#like uses her anxiety and whatnot as an excuse to be a really frustrating person to deal with

[coldbug]

killing her inside my head 🔪🔪🔪 with knives

[cchie]

Poppy Heathcliff’s Big Ol’ Honkin’ Questionnaire

A. Psychology

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…   Poppy is most definitely an INFP “The Mediator” - gentle, shy, passionate, pure, emotional.

What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…   Neutral good. She only wants to do what is best.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?   When she was younger, she used to have agoraphobia and anxiety. She still experiences them to this day but to a severely lesser degree. Taking medication for it was something she had considered but once she found her passion for horticulture, she’s found ways to deal with it.

Are they a pessimist or an optimist?   Optimist! She always wants to find the brighter and sunnier things in life. The darker parts scare her and make her sad, but she knows it’s important to accept those as well.

Are they good at handling change in their life?   Sort of. Change can be pretty hard for Poppy since she just likes being comfortable. However, she can be resilient. So while it might be hard for her mentally and emotionally, she’ll get used to it after the initial discomfort.

Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”   Because of her anxiety and people-pleaser ways, she generally questions it. If somebody confronts her and says she said something different, she’ll shrink in size and say something along the lines of “O-oh, I’m so sorry. I thought I-I said the r-right thing!”

Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?   Oh, god, Poppy is very easily embarrassed and shamed. She hates it. If someone were to startle her, she’d probably squeal and cry, and then feel completely humiliated. Whenever she cries, which is indeed a lot, she does feel like she’s overreacting but only because kids picked on her when she was younger. Her parents have taught her that it’s okay to cry.

Is your OC a martyr?   She absolutely would be.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?   Nope! Poppy prefers being honest with people. She doesn’t like lying because she knows it’s wrong and disrespectful. She used to make excuses for herself when she was younger but now she’s grown and learning to love herself. If she’s late to something, which she rarely ever is, she’ll be honest and let them know ASAP.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?   Yes. Poppy is scared of not pleasing everybody and wants everyone to be happy, even if that means compromising something. Generally, if it’s something she feels incredibly strongly about, she won’t back down. After fighting for it, she would be highly reluctant to compromise at all.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?   Yes, that’s one of the downsides of Poppy. She’ll put others’ needs before hers at all times and it destroys her a bit inside. It’s tiring and exhausting but she’d rather everyone around her be happy than solely herself be happy.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?   While Poppy loves gardening, I wouldn’t call it an addiction.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?   Many things scare Poppy and freak her out but I wouldn’t think to go as far as diagnosing her with multiple phobias. She had agoraphobia and has a mild case nowadays but she’s getting better with it. Really, her anxiety makes her afraid to fail, displease people, and lose loved ones.

Is your character empathetic?   Poppy is actually my most empathetic OC. She feels so deeply and strongly and doesn’t necessarily know how to handle any of it, though she’s trying really hard. This is why she tries so hard to make everyone around her happy, because she can feel what they are feeling.

Is your character observant?   Yes! In a quiet way. She doesn’t actively seek out to observe everything. Rather, she does it in a way that she’s trying to learn and the anxiety also makes her aware of her surroundings.

Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?   Listening to others and learning from that is primarily how Poppy functions. She values the words of others and would rather not go through trials herself in fear of failing or doing something wrong.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?   After squeezing through the hectic halls of Hope’s Horizon, the small pigtailed blonde stepped out of her school’s back doors and into the sun soaked courtyard. The sun beat down on her freckled face and she had to squint her leaf green eyes to see for a few seconds.    She took a deep, relaxing breath, and decided to head for the school’s garden. This was shared between her (the Ultimate Horticulturist), the Ultimate Florist, the Ultimate Pedologist, and the Ultimate Entomologist. While she didn’t like crowds, she had become friendly with these fellow students since they all shared similar interests and had to share the same garden area. Although, Poppy was allowed her own Greenhouse in which she would also graciously share it with the first three.   She was a bit drained socially after having to bump into classmates in the hallways and apologize profusely. It was always a challenge for her, especially because she was so small in stature.   As she hummed to herself and walked towards the Garden, she heard two angry voices and one...anxious one. Her heart stopped in panic as she heard and she quietly snuck behind some nearby trees.   She peered from behind the tree trunk and saw two rather tall boys, one holding what appeared to be a violin. In front of them was a rather upset-looking, but gorgeous, brunette. She was wringing her wrists and stammering.   “Ha! Ultimate Violinist, what a lame Talent! What are you without your violin, huh? Just a stuck up rich girl, huh?” the first boy snickered, holding the violin up high.   “Ah, please, give th-that back,” the brunette’s voice shook.   The second boy mimicked her stutter and laughed. “Hey Scott, what if we smashed it?”   The first boy gave a wicked grin. “Yeah, Kaden, I think that sounds like fun!”   Before Poppy was even aware of what she was doing, she sprinted towards them and planted herself in front of the brunette. She could feel the fear and anxiety radiating off of the Ultimate Violinist.   “S-stop it! G-give it back to h-her!” her voice squeaked.   The two boys looked at her and laughed. “And who the hell are you?”   “P-p-p-” she cleared her throat and tried again. “Poppy Heathcliff!” she said confidently. “I-I’m the Ultimate Horticulturist. And you n-need to, um, stop being so c-cruel!”   The two bullies just laughed. “Huh. And whatcha gonna do, shrimp? Kick me in the knees?” the first boy sneered.   “A-actually, I h-happen to h-have some poison ivy leaves on m-my person at the moment, and it would be a sh-shame if they happened to touch you two,” she said, in a panicked but fierce tone. “Y-you know what poison ivy, um, d-does, right? It gives you a rash and a fever and-” she reached into her pocket and grabbed a ziploc bag with leaves inside of it.   The two boys narrowed their eyes in suspicion and as she pulled out the bag, they straightened up and a very brief flash of fear appeared in their eyes.   “A-and I know that V-Violet Adams would be sad to hear about t-two bullies, and Redd Blaze certainly doesn’t l-like bullies, and-” she stammered hastily.   The two boys looked at each other and scowled. “Fine, this isn’t fun anymore anyways. Let’s go, dude!”   They started walking away and before Poppy could shout that they still had the violin, the first boy tossed the violin behind him without even looking.   The brunette tried to grab it but with not much dexterity and much more clumsiness, it bounced out of her hands and headed towards the pavement.   Seeing this, Poppy instinctively dove to catch it and did so successfully, while also scraping her knees in the process.   “Oomph, ow!” she winced, softly whispering.   The tall brunette kneeled down and avoided eye contact with her scraped knee. “Oh, ah, my goodness, I am so sorry!”   Poppy smiled and looked into the eyes of the girl for the first time. They were a beautiful light brown, so light they were almost golden, and it was like looking into two small suns. Her heart skipped a beat. This woman was gorgeous in the classic and elegant sense.   “Ummm, uh, I-I’m Poppy. It’s n-nice to meet you!” she exclaimed, giving a big smile.   “I’m Aria. Aria Arpeggio. Lovely to meet you,” she said, giving a small smile.   Poppy and Aria shook hands and she gently handed her the violin back. “Here, this m-must be very, um, important to you. It’s a lovely violin. It’s made out of the best wood for s-string instruments, too. You r-really know your stuff,” the small blonde said happily, all the while taking a small first aid kit out of her backpack and caring to her wound.   “Haha, well, I would surely hope so. Thank you, ah, for saving me from those two...those awful boys,” she shut her eyes and shook her head, then looked in the direction of the bag Poppy had. “Erm, are those actually poison ivy leaves?”   Poppy giggled, it was like a wind chime. “No, not at all. Those are just some bay leaves I’ve gathered for a friend. Not dangerous at all. I d-don’t even know if I w-would have, um, had the courage to h-hurt them with it, anyways.” She looked down and gave a small sad smile.   “Well, I think that’s rather, ah, noble of you, Poppy Heathcliff. You did more than I could, certainly.”   Poppy’s heart swelled and small tears welled her eyes. “Let’s be friends, okay?”   Aria blinked with surprised and stammered. “A-ah, sure, P-Poppy. That sounds nice.”   Poppy smiled. I can’t believe I stood up for somebody, she thought, and I can’t believe I just made a friend.

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?   I mean, she gets envious but more in a unselfish way. She’s envious of how others can be the life of the party and be so outgoing but it’s more of an admiration type of jealousy rather than an ugly jealousy.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?   Bullies, her anxiety kicking in.

Are they harsh on themselves?   Yes. She wants to be good at what she does and she wants to make people happy. She pushes herself a lot and doesn’t take care of herself as much as she should when it comes to pleasing others and making other people happy.

Do they make excuses often?   See previous question about excuses.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?   Poppy can be very pretty when she decides to dress up. She’s got dandelion yellow hair she usually puts into a ponytail or pigtails. Her eyes are a beautiful leaf green, and she has freckles. Her right cheek has a scar from a rose bush years ago and her hands are surprisingly rough and scarred from gardening. While she uses lotion, it doesn’t always work. “Cute” and “adorable” are better words to describe Poppy.

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?   Poppy is not a very confident person but she tries. She likes wearing cute, comfortable, and practical things. She’s concerned with appearance in terms of just making sure she doesn’t look ridiculous. Her taste is more floral prints, frills, lace, and simple.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?   Some of her biggest obstacles are overcoming her anxietys, her fears, her struggle with her gender identity versus her biological sex (intersex), and her selflessness. She’s aware of all of this and trying her hardest to work on it.

B. Social

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?   She’s somewhere in between the two. Basically, she believes in showing respect regardless of being shown it first. However, if there is a continual disrespect, she no longer believes respect should be shown to that individual.

Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?   Not at all. She’s rather slow moving herself and she daydreams a lot. So while she may be waiting a while, she’s very patient and understanding.

Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera?   Virtually none. As I stated above, she’s incredibly patient and understanding and would not get upset. The only thing I can imagine her getting upset over is blatant discrimination.

Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?   Over 25% is how Poppy tips, even if the service isn’t great. She is empathetic to people working in the food service and knows they rely on tips to survive.  

Do they hold doors open for people?   Yes, if she notices people are walking in the same direction. She always wants to be polite and show manners.

Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items?   Yes! She would always offer them to go in front of her.

How do they respond to babies crying in public?   Being empathetic, she would wince a little at first and worry about the child and eventually walk over and ask to hold the baby. She’s really great with children and can almost always calm them down and soothe them.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?   Not funny in a conventional way. She’s funny in the way she’s innocent and cries a lot and is just super adorable. She likes to believe she can be funny sometimes but overall she doesn’t think she is. Humor is not her strong suit.

What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…   Plant humor. Any plant puns or anything similar makes her smile and laugh and it makes her days brighter.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?   She actually abhorrently hates that kind of humor. Having her empathy she feels what the victim feels and also suffers severe secondhand shame and embarrassment. Why is hurting or scaring people funny?

Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?   When she rarely ever runs late, she’ll let the person know as soon as possible and is always honest.

Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?   Honestly, she would struggle with letting them know but would do so after 15 minutes of internal struggle. Then, she would let them know in the most polite way possible and apologize profusely and reassure that it’s not a big deal.

Do they have a large or small group of friends?   Small, with the potential to become large. She’s just usually never the instigator with friendships due to her wilting under social anxiety.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?   Herself, her parents, Aria, Sam, and Violet. And occasionally Piper. Hawkbit and possibly Effy once they ever meet.

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?   No. She likes the idea of them but she can’t deal with the crowds, the loud music, etc. If she does end up going, she either stays in the corner or runs outside, or stays incredibly close to whoever she goes with.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?   More in the mix, for sure. Being the center of attention is uncomfortable for her. While she likes attention and craves it because she’s deathly afraid of ending up alone, the limelight freaks her out.

C. Morality

Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?   Poppy just wants to do what is best for everyone, and she wants to do that if it’s moral. If it isn’t mean, dishonest, hurtful, offensive, etc. she’s okay with it. If it violates anything of the sort she wants nothing to do with it. Even in the end, if she’s put in a situation like she was in Tabletonpa, she wouldn’t kill. She would always choose Mercy.

Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?   Yes, and no. Poppy is not the type to act against her morals unless it’s critical to do so (like lying about the poison ivy leaves). She would feel immense shame for it but believe it was the only option that left both parties unharmed.

Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?   Yes. She has tried to be friends with people who have different ideas than herself and it was very hard for her. Like-minded people make it easier and more comfortable for her. If they have drastically different personalities, but similar ideological tenets, the friendship can still exist.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?   If anything, Poppy believes herself to be inferior to everyone else. She has self esteem issues but tries not to dwell on it too much.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?   Nope! Even when she was in the killing game she didn’t act against those morals. Even if it was inconvenient. The only time she’s okay with lying is if it is to save somebody.

What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?   Poppy can never ignore the hungry or homeless. She actively participates in soup kitchens and even brings bags of vegetables and fruits to the homeless. She visits them and always brings those bags and some money for them.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?   She does believe in change, very firmly so. It can be either natural or very hard, and she holds these beliefs very close to her heart.

Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?   Definitely holding everyone else to the same high expectations. In the events of the killing game, she was always dismayed and disappointed in those who murdered fellow classmates and friends.

D. Religion and Life and Death

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?   Poppy is actually polytheistic! She believes in multiple gods and she’ll pray but she doesn’t believe it necessary to do everyday or go to church or anything like that. She believes that religion can be important to science and vice versa and respects beliefs.

Do they believe in an afterlife?   Yes. She believes in an afterlife because it just sounds too lovely to be fake.

How comfortable are they with the idea of death?   Poppy is aware of death, obviously, and accepts that it is a part of nature. Unnatural causes unnerve her and upset her. Death upsets her even though she knows it is a part of life and is frustrated that she can accept that and yet still feel so miserable when somebody or something dies.

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?   No, she would hate it. She would have to watch all of her loved ones grow old and die without her.

Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?   Poppy is very uncertain about her belief in ghosts. She believes that it’s definitely possible and is scared of them, while also sad for them.

E. Education and Intelligence

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?   Poppy is smart and above average, but not by a lot. She likes to be a sponge with knowledge but has trouble retaining all of it.

Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)   Unsurprisingly, Poppy is strongest in naturalist and intpersonal. Her weakest is probably intrapersonal or logical-mathematical.

How many languages do they speak?   Two! English and Spanish.

Did they enjoy school if they went to it?   She did! She enjoyed learning the subjects and field trips but didn’t necessarily love the social aspects. They made her anxious.

What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education?   As of Tabletonpa, high school. As of currently, she’s double majored in Horticulture and Therapy..

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?   Poppy loves learning! She loves learning knew things and actively seeks out more sources.

Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous?   Poppy is a great note taker, but taking tests make her very nervous. For a while, her teachers were aware of her severe anxiety and had her take the tests after school instead of in class to ease the anxiety and show her true academic potential.

What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?   In tabletonpa, her biggest regret was not telling Sam or Aria that she was intersex. Currently, her biggest regret is letting people walk all over her when she was younger.

F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?   Poppy lives in a small house with her parents in the country area. It’s a small white house, complete with a picket fence and a beautiful garden (a past birthday present for Poppy).

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?   Ideally, she’d like a slightly bigger house than the one she has with her parents. It would have plants and flowers all over, complete with the love(s) of her life.

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?   Yes! She doesn’t mind tiny homes at all and finds them charming.

How clean are they overall with home upkeep?   Pretty clean. Even though she gets dirty outside from gardening, she makes sure the inside of the house is clean. Even what she considers messy is still pretty clean for the average teen.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?   Poppy isn’t super handy with appliances but is super handy with medical remedies and first aid. Usually she’ll call Piper to come and help her, or have Piper FaceTime her and walk her through the process.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?   She works as a local horticulturist and sometimes lends fruits and vegetables to local farmers. Poppy loves working with plants. They are the light of her life.

What’s their “dream career” or job situation?   She’s already pretty much got it. Just gardening and working with plants. She’s interested in plant therapy and wants to get into that.

How often are they home?   Pretty often, though she enjoys traveling to see the sights and exotic plants.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?   Yes! She loves her garden and her parents and being comfortable.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?    Poppy loves drawing and the arts. She’s not very good at it though as we’ve discovered through her art collaboration with Piper. Although, she’d like to believe she’s really good at it.

What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?   She loves to garden, listen to soft pop and soft indie and classical, and be with nature.

Would they enjoy a theme park?   On one hand she would love all the cute themes and food, but on the other hand, she would be terrified of roller coasters and the crowds.

G. Family and Growing Up

Is your OC close to their family?   Yes, she’s very close with her parents. She is an only child. Her parents were kind and nurturing and overall excellent. Poppy loves them so much and admires them more than anything.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?   Just her parents!

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?   Yes! They have been super supportive since day one. They’ve actually helped her so much in terms of her acceptance towards being intersex and her dealing with it.

What kind of childhood did your OC have?   At home, her life was just fine. Her parents were loving and accepting, she didn’t misbehave, and she excelled in school. School was a little rough due to her agoraphobia and anxiety, but she’s overcome most of that.

Did they go through any typical phases growing up?   Not really. She did have that little girl horse phase though, the one where horses are the best thing ever.

Do they have any favorite childhood memories?   Her favorite childhood memory is her parents taking her to a butterfly garden park.

Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?   Poppy would love to forget the types of bullying she went through but she can’t.

H. Romance and Intimacy

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?   Oooo boy. Poppy is polyamorous, panromantic, and demisexual. It’s been a great source of stress to her because for a while, she thought being poly was bad. This lead to her feeling even more different and left out in society, until she came to her parents about it. They reassured her and calmed her down and let her know it was completely normal.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?   Yes! Poppy absolutely is thoughtful with her partner(s). She always gets them gifts from the heart and pays attention to what they love and what they don’t like.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?   Nope! She believes that it’s different for everybody. She’s polyamorous, but doesn’t mind being monogamous if it makes her partner uncomfortable with dating others. Poppy loses eyes for everyone else when she’s in love with somebody monogamous.

Does your OC believe in love in first sight?   Absolutely. She’s a sucker for love.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?   Yes! She loves weddings and wants to get married.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?   God, no. Poppy could never. And she would never want to.

What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..)   She looks for somebody who strives for her to be a better version of herself. She looks for a loving, gentle person. Someone who understands her and is accepting.

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?   A small quiet picnic somewhere, with some nature involved. And soft, playful touches and games.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?   Ignorance, impatience, meanness.

I. Food

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?   Sweet and healthy are her two favorite. Yes, healthy is a flavor. She loves veggies and fruits, cheeses, and breads, generally snack food.

Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions…   Poppy tries to stay vegetarian but understands that meat is nutritious and important for diets. So every once in a while she’ll have fish, chicken, turkey, etc.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?   As I said above, she’s okay with eating meat because of nutrition but she likes staying as close to vegetarian as she can. She thinks the way they kill animals for food is extremely cruel and wishes they would do it in more humane ways.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?   Poppy is actually pretty good with cooking due to her knowledge of herbs, veggies, and spices. She doesn’t order out a lot but she’s not against doing so.

Are they a good cook?   See above!

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?   Yes! She does that a lot, but she prefers eating different things.

J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects

Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?   Poppy is independent. She doesn’t like taking sides and sees positives to both sides.

How politically aware are they?   Poppy is pretty politically aware due to her concerns about the environment and global warming.

How politically active are they?   Poppy will speak up to her followers about certain acts that limit funding for the environment and so on and so forth. She’ll go to protests but only if somebody goes with her and holds her hand.

Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?   She used to be until she learned that that was a thing. Now, she talks to Violet and Jack about reputable sources.

Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?   Absolutely. She wants somebody to be with her when she does so, but she’s passionate about some things and would absolutely go to a protest about it, i.e. Women’s March, Science March, LGBTQIAA+ March, etc.

How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs?   She tries to be respectful and debate with them and see where they are coming from, but once they resort to ad hominem she leaves.

How much interest in environmental health do they have?   SO MUCH. Naturally, Poppy is very interested in environmental health since she works around plants.

In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle?   Yes and yes. She tries to be as environmentally conscious as she can be.

L. For the Writer/Owner

How have your characters changed since you created them?   Originally, Poppy was going to be a redhead who wasn’t very empathetic and rather was very apathetic and quiet. Instead, she somehow became this tiny ball of emotions and love.

What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?   Nature, gender identity, love, anxiety, mercy, morals.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?   I initially created her to be who I used to be, and then she ended up turning into the softer side of who I am today. She’s an emotional mess, much like me. She’s also a huge people pleaser and terrified of letting people down, also taken from me. However, she’s more moral and full of love than I am, and she’s more eco-friendly.

Would you hang out with your OC if you could?   I would love to. She’s adorable and so full of love.

How did you come up with your OC?   So, in the Danganronpa Tabletop game I created her for, I wanted to make the Ultimate Horticulturist so I could have somebody working with plants. I love plants but I haven’t done a lot in terms of caring for them so it was cool to do research for that.   Then, I wanted to make her different from everyone else, so I made her intersex. It’s also cool to have an intersex character because it raises a tiny bit of awareness as to what intersex is. It’s sad because intersex people don’t get a lot of reputation in the media, or at all, really.   Poppy transformed into a small, sensitive ball of love and adoration who had so much love and respect to give and I fell in love with that concept much more. She was also a good contrast to Redd (the fireball of energy and excitement) and Violet (my serious and logical character).

[rechief]

Aria Arpeggio’s “Big Ol’ Honkin’” Character Questionnaire

Courtesy of @danscratch​.

This one has two pieces of short fiction in it!

A. Psychology

What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera…

INFP. “Sensitive, creative, idealistic, perceptive, caring, loyal,” per Wikipedia.

What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera…

Aria is lawful good, mostly because the thought of defying authority makes her stomach churn.

Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it?

Aria has extreme social anxiety disorder. She is aware that she has a problem.

Do they try to treat it?

Aria does not seek help for her disorder.

Are they a pessimist or an optimist?

Aria is most often pessimistic.

Are they good at handling change in their life?

Definitely not.

Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

Aria is generally quite sure that her perceptions of things are accurate; when confronted by someone about a difference in perception, however, she is most likely to wilt under pressure and defer to the judgment of the other person. 

Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted?

Aria is constantly embarrassed by a litany of the things she does, including how she reacts to things that are frightening or emotionally disturbing. This is part of why she hates scary movies.

Is your OC a martyr?

No.

Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

Aria is more the sort of person who apologizes straight-out and takes too much of the blame when something goes wrong.

Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily?

Yes, and yes.

Does your OC put others’ needs before their own?

This is something Aria aspires to do, but her anxiety often forces her to prioritize self-care over helping others.

Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves?

It could be said that Aria is “addicted” to holding and playing her violin, in the sense that it provides her with the same sort of comfort that doing things like smoking, overeating, or self-harm can provide for others. She has a sense that it’s problematic but is hesitant to do anything about it.

Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

Aria is easily frightened, but doesn’t have the sort of dread of any one thing in particular that would constitute a full-blown phobia.

Is your character empathetic?

Yes, but she’s so quiet that she rarely expresses her empathy to others.

Is your character observant?

Yes.

Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?

Aria can learn easily from observation and lecture, and often avoids trying new things entirely so as to avoid embarrassing herself by getting something wrong.

What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves?

“Uhm -- Poppy? Can I have a word?”

Before her schoolmate had even responded, Aria was already chastising herself for asking the question in the manner and tone that a librarian might use while trying to gently discuss a long-overdue book with its forgetful borrower -- but then Poppy Heathcliff turned toward her, golden hair shimmering in the dappled sunlight, and smiled sweetly at her, and Aria thought that she might faint from the rush of longing she experienced in that exact moment. “Uhm, sure,” she replied, softly. “What’s the matter?”

“Well,” Aria continued, entering the greenhouse proper, smoothing out her skirt nervously with one hand, while her other gently gripped the neck of her violin and her bow together, “n-nothing’s really the, ah, matter, or anything like that.” She kneeled down next to Poppy, who was patiently re-potting an especially prickly plant. “I just, ah... I’ve been thinking about something for a long time, and I feel like today is the day that I should just pull the trigger and really do it.”

Aria expected Poppy’s expression to become curious, or perhaps knowing -- but instead, her friend’s eyes widened dramatically behind her glasses. “A-Are you going to kill yourself?”

“I -- what -- no!” replied Aria, startled. “I just -- I’ve just been thinking about you a lot lately and--”

“You’re going to kill yourself because of me?!” exclaimed Poppy, looking as though she might start hyperventilating at any moment.

“No!” said Aria again, Poppy’s sudden surge of anxiety making her anxious as well. “I’m not going to kill myself! I just -- here!”

And then Aria leaned forward and pressed her lips to Poppy’s, which had the effect of both silencing the tea-kettle-like wailing that the girl had started emitting moments before, and also communicating the Ultimate Concert Violinist’s intentions much more clearly than her words could’ve managed.

By the time Aria pulled back -- slowly, and perhaps ten or fifteen seconds later, Poppy’s face was scarlet, her glasses askew. “I’m sorry,” said Aria, immediately, shrinking back a little. “I wanted to ask if I could kiss you first, because consent is very important to me, but then I just thought that if I didn’t do it right then I might never do it, and so I just, uhm... did it.”

Poppy reached up to fix her glasses with both hands, her eyes slightly magnified by her lenses as she met Aria’s gaze. “You mean... you like me?” she said, softly, sounding astounded.

“I -- o-of course I do!” replied Aria, placing a hand on Poppy’s shoulder. “Ever since I met you.”

“Even though you know about...?” She trailed off, but the meaning of her question was clear.

“Even though I know,” said Aria, nodding firmly.

She wasn’t sure what she’d expected Poppy to do after that, but lunging forward to envelop Aria in a full-bodied hug definitely caught the violinist off-guard. She leaned back, arms windmilling for a moment before she managed to find her balance; then, she gently patted her friend -- her girlfriend? -- on the top of her head.

Altogether, asking Poppy out had gone better than she’d expected!

Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

Aria certainly isn’t immune to jealousy, but she doesn’t get much more jealous than the average person. She almost always feels bad about it, though.

What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood?

Being without her violin for extended periods of time.

Are they harsh on themselves?

Yes.

Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

Aria is classically beautiful in the sense that a professional model might be. When I first created her, I intended for her to be a potential murderer in the Perfect Crime campaign in which she was featured, and I thought her attractiveness would juxtapose nicely with her true nature.

Then she wound up being a shy bundle of nerves instead.

Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Aria doesn’t spend too much time reflecting on her physical appearance, and she feels confident in nothing short of her prowess with a violin.

What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it?

Definitely her anxiety. She’s overcoming it little by little.

B. Social

Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Aria believes that one must give respect to get it.

Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly?

Not really. In fact, she usually winds up entertaining everyone else in line by playing a song while she waits.

Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera?

Even if she’s angry, she’d never show it.

Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip?

Aria always tips generously.

Do they hold doors open for people?

Yes.

Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items?

Aria would probably let someone ahead of her in line regardless of their circumstances.

How do they respond to babies crying in public?

Aria would probably play a song in an effort to get them to stop.

Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny?

Not especially, and no.

What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Aria is fine with conventional humor, but most jokes or skits get polite titters out of her at most.

Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t?

Not really.

Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late?

Aria would call or text the person like twelve times and the apologize profusely on arrival.

Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?

Aria would just eat it anyway.

Do they have a large or small group of friends?

Aria has a small, close group of friends.

Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves?

Her future spouse, definitely.

Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..?

Certainly not.

Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix?

The last thing Aria wants to be is the center of attention, unless she’s playing her violin.

C. Morality

Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Aria doesn’t have a set-in-stone moral code; just a general sense of what’s right and wrong.

Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?

Yes, Aria would feel bad for doing something she knows in her heart to be wrong.

Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?

Not especially. Aria is pretty flexible in that regard.

Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser?

Aria doesn’t really consider herself morally superior to most people.

Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Flexible, to a degree; situational, no.

What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so?

Aria would try to ignore them at first, but would inevitably help if she were directly confronted.

Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort?

Aria believes that people can, with effort, change over time.

Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

Aria is practically moral.

D. Religion and Life and Death

How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Aria is not religious, and thinks religion is rather silly.

Do they believe in an afterlife?

No.

How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

It’s something she tries not to dwell on.

Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

Aria wouldn’t mind being immortal, as long as she could de-immortalize herself should she choose.

Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible?

Aria does not believe in ghosts -- but she still thinks they’re creepy.

E. Education and Intelligence

Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree?

Aria is very intelligent, and was a straight-A student throughout school. She would, of course, downplay her own intelligence, however.

Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

Aria is absolutely strongest in musical intelligence; to her, playing the violin -- and to a slightly lesser extent, other string instruments -- is as easy and instinctual as doing something like breathing or blinking is to a normal person.

How many languages do they speak?

Aria speaks both English and Italian fluently; she learned the latter language to better understand complex music terms.

Did they enjoy school if they went to it?

Aria enjoys the academic aspects of going to school; less so the social aspects.

What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education?

Aria is absolutely the sort of person who would go on to at least get a bachelor’s degree.

Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education?

Aria does enjoy learning, and loves watching documentaries and reading non-fiction books.

Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous?

Aria has impeccable handwriting and is actually a pretty good test-taker, but she’s always nervous going into an exam.

What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

This isn’t a “regret”, per se, because it isn’t her fault, but Aria often wishes that she’d grown up in a friendlier and more loving household.

F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies

What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there?

Aria lives in her family’s manor in a wealthy suburb of Connecticut.

What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

Structurally, Aria likes her current home, but wouldn’t mind living in another place.

Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

She likes to think so, but she’d start to feel rather claustrophobic in a small home.

How clean are they overall with home upkeep?

Aria is a fastidious cleaner and keeps her house spotless.

How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

With the exception of repairing and maintaining string instruments, Aria is not the least bit handy. Fortunately, Piper is more than happy to come visit and help her out with housework.

How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it?

Aria is a solo violinist by trade, and performs all over the world. She loves performing and wouldn’t trade her job for the world.

What’s their “dream career” or job situation?

See above.

How often are they home?

Aria’s work schedule alternates between months of non-stop traveling and performing, and weeks of free time at home.

Are they homebodies and enjoy being home?

Aria enjoys being home; it’s a place to “recharge her batteries”.

Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

It’s fair to say that Aria is quite artistically gifted.

What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most?

Aria enjoys light gardening, thanks to Poppy. She also likes taking solitary walks in nature or through parks. While she enjoys swimming, she is self-conscious about wearing a swimsuit in front of others.

Would they enjoy a theme park?

The prospect of going on roller coasters fills Aria with a sense of extraordinary dread.

G. Family and Growing Up

Is your OC close to their family?

No.

Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them?

Aria grew up as an only child with a mother and father -- an attorney and a banker, respectively -- who were rarely at home due to business obligations and international travel. As such, she was mostly “raised” by a small cohort of waitstaff who frequently took their frustrations with her parents out on her by being emotionally and physically abusive.

Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not?

No; see above.

What kind of childhood did your OC have?

Aria’s childhood was rather unpleasant until she was sent to boarding school a few years before being invited to Hope’s Horizon, at which point she was able to interact with positive adult role models and caretakers.

Did they go through any typical phases growing up?

Aria did try to run away from home once, but she was caught before she managed to leave her family’s sprawling estate.

Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

A knock on the door to Aria’s new dormitory interrupted her violin-playing. The fact that there was someone outside -- someone who probably wanted to speak to her -- made her pulse race and her mouth dry out almost at once. She decided to ignore the person and wait until they went away.

Then, there was another knock. “Um, excuse me,” said a voice -- Aria thought that it was definitely a girl, and someone who was probably around ten years old, like her. “I was just passing by, and I heard you playing. Can I come in and listen?”

Aria remained silent, but now she could feel her heart aching with a certain longing. She’d never encountered someone who wanted to hear her play her violin before. Her parents had never shown much interest, and the servants had only ever complained -- openly -- about the “noise”. Deciding to investigate, she slowly slid off her bed and then shuffled soundlessly across the carpet so that she could peer through the peep hole in her door.

She almost jumped back in response to what she saw -- a large, green eye looking right back at her! The girl on the other end stepped backward after that, and Aria was able to get a clearer view of her: a shock of red hair, a smattering of freckles, and a charming, if nervous, smile.

“It’s okay if you’re shy,” said the girl. “I’m shy too -- but I hope that I get to hear you play one day. You’re really good.”

You’re really good?

Aria reflected on the ways she’d been spoken to about her playing before -- stop that nonsense, you’re being ridiculous, why don’t you try investing your time in something sensible, you’ll just wind up a starving artist who sucks the family fortune dry with your begging.

You’re really good. That was what she’d said.

Aria turned around, her back against the door, and slid down until she was sitting on the carpet, knees against her chest. She’d been content to be alone for so long because interacting with others had always been a negative experience. Now, someone was outside her door -- mere inches away from her -- and that instinct of self-preservation -- of intentional loneliness -- was keeping her from going out to be with her. The mere thought of opening the door and speaking to her was simultaneously thrilling and terrifying.

Tears of frustration welled up in Aria’s eyes, and she did her best to suppress a choking sob. She’d never felt so conflicted in her life.

“H-Hey, don’t cry!” said the girl, from the other side of the door. “I’m really sorry! I was just trying to -- um, it’s fine. I’ll go.”

She could hear the girl’s footsteps padding away from the door, and it was then that Aria realized that she definitely didn’t want her to go.

She tucked her violin between her neck and collarbone, raised the bow to the bridge, and began to play -- more loudly than usual, so that the girl would be able to hear. There was a pause in those footsteps, and then she heard them coming back, followed by a soft squeaking as she, too, eased down to sit against the door, listening contently. Were it not for the few inches of wood separating them, they’d be sitting back-to-back.

“Concerto #3,” said the girl, admiringly. “That’s one of my favorites!”

Then, she fell silent, allowing Aria to express herself through music. She hadn’t quite made a friend yet, she thought to herself, but she was getting there.

Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by?

Yes, much of it having to do with the way she was raised.

H. Romance and Intimacy

What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation?

Aria is a lesbian, romantically and sexually. She finds this stressful, at times, because showing interest in someone of the same sex involves determining whether or not they’re interested in a same-sex relationship, which is always a conversation with lots of potential for causing unintentional offense. She’s been sure she was attracted to other women for as long as she can remember.

Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Yes. Aria’s devotion to her partner borders on co-dependency.

Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right?

Aria believes that she’s capable of being romantically compatible with many different people; she is, however, quite smitten with Poppy and wouldn’t trade her for the world.

Does your OC believe in love in first sight?

Yes.

Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)?

Aria certainly wouldn’t mind getting married, but she would want the ceremony to be fairly secular.

Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on?

No.

What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically…)

Mostly, Aria looks for someone who can handle her unceasing anxiousness.

What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date?

A trip to the opera or the theater. Aria has a difficult time going to see the orchestra, because there is literally not a violinist on Earth as talented as she is, and she spends the whole concert silently critiquing the lead violin’s performance.

What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners?

Anything that even hedges on verbal abuse. She got quite enough of that at home.

I. Food

What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera?

Aria loves spicy food, since the food served up at her parents’ estate was often quite bland.

Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions…

Aria can at times be a picky eater, but she doesn’t have any biological, cultural, or religious restrictions on what she can or cannot eat.

Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances?

Aria is generally omnivorous, but she goes through a phase of being vegetarian or vegan for a couple of days every time she watches a nature documentary.

How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot?

Aria cooks infrequently. She travels often enough that she spends most of her life eating hotel or restaurant fare.

Are they a good cook?

Aria is a competent, but not stellar, cook.

Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

Aria enjoys trying new things, even if she is not always successful at doing so. Certain textures and flavors just bother her.

J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects

Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most?

Aria is left-leaning, but the dread she experiences at the thought of arguing with people causes her to avoid taking extreme political positions.

How politically aware are they?

Aria is slightly more aware than the average citizen -- mostly because she reads the newspaper during flights.

How politically active are they?

Aria votes, and shyly attends the occasional pride parade, but that’s about it.

Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong?

Aria does not generally fall for fake news.

Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about?

Aria might attend a protest, but she wouldn’t protest actively because she wouldn’t want the attention.

How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs?

Aria does her best to be tolerant, but her opinion of someone does tend to sour if they, for instance, oppose LGBTQ+ rights.

How much interest in environmental health do they have?

Aria thinks a healthy environment is very important -- you can’t make violins without trees, after all.

In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle?

Aria believes in global warming and recycles.

L. For the Writer/Owner

How have your characters changed since you created them?

Aria was originally designed as a character with the potential to murder other characters; she quickly became an anxiety-ridden dork instead.

What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

Mental illness, expression through music.

Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you?

Aria is like me in a lot of respects, particularly her social anxiety and her natural affinity for music. However, I am straight.

Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

Sure!

How did you come up with your OC?

I wanted to make a severe and mysterious character and thought that a violin player would be perfect. Of course, as I’ve stated a few times above, she quickly became quite different from how I’d initially imagined her.

[everyoneneedsalisteningear]

Dear possible future counsellor/therapist,

I hate to be that kind of patient, those that did their kinda whole background reading online and come to you expecting that you confirm what they have already diagnosed for yourself and in the whole process, kind of not trust you if you tell them otherwise.

...I'm very sorry, but I am this kind of patient.

I know it is annoying, but let's face it, in this day and age, who wouldn't find and see things on the internet? We all need to start adapting our ways to deal with such patients. To get them to trust you without wholly discrediting the "homework" they did and believe in.

I would also like to bring up the prevalence of mental health issues in my generation. It is almost like a joke now amongst a ton of us, that we have no life goals, that we're just dissatisfied with life in general and it's a slob, where we're always alone and sad --- there's a whole meme culture for this called dank memes, and the amount of people that relate to this is quite a lot.

many many people in our generation are identifying as having anxiety and depression, and it is truly a whole community worth of people.

But I need to tell you this, and I want you to believe me. As much as I find these depressing jokes very funny and relatable, that isn't the reason why I'm here, and that isn't the reason why I choose to feel this way.

I wouldn't want to be here if I didn't feel like I needed to be. Feeling this way sucks. I want my old self back. I didn't choose for this to happen. The main reason why I am here, is because I feel that what I am going through seems abnormal. Emotions are supposed to be relatively rational, in a sense that if you're worried, something worth worrying about has happened/if you're sad, something sad has happened etc.

The thing is, I feel a pang of sadness that comes out of nowhere. For no particular reason whatsoever worth me feeling THIS sucky. I have a quote from myself, once when I was going through those times, that goes "can I fall sick or something so I have a legit reason to feel this shitty".

There was literally nothing going on. My life is uneventful like that. I could just be studying. I could even be hanging out with my beloved friends, who put up with so much more of my crap than they should be subjected to, I could be alone doing things I love like dancing or watching a movie or even eating, and there would be times where my chest hurts and I feel like crying. It's funny because it's not so much sadness, but like I like to describe it, I'm simply, down. Kind of like you're some heavy rock. Then obviously you don't feel like doing anything except lie on a bed and wallow in self-pity.

My baseline, I would describe it as a certain extent of self-consciousness. There is an inner monologue in my head going on most of the time, thinking through things I want to do or say. I remember once, for 2 days straight, I was functional as heck. Inner monologue me wasn't there, and I socialised well and was alone well as well. I was happy and content, and I never felt so confident with myself.

But that was awhile ago, and the muck creeped back in over time.

Inner monologue me is frustrating. When my chest hurts, it screams my motto at me (kinda the coping mechanism I found for myself over the year), which is that the lower I feel, the more I must fight it. "Fight it, resist it you idiot!", it would scream at me. At other times when my mind is racing, there's just many inner monologue mes talking over each other. Sometimes it's not just me, it's replayed conversations from my past, just coming back here and there. If it doesn't reach a peak, that's manageable. But sometimes, the talking gets faster and faster, and my heart starts to race and I get kinda panicky and I really need to find some way to break it. Usually I change my activity or find another distraction. Sleeping does not work.

But these aren't the worst things. Let me tell you about my worst fear. It used to be that I was scared I wasn't a good person at heart. That's no longer the case, after I started feeling something different.

It started with a rare, seemingly one-off episode, like my chest-hurting which is much more common now..., where I was just suddenly acutely aware that I am a person, alive in this world, and I am me.

I don't like talking about it because imagining it may make me go there, and I don't want to go there. I lose myself there. It's like I don't even know who I am anymore, and I'm just some... thing controlling this human I call "me" in this weird universe we call reality. I feel like an avatar, in a first person game, navigating my way around. Even when I talk to my friends, sometimes it's like talking to them through a screen. That is my worst fear. That I lose myself completely, that I start contemplating about things I can't put into words, when reality falls apart and seems like some sort of game. When I am detached from the world around me and everything seems muffled, and everything overwhelms me all at once. Where I feel alone and yet I don't know who I am. That is my worst fear. This may sound melodramatic, but.. sinking into oblivion like into a deep dark sea with no one around you, no sounds of life, blurry visions, no start and no end, like being trapped in some kind of weird limbo? yeah that's the stuff.

...

So, I feel like I need to pull myself out of that for awhile now and just let you know some of my counselling history. I went to the school counsellor for a couple of sessions and stopped completely. I have no intention of going back to see her, ever, because it wasn't a good fit.

Granted, I wasn't always completely honest with her but that's in a way of me just feeling weird to be so dramatic about my emotions. Like how I am usually like with friends and family, I tend to joke around alot and be very sarcastic, and I do that especially when talking about serious and sad things like that.

I suppose I wasn't taken very seriously then, because she kept reassuring me that there is nothing wrong with me, just some self-confidence issues.

Now...you must see where this is a problem. For me, at least.

I, am someone who has been writing diary entries since I was in kindergarten. I love writing whenever I had something I wanted to share. Writing was my outlet, writing is where I tell stories about my life and usually, make them sound better than they actually were, but that's just a speciality of mine. Also, and most importantly, writing made me my own counsellor.

I've been solving my own problems, insecurities and whatnot, via writing for the past like 13/14 years. I wouldn't be here, if I didn't think that there was something really wrong with me, that was abnormal, that I cannot rationalise myself out of, and that I need professional help with.

So when I've gathered all my courage to approach a mental health professional, telling them I think I may need help, telling me that nothing is wrong with me is NOT reassuring.

What does that mean? If nothing is wrong with me, that means that whatever emotions I'm feeling and whatever thoughts I'm having, that there is a reason to them. That they make sense, and it's a normal reaction to things happening in my life. But that's not the case! I feel and think these things REGARDLESS!

So how do you explain this, if there is "nothing wrong with me"??

It was really frustrating. I felt like she didn't believe me, and once, when I told her I really didn't feel like getting out of bed and doing anything at all, feeling unmotivated etc, she laughed and said, oh right, like feeling too lazy to do anything right and I was like. okay. no.

Being lazy, is a whole other issue altogether.

I'm not someone, to not do important things, and let myself fall apart, simply because of laziness. I won't let myself. Which is why I've been fighting it even more nowadays, because I gave in to it initially when I first felt it for the first few times. Back then, I thought well maybe if I really sink myself into it, I'll "use it up" and then I can move on. You know how they say, accepting the emotion instead of being in denial so you can find out what's wrong, accept it and then move on. But nooo.... I let myself sink into it, and only got out a few months later. It was horrible. That period of my life is a blur, I don't even know what was going on, I was just surviving blindly.

She did, eventually, give me a referral to some mental health organisation because I think she could tell that I was exasperated she wasn't giving me a diagnosis of some sort (my fault, sorry), but then I met another kind of frustration.

The man I talked to, basically told me that I wasn't depressed enough to have depression.

Oh, your life isn't in complete shambles? Oh, you can still get out of bed in the morning? Oh, you haven't missed a bunch of meals or ate until your stomach exploded? Oh, you still have friends? Yeah, I don't think you're depressed. You're fine.

Excuse me, perhaps I feel these ways in a milder version. I may not feel like eating, but I eat something anyway because I'm not to the point where I want to starve myself. Besides, eating is a coping mechanism for me. A great distraction. So not eating? yeah no, not gonna happen. Eating too much? I eat a lot normally, so it's not really a thing. I really can't tell the difference. But yes, now, I do see the differences abit more clearly perhaps after a longer period of monitoring myself, I do eat less when I'm down. But not to the point of not eating because I'm not suicidal yet.

Sleep patterns is a whole other thing. I can safely tell you that when I am down, I sleep past 2am, unless I have a headache and have to sleep earlier. Because I lose track of time, and I don't want to be alone with my head. I get a bad feeling about it sometimes. Which is why I can't be alone, usually, when I'm down because I'm scared that negative thoughts will overwhelm me.

The thing is though, I am someone who also wants to be empowered to live their life, so I'm not going to just sit back and let all these things ruin my life. I fight back. So to say that as if my grades are slipping like shit and I'm going to LET it? nope, not gonna happen. I have a career ahead of me and no matter how shitty I feel and how unmotivated I am to do anything about it, you'd be sure I will sit myself on that chair, and I will stare at my laptop screen until I do some work. No it will not be my best work. But it will be something. So to say that I'm going to let all these things happen and me just letting it be, as a sign of depression? no. I felt insulted, if I have to be completely honest.

So at that point I did get pissed, and outrightly asked him, "okay so if I don't have depression, what is this? why do I feel all this? there has to be a reason for it", and he finally gave in not fighting me on it, that I may have depressive symptoms, but then added, but not to the point of depression yet.

I guess it was the most I could get out of him at that point.

I feel bad that I want people to diagnose me. I want to feel that these thoughts and emotions to be validated by a mental health issue, because, like what I asked him, if this isn't it, them give me a good reason why my thoughts and emotions are irrational!

I believe I made my stand clear ... I hope to hear what you have to say. Thank you for listening.

[tinyhatonapumpkin]

Hey, I saw your post about how non autistic people aren't accommodating to autistic people and was wondering if you had any recommendations of how to be more accommodating? I'm not NT but I don't have autism and I'm not sure what kinds of things would be helpful when interacting with someone with autism.

(Sorry if this is a really late response my internet has been abysmal for the past..... WHILE)

-Make sure that you don’t assume meaning from our actions. That’s one of our biggest frustrations. Allistic people often read into our actions, words, body language, etc. and then make incorrect assumptions. Remember, we’re not allistic, our brains work different, we think different, so the reason WE do something may be very different from the reason an allistic person does something.

- By extension: say what you mean and mean what you say. There are so many times that people get mad at me, say I’m being a little shit or purposefully obtuse, etc. just because... I didn’t get what they were insinuating. Or I didn’t read between the lines, or whatever. Hell it’s gotten to the point that I often over read into what allistics say, because goddamn. You people can’t just be direct. So in an attempt to accommodate, I end up accidentally reading into things that aren’t meant to be read into, or over reading into things, or even just getting the wrong meaning because I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. Just... talk to us. Don’t hint. Especially don’t get annoyed if we don’t catch what you’re saying.

- Kinda on the same vein, but: If an autistic person doesn’t understand something, even if you think it obvious, don’t ridicule them for it, just explain it. Things that come naturally to you don’t come naturally to us. Our mental skills are elsewhere. Also it’s usually social stuff or figures of speech we don ’t understand, and i mean... that stuff is bullshit anyway. (This isn’t just social and communication btw, this could even be just how to do a task.)

-Speaking of which: don’t force autistic people to conform to your social standards. Don’t force us to make eye contact. Don’t tell us not to stim. Don’t get mad at us for repeating something or scripting.

-If we communicate in a nonverbal way, don’t tell us to “use [our] words!” (ex: pointing and gesturing to something we want passed to us at the table, a hand on your shoulder when we’re trying to get past you, etc.) Because even if we may not be nonverbal at the time, we might be overwhelmed, and so talking uses a lot of energy. Or we just might be very distracted and plain forget to speak. Getting angry at us will only stress us out more, which will only exacerbate the problem.

-Speaking of nonverbal: if someone needs to communicate using an alternative communication method, like writing, typing, AAC, etc. GIVE THEM TIME TO WRITE THEIR RESPONSE. I can’t tell you how many people will just get annoyed and move on, stop talking to me, try (and fail) to guess what I’m trying to say, etc. It’s more frustrating than the inability to use my mouth to talk in the first place. This can also go for people who stutter and/or stammer. Which often happens to autistics too. Just give us time to communicate however we can.

-Don’t spring things on autistics. Plan things in advance, and if they are asking for lots of info about what you’re going to be doing, don’t get annoyed. Shit is stressful for us, so knowing a lot about it can help ease the anxiety and stress. The more we know the better we can prepare. Because the world isn’t made for us, so we have to do a lot to fit into it. But if we know nothing about the situation, we can’t know what we need to do for it. Not to mention we often need accessibility items, so it’s important to know what’s going on so we know what to bring.

-If the autistic person needs things done a certain way, let them have it done that way. It is extremely stressful if one of our constants in our lives is disrupted. Also we have things done in the way we do them for a reason. Whether it be to fight decision fatigue by having routines and sameness, or just doing things a certain way because it makes our homes, clothes, LIFE more sensory friendly, just... let us have our things be the way we need them. Hell even shit like sitting in the same seat every meeting let’s say: it’s easier to focus on the meeting when your SPD isn’t having to process all sorts of new information because you’re seeing the room from a different perspective.

-Don’t judge us in any way for our “weird” behaviours. So this includes “weird” expressions, body language, habits (chewing, sucking, stimming, etc.), body movements, speech, etc. And by judge I mean commenting, funny looks, reactions, etc. Just act like it’s totally normal, because to us? It kinda is.

-Small talk.... just... ugh. So something that happens a lot that I HATE is that allistic people will disrupt my work to just... chat. About fucking nothing. I’ll be doing something and then they’ll just come up to me and be all like “Whatcha doing?” “...working.” “Whatcha working on?” “I’m typing up the minutes.” “...” “...” “So how was your weekend?” etc. Drives me up the wall. You could clearly see I was in the middle of something. If you don’t have anything you actually need from me? Leave me be. I’ll chat later when I’m not busy!! (If you’re not sure, just ask if the person is busy/up for chatting.)

-Don’t be overly condemning/abrasive when informing us that something we’re doing/said/etc. is inappropriate, offensive, rude, etc. Now this part may seem like I’m contradicting the whole “don’t hold us up to your social standards” thing, but being autistic isn’t a get out of jail free card. If we are doing or saying something shitty, it still needs to be addressed. However we may not realize the impact of it. This could be because it’s not a big deal to us and we don’t realize that it is for others, or just because in an attempt to fit in, we mimicked those around us... and those around us weren’t the best people.

For example: I have dermotilliomania. So I can’t stand it whenever there’s a zit on my face, ESPECIALLY a white head. I’d pop that sucker as soon as I saw it. But I didn’t realize that this was more of my own experience, so in my teens, whenever I’d notice one on my sister’s face, I’d point it out. I wasn’t trying to go all “haha you have acne” I was more going “Oh no you have a Bad Thing on your face, you probably want to get rid of it!!” Kinda like when you tell someone that they have something in their teeth or a bit of sauce on their chin. Unfortunately though, she was allistic and did not have dermotiliomania, so to her I was just constantly pointing out something that she was insecure about. So it actually caused a lot of self image problems for her. I didn’t learn the full impact of it until years later.

So in that example, a good thing to do would be to explain: “I really don’t like it when you point out my acne, because you pointing it out all the time makes me really insecure.”

Using myself for an example again: I was raised in a white Conservative Catholic family. So I didn’t understand the allistic world, and the only people I had to base my understanding OF that world were..... well not great. So I had to spend a lot of time unlearning stuff. I’m not trying to excuse anything I did or said that was offensive, but I just feel like pointing out something.

Here’s how intense it can be: my family LOVED making “r*tard jokes”, which were actually autism jokes looking back. I made them along with them, even though I did all the behaviours they were mocking (but in secret). Hell I even threw around the r word in casual conversation, because that’s what I was used to hearing, and what I thought was normal.  I had a good friend begin my education about that stuff, so by the time I found out that I’m autistic, I had already dropped all the jokes and language... and started realizing how terrible they were because they were making fun of me in a way. (I even remember hearing things like “why are you acting like such a r*tard?” and then trying to hide it by acting like I was just doing more of the mocking.)

Now the latter half of this section (or even this section in general) may just seem like good advice in general. But it’s particularly relevant for autistic people, because we often end up with more rude behaviours, and more easily adopt offensive crap... and find it harder to lose because scripts and echolalia and whatnot. So if they continue after you address them, just point it out each time they do it, but in a gentle reminding way, because they probably just are falling back on old scripts, forgot themselves for a moment because of everything else going on, etc. It’ll take some time, but it’ll happen. 

Ok so idk if I went overboard or not, but.... here are some things anyway!! 

(And hell this might just be a good list, so feel free to reblog it anyone reading if you’re just stumbling upon it or whatever.)

[thedisc0panda]

A massive about the characters post

A. Psychology: Valan What of the Meyers-Briggs personality types they most fit into? INFP, ENFT, et cetera… What alignment are they? Chaotic neutral, lawful evil, et cetera… MBTI: INTP Chaotic Neutral Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it? Valan is legally blind and uses a cane and reads raised print and Braille Anxiety/Depression/Bipolar disorder Mood disorder Learning disabilities Congenital Genetic mutation Are they a pessimist or an optimist? Generally a mix depending on the situation Are they good at handling change in their life? Due to anxiety and a mood regulation disorder he doesn't deal with change well Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.” He's more “It's possible I misheard you.” Is your OC confident in their reactions to life in general, or do they get embarrassed or easily shamed for it? I.e., if something startles them, do they insist it WAS scary? When they cry, do they feel like they overreacted? Valan is confident when he knows what he's doing but still is easily embarrassed, though he enjoys performing. If something startles him then he insists it was scary and he rarely cries and feels it's okay when he does so. Is your OC a martyr? More of a reincarnation rather a martyr Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others? He makes excuses when he's feeling lazy. Usually makes excuses over why he has no money. Does your OC compromise easily? Too easily? He compromises a fair amount but not too easily Does your OC put others’ needs before their own? Depends on who the others are. Does your OC have any addictions? If so and problematic, have they admitted it to themselves? No but he has smoked occasionally and had alcohol before, though was not fond of either and luckily didn't develop an addiction. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from? He's terrified of spiders, most other insects, and the dark Is your character empathetic? Yes Is your character observant? Very much so for someone with low vision Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first? He learns the lesson of resilience and grows up after being exiled. After joining the Morag Tong his senses become sharpened and he learns to control his emotions. What’s one of your OC’s proudest moments of themselves? Being recognized as Nerevarine Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do? Yes and he feels rather bad afterwards. What instantly irritates them or puts them in a bad mood? People constantly talking, ignoring him because he's blind, inaccessible places, girls flirting with him Are they harsh on themselves? Yes because depression is a thing Do they make excuses often? Mostly because he's broke a lot of the time and needs money for food Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why? He's usually found to be very attractive, likely because of his hair and he's just very handsome in a dorky, innocent, and sometimes broody way Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it? Not too much but he keeps himself well kept What are some of your OC’s biggest personal obstacles? This could be emotional, physical, social… Are they aware of it? Are they trying to overcome it? Physical: Low vision Emotional: Mood regulation/childhood trauma (loss of his dad) Social: the fact he didn't go to public school B. Social : Anna Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it? That you have to give respect to get it Do they get frustrated when lines at places like pharmacies, check-outs, delis, banks, et cetera, are moving slowly? Yes due to sensory issues and add/adhd Under what situations would they get angry at servers, staff, customer service, et cetera? Do they tip well? How easily can they be moved to not leave a tip? If people were being mistreated, she tips within normal limits, only with very poor service she won't leave a tip at all Do they hold doors open for people? Granted it's not too heavy Would your OC let someone ahead of them in line if your OC had a big cart and the person behind them had very few items? Yes How do they respond to babies crying in public? Cover her ears and hope the mother quiets their child Is your OC considered funny? Do they believe they’re funny? Yes in a cute way What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM… She likes puns and funny sounds and nerdy jokes Does your OC find any “bad” or “mean” humor funny? Do they wish they didn’t? She finds bad words hilarious sometimes Your OC is running late to meeting someone: Do they let the other person know? Do they lie about why they’re late? She lets the other person know and appears ‘fashionably late’ Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do? They call the waiter/waitress over and ask them to redo it Do they have a large or small group of friends? Large group of friends, though not many childhood friends. Do they have people they are genuinely honest with about themselves? Not too many people. Does your OC enjoy social events, such as parties, clubs, et cetera..? No. She considers lounging around with the twins playing chess and drinking coffee a party. Does your OC like to be the center of attention or more in the mix? In the mix C. Morality: Xavier Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it? Xavier has a moral code of treat others how you'd like to be treated and they will treat you the way they'd like to be treated, whether that be positive or negative. Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it? Yes he feels bad if he lashed out at an innocent person but people being jerks it's justified to teach them a lesson Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own? For the most part yes, especially if they are close to him Do they consider themselves superior or more important than anyone else? Lesser? Usually average to slightly superior Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational? Yes. If you're an enemy you get no mercy What do they do when they see someone asking for money or food? If they ignore them, why? If they help, how so? Depends on the situation, sometimes he gives and sometimes he doesn't. It depend if he thinks the person is a scam or genuine. Do they believe people change over time? If so, is it a natural process or does it take effort? That it takes effort and realization and repentance of your mistakes Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical? Practical. D. Religion and Life and Death: Alarian How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general? Do they believe in an afterlife? Ali is a fairly religious person in certain situations. They are Jewish (or the thedas equivalent, I have an AU that places modern religions as the thedas equivalent based on canon lore) Ali is a messenger of the Hebrew (elvish) God and thus is religious to some extent. How comfortable are they with the idea of death? Knowing that within a few days they'll be back on earth they aren't too worried about it Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be? They are immortal though in a different way to my other ocs. They can die but will be reincarnated either in the same or different body. Completely healed. Do they believe in ghosts? If not, why? If so, do they think they’re magical/tie into their religion, or are they scientifically plausible? They believe in ghosts are there are some in their castle in tevinter. It is due to magical energy from The Fade. E. Education and Intelligence: Isabelle. M Would you say that your OC is intelligent? In what ways? Would your OC agree? In terms of street smarts and books smarts yes, socially not as much. Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera) Naturalist is her strongest. Linguistic is her weakest. How many languages do they speak? Four? Or five maybe? Did they enjoy school if they went to it? She didn't really like school What’s their highest education level? Do they want to continue their education? Do they enjoy learning? Do they actively seek out sources of self-education? Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous? Currently in college. She enjoys learning on her own. Not a very good note taker but good test taker. Exams make them nervous. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets? Not auditioning to wind ensemble F. Domestic Habits, Work, and Hobbies: Yuuri What sort of home do they live in now, if at all? How did they end up there? Lives in his families home and the Morag Tong headquarters with his uncle. What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it? Probably Valans castle but somewhere other than the ashlands. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”? Nope, he likes open space How clean are they overall with home upkeep? His mother or uncle constantly tell him to clean up his room so not so good How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera? No one lets poor Yuuri handle any form of machinery afraid he'd fall asleep How much do they work? What do they do? Do they enjoy it? Yuuri works both as a neuropsychologist and a master assassin, somewhat strange mix of jobs don't you think? But he enjoys what he does. What’s their “dream career” or job situation? Probably a high paid researcher How often are they home? Everyday Are they homebodies and enjoy being home? Except when his cousins are around Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are? Yuuri enjoys watercolor painting as a hobby. He's good enough to do commissions. What are some of their favorite things to do for recreation? How did they get into it? What part of it do they like the most? He likes to read, paint, sleep, play video games, and hang out with his friends. Would they enjoy a theme park? Not at all G. Family and Growing Up: Phillip Is your OC close to their family? Yes Who makes up your OC’s family, at least the more important members to them? Mothers Lillian and Rebecca Three year old Ainsley Boyfriend named Everan Does your OC find their family supportive? If not, what would be an example why not? Yes they are very supportive. What kind of childhood did your OC have? A happy and mostly laid back one. Did they go through any typical phases growing up? More just getting sick a lot, and he liked more typically feminine things growing up. Do they have any favorite childhood memories? When he got his cat. Do they have any childhood memories they’d rather forget or be less affected by? When said cat died. H. Romance and Intimacy : Anna What is your OC’s orientation, romantic and/or sexual? Has it ever been a source of stress for them? Have they always been pretty sure of their orientation? Asexual and Panromantic never really a source of stress though having to explain the difference can be annoying. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover? Yes. Does your OC believe there’s only one ideal partner (or multiple ideal if not monogamous) for everyone, or that there are many people who could be right? Depends on the person in question. Does your OC believe in love in first sight? A little bit but not a whole lot Does your OC believe in marriage (or their culture’s equivalent)? I mean she's married so yes? Has your OC ever cheated on anyone or been cheated on? Once by a girl in high school What do they look for in partners? (Emotionally, mentally, physically..) Kindness, intelligence, general nerdiness, slightly shy or reserved, respectful What’s your OC’s idea of a perfect date? Going out to dinner What are some things that your OC finds to be an instant turn-off in potential partners? No respect for boundaries. I. Food: Sarah What are their favorite kinds of flavors– Sweet, salty, sour, spicy, creamy, et cetera? Salty and creamy are favorites Do they have any eating requirements or preferences? Allergies, vegetarian, organic-only, religious restrictions… Sarah tends to avoid pork mostly but doesn't call herself kosher. Are they vegan/vegetarian (if their overall culture/species generally aren’t)? If so, why? Do they think animal products are wrong in all circumstances? Nope she likes steak way too much. How often do they cook? Do they order out a lot? Mostly the smiths cook or they go raid Lanis fridge. Are they a good cook? More of a good baker. Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly? They already do for the most part. J. Politics, Current Events, Environmental Aspects: Lanriael Where does your OC stand most politically? What would they align with most? How politically aware are they? More liberal and would likely be socialist. How politically active are they? Aside from being a double agent not very active at all. Is your OC the sort to fall for fake news? If not, do they ignore it or make a point to clarify that it’s wrong? They ignore it or make a point to clarify its wrong. Are they or would they protest for a cause they’re passionate about? Medical rights and freedom of the press are two big things How do they react to people whose political viewpoints are very opposite of theirs? Grin and bear it. How much interest in environmental health do they have? Recycle and turn off lights. In reality-based or applicable worlds, do they believe in global warming? Do they recycle? Global warming doesn't exist in their world. K. For OCs in Reality-Based Worlds Who Are Unusual in Paranormal Ways: Alarian (such as magical abilities, being another species, having a curse like lycanthropy, sci-fi abilities, being from another time, et cetera)– Also for OCs where the scenario is similar even if their universe isn’t based on reality Does your OC have to keep their paranormal aspect (PA) a secret from general society? If so, how? I.e., they can’t discuss their abilities, they have to hide a tail, they have an alter-ego, et cetera. What would happen if society found out about it? No they just do as they like screw anyone who disagrees. Are there others in their universe with the same or a similar PA as your OC? I.e., others from different dimensions, others of their same species. Do they know about it? There's the herald who is mildly similar and Solas who's Fen'harel but Ali's far more powerful than both of them. Does your OC have any friends who know about their PA? Any enemies? All their friends know and the inquisitor and commander noodle hair know too among other select enemies. Does your OC ever use their PA to get an advantage? I.e., use their ability to be invisible to steal or get out of things, compete in track while their species is a naturally superior runner, use their invulnerability in careers like police work… If so, do they have any hang-ups about it? Yes, they teleport to get away from enemies or if their bored and don't want to walk, they personally select and mark certain people for damnination, they get into arguments with the sky, and other antics of that sort. Does your OC feel isolated or unrelatable due to the experience their PA brings with it? If so, how do they deal with it? Yes but they think of it as something cool. Does their PA cause issues in daily life? I.e., if they’re inhuman in a human universe and they can’t go to a doctor or risk the doctor realizing they are not human, super abilities with physical drawbacks, they don’t have control of their abilities and must keep to themselves, et cetera… If so, how do they feel about it? No it doesn't usually cause issues. Does your OC’s PA affect their dietary habits so that they are unusual or problematic by their society’s standards? Nope. What are some routines, if any, of self-care that your OC must engage in that are not typical of their society? I.e., having to file their teeth, maintaining magical rituals, drinking blood… More just every so often check in with Liam and Emmie to see how things are going. Does your OC have knowledge that they can’t share with the rest of their world that could improve it if it didn’t cause chaos? I.e., a character from the future knowing about technology not yet invented, but they can’t reveal themselves by sharing it? More that they can take anyone they want with them when the world ends. Would your OC give up their PA if they could? Why or why not? Nope because being a messenger is hacking awesome. L. For the Writer/Owner How have your characters changed since you created them? Gotten darker, or dorkier and more well developed. What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any? GAYYYYYYSSSSSS… And angsty young adults Did you create the character to be like yourself, did they end up being like yourself, or are they very different from you? They are an even mix of likes and differents Would you hang out with your OC if you could? Definitely Which OC do you think is the most decent morally or behaviorally? Phillip he's the cinnamon roll Which OC do you think is the worst morally or behaviorally? AKA, which is supposed to a “good guy”? Marien is Satan and everyone knows it. Ali is the pure messed up angel...literally. Alarian is the good guy. Which OC do you think is the most attractive? Either Anna or Valan are both are pretty good looking AKA, which is supposed to be a “bad guy”? Definitely Marien. What’s the longest you’ve had an OC for? I think Valan was my first well developed one. How did you come up with your OC? I played Morrowind for the first time.