are apathy and introversion. The main characters and many side characters in the series have the same problem, and never evolve past being archetypes. It is entertaining to see their conflicts and interactions in the same way it is entertaining to watch the emotions from Inside Out interact, but you wouldn’t actually want to talk to them in person because they are so predictable. This is why so many cringeworthy “Ask <character’s name here>” pages have popped up, every action that the characters take is predictable to the point where even internet fangirls are able to create dialogue that feels convincingly like it is coming from the actual character. However, the be-all-end-all judge of character is the question, “Do you want the show spend more time on them?”, and the answer with all three of Attack on Titan’s lead characters is no, not really.

And in answer to my question, the creators of the series decided to make a side story centered around Levi, the Lance Corporal of the Survey Corps, an elite branch of the military tasked with reconnaissance, intel-gathering, and R&D to some extent. I didn’t feel that Levi was in dire need of a backstory reveal, considering that it was obvious from the outset that he was a jaded war-veteran with a dark past and OCD. Now in that description the only personality trait I listed was “jaded”, and a jaded character isn’t interesting. Whenever he looks over a threat with a nonplussed, bored expression, I think to myself, “If he doesn’t view the threat as viable, then why should I?”, and I ponder if my time would be better spent impressing women or pumping iron, or whatever you non-weeaboos do all day. But I’m getting off track here. If you are seriously interested in a man who constantly stares at people with a mix of disappointment and anger, then you clearly don’t have an Asian Father. The writers working Attack on Titan then totally blew me out of the water when they released a  spin-off that revealed, to everyone’s surprise, that he was in fact a jaded war-veteran with a dark past and OCD after all. The spin-off did end up showing off some very interesting characters, namely Isabel and Farlan, Levi’s friends. Now naturally, this being a prequel, the fate of these two characters was predetermined because neither of them are seen or even mentioned in the main plot. With the loss of these 2 characters,  the show lost it’s ability to shock me, because it seems like the writers don’t know of any way to have characters be separated from each other painfully and permanently in any way other than death by Titan. An example of this would have been if Farlan was thrown in jail when people found out their plan to assassinate Erwin Smith, a captain in the Survey Corps, but Levi and Isabel weren’t found out. This could fit into the main storyline, and carry potential for future plots like if Levi had to do some high-ranking policeman’s dirty work to get Farlan out of jail. Honestly, I would take either character over Mikasa any day, but enough with ineffectual death, onto the main point, Character. Farlan, while kind and caring towards the unfortunate street urchins he lives amongst, still bears the demeanor of a thug. Isabel is loyal, eager to impress, humorous, playful, genuine, outspoken, and rude, despite her peppy, girly nature, she is not above assassinating a captain of the Survey Corps to be able to rise up out of the life of a dirt poor city dweller. Every character had a motive that made sense, with every character you could point at them and go, “I don’t exactly agree with your choices, but I see where you’re coming from.”. The writers did an excellent job of making the audience bond with characters who were only given about half an hour of total screen time.

The manner in which the lead characters’ comrades are characterized is lazy as well. Connie Springer, a recruit who attends boot camp with the main characters is referred to as stupid, and refers to himself as stupid, but never actually does anything to demonstrate this. In fact, the way he acts in combat and when trying to get sensitive information from a shell-shocked comrade, is quite quick witted and astute.

Footnote: Thanks for reading, I know this is kinda weird for a first post, but it would be awesome to get some feedback from you!

[smokeybrandreviews]

I Still Function

So i’ll be 34 this year. I was born in those weird tweeny years between Gen X and the accepted Millennial realization. Technically, i am a Millennial but since i caught the tail end of the 80s, we have our own sub category. I’ve heard the term Xennial or Proto-Millenial thrown around but i always prefers The Oregon Trail Generation, mostly because we all played Oregon Trail in grade school. Motherf*cker stayed dying of dysentery! Essentially, i had my formative years in the 90s but grew up i the 80s. As such, i got to be semi-privy to all of that Reagan nonsense; trickle down decay, bullsh*t Nuclear family ideal, outright war on the minority community, and the rampant corporate greed that he left unchecked. Aside from a stock market crash and wild inflation, we got a deregulation on corporate advertising. In direct response, these morally bankrupt companies flooded the market with commercials masquerading as cartoon series targeting, kids just like me. And boy did that sh*t work!

G.I. Joe, He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, Jem, Dinosaucers, My Little Pony, Care Bears, ThunderCats, SilverHawks, Go-Bots; i can go on for years, man! The vast majority of 80s cartoons, the entertainment i had as a child, were specifically designed to sell toys. They were cynically created for the sole purpose of profit but transformed into something more. Pun intended. A handful of these cash-grabs became so much more than just toy plugs. He-Man and G.I. Joe are stalwarts in American Pop Culture, just like Barbie, but the biggest star of the 80s toy entertainment revolution, Transformers, has become a goddamn powerhouse!

Transformers, to me, was like the first time older 20-somethings watched Dragon Ball Z or Naruto. It was a goddamn revelation. My pops was a fan od Speed Racer so i had a rudimentary understanding of what anime was. I jumped from there, headfirst into Gundam and Dunbine bootlegs. I eventually found my way to a pure love for the giant robot genre thanks to Macross and Go-Lion (Robotech and Voltron, respectively, for the Americans in the audience). At 4 years old, i remember finding a VHS for the first two episodes on the Transformers show in my local Blockbuster. Suffice it to say, i was immediately hooked. Imagine my surprise when i got older and realized that, everyone of my beloved Transformers, were based on the Japanese Takara toy line, Diaclone. Mostly. There were a few exception; Jetfire was actually that transforming robot jet from Macross, but they were still Japanese properties. My burgeoning weeabooness, thanks to Godzilla and Voltron, ate that sh*t up.

Those first two seasons of Transformers were iconic. They set forth a real, cultural, phenomenon behind dope ass characters, deep lore, and a crazy ass gimmick. Objectively, robots that turned into other things, seems like a no-brainer but no one was doing it. Hasboro had the wherewithal to bring in actual writers, actual creators, to create a world and universe a la Star Wars. Jim Shooter, Marvel’s Editor-in-Chief at the time, roughed an overall concept and Bob Budiansky put the final touches on Shooter’s work. Hasboro loved what they presented and Marvel set off with a four issue mini series comic adaption while Sunbow dropped a three part television pilot. Transformers became an overnight success. Much like all of it’s other cookie-cutter commercial cartoons of it’s day, there was a distinct lack or substance to the original series but no one cared. Most kids were just regaled by the dope ass toys and the wildly unique characters presented.

The War between the Autobots and Decepticons set the tiny imagination of little Ryan ablaze. As an adult, looking back, i can honestly say G1 was trash. It was mad transparent with it’s agenda. But i din’t care because Starscream is dope as sh*t. Screamer was just the best thing for me.He was my Vegeta before Vegeta. I Adored his smarmy cockiness and zealous ambition. It helped tremendously that his particular voice actor, Chris Latta, was one of the best o work. His distinct voice gave a real personality, a true uniqueness, to the Seeker commander. Latta actually voiced a ton of characters i enjoyed as a a kid. Fun fact, he was also the voice of Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe and the original voice to Mr. Burns from the Simpsons. The more you know.

Aside from the legendary Chris Latta, Transformers also employed true legends of the industry in Peter Cullen and Frank Welker in the leader roles of their opposing factions. Optimus Prime IS Peter Cullen. Frank Welker IS Megatron. It doesn’t work when other people voice them in other media. One of the reasons i dislike the Bayformers franchise (more on that later) is because Michael Bay made Frank Welker audition for the role of Megatron. He made Megatron audition for Megatron, and then PASSED on him! He told Megatron he was wasn’t Megatron enough to play Megatron. The f*cking audacity! Hugo Weaving did a decent job, he has a very unique tenor to his voice, but after seeing the test footage of Welker over Gay’s version of Megatron on the special feature to the first Transformers flick, i could never get into the series. It helps tremendously that they’re all terrible, too.

Characters like Bumblebee, Soundwave, Prowl, Jazz, Shockwave, Ultra Magnus, Rodimus Prime (for better or worse), Grimlock, Devastator, Laserbeak, Arcee, and many others have become icons. These are legacy monikers that mean so much to a fandom that has stood the testament of time. Over the last 34 years, Transformers has exploded into a force. We were given cutting edge classics like Beast Wars, light-hearted takes on the the mythos like Animated, and a more adult incarnation that, i think, is the best of the franchise without nostalgia armor, Transformers Prime. These shows elevated the mythos and carried that torch of love from my generation, to my little brothers pee group, all the way through the Gen Y kids and whoever is after them. You don’t get o be around for 34 years and not find a way to evolve with the times, to grow with your demo. In that regard, i have to give credit to Bayformers. Though, i hate those films with a passion and it’s obvious Micheal Bay has no respect for the source material, his films are the most visible of the entire franchise. They act as an easy entry point for people to dip their toe into, often leading to a tumble down that Cybertron rabbit hole into some of the richest, most convoluted, lore you can imagine.

I mean, there are excellent comics dating all the way back to the 80s from Marvel. Dreamwave had a decent run before their bankruptcy but IDW is out here doing gods work in the print. There is a plethora of brilliant stories being told set in the many realities of the Transformers Multiverse. And it’s a goddamn pleasure to sort all of that out. There are a ton of Japan only continuations of the G1 cartoon like Headmaster and Super God Masterforce as well as outright anime versions (complete with all of the anime tropes that accompany mecha shows out there) that are relatively popular. We’ve come full circle, man! I mean, there are also  not so... okay versions of stuff out there like KISS players. Stay away from Kiss players. That sh*t is whack, son. Still, Japan did give us Guiltar. That motherf*cker is too dope!

I adore Transformers. I love them like i love my wife or pancakes. A ton of my pleasant childhood memories are tied up in them Robots in Disguise. More than that, though, i love how far they’ve come. Seeing this franchise blow up into a full-on movement does my heart good. Even though there inception was one of dubious greed, the franchise has outgrown those sordid beginnings to be come a breeding ground of creativity and fun. Their popularity has created a five movie, six if you count this Bumblebee spin-off, cinematic universe that rivals the success of the MCU. Well, more the Fast franchise but you get my point. No one is taking out the 300 lbs. gorilla in the Disney backed MCU. Those motherf*ckers are printing money right now. But the fact that Transformers is probably the second most popular universe out there, speaks volumes to it’s popularity. I’e been firmly on this bandwagon for 30 years and have no intention of jumping off. I’m in it for another 30 and looking forward to the future.

[evilblackcat13]

Character Biography : Charles Bédard

Warning: Might contain child negligence.

Full Name : Charles Bédard

Nickname :   Codename : Cheshire Cat , « Cheshire »

Age : 25

Date of Birth : June 18 1992 at 23 :59 pm

Zodiac : Gemini ascendant Aquarius

Blood type : B

Sexual Oriantation : Heterosexual

Job : Hacker for the Umbrella Security Services division

At a very young age, he was rejected. Even that his mother dumped him in a dumpster the first moments he was born. It was an old woman who heard his cries and decided to take him  has her own son. She always wished to have a son and called him after her late husband : Charles Bédard. However, the old woman called the child protection services not long after because she felt like she was having an heart attack.  After the child protection took him , she died has he was taken away. He can barely remember her since he was barely a few couple months old when this happened. He was taken into an orphanage and was waiting to get picked. Unfortunately for him, he waited a whole 15 years with no success. He was teased for being a ginger while he was there. But at the same time, he became quite familiar with computers and even started hacking. When he was 13,  he’d always sit in front of the TV to watch Naruto on Teletoon. There was something about this character that made him more confident about himself and inspired him to become stronger even without  feeling  love at a young age as well. Eventually, he discovered the wonderful world of anime and became addicted to it. At the age of 15, he stole money from some rich entrepreneur and bought himself an apartment and got himself a high performing laptop. He didn’t feel like working so he just stole whatever he sees fit from his apartment in Chinatown. Eventually, he was got after he had stolen half a million from Umbrella Corporation at the age of 19 from the backtracking Ada Wong did on him. He was offered a job has the lead hacker of the U.S.S. He is the type to be very laid back , nearly lazy and fun to be with. However, he is very good at hiding his emotions.

Likes :

·      Anime/ manga

·      Hacking

·      J-pop, K-pop, Electronica, Dupstep and anime music

·      Visual Kei/ J-pop/ K-pop Fashion

·      Hentai

·      Teasing people/ being a troll

·      Being loved

·      Pocky

·      Bubble Tea (his favorite one is Mango flavored)

·      Anything japanese

·      Cosplaying/ Crossplaying

·      Arizona Green Tea

·      Ramen

·      Mischief

·      Junk food

·      Sake

·      Anime Conventions

·     Women

 Hates :

·      Bullies/ People that calls him a weeaboo

·      People not taking a joke

·      People calling manga/ anime « Cartoons »

·      Drivers who don’t notice people on scooters/ people on foot

·      Clubs

·      Anyone who hates his hobbies

·      Bossy people