#like two whole gods as his patrons/guardians/proud grandparents

[gareleia]

EPIC THE KNITTING SAGA AU

update: my co-writer friend FINALLY got a tumblr account, so I can tag them now!!

next: part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

An AU my friend and I fleshed out a bit while chatting, where Athena and Hermes become Telemachus' god parents (pun intended)

first of all, the AU is called that cause Athena, as a goddess of arts and crafts as well as arts of war would totally knit socks and/or sweaters for Telemachus. I literally do not care that it's probably always too warm in Ithaca, it DOES HAPPEN and he PUTS THEM ON or ELSE

also, she's his great great auntie (cause hermes is the great great grandpa) DUH

and she would try to teach him crafts too, like:

Athena: think, Telemachus, think! Telemachus: BUT I CAN'T DO THIS STITCH

and then there's crying and Athena has to deal with it even though she's emotionally constipated and had definitely taught Odysseus some unhealthy coping mechanisms in his youth (and now she's forced to realize that, maybe Penelope even elaborates on it for her)

meanwhile, Hermes HATES being called grandpa (but secretly learns to enjoy it sometimes)

he's the type who teaches Telemachus all the "wrong" (read: fun) things in life, like talking to girls, playing pranks, lying out of his ass to get out of trouble, etc.

and then BOTH get in trouble with Athena, while Penelope just shakes her head at all of them.

Hermes obviously runs off, leaving Telemachus to deal with the scolding alone

Telemachus: hears giggling from behind a tree Telemachus: GRANDPA, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LEFT ME THERE! ( -`д´- ) Hermes: Awwww, now, now, champ! Don't you remember the first thing I ever taught you? Come on, gimme lesson number one! Telemachus, sighing heavily: 'Every man for himself'

Hermes gives Telemachus lessons on what Not To Do. And he gives those lessons hands on.

Hermes: I subscribe to practical learning!（´∀`）ｂ

And that's their go-to excuse for when Athena finds them

Telemachus: Heeeeey, Athena? Theoretically— Athena, already popping a vein: What. Did. You. Do? ༽◺_◿༼ Hermes, from the bushes, with tears in his eyes (probably from laughing): He's going to the run, run Angel~