#like they were so close and i feel like her death would have deeply hurt him so jessica is happy bc she still doesn't really like paige

[paigemathews]

Getting close to the end of that list now, but for the February ficlets prompt:

a charmed one with their ex bf in an unexpected situation (gen, again dealers choice of who)

Pairing: Paige Matthews & Glen Belland

Background Pairings: Paige Matthews/Henry Mitchell & Glen Belland/Jessica Belland

"Paige!"

The call was loud enough that several people looked over in annoyance, but Paige couldn't have cared less. Glen swept her into a hug while she laughed against his shoulder.

It'd been ages since she'd seen him, and so much had happened since. He seemed to agree as he pulled back, hands on her shoulders, and demanded, "You faked your death?"

"I can explain!" Paige immediately exclaimed.

"And were working for Homeland Security? When did that happen? And-" Finally noticing Henry standing behind Paige, he furrowed his brow and nodded towards him. "And whose that?"

Stepping back, Paige couldn't help her uncharacteristically shy smile as she introduced him. "Henry, this is Glen, my best friend. Glen, this is Henry. My husband."

"What?" Glen squawked.

[bunnis-monsters]

See you again

Male!Yandere!Vampire x Fem!Reader

Bunni’s Monstertober Event

Oct 8th

Oct 7th

Oct 9th

summary: when a rich vampire suspects you are a reincarnation of his lover, you have no choice but to return with him to his manor and become his wife.

warnings: yandere behavior, breeding, dubcon, aphrodisiac venom

a/n: sorry this is so late I’ve had horrible writers block lately ><

Moonlight flickered through the stained glass window, casting a multicolored light across your plump frame.

You almost glowed, looking like an angel sent from above.

He had spotted you across the ballroom an hour ago.

The vampire usually never came to such things, but it was a particularly lonely night for him. About 20 years ago, his human lover died in his arms. A plague had swept across the town she lived, and he hadn’t been there quick enough to turn her before the illness took her life.

He had spent all that time in agony, drifting between thoughts of suicide and loathing, to moments of bliss when he’d remember how much he loved her… and she loved him.

Tonight was the anniversary of her death, and he figured he’d drown his sorrows in the blood of the rich and expensive alcohol.

Instead, he found you.

You were sitting at a table, your elegant gown ill fired on your plump frame. Your breasts were absolutely squished by the tight fabric, and his eyes were drab to your fat belly.

If he hadn’t known any better, he would have thought you were her, his love, his everything. You had the same plump frame, eye color, hair the same texture and style…

God you were gorgeous… his pants tightened as he caught a whiff of your perfume.

The same scent she used to use.

He took in a deep breath before approaching you. Maybe a night of fun could… make him feel just a little bit better.

“Hello, beautiful…”

You didn’t look up, assuming he was talking to someone else. This made him pause for a moment before he walked closer and cleared his throat. “My lady, may I have a word with you?”

When your eyes met his, he nearly teared up. He felt an instant spark, his undead heart soaring. You had to be her, no one else had ever made him feel this way before!

“What is it you’d like to speak about?”

He sat down across from you, smiling. “How about you tell me your name?”

The two of you spent the next hour making idle small talk, with him leading most of it. You were shy and soft spoken, much like you had been in your previous life.

You had borrowed a dress from your cousin to attend this party in hopes of finding a decently wealthy husband, an order given to you by your father. That explained why your gown was ill fitting. The man frowned deeply, his fangs threatening to peek out from his lip.

He would be making sure you wore only the finest of fabrics from now on, each dress and outfit custom made to suit your figure. Gods, he wanted to undress you right now more than anything…

But things like this were a process. He didn’t want to hurt or scare you so badly that you tried to flee, and he would rather you home with him willingly. Scaring you would have to wait until you were reliant on him…

So instead he listened to your woes and leaned forward. As long as he could get close enough to your neck to deliver a bite, he could bring you home with him…

“So your father’s business isn’t doing well, I assume?”

You nodded shyly, playing with a bit of lace on your dress. “That’s why he wants me to marry quickly while he still has his status… he hopes that my future husband will support him financially enough to keep the business afloat.”

“How troublesome, being stuck in the middle of this…”

He reached out to caress your cheek, shivering when he made contact with your soft skin. “Mmm… wouldn’t it be nice to get away from it all?”

You were about to say something, but he spoke over you. “Come with me, my love… perhaps I can do something to help.”

Your eyes lit up. He was dressed well, and people seemed to respect him enough to make way for him while you walked through the crowded ballroom to somewhere private! Maybe he could help your father…

But as he closed the door, something shifted. His eyes that had previously been a rich brown in color suddenly changed to be a startling ruby red.

“Oh, how I have yearned for you…”

He was on you in seconds, pinning you to the wall. You couldn’t even scream before his teeth were sinking into your neck, something thick and warm coursing through your veins.

“My venom will help this be a pleasant experience for you, my princess… gods…”

He shivered in pleasure, his bulge pressing into your thigh as he lapped up your blood. “Fuck, I missed you, I missed you so damn much…”

Tears fell down his face, his lips meeting yours in a feverish kiss. His fangs nipped at your tongue, but he didn’t seem to care. The man needed you more than anything.

He held onto you so tightly that your skin began to bruise. It had been decades since he had seen his lover, and going so long without you had been agony. Every night he lay awake, unable to sleep or even exist in peace without you by his side.

And now that he had you back… he wasn’t going to let you go.

It took only a moment for the aphrodisiac in his venom to kick in. Your body grew hot and weak, your pussy drenched within seconds. When he pulled down the zipper of your stress, you wiggled out of it and willingly clung to him.

“S-so warm… p-please… make it better…”

Your soaked panties against his bulge made him hiss. In his twisted, lovesick mind this proved to him that you were her. You wanted him, you loved him!

“Of course…” he purred, stroking your clit through the wet fabric. “Anything for you, I’d gather the stars and lay them at your feet if it meant you’d be happy, my love…”

Seeing your fat pussy for the first time in years was enough to have him rock hard.

Back before you died, you had always wished for children, but he was too stubborn, not wanting it. When he was ready, it was too late and you were gone.

He had regretted it ever since. How he yearned to see your belly swell with his baby, to fill you up with cum and make you a happy mother…

“My pretty girl…”

He rubbed his tip against your entrance. It was flushed an angry red, desperate to feel your gummy insides. “I love you… I love you so much…”

He pushed in, capturing your lips in a kiss as he fucked into your warm cunt. All he wanted now was to cherish and protect you, to lock you away and make sure no one but him got to even look at his beautiful girl.

They didn’t deserve you, didn’t have the honor of laying their eyes on you. Only he did.

He lost count of how many times he came inside of you. The aphrodisiac in his venom had you crying out and blubbering for more, desperate for his touch. It ands his chest will with bride to watch your belly bulge with his cum.

As he road home in his carriage with your exhausted body in his lap, he couldn’t help but rub your fat belly, a fond look in his eyes.

He was getting a redo, and this time he’d give you everything you wanted, treasure you even more than he had before.

And there was nothing you could do to convince him otherwise. You were his, bound to him by fate. Even if you had no memory of this man… it was no use.

You would be with him until the day you died… if he let you.

want more? I thought about expanding on this and making it more of a thought out story… I’ll do it if you send me a kofi! ><

YANDERE TAGLIST: @katerinaval @sunset-214 @avalordream @atransmuter @icommitwarcrimes @bazpire @anglingforlevels @kinshenewa @pasteldaze @unforgettablewhvre @yoongiigolden @murder-hobo @leiselotte @misswonderfrojustice @dij-ology @lollboogurl @h3110-dar1in9 @aliceattheart @mssmil3y @spicyspicyliving @namjoons-t1ddies @izarosf1833 @healanette @lem-hhn @spufflepuff @zyettemoon1800 @exodiam @vexillum-moeru @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @enchantedsylveon @readeryn68 @danielle143 @kittenlover614 @annavittoria-mm @makimamybelovedwife @toocollectionchaos-universe-blog @fruk-you-usuk-fans @wil10wthetree @hammerhead96-blog @slightlyusedfloormat @bubblez-blop @sunshineangel-reads @heroneki-neko @soapybabyboop @sandramalikstyles-blog @anonymouskiwi @pedropascalbabygirl @flamefoxx @swasti8854 @an-ever-angry-bi

[eternity-death]

Penacony Reactions to you spanking them

No TW’s I think. Just sillies being silly. Established relationship with Reader in all these hc’s.

—————

Hanabi

Head snaps 180° at you and you scream.

She’s traumatized you and now you will never do it again.

This doesn’t stop her from getting you back, though. And she’ll do it in public to make it worse. It’s not a one-and-done deal either, it becomes a regular thing.

You’ve just sentenced yourself to a life of sore-booty and humiliation. Was it really worth it?

Black Swan

Stares at you.

Her expression is a little hard to read and the longer she looks at you the more you feel implored to apologize.

She’s not mad though, she’s actually rather amused. And she’s getting even more entertainment by watching you squirm.

Eventually she gives and just chuckles. If you’ll allow her, then she’ll give you a nice tap on the butt too.

Sampo

He does that one goofy (Mickey mouse) scream.

Very animated reaction. Jumps 10 feet off the ground and covers his behind. He looks back at you like a kicked puppy but you know it’s all fake.

Sniffles and says smthn like, “How could you do this to your best bud, Sampo?”

Gets you back when you least expect it. Like you actually scream bloody murder because your guard is down and you can’t hear him sneak up on you bc he’s light on his feet. It doesn’t matter if you’re in public either. Be very afraid.

Aventurine

“Woah! Getting a little frisky, eh?”

If you’ve got something separating you two like a chair or a counter, he will chase you around it to reach you. Spanks you back, harder, with zero hesitation.

He starts tapping your butt as a regular thing afterwards. Almost like a greeting.

“Hey babe.” Then a light slap. When he feels extra mischievous he’ll grab it.

Acheron

You are unable to slap her booty because she catches your hand before it makes contact.

Just kind of looks at you and goes, “What are you doing.”

You explain to her that spanking is a sort of gesture between close companions. She doesn’t quite get it but decides to just go with it.

Later on, when she greets you, she strikes her hand down on your behind so hard that your teeth clatter. She asks if she did it right with such a hopeful tone, that you can’t find it in yourself to tell her that shattering someone’s pelvis is not part of the gesture. (When she does find out that she’s hurt you she apologizes deeply and coddles you)

Dr. Ratio

Lets out a high pitched yelp.

Gives you the most scandalized look and defensively rubs his tush.

“Did you really just do what I think you did?”

Strategizes a way to get you back. He has a blackboard with physics equations for the perfect angle and fall of his hand, pinned papers and calendars with your schedule and his, etc. He’s terrible at hiding his intentions too. When the time comes for his revenge you already anticipate it. What you didn’t anticipate was how strong he was. You guess those biceps aren’t just for show.

Firefly

Why would you ever? What kind of monster are you?

She yelps and just stares at you; hands covering her behind, face flushed, and her mouth agape.

Apologize.

Sam

You have a death wish.

Another one who catches your hand before you can spank. He just puts your hand back in your lap and goes, “No.”

He actually just doesn’t want you to hurt yourself. His… butt… isn’t very soft, you see.

If you want him to, he’ll lightly tap yours back.

March 7nth

Gasps and launches herself at you with full intention of getting you back.

It turns into a chase, where you run in circles around the gazebo until she gets too tired and gives up.

You laugh about it but later forget. Little do you know, March has been scheming ever since.

“AHA!” You feel a harsh slap against your behind and yelp. The vendor you were talking to looks at you and your girlfriend as if you’ve both grown an extra head. She laughs victoriously, “See? I told you payback was coming!”

Robin

“Oh!!!” Gasps and covers herself. She’s a little freaked out at first but once she see’s it’s you she giggles.

You don’t really expect her to spank you back but she does. With the same amount of force that you used.

It kinda escalates into a competition where you two see who can land the most spanks in one day. Just don’t do it in front of her brother.

You’re losing btw.

Sunday

Do NOT spank him in public. He will be very crossed with you. Not funny did not laugh.

You may proceed with the spank if you are in private though.

He actually squeaks when you do. Then once the initial shock wears off he laughs, incredibly amused by you. Doesn’t say it but he plans on returning the favor.

When he does get you back you don’t expect it. You’re probably cooking or marking off the calendar when he passes you and goes, “Good morning, my love.” And then he slaps your butt. Moderate strength, enough to make you yelp but not enough to sting.

[sitaraa--writes]

Hey 😊 would you do a Damon Salvatore imagine where you’re dating but then you leave the house after a fight with him and get in a bad car crash. He feels this and searches for you, just to find you I’m time to save your life. Then he stays by your side, feeling guilty and when you wake up again he’s there taking care of you, apologizes and promises to never let any harm happen to you again? Just some lovely fluff and a bit angsty. Thank you so much 😊

Apology

Summary: Your boyfriend Damon has been acting very possessive and controlling and you get into a huge fight with him. You go out for a drive to clear your head but end up in an accident instead. Damon finds you and takes you home, making up for everything he had done.

ANGST, fluff

Damon being controlling, car crash, reader having a near-death experience

1.5K

A/N: Thank you @imagine-all-the-fandoms for being my first request! I'm so sorry it took forever (this is horrible). Do let me know if this is satisfactory. Happy reading!

Damon Salvatore X Human!Fem!Reader

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

Your boyfriend of two years, Damon, was recently being very controlling and possessive. He started making your decisions for you without bothering to consult you, being unreasonably jealous of any male around you and demanding to be with you at all times, not understanding the healthy concept of giving 'space'.

But this time, it ran deep. He compelled your childhood best friend, Jake, to leave town and forget all about you. You caught him in nick of time otherwise you would've never even known about what happened to him!

Deeply hurt and driven mad with rage, you left the Boarding House for a drive after a few broken objects, wounding words and a heavy heart.

You didn't know how, perhaps you weren't in your right senses, you couldn't hit the brakes and crashed right into a tree. The car flipped over, and your arms twisted at an odd angle. Your limp and now-sore body was fastened with the seat belt, and you couldn't undo it. You were hit badly in the back of your head, and you could feel unbearable burn of a deep gash.

Your senses had perked up under the stillness of the night, and you heard a faint trickle. Then wetness across your back, your head, soon trickling down to your neck. It was a strange fluid --- coppery metallic smell, thick and red with a mud-brownish tinge. It was oddly enticing and familiar. A shiver ran down your spine when you realised it was your blood. Blood, so much blood --- your own. You were losing so much blood, and you could do nothing to stop it. You felt faint and suddenly, the hardest thing in the world was staying conscious.

You were terrified. If you were going to die, then it mustn't be like this. An accident. Your whole life snatched away just because of a mistake. God, you had so many things to do in life. Get a job, travel the world, adopt a cat --- ordinary things but they were your dreams, which now lay shattered. You didn't want your life --- and death --- so unremarkable and ordinary. And while all this time, there was a deep wound of regret in your heart --- perhaps greater than the gash on your head --- to part with Damon.

Sure, he could be such an asshole at times, but you knew that he loves you with all his heart. You didn't want your last words to him be an angry "I hate you". You had never really thought about it, what would be your last words to him. You couldn't breathe at the sheer grief that hit you at the moment. Unable to withstand the blow, you closed your eyes, succumbing to a world of endless darkness, getting lost in your way towards the blue-eyed vampire. And you couldn't do a damn thing about it...

Anger and frustration clouded Damon's mind. It was all hazy, and he was searching for a light. Ah, there it is! Remorse, regret, fear of having losing her. He knew what he did was wrong, but why couldn't she understand? He loved her so damn much, everything he did was tp protect her.

She lived her constant danger because he loved her, and he knew at times that he should let her go, but he couldn't. He needed her to function, she was his damn sanity, and without her, he lost it.

Suddenly, there was this intense urge to go find her, not to waste a single moment. He'll do anything to have her back, she can't leave him. He knew he was unreasonable, ill-tempered and sometimes too controlling, but he couldn't help himself.

He got behind the steering wheel and let his heart lead the way, for it was with her where it truly lay.

He was aghast, devastated, even. Finding her like this, so near to death, he suddenly came to his senses. He was crying, he realised. He never cried. But that's what she does to him --- make him into someone he never thought he could be.

"Y/N, no! No, no, no!" he wailed, feeling utterly helpless. He undid your seatbelt and somehow pulled you out of the overturned car. Without wasting a moment, he bit into his wrist and forced his blood into your mouth.

You drank for a moment then turned away, trying to sit up but immediately fell back and the sheer exhaustion and soreness you felt.

He was here. He was here, you realised.

"Oh Damon, I'm so sorry!" you sobbed into his chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and you knew he was crying into your shoulder.

You simply let things just be. In that dark night, the feeling of death heavy around you, the two of you embraced a new life. Of promises of forever, of understanding, of accepting --- and it was beautiful.

After what seemed like an eternity, he composed himself, giving you some strength, too. "Let's get you home, yeah?" he whispered and you nodded. He lifted you bridal style in his arms and helped you into his car. You leaned on him, as much as you could and he kissed the top of your head. "I'm so, so sorry..." he began but your shook your head. He understood. Not now.

You drove to the Boarding House in companionable silence. The silence was golden. The silence spoke it all. And all you needed was the silence.

With his help you went inside. The house that was so familiar --- it looked the same --- but it promised something different.

"You don't know how scared I was today," he whispered as he rubbed your feet.

"Me too... I didn't want to die like that. Not without saying goodbye, though I wonder if I ever will be able to say it-" he silenced you with a kiss. "I won't let anything happen to you. I want you all for myself, I know that's selfish. I am prick and I don't deserve you, but I do love you very much, so much that it's frustrating, and I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you. I know I make bad decisions, I know I react impulsively, but I do it only for you. I am sorry for today. I had no reason to compel Jake, but I did it anyway because I was insecure. I realised my mistake, I have no reason to be. So, if you have it in you, please forgive me...". Tears were streaming down his face.

You wiped them away and hugged him close.

"I'm hungry," you said, trying to lighten up the atmosphere. It made him laugh. "Pasta?"

"Yes!"

[lustfulslxt]

Hellbent - Chris Sturniolo

summary : y/n and chris, so incredibly in love with one another, yet ruined by self sabotage.

warnings : angst, swearing, fluff, smutty, heartbreak, self-harm (if you squint)

a/n : this is the one :)) regular italics are flashbacks.

—

so who do i call now? i'd give it all now, just to be fighting in the kitchen and hearing the crash of broken dishes. thought it was bad then, this heartache is hellbent.

“Why are you pushing me away?!” She shouts, tears brimming in her eyes as the ache in her chest grows.

The two of them were everything and nothing at the same time. So head over heels for each other, but almost doomed from the start. Chris; scared to take things to the next step. Y/N; wanting nothing more than to take it further.

They were both in love with each other, but Chris couldn’t voice his concerns, instead, opted for trying to make her hate him. It was unconventional, yet it made the most sense to him. He loved her with every fiber of his being, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. However, the thought of furthering their relationship, making it real, scared him to death. There were so many factors in which caused him to pull back. Though, things would have been better off if he had just explained his worries, he chose to make things harder than they needed to be.

Y/N loved Chris more than any and everything in her life. She loved everything about him, and she wanted to be with him, more than what she had. She didn’t just want sex and casual conversation, she wanted love and passion. She could feel it between them, the most amazing love and deepest passion, but there was still a barrier between them. It was easy for her to read Chris, well usually, but their recent encounters had thrown her for a loop. She could feel the love from him, yet the unexplainable distance he put between them and the impenetrable walls he put up only made her head spin.

“Chris.” She half sobs, after receiving no answer from him.

He can’t bring himself to look at her. He knows the sight of her torn apart will break his heart, especially because he’s the cause of their wreckage.

“Look at me.” She begs, “Please, Chris.”

He deeply inhales, his eyes frantically darting around, unable to lift his head. His heart feels heavy. He knows he has no right to be sad, considering this is all his fault, but he can’t help but feel melancholy.

The sound of loud sobs spring through the air, and the sight of Y/N falling to her knees in his peripheral causes his head to snap over in her direction. There she sat, her body shaking with every weep that left her mouth. Her rosy cheeks glisten with a tremendous amount of tears, and her lips pull into the deepest frown he’s ever seen on her. Her eyebrows are furrowed and her eyes clenched shut.

Chris can feel the lump forming in his throat as he takes in her appearance, utterly heartbroken. Knowing he’s the reason she’s so distraught brings tears to his eyes. Hurting her is the last thing he ever wanted to do. His mind is racing; he’s unsure of what to do. He wants to take her in his arms and hold her close, profusely apologizing and taking it all back. Yet, part of him feels it’ll only make it worse. Without another thought, he joins her on the floor, his arms wrapping around her as he tries to console her.

Her cries only worsen as she fights to push him away, “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m sorry.” He whispers, repeatedly, like a mantra.

Her reluctance to accept his embrace continues, only for him to try harder. Tears inevitably slip from his eyes, he hates the predicament he put them in. He can feel her struggling die down as the energy diminishes from her body. Her body still shakes with sobs, but she can no longer put up a fight against him. There they sat, her body slump against his as his arms wrap around her.

“I am so sorry, Y/N.” He mutters, his voice croaking.

A few moments go by before she responds, “I just don’t understand. Things were going so well between us, and you can’t say that you don’t feel something deep for me. I know you, Chris. We’ve spent almost every day together for the last year, I know you inside and out. But what I don’t know, is why the sudden change? Why are you pulling back?”

Again, he doesn’t answer, which only infuriates Y/N. She harshly pulls herself from his hold, turning around to face him. His face is ridden with sorrow as he looks at her with sad eyes.

“You’re giving me absolutely nothing! You’re leaving me in the dark about it, I do not deserve that. I’ve been nothing but good to you despite how you’ve been the last couple of weeks. The least you can do is tell me what changed.”

He sighs, struggling to find the right words to say. He can’t bring himself to tell her the truth, and he knows whatever he says won’t matter. She’s going to be hurt regardless. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, letting his head fall back.

“I don’t feel anything for you.” He lies through his teeth.

“Bullshit.” She snaps.

Even though she knows he’s lying, his words still hurt. She doesn’t understand why he can’t just be straightforward with her. He’s never lied to her before, why now?

“I don’t feel anything for you.” He repeats, his eyes now staring into hers, looking void of emotion.

Her heart feels like it’s shattering all over again. She’s never had to deal with this type of hurt before. She’s never felt the way she feels for him for anyone else. Despite never being in a relationship before, she knows she’s in love with him.

“Get out.”

“What?” He asks, unsure if he misheard her.

“Get out.” She repeats through gritted teeth. “Get out! Go! You don’t feel anything for me? You want to push me away? You want to call it quits? You want to leave? Then leave! Just leave, Christopher.”

He doesn’t want any of that, it’s the last thing he wants. And knowing that once he walks out the door, she’s going to spiral, makes him want to stay even more. But the whole point in him pulling back is to make her hate him, because he knows he won’t be able to leave her. He needs her to leave him.

Without a word, he gets up from the ground and makes his exit. She watches him leave, the door shutting behind him. She hopes and hopes that he’ll turn back around and apologize for everything. She hopes he’ll finally admit to her that he loves her and that he wants to be with her, but she knows it’s won’t happen. It’s done. It’s over. They’re over.

-

It’s been a week since Y/N and Chris have spoken. A week since he left. The hole in her chest only grows bigger with every passing second. She misses him so deeply. Part of her just wishes she could just go back to their last moment together. It was hard and it hurt, but she’d rather have that than nothing at all.

Going from seeing each other all the time to not having any type of communication was more difficult than she anticipated. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, but God, did her heart hurt.

Chris was in the same boat; distraught from the loss of her. He was stuck grieving their relationship and the guilt he felt was tremendous. He knew that the downfall of them was his fault, he accepted responsibility. There was nothing more that he wanted, than to go to her house and apologize, and tell her how he really feels about her. He loves her more than anything. He’s not sure he could ever not love her. Everything about her just calls out to him, he finds perfection in the simplest attributes of her being.

Leaving her behind caused him physical pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to give in. He was scared of fully committing, taking the next step with her and making it real. Although, it felt real, there was just something about giving all of himself to her that struck him with fear. Maybe it was the fact that he knew how his fans would react. They would chew into Y/N like they were starved animals and the only thing to satisfy their hunger was to eat her alive. He didn’t want to put any kind of negativity on her.

So, there both of them lay, alone in bed. Eyes glued to the ceiling, cheeks stained with tears, lumps in their throats, anxiety brewing in their stomachs, and heavy chests. Two different homes, yet exactly the same all at once. Eerie silence, so loud they can feel the echo of their painful heartbeats in their ears. The more they think back on all of their time together, and what came of them, the more frequent and louder their sobs got.

-

Chris and Y/N both lay on the couch, their legs entangled together while she rests atop of him. Their fingers are intertwined as she has her face buried in the crook of his neck. Every so often, she would deeply inhale the scent of him, feeling intoxicated by the way he smells. She can never get enough of it.

"Are you smelling me?" Chris asks with a chuckle, his chest subtly shaking with the vibrations from his laugh.

Y/N playfully rolls her eyes, moving to look up at him. "Yes, what about it?"

"Nothing." He smirks, shaking his head. "You're just odd."

"Hey!" She gasps, defensively. "You smell good. Is it a crime to enjoy it?"

He laughs once more, "A crime? No, but it's definitely odd."

"Shut up. Don't think I haven't caught you doing the same thing to me. You're not slick, Christopher."

His cheeks darken with a rosy color, warming up in slight embarrassment for being caught without him realizing it.

"You've seen me smelling you?" He asks, his voice timid.

"Please. You practically breathe me in." She teases, enjoying the state of him being flustered.

"How come you never said anything?!" Chris questions, his jaw dropped.

She shrugs, resting her head on his chest, listening to the rapid beating of his heart. "It was never that deep. We like the way each other smell, so what?"

He doesn't reply, instead, flips the two over, so that he's now on top of her. She looks up at him with wide eyes before he smashes his lips against hers, taking her in a deep kiss. Their lips move together as if it's the easiest thing they'd ever done. In reality, it probably is.

One of his hands softly grips her jaw, the other resting on the bare skin of her waist. Her hands cup his face, deepening the kiss, until he pulls away. His lips trail down her cheeks, meeting her neck with soft kisses. His nose grazes her skin, brushing over it as he takes a deep breath through it. Her sweet scent fills his nostrils, rushing him with dopamine.

"You're such a weirdo!" She laughs, pushing his face away from her.

"Hey! You said it's not that deep!" He defends.

She giggles, shaking her head, "Come here, you dork."

Her fingers softly grasp his dangling chain, pulling him into her for another loving kiss that the two of them both melt into.

-

Y/N's pillow was drenched with her tears. With every happy memory surfacing, came a thousand more tears. She was incredibly distraught. She didn't know what to do, she felt so lost. Never in a million years did she think she would lose Chris. It never even crossed her mind.

Her house was dark and quiet, the only sounds being her cries. Her fingers gripped the roots of her hair, tugging in frustration. The burning sensation couldn’t compare to the aching in her chest. Maybe on the outside, people would assume she's being dramatic and should get over herself, as well as the boy she's so bent over. But on the inside, she truly felt so utterly heartbroken. She hadn't spoken a word aloud since she told Chris to leave. It's been seven whole days since she uttered a single word.

She had no one in her life aside from Chris, his brothers, and their friends. No one has reached out to her, but she couldn't blame them because she hadn't tried reaching out to anyone either. She simply turned her phone off, attempting to shield herself from the world.

She didn't know how to cope with the loss she was feeling. She knew it wasn't good to stay in bed and shelter herself from any and everything, but she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. All she wanted was Chris. She wanted to rewind time to go back and have him again. Unfortunately, she'd rather have their messy situation than have nothing of him at all.

Tear-stained papers were scattered throughout her sheets, handwritten notes from Chris. She reread everything he's ever wrote to her over and over again, wishing for him to say the words out loud to her. She could tell from his letters alone; he did love her. She could tell from his actions and how the way he treated her, he did love her.

So, why on earth could he not just voice it?

Why, instead of telling her he loves her, would he push her away and make her feel like none of it mattered to him to lose?

-

“Chris!” Y/N’s yells, her laughter filling the atmosphere as she runs from said boy.

The two have giant smiles on their faces, joyous sounds emitting from both of their mouths as they run around the house. A can of silly string rests in his hand, determined to empty it on her.

“I swear it’s all gone, look!” Chris fronts, attempting to sway her just to cover her in it again.

“You’re lying!” She laughs, running around the counter.

Chris catches her on the opposite side, causing her to shriek in fear. His free hand wraps around her waist, holding her close while his other hand sprays the silly string all over her. At that point, she accepts defeat and pouts at him.

“Chris.” She whines, feeling the substance coating her head. “My hair!”

The grin never leaves his face as he pulls her flush against him, one hand on the small of her back, the other hand softly grasping her chin. His eyes stare down at her in adoration, love swelling in his heart as he takes her in.

“I’ll wash it for you.” He offers, closing the gap between them.

Their lips meet, soft and tender together. She melts into the kiss, savoring the way they mold together so perfectly. Her hands trail from his biceps to around his neck, her fingers, instinctively, playing with the loose strands of hair at the nape of his neck.

Y/N pulls away, only to be met with a frown on Chris’ lips. She breathily laughs, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the direction of the bathroom.

“What are we doing?” Chris asks, following in suit.

“We aren’t doing anything. YOU, are washing my hair like you oh so kindly offered.” She grins, locking the door behind them.

He chuckles in response, immediately accepting with no hesitation. He turns the faucet on, adjusting the temperature just how he knows she likes it. While they wait for the water to heat up, he grasps the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head, tossing it in the hamper.

The innocent look in her eyes as she stares up at him with love ridden on her face makes him feel like putty. He can’t help but capture her lips in a sweet kiss once more.

They continue to undress, discarding their dirty clothes with the rest of them. Chris helps her into the shower, joining her seconds after. He held her close, the hot water drenching both of them equally as they stood in each other’s embrace.

“I love this.” He mutters into her hair, his hands gently caressing her body.

“You love what?” She asks, looking up at him.

His beautiful blue eyes fill with admiration as he gazes back at her. His wet hair slick against his forehead and his lips a soft pink. He smiles at her, brushing the soaking hair out of her face. His touch against her incredibly tender and sweet, full of love and passion.

"Being here, like this, with you." He whispers, his voice soft and delicate, almost as if he is worried of scaring her away.

Y/N's lips pull into a rather large smile, her stomach fluttering with butterflies. His statement was so simple, yet it has her weak in the knees. She doesn't say a word, only clasps her hands around his neck and pulls his face into hers. Their lips meet in a longing kiss, both of them savoring the deep connection between the two. Chris' hands wrap tightly around her waist, tugging her against him, desperate to feel all of her.

After a moment, they pull away, breathless. She smiles up at him and lays her head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat echoing in her ears. His cheek meets her hair, enjoying the feeling of her embrace. His hands run through her hair, massaging her scalp as he does so.

Suddenly, she pulls back and looks him in the eyes, "I love you."

He smiles, "I love you too."

She shakes her head, biting her inner cheek. "No, Chris. I love you. I'm in love with you."

He feels as though time stops, everything frozen around them. The running water muffles, and all he can hear is the sound of his erratic heartbeat. His eyes are wide as he stares down at her, his voice caught in his throat. He wasn't expecting this. Though, looking back, he should've realized it would be happening soon.

Her lips started falling, curving into a frown, before quickly pulling them back up in a tight-lipped smile. "It's okay."

He opens his mouth so say something, yet nothing comes out. She softly shakes her head, her fake smile growing in an attempt to reassure him, even though her heart is slowly breaking at the thought of him not loving her back. Not loving her the way she wants to be loved, the way she loves him.

"You don't have to say anything."

And so, he doesn't. He clears his throat, proceeding to wash her hair like he intended. The silence between them is loud, awkwardness filling the air. Y/N can't help but feel regret for saying those words. Although, they were nothing but true, she now feels as though she messed things up.

-

That was the beginning of their destruction. Everything changed the moment Y/N said those five little words. Chris pulled back and put his guard up. Y/N was so lost and confused, unknowing of why things changed. Using her head, she knew it was because she admitted her feelings, but her heart ached every time she attempted to understand why it changed. It was obvious to everyone that knew the two, Chris was undoubtedly in love with her. Why wouldn't he just say that?

The next couple of weeks after Y/N's confession were looming with uncertainty and inevitable ruination. Chris was snappy and seemingly far away, trying to put as much distance into them as possible. He could see what it was doing to her, and it made his chest tighten in agony. She wasn't the same happy girl she usually was. At times she would try to hide it, but he could read her through and through. She was sad.

No matter how many times Y/N tried to address the elephant in the room, Chris would always be extremely dismissive and standoffish. She could barely even get two sentences out before he was either interrupting her, or simply walking away. The pain she felt was excruciating. Every time he just left her there, she felt like he was taking her lungs with him, because she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

Chris was her person. Without him, she had no one to turn to. She couldn't reach out to anyone for advice, simply because there was no one else. She was stuck enduring the heartache he was causing, unaware of the fact that he was going through the same feeling. He didn't want to be cold towards her, he didn't want to leave her drowning in a pool of unwanted emotions, but it's what he felt he had to do.

Ever since their last communication, the skies were dark. It was as if the universe was following in suit of the two of them. The world seemed gloomy around them. Either that, or their overwhelming negative emotions clouded everything good in the world.

"Chris, bro, you have got to leave your room!" Matt's voice was heard from the other side of the locked door.

Chris doesn't respond, only continues to look off into the distance, reminiscing about the girl he loved and hurt all at the same time. His bedroom door shakes with the pounding from his brothers, both of them desperate to reach him. Suddenly, the furious knocks stop, leaving just a moment of silence before the lock clicks and the door flies open.

Chris turns his head, his dead eyes meeting Nick and Matt. The two of them look back at Chris, their faces morphing into sadness and confusion. They have no idea what's causing Chris to be so detrimental to his own health.

"What's going on, Chris?" Nick asks, "You have to talk to us. We're your brothers."

Chris can't even find the words to respond. Just by his features, Nick and Matt can see that he's absolutely devastated. However, they have no idea why. When he doesn't answer, Matt walks forward and sits beside him on the bed, engulfing him in a comforting hug. That seems to have an effect, because Chris bursts into tears, his entire body shaking as he silently cries. Nick gasps and rushes over to the other side of Chris, joining in on the embrace, desperate to help soothe the pain of his brother.

"Shh." Nick coos, "It's okay. It's gonna be okay."

Chris violently trembles, as his sobs grow louder, "I fucked up. I fucked up so bad."

"Chris, tell us what happened. We can help you fix it." Matt says.

He shakes his head, "It's too late."

Nick and Matt share looks of concern, completely bewildered by the state of their brother. He had never ever been like this before, and quite frankly, they were unsure how to handle it. They just continue to console him to the best of their ability.

“Is this about Y/N?” Nick asks, sharing another look with Matt.

“We’ve noticed she hasn’t been around this last week.” Matt adds.

Chris doesn’t say anything, so Nick continues, “Did something happen between you two? It’s not like you guys to go so long without speaking to each other.”

Chris’ cries only seem to get louder, indicating the two of them made correct assumptions. Matt rubs Chris’ back in another effort to comfort him.

“Chris, if you want to talk about it, you know we’re always here for you. No judgement, no criticism. Just here to listen, and if you want advice.” Matt softly states.

Slowly, but surely, Chris’ finally gets himself together enough to stop sobbing, however, the tears remain a steady flow. He lifts his head up, looking back and forth between his brothers with a frown on his lips.

“I told her I didn’t feel anything for her.” Chris finally admits.

“Why would you lie?” Nick questions, receiving an elbow from Matt, pulling a groan from his mouth.

“Go on.” Matt insists.

Chris sighs, tossing his head back in frustration with himself. “She told me she was in love with me the other day. I didn’t say it back.”

Nick and Matt look at one another, realization dawning upon them.

“I don’t know why, I just couldn’t say it. The words wouldn’t come out.” Chris adds.

“But you do feel the same, right?” Nick asks.

Chris nods, “I love her more than anything. I’m so in love with her, it hurts. But I’m such a fucking idiot. I pushed her away, I made her hate me.”

He lets out another sob, Matt quickly jumping in, “I’m sure she doesn’t hate you. It’s Y/N, she could never hate you.”

“You weren’t there.” Chris shakes his head, several tears falling from his eyes. “I looked her in her face and told her I don’t feel anything for her. I watched her fall apart. I could see it in her face, what my words did to her. I’ve never seen her so sad before. She told me to leave, and we haven’t spoken since.”

“Oh, Chris.” Nick sighs. “You’ve gotta fix this.”

“Dude!” Matt counters, nudging him again.

“No!” Nick cuts, “I know we said we’d listen, but come on. Chris it’s so obvious you love her. Look at the way you’ve been distraught over this! You haven’t left your room in a week. We’ve had to use old unposted videos just to give our fans content because you’ve been sulking. I get you’re upset, I understand that. What’s stopping you from telling her the truth?”

“I don’t know.”

“You do know, you’re just lying to yourself.” Nick snaps. “Accept it, Chris. Just say the words out loud.”

“I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Matt encourages.

“I’m scared of fully committing. I’m scared of giving her all of me and not being good enough!” Chris shouts, feeling exasperated.

Nick sighs, “Kid, look back on all these years. She’s been head over heels for you for as long as I can remember.”

“Plus,” Matt starts, holding a finger up. “You’re still committing to not being with her. So, therefore, it’s not commitment you’re afraid of.”

Chris shakes his head, a small chuckle leaving his mouth. “It’s not just that. What if after everything, she doesn’t love me like she thinks? And our fans would go insane.”

“Fuck our fans!” Nick exclaims, receiving a pointed look from Matt. “Okay, that sounded harsh. But seriously, if our fans can’t be happy that you found someone that makes you happy, then they’re not real fans.”

“I don’t want them to hurt her.”

“Like you’re doing right now?” Matt points out.

Chris frowns, knowing Matt is absolutely right. He is hurting Y/N, and that alone, makes his stomach drop.

-

Y/N’s phone had been going straight to voicemail, and none of Chris’ texts were delivering. He assumed she blocked him until he tried having Matt and Nick call her, but to no avail, neither of them got through. So, either she blocked all of them, or her phone was off.

Regardless, Chris was ridden with panic. He worried immensely about her. He knew she was hurting, and he was scared of her doing something stupid. Which brought Chris to where he is now; standing outside of her door.

He’s been on her doorstep for about five minutes, contemplating what to do and what to say. Part of him wants to turn around and forget about him, but he can’t bring himself to do so. He needs to talk to her. So, his hand reaches forward and, before he can talk himself out of it, he knocks several times. So much, in fact, that he yanks his hand back and curses at himself for being so stupid.

It feels like forever has gone by, like he’s been standing there for eternity, until the door opens and snaps him back to reality. His head lifts up and he’s met with Y/N. Her eyes are bloodshot, cheeks red and puffy, and she looks incredibly miserable. Chris still finds her beautiful.

Her eyes widen in surprise before they’re replaced with anger as she frowns at him, “Can I help you?”

The way she talks to him like he’s a stranger makes his stomach twist and he’s suddenly ten times more nervous than before.

“Y/N.” He sighs, unable to form another other words.

“Christopher.”

He takes a deep breath, washing his anxiety away in order to speak to her. “You were right. You were right about everything. I was a complete asshole. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, the way I pushed you away. I lied. I do feel things for you. I feel so much for you that it terrifies the fuck out of me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and I didn’t know how to deal with it. So, when you admitted your feelings for me, I panicked. I was scared, I’m still scared! I don’t know how to be in a relationship, I’m worried I won’t be good enough for you. I’m scared you’ll realize that you don’t actually love me the way you think you do. I’m scared I’ll ruin everything good between us, if I haven’t already. You’re so fucking amazing, I can’t even wrap my head around how you want anything to do with me. I do love you, I’m so fucking in love with you that it hurts. I’m so incredibly sorry for the pain I caused you, it breaks my heart that you had to endure that because of me. Because I’m an idiot. I’m sick for even jeopardizing us because I was an idiot and couldn’t use my words like a big boy. I do love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you, to have a family and grow old with you. I want to go to every single doctor appointment for our children. I want to have cute gender reveals and baby showers. I want us to have a cute little house with the white picket fence. I want us to have a cute little garden and a play-set for our kids, and a little doggy house. I want to go to sleep with you every night, and wake up with you by my side every single morning. I, so badly, wish I could take back the last few weeks, but I know it’s not possible. But please, if there’s any part of you that still wants me, I want nothing more than to be yours.”

By the time he’s finished speaking, he’s breathless. The two of them had tears running down their cheeks, never breaking eye contact for even a moment. Chris feels so much relief for finally getting that off his chest, he just wishes he had done it sooner rather than later.

“Do you want to come inside?” Her voice speaks up, softer than before.

“Please.” He nods, letting out a breath of nervousness.

She opens the door wider, allowing room for him to enter. He does so, turning to her once she shuts the door. The two stare at each other, no words spoken, causing Chris’ anxiety to spike.

“Will you say something?” He asks, “Please.”

Instead of speaking, she steps forward, yanking him into her. Her arms wrap around his neck, his arms going around her waist. She buries her head in the crook of his neck, and he places his head on hers. Both of them sigh in contentment, finally back in each other’s embrace. Their hearts swell with love as relief floods their bodies.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” He repeats.

“Shh, come on.” She says, reluctantly pulling away and beckoning him to her room.

He follows her in, watching as she gets on her bed. He stands there, almost unsure whether to join her, until she pats the space beside her. He wastes no time in lying right next to her, their bodies molding together once again. Her head on his chest, his arm around her, keeping her in place as their legs entangle and fingers interlock.

“I missed you so fucking much.” He whispers, pulling her impossibly closer in fear that she’d disappear.

She squeezes her eyes shut, gripping onto him tighter, like when she opens her eyes, she’ll find herself alone and realize all of this was a dream.

“Please never do that again.” She croaks, swallowing the lump in her throat.

He instantly lifts her head up, coming face to face with her as they lock eyes. “Never again. I promise. I’m never leaving you again. I want this, I want you. I’m sorry it took me so long to admit that, but I promise this is what I want. You’re what I want, what I need. I’m here to stay.”

It’s like his words flipped a switch because she could suddenly see right through him again. He’s being sincere.

Her hand slowly makes its way to his cheek, rubbing the soft skin with her thumb, before pulling him into her and pressing her lips against his. It feels like heaven. This is what both of them have been longing for, being together in the way they are meant to be.

Their mouths move in sync, the kiss deepening with each passing second. Y/N hooks her leg over him, sliding herself on his lips, to straddle him. Chris’ hands, instinctively, meet her hips, holding her in place.

He suddenly pulls away, “Wait, I don’t want you to think I just came over here to get my dick wet. I-”

“Please shut up.” She breathes, melting into his lips once more.

Their kiss becomes feverish and desperate, as if trying to make up for lost time. Chris’ hands move downwards to her ass, tightly gripping it as she grinds her hips against his. Almost instantly, she can feel his bulge against her core. Her lips part from his and continue trailing down his neck, leaving open mouth kisses, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. His breathing picks up, now heavy in her ear.

With one quick motion, he flips her, leaving him hovering over her. His lips meet hers again, their tongues exploring each other’s mouths like it’s the first time ever doing so. His hand softly grasps her neck, his hips rutting against hers, eliciting a soft moan from her.

“God, I’ve missed that sound.” He mumbles against her lips.

Her hands reach the bottom of his shirt, tugging it upwards and placing her hands on his chest as he fully removes it. Her fingers roam his torso, goosebumps arising on his skin beneath her touch. His lips work on her neck, kissing down towards her exposed collarbone. He pulls the loose strap of her tank top down, exposing more skin, his lips following in suit. Soft, breathy moans fell from her mouth, enjoying every sensation he’s giving her.

Chris grabs the hem of her tank top and swiftly pulls it over her head, leaving her topless. His hands caress her bare skin as hers tangle in his hair. He lowers his mouth, peppering wet, open mouthed kisses along every inch of her upper body. His lips trail down the valley of her breasts, both hands cupping each one, giving them a tender squeeze.

“God, you’re so perfect, baby.” Chris groans into her chest, his lips wrapping around her nipple.

Her back arches, pushing her chest more into him, her panties growing more wet with every touch. He takes turns with each nipple, sucking, biting, and pinching them. Airy moans left her mouth, fueling Chris’ desire to hear more of them.

His fingers hook in the waistband of her bottoms, pulling them down and off her feet in one quick motion, tossing them across the room. Y/N’s left bare in front of him, he can’t help but admire the sight of her. Butterflies erupt in her stomach at the loving look in his eyes, her cheeks heating up under his stare.

“So fucking pretty.” He mutters, placing another kiss on her lips.

His hands trail down, groping at every one of her curves, softly massaging the plush skin. They make their way down to her thighs, caressing them with passion. He pulls them apart, her core glistening with her arousal, causing him to lick his lips. She’s completely mouth watering to him.

“Need you so bad.” She moans out, the cool air hitting her right where she needs him most.

He lowers his body in between her legs, softly kissing and nibbling her inner thighs. The moment she bucks her hips up, in need of friction, Chris lurches forward. His tongue glides through her folds with ease, causing her to let out a loud moan. His lips wrap around her sensitive bundle of nerves, gently sucking.

“Fuck.” She moans out, her face contorting in pleasure.

He pulls away, his finger taking his place. It rubs her clit in soft circles, before trailing down, gathering her juices. He leans up towards her mouth, placing his lips on hers, and sinks his finger into her entrance, causing her to moan into the kiss. His finger continues pumping in and out of her for a moment, before he adds another. He speeds up the pace, fucking his fingers into her and curving up just right, feeling that spongy spot he knows she loves.

“Oh my fuck.” She moans, grinding into his hand.

He continues this, his mouth now working on her neck once again, marking her up just how he knows she likes. He knows her inside and out, quite literally. His thumb rubs her clit in circles while his middle and ring finger thrust in and out of her, leaving her a moaning mess. Very quickly, her legs begin shaking and she clenches around him.

“Fuck, baby. Gonna make a mess for me, hm?” He whispers in her ear, sucking on her earlobe, and placing a kiss on it.

Unable to form a sentence, she frantically nods, her hands grasping his arm as he speeds his hand up. She gasps, feeling nothing but euphoric. The knot in her stomach tightens, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Fuck, right there!” She moans out, “Please, don’t stop. Please, please.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He speaks, quickly bringing his mouth back down to her heat, his lips easily wrapping around her clit once again.

Just as his tongue flicks over it, her hips are bucking as her orgasm rushes through her. Her legs tremble as she releases, her juices flying out and drenching the sheets as well as Chris. He moans into her center, his tongue working to taste all of her as his fingers slowly help her ride it out.

“Taste so fucking good.” He moans, pulling his fingers out of her and placing them in his mouth, sucking her fluids off of them.

Her legs continue to twitch as she tries to catch her breath, a goofy smile dancing on her lips as she watches him through heavy eyelids. She pulls him into her again, her lips easily molding with his, the taste of her juices still on his tongue. She can feel his clothed erection pressing into her, causing her to pull away.

Her fingers grasp the drawstring of his sweatpants, slowly pulling them loose. He gets the hint and pulls them down, adding them and his boxers to the pile of clothes discarded on the floor. His hand wraps around the base of his dick, sliding it up and down through her folds, coating it in her arousal. He places himself at her entrance, both of his hands interlocking with hers. Looking into her eyes, he slowly sinks in, loud moans coming from both of them as he bottoms out.

“Mm, missed you so much.” She moans out, her fingers tightening around his.

“I missed you.” He groans, slowly pumping in and out. “God, you feel so good around me, baby.”

As he thrusts into her, her hands guide his to her breasts. His hands engulf them, tightly squeezing them as she claws at his back. His strokes become faster and harder, desperately fucking into her as deep as he’ll go. Her eyes roll into the back of her head as her mouth falls open, broken moans emitting.

He grabs one of her legs, lifting it over his shoulder for better access. The deeper he gets, the louder the moans are, falling from her lips. His free hand comes down, rubbing her clit as he fucks into her at a delicious pace.

“Chris, baby, I’m so close.” She moans with a whine, her fingernails digging into the skin on his back. “You fuck me so good.”

“Let go, mama. Wanna make you feel good.” He groans, his thrusts meeting her just the way they both need.

The tightening in her stomach indicates she’s close to releasing, causing her to tightly clench around his cock. That causes his thrusts to grow sloppy, him feeling his own orgasm sneaking up on him. He recomposes himself, his hips rutting into hers so perfectly, instantly snapping the metaphorical rope inside of her. Lewd moans fall from her mouth as she lets go once again, her juices coating his dick.

“Fuck, so good to me, baby.” He groans, pumping in and out of her before his own release hits him, his hot load painting her walls.

His thrusts slow down before he pulls out altogether, their mixed fluids dripping out of her. Both of their breaths were erratic, their skin flushed mixes of reds and pinks. Chris collapses beside her, their hands immediately connecting as they attempt to regain themselves.

“I love you.” Chris suddenly announces, “I’m gonna remind you every chance I get. I’ll never let you forget it, or doubt it. I love you, I’m so in love with you. I wanna be yours and only yours, forever.”

-

a/n : lolzzz there ya go <3 wasn’t sure if i liked the ending but i got lazy and someoneee wanted a happy ending. it’s not my fic without a lil nasty 🤭 hope you enjoyed it xx

@worldlxvlys @flowerxbunnie

[impactedfates]

"You were...everything" - Archons + Wanderer x GN! Reader

★ Summary: Your immortal lover was a wonderful experience...and you were everything to them (i.e - immortal characters reaction to you dying)

☆ Characters Included (Separate): Venti, Zhongli, Ei/Raiden Ei, Furina + Scaramouche/Wanderer

★ Genre/Trope: Hurt/No Comfort (I tried anyways)

☆ Warnings: Major Character Death (You)

★ Extra: Some may know the audio, others may not. But I think it's angsty so here you go // Furina might be OOC as I haven't actually done the Fontaine story quest yet

As the anemo archon, Venti cared deeply about freedom. And he also cared deeply about you. He was a great boyfriend and was never that protective of you, he always believed you deserve to have freedom, not to be tied down by any restrictions.

But maybe he should've trusted his gut when you went away on one of your adventures, he always sent the wind to protect you and it would always bring you back into his arms. But when the wind could only return the sound of silence when you were meant to come back. He grew worried.

One day, a knock on his door came and he went to check. Jean stood there and looked at Venti before slightly bowing to him, she didn't need to utter a word. He knew what was going on.

You were gone.

Gone due to an accident. Gone because you wanted to protect others but that only got yourself killed.

After that day, after your funeral not many saw him. For days on end, when he did show his face though. He had a smile, continued on with his life as if nothing happened.

But people around him, even people who didn't know him well enough. Could see with each passing day, that this mask he put on would soon fall. He wouldn't be able to act like he got over your death, he never will.

But at least you had freedom right? Wherever you were. He just wished it was with him.

Zhongli was used to seeing people close to him come and go. He knew eventually you'll leave him too as many others did before. He knew he'd likely outlive you, so he wanted to make sure he spent as much time with you as possible. Telling you he loved you and making sure you felt loved.

He never wanted for you to be stripped away from him, and you promised you wouldn't. You two made a contract. A contract that stated you'll be with him for as long as you could, because even you knew he'd outlive you. A contract where he vowed to protect you.

You two truly loved each other, it's a shame he couldn't save you that day. The day where your contract with him ended. Too soon for the ex-archons' liking. He should've been the one to take the hit, he would've been just fine. But you cared about him too much to even see him hurt.

And all he could do was finish the treasure hoarders off before carrying you and running as fast as he could to a doctor. He wanted to believe you'll be okay, he just needed to get there faster, get your wounds treated.

But he knew deep down that no matter how much he hoped, the feeling of your body growing cold against his arms was enough to tell him he was too late.

He had lost you.

But what did he expect? He knew himself loving a mortal would be dangerous, he knew loving a mortal would mean he would eventually lose them.

Yet when he met you, he couldn't help but fall in love.

He was silent at your funeral, silent after that day. No amount of Hu Taos attempts at lightening his mood would work. Nor would anyone's attempts.

He had lost someone he had sworn to protect, and he couldn't even do that.

Eternity.

That's how long Ei wanted to be with you. For all of eternity, for as long as she's able to hold you in her arms, for as long as your mortal life would let her.

She never wanted to let you go. For you to go. She's already lost so many people she cared about. You couldn't be one of them. She didn't want you too. She did everything in her power to protect you.

But that didn't stop her finding your motionless body on the ground.

She knew she didn't have the best reputation after the Vision Hunt Decree. She knew people would be mad at her. She knew people may want revenge against her.

But why did you have to be the one hurt? You did nothing. You did nothing but love her and help her settle back in the life she once abandoned. You were so dear to her heart, you were so kind to her.

You didn't deserve the fate you received.

She never went to your funeral, only hearing from Yae Miko about how it went. The kitsune saw the look on Ei's face and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"They wouldn't like if you went back into isolation you know"

The archon knew that, and she wouldn't want to make you upset. Even if she couldn't see you, she knew that wherever you were, you wouldn't like it. She even promised to you she wouldn't.

She continued on ruling over Inazuma. Things were at ease, the culprits responsible for your death were punished. People were starting to warm up to her, though her actions were never forgotten.

And just as she wanted to, she'll be with you for all of eternity. Even if that was merely by your grave.

Furina always worried if she was a good archon, if she made her people happy despite how she may act around them. She knew she likely could never fully replace the past archon but she wanted to be liked.

Furina also worried if she was a good partner to you, yet despite how she may act to mask her insecurities. You stayed with her. You made her feel more confident in herself. She's truly so grateful for you. She never wanted you to disappear.

But you did.

The trail had to be rigged. It just had too. You weren't a criminal. But all odds pointed to you. But she knew you weren't the culprit for the crime.

It wasn't like you.

You wouldn't have done that.

You were with her that day.

She wanted to speak out, she had too. But her mouth went dry, no words could come out as you were taken away, to be detained. To be placed somewhere until the set day of your death.

And she could only watch silently as it all happened.

After that day, after the one she loved so dearly, the one who loved her despite her flaws was gone from her life. She was never the same. No one saw her act as she did before. She only sat in her seat silently as trails went on.

People of Fontaine, even the ones who weren't too satisfied with her. Was worried for her, of how she was going to be. If she was going to be okay.

But she won't be.

She had failed her nation. She had failed you.

"Get up!"

"Getupgetupgetup, GET UP."

Those were the only words that Wanderer could think to yell at you. He shook you, pinched you. Anything, just anything to wake you up. You were just asleep right?

Yeah, just asleep. Just taking a peaceful nap. Sure, your eyes showed nothing but it being unfocused.

But you were just daydreaming like you always do right?

Sure your body had become cold.

But that's just how your temperature is right?

You're not dead. You can't be dead. You told him you wouldn't betray him. Then why weren't you waking up? Stop messing with him. It isn't funny. It's not funny.

Please, just let him see your smile again. Just once.

.

.

. Please?

Nahida slowly came behind him and patted his back, trying her best to reassure him. Wanderer could only continue looking into your eyes as they slowly lost their light. His shakes to your body slowed down as he finally and quietly let out a faint sob.

You were the only one able to fully break down his walls, to fully see him for who he is. You didn't mind his words, you loved him. He loved you. People were thankful you two were together as the words that would leave the puppets mouth became much less harsh.

After the day you left him, betrayed him in his eyes. He got back to his usual self before he met you. He became much harsher though, to the point Nahida advised him to take a few days off. Just being alone. Just to cool down. It wouldn't be fair for others to be victim to his harsh words just because of how upset he was with what happened.

He wanted to hate you, he wanted to despise you for breaking your promise about not leaving him, he wanted to ignore you because you betrayed him like many others did before...but he loved you.

But he no longer could have you.

Teehee. I only based Furina on what I think she's like, I gotta stop procrastinating and actually start the quest fweooif (please don't spoil!!)

Also I am aware that archons can exactly die, however I'm pretty sure they can't from old age. So if all goes well, they can live for awhileeee.

Anyways! I hope you liked it :>> I might make a pt 2 with different characters if this gets enough attention.

Thanks for reading!!

[seaswallovvme]

You are the one I’d come looking for. Over and over and over again

A/N: I am SO sorry for this but I can’t believe I’ve never seen a fanfic like this so I took it upon myself to write it. No beta reading or editing. We die like..nevermind

TW: angst, hurt and comfort, leprosy? No one is dying!!

People had thought her foolish for longer than she could think.

A pretty, young maiden from a good house, wealthy parents with political influence others could only dream of and yet she had chosen to marry a leper.

The king of Jerusalem was well known around nobility for more than just that of course, having won the battle of Montgisard against the Arabs at such young age seemed like a miracle from God above.

Even before that she had been by his side and it was not the fortunes, glory or status that had interested her which would no doubt be beneficial side effects of being married to him.

No young woman in her right mind would have willingly accepted the hand of a man doomed and she could hardly blame them.

Her parents had approved of the marriage as their hands were bound, depending on trade offers and the generosity of the holy land for their own existence.

Even then, when the letter from the court of Jerusalem had arrived they had been worried about the future of their darling girl.

Everyone had been, even nobility from far away and the news of King Baldwins marriage had spread quickly and then the whispering began.

She had never been bothered by the likes of them, faithful to her new husband who treated her with utmost care, she had everything she could have ever asked for and more.

He was a good man, gentle and wise for his age and he was grateful she had accepted his hand in marriage, he would have been a fool to not treat her well.

To him it was more than a political match propagating his strength to the outside kingdoms and his own.

To him this young woman was home, acceptance and love.

Despite all this their marriage was a slightly unusual one.

They had never been able to kiss nor were they able to consummate the marriage in a way deemed proper, the king refusing to risk contagion and his physicians agreed with him.

Despite all this she had never minded the lack of physicality in their marriage all that much.

She cared about him in a way that was beyond desires of the flesh, what they shared came close to holiness.

They talked a lot, shared poems and stories when she would caress his bandaged hands.

She would spend the late evenings in their shared chambers, after a tremendous amount of convincing, finally applying ointments to his sore, blistered skin to help it slow the spreading.

She would caress his bare back with fingers gentle as if she feared he would disappear into thin air, like a vision or a daydream, is she dared touching him too firmly.

In their eyes those sacred moments were almost enough but of course even the fate of the most pure could be harsh more often than not.

It started with a pale rash on her side, right over her ribs.

At first she had been sure it had come from spending too much time in the stables, perhaps she had been bitten by an insect.

Then one night when she had just finished brushing her hair before going to bed she noticed the tingling numbness in her fingers and feet.

It started slowly, like tiny ants crawling over her skin, not painful but the recognition was and she could feel her heart drop.

Though it wasn’t herself she feared for.

Baldwin let his best physicians be called to their shared chambers immediately.

After the three men had taken a look at her, whispering in a foreign language with their eyes drooped with worry and told them how deeply sorry they were the young king wished for his instant death.

He had always had a hard time being kind to himself, never to others but the wave of agony that rolled over him threatened to swallow him whole, burning like a demonic fury.

Her own eyes brimmed with tears and she sat up after the physicians had left, so frightened for her husband who was now sitting on the edge of the bed, his masked face buried in his hands with his shoulders trembling.

There was no use denying that she had caught the disease.

It was only a matter of time, she is playing with fire, others had whispered behind her back when they thought she wasn’t listening.

“Baldwin..” crawling up on the bed right behind him she wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

The gesture that had comforted him even in his worst moments now seemed to shatter his heart even more so.

“I have been so foolish..my beautiful, beautiful angel” he whispered, his voice dying in his throat and when he raised his head his eyes were flooded with tears.

He was trembling as he spoke and she was frightened as he nearly seemed mad with grief.

“You should have never come here..I should have never asked anyone, you, to put themselves in danger for my foolishness. If the Lord wants to punish me so be it but why would he wish to punish you of all people? When it was I who was selfish?”

She only noticed that she too was crying when she tasted the salt on her lips, wiping it with shaking fingers.

“Do not say such things..you are not selfish, nor foolish. It was I who made the decision to accept the offer to marry you with the pain and dangers that I was warned of. And I swear to you that even now I do not regret our vows, a single day or night we spent together”

Reaching out for him he cupped his cheek, a pained smile gracing her features in the soft candle light of his chambers.

“Please do not blame yourself my love. I am not scared of my fate but I am scared of losing you, whether it be to grief or shame. I beg of you, don’t leave me now”

There had never been a moment where Baldwin had to fight against contempt for himself as in this very moment.

He disdained himself for causing her to share his fate when he should have been the one to be level headed, keeping a distance for her own safety when in reality he was the one searching for her warmth like a frightened little boy.

Now there was no use avoiding her, he recognised with bitterness seeping like pus from an open wound.

Now it was too late, the die had been cast but all words of comfort, an apology he could have offered her seemed to be worthless now and he knew this sweet, innocent girl would not hear it.

How wonderfully stubborn she could be sometimes, with too much love to give and headstrong to a point where it was almost unbecoming for a woman but he wouldn’t have it any differently.

“Come now” she murmured, shuffling on the bed to slip underneath the covers.

The silken sheets were cool against her skin and a part of her wondered for how long she would be able to feel them at all.

She pulled him in as she did every night since they had exchanged their vows, his head resting against her shoulder and she caressed his soft hair soothingly.

“The promise of God is not that He will never give us more weight than we want to carry. The promise of God is that He will never put more on us than we can bear.”

Her voice was so soft as she spoke, without a tremor and she was not scared anymore.

Not for herself nor for him, not when God was watching over them, not when her love for him burned stronger than ever and she could feel his heart beating, so alive and warm in his chest.

“Let us not waste the precious time we have..not a second”

This was something the young king could not disagree with and how eager he was for her comfort if that meant to comfort her.

Now he had to be strong for her sake when she needed him now more than ever before, and she was right.

The promise of God is that He will never put more on us than we can bear, no matter how heavy the burden can be in the darkest times.

He shuddered when he felt her gentle fingers sliding the silver mask off his face as she had done many times before but something about it now felt different.

His eyes were wide, still glossy and red, his face scarred severely but she could only see the man she loved more than anyone or anything.

They looked at each other for what felt like hours, the fingers of one hand entwined, the other on each others cheek, stroking over skin, gently brushing a strand of hair behind one’s ear.

She was the one to lean in first and to him the feeling of her soft lips on his, for the first time ever felt like he was being reborn.

The kiss was clumsy with inexperience but it could not have been more raw and honest.

She kissed him like she didn’t care about his disfigured lips and he kissed her like it was the last thing he would ever do.

Both of them kissed like they had been starving for this and now there was nothing left to lose and by the end of the kiss both of them were crying.

A soft sob rose in his chest, fading into a huffed out laugh and he seemed drunk with fondness for her.

She only smiled, wiping his tears as he wiped hers before leaning in again to kiss her warm, soft lips once more with more urgency this time, in disbelief that he would get to experience something like this after all.

Something that made him feel less alone, more like any normal young man instead.

A wave of warmth flooded him when he felt a small, soft hand slip underneath his nightgown, resting on his bare stomach and when he pulled away from the kiss, his cheeks flushed he recognised the desire in her eyes.

Honest and playful as she was and despite his nervously racing heart he gave her the most timid nod.

There was no fear within either of them now, uncertainty perhaps and pain surely, worry about what the future might bring but they had each other after all.

Each other and a life time left to love, however long that might be.

[mt-oe]

I love ur workkkk 🥺🥺 … my heart melted

Can I request a mizu x reader in which reader was upset with mizu , and mizu trying to make reader feel happy with her ( I know I worded it poorly 😭😔. English is not my first language 😔). this can be sfw or nsfw. u write the spiciest nsfw stuff 😉

✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧

Hey dear!

Thank you so much for requesting! I'm so sorry if this was WAY overdue. I'll try to make up for it by writing as best as I can <3

Also, please don't think too much about how you worded it. Trying to communicate your ideas, regardless of how you worded it, is already enough.

On an unrelated note, I am temporarily closing my inbox so I can catch up on requests. I wouldn't want to rush since that might compromise the quality of the fics. I deeply appreciate the messages and comments and would really like to answer them but I'm still too shy ;; I promise I'm really trying. Please don't get mad or disappointed in me. Thank you for understanding!

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! Mwa mwa :*

warning/s: not proofread, she/her for mizu, implied afab reader

Mizu has done a lot of things before. Her sword has known the blood of many, cut through numerous organs, and had seen death like it was the next door neighbor. The fights she had fought were more ferocious than what most warriors could stomach. With a will of steel and the mind of a tactician, a capable swordsman she truly was. But...

How the hell was she going to get through this one?

Cerulean orbs narrowed as she watched you, or more precisely, your back. Her gaze roaming from the tips of your hair to the way your back slumped. Your huffs and whispered grumbles were the only sound that could be heard from the room.

She could feel her palms sweating and her fingers running cold. Not a single coherent thought formed in her brain from how unnerving the situation was. For the first time in her life, she was faced with an opponent she did not know how to defeat.

And this opponent was strong. Not even the swing of her sword or the strength of her hands could quell the wrath and sheer rage of this enemy. Mizu knew she had to plan her next move well or this could cost her everything.

And this opponent...was her wife's anger.

Yes, the ronin who quite literally bit someone's nose, survived a fall from several stories high, burned down Edo, was utterly helpless under her lover's wrath.

"I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" she asked, placing a hand on your shoulder, trying to pull you to face her. A groan of frustration boiled at her throat as you shrugged her hand off harshly. "I said I was sorry. What else do I have to do?" you mocked her, imitating her low voice before sticking your tongue. "Go figure it out yourself! Hmph!"

This was so stupid, she thought. But despite the words in her head, she was utterly lost.

All this drama just because she missed a kabuki show that you wanted to watch?

Sure, you had told her ahead of time. Sure, you already planned it out. Sure, you were already at the venue. But it was just a goddamn stage play, what were you so upset about? There would be another show next week with the same story anyway, and if you were so excited to watch, you could have watched it without her.

So what was the big deal about it?

She rolled her eyes before standing up, looking at you in resignation. "Fine, sulk," she grumbled in response, to which you stuck your tongue out. She rolled her eyes once again before strapping her sword to her waist. "Talk when you're no longer acting like a brat." And with those words, she left, slamming the door and causing it to bounce open slightly.

Upon hearing her footsteps fading, you immediately let out a loud sigh. You turned to look at the spot where your lover had previously sat on with a sense of hurt. "But I wanted to go on a date..." you whispered to yourself, throat tightening.

This was one of those moments where you really just had to say, 'it is what it is', and pretend to not get hurt.

You knew Mizu wasn't the most romantic person on the planet. Hell, it was even a surprise that she asked you out. However, there were times when you wished you could open her head and shove some cheesy romance novels, because how the fuck did she not get that you were asking her out on a date?

Urgh.

"What am I even expecting?" you asked yourself out loud, bringing the tickets you had bought for both of you. Tickets that were wasted just because she thought training and buying supplies were more important than spending 4 hours watching a play in a theater with her wife. "Maybe next time I'll just watch her train."

You love her. Of course you did. And you knew she loves you too, but sometimes her inability to understand or express romance made you question it.

Slowly and painfully, you tore up the tickets and fed it to the candle flame, watching as it turned to ashes. Welp. There goes your idea of a romantic evening. "And I planned it for so long too," you sighed as you brought your knees to your chest.

Unbeknown to you, your wife had secretly sneaked back, sitting beside the small door crack she had intentionally made earlier. A small frown on her face as she realized how much she fucked up.

You were right.

You did plan it for a long time. She could see your eyes widen every time the two of you passed by the theatre whenever you went out for supplies, filled with excitement that she couldn't understand then. And you already told her early, so it wasn't like it was out of the schedule or out of the way. Most of all, you were already at the venue.

You were waiting for this for such a long time.

You were waiting for her for such a long time.

And she wasted your efforts. She somehow thought that what you were so eager for was something she could trade for a few hours of extra training.

Guilt welled up in her as she continued to listen to your sighs, peeking inside the room every now and then to make sure you were okay. Her heart clenched in an odd, unfamiliar, yet extremely uncomfortable way at the sight of your frown.

Damnit. Mizu knew she messed up big time. However, even if she felt absolutely terrible, she also knew she couldn't just come back in and reveal that she had just watched you go through five stages of grief in less than an hour or else you'd feel like you forced her to apologize. But how could she make up for this?

As she was deep in thought, thinking of ways on how she could apologize, she suddenly heard the soft padding sound of your feet on the tatami mat as you stood up. "I guess I'll take a nap. Maybe I'll feel better when I wake up," she heard you sigh for the umpteenth time.

Her eyes watched you stretch before pulling the futon out of the closet and set it up. Your hands carefully undid the pins stuck to your hair before laying down, pulling the covers over you, the frown you wore never dissipating.

She could feel her conscience weighing down on her, telling her what a dense idiot she was. The feeling hitting her like a ton of bricks as she watched you slowly fall asleep with a heavy heart.

No, she wasn't going to let your day go on like this. If she fucked up, she's fixing it up.

Slowly and carefully, she got up and sneaked away, leaving the inn and going to the market. No matter how unexperienced or how unknowledgeable she was with how to comfort a person, Mizu was going to try her best.

-

Hours passed and the short nap you had planned turned into one of the longest one you've had yet. It wasn't a pleasant one, but it wasn't the worst either. Your eyes slowly fluttered open before squinting at the faint glow of the candle. The world felt slightly heavy and tilted as your head spu—wait? The candle?

"Oh shit," you whispered, shooting up and looking around in panic, head still spinning from grogginess. Oh no, you forgot to blow out the candle before your nap and accidentally kept it burning. Mizu was going to pissed at you, especially since it was the last one.

But wait—

Shouldn't it have burnt out already?

You brought the back of your hand to your eyes, rubbing away the sleep and grogginess to have a better look around. However, upon looking up, surprise took over your senses.

The room was...decorated?

Or at least there was an attempt.

At a distance from the foot of your futon sat your lover with a wooden crate in front of her. A bit of relief washed over your body as you realized that she had taken care of the candle for you, but still, you were heavily confused. "Mizu...what's going on?" you asked, yawning a bit.

She looked at you with the same emotionless stare she had before sighing. Her hands slowly turned the crate around so the opening was facing you. It was decorated too, and even if it was poorly recreated, you could recognize the setting. It was very similar to the kabuki theater you wanted to go to.

From her back, she brought out two dolls. One wearing a kimono in a color similar to what you were wearing, and one male doll that looked like a samurai. A heavy exhale could be heard coming from her as the embarrassment started kicking in. Was she really going to do this? Yes, yes she was.

Clearing her throat, she moved the dolls to the makeshift stage as she began her narration. "Once upon a time, in a small village, stayed a ronin and her wife." She glances momentarily at you before looking down again, a faint dust of blush on her cheeks. "Her very beautiful wife," she clarified.

Your eyes widened with a mix of delight and surprise. The grogginess from your sleep wore off at the sweetness of your lover's effort. You couldn't believe it. It was a stage play. A stage play about the two of you.

Her hands moved the dolls on stage, making them hold hands as she narrated the events in the story. "But one day, the ronin, being very foolish, decided to go up in the mountains and train instead of accompanying her wife," she said, dolls moving to match her words.

"And her wife..." she continued, moving your doll to look like it was sulking, "...got very upset." Blue eyes looked at you once again to check if you were still watching. You could tell that she was being very sincere about this.

"Not knowing what to do, the ronin went out to think and realized that she was indeed wrong and had been inconsiderate, that her wife was really just trying to bond and spend time in merriment."

She slowly set the dolls down and readjusted, sitting up straight before bowing her head slightly. "And so, the ronin apologized," she said with all seriousness. "I'm sorry, love. I knew you wanted to go out for so long. I should have appreciated your efforts more. I have no excuses."

Silence embraced the room after, completely amplifying the pounding of her heart as she awaited your response. Jitters ran through her body from nervousness. Mizu didn't dare look up, not until you gave her a response.

Seconds felt like minutes as she waited. An unexplainable kind of anxiety holding over her. What if you didn't like the little show she put? What if she just made your anger worse? Her thoughts were scattering by the millisecond. She wanted nothing more than for you to forgive her.

Her heart stopped as she saw your hands reach for the dolls, looking over them before making your doll face her doll.

"And the wife accepted the apology," you giggled, bending your dolls head slightly so it would kiss the representing her. Before she could speak, she felt your lips on her cheek. The sweet sound of your laughter soon followed, making her blush.

You lifted the dolls up to eye level and looked at them fondly. "You really went out and beyond, didn't you?" you laughed, wiggling them around in some form of cuteness aggression. She lifted her head and smiled softly. "I didn't know what to do," she admitted, finding your fondness for the dolls adorable. "And I really wanted to go back to my wife."

"You could have just said sorry, dummy. But.." your voice trailed off, eyes looking back at your wife's, leaning closer to her. "This made me unbelievably happy," you admitted. "Thank you, love."

Your wife's smile widened as you leaned in and kissed her softly. Her hands instinctively pulling you closer. Love and affection radiated from her as both of you pulled away, gazing lovingly into each other's eyes. Her breath hitched as you opened your mouth, anticipation building up regarding what you were going to say.

"But next time you do that, you're sleeping without a futon."

"Yes ma'am"

[gyuswhore]

Never Shall We Die [teaser]

«« Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line »» 

PAIRING: kwon soonyoung x reader

PLAYLIST: right here!

SYNOPSIS: Deadliest pirate on the high seas or a damn fool?

The stupid King and his men have snatched Hoshi's precious pirate ship with their too clean, too soft hands; grounds to question his own vices. Except, when he and his crew land in the quarters of a navy ship, revenge on their roster, they stumble across a princess in its gallows.

Hoshi wonders if he's just struck gold, or if you'd become the final tread to his downfall.

GENRES: pirate!au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst, fluff, smut [minor dni], some pirates of the carribean vibes but ? idk

WORD COUNT [full fic]: est. 30k | [teaser]: ~1k

RELEASE DATE: est. May 19th, 2024 - may change

‼️PLEASE SEND AN ASK OR REPLY TO THIS POST TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST (ageless blogs WILL NOT BE ADDED)‼️

masterlist

WARNINGS [!is subject to change upon publishing of the full fic!]: slowburn, being taken hostage, knives, bombs, and guns, mentions of blood, mentions of SA (does not happen and it is not explicitly mentioned), alcohol, mentions of death (patricide), hoshi is ✨selectively moral✨but kind of moral nonetheless, smut tags to be added in the full fic

[AN]: hai i am back with another monstrosity 😃 biggest thank you to @highvern for brainstorming with me and beta-ing for me, this fic would not exist without her!!!!! im super excited for this to come out, its my best work yet and i hope you all like it too!!!!

teaser under the cut!

“Did your stupid father drop you on your head as a baby?” 

Hoshi stands before you under the light of the midnight moon, an incredulous expression on his face. You try to keep the scowl off your own but it proves difficult when his voice pierces your skull. 

You ignore him from your position on the floor, “I know my father, and I know he loathes you enough to finally want you and your incompetent crew gone for good.”

He scratches his chin, “Can’t be that incompetent if he hates us so much.”

“I can help you.”

“You were ready to die than to be on the same ship as us a few hours ago. What’s changed?”

“Perspective,” you shrug in an attempt to remain nonchalant. 

“Are you gonna go back to wailing in the morning then?” 

God, this was going to be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. 

“You want your ship back and you were hoping for someone less important to exchange it for. But you’re stuck with me and you know it’s not going to end well for you. You need my help.” 

“Why so merciful, miss princess? Are you not on your father’s side?” 

You gulp as discreetly as possible.

“I want something in exchange.”

He raises his eyebrows, staring at you to continue. 

“I want you to kill my father.”

If his eyebrows were raised before, they’ve broken for the skies now. He leans his head back, eyes closing for a moment before reopening, reigning back to you before asking very gracefully; “What?” 

“I want you to kill my father.”

“No, I got that bit,” he snaps. “Your father as in, the King?”

“Yes, as you’ve pointed out far more times than anyone else.” You can’t help but roll your eyes despite the weight of the situation and the hammering in your chest. 

He stares at you in an expression you can’t quite read, and it unsettles you deeply. For a moment, you wonder if you’ve gravely miscalculated, watching as he moves around the mast you’re tied to. Out of the corner of your eye you see the metal glint of a dagger, and you nearly short circuit. 

Is he about to cut my hands off?

You feel a distinct tug at your wrists, the sound of slicing, and the voice in your head asking why it didn’t hurt. 

Suddenly your hands are free, intact and free as you achingly bring them in front of you, wincing audibly at the pain of moving them after so long. 

“You can jump into the water if you’d like, I won’t stop you.” He walks back over, sitting cross legged opposite you, at eye level. 

“What?”

“You’ve clearly gone mad, I’ll find another way to get my ship back.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Of course, and I utterly enjoy having a kingdom’s worth of blood on my hands. Shall I take the entirety of the court down while we’re at it?”

“Why are you acting like you’re above murder? Another part of your strange moral code?” 

“No, no, not above it at all. But I like my head and rather not have it guillotined. They might skim over the death of some too-nosy soldier but I doubt they’d leave me be after I put a bullet between the King’s eyes.”

“I’ll protect you.”

He looks at you for a moment, “Quite reassuring.” 

You sit up straighter, licking your lips as you prepare yourself. “My father isn’t a good man.”

The pirate captain snorts, “Oh, I’m well aware.”

You try not to stare too hard at the still unsheathed dagger that he digs into the floorboards, knifing out splinters in disregard. 

“My father doesn’t want me home, he wants the crown home. He wants me to be a carbon copy of himself, he wants to be in control long after he’s gone.” You try not to grind your teeth too hard but it’s difficult when your father’s face burns behind your eyelids. “I want control over the throne, full control.”

“And your conclusion is to eliminate him.”

“I don’t have another choice.”

“Then what? You’ll pardon me and my crew after we get our hands dirty for you?” he asks, eyes wide in mock hope. 

“Yes. You can do whatever it is that you sail about doing and no one will be of bother. I might ask you for sparing favours. For a wage of course. But other than that, you can live as lawlessly as you wish.”

“You’re asking me to become your personal lackey?”

“Having a queen’s favour is no small feat I hope you’re aware. Besides, it's a leap better than the hoops you’ve been jumping through during my father’s reign.” 

You realised his face had been shrouded by the dark between your negotiating and the clouds that had veiled the moon. Every moment that was supposed to strengthen your understanding of the man that sat across from you only brought you more confusion. 

“You want your ship and freedom of land and sea,” you continue when it’s silent for a beat too long. “I only ask for a small favour in return.”

“I’d argue the miniscule nature of what you’re asking from me,” he scoffs.

“Nothing is too outlandish when it’s a life of liberty on the line.” 

There crawls in the silence once again, the same one that seems to grab you by the throat for every moment that ticks past undisturbed. 

“We’ll have to see to that,” he says, huffing as he gets back on his boot clad feet. You follow him with your eyes as he walks towards the creaky stairs that lead to the lower deck, utterly confused. 

“Where are you going?” you ask, bewildered at his strange behaviour. 

Turning around, just as he had a mere day ago in your quarters and you feel yourself suppressing a shudder. “I have a crew to consult.”

So he was considering it. 

“But you’re the captain.”

“And?”

[starillusion13]

omg Hi! Im not sure if you’re still accepting requests but if you still do… I would like to request an ot8 ateez x reader where they all leave her because of a misunderstanding and then they chase her back after but she doesn’t forgive/give in so easily ? Thank you love ❤️

Lost you forever

Pairing: Ateez! ot8 x fem! reader

Genre: Angst, Mafia, Mature

Warnings: crying, mention of death, poison, mentions of mafia activities like shooting and deals in mafia, misunderstanding, pregnancy(?) [plz tell me if I have missed something] oc doesn't forgive easily coz she is deeply hurt.

W.C: 5.3k (i was so into it sorry)

Note: please I want to thanks to people for reading and reblogging. Reviews are always appreciated 😭. Applause to the ones who come up to me to interact and they know how friendly I am. Okay enough!

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

“I have found her.”

All the noise died down with just one sentence. The room is now pin drop silent with all the heads turned towards the same direction and eyes focused on one person. The one who has just entered through the main door and whose voice made everyone stop in their tracks.

The leader of the group with a blank expression, walks towards the said person and grabs the collar of the leather jacket, eyes burning with his creased forehead but somewhere he wants to believe the words he has just heard.

“You realize what you are speaking right, Mingi?”

Nodding his head, he stares right back, “Absolutely.”

“Are you sure that’s her? Maybe, you might have mistaken someone else.”

Closing his eyes for a second, he sighs, “I have seen her with my own eyes, up so close to realize enough that it was her. Her sweet smile and those soft hands, everything is same.”

The one holding his collar loosen his grip and walks over to the table to get back his drink.

“Hongjoong, stop drinking.” The eldest scolds the leader before turning towards the other, “Then where is she and why didn’t you bring back her here? Where exactly did you see?”

“She was working at the café, down the Ross street. The target’s location was last seen in that café and when I reached there, he had already left and then when I heard that sweet voice asking if I need something?”

“did she see you?” The youngest asks him with curiosity filled in his eyes.

“No. I ordered a simple coffee just to see her longer and when she handed it over to me, I felt her soft and innocent hands touching my rough and ruthless ones. I was wearing a mask so she didn’t notice me but she was hiding her pain really well with her sweet smile.”

“But her eyes were telling something else.” Mingi turns towards Yeosang on hearing his response.

Everyone is feeling guilty that they are the reason you are working all alone there and having the pain inside you which your eyes reflect enough to let them know how you are feeling. They have been with you long enough to know every detail of your actions, to read your emotions from afar, to know if you are happy or to realize that you are hiding something then why. Why did they misunderstood you back then and left you all alone helpless?

“I want to see her. Take me there, just tell me which café is that exactly and I will be on my way there.”

“San, calm down. Take it slow. I know that you are eager to meet her like we all are but we can’t just go there like this. You know what we did back that day. I don’t think, she would want to see us again.”

If they had this much power in their hand to erase that day or to change the situation that occurred that day then they would have done long way back but now its impossible to do so. It’s been three years that they have left you but when their mission in this new country led them to cross your path again, they are not going to leave this chance out of their hand. Searching you for so long and not getting any sight of you has made their life a disaster. Hongjoong has been drinking a lot since he found out that he had done wrong with you and not a single member of his gang can control his vigorous nature but being the leader of the uprising mafia gang, he has to control his limits to not let the opposition know his weakness. Yunho is not better than him here, being the fighter of the group, he is overdoing and exhausting himself just because he can’t get you out of his mind and showing his anger on others. Well, Seonghwa needs to be calm here as being the eldest, he finds this as his responsibility to check if his members are doing okay and him being the second in command has to be with the leader most of the time. But the question is how can he just pretend that he doesn’t think about you, his thoughts are always storming inside his head which are revolving around how to get you back. San is restless, he is almost every time being out of the house doing illegal shits without even informing the leader and just messing up things, which sometimes almost bring them to face a hectic situation but thanks to Wooyoung who is always there to save him but what about himself. He is the one who would show his emotions up his sleeves but when it comes to get you back, he is lost in a void. He doesn’t even know whether to be angry, upset, mad or just forget about you. Forget about you? Is it even possible? Mingi is always out of the base, he has taken upon himself to look out for the targets and engaging with the spies all around to know the motives of other gangs and be prepared but one thing is always flashing to him, thoughts of you. Jongho has kept himself silent for most of the times, away from his members and just trying his way to find out where you are. Are you even alive? He is always there to bug Yeosang to find you in every corner of their hometown but you were nowhere to be found and once they had lost all hope of you being alive. Yeosang has taken the job of being hacker too seriously and that just to find you till the last cell of his data but everytime, he is just getting disappointed.

🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚🐚

“Thank you for your order. Have a great night ahead.”

You smile sweetly towards the customer who just left the café and its almost nine at night so you should get prepared to leave for the night. You are always the last worker to leave on the busy scheduled day as you live just few houses away from here and the manager is too sweet to even let her guard accompany you to reach your house. She once requested you to do the extra night shifts on busy days as other workers live bit far away and you could be much helpful to her. She has this warm motherly aura and so you couldn’t reject her request.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry that you had to stay back late again. It’s Halloween season and you know how people are crowding over here.” Your manager having a guilty expression on her face approaches you.

“Oh no, it’s really fine with me. I can keep my mind off with some stuffs while working here so it’s not a big problem. I rather enjoy being here than staying at home and overthinking.”

“You are so sweet. You should take some leaves and rest for few days as I haven’t seen you taking leaves or going out with someone. Don’t waste your young age everytime working here. Have some enjoyment and refresh your mind.”

“Working here gives me the happiness. I don’t think being with someone can actually refresh my mind or rather haunt me…..Nevermind, you must go back as your son is waiting for you and after getting everything back to it’s place, I will hand over the keys to Mr.Lee.”

Nodding her head and waving at you, she rode back to her place leaving you and Mr. lee, who must be in the locker room getting his stuff and later waiting for you outside.

Arranging all the stuffs, it took twenty minutes as your other co-workers had almost done everything before leaving and the previous orders were simple so you didn’t have much to do. Picking up your bag from the counter, you give a final glance to the place to make a mental note if everything is fine. Satisfied with the result, you quickly went outside to see him already standing and waiting for the keys but he is looking impatient.

“Are you fine, Mr.Lee?”

“U-uh yeah…” sweats visibly lining the forehead and lips quivering. Why is he sweating in this cold night?

“If you need help, please do tell me.”

“Actually, I need to leave early… my daughter needs some help and she has just now called me so I think I cant go with you today.”

“Its fine with me. I can manage on my own, its just few steps and I will be home so don’t worry and leave. I hope your daughter is fine.”

He thanked you several times and left. Like always, your smile is still having that warmth even in this chilly night. Your hands rub your arms and you start walking towards your block. Everything is like usual until you start to feel someone is following you but waving it off as if it must be your fear of walking alone without him. Also, it’s Halloween and anything creepy can happen. Even the children’s pranks are creepier than ghosts. You quicken your steps, hands gripping the bag tightly.

You feel a hand on your shoulder and you almost had screamed when another hand pressed over your mouth, shutting you up and muffling your scream. Your eyes closed tight and hands trying to remove the palm from over your mouth.

“Y/N. Don’t be afraid, it’s me.”

You froze. Not due to the chilly wind just blew past you but because of the very familiar voice. Familiar? You don’t think it has that same familiarity like before. Every morning, this used to be the first voice you would listen while waking you up and engulfing you in a big bear hug. That’s past as now you are used to being wake up with your alarm or nightmares. Just a reminder, he is the part of causing that nightmare.

Parting your eyes, you can see the tall man standing in front of you. Looking down at you with a soft look on his face, teary eyes and hands slowly slip down from your mouth to your biceps to hold them firmly. The street is brightly lit due to the decorations for the occasion so everything is very clear for your eyes. You stare back at him and not knowing how to react as your body and mind is going against each other but you know a little part of your heart still beats for him, for them.

He is about to pull you in for a hug when you stop him with your hands pressed over his chest, preventing him from coming any closer.

“Y/N….”

“Stop it. You should not just hug randomly someone. You may know me but sorry I can’t really remember you.”

“Random? You are my angel. I want to hug you and say sorry for what I have done. Don’t pretend that you don’t know me, please tell me you have missed me equally.”

“Look, you must have mistaken me with someone else but I’m not her.”Pushing his hands off from you, “Even if I know your name doesn’t mean I know you, you are just like the rest of the customers in my daily life whose name I have to hear often. So it’s nothing special and as I don’t hear your name anymore maybe I would forget it forever.”

“Y/N!”

You make a ‘tsk’ sound on hearing him shout your name. Even if they pretend to be polite or gentle with you, they are the ruthless uprising mafia gang so what do you even expect less from them while controlling their aggression?

“This is you. Shout on me. Blame on me. but. Don’t show your kindness to me again. You have literally showed your true colors that day and look here we are. Standing face to face and you still shouting on me just like that day. You are still the same, Yunho.”

Hearing his name coming out of your mouth after three years is sending a wave of warmth to his heart. Atleast, you called him by his name even though your words are straight away piercing his heart like a sharp knife, you haven’t spoken to him like this ever but he knows he deserves it for leaving you that day.

A black SUV comes to a stop near to a side of you both. If it were any other time, you swear you would have got frightened but the raging veins with hatred towards him is not minding any danger surrounding you. You didn’t look at it’s direction but can hear several footsteps are nearing you. Why are you not scared? Is it because you are feeling safe in his presence? No, it’s just you don’t want to be saved or show your weakness, atleast in front of him.

“Doll.”

Don’t turn back. You are just imagining things. He can’t be hear even yunho is not here, right? You want to believe this but the presence behind you is too near you, his warm hands placed over your shoulder sending a jolt through your body. It may be warm but is lacking the warmth, you can only feel the coldness of feelings there. Turning around, you look into the eyes of Mingi, who just called you with the name he gave you on your first date with him.

Okay, so everyone is here. All the eyes are just looking at you, only you. If it was something back in those days then you would have become shy and hide behind Yunho and not look at them but this time, your daring eyes precisely staring back at them. Their eyes filled with regret meeting your eyes filled with hatred.

“Why are you all here?”

“For you.” Hongjoong replies quickly enough and this made you raise your brow.

The scene is like a deja-vu, very similar to the last time you had seen them. Them circling you under the night sky and you are the centre of the situation but that time, they had that rage in their eyes for blaming you and hoping you to vanish from their eyesight but this time, they have the fear…of losing you again.

“it’s not funny. If you all are going to have some Halloween pranks on people then go somewhere else, don’t waste my time.”

“It’s really not funny and also not a prank. We are really here for you.”Hongjoong said calmly.

“And? You got to see me. You needed to know if I’m alive or not and now you might kill me as I already know a lot of your things and it’s dangerous for you all to keep me alive. Go ahead, shoot me.”

“Y/n, are you insane? How can you think like this that we will shoot you?”

“San, it’s very obvious from the way you were pointing the gun to my forehead with fire in your eyes.” You point to the middle of your forehead with two fingers. They would have found your acts childish but your tone is too harsh for their ears, making it obvious how much hatred you have towards them.

The said man fidgeting his fingers, looking down and a single tear escapes his eyes. The tear of losing you. You are so near to him, just few feet away where he can run to you and hug you tightly and pull you in for a kiss yet so far away because of the way, your eyes glaring at him.

Mingi moves aside when Hongjoong comes in front of you, “Princess-“

“Don’t call me that when you don’t know how to treat one. I’m not your princess. Well, I’m no one to you.”

No one to him and this word burns his heart. Not only his but others too. Still he tried to speak to you.

“Whatever happened that day, we are really guilty for that. We are extremely sorry to treat you that way. I don’t know what happened to me and I put the blame on you, thinking it was your plan, everything I had lost that day was because of me and I lost you but trust me, each day I have spent regretting for this. Please forgive me. Please.”

He is no more holding back his tears, being a leader is a great responsibility and controlling his emotions in every situation is the major part but you were always there with him by his side where he could express himself, to show his vulnerable self to you but this time instead of comforting him, you are mocking back at him.

“Are you crying because of regret or losing your mission that day? I’m sure it’s about the shitty mission or what else-”

Yunho turns you around harshly and this time you can see his flaming eyes, “Are you making fun of him? What happened to you really? You have totally changed. This is not Y/N, we knew back then.”

“Exactly, this is not your Y/N anymore. This is me. An orphan who lives alone in this block and works by the café down the street. Also, not nice to meet any of you.”

You give him a blank expression. His grip on you tightens and you just stare at the hold, hissing but not telling him to leave you. Why? Because you want to feel him. No. You want to see how much he can lose control on you and the physical pain is nothing compared to the mental pain, you have gone through the years.

“Please come back to us. We are here to take you back, to your home, our home.”

Seonghwa. Please don’t speak like that. He is a siren for this because even if you want to hate him, his voice is always as if lurking you to trust him, his words which are still soothing to your ears, remembering those feather kisses. No. They are pinching you like a thorn just like your words are doing to his heart.

“There is nothing called ours. My place is here and nowhere else. I guess you don’t know the meaning of a home. Home is somewhere you can feel warmth and comfort, a forgiving atmosphere to erase your pain into happiness. But the place you are mentioning is a prison to me, hearing the name suffocates me, the memories haunt me. Atleast, here, I’m okay by myself, far away from you all but still nothing is a home to me.”

“Why are you saying like this? Please don’t push us away when we just got you back.”

“So? I should forgive you all and get back to you. Never. This is not happening ever.”

You walk towards him, his ears perk up hearing your heels nearing him, Yunho has left his grip on you but his hands aching to touch you again. The memories of you both spending nights together with warm skin against skin, hushed promises surrounded by the burning love but now even if your skin is warm, the touch was cold with numb feelings.

You pull the strap of Seonghwa’s jacket and other hand block his hand which he was about to raise and swiftly pull the gun out, pointing it towards his forehead. Others come to a warned position.

“If I shoot you here and wait enough to bleed you to death.” You turn to look back at them, their surprise faces looking back at you but no one daring to step forward. “Then if I say, please forgive me. Will it be worthy?”

“But…but we didn’t hurt you. We…we just….” San doesn’t know how to complete his sentence. He is lost within his own words. Seeing you after years, your coldness towards them, even pointing gun towards one of their member and remembering how you and him were in the same position last time causing his hands shake. So ironic for a mafia member. No matter how strong they are, how ruthless they can be but when it comes to you, you are their weakness.

“It’s not always hurting someone physically. Their way of act towards you speaks volume and the words you told me while pointing the gun is way more painful than if you would have actually shoot me.” Turning, towards Seonghwa, “You have already killed me that day. I am dead for you.”

“Baby, please don’t say like this.”

“How many times do I need to tell you that I’m nothing to you all? Stop calling me names.”

Wooyoung’s eyes go wide on hearing your shout. He is so much taken aback by your outburst that he is almost looking helpless towards Mingi standing near him.

“I’m sorry…I mean…please don’t say like this. You are everything to me, to us. You don’t know how messed up we were when we left you. I���m so sorry to leave you but please atleast lets forget about that incident and please come back to us.” Wooyoung stutters but not again using the endearment.

Mingi chirps in, “Human can may make mistakes. Whatever happened that day, we know it was not your fault, it was a mistake and we really forgive you for that. I’m sorry for being harsh on you.”

“Yes. We are really guilty. We should have listened to you but rather we blamed you on the spot and said such harsh words which even if I want to take back, I can’t. I didn’t let you to explain but ended up on a conclusion.” Wooyoung ends the sentence with tears spilling from his eyes silently.

Do you forgive them? Yes. but Why? They are still telling you it was your mistake. You cant forgive them so. No.

“So you still think that it happened because of my mistake? It was an accident?”

“Y/n…”

“Stop it, Yunho. Don’t speak a single word. I’m getting annoyed with you.”

Your steps come to a stop in front of Wooyoung whose eyes are shining to get you so close to him. He raises his hands but got yanked away by you. Maintaining a straight eye contact with him, you grab his collar.

“look at me and say that it was my mistake. It all happened because of me.”

He remained silent. He parts his lips but nothing coming out and this is making you impatient.

“Tell me!”

Hot tears streaming down your eyes. Still your body is not getting enough warmth and craving for it during the cold night in that lonely street. Even if you are with all of them still you are feeling alone. Your vision is getting blurred but you roughly rubbed your eyes with the sleeves of the shrug. Your breathings are getting heavy and you are losing control.

The youngest pulls away Wooyoung from your hold and holds your red hands in his grip which are shaking due to the tight fist.

“Please, calm down. It’s me Jongho. It’s not your fault. No one is blaming you. Take deep breathes and calm down.”

He knows that you are hyperventilating and he still knows how your body is reacting and you hate this. You harshly pull your hands away from his hold.

“Don’t touch me. My body aches when I remember how I let you monsters to touch me, everywhere, every day. I’m feeling so ashamed of myself. Don’t make me regret more. I hate the fact how you still know this about my body and am beyond surprised that you still remember me. Oh wait, you have to remember every detail of your enemy before plotting a nice plan and attacking them, right? And today is the perfect day.”

“You are not my enemy. You are my-“

“Stop. Don’t complete that sentence, Jongho.”

“Don’t speak to him like that, he was not even there during the whole mission, he was in for a quick need for back-end support for Yeosang.”Mingi says in a moderate tone.

“But was there long enough to blame me.”

Hongjoong places a firm hand on Mingi’s shoulder, “No one is blaming you. It was an accident and you didn’t know what to do there.”

“I know that whatever you did was to save yourself and I’m glad that you are fine.”

You stare at Hongjoong for a few moments and then burst out laughing like a maniac. Any other person would have found you weird and commented that you have gone mad. Even they would have made fun of you and teased you that how foolish you looked like while laughing like this.

Frustrated groans and your hands raising to your scalp and you mess your hairs. You are totally acting like a drunk person.

“hongoong, did you hear what he just said? Did you hear everyone? He said that I did that to save me. Huh. To. Save. Me.”

You skip steps towards yeosang and slap him, “You think I have killed Mr. Kim to save myself?”

“Y/n!”

You could barely hear Seonghwa and Yunho’s shout when you grabbed Yeosang’s biceps and shake him. He is shocked not just because you have slapped him but seeing you losing your mind like this and having no control over your actions and he is still thinking that something like this might have happened which cause you to kill Mr.Kim.

“Tell me Yeosang. You think I did it for myself? Tell me.”

Nothing he said in reply, just stared right back at you, the only thought running through his mind is to hug you and say that he won’t be leaving you again. He would protect you from the whole world. His daily searching to get your location was always in vain and he still can’t believe his eyes that you are standing in front of him but your eyes showing the amount of hatred in you for him. a helpless cry audible to his ears to which he was deaf during last time.

“So, you do think it is.”

You take a few steps back, staring back at each of them. San tried to come near you but Yeosang stopped him and shook his head.

“I…I did it…I killed him…It was not an accident.” You look up to the sky and smile to yourself, “I did it to save my family. I shoot him to save you all from his evil planning. You all were my family and I tried my best to face him, my hands were shaking, head was spinning. I couldn’t place the actions and words right in place but I knew I had to do it to save you all.”

“save us?” Hongjoong asks you in surprise.

You chuckle sadly, “Your beloved dad had only invited you to the party so that he could destroy you and your gang. He realized that you are not his own son and Jungwoo is his real son so to give him all the power, it was a better option to erase you from the path. I got to know this because Jungwoo told me and he didn’t want to support his dad in this way and somehow mr.Kim tried to kill me when he heard that I wont let you join the party.”

“That’s why…that’s why…you were whining to spend time with us and cancel the schedule.”

You nod on Jongho’s statement.

“I didn’t know how to stop you so before I could come up with a plan, you were already in your way to catch your target at the party held by Mr.Kim. And…and…when I tried to follow you all, he caught me and poisoned me.”

“Why did he poison you?” Wooyoung almost shout hearing this.

“He wanted to see you all going down first seeing me die and then it would be fun to end you. He really succeeded here.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asks you slowly. You glance towards him but nod a bit.

Picking up your bag which is lying on the floor because of the previous commotion, you look down and tears flowing continuously, “even when I was poisoned, I escaped from the room and when I reached the scene, you were already in the middle of the bloody scene with your target. He was going to leave the place and would leave you all dying in the bomb blast and that’s how I thought it was best to kill him.”

“You didn’t tell that you were poisoned, we thought you were acting of feeling sick.” Even though Seonghwa confessed what he did feel right back then still he is feeling guilty towards you. You stare right back into his eyes.

“When I shot him in front of you all, Hongjoong snatched the gun from me and you harshly pulled me towards the exit and then it went on with you all blaming me.” You cast a glance towards San, “you pointed the gun at me and threatened me to kill if I don’t spill whose spy I was. You even doubted me with Jungwoo that we were cheating behind you and it was our plan to destroy you.”

Huh. Such cheap thought they had. They all blamed you and called such names and even threatened to kill you. It was not enough that they even insulted you in front of everyone present in the party even tried to prove your imaginary relation with Jungwoo.

“I’m sorry…”

“Mingi. Say sorry to Y/N who was trying to explain everything to you all, who was enduring the pain of spreading poison in her body and was still trying to protect you. Go hug her and pull towards you and say everything is okay, whose hands were shaking because she never killed anyone in her life before despite you all trained her in every field for her self-defence. Go and listen to her and ask her. Are you fine?”

He can’t match your eyes so he looks down regretting his every move, you throw a dirty look at him yet somewhere your eyes showing a little bit of sympathy. Your body still reacting to their touch and wanting to run to their embrace making you hate yourself.

“You can’t go. She is dead. Your Y/N is dead. Congratulations, you have killed her that day. You have killed a new life with her as well. She didn’t even get to know who her father is. Mission completed Boss.”

You stare straight and boldly towards Hongjoong.

“Her? Father? What are you saying?” Yeosang is impatient on hearing such things from you. He is confused just like the others and their heart is racing whereas yours is calm but painfully beating.

“I have lost my first baby and one of you lost the honour of being the father for the first time. It was too late when I woke up in the hospital, the poison had already been spread too much. I don’t know how I am still alive but maybe atleast Jungwoo didn’t leave my side.”

It was a big storm for them. As if the ground disappeared from underneath their feet. You were pregnant and they were unaware of it. If only they had agreed with your warnings, then they would have been having a happy family time with you and their baby together. No matter whose baby she was, she would have been theirs, they all would have given their fatherly love to her.

Without saying any more word, you begin to walk towards your way and didn’t even look back for the last time towards them.

“Y/N…”You heard wooyoung calls you from behind and they might follow you.

Still facing your back towards them, you speak slowly but audible enough for them, “Don’t follow me or come to find me again. You have left me that day, helplessly crying in the garden. Don’t expect me to forgive you and go back to you again.”

You walk away, far away from them where your silhouette getting lost in the painful dark but they know atleast you are safe and alive beyond that darkness. Their eyes follow the last bit of your presence.

They won’t be giving up on you like this. They will get you back someday but they also know that they have lost a part of you forever.

“I love you but I have lost you.”

PART 2

Perma Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123 @sanwifesstuff @kiwiisnthereoops @kiwiraccoon [open!]

[whoopsyeahokay]

October Sun

summary: a near-death experience hadn't been enough to deter you from getting to the bottom of things. one of those things had been, holy shit, Maddie!? and there had been questions, and Ajay and Wally hadn't known what not to say, but who'd cared because, "Oh my god, Maddie, I can see you!"

pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.

bon reading, frens

___________________________💀

OCTOBER SUN pt.23

With great reluctance, Wally separated from you, his heart still lodged in his throat from what had almost unfolded. He scanned you up and down to ensure you were in one piece before he turned and walked toward Maddie. She looked distressed, wracked with guilt, her eyes watery and her mouth severely anchored at the corners.

She gazed up at Wally, utterly distraught, and sniffled, "I didn't...I didn't mean to. She can see everyone else, I just wanted..." Her shoulders shook with the effort it seemed to take not to break down right then and there, "Tell her I'm sorry, please, Wally, tell her I didn't mean it."

Wally wanted to fold Maddie into a bear hug like the ones his grandma used to give him; to give her the solace she seemed desperately to need, but first, he had to understand why you'd asked him to touch her shoulder. It'd taken him a second to figure out that that's what you meant, that something had happened when he'd tried to pull Maddie back before she'd collided with you in her effort to get your attention, but once he'd realized, he couldn't suppress the hope that blossomed within him.

With a sympathetic look, "I know," he told Maddie in a quiet voice, "it was an accident." She nodded miserably, body curling away from Wally even as he reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. He turned to look at you, and asked, "Like this?" before stepping aside to see if anything had changed.

Indeed, something had shifted, Maddie becoming just that little bit more solid under his hand. He'd never noticed how she'd been slightly apart from himself and the others, a faint breadth less tangible, until it was made abundantly clear when you gasped and bolted forward, gathering Maddie against you in a wholesome embrace.

Wanting to give you and Maddie a moment, Wally removed his hand and, instantly, you were left holding nothing, arms collapsing against yourself and your body slouching sideways, out of Maddie's hold.

"Do it again!" You implored Wally, clutching his wrist and yanking him back into place. The connection flushed under the skin beneath your palm, white-hot through his veins, and it took everything in him not to pin you to him and kiss you deeply; to stake his claim in front of the others. You must've felt similarly because your next instruction was forced out, breathy, "And don't let go of her."

He did as told, placed his hand back on Maddie's shoulder, and felt her become a sturdier presence once more. Wow, Wally gaped, acutely aware of how in the dark Rhonda and Charley must feel, probably unable to tell the difference between Maddie before and after. You bundled Maddie into another hug, Wally's hand forced to fall to her shoulder blade, his other hand unconsciously moving to rest on your hip.

"I'm so sorry," Maddie apologized in a quick current of words, "I swear, I didn't mean to make you fall! I would never hurt you."

"I know, it's okay," You squeezed her tighter, "Oh my god, Maddie, I can't believe I can see you!"

"And...touch her, apparently..." Charley commented, making a close circle around you, Wally, and Maddie in examination. "How can you do that? Living people can't touch us."

"Yeah, we usually repel them like a bad smell," Rhonda added, voice marginally less spiky than before, "But Wally grabbed you like it was nothing."

The interrogation concluded with Charley asking, "And why couldn't you see Maddie until Wally touched her?"

That's when it clicked, "You have to invite her in..." Wally muttered, remembering the conversation you and he had had about the intricacies of In Betweens. At once, everyone's eyes slashed to Wally and he gulped, sweat gathering at his brow as it dawned on him that he'd spoken his thought aloud.

Thankfully, you dove in to save him, cutting to Ajay and giving him a pointed look. "You told Wally about In Betweens, huh? I asked you not to do that."

Ajay nodded, lips pressed into a line, "He's my bro," he shrugged stiffly, taking monumental strides to keep up with the lie as it developed. "I told him everything you told me about In Betweens, which are things I know about because you and I talk about them. In Betweens. C r a z y."

Rhonda rounded on him, a whiplash scowl that Wally was eternally grateful not to be on the receiving end of, even though he was the one who deserved it. "And you decided not to share with the rest of the class because...?"

"I told him not to and he probably made Wally swear to keep it a secret, too," You interjected. "Look, my family has a very strict rule against speaking to the dead. If anyone finds out I've been talking to Ajay—" Wally "—and now you guys? I'm fucked. My mom or my great-aunt will step in and I don't exactly know what'll happen, but it won't be good for me or you."

Charley seemed to contemplate your warning, fiddling with the cuffs of his jean jacket, then supplied, "We already decided it's better if we don't tell anyone about Simon." He gave Rhonda and Wally a curt nod which they both reciprocated. Wally didn't know what else to do but play along and consent to something he'd been doing since yesterday. "I think we can all agree to keep this between us, too."

"Yeah. You and Ajay aren't the only ones who can keep a secret." Rhonda commented, every letter dripping with condescension. She barreled ahead like a battering ram and imposed, "You wanna tell us why you couldn't see Maddie until Romeo over there got his mitts on her?"

"And what's an In Between?" Charley included, though he wasn't looking at you. Instead, he eyeballed where Wally's hand rested on your hip, his gaze flicking between there and Wally's face.

Wally did his best to avoid Charley's intense scrutiny, looking everywhere but at him and, oh, the moon was bright; was that garland of stars Orion just above the trees over there? Yeesh, someone should've cleaned up the littering of cigarette butts in the corner... Nothing to see here. Totally normal. Innocent whistle. Moving right along.

Or not.

"Actually, if you wanna start with whatever this is," Charley flapped his hand at you, Wally, and Maddie, though it was very clear what he meant to encapsulate with the gesture, "that'd be nice."

Wally barely held back the whimper of dread that tried to squeak out of him, his grip tightening on your hip.

"That would be nice," Ajay agreed, "I've always wanted to know. Especially after the hoops I had to jump through trying to keep you two apart."

Your face scrunched up adorably in confusion, "Hoops?" Ajay's eye twitched just before Rhonda and Charley served their attention to him. "Hoops!" You rectified. "So many hoops. All those things you did to keep me outta trouble when this weird, mysterious connection tried to derail my life..."

"Okaaay," Charley surveyed you with a trickle of doubt in his tone.

To your credit, you didn't let Charley deter you as you proceeded, "I've never felt it this strongly before. It's like a pull that I can't resist."

"Same," Wally wheezed, "It's like I have to be near her or I'll explode." He used his excuse to his advantage—at least he wasn't lying—and dragged you into his side, wrapping his arm more securely around your waist, all while maintaining contact with Maddie's back.

Rhonda arched a brow, "Explode, huh? Kinky." Wally opened his mouth to protest, but she continued, "Is that why he spent months following you around like a puppy a couple of years ago? I've seen him moon over plenty of little crushes on the living, but that was a lot, even for him."

"Thanks. Rhonda. Really." Wally glared, eyes darkening at her further when a surprised laugh bubbled out of Maddie. You shifted to look up at him, a sweet, playful smile on your lips that Wally wanted to feel on his skin.

"I remember that," You said, quiet, private, just for him, although you had to be aware the others were listening. "I'm sorry I... If I'd thought I could get away with it, I would've said something back then," You confessed and Wally's pulse quickened. You panned back to the others, offering each a significant look, including Maddie whose hand you scooped into your own, "I'm sorry I never reached out and tried to help you, but I'm here now and I will do everything I can to make it up to you."

Finally, Rhonda appeared to soften—not by much, but by enough that Wally felt himself relax for the first time since stepping foot on the roof. Her shoulders sank away from her ears, stance loosened marginally, and she nodded in acknowledgment of your apology.

"Alright, strawberry pie," Rhonda invited, "does this magical connection between you and lover boy have anything to do with why you couldn't see Maddie?"

Wally sensed your relief as if it were his own, your body melting into his side. You and he were off the hook, even if he did suspect he'd be questioned about the connection later. He could already hear Rhonda and Charley (even Maddie) grilling him for information: Why didn't you say anything? Did you always feel it? What does it mean?

"Honestly?" You began, "I don't know how the two are connected but I think they have to be. Not that the connection is responsible for why I can't see Maddie but why I can if Wally touches her. The only logical thing I can come up with is that the connection Wally and I have is actually some kind of manifestation of a soul-tie and that's why he can invite Maddie into my, uh, okay, so the thing about In Betweens—"

"Which is a thing I know about." Ajay inserted.

"—is that they're really...hard...to explain..." You rubbed your temples, obviously trying to gather your thoughts. Wally began to stroke his thumb over your sweater to encourage you to continue. Sinking into him further, you appeared to center yourself, flashing him a small, grateful smile before launching into the same spiel you'd given Wally. As you spoke, Wally pondered the complexities of In Betweens. Now that he thought about it, the fact that you and he shared a soul-tie that transcended life and death and time totally explained parts of why the connection existed in the first place.

He didn't know how or why whatever higher power had decided you two were meant to be whatever you were meant to be, but he felt all the more compelled to preserve the connection. The amount of devotion he'd developed toward you in under twenty-four hours was proof enough that you were or had been or were going to be someone profoundly important to him and he didn't want to lose that. Didn't want to lose you. A feeling he could only convey by pulling you as close to him as possible.

Charley, Rhonda, and Maddie (with Ajay forcefully maintaining an air of previously informed) listened to you, rapt, absorbing the information silently until you finished. Your brief lecture ended with a comment about Maddie and Simon's ineffable bond, that one of them likely had latent abilities similar to yours that allowed them to reach through the veil and communicate with the other.

"Right," Ajay seemed comfortable enough to drop the charade and ask genuinely, "But if Maddie's dead, why is she In Between and we're not? What makes her so unique?"

Wally felt you go rigid beneath his touch and he pressed himself into you, his front a hard, reinforcing line at your back. He observed the others slowly coming to the same conclusion as you struggled to say what needed to be said. To relieve you of the burden, Wally uttered, "She's not dead...is she?" sliding his hand up Maddie's back to hold her shoulder. A friendly, supportive touch that she seemed to appreciate when his statement sunk in.

She gaped at you, "Is it true?"

With a weak smile, you said, "Yeah. At least, it's the only thing that makes sense. Mads, I can see dead people, but I couldn't see you until Wally invited you into my circle. You can't be dead."

"You're sure it's not a fluke?" Maddie asked as tears sprang to her eyes.

"No," You shook your head, "Like I told Wa—Ajay, this shit," A swiping motion in front of your face, "Doesn't get glitchy. I've seen people leave. their. bodies. If you were dead, you and I would've been having a lot of conversations a lot sooner."

The instant you mentioned having witnessed death firsthand, Maddie's face crumpled in anguish. "You mean Ai—"

Rhonda interrupted, "Even though you're not supposed to talk to ghosts?" her snide remark disguised behind a question.

You didn't back down. Gripped Maddie's hand and brought it to your chest, swearing in no uncertain terms, "She's my friend, I would've risked everything to help her," your features fixed in resolution.

And then, just like that—

"Ack!" Wally sprung back, shaking his hand after a jolt of what felt like electricity pricked his palm. The palm of the hand that had been on Maddie's shoulder.

At the same moment, you released her, shifting away, cradling your hand as if you'd also been shocked, staring in disbelief at your hand, then back at Maddie, then back to your hand. It took several beats before either you or Wally realized you could still see her without Wally's intervention, but when it clicked, you darted forward and embraced her all over again. Maddie sniffed into your shoulder, whispering something Wally couldn't hear though it sounded like she was coming to terms with still being alive.

"Are you guys okay?" Charley wondered. He glanced between you, Maddie, and Wally, shifting closer, one arm out in front of Rhonda in an action that reminded Wally of his mama when he'd been in the passenger seat of the car and she'd hit the brakes too hard. Protective in a situation Charley didn't understand the makeup of. "What's going on?"

"The universe just needed to hear me say it," You grinned, parting from Maddie to explain to the others and Wally, "We can Travel the same stream now," and, damn, you were cute when you were excited, eyes alight and cheeks dimpled.

It took tremendous effort not to throw you over his shoulder and carry you away to somewhere you and he could be alone. Wally grinned back when you looked at him. And then his eyes widened in surprise as you decided for him that his effort wasn't necessary and jumped into his arms. He caught you easily, one hand shamelessly on your ass while the other spread wide at the middle of your back.

"Thank you!" You said, face tucked into his throat, and hugged him tightly. "It wouldn't have happened without you." Leaning back slightly, you smiled, as bright and beautiful as springtime, and Wally had to worry that his limbs were about to turn to Jell-O.

"Yeah," He replied, "Anything for you, pretty girl."

From behind Charley, Rhonda announced her disproval to the open display of affection, "Blech," and then shared, "Great, so cherry pop is alive," Wally detected a bitter note beneath the pragmatic tone she used, "Now what? Do you escort her out of here and back to her body?"

"I wish it was that easy." You admitted, brows furrowing. Wally placed you gently back on your feet with a kiss to your hair, no longer concerned that the others would find it suspicious now that you and he had established you were both under the influence of a mysterious connection. He hooked an arm around your collar, placing himself at your back as you reported, "But, according to...Ajay... something is keeping you guys stuck here. The fact that you supposedly can't leave school grounds isn't normal. As ghosts, you should have a lot more agency than that, like, way more than the living."

"And the plot thickens..." Rhonda muttered, the muscles in her jaw ticking as she ground her molars.

Charley and Maddie wore identical expressions of alarm. Recovering quicker, Maddie asked, "You're saying that someone is trapping ghosts here on purpose?"

"Seems that way, yeah."

"What about Mr. Anderson?" Wally could see the gears turning in Maddie's head, "Could he have done this somehow?"

"He wasn't around until ten years ago," Wally answered her, repeating what you'd said that morning, "He might've just taken advantage of the situation."

You nodded to confirm, "Simon and I definitely think he's got something to do with how Maddie was forced out of her body in the first place." Looking at Maddie, you said, "Simon told me about the phone call he overheard and the money in the supply closet. I'd hoped he'd be able to get something out of Anderson's phone but—"

"He stole Mr. Anderson's phone?" Maddie gawped, "Is that why the cops took him?"

"Possibly," You replied, "And now they're not even looking at Anderson because they think Simon had something to do with your disappearance."

Maddie's temper flared, "But he didn't!"

"I know that and you know that, which is why I'm here. We have to find something that'll make the cops take Anderson in."

"We should try the theater," Wally suggested, recalling how freaked Anderson seemed when he'd found you. "He went nuts on a student in there last night."

Rhonda studied Wally briefly before asking, "Is that where you went after supper?"

"Yeah," Wally cleared his throat, "Just wanted to zen out for a bit, but a freshman came in looking for something in the seats," Oh hell yes, he could do this! He stuck close enough to the truth that he could fill in details if anyone tried to poke holes in his defense, probably more proud of himself than he should be for fabricating a decent lie. "Mr. A found them and lost his shit. There's probably something in there he doesn't want anyone to find."

Rhonda gave Wally a look of sardonic glee, "See, doesn't it feel better to act normal instead of pretending you're an idiot?"

"You're never going to let that go, are you?" Wally grumbled while Charley unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh behind his fist.

"What's going on?" You asked.

Wally huffed, "Don't ask. Rhonda is a lying liar who lies."

Rhonda snorted, demeanor adjusting to something Wally hadn't expected from her. Casual, borderline friendly—well, less standoffish which was as friendly as Rhonda got toward newcomers. "I'll tell you about it sometime," She offered you, a rare olive branch in the shape and weight of Group gossip. Then she brought everyone's attention back to more pressing matters, "Okay, so we check out the theater, right?"

Staring at Wally carefully, Maddie fished something out of her pocket and held it up for everyone to see, explaining, "Simon told me about something that went down in the theater last night." Wally's stomach clenched. Busted. "I tried talking to Mina. She wasn't exactly a fountain of information, but I found this on the floor. I was hoping to ask her about it..."

You reached for what Wally identified as the Split River High Devils patch Maddie had shown him, Rhonda, and Charley just before Ajay had retrieved them. Maddie handed it over and you inspected it, chuckling, "Wow. I didn't think these were still around."

"You know what it is?" Maddie asked, "Because I didn't until tonight."

"Rora was a Blue Devil," Ajay said as if lost in thought, staring at the patch. "She played tuba."

"Which is something I told you because we talk. About things. Like my sister." You blurted to cover Ajay's mild fuckup. "Yeah, she was in the band. She still has her uniform and everything."

Maddie mumbled, "I keep forgetting she's, like, twenty years older than you."

"Seventeen," You corrected, and then, "She could've easily ended up being one of the bus crash kids, but she was sick that day. I wasn't even born, so I don't know much, but the way Rory tells it she got food poisoning from the cafeteria lunch the day before. Best worst day of her life."

"Jesus Christ," It fell out of Wally's mouth before he could stop it, stunned that your sister had almost wound up a ghost like the rest of them. Would she have been a looper, too? Or would she have been the only one of the bunch to snap out of it? Fuck, it wasn't worth thinking about, Wally reprimanded himself, his arm sliding down to band around you, his hand unconsciously slipping under your sweater to rest, skin-to-skin, on your waist.

"I know," You mused, solemn, "If she hadn't eaten the fish sticks, she'd be dead."

"This was on the floor in the theater and I think there's something to it." Maddie said, "I don't know if Mr. Anderson is involved or not, but Mina must know something and we need to find out what. It could be what we need to help Simon."

Everyone gave their assent, ready and willing to help, as you offered, "Tell me what to do, Mads, and I'll do it."

Filled with determination, Maddie said, "We need to find some flowers."

"Butter Mina up a bit, huh?" You grinned conspiratorially, "Alright, I'm on it. I can get something together in the morning and bring them to school with me."

"Can you come early?"

"Not gonna lie, I already intended to. Zav agreed to pick me up at dawn so we could sniff around." The face Maddie made when you mentioned Xavier was cold and angry. Wally wasn't sure what you knew and what you didn't, but he remained certain of the fact that you had no idea Xavier had been cheating on Maddie with that cheerleader. "We're all on Simon's side," You assured Maddie, "Even if he and Zav didn't get along before, Zav wants to help."

Maddie cut the conversation there, "Yeah, I'm sure he does," forcing a smile.

"Great, now that that's settled," Rhonda began in an uncharacteristically helpful redirect. Whatever moment she and Maddie had shared during Field Day seemed to have established a fledgling bond between them, Rhonda actively changing the subject so Maddie didn't have to. "How about we go back to why Goldilocks can't get back into her body because we're trapped?"

As you were about to answer, Wally glanced at Ajay and saw him steeling himself for what he was about to expose, "Uhm, about that. There's something I want you guys to see."

‗‗‗‗•‗‗‗‗

Ajay was ahead of you; Rhonda, Charley, and Maddie brought up the rear, leaving you and Wally to walk together in the middle.

"I thought I was going to have a heart attack," He admitted, slinging his arm around your shoulders and pressing a tender kiss into your hair. Butterflies erupted in your belly, the casual affection he'd been doting on you during and since the rooftop making you swoon, pleasantly dizzy from it. "I think Maddie figured out that I wasn't alone in the theater last night."

"If she did, she won't say anything," You promised, cheeks pinking as you regarded him. Wally looked particularly handsome in the moonlight, his features striking. Your pulse quickened as you soaked him in, those sweet-sultry eyes blinking at you when he panned his head to grin down at you. "She's loyal like that," You finished, tongue suddenly sticking to the roof of your mouth.

Ajay stopped a few meters in front of a tree you recognized as one of several that students carved their initials into. It was unspectacular, normal; bushy leaves in autumn colors, and twisty with knots and thick roots. The others caught up eventually, Charley marching a couple more steps ahead of Ajay before Ajay caught him by the back of his jacket.

"Don't want you to end up back in the cafeteria," Ajay said, pulling Charley back to a safe distance.

So, this was the almighty barrier Wally had mentioned. At least, a section of it. You produced your phone from the pocket of your sweater, turned on the flashlight, and carefully neared the tree. With great mindfulness, you picked your way around the bottom of the tree, still managed to stumble and trip here and there where the roots were difficult to see. Nothing stood out to you; some hearts, some graduating years, even a few profanities and one clumsy dick with a crudely marked phone number beneath it. Ordinary stuff that most high schoolers thought was hilarious or edgy.

Returning to the starting point, you placed your hand on the truck, the bark ridges rough under your palm. Closing your eyes, you focused on your breath, deep and even inhales and exhales as you attempted to connect to whatever magic might be hidden within the tree's heartwood. You'd never tried to feel out another person's magic before. You'd never truly referred to it as magic before, either, so this was a night of firsts in many ways. You could sense the spectral weave of the ghosts behind you, the vibration of their buoyant, antigravitational energy. You felt something else ahead of you, barely a hum, as if caged within a lead box—blurry and distant and altogether difficult to pinpoint. In tandem phantom and human.

Then, quite suddenly, a piercing thrust of malicious, vantablack magic made itself known, shoving into you through your palm and sending you stumbling back over the raised roots. Your heel caught and you landed hard, phone falling face-down in the dirt.

"Are you okay?!" Charley called, arms braced against Wally who'd clearly tried to dash forward to your rescue, likely forgetting that he'd be transported back to the football field.

"Babe!?"

You raised a thumbs up and took a moment to let the adrenaline settle. "Fine," You assured, "Probably gonna bruise nasty, but nothing I can't handle." You heaved yourself into a sitting position, eyes scanning up the tree, following the cone of light from your phone to just above the faintest part of its reach. Frowning, you rolled yourself forward onto hands and knees, grabbed your phone and held it up to bring more light to a specific portion of the tree.

"No. Fucking. Way." You gawked.

"What is it?" Rhonda wanted to know, staring at you with a hard expression before glancing between the others. They all shared her question, each taking tiny, measured steps forward.

"It's...it looks like a ritual mark." You told them because, above all the depravity and memory-making, a strange symbol was etched into the bark, the cambium beneath blackened with age. A vertical line that bisected an unsymmetrical diamond with an X slashed through it. You took a picture of it, examined it on your phone as you rejoined the others. The symbol was as familiar as it wasn't; something in its nature niggled at the back of your mind.

In the years before everything had gone to shit, Ginny had spent countless afternoons delighting you with lessons on the craft. She'd taught you about the flora and fauna that harbored ancient energy; what talismans actually benefited the wearer and what were cheap, souvenir shop gimmicks. You'd enjoyed two whole days listening to her lilt the runic alphabet—fehu, uruz, thurisaz, and so on.

The symbol in the tree appeared to be a personal representation of a ritual rune, unlike any you'd seen before; its design unique to the individual and whatever purpose they'd needed it to serve.

"The barrier feels weakest here," Ajay said, "I'd hoped you could find a way to break it."

You hummed in acknowledgment, completely transfixed as you continued to search your memory for the runes Ginny had shown you. "Yeah..." And then, when you'd processed what Ajay had said, "No. Even though it feels weaker, it isn't. The energy is just stretched outward."

"What does the mark mean?" Wally asked, arm already outstretched for you to tuck yourself under. An invitation your body instinctively accepted before your brain caught up to how you'd slid into Wally's space like you were meant to be there.

You lifted your phone to show him the screen, "It looks like someone just hacked random runes together to make their own, but..." Skirting your attention to Ajay, "I bet there are other places around the school where the barrier feels different, too?"

"Four others." Ajay nodded.

"About equidistant apart?"

"That sounds about right, yeah."

Maddie ventured closer, "What does it mean?"

A shiver ran down your spine as you shifted your gaze back to the tree, the weight of the truth looming in the deep, eerie blackness behind it. "It means this was planned."

At that precise moment, a twig snapped in the shadows. Wally repositioned himself, shoving you behind him so he could put himself between you and whatever was out there. The others were on-guard around you as well, the circle they'd stood in shrinking as a figure appeared from out of the darkness. You held your breath, heart racing, and took an instinctive step back. Wally's form blocked you from seeing who it was, but your gut screamed at you to run run run, get out, leave, run, that sense of phantom-human energy shuddering through your veins.

You were ready to submit to the feeling only for, "There you are!" a familiar voice to split through the night, god dammit, seriously?!

"Who the hell is that?" Charley inquired to the group at large.

Quickly, you shoved your phone back into your pocket, moving around Wally in as natural a manner as possible to call out, "Jesus, Dave, you nearly gave me an aneurism!"

Dave emerged from the shadows, blond hair and bright white teeth catching the distant lamplight. He wore an expression of concern, eyes boring into yours, steps measured and steady as he treaded over the raised roots and pitted dirt toward you. Despite predicting what was about to happen, you weren't ready to have Dave haul you into a friends-and-family hug, his arms pinning your elbows to your sides and wringing you hard enough to expel the air from your lungs.

"Aurora sent me out to look for you," He told you, his tone grating against your ear. "I've been driving around for an hour!"

"Well, here I am," You coughed with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. Which wasn't much considering how pissed you were that Dave of all people had been the one sent to perform a search and rescue. And, of course, that your progress with the barrier had been interrupted. Mostly that.

You wriggled out of his embrace, putting some necessary distance between you and him as he motioned to usher you to his car, "I parked down the street. Come on, let's get you home."

"I'm fine, Dave." You said, really, really fighting not to sound as unpleasant as Aurora nagged that you always did when speaking to him. You wanted to argue, to stay and have Ajay show you the other points where the barrier's intensity was altered, however, Dave seemed insistent on returning you to the house. Covertly, you glanced at Wally, wordlessly asking for his input.

"It's okay, baby, we can show you the rest tomorrow morning." He said and the others followed, murmuring their reassurance at separate intervals. All but Rhonda who peered intently into the darkness where Dave had materialized.

"We've totally got this," She added belatedly, distant, distracted, but you took it for the endorsement of your surrender that it was and resigned yourself to trailing Dave to his car.

A scant step or two from the school property line, you heard footsteps behind you. Dave was far enough ahead, nattering on about whatever Aurora or your mother or Nanna had said about you sneaking out at midnight on a Thursday, that you risked turning to see who it was.

Wally jogged up to you, all cheeky smirk and boyish charm, and grabbed you by the arm, abruptly drawing you flush against him and, in a flash, delivering a deep, heated kiss to your lips. His large hand cradled your jaw, thumb caressing your cheek, as he teased your bottom lip with his teeth. A streak of want burned through you, coiling in your belly. A whimper escaped you that Wally swallowed greedily and you could feel the shape of his smirk against your mouth.

As soon as it had begun, it was over. A one-and-done moment. So fast that by the time Dave noticed you weren't at his back, Wally had already detached from you, cheeks flushed and eyes glassy. "Been wanting to do that all day," He chuckled, licking his lips as if to savor the taste you'd left behind.

You hated him just a little bit because you couldn't say anything back. Couldn't tease him or tell him how much you wanted more; couldn't yank him into another searing kiss and have him lay you down in the grass; couldn't do anything except—

"Let's go, champ!" Dave called with his patented Real Estate smile, jingling his keys to signal for you to come. Like a dog. Your faced pinched in bitterness, an expression Wally seemed to find endearing because he chuckled and shook his head fondly.

"Better go, baby, or he might try to hug you again."

"Oh my god, I hate him so much." You grumbled under your breath and Wally all but cackled as he retreated toward the school, catching up with the others as they filed through the door.

‗‗‗‗•‗‗‗‗

In the darkness, meters from the tree you'd been inspecting only minutes ago, a girl wearing your friend's face scowled down at a hand that didn't belong to her, biting her tongue as she pulled one of the loose fingernails from its bed.

Time was starting to run out.

💀___________________________

PART TWENTY-TWO - PART TWENTY-FOUR

also available on AO3!

MASTERLIST

[theroguequeen]

what I really liked about the fight between rhaenyra and daemon was how there were glimpses of their younger versions while showing that both have changed and that rhaenyra becomes more confident in herself.

Younger rhaenyra was trying to hold daemon close while deep down knowing that at that time he was not able to give her a stable relationship and older rhaenyra knows that she is still able to breathe and to function even when he is not there because she had to do it for years. Don't get me wrong, daemon loved rhaenyra back then, he always did but he struggled with his desires and wishes and everytime he would really have to commit to her he left, not because it was what he wanted to do but because not leaving would mean he would have to open up and I think most of the time it was easier for him to tell himself that the circumstances were just not right and that he maybe was scared of having something real to lose this time.

That man tried to escape, tried to drown the what if but still was haunted by it every day while rhaenyra feeled like he abdomend her all over again and tried to build something on her own, becoming a mother and stood up everytime she was pushed down. And with the time passing I think she was able to find some clarity for herself, becoming more confident in what she really wanted. After harwin death and the funeral she was very clear in her words to daemon and it was similar in the fight they had, she was straight forward and she was not afraid to speak up and show her anger and disappointment.

And even younger rhaenyra was not afraid to hold daemon accountable like she did when she came for the dragon egg or at the wedding night when she straight up was challenging daemon. Most people around daemon would never speak to him that way or dare to openly disagree with him but rhaenyra always knew how to approach him. Younger rhaenyra was already really direct and confronting and some of that was shining through when she said "you're pathetic" while still struggling with the memories of all the times daemon just left, abandoned her. Daemon on the other hand did leave after the fight but it's still different, not like when he was suddenly gone after the funeral or the times when left her in the brothel or at the wedding because this time he stayed long enough to really show what was going on in his mind and rhaenyra really hit his weak spot with questioning his loyalty and making clear that she is not trusting him fully even so I think that deep down she knows that he would never try to take her crown. She knows him like no one else does and she was clearly struggling with her memories of him leaving, of him not letting close enough to get behind the wall that he builds around him. This was not him leaving her and just going as far away as he can. He was leaving full of anger and grief and being hurt by her words but he straight up goes and gets his armor and doing everything he can to strengthen her claim. He is hurt and not able to verbally express all that his boiling inside him but he goes into action, fighting for his wife and family and in a way trying to show her with his actions what he right now can't show with his words: that he is worthy of her trust and that he would burn down the world for her. He is not abandoning her he is still there even if he is not right at her side and I would bet her words and her face are haunting him every minute of the day. Their fights were never about the love they have for each other. It was never a real question. It was always there.

This was a fight between two people who are deeply struggling to deal with the grief and the feeling of betrayal and daemon pushed this even more with the whole blood and cheese Desaster because he was so driven by the idea that if he does something quickly that maybe things would change and that he could do something to take some of rhaenyras pain. This fight was not a break up or cut to their bond. They were communicating and daemons does not do that often and you could still feel the love between them. Yes daemon was aggressive but still there was something soft in it when he touched her face and in the way the looked at each other. Daemon was desperately need to feel rhaenyra because he felt like she was slipping through his fingers and it seemed like he was fighting so hard with himself no to just kiss her or scream "Yes I know I fucked up but why don't you see how much i love you?"

Matt and emmas acting was absolutely phenomenal. And this is still daemon and rhaenyra and they were both in a way so vounerable and open and I would be more alarmed if they didn't had that fight because this showed they are still so connected with each other.

[kurokawaia]

❛ MY LITTLE ASSASSIN ❜

Illumi Zoldyck X Fem!Reader

WC; 1.3k+ | !MDNI! | TW/CW; slightly suggestive x fem! reader, death + probably more

⋆·˚ ༘ * 𝑅𝐸𝒬𝒰𝐸𝒮𝒯 :: (filled request) I have a request! Would you write about illumi x reader, they've been dating for some months, and reader already knew what she was getting into when she decided to date a Zoldyck. So he trains her to become an assassin, and my request would be a scenario about that. Fluffy feelings in illumi's mind when she sees her successfully make her first kill, turning back to beam at him, and internally he melts looking at her smile bc he's so in love and so proud of her - ANON

m.list | hxh m.list

You knew better than to get involved with Illumi in the first place. The Zoldyck family line was a long history of killers and was supposed to continue that lineage. Apparently, that hidden surprise was the one thing that hadn't stirred you away from him.

It was very clear when Illumi broke down on an impulse and offered to train you in the art of assassination. He hadn't expected how your eyes had brightened at the mention of it. You beamed and rambled on about how you wanted to be an assassin with him, be by his side as his equal.

He felt dumbfounded, even speechless. He could love you all the same if you wouldn't have wanted to be an assassin. Illumi still was getting used to the feeling called 'love', and in this way, the swelling ache in his heart for you grew—that euphoric swirling intensifies.

"Are you sure about this?" Illumi once asked, his eyes bore into the darkness of yours with intensity, almost a little too much, thudding in your chest, his voice so calm.

He was so scared inside that you would leave once you experienced this.

"Yes, Illlumi," you said, trying to keep the flutter of nerves in your stomach out of your voice, "I wish I can be for you everything, to understand your world and to be a person you can rely upon."

There was a moment when you thought his head inclined and his eyes rested on you before he continued on, he was approving your choice.

Training with Illumi was very... interesting. He was meticulous and literally drove one to the very extreme. Every day seemed to be a test. Oh, it was grueling, but you were determined to prove it, to prove to him that you were worth it, worthy to stand by his side.

"Again," he'd say in his deadpan tone, as he corrected your stance or showed you a technique.

His hands were hard when he set you, but never hurt you—actually, he wouldn't know what to do with himself if you hurt. Now his touch lingered longer than needed, more than likely accidental, though his fingers trailed over your skin as they did so, making it shiver.

One evening, after a long tiring training session for nearly the entire day, you were in the dimly lit training room. You were deeply engrossed in an exercise in offensive and defensive contact.

"You need to be able to predict their actions," he lectured, though his voice was far too smooth, for the turn given to your wrist, pulling and twisting it behind your back nonetheless, forcing you so close against his chest. "Feel their intentions before they act."

His breath was warm on your ear, his hold firm but not painful. Your heart raced. You tried very hard to focus on his words, but it was just a little difficult when his entire body was pressing up against yours.

"Illumi," you breathed, the words barely audible over your raspy breathing. "I understand."

He let go of you abruptly and took one big step back. That look in his eyes was indecipherable, but the tension between them—you felt it—to have him all over you; you forced it down.

"That's good," he said, softening his voice slightly. "Now prove it."

He nodded; you regrouped again, much more on point this time.

You had taken him by surprise, turned in one fast move, so all his momentum took him over the outstretched hip and onto the mat. You landed on top of him to the mat and again pinned him to the ground with that proud smile.

"I had you," you panted, just inches from his face.

For a moment, there was silence, only the raw beating of your hearts. And then, to your surprise, Illumi's lips curved into a small, rare smile.

"Good," he murmured as his eyes softened, wandering up to your face. "Growing stronger."

His words just made you feel such an unbelievable surge of happiness, and the warmth of his praise washed over you. You had no other option but to bend down a bit more and press your lips against his.

As you pulled back, you caught a flicker of something in his eyes, rare glimpses of emotions he keeps locked away.

"I love you, Illumi," you whispered.

He lifted his hand, cupping your cheek in his hand, his thumb brushing against your skin on it.

"And I love you," he whispered.

This particular target was relatively low-tier among the informants' line, meaning their disappearance would not be overly questioned. However, it was needed for practice in your line of training.

You and Illumi had been tailing the mark for days, and you'd witnessed his movements, manipulated his habits. Now, he was alone in an alleyway. You felt human with fear and nervousness. The knife in your hand felt heavy in weight, and you were almost frightened by what you were going to do.

"You can do this," Illumi whispered so calmly into your ear, his hand briefly resting on your shoulder. "Remember everything I've taught you. Trust yourself."

You nodded, taking in a deep breath to steady your racing heart. You moved silently, just as Illumi had showed you, your footsteps soundless on the concrete. The target was oblivious, humming softly to himself as he rummaged through the trash.

It went in with such practiced precision that it was easy. This was almost as if the blade itself knew where to go from among all the many lessons given by Illumi. It was a surprise to the target, though, and his body tensed for only a moment before going totally limp. You held your breath yet again, awaiting some kind of resistance. The deed was done.

"I did it," you say; your voice is a weak tremor of relief. "Illumi, I did it!" Damn, you were almost beaming at him, your smile radiating.

Illumi's heart melted. Never in all his deepest thoughts had he ever expected to feel this way—to be taken so much by the very presence of a person.

"Yes," he whispered, hardly audibly. "You did it. I'm so proud."

He stepped closer, using his hands to lift up and cup your face.

"You've become everything I could have hoped for you… and more. You're incredible," he murmured, thumb light against your cheek.

His emotions were laid so bare that they left you breathless. You leaned toward him.

"I couldn't do it without you," you choked out. "Thank you, Illumi. For everything."

He bent his head to press a soft lingering kiss on your forehead. "We're in this together," he said quietly. "Always."

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.

m.list | hxh m.list

[xan-izme]

"Protecter" Metkayina fam x daughter reader

Summary: The eldest daughter of Ronal is very protective, so when the Sully's arrived, trust that her dislike for them were bigger than both her mothers and little brother.

TW: Mention of death, slight family issues

Being Ronal and Tonawari's eldest daughter, you were held responsible for a lot of things. Responsible for your actions, responsible for your lessons and how to keep balance with all of them, because you have a LOT.

But most of all, you felt deeply responsible for the safety of your clan, your family. Before Tsireya and Aonung were born, you were reckless, always doing whatever, whenever you wanted. But your reckless behavior had meaning to it, all those extreme tricks you did with your Skimwing and Ilu were not just to show off. It was to prepare, to gain knowledge of what could work and what could not work in certain situations.

After passing your Iknimaya and finally becoming a warrior, that was around the time Aonung was born. Your father had spoken with you about changing your ways, be safer, was what he was practically saying in his one our lecture.

You didn't argue back, seeing as you were Aonung's eldest sister, you were a warrior, best in their village and in their clan. And you were getting older, no longer a child, you abandoned your reckless ways and made sure to follow the rules, to show Aonung how a true warrior is to act.

When the Sully's arrived, you were not in Awa'atulu. You were beyond the reff, making sure the sky demons were not near the nest the Tulkuns had made. And if the sky demons were near, it was your job and others to alert the Tulkuns and help them move to another loction.

When arriving back home, you demanded to have a meeting with your father and mother.

"Have you both gone mad!?" You were not very happy when you had gotten word of Toruk Makto and his family being here. And seeing them at the beech when you and the other young warriors came back for the season.

It didn't look right for them to be there. And all of this didn't feel right to you either. Yes, you respect Jake Sully for the warrior he was back in the rain forests. But now, the sky demons have come back, and knowing his story and why he had come here, you just hope the Sully's respect your dislike of them being here.

"The Sully's are only here for sanctuary daughter. Jake Sully-"

"Jake Sully brings war father, war brings death . . . death brings hate and hate causes more death!" You had cut your father off as you burst out in anger. Ronal stayed silent, her eyes closed as she slowly rubbed her baby bump when you had mentioned death and war.

The Marui was silent for a moment. Tonawari sighed, nodding his head. Your father signaled you to come closer, you did as told and kneeled down with him.

"I understand your worries and doubts, but my daughter--" Tonawari held your hand in his "--They are a family in need. We cannot simply turn them away. If our family were in their situation-"

"We are not like them." You were quick to cut Tonawari off. Your nose scrunched up in distaste.

"Yes, but if. If were seeking Uturu, they would have done the same and welcomed us in." Your father truly did want you to be at ease and just welcome the Sully family in and help them adapt.

"You don't know that. . . we don't know this family."

"No, my daughter, you don't know this family. You have been gone for these past sessions, so you are to help your siblings teach the Sully children our ways."

You looked at your father as if he really has gone crazy, you glanced to your mother. The two of you stared into each other's eyes. By the looks of it, your mother was practically telling you to give in, no use of arguing against it.

You gave out a deep, depressing sigh and agreed. Leaving the Marui.

Ronal and Tonawari watched as you left. "She has good reasons to act this way." Ronal spoke. Tonawari sighed and closed his eyes. He understands your protectiveness, the sky demons have hurt you before, and it is only reasonable for you to not want the hurt the sky demons inflected on you, to happen again.

The first time the Sully family heard of you, you were this great warrior that went beyond great lengths for the safety of her people, making new arrangements, making sure the other Metkyina spirit brothers and sisters were safe from the sky demons.

You looked a lot like Tonawari, but you acted a lot like Ronal.

You were a little rough when it came to teaching the Sully's. You didn't like talking to them much, only interfering if someone strayed too far or if you saw that it was time to take a break so the Sully kids can catch their breath.

"Sister?" Tsireya spoke as she entered your Marui. You glanced at her and gave her a small nod, which she returned one of her own.

"Stop moving, Tsyava." You mumbled as you tightened the wrappings on the Na'vi man. "Ow! . . .Tsireya, can you please tell your sister to be gentle with me?" Tsyava begged.

Tsireya giggled "She is your mate Tsyava, this is a problem between the both of you."

You chuckled as you gave your little sister a smirk. Your mate sighed, knowing that this was useless.

"What did you come for, little sister?" You spoke as you finished up.

"Well . . . sister, something has happened with Lo'ak." Tsireya watched as you cleaned up the martials you used. Your mate sat himself up and started to do his own chores around the marui.

"Lo'ak? that Sully boy, right? what about him, did Anoung cause trouble again.?'' Your nose scrunched up as your voice became a little harsher.

"No, no, no! . . . Sister, Lo'ak has interacted with Payakan."

The room went stiff. Tsyava glanced at you and continued with his chores. You clenched your jaw, not looking up at Tsireya as you continued to clean.

"Sister, Payakan saved him! confided in Lo'ak and-and if things continue-"

"Payakan is a murder. By the Tulkun law, and our law." You stood up and put the materials away. Tsireya's ears pinned back. She stood in place, fidgeting with her fingers.

Tsireya knows how you are. Your loyal and firm to the rules of the people. If you didn't decide to step down for the role as chief, you would have been close to be the first female chief in the clan, but you fell for Tsyava, and the man doesn't like to be the center of attention 24/7.

A meeting was called. When you arrived, that is when you found out about the problem.

"You allowed him to bond with the outcast!?" Ronal was distressed, and very angered at her children, you stood off to the side as you watched your siblings and the Sully boy get scolded.

Tonawari explained the history of the Tulkun. You have heard the story multiple times. It is a story that you will always keep in mind, the story represents your morals and reasons for safety.

"I'm sorry sir. . . but your wrong."

"Lo'ak!" Lo'aks mother hissed at him for being disrespectful to the chief. "I know what I know."

This made you scoff.

"You know nothing boy." You finally spoke. The tension in the air was too much. Tsireya thought she was going to cry if you didn't speak any longer. Your silence was scarcer than your burst of anger.

"I know the story of Payakan . . . I was there." Your hard expression softens when you focused on the Sully boy. "I lost many friends . . . I lost my own spirit sister."

You shifted yourself a little closer to Lo'ak and put your hand on his shoulder. "I understand that the rules seem unjust. But the rules keep us safe. Keeps your family safe." You stood up, ready to leave this suffocating meeting.

"So please, do your family and our clan a favor and don't be another young soul we have to return to Eywa." Your voice became bitter, you then looked at both Tsireya and Aonung, but mainly on Tsireya.

You gave her a look and shook your head in disappointment before leaving.

A lot of people don't blame you for the many lives that were lost that day. Saying that you were just a child, but so was Payakan! He was a child that had his mother taken from him.

You know if your mother was taken from you in such a way, you would do the same thing. When you lost that first battle you ever had, you lost a lot.

Lives had to be lost to see that the rules are important and are there for a reason. You don't want anyone to suffer the same as you did. No matter what tribe they came from, losing a sister like that was the worst feeling.

So, you follow the rules, make more rules if needed. As long as everyone is safe, alive. Thats all that matters. Because you're the eldest daughter of Ronal and Tonawari. You were meant to protect, and that is just what you'll do.

[xo-hugs-n-kisses-ox]

Rumination

Ruminate

(v.) To think about something deeply

After Edward left her, Bella Swan fell apart. Desperate to try and save his eldest daughter, Charlie brings his youngest daughter to Forks to see if she can bring her sister out of her depression.

Now, y/n must try to help her sister find her way back to the light while also trying to navigate her Junior year of high school in the odd town of Forks.

---

Chapter Ten: Reconciliation

Now Playing: Atlantis by Seafret

Warning: mentions of alcohol, mentions of death, mentions of violence while drunk, mentions of messy divorce, mentions of gambling, mentions of severe depression, mentions of fighting, lmk if I missed anything please! Also, there’s nothing super explicit, just my interpretation of Paul’s backstory as he explains to reader

I was lounging on the couch watching crappy movies today. Paul and Seth had joined me as the others were either on patrol or helping Emily shop. I was laying on the couch, my head propped against the arm. Paul had lifted my feet when he walked over after switching patrols with Jared, and sat down before putting my legs back over his lap. Seth was sprawled out on the floor, his hair neatly pulled back from when I did his hair earlier.

After a while, Emily came back with the boys and her groceries and we started to put them away.

Midway through, Jacob bounded in with my sister in tow.

“Look at that,” Paul crooned, “Bella’s come back home! You get sick of the leeches yet, or did they get sick of you?”

I smacked him hard in the ribs as I pushed past him, standing with my arms crossed in front of my sister. She looked down at her shoes, and I waited in icy silence.

“Why don’t you come help us put away the rest of the groceries, Jacob?” Sam asked pointedly, “Give the Swan sisters some time to… catch up.”

He hastily followed direction, almost tripping over to the kitchen. I didn’t watch him go.

“Edward told me about Victoria and the treaty,” she blurted out, “Jacob said the same thing.”

I watched her in silence.

“Do you, um, know what they’re going to do about it?” She asked, glancing up to look me in the eyes.

“Paul told me.” I responded shortly, watching her expression. Unable to resist, I asked, “Did Edward tell you?”

She paused, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” I said, waving her off, “Just that he seems so reluctant to tell you anything until it’s nearly too late. Or until he gets a nudge from someone else.”

“Jacob—” she started, cut off by a sharp laugh.

“Jake wasn’t the one to talk Edward into telling the truth,” Paul said, his voice filled with mocking pity. His arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the doorway to the kitchen. I watched my sister put it together, turning to me looking almost hurt.

“Why did you not tell me?” She asked, and I scoffed.

“Edward knew before I did, and yet he only told you when I threatened to do exactly that, Bella.” I responded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “He put you in this mess, and yet he’s still the one acting like you don’t have a right to know.”

She was silent before she switched the topic.

“It’s been a while since I was over here,” she said slowly, “How’s everyone doing?”

“Good.” I said flatly, “That’s the answer you’re looking for, right? Anything else would make you feel guilty because you wouldn’t pull your head out of Edward’s ass long enough to think about it.”

She glared at me for a moment, her hands clenched at her side. She took a deep breath, angrily telling me, “So, what, Y/n? Huh? You want me away from Edward, but you don’t want me here? Which is it, because you cant have both!”

“It doesn’t really matter what I want, does it?” I bite back, aware that everyone in the kitchen was listening closely. “You didn’t ask me when you decided to have a vote on what happens to your soul, did you?”

She opens her mouth to respond, but I barrel on, “You didn’t ask me how I felt when you started bringing that sparkly piece of shit—”

“Don’t talk about him like that!” She interrupted, and I just laughed.

“Oh course that’s what you care about!” I mocked, still laughing. I felt hollow, betrayed. All my simmering emotions from the last few months were coming to the surface, bubbling over finally.

“You’re only here because Edward’s on a hunting trip, Bella.” I spat, watching her expression shift to surprise, then guilt.

“Stay or go, Bella, I don’t care.” I sighed, “But make up your mind. None of us want to be strung along as a backup family for when your feelings get hurt by Edward and his coven of blood suckers.”

I turned, about to walk past Paul when he held his arm up, spinning me around to his chest and pushing me to the door.

“We’re gonna go to the beach.” He said, guiding me firmly to the door. I gave him an annoyed look, but he just pinched my side and kept me moving. When I tried to dig my heels in, he picked me up and carried me like it was nothing.

I suppose my weight was nothing to him, since he could pick up any of the others in their wolf forms. According to Quil, he was strong as a a regular person, and that strength was only amplified after the transformation.

He put me in my truck, pulling my keys from my purse and staring it up.

“Why are we going to the beach?” I asked him tonelessly, sort of grateful that he had made the decision. I had grown protective of everyone in the house, they were just as much my family as the people related to me through blood were. Bella choosing Edward and his family over not only me, but them as well after everything they did to help her when Edward left her for dead agitated me.

“I have a short temper,” he said, “I know when someone’s gonna blow. And you, Y/n Swan, needed to be out of there before you did.”

He glanced at me from the corner of his eyes, the side of his lip curling into a smirk, “And I don’t think you’re the type to take hostages.”

I huffed out a small laugh, leaning back in my seat to draw my knees up to my chest.

We got to the beach and sat in the can of the truck, watching the gulls. I was quiet; I didn’t feel like arguing with him and I was slightly afraid that that’s what would happen if I opened my mouth.

“I’m not good with emotions.” He said abruptly, staring at the water, “I don’t know how to express them, other than through anger.”

I was quiet as he took a breath to continue, “I— It’s stupid to say, but Sam’s the only man I’ve ever looked up to as a father, even if he’s only a few years older than I am. I didn’t have an outstanding father like Jacob, or Embry, or Seth and Leah. He was always physically there, unlike Quil’s dad, but he was never mentally with me.”

I turned my head to look at him, resting it on my arms where they sat on my knees.

He continued, “My parents divorced when I was eight. It was messy. My mom took off for the other side of the country as soon as she could, and my dad moved in with my grandma here.”

I watched the side of his face, observing every minuscule expression he made. I watched the way his eyelashes brushed his cheeks when he closed his eyes to take a deep breath, watched the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed.

“My dad was depressed. Mom was tired of carrying him around, so she left after falling in love with a coworker. He got so bad after she left us that he stopped going to work. He turned to drinking and gambling.” His voice was steady, but his hands were tensing and un-tensing as he spoke, messing with the hem of his shirt.

He continued, “He wasn’t a bad drunk, not really. He never hit me or Granny, just yelled a lot. He would break things sometimes, throw them around.”

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the seat. The AC made his hair flutter.

“He wasn’t the worst,” he said, “He wasn’t the best. I had to look up to older kids for what to do, and they were always fighting, so that’s what I did. Got into my first fight in sixth grade, Granny nearly beat my ass she was so mad. Made me wash dishes for a month.”

Again, he swallowed thickly. I watched the motion of it, my eyes trailing back to his. At this angle, they were almost jet black. The clouds moved, and they turned the color of coffee, shining and rich.

“Dad was always one extreme or the other,” he continued, “He was either a zombie, like Bella was, or he was drunk out of his mind yelling. He only got worse after Granny died.”

He was quiet for a long moment before adding, “She passed when I was fourteen. I had to get a job to try and pay the bills since Dad never worked. Granny owned her house and left it to us, but that was the extent of our luck. Sometimes we were without hot water or electricity. The school gave me lunches, and I scrounged up dinner from the place I worked at.”

“I changed when I was sixteen, two years ago, now.” He glanced at me, quickly looking away. “Sam and Jared are probably the only reasons I’m still here. Alive or in Forks, I can’t tell.”

He took another breath, “Emily and Sam kept telling me to just talk to you. I felt like every time I tried, I would end up saying something stupid and pissing you off more. Emily says I self sabotage. Sam says I’m emotionally constipated. I’m sure both are true.”

He trailed off, and I took this as a chance to speak.

I leaned over, putting my head on his shoulder.

“I know.” I said simply, watching the gulls play as I thought about what Emily had told me all those months ago. “I didn’t at first, but I do now. I know.”

He swallowed, and I felt him take a deep breath in. Slowly, he leaned his head against mine, and we sat in silence and watched the sun set over the waves.

I had the feeling that he still wasn’t telling me everything, but this was more than enough for now. I was content with this step into healing.

———

Ok guys another short-ish chapter and more info about Paul! I had googled his family life and didn’t really find much, but what I ended up going with was a theory I had seen. I think I’m going to have him go more in depth about it and probably also have reader lore drop about Charlie and Renee’s tumultuous relationship, too, and her worries for Bella bc of it (maybe that’ll lead to a convo w Edward, too)

Anyway!! Hope yall enjoyed and if yall have any requests lmk!!

Bye-bye!! ☺️

(Also the long weekend is over for me so I’m probs gonna slow down on posting and it’ll be like one post a day type thing and I might write them all over the weekend and schedule them to come out each day so I don’t forget but idk yet)

[anacdoce]

I Wish Chapter 6 - Bound by blood

Pairing: Astarion x you (f!reader, implied sorcerer)

Rating: T

Word count: 5.4k

Warnings: angst; hurt/comfort; some fluff

Summary: "After some time, Gale approaches slowly, his feet dragging on the floor. He kneels at Astarion’s side, lowering his head with his eyes closed, grieving. He lies his hand on yours, gently holding it, his touch reverent.

They remain like that for a while, side by side, mourning the loss of someone they both deeply cared for. That's when Gale senses something. Your ring is emanating some kind of vibration. He opens his eyes and he grabs your ring, on your finger, to confirm it. “Her ring is vibrating… How strange...”"

a/n: Here it is! The final chapter of this series! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

@bloodlessdarling thank you! Your screenshots are perfect and I hope to use them again in the future <3 thank you, thank you, thank you!!

(some more notes at the end of the chapter)

Read on ao3

Previous chapter

Astarion holds you close, his body trembling with the force of his sobs. His grip is desperate, as if he fears letting you go will make this moment real. He rocks back and forth with you, crying and screaming, calling for you, calling your name.

Only once had he been like this, but at that time you were by his side, ready to give him your hand if he needed it. 

Not anymore.

He’s broken, shattered. No words can describe his feelings at this moment. His whole world has crumbled. 

His savior, his friend, his love.

All is lost. 

Forever. 

No more will he hear you laughing, that precious sound he loves so much. No more will he feel your soft touch on his skin. 

Nothing, no more.

I secretly fantasized you would succeed and survive this. That we would celebrate together, you preparing my first meal after so many years without being able to taste anything but blood. You, sharing with me your favorite meal ever, while we watched the sunset…  Now I will have to do it alone. I will have to rediscover how to live a mortal life again, without you, my darling, by my side. You were everything, and now I have nothing, again. 

“I don’t know how to do this without you, my love…” He mutters in your ear, crying in despair.

Meanwhile, Gale waits. He longs to be near you one last time, but his suffering is nothing compared to what Astarion is going through, so he waits, giving Astarion some space alone with your fallen body. He waits, crying in silence and feeling the guilt consuming him. It was him who brought the ruin for you two. How could he? This is all his fault. Astarion would never forgive him, neither should he. Hells, he would never forgive himself.

After some time, Gale approaches slowly, his feet dragging on the floor. He kneels at Astarion’s side, lowering his head with his eyes closed, grieving. He lies his hand on yours, gently holding it, his touch reverent.

They remain like that for a while, side by side, mourning the loss of someone they both deeply cared for. That's when Gale senses something. Your ring is emanating some kind of vibration. He opens his eyes and he grabs your ring, on your finger, to confirm it. “Her ring is vibrating… How strange...”

Astarion, lost in his sorrow, has completely forgotten about his ring. But he can still feel it too. “Mine is doing the same.” He manages to say between sobs. 

Gale looks at him intrigued. Then, a thought rushes through his mind, and he holds your wrist, leaning two fingers in the inside of it, making some pressure. Almost instantly he widens his eyes in surprise.

He starts moving frantically, trying to take you from Astarion’s lap, urgently. 

“What are you doing?! Leave her alone!” Astarion shouts, his voice high-pitched.

“Please, humor me, will you? Lay her on the floor, please.” Gale pleads, his hands moving with impatience. 

“No! You should leave! I don’t want you anywhere near me! I don’t need you anymore!”

“Astarion, you will do as I say. Lay her on the floor. It’s a matter of life or death. Afterwards, if you still want it, I’ll leave. I promise.” 

Astarion glares at him with hatred, but if this is the way to get rid of him, so be it. He gives you a tender kiss on your forehead and lays your body on the floor, ever so gently. 

His hands haven’t freed you yet when Gale leaps to you, leaning his head against your chest. “All right, that’s enough… I don’t even know why I listen to you.” Astarion tries to shove Gale away from you, but he points him a finger to make him wait.

“Shhh! Shut your mouth for a second! Let me listen.” He instructs, closing his eyes to concentrate on what he may possibly be doing.

Astarion forces his lips to stay shut, but he’s growing impatient. Gale has no right to take you from him. 

Suddenly, Gale starts laughing, his ear still glued on your chest.

“Gale… I will kill you with my bare hands if you don’t leave her alone right now! Why are you laughing? There is nothing here to laugh at, you madman!” Now Astarion is angry and he wants to throw his hands so badly in Gale’s neck.

“But there is! Her heart, Astarion… It’s beating! She’s alive!” He shouts, still laughing.

Astarion is speechless for a moment. His mouth hangs open, and a faint glimpse of hope appears in his eyes. “But… but how? I can’t hear it…”

Gale straightens up and gives Astarion an understanding smile. “Astarion, you are not a vampire anymore. You can’t hear it unless you lean your ear into her chest.” And he points his hand to you, inviting him to do just that.

After hesitating for a bit, Astarion lowers his head to your chest and listens. And then he hears it, that soft rhythm he’s so used to. The perfect music that so many times accompanied him in his rest. “She’s not dead…” He says still in shock.

“She is not.” Gale confirms it.

“She lives…” Astarion lifts himself from over you and stays at your side, staring at you in amazement. 

“She does. And I think I know what is keeping her alive.”   

“You know?!” 

Gale holds your hand once again, directing Astarion’s attention to your ring. “Her ring. Your ring. I can feel some kind of magic around it. Around her.”

Astarion frowns, he looks puzzled. How is it possible? Yes, he knows that rings can have magical powers. He has some. And you too. But nothing like this. Nothing so powerful like this. 

Then he remembers. Astarion remembers what the forger said about the blood. It could grant the rings some kind of magic. Could it be? Your blood? His? “May the blood be responsible for it?”

“Yes! That's my theory. Well, of course I’ll have to study this deeper, but I think it's your blood that’s protecting her. Some kind of ward, like…”

But Astarion's mind is already far away. His blood? Protecting you? Is it possible? You are alive because of him? Because you have his blood with you, and he has yours. 

The blood had brought you together. The first moment of intimacy between you. And now, the blood is holding your life, keeping you in this world, keeping you together, again. 

You will always be bound by it. 

You granted him his life back. And he is keeping yours. He saved you.

He leans to you again, caressing your face. Your soft, velvety skin. You didn’t leave him. You're still here. 

Nothing is lost.

“We have to take her out of here.” He says, determined. 

“Yes. She needs healing. I’ll try to keep her stable until we reach Waterdeep. I think I can conjure a portal to my tower, but we need to get out of this fog first. Shadowheart will be waiting for us there. I’ve just sent her a sending spell.”

“Waterdeep it is then.”

Astarion removes his cloak off his shoulders, and gently he lifts your unconscious body, wrapping the cloak around you. Afterwards, he holds you again more firmly in his arms. He positions your head to rest on his chest, and walks out of the ruin, carrying you.

“Don’t you want help to carry her?” Gale asks.

“No. I will carry her to Waterdeep. I would carry her to the end of the world if needed. After all she’s done for me, this is nothing.” 

And they walk through the fog with Waterdeep as their destination.  

—

Your head is dizzy. You can’t think straight. Your body is sore and your left cheek is stinging and itching. As you try to move an acute pain invades your belly and you stop breathing for a moment trying to get a relief from the sensation. When it calms down you make an effort to open your eyes, but everything around you is blurry. Blinking your eyes repeatedly, you perceive that you’re in a room. But not yours, you’re sure of it. You have a sensation of safety, but it’s clear that you don’t know where you are. 

Harder as you try, you can’t remember what happened to you, why are you here, whatever here may be, and why you feel so godsdamn weak!

A familiar weight presses against your thigh. You lean your head slowly to the side and look down to your legs just to find a silver haired man lying there, with his arms crossed beneath his head and his face turned away from you, sitting on a chair next to your bed. Astarion. 

His hair seems more disheveled than usual, and his back is moving, rising and falling, like he’s breathing. The sight of him soothes you, he’s here, and you can ask him what happened.

He looks so peaceful, resting close to you, warmed by a sunbeam on his back, a gift from an open window behind him.

Suddenly, your faint smile turns into a scared grimace and you try to speak, but the words won't come out. The sun Astarion! The sun! Please get out of here! Please! You have to warn him, or he’ll burn. You try to move, but your body doesn't want to obey your will. Only the pain seems to remain.

Panic is rising. You can feel it cruising through your veins. With a big effort you reach your arm, finally touching his hair, his soft curly hair. You move your fingers but Astarion doesn’t seem to notice it.

Desperately you start to whimper, the only sound that seems to escape from your mouth. He shifts his head, turning toward you, but his eyes are still closed. You take a deep breath and concentrate all of the remaining strength in your body to make it obey you. Then, without warning you move your leg where his head is resting, letting it fall to the mattress.

This movement has cost you a great deal of pain and you whimper once more, louder than before. But it was all worth it, because Astarion is rubbing his eyes, you interrupted his trance and you can finally warn him.

He looks at you, worried, and holds your hand, rubbing it with his thumb trying to give you some comfort. Your fingers buried deep in his flesh.

“Darling! You’re awake! Finally!” He smiles at you. A beautiful smile, but a strange one nonetheless. Something is missing…

But you keep restless and you try to speak again, “Ast… arion… Star…” You manage to mutter as you cry looking at him, frustrated.

“What is it, my dear? What do you need?” He leans closer to you.

He seems… strange? Different? But your eyes are still blurry, so you can’t quite understand what it is. And why isn’t he burning already? 

You look to the window, then back at him, moaning with pain. 

And he smiles again, an understanding tender smile. He cups your face with his hand, his warm hand in your skin. “Shhh shhh, Darling. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Now, you should rest. Your wounds are still healing. You have a lot to recover. I’ll be here. Waiting for you. I will always be here, my love.” He rests his forehead on yours while he hushes you a little longer. His hand, still holding yours.

Confused. 

You are so confused. Your head is a mess. You try to argue with him but there is no more strength left. Your mind is drifting away, your eyes are closing. All you can feel is his presence, like a cloud of affection is enveloping you. And you couldn’t feel more safe. So, you give in. You stop fighting. Your body needs it. 

And everything fades away, again.

—

You feel something or someone moving you. Something cold rubbing your flesh, in your belly. Opening your eyes you see Shadowheart, tending your wounds. You can see clearly now, and you can move more freely too. 

“Well, well, look who decided to join us once again?” Shadowheart greets you giving you a warm smile.

“Join you once again? What are you talking about? Ahh!” You wince, reacting to Shadowheart’s healing methods.

“Sorry, but this will hurt a little longer. You almost died, my friend. You drifted between life and death for too long. I’m glad I arrived just in time. If it weren’t for Astarion, you wouldn’t be here now…”

“For Astarion? What happened?”

“Can’t you remember anything? Your crazy adventure?”

You try to focus, reliving the last moments you can remember. Then someone knocks at the door, opening it next, and Gale peeks in. “Do you need my help, Shadowheart?”

“Yes, please. I need to move her. And you’ll be happy to see that our friend is awake.”

Gale steps into the room, rushing to your side, his eyes, anxious. “Oh! So good to see you awake!” He gives you a clumsy hug.

“Ahh! That hurts! Could you?... Sorry…”

“Forgive me! I couldn’t contain myself!” His eyes are now wet with emotion.

And suddenly you remember. You remember Gale telling you about a certain scroll. You remember Astarion avoiding that theme. And you remember spelling that wish, your wish, in that tomb.

Your heart, skipping in your chest.

“Did it work?! Tell me it worked! Where is Astarion?!” You shout, trying to lift from the bed.

“Easy now!” Shadowheart holds your shoulder, preventing your movement.

“All answers in due time. First, Astarion is fine, and he can tell you later if your ridiculous and irresponsible demand worked or not... He’s resting. We managed to make him leave from your side for the first time in three weeks. And you choose to wake precisely when he’s not here. He will be furious.” Gale chuckles at the thought.

“Three weeks? I’ve been out for three weeks?”

“Yes, my friend… you were in a terrible shape. Between life and death, remember?” Shadowheart leans you to the side with Gale’s help, and you hold his forearm to ease your pain.

“You gave us a lot to worry about. Worries enough for a lifetime if I might say.” Gale scolds you. 

“I'm sorry… I really am… I just wanted…” 

“We know. Don't need to be sorry. Now what you need is to recover. We’ll help however we can, the rest is up to you. So, no lifting from this bed until I say so.” Shadowheart interrupts you.

“Please, do as Shadowheart says. Whatever you need, you just have to ask. My tower is yours for as long as you need.” 

“So, we’re at Waterdeep?”

“Indeed we are.” Gale confirms it. “And tell us. How do you feel?” Gale asks.

“Sore. Tired. Weak. And I feel some numbness in the tip of my fingers. It's quite bothersome, really.” 

Gale looks sideways at Shadowheart, who momentarily stops what she's been doing. “And nothing else? Don't you feel like there's something missing?” He asks, carefully.  

“Hells yes something is missing! Astarion, for sure!” You answer impatiently. 

“Yes. No… I mean, do you feel something is missing in you?” 

You frown, puzzled. But as you're about to speak, you focus your attention on your fingers, brushing your thumb over them. Something was robbed from you. Something that was yours from birth. You try to cast light. That simple spell that you had cast hundreds of times before. But you can't. Somehow, you just can't. Your inherent magic is gone.

“How?” You ask, still not believing it.

“That’s what I thought.” Gale sighs. “We think that your wish consumed everything powerful in you. Your innate connection to the weave included. You paid the cost dearly, my friend. I can't tell you if this is permanent. This is all new to me too. But you do well to consider it lost, I'm afraid.”

“Oh…” All of your life you used your magic without even thinking. It was natural. It was yours. And now it’s gone. All for him. And you know you would do it again. All of it. “So… it worked. Didn’t it?”

“It’s time to tell Astarion you’re awake. He will kill me if I don’t warn him. Excuse me for a moment.” Gale leaves you alone with Shadowheart again.

Anxiety courses through you. How is he? Is he angry with you? Will he forgive you? He must have been through a lot of pain too… seeing you like that, tied to a bed, not knowing if you were ever going to wake up again. 

“Let’s see your ear now.” Shadowheart interrupts your thoughts, moving your head to the right side. “He's destroyed, you know?” She says, cleaning your skin near your earlobe.

You breathe deeply, feeling the weight of her words. 

All my fault. 

After a while, she continues, “I never thought I would see him like this… his hair unkempt, wrinkled clothes, not in a mood for sarcastic jokes… There were days he wouldn’t leave your side for nothing, and we wouldn’t hear a word from him. But there were others where it seemed the world was ending, and it was everybody's fault. On those days, no one could touch you but him. He tended to your wounds more times than I would like, but it was that or it was nothing. So, I taught him what to do. And I have to say I was impressed, really. 

What I mean is, back then, at your wedding, I doubted him. But I doubt him no more. He loves you deeply, my friend. His suffering was heartbreaking. And I hope to never see him like that again. I cried for you and for him, at your bedside, next to him, because everyday he asked me the same question, and everyday I didn’t have an answer to give him.”

“What was it?” You ask, your throat tightening. 

“If you would ever wake up again… You see, your wounds were severe, infected with necro magic from the blades of those skeletons. And you lost a lot of blood as well. You drifted for some days before reaching Waterdeep, just with Gale’s simple healing spells to help you. It was something, but it wasn’t enough. When you arrived, I was already waiting, and I did the best I could, but the effects of the necro magic were already deep in you, and the wounds seemed unresponsive to the treatment. Not to mention the spell you casted… it stripped everything from you. There were things I couldn't predict or knew how to deal with. And the only thing we could do was to wait. Because you were fighting, and we had to trust that you would make it. When Astarion ran to me last week, begging to check on you because you had awakened, we knew that we were on the right path.”

“I had already been awake? I don’t remember…” You mutter.

“Yes, it was quite an episode. You were a mess, full of open wounds, and your only concern was telling Astarion that he was exposed to sunlight.” She finishes her work on you and sits at the edge of the bed, at your side. “Since that day, Astarion has been more reassured. He started to eat properly…”

“Wait. So, Astarion was exposed to the sunlight and didn’t burn?” Your eyes widen.

“No, he didn’t.”

“And he eats properly now?” You ask slowly.

“He does. He’s quite fond of mushrooms, it seems. Always asking for them.” She gazes at you smiling, a big tender and compassionate smile. 

You reach for her hand, your eyes pouring tears. “Thank you. For everything.”

“There is nothing to be thankful for. We did nothing that you wouldn’t do for us.”

You hear a loud noise outside, some rushing steps approaching. The door of your room stands open, and Astarion is there, perplexed, looking at you. He freezes for a moment, his hands shaking.

“Well, I think it’s time for me to leave. If you need me, shout my name.” Shadowheart leaves your side, gently pushing Astarion into the room as she passes by him. She closes the door, leaving you alone with him.

“Hello handsome.” You manage to speak. Your heart seems to want to jump out of your chest. He’s there, your beautiful, not-so-pale anymore elf. Your husband. Your love.

He runs to you, leaping onto the bed, holding you in his arms. He brushes his face against your neck, smelling you. Every drop of your scent is his, and he wants to collect what is his. One of his hands supports your back and the other cradles your head, pressing it against him. He holds you like he never did before, and you hold him like you know you will do for the rest of your life. Because he deserves everything you did for him. He deserves to be loved.

Suddenly, he pulls back, leaning you against the bed. Holding your shoulders, he looks at you and his expression changes. Astarion is serious now. “What in the sweet hells were you thinking?!” His voice high-pitched.

“Astarion, I’m sorry. I didn’t want…”

But he doesn’t want to know anymore. He cups your face with his hands, and you see his eyes, his beautiful eyes, looking into yours intensely. Then he gifts you with a trail of clumsy kisses throughout your face. Your heart swells with emotion. He has forgiven you. 

Your face is a mess of tears, yours and his. But he doesn’t seem to care. Astarion is committed to giving you every single kiss that he couldn’t give in the last few weeks. And you are grateful for it. You need it. 

Still cupping your face, Astarion pauses at your lips. He touches them with his tongue, softly, making you shiver. You hold onto his forearms, pressing him to you. And he takes his time, savoring you once again, after so long. When his tongue finally meets yours, nothing else matters. Not the pain in your body, not the magic that you lost. Nothing. Just him matters. 

Astarion rests his nose on yours, his eyes closed. His warm skin against yours. “Please, don’t you ever do anything like this again. Ever.” His voice filled with emotion, trembling.

“I won’t. I promise.” 

You stayed like that for a while, holding each other. After some time you shift to take a proper look at his face. “Let me see you.” His skin, touched by the color of the blood running through his veins, his fangs are missing, and his eyes… oh his eyes are of the most beautiful color you could ever have imagined. He’s different but he’s the same. Your star. “How is it? How does it feel to be reborn again?” 

“Well, if you ignore the fact that you nearly broke my newborn heart…” 

“I know… It was stupid. I never should have gone there alone. But I didn’t want you to stop me. You made it clear you’d never agree with this.”

“It was very stupid, Darling. Very stupid!” He taps his hand on your temple. “But you’re right. I was stupid too. And for that I’m sorry. I’ve learned my lesson. From now on, I will hear you out to the end. And you will hear me too, hey?”

“That’s a deal.”

“But answering your question, it feels… nice. It was strange at first, I was always aware of my breathing, like I had to think how to breathe. The food has been quite a discovery, actually. I didn’t remember the taste of anything, but I remembered the smells, when you were preparing your meals. And some things don’t quite taste like they smell… Hurgh.”

You giggle. It’s quite a sight, imagining him disgusted for certain foods. “But I hear you like mushrooms very much.”

“Oh yes! My favorite so far. But… I haven’t been able to taste almost anything to be honest. My only concern was you, my sweet.”

“It seems I’ve robbed you the opportunity to properly savor my gift to you…” You murmur with sadness.

“Don’t you worry about that. I have a lifetime to savor it. And more importantly, with you by my side, my love. 

“I just wish I could have been…”

“No, no! No more wishes for you, Darling!” He chuckles, landing a finger on your lips.

You laugh, but with it comes the pain from your belly wound. “Ah!”

“You’re still in bad shape. How are you feeling? Can I do something for you?”

“No, I’m fine. I’ll manage. Nothing I can’t overcome when I look at you. When I remember why I did it.”

“Gale said you might have lost your magic, my dear.” He says, anguish in his voice.

You look at the palms of your hands, feeling that stubborn numbness in the tip of your fingers. “Yes, I did.”

“All because of me…” Astarion lowers his head, feeling guilty.

“And I would do it again!” You lift his chin, making him look at you. “Astarion, I was willing to give my life for you. This is nothing. You hear me? Nothing. I have no regrets nor will I ever have.”

“Well, I guess both of us have much to adapt to in our renewed life together.” 

“I guess we do.” Your smile, full with affection. 

Astarion holds your hand, his gaze never leaving yours. 

Suddenly, you remember something you need. Something you want so badly. “Is there any mirror around?”

Astarion smiles at you. He knows what you want. He reaches for a hand mirror standing in the nightstand, besides the bed, and gives it to you. You make an effort to sit on the bed, pulling Astarion closer to you. You lift the mirror in front of you, and like a dream that comes true, he is there, his reflection by your side, leaning his face against yours. “Now you can see how beautiful you are.”

“Darling, I never doubted that.” He smirks.

“Obviously not!” You chuckle. “This is so precious, Love… I can’t believe it…” You say, arranging a strand of his curly hair to the side.

“Believe it, because it's real. And all thanks to you, my dear. Thank you, this was a very precious gift. I won’t forget it.”  He takes the mirror away and looks directly at you, his eyes full of affection. 

He had thanked you before in your life together. But not like this. This has reached deep into your bones, into your soul, and you feel blessed by his words. You have given him the greatest gift. You had that honor. He’s free from his curse and he can live his life however he wants. Your life’s mission is done. Now, you can rest. 

You lean back on the bed and you start crying. Tears dripping at your face uncontrollably. “I would have lived with you in the shadows forever. But you… you deserved so much more. I couldn’t… I just couldn’t… and now it’s done.” You sob, hiding your face with your hands.

Astarion holds your hands, moving them away from your face, and wipes your tears, gently. “I know, Darling. I know.”

You gaze at him tenderly, reaching your hand to his chest. “Can I?”

Astarion holds your hand again and leads it to his heart. He presses it against his skin, and you feel it. You feel that glorious beating inside. That beautiful drum full of life. His heart.

“My love, you can do anything.” He kisses you again and lies beside you, embracing you. And for the first time in weeks you feel at home, and you know he feels the same. 

—

Day by day, your wounds get better. And in no time Shadowheart allows you to step out of bed for the first time. The first days you stayed in Gale’s tower, but soon enough you were able to go outside. Astarion was always by your side, giving you his arm to support you at first, but later because he couldn’t stand to be away from you. 

One day, you decide to go to the docks to watch the sunset together. Passing through the market, you buy some candies to enjoy with Astarion. You are determined to spoil him forever.

You find a secluded place to sit and watch the boats roaming through the waters of Waterdeep while the sun disappears into the horizon. 

Astarion lies on the ground, with his head on your lap, completely addicted to the candies you bought, while you run your hand through his hair.  “I think chocolate is my favorite. Hum… it’s so good!” He licks the melted chocolate from his fingers.

“Next time I’ll buy you a box full of chocolates.”

“I’d like that!” He says between licking and sucking his fingers.

“Astarion?” 

“Yes, Love?”

“What happened after I made my wish?” 

Astarion sets the bag of candies on the floor beside him and leans his face upwards to look at you. “Our rings happened.”

“Our rings?”

“When we arrived in Waterdeep, I gave my ring to Gale for him to study. We suspected that they had some kind of protective magic, and Gale confirmed it. The magic present in your blood made the rings very special. You see, you can feel when my life is in danger. The ring warns you. But more importantly, your blood protects me and mine protects you, my sweet. When you fell on the ground of that ruin, you were supposed to be dead. But the ring warded you, and you survived. So, you are forbidden to take that ring off your finger. Do you understand?” He points you a finger of his own, frowning.

“Your blood saved me?” 

“My blood. Me, Astarion, saved you, Darling. Isn’t it ironic how blood surrounds and binds our lives together, even now that I’m not a vampire anymore?”

“Do you miss it? Being a vampire?” A faint of fear invades you.

“Well, I would be lying if I tell you that I don’t miss to taste your delicious blood, the glorious sensation I felt after drinking it. I will never forget it, my dear. I felt more powerful back then, and surely I will miss that too.”

“Oh…” You break eye contact with him. You shouldn’t have asked.

“Sweetie, look at me.” Astarion sits beside you, holding your chin. “Nothing will erase my past, and I have enough scars to remember it. Some memories are terrible, but others were my solace through the storms we faced. So yes, I will miss some things. But I don’t miss being a vampire. I don’t feel that insatiable hunger anymore. I can see the sun rising without fear of burning. And I can live knowing I won’t have to survive your departure from me, remembering forever how perfect my life was, only for a moment.”

You lean closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder, watching the pink sky painted by the setting sun. “What do you want to do when I can leave Waterdeep?”

“I’m glad you asked because I have some plans for us, Mrs. Ancunin.” 

“You do? Do you have a schedule now?” You tease him.

“Silly girl. I don’t, but I could have, actually. First we’ll head north to visit Neverwinter. I heard it’s the most cosmopolitan and civilized city in all of Faerun. I can’t wait to spread some chaos there. Can you imagine?”

“Astarion!” You hit him playfully in his ribs with your elbow.

“What? I’m no saint, Darling.”

“Alright. And after?”

“After, I want to see the glaciers.”

“Do you, now? I never thought you liked the cold so much.” You giggle.

“Well, I don’t. But Gale showed me some paintings of them, and I’m curious, all right?” He waves his hands in the air as he lowers his voice, just a little.

“Sure, Star. And what else?”

“Then we go to…”

You hear him telling you his plans for the next few months, while the sun sets and the moon takes its place in the sky. Your heart swells at his voice. His confidant voice, telling you his plans.

You hold his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and he leads your hand to his chest. To his beating heart. You don’t see his face, but you know he’s smiling. And you smile too. A smile full of love and tenderness.

He keeps talking, and you listen. 

And you will listen. And you will follow. And you are his. Until the day your heart stops beating.

Fim

a/n: Thank you to everyone who joined me on this journey! I never thought I would be able to write something like this, and although it's not a masterpiece, I'm so proud of it 😭

See you soon! Maybe :)

Thank you so much for reading my story. Likes, reblogs and comments are very welcomed!

Lots of love 🖤