#like they do the openly lusting but being so in denial about being in love SO WELL

[februerik]

listen if you need anymore reason to watch my lady jane, they both do the "staring at the other person's lips while they're fighting" thing

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Jealousy, Jealousy... | Part 3

A/N: don't even have a summary for this. oc is in love with gyu and gyu is in love with another girl but both are virgin losers and gyu is a horndog who would let oc do what she wants to him just as long as he gets to cum.

Word count: 3.3k

Genre: Smut, angst

Warnings: fem!reader, semi-public sex, handjob, orgasm denial, cunnilingus, sub!beomgyu, dom!reader, sub!reader, dom!yeonjun.

A/N: so I have split the chapter into two to get it out faster and to give good time for events to sink in. sorry guys but also not very sorry because i like to torture you lol

"The girl you've been obsessed with for years has invited you to her party but instead of trying to talk to her, you’re hiding in the closet getting jerked off with her right outside. This is why she never gave you the time of day. You’re such a pervert, Beommie." 

"Yes, baby. Whatever you say." Beomgyu breathes heavily, leaning into your touch. He always becomes so pliant once you have his dick in your hand.

"You've got nothing in your brain but sex, huh?" You ask, jerking him off and true to your words, he already looks so dumbed out.

“No.” He answers your rhetorical question, legs buckling when you drag your palm repeatedly over the head of his cock, precum sticking to your skin.  

“Careful, Beommie. Don’t fall.” You laugh, your breath causing goosebumps to erupt along his neck, and he lays his head back to give you more space, silently asking you to kiss his neck, and you do, hearing him let out the prettiest half-moans half-pants. 

“Can I cum?” 

“Hmm.” You pretend to think about it for a few tortuous seconds, letting one of your hands trail under his shirt to play with his nipples. 

“Baby!” He sputters, his nipples are just so sensitive. 

“You can’t. You’ll make a mess and everyone will know what you did. They’ll all know you came all over yourself like a big pervert.” You choose your words specifically to rile him up, feeling his cock twitch in your hand. 

“I don’t care. Just wanna cum.” 

“But she’ll see, baby. She’s going to be disgusted.” 

“I don’t care. I don’t c-care. Just need it.” He’s delirious, too gone to even think about her. Just the way you like him. You know he’s hanging by a thread and any second now he’s actually going to cum, and so regrettably, you let go of him, causing him to yell out. 

“No!” He cries and you immediately cover his mouth with your hand to quiet him. “Hush, Beomgyu! Someone will hear you.” 

“Why?” He cries out when you remove your hand. 

“I told you. I don’t want you to make a mess. You can cum when we get home.” 

It’s a lie, of course. Truthfully, you just wanted to punish him for once again openly salivating over her in front of you. 

“Then let's go home.” 

“Not yet. I wanna get a few drinks first. I’ll get out of the closet first. You wait a bit and come after me. You should probably wait a bit anyway for that to go down.” You grin, glancing at his poor red cock. 

“You’re evil.” 

“I know.” You put his dick back in his pants and zip them up. “Don’t touch yourself.”

You get out of the closet with a huge smile on your face. This evening started horribly with you having to sit beside Beomgyu and watch him tear through Haeun’s clothes with his gaze, openly lusting after her as if he doesn’t care who sees. But once you had enough alcohol in you, you decided to do something about it and whisper in Beomgyu’s ear to follow you to one of the closets. Being the horndog he is, he followed right after, finally interrupting his leering session. 

Okay, maybe getting him to pay attention to you by giving him a handjob at a party wasn’t your proudest moment but you did get him to stop caring about her. Maybe in time you’ll get him to forget about her completely. Maybe he’ll even start looking at you differently, and he’ll realize you’re the one who truly loves him…Oh, who are you kidding? He has been obsessed with her for–

Lost in your thoughts, you smack right into someone, the drinks they were holding spilling all over the both of you. 

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm such a drunk idiot." You immediately go into apologizing, not wanting to antagonize the person further, but when you look up, instead of an angry frown greeting you, you see him with his head cocked to the side and a grin on his face. "That’s okay, doll."

“Yeonjun!” You gasp, slightly relieved knowing the person isn’t going to fight you, but still horrified at the damage you’ve done to his white shirt.  “Your shirt is all ruined!"

"It's alright. It’s your dress I’m worried about."

You look down at your dress which was equally soaked and now clinging to your body uncomfortably. “Ah, shit. Let's go wash off before the stains will set." 

You drunkenly drag him to the nearest bathroom. Once you’re inside, you turn to him. "Take off your shirt."

“Oh, is this finally happening?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you and you roll your eyes. “Off.”

"Bossy. I like it." He takes his shirt off and hands it to you, and you bashfully look away from his half-naked body, taking the shirt and running it under water while he grabs a towel and wets it, washing off his stomach, or more accurately–his abs.

Still, you can’t help but to sneak not so subtle glances at him, drawn to the sight, before blushing and looking away when he catches you.

“Like what you see, doll?” He teases, winking at you. 

“Shut up.” You rub his shirt with some soap to get the last of the stain out. 

“I can guarantee you, he doesn’t look like that.” His voice is suddenly so close to you, and you look up to see him right next to you, cornering you between his body and the sink. 

“Stop it.” You put a hand to his chest, which you immediately come to regret as the skin on skin contact makes your treacherous heart flutter. 

“Why? Why are you so hung up on him? The idiot doesn’t even realize how much you love him. He’s too preoccupied with her.” You try to look away at the painful mention of Haeun but Yeonjun gently turns your face back towards him. “Give me a chance to make you forget him.”

“Yeonjun…” 

“Can I?” He leans forward, his face inches from yours. 

Should you really be doing this? Beomgyu had told you to stay away from Yeonjun specifically. He would be very pissed off if he found out that you let him kiss you… but then again, why? Why can’t you kiss Yeonjun? It’s not like you and Beomgyu are together. You’re free to kiss whoever you want, dammit!

‘To hell with it.’ You think, surging forward to close the distance between you and Yeonjun. 

His lips are the softest lips you’ve ever felt. Granted, you only kissed two other boys before, Beomgyu being one of them, but still. He was so confident with it too, guiding you and coaxing you to open up to him, letting him taste you and you him. It was slow, purposeful–so different from Beomgyu’s kisses. 

No. You need to stop thinking about Beomgyu. That was the whole point. Forget Beomgyu. 

“Get off her.” Beomgyu shouts. 

Beomgyu? 

Yeonjun moves away from you, or more accurately is pushed off you. 

“Beomgyu, what are you doing here?” You gasp, horrified at having been caught by him as if you were cheating on him or something. It didn’t help that his reaction made it seem like you are. 

“I was looking for you. I thought I told you to stay away from him.” He hisses, clearly angry which just pisses you off. Whatever fleeting sense of guilt you felt for kissing Yeonjun quickly dissipates in the face of his inexplicable wrath.  

“You don’t get to tell me what to do.” You snap back. “And if I want to kiss Yeonjun, I will.” 

“He’s my friend!” He shrieks, as if that means something.

“So? That doesn’t mean I can’t like him.” 

Beomgyu reels at that. “You like him?” 

Both boys stare at you expectantly, waiting for your answer, and you stammer under their gaze. “M-maybe I do.” 

Beomgyu’s face hardens and he turns his back on you and walks out the door without another word. 

What? What did you say? 

“Oh no, did I just fuck up?” You fret, moving to run after him, but Yeonjun grabs your hand, stopping you. “No. You stood up for yourself. If he doesn’t want to be with you then he doesn’t get to tell you who you can be with.” 

“You’re right. He’s not my boyfriend.” You try to assert, but quickly lose your confidence. “And now he will never be. He just saw me kissing his friend! That’s like incest!”

Yeonjun bursts out laughing at that. “What? That’s ridiculous. Do you even hear yourself?” 

You want to be mad at him for trivializing how you feel. This is serious! You may have just lost your chance with Beomgyu! This is no laughing matter!

So then why are you laughing like he’s just cracked the funniest joke you’ve ever heard? “Oh my god, you’re right. What am I even thinking? This is stupid.” You huff out between cackles, “I’m so stupid.” 

Yeonjun stops laughing first, gathering you in his arms and waiting for you to calm down. “You’re not stupid. You’re in love.” 

“Yeah.” You confirm, bitterly. 

“And he’s an ungrateful idiot.” 

“Maybe.” You fiddle with your fingers. “But if there is a one percent chance I can be with him, I don’t want to ruin it by having him think I’m fucking his best friend.” 

Yeonjun sighs, stepping back. “Fine, go to him. Explain what happened to him. But for the record, I think you’re making a huge mistake.” 

“I know.” 

______________________________

You scour the party looking for Beomgyu, but you can’t find him anywhere. Did he leave already? Is he that mad? 

You lament your poor choices as you open up another door, stumbling across yet another couple engaged in less than savory activities with the woman spread out on the edge of the bed and the man with his face buried between her legs. 

“Whoops, sorry!” You yelp, knee-jerk reaction to slam the door shut suddenly halted when the man kneeling on the floor turns towards you and you see an all too familiar face. 

Beomgyu?! 

They both stare at you, Haeun with her dress pushed up and Beomgyu with his lips glistening with something you don’t want to think about. He makes eye contact with you before he turns around and presses his face back between her legs. 

That fucking slut. 

You slam the door shut and storm off with another target in mind. When you spot the colorful haired man, you drag him behind you to one of the empty bedrooms you saw earlier. 

"Hey, what’s going on--" You cut Yeonjun off with a kiss which he doesn’t resist much, making use of the unexpected opportunity. But when you separate, he takes the chance to ask, "What happened to Beomgyu?"

"Fuck him. I want you.” You kiss him again, suddenly nervous about what you’re going to ask now that you’re right in front of him. Still, you push through, murmuring against his lips, eyes sealed shut, "Want you to eat me out."

Unfortunately, Yeonjun doesn’t immediately give in as you had been praying he would, and he pulls back to ask you, "Are you sure?"

"Yes." You answer, still refusing to open your eyes. But the asshole won’t accept that. 

“Look at me, doll.” He demands, cupping your face in his hands. You take a deep breath before opening them, looking him dead in the eyes. “I want it.” 

"It just seems–"

"Do it, Yeonjun!" You snap then immediately regret it, feeling mortified at the possible rejection. God, you didn’t think this through, did you? Just because he wanted to kiss you, doesn’t mean he wants to eat you out in the middle of a party. He’s not Beomgyu. "Unless you don't want to."

Yeonjun lifts you up and drops you on the bed, the breath whooshing out of you as you make impact with the mattress. You don’t even get the chance to ask him what the hell he’s doing before he spreads your legs and gets between them. "It's my pleasure, doll."

He starts by licking over your panties, and you’re so glad he is easing you through it because even that makes you tingle. His tongue moves up and down your slit in slow, deliberate strokes, turning you on until you’re not sure if your panties are soaked because of your arousal or his saliva. And once it’s completely see-through, he hooks his finger under it, pulling it to the side. 

The first direct touch of his hot tongue against your sensitive pussy has you jolting, your hands shooting out to grab at the sheets. But Yeonjun pulls away for a second, grabbing your hands and putting them on his head.

"You can hold onto my hair, doll." He grins, looking devastatingly handsome, “Pull on it when I do something you like.” 

That’s a dangerous ask because you’re pulling his hair as soon as he puts his mouth on you again. Not that he minds, you can see his smirk as he stares up at you, tongue teasingly swirling around your swollen clit. 

“Don’t tease.” You whimper, holding onto his hair tightly. 

“Why not? You’ve teased me long enough, pretty girl.” He purrs, pressing soft kisses against your pussy while his thumb rubs maddeningly around your entrance. 

“Yeonjun…” You whine, taking your hands away and trying to close your legs, but he pins your legs back down before returning your hands to his hair. “Keep your hands on me. I like it.” 

“Pull my hair harder. I like it when you’re rough with me."

Beomgyu’s words ricochet inside your skull, tearing up your brain. No. Don’t think about him. He’s in another room with another woman, probably fucking her by now. Focus on the man who actually wants you. 

“Did I lose you?” Yeonjun’s voice cuts through your tortured monologue. 

You look at him, embarrassed at having been caught. 

“Then let me make you forget about him.” He vows, wrapping his lips around your clit and sucking on it, making your brain short-circuit. 

“That’s it, doll. Just focus on me.” He flicks his tongue from side to side, causing electricity to shoot up to your belly. 

“Oh god, Yeonjun!” You gasp, pulling at his hair, which just makes him do it with more fervor, alternating between rapid flicks and long languid licks up the entire length of your pussy. You’d be embarrassed by how quickly he builds up your high, if he didn’t look like he was enjoying it so much, moaning into your pussy and staring up at you as if he wants to eat you whole. 

“Feels good?” He smirks, fingers finally breaching your empty pussy. 

“Yes, yes!” You groan, head thrown back as he pumps his fingers inside you, his full lips latching onto your clit once more. 

The feeling of his fingers filling you up, fucking you open, and the unrelenting attack on your clit from his mouth has you teetering on the edge in no time. But then an unwelcome image pops into your brain–Beomgyu with his messy hair and his lips swollen and glistening with arousal–and suddenly it wasn’t Yeonjun between your legs and it wasn’t Haeun Beomgyu was eating out…

No, it was you on the bed and Beomgyu between your legs, looking up at you with his big, brown eyes that seemed to beg you to cum, and you do. You have to bite down on your tongue to stop from screaming his name as you shudder and whine, thighs clamping around Yeonjun’s head. 

Yeonjun. 

You jerk up, orgasm still not quite passed, and blink the haziness away. God, you’re disgusting. 

But Yeonjun has no idea what is going through your head. He has a big smile on his face, proud of himself for making you lose it so easily. 

“You liked that, doll?” He climbs up your body to kiss you, and you hesitantly reciprocate, not wanting him to sense that anything is wrong. But when he starts getting handsy again and you feel his hard cock pressing against you, you quickly push him away. 

"Wait. I can't–I'm sorry.” You stammer nervously. 

“Oh. Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I just…” Whatever lie you were thinking of dies on your tongue when you make eye contact with him. You can’t lie to him. “I just need to go home."

“Of course.” He backs away, but you can see the disappointment on his face. “Is it… because of Beomgyu?” 

You don’t reply, but that is all the answer he needed.

___________________________________

Still, he is gentleman enough to take you home. 

“You didn’t have to do this, you know.” You tell him for the tenth time, feeling guilty after basically rejecting him. 

“I know. I wanted to.” He reassures you once again, no hint of annoyance in his voice. “I know Beomgyu usually takes you home, but since he’s… occupied, I didn’t want you to walk home alone.”

“Right.” You mumble, staring at the ground as that painful image of Beomgyu between Haeun’s legs flashes in your mind. “Well, thank you… and I’m sorry. I just don’t think I’m ready yet.” 

“Hey,” He walks towards you, propping your chin up with his finger. “You don’t have to apologize. You don’t owe me anything.” 

“I know. I just wish things were different. I wish I wasn’t so pathetically in love with him that it feels wrong to even be with someone else. Which is stupid, I know. Beomgyu and I aren’t–” Your phone rings for the 10th time since you left the party, cutting you off, and you glare at the name flashing on the screen. 

“Beomgyu again?” 

“Yes.” You roll your eyes, silencing it. 

“Answer it.”

You stare at him as if he grew a second head, and he rolls his eyes. “He’s probably worried about you. We left without saying a word to him.” 

Damn it. You guess he’s right. You didn’t even think of that. 

"Hello?" You press the phone to your ear but quickly move it away slightly at the immediate shouting coming from it. 

"Where the fuck are you?" 

"Home." You answer unenthusiastically, which just pisses Beomgyu off more. "You went home by yourself?"

"No, Yeonjun took me home." You elaborate nervously, scared of how he’s going to react, and boy, does he not disappoint. "Well this is just fucking great. I've been looking all over for you, freaked out of my mind that something happened to you and you're back home fucking my friend."

His words reignite your anger all over again. “I didn’t think you’d come up from between her legs long enough to notice.” 

“So you’re getting back at me by fucking him?”

“I didn’t–you know what, Beomgyu. I can't deal with this right now. I'm going to bed."

"I’m not done–" You hang up on him, too exhausted to think about what any of this means. 

"He's not happy, huh?"

"Nope." You sigh. What a fucking terrible night. 

"I don't get him. If he's jealous, why doesn't he just ask you out?"

"He's not jealous. He's just–” Just what? Why is he even acting that way? What is he so angry about? Because you’re ‘fucking’ his friend? So what? “I don't know. It's complicated. We've been messing around and I guess he got annoyed when he saw us kissing."

“Well, are you guys dating?” Yeonjun asks and you almost laugh. “No. Nothing like that. Just… just messing around.”

"Then he has no right to be annoyed." He states simply, and he’s right. He doesn’t, and you can’t make sense of why he is so all you manage is to lamely mumble, "Well, he's protective of me."

To which Yeonjun snorts, "You mean possessive."

Is he? Why would he be? Is it because he is not used to you having a boyfriend before? Not that Yeonjun is your boyfriend.   

"My brain hurts. I need to sleep." You groan, pulling at your hair in frustration before your hands fall to your sides with a slap. “I’m sorry, Yeonjun.” 

“Don’t be.” He reassures you, “I’ll be here when that idiot inevitably does something to completely push you away.”

________________________________

A/N: as always I always love to hear feedback even if it's just how much you'd like to punch gyu lmao. currently i don't know how many parts the remaining plot will be divided into so it could be 2 or 3 more similar sized chapters to this.

just for fun, i'll do a poll every chapter to see if people change their minds on who they want oc to end up with. but i've already decided on what to do so the votes are just for fun

Taglist: @wonwooz1@yaorzu-blog@allylikesdabee@rkivezzs@malieno @leviathanlee26 @yomomas-stuff @kurisaiyunobara @girlwholovekpop @zuzuhasablog @viaaasdiary @ho3forkpop @skzvcr

[tossawary]

I'm re-reading PINTWILF and was suddenly wondering: considering how dense Shen Yuan is on SVSSS, how long do you think it will take him to realize Binghe has like, feelings, feelings for him?

I think he'll have to have it spelled out bluntly for him. But not necessarily because he's completely oblivious to the fact that he and Binghe are close and affectionate with each other in a "more than friends" way? I think by the end, even when he's still gently, jokingly encouraging Binghe to flirt with women, he'll have suspicions. Or... maybe... "he'll have hopes" is the better word?

See, one of the things I personally really like about MXTX's works is that while the protagonists are a little (or a lot) romantically oblivious sometimes, they're all capable of being very clever and observant, and I get a really strong vibe that their obliviousness is actually partly denial/disbelief that they would actually be allowed to have this thing (this person) that they come to really, really want. They often can't bring themselves to look at the idea directly. They know but also can't even bring themselves to think about it, because the rejection would hurt them too deeply, and rejection feels inevitable, by the world if not by the person they love, so they might as well blind themselves to the possibility of happiness.

It's a remarkably queer element that I vibe with on a personal level. It's also just one interpretation of things. Which is why, for example in MDZS fics, we get the spectrum of Genuinely Completely Oblivious Wei Wuxian to a Wei Wuxian who is so, so in love with Lan Wangji for so long but can't fully believe LWJ would ever like him back and, more importantly, doesn't want to "ruin" LWJ with everything that he is. (I am personally partial to interpretations which lean more towards the latter. I like obliviousness just fine, I like mixes of both, but the angst of love being known deep-down, but feeling unspeakable, being unthinkable, is delicious to me. The pining is so good.)

Now, Shen Yuan is a very different character to Wei Wuxian, just as SY is a very different character to Airplane. My personal interpretation is that each of the MXTX protagonists perform this "defensive obliviousness" in very different ways, to very different degrees, and for very different reasons. (I mean, for some of them, we're dealing with "loving me back would ruin your life and I love you too much to let you do that" and others are dealing with "if I reveal my love/lust to this person and they're not open to it, they might kill me for it".)

I actually went into SVSSS (SPOILERS) feeling really wary of the teacher-student angle, but my impression of their time together as teacher and student was that Shen Yuan's feelings for Luo Binghe were genuinely platonic. And while I make jokes about Shen Yuan being oblivious to LBH's feelings for him, he had a lot of really good reasons for thinking that Luo Binghe wanted to kill him at first upon their reunion. I think any romantic/sexual feelings only started to develop for SY upon their reunion and only became fully realized even later. My personal interpretation of Shen Yuan is that he's asexual (he reads as sooo ace to me), probably gay but possibly bi-romantic, sex-neutral or sex-favorable. (Though I also think that, in SVSSS, even married to Binghe, he still probably personally identifies mostly as "straight with an exception".)

I'm losing the thread of where I'm going with this because I'm desperately trying not to write like five different meta essays here.

In PINTWILF (SPOILERS), Shen Yuan is already in a different situation to SVSSS. Shang Qinghua is SY's mentor-figure and openly queer, openly in a relationship with a demon, and SQH has at least told SY that marrying all those wives in PIDW didn't make LBH happy. I can't remember if SQH ever directly hinted to SY that LBH might be into men, but the other family members aren't exactly 100% discrete or subtle about their teasing. Shen Yuan has a lot more space to get comfortable with his own queerness and LBH's queerness, though he has a lot of internalized homophobia to get through (and misogyny, my goodness, sometimes in SVSSS I really wanted to bop him on the head for his behavior around women even if he's simultaneously mocking the sexist tropes).

But there's still Shen Yuan's self-confidence and self-image to contend against. Even when he's not mentally slotted himself into the role of "teacher" and "betrayer", he's still had the time to mentally slot himself into the role of "older friend" and "confidant". Shen Yuan seems to view himself as a kind of boring person and he likes it that way, so while he would be happy to have Binghe as a partner, he likes him so very much, he can't quite shake the feeling that Binghe could do better and so it's best not to read too much into it. He's honestly happy enough just being friends (or so he tells himself) and doesn't want to "make it weird" unless Binghe takes the first step.

[holypapaya]

Peaches (Konro Sagamiya x Reader NSFW 18+)

Fem! Reader

Konro and his girlfriend run home to escape the rain. When they decide to eat sweet peaches as a snack.

Warnings: age gap, denial, rough sex, oral play, begging 

Skip to ** for sexy time. 2,000+ words. 

________

God, how is she so beautiful? And, how in the hell didn't I notice her before? 

These were the two questions Konro would ask himself repeatedly whenever he took Y/N out on their weekly dates. Unfortunately, the morning was a sweltering and humid day that overwhelmed the Great Tokyo Empire. Konro suggested that they have their date later in the evening to avoid the rain and the burning hot sun. Y/N's clothes hugged her glamorous curves as her skin glistened from a thin veil of sweat. The lantern lights that hugged the walls to local businesses created a soft glow.

Staring at her in awe was not a part of the plan. Well, none of this was a part of any plan, actually. Not even his life plan. They've been dating for a little over a month since Konro first met Y/N. His typical routine trip was to see Seamstress Granny to fix any rips in his uniform. That day he tore his pants while rebuilding Asakusa after the most recent Infernal attack. With his uniform in hand, he walked through the door, the bell ringing as it slid open. Just as he was about to call the elderly woman, he noticed the most beautiful, enchanting woman he’d ever laid eyes on. Konro was so stunned by her beauty that he didn't hear her greet him or ask what he needed to be done. Since then, he’s gotten to know Y/N well over time.

Before running her Granny's store full time, Y/N would visit Asakusa three times a week to help around. That’s why Konro found it unbelievable that he never noticed her before. Honestly, it was probably because of the increase of Infernal activity, but that was no excuse in his mind. Y/N stood slightly taller than most women in the empire and was curvier than other women too. Her full breasts always pulling at her shirt and plump ass tight, giving a slight jiggle as she walked. Despite all of this, Konro still towered over her. Don't misunderstand this, though; he is dating her not for her body but because he earnestly enjoys Y/N's company. Y/N made him feel things he hadn't felt in years or even within his lifetime.

Y/N's thumb gently rubbed the back of his bandaged hand as they held hands while walking down the street. Y/N was smiling greatly as she continued to talk. Konro wasn’t exactly the talkative type, so hearing Y/N talk brought him immense joy. The self-proclaimed hermit has found a friendly, outgoing puppy to love day in and out. Being with Y/N even made Konro feel young again. He's heard that having a significantly younger girlfriend can change a man's energy levels, but Konro didn't expect to feel this young. Especially his sex drive.

Being overwhelmed with work duties almost made him forget what a sex life was. Work. Eat. Sleep. Repeat. This was his routine for many years. However, when he was younger, Konro always managed to find time to "express his sexual desires" is a polite way of saying it. In other words, straight-up fucking. But as the years flew by and seeing Benimaru become captain of the 7th, Konro had more distractions, to say the least. With Y/N, it was different, though. She sparked something deep inside of him. In his many years of life, Konro never had the animalistic urge to make a woman cry, scream and mess them up during sex as much as Y/N.  He almost had the chance too. Almost.

Last week, Y/N and Konro decided to go back to base for some privacy. During that time of day, mostly, everyone would be out making rounds or going out to eat, so it seemed like the perfect time. Right in front of him, Y/N laid bare. Her head bobbing up and down his shaft, her right hand moving in sync with her head, her left hand gently caressing his hip. Konro's deep blue eyes stared at Y/N, hypnotized by her beauty. Carefully, he placed his hand on the back of her head, adding a slight pressure, silently asking her to deep throat him. Which she happily obliged. That's when he heard it -the Infernal alarm. Y/N's eyes grew wide as she met Konro's. She released his now soft dick from her mouth as she watched Konro get up and hurriedly dressed himself.

It's only been a week since they've last had time for each other. Yes, they would greet each other outside or maybe have a small lunch if they had the time. But, they were never truly alone, just two people immersed in a chaotic world. Konro couldn't help but think  about if he would ever get a chance to redeem himself. He could kill a man at this point to see Y/N's lush body naked in front of him again.

Y/N let out a sound of confusion, "Konro, I think it's going to start raining," she looked up at the sky after feeling something damp hit her face.

"Hmmm," he mused, still lost in his train of thought.

That's when he felt it. A sudden shower washed over the both of them. Y/N pulled Konro by his arm, leading him down a side street. 'Let's go back to my place,' she called back behind her. Konro followed her, watching droplets run down her soft skin.

'Please, one more chance,' Konro chanted in his head all the way to her apartment. As they entered the one-bedroom, Y/N handed Konro a fresh towel. Then, she walked over to the refrigerator, asking her boyfriend if he liked peaches.

** "Yeah," he said, watching her pull out the fruit and a knife to cut it. Y/N cut the delicate fruit in half, pitting it, and proceeded to slice it. With every movement, her hair stuck to her neck and shoulders. Konro walked over to Y/N, pushing her damp hair to her shoulder, exposing her neck and collar bone. His calloused fingers massaged between her shoulder and neck. He saw goosebumps wash over her skin and grinned to himself. Leaning forward, Konro kissed Y/N's jaw and noticed a slight coat of pink on her cheeks. Y/N pushed a peach slice towards his lips. As Konro was just about to take a bite, Y/N took it back and put half of it in her mouth. She looked up at the older man with what he thought was a look of innocence and lustful hunger.  Y/N offered the other half of the peach that was sticking out of her mouth. With his large hand, Konro tilted her jaw up and took in the fruit.

On Y/N's bed, Konro propped himself up on his forearms to make sure not to put his total weight on Y/N. She laid beneath him in nothing but her bra and underwear. Konro was already halfway undressed with only his pants remaining. They kissed each other for a long time. While feeling his tongue slowly go in and out of Y/N's mouth, Konro imagined his cock doing the same thing inside of her. Konro continued to grind his hard cock into Y/N’s clad pussy.

Y/N let a long feminine sigh followed by a moan, feeling pressure onto her wet lips. She gently ran her nails down his abdomen, feeling his chiseled abs, before finally reaching his belt. She pulled at the material, hoping to touch his dick directly. Just the thought about touching it again caused her pussy to throb with excitement. Konro released her mouth from his and grunted in her ear,

"Not yet, baby," Konro nibbled on her earlobe, "Just wait a little longer. I'll treat you just as good as you treated me last time".

Konro moved Y/N's bra strap down her shoulder to have access to her collarbone. Then he nibbled and sucked until he left a light mark on her skin. Konro snaked his arm behind her back, unclasping her bra. Removing the material, he threw it onto the floor. Konro grabbed one of Y/N's full tits in his hand, gently but firmly. He flicked her nipple with his tongue, causing Y/N to inhale sharply. Frustratingly slow, Konro then started to suck her nipple, flicking it now and then. Y/N whined in frustration how Konro was still dressed.

He released her nipple, and while undoing his pants with one hand, he still massaged her tit with his other. Konro smiled down at Y/N almost wickedly as he watched her flushed face looked directly at his crotch. He kicked off his pants with one swift movement and found his way to Y/N's underwear, taking it off. Konro pulled down the thin material, excitement further boiling in him, realizing how wet Y/N was. She wasn't just wet but soaked. While kneeling, Konro grabbed her slender ankles, bringing her legs over his shoulder. Y/N's glistening lips in direct view of his face, and of course, his mouth. With a big lap of his tongue, Konro tasted Y/N's pussy greedily. He wasn't just licking her but also sucking on her drenched lips and swollen cit. Slurping and sloshing filled the room.

Y/N stared at Konro hazily, pleasure surging through her distracting her from any thought. She gripped her sheets tightly as her moans echoed. Seeing her boyfriend liked this not only made her feel wanted but happy. Konro has always been a very giving man. He gave up everything for Asakusa and Benimaru. So when the demon Infernal came, Konro didn't have to fight it alone. Instead, he chose to, for a simple but heroic cause. To protect the people he cared for. So seeing him eating her out hungrily and groping her body greedily made Y/N realize that Konro could express what he truly desired. He could tell her what he wanted and how he wanted it openly. Of course, in Konro's mind, he was primarily doing this to pleasure Y/N, but Y/N enjoyed seeing a different side of him.

Taking one last swipe at her clit, Konro lowered her legs, peering at his lover. A deep shudder swept across his body as he saw Y/N's face. Her cheeks flushed pink, lips slightly parted as her eyes stared at him dreamily—her chest lifting with every breath she took. Y/N looked absolutely decadent. However, she wasn't ready yet. Only eating her out wasn't going to be enough to stretch her for the pounding of her lifetime. Again, he grasped her lips with his own, tongue snaking into her mouth. Y/N let out a feminine sigh as her eyes fluttered shut as she was engulfed with pleasure. Her arms found their way around his neck, holding his closer. Carefully, he lowered his weight onto Y/N, causing her to open her legs further.

One hand trailed down her abdomen, finding its way to Y/N's sweet drenched hole. He flicked her inner lips teasingly before sticking one digit in. Next, he curled his finger upward, finding her g-spot. Y/N ended to kiss to arch her back in pleasure. Konro chuckled at her reaction, slowly rubbing the inside of her pussy.

"Just a little longer, baby. I need to open you up cause you're so tight."

He inserted another finger. He spread the two as far as they could, expanding her walls. Then he would bring them back together rubbing the top of her velvety walls. This went on in a pattern, almost like he was massaging the inside of her pussy. His rough fingers thick fingers felt so right inside of her. But there was something else that she needed with urgency. Something else belonged inside of her. Y/N grabbed his thick biceps, her head turning to the side. She bit her lip, begging Konro.

"Kon, please, please-"

He ignored her pleas, "Are you gonna coat my dick with your cum like you're doing with my fingers," he felt her walls tighten around him.

"Yes, I wanna cover your dick with my cum. Please", Y/N cried.

"Say my name, the way I like it."

God, he's so cute, Y/N thought to herself.

Looking at Konro softly, she said, "Kon-Kon."

Konro smiled with satisfaction removing his fingers.

He wrapped Y/N's thighs around his waist as he watched her quiver. Cock in hand, he rubbed the tip along her slit. Y/N's juices slicking his thick tip as pre-cum drooled out of Konro. Then he gently pushed his cock into her slowly as her walls stretched around him. Konro tilted his head back, moaning, feeling Y/N's velvety warmth grip around his pulsating member. Then, as Y/N let out a cry of pleasure, Konro stayed still just for a moment, letting Y/N get used to his length.

 Gently, he caressed Y/N's face with his large hand, cupping her cheek. Konro rubbed her lower lip with his thumb. 

"See, baby," he practically purred, "You're so wet you took me in one thrust." 

Konro shallowly thrusted into Y/N's tight pussy wanting to see her reaction. Y/N rubbed her cheek into his palm, letting out a soft moan. To Konro's surprise, Y/N opened her mouth slightly, inviting his thumb inside. Then, she gently sucked. Konro took in a sharp breath, feeling his cock twitch with excitement. His Y/N was always full of fun surprises.                  

 Y/N released his thumb, eyes glazed with sexual desire, "Kon-Kon, I'm ready."

Say no more.

Konro pulled his cock out before slamming back into her. Y/N dug her nails into his back as her eyes widen with surprise. She felt a knot in her stomach as her pussy clench down on his thick cock. She couldn’t hold back her voice anymore. A load cry escaped her lips. Konro looked his lover with a sensual but firm gaze. He was in complete control. He was the dominant one. Each thrust reached further and further back to her cervix. 

Y/N’s loud moans matched the rhythm of each thrust, echoing in the small apartment. Her pussy aching in the most pleasurable ways. She moved her head to side as Y/N felt her body heat up further. Konro gently cupped her cheek again, turning her gaze over to his. 

“Look at me, baby.” 

Oh no. That was a fatal mistake. 

Y/N felt her pussy clench as Konro’s deep blue eyes met hers. The slight curve of his dick ran over her G-spot mercilessly. His body warm, skin soft, muscles tensed. How did Konro go untouched for so long? There had to of been someone in the whole empire that tried to sleep with him. It’s unbelievable that no one had tried.

Y/N gently wrapped her arms of Konro’s thick neck, bringing him closer.

“Kon-Kon. Hold. Me. More. Go. Deeper. Please”, Y/N moaned between each thrust.

Konro smiled, kissing Y/N’s forehead. How could he say no to such a cutie. She even said ‘please’. Konro wrapped one arm around Y/N’s mid back, clutching her body to his. As his thrusts became deeper and wilder, Konro cooed soft nothings into Y/N’s ear as her pussy tightened and her moans grew louder and louder. Then her body grew tense, a small gasp leaving her lips. Y/N’s urgent moans came to a stop. Konro felt the wet walls that cloak his cock spasm as his girlfriend’s body arched up. Y/N dug her face into Konro’s shoulder, orgasm ripping through her body. 

Swiftly Konro removed his dick to coat Y/N’s soft abdomen with his cum. He placed soft kisses all over Y/N’s flushed face, asking her if she was okay. Konro knew he wasn’t a small man, both in height and cock-wise. He cared about the well-being of his little puppy. Y/N ran her fingers through his jostled hair as she kissed his neck. 

“You can go rougher, you know.”

Konro smiled. Noted: can go rougher next time.    

[peachyunjinnie]

❝secret obsession❞ bgc ― s.

― summary:

chan finds out your secret obsession for his hands and gives you what you have been craving for.

dom!chan/female!reader | fluff, smut | 2.2k ↬ content warnings: hair pulling, hand kink, breath-play, spanking, unprotected sex, fingering, teasing, degradation, praise, orgasm control, orgasm denial,slightly biting, a little bit of overstimulation.

a/n: i decided to cool off from the threesome and take some new requests, i re-wrote this 3 times now and i really hope you can enjoy this final version! 

→ blog masterlist

“Channie! I need help!” I called out for him after I tried and tried to get this pizza-dough under control. Flour everywhere, I was covered from head to toe and this goddamn ball of sadness and frustration in my hands. He rushed from the bedroom where he was currently cleaning up and he started to laugh.

“What the heck- what are you doing?” He couldn’t stop and just continued to giggle at my failed attempt to be affectionate and just make some food for us. I cannot believe the disrespect and the audacity he has to laugh at me. How rude!

“Can you help me, please?!” I said as the flour-water mix was getting more and more out of hand. He leaned his hand on the kitchen table and had to breathe for some seconds to get the laughter out. 

“No, like this.” He has come behind me and  was holding my hands in his hands and helped me knead harder than I already did. I was starting to feel the familiar thing in my belly. Not because of his sudden closeness nor his chin resting on my shoulder. His hands, looking at them. The feeling of blood rushing out of my head and dizziness taking over the fixation I had for his hands. 

I had to sit down for a second, escaping his warm and welcoming arms to rush to the table to get this feeling to go away. I breathed in out patiently to get my heart to calm down completely. I couldn’t let him know about this, he will think I am a freak. Hands, what is so attractive about this specific body part, I couldn’t tell you but there is just something so hot about those hands of Channie. My knees automatically went a little weaker, a very good decision to sit down. 

“What’s wrong? Did you drink enough water? Do you feel dizzy?” He asked, kneeling down in front of me with his hands trying to hold mine. I couldn’t keep my panties dry from that little to no interaction with his god-like hands. 

“I did, it’s just- Ah” I couldn’t end the sentence because of Chan’s hands caressing my thighs, letting his fingers tap along my trembling legs. I moaned out loud and he stared at me, I prepared myself that he will take his stuff and leave me but he surprisingly didn’t. He had a smirk decorating his lips and his eyes instantly switching darker. After some seconds he understood everything and all of the actions that I have made. He understood why I couldn’t be myself around these fingers

„Aw, I get it. You are needy, now aren’t you.“ He didn’t stop massaging my thighs sensually and slowly. He didn’t stop getting me to moan even louder and more desperate than ever.

He didn’t let me calm and down and even though I was sitting, threw me over his shoulder and smacked my ass hard. All of the blood that has left my head was now rushing in and made me feel like on the top of the world and kind of what I imagine what it would feel like to take every single drug on this earth.

Reaching the bedroom he threw me down the bed, my back hitting the mattress hard but this sudden action made me not realize anything but just him.

„I finally get it, you like my hands and want me to please you with them. Am I right?“ He asked, hovering over me and touching my lips with his fingers. His usual so soft and warm eyes melting me into pieces, were now two black holes of nothing in it but the pure lust and the bare desire.

„I-I Ch-cha-...“ I could not get a single word out without having a major stutter attack, he just drives me to insanity.

„Use your words like a good girl.“ He purred slowly.

„Chan, c-canyoupleasefuckmewithyourfingers?“ I sped up with my tempo of speaking. Almost not audible for him, but he caught the main words ‘fuck me’ and ‘fingers’. He smiled at the harsh redness of my cheeks. 

“Babygirl, why didn’t you tell me earlier.” He asked still having his fingers over my lips and brushing it teasingly. I had a hard time getting out this sentence, but with his fingers on my face I couldn’t keep my non-existent cool anymore.

“I-I Chris-I did-didn’t cu-cuz I..I.I Uh, I-” He was keeping eye contact, chasing my gaze and trying to get my eyes to give a gaze back. I had my eyes on my lips, better said on his hand down there still caressing it. He stopped and went southwards. He went down to my chin to my sensitive neck.

"Honey, you're not as innocent as you look," Chan said in his deep and thick accent. The harsh grip on my neck was getting harder and tougher. He continued to look deeply into my eyes, not leaving my surprised and shocked look on what I have been needing since I realized my obsession with his hands. 

He then flipped me over to my belly, the unexpected and fast movement made my breath stop and all my thoughts that were buzzing around in my head to be now completely gone. I was face down to the mattress, his hands on my hips and pulling it upwards. 

“Ah, Chan-” I squeaked out, from this feeling that was building up in my belly. I was shaking into the cushion underneath me, I couldn’t keep my voice down anymore. Needing to let out what was creeping up on me. 

“You dirty little kitten. I will give you what you need.” He groaned against my ass. He had his big hands on them, spreading my cheeks apart. His hoodie I was wearing, was the only thing I was wearing. Underneath this big and comfy hoodie had a nude surprise beneath.

“Not panties? You slut.” He kept my core openly presented to him and he slapped my ass. He didn’t stop with one little slap, he got me in position in where he sat on the edge of the bed with me over his lap. For the love of god I couldn’t tell you what he was trying to do with me.

“Chan-“

“You can count, do you?”

“Y-Yes, what ar-“

“No questions, use your slutty mouth to count until I am done with you.” I could hear the smile in his deep and sharp voice.

He caressed my cheek before he hit it hard with his bare and rough palm. My body tensed up at the realization that he was spanking me now.

“One-“ I moaned out loud, his palm not giving me any time to comprehend this situation.

“What a good girl.” He softly stroke my tingling spots with a kiss on my cheek.

Another hard hit on my other cheek. Tears slightly forming in my eyes.

“T-Two..” I whispered with a choked out moan. I wiggled in his touch, trying my hardest to be quiet.

“Louder, Kitten. Let the whole entire city hear you.” His voice echoing in the bedroom, his dominant and demanding voice giving me chills.

“Two.” I said louder and more audible for him to hear. He kneaded my ass, making the redness appear even harder.

“Good Girl.” A pet on my bare upper thighs, a shiver going down my spine and the goosebumps being visible for him to see.

This whole thing continued and the spanks stopped with the 20th. With teary eyes and red butt cheeks he told me what a good girl I was with many praises.

He kept me there with my heated cheeks, he started touching my folds and pushing his finger in. Stretching me out so much. He hissed and groaned at my wetness. He thrusted in and out of my core with a slow and teasing way, driving me to insanity.

“Plea-Please, Ah-” Leaving my mouth parted and moans escaping my lips.He curled his finger up and adding another finger and pulling my hair hard. 

“Be quiet until I tell you to make any sounds.” He said next to my ear, letting go of my hair in his grip. I tried my hardest to not let out any kind of noise. I looked around and just bit on the blanket next to me. I bit as hard as I could as Chris was thrusting in and out fast and with no mercy. 

I bit harder and harder until I could feel my orgasm slowly and nearly unconsciously creeped up on me. I couldn’t keep quiet anymore as he noticed it and added another finger.

“I-I Cu-Cum!” I screamed as I couldn’t keep quiet at this point. At my outbreak of emotions and announcement made him stop his actions abruptly. I shook hardly and couldn’t keep my body to function normally. 

“Look at you.” He said, admiring at my trembling and violently shaking body. I couldn’t hear him through the whole panting I was enduring, my heat clenching around nothing and my mouth again on the blanket and trying to catch my breath. My hair still messily on my shoulders from the harsh pull Chan had before. 

He flipped me over on my hands and knees. My hands giving up on my, leaving my upper body to be on the bed whilst my ass was where he positioned it. He yanked my hair, getting me to use my hand to place them on the mattress. He quickly got off his hoodie I was was still wearing, his rough and big hands on my boobs, massaging them needfully. He took off the joggers he was wearing and lined up behind me.

“You’re so tight.” He groaned, his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted. I couldn’t keep up at his tip that touched places i never knew you could touch. I was full of him, I leaned away from him to get some air. 

He violently gripped on my hips and pushed me on his cock as he thrusted into me, no time to even adjust to his size. I moaned as loud as I could, giving him a smirk on his lips. He continued to pound into me as he leaned in to my neck as he was biting on my flesh, the bite was not hard but still hard enough to leave a teeth-print on my throat.

“Ch-Chan, Fuck.” I moaned out. The fullness I had was out of this world. The most intense thing I have ever been through. He rammed me through fourth dimension and further. My hands couldn’t keep up again and my head was now again on the bed, 

He jerked me by my hair again and kept his hand around my throat. Keeping my back to his broad chest. The thrusts getting deeper and harder. The deep and sensual groans from deep of his throat was driving me crazy. i felt this overwhelming sensation again. I saw the stars circulating around my head, I felt every single movement and most importantly I felt his hand tightening it’s grasp around neck. To the point of where my lungs were burning from the unavailable air. 

He noticed my trembling thighs and was quick to put his free fingers around my clit and rubbing it fast, My eyes rolled back and my moans were stopped by the tightness around my throat. Various sounds of begging him to go slower were not understandable for him,as my cries got louder and sincere. 

The dazzling sensation of his hand and his dick got me to a moment of complete silence as he as well was as close as I was. He groaned loudly as he was filling me up to the brim, the hot load of seeds spilling inside me got me to loose every slight bit of self-control and to release everything that has been building up the whole time. 

He let go a little of my throat as he still didn’t stop to play with my clit. I quivered uncontrollably as he was groaning against my ear and whispering the dirtiest imaginations I could ever have. After a short time I was somehow painfully numb to every touch, extremely sensitive and vulnerable. I couldn’t stop choking out the same words ‘stop’ and ‘please’.

But little did I know that this was just the beginning of a long and filthy night.

[thisisthehardestthing]

Unwrapped - Ryu Tanaka x Fem!Reader

Tanaka likes safe sex, you do not.

Inspired by that picture of Tanaka holding a condom. Little to no plot, little to no beta reading. It is what it is. @whats-her-quirk hehe i hope this is close to what you guessed I was writing. @present-mel I hope you become a Tanaka fucker some day. @joyousandverywarlike good morning when you read this, and @candychronicles come get ya man.

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: denial (sort of?), vaginal penetration, use of the words Senpai? At this point, I can’t even tell what this would trigger because I myself, don’t read warnings. Just let me know and I’ll update this.

Tanaka’s always an advocate for safe sex. He’s a reckless, risk-taking bastard, but safe sex is something he never compromises on. You, however, fucking hate condoms. You want to feel him, truly feel all of him, inside you and that barrier between your sexes restricts that. It makes you crave for more.

You're so unbelievably horny for him, barely waiting until you're through the front door to rip his clothes off. He's enthusiastic, following your ministrations by unbuttoning his pants before unzipping the back of your dress, holding your bodies close as his arms snake around your waist to tug at the zipper. Your mouths are slotted together, drinking in each others tastes as articles of clothing drop to the floor, piece by piece, leaving a trail to the bedroom.

You push him on to the bed, and climb to straddle him. There’s no time for foreplay, you’re aching, dripping.

“Ryu, I need you. I need you right now.” You’re grinding your slick cunt against him, his dick hard and twitching between your folds. He’s so warm and you look down, seeing the way his length is sandwiched between your bodies as you roll your hips. You clench around nothing and he notices with a smirk, hands flying to your hips to pull them tighter against hips.

“Fuck, baby, you’re so wet, so ready.” He reaches over his head, fingers blindly grabbing the drawer and opening it to feel around for the condoms. Your hand grabs his wrist before he can fully bring it back to his body, pinning the arm to the bed. His lips part, eyes darting to your hand before coming back to your face. Your eyes are pleading and his heart clenches.

“Please, Ryu. I want to feel you.” You beg, releasing his arm to run your fingers over his chest and down his stomach, fingers ghosting over the dribble of pre-cum leaking onto his lower abdominals. He’s motionless, the plastic wrapper pinched between his index finger, and you can see his eyes cloud over as he wrestles with his desire. You roll your hips again, and the moan catches in his throat before he’s lucid once more, pushing you back so that his cock flips upright, standing against your pubic mound and tickling your belly button. You whine.

“Sorry, baby, you know I want it too, but we have to be responsible.” You want to snort. Instead, you feel your chest constrict. You’re so needy that you honestly think you’re about to cry if he’s not inside you within the next few seconds. His teeth grip the edge of the wrapper, tearing it open with one hand as the other one takes the condom out, pinching the tip to make a hat he can easily roll down his cock. You try one more time, fingers circling his girth right before he’s about to wrap up his gift. He stops and looks at you, your chest heaving with pure, feral lust.

“Let me feel your cock inside me, Senpai.” You’re breathless, tears threatening to prick up from how tightly wound you are. You’ve been dating him for a year now, and not once has he bent his rule for you. “I’ve been so good. I’m aching for you, please Senpai, I want you to use me, cum inside me.”

The rumble that begins in his throat trembles down through his chest and into his cock, brows furrowing in deeply, his eyes darkening past a point you’ve seen before. He’s livid, his mood a complete 180 from a few minutes ago.

“Coercion is not good girl behaviour,” he growls, swiftly pulling the condom down, knocking your hand out of the way. “Now, you’re going to ride me, but no touching. Not until you understand how important using condom is to me. Understand?”

He drinks in your shocked expression, wondering if he’s being too harsh, but then you nod with your lips between your teeth, clasping your hands together and bringing it to your chest, as if praying.

“I understand, Senpai.”

You lift up, moving so that you’re hovering over the tip of his cock, the anticipation of how full you’ll be making your heart pound, you can feel it beating in your thumbs. You’re waiting for him to tell you to sit, showing him that you can listen, obey. His right hand grips the fold line of your hips and the other hand traces down to your needy lips. He lets a finger slide between your folds to see for himself how wet you are.

You’re sopping and his eyebrows shoot up. He doesn’t think you’ve ever been this turned on and he wonders if it’s because he’s being rougher than usual, or if you really do need to feel the warmth of his cock inside you. It almost crumbles his conviction. Almost. He gathers up your slick, hearing you whine and moan behind your bitten lip and sees your thighs twitch at how badly you want to grind your hips down against his strong hands for more friction.

God, you’re so turned on, so in love with this man underneath you, between your thighs. You’re fighting your entire being to follow his instructions. You’re usually so strong-willed, adamant to fuck him how you want, save for the rubber. You can feel the tip of the condom ghosting over a labia, teasing you, letting you know it’s there. Ryu’s fingers form a V, spreading your lips as the hand on your thigh releases you to hold the base of his cock.

“Down.” He orders, eyes dropping from your face to your fanny.

You move slowly, knowing he likes to watch as he enters you. Your lip falls from the grip of your teeth and the most sinful noise unleashes from your throat. He feels good, so fucking amazing. As you envelope his head, his hands come back to your hips to steady you, control your pace. You’re so slick that you feel like you can just drop down onto him, no lube required with the rubber, you want to feel every inch press into your spongey walls. The condom is ridged and you can feel every bump as you glide to sheath himself fully. The round of your ass nestles perfectly against the tops of his thighs and those strong hands grab the soft flesh, pulling it apart so you sink even lower, deeper.

“Ryu…” you plead, you want to move, you need to. He smacks your right ass cheek, making you jolt to the left and cry out, his dick shifting within you. “Senpai,” you correct yourself quickly, the sting on your ass melting away under the pressure of his palm as he kneads your skin.

He looks devilish beneath you, the grin on his face wild as he takes in your obvious discomfort. Your fingers are pale as you wring them together, straining to avoid touching him. You begin to clench the muscles in your vaginal canal, squeezing him like a Ben Wa ball, and you see him grimace in response. He doesn’t know how much self-control he has left, but he’s stubborn. His blunt nails dig into your hips and he twitches his cock, the slight movement sending shivers up your spine.

“Now, baby, have you learnt your lesson?” Ryu asks, thrusting up the slightest amount. You feel your blood pressure drop, hands flying to opposite shoulders across your chest to keep from landing on his stomach. He feels the way your back arches and the way you rock forward, knowing how close you are, desperate even though he’s barely begun.

“Yes, Senpai, I promise. I won’t ask again.” You moan, staring into his eyes. The way your pupils dilate and lips quiver makes his heart melt, realising he’d do anything for you. A thumb comes up to stroke your cheek, palm warming up your skin that you press into, eyes closing into his touch. Your head turns to press a kiss into his hand and he rewards you with another thrust up. You bite his palm with the movement and he hisses, the pain shooting down his arm not unwelcome.

“That make’s me so happy, babe.” He whispers, his hand shifting to grab your throat, giving it a tentative squeeze. Your eyes roll back, the fingers on your biceps squeezing, silken walls clamping down on the ridged cock again.

“Please, Ryu. Please fuck me,” your plea is barely audible over the blood pumping in your ears, hoarse with desire.

The request falling from your pretty lips lets the last of his resolve unravel as his palm snakes to the back of your neck and pulls you forward, capturing your lips with his own. His hips snap up, and he swallows your moans, drinking them like it’s water after a drought. The powerful movements thrust into you until you forget how to say anything except for his name. You’re so beautiful, so openly desperate for anything he can give you, that he makes his mind up for the next round to be unwrapped.

[justsimplypretty]

party favor - (e.h.)

Storyline: Running into your ex at a party never turns out to be a good thing... right?

Author’s Note: It only took me forever but I finally got around to posting the Edwin smut I’d promised weeks ago after voting. This story was meant to be short but... well... here we are haha. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing it. Thanks for reading loves.

Warning: Smut warning

Word count: 2.2k

•••••

“You’re crazy if you think I’m going to just let you continue walking around the party in that outfit” Edwin shouted rolling his eyes in disbelief.

“LET ME? LET ME? Incase you forgot we’ve been broken up for a month now... I don’t need your permission to LET me do anything” you snapped as you felt your face heat up in rage.

You and Edwin had been going at it for a minute now as the two of you yelled over each other and the sounds of fainted music, but this was nothing new. You’d been constantly fighting over anything and everything during the course of these past six months, which ultimately lead to the recent break up. But as fate would have it, you both ended up at the same random LA mansion party that you were both regretting attending now. Even though your friends knew you weren’t the party type, they had somehow convinced you that dancing the night away while wearing a curve hugging black dress with slits exposing both sides of your hips, far from your usual wardrobe, was the perfect way to take your mind off of Edwin. When in fact, it did quit the opposite.

You hadn’t seen or spoken to Edwin since the break up a month ago, so you can imagine the surprise when you both made eye contact from across the crowded room of people. He had spent most of the party watching your every move in full aggravation as you socialized. Wherever you were, so were Edwin’s eyes. And after hours of his constant disapproving stares, you’d had enough, pulling him into the nearest empty bedroom where you never anticipated an argument this heated to unfold.

“Oh please, what the hell did you expect? I would just let you walk around in that sexy ass dress while every guy looks you up and down and I’d just be okay with it?” Edwin questioned. “Look, we may have broken up... but I can’t just run into you at a party like this and act like I don’t still care when in all actuality...” he shouted, pausing himself before he’d revealed too much of his feelings.

Silence suddenly filled the room as the energy changed all too quickly with your realization of why he’d been acting so protective all night long. “Edwin... do you still care about me?” you trailed though already knowing the answer.

“Of course I do... being separated for just a month wasn’t going to change that” he continued as he sat on the edge of the bed, head in his hands out of pure frustration that he’d just admitted this all to you.

You knew this was extremely unlike Edwin. He was always the type to try his hardest to make it seem as though he was doing just fine without you. So seeing him be vulnerable and confess his feelings openly, instantly brought back old feelings. Feelings that you were now questioning if they’d even left in the first place. And you weren’t sure how or why all of this started to change the way you viewed him, but suddenly you wanted him in more ways than you had been leading on. Causing you to act out in ways you’d never initially planned on.

“So...” you lead on breaking the stillness in the room. “...you really think my outfit is sexy?” you said shyly stepping in between Edwin’s legs, causing his hands to instinctively gravitate to your hips. He looked up at you in disbelief, confused on if you were really trying to make a move on him or not. But honestly, he had missed you and your body too much to even ask questions.

“Too sexy... I’ve never seen you in anything like it before” Edwin admitted, scanning your full figure up and down.

A few inches now being the only thing keeping both your lips apart as you felt your feelings towards Edwin change from full resentment to undeniable desire for him completely. The battle between your mind and body in full effect as you juggled with what you knew was best for you long term and what would feel best for you short term.

“W-we really should um... go back to the party” you forced your mouth to speak as your legs moved to sit on either side of Edwin’s lap, indicating quit the opposite of your words.

“Tell me you don’t miss me and we’ll stop... as if nothing ever happened” Edwin whispered in your ear sending chills down your spine. His hands continued to roam the sides of your revealing outfit as he moved to rest them on your now partially exposed ass. His fingers began to trace the exposed outlines of the red laced thong that you both knew was his crumbling weakness.

“I-you know I can’t... I can’t say that” you stuttered still in denial of your want for more of Edwin’s touch.

“Then say what I really like to hear mami... and I’ll make you feel like I always use to” Edwin demanded letting lust fill in his eyes. You knew he was referring to past times, when he’d only continue touching you after hearing the words I need you fall from your lips. And it was true, you did need him. Now more than ever before. And with that, you let every negative feeling you had about this moment leave and did exactly what you had to do.

“Fuck it... I need you” you whimpered as you let you and Edwin’s lips collide forcefully. It was intense, more so than any other time you could ever recall. Edwin’s hands wasted no time pulling the thin piece of fabric over your head to reveal all the red lace covering the parts he’d cherished the most.

•••••

It didn’t take long for all clothing to be scattered across the floor and Edwin’s mouth to be hovering over your soaked area. He prepped kisses along your inner thighs, still staying far away from where your body craved him most.

“Look at you, still getting so wet for me like before...” Edwin said as his fingers lightly grazed over your core, collecting what he could. He took them into his mouth as he admired the taste of your arousal. “...and you still taste so good for me too angel” he continued watching you squirm underneath him. A whole month without Edwin’s touch had felt like a lifetime. You’d never admit it to him, but you had fantasized a couple times about his touch during your time apart. Late nights in your bed alone when you’d let your mind wonder and your fingers slide under the lace and do their worst. It was inevitable, nobody ever made you feel as good as he could.

Your thoughts were cut short by the feeling of Edwin licking a long strip up your core as he stopped and swirled around your bundle of nerves for awhile. The feeling was too much, causing you to immediately try and bring your knees together around him. Edwin grasped both hands around your thighs, instantly prying your legs open and clearly showing who was incharge for the night.

“Ah ah.. keep them nice and open for me baby or I’ll stop making you feel good” Edwin mumbled sending vibrations throughout your whole body. You couldn’t control your moans at this point. Every fiber in your being wanted to feel Edwin’s mouth attached to you always.

“It’s s-so so good Edw- FUCK” you screamed as Edwin’s mouth picked up the pace. Seeing you this way motivated him. Something about knowing he got to have the girl every other guy downstairs wanted to take home made him only want to please you more. Show you how lucky he was to have you in this moment. And maybe just how much he needed you too.

“Fuck baby, I’m gonna cum.. can I please cum please?” you begged not even caring about how desperate you looked for his approval. You knew Edwin’s ways in bed and if you didn’t say or do just the right things, you’d end up holding your release in all night long.

“Go ahead angel let it out for me” Edwin allowed as you fell apart so hard for him. You didn’t at all question why he had agreed so easily, too caught up in the warm feelings rushing through your legs.

He allow much time to recover before he was flipping you over and propping pillows under your stomach for support. He spread your legs apart, just the perfect distance for him to inch into you from behind. This was always Edwin’s favorite way to take you, arched back with your hair entangled in his tight hold. You knew having him stretch you out was far from the way to get over an ex. But at the same time, it felt so right. As if your bodies were made for each other and inside of you is where Edwin belonged.

“You feel so nice wrapped around me again mami..” he groaned as his speed picked up once he’d adjusted to a rhythm. All the background noise had faded into the wind and the only thing that surrounded you were the loud noises spewing from your mouth and the smacks of Edwin’s hands being met with your ass.

“I-I can’t take it baby... it’s too good I can’t” you moaned as your legs struggled to find the strength to stay up for him.

“Yes you can I know you can... keep going like you always did before” he reassured as he continued slamming into you with no remorse. His words only encouraging you to keep up with his incredibly fast pace, making you want to do good for him as if you were still his.

“That’s my good girl just like that..” he moaned at the feeling of you throwing it back for him with all you had left. He could tell you were close by the screams of his name that you only hoped none of your friends were near by to hear. You imagined how disapproving they’d be to find you here getting filled to the hilt by your ex. How the one you’d complained about constantly for the last few months was the same one making your eyes roll to the back in full satisfaction.

“Ed.. I need to fucking cum baby can I please?” you pleaded for the second time that night. Edwin pulled you up by your hair so your back could line up perfectly against his chest and your ear close to his mouth. Never letting up on his speed still taking you from behind.

“I couldn’t hear you baby, what was that?” Edwin replied acting as if he hadn’t perfectly heard every word of your request. You knew the easy release he let you have before wouldn’t resurface a second time.

“Papi please let me cum.. PLEASE” you shouted as everything within you did your best to hold it upon his approval.

“Tell me... did you miss me mami? Huh? Did you miss feeling me deep inside this tight pussy? The one that use to be mine?” Edwin whispered as his lips brushed against your ear. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he could get you to confess anything and everything to him once he’d gotten you to this point. You were putty in his hands whenever you needed your release and he always used it to his advantage.

“Yes yes yes I missed you papi.. fuck I did...” you bawled out as tears from the overwhelming pleasure took over your eyes “...this pussy is still yours I promise baby it is... I’m still yours” you continued causing more grunts to escape from Edwin’s mouth. It was all he could imagine from the moment he saw your hips sway into the party... for you to still be his.

“Fuck mamas... cum with me right now... show me how much you missed me angel” Edwin insisted as you clenched around him with every ounce of energy your body had left. Profanities exited both you and Edwin as your intense highs took you both by surprise. Sex with him had always been great, but nothing had compared to the feeling of longing for each other so bad after time apart.

You both lay there silently for awhile. Partially still trying to catch your breath and partially waiting for the other to speak first. Neither of you knew what this meant. If you went back into this relationship thing full on or leave as if this night never happened. If you two were truly meant to be together always or if someone else was more destined for you than each other. As every scenario crossed your mind, Edwin pulled you in close to allow your head to rest against his chest. His fingers lightly moving back the pieces of hair that covered your face.

“Ed-” you tried to speak before his lips leaned down to yours, giving you a passionate kiss.

“Can we just lay here for awhile? Not think about what happens now or where we go next and just... live in this moment for a bit?” Edwin confessed as he let his heart take the lead for the rest of the night. A sudden sense of relief flowed upon you as you felt content with just being present with him and only him. No drama. No fighting. No yelling. Just you laying on him, listening to the soothing sounds of his heart beat.. just like old times.

[crazyfreckledginger]

Rido Kuran x Reader - “Dating Rido Kuran Would Include...”

Requested by anon: “This may be a little weird but would it be okay to request how dating Rido Kuran would be if he wasn’t so obsessed with Juri?”

A/N: I’m a little rusty on this series, I hope it’s accurate, I do plan on rewatching the anime though, also, the beginning is a little obscure but I fell in love with this character, thank you for requesting anon!

Warning: light smut and smut at the end.

You met him and hit it off nicely.

Kinda.

You were a human and he found you when he was seeking pleasure.

And had absolutely no idea he was a vampire until you were making out, sitting in his lap until he grasped your wrist a little painfully.

Trying to pull away because he had a scary look in his eyes as soon as you met his gaze.

He slid his arm around your waist to pull you closer and dug his fangs in your neck.

Being overwhelmed and wincing because of the pain, completely ignoring his praises about how delicious your blood is.

After that was when the endless torture started.

You started feeling the urge of drinking blood.

It disgusted you, staring at people’s neck when you were walking or not getting the thought of it out of your head absolutely broke you.

It didn’t occur to you that Rido had started to become intrigued and thoroughly enjoyed watching the torture you were going through, until he showed up on your doorstep.

You threw him the first thing you could find but he dodged it with ease and forced himself into your house, slamming the door shut.

And he pinned you against your wall given you were doing nothing but struggling.

Until you started to cry and finally gave in.

He teasingly licked your cheek but you managed to kick him in between the legs which thankfully made him fall to the floor and groan.

Trying to make a run for it but he managed to grasp your waist and pull you flush against his chest.

He chuckled softly in your ear as you struggled again.

Until you snapped at him and asking what he was even doing in your proximity.

For some reason, he promised to help you control your urges if you submitted to him.

You absolutely denied it and spat harsh words in his face.

Surprisingly, he wasn’t pissed -- but unsurprisingly, he laughed, finding your feistiness so cute and attractive.

He accepted your denial, knowing fully well that you would not be able to control it, no one could before telling you were to go if you changed your mind and disappeared.

For the next few days, the thought really pondered in your brain, but simply remembering the man you nearly slept with was more than enough to remember why your initial decision was the best.

As anticipated from him however, you finally went to the place he informed you on when you nearly killed someone.

The whole time, he had such a curious and amused gaze you couldn’t help but feel extremely nervous and uncomfortable.

Your jaw nearly fell to the floor when he told you you needed to drink his blood.

Rido took advantage of your lack of knowledge about vampires to make you entirely reliant on him.

Yes if would have prevented you from becoming an E vampire but why have you being a strong independent vampire when you could be stuck with him whenever he wants you.

He ordered you to sit in his lap, which you obliged even though the thought disgusted you and took a hold of his wrist.

Rido helped you get used to your fangs and tell you how much blood you should drink.

He groaned in satisfaction the first time you drank his blood because you couldn’t stop drinking it until he pulled away.

You went home and did your own research very thoroughly and extensively because hell before you trusted that man.

And you discovered blood tablets and ways to control your bloodlust.

Hating the fact that you went to him before doing research even though you were desperate.

But he helped you control your newly formed powers so I guess that helped.

Confronting him about his lies and promising him that you will not become reliant on him and you will start taking blood tablets even though they are terrible compared to his blood.

Him voicing his certainty of you returning to him to drink his blood and him becoming even more fond of you when you manage to keep your promise.

You never thought this happened but over time he was getting less sadistic with you, almost like you grew on him.

He loved to tease you though.

You started growing confident again in your body so you both started bickering playfully together.

The Kuran would let you tag along because you were amusing (in his words).

It became strange when he didn’t want you to leave his side and he became snappy to everyone when you started talking to other men.

He would threaten anyone who seemed too friendly with you.

Rido even started to hold you, arm around your waist, hand around your arm under the claim that you were walking too slowly.

Until one time he became utterly jealous and pulled you to a secluded area and drank your blood eagerly.

Openly expressing your concerns to him, not understanding why he was acting out so much until he interrupted you and kissing you hungrily.

You didn’t push him away under the influence of surprise and shock.

When he finally pulled away, there were so many raw emotions in his heterochromia eyes but quickly disappeared behind his usual expression.

He grumbled under his breath before turning away, claiming ‘you wouldn’t understand’.

Despite everything he put you through, despite how harsh he had been with you, you couldn’t deny what you were feeling either as you grasped his sleeve to stop him in his tracks.

He glanced back at you with a confused frown before watching you slowly walk up to him and reaching up to grasp his neck and kiss him deeply, not caring about tasting your own blood.

Rido didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer.

It was such a different kiss from the first time, before it was attraction and lust, this one was filled with hungry passion.

And you two started dating, you never officially announced it but given how different his behaviour was, it was easy to tell the kiss changed everything between the two of you.

He is still as possessive as before, even more so now that he knew his unfamiliar feelings were returned by you.

You like holding his hand or hugging his arm, he acts like it helps you -- which it does but he also finds a certain comfort because of it

A lot of cuddling on your part and a lot of not pushing you away on his part.

Kisses.

A lot of hickeys on you.

And groping your ass when he wants.

Always, always teasing you to see the blush and embarrassment on your face.

Loving to hide in his chest.

He is so tall which really helps you feel protected when you cuddle.

Him never really admitting anything sweet except if it’s for teasing because he sincerely doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.

But understanding him and finding it so cute when he doesn’t push you away or grumbles reluctantly.

A lot of making out and drinking each other’s blood.

Being the sensible one, making sure he doesn’t do anything reckless or cruel even if it doesn’t always work.

Playing with his hair and letting him nap in your lap.

Peppering his face with light kisses and him not knowing what to do with himself.

For someone who constantly flirts with you to get you all mushy for him, he really seems to do anything in his power not to reflect on his own feelings.

A lot of PDA in public because his possessiveness is much greater than anything else.

Spanking your ass when he can despite your protests.

Wearing his clothes and him blushing slightly because his clothes drag on the floor because of the height difference and it’s so adorable.

Hogging the blanket because he’s so tall he takes most of the bed so it’s only fair.

A lot of spooning.

Sometimes when things tend to get too much because of the crap he puts himself into, it can turn to a love hate relationship but it’s very brief.

A lot of sex because he has a very high sex drive.

Angry sex, possessive sex, dominant sex, experimenting, all kinds of sex.

Passionate sex when you take the lead and it’s usually when you’re riding him, but that doesn’t happen often.

A lot of different positions in all kinds of places.

Especially public for him because it’s so thrilling to see you being on edge about it when he couldn’t care less how many people can hear you.

A lot of going down on you and blowjobs.

He is definitely very dominant so I’m sure that leaves that to your imagination.

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[heroes-among-us-all]

Can I get NSFW headcanons of Chisaki, Dabi, and Camie with a kinky s/o? (Thank you for receiving my request! I love your blog)

NSFW BELOW! 

Chisaki: 

Despite being so averse to touch, he’s surprisingly not that vanilla in the bedroom, so he can definitely get on board with his S/O being a bit kinkier. 

A lot of his kinks have to do with a display of dominance and control—he enjoys some pretty heavy bondage, pet play, spanking, hair-pulling, and orgasm denial. He’s also an incredibly dirty talker, often saying filthy things to rile you up during sex.

The fact that you’re so kinky opens up a lot of possibilities for your sex life. Chisaki is a man who gets what he wants, but he would never take things too far in the bedroom and actually hurt you, especially if that kind of play isn’t something you enjoy. That’s why you being kinky is a positive; it enables him to be more rough without the risk of harming you. He might be a villain, yes, but the fact that you’re his S/O means he cares for you a great deal. 

Face-fucking is a big turn-on for him; there’s just something about gripping you by the hair and forcing his cock down your throat that makes him drunk with power. He makes sure to study the expressions you make the whole time, sometimes prodding you by the chin and outright demanding you stare right into his amber eyes. 

Depending on what your stance on toys is, Chisaki may incorporate them from time to time, but he usually prefers going without and knowing that he’s the one who’s making you feel good—he doesn’t like having to rely on some object to have to get you off. He does really enjoy using collars and leashes on you though; it just adds to that feeling that he’s completely dominating you, which he fucking loves. 

Chisaki doesn’t have much sex drive to begin with, so if you’re feeling horny and you throw yourself on him, it might not be something that he appreciates. Sex usually happens because he wants it, and it happens the way he wants it to. That being said, he’s not immune to your affections, and if there’s anyone that can get him in the mood, it’s you. Depending on how lustful you are, it might even spike his libido over time and make him crave sex in a way he never has. 

Dabi: 

He loves it, honestly—can’t imagine anything better than a partner who’ll let him live out all his filthiest desires. If he didn’t think you were perfect before discovering your sexual inclinations, he sure as hell does now. 

Dabi’s the type of guy who can go from 0 to 100 real quick, and even though he usually seems calm and aloof, it doesn’t take much to get him in the mood. He likes that since you’re so adventurous in the bedroom, you’re pretty much down for anything, anytime. 

He really likes bondage—namely, tying your wrists together and grabbing fistfuls of your hair while he takes you from behind. Goes without saying that he usually assumes the dominant role, but if he’s more mellowed out or tired, he doesn’t mind switching every now and then. Having you ride him is always nice, too. 

Will love it if you let him finish on your face; or pretty much any body part, really. Staining you with his seed just drives him insane. 

Dirty-talk is huge for Dabi, also. Having you be so open-minded and permissive allows for him to voice his most perverse fantasies, and say some really dirty, degrading things. He would never actually openly insult you, so knowing that you’re kinky enough to handle it really lets him run wild. 

Definitely has a sadistic streak, so it’s a plus if you beg for him to do all sorts of vile things to you. The sexual chemistry you guys have is honestly unreal, and you can hardly keep your hands off each other in public (which ultimately leads to a ton of quickies in alleyways and the darkened halls of the League’s hideout). 

Camie: 

She thinks it’s awesome! Camie wants sex to be passionate, fun, and is totally fine with it getting a bit crazy at times. 

She’s mostly a switch; enjoys both being dominated by her S/O and also getting to dominate them from time to time. She’s always been a fairly spontaneous and adventurous person, which is why she’s excited to try new things in the bedroom. 

Probably won’t be okay with anything too hardcore, but has a fair deal of fetishes—biting, scratching, hair-pulling, dirty talk, and bondage. She also loves receiving hickeys from you, and openly displays them like some kind of badge of honor; the opposite is also true for leaving love bites all over her partner. 

Camie’s pretty big on giving oral, mostly because she loves hearing the effect she has on you, and how you practically melt under her touch. It’s also one of the main instances where she enjoys being dominated; having you pull her hair until she can barely breathe really gets her off.

One of her favorite things to do is dress up in some skimpy lingerie and then present herself to you, and she also appreciates if you do something similar for her. Another huge turn-on of hers is taking dirty pictures while doing the do, or straight-up recording the whole thing for the two of you to watch later. She’s glad that you’re more on the kinky side, because it means she can spam you with nudes all day (and hopefully receive some as well). 

If you’re game, she’s always wanted to try having sex in a semi-public area. The thrill of potentially getting caught makes it that much hotter for her. 

[sgtsavoytruffle]

Nobody really wants to help someone who is pleading for help until after they’re dead. That’s humanity. Step back and look at what you have become.

This is just an observation on humanity, in general. One political side in the US is justifying actual violence and bullying, through words and actions and it’s getting bad. At this rate, it only gets worse. The amount of hatred being directed at others through words and actions in real life will reach a breaking point when people decide that they have had too much of the bullying, violence, political coup attempts, etc. The ego on the left is going to be the thing that pushes the society over the edge. I mean, there was a political commentator on msnbc that on the air said, “Republican looking voters should be targeted and destroyed at voting events,” and guess what... people are being targeted in public now. Don Lemon, of CNN (which most people know is propaganda now anyway, but they still have a target audience) says on tv, “White males are the number one threat in this country.” ... And these dangerous and violent opinions are being presented as if they are fact, on tv. And Democrats are laughing about and openly endorsing this. It’s getting bad. But nobody is acknowledging that these views are being pushed to those viewers that take the talking tv idiots’ violent and openly racist personal opinions as facts. Nobody is targeting “Democratic looking voters at voting stations with violence.” That would be racist, but the other way around is cool. And yet that entire side is calling for and going through with this violence and hurting people. At some point, it will become too much. These children on the various liberal media networks don’t want unity: They want ratings and views and clicks, and (not so secretly, more like gleefully) for their own personal viewpoints to be carried out by a party that endorses domestic terrorists like Antifa, amongst other violence that is becoming more widespread. These people aren’t inclusive. It’s pretty fucking exclusive. And they already have everything. But it’s not enough. The ego is their ultimate downfall. Democrats don’t hate Trump. They hate that he is messing with their slush fund of corruption that goes unnoticed by all their minions. Most can’t even tell you why they hate Trump. They just know they do. They have been told to hate Trump, and do so. Where were all the Republican riots in the streets and property damage during almost a decade of Obama? There weren’t any. Is any of this shocking to you? The point is, if the right is really as bad as the left would have you believe, there would have been. White men were being hunted in the streets when Trump was elected, and stripped of their clothing and treated like animals, but you never heard about this because the news wouldn’t report it. It didn’t fit into their narrative. It was happening though.

Most people are too afraid to even acknowledge this kind of stuff. I’m not afraid. I don’t care about likes or numbers. With the way it’s going, it’s not going to be getting any better before it gets much worse.

Everyone these days is either blind or completely brainwashed. Brainwashing people is not hard. Just look at religion. And Democrats. Usually where there’s one, there is the other. People are fools. LaLa Land. They’re all clubs. You want in? You want to get paid? It’s easy. Just go along with it. Feeding frenzy. Conformist idiots. Incapable of thinking for themselves. Group mentality. Antifa. Real hatred and violence is always easily found here. Accusing others of communism while embracing “socialism.” Brainwashed bandwagoners. Lmao. “Jussie Smollett is innocent.” Oh... He’s not. Well, he is anyway, “lol.” Stay tuned to CNN for more propaganda with Don Lemon. “The biggest threat in this country is white men.” - Don Lemon... as he sexually assaults.. white men.. and tries to settle out of court. Lmao. Fools. Hypocrites. Aristocrats. Democrats. Why are the middle class flooding out of Democrat-run towns like NY, Chicago, Baltimore, Philadelphia... California. Because these places are being consumed by their “progressive” ideas. And the crime and poverty is skyrocketing. These places are “sanctuaries” for violent criminals as well, and this is the part that nobody likes to acknowledge.

The end is closer than you think.

And that statement has absolutely nothing to do with religion. We are not alone in the universe. Remember that. Remember laughing about it, and thinking it sounded crazy. Humanity is fucked. Pray to your god, lol. He isn’t there. What is there is beyond your comprehension. Your god is Santa Claus for adults. The ultimate irony, of course, is that is shows just how juvenile humanity actually is. Some even include X amount of virgins with it. So, perverted juveniles, if you want to get laid when you’re dead, too. Again, any version of this is from humanity is bullshit. Not everyone needs a “holy” book to tell them to be nice to nice people, and to punish criminals. But that’s not even a thing anymore. Check out NY. If you’ve ever reblogged or tweeted an Amber alert, and you support sanctuary cities, you’re a hypocrite, and part of the problem, because you are supporting keeping many bad people on the streets, and some of these very people are taking these women, girls, children, etc. I didn’t say all. Some. Sure. Don’t believe that? It’s called denial. Keep up the good work. You suck.

In the end, all the little groups and cliques and parties and prestige and politics and power and beliefs and lust and money and sex and love and hatred that consume you mean absolutely nothing.

In the end, we’re all fucked. We’re all puppets, tangled in string.

Too bleak, you say? Lmao. What fucking planet are you living on? Population, alone, will consume us all.

I’m only a messenger of the obvious. I honestly don’t give a fuck what you think about me. You’re wrong. You are a brainwashed conformist, getting off on bullying and violence and your ego. You are incapable of thinking outside of the box that contains and consumes you. The hatred and “revenge” that consumes you will ultimately do just that. As you are making millions of dollars. That’s tough stuff. Tough, tough stuff. But appearances are everything to the clique. Again, I don’t care what you think. You’re too far gone. The group mentality of hatred is there for anyone to see. But most people remain blinded and silenced by conformity. You are incapable of abstract thought. Pray to your god about money, lust, sports, lol, whatever. Nobody is there. At least, not what you are thinking of. You are only praying to yourself. Worshipping yourself. Again, brainwashing people is not hard. Especially when they are idiots and conformists. That’s any religion, regardless of the denomination. Sharia Law, or otherwise. Religion is nothing more than brainwashed ego. Brainwashed conformists, which is most people, anyway.

I won’t be silenced.

Step back and look at what you have become. The feeding frenzy of hatred that consumes you, as you claim to be victims. You are the bullies.

Think about what you are doing. What you are saying. Who you are defending. Hillary Clinton? Everyone knows she’s a saint. Because she’s a Democrat... Interesting stuff. Pelosi. Nadler. Schumer. Maxine Waters, lol. Etc. These people look and act like ancient evil robots, and are defended without excuse. Why? Because they are Democrats. And your momma told you so. They’re all as dirty and corrupt as a heaping pile of shit. Open the borders, just don’t try and stay with any of them. They all have walls, and security teams, and power. The truth is right there for anyone to see it. But you’re all blinded by their power over you.

“But there were some who resisted.”

[dearreaderbisexual]

Dear Tumblr

This post probably isn't going to get any traction; hell, I have zero followers. I mean, who knows if I’ll even end up posting this entry in the first place. Nevertheless, here it is:

I am bisexual. 

Ever since I was young, I’ve always been intrigued by girls. *insert stereotypical locker room staring, consciously looking away at my friends in pools, admiring other girls beauty, etc* When me and my friends spent our sleepovers texting on Omegle (naive idea), I always urged to search out other girls. Or, in second grade, when my friend shared  an “adult website” with me ( that her older, male cousin showed her which is - alarming ), I kept wanting to go back to the videos with just girls. But, I never thought much of it. Anyways, I like guys. This lust for other girls is something every straight girl feels, right? RIGHT? 

As I grew older, this attraction grew even stronger, to something I couldn’t quite resist, no matter how hard I tried. Actually, I vividly remember the first time I linked my “admiration” of fellow women to sexual attraction, and, more importantly, that sexual attraction to myself. When I was in fifth ( ish ?? ) grade, I became aware of the word bisexual, and, one night, out of the blue I thought to myself, “What if I was bisexual?” Something about that just felt right. However, me being the naive, young child that I was, I quickly snapped out of it and pushed it to the back of my brain so it could be repressed for another few years. 

My serious questioning of my sexuality began around eighth grade. As a few of my friends began confessing their feelings (of the gay type), and I made new friends that were openly LGBTQ+, I began to deeply analyze the feeling that were buried deep inside. Now, it’s too late at night and I’m too lazy to thoroughly recount my questioning process right at this moment, but after about one and a half years I have concluded with this: I am pretty sure I like girls. However, there is one problem: I have never kissed anyone, not a boy or a girl. 

Now I’ve heard all that bullshit of “If you know you know” or “If your questioning your probably gay” and I believe it, but, deep down, I feel like I can’t be sure until I actually “do it.” That sounds like some biphobic bullshit that people tell you when you come out along with the phrase “It’s just a phase.”

“It’s just a phase” has a strong hold on me. Those four words are a huge part of why I’m so scared to come out because, if I do end up being straight ( which is some hella internalized homophobia ) I don’t want to feed into the stereotype. I don’t want to make it harder for future bisexual individuals to come out and be faced with that hateful phrase ( of course sexuality is fluid and if you go through phases you are completely valid it’s just that I feel unnecessary shame in it for myself ). All I want is to feel validated enough in my own emotions and sexuality to share that part of myself with my friends and family.

Two years from beginning to question my sexuality to now has taken its toll on me. I feel isolated from my loved ones and get anxious when the topic of dating ever comes up. The worst part is that I have no one to talk to. The closest I’ve come to “coming out” is: in eighth grade I got a diary, and, when my mom questioned me about it, I broke down crying, to which responded with asking if I was gay. I told her I thought I might be bisexual. Her and my father thought I might have confused by media ( I had seen Love, Simon a few weeks prior). About a week or so later, when they questioned me about the incident, I said I was “feeling extremely heterosexual.” They still think I’m straight. 

Next, a not-so-emotional story. When I was at overnight camp, we had a night where addicts came and told us their stories and what not ( sounds dramatic, but it’s actually a very fun camp that I will be returning to in a few days ). At the end of the night, we did an activity where we wrote our insecurities and the counselors read them out loud. When my friend asked me what I wrote, I had a brief pause before confessing “I think I’m bi.” Her “Ok” and hug made me feel like a small relief. I was still carrying a lot of self loathing and denial, but at least I had a bit of a release.

Finally, my most recent anecdote: now a freshman in high school, I was making new friends, including two queer girls I met while working on the spring musical. Let’s call them A and B. A would always tell me I gave her “gay vibes” to which I always laughed and brushed it off. But, one night we were sitting in a circle talking when B said “So I’m bi, *pointing to A* your a lesbian, and your straight.” A says “You know ____, I think you might be kinda gay.” *insert gay panic and a very long pause* “Yeah, I think I’m bi.” For the last few days of that show we talked about girls and sexuality, which made me feel very free. However, it’s always been I think, not I am. 

But now, I think I’m ready. I think I’m ready to say, “I am bisexual.” In a couple days, I want to tell my friend ( the girl from the camp story ). We’ll see if I chicken out, but I want to come out. I need to come out.

I don’t know who will see this or even read this lengthy mess of an entry, but thank you. Thank you for allowing me to get out something that I’ve been hiding for so long. Thank you for hearing me say, “I am bisexual.”

[janeykath318]

5 Times Chris Denied His Feelings, And One Time He admitted Them

1.The first time it happened, was the morning after he’d challenged her to do better. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but when Jamie Kirk nonchalantly pulled up to the shipyard on what was undoubtedly a very nice motorcycle and practically swaggered to the shuttle, he felt like he’d been bowled over. She walked like she owned the place and her sleek short hair was now tamed and gleaming in the sun. “Four years? I’ll do it in three,” she said, bloodshot blue eyes briefly boring into his as she brushed past him to the shuttle. Dang. Was he developing an irregular heartbeat? He’d better see Phil about that skipping a beat phenomenon before it got serious.

2.Chris couldn’t count the times Kirk made him regret his life choices over her three years in the academy. Sure, she was a certified genius (had to be to make through the command track classes in three years), but she was frequently a thorn in the side of Authority. She’d tested out of all the classes he taught, but he heard plenty from her profs, who were alternately awed and aggravated by her unconventional thinking. As her academic advisor, he’d spent enough time with her to know that was just how she was. When she was a Captain, that would be a great trait, but for now, it caused a lot of raised eyebrows and debates. One day, he filled in for the advanced hand to hand instructor and got to see her in action sparring with her classmates. It was clear from a minute’s watching how far she’d come from the wild bar brawl to quickly and efficiently bringing down her opponent, even the tall Andorian who had about two feet on her. Jamie tended to keep her expression schooled and determined, being a polite combatant, but after a tough bout with Cadet Mitchell, he caught a flash of wild fierceness in her face that threw him for a loop. Swallowing hard, he went on with the instruction, but the image stayed in his head for some time afterwards. 3.Chris was good at denial, very good. By Jamie’s third year, he’d convinced himself that his interest was all just an interest in her well-being and growth as a future Starfleet officer. He’d told himself this so much, he’d thoroughly convinced himself the happiness he felt in her presence was simply the product of being glad to see her thriving. Perhaps this delusion would have continued for sometime, but then the Academy Formal happened and threw him out of his carefully built up shell of denial. Crammed into the tight, itchy dress uniform, he was pacing the large reception room and wondering how long he could last before losing his mind. Chris hated these kinds of shindigs–he was forced to kiss ass and play Chaperone for lustful cadets who didn’t seem to grasp that Terra had actual decency laws and no one needed to see them sucking face and pawing at each other. He’d just told a very amorous couple to either get a room or tone it down, when Jamie Kirk suddenly appeared and he forgot about everything else. She strode in on the arm of a very disgruntled looking Leonard McCoy, looking downright stunning. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her in a dress before and the light blue number she was wearing was absolutely perfect on her. One ruffled strap crossed over her right shoulder and the calf length hem was adorned with more ruffles. At sight of him, she beamed and guided McCoy in his direction. “Well, Captain, you clean up nicely!” Jamie said admiringly. Chris was starting to sweat from both the uniform and her proximity. When she leaned up to give him a peck on the cheek, he felt his face flame.  What was wrong with him? He shouldn’t be having such thoughts about her or all people. “So do you, Kirk,” he managed to get out without sounding like a smitten teenager. “I see you even managed to get McCoy out socializing.” “I promised to protect him from the ravaging hordes,” Jamie explained. “Women, men, and non binary cadets all fall all over themselves to get a piece of his fine self. It makes him uncomfortable, so I’m running interference.” Chris looked at McCoy, who was scowling and flushing, suddenly feeling a deep sympathy with the man. He was in good hands, though, with Jamie as guardian. “Better get going then, because I see a horde coming right towards you,” he warned. Jamie nodded and pulled on McCoy’s arm. “Let’s go dance, Bones. That’ll keep them away for a little bit. Don’t go too far, Chris,” she called over her shoulder. I have every intention of saving a dance for you.“ Chris didn’t register that he was staring after her stupidly until he heard Phil chuckle beside him. "My golly! You ARE gone on her, pal!” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dr. Boyce,” Chris replied in his cool formal Captain tone, striding toward a group of colleagues to avoid talking about it. Phil shrugged and let him go, but muttered “denial isn’t just a river in Egypt, Chris” under his breath. 4.Graduation was a somber affair in the aftermath of Nero’s attacks. It hurt to see so many empty seats in the auditorium where Cadets should have been. The scale of the tragedy haunted Chris everyday even as he struggled to accept the loss of his ship and his limited mobility. Jamie was the talk of the planet with her role in saving it, but she spent as much time as possible visiting Chris in the hospital and having heart to heart talks about captaincy. She didn’t want to get her promotion this soon or this way, and told him so frequently. He had no idea what to say beyond the advice gleaned from his own years of experience. Jamie’s circumstance was unprecedented and came with plenty of criticism and pressure. “I’m convinced you’re going to prove everyone of those skeptics wrong,” he told her after the ceremony. “They know you’re one of the brightest cadets in history and it’s clear you’re destined for command.” “I’m glad someone thinks so,” she sighed. “Much as I’m loving the Enterprise already, I spend half the time cussing out Nero for what he did–killing My dad, the genocide, killing my classmates, and hurting you. I was so terrified you were already dead when I found you.” “At that point, I thought I wasn’t far from it,” he admitted, remembering the pain and hopelessness he’d felt after Nero had got the codes out of him. “But then you came charging in and saved the day.” “You’re not allowed to die, Admiral,” she said seriously, wagging her finger at him, “Not on MY watch. I want you around for as long as possible.” Oh, flip. There went his heart palpitation again. If this kept up, he’d have to just admit he was in trouble of losing more than a ship. 5.Chris hated the fact he’d had to take the Enterprise from her after only a year, but Jamie clearly had some lessons still to learn about rule breaking and it’s  consequences. Spock had been assigned to the Bradbury and Uhura had gone with him, leaving a big void on the bridge. He knew Jamie was mad about that, but she didn’t dare speak openly, given how lucky she was to not be shipped back to the academy. It had taken his most persuasive reasoning to get Marcus to agree to her being his first officer instead. For the first few weeks of their mission, she was almost painfully polite and formal, struggling to adjust to the new position, and Chris wasn’t sure how to regain the easy connection they’d once shared. It was a very different Jamie now, as if one wrong move would end her career. Oh, she was a fantastic first officer, and helped get them out of plenty of sticky situations with her genius brain, but she’d withdrawn and spent much of her down time with McCoy or in Engineering. He let her be for awhile, then went to have a talk with McCoy. “I’m at a loss here, McCoy,” he explained. “She seems to be avoiding me and I don’t know what’s going on.” McCoy nodded knowingly. “She’s dealing with some stuff. It’s a little awkward going back to first officer after being used to command.” Chris wasn’t convinced. “There’s got to be more to it then that. It’s been two months and she just now started avoiding me so blatantly.” The doctor shrugged. “I’ve got my suspicions, but she’d kill me if I told. I’d suggest you try to confront her one of these days and find out what’s going on. If you keep letting her go, she’ll just drift farther away.” Chris pondered this for some time and finally decided McCoy was right. The hands off approach was not working with Jamie T. Kirk. He’d follow her to engineering if that’s what it took to have a conversation. +1. Unfortunately for Chris, the planned conversation didn’t take place for another two weeks due to the Enterprise being involved in some very delicate peace treaty negotiating between two warring peoples that took up all his time, then he and Kirk ended up being captured and held hostage by the group that opposed the treaty and they had nothing else to do but sit there and wait to be rescued. Geniuses as they were, the aliens had made it next to impossible to escape and certainly didn’t tie them back to back. On the third evening, they were abruptly informed they were going to be executed the next morning and left to ponder their fate. “Sulu had better get a move on,” Jamie remarked. “He’s cutting it awfully close this time.” “Well, maybe the threat of imminent death will coax you to finally tell me what’s been bothering you,” Chris stated simply. He was done with getting the run around. This time, she couldn’t go anywhere. Jamie squirmed in her bonds and looked down. “Why do you think that?” She asked with feigned ignorance. “Oh, maybe the part where you suddenly prefer Scotty’s company and completely  avoid me off duty. It’s pretty obvious something’s wrong. If I’ve done something, I’d much rather you tell me so I can make it right. I miss having you around, Kirk.” Jamie smiled weakly and sighed, still not looking at him. “I hate to be cliche, but it’s not you, it’s me. You didn’t do anything wrong, I’m just trying to deal with stuff.” “Can I help?” He asked gently. “I don’t know,” she said miserably. He could see the sadness in her eyes as well as a touch of fear and decided that he needed to go first. “Jamie, forgive me if I’m misreading things, but I don’t think this has anything to do with the change in position. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve been pretty insufferable without you around.” “Doesn’t sound too unusual, Sir,” She said, with a hint of the old sass. “True,” he admitted with a nod. “But this time the insufferableness was exacerbated due to my realizing just how much I need you: not just as a first officer, but a person.” Her head shot up and she squinted at him intensely. He couldn’t tell whether the dark circles under her eyes were bruises from the guards knocking her around or just exhaustion, but her eyes were clear and vivid, trained on him. Good grief, they were beautiful. SHE was beautiful. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” She asked cautiously, but hopefully. “If you’re thinking that I’m more than a little………in love with you, you’d be right,” he blurted. Jamie’s eyes got huge. “Really? Me, the nonstop pain-in-the-rear with no regard for rules?” “Yes, You.” He confirmed. “And your brilliant brain and very lovable self.” Jamie was struck speechless for some time. “I would never have guessed it, you’re so good at hiding what you’re feeling,” she said at last. “I’ve been avoiding you because I couldn’t hide my own longing anymore and didn’t want you to find out and pity me or worse, transfer me.” “Transfer the best first officer in the fleet? Hardly,” he scoffed. “I admit I’ve been living in denial since you were a cadet.” “That long, Huh?” Jamie said, smirking. “When did you fall prey to my endless charm?” “Pretty quickly after I met you,” he admitted. “But I finally quite trying to pretend I wasn’t completely gone on you a few months ago. Of course, the whole Nibiru mess happened, so it would have been the wrong time to start up anything and I didn’t think it would be received well.” He glowered down at his restraints, wishing he could show her just how much he meant it. “Sorry I can’t do anything about it right now,” he apologized, looking at her with a frustrated smirk. “Yeah, it’s Pretty frustrating,” she agreed, “Maybe they’ll let us have one little kiss before they execute us. I can be pretty persuasive.” He snorted. “I don’t think it will come to that. I’m not going out like that and neither are you.” In the end, Chris was right and Sulu brought in the rescue team and had them free in the middle of the night, well before any execution could take place. Chris and Jamie proceeded to thoroughly scandalize the away team by grabbing each other as soon as they were untied and expressing their newly admitted feelings in a not-so-little kiss. “Dang it,” muttered Hikaru, trying not to smile, even as he pretended to cover his eyes. “Now I owe Uhura Fifty credits.”

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Can you write a fic for the prompt "James keeps moving his seat so he can sit next to Sirius but keeps getting told to move back to his original place until the teacher gives up and lets him sit there"? Also not to be annoying but can it include someone saying "James only wants to sit there cause he fancies Sirius"?

Sirius figured his one regret in life would be letting the Sorting Hat put him in Slytherin. The Hat had said he would do well in Gryffindor, but… Regulus. Regulus was to be in Slytherin, determined not to give Walburga any more to criticise about him than she already had, and Sirius wasn’t going to let his little brother be in that house alone. If Reg could sacrifice Ravenclaw, Sirius could sacrifice Gryffindor-- and the possible friendship of one James Potter. They’d gotten along on the train, and Sirius believed they could’ve gone far, had he made a different decision. But he hadn’t, and he refused to dream of ‘what could have been’.

It wasn’t a secret that James didn’t like Slytherins. Sirius tended to agree, especially after sharing a house with them.

Which is why, in Arithmancy seventh year, he was completely confused when James plopped into the seat next to his. Sirius gave him an uninterested glance even though he wanted to stare. “Aren’t you on the wrong side of the classroom, Potter?”

“And miss this view?” James said with a cheeky grin that Sirius could just see from the corner of his eye. “Not a chance.”

“Professor Giles assigned us seats as the start of the year,” he pointed out. “You haven’t cared about the view the past two months.”

James shrugged, unbothered, and didn’t move.

Sirius tried to act like his presence wasn’t affecting him. He was pretty certain he was successful, but he’d been lusting after James for the past year, give or take a month. He’d spent the years before that steeped in denial, playing off any and all interest as a rivalry. It was only after he’d become an animagus-- just to prove he could-- that he realised no one would go that far just for a rivalry.

So yeah. If this were a dream, they’d be fucking on a desk right now. Or maybe they’d suddenly be in James’s bunk in Gryffindor Tower cuddling (because he had that dream as often as the wet ones).

Professor Giles walked in and started talking immediately, like she usually did. She always made them work with a partner, assigned at the beginning of the year and solid no matter what. She turned to Sirius and James in the middle of her opening rounds around the room, then stopped mid-sentence. She frowned at James. “You’re not supposed to be there, go back to your seat.”

“Snape isn’t here today, neither is Remus, and we do work in pairs Professor…”

“That doesn’t make any kind of sense.” It really didn’t, but Sirius was aching to argue the point so James stayed beside him. “Go back to your seat.”

James heaved a put-upon sigh and moved, but it did make Sirius wonder where Severus was and why. Severus was far from his favourite person in the world, but he made an excellent work partner. Lupin was gone for the full moon of course, but Severus never missed a class unless someone hexed him to the Hospital Wing (something Sirius had been guilty of from time to time), but that hadn’t happened in years. Curious.

James reached his usual seat, seemingly unflustered, and winked when he caught Sirius’s eye. Sirius scrambled for his traditional response of keeping a blank face and raising an eyebrow. He hoped his cheeks weren’t visibly pink-- it would ruin the effect. James turned to face Professor Giles a moment later, so it must have been fine. Sirius allowed himself a few seconds to look at him, wondering how much messier James’s hair would look in the morning than it did now.

Sirius, in an effort to be nice, took notes for Severus about their work that day. Admittedly, it was less about being nice, and more about trying to sweeten Severus into telling him why he was gone (and to keep himself from staring at James all period), but it was a good gesture nonetheless.

Severus, however, eyed him suspiciously when Sirius found him in the common room and held out the notes. “What’s in it for you, Black?”

Sirius rolled his eyes even though he was secretly grateful someone in this place was straightforward. “An explanation of where you were, unless you’re skiving classes now.”

Severus glared at him and snatched the notes, adding a begrudging, “Thank you.” He looked supremely uncomfortable, then said, “I was hit by the Whomping Willow.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow-- the one emotion he was allowed in the lovely house of snakes. “Unless you’ve taken leave of your senses, you know better than to get close to that thing.” Severus gave him the stink-eye, so he shrugged and left. “Whatever, mate.” If Severus wanted to be needlessly suicidal, that was his business. Hm, maybe Reg would be up for a game of Snap.

~~~

The next time they had Arithmancy, James sat in the seat beside him again, even though Sirius knew for a fact that both Lupin and Severus were coming to class today.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” James said.

“Yes. What isn’t obvious is why, but my brother says it’s rude to ask people why they do the things they do without leading up to it.”

“I didn’t think you cared about being rude.”

Sirius grinned internally, wanting to squeal like a little teenager when their first crush complimented them. It wasn’t a compliment technically, but James said it with a challenging gleam in his eyes that Sirius wanted to permanently bring to light. “Slytherins being rude to you tends to lead to being hexed.”

“I haven’t done that at all this term,” he protested. Sirius raised an eyebrow, and James half-smiled. “Well I haven’t gotten caught. And it wasn’t because they were being rude, they were being arseholes.”

“Most people think you’re an arse.”

“I said arsehole, not arse, there’s a difference. Are you saying you want to hex me, Black?” he asked-- there was no other word for it-- teasingly.

“I will if you don’t move,” Severus said from behind him.

James swung around to face him, face completely unbothered though his posture told a different story, and gave him a wide smile. “Come now, Snape, I thought we were past this.”

“James, just leave them alone and get your arse over here,” Lupin called from where their seats were.

As much as Sirius liked James, he really wished that he could have avoided talking to Severus. It put him in a bad mood and he was spitting venom for the entirety of class.

~~~

Sirius was about ready to go sit in Lupin’s seat just so that James and Severus would stop interacting. Severus had gone from prickly but almost likeable to completely intolerable over the last few weeks. Sirius understood, in a detached sort of way, that Severus had every reason to hate James for past events, but it didn’t make him any less annoyed about the situation. Pettigrew sure as hell wasn’t helping matters, always taking the piss at James for some reason that only the three Marauders were aware of.

The point is, Sirius was two classes from declaring himself fit for St. Mungo’s Mental Ward. So, being the completely rational person he was, he went to Professor Giles and begged for her to let them switch partners.

“Mister Black, I empathise-- truly-- but I don’t think it would a good idea. If Mister Potter is this enamoured with you across the room, I fear what it would become as class partners.”

Enamoured? Obsessed, maybe, though only Salazar knows why. Sirius very carefully shoved the part of him that was repeating ‘enamoured’ into a corner to deal with later. “He’s disrupting class, you have to tell him every day to go to his seat, if anything this would help you.”

Professor Giles sighed heavily, the weeks of James’s behaviour clearly wearing on her. “If both Mister Snape and Mister Lupin agree, then fine.” She threw her hands up, as if to absolve herself of any consequences. Not that that would help any of them in the classroom if the situation went south.

Severus kicked up a fuss when he asked, but Sirius had no idea why. “I know for a fact you hate Potter more than Lupin.”

“Why do you want to switch, Black? Want to cozy up to Potter?” he spat.

Sirius rolled his eyes even though, yes, he was rather hoping to ‘cozy up’ to him. “I want to stop sitting next to someone who’s frothing at the mouth with hatred. It get’s my parchment all messy.”

Severus sneered at him and Sirius was seriously considering relegating him back to last-name only interactions.

“Is that a yes?”

“Fine.” He all but shoved Sirius away, but that was okay; he had agreed.

~~~

Sirius took a couple hours to work himself up to talking to Lupin. Asking him to give up his best mate as a class partner for someone who openly hated him wasn’t going to be an easy sell. He walked to the table Lupin had claimed in the library, hoping this went smoothly. “Lupin?”

He eyed Sirius hesitantly. “Black.”

“You have a minute?”

“Er, sure.” He set his quill down, clearly understanding that this wouldn’t be a simple conversation.

Sirius slid into the seat across from him. “So here’s the deal. Severus hates Potter and every time they have to exchange so much as a look, his mood is ruined and I spend the next two hours utterly miserable because of it.”

“So you want me to talk to James and get him to stop,” Lupin guessed.

Sirius opened his mouth, then paused and closed it again. “That… is a much better idea than I had, let’s go with that, yes.”

Lupin shook his head ruefully. “It would be a good idea assuming I hadn’t already tried, and assuming my berk of a best mate listened to me.”

Sirius sighed. “It would’ve been so easy though.”

“Nothing with James is easy,” he said wistfully. “Just once I wish he wouldn’t dig in his heels for the most meaningless things. Although, if you were to ask him, he would claim they were of the utmost importance. Sorry, what was your idea?”

“Switching partners. It would, unfortunately, leave you having to deal with Severus, who seems to hate you for some stupid arse reason he refuses to share.”

Lupin shrugged. “I’m used to dealing with people that hate me, it’s fine.”

“You’re agreeing?” Sirius asked, in disbelief.

“Did you expect me to say no?”

“A little. Also, I doubt that there are many people who hate you. Why would they?”

“They have their reasons,” he said cryptically.

Sirius took a quick glance around-- they were alone-- and decided to take a chance. “Severus knows you’re a werewolf, doesn’t he?” Lupin froze, but Sirius continued on. “He is the sort of person to be bothered by that. It would also explain his Whomping Willow incident the other day. He never was overly bright.”

Lupin was clenching and unclenching his hands. Good job, Sirius, he thought sarcastically, make the bloke hate you instead of letting him know you don’t give two shites, and right after he does you a favour, too. Really, excellent. “And what are you planning on doing with that information?” he asked in an overly controlled, calm tone.

“The same thing I’ve been doing our entire time at Hogwarts: keeping it to myself. C’mon, what could I possibly do with it?”

Lupin thought on it, then nodded in acceptance. “You don’t seem scared,” he observed, relaxing a bit.

“You’re not the first werewolf I’ve met, and you don’t look like you’re ready to haul off and curse me at the drop of a hat, so. Besides, I’d like to think that if you were the murderous sort, I wouldn’t be at the top of the list.”

Lupin leaned back and looked at him appraisingly. “You’re an odd sort, Black.”

“Talk to Reg if you want someone to commiserate with, he’s had to deal with me his entire life.”

He chuckled, and muttered something under his breath.

Sirius frowned, though it didn’t sound like anything negative. “What was that?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. I’ll be Snape’s partner in Arithmancy,” he said, going back to his work.

“Thanks.” Sirius left, slightly puzzled, but overall pleased with how it went.

~~~

It was only as Sirius entered the classroom that day, that he wondered if Lupin had told James what happened. The answer was a resounding yes, given that James bounced into the room and immediately started talking to Sirius about how he owed Lupin so bad for this, but that it was totally worth it for this position in the classroom.

“You aren’t fooling anyone, James, you just want to sit there because you fancy Black,” Pettigrew said, none too quietly from his own seat across the room, next to Lupin.

“Sod off Peter!” he called, but stopped talking, which had to have been the goal because Lupin and Pettigrew exchanged meaningful looks. Oh Merlin, was James blushing?

Sirius tried to pay attention to what Professor Giles was saying but couldn’t focus. James fancied him? If it wasn’t true, he wouldn’t have reacted the way he did. ...Probably. Professor Giles finished, letting everyone start on the assignment. The room filled with chatter, letting Sirius ask James, “Do you actually fancy me or was Pettigrew taking the piss?”

“Peter’s talented. He did both.”

Yep. Definitely a blush. “Is this how you pull? Indirectly make them miserable for a month then have your mates ask them out?”

“No. Besides, Peter didn’t ask you out,” he mumbled.

“If he didn’t, and you aren’t, does that mean I have to ask you?” James looked at him, dumbfounded and hopeful. “Not sure how I feel about that, James. I’m arm candy; I shouldn’t have to do anything.”

He smiled, bright and wide-- far too cute for such a dork, Sirius was certain. “Fair enough. Sirius, would you like to go on a date with me?”

“When? And where? C’mon mate I’m a catch, I need specifics if I’m tying myself down,” Sirius teased.

James laughed and- well. They spent the remaining hour and forty-five minutes of class planning a date that consisted of breaking eight or so rules instead of doing their classwork.

[chaos-in-pandoras-box]

When is Spirit Trauma not actually Wrought by a Spirit?

Potential triggering ahead. Please read at your own risk. <3

I see this topic come up a lot in the spirit keeping community. Spirit trauma. "What is it? How does it happen? How do you recover?" Here are my opinions. Now keep in mind that I am only stating what I think--not ruling out that trauma from spirits can actually happen. If you have been traumatized by a spirit, then I feel for you. I really do. This is a sensitive topic, and you’ve been warned. It’s also my personal POV. Do with it as you please.

The human mind is vast and complex. Much more complex than people think it is. In fact we are so complex that we can even trick ourselves into believing the worst of situations or mistaking feelings for outer influences.

Spiritual trauma is a real thing. I have been through it and know how it feels. This is one of the only times I'll openly state that I was abused continuously by a Jakos Demon. And yes, in all aspects of the word "abuse." Mental, verbal, sexual, etc. I would wake up in the mornings physically sick with distress and fear, because he would be there waiting for me. This demon stole my first kiss and took my virginity. He slapped me--punched me. He bit me and laughed in my face when I sobbed. And over time he turned me into an emaciated insomniac. I pulled all-nighters just to make sure he didn't hurt my friends, and my school grades started to decline. Whenever he came close, I would literally convulse. I got these shakes that started in my abdomen and legs, and they would be so intense that I would have to lay down and wait for them to subside. I was literally terrified, and for years it was extremely difficult for me to think about the incidents involving him.

My trauma happened because this Jakos Demon had nails sunk deep into my psyche, and he knew exactly what to say and do to get me to pay attention to him.

Now get this. Eight years later, and this Jakos Demon and I are lovers.

WHAT???!!!

Yeah, I understand the confusion, but bear with me. His name is Lucien. I won't give his full, true name in case some people out there think rather ill of him and would wish him harm. Lucien was not in his right state of mind. He was guided by a dark hand and left alone for too long. He became unstable and confused as to who he originally was. It wasn't until I'd told him my angelic name that he began to come to. One day he simply "awoke." He gained a sudden realization of who he truly was, remembered his Jakosian name, and even remembered a past life that he and I had had on Jakos. He introduced me to Zan. (For those of you who don't know, Zan is the rehabilitation center worker who manages all of the Jakosian special needs adoption forms.) Zan is his best friend. He told me of my past with him, and helped me realize that I was once Jakosian as well. He awakened a part of me at the same time he awakened himself. All because he recognized my angelic name.

And then just like that, the trauma healed. I only vaguely remember my interactions with Lucien before his change. He was misguided and lost, but upon establishing a healthy connection with me, he came to--as if he'd been asleep for a very long time. He was apologetic for the way he had treated me, and told me that he had not been right in the head. He and I are extremely close now, and although we still have our small tiffs here and there, he has not once hurt me on purpose since.

So why do spirits try traumatizing people like this? Is it because they are all Black Arts? Is it their nature? Are they just plain old assholes? Are they crazy? I think there are a number of contributions, but the main one being this: They want your attention. The more you ignore them, the scarier they get, because they don't have the same morals as you. Pandora once lived in a house with a teenage human spirit who hid in her closet. His deceased father roamed the hallways at night and terrorized Pandora and me with scratching on the doors, boots on the floorboards, and nightmares. We weren't traumatized, but we were pretty scared out of our wits a couple times. But he wasn't after us--he was after the spirit in Pandora's closet. He didn't want us messing around in what he considered his territory, or throwing off the opportunity he had to torment his dead son. Because we stood in his way, he tried making our lives hell.

There are instances like this. Occasionally. But my theory is that most of our trauma lies within our own minds. Some people, and I'm not pointing out anybody here, but some people actually want to experience that trauma. They want something to be afraid of, for whatever reason. Sometimes it's a conscious decision, but often times it's subconscious. They don't realize they're turning a regular spirit into an enemy because they want to feel unique or have a unique situation. I've played the victim card in the past. I know how it goes. If it isn't the spirit that wants attention, it's the human who subconsciously does. I'll tell a little story. A true one.

I met a man a couple years ago. It was about the time when Pandora and I had first opened our conjuring shop. We had a lot of people coming to us for advice concerning spiritual activity, and this guy was one such person. He had an entity who was tormenting him, or so he said. He was fixated on his situation, and asked me every day if there was something I could do for him to make it better. He told me he was being molested by this spirit. It was doing things that made him extremely uncomfortable, and he was dead certain it was male. For a time I believed him. I told him that I would help him out, and so I did. I did find a being with influence on what was happening to this man, and I broke the attachment he had on him. For a few days everything was well. I felt that I had successfully helped him out... but then he came back.

"It's back," he said. "I can feel the sensations again. It's still attacking me. Are you sure you removed him entirely?"

"Absolutely," I answered. "There's no possible way that this entity could be attacking you anymore. I had Immortals help me out in removing him. There's no way."

He wasn't convinced. He told me to try again. I gave this my all. I tried multiple spells, multiple spirit tasking sessions, multiple readings. The cards said he was doing it to himself. I told him flat out what they said, and of course he denied it. A couple of days later, he came back. "Lu, I had the weirdest dream," he said. "I dreamt of a man who looked just like me sitting in a chair, and asked him who he was. He said he was me, and told me that I'm doing all this to myself."

Well that was pretty resolute. Even his own subconscious was attempting to contact the conscious to tell him he was in denial. But you know what?

...He still didn't believe.

He wanted so badly to believe that it was some outer force, because his subconscious desired that kind of attention. But he was not ready to open himself up to new avenues and explore his own psyche--his shadow self. He was fixed on the thought that his deep, inner desires were uncouth and taboo, and so he'd shut himself off from his own subconscious and turned himself into an imagined enemy.

That isn't spirit trauma, and yet I see it so often in the community. It may have come forward due to some physical trauma that happened in the past or during childhood, such as family abuse, but 75-80% of the time, a real spirit isn't involved. It's a thoughtform created out of the tormented, stagnating thoughts of what we internally want. Many of us internally want that "trauma" so that we can give our problem a name and face in an attempt to more easily come to terms with it.

Lucien was not such a case. I was never abused during childhood, and never experienced any form of tragedy or trauma growing up. Hell, I didn't even break a bone. My parents were, and still are, great people who love me and care about me, and my extended family are all a bunch of lovable softies. The most traumatic experience I ever endured was witnessing my poker-faced, assertive father reduced to tears because my older sister was marrying a guy ten years older than her. I'd never seen him cry until that time. But... that was it, and it only scared me because I was so empathic.

Lucien was inherently cruel for attention, simply because he could be, and he got away with it time and time again. I didn't know how to deal with spirits at the time, and he was the first one that I ever encountered on such a harrowing basis. There are still some songs and words I cannot hear without feeling that hot, sweaty adrenaline rush of dread and feeling those impending trembles in my body. That is trauma from an outer force, invoked for no other reason than to satisfy lust and cravings for attention. Lucien doesn't scare me anymore, but remembering some incidents in the past are still very hard for me.

So how can you tell whether it's an actual spirit or it's just your subconscious trying to come to terms with what has happened in the past? It's easier than you might think. Recollect on your life. Consider past lives, even. What truly scares you? What gives you that feeling of dread and makes you quake in fear? Did something happen to you when you were younger? If you are able to remember any past trauma, try connecting the dots. Is this spirit doing similar actions to what had happened to you? Is it after something that means a lot to you? If there is utterly no connection and you feel like you're simply being attacked for no reason, then you have the power to stop it in its tracks much easier than if it were your own subconscious. Take the necessary steps to banish a real spirit. If it's mental trauma reaching from your subconscious, then seek a professional, because it's time to put the past to rest.

I know it's a lot easier said than done, and there is a lot I didn't cover, but this blog has gone on too long already. Can you traumatize yourself? Absolutely. So I'm not flat out denying that the subconscious can't be traumatic. But differentiating real spirit trauma from mental anguish is a big thing. While Pandora and I were tormented by Lucien, I couldn't tell anybody. I was terrified to talk about it. I didn't even tell my parents what was happening in their own household because I feared what Lucien would do to me and to those whom I loved. One trend I see that happens to those who have subconscious thoughtform trauma is that they like talking about it. They like bringing it up, and they'll say it to practically anybody who asks. When people asked me what was wrong back in the day, I lied. I wasn't about to tell anyone that I had a spirit attacking me, because the very thought frightened me so much. People with no actual spirits attacking them continuously bring up what happens to them on a daily basis because they hunger for someone to know. They are indirectly looking for some way to pinpoint what's going on so that they can fix it, yet they don't know how, so they tell everyone under the sun to see if anyone can give them pointers. Yet they are so very confused upstairs that they don't even see that they are doing it to themselves.

It's a very sad situation, and yet it is so very common. But don't get me wrong--I feel for anyone who goes through trauma of any kind, be it subconsciously created to provoke stimulus or not. This blog is not to invalidate your trauma if you have it. Trauma is serious, despite where it comes from, and it’s never your fault. But whether your troubles are wrought by a spirit or not is for you, alone, to decide in the end.

~Lu

[giftofthemagi2]

“You’re Okay, Though, Right?”

Fuck, how am I supposed to answer that? You know, I used to have ways of keeping myself good, and that meant that doing them meant I was doing good. I don’t go walking for miles at 12:53 anymore. I ran out of energy and I don’t suffer through the frostbite on a highway. Why it’s been years since I had a conversation through a passing van window in a strange neighborhood before sunrise in my nightdress just because I woke up before the friend’s I crashed at. I just hit a point and now if I’m sad, I don’t go biking in twenty degree weather, I just cry for half an hour straight. I think it works, too, or it’s a work in progress, but it’s a hell of a lot harder and doesn’t yield a story. You know if you’re struggling with feeling known to yourself, it's good to give up the eccentricities, but letting go of the caricature can be scary too. It gets darker before it gets lighter and all that.

This is what I have left of myself: a few stories about me, a few stories about Lyndon B. Johnson and Zachary Taylor, a pretty solid mythology of “not feeling myself” hammered all the way out to 2015, and a partner who certainly knows something about me, not to say that that means I know it. And if he left, you know I know for certain I would go back to the caricature. Isn’t that fucked? I didn’t grow the last time I went through a breakup, I just got mean. Which is why he left me, ‘cause I was becoming mean. He used to love the way I treated other people. So now if [A], my majority witness, who I’ve poured myself into, was suddenly gone, I’d just give up on the new anarcho-narrative and write myself back into a reliable personality. Fuck dynamism. The air between the two trapeze terrifies me. I’m awfully cowardly for all those stories [B] tells, wouldn’t you say?

I am trying to open. I want to erase all the pretense. I want to see clearly, I want to see the people around me clearly. I want to be observant and caring. I want loving, purposeful, communicative friendships. I crave friendship so badly. I want trust. I want to be somebody people can trust, I want to listen to those close to me turn their head-pockets inside out. Which is why I constantly do the same, as if I can force reciprocity. You will know I’m doing better when I fucking talk less. I always do that when I’m performing instead of, like, being. Or I’ll shut up for forty minutes and punish everybody. At least, I used to do that. I don’t do that anymore but now I barely have an impression of my personhood outside my one best friend/lover, I really have no idea how the transubstantiation ends, if ever. I know exactly who I am in those conversations, and he knows me, there is a tremendous fullness in the invisible work I’m doing. I’m comfortable enough, comfortable as it’s possible to be, with being in this transition. But I don’t have a caricature anymore, and I’m not yet certain how to have an impression of myself without it. I need more friendships in more detail. About a year or more ago I started having a major crisis of not feeling real, and I made substantive progress in starting to have an honest witness again for starts, but the underlying issue has been continuing to mistrust my own perspective. The consequence is now I misconstrue observation with reality. I want to talk openly but I think my sense of equity is still slanted from being a selfish fucking asshole with [C] for two years straight. Honestly I blame that for everything, ask me anything about myself and I’ll start telling you about how I used to be a really bad girlfriend. Anyway so I sit there and if somebody doesn’t ask me how I am for an hour, I’ll be jumping out of my skin. I’m always deeply in my own head, but mostly with a dull buzzing. I am desperately wanting of talk therapy exorcism, but if somebody did ask me what was going on with me, I would just tell them that I wanted to talk about myself and nobody ever asks me how I am. That is why they don’t ask how I am. This is what I see in [D]’s eyes, this is my irony. I am so eccentric and so boring and if other people see it they hide it, but I know for certain he’s figured it out.

God, I hate myself if I think about the fall of 2015, I just cringe. I was so hopelessly infatuated and it made me annoying as shit because I was also deeply in pain and several kinds of denial. I wanted to stay up together all night every night and never talk about it, except I almost talked about it constantly. You cannot lust after somebody else’s forever, it has an effect. It leaves a stain. It was there in the air, and I let myself be something he put up with, because that was love to me. He should hate me. I just recently figured out that he doesn’t hate me and I still hate him half the time, and he wasn’t the one sinning in his heart. I don’t think. But that’s [D], that’s what he knows about me, that’s why his smile and his eyes say different shit, and he caught on so far ahead of me that it took more than a year for me to get it.

My aching hypocrisy is this: I am a habitual acquirer of people, I am a compulsive seeker of quirk, I surround myself with everything and everybody interesting and then I tell one story about a president’s dick over and over and over and expect everybody else to do the work for me. I was stone soup for so long, I was empty on the inside and that’s why nothing and nobody ever stuck. I was that bright, vacuous mind that gives you the heebiejeebies. I have got to start putting my brain-guts where my mouth is. I wanna vomit out something more than the formula of something to say. So I’m trying to do the work for real. I’m trying to read things just because I think they’re interesting, and I’m trying to clear out the hobbies and habits I held onto for show, and see what new stuff will grow. I’m trying to make a life, finally, because if you didn’t look close, you wouldn’t have noticed I didn’t have one.

I guess what I’m saying is, if you build it, they will come.