#like there's just ... there's this Specific flavor of like ... fucked up parent-child dynamic that i'm trying to capture here

[hideyseek]

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

tagged by eru @forerussake mwahhhhhh thank u !!!!!!! it's just past the weekend but here's a little bit more from the frustration fic, which is a fun (for me) glimpse into zhao yunlan's dynamic with his dad in his early days as sid chief, pre-drama canon:

“--but there are other people’s lives on the line in this job, Yunlan,” his father is saying now, fierce and quiet, the way he gets sometimes. “You can’t be sloppy with the things that have been entrusted to you anymore. You’re an adult now, and you need to act like it.”  Zhao Yunlan’s ribs ache. He wants a smoke. He wants to fall asleep for the next twenty hours, and wake up to his mom’s home cooking. He opens his eyes again. His father sighs, short and sharp. “Yunlan, I know you find all this lecturing tiresome. I don’t want to do it either — there are other important things that my time is needed for. But the Special Investigation Department has a reputation to uphold, and I can’t bear to see that reputation tarnished because I convinced Lao Zhang that handing the reins over to my son wouldn’t be a bad decision.”  As if Zhao Yunlan wasn’t already trying to prove that it wasn’t, with every piece of himself that he could scrape together. He pushes off the wall. “Look, dad, I get the message. Do better next time, loud and clear."

tagging: @crehador @iamanonniemouse @zrllosyn @frogiwi @strangegeology @evolutionsbedingt @motionalocean if you'd like!!!

[specialgradefckr]

Right now I’m just passing through cause I came across one of your fluffier fics, but I gotta say, I LOVE how fucked up your fucked up content is.

Idk why, but coming across something and then having a definitive moment of just “this was not meant for me” or “I’m gonna need to be in a very specific mindset for this” makes me feel good. I think it’s cause seeing people be unabashedly doing their own shit makes me happy, even if I don’t get it.

BUT ALSO, (the ones I did read as I was figuring out if I vibe or not) are so gd interesting especially the ones where Gojo has a twin! Cause you’re doing something that, according to cliche, should’ve made him “better” (using that term very loosely here)

Cause so much of Gojo’s character and his flaws are defined by his isolation, giving him a sibling, even better a sibling who is there every step of the way, should be the better option right!?

NO! He’s just a different flavor of fucked up now, enmeshment, emotional/physical incest, codependency.

And even within in that you’ve gone different routes. she’s his sole reason for compliance, for meaning. She’s always been there and always will be, so why should he worry about her? “He loves her like he loves air, always certain it will be there when he needs it…” FUCK—-!

It expresses an interpretation of the character I very much appreciate, even if seeing it explored is something I need to be in a certain headspace for.

Keep fucking and keep it fucked! 🤘

omg the maturity. the style. the grace. may every internet goer have even a fraction of your mental prowess because it really do be like that!!!

like. not every fic is for everyone, and even for the people a fic is for, it's not for them at every time. even i, who regularly writes noncon/emotional manipulation/toxic shit and worse, i've got a few fics i like but i can't always read it,,, i have to be in the right mood

i really appreciate this sentiment too!! bc ngl i have a lot of like. niche stuff going for me. i have very particular desires and tastes and my inspiration can be so fickle and fleeting that i just. grasp onto every idea i get. i've learned to follow my passion, bc otherwise, the passion dries up, you know?

in fairness to twincest!gojo, he's experiencing a different childhood from canon gojo. canon gojo was ostensibly spoiled (although taken away from his parents), but he ran away from home often, and he became very emotionally stunted and lonely. he's also sort of a huge dick in high school too sfjhglshdfg.

twincest!gojo seems like an equally shitty person because you're seeing him in the context of relationships. but twincest!gojo is actually a bit more slutty bubbly and friendly than canon!gojo - i think canon!gojo never slept with geto, but this twincest!gojo knows how fulfilling and comforting intimacy can be, and he's not afraid of rejection because he always has someone to fall back on.

but you're right in that it makes him worse in different ways - he literally kicks your parents out when they want to be real parents to the only child that they might actually be allowed to raise. he's possessive and wildly entitled in ways canon!gojo never got to be.

he really does always just expect you to be there. in his mind, the struggles you have - being in his shadow, the only significance of your life being how much he cares about you, the fear of being abandoned - they literally don't even exist. he doesn't know about them at all.

but even he can see your world getting bigger, just as his is. he can feel adulthood pulling on him, life is changing, and he's afraid of that. he never grew up - never learned emotional regulation, never learned how to actively empathize with others, because you did that for him without him asking - like an accessory organ.

nothing stays the same forever. but i'm still contemplating the different ways it can go so stay tuned,, whenever you're feeling up to it! i'm really glad i got this much thought out of you, the twincest dynamics were so fun to write!

[lemonellaaaat]

trying to get better at rambling here please bear with me LMAO

okey. so I've had the idea for an oc (and also an entire world) bouncing around my skull for literally YEARS at this point and I got sad that I hadn't done much so!

I've decided to call the story 'Scarred Hands and Battered Hearts' because I think it sounds cool idk (also so I had something to tag it as) I don't really know WHAT I want to do with it yet because as much as I'd love to make it a webcomic or animate bits or do anything, I also know myself and my lack of motivation :'')

anyways I just really like the tagging system here even though I don't really know how to use it effectively for much but I want to use it to be able to ramble about things (like my ocs or aus) and still have it all in one place

none of this is complete/set in stone but here's what I have in my notes app rn

This is kind of an overview of the main character and names and stuff. The basic premise is superhero/supervillain world except the biggest baddest villian is actually a depressed teenager

Also a note: the only reason I even have a deadbane for him is because I started this idea before I picked a new name but after I realized what flavor of transgender I was, and it was really important to me to have a very trans character that doesn't have a new name yet. I don't think I'll ever "reveal" his deadbane or anything because. gross and also transphobia. But I wanted something to flesh out his character and be consistent

I started figuring out a timeline and this is it rn

two notes for this:

1. When I say "see" atoms I imagine it to be similar to when you can see dust in the light. It's something you can definitely see if you look for it, but it's also easily enough to look past

2. "Bird guy" is also "SUPERHERO" I just haven't the faintest idea what I want his name to be yet. He'd be the #1 hero but also just like. A middle-aged guy who genuinely wants the best for people (and struggles with the inevitable corruption with heros)

I want him to have wings,,, and have him do random bird habits like chirping y'know the like :3

My og plan for wren's design was to have him in a plage doctor's mask and thus he is bird aligned and the hero will have to fight his instincts (expecially after seeing how young Wren is)

Eventually I realized I don't fucking know how to draw a plauge doctor's mask (and I still don't) so now he has goggles and a gas mask (both if which I love drawing)

I still want to have the hero compare Wren to a baby bird at some point but I'm not sure how

Side note but Bird hero man is gay!! He's gonna be uselessly pining after a different guy and Wren is going to be a little shit and try to set them up (post bonding arc and while complaining about now understanding romance (he's aroace))

It's insane how much if their dynamic I have planned out without even having figured out one of their names 😭 I fear I'm doomed

Actually another thing. I don't fucking know how big of an explosion splitting a singular atom would cause. I don't know if that's something that's reasonable for a young child to survive.

A lot of the chemistry in this is kind of made up because it's so specific it's hard to research 😭 I may be in two chemistry classes as I type this, but they're not preparing me for this

Uhhhh not really sure if I have much more to say? I'll link his Pinterest which is kind of a mess because there's like. 4 very distinctive styles I have in mind for him and none of them blend well

One being how he'd be dressed, like by his parents. So very fem and covering. Second is how he dressed his self while out, more masc. Third is what he'd wear casually around the house, with no care about it being reveling (for hiding his scars wise I don't remember if I mentioned that) and the fourth would be his villian getup

Also his Spotify playlist (random songs that remind me of his)

I have so many animatics in mind I'm suffering so bad

oh also! The only art I've ever done for this was a ref sheet for Wren but it's bad, old, and not actuate (I hated it from the moment I finished it :/) but I've been working on a new ref for him the last little bit and I'm so excited it looks so cool

I'll try to finish it within the next week or two 🫡

Think the ramble NEEDS to be over now because it's after midnight and I have school tomorrow lol I'm so normal about all of this I think I need to be lobotomized /silly