#like theyve asked me ONCE the entire fucking day if im alright its fucking insane
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sorry just. can i be insane a second? can i be completely honest but also batshit for a really quick second?
#im getting absolutely furious at the fact that staff are just casually having a convo like laughing and gossiping#maybe like 40ft away from me or something#while im sat her alone in the garden obviously not doing well and theyre just… having a giggle#like theyve asked me ONCE the entire fucking day if im alright its fucking insane#and yes i know things feel more intense and more targeted bc im triggered and have a pd ect ect ect#but this js MY blog and im sick of making disclaimers for how i feel so im not going to anymore#bc im sat here in the freezing cold bc if i stay in my flat im gonna try and end it#but i cant sit in the louge bc theres a meeting going on#what fucking meeting needs to be happening 10 at night#and like lets say it does#why is it not happening in their flat#you know a private place that doesnt impact anyone elses care or needs#like i know they have a living room too like its not fair theyve been using the communal lounge all day and all night for now the 4th day#in a fucking row#other people need it too#but no. bc im not as important or as pressing or as ill or as whatever as them#i have to sit alone with no support cold in the fucking garden#great im sooooo glad that everyone is being treated equally and that everyones needs are being taken into consideration 👍👍👍👍👍#i just feel like screaming and crying and throwing shit and hurting people im so sick of referring to a fucking text book its not changing#ANYTHING like i still have to deal with it all but now its prolonged and now its worse and now i dont even get any results#im so fucking sick of all of this why cant i just be fucking normal#i dont get why i have to be stuck with this stupid pd and all my other shit bc of other ppls actions and i dont even get a fucking APOLOGY?#im so fucking exhausted and i just dont wanna do this shit anymore#update not even the crisis team gives enough of a shit to fucking pick up the stupid phone lol#its a sign i suppose
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