#like they beat Jesus in a poll that is so funny and also

[fandomfairyuniverse]

They created the Father Philip and Sister Daniel personas very jokingly and then proceeded to beat literal people from the Bible (two of the main people from the Bible no less) in a poll. Very funny and quite iconic 10/10

[pseudophan]

why do I get the feeling dnp wouldn't be putting the rpf poll so brazenly on their socials if the opponent was mclennon or any other uhh "serious" rpf. at the end of the day we must thank the jedus warriors for getting to the finals and making this possible

oh yeah definitely this is because it's funny to beat jesus. mclennon maybe, mostly because that would also get a lot of traction i think and it's like another iconic one, but more or less any other ship no way. so yeah thank you jedus people for this moment i suppose

[rpgbossthemebracket]

As I prepare to kick off the prelims, I need to resolve an issue with the main bracket itself. For the 64-slot bracket, I have 63 confirmed entrant franchises (half of which I've had to set up preliminary brackets/polls for, sweet jesus) and one edge case I'm not sure about. That edge case is Destiny, and while I said that MMORPGs count for the purpose of this poll, I meant that with the likes of FFXIV and WoW in mind. Destiny is more of a looter shooter with RPG elements, as I understand it, and while I don't have the firsthand experience to say whether I'd count it, the friends I've asked (and also Wikipedia) all say it doesn't.

That said, I still have one last slot to fill. Since I'm on the fence about what to do with it, why not democratize the process a bit?

I am willing to share the Destiny theme that was submitted, if that would affect anyone's choice here. Other things to note:

I'm already counting certain other edge cases like Disco Elysium and Binding of Isaac.

SMT only got one submission (somehow), which would affect its weighting if it stands on its own.

After seeing One-Winged Angel get into both the battle theme bracket and the final boss theme bracket, I'm not even sure Dancing Mad could beat it in the FF prelims.

Don't lie, you know it would be really funny if a YIIK song made it in.

I'll be posting the first prelims in a moment.

[spinachgarden]

With Somebody That I Used to Know nearing its end, I wanna do a lil poll I guess

So

Here are some current WIPs that I wouldn’t mind focusing on as my next major project (under the cut because this is a loooong post)

(also it’s me, and there’s excerpts from my writing below the cut, so 18+ minors DNI blah blah blah assume graphic depictions of violence and your standard spinachgarden fare)

let me know which (if any) you would like to see next so that I can start planning and prewriting like a RESPONSIBLE ADULT 

you say the whole world’s ending (honey it already did) (sambucky)

Excerpt from Chapter 1: 

“No,” Barnes interjects. “No, they’re all HYDRA, or Department X.”

It clicks, then, and Rhodes sighs. “People who made it instead of-”

“Don’t,” Barnes hisses. “You’re not here to psychoanalyze me, so don’t.”

“We think we can get them back,” Rhodes says quietly, and there it is. The carrot - he figures with Barnes, it’ll work a hell of a lot better than a stick. It’s dangling now, hanging between them as Barnes’ face - what little of it Rhodes can see - does something complicated. “All of them,” he adds, even though he knows Barnes only really cares about one.

“You don’t need me,” Barnes argues. “You don’t want a guy like me on your team. I’m not a hero.”

“Barnes,” Rhodes says softly, “the whole fuckin’ world could end, do you get that?”

“I don’t give a shit,” Barnes hisses. “Mine already did. Go find somebody else.”

Ashes (sambucky)

Excerpt from Chapter 1:

It does funny things to a person, being alone for so long. Sometimes he thinks he hears things that aren’t there - Bucky’s sweet voice, whispering encouragements to him. Sarah’s gentle peals of laughter, Cass and AJ’s small and curious voices. He sees them, too - whether it’s in his dreams or he’s just so far gone that he’s hallucinating, he’s not sure. If he focuses hard enough, he can still picture the soft curve of Bucky’s lips, the little smirk he saves only for Sam, the twinkle in his eyes. The images are hazy in his mind, and he wonders-

God, he wonders how long he’s been here that he’s forgotten his own lover’s face.

He finds that he does have enough spare water in him for a few tears. Just a couple.

Nothing to do but wait for the end, though. No point in crying about something he figured out a long time ago. If they don’t want anything from him, he won’t talk his way out of this. They aren’t listening, anyway. There’s no bargain, no ransom, no political move here.

There’s no purpose.

Untitled modern bucky fic (sambucky)

Excerpt from Chapter 1:

“Hey!”

He barely hears the voice over the sound of the wind, but he recognizes it immediately. It’s strange, because he didn’t hear a helicopter-

Oh.

Oh.

“Wilson?” he gasps, mostly to himself. Jesus Christ, it’s been years since he last saw the guy. 2005, maybe? That would mean three years, at least. A busy three years for Sam, by the look of things - he’s in some kind of experimental suit, that much he can tell, but in all honesty he’s not really sure what Sam is wearing, or how he’s fucking flying.

“Let’s get the hell out of here, man,” Sam says, cocky as ever, gliding easily down to set his feet on the snowy mountain top. “My Louisiana bones ain’t meant for this kind of cold.”

no grave can hold my body down (I'll crawl home to her) (buckynat)

Excerpt from Chapter 1:

He doesn’t scream when he hits the ground.

There’s a brief, blinding moment of painpainpain, agony so monumental that it overwhelms him, and then it’s just…

Gone.

There’s nothing.

He feels his heart stop beating, feels his lungs drag in one last, pitiful breath, and then he’s gone, fading away into nothingness.

He wakes up. His heart stutters back to life and his lungs suck in air, and the roaring agony comes back, back but worse. When he opens his eyes he sees that the sky has grown dark around him, and how is it possible that he died hours ago but is awake now, screaming and shivering in the snow?

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Welcome to Political Confessional, a column about the views that Americans are scared to share with their friends and neighbors. In an increasingly polarized political climate, adherence to party or ideological orthodoxy seems de rigueur. Social media serves only to amplify that perception at times.

But Americans’ political views are often idiosyncratic and sometimes offensive, and they rarely adhere neatly to any particular party line. In this column, we want to dig into Americans’ messy opinions on politics, morality and social mores. We hope that this exercise gives readers a glimpse into the minds of those with whom they might disagree — or agree! If you have a political belief that you’re willing to share with us, fill out this form — we might get in touch.

This week we talked with Jennifer, a 38 year old white woman from North Carolina who wrote in to say, “I am an evangelical Christian but I think Trumpism is actually, truly a religious cult.” She feels “horrified to watch most of my friends and family believe Trump is God’s chosen one … I feel like I’m living inside of the story “The Emperor Has No Clothes.” Am I the crazy one?! Why can no one in church see he’s naked!!!!!”

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Clare Malone: When did you come to this opinion and how?

Jennifer: It was leading up to the 2016 election. And it really was hearing the sound bites of the actual words coming out of Donald Trump. Now, it wasn’t certain talking heads or certain news programs. It was literally the quotes or the video clips of him speaking that were so offensive to me. I couldn’t imagine voting for him even though I’ve always been a Republican.

I would probably consider myself a little bit of a centrist at this point. I mean, I’m pro-life — like, babies being born but also refugee children being cared for. I think it’s hypocritical to be here for one and not the other. And I care about women in crisis too, I just don’t think that these issues need to be so dehumanizing for certain people to win power.

CM: Take me back to 2016. When did you start to hear people start to make justifications for Trump?

Jennifer: My friends were conflicted when he made the remark about grabbing a woman. But once he ended up winning, then I felt like people really started to justify voting for him.

It’s just weird in this polarized environment because I can’t call myself a member of the GOP anymore. I am not super liberal, but I definitely can’t go along with the leadership of the country right now.

CM: Why do you think they have started justifying his actions? Is it the news they watch? Is there biblical justification to say, “Sure, God has picked an imperfect vessel.”

Jennifer: I think part of it is people feel the need to be consistent. If you went ahead and voted for the person, you don’t want to feel bad about yourself, you want to come up with reasons to feel good about the fact that you voted for them. If you agree with the president, you’re going to say we should pray for him. The Bible tells us to pray for our leaders. But if there is a person in power who is not of your political party, do you show them the same grace? Do you pray for them as well? I feel like it’s this double standard which I don’t think is biblical. I think that’s just our human nature.

CM: How do you feel about that personally? How do you feel about Trump and forgiveness?

Jennifer: Well, if you want to talk about the Bible, I think the Bible requires repentance for God to grant forgiveness to people. And so I think I haven’t seen any true repentance in any of his actions. I would use scripture that talks more about how a wise man deals with a fool — there’s a verse that says if a wise man tries to reason with a fool the fool only rages and laughs.

CM: Would you say that the attitude of people in your community about Trump has changed the way that you feel about your church?

Jennifer: I’m confronted with this reality of like four out of five evangelicals voting for this man. And it’s like, are we seeing the same reality? It’s made me want to be careful what church I attend, and what programs I’m involved with, because I think this is going to have really long term, deeply negative effects on the American culture’s view of Christians. The challenge for me is to think about how this one person, Donald Trump, doesn’t dictate who Jesus Christ is. The challenge is to focus on Jesus himself.

CM: You said earlier that you’re pro-life in the sense of wanting babies to be born but you also care about refugee children. How have the kids-in-cages news stories been received in your community given that the Trump administration has been defending that policy?

Jennifer: I do have some friends who are troubled by that. But I also have friends popping up in my Facebook newsfeed defending those policies. I think that we have to almost dehumanize people in our view of them in order to justify. So, if you talk to someone who’s very liberal and talk about the issue of abortion, they’re going to say that’s not a baby. That’s not a person. And if you talk to conservatives about a child of an immigrant in a cage, they’re going to say, they’re not Americans. They don’t belong here. Their parents broke the law. They deserve this. They’re distancing themselves from that humanity, leading to them to look at those children differently than they would look at an American child.

CM: Are you thinking of yourself as a Democrat right now?

Jennifer: I’ve switched my registration to independent. I have been GOP my whole life. At this point, I really want to see how the polling is and throw my support to whoever seems most likely to beat Donald Trump.

CM: Have you brought up your controversial opinion to family members or people in the community who support Trump?

Jennifer: I find it really hard to break through. I have some friends that are more extreme than others, like a couple friends who are really talking almost like he’s almost a messiah of sorts.

CM: How have you dealt with it on an interpersonal level? Do you switch the conversation topic at a certain point?

Jennifer: My husband and I don’t agree about it. We’ve only been married a couple years. If things get too heated we table the discussion. I think sometimes it helps if I can share personal stories or ways that seem to affect me personally; like, if I can talk about how upsetting it is being a woman to hear the derogatory comments. It’s frustrating. You care about someone and you’re on different pages.

The funny thing is, I felt like I wasn’t that political of a person before 2016. But then I just felt so deeply offended by the attitudes towards women, towards minorities, the horrible things happening at the border. And I mean, to be honest, I just expect more of Christians. Because I am a Christian.

For me, the challenge is, how do I keep from villainizing or dehumanizing those that I disagree with? And I feel like that has to start with me.

[safflowerseason]

veep rewatch - 2.05

Season Two, Episode Five - Helsinki

aka - The One Where Selina Smokes 

“Look at you in your jammies!”

Mike: It’s like a math prison. They rape you with numbers. Mike’s colleague: What’s your voter registration ETA?” Mike: Imminent..al.

“If Mike were here he would have spent the entire flight scratching Lotto tickets and going Oh, so close…” A glimpse of Reid Scott’s truly psychopathic imitation skills.

“This isn’t a choice like my diet, it’s a necessity like my drinking.” 

“Don’t make any jokes, okay, Dan, because with your face and your attempt to be charming, it really does come off as…as evil.” Maybe this is why Dan never runs for office. 

“Hel-synchronized.” 

Kent: Your idea of crisis management is to scream We’re fucked, bury me! Ben: We’re fucked! Bury me!

I should probably out myself as a Minna-stan. I love Minna. I’m also a giant international politics nerd, so I love whenever she makes an appearance and I love whenever Veep ventures out of the domestic and onto the global stage. Sally Phillips is divinely hilarious and I could watch her and JLD play off each other for days. And I love how they satirize Finland and its in-between place between Scandinavia and Russia (speaking as someone with dual citizenship with the US and a Scandinavian country.) This is a Minna fan-blog now. Nothing but love for Minna here. 

Selina: We hope that when you come to our country, you will go fishing.  Minna: …because no one will feed me? 

Why is everyone pronouncing Sauron incorrectly? Soor-on? Are they Canadian? 

“Christ, I hate knowledge.” 

“How lovely. That hasn’t happened in Washington since 1835.” Selina, in response to Osmo kissing her hand.

Selina: So that song, unlike your career as Communications Director, will not die. So now you must go apologize for the apology. Dan: Yes, ma’am. Selina: Why are you still standing right here?

“We should keep this causing offense and then apology cycle going….You could step on my dress, I could sneeze in your drink…it’s funny.” Sally Phillips is a treasure. 

Danteeksi.

Kent to Sue: “Please accept the necessity of this as brute fact.”

Dan whining to Amy about his ill-fated career as Communications Director. It’s almost not quite believable how terrible he is at it, but fundamentally, I think it highlights his professional “boredom” that Amy mentioned in the previous episode…Dan’s slowly checking out of Selina’s office. He doesn’t really try to get back on the offensive with the multiple apologies thing, which seems singularly out of character. He doesn’t try to permanently become Selina’s new Mike. He’s a lot more concerned about how he looks this episode than how Selina looks, an indication that he no longer sees her image as VP and his professional reputation as intertwined, the way he used to. He’s getting ready to jump ship. 

I’m sure it’s been said on Tumblr before, but Selina’s horrified reaction to Osmo groping her totally belies her completely blasé attitude to sexual harassment and assault in S7. I understand what they were trying to do with the concept of Selina-the-ultimate-misogynist more broadly, but...I think this approach so much more compelling. JLD absolutely slays with her performance. It’s not that she’s unaware or dismissive of sexual assault in politics…it’s that she thought she was safe from that kind of violence now as VP of the United States. She thought that bullshit was behind her. 

Gary’s reaction to the grope is hilariously touching. “Okay…I’m going to go mess him up!”

Dan: Jesus, Gary, you look leukemic. Gary: I always do, that’s my look. 

Dan: POTUS groped you?! Selina: No, POTUS wouldn’t have the balls to grope me.  FWIW, Dan also grasps immediately the awful significance of Selina getting groped by the husband of the Finnish Prime Minister. Both things—POTUS lying about the spy and Selina getting groped—provoke equally dismayed reactions.

The scene of everyone talking over each other in the kitchen is really well done. I wonder how long they rehearsed it.

Gary: We need to rain down the full might of our nuclear arsenal on Finland. Selina: Oh yeah, that’s the other thing I forgot to tell you, Amy…we’re going to blow up Finland.

Doyle: I’m telling you, this is not just a crisis, this is…like ten years worth of Oliver Stone movies.  Furlong: Yeah, and not the good ones, not Platoon. 

Love that little beat of JLD taking a second glance at the giant blue painting of a female torso.

Amy: It’s not like we can go public about the grope, I mean, it would define you. Your tit being fondled by a Finn…it’d be all you’re remembered for! You can’t build a statue on that. Selina: Yeah, nobody can know about this. Especially Kent, and why is that? Because he’s going to use it against me. Grope matrix. *pause* Because he’s a man. Because, this is a man’s world that we live in. Because of the axis of dick.

This is an iconic speech. I quote it all the time.

It’s so significant that of the four people in the room, Amy and Selina immediately understand why they can never tell anyone what happened to her. As a woman, their conversation just resonates. In rewatching, I was thinking about of all the indignities women can never share with their male colleagues, for precisely the reasons Amy alludes…this episode really gets at the nuances of the issue, in a way that Selina gloating over how she used to be groped all the time does not. 

Anna Chlumsky’s formal styling is just A+ here…the dress, the hair, the makeup…everything. I wish they put her hair up more, but obviously her signature straight hair is a central part of Amy’s iconography. 

“It is a container…a testicle container?”

Amy leaning right into Dan to tell him about Kent’s polling data going viral. Like obviously she has to keep her voice down and make sure he hears her…but her cheek is practically touching his shoulder. I am just pointing out the visual facts, y’all.

Dan being all cute with his international fan club. 

Look how sweet Selina is with Gary in the credits scene! Of course, when she puts a hand on Gary’s shoulder, it immediately prompts Amy to ask if she’s okay. 

[theguardiansseries]

From the Beginning Chapter 4

Bonjour, mes chers! Sorry for such the long wait! I was getting back into school and my job and boy is life getting exhausting! Midterms just passed, however, so let's hope I can get a little bit of a routine going here again.

Make sure to follow this blog so you can stay up to date on the latest chapters and news about the Guardians series!

You can also join the group discord to talk about all things Guardians here at https://discord.gg/mnDVQXa.

If you’re willing, you can also pledge to me on Patreon where you can unlock polls, read chapters in advance, and even get links to the docs on stories I’m currently working on. There’s also a tier that will allow you to receive monthly physical copies of one of my completed works.

Don’t have the money to pledge monthly? Consider making a one time pledge by buying me a coffee on Ko-Fi. It’s basically Patreon without the monthly part of it. Every $25 I’ll be doing a giveaway so anyone who donated during that period will have a chance to win a published copy of one of my fanfiction works!

Click here to read on FFN Click here to read on AO3

Summary: Danny Fenton was a simple, sixteen-year-old teenager who loved fast food, video games, and getting a B on surprise pop quizzes. He’s also the half-ghost teenage hero Danny Phantom who defends Amity Park from ghost attacks on a daily basis. Somehow, the ghost attacks make a lot more sense than crushes, friendships, and falling in love with someone he is definitely not supposed to be falling in love with. It was a lot easier to separate Phantom and Fenton before, but now it’s getting harder the more he learns about himself. Just who was he? The dorky son of scientists who loved the stars or the hero that protected the town. He’s starting to feel like he won’t like the answer. (Iambic Prose) (Prequel to Guardians and Partial Show Rewrite)

<<First Chapter>> <<Last Chapter>><<Next Chapter>>

Chapter Four

::

“Have a good day at school!” Yelling back a garbled-out goodbye through whatever he had shoved in his mouth, Danny quickly made his way down the front steps of Fenton Works before running towards the school. As much as he would love to fly there, it was way too cold to even bother with this early in the morning.

God, winter break was both too short and too long, sometimes. It seemed like both minutes and lifetimes ago that Danny’s winter break was starting, and he had been trying to ignore the holidays with everything in him. Maybe he was under some Christmas curse and learning Ghostwriter’s lesson had finally broken it or something. Ugh. He’d have to wait an entire year to find out.

It felt like way too long since he had been back to school, though, and a small part of him was honestly looking forward to just hanging out with his friends and being a normal teenager – well, as normal as a teenager could get considering the ghost powers and everything.

Idly thinking on maybe going back to visit Ghostwriter when he needed help on his homework, Danny didn’t slow down his quick pace until he was getting close to the school steps, catching his breath as he felt every inch of happiness leave his body as he stared up at the now familiar building. He was definitely back at high school, at least.

“Incoming!” That loud cry was all the warning Danny was given before he suddenly had a best friend wrapped around his shoulders. Danny was eternally grateful for his ghost strength, because otherwise he and Tucker would both be collapsed in a pile of snow. “Danny! Buddy, pal, friend, chum, sport-”

“Who did you piss off and who are you hiding from?” Danny probably shouldn’t encourage Tucker’s crazy behavior, but it was hard to hold in laughter when Tucker was shifting and moving around him like a demented squirrel.

“Me? Piss someone off? Danny, please, come on. I’m the most likeable person in this entire school. I really don’t appreciate-”

“Foley!” Biting his cheek to stave off his laughter this time, Danny felt Tucker slap him on the back before he was given a crazy grin.

“And that’s our cue to get to homeroom!” With that, Tucker was pulling him along, Danny easily letting him as he kept an eye out for the color black. Somehow, even with him keeping an eye out, Sam still managed to sneak up on him enough to almost give him a heart attack.

“Jesus, Sammy, are you trying to make me use my ghost powers?” Danny accepted the hug anyways, getting a face full of a furry hood that was attached to a coat and had a sheen to it that made it look like it was forever stuck between being black and being purple. It was probably some fake fur made of human skin or something like that, too. “At least Tucker gives warning.”

“And I give you impromptu training. You’re welcome.” Damn. He really had missed these two. Like, yeah, okay, he hadn’t been that long since he had seen them, but still. “So, I believe you were catching us up on some ghostly poem drama last night before we ended the call?”

“Oh, yeah, right. There’s not much to it.” Danny used the rest of the walk to class to quickly explain the basics of what had happened over Christmas with the whole poem incident. When they dropped into their seats in homeroom, he was completely unsurprised to see that Tucker was holding back laughter and Sam was looking offended.

“A ghost messed with my memories? I mean, I’m glad the town didn’t really remember that mess and they don’t hate you again or anything, but is that why I can barely remember what I did over the holidays? Oh, that’s so-”

“Hey, hey, Ghostwriter isn’t all that bad.” At the look he was given, Danny gave a weak little shrug and half of a smile. “What can I say, I made a new friend. Doing the whole apology thing and spending time at that library probably made it the funnest winter break I’ve ever had.”

“Dude. Now I’m offended.” Tucker, very dramatically, held a hand to his chest. “You don’t count our winter breaks as fun?”

“Last winter break you almost had us thrown in juvie.” That had been an interesting one to explain if nothing else. It made kind of a funny story. At least, to them, it did, but not so much for their parents when they had picked them up at the local courthouse jail or whatever it had been. “You have your own category of fun.”

“I still can’t believe there’s a ghost out there that can control us all like that.” Leave it to Sam to stick to the heart of the matter. “Are we sure he isn’t going to do that again? I mean, we can barely even remember what he did.”

“You’ll probably be fine as long as you don’t piss him off,” Danny shrugged. “I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty good with never again angering the guy who can control reality, although Clockwork did mention there were limits to his powers.”

“It’s because he’d be overpowered, otherwise, and the universe knows that isn’t fair,” Tucker said solemnly. Danny was a little disappointed that Sam beat him to it when it came to kicking Tucker’s chair. “Hey! No kicking in class!”

“You don’t have any proof.” Sam crossed her arms and smirked at Danny. “Let’s get back to the true heart of this matter where you befriended a guy version of Jazz.”

“I did not!” Thinking on his week with Ghostwriter, though, and what he had learned about the guy, Danny supposed that maybe he kind of sort of maybe kind of had. “Shit. I totally did, didn’t I? Well, you know what, he might be a kind of friend, but he’s still annoying!”

“Hey, at least you have another ghost that isn’t out to hunt you down or kill you or anything.” Tucker finally got his chair perfectly straight before Sam nudged it just a bit to the left. “Dammit, Sam!”

“It is nice to have another friendly ghost on our side. Like, yeah, okay, he’s a little weird, but… He can actually be pretty fun.” Danny hadn’t thought discussing books could even be fun until he and Ghostwriter had almost destroyed a couch arguing about one of the books.

“Fun, huh?” Sam raised a single eyebrow which, really, how the hell did she even manage that? Danny bet she practiced it in the mirror. “I can tell since you spent an entire week with him.”

“Whoa, hey, no, I spent five days with him.” That didn’t really sound all that much better, but Danny was on thin ice to begin with.

“That’s a school week,” Tucker piped up. “It counts and there’s no way I believe that you were just ‘organizing books’ for an entire week at that place. Spill it. What else did you do over break?”

“Settle down, students.” At Lancer’s voice, Danny let out an explosive sigh and slumped in his seat. Thank God.

“I never thought I would say this, but thank God, class is starting.” Both his friends choked on a laugh, Danny smiling himself. It was nice for things to be normal, again. “Hey, wanna hit the mall after school?”

“Oh, hell yeah! I hear Techtopia has a sale going on.” Oh, Tucker. He would never change. “I’m sure there’s probably a deal going on at the Hot Topic there, too.”

“Please,” Sam snorted, looking toward the board at the front of the class before glancing back. “There might be a new year sale going on, actually.”

“Mall it is.” A little time to be just a normal teenager was just what the three of them needed. Besides, after ghost hunting, the mall was harmless as could be.

::

“Right. Note to self. The mall is never harmless.” Danny dragged himself out of the pile of store merchandise he had crashed into it and waved at the scared cashier at the counter. “Sorry about that. Send a bill to the mayor, I guess? Sorry!”

“None can stop the all-powerful Technus 2.0!” Oh, God, Technus was worse than ever before. Danny seriously might lose his mind if he had to keep this up for too long.

“Yeah, yeah, all hail the megadork. I seriously can’t believe your upgraded form is just you with a mullet. Where are you from, the eighties?” Dodging the electronic wires that came after him, Danny grinned at Technus and tried to make himself as annoying as possible. At least he was used to being used as a target, unlike everyone else here. “Ooh, did I hit a sore spot?”

“You will be the first to be crushed under my might, ghost child!” Eugh. That was probably the most annoying moniker he had yet. Well, he guessed his break really was over now. It had been nice while it lasted.

“Yeah, yeah, master of technology. Hey, you know what? It’d be more impressive if you actually ever managed to win!” Quickly dodging a blast of energy, Danny gulped as he felt the searing heat just barely brush his arm. God, he really needed to work on never getting hit by those because they hurt-

“Ah!” At the cry of pain, Danny quickly snapped his head around, eyes wide at seeing Valerie on the floor and sitting up with a hiss of pain.

“Oh, I’m gonna break you in half!” Feeling energy pour into his hands, Danny unleashed half a dozen blasts all at once, viciously pleased when most of them managed to hit Technus on at least some part of his body. “Well? You’re after a fight, aren’t you!”

So, alright, maybe Danny had the tendency to jump the gun and get too angry and protective and all that, but he was trying to keep the ghostly stuff away from his friends! They shouldn’t have to worry about stuff like this when he was supposed to be here taking care of it!

“C’mon, Technus! You wanted a fight, didn’t you?!” Readying more energy, Danny narrowed his eyes when he saw Technus looked intrigued. That was never a good look. He would know, too, after growing up with scientists his entire life.

“Interesting.” Technus’ gaze flickered to Valerie and Danny was attacking again at once. The last thing he wanted was for ghosts to put together that Valerie was the Red Huntress. They were less forgiving on ghost hunters than they were on him. “Oh, don’t worry, ghost child, I haven’t forgotten about you.”

“Dude, could you sound any more like a super villain?” Dodging the wires that snapped for his ankles, Danny grunted as he was hit with a blast strong enough to send him crashing into a huge stack of boxes and god that fucking hurt. Pushing himself up and catching his breath, Danny frowned when he saw he had changed back. “Ugh, why do you never work when I need you to?” Stupid powers.

“Danny?” Freezing at the voice, Danny blinked up at seeing Valerie looking down at him with raised eyebrows and, yeah, right. Phantom crashed and Fenton appeared. Right.

“Ah, hi, Val. So, uh, hey, those ghosts gone yet? I was trying to find Sam and Tucker and suddenly boxes were falling on top of me.”

“Yeah, they’re both gone.” Valerie gave a laugh and held her hand out, Danny smiling as he let himself be pulled to his feet. If nothing else, Valerie had a nice laugh. “You okay?”

“Just another day in Amity Park, I guess.” Danny gave Valerie a quick once over, relaxing when he saw that she was just fine. Technus’ blast didn’t seem to do any real harm to her, which, good. “You good? I saw you go down from that one ghost’s attack or whatever it was.”

“Knocked off my feet, I guess, but I’m good.” Valerie’s smile seemed to soften before she suddenly stepped back and dropped Danny’s hand and oh, yeah, that- Huh. He had forgotten they were even holding hands in the first place. “So, uh, you were looking for your friends?”

“Yeah- Yeah. I was. Sam and Tuck. My friends.” Danny really wished he could clone himself some days, just so he could slap himself. He just was never sure how to act around Valerie some days. She was kind and sweet and friendly and had a pretty sharp wit and she was also a ghost hunter who absolutely hated his guts with everything in her.

“Right.” Valerie looked away and Danny was about to move before he heard her clear her throat with a rough cough. “So, um… You’re good at Chemistry and everything, right?”

“What?” At the dry and sour look he was given, Danny gave a slow nod. “I mean, yeah? I usually get by with a low A or sometimes a high B. Why?”

“I was wondering if maybe we could meet up in the library some time and you could run me through a few things? Petricoff is making it way harder than it needs to be.”

“Ugh, I know, tell me about it.” Danny loved science, don’t get him wrong, but that demon that taught the science classes as Casper was pure evil. She probably really was a demon. Danny wouldn’t have been surprised. “But, uh, yeah, sure, I can help.”

“Great. Exchange numbers?” Valerie was already holding her phone out with a new contact pulled up, Danny fumbling to do the same with his own before they swapped. “Thanks. I know I haven’t been the nicest friend lately.”

“We all have our rough spots. I mean, it is high school.” Was he alive? Did Technus’ last hit kill him? Because he was exchanging numbers with one of the more popular girls in school and she was honestly smiling at him.

“Tell me about it,” Valerie laughed, taking her phone back and tossing Danny’s to him. It was a close save to keep it from dropping, Danny slumping in relief as Valerie laughed. “Hopefully having scientist parents pays off.

“Yeah.” Okay, so, yeah, maybe Valerie was the Red Huntress and all that, but she was still pretty amazing, and she actually seemed to like Danny. That alone was an impossible miracle considering the only people who had ever really liked him in his entire school career was Tucker and Sam.  

“So, hey, do you need to meet up with your friends right this second, or do you maybe wanna grab a bite to eat real quick? I was about to grab something before the whole dick measuring fight took place.”

Choking on a laugh, Danny silently nodded as he followed Valerie back towards the food court. Sam and Tucker would be okay for a while yet, and, well, maybe it was time to move on from his puppy crush on Paulina. Valerie’s dad had taken her suit away after that whole Pariah mess, after all, so Danny would be perfectly safe dating a ghost hunter.

Heh. Dating. It was the time for New Year’s Resolutions and all that Jazz stuff. Maybe he could make a resolution to try a little bit harder to be a normal teenager. Sure, he should probably be worrying about Technus getting away, but he could let his parents handle it or something. They were the professional ghost hunters, after all.

“You know what, Val? Grabbing a bite to eat sounds great right now.” Food did sound pretty great but being just an average Amity Park teenager sounded even better.

“You’re pretty chipper all of a sudden. Should I worry about you being possessed by a ghost or anything?”

“Nope. Just possessed with some good company.” Grinning at Valerie’s startled laugh, Danny felt something in him relax.

A little time as a normal teenager was just what this new year could use.