#like they wrote the lyrics the exact way i felt

[badbtssmut]

A party for three

As usual, you and your boyfriend Taehyung travel by van to the same festival the both of you have been going to since you first started dating. But when you run into his best friend at the festival, you suddenly end the night with your pussy filled to the brim.

Contains: Everyone is under the influence, drunk, threesome, dubcon cause nobody’s thinking clearly, yn gets called a slut, double penetration in pussy <- yn winces and says it’s too tight but Tae encourages her, yn cries out of pleasure, riding, missionary, doggystyle, boobplay, multi orgasm, just fucking with literally zero thoughts

Admin note: fuck me I wrote this all on the tumblr app and it didn’t fucking save and I had to do it AGAIN!! :)

—

It was a warm night in the middle of summer as you and your boyfriend, Taehyung, pulled up in the parking lot of a venue you knew all too well. The two of you had been coming to this exact music festival for a few years now, and tonight was just the same as any other.

Or so you thought.

You cheered as one of your favorite bands entered the stage and took the crowd by storm, their fans immediately beginning to crowd the stage and the surrounding area.

Taehyung, on the other hand, wasn't even watching the band. He was busy watching you, your smile lighting up your entire face as you swayed your hips to the music and sang along to the lyrics. When you felt his eyes on you, you glanced over at him, smiling at him before you stepped closer and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Are you enjoying the show?" You asked him, giggling.

He shrugged. "I am now," he said, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you against him.

You giggled at his words; not sure if it was because you were tipsy or because you were amused by his cheesiness, but nonetheless he made you giggle.

A tap on his shoulder caught him by surprise and he turned around in confusion before a grin made his way to his face.

“Hey!” Jimin greeted cheerfully, (he was Taehyung’s best friend), waving at the two of you.

“Hey! What are you doing here?” Taehyung asked, which earned a playful push from Jimin.

“Dude, the same as you two are doing here, obviously, except I don’t have a pretty girl on my arm.”

You smiled at his compliment and reached over to give him a hug, and he hugged you back.

Jimin tagged along with the three of you, and the band was still going strong and performing, so you all decided to continue partying together. The music was loud, the drinks were flowing, and you were definitely a bit more than tipsy at this point. Your head was spinning, your body felt light, and you couldn’t stop giggling as you leaned into Taehyung for support, who was also quite drunk.

The band played a song that was more on the slower side, so everyone was moving along to the music rather than jumping up and down like they had been earlier.

"Hey," Taehyung murmured in your ear, and you turned around to face him, "want to head back to the van and relax a bit?"

You nodded in response.

“Jimin? You coming with us or staying here?" You asked, turning to his best friend.

“Yeah, let’s go.”

And with that, the three of you walked out of the venue and to the parking lot, where you all stepped into the van; it was one of those fancy ones, the really big vans that had a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen— it was fucking expensive but Taehyung insisted that it would be cool for road trips and it definitely was.

You flopped down on the bed and closed your eyes, your head spinning, and a few seconds later you felt the bed sink a bit, and you opened your eyes to see that it was Jimin, and he was staring at you.

"Y/N, I have been curious for a while... can I ask you something?" He said, a mischievous grin on his face.

"Sure." You responded, curious as to what he wanted to know.

"Your boobs, they look really soft, can I touch them? I've always wanted to feel them."

You laughed, his bluntness amusing you. “Okay.”

He reached his hand forward, and you watched as he gently cupped your breasts through your bra. He squeezed them a few times, and then he looked up at you. "Can I touch you under your shirt?" Jimin asked, his eyes hopeful.

You were feeling bold (probably due to all the stuff you took), and also very turned on, so you nodded. "Go ahead."

With your permission, he pushed your shirt up and over your head, and you sat up and unhooked your bra, letting it fall off of your shoulders. And then before you knew it, you and Jimin were cuddled up, your back rested against the wall as he laid on top of you, sucking on your tits and groping your boobs.

You had one hand resting on his head and the other found it’s way between your legs, rubbing your pussy through your shorts, moaning at the sensation.

Before you knew it, Jimin’s cock was in his hands, and he was pushing your shorts to the side and grinding his erection against your clit before it slipped in and was sliding in and out of you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, holding him close as he pounded into you, the two of you breathing heavily.

"Fuck, Y/N, you're so wet, baby," he moaned, thrusting his cock in and out of your pussy, his hips snapping against your ass, "so good, fuck."

You were panting, throwing your head back as his cock slammed into you, over and over.

The door then creaked open, and you looked over to see that it was your boyfriend, standing in the doorway. However, he didn’t seem fazed by the fact his girlfriend was getting fucked by his best friend. Instead, he stepped forward and crawled onto the bed, next to you. He grabbed hold of your face and kissed you, his tongue slipping past your lips, and you could taste the alcohol on his breath. His fingers trailed to your clit, rubbing it with his thumb as he continued to kiss you.

Taehyung pulled away, taking in the sight of his best friend’s cock drilling into you.

“Good pussy?” Taehyung asked with a chuckle.

"Very good pussy," Jimin replied, moaning as he thrusted his cock in and out of you, "gonna beat it up so good, gonna fuck it all up," he groaned, his hand reaching down to grab onto your tit.

“Mmhmm, I know how much she likes her pussy getting beat up. Do you like having your pussy beat up, baby?" Taehyung cooed.

You could only whimper, your mouth hanging open and your eyes squeezed shut.

“She loves it, dude, look at her," said Jimin, smirking.

Taehyung watched in awe as you rode his best friend's cock, your walls fluttering around his thick length. Taehyung could no longer ignore his hardening cock, so he reached down and unzipped his jeans, his erection springing free.

You felt him press his cock against your cheek, and you opened your eyes to see him holding his errection, the head rubbing against your cheek.

"You want it, baby?" He asked, and you nodded eagerly, opening your mouth. He guided his cock towards your mouth, and you opened it wider to take it, allowing him to slide it between your lips.

As you sucked on his cock, he ran his fingers over your arms before he held onto your hand and watched as you bobbed your head up and down, slurping and sucking on his shaft, your mouth full of his cock.

“Jimin…” You whined, spreading your legs as far as they could, allowing his cock to slam into you even deeper, and it was driving you crazy.

"What's wrong, miss Tae’s girlfriend? Can't take anymore?" He teased, grinning as he watched your face contort in pleasure, Taehyung’s cock slipping out of your mouth. Jimin grabbed you by the hips, holding you in place as he adjusted himself, fucking you from a deeper angle. Taehyung wrapped your fingers around his shaft, and you started to rub him off, watching as Jimin drilled into you.

"Such a pretty little slut, taking me and Tae's cock, I bet your pussy's just dying to get fucked, isn't it, slut?" Jimin asked with gritted teeth.

You cried out in response, your eyes rolling back in your head, and soon you were cumming, your pussy squeezing and contracting around his cock.

Taehyung stroked himself faster, watching as you came, and Jimin pulled out, wanting to feel your mouth around his cock, while Taehyung took his place, lifting you off the bed and putting you on his lap, facing him.

You sunk yourself onto his cock, wrapping your arms around his neck as you started to ride him, and he thrusted his hips upward, meeting yours.

“Yeah babe, ride my cock just like that, bounce on my dick," Taehyung encouraged, groaning as he watched you bounce up and down on his shaft, his hands resting on your hips.

Jimin stood next to the bed, jerking himself off as he watched you get fucked, and he stepped closer to you and held his cock out, and you immediately took him into your mouth, moaning as you moved your head back and forth, taking him all the way in.

“Love it?” Taehyung cooed, his hands moving to your ass and squeezing your cheeks.

“Love it so much," you managed to say, the two of them thrusting their cocks in and out of you.

"Love your holes filled with my cock and my best friend's, don't you, baby?" Taehyung whispered as he caressed your face.

"Yes, Tae, love it, love cocks so much, please," you begged, your voice a whimper.

"Gonna fuck you until you're sore and can't walk," he said, smirking as he slapped your ass, "want two cocks in your pussy? Think you can handle that?”

“She wants two cocks?” Jimin pulled his errection out of your mouth, stroking himself as he stared at your pussy.

Taehyung lifted you off his dick, turning you around, your back against his chest and his dick pressed against your ass.

"Jimin's cock is nice and big too, so I think it'll be a tight fit. Think you can handle that, babe?"

“Please, want them,” You giggled, rolling your hips impatiently, “put cock in me, I want it."

Taehyung grabbed hold of his cock and pushed the tip into you, and then slowly lowered you down onto him, letting out a hiss as your sweet pussy engulfed him.

You leaned back into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around your waist, his hands resting on your stomach. He began to pump his cock in and out of you, his eyes falling closed.

"Mmhmm," he hummed, "love your pussy, so good, babe."

"I love it too," said Jimin, climbing onto the bed, his cock brushing against your thigh, still rock hard. “Where do I put it in? Don’t see space, too tight."

You were about to open your mouth to tell him where to put it, but before you could, Taehyung spoke first.

"Just push it in on top of mine," Taehyung told him, "don't worry, she'll make space."

Jimin did what he was told, and you felt him start to push in, at which you winced and whimpered.

"Shhh, you'll be okay," cooed your boyfriend, his hand going to your clit and rubbing it gently, "just relax and let it happen, baby. Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt you, promise.” He whispered against your ear, before leaving a trail of kisses down your neck.

“Too tight, too full…” You whimpered, squirming in his arms, but he held you in place, his grip tightening around your waist.

"Baby, I can feel Jimin’s cock, it’s almost in all the way, you feel it too? He's rubbing his cock against mine," said your boyfriend, chuckling softly.

"Yeah, yeah," Jimin breathed, finally pushing his cock all the way in, letting out a deep groan, "fuck, so tight, fuck."

The two of them started to move, and the sensation of having both their cocks inside of you was almost too much to bear.

"Please, don't stop, don't stop," you chanted, tears streaming down your cheeks as they pumped their cocks in and out of you, stretching your pussy even further, filling you up so perfectly.

They both began to speed up, and the room was filled with the sounds of their grunts and moans, along with the sound of your pussy squelching as they fucked it.

"Shit, she's milking my cock," said Jimin, his hands grabbing onto your thighs, pushing your legs back as he drilled into you. Taehyung never lost his rhythm, pounding upwards with a steady pace, his cock hitting all the right places— while Jimin pushed in, Taehyung pulled out, when Taehyung took a break, Jimin didn’t stop, and occasionally you’d be double drilled when they’d both push their cocks in at the same time, the sensations overwhelming and mind numbing.

You cried out as your pussy began to spasm, and soon you were cumming again, the two of them fucking you through it, their dicks continuing to pound into your pussy, not slowing down for a second.

“Oh, oh!” Your eyes rolled back, mouth wide open and drool leaking from the corner of your mouth. You didn’t know how you were taking two cocks at the same time, but you were, and it felt amazing.

After the double penetrating, you ended up in the arms of your boyfriend who fucked you missionary style, the two of you making out while he thrusted into you, his tongue down your neck and his hands exploring your body, squeezing your breasts as he enjoyed your pussy. Then after, Jimin took over and fucked you doggystyle, your legs spread and back arched as his cock rammed into you from behind, your ass jiggling each time his hips met yours.

You didn’t know how long the three of you managed to keep it up, but you fell asleep somewhere between the sex, and when you woke up the sun was shining through the curtains and you were wrapped in a blanket.

Taehyung was heard in the kitchen, presumably making breakfast.. or lunch.

You sat up, wincing as your muscles ached and the events of last night replayed in your head.

That was just a fucked up wet dream, right?

Your boyfriend stepped into the room, holding a plate.

"Hey babe, here, I made you some breakfast, thought you needed it after last night."

[ivyues]

Lyric Stolen, Heart Taken - Han Jisung

During your date night, you stumble upon lyrics that feel a little too familiar.

It was a rare, quiet evening when Han and you decided to have a cozy stay-in date in his dorm room. You were sprawled on his bed, your head resting comfortably on his stomache as his hand absentmindedly played with your hair, the sound of his soft hums blending with the faint playlist in the background.

With no one else there for the night, the atmosphere felt warm and intimate. The dim light of the desk lamp glowed softly as the fading afterglow of the sunset had given way to deepening blues. You had brought snacks, and Han had suggested watching a movie or just chatting the night away.  

“I’ll be right back,” Han said, standing up with a quick stretch. “I forgot something in the kitchen. Don’t move, okay?” He grinned, pointing at you playfully.  

“Okay, okay,” you said smiling. As he left, you noticed his desk neatly cluttered with notebooks, pens, and a few stray sticky notes.  

“Can I borrow your desk for a second?” you called after him.  

“Yeah, sure! Go for it!” Han’s voice echoed from the hallway. 

Settling into his chair, you pulled out your notebook to jot something down. That’s when a loose piece of paper caught your eye. At first, you didn’t mean to look – it was covered in messy, scrawled handwriting, the kind Han often joked was a language only he could read. But then a line snagged your attention.  

The words felt familiar. Too familiar.  

You tilted your head and leaned closer. A smile tugged at your lips. You had said this exact sentence to him a few weeks ago, during a late-night talk about chasing happiness. Another line followed, one about someone’s presence feeling like home. You remembered saying that to him after a particularly long hug. 

Your chest tightened as the realization set in: these weren’t random scribbles. They were lyrics. His lyrics.

You were still smiling when Han returned, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. He froze when he saw you at the desk, his eyes darting to the paper in your hands.  

“Wait—wait, no! That’s not finished!” He laughed nervously, quickly crossing the room and snatching the paper from your grasp.  

“Hey!” you protested with a laugh as he held it behind his back, his face slightly pink.  

“C’mon, that's embarrassing! You weren’t meant to see that yet.” Han chuckled, though there was a hint of flusteredness creeping in.

You squinted playfully at him. “Embarrassing? So, is this or is this not a song about me?”  

Han sputtered. “I—uh—no, I mean, yes, but—it’s not ready yet! You weren’t supposed to see it!”  

You grinned and quoted one of the lyrics back to him. “– Wasn’t that something I said to you first?”  

Caught, he groaned, covering his face with one hand. “Okay, fine, maybe I borrowed a line or two,” he admitted, fidgeting. “But it was too perfect not to use!” 

Your heart swelled as he added, more quietly, “Every time you say something that sticks with me… I don’t want to forget it. It’s like… all the ways you make me feel—I thought maybe this could be a way to tell you.”

You got up to him and wraped your arms around him in a warm hug, burying your face in his shoulder for a moment before pulling back just enough to look at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. "So, if you’re using my words, does that mean I get credit in the liner notes?"

Han lifted his eyebrows, his lips twitching into a grin. “Oh, is that how it works now?”  

You shrugged, feigning innocence. “I’m just saying...”

Han shook his head, laughing, but then a spark lit in his eyes. “Actually… what if we wrote a song together?”

The suggestion caught you off guard. “Wait, what?”

“I’m serious!” he said, his excitement growing. “You’re already a part of so many. Why not make one together?”

Your face heated up as you stammered, “I—I don’t know anything about writing songs.”  

“I’ll help,” he said, leaning closer, his gaze bright and earnest. “It would be fun.”

Sensing your hesitation, he reached out and gently took your hands in his, his thumbs brushing softly against your knuckles. “We’ll do it together,” he said, his voice lower now, almost a whisper.

You tried to shake your head, trying to brush it off, but the idea settled in, warm and persistent.

“Think about it, okay?” He shooted you a tight-lipped smile before leaning in to softly kiss you.

And as the evening continued, the thought lingered, growing alongside the quiet intimacy of sharing something so deeply personal to him.

masterlist

[touchd0wn-boy]

BLINK-182 - CAROUSEL 1997 / 2000 / 2014 / 2024 The two met in Tom's garage. Tom pulled out a red notebook in which he had written music and lyrics. Starting on page one, Tom and Mark explored all the songs Tom had written. Then, they played songs Mark had written. Even on that first night, the two started co-writing songs, songs that already sounded like the band that would be blink-182. "Carousel" found its beginnings that night in Tom's garage. - Anne Hoppus, Tales From Beneath Your Mom "[Carousel] is the first song that Tom and I ever wrote together, the very first day I met that son of a bitch back in 1992." - Mark Hoppus "Instantly, I felt like we had the exact same musical style; he just had it on a different instrument than me." - Tom DeLonge "We had the same thoughts about songs, wrote songs about the same stuff, wanted songs to sound the same way. It was like somehow we were supposed to find each other and write music." - Mark Hoppus

[canaidliafail]

Stay grounded

streamer Abby x streamer f!reader 🌿

[part 1 ]. [part 2]

Not proof read like at all. pure crap. Im just horny had an idea and wrote it down. enjoy tho~ MDI cause it will get explicit in later chapters

CW: college exams, weed

“fuck, give me a caption”

“I like tits”

“literally fuck you”

you mumbled and your friends laughed, enjoying your misery. You stared at the blank space below your post and pursed your lips in concentration. Eventually you started typing cringing at every word

“trying some new products ˖◛⁺ ⑅ ♡”

and pressed “post” on the photo tossing your phone on the other side of the couch defeated. Been a presence online sure had its fun but you were also filled with the existential dread that people knew you “existed”

150k people to be exact. not much but more than you ever expected to get from your hobby. You usually posted your figurine collection from the most recent games you streamed with the occasional over the top pic of you dolled up and in clothes styled to fit the game of the month which unsurprisingly always over performed in statistics.

you had been doing this for a good two years now give or take and it was a wild turn of events considering how quickly and well your career took off. You loved the financial comfort but hated how exposed you constantly felt.

“Don't you have a stream tonight?” your friend,june, asked and you shook your head rubbing your face and squeezing your eyes shut to hopefully get rid of the persistent ache

“No, I'm resting for the week. Told them I have exams or whatever”

she passed you the blunt and you took a few puffs in silence staring into space

“Mind if I put on some music?”

“no go ahead” you mumbled and went to the kitchen to make coffee as you heard the first notes of mr.kitty after dark play in the living room.

“We need to go on a trip somewhere”. June said and Cassie agreed

“trip? where?” you shouted loud enough to be heard across the halls

“I don't know man but like, leave this town for a bit. Remember how fun we had on our last trip ?”

you smiled. Italy was fun. England was insane and Germany was borderline a fever dream. all three unique and all three with a romantic disappointment that entertained your friend group for months and you had to admit you had been craving leaving your city for a while now. Had it not been for the fact that you were on your last semester at college you would be somewhere else every other week -without any romantic endeavors-

You made the quickest shittiest coffee and went back to the living room sitting on the floor “Once Im done with exams we can go anywhere you want” you promised. Your phone pinged the flash going on and off

“What the fuck”

“Im suing for optical damage”

they yelled and grabbed your phone tossing it your way and you all but laughed

“Sorry sorry my bad forgot to turn off flash alerts”

You tapped your screen and almost choked on your coffee fumbling to unlock your phone the lyrics blurring in the background until they became a numbing buzz

staygrounded69 just made a new post

you tapped the icon and saw the new photo. You couldn’t quite understand what it was about her but she had you hooked and entirely captivated. It wasn’t a crush but you always found yourself checking for new posts or streams.

Abby, known by her public name staygrounded was a gamer who streamed here and there. In a more a casual stream she eventually explained that her nickname was a jab by her friend when she asked for ideas and he said “staygrounded, get it? cause of your fear of heights?” and it just stuck by.

That wasn’t why she had blown up though. No it was due to her coming out as a lesbian and that fueled every female straight and not. She was after all, a tall muscular woman with beautiful blonde hair and a face with unique features that deserved appreciation in the form of oil paintings and perhaps a face seating

you shook your head trying not to let your mind fall too deep into hopeless thirsty thoughts and admired the new photo. a casual gym pic. Fuck she wasn’t even flexing her muscles or anything. she wore the baggiest grey sweatpants with a black hoodie and a black cap with her braided hair and the lower half of her face peaking through sitting on a bench casually

and yet you felt weak. you bit your lower lip and chewed on it a little

“Cotton????” your friends called out to you by your streamer nickname and snapped their fingers. you looked up feeling your cheeks heat up

“aaah did she post?”

“mhm” you nod excitedly and went back to looking at the photo. You tapped the share button and posted it on your story leaving a small note

“her <3”

not been shy of publicly “aPprEciAtiNg” her since she was hell of a popular figure and would for sure not see your reshare.you let out a sigh and june smirked

“what ails you my victorian maiden”

“I love women” you said dreamily and took a sip of your coffee

“Wish they loved you back” Cassie bit and you grabbed your pillow and went over to her “oh you’re dead” you barked and she laughed as you started playfully smothering her with the stuffed item.

“alright time for me to bounce” june said first and grabbed her things “my teacher will probably be up my ass for coming so late” she groaned and you looked at the time “yeah I need to also get going”

“sucks to suck. Ill go take a nap” Cassie said and grabbed her things.

you and June both had afternoon classes while Cassie was happily a drop out who did seasonal work and rested during winter. The two of you were very visibly jealous of her not having to deal with the pain of exams.

“Yeah yeah get over yourself” June said jabbing her at her sides and Cassie yelped running in front of her, June chasing her down the stairs and you being the last one to leave the apartment to lock the door.

•••

You were in class when it happened. Your week ended with a babging 3 hour lecture entirely dedicated to pattern making. You were ready to grab the scissors and stab yourself to end this. You friend also seemed to slowly wither away while your teacher remained as chipper as always

“Now regarding coats-“ she continued and you pushed your chair away from the desk softly getting up to grab fresh paper to start copying the notes she was starting to draw on the board

You spread it out on your desk and grabbed the ruler and pencil and started measuring a No.44 coat purposefully being slower than usual so that you wouldn’t have to do much work. Your brain was squeezed dry for the day and this class was always the most difficult

you grabbed your phone to take a picture of the finished measurements and pattern on the board to have it for later. You opened the camera and zoomed in ready to take a pic

staygrounded69 liked your story

came the first notification and you fumbled with your phone as it nearly fell off of your hands. You sat down on your chair and stared at the icon for a hard long minute not wanting to tap it and see just a fan account instead. You decided to stay delusional

staygrounded69 liked your post

staygrounded69 liked your post

a few minutes later came another few notifications and then that was it. You opened your page and tapped the username that led to her profile.

holy shit

it really was her

its fucking her

You breathed in quitting her page and tapping her username again still in disbelief. She saw your photos. She had specifically liked the ones with your face in.

“Refrain from using your phones in class” your teacher reminded you and you were snapped back into reality

right patterns

coats

you shoved your phone in your bag and tried to focus on the sheet in front of you. for the remaining half hour you faked working on the class assignment and pretending to draw lines and correct them and the second your professor dismissed you, you bolted out of the class and grabbed your phone and checked for any new notifications. There was none and you tried to ignore the soft pang of disappointment that filled your chest.

You did hope she would follow you back or something but that was ridiculous considering how famous she was and by your knowledge she only followed her friends the she hang out with outside her online careers which was a dreadfully low number of people meaning there was no reason for her to follow you

you called june “you won't believe what happened”

“Oh my god. Its about that hot beefy streamer isn’t it?”

“Yes yes it is!”

and you heard screaming on the other line till the mic peaked and muted her out entirely. You gave her a few moments of squealing till she was back on the line ready to question you

“spill. what happened? Did she see your story? did she reply to it?”

“alright no nothing that important but-“

“oh come onnnn”

“BUT!” you interrupted and she waited for you to continue

“but she liked two of my pictures. You know what this means? it means she went through my page and liked two of my pictures June!”

“Wow oh my she will propose to you. She is so in love oh god”

You kept hyping up each other’s delusions all the way to your bus station

“did she text you ? any other notifications?”

you pulled your phone away and checked your page.nothing new so far

“no nothing yet, oh my bus is here”

“alright keep me updated if anything happens”

you hung up and walked inside the vehicle and sat on a plastic seat daydreaming of every possible scenario between you and Abby. However the more you sat the more the high of the excitement wore off and the more you settled back into your usual sorrowful self

ok and? she liked your posts. hell she is probably a player and likes every cute girls posts

you thought and sank further into the seat drowning in the soft music playing from your headphones. you tapped your foot on beat and rested your head against the cold misty windows of the bus. You started lying to yourself pretending this didn’t affect you much and that you'd be over her by tomorrow

You walked back home and tossed your bag carelessly near the shoe rack while taking off your boots and coat in one go leaving them on the floor not caring to tidy up. You went to the sofa and turned on your ps4 feeling excited that you finally had a few hours to dedicate to yourself

You logged into assassin’s creed valhalla ready to continue. This was your third play through and the only game you refused to play on stream. You liked keeping it as a way to comfort yourself and disassociate. You were planning on eventually getting tge ¼ scale Eivor statue that cost the not so humble amount of 1,2k $. Until you were ready to commit to such an expense though you settled for seeing your favorite character in game and left the statue in your wishlist amongst the other figurines you wanted to get

in between enjoying the game you checked the time and remembered today was Abbys turn to stream. You hated to admit that you had purposely made a schedule around hers so that you wouldn’t miss any time she went live, good example being now. You unlocked your phone leaving her stream open waiting for it to start while simultaneously running around in the forest, leisurely exploring the areas in your game

“Hey everyone! Can you all hear me fine? musics not too loud?”

came abbys voice and you snapped your head to your phone looking at her. fuck she was wearing that grey sleevless tank-top again

“Todays stream will be more chill. thought we could just catch up and chat a bit. I ugh had a long day at the gym”

she continued in her usual timid tone. On first look you would never think a woman like her would be so damn shy but she was. Or maybe it was just the camera and audience that caused her to be a bit more chaotic. Its not like you knew what she really was like behind the lens.

“Oh hey Alice nice to see you again!” she said taking her time to greet most of the people viewing her

“Oh we have Nora and Manny in the chat too” she said with a soft laugh. Nora. Oh you knew Nora. Abby usually posted with two women. Both seemed to be friends with her but could equally be suspected to be her girlfriend. One was Nora. They went to the same gym together and often hung out on stream. The second one was Ellie. Another streamer who in the beginning had a very well known hatred towards Abby until one day they miraculously made up and started occasionally hanging out.

not that it mattered to you if either of them was dating Abby…

“Next games? hm..Im not sure. Any suggestions”

you hesitated. You were a silent watcher most days. actually you had never said a damn word other than a donation to her stream and when she called you by your username back then to thank you, you felt so embarrassed that you decided to be one of the lurkers in her stream. Must have been a year ago or so when no one knew you either so there wasn’t a big deal made out of your name being mentioned. You felt stupid for even considering that anyone knew you at all to care if you left a comment. Even in the slim chance that your audience overlapped no one would really bother making a big deal out of it

“Have you tried ac valhalla?” you looked at your comment again and again till deciding to press send and then wait

“yeah not sure about that one..” she seemed to be reading and expanding a bit on which games she considered giving it a go or not. You felt a bit of relief thinking your comment was lost in the sea of others and resumed your game only to pause it shortly after

“Cotton? heh, cute nickname…I haven’t tried any of the assassins creed games but Ill check it out” You heard and your hands started to shake in excitement your ears burning from the heat.

Its not like Abby had any unique accent but the way she said your nickname made you twirl your hair and giggle to yourself. You grabbed your phone again

“oh really? she is?” you heard abby say and you read the comments the excitement turning into plain horror and mortification when you saw people start to recognise you and tease you for recommending the game they had probably seen you continuously post on your stories for a year straight. You exited the stream in shame and gently put your phone on the coffee table continuing your game.

I will end it all for real

this was my last straw

By the time the embarrassment of this minor inconvenience wore off You were in the middle of finishing the Granterbridge arc when you decided to post another story with a short caption regarding the characters. Your phone slowly started going off with notifications with people responding to your story and being in a sour mood you decided to mute it and continue your game till you fell asleep on the couch. The only reason you woke up was because you actually had a really shitty sofa with the thinnest pillows that did nothing to shield you from the hard wooden planks beneath.

You groaned in pain and looked at the screen of your Tv. Your ps4 was on rest mode and at 4.00 am you couldn’t be bothered to do anything about that so you just grabbed your phone and walked to your bedroom quickly going through the unusually vast amount of notifications in case there was something from your friends that you had missed

you stopped in front of your bedroom door and rubbed your eyes. your mind was blank. it was 4.00 am

you read the notification again

staygrounded69: hi

••••

heres my ko-fi tip jar if you enjoy my work 🤍

[flowerhrt]

crave | daisy jones.

pairing: daisy jones x fem!reader

summary: daisy looks back on her life and your relationship after finally getting to marry you.

warnings: mentions of overdose, alcohol consumption, mentions of a past addiction, niccolo argento (his name deserves a warning).

a/n: daisy is a lesbian but the reader's sexuality isn't specified. i used the dates and ages from the book.

word count: 2.3k

the clock read 2:48 am when daisy finished writing her new song. most people would think she was crazy for staying up all night the day after her wedding, but she had never been this inspired before. 

daisy jones got married to her wife y/n l/n on july 17, 2015. a month after same-sex marriage was legalized across the united states and the same date which marked her 36 year anniversary of being clean. her life changed on that date in 1979, and she wanted to celebrate it by getting married that exact same day and month. 

she never thought this was possible. being able to get married to the love of her life, coming out to the entire world, and most importantly, still being alive at 64 years old. she didn’t think she’d ever make it past 30.

“daisy, aren’t you tired? it’s almost 3 am.” the singer looked up from her place on the couch at the sound of her wife’s voice. my wife, she smiled at the thought. 

“i’m fine, my angel. i just had to finish writing this idea for a song i’ve had stuck in my head all day.” she answered. “so you were thinking about music during our ceremony? ouch.” y/n said, placing a hand on her chest, feigning hurt. 

“oh, stop it!” daisy couldn’t help but giggle at her wife’s words. “you know i didn’t mean it like that. i meant that you inspired me to write a new song. i know, this isn’t news to you, but i could write an entire song about you eating a damn sandwich. you’re my favorite person to write about.” 

“what? i thought that was billy dunne.” daisy laughed at the statement, not before sticking out her tongue at her. that was one of the singer’s favorite things about y/n, the fact that even though both of them were well into their sixties, they still acted like two lovesick women in their twenties. 

y/n stayed quiet for a little while after that, just lovingly staring at her. the intense but loving stare made daisy feel nervous, not in a bad way, of course. it made her feel the same knot in the stomach she felt when they met for the first time. it was love. she was feeling love. 

“what is it?” she asked, her face beginning to flush the way it always does whenever her wife, the most beautiful person alive, according to the redhead, looks intensely at her. 

“nothing” y/n answered. “it’s just that seeing you write at 3:00 am is taking me back to all those years ago.” 

daisy let out a soft sigh at the memory of their first years together. when y/n would wake up in the middle of the night to find daisy sitting on the floor, guitar in hand, scribbling new lyrics she had just come up with. it was as if she had traveled back in time, after all, both of them have been in this situation lots of times, but she swore it felt as if they were back in the 70s again.

“well, to make you even more nostalgic, the song i wrote is about that. not about me ruining your sleep schedule, but about missing those times.” she slowly strummed her guitar. “is it okay if i sing it to you?”

her wife took a seat next to the singer and placed a red lock of hair behind daisy’s ear. “it is more than okay, unless it makes me cry, because if that’s the case… then it is not.” 

daisy pecked y/n’s lips and answered with a quick “no promises!” before taking a deep breath and starting to sing.

i can’t wait to memorize this day 

oh, a picture could not contain the way it feels

she smiled as she sang those lyrics. it’s true, she thinks. this is probably the happiest she has ever been, she used to believe people were faking it when they said their wedding day was the best day of their lives, but it turns out they were right. maybe the reason she didn’t believe it is because her last marriage was the worst period of her life.

 sure, she married an italian prince. but was she happy? fuck no. she only did it to find a way out of the hole she dug for herself during the recording of aurora. when she wanted to feel special. when she was only drawn to niccolo argento because he was drawn to her. when her addiction was taking over her life. when she didn’t know it was fine to fall in love with women.

you say, "live in the present" 

i'm already dreaming of how it begins 

when she was little, she always dreamed of having a big wedding with a rich, respectful man. she used to think that was the only way she’d finally get her parents to be proud of her. it took a lot of therapy and self-acceptance for her to finally let go of that dream. she decided she was going to marry for herself and the woman she loved, not her parents.

 the singer was so happy she couldn’t stop crying when it was announced she could finally get legally married to her long-term girlfriend. it may have taken over 30 years, but she was finally married to the love of her life.

and trying to savor the moment

but i know the feeling will come to an end

this is a problem daisy has always dealt with, being scared of people leaving and using her. she was a teenager the first time an older man dragged her into his room and made her have sex with him, he used her and then told her to leave. it’s a pattern she grew used to. get used and then abandoned. it was a shock when she met y/n and realized she actually cared about her, about what she thought, about what she had to say, about her music. 

y/n always reassured her she would never leave, even when things got rough, she always stood by her side. daisy tried to self-sabotage herself several times, always thinking about how she wasn’t worth the love she was getting, but even through all of that, her wife never abandoned her. never used her. never judged her.

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again 

crave, crave, to do it again

it was difficult, it really was. being part of the biggest band in the world and being a woman dating another woman was frightening. but looking back on it now, if she knew all that fear would turn into happiness and she’d end up marrying y/n, she would do it all over again.

just for a second it all felt simple

i'm already missing it

despite all of the fear, a part of her enjoyed the simplicity of their first years together. when they would meet up in hidden places to make out or when they would book hotel rooms adjacent to each other, just to end up sneaking in the middle of the night into the other’s room and sharing a bed. she misses the adrenaline of keeping their relationship a secret, of always having to come up with an excuse during interviews as to why she isn’t dating any famous man.

daisy couldn’t give less of shit about them. the thought of dating a man made her skin crawl. plus, she was dating the most perfect woman alive, how could they think she’d ever look at someone else?

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again.

daisy almost stopped singing at the sight of her wife in front of her. the singer could tell she was trying to fight back tears, she was about to put her guitar down but she knew y/n would get mad at her for stopping. she always tells her to “never stop singing, not even when you see me crying and being a mess. because i’ll cry more if you stop doing what you love.”

so she continued.

i romanticize even the worst of times 

when all it took to make me cry was being alive

daisy hit rock bottom a year before meeting y/n. her life was a mess, her addiction kept getting worse, her ex-husband was a fucking douchebag who didn’t care if she overdosed while on tour, her parents didn’t give her a single thought, and she was trying to understand why she didn’t feel anything towards men but kept wanting the same type of relationship simone had with her girlfriend. 

she wouldn’t go a day without crying or downing an entire bottle of alcohol. it was the worst time of her life, but for some reason she looks back on it fondly. her years of therapy, meditation and healing helped her realize she wouldn’t have the life she currently has if she hadn’t survived those times.

look up and see a reflection 

of someone who never gave way to the pain

daisy looked around their house as she sang those lyrics. their home. it has some plants sitting in the living room, a few framed photos of the band, of her and simone, and of her and y/n placed around the walls. they made sure to leave some space for their wedding photos. she still couldn’t believe it. she lives in a beautiful home with her wife, and the world supports them. they don’t hate them or are repulsed by the thought of them being gay. 

after all, the world could never hate daisy jones.

what if i told 'em that now that i'm older 

there isn't a moment that i'd wanna change?

she thought she was going to break down crying halfway through their wedding ceremony. it’s fucking crazy how far life got her, she went from hiding her sexuality to inviting all of her friends to see them get married. the years have passed and they’re all old now, but the six and simone are still her best friends, seeing all of them together, celebrating their love, made her feel like the luckiest person alive.

now i crave, crave to do it again, all again

crave, crave to do it again

just for a second it, all felt simple

i'm already missing it 

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again 

y/n l/n and daisy jones came out in 1997. it was all over the news, they revealed they’ve been dating since 1977, making it 20 years of keeping their relationship a secret. the only ones who knew about it were their close friends and some of y/n’s family members. the couple were rumoured to just be best friends who live together, but the two of them got tired of having to hide from the world. 

any second, feel the present

future and the past connecting

any second, feel the present

future and the past connecting

daisy closed her eyes as she remembered the day she first met her wife. it was 1977 and she was at simone’s after-show party, she had just recently come out as a lesbian to her best friend, and simone thought it would be nice to have her meet some new people. both her and y/n were closeted during that time, but that didn’t mean y/n wasn’t dating anyone previously. daisy noticed her from afar and thought she was the most breathtaking woman she had ever seen, something she still thinks to this day, and decided to walk up to her. she didn’t know if she was gay too, so she made sure to only make small talk with the girl. 

they were talking about their favorite records when a random girl daisy had never seen before pulled y/n towards her. she saw them having an argument and how the girl kept touching y/n’s arm, something that would make y/n turn her head to see if anyone had noticed. they had a heated conversation until the girl decided to storm out and leave y/n alone. 

when she got back to daisy and anxiously said “i know you saw us, it’s not what you think.” daisy made sure to make her feel better by saying “all i think is that you’re way too cool for that chick.. and i know a thing or two about not being with the right girl.” 

in that moment, a small understanding passed between them. they only gave each other a small smile before continuing their conversation about music.

crave, crave to do it again, all again 

crave, crave to do it again,

just for a second, it all felt simple 

i'm already missing it

so i crave, crave to do it again, all again 

daisy finished singing and rapidly put her guitar down to be able to give her wife a hug. she loved her so much, she was so thankful for her existence and life together. sometimes she still wonders what would’ve happened if she had never gone up to her that night in 1977.

daisy broke the hug and looked into her eyes. “i would tell you i love you so much” y/n started 

“but…” daisy interrupted. 

“but you made me cry and that’s not fair.” her wife continued. the singer playfully rolled her eyes at the sentence. “i did tell you i didn’t promise anything.” she argued.

“but fine, is there anything i can do to make you feel better?” daisy asked. y/n hummed and acted as if she was in deep thought before saying “a kiss from my wife would make anything better.”

daisy answered with a “who am i to say no to my favorite girl?” 

and kissed her wife.

[lunaoyabun]

Music Throwback

with Satoru Gojo

It was just that simple: u thought of a song u heard a lot back when u were a child and played it. The lyrics still remembered as if it was yesterday, u danced around the shared apartment and sang along the song fully hearted, as Satoru returned. Instantly smiling as he remembered when this song was played back in the day. Why did u play it? U were a bit younger than him. That u even know that song amazed him. When he saw u dancing through the living room with your arms spread wide, he leaned in the door frame, adoring u, careful not to interrupt the little moment u had there. As u recognized him, u blushed a bit but smiled at him.

"Didn't that came out when u were a little child? How do u know it?", he asked, remembering that he heard it in his early teenage years a lot when he was hanging out with Suguru and Shoko.

"Yeah, but I listened to it with my parents and it was my favorite song as a child", u smile genuinely and he smirked. U were so perfect in every way. Never missed to surprise him.

When the chorus came again, both of u started singing along, dancing around with wide arms and smiled at each other like happy kids that didn't have the burden of a grown up, let alone being confronted with curses day by day.

It was for these moments, for that exact feeling of safety and happiness, that Satoru Gojo chose to be with u. Even with the age gap, there wasn't any second doubt, that u both were made for each other...

Hopefully, one day, u would find the peace u felt while u danced at this moment, back to back, like no one else mattered. No one but u both and your eternal love...

This song is a classic in my book, and back when I was a child, I loved listening to the 'new German wave' how it's translated freely into English. For those who know the English version, respect. For those who don't and wanna know the lyrics, the English version is called Major Tom (coming home)

I hope u enjoyed this little fluff moment i had here, I'll return to listen to that song now and dance exactly like I wrote it here! Byeeee :3

[ashwhowrites]

FD part 4

I am very sorry for how long this took to come out. I hope you guys love it and was worth the wait. As always, I love to see your reactions so feel free to tell me what you thought!

Eddie called and called. Leaving voicemail after voicemail. He was panicking, and he had no idea what to do. He knew that if this moment ever came, he'd be screwed. And here he was.

It didn't take long for the media to find out, and Eddie felt it was leaked. And he knew by who.

They were on the cover of every magazine

"Biggest couple in the world called it quits! But why?"

The fanbase was split, some on her side and trashing Eddie's name. Some on his side believed she was the issue, and that's why she was never public about her relationships. Eddie wanted to come clean right away, but Zack refused to let him.

He said letting the fans try to figure it out would bring more attention to them. But Eddie didn't want anyone turning on her, but Zack believed it would impact Eddie's fame. And Zack only cared about Eddie's career.

~~~

He hated that he had no way to get in touch with her. He wanted to apologize over and over. He wanted to find any type of way to fix the mess he got himself into.

Just as Zack hoped, Eddie's name was in every magazine. A week has passed and no one has even seen Y/N. Paparazzi outside her house, just waiting for the second she walks out to capture how she looks in the breakup stage. But she hasn't made a sound. She hasn't been active on social media, everything on her end was silent.

Two weeks and the media was craving her side of things. Her fans begged that she says something about what happened. Her management team wanted her to speak of what happened, clear her name, and end Eddie's career.

She didn't want to end his career. But she was an artist, and artists show their pain through their work. So, she released a song.

She wrote every emotion she felt, sang with all the betrayal on her mind, and sent the record out to the world. She felt happy with the way the song turned out. She didn't care if people liked it or not. She didn't care if Eddie heard it and was upset. She wanted to take back all the power she lost.

He wanted her because of her famous daddy, she took the title and made it her own.

It didn't take long for "famous daddy" to reach the top of the charts and for everyone to talk about it. The media loved the drama. Articles were written about what each lyric meant and the exact way it related to Eddie.

~~~

Zack was on cloud nine, the exact reaction from her that he was hoping for.

Eddie on the other hand was suffering. He hated how different everything was. The song they made together was so in love and happy. All of that disappeared in her new song, and it made his gut turn.

"Perfect! The pop star has released a break-up single, definitely leading to a breakup album. All the songs will be related back to you. That keeps everyone searching your name and keeps everyone connecting things back to you. You know what we have to do now, right?" Zack asked

"Apologize publicly and leave her alone?" Eddie questioned, but he knew that wouldn't be the answer. It would be the right answer, not the one Zack was looking for though.

"No! This is the perfect time to get you in the booth. Writing the break up from your point of you. She called you out, she embarrassed you, and truthfully, outshined you pretty damn well. She has the power to make the media believe what she wants, we need to reverse that."

"That doesn't make any sense! Reverse what? She sang about the truth. She talked about falling in love and having it all be a plan. She talked about being used for her daddy's name. Everything she said was real, you expect me to make it seem like she's lying?" Eddie couldn't stand this man. But he easily found out the truth about what being famous was all about doing anything to get your name ahead.

"Stop with that nonsense. She's a fucking girl singing about how her boyfriend broke her heart! She's releasing the same shit everyone else is. You are the man, you come out and sing about your side, and everyone always believes the man. You write about how she's lying, she's throwing your name in the dirt so she can come out on top. Every boy who has ever been wronged by a girl will love the song. They'll relate to you. It's you versus her, and you are going to win."

"So she can hate me? So all her hard work is easily thrown to the side all because a man said she was making shit up? Do you not hear how fucking ridiculous that sounds? She has had this career for years, she worked hard to keep her reputation real and that's exactly why she hid away from relationships. You want to take that all away from her?"

"Eddie, I am your manager, I don't give a shit about her. I'm hired to make you a star. I got you the contract with her dad, which he can't get out of no matter how much he hates you, I got you at the top, I got your name known. Your constant arguing about everything is really pissing me off. Write the fucking song, record it, and we will release it."

Eddie watched as Zack slammed the door behind him.

He stared at the notebook in front of him. Countless songs were written about her, but none that villainized her. If Eddie ever got the chance to make it up to her, and he wrote the song, it would take any progress he made.

It was his career or hers.

~~~

Y/N knew with the release of a new song would cause even more drama. But she was tired of being played and being hurt. The release of the song was the first thing that made her smile in days. She felt a sense of comfort when people shared her song and their story. For once, she wasn't alone.

Her management dealt with endless calls, begging for interviews. At first, she wanted to say no, not bother to give him any more publicity.

But if he could use her for her name, why can't she suck his name out for her own benefit?

She had a performance set for tomorrow and an interview following. As she sat in her make-up chair, she hated how sad she felt. Almost like preparing to actually sing the song live, reminds her Eddie did truly break her heart. It wasn't a song she made of random characters, it was her and her pain.

"Y/N? Ready?" Her dad came in, a sad smile on his face. She knew he felt bad for her and he hated that he was stuck in a contract with the boy who broke his daughter's heart.

"Yeah," she breathed, standing up as she checked herself in the mirror. Eddie wanted to use her? Fine, she's going to ruin his career.

~~~

"EDDIE! COME HERE!" Zack screamed, turning the volume up on the TV as Y/N began to sing. Eddie felt like his heart froze on the spot. There she was, looking beautiful as ever. Makeup done to perfection and her hair framed her face nicely. Her face looked soft and angelic. Nothing like the bitterness in her tone as she sang with anger and betrayal.

Eddie felt his stomach drop at the guitar she was strumming. The same guitar they wrote their song together on. The guitar used to have pictures of him in the neck, but now broken hearts filled the empty space.

"Been fantasizing and crying, been romanticizing

About all these boys who ain't never gon' like me

I don't know why I thought it would be different this time

Thought you'd be the one, but you're one of those guys

Can only blame myself, I made it up in my mind"

Eddie hated the sad look in her eyes. Hated that she blamed herself for simply liking a boy. Blaming herself for falling for his lies and tricks.

"See! You did Eddie boy! Here she is singing live, broadcast all over the world, singing that she thought you were different. Maybe we'll put you in acting next." Zack snickered. Eddie hated the way Zack had zero empathy for anyone. Y/N never let the fame get to her, she was real and always felt everything she had with every emotion.

"I guess devourin' all the power is all you've ever known

You're sittin' on an empty throne

Do you get off from holdin' me from my potential?

Are you scared that I might bruise your ego?"

This is the first time Eddie allowed himself to listen to the whole song. He was a coward, and he was scared to face her. He was scared of what she felt and how much she hated him.

He wished he could explain that everything he felt with her was real and that he wished he never made the deal with the devil next to him. He didn't want to be alone, and he hated knowing he was at the top from stomping on her. She was suffering at the bottom while he basked in the glory.

"Thinking of good lyrics?" Zack asked, watching as Eddie stared intensely at the screen.

"Yeah. I got the perfect song in mind." Eddie said with a smirk

After her performance, she moved on to the interview. Eddie was curious as to what would be asked and how she would answer.

The interview started relaxed, the interviewer was polite and asked about Y/N's career and upcoming work. Then moved on to the reason for the song.

"Is it true that you and Eddie broke up because he was using you for fame? The fans believe your song paints that picture. Any thoughts on that?"

"Well, I think the title speaks for itself. But yes, we broke up because he was in it for the name. If honesty means telling you the truth, I mean." She laughed at the end, and Eddie felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. The world knew he was a shallow asshole, but he deserved it.

"Were you ever worried about that? Or had suspicions?"

Eddie wanted to shrink in his spot, remembering how desperate he was to lie to her and have her believe him. How he made her sound crazy for thinking he was out for blood.

"Yes, in the very beginning. I am suspicious of everyone and funny enough, he was the one that made me realize that. When we met he said he had no idea who I was, so I believed him. He didn't look at me like he knew who I was, almost like he was trying to see in me, see the color of my soul. So I thought he was different, he gave me a million reasons to believe it. All his reasons were lies."

But they weren't, and Eddie wished he could get her to believe that. But he lost his place to make her believe his words. There was no trust between them anymore and he was to blame for all of that.

~~~

Eddie focused on writing the perfect song, something that would grab everyone's attention and make her curious enough to listen to it. It was the only way he would get her to talk to him.

Eddie recorded the song and sent it out before Zack could stop him. Eddie wanted to write his side, and his side meant admitting his guilt and regret.

The media jumped on immediately, dissecting his lyrics and quoting them on social media. He smiled at some of the reactions, people still hate him but he was happy he got some respect back from her fans.

" HE ADMITTED HE WAS IN LOVE! @Y/Nmusic!!!!"

"HE QUOTED HER. HE WATCHED THE INTERVIEW"

"Why do I forgive white men so easily? This song has me hoping they make up"

The buzz would catch her attention, he knew it would.

~~~

"Find it hard to say I'm sorry

But I'll make it up to you somehow

I guess we lost our focus

And it's killing me that we could go to war like this

But I'm standing here with you just tryna be honest

If honesty means telling you the truth

Well I'm still in love with you"

Y/N hated that she listened to the song. She hated that her eyes stung hearing him say he was in love with her. She wasn't sure if it was another lie to make sure he looked good or not.

Her fans were quoting his song with their comments. Her feed was covered in him and his stupid voice. She felt bitter that everyone was quick to forget all the pain he caused. She needed to remind herself too.

"will you tell me anything I wanna hear to control how you're perceived?"

She hit the post with a small smile. Fans already blowing up her post and putting his name in the comments. He was quick to dm her and she felt scared to open it. She blocked his number so she could avoid his words, knowing she was too weak to stay away.

"Nothing makes up for what I did. I will do anything I can to show you that I want you over any career. I'm sorry and my feelings for you are real. I am in love with you, I was since the start and there were so many times I wanted to tell you the truth and save you from the pain I knew that would come. I've been selfish. It's time I show you that I want you for you."

She felt herself typing before she could stop herself. "Want me? You say that as your manager writes you a big check. A career that would be nothing without me."

"How can I prove this to you? I will leave the label altogether if it proves that I want you way more."

Y/N stared at the message, leaving his text on seen as she shut off her phone. She didn't know what to think. Did she love him? Would his leaving prove anything to her? Could she even believe that he would do it?

Her head snapped up at the sound of her tv-

"Eddie Munson has dropped his management team and label with a tweet:

"I'm picking the girl. Fuck my management and the label"

Tags!

@lolz-0110 @gaysludge @hmcmlfcyy @omgvirtualcupcakecollection-blog @bibieddiesgf @holyheadharpies99 @bakugouswh0r3 @cloudroomblog @emma77645

@bmunson86 @mxcheese @ladymunson @michaelfuckinglangdon @z0mbie-blah @biittersweet @mirrorsstuff @slightlyvicked @micheledawn1975 @ago-godance @magnificantmermaid @tlclick73 @hargrovesswifee @cityofidek @manyfandomsfanvergent @silky-luxe @lokiofasgard616 @loving-and-dreaming @eddiemunsonsbitch69 @thegemaqua @ashlynnkennedy @strangerthingsstories5255 @harringt8ns @pleasinghellfire @whoscamila @stusdollface93

[foxes-that-run]

Sorry if this question has been answered a thousand times! But yes, I do really want to know where T was April 29th!!! Can you give more information on this story?

There are previous posts on it in 2016 timeline, song analysis' for I did something bad, and @tameimpala222's post on Calvin Harris' Ole.

Do you really want to know where I was April 29? 

This high infidelity line could be as much to fans as to Calvin. Like Dear Reader, it says to fans how some see Taylor in a narrow idealised way

OK, but what happened?

Set up:

Taylor and Calvin had been on pretty rocky ground. There has been rumours that he had been unfaithful, that Taylor was jealous of yachtgate and that Calvin was jealous of that jealousy.

Taylor won Album of the Year on 16 February and in Miss Americana said she felt alone and had no one she could call. (21 Minutes)

Harry and Kendall started the year with Yachtgate 6 January. Kendall was in Europe and didn’t go to Harry’s birthday party on the 21st and they arrived and left separately Jeff’s birthday 23 January so hendall was over then. They weren’t seen together for months apart from a pap walk that promoted KUWTK.

Harry was in LA at the same time. He wore this blue Hawaii st Laurent shirt on his 22nd birthday, also the day of the feeling 22 tweet which went viral. Taylor tumblr likes Holy Ground lyrics about falling apart. Taylor was in LA but not seen. 2 weeks later he wrote Sweet Creature which is a love song, but also references seeding doubt in a love interests' partners mind.

At this time, Calvin also started writing a diss track (Ole) about a guy (Harry) who ignores his GF (Kendall) for someone else (Taylor) who is a fake girlfriend to the subject (Calvin), the video shades Hendall and Haylor.

28 February - 29 April

Harry and Taylor then started hinting at hooking up, or wanting to. On 28 February Taylor looks stunning and alone at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, Harry tweets Elvis lyrics about not being over an ex and posted a colour photo to instagram (it had been B&W since OOTW came out unless he saw Taylor).

Taylor and Calvin posted about the 1 year anniversary a week later and spent 3 days with backgrid in the Bahamas. Harry went back to London and looked grumpy getting a parking ticket that week. :/

But then it seemed back on 25 March when Taylor and Harry return to LA the same day 👀 and are seen around LA separately.

On the 3rd April Taylor and Calvin are hostile at the iHeartRadio awards, blinds they fought in the pap walk.

The end for Tayvin was at Coachella/Bleachella/TIWYCF when Calvin didn't give Taylor credit for This is What you Came for. A year later there was a blind item that TIWYCF was about who Taylor was having an affair with (in hindsight it’s really Haylor), to me this helps explain why it went so bad over it.

Harry again tweeted Cars lyrics about being with an ex that you love no matter what And then finally, as well known Taylor went to Gigi's birthday party on the 28th, and did not show up for promo for TIWYCF, neither Harry or Taylor are seen on the 29th.

The next Day Harry is still in LA in a walk of shame to a Gym and Calvin goes on Radio to say she isn't working.

Alas it didn't work out for either couple, Tayvin imploded. Harry went to Europe to shoot Dunkirk then record HS1 and Taylor was looking for someone to be with her all the time and publicly move on from the Tayvin disaster. You know the rest.

For bonus the promo Taylor was a no show was possible this interview with Calvin had Nick Grimshaw, AKA Harry's close friend and long term maker of lighthearted Haylor jokes, in Calvins house on April 29 2016!

Later references

What makes this and interesting comment on Taylors fans thinking they know everything is that it wasn't known.... Were it not for Ole and Kiwi's videos that is!

Later in 2016 Calvin released Ole that references outfits Taylor, Kendall and Harry all wore in this period and Calvin posted to instagram wearing Harry's exact shirt from February.

Harry recreated Taylors look from this party in the protagonist of the Kiwi music video, which refers to when Taylor said at 2015 Oscar’s she was “going home to the cats” and Calvin (prick) "When she's alone, she goes home to a cactus (Uh) In a black dress, she's such an actress"

And finally, for irony and lols:

On 29 April 2017 (the 1 year anniversary of this high infidelity) Harry got papped wearing the same shirt.

In September Capital FM used the photo Calvin's used to troll Harry and Taylor in an article calling him a 'baller'. Harry has a leaked song from this era, Super Pretty with the line "Said you're happier with that big baller that we both knew growing up"

And it still continues in when Harry's friend Roman Kemp presented Calvin with Harry Styles Bathwater at the 2024 Brits.

Joe Alwyn, the Bowery Gastropub & Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk "reshoots"

A Reddit and Toe-Tumber version of this story is:

Joe was in LA for BLLHW reshoots and was with co-star Garrett Hedlund, who's friends with Caleb Followill who is married to Lily Aldridge who was at Gigi's party where we know Taylor was. There is a pub named the Bowery Gastropub on Sunset and Vine so of course Taylor met Joe there because 6 degrees of separation. It somehow makes sense that Tayvin continued and Hiddleswift happened and that she wrote in the lover journal that Toe started dating 3 months before January.

Issues with this story:

This story hinges on a screenshot from an office assistants LinkedIn claiming to have worked freelance on reshoots for the film for 2 months March and April 2016. If you search the words in the screenshot the Linkedin profile does say that. However if you look at profiles for editors, videographers and producers on the film they all ended mid-2015. Perhaps the freelance office assistant was working on a different film, or listed the wrong task.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk had no reshoots. They had no budget for them and shot specifically to avoid them. It was also not shot in LA.

Footage for the film had already been debuted on 16 April 2016. They were definitely not still shooting a low budget film 2 weeks later when it was being screened and was released in November

Joe was in London on 20 March 2016. There is no reason to think Joe was in LA.

Joe and Garrett Hedlund did attend the Met Gala - however as a C/B lister Garrett would not have a plus one, more likely he was Lily's plus one!

Caleb Followill, and his brother and bandmate Nathan Followill go way back with Harry - Nathan has a matching tattoo of the other half of Harry's broken heart tattoo! Harry (and Taylor) were at a Calab Followill's 2015 birthday party when they were last seen together. If the Followill connect/ Bowery gastropub is true at all, it was not a no-name friend of a friend who was in London! 😂 It was a BFF who was in LA and flirting with his ex-GF.

This mental gymnastics to fit Joe into a story that three artists have described is a good example of how swifties want to keep Taylor in a defined perfect box, which she wants out of. It reminds me of this quote she gave Rolling Stone in 2014, about the snowboarding accident and OOTW:

"People think they know the whole narrative of my life, I think maybe that line is there to remind people that there are really big things they don’t know about."

[pandoa]

"what a waste of a lovely night"

circumstances leave you stuck with leona on a night with sights made for romance. shame you and the prince have no interests in each other in that way, though. right?

~leona kingscholar x gender neutral reader~ based and inspired by la la land's "a lovely night" scene !!

i basically just wrote leona and the reader into mia and sebastian's parts in this scene from la la land lol. can you tell i'm going through brainrot?

“Just so you know, you’re not my type.”

Reluctantly grumbling into the setting sky of the streets in the Isle of Sages, Leona Kingscholar had walked on carefully—making sure to keep a safe distance away from you—as an irritated tone tainted his voice. The gentle, yellow glow of a nearby lamp had illuminated onto the both of you as you and the beastman had tread along the pathway created by a resting neighborhood. Stars had begun to peek from the dimming stratosphere, leaves of trees surrounding you had waltzed with a small breeze gliding it into a lyrical sway, even the lights of homes miles away from you had sparked in a soft luminescence that complimented the gleaming of the lamppost beside you. The night had been perfect. Well, up until you had regrettably bumped into the Savanaclaw housewarden, that is. Seriously, how did you two end up at the same exact places at the same exact times? It’s happened before and was completely uncanny at this point. You had grown tired of this sick joke with fate. Turning to Leona, you proceeded to give him a sour look as you both had followed the path back to the college after spending the hours of daylight on your own separate adventures. Lamenting quietly on your own, you found that all you wished to do was return to Night Raven and forget that this night had ever happened.

But that would be proven difficult if you and Leona had both been traveling towards the same place, yes?

A sarcastic scoff escaped your mouth at the arrogant man’s assumptions. “Really?” defensively shooting an arm up to your chest, another arm had crossed with your other in retaliation, “Cocky for you to assume that I want anything to do with you, Kingscholar. I think I’ll be the one to make that call.” 

Leona dryly laughed at your comment as he caught sight of your own gaze pointed directly at his form. Your eyes trailed from top to bottom, appearing to be deeply analyzing the housewarden, as he took note of the way you had never failed to maintain a stable reach away from him—close enough to acknowledge that you both were walking together, but not so close that your shoulders would gradually touch. The third year’s head had turned away from your glances, smirking to himself as he still felt your eyes following his, ��Then quit staring. Didn’t whoever raised you tell you to never stare at people? It’s rude.”

“Oh, my apologies,” you breathed, teasingly poking at the man’s shoulder, “I was just glaring at that wrinkled polyester suit of yours. Didn’t whoever raised you say to never take a cat nap in the middle of nowhere?”

Leona halted at a bench, deadpanning at the banter he had enabled himself, “... It’s wool.”

“Whatever.”

A strangely peaceful silence then befell each of you as you rested your exhausted feet at the pathway’s concrete bench. The sky above had shown off colors of pink, scarlet, rose, orange, and gold, all while being dim enough for it to not overshadow the lights of the isle’s villages. Lanterns scattered all over the land and left a silver shine that stretched to the shores of the island. Constellations shimmered like diamonds trapped in the atmosphere. The moon became an enigma of fluorescent rays among the trees of the empty streets. A perfect view crafted just for two.

“The sky really is pretty tonight,” you sighed aloud, gaping at the plethora of shades within the nightfall. “Shame I’m stuck with you of all people, though. Sights like these are made to create feelings for lovey-dovey couples, y’know,” you added as a matter-of-factly.

“Yeah, well, I’m not exactly thrilled about this either, (Y/n),” the lion-like prince snarked back. If you were going to act that way, then so would he. He held a burning hate for you anyway, so there was simply no trouble for him to do so. 

Although the unnoticeable tinge of rose that formed on the man’s cheeks said otherwise.

With the only sound playing through the night being the lively owls perched on numerous branches, another moment of silence crossed you and Leona as the two of you had watched the sights unraveling before you. Leona had sat beside you by now, and you felt an unusual pull at the depths of your heart as a nervous sweat started to form from the way he carelessly scooted closer to you—with your gaze looking anywhere but Leona’s way.

The third year, trying to swiftly shake off an odd fluttering sensation within his own stomach, then arched his body back and yawned, feigning relaxation, “You feeling anything?”

“Fortunately, no.” A warm shade of heat proceeded to flow to your face. 

Leona then brought his attention back to the glistening lights of dusk, stars reflecting back to the irises of his eyes, “Right. Same here.”

“It’s just a waste of a lovely night.”

a/n: the more i write for leona, the more i start to think whether i'm just in denial when i say i don't like him-

[yeonboy]

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐲 ♡ choi beomgyu.

He aches to be the one you would have snuck off with; to be the one you would want to share secret kisses with. He aches. And in that moment, he realizes his feelings have gone too far. They have caused him to stop being a true well-wisher to you; he is being selfish. He needs to take a step back. Or, Choi Beomgyu is head over heels in love with his best friend – and she simply doesn’t feel the same. 

❧ choi beomgyu x f. reader | 16+ | college!au ♡ best friends!au ♡ unrequited love!au ♡ angst ♡ drama.

❧ 4.7 k words

❧ warnings! profanity, an extreeeeeme amount of pining, one-sided feelings, unrequited love, jealousy, heartbreak, some self-deprication, one (1) mention of drinking and partying, one (1) mention of making out, maybe an innuendo or two! mostly just buckets full of mopey, pining gyu </3 and a hopeful (?) ending (:

❧ note! i wrote this because i was listening to m5’s whiskey and crying and thinking of gyu so take that how u will </3 please note that the lyrics are there just to set the tone, not to be taken too literally. i just love this song, man. please don’t hate me for the ending, i changed it thrice and then settled on this. it just felt perfect to me this way :”) also! pls excuse the lack of dividers, tumblr won't let me add them without hiding the post from the tags for some reason :/

❧ masterlist | inbox ⁘

i never knew that love was blind; till i was hers and she was never mine…

“So, I have a question for you.”

Beomgyu blinks at your words, letting the steel straw escape his lips as you pull his strawberry milkshake away from him. 

In fascination, he watches the way your lips wrap around the shiny tube in the exact place where his own had been. You slurp once and pull away, leaving a tint of pink – pinker than the drink, pinker than Beomgyu’s cheeks, pinker than the love-goggles that are permanently on his eyes when he’s with you – on the edge of the straw.

“Gyu?”

He wants to wipe that pink away with his lips, so bad. But your hand comes in with a tissue to clean that precious speck of your lipstick away, before he can even blink a second time.

Now he blinks again and looks up at you. God, you’re so gorgeous with your brows all furrowed and lips all pouty. He is so thoroughly ruined by you. Why does he continue to subject himself to this torture instead of keeping his distance like a sane person? 

He doesn’t fucking know.

“Y–yeah? What question?”

“A hypothetical one. Very important, nonetheless.” You stare into space with your eyes squinted, perfect cheekbones reflecting the light from the evening traffic beyond the glass walls of the cafe you’re seated in. “If long time BFFs happen to develop feelings for each other, should they confess?”

Beomgyu chokes on air, freezing like a solid block of ice.

What did you just ask?

“You know… Just imagine! Two people who have been the best of friends for ages. And then one of them realizes they’re in love with the other.” Your rounded eyes turn to him with a hint of worry in them. “Should they confess and live their dream? Or should they take this secret to their grave and protect their friendship?”

Beomgyu is a mess. 

Why the actual hell are you asking him that? Him – the one guy in your entire life that doesn’t have to imagine this specific situation because he’s been living it for years, now?

Now, he’s not panicking because he thinks you might have figured him out and are trying to pave a path to confession. No, he's self-aware enough to not be deluded. And his panic kinda stems from this very fact. 

He's self-aware enough to know that while he's looking at you and daydreaming of a picket fence and good-morning kisses, your mind is stuck on someone else. Choi Soobin. Older than him, taller than him, cuter than him. Guy checks all boxes of the type of guys you like so well, Beomgyu wonders if Soobin is the reason why you created those boxes in the first place.

So he's scared out of his mind that you're paving a road to confess to Soobin.

“Wow, aren’t you super helpful this evening?”

Your whine of frustration pulls him out of his spiral. He clears his throat and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know, man. That’s a very subjective question.”

“Subjective?” You tilt your head in thought and Beomgyu dreads the next words you would say before you have even formed them: “Okay, let me answer it subjectively first then! Like, imagine if you had feelings for me. I wouldn't want you to confess them to me, like, ever.”

Ouch. Not that he plans to ever confess them to you, but still pretty ouch.

Slightly hurt, he drags his milkshake back to himself and slurps away the rest of it before smacking his lips and shaking his head. “Well then subjectively, it’s the complete opposite for me.”

You look at him with an extremely confused frown. “But what if I lose the friendship because you don't feel the same?” 

This hypothesis is making him lose his damn mind. 

“I… well, what if we lose the chance to be something much more amazing just because you were scared?”

Moment of introspection: he hopes to all the powers in the universe that he isn’t losing the chance to be something much more amazing with you just because he’s scared. You don’t like him like that, you won’t ever like him like that. 

He’s being smart and self-preservative. Not scared.

You're lost in thoughts for a moment, and then you suddenly get up with a jump. Grinning at him, you lean down to peck his cheek and rush out of the cafe before he can even fully absorb the warm brush of your lips against his skin. “You're the best, Gyu, thank you so much!”

In a daze, he brings his fingertips to brush against the apple of his cheek. 

Why did you run away like that? Why did you sound so excited? Fuck, are you going to confess right now? 

He pulls his fingertips away. 

They are pink.

yeah i was reckless, but i let it burn; i let it burn, yeah…

“And if they show up hand-in-hand, then what? Then what, huh, Tyun? It’s easy for you to say I’m overthinking, but you aren’t thinking nearly enough!”

Kang Taehyun, the university’s Student Council member who is in-charge of overseeing the set-up for tomorrow's inter-uni basketball game – and also Beomgyu’s best friend of fifteen years – rolls his eyes so hard, it’s a wonder they don’t fall out of their sockets.

“Why do you keep setting yourself up for more pain, man? Why don't you try to invest these emotions somewhere they will be appreciated?”

“I can't just compel myself to start or stop feeling, dude…”

Shin Ryujin suddenly appears behind the bleachers that the two of them were covering with a banner, both hands planted in the back pockets of her jorts. They should look incredibly lame, but she somehow pulls them off. 

Beomgyu looks at her with wide eyes, wondering how much she heard.

“Yo, dumbass! Are you coming to the game tomorrow?” She’s smirking at him but there's a sparkle in her eyes that makes him chuckle at the name. 

“The name's Beomgyu.”

“That's what I said. So, are you coming?”

Beomgyu has actually been trying to think of an excuse to get out his regular movie night with you - and this sounds like the perfect one. He shrugs a shoulder. “Don’t really got any plans, so… Maybe I will.”

Taehyun gives him a weird look because he knows Beomgyu always had plans on Fridays.

Ryujin grins wide. “Perfect! Well, just two requests.”

He squints with interest. “What requests?”

“Wear my jersey! And, uh, don’t bring a date, please?”

She looks extremely bashful while saying the second part of the sentence. Which is somewhat jarring. It’s Shin fucking Ryujin, she eats men for breakfast. Why is she almost blushing?

But then Taehyun is cackling, which reminds Beomgyu of the first request she made. He immediately scowls. “Hey! I’m not wearing your jersey like some groupie!

She rolls her eyes, but her lips are quirked up because he didn’t say no to the second request. And he knows he won’t; you're the only one he ever asks to accompany him to places, and he's only going to the game tomorrow to escape you. 

“Your loss. Just so you know, boys are lining up to wear my jersey…”

Scoffing, Beomgyu goes back to handing Taehyun more pins. “Yeah right.”

“What? You don’t believe me?” Ryujin scoffs. “Watch this - ayo, Heeseung! Wanna wear my jersey tomorrow?”

A screech from the Students Council’s Vice Prez is followed by a high-pitched: “For real? Yes, please, I—” 

“Sike! Haha, gotcha, little bitch!”

Taehyun is doubled over in laughter and even Beomgyu can’t hold in his chuckles at the look of utter devastation on Heeseung’s face and victory on Ryujin’s. She raises an eyebrow when their gazes meet. “See?”

“How much did you pay him for this skit?”

She smacks his shoulder with an irritated whine. “You’re way too fucking cynical for no damn reason, dude. Okay, no jersey - but get a no. 17 placard for me, at least?” 

Rolling his eyes, he finally nods. 

“Great! See ya tomorrow, loser! Bye, Tyun!”

Taehyun waves at her as she leaves, while Beomgyu cups his hands around his mouth to yell out: “The name’s Beomgyu!”

“That’s what I said!”

“Man, it’s been so long since I’ve seen you actually enjoy talking to a girl.” 

Offended to his very bones, Beomgyu gapes at his best friend. “Dude! I enjoy talking to girls! I’m straight! Or did you forget how I threw up that one time when you kissed me during spin-the-bottle in seventh gra—”

“Yes, I remember!” Taehyun smacks him with a scowl on his face. “But that’s not what I meant. Gyu, you only ever talk to Y/N. Or have you not realized that? And look absolutely lovesick and physically pained while doing that.”

“Nahhhh, untrue. It’s just—” He cuts himself off to purse his lips. Taehyun is one-hundred percent correct. “It’s just a little difficult to mask my emotions all the time, but I manage…”

Taehyun just shakes his head in obvious disappointment. Then he tilts his chin up towards the direction where Ryujin is laughing around with some girls from the cheer team. “She obviously likes you a lot. Don’t hurt her.”

“I won’t,” he mumbles, lips forming a pout because this is so confusing. “But isn’t she basically signing up for the hurt if she’s doing this despite knowing where I stand with Y/N?

“Just…” Taehyun sighs. “Yeah, just don’t give her false hope.”

Beomgyu feels like he’s giving himself false hope every single time he talks to you, but what can be done.

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

You end up texting him first, that night, to cancel tomorrow’s movie night. You apparently have “plans” with a friend. 

Bile rises up Beomgyu’s throat at the thought of you finally going on a date with Soobin. 

He can’t get himself to directly ask if that is the case, but fuck, why won’t you tell him? He goes to sleep with a pain in his chest that night.

the feeling it was bittersweet, realizing i was in too deep…

As fate would have it, Beomgyu bumps into you at the very gates of the basketball stadium, the next evening. You look like a dream in your short skirt and varsity jacket.

He feels nauseous at the thought of discovering Soobin trailing behind you with a large drink with two straws, or something.

“Uh… these are your plans?” He says in a way of greeting.

Your eyes widen when you see him, but then you pout. “Yeah! Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be here? We would’ve come together!”

He immediately thinks of his promise to Ryujin and shakes his head. “Ah, actually… Shin Ryujin invited me.” 

Your mouth forms an O, a lost expression crossing your face. He’s never been great at reading people, but with the way his brain gets fuzzy around you, he’s doing an even worse job right now. Because he can absolutely not tell what this look on your face means. 

Right then, the girl herself arrives, a wistful smile on her face. “Thought I told you to not bring a date? And she’s wearing Chaewon’s jersey, hmph.”

“Oh! We didn't—”

You cut him off with a chuckle that somehow sounds a little strained. “Ah, I’m actually here with her sister!” 

Yunjin? He didn’t know you were friends with her… But that means no Soobin, right? Which might mean that no confession happened yesterday?

“Dude, Chaewon’s our Forward and our captain. No hard feelings!” Ryujin throws up a peace sign at you, and the two girls laugh.

After you leave to look for Yunjin, Ryujin stays back, smirking at him. But there’s a distinct look in her eyes that he can, for a change, recognize. Partly because the fuzz in his brain left along with you. And partly because he sees this look in the mirror everyday. 

“I don’t even stand a chance, do I?” She doesn’t sound upset, just… regretful.

Taehyun’s words come back to him. “Ryu, I—” 

“Nah, it’s fine. I knew what I was getting into, Choi.” She smiles, this time, pointing at the ‘17’ placard in his hands. “I’m gonna score a basket just for this, though. Cheer loudly, ’kay?”

she was a lesson – i had to learn, i had to learn, yeah…

Beomgyu had gone to the game only for Ryujin, not for you. He literally came here to escape movie night with you.

Yet, he sits in the stadium with his eyes straying from Ryujin’s great moves as Point Guard, reaching across the court, to land on you. It’s so annoying and makes him feel so helpless, he wants to scream. But there’s something magnetic about your presence that just won’t let him exist peacefully.

Is this how love is supposed to feel? Exhausting and painful at all times?

What adds to the exhaustion and pain is the way you are seated with your eyes bright and teeth on display, Yunjin on one side and…Soobin on the other. 

Though he saw it coming, Beomgyu still finds it really hard to swallow the pain that pricks at his throat at the sight of you giggling into Soobin’s side and looking at the guy with eyes full of a million stars. He tries to seek comfort in the way Soobin seems to reciprocate your happiness, but it’s really hard.

He isn’t even jealous at this point, he’s just tired. If he could stop himself from feeling so much, all the damn time, he really, really would.

The crowd suddenly cheers, drawing his attention away from you – thankfully – and back to the court. And then his eyes widen in surprise. Ryujin stands with her hands braced on her hips, gaze directly directed at him. Well – she said she would score a basket for him and she did. She lifts a hand to point at him, causing a louder cheer to roar across the stadium, and Beomgyu cannot hold back the loud chuckle that escapes him. He raises both his hands up in a double thumbs-up.

Somewhere from three rows below, Heeseung shouts out an expletive at him, but the game has resumed again so everyone around the guy asks him to shut up.

Like clockwork, Beomgyu’s gaze slowly floats back up at the stands, slowly zeroing in towards your seat – only to stop short. You’re not in your seat. And neither is Soobin.

Oh.

Oh.

Now again, Beomgyu should be prepared to face this as well. But he’s once again at a loss.

Unwittingly, his brain conjures up images of you and Soobin finding a secluded, dark corner to make out in. He envisions the brightness he just saw in both of your gazes, imagines the tinkling giggles you would release, pictures the darkening of your cheeks. 

And in that moment, he can’t find it in himself to be happy for you. He can’t pretend to like Soobin. 

He aches to be the one you would have snuck off with; to be the one you would want to share secret kisses with.

He aches.

And in that moment, he realizes his feelings have gone too far. They have caused him to stop being a true well-wisher to you; he is being selfish.

He needs to take a step back.

i used to try to forget her…

“Dude, the one thing I asked of you was to not hurt Ryujin. What the hell do you mean you’re taking her out?” 

Beomgyu pinches the bridge of his nose, almost regretting disclosing his plans to his best friend. But he needed Taehyun to be on his side to make sure he doesn’t chicken out. Although given the tone the guy is using with him right now, Beomgyu’s purpose might be failing either way. 

He puts his phone on loudspeaker, extracting a jacket from his closet to match the blue t-shirt he’s wearing.

“She was awarded MVP for yesterday’s game for the first time in this season. When I congratulated her on it, she called me her lucky charm—”

“Ugh, it’s as if she wants you to hurt her,” Taehyun murmurs and Beomgyu can hear the grimace in his voice through the phone.

“So I asked her if she wanted to celebrate the win with her lucky charm, and she said yes…”

Taehyun gives a sigh. “You literally flirted with her.”

“I did. Weren’t you the one telling me I should focus my feelings where they will be reciprocated?”

“Yes, you should. But do you even feel anything?”

“I do, yeah…” Immense sadness and despair with a brush of frustration. “I feel like I’m gonna have a good time with her.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that.” Taehyun gives another sigh. “Just be smart, okay? Don’t lead her on, Gyu.”

“I won’t, man.”

Settling on a black denim jacket that goes with his jeans and boots of the same color, Beomgyu leaves his dorm in the half a decade old Corvette his parents have permitted him to keep on campus. He’s meeting Ryujin at the cafe, which saves him from spending time in the car with her.

When he enters the cafe, though, Beomgyu begins to wonder if he has somehow offended some higher, superior power by some action of his, for which he is now being punished on the daily.

Because before he can even begin to look around for his date, a giggling Soobin catches his eye. He’s sitting facing the door, feeding spaghetti to his date. 

His date.

You.

Your back is to him, but Beomgyu can still see how you’ve styled your hair in a way that is different than usual. You’ve always complained that your hair is too silky to be held up in an updo—a remark Beomgyu can never understand because he, personally, loves the texture of your hair—and so this complicated bun feels so strange on you.

And the off-shoulder dress instead of your beloved full-sleeves. And the dangling earrings instead of your usual studs. And—

Holy fuck, this isn’t you.

This isn’t you.

Beomgyu is fully frozen in his spot now, stunned and panicked at the same time.

Soobin is on a date – with someone else.

Should he be happy or concerned? 

The sweat accumulating on his palms indicates the latter. 

“Gyu!”

The call snaps his attention to a corner of the cafe, where Shin Ryujin sits with a grin on her face. Pushing his lips up, he waves at her. But his eyes involuntarily swim back to Soobin once more – only this time, both the taller boy and his date, Kim Chaewon, the basketball captain, are looking at Beomgyu with matching smiles.

He doesn’t know how to respond. Or react. His smile is frozen on his lips and his hand is still up in a wave, however, so the couple take that to be his greeting and go back to talking among themselves. And Beomgyu pushes himself to finally walk towards Ryujin’s table.

“I see you already spotted what I was dying to gossip about,” Ryujin grumbles with a scowl when he settles opposite her. 

Beomgyu blinks. “Uh… Soobin?”

“Who?” This time Ryujin is the one to give a clueless blink. But then her eyebrows rise. “Oh, the boy. Yeah, in a way, I guess? But Chaewon, obviously. She’s finally on a date with her crush of a whole ass year.”

What? “O–oh?”

The waiter comes over to take their orders, right then. Beomgyu asks for a club sandwich and beer, while Ryujin chooses an extra cheese loaded pizza and a virgin mojito.

“You don’t want me drunk around you, loser.” She winks at him but her smile is forced enough to make guilt unfurl in Beomgyu’s chest. “Anyways! Chaewon! She’s finally winning at life and it’s all thanks to your girl.”

Beomgyu’s heart jumps up to his throat for multiple reasons.  

His girl? You? Who else could it even be.

He drily swallows. “My…?”

“She was so hard at work during yesterday’s match! Fuck knows what magical words she said to both of them but they finally stopped their cat and mouse chase for good.” A fond look enters Ryujin’s gaze as she peeks past him to look at the couple. “It was sickening, watching Chaewon pine day in and out. Kinda like it is to watch you.”

Ryujin is laughing at her own joke, but Beomgyu’s mind is stuck on the information she just imparted. “Yesterday’s match?”

“Yeah. She arrived with Yunjin, remember? They both sat with Soobin and talked about Chaewon the entire time. Then she said something to Chae during break, and boom – this scardy ass dude was finally asking Chae out at the end of the match!”

Oh, fuck. This is why you were sitting with Soobin yesterday.

You were setting him up with Chaewon. 

This is probably why you have been hanging out with the guy and generally interacting so much with him recently as well.

Wait, was this why you asked him that question about having feelings for a best friend? As far as his general university knowledge goes, Chaewon and Soobin have been best friends since before college.

Oh fuck, indeed.

Beomgyu really blew things out of proportion and let his overthinking mind carry him away.

“Speaking of – when do you plan to confess, Choi?”

Beomgyu scoffs at the question. “Never.”

Ryujin looks genuinely confused at the response. “What? Why?”

“She doesn’t feel the same, Ryu. And she’s my best friend. I can’t risk it.”

“How do you know she doesn’t feel the same?”

That’s – an odd question. One that Beomgyu feels like should be very obvious to answer, but when he opens his mouth to do just that, he has to shut it back again. Because ‘I just know’ is going to sound as stupid out loud as it does in his head. 

But then what else does he have? He thought you had feelings for someone else but that was obviously not the case. 

“I… I mean isn’t it obvious? She would’ve hinted at it… said anything at all if she felt anything…”

The moment Ryujin narrows her eyes and clicks her tongue, he knows he messed up. “Like you have? You’re sitting on your hands, too, dumbass. Does she even know that you don’t go on dates?”

“I’m on a date right now.”

“Keep talking like that and you’ll leave this date with a black eye.”

The waiter arrives with their food, and as Ryujin dives right in, Beomgyu takes a moment to actually think about what the girl has been saying.

You not having feelings for someone else doesn’t automatically imply that you’ve suddenly stopped viewing Beomgyu platonically. Which is why he doesn’t want to suddenly drop his plans of moving on and go back to pining over you.

He wishes for this to be a smooth transition – getting rid of his romantic feelings for you while also staying friends. But if he pays mind to what Ryujin just said, he will block this way for himself.

Because the moment he confesses, it will be a one-way street. You’ll never talk to him again and he’ll be too embarrassed to even show you his face.

Now, of course, he isn’t even considering what could happen if you actually ended up reciprocating – because he’s done enough of that for years now and he’s honestly… tired.

Loving you, as he has concluded time again, is painful and exhausting. He just wants to be happy again.

“How about you stop giving me love advice and start looking for someone new to crush on?” Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at Ryujin, who picks up an olive from her pizza to throw at his face with a scowl.

But then when she dissolves into giggles, sprinkling her happiness and beauty all over him, Beomgyu has to pause to wonder if she doesn’t actually need to look for someone new to crush on.

He offers to drop her off at the end of the date and Ryujin thanks him for the treat. His hands feel a little clammy when she grins at him with a tilt of her head, short hair flying up with the wind.

“Will… will I see you again?”

“Uh, yeah? You see me everyday, dumbass.” Ryujin gives a chuckle but it doesn’t sound natural.

“No, I mean – like this. On a date.”

Her shoulders deflate and her smile leaves her face. Pursing her lips, she looks at him in what could only be defined as disappointment. “This wasn’t a date, Beomgyu. And I won’t be your rebound.”

He’s not asking her to be – except, maybe he is. He doesn’t know anymore.

She seems to know more than him because she gives him another one of those wry smiles of hers and pats his shoulder. “Tell her how you feel and get out of this stupid limbo. I can be your shoulder to cry on, but not a heart to play with. Good night, loser.”

He truly feels like a loser when she walks away from his car.

but now i smile when i remember.

Beomgyu has heard people talk a great deal about ‘right person, wrong time’ or ‘wrong person, right time’, but he has never felt the gravity of it the way he does now.

You’re sitting on the bleachers with Lee Heeseung and giggling your heart away like he’s the funniest man alive. Heeseung, to his credit, is looking at you with a sparkle in his eyes that rivals the entire galaxy.

And as Beomgyu watches the scene from next to the water dispenser in a discrete corner, the bottom of his stomach feels strangely calm. 

It’s been a week since he had that confrontation with Ryujin. He didn’t exactly take her advice and run to confess to you, but he certainly did drop hints. And he certainly did observe your reactions.

At the end, he ruefully finds himself exactly where he always has been – watching you offer your affections to someone else from afar.

“How long has he been keeping this in?” he asks around a scoff when Heeseung shows you some magic trick and gloats in your excited clapping.

Taehyun hums as he screws the lid of the water dispenser tight and dusts his hands off to come stand next to Beomgyu. “Fuck knows. I think he’s always smiled a little too brightly at her whenever—oh my God, did you see that? Butterfingers! I could see that card from here. Making a joke out of the best card trick in the books!”

Beomgyu laughs at his friend’s grumbles. Then he gives a sigh. “She looks happy, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she does. But I don’t really think she’s on the same page as Lee. Or even you for that matter.” Taehyun settles on the ground and Beomgyu follows his lead. “She’s enjoying her college days like a normal uni student. And maybe you should too, Gyu. Enough of this pining, enough of being in love. Don’t you want to get drunk off your ass and makeout with some ditzy freshman at a party?”

Beomgyu’s horror must show on his face because Taehyun snorts when their eyes meet. 

“Okay, maybe not all of it. But… we’re young, buddy. You’ll have plenty of time to fall in love. Hopefully this time with someone who loves you more?”

Beomgyu watches the way you lean closer to Heesung to whisper something in his ear, and as the guy’s cheeks grow red in response, he frowns to himself. 

“What about all those times when she seemed jealous? Or upset I wasn’t paying attention to her?”

“Dude, for real?” Taehyun punches his shoulder. “You get like that too when I’m not available at your every beck and call.”

Beomgyu slowly exhales, leaning back on his palms and tilting his head up to let the sunlight wash over his face.

He really is stepping out of his delusions, this time.

You don't like him like that. You don't have feelings for him.

You and him are going to remain just friends.

He's finally ready to face the fact and move forward.

“Yo, loser! Wanna play catch?”

He’s smiling even before he has opened his eyes. Taehyun clears his throat in an exaggerated way with his eyebrows raised. “Never seen you grin that brightly in a while, my man…”

He looks around towards the source of the voice, his grin turning into laughter at the evil gleam in Ryujin’s eyes as she hurtles the basketball towards him.

Somehow managing to catch it with an enraged gasp, Beomgyu wastes no time in chasing the girl with it.

Somewhere in his peripheral vision, he notices the way you have cuddled up with Heesung and how the two of you are laughing at his antics with Ryujin.

When he briefly meets your eye, you give him a thumbs up with your grin.

And for the first time in years, he is able to smile back at you without an ounce of pain in his heart.

and i was so young till she kissed me like a whiskey… like a whiskey.

FIN.

© yeonboy 2023 // do not steal, copy or repost. respect your local content creators, kaythanks.

[irwinsblender]

pride month

a/n: wrote this short little pride fic as pride month has now started!! i found these two pics of ash with kind of bi lighting which fits with the story!

pairing: ashton x reader

summary: pride month has started and as you feel more comfortable, you decide it’s the perfect time to come out to ashton

warnings: mentions of homophobia

word count: 1.2k

✩ ✩ ✩

since you were a teenager, you always knew you weren’t like your friends. they had boyfriends, and they did only ever date guys.

you knew you were different from most people you’d seen in movies or tv shows. you didn’t want to only date guys. sure, you had a boyfriend as of right now, but wow did you love women.

when you were sixteen, you came out as bisexual to your friends. they accepted you, until word spread and suddenly the hurtful jokes began and you realised your friends weren’t as kind as you originally thought.

you came out to your parents about a year later, telling them you liked girls as well as guys. your parents didn’t have much to say about it. told you that you were being influenced by the media rather than having a mind of your own.

since then, you didn’t come out to anyone else. not your new friends now you’re a little older, not even your boyfriend knew about it.

you’d been dating drummer and singer, ashton irwin, for a couple of years now. things had been going great. he was caring, supported your interests and different things you did. there would be no reason for him not to accept your sexuality. but, you always had doubts in your mind about it.

you’d been trying to figure out the perfect time to bring it up to him in conversation, but nothing ever worked. either you got too nervous, or the timing just wasn’t right.

until now.

a new year, new month. june to be exact. pride month. the month that you felt most comfortable, the most yourself. you always shared support online to anyone out there the same as you, you were surprised ashton hadn’t figured it out by now.

where you lived, every year there was a fun pride festival lots of people attended. you would never go, either because you were both busy, or because you never got around to asking.

this year may be the first time you had enough courage to ask though. deciding you'd bring it up once he was home from the studio one afternoon.

you’d been preparing yourself for this, going over in your head how you’d ask, how you’d tell him that you’re bisexual. it was hard to not worry that he’d react the same way as your old friends and family.

mid afternoon, you heard his keys in the front door, letting himself into the house as you quickly made your way out of the living room to greet him.

“hi, baby!” you smiled cheerfully. “how was your day?”

ashton pulled you in for a hug and a sweet kiss before stepping back to answer.

“it was good,” he slipped his shoes off, following you back to the living room. “got some more lyrics down with a few guitar pieces.”

“that’s great, ash, i can’t wait to hear it.”

you both sat down on the sofa, ashton could almost tell you had something on your mind. especially going by the half nervous, half excited expression on your face.

“how have you been today?” he asked you.

“i’ve been good, but, um, there’s actually something i wanted to talk to you about,” you paused, shuffling to face him slightly. “you know that pride festival that happens every year?”

he nodded.

“how would you feel about going to it this time?” you popped the nerve wracking question.

he didn’t seem to think anything of it at first, the pride events were always great in your area, super fun. everyone loved them.

“sure,” he nodded. “are we going with one of your friends?”

he was referring to a friend who had been out for a while now. most likely asking because he wonders why you’d want to go if neither of you are part of that community.

“um, no, it’s um—“ you cut yourself off, taking a breath. “i want to go, because i’m… bisexual.”

it’s quiet for a few seconds, ashton taking in what you just said. however, he didn’t seem annoyed, mad, or upset with you.

“so.. you like both?” he asked. “is this why you always go crazy every time we watch the winter soldier?”

a smile grew on his face, as it did on yours. he’d noticed before. instead of not accepting you, he’s asking questions, trying to understand.

“yea, it is,” you tucked your hair behind your ears, a few nerves still there.

“now it makes more sense why you wanna go to the pride festival,” he laughed. “how long have you known for?”

“since i was a teenager,” you fiddled with your hands, not knowing how he’d take that. “i wanted to tell you, but i was worried about how you’d react.”

hearing that you’ve known since then, something clicked in his mind, “wait, this is why you don’t speak to your parents, isn’t it?”

you nodded, sighing. you’d never told him that before, but now he knew, there was no reason not to.

“they never accepted me, told me once i was older i’d realise it’s not normal,” you paused, ashton moving closer to place his arm around your shoulders. “once i moved away from home, it was like a breath of fresh air, people we’re friends with being out, you and the guys getting involved in pride events. i felt like i belonged.”

“you like who you like,” ashton sighed. “your parents are just narrow minded, anyone who doesn’t understand are narrow minded.”

you were happy he seemed okay with all of this. although, now you’ve told him you like both men and women, you wondered if it would make things different between you.

“is this gonna make things weird?” you asked, ashton frowned at you.

“weird? why would you being bi make things weird?”

“i don’t know,” you looked down. “just because im dating you, and now you know i like girls too—“

“that doesn’t make things weird, baby,” ashton reassured. “it doesn’t change anything between us.”

“you’re sure?”

“at the end of the day, you’re still you,” he cupped your cheek in his hand, caressing his thumb back and forth. “you’re still the same person i’ve known for these past few years, the only difference is that you’ve told me now.”

you smiled, leaning up for a soft kiss. you didn’t know what you did to deserve someone like ashton, but this whole conversation went way better than any scenarios you’d thought up in your own mind. not only does he accept you as you are, he’s acting like it’s not even surprising to him.

“i love you, you know that?” you wrapped your arms around his torso, hugging yourself closer to him.

“i love you so much more, my love,” ashton kissed your forehead. “now we should definitely talk more about this festival, or we can watch—“

“the winter soldier!” you excitedly finish his sentence.

“and please don’t hesitate on talking about any of the characters, or actors,” ashton says. “now you can talk about this stuff as openly as you’d like.”

“you’re the best,” you happily sighed. “thank you for making me feel so… comfortable.”

ashton hugs you tighter, knowing how much this must mean to you, “you’re with better people now,” he rubs his hands up and down your back. “you don’t need to hide anything anymore.”

with that, you felt yourself become slightly emotional. after the way you were treated from your parents and old friends, this is exactly what you’d hoped for and you couldn’t be happier to have ashton in your life.

✩ ✩ ✩

taglist: @hexsdexs @conspiracy-ash @oliviah-25 @superbloomrry @jake-and-johnnies-slut | if you would like to join my taglist, please comment here or see this post

[xhoneygirlxx]

as someone who whole heartedly performs in the car any time a good song comes on, i can’t help but think about Eddie watching you with hearts in his eyes. also if ur not a swiftie, i’m sorry!!! also 18+ minors go away. ________________________

You’re in the passenger seat while he drives to wherever your destination is for the day. Eddie never lets anyone get the aux when he drives, always making a point that it’s his car so he’ll play his music. But when you ask him so sweetly, he can’t help but say yes, especially when you look so pretty in his passenger seat.

So for the car ride he’ll put up with the mainstream pop music that he doesn’t like, only because he gets a front row seat to you singing and dancing with the biggest smile on your face.

He will never tell you the truth but he actually considers himself a swiftie, especially her folklore/evermore albums, but he genuinely likes her lyrics and how she paints a picture so easily.

Then dress comes on, a song he hasn’t heard yet, and he doesn’t know if he wants to thank the pop singer for this masterpiece or wish her nothing but the worst.

He watches you make a show out of every lyric, leaning over singing to him, like you wrote the song just for him. His heart picks up just a little when your fingers dance up his arm, stomach bubbling with nerves, wishing you weren’t just repeating the words to a song and that you were telling him all of this because that’s how you really felt.

But he really feels like dying when you lean back in your seat, running your hands down your body so seductively.

“Only bought this dress so you could take it off”

The blood really starts to rush to his lower regions when you sing her little gasps. He watches the way your lips part, how you close your eye lids eyebrows pinching together, all while tilting your head back.

“Take it off, ah ah ah”

It’s taken all the willpower in his body to not crash his car, to continue breathing while you tease him with your little show. He wants to rip the radio right out of his car, ban you from ever playing another Taylor swift song, all while ripping his hair out.

God you sound so good, he can just imagine you under him making the same exact noises. He curses himself, he shouldn’t be thinking these things about his best friend, but he can’t help it when he sees the steady rise and fall of your chest every time that part comes on.

When the song is over, you act like nothing happened. When you look back over at him, his face is beat red, jaw clenching, and his knuckles are so white you’re surprised he didn’t break the steering wheel.

Quietly you smirk to yourself, knowing that your little show worked the way you wanted to. You don’t say anything to him, just continue singing to the next song that comes on.

[des-no9]

For the fic ask game! What about 2 and 22? :]

From writing asks here!

talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

Oh boy. Endlessly. I'm very much a writer that goes in and just....writes? and lets the characters take the lead. It's not often I have a set narrative/outline because I know that doesn't happen or work. That restriction on something creative is where much needed structure falls apart for me.

I write a lot of shorter pieces, not much in the way of sprawling novel narratives, so maybe this doesn't come up as starkly as in long form writers. It's probably more smaller and nuance for short form writers (n my experience anyway).

Well actually a big one narratively for Vanquish was I didn't want her to die so soon, or at all mortally (another narrative thread) when she joins Voss, the githyanki and frees herself from Nezarr. But I think she just kind of told me when I was figuring out her narrative and end that no, she was ready to die then. She was tired, sore, but happy.

I feel the same for Voss, so their endings just kind of aligned to me and felt right after she kind of told me "this is what I want". After living two very long lives (relatively) basically for someone else, they get to have these short last years as theirs and they don't need anymore.

It felt really poignant especially for Vanquish as her whole initial fear was her mortality, death and her loss of control over it, and its what got her in such a horrible situation. So it just feels right and nice and makes me emotional haha.

Sorry for rambling like fuck and getting very emotional lol.

describe your writing process from scratch to finish.

Hah oh boy okay.

Okay well, fellow neuro diverse and mentally unwell writes may understand your head also just constantly being on fire with ideas and narrative threads and characters.

The reason I pick a certain one can be anything from: catharthis, just the need to write, spite, horny, prompt, unexplored part of a char, what if what if always what if (why I love rare pairs and side chars), and ofc just the general exploring the fucked up and unknown.

Okay first of all I need: music for the vibe of what I'm going to write. Lately actually ambient 10hr background noise audios have been saving my life. Particularly these two. Cyberpunk 9hrs rain. Cozy cyberpunk loft in the rain 10hr. They've been constant lifesavers for writing lately. I've been finding a lot of lyric songs overstimulating and distracting for writing. I need tea if I'm going to settle in and write something longer. Always.

I often write my shorter things these days in StimuWrite, just opening it up and going for it. For me it has the same feel of writing directly into the tumblr text box which increases my output somehow idk. Having no spellchecker is insanely helpful for me hah. Otherwise I consistently use g-docs, for better or worse. It helps me because I have 4 devices then I can write on, and I can write anywhere on any position (chronic pain wahoo).

I edit as I go in everything I write though (not always catching the spelling mistakes tho, that's different). Constantly editing structure, word choice as I go. It's just easier for me. I'm not a 1st draft, 2nd draft person. All my work is essentially one draft, edited as I go, then as I finish I go over it again before posting.

I usually write linearly because the things I usually write are quite short. But often lines for future scenes, moments etc will just appear as I'm writing a current one and I just quickly write that at the bottom of the document. That happened twice past two days. I wrote a flashback in the cyberpunk AU fic and the ending of it wrote itself while I was writing the opening, so I just wrote it down quickly a few spaces down, then continued writing, editing it slightly into the context of what I ended up writing that followed.

Exact same thing happened writing an Orpheus/Voss yesterday. Ending few lines just wrote themselves as I was writing another line so had to throw them down. Then I wrote the rest of the fic.

For longer things I won't always write scenes in order. Sometimes I'll just write things and shuffle them around. I don't need constant 'seamless scene transitions'. I'm confident enough im my writing and my readers that they can understand what's happening. And this fic is a series of vignettes anyway. Snapshots of various people's lives. It fits the vibe.

When something's finished, if it's something longer, or something professional or for a zine, I'll let it sit for a few days, longer. I need to step away from it to come back with fresh eyes. It helps me edit more objectively, critically, and just help notice dumb shit I did that I maybe wouldn't have if I didn't give myself that break away from it.

For shorter things though, often I just write, edit/proof, immediately post. Sometimes I know there are things I just need to get out there and not worry about, just get out my system, just be stress free, or things I need to stop looking at and let it go.

Thank you so much for the ask love!!! This was very fun !! <33333 sorry it's so long omg hope you enjoyed reading

[writtingsomestuff]

WHENEVER, WHEREVER

Before you start reading I just wanted to say that this is the first time I ever write for a “public”, we could call it like that. Also, English is my fifth or sixth language, in case you find an error or various. 

This is any footballer x fem!reader (I hope it’s right) 

- I hope you enjoy it and any type of comment is welcome 

- It is weird because I just thought about it and wrote it down 

- Any footballer but Piqué, it would be weird if you did

[I am not trying to own or appropriate any of Shakira's songs (or her teams'). "Whenever, Wherever" is not my song and neither did I write the lyrics.]

WHENEVER, WHEREVER

He was coming down the stairs when he heard the music that you were playing out loud. It felt weird when he woke up and could not feel you between his arms and that is why he started to search for you. 

He quickly knew where you were as soon as he was able to hear properly and his brain started to function. That song was very familiar to him, to both of you actually, but maybe it meant more to him.

He saw you there, dancing with the spatula on your right hand and your left arm up, following the rhythm of the song. 

Two years ago

You both were having the fun of your life, especially you. You just finished uni finals two weeks ago and both of you started to date a few months ago, none of you said “I love you” yet, it was a relationship between two adults who liked each other.

You were looking at him, in his eyes, smiling and moving your body shyly to Shakira’s song. Your chairs were touching as he held his glass that was right next to yours. The ambiance was perfect to define a late summer night, everyone was happy and enjoying life the best way they knew, your friends were dancing on the floor, while you decided to sit down and  enjoy the party more calmly with your boyfriend. “Boyfriend”, pretty weird for you, right? First time having a partner and him being a well known footballer, that is something that you never expected, a real plot twist in your life. You have not changed since you met him but he surely showered you with affection, you blushed every time he called you “beautiful” and you felt a whole zoo in your stomach every time he held your hand, you could melt just by seeing him trying to make you laugh with a bad joke, and you could cry because he truly took care of you.

That night you looked very beautiful, not just because he told you so but because you felt happier and you truly liked the outfit and the make up.

He was directly looking at your lips, without shame, while you were lip syncing Shakira’s “Whenever, wherever”, ‘Think out loud, say it again’ you followed the song word by word, without any mistake, you could prove that you probably learned all of her songs by heart. He gave you a small smirk, he truly felt happy, seeing you finally relaxed and for being able to spend more time with you. It was a very loud party, but you were in your small bubble, enjoying each other’s company. You laughed a bit as you could not follow her famous 'Le-ro-lo-le-lo-le' and kept lip syncing the song, and when you followed her words: 'Tell me one more time that you'll live lost in my eyes' he knew it, it hit him. He was completely and entirely lost in your eyes, not just your eyes, he was lost in the whole of you, he was mesmerized by you, almost as if you put a spell on him that attached him to you for the rest of your existence. He was in love with you, entirely in love with you.

Present

You were there singing that exact same song that told him that he was in love with you. It was not a calm, relaxing or slow romantic song, however, it told him.

He hugged you from behind, sliding his warm arms on your cold belly, he almost swore that you were wearing the same top you did that night, it was not but it was quite similar. It surprised him that two years later he remembered every single detail and every second of that night. He thought about writing it down as he was scared about ever forgetting even a millisecond of that night.

He kissed your cheek as you gave him a smile, one of sincerity and love. He then, whispering, told you, “I do, I live lost in your eyes.” 

[fullmetalbangs]

Okay but like, will we ever get a moment in episode 7/8 where Uzi will bring up the fact that V called her by her actual name for the first time before V sacrificed herself??? Like please I NEED TO KNOW UZI'S REACTION TO THAT I NEED IT 😭😭😭

Pookie, it’s been a while, but allow me to try:

Uzi, I trust you.

Uzi…

It felt like her processor was torturing her on purpose. Why did it have to play that exact memory, over and over again? What reason did she have to relive the whole day in her mind, only to find V had been nothing but kind?

Why did Uzi say what she said?

She tried not to think about it, not to see it when she closed her eyes… not to hear it when she tried concentrating on the song echoing through every corner of this complex. Yet she could only think of V’s last words, see her salute and hear the metallic crunches that followed.

Even as the elevator descended downwards - the contraption hissing, creaking and shearing from the speed it was not designed for having - Uzi could not stop hearing V’s voice, comforting her in her last moments, calling her name.

She felt sick. Not just because of the condition her form was in, but at the way she treated V, the one who rescued her, the one who made the ultimate sacrifice for her, despite everything.

Uzi felt sick at herself. She was disgusted by her actions. Thinking rationally was something that the robot had long given up on doing. No amount of nice words from herself to herself would dig her out of the hole of regret she found herself stuck in.

She blamed the tears on her face glitching and turned away from the others. Those two didn’t need to see the state she was in.

The world felt silent for a long time. An eerie silence, that Uzi found nothing if not unbearable. She deeply inhaled, then exhaled (or at least did the robot equivalent of that). Slowly, she heard the song that had played since they’d gotten here. Uzi hadn’t really noticed it before; or maybe she just hadn’t bothered to pay attention to it. Either way, it was a welcome switch from the silence.

Until she heard the lyrics.

Now it not only felt like the whole universe was toying with her in some sick, twisted way of entertaining itself. She hated every second of it. She didn’t want to think about V anymore. If she did, Uzi feared that emotionally, she might never recover from this.

Then at last, just as abruptly as it started, the melody stopped; replaced by a loud crash instead. Uzi looked up.

They had arrived at their destination.

————

It’s been a while since I wrote something, so I hope this is at least somewhat readable!!😖

[rentalboos]

Loml - A breakdown (while I try not to break down because this song is so fucking sad)

Since Swifties continue to be blind to the truth, here's an entire lyrical breakdown for why Loml is about Matty Healy (whether I like it or not - And I do not)

Who's gonna stop us from waltzing Back into rekindled flames? If we know the steps anyway We embroidered the memories Of the time I was away Stitching, "We were just kids, babe"

-> Taylor and Matty had a bit of a will they, won't they situation since they first met in 2014 (when Taylor was 24 - "We were just kids, babe").

I said, "I don't mind, it takes time" I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed

-> "I thought I was better safe than starry-eyed" Throughout the entire album, we get the idea that Joe was her safe option, while Matty was the wild one. Fresh out the Slammer and Guilty as Sin in particular refer to how Joe started to bore her and feel like a prison, while Matty brought fresh wind and passion into her life.

In your suit and tie, in the nick of time You low-down boy, you stand up guy Holy Ghost, you told me I'm The love of your life

I'm sorry, but "you low-down boy" being a reference to London Boy is a reach, when she has explicit songs about London on the album, she's clearly not trying to code anything. Low-down simply means "mean and unfair", it goes along with her calling him a conman later on. She's saying he tricked her with false promises. Matty knew all the things she wanted from Joe but wouldn't get (mainly promises of marriage, kids, etc) and used that knowledge.

"Low-down boy" vs "stand-up guy" is a play on words - he was a low-down boy but he presented himself to her as a stand up guy.

In fact, refers to Matty coming back and telling her he'd changed a couple times, most significantly in this very song, and then again and again referenced to him "needing the drugs more" - So he hadn't changed or put her first at all.

You said I'm the love of your life About a million times

-> This goes hand in hand with what I said above - he made her false promises and then dropped her.

Who's gonna tell me the truth When you blew in with the winds of fate And told me I reformed you

-> Exactly this - Matty told her he'd grow up for her (like she had wanted in "Peter") but it didn't turn out to be true at all. He wasn't "reformed", he still abandoned her at the first sight of trouble, after insisting again and again that she "needed a brave man" (and then proceeded to play him)". She refers to his broken promises all over the album, you guys. When your impressionist paintings of Heaven Turned out to be fakes Well, you took me to hell, too And all at once, the ink bleeds A con man sells a fool a get-love-quick scheme But I felt a hole like this Never before, and ever since

-> "A get love quick scheme".

I don't know how many of you have come out of a seven year long relationship lately, but I can only imagine how scary it was for the woman who literally wrote The Prophecy. Like she said in So Long, London, it must've felt like she wasted her youth on someone who she was never going to end up with. Matty sweeping in at the exact time, promising her security and a love to fall back to, someone who wanted her forever, must've felt like a cheat to her, like using motherlode in Sims, y'know? A get love quick scheme. But he was a conman, he didn't mean it, he ghosted her (as we know from Smallest Man Who Ever Lived.)

Note that she also explicitly says "All at once" - It was a sudden ending, not the long-drawn out goodbye she had with Joe.

If you know it in one glimpse It's legendary What we thought was for all time Was momentary

-> A seven year long relationship isn't "momentary" in any sense of the word or metaphor, by the way

Still alive, killing time at the cemetery Never quite buried

-> This clearly refers to the fact that they were never quite over each other. Peter references this - So does Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus. She waited for him for years and years, changed herself, waited for him to change, waited for the right timing, etc. Never quite buried.

You cinephile in black and white All those plot twists and dynamite Mr. Steal Your Girl, then make her cry You said I'm the love of your life

-> More than one person can be a cinephile. As far as I know, Black & White aesthetic is a big 1975 thing. She references his suit in The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived. I believe the reason she brings it up again and again, is because he uses it for his show - it's a costume. He was playing dress up for her, pretending to be reformed. It's the conman thread coming back.

"Plot twists and dynamites" refer back to him being the "wild" choice over Joe being the safe one.

I've also seen Joe truthers say the "Mr. Steal your girl" line is about Tom, but if you listen to Guilty as Sin, you'll realize he's not the only one who stole the girl. (It's not an active act of the man "stealing" her anyway, as Taylor very much has her own agency. It's an Ivy situation. His ivy grew all over her stone house with Joe - and yes, I'm sorry, I fear Ivy is about Matty Healy too. It's bascially Guilty as Sin in less horny.)

You shit talked me under the table Talking rings and talking cradles I wish I could un-recall How we almost had it all

-> Again, I see people repeatedly point these out to be clearly about Joe, when - no. If anything, we have sufficient proof that Joe avoided these topics like the pest ("I wouldn't marry me either" </3). Matty was the one who put her "ring on the finger people put wedding rings on" (and that's the closest she's come-), he's the one who made all the promises Joe wouldn't make and then broke them all within a month's time. Which leads us to the rest of this devastating bridge!

Dancing phantoms on the terrace Are they second-hand embarrassed That I can't get out of bed? Cause something counterfeit's dead It was legendary It was momentary It was unnecessary Should've let it stay buried

-> It's interesting because she brings up watching the phantoms of her and Matty a couple times, actually. In Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus, she talks about watching his "Hologram", but she also says "can we watch our phantoms like watching wild horses".

So yeah, obviously, this is about all his false promises finally coming to fruition. She's left with nothing but Phantoms and fake portraits of heaven. He left her. It was a momentary thing that felt too legendary to just forget it. She wishes she had left it stayed buried and never found out (You could even say... regretting him was like wishing she never found out that love could be that strong...)

Oh, what a valiant roar What a bland goodbye The coward claimed he was a lion I'm combing through the braids of lies "I'll never leave" ... "Never mind"

-> "What a valiant roar / The coward claimed he was a lion" So people aren't going to like this, but this directly references The Black Dog.

"You said I needed a brave man, then proceeded to play him, until I believed it too // Tail between your legs, you're leaving."

(yes, this song is also about Matty, yes, I'm probably going to break that one down too, because Swifties are even more infuriatingly determined not to see it when it's even MORE obivous).

It could not be made more clear from these lyrics - The person in both songs LEFT HER. If you listen to So long, London, How did it end and You're losing me, you'll find that SHE left Joe. Moreso, their relationship ending was a brutally slow, painful death, while this is a sudden abandoning (Or "desertion" as she so beautifully put it) that she's describing in virtually every song about Matty. Down Bad, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived, My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys, TTPD, Fortnight, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart

Our field of dreams, engulfed in fire Your arson's match your somber eyes And I'll still see it until I die You're the loss of my life

-> He's the arsonist. She's saying it very clearly. He burned all their mutual dreams down ("The magic/tragic fabric of our dreaming").

And for all the people who don't understand why she'd attribute the "loss of her life" to Matty instead of Joe: Not only did she wait for this man her whole life, and in the back of her mind always thought she'd one day fall back with him, he also played a large part in her feeling trapped by her relationship with Joe and feeling safe enough to leave it. She jumped right from that relationship to Matty, then lost both in the span of a month. That's a gigantic loss for her.

She lost the Peter to her Wendy (We know, by now, that Cardigan wasn't all that fictional, right?) and the man she decided to settle for instead ("Better safe than starry-eyed"). She lost all the promises he made her of everything she ever wanted. She lost all the prospects for her future that she thought she had with Joe, then thought she had with Matty, in the blink of an eye. He gave her hope than took it away.

With that context, relisten to The Prophecy. It's so fucking heartbreaking. (Thank fuck for Travis man). I genuinely, truly, think that Taylor did a very intentional, meaningful thing, where the only songs *directly* about and at Joe are So Long, London and How Did It End (aka both track 5 songs).