#like there's just ... there's this Specific flavor of like ... fucked up parent-child dynamic that i'm trying to capture here

[hideyseek]

✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

rules: post 7 sentences/a snippet of an unfinished work

tagged by eru @forerussake mwahhhhhh thank u !!!!!!! it's just past the weekend but here's a little bit more from the frustration fic, which is a fun (for me) glimpse into zhao yunlan's dynamic with his dad in his early days as sid chief, pre-drama canon:

“--but there are other people’s lives on the line in this job, Yunlan,” his father is saying now, fierce and quiet, the way he gets sometimes. “You can’t be sloppy with the things that have been entrusted to you anymore. You’re an adult now, and you need to act like it.”  Zhao Yunlan’s ribs ache. He wants a smoke. He wants to fall asleep for the next twenty hours, and wake up to his mom’s home cooking. He opens his eyes again. His father sighs, short and sharp. “Yunlan, I know you find all this lecturing tiresome. I don’t want to do it either — there are other important things that my time is needed for. But the Special Investigation Department has a reputation to uphold, and I can’t bear to see that reputation tarnished because I convinced Lao Zhang that handing the reins over to my son wouldn’t be a bad decision.”  As if Zhao Yunlan wasn’t already trying to prove that it wasn’t, with every piece of himself that he could scrape together. He pushes off the wall. “Look, dad, I get the message. Do better next time, loud and clear."

tagging: @crehador @iamanonniemouse @zrllosyn @frogiwi @strangegeology @evolutionsbedingt @motionalocean if you'd like!!!

[a-traveling-void-human]

AAAHH YOUR ANSWERS BRIGHTEN MY DAY SOMEHOW!! Thankyou for understanding and giving this answer! I wasn't sure that you would answer this ask of mine but you answering nonetheless makes me very happy!

this will be a long reblog so imma put a read bellow thingy

I could relate with the things you said about the Bakugou's family dynamics. I'll just headcanon in my brain that their family is not a toxic one but one that is neglectful when it comes to emotional needs. Katsuki is honestly well provided physically in my eyes. His hobbies with drums makes me think that his parents is well enough people that they'll sent their kids to have a musical courses- (I was also given the opportunity to have singing and piano lessons as a child before we don't do it anymore.)

I honestly don't like how some HC handle Mitsuki as a parent that sounds worst than Endawhore. Please Katsuki's self baggage is already very bad and now adding on a shit parent like The bastard™ will just makes things worst. I think Katsuki's whole behavior didn't only come from his mom (I mean I also think that it came mostly from his mom but I digress.) I like to think that Katsuki is just, Katsuki. A flawed person who tries to be good despite what other people say and I like that about him! He and Izuku are my babies and I love them!!

In my eye, their family dynamics is better than mine (that's also me projecting but) like I think Katsuki grew up with parents that genuinely talk to each other (despite the yelling) but I doubt that they talk about feelings as parent to son. It's honestly hard for me to talk about my feelings with my parents since I was a child and it's even worst now. Thanks for understanding and answering this ask in a very thoughtful way, I appreciate it! And your thoughts are more coherent than mine so don't apologize for that!

And I'm glad you ask about my fav fics!!

I've been really want to talk about it for a while now.

Zero-Verse Series

I am currently re-reading this fic recently after knowing that the fic is not being discontinued, just very slow development. This fic is really good trust me! It's honestly very fun to read through Katsuki's POV most of the time (there is side stories but I mostly only focuses on the BKDK aspect of this story.) Its premise is very new to me! I never read or heard soulmates AU going to a direction like what the writer does (I never really explore soulmate au stuff so-) AND GOSH IT'S NICE TO HAVE THEM AS CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS AND OP AS FUCK-

Though I wish the fic also focuses on Izuku more. The fic does focus on Izuku, but I wanted more.. My boy. My only complaint about the fic is that I want to see more of Izuku. Just that tbh and- uh- the fic really gives me a lot of older HC of this AU and I really want to read them in a specific time and place and ugh.. go away unholy thoughts. Please don't ratio me- I am very curious with them in this AU specifically.

Promised Kept

I.. I honestly love BKDK having some codependency issues with each other and CAN YOU BLAME ME?!? They went through so much! I can't imagine them not being affected to some degree when it comes to each other. The fic despite being explicit is really nice! It's mostly fluffy goodness and Ugh I love it so much..

surprise reunions and childhood rekindling

I love this flavor of BKDK. Like- LOOK AT THEM BEING CHAOTIC!! I can't say much other than this fic was one of the first few fics I've read that gave me cavities.

A picture will last for eternity (how about us?)

This one.. This one is beautiful. I can't say much but

Hidden Messages

Another flavor of BKDK I love. WHEN BKDK HAD SOMETHING UNIQUE WITH EACH OTHER THAT ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND IS MY FUCKING SHIT AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH!! (i ignore the ending because ehe)

nothing's gonna hurt you, baby.

Lmao this one is just plain old funny. I love unserious Yandere bkdk or mutual possessiveness between the two!

9:47.13

Also very funny. Hanahaki AU needs more stories like this where the trope didn't take each other seriously!!

We're both freaks (and that's okay)

This fic is also just fun! I don't like what they did to Ocha but It's not that bad and I kinda understand the reaction.. Kinda.

Anatomy of a Power Couple

The Time Between Our Lives

Something about BKDK being both freaks, feral or just intense in their own way gives me the WHFJKEKFKEKGKR feeling you know?? The feeling of their obsession gives me AAAAAAAAAAA feeling!! I love it!

you and me, always forever

TW: BODY HORROR AND CODEPENDENCY TO A DEGREE WHERE IT'S VERY CONCERNING!!

I can't explain why, but this fic really.. It really stuck onto my brain. I already like codependency fics and some morbit fics but THIS ONE. This one makes me think of the word chunk for 3-5 business days. It's.. Morbidly sweet and I love that so fucking much!!

I can't explain how good this one is.. Like- something about them being stuck somewhere together and dealing with issues together is so UGH!!! i think all of my reaction to bkdk is like this tbh

Reset and Rewind

I never thought that I would like time travel or time loop AU until I got obsessed with BKDK. Like god damn this fic is GOLD. Though the angst is so.. AAAAAA-

Once a Nerd, Always a Nerd

I genuinely love this fic and I can't wait for more! I really love the idea that BK is just seeing Izu like.. "I want to protect you so fucking bad" kind of Bk. I LOVE ME BK RIVER ANGST-

The Way You Used To Do

Of course. This fic is high up there in terms of Kudos! And I doubt that anyone in BKDK spear of fandom doesn't know this fic or at least hasn't heard of it at all

Fire Lily

I say that Fire Lily's is better than Fts

ANYWAYS- I love the world building for this one! I still really don't like the idea of BK being a matcho kind of guy but this one has a pass cuz at least bk don't fuck anyone when he's on seen-

What The Fuck Did You Just Call Me?

I love when Fics explore the side of BKDK where DK don't call Kacchan, Kacchan anymore- like I've said it on a post before that I love it when DK calls Kacchan Kacchan- I love the name Kacchan! Kacchan and Deku forever!!

Aight imma continue with my midterms.. I already typed too much

I can honestly list more than this. I believe that I've read atleast 400~ fics of BKDK already and I'm not kidding.. Though, some fics I just drop immediately if I don't like it so I doubt that the number is actually 400.. It might be more. I've been reading BKDK fics nonstop ever since May and I may have slowed down with the reading, but it doesn't mean I've stop completely.

I should make a list of BKDK fic I like or something- But what ever- This is just BKDK fic. I also like Gen fics too and I already talk about those fics in this post.

Hey puff, it's me again!! First of all, I want to offer you my favorite fic of BK to you as an offering.

Second of all- I read through your Puff ask tag again and I was enjoying myself until the part of the ship war pops up. I'm really sorry for anyone who had genuinely got fried due to the fandom spaces being hostile. For my younger fandom experience, I didn't really get into MHA fandom much as a child. I have a fixation over Katsuki and that's that. I wasn't as obsessed of BKDK until 5 months ago because of college and needed something to fill my brain. Then bkdk ended up filling that brain.

Third of all, and what I want of your in depth opinion of is Mitsuki. I'm born in the southeast asia (what country, you can guess lmao) and when ever I actually look at Mitsuki, she remind me of my own mother. She's loud, she hits me as a child and mostly discipline me like how Katsuki is being treated. I always thought it was wrong kind of because I know I was kind of different from the other kids, (in a sense that I have problems mentally and never did get unchecked). Unlike Katsuki, I can't just yell back- and when I talk about this to other family members, they just say that it's normal. My dad is also kinda like Masaru.. just, more distant. Lmao my parents fight all the time that seeing them interact normally felt like something is wrong.

When I see Katsuki and Mitsuki interact I kind of see them having a flawed, but happy nonetheless family in some kind of way. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I can't help but think in some kind of way that yelling might be another form of affection for them(?) Every family have another language for affection right?.. I'm not sure anymore.

So what I'm getting from this is like.. I don't, understand what counts as Abusive or Not. I'm getting better to understand that what my mom did to me as a child is the result of her punishing my misbehaving ass but was it really necessary to hit and scream at me? I'm not really sure. You don't have to answer this ask. I don't want to justify Mitsuki's actions but I also think that she does care about Katsuki. She's just, not good at parenting.

Sorry for the venting kind of ask, I just want to know the line honestly. It's kind of hard to understand where the lines are when you're buried in said line.

It’s not weird at all, I’m sorry for taking so long to respond to this. I wanted to find the time to give a meaningful response when I wasn’t busy.

I think the bnha fandom is the first time I’ve been in a hostile fandom space, but I’m grateful to have found a corner of the internet with minimal hate. But I relate really hard to bkdk filling my brain when I became overwhelmed with college. They became a great escape for me and now two and a half years later, they filled my mind again when I’m going back to college lmao.

My opinion of Mitsuki is kind of in shades of gray… I’m not Asian, however I am a person of color with one of my parents having been an immigrant and she really reminds me of my mother too.

On one hand, she upset me by blaming Katsuki for All Mights retirement and when I realized that it was probably a trend throughout his childhood, it upset me even more, mainly because I related to it. Being told that everything you do is wrong and feeling like you’ll never be good enough for your parents approval, hurts. I don’t care if Katsuki is tough, I know that shit hurt and had a big impact on who he grew up to be.

Having said that, I do kind of appreciate that Katsuki is able to defend himself to some degree without any real punishment. I like that Mitsuki lets him feel angry without shaming him for it, but I also feel like she kind of ignores his feelings, and the fact that she never addressed them and even encouraged him, also effected how he grew up to view himself. He saw himself as someone who’s praised blindly while thinking that he’ll never be good enough for the expectations he set for himself due to his mother degrading him. We’ve never really seen either of his parents celebrate his accomplishments like we’ve seen with other characters so I think his parents don’t really congratulate him because success is what they expect from him. They make more of a big deal out of his losses and faults than anything else.

I try to see them as a happy family as well, but I think that’s just me projecting. Because if their family isn’t happy, then what is mine?

I know for some people yelling and hitting playfully is a form of affection, me included, but it took me a while to realize that there’s a difference between playful fighting and actual fighting. Because, like you, my parents used to fight a lot and as a kid I just began to associate that with love (which probably explains my shit show of a love life lmao).

Again, this is probably just me projecting, but i don’t think I’d use the word “abusive” to describe this kind of family dynamic, especially since it’s basically customary for most children of color to grow up in a similar strict environment. It’s definitely not ideal, but I think it does have a lot to do with culture and generational trauma. I’m sure Mitsuki’s parents weren’t much different.

Where the line is, is up to you ultimately but I think there are certain lines of respect that shouldn’t be crossed for anyone, as just basic human decency. Hitting you, blaming you for things that aren’t your fault, taking away your ability to defend yourself, are lines that are the same for everyone in my eyes. No one should put your hands on you, no one has a right to take away your voice, and no one has a right to make you feel like you’re less than them. I don’t recommend yelling back, but I hope you can find the voice to stand up for yourself on day. Good experiences with parents doesn’t make the bad experiences go away, nor does it justify their bad treatment.

I’m sorry for the winded response, idk if I make any sense because I’m stuck in that cycle myself and didn’t start to realize until more recently what’s bad and what’s good when it comes to family. I hope I didn’t upset or offend you.

To ease the tension, um… I’d like to know what your favorite fic is!