#like trying to get them thru any kinds of tricks feels like dragging the game kicking screaming and it tries it’s hardest to make sure-

[siofra-river]

Finished all the h4 par times

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

More Than You Bargained For: The Party Timestamp

Summary: Jensen’s not too excited to be going to a party with the reader but she ends up making his night in another way...

Masterlist

Pairing: Ex-Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 2,400ish

Warnings: language

“Do I have to go?” groaned Jensen. He stood by the bottom of the stairs with a pout on his face, Jared snickering from the hall. “Shut it, Padalecki or I’ll make you go as her date.”

“Sorry but you are officially on bodyguard duty, Mr. Ackles. I got a hot date myself tonight,” said Jared. You sighed as you stepped down the stairs, Jensen smiling up at you. “Would you look at that? She’s not the most horrifying thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Kiss my ass, Jared,” you said with a smile.

“You look very beautiful,” said Jared.

“Gen picked it out,” you said with a wink. “Speaking of which, get out of here on your romantic weekend away. We got it from here.”

“Alright, I’m gone,” he said. “Call me in an emergency.”

“Goodnight, Jared,” said Jensen.

“Have fun guys,” said Jared, heading down the hall and out the front door. You smiled as you stood on the last step, fixing Jensen’s bowtie, giggling when he started to cross his eyes.

“What are you doing?” you asked.

“Do I have to?” he whined again. “I’ll give you all the sex and brownies you want? You like both of those things.”

“I do like both those things a lot, but I need a date and my other husband wasn’t available,” you teased.

“Had to marry a fucking famous person didn’t I,” he sighed. “Spoiled brat.”

“Asshole bodyguard,” you said, leaning up as he came down for a kiss. “I won’t tell anyone you’re actually sweeter than molasses.”

“Only if I don’t let it slip that you’re the hardest working, most amazing and kind person I’ve ever met and that your favorite fancy store is Target,” he said.

“I fucking love the shit out of that store,” you said.

“I know. You were there for three hours on Sunday. Toothpaste. I asked for one tube of toothpaste. You came home with three shirts, two throw pillows, a cookbook and a coffee mug. Oh, and no toothpaste,” he said, flashing you a smile.

“I went back and got it,” you said with a laugh. “What’s up with you? You’re extra nervous tonight. This isn’t the first time you’ve ever gone with me to an event.”

“S’first time since I was gone…” he said, glancing down at his wrist, a faded thin scar over the top of it. “I’m not the bodyguard anymore. I’m your husband. Your previously kidnapped husband. There’s going to be attention on me whether I want it or not.”

“I know,” you said softly. “All you have to do is stand there, smile and get your picture taken for two seconds. Alex will get you out of there and into the party like that, I promise. We already went over it.”

“Who’s going to be with you then?” he said.

“Jensen. I’ll be fine on my own for a little while. You being comfortable is what’s important to me,” you said. “Plus you know I can kick ass, even in heels.”

“Alright,” he said. You finished with his tie, smoothing out his jacket before you stepped onto the ground and into your heels. “Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” you said. You walked with him to the front door, spinning around and holding up a finger.

“Forget something?” he asked.

“Yup,” you said, opening your clutch and pulling out a strip of fabric.

“Whatcha doin’?” he asked.

“Trust me?” you asked. He nodded and you tied it over his eyes, Jensen smiling when you finished. “All set?”

“Sure...what are you up to?” he teased.

“Covert mission. Like some special ops level stuff. Don’t worry about it,” you said, grabbing his hand.

“Oh, do you get to be my bodyguard? I think I like that game,” he said, chuckling as you pulled him outside. “Dammit. Part of me really wishes you were going to drag me upstairs and have your way with me.”

“Don’t you worry, I’ll be sure to do that later on,” you said, kissing his cheek.

“You better,” he said. You got him in the passenger seat before you were off down the road, spotting Jensen touching his face out of the corner of your eye.

“Leave it, Jensen,” you said. “Don’t ruin the surprise.”

“I don’t like not knowing where we’re going,” he said.

“We’re going to the party,” you said. “There’s going to be a surprise when we get there. Can you keep it on for me, please?”

“Mhm,” he said. When you were stopped at a light, you reached over and held his hand, Jensen humming to himself.

About fifteen minutes later you pulled into a parking spot, helping Jensen out as you saw his ears perk up.

“No, no. No bodyguard mode, just enjoy the surprise,” you said.

“Fine,” he grumbled. He let you hold his arm as you led him into a building and down a hall, his head unable to help but turn and try to figure it out. You put him at a stop outside the room, leaning up to give him a kiss. “Alright, I think I could get use to this if you keep that up.”

“Down boy,” you laughed. “Alright, alright. I know you’re getting antsy.”

You reached up and undid his blindfold, Jensen looking around.

“Snuck me in the back to the party?” he teased. “I thought you wanted to show off your smokin’ hot husband.”

“Oh? Now he’s cocky,” you said. “I figured you’d like this better.”

“A little. I knew what I was getting into though when I married you. I can be the center of attention a little bit for you,” he said.

“I’m glad,” you said, more than glad he just assumed you were at another event and not actually in the back of his favorite restaurant. “Let’s head on in then.”

You smiled as he held your hand and you went for the pair of double doors leading to the event room you’d rented out.

“Happy birthday!” he was greeted with the second you opened the doors. He opened his mouth a few times before he spun to look at you, shaking his head.

“I knew you were being sneaky!” he said, biting his bottom lip. “I should have known.”

“You have no idea how hard it is to plan a surprise birthday party for you,” you said. “And actually surprise you.”

“There was definitely some covert ops going on,” said Jared, Gen right by his side. “We had a little help though.”

Jensen turned and saw a group of guys heading for him, his face in a big smile.

“No way! I thought you guys were overseas and-“

“And when your little wifey got a hold of us, of course we came. Not like we missed the wedding or any of the other shit that’s happened since,” said Mark.

“Did you really get stabbed by a serial killer?” asked Jason.

“I’m more curious how that sweet girl took the freak down and saved Ackles’ ass,” said Lyle.

“Oh? Is that what everyone thinks happen?” asked Jensen, cocking his head at you.

“S’what I remember,” you said with a smile.

“Of course it is,” he teased.

“Go, catch up with your friends,” you said, pushing him towards his special ops buddies, some of his teacher friends joining in. “I know it’s been a while, honey.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“So...should I be expecting this elaborate of a birthday party for myself?” asked Alex after you’d left Jensen’s parents somewhere by the food table.

“I’ll buy ya a happy meal at the drive thru if you get me an extra week off work,” you said. He chuckled, smirking as you both watched Jensen on the other side of the room. “Do you think he was actually surprised?”

“I think throwing him a surprise party two months after his birthday certainly threw him off. Hard to surprise a guy like that,” said Alex.

“Think he’s noticed I’m not drinking yet?” you asked, giving Alex a shy smile.

“He probably thinks you’re just being a good DD. When you going to tell him?” he asked.

“When we get home,” you said. “Think you’re ready to be an Uncle?”

“Eh, I dealt with your whiney little butt and Jensen. How hard’s a baby?” he said.

“Still dealing with my whiney little butt,” you said, leaning back in your chair.

“You never whined,” he said after a moment. You turned your head, Alex not looking at you. “You were just...afraid. Of a lot. Then you were just lonely and you chose a career that’s extremely lonely and why do you think I came to be your manager? To watch your back.”

“Dad told me that once,” you said quietly. “We had a fight over something stupid, you and me. I think I called him to vent and he revealed to me that you just said one day you were going to finish your degree online and be my manager and that was it. He told me to remember that whenever you drove me nuts.”

“Like when I tricked you into a bodyguard?” he teased. “Bet you love that decision now.”

“It made me feel small again,” you said, his face finding yours. “Jensen sort of terrified me he was so...he had me memorize like a hundred rules. I couldn’t get any privacy, it felt like he was watching me all the time...but his job was to do those things, not because he or anyone else wanted to control me. He was just keeping me safe.”

“On the bright side, he’s like a ball of fluff under the hard shell,” he said.

“Ain’t so hard nowadays. Someone else was a little lonely too,” you said. Jensen gave you a wave as he walked over before curling his finger at you.

“Mind if I steal this one?” asked Jensen, holding out a hand for you.

“Nah. I got a fiancé to go find and harass myself,” said Alex.

“I taught him so well,” teased Jensen, pulling you to your feet and over toward a quiet corner. “I haven’t seen you much tonight, my buddies have been hogging me. Must be what it feels like to be you.”

“Jens,” you said.

“Walk with me?” he asked. You hummed and followed him outside, finding yourselves out on the sidewalk, his pace slow. “So...something you want to tell me?”

“Seriously? How do you always do that? I bet the freaking doctors office gave it away. I swore I told them not to tell dad anything until I-“

“Dad?” he said, stopping in his tracks. You went wide eyed, a smile creeping onto his face. “Are...am I going to be a dad?”

“I bought cute little boots and everything to surprise you when we got home,” you said with a nod, Jensen throwing his arms around you. “Yeah, you’re a dad. Even if I totally ruined my own surprise.”

“A baby…” he said, smiling at your stomach. “Okay, I will admit I was surprised by the party and suspected you were planning something else tonight but this one takes the cake. How long have you known?”

“I found out earlier this week. I thought I was working too hard and that’s why I was late and then I remembered what we did on your actual birthday and...you did say you had a good feeling on it after all,” you said.

“Baby,” he said, tentatively reaching his hand out, your own grabbing it and giggling as he rested it against your stomach. “We made a baby.”

“Yeah, we did,” you said. “Are you happy?”

“More than,” he said back, running his thumb over your dress. “It’s just funny is all.”

“What is?” you asked.

“This is going to be the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life, which is saying something, but I can’t wait,” he said.

“You know I’m glad my brother hired a psychopath. Never would have found you,” you said.

“I can just hear you telling the story of how mom and dad met to this kid someday,” he laughed. “They’ll never believe it.”

“That’s a long ways away,” you said.

“Thank you, honey,” he said, pulling you into another hug. “I feel normal. You made me feel so normal again after everything that happened in my life.”

“Our lives are so not normal,” you said.

“Maybe they aren’t but you are and I am and we’re going to have a baby that has two good parents,” he said.

“Jensen?” you asked. He hummed, lightly spinning you around. “You want to go tell your family the good news?”

“In a minute. I want to remember this next time I have a not so great day,” he said.

“Okay, sweetie...Jens, there is another surprise actually,” you said, ducking your head down.

“What?” he asked, looking back but you turned his face to you.

“I had an ultrasound, it was eight weeks and all so…” you said.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Babies, Jensen. Babies,” you said. He tilted his head, looking down at your stomach.

“Bab...more than...two? Twins? We made…” he said.

“Twins,” you said with a smile. “I’m thinking one of each but it’s still early to be betting.”

“Two babies,” he said, shaking his head with a laugh.

“Actually triplets,” you said, his eyes wide. “I’m just messing with you. It’s twins.”

“You were two seconds away from me having a heart attack,” he said, taking a deep breath. “How the...screw it, we figured it out so far. We can do this too.”

“Well my brother knows but even he doesn’t know it’s twins if you want to one up everybody in there,” you said.

“Definitely,” he said, giving you a kiss. “Love you, princess.”

“Really?” you said, Jensen chuckling as he skirted away and you laughed, trying to throw your shoe at him. “Asshole! You know I hate that.”

“I love you too, princess!”

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura S2-S3

“If you had called me, I would have fixed it for you” Get u a man who wants to fix ur bike’s flat tires

“I wonder which teacher will be in charge of us this year” I’m going to hazard a guess that it’s the one that you keep having prophetic dreams about battling in the moonlight

“Ms. Mizuki is kind, is pretty and she makes me all dreamy” lmao @ this criteria for justifying whether ur sensei is up to no good

U know, Sakura melting like 10 feet of snow bc she lost a present from her crush is exactly the type of emotions I expect from these preteens

Syaoran liking Sakura is also very funny because she’s very observant of other people so it’s like [Syaoran blushing and glancing at Sakura] [Sakura glancing back in befuddlement]

“But when you do, it means you’ll see him as well” WILL U STOP THIS OMINOUS MOONSHADOWING 

Does EVERYTHING Mizuki says have to be some kind of prophecy

Syaoran is really just becoming progressively more infatuated and embarrassed with every scene

“You’re always watching over Sakura, aren’t you?” Tomoyo doesn’t need a voice to call people out LOL

You see this is exactly my point what is the reason for having a voice card if you have a song card or vice versa what’s your logic Clow

LMAO I SHOULD’VE KNOWN:

Sakura: Why r u both here

Toya: It’s Take Your Boyfriend to Work Day

“Sakura is cheerful as usual today” “That’s all she has going for her” Very older brother kind of statement

That shot of Syaoran showing his strawberries to Yukito (and Sakura, by extension) cutting to Toya, cutting to Ms. Mizuki.... the interpersonal dynamics at play here

“You know her from before, right?” THAT’S ONE WAY TO PUT IT

**Go to jail Mizuki

“I’ll tell you in a little while” Toya is not prepared to have discussion about his Relationship History at this time

I mean I’m not an expert but isn’t Sakura’s main magical item a key wouldn’t that help with this Lock situation

YFDHSKHFKJSHFK Mizuki could you be more threatening

I assume the wind will cover up the noise of this loud magical chant

“Don’t tell dad I have a fever” 😭😭😭😭😭 Sakura you’re so little someone needs to take care of you

“If I do [stay home], I’ll trouble everyone else” SAKURAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“It was about Sakura” TOYA’S BIG BROTHER MODE ACTIVATED

LOL TOYA’S SUSPICIOUS GLANCES ARE EVERYTHING JHDJKHFKJ HE CAN SENSE THE “GHOST” IN KERO

Well if the living plush toy didn’t give it away, the fact that Toya has already met and identified Mirror as a ghost will

Ddfhjkdhfkj Toya didn’t even pause he was just like [Sigh] ‘Guess I’m gonna feed a ghost now’

“I have a vague idea of what she’s up to” OH MY GOD TOYAAAAAA

Awww Meilin holding Sakura up to capture the Clow Card you know what that is? Growth

This kind of domestic shopping nonsense is the shenanigans I NEED

Syaoran is physically winded from running away from his feelings

OMG STOP THESE PRE-TEEN DREAMS ARE SO CORNY AND GREAT LMAO @ SYAORAN FANTASIZING ABOUT HIM AND SAKURA BEING THE LEADS IN A MOVIE TOGETHER WITH HIM GIVING THE CLOW CARDS AS A SUBSTITUTE FOR A WEDDING RING

Gljlgkdjlkgjlkf I still cannot believe they let 11-year-olds roam this freely they don’t need an adult to BOARD A TRAIN??

“They’re foretelling dreams” So if we believe this, here are the future facts:

1. Sakura’s gonna do a fashion show for Tomoyo 

2. Syaoran is going to give Sakura all the Clow Cards and maybe propose 

3. Yukito and Toya will definitely know Kero is a living creature and they’re gonna be chill with it

4. Normal battle prophecy stuff

“Seeing Ms. Mizuki... it makes me all dreamy”

*Sakura really only crushes on people that her older brother had feelings for first this is like when I was into Yugioh and Beyblade bc my brother was into them first 

**Go to jail Mizuki

“I don’t want to be the prince” Will u want to if it’s u and Sakura tho

This was pointed foreshadowing I could not have predicted

[Chanting] ALL DRAG FAIRSTYLES ALWAYS

“I just woke up” u LIAR Toya you wanted to make your baby sister breakfast

SYAORAN WHERE WERE YOU EVEN KEEPING THAT BIG OLE MAGICAL SWORD TASSLE

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS TEAMWORK COMBO ATTACK WE LOVE A PARTNERSHIP OF POWERS

“Isn’t that a guy playing the Queen” are you in any place to make a judgment Toya

“Please, seal us together” Light and Dark confirmed as Lesbian Icons

“The final decision rests with Yue, but please do your best” LMAO IS THE REASON THAT YUKITO IS ALWAYS CHILL HANGING OUT WITH HIS FIFTH GRADE BEST FRIENDS IS THAT HE IS SCOUTING THEM OUT FOR YUKITO’S NEXT DRAG SUPERHERO

U know if I did not have very hazy memories of who Yue is I could be tricked into thinking it was Mizuki lol (but then again TSUKIshiro soooooo maybe it’s obvious always lol)

“That bath sponge” “Kero is at Tomoyo’s house” ‘BATHSPONGE’ MEILIN PLS

AW rescuing lost birds turns out Syaoran has always been a sweetheart

Meilin finally gets to use her martial arts skills and help again!! Good for her

“I’m your fiancee until you find the girl you like the most” Not to put a damper on ur cousin marriage dream (stop) but that ship has sailed twice over Meilin 

“There’s another person” WELL WELL WELL HOW THE TURN TABLES MOON MAN

“Being with you is rather useful when capturing Clow Cards” is Syaoran’s way of saying “<3 <3 <3″

Syaoran is really conflicted bc he likes Yukito and he likes Sakura but when Sakura likes Yukito he wants her to like him instead this is truly a broad range of emotions for Fifth Grade Romance

Ddfjhdskfhk Kero looks so serious scouting out the intentions of the Toya’s Magical Exes Club but his face is like “>:[”

“You’re the one that uses the powers of the moon” What does this MEAN that’s supposed to be Yukito???? I am confused

“There’s no such thing as a coincidence...” “...There’s only inevitability” So now Toya’s joining the prophecy game? This is A Lot

Omg I do love the big lion version of Kero I forgot what he looked like

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIIIIIIIIIIIITCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Too lenient as always” “And your personality is as bad as always” I don’t think I care for Magical Yukito he’s being a little harsh

“He completely cuts all ties between his disguise and his consciousness, so that the candidate doesn’t sense him until the Last Judgment” so his subconscious just happened to feel like being a 17-year-old boy who wanted to date Sakura’s brother LOL

DON’T BE A BITCH YUE YOU’RE FIGHTING AN ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO PERCEIVES YOU AS SOMEONE SHE CARES ABOUT

Oh my god NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO FORGET WHO THEY LOVE

This is so fucked up kjhgkfhdg Sakura’s family forgetting her mother, Sakura and Toya forgetting Yukito, Tomoyo forgetting about caring about Sakura, Syaoran forgetting about caring about Sakura ahhhhhhhhhhh

WELL WELL WELL MS. MIZUKI CAME THRU THANKS WEIRDO

**Still jail tho

OH SHIT NEW MAGICAL STAFF I LOVE THIS AHHHHHHHHH

“I want you to be friends with me, nothing like Masters or stuff like that” SAKURAAAAAA

“You knew that Mr. Tsukishiro wasn’t a human” “Yeah” TOYA WHAT!!!

The fact that Yukito doesn’t know his other half is kind of a bitch has very Yami Bakura energy I can’t believe what I needed in my life was Yugioh but less Heterosexual

iii

“If you leave that early, Yuki won’t be there yet” So... is Toya just chill with the fact his boyfriend is the moon

I don’t want Syaoran to leave!!! He is a sweetheart and I love him

“He seems like a nice boy” is thiiis the rude boy I remember from watching this when I was a kid bc ngl I was confused when Syaoran was nice bc I remember someone being a little shit

“I didn’t mean to surprise you” said Eriol, after popping out suddenly from behind a tree

Syaoran said ‘I will only share Sakura’s affection with one (1) boy and that is Yukito’ 

“I’m not going back. I’ll be here for a while.” I can’t tell if this is a New Magical Person thing or a ‘I love my friends and don’t want them to forget me’ thing

DHJKGHKJHG this random girl just clinging to Toya’s back and eyeing Yukito like “WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT MISTER”

I guess since Meilin’s gone Nakuru’s going to fulfill the role of Unrequited Crush Gal Who Cannot Read The Emotional Room

Clow Reed really appearing to just throw Sakura’s entire life in disarray

“This is the first chance to film you in a while!” Tomoyo you have filmed Sakura going strawberry-picking and playing whack-a-mole since when do u need an excuse lmao

“I don’t think we made plans like that” again Toya since when do u and Yukito need plans aren’t you together like 22/7

Syaoran refuses to show Sakura that he’s feeling anything beyond blushing and yet he gets mad when other people are more forthright with their emotions and honestly what a teen mood

“I.. you” rude I can’t tell if Nakuru interrupted a love confession or a I Know You’re the Moon confession but either way rude 

“You don’t know? Then I’ll take him” WHAT DO U MEAANNN THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS

“Eriol is a kind person” [Thor meme voice] Is he though?

As much as the jury is still out on Yue I really do love these magical girl transformations

These group meet ups have gotten even less subtle you might be able to hide some cosplay and a plush toy but a full grown man and a lion with wings??? Gjkghkjdhgk how did they get to Penguin Park with no one noticing

There is some satisfaction in there finally being an adult (or at least a kind-of-18-year-old) on their team

Oh my god??? OH MY GOD? WHAT A POWER-UP I LOVE IT SAKURA GETTING HER OWN CHANTS AND CARDS GOOD FOR HERRRR

Poor Toya it’s worrisome when ur baby sis is a magical superhero

It’s interesting and hilarious that Yukito’s appetite is proportional to his alter ego’s use of magic

“Because she’s like you” Toya IS trying to tell Yuki that he’s a moon person awwwwwwww

If we’ve learned anything from Tomoyo’s choir recitals it’s just that perhaps singing is more dangerous than any of these kids would prefer it to be

Nakuru aside from the fact I’m pretty sure you’re a new Big Bad leave Toya alone he doesn’t want to be touched and he’s with someone already

I like that no matter how many times Yamazaki lies, Sakura always takes it in good faith

I have given up on this show having anyone have a normal relationship with their teacher (except Wei who has done nothing wrong ever in his life)

“I’m sure that the person you like is happy” shout-out to Tomoyo for being semi-well-adjusted I guess 

“The kid is being controlled by something” GUESS WHO JUST BOUGHT STRINGS FOR PUPPETS IT’S SUSPICIOUS NEW KID 

If I know my shojo manga tropes it seems like this Friend vs. Friend battle is going to lead to a Hug of Passionate Restraint

Psych it was a Hug of We Are Tired From Magical Force

Who are you British Bitch Boy with your Bitch Cat haven’t they been through enough

“I’m surprised you’ve held out this long without a single bite” do NOT eat TOYA

“And I’m not a human in the first place, so gender doesn’t really matter” I am so tired of anime creating non-binary characters only to make them evil and/or inhuman blah

I DON’T CARE FOR ANY OF THIS WE DON’T NEEEED AN EVIL ELEVEN-YEAR-OLD AND AN EVIL KERO AND AN EVIL YUE NOBODY ASKED

“Why did I buy this thing anyway” u know why Syaoran 

LMAO YUKITO DRINKING OUT OF A FULL SIZE MILK CARTON KILLS ME

“The only times I turn red or feel like my heart will explode is when I see him” Incredible it has taken Syaoran like... 18 episodes to realize his feelings for Sakura. Bisexuality be like that sometimes

SCREAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM DID YUE COME OUT JUST TO GIVE SYAORAN BACK HIS TEDDY BEAR

“The reason why you are confused when you see Yukito is because of the magic powers from the Moon that you feel from Yukito” did Yue just say ‘ur not bi ur just confused’ kjhkjdhdgkj Yue confirmed for biphobic

Really how many things does Eriol have to ruin before Sakura realizes he’s evil? The piano.... thread... a teddy bear

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SAKURA HAS WINGS IT’S A REAL MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION AFTER ALL

You know if Elementary School Clow is NOT evil this is a really fucked up way to be teaching a lesson

Toya come help ur boy Yukito is exhausted and he doesn’t know why :(

Ahhhhhhhh this tree leaning scene is the exact and only thing I remembered about the interactions between these two before watching this now

“I don’t want you to disappear” THE ROMANCE RETURNS

“Are you doing this on purpose” Toya has had it up to here with his confessions being interrupted

BOOO Toya was right I don’t want Yue-kito to disappear either

“There is someone suited to this, but Yukito...” KJHGKJDHGJHDKJ IS TOYA GONNA BECOME THE SOURCE OF YUE’S MAGICAL POWER I’D DIE

“You knew this would happen if you called Tomoyo” I mean... Kero’s right

I don’t know that Erase in particular was necessary for the sheep but it does make me giggle to see Sakura lift playground structures

I was gonna say I’d wager ten dollars something happens to that bike after Eriol touches it but then I remembered this episode is called “Sakura and the Panicky Bike” so it’s not really even worth betting

Of course your family members are going to worry if you suddenly develop magical narcolepsy Sakura 

I LOVE that Toya’s magical powers seem to be developing more as well

I feel like not enough people are giving Sakura credit for the fact she is like 11? She hasn’t had a lot of time to work on this stuff

“I can’t let [the cards becoming ordinary] happen! I finally got to be friends with all of them” 😭😭😭😭😭 Sakura’s good heart always gets me

“What are you going to do?” SHE’S GONNA PUT HERSELF IN A MAGICAL COMA 

Cell phones are a hilarious addition to the plot and I love that they are like top of the line bc it’s the 90s lmao and that Li is include in the phone tree 

“If you collapse, I’ll catch you” KERO NO. 1 SAKURA STAN (tied with Tomoyo and Syaoran)

Lmao these siblings would be born on a Leap Day and April Fool’s respectively

SCREAM at least it’s on brand for Eriol to be a pathological liar (also RIP Sakura and Syaoran for their gullibility still)

TOYA PLAYING HIS MOTHER’S SONG REST IN PIECES MY HEART

Sdkhkhkjdhkd Toya failed confession count: 4 this time feat emotional piano ballad

Also also I will say it’s not like Yuki doesn’t come to your house VERY frequently Toya couldn’t you just tell him what you need to say the numerous times he is visiting or going with you to school

Oh hey! I share a birthday with Sakura’s great-grandfather that’s funny

“Nadeshiko was only 16 years old” YEAH SO WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING GRANDPA UR NOT THE ONE TRYING TO DATE TEENS U R TEACHING

I know Kero being seen on the TV is for giggles but the implication that magic makes you playable on VCR... incredible

I want to know what Toya’s gift was!!! 

Hahaha I guess that the Alice and Wonderland size-shifting would have more of an impact on Sakura’s empathy than most people 

“Two-thirds of all cats on earth right now are aliens” I mean... if we go by the cats we have met in this show.... Yamazaki’s right

“Actually, I have a rather mischievous personality” NO KIDDING ERIOL

“Where are you going” “To where the queen is” I will DIE if the Queen is Toya but I assume the Queen of Hearts will be Sakura’s mother actually since that’s the kind of anime trope that u should expect

Yue dropping Sakura like a hot potato is a little funny he can stay 

What is more ridiculous Syaoran hiding the sword behind his back or the fact it worked

“Then... it’s not Yukito?” that was one whole crush ago keep up Sakura

“I am the Queen” WELL THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING AT ALL KJFHGKJHGJHGJKFHG

Current list of things that Eriol has ruined: Pianos, threads, teddy bears, sheep plushies, bikes, leaves, 

The transition to Eriol’s deep adult voice always trips me up

“Don’t hug me” “I’m going to hug you” Respect! Toya’s! Boundaries! Nakuru!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL @ Spinel’s drunken tirades I won’t lie I love this erratic behaviour

Guess Syaoran is over his Yukito crush for real but boy cannot stop running away from his feelings for Sakura poor guy

AWWWW THIS TEDDY BEAR MONTAGE OF SYAORAN BEING AT PEACE WITH HOW HE FEELS NOW

LMAO DID ERIOL JUST TRAP THESE TWO IN AN ELEVATOR TO WORK OUT THEIR INTERPERSONAL PROBLEMS THIS SHOW IS IN SUCH A WEIRD EMOTIONAL PLACE

“I’m glad for you,” said Eriol/Clow, who has repeatedly mildly traumatized these kids but seems to be like ‘it all evens out if I do some preteen matchmaking’

“Hey, can I call you Syaoran too?” Awwwwwwwwwwww that’s cute also it’s wild that in the pacing of this show despite like probably at least thirty episodes of them being friends THIS is the first ep (Ep 57!!!) that they address each other by first name

HJGJHGDHGFHJG AMAZING HOW IS SAKURA GOING TO HIDE A FULL GROWN MAN (WHO SHARES A BODY WITH THE PERSONALITY HER BROTHER LIKES!) AND A WINGED LION IN HER BEDROOM

OHJFKJSDHFKJSHDKJFHKJHFKJHKJHDKJHF I CANNOT CONVEY THE COMEDY OF THIS MOMENT IN WORDS SO:

“So that even if [my dad] was reincarnated, he would still fall in love with [my mom]” Interesting reveal that Yue was actually in love with Clow (makes sense; he’s the ‘I’m gay I’m homophobic we exist’ meme) but the only romance I will accept for Yue is if he ends up in a Greedlingfan-esque triad with Yukito and Toya and that’s that on that

Poor Yukito he must think he’s going nuts he just appears places with no memories 

Well this is hardly a fair match up Syaoran can’t be expected compete with a reincarnated ancient wizard

GOOOOOD WHY DOES ERIOL DELIVER HIS CRYPTIC MESSAGES OF ADVICE THROUGH SPORTS GAMES

“It feels more like [Eriol] is watching over someone very dear to him” Tomoyo correctly discerns that Eriol is the bearer of fucked up magic lessons

Wow Tomoyo is really here to talk Syaoran through a whole journey of emotions 

“I.. you...” OH MY GOD SYAORAN AND TOYA START THEIR CONFESSIONS IN THE SAME WAY JHHJSGFDSGJH WOW 

It’s okay Syaoran you did your best no one in your immediate social group can finish a confession it seems

“You were trying so hard so hard to confess your love for Sakura last night” Tomoyo really doesn’t pull any punches when it comes to her romantic pep talks huh

Awww Syaoran wants to tell Meilin how he feels about Sakura first 

Uh oh post-battle Meilin has taken note of Syaoran and Sakura’s use of each other’s first names

“If something happens, please think of me” AWWW Tomoyo looking out for Meilin’s feelings that’s my girl

“What makes me even madder is that I still can’t grow to hate Ms. Kinomoto” awww Meilin  

“You’re a tardy little monster” suspicious Toya is one of the best parts of this show   

The fact that Sakura doesn’t think Toya knows because he’s not making fun of her... tru sibling energy

Failed confession count: 

Toya: 5...6

Syaoran: 2

TOYA IS SUCH A SWEETHEART BUYING PRESENTS FOR THE CARD THAT PROTECTS SAKURA AHHHHHHHHH AND OMG HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT MIRROR LOOKS LIKE

Sakura loves the cards and the cards love her I love one (1) Cardcaptor

“But now, he helps me out a lot” “That’s why I don’t like him” AWWW TOYA 

“I will see you again in your dreams tonight” could you be a bit less creepy Eriol

OH NO CURSE OF THE DISAPPEARING BOYFRIEND TOYA YOU GOTTA HUG THE MAGIC BACK INTO YUKI

Tomoyo is an impeccable wingman for Syaoran she has had his back at every step

WE LOVE A POOL PARTY EP YEEHAW 

"I don’t ever want you to disappear” Toya’s declarations are getting more passionate with each failed confession (also I see that when he grabs Yuki’s wrist he stops fading)

“If you use magic in here, you don’t know who might see you” so they’ll notice her hiding behind a half rock wall but somehow a glowing waterslide will escape their notice???

“If Sakura had used her card any later than when she did, you were going to stop your magic” I feel like that is the LEAST Eriol could do

“Do you dislike swimming now” OH HOW NICE TO CHECK IN WITH RIKA AFTER YOU ALMOST DROWN HER

“You’re just lacking experience now. I’m sure that you will be able to do it. Skiing... and other things.” “You said that before! What does that MEAN” Syaoran is tired of Eriol’s Cryptic Sports Advice too

Dghgfjdgfjhg Sakura crossing herself in preparation for hearing a scary story lmao

Current failed confession counts:

Toya: 7

Syaoran: 3

Eriol confirms he will not kill preteens in an avalanche just to teach them magic I guess they had to draw the line somewhere

“I know the truth... that in reality you are...” Does it count as a failed confession if it’s for a scene?? Also are they the leads of this student film bc if so wow

“I know what’s really going on. That you are...” Well we’re definitely up to 8 now

:(((((((((((( It really hurts Toya to see Yukito like this SAVE HIIIIIIIIM

“At this rate, Toya’s important thing will be taken away” like what his love virginity LMAO

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT’S HAPPENING THE FACE TOUCHING THE REVEAL HFDUHFKJHFJDHFKJHDJGHJKHGJHG

“If I don’t see you, I can’t give you what I want to give you” a kiss?? LOL

“I want you to protect Sakura, and also protect yourself” OH OH OH 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOYA YOU’RE SO SELF-SACRIFICING THIS IS SO SWEET U WANT TO PROTECT UR SISTER AND THE LOVE OF UR LIFE SO UR GIVING UP SOMETHING THAT’S A PART OF YOU THE MELANCHOLY THE INTIMACY I’M WEEPING

“It’s obvious that you, a child, can’t support all of it” Ahhhhhhhhhh so many reveals at once poor Sakura, Toya was only helping

In truth I did not think the power exchange would happen all at once I thought it would be like recurring boyfriend whack-a-mole:

Yukito, sleepy: I’m off to battle

Toya: K bye Yuki [intimate embrace]

Yue: [Catches sleepy Toya]

“I want Yukito to know my true feelings” I mean I’m gonna tell you right now Sakura I think he’s in love with your brother and also you’re like 11 but u do u I guess

“It doesn’t matter what you are. As long as you don’t disappear and are at my side, I don’t care about anything else” Toya ur so romantic

“I’m all right. Just a little sleepy.” Oh how the narcolepsy turntables.....

I know all I want to talk about is Toya right now but he is so PATIENT and GENTLE with his sister’s feelings god

“But the person that you like the most isn’t me, Sakura” why do both halves of Yukito feel the need to moonsplain people’s feelings to them jkhfgkjjhfjhfjkh

HAHAHAH I was wondering how Yuki was going to handle this preteen love confession and he just went ‘No. Family-zoned.’

“You realized this because you have someone you like the most as well, Yukito?” 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

“Is it my big brother?” “Yeah, it is” AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Though I think that Toya is my number one, I’m not sure of his feelings” HE GAVE UP HIS MAGICAL POWERS FOR YOU TO BE AROUND HIM FOREVER YUKITO HOW MUCH MORE REASSURANCE DO YOU NEED

Omg the vowing to yell at each other’s future boyfriends khkdhfkdhfs I love this friendship good for them 

Eriol really DOES trap people in enclosed spaces to work out their interpersonal problems this reincarnated 11-year-old relationship therapist my god

“But if I cry or make a sad face, I’m sure Yukito would be troubled” poor sad Sakura but also I’m kind of glad she didn’t abide by Yukito like... telling her how she felt? It would’ve felt a little insincere to walk ALL of it back but I think she was mostly doing it so Yukito and Toya could be together in peace

“It’s all right. I’m sure you will find him” SYAORAAAAAAAAAAANNN

Awww Syaoran is so happy about this Grand Gesture scarf <33333333

“I knew that Sakura’s feelings for me weren’t completely the same as her feelings for her father... But I can’t delay her finding her true number one because of her feelings towards me” no shit Yuki but also maybe it was an okay call it gave Sakura a simple out

Toya’s gentle head touch as he gives Yukito reassurance aaaaaah

“He’s going to steal away something that I’ve been cherishing all this time” this is Toya’s weird way of saying he gives Syaoran and Sakura his blessing lol (lot of these blessing going around lately)

Toya’s love language is touching Yuki somewhere from the shoulders up

“I feel like he’s still alive and he’ll come to make fun of us at any moment” ur not wrong Kero

“But I’m still not you, Mr. Clow” U JUST BE URSELF SAKURA!!

What we have learned from this trip to the past so far is that Mr. Clow has always loved to give people cryptic messages and then disappear

I DID NOT EXPECT A MONTAGE OF BLOOMING FLOWERS TO BE WHAT MADE ME SHED A TEAR IN THIS ANIME BUT THE SYMBOLISM - CLOW’S WORDS - SAKURA UR SO GOOD THIS IS A NICE SHOW

“It’s Clow Reed’s fault,” said Clow Reed, eleven years old, about himself

“Why did he have to trouble Sakura so much?!” Kero said FRIENDSHIP ENDED WITH CLOW REED SAKURA IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND

I appreciate that Yue was like, ‘Gotta bring Toya with me to the battle I can’t just leave him in the street’ 

Sidenote: What made them start running in the first place was it the loss of light or was it just Yukito/Yue going ‘MY SAKURA SENSES ARE TINGLING’

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FINAL BATTLE KERO VS. SPINNEL, YUE VS. RUBY MOON, SAKURA VS. CLOW???

OH SHIT TRANSFORMING EIGHT CARDS AT ONCE WHAT A POWER UP 

Make that six cards but STILL

“Light and Dark are the first cards under our jurisdiction” I AM RIVETED 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

SCREAM THE TEAM SUN MOON STARS GROUP HUG MY CHEST WILL BURST

OH FINAL WAND!!!!!!!!! MAGICAL FRIENDS EDITION

SYAORAN HELPING HER TRANSFORM THE CARDS TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAMWORK

“We are friends with you, right Sakura?” KEROOOOOOOO YUEEEEEEEEE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

“I like you” [Cut to classroom] Oh awkward seems like Sakura kind of verbally left Syaoran on read for that one

“Wouldn’t conversation be more pleasant when there are tasty sweets around” Sdfhkjshfkjshfkj unbelievable Eriol-Clow wants to have his final words of wisdom delivered via tea party

“There were a couple of things that happened that weren’t expected by myself or Clow Reed” LOL he means Syaoran and Sakura and also probably Yukito and Toya jhjhdfjkh fair it’s just the never-ending charisma of these siblings 

Oh hey Ms. Mizuki what are you doing at this weird tea party (go to jail)

If Mizuki was in college when she met him he was what???? A baby??? How old ARE you Eriol

“You’re not going inside, Yue?” I was WONDERING why Yue wasn’t part of this ridiculous gathering lmao

“But I can talk of old memories... If it suits your fancy, I will talk whenever you want me to” Ahh Eriol trying to provide Yue some closure 😬

WOW ERIOL EXPLICITLY EXPLAINING THAT HE DID NOT EXPECT THE ROMANTIC DYNAMICS AT PLAY JDHJHFDGHKDHGKHDKFJ 

Omggg Sakura created a new card for Syaoran ahhhh they’re really very cute

“That bear... Can I have it?” The way these confessions were written is really VERY GOOD

What a WEIRD SHOW but u know it did something to my heart 

[zambie-trashart]

Flirting With Disaster pt4

Phanfic Masterlist

“Are we done yet?” Alex asked walking behind Carrie at a store feet dragging.

“Do you want to win or not?” Carrie asked and Alex sighed. “That’s what I thought, now for the choreography, let’s back to my place the girls should be there by now,” Carrie said grabbing Alex’s hand dragging him back to her car.

Alex looked at the group of girls and they stared back with cold eyes before smiling at him and running up giving him a group hug making Alex let out a sigh of relief.

“Alright Alex, let’s do this,” Carrie said before starting to teach the choreography to him. “Five, six, seven, eight!”

Reggie and Luke stood in front of Julie’s bed as she told them about their “performance” that night.

“You’re telling us this now?” Luke asked starting to panic.

“Yeah, you guys have been too busy messing with Alex to even consider that we should keep planning event,” Julie said and the two looked down.

“If you’re trying to trick us that would be really cruel Julie,” Luke said and his eyes caught the score board. “You’re counting the stuff that Alex does?” Luke asked looking at how high his points were.

“He has sixteen points?” Reggie asked a little shocked.

“Yeah, and he has no idea about the game, isn’t that hilarious,” Julie said laughing at the boys who’s mouths dropped. “We should get to the venue,” Julie added checking her phone reading Carrie’s text.

Alex stood at Willie’s normal skating spot hands shoved in his pockets looking around. Willie skated in his direction not looking where he was going. “Willie!” Alex yelled and Willie stopped right in front of him. Willie smiled, that’s three. “What’s up with you, you almost ran me over?” Alex asked worry filling his eyes.

“I-I don’t wanna talk about it,” Willie said sitting down on a curb.

“Ok, we don’t have to talk but can you do me a favor?” Alex asked giving Willie a pleading look.

“Anything,” Willie said smile returning to his face and Alex looked down cheeks burning. One.

“Well, the band is performing tonight and I want you to be there,” Alex said looking back up and Willie grabbed Alex’s shoulder squeezing slightly.

“I’ll be there, what time?” Willie asked and Alex sighed in relief.

“Seven,” Alex said and Willie got up holding his hands out for Alex to take.

“I’ll see you then,” Willie said poofing off and Alex took a deep breath this was a lot, this was hard, Luke and Reggie were one thing but Willie is a whole different ballpark, at least his bandmates were somewhat predictable, Willie was a wildcard and Alex had no idea how he was going to react tonight. The sound of a car shook him out of his thoughts, Carrie was sitting in a convertible resting her head on her hand staring at Alex.

“I get why the boys are doing this, it’s kind of interesting to see you just stand there trying to process everything, it takes a bit but it’s still kind of funny,” Carrie said smiling as Alex opened the car door rolling his eyes.

“You’re so funny Carrie,” Alex said buckling his seat belt.

“I know.” The car drove right to the cafe and Carrie grabbed Alex’s hand walking backstage to start getting his ready for the show.

Luke, Reggie, Willie, and Julie all stood in the audience and Flynn hid near the stage wanting to give Alex her full support. Luke looked over at Willie who was standing in the way back.

“Something’s up,” Luke said to Reggie looking over to Willie who was looking right back at them. Luke and Reggie walked over to him. “What are you doing here?” Luke asked and Willie looked at them in confusion.

“Alex invited me, he said you guys were performing tonight, speaking of Alex, where is he?” Willie asked looking around.

“No idea, Julie said he was running late which is weird cause he never runs late,” Luke said starting to look around too.

Carrie walked onto the stage flipping her pink hair back. “Hey guys, we’re Dirty Candy and tonight we have a special guest performing with us, he is a part of the hologram band Julie and the Phantoms and he has agreed to dance with us tonight, let’s all have a good time!” Carrie announced to the audience who clapped whooping.

“That’s not good,” Luke said. “Alex already has sixteen points according to Julie, we can’t let this beat us,” Luke said pulling Reggie and Willie out of the cafe to look through the windows.

The beat started Alex and Carrie singing together and dancing looking good while doing it. The thing that got the guys the most was a white see thru shirt, hot pink ripped jeans, and a touch of makeup.

“Stay strong guys, we can’t give him any more points, this was obviously a trap,” Luke said holding Reggie and Willie’s shoulders squeezing hard. The group hit their final pose and the three walked back in clapping in the back.

“We have to try and get him flustered, at this point we have to work together,” Luke said turning around but Willie was already gone and talking to Alex hand on his shoulder turning him into a tomato and trying to rack up points for himself.

“We should get over there,” Reggie said pointing and poofing over leaving Luke to stand there thinking.

“Is this game even worth it if Alex finds out? He’s going to think that we don’t love him even though it’s clear that we all do,” Luke said to himself watching Reggie and Willie get a few more points. Willie got pulled away by Julie and Flynn started talking to Reggie leaving Alex alone Luke took that as a sign and ran up to him grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the cafe.

“Hey, where are we going?” Alex asked as Luke led him up to the roof. He could see the stars and black slightly cloudy sky.

“I don’t know if you know this yet but you mean a lot to me Alex, you really mean a lot to all of us,” Luke said taking Alex’s hand.

“Yeah, I figured that. Why are you telling me this now?” Alex asked looking down at his hand in Luke’s feeling his heart beat faster and face flush.

“Cause, I don’t like it when you hang out with Reggie and Willie, Reggie’s our friend and our bandmate sure but when I saw you guys this morning it hurt and I didn’t know why until now Alex,” Luke said grabbing Alex’s other hand. Alex felt tears in his eyes his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, if Luke said this then there was no going back.

“What didn’t you know?” Alex asked palms sweating.

“I-I think I like you,” Luke said and Alex dropped his hands turning around face getting redder by the second and starting to pace.

“You,” Alex said pointing at Luke. “You like me?” Alex asked pointing at himself still pacing.

“Yeah, I do,” Luke said and he grabbed Alex’s shoulder stopping him. “It’s ok that you can’t answer now but I knew if I didn’t get it out now I never would, so please just think about it you can tell me if you like me or not whenever you’re ready,” Luke said letting go of Alex who started pacing again. Luke looked back as he started walking back down to the cafe, he was tied with Alex now but at what cost, he just admitted to Alex his true feelings and that was something that he would have to deal with in one way or another.

Willie poofed up to Alex who was still pacing, he tapped Alex on the shoulder making the blonde scream in shock. Alex ran down the stairs running a hand through his hair. It was too hard to look at Willie or even Reggie for that matter, what if Reggie liked him too, that would be too much to deal with but did he have a choice?

...............................

Everybody is all tied up who will win?

[needforspeednolimitsguide-blog]

Need for Speed No Limits Cheats

Need for Speed No Limits Guide

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Your rides are waiting - take them to the streets to go head-to-head with the competition and prove yourself. Steer onto the streets of blackridge, accelerate over jumps and around debris, into traffic, against walls, and through high-speed nitro zones. Flip on the nitrous and thrust yourself into another level of adrenaline-fueled driving and drifting. Around every corner is a fresh race as you clash with local crews and local cops. It's a world full of wannabe drivers - can you stay in front and earn respect?

[gulescamisade]

Minnesota:  Day 7

[At some point during the night, or day -- it'd be indistinguishable to jake -- a voice speaks to him over an intercom.] ????: hey jami 2.0 u think u can do that pumpkin trick again?

JAKE: -snoring in a bed made of pumpkin patch on the ground. As an unfamiliar voice echoes overhead, he snorts awake. Jolting upwards with leaves in his hair. Also accidentally summoning 3 more pumpkins as he had fallen asleep practicing and all.-

JAKE: Hoosit?? -blink blink. He's AWAKE.-

????: eelmao

????: conchgrats buoy u did it

????: cept i kno u aint even got a grip on whatebber the fuck u doin

????: but i dont need u to

JAKE: -sitting there mouthing the words like eel-aye-em-oh and squinting. He feels... inexplicably chilled to the bone.-

JAKE: (Doh... now i have a bad feeling about this.)

JAKE: I dont suppose... this is all to do with a ploy to get some unmentionable dirty work dished out and done with? But why speak to me now?? Are you to level with me in some sense of the word???

JAKE: Why drag it out like this??? If you could do anything. Why not make me a mindless drone like dear sweet jade and jane?????

)(IC: cuz i dont wanna fuck w u small fry

)(IC: the gills are smart

)(IC: they aint barely need no direction

)(IC: give em a goal and they on cuz they know what the fuck is up

)(IC: u tho? alwaves wadin thru ur lil guppy emoceans

)(IC: makin some dumb ass pumpkins grow

)(IC: the fuck even is that

)(IC: do u even know what yoar capable of sonfish

JAKE: -takes the deepest breath of his life, his heart thudding like an iron clad weight. He can't see her face, he only knows her voice is there. Green eyes wide and fearful as he slowly rises to stand.- Im...

JAKE: I know somehow. Some way.

JAKE: Maybe it wont happen today or tomorrow. But my capabilities say that you are going to pay one pretty penny for the horrible things youve done.

JAKE: Mark my words. Its not me who should be afraid when at the end of all of this... -His face is now screwing up, visualizing everyone this war has ruined. Their wishes, hopes, dreams. The energy seems to charge in his veins, making the air around him hot enough that the pumpkin vines at his feet begin to shrivel.- At the end of all of this....

JAKE: Youre just going to be a scary story people tell their kiddos at night!!!!! A LAUGHING STOCK. HAH. Worse than me and ive never had a dignified moment in my fucking life!!!! And not a SOUL is going to be sorry youre GONE.

JAKE: SO FUCK WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE IN STORE FOR ME YOU FISH FRIED CURISH VARLOT!!!! FUCK IT THIS WAY AND TO HIGH HELL WHEN ITS WHAT I HAVE IN STORE FOR YOU THATLL BE WHATS FUCKING WHAT.

JAKE: Ill do it for jade! And jane and grandma and--- EVERYONE. Everyone youve fucking ruined with your vile reign of TYRANNY!!!!!! -This FIELD around Jake cannot be contained in this box of a room. Hell. The metal walls are beginning to bend with just these few seconds of intensity. Somebody do somethin'.-

)(IC: -LOW WHISTLE into her mic. she doesn't sound perturbed by his threats, or even by the damage he's doing. there's always more rooms she can put him in... maybe even make his lil friend roxy make him a nice box to hide in. she's definitely got more focus then this one...-

)(IC: im all aboat that reel glowy shit u got goin there

)(IC: but i know i can werk it betta

)(IC: anywave im board and i got shit to do

)(IC: goodnight BITC)(

[SNOP. Unfortunately for Jake, repressing magical/emotional outbursts is easy when she has the concentrated abilities of a cerulean at her disposal. But fortunately for him, she can only really put him to sleep, being a human and all... Also fortunately for him, she has the attention span of a gold fish and intends to let him dangle a little bit longer before experimenting on him as she intends to... Or maybe she's just having fun with him. Who knows.]

JAKE: -A lot of fortunates and a lot of unfortunates. It's always the seed of belief that matters.-

JAKE: -Passes clean out in the center of his cell, totally ready to write this off as some kind of fever dream... if it's not for the melty edges of the walls around him. This was exciting as it was frustrating.-

---

[Today when Jake wakes up, he will find himself redressed in tiny red shorts, red suspenders, and a big red bow tie. ur whalecum jami 2.0 ]

JAKE: -stirs awake before promptly looking down at himself.- ................................... SON OF A BITCH.

ROXY: =She couldn't help but to notice that Jake had gone missing. Which is unsettling for many reasons so she's taking a leap and exploring more even without the invisibility cloak from the void. Roxy blips out of her room, landing in the hallway and silently makes her way down it. Time to snoop!=

[It's quiet in these holding chambers with Jake and the Cherubs gone, leaving on Roxy and James who is presumably still keeping silent. At the end of the hall there is a door, and she'll find it isn't locked.](edited)

ROXY: =WHERES CALLI YOU MONSTERS?? SHE'LL FIND YA CALLI. She opens the door slowly and peeps in... if the coast is clear here comes a stinky, sweaty escaped prisoner. Where's your information?=

[The door opens up to an open room, on either side there are windows show casing labratories of some kind. It isn't entirely clear what kind of work is being done in them from where Roxy is standing. At the end of the room there's another door, but shee can also see more doors inside the labs.]

ROXY: =Hm.... can she see computers in there? She decides to get close to one window and peer in. Nerds might be at work in there...=

[There's definitely computers and lots of mechanical equipment and various tech projects half completed on the tables. The lights are low right now so there doesn't seem to be anybody working at this time.]

ROXY: =SCORE. She doesn't want to waste all her gas there has to be a way to get in there..... maybe this door at the end of the room will get her where she's going. Quietly scampers=

[This door is also open, CONVENIENTLY. It leads to another hall, and to either side of where Roxy stands are, presumably, the doors to the labs.]

ROXY: =BITCHIN, HERE COMES HER. Lab number one she's gonna prob ya! KICKS DOWN THE DOOR..... quietly. With her hand=

[As she enters, the lights TURN ON!! And that's about the extend of what happens there. She'll see all the computers have aquarium screen savers but all the fish are glittery and/or have blingee'd accessories like gold chains and shutter shades.]

ROXY: 😒

ROXY: =This is a lab so she sprays disinfectant on the computer before goin to HACK=

[It just so happens that whoever used this computer last forgot to log out of their account... They have photoshop open and there are photos of Jake. He's in red booty shorts and suspenders and he's lookin' like D8< but whoever was doing this photoshop job is trying to make him look a little happier... Like he's cheering instead of like he's about to punch the photographer in the face.]

ROXY: =Oh well shit..... oh. Well.. she. Snrk. Sorry but also ok. Where was this taken? Does it say anything about that? WHERE'S JAKE YOU COMPUTER=

[Without much looking she will first find a folder full of unedited photos of Jake from his new cell. Dank and dreary, much worse then the cells they were in before. Only a bed and a medical tray table. Another folder with the edited photos reveals these are being used for magazine covers and spreads. It seems Jake is being used as Crocker Corps POSTER BOY. Look at this well fed and obedient (?) human.]

ROXY: =OH HOW DARE!? Are there any OTHER people here computer? Like Dirk or Mom or ANYONE ELSE? WHO ALL AM HERE?=

[The computer thinks Roxy expects too much from it. At least from this account on the server. It's only been used by a humble tech intern who edits pictures in photoshop. His name is Maxwell.]

ROXY: =What a fuckin nerd Maxwell is can she HACK to find out... or would that take too much time.... it probably would so she legs it to the other lab=

[The other lab has lots of cabinets and coolers containing samples of various things... Some of which she might recognize as GLOWING MUSHROOMS and ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER. The kind of research they do in here might be a little more obvious...]

ROXY: =Finally putting Sweet-n-low out of business she sees, good. But she's scrunching up her nose and looking for anything useful or recent? =

[Or perhaps they were behind the Sweet-n-Low game all along! In any case, if she dares to try confiscate some of the mushrooms or any of the extracts lying around, she might be able to try using it for its hypnotic properties. Otherwise, there's mostly just experiments with food and chemicals being done in this lab. Sadly no clues of friends.]

ROXY: =God dammit. Well shucks she blows this popsicle stand and goes on a hunt for Jakey boy or Calliope!=

[Back in the hall, on the other side there's yet another door but it's more heavily sealed then the others with some kind of keycard lock, but with little indication of what's on the other side. At the very end of the hall is an elevator, also requiring keycard access to use.]

ROXY: =this might be where its unavoidable. UNA-VOID-ABLE. She bets this heavily sealed door is something GOOD. She's going to take a quick peek in there if she can poof in!=

[There's a growling around these hallways... sounds like something or someone might be prowling around.]

[The room Roxy has poofed into seems to be some kind of observation room. There's a couple screens on one wall with a panel beneath -- one screen is showing the room Jake is being held in (where he's either sleeping among his pumpkin patch or being rowdy...) while the other screen is shut off.]

ROXY: =zoinks! Growls are bad news. She hurries and tries to see if she can turn on the other screen or find where exactly the room holding Jake is? GO GO GADGET STUBBY FINGERS=

[MAIN SCREEN TURN ON. She manages to get the other screen running, but it's only showing an empty room with a bed... With unsettling stains of red and green on the sheets.]

ROXY: ..... =Bruh tf?? She squints and that can only mean bad news. Does it say where these cameras ARE? She should make her way downtown and quickly!=

JADE: -zaps into the room- BARK!!!

ROXY: !!! =JUMPS= FUCKIN'--- oop.....

ROXY: ..................

ROXY: ..................

ROXY: ...........

ROXY: this isnt the bathroom wtf

JADE: -LUNGES AT HER!!!-(edited)

ROXY: !! =BLIPS, or tries to back for the door. tHESE ARE SOME STRESSFUL SECONDS IN THE VOID=

JADE: -gdi. She claws around the empty space, growling.- ill find you!!!

ROXY: =She pops on the other side of the door really and is booking it down the hall, back the way she came. NAH. NNNNNAAAAAHHHHH=

JADE: -there's the sound of BOOFing and scrambling feet behind her-

ROXY: =fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck, what to do, gotta think gotta think gotta think. Where can she hide? She doesn't KNOW this place. UUGHHHHHHHH! She's doing her BEST here just, SLAPS a pen holder off a desk she runs by FUCK THIS SHIT, YEET!=

JADE: -BORK BORK BORK BORK!! The pen holder jostles her, but not enough to stop her. RIP pen assortment...-

ROXY: =Can she.... throw a stick??? BLIP, pops a stick into existence. A SNAUSAGE STICK chucks it down the opposite hall= FETCh!

JADE: -DAMN IT. HER WEAKNESS.-

JADE: -stops and grrs... her programming is conflicted-

ROXY: =Oh shit..... CHUCKS ANOTHER ONE= go on girl! tasty tasty!!

JADE: grrr... JADE: -RUNS AFTER IT-

JADE: -but a few moments later, she zaps in front of Roxy with a snausage in her mouth, grabbing onto her and zapping again back into her cell-

ROXY: =Fuckin!! YES OK. SO..... she can't find Jake like this or Callie.... what to do.... what to do....UGHHHHGHGH. Just hides in a little corridor while trying to think. She doesn't even know if anyone else is here but now she's doubting it? AUGH. Okay, okay okay... think. Gotta think. Where can she hide? UUUGGGH--= ACK! =DOOF. Deposited on her face in the cell, gdi=