#like there's a possibility their serving period might be altered considering the same has happened for other influential korean men

[chateautae]

https://at.tumblr.com/chateautae/the-government-refused-to-exempt-the-boys-because/pa1wcb8ilo7d

Anon what do you mean if the gov accept it? What do you think will happen? Of course they don’t want to lose money so idk?…. 😭

A question for you original anon!! But ugh yes there are just so many unclear things for now, I hope things smooth over soon and us and the tannies can just be at peace with this 💜

[citylightsbooks]

Presidential Election Crisis 2020: An Interview with Alan Hirsch

Alan Hirsch is the author of A Short History of Presidential Election Crises. Interview conducted by Greg Ruggiero, editor at City Lights Publishers.

***

In what ways has the 2020 presidential election been unprecedented?

The pandemic led to exponentially greater use of mail-in voting.  And because some state legislatures refused to authorize the counting of absentee votes before Election Day, the process of counting votes (never mind re-counting them) has taken longer. Also, because voting by mail was primarily by Democrats, President Trump was way ahead in several critical states on Election Day, only to see Biden come roaring back—fueling Trump’s claims of fraud.  Of course, Trump created this situation by discouraging his base to vote by mail. 

This election has also been unprecedented in the sense that one of the candidates was complaining about fraud months before Election Day.

On November 10, 2020, the New York Times reported "President Trump, facing the prospect of leaving the White House in defeat in just 70 days, is harnessing the power of the federal government to resist the results of an election that he lost, something that no sitting president has done in American history,” and that Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said, "There will be a smooth transition to a second Trump administration.”

What concerns should these unprecedented developments be raising?

In context, it appears that Pompeo was joking, but it's a scary joke that seems to reflect the denialism among the Trump administration and many of his supporters.  This is frightening and unprecedented.  One major difference between this situation and the post-election crises of 1876 and 2000 is that, in those situations, the incumbent president was not one of the candidates.  Here, we have a defeated president who is nevertheless fighting for a second term.  Will he abuse the office to make that happen?  This is the man with the armed forces and nuclear codes at his command.  

What is your assessment of President Trump’s news conference on November 5, his statement of Nov 7, and his ongoing insistence that he, not Joe Biden, has won the 2020 Presidential election “by a lot”?

It is mind boggling, and that’s understatement.  The new conference started with his false claim that he won the election, and went downhill from there.  The President apparently considers “legal” votes and “illegal” votes as synonymous with Trump votes and Biden votes respectively. 

The big lie at the heart of Trump’s complaint is that he had Pennsylvania and other key states easily won until the suspicious onslaught of Biden votes.  The only reason for both Trump’s huge lead and Biden’s big comeback was the fact that Democrats voted largely by mail and most Republicans voted in person.

What would happen if Trump refuses to accept the election’s outcome and refuses to leave? 

Fortunately, the winner of this election seems fairly clear, and no recounts or lawsuits seem likely to change the outcome.  If Trump refuses to leave, he will presumably be escorted from his office—by force if necessary.   

It’s not often taught that the Electoral College was a compromise the North made with the South. In the process, white slave owners were able to count each black person they enslaved as 3/5 a person, and thereby gained greater representation in the Electoral College.

The legacy of that compromise continues to distort our democracy today. As Wilfred Codrington III writes in The Atlantic, “The South’s baked-in advantages—the bonus electoral votes it received for maintaining slaves, all while not allowing those slaves to vote” made the difference in the election outcomes.  In some ways, Trump’s 2016 victory was a direct result of baking white supremacy into the electoral process.

Given this history, are there any civic arguments to keep the Electoral College?

The argument one hears most often is that the Electoral College protects the interests of small states.  The senate protects the interests of small states (since every state, even the least populated, gets the same two senators), and no one proposes abolishing the senate.  It is argued that, without the Electoral College (ensuring that even the tiniest state has 3 electoral votes), candidates would never visit small states.  This gets things backwards.  Without the Electoral College, candidates would have at least some incentive to campaign in all states.  Because of the Electoral College, they spend almost all of their time in a handful of swing states (whether or not small).

How might Trump’s lawsuits succeed in altering the election outcome?

It appears that he would need to reverse the outcome in several states.  In other words, he’d need three or four Bush v. Gores, and even that doesn’t capture the desperation of his situation.  Florida in 2000 was essentially a tie, and the legal arguments on both sides had at least some merit.  Trump has offered no semi-convincing reason why the outcomes in any of the close states should be reversed. 

In addition to litigation, might there be other routes Trump could take to derail the election result or attempt to stay in power?

The one being pushed by Trump allies is to try and convince Republican legislatures in several states to substitute a Republican slate of electors for the Democratic slate that was chosen in the election.  After all, the Constitution empowers state legislatures to choose the “manner” in which electors are chosen. The problem for Trump is that these electors did choose the manner—popular elections.  They can’t just substitute their will for that of the people because they don’t like the result.

Outlandish as it may sound, could Trump somehow use an act of war or claim of insurrection to maintain power? After all, he threatened to use the Insurrection Act in June 2020.

He can try, but there’s no legal basis or precedent for a president remaining in power after his term was over. 

Of the past presidential election crises, do any resemble the situation we are in now?

It resembles both 1876 and 2000 in that the election came down to a few states with narrow margins.  And, like 2000, recounts and litigation will extend the period of uncertainty.  But the Biden margins appear to be large enough that we will probably avoid the chaos that ensued after those elections.  

Can you go into more detail about parallels between the current moment and the election crises of 1876 and 2000? What form did corruption take then? How might it manifest now?

As the 2020 post-election crisis unfolds, we must learn from history—specifically the presidential election chaos in 1876 and 2000.  In each of these three elections, the outcome came down to one or more disputed states.  Most history books claim the 1876 election was resolved by a fifteen-man commission that voted along party lines.  In truth, Democrats were prepared to ignore the commission’s determinations, and the threat of duel inaugurations and another civil war loomed ominously.  The resolution came only when Republicans assured Democrats in Congress that, if they went along with Rutherford B. Hayes’s election, would cease implementing Reconstruction.  The nation paid a terrible price for the backroom dealing.  In 2000, the election was resolved by the Supreme Court – with five conservative Justices intervening to assure the election of George W. Bush.

Today, both of these threats are present—political deal-making and/or a partisan Supreme Court could determine the outcome.  There are additional parallels to 1876 and 2000 that need to be explored.  In both 1876 and 2000, as in 2020, the election took place against the backdrop of voter suppression.  In 1876 and 2000, like today, there were calls for state legislatures to intervene and nullify the results of their state’s popular vote.  In 1876, states sent competing slates of electors that Congress had to choose between.  Today, the possibility of competing slates of electors cannot be ruled out.  Ditto the threat of the conservatives on the Supreme Court intervening.  

To prevent these destructive outcomes, we need to understand how things unfolded during the prior election crises.

In your latest book, A Short History of Presidential Election Crises, you write: “Abolition of the Electoral College would reduce but not eliminate the dangers of a presidential election marred by fraud and post-election chaos.”  How would your proposed Presidential Election Review Board potentially help eliminate the dangers of post-election instability?

Trump’s various claims of election irregularities would be resolved by a tri-partisan (Democrats, Republicans, and independents) commission rather than the courts.  Because many judges are seen as partisan, the public would rightly have more confidence in the process and outcome.

***

Special thanks to Essential Information. Alan Hirsch, Instructor in the Humanities and Chair of the Justice and Law Studies program at Williams College, is the author of numerous works of legal scholarship and many books including A Short History of Presidential Election Crises (And How to Prevent the Next One), Impeaching the President: Past, Present, and Future and For the People: What the Constitution Really Says About Your Rights (Free Press, coauthored with Akhil Amar). He received a J.D. from Yale Law School and B.A. from Amherst College. His work has appeared in the Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Washington Times, Newsday, and the Village Voice. Hirsch also serves as a trial consultant and expert witness on interrogations and criminal confessions, testifying around the nation. He lives in Williamstown, Massachusetts.   

[tentacletherapissed]

Public Callout: Paradox, Blue, Jay, Bird

This is a public callout post for users Paradox (@rushifaas -- previously @mournins ; @beliisms), Blue (@divinebetrayed ; @halcyonfought), Jay (@loyalbetrayed) and Bird (@soulsbetrayed). They are active in the fandoms Persona, Fire Emblem, Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Danganronpa, Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor, Sentai, Power Rangers, and Kamen Rider. 

Never in my 15 years of roleplaying have I met a group of abusers and enablers so toxic, and this post is a PSA so that I can hopefully keep others from falling into their hands. Please blacklist them ALL for your own safety, however, DO NOT ENGAGE THEM WITH HARASSMENT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. 

Keep in mind, Paradox’s actions are so egregious, he is already getting charges pressed against him by two different people he abused so far, and more may be on the horizon. The rest all enable this behavior and defend him despite all that he’s done to harm them and people they previously called friends. While this callout has snapshots of receipts proving our claims sprinkled in at the mention of them, for full transparency, the full comment chains will be uploaded at the end so that context for everything will be supplied, with censoring only provided for those who have nothing to do with the conflict and wish to be left out of it.

Strong trigger warning for mob mentality, mental and emotional manipulation, emotional abuse, emotional neglect, transphobia, pedophilia, ableism, and a lot more. Details under the cut.  (7,300+ words, be mindful) 

[Gdoc link in case Tumblr’s formatting is unreadable]

OPEN ALL LINKS AS NEW TABS, I’M SORRY TUMBLR SUCKS AT THIS

Note: Paradox claims to have Dissociative Identity Disorder, and claims to have many alters which are sometimes go by the names of Abel, Vic, Nikki, Hebel, Cain, and Ana in some of these screencaps. I will not be arguing the veracity of such claims in this callout, but for simplicity’s sake, I will be referring to everyone in his system solely by the name of “Paradox” since there is a considerable amount of confusion based on who said what and it’s not entirely clear who’s supposed to be talking in a lot of these screenshots. He also claims to have several other mental disorders like depression, anxiety, and BPD, but regardless of anyone’s mental illness, they should treat those around them with respect and kindness, which is why this callout has been made.

________________________________________________________________

MAIN EVENT - Early September 2018 / June 10th

Paradox is the ringleader of this little cult. A few months ago, he was dating my friend Nael (occasionally called Arin, Ciel, Naoya or Hevel in some of these screens). I first got alarmed about the health of their relationship during an incident in early September 2018 where Paradox threatened to commit suicide over a conflict having to do with RPing and prioritizing one blog over one he liked. [September Break Up: Singles] They broke up, but after a lot of guilt tripping from Paradox and others in his group, my friend Nael decided to get back together with him. Even though I had a lot of misgivings about the situation, I told Nael that I respected their decision and wouldn’t pressure them either way. [Scout and Nael: 12, 13]

Months went by, and I didn’t hear much due to specifically asking Nael not to tell me about their significant other and that group of friends, but things were going downhill. There were many more fights over roleplaying and shipping, some of which Blue and Jay expressed concern about privately, especially since it seemed Paradox himself was ignoring his other lover Kieran for Nael. [For Me: 13, 15, 16] 

Paradox’s behavior continued worsening until it came to a head in mid March 2019. Blue and Nael were getting invested in an rp campaign I was running on a private server. When Nael showed off a picture they drew portraying their character, Paradox became extremely upset at them. After a solid week of enduring abuse from their lover [Abel Suicide: 1, 2, 6], it eventually culminated in Paradox apparently trying to take his own life after Nael attempted to break off their relationship. [Abel Suicide: 22, 23, 24] Nael was able to contact their mutual partner Kieran (sometimes called Kie or Vampy in screens) so that he could send the police to Paradox’s home and he would be rushed to the hospital. [Nael: 11]

Nael has multiple health issues that include heart disease and problems with their brain, and was so traumatized by the experience, they had to go to the hospital themselves [Nael: 19, 20 ; Before / After Suicide: 43]. Because I was terrified at the possibility of Nael dying from the escalating nature of their toxic relationship, I urged them to go through with the breakup. Nael decided to take my advice and broke up with Paradox and Kieran on a group chat while on a screenshared call with me and another friend who wishes to remain nameless. [Before / After Suicide: 46]

Blue was at first on board for the breakup and supportive of Nael’s decision [Blue Agrees: Singles] but at the persuasion of Jay decided to believe Paradox’s story when he said Nael had misrepresented what he said when he told Nael he would probably drop Blue due to the breakup. [Copy of Group DM: Full] Keep in mind, we have the FULL attempted suicide dropbox [Abel Suicide: Full], and the breakup conversation including Paradox’s abusive behavior before the attempted suicide attempt. [Before/After Suicide: Full] Much of what Paradox says are blatant falsehoods. In addition, Kieran (Vampy) no longer agrees with the things he has said to support Paradox’s argument and says he was pressured to agree with everything, even if it didn’t feel right.

So instead of making it clear to either of us that Blue no longer considered us friends, she instead gave us the silent treatment and leaked what I vented to her in confidence to Paradox behind my back. She only admitted to doing this when I confronted her after finding a vague post Paradox made that used the exact same wording. [Scout vs Blue: 1, 3, 4] I was extra furious with her because Paradox was making it sound as if it was Nael saying those words when in fact they had no idea what I said to her and was highly distraught when they found out about the vague post. Her excuse was that she didn’t think we would find out. [Scout vs Blue: 7, 9]

This is a common theme with their relationship that shows the extent of how complicit Blue is with Paradox’s abusive behavior. Due to her once close relationship with Nael, she often served as the “bait” to bring Nael back, agreeing that the relationship is unhealthy at first [With Blue: 12] only to go back to heaping abuse on Nael for leaving and trying to persuade them to come back [Nael’s Last Conversation with Blue: Full].

By then, Nael had already blocked everyone else in the cult-like group except Blue due to a promise they’d made to her, and she abused this trust right away by pulling Nael into a group chat so that everyone could yell at them. [Scout vs Blue: 10, 11] IF YOU BECOME A PART OF THIS GROUP, THIS IS WHAT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO. If you do anything to provoke Paradox’s ire, you will be subjected to a firing squad full of people yelling at you for whatever you did. You will not have a chance to defend yourself, only grovel for forgiveness until they decide they’re through with you. Nael and other members of the group have been subjected to it many times.

Unfortunately, there are no surviving screencaps of this particular dispute, but I do have the one I was involved with. More on that later.

Eventually Nael left and blocked Blue so that they couldn’t be added back to get yelled at more. For the sake of our RP, we agreed upon a peaceable way to continue the server RP [Scout vs Blue: 12, 13, 14, 15, 16] but Blue eventually exited that too [Scout vs Blue: 17]. During the three or so weeks they were split apart, Paradox vagued continuously about us, copied our behavior and prior ships he had with Nael with others currently in his cult, and sent Nael threatening and unstable messages [“Goodbye, Nael”: Single]. While behind their back, he was privately making light of the situation and even made bets with his stooges about when Nael would return [Betting: Singles].

Here’s where I have to put an important disclaimer: During Nael’s time away from the main cult, we both would snoop on his and Blue’s blogs to see if they had mentioned us. Also, during the period immediately after Blue sold me out to Paradox, I became enraged and sent him a pretty angry message [Scout Loses Their Mind: Single], commented on one of his posts, and indirectly threatened them with my popularity compared to theirs in the community I was in. All of those things were the direct result of piss poor decision making and I apologize for my behavior, because it was simply not right to do, no matter who I thought I was defending. Though the blog snooping continued, I thankfully sent no more harassing messages to anyone from the group once Blue indicated she wanted a clean break from us, and no vaguing messages were made on either of our blogs.

Worse still, I privately speculated if this latest suicide attempt Paradox had gone through was “real” or not, which is totally unacceptable. Though I was just concerned about my friend and worried that this might have been another attempt to manipulate them, all threats of suicide should be treated seriously and the proper authorities contacted, PERIOD, regardless of how “serious” the threat might seem. I definitely agree with Nael’s decision to contact the authorities as it was happening, and I’m relieved to know another life wasn’t tragically lost, no matter what my situation is with Paradox after the fact.

Now, with that out of the way… Eventually, Paradox was able to get through to Nael by convincing them that I had lied about a certain mental disorder he was assumed to have. This is all despite me never having said he didn’t have it as I do NOT have the medical condition described and am NOT a medical professional. Paradox willingly passed medical records through a mutual friend [Consent: Single] that Nael initially found convincing but has recently come to doubt. Note: PLEASE NEVER DO THIS, OBVIOUSLY.

Paradox then convinced Nael to pretend to be my friend for a little longer so that he could lure me into a groupchat under the impression that I was defending him from all his former friends. Here is the entire chat almost in its entirety (a few glitches in captures results in a few repeats and nearly 4 minutes straight of lost content), with screenshots proudly taken by BLUE [Her Discord Drop: Single], who played an instrumental role in helping it happen. While I would encourage everyone to read it in its entirety, please be warned that the amount of abuse I endured is very troubling. [Scout Trap: Full] 

Please note that Nael (Hevel), Kieran (Ghostie), and Dave have all come to me and personally apologized to me for their role participating in that group chat and we are friends now. But at the time due to this traumatic experience, my friendship with Nael was officially ended. Even though I was worried sick about them, I knew they couldn’t be saved until they saw Paradox’s abusive behavior for what it was on their own. And of course, after a brief honeymoon period, the abuse started again. (Keep in mind, I wasn’t in contact with Nael or anyone else for most of these, so I’m not as familiar about what happened and when.)

The first sign of trouble started on April 16th, not even two full weeks after I had been "defeated". Once again, it was over RP drama, where Paradox became upset at his two lovers Nael and Kieran for shipping with anyone besides him [Initial Ship Drama: 6], even though he usually continues multishipping on his blog with certain people when he pleases. [With Blue: 2] He complained about this endlessly. [Random Paradox Screen]

He continuously gaslit Kieran for about a week, cycling between saying he was going to leave forever [Initial Ship Drama: 9], telling the Kieran to take care of Nael [Initial Ship Drama: 10, 27], giving conflicting directions [Initial Ship Drama: 22, 38], putting himself down so Kieran would feel compelled to console him [Initial Ship Drama: 30, 41, 58], and asking them not to try to pursue romance with him [Initial Ship Drama: 12, 13, 32, 63], only to flip around and say that the idea of romancing them makes him feel “happy”, so he will [Initial Ship Drama: 45, 46], then become upset when either one of them indicated they might need space to either think or just live life like normal. [Initial Ship Drama: 53] Really, the entire thing has to be seen to be believed. [Initial Ship Drama: Full]

Eventually, Paradox’s behavior got so bad that once again, Blue expressed dissatisfaction with his behavior [With Blue: 4], but apparently it wasn’t enough to dissuade her from luring Nael into yet another trap to be yelled at barely a month later on May 17th. [May 17th: Full] 

Confusingly, the reason behind this collective thrashing was that Nael actually overcorrected too much and tried to do more stuff with Paradox, only to be called clingy and possessive when they did. Then, when Paradox told Nael he didn’t want to RP with them anymore, Nael tried to respect his decision and not get involved with group RPs that Paradox was involved with so there would be no pressure either way. This was then held up as an example as to why they were “isolating” themselves from the group. Paradox showed the screencaps to others in the group with very little context to get them riled up and angry at Nael so that they’d be on board to yell at them, again showing his willingness to twist someone’s words to make them a convenient villain, no matter what they do to try to appease him.

Then on May 24th, there was the supposed “death” of the alter “Abel”, (who has since returned yet again). [Paradox: 2] The source of all this drama was that Blue simply mentioned a ship that she was continuing with Nael during a period of time Paradox wasn’t at all receptive to the idea of them interacting. Blue freely admitted to being the source of this conflict in private [With Blue: 21], but had no problem letting Nael take the brunt of the abuse. Once again, she is complicit for enabling actions she knows are wrong and hurtful, judging by the way she expresses concern about them, as long as she’s not the one in the eye of the storm.

Following this conflict, Nael started having serious second thoughts. After getting yelled at yet again about something they didn’t even cause, they had to go to the hospital for a near suicide attempt due to all the stress of being repeatedly attacked by someone they thought they could trust. 

After they got out again, they were pulled into a smaller group chat with the newly formed “Paradox” alter as well as Jay, where it was demanded he answer for the wrongful death of an alter that has since returned. Multiple times, Paradox held up the incident from September, (which was over 9 months prior!) as to why Nael was to blame for Blue’s actions this time. [Paradox: 8, 10] Paradox even told Nael, someone who had been in the hospital just a few short hours ago [Paradox: 5], that their “suicide held no meaning to him”. [Paradox: 32] All of this despite the fact that they had talked about the very same ship on May 6th! [Proof Abel Knew: 10 total]

This was also supposed to serve as yet another “My heart is telling me not to get in a relationship with you” conversation -- a breakup convo, and one their third lover, Kieran, hadn’t even initially been invited to. [Paradox: 59] It was mostly just Paradox yelling at Nael with Jay usually only chiming in to agree with or heap praise on Paradox. [Paradox: 67] Several times, Paradox made confusing reversals, at one point musing “another alter might come and love you again” [Paradox: 49] to going back to insisting they could never be together again [Paradox: 70], then accusing Nael of saying they don’t love him [Paradox: 45, 46]. You might remember this erratic pattern from his conversation with Kieran back in April. This is gaslighting in its purest and ugliest form.

Clearly after this, Nael was rattled and eventually decided to leave. Instead of making any sort of formal goodbye, they just decided to delete their old Discord and make a clean break so there was no way they could be dragged into another group chat and yelled at. The group quickly fell into chaos once again. Paradox quickly began pumping out venting vague posts on his personal and RP blogs, sometimes pitying himself over the way Nael had apparently treated him [Single: Singles], and sometimes outright wishing death on them. [Paradox die: Single] Before long, he cracked and started sending desperate messages to Nael directly despite Nael obviously not wanting to talk. [Paradox Desperation: Singles] And when that didn’t work, of course Blue was deployed to try to persuade them to come back. [Last Convo w/ Blue: 22 pages] Luckily Dave warned them beforehand. [Thanks, Dave!: Single]

To try to convince others in the group that Nael was the bad guy and needed to be stopped, Paradox began feeding lies to his followers about bad stuff Nael was apparently doing. Paradox told Dave that Nael had been badmouthing him behind his back. But when Dave went to confront Nael about their behavior, Nael provided proof that was in fact Blue saying bad things about Dave. That’s when Dave decided to leave, too.

More chaos happened within the group. Soon after, Kieran the supposed third in their relationship got tired of Paradox constantly saying how Nael was “the only person he could ever love” as well as the constant torrent of irrational behavior and abuse. [Paradox Flipping Out: Single] So he left, as well. Aside from many, many more aggressive venting and vague posts, nothing much new has happened as far as group dynamics.

So far Paradox has been mostly fixated on Nael’s absence, but without the contributions of everyone who left, this callout wouldn’t be possible, and they should all be commended for their efforts and their courage for coming to me to apologize personally for their part in the abuse I and others have suffered.

As terrible as Paradox’s behavior has been in this retelling of events, mostly centered around Nael’s situation, it’s really only scratching the surface of how toxic this group is. There are many smaller details and other people he’s hurt that couldn’t fit in this brief recap, so here are a few more things you should know about that will hopefully keep you from this toxic group of friends. 

First I’ll talk about the accounts of people who used to be in the group and go into detail about all the people who are still backing Paradox up despite everything he’s done.

________________________________________________________________

PARTIES INVOLVED

- Other victims -

Kieran:

While Nael took the lion’s share of the abuse from Paradox, it’s important to remember that he was involved with two different people and treated them both badly. Paradox is an outstanding example of what NOT to do when in a polyamorous relationship. 

While there was a brief month long period where everything seemed fine after they started dating on October 23rd, Paradox began heavily playing favorites towards Nael, a pattern that only seemed to get worse over time. Kieran was subjected to long periods of neglect from his lover with Paradox only seeming to remember he existed when he was trying to use Kieran against Nael. Even Blue and Jay noticed this when the relationship was just starting out and rightfully called it out, though only in the safety of a private chat. [For Me: 13, 15, 16] 

Several times during their relationship, when Nael would mess up or try to leave, Paradox would say that Nael was “the only person he could love” (he even wrote a diary about it!) [Copy of Journal: 2 pages] and break things off with Kieran as well. Most of the time without even telling him. However whenever he was trying to condemn Nael about something, he would hold up Kieran to say “What you’re doing is hurting US”, often without Kieran’s consent.

Of course, Kieran was still subjected to the same amount of lies, gaslighting, emotional blackmail, and mental instability from Paradox that Nael had to endure, but the fact is that he was also basically used as a weapon against someone he cared about by someone who was supposed to care about them both EQUALLY.

Ruby:

Ruby is someone who’s been fighting a personal battle with Paradox for years, starting with a dispute that happened, of course, because of an argument about a fictional character. For the past year and a half as of writing this (the harassment started Nov 2017, it is currently July 2019), Paradox has been stalking her blogs and harassing her over this perceived slight. He lied about her to all her friends in an attempt to alienate her from the public, and we have a confession from Nael that says not only was Paradox guilty of sending tons of anon hate towards Ruby even after they had each other blocked, he would send other people (Nael included) to send anon hate after her.

I briefly intervened during this dispute on Nael’s behalf in November 2018 because during that time we were both lead to believe that Ruby was targeting both Paradox and Nael. This is despite the fact that the post Paradox was upset about wasn’t even about him and she barely even knew Nael even existed. Thanks to my help, I was able to negotiate a brief ceasefire that lasted a few months up until Nael’s separation from Paradox in March.

The stalking and harassment started up again as soon as I had been branded an enemy, and eventually it got so bad that Ruby was the first (but not the only) one to announce she is going to try to press charges against everyone still remaining in the group. Although we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things, and she’s done and said things that were unintentionally hurtful, she has been very receptive to feedback and has made great pains to change for the better. I support Ruby wholeheartedly in her endeavors to make the ones abusing her pay for what they’ve done. If you want to know a little more about her conflict with Paradox from her perspective, visit her page. [Ruby’s page of Receipts: Full]

- Part of Paradox’s group -

Blue:

Out of all the people on this list, Blue is the most disappointing aspect of all this, seeing as I considered her my friend even before Nael came along. We’d been friends for more than a year by the time the March Madness started, meeting somewhere around February 2018. She was the one who introduced me to Nael in the first place, and Nael was so close to her they called each other their long lost siblings. 

Unfortunately for all of us, Blue can’t stand up to a bully who insults and abuses her friends, even if she knows what he’s doing is wrong. We have multiple screenshots showing instances where she admits that Paradox is in the wrong or being annoying or excessively guilt tripping others based on trivial matters. However, whenever she’s personally on the hook for getting targeted by the ones she calls her “friends”, she quickly falls into line. 

The second Paradox asks her to jump, she asks “How high?” She’s been willingly used as bait to rope Nael back into situations she knows and has even admitted are super unhealthy for them, all because she’s too afraid of being the next one everyone turns on. The only time she shows any semblance of “courage” is when she’s backed up by the rest of the hivemind. She’s too afraid to speak for herself, often parroting what others have already written in a desperate attempt to show external strength and total fealty for her master. 

I have to wonder what exactly it is that keeps bringing Blue back to him, even though we have an entire folder showing times where she has come to her own conclusions that Paradox is unhealthy to be around [With Blue: 24 total] and has a penchant for blaming her whenever his relationship with his two lovers ever took a downwards turn. [Paradox blaming Blue: Singles] It’s not my place to speculate, but it’s safe to say that with all the times she’s personally let me, Nael, and others in our group down, there’s no way in hell we’re giving her another chance. She has made her choice to stay with someone she knew to be an abuser and emotional manipulator -- someone who hurt her and her friends -- and she will have to live with that decision.

Bird:

Ruby’s situation with Bird is very much like my situation with Blue, made all the worse by the fact that they were actually dating at the time. Bird purposefully sold Ruby out to Paradox while claiming they weren’t in contact, all the while she was feeding all of Ruby’s words and private thoughts to him. This is a common theme with this group and why you can’t be friends with just one of them if you don’t want to be involved with the cult as a whole. 

Eventually she was found out and hasn’t really bothered to hide the fact that she’s on Paradox’s team ever since. We also have screenshots of her calling Nael a brat and useless during conflicts Paradox started, like the shipping drama in September. [Misc Bird Folder: 9 total] [Ruby and Bird’s Breakup: 16 total]

Jay:

Now we get to the biggest sycophant of the entire group, Jay. She’s been the one by his side the longest -- for a whopping 4 years -- and one of his most ardent supporters and biggest enablers. While I didn’t know much about her at first, seeing as she was largely absent from what I affectionately call the “six-person beat down”, she’s an invaluable member of Paradox’s cult and basically functions as his right arm and messenger.

If you have a problem with Paradox and want to talk things over with him, he’ll usually insist upon bringing Jay as an “impartial judge”. Not surprisingly, she usually just ends up agreeing with whatever he says and pushing his narrative, all the while insisting she’s being unbiased. She will lie for him, rope cult members attempting to leave back with excuses for his inexcusable behavior, and always swallows whatever lie he has to say wholeheartedly. If he needs a message from Abel passed on to someone trying to persuade them to come back, she’ll deliver it gladly. But if you need her to send a message to him, she’ll curtly tell you not to have her “fight your battles.”

She tried to send an entire drop box of “evidence” to Dave attempting to prove Nael was manipulative and evidence of the alter “Hebel's” existence. In it, Paradox (or rather, his alter Hebel) admitted to trying to spur Nael to kill themselves so that “Hebel” could apparently take over and get Kieran all to himself. [Potential Manslaughter: Singles] All of this was sent as proof that NAEL was the bad guy BY Jay, which is truly mind boggling and shows how far gone she is with regards to him. 

There is a woman in prison the very moment that I’m writing this for spurring her suicidal boyfriend to take his own life [Article], and yet Jay thinks this behavior is okay? And before anyone tries to say that Hebel is “technically” to blame for attempting to push Nael to suicide, this argument hasn’t worked in the courtroom since the 1970s! [Article] IF PARADOX’S ALTER IS A DANGER TO NAEL AND CAN’T BE CONTROLLED, PARADOX HIMSELF IS ALSO DANGEROUS. PERIOD.

This isn’t even mentioning the multiple times she’s seen Paradox himself or his other various "good" alters (everyone in the group has seen, in fact) tell Nael outright that he “wishes [they] would die” [Abel Vent: Single] and that their suicide “holds no meaning to him” [Paradox: 32]. Jay was supposed to be “mediating” the very conversation where Paradox -- not “Hebel” or anyone else -- said that to Nael! And she said NOTHING. Her silence is complicity and she should take the blame for being such an ardent supporter of his abusive behavior. 

Amazingly, there’s even MORE awful things that this group (particularly, but not exclusively Paradox) that I didn’t have any space to discuss in the callout itself, but they can’t go unmentioned. I know this is already super long, so I’ll try to run through them all as quickly as possible, and then we can get to the large wealth of screenshots we have linked at the end, where everything is in context for you to browse at your convenience.

________________________________________________________________

OTHER OCCURENCES

Transphobia: Paradox is a terf, and there’s not much else to say. [For Me: 2] Ironically he said this in a group chat with one of the only two people who identify as trans in their group, his then-boyfriend Kieran. Here’s him heavily fetishizing a failed attempted Corrin muse that he described as intersex, too. [FE Abel Problems: 5 pages] (In parenthesis is a user attempting to check their work. He makes a bit of an error concerning outrealms and dragon gates and whatnot, but please forgive him for those small errors considering how much he had on his hands.)

Abuse victim blaming: Paradox would often tell his two lovers, who are survivors of various types of abuse, ranging from mental, physical, and even sexual, how it’s their fault for letting their past traumas affect them. [Victim Blaming: Singles] Please note that these screenshots were taken in May, nearly a month before they separated from him fully, so they would have no reason to lie to each other about the things he said or needlessly malign his character before they left.

Promoting infighting: Paradox enjoyed watching his underlings tear each other apart for his amusement or to influence their behavior by saying their actions affected “everyone” despite him using false pretenses to get them to fight in the first place. He lied to Dave about Nael comparing him to a user that he wasn’t fond of when it was really Paradox and Blue that had done it. He also lied to Kieran and the entire group to get them all to yell at Nael in a group chat about Nael trying to isolate themselves from everyone when it was really done to please Paradox.

Ableism: Nael is unwell and has brain conditions they don’t feel comfortable with sharing. Instead of being understanding and supportive of them occasionally not understanding things or forgetting things, Paradox would immediately use it as a weapon against them. When “Paradox” first surfaced, Nael claimed that it wasn’t fair to them that the “Abel” alter yelled at them for forgetting about their ship with Blue. Paradox immediately countered that he Nael would no longer be allowed to use the excuse that they forgot things to AVOID being yelled at for minor things. [Paradox: 21, 22] He would constantly do things like this while they were together.

Copying and stealing OCs: Besides stalking the people that left and that he’s grown to hate, Paradox also has a peculiar habit of copying their activities on his blog with the few remaining people in his circle. For example, back in March when Nael’s Grima muse began interacting with a Reyson rper I introduced them to, Paradox made Kieran pick up his abandoned Reyson muse so that he could ship him with his Robin. (This hasn’t been linked to protect the identity of the second Reyson.) Worse still, Paradox has even outright stolen characters and backstories from those that leave. Here Kieran tries to ask Jay to tell Paradox to stop using some of his stolen OCs and she questions why it “would matter” to Kieran before promptly telling him to basically take a hike and blocking him. [Jay: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5]

Racism: This group seems to relish in their own ignorance when it comes to matters of race. Here are screenshots Dave took where he discussed Paradox saying that Japanese people are white. [No, seriously: Singles] (Please note the dates -- it was back in December, so he has no reason to lie.) Here’s Nael recounting a time Paradox told them that, because they were partially North African, they had to distance themselves from people of their race because other people would only see them as a terrorist. (No caps of that since it was in a call, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.) Here’s Blue telling me, a black fan, that unintentional racism in a game I enjoyed but was put off by “didn’t matter” and that there was no need for me to “get so salty about it”. [Scout vs Blue: 19, 20] While I don’t think they’re going to any Klan meetings over the weekend, it’s still a bit concerning and something POC muns should be aware of because they can be startlingly insensitive at times. 

Pedophilia: Probably the hardest one to talk about for me personally, but definitely one of the most serious. While I must stress that we haven’t noticed any sort of untoward behavior with underaged USERS thus far, Paradox shows an almost unhealthy fascination with underage MUSES that might be off putting to some people and may spell danger. This actually isn’t the first callout someone has made about his behavior. In 2018 while he went by the name “Vic” and was in the Pokemon fandom, he wrote a disturbing post where a 14 year old girl was killed by a literal penis monster that was saying “penetrate” as it ran her through the middle. 

Though the mun was fine with their muse dying, the obvious sexual connotations of the post left them feeling uneasy. When they went to approach him about this, instead of apologizing, he got defensive and said that because it was fictional, it didn’t matter. Later he made a bizarre case arguing that because the girl was 14 and thus had presumably experienced puberty, it couldn’t TECHNICALLY be considered pedophilia. [WTF: Single] Which, while correct on only the most technical of terms, flies in the face of all reason. Here’s the full PSA about him back then [Paradox PSA], and screenshots he was booted out of for his terrible behavior. [Paradox Booted: Singles] (His then-lover initially tried to defend him, but his abusive behavior eventually drove them away as well, so care was taken to keep them anonymous.)

Most disturbing of all, though, is a smut drabble that he made this year concerning one of his newer muses, Momo. On his blog, he describes Momo as someone who is “physically” 18 but “actually” seven due to the circumstances of his creation. That would be fine, except he will often portray Momo as also being mentally seven years old even though he continues to write him lewdly. In the smut drabble, he even goes a step further and constantly refers to him as a “child” and constantly fixates on his underdeveloped genitals. 

DUE TO THE HIGHLY GRAPHIC AND POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING NATURE OF THIS DRABBLE, DO NO CLICK UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED. It’s honestly not for the faint of the heart and makes me queasy from the first sentence, but there’s no other way to describe the severity of his awful nature unless you experience it for yourself. [To Endure a Fiend’s Heat: full 6 page drabble]

While some would say it’s okay to experience triggering material in a safe environment to potentially help ease the pain of past trauma, Paradox has already shown himself to be unreliable when it comes to respecting the mental health and safety of others, and though we don’t have any screenshots of this, Nael has recounted several times where Paradox said he was sexually excited by RPing his childlike muses having sex with the adult muses of others in the cult. Here's him once again emphasizing the child like element with one and then drawing them in a suggestive "pin up" pose immediately after. [Vector: Singles]

________________________________________________________________

Finally we are at our end. Once again, my purpose behind this callout is not to shame anyone with a particular mental illness or unique set of challenges. Paradox is dangerous to any community he’s in because of his view of other people as simple playthings that he can use and throw away as he pleases. He treats life as an RP, living people as muses, and his apparent mental illnesses as an excuse to do away with any sort of accountability for his actions, and it is simply NOT ACCEPTABLE. Please protect yourself and others by reblogging this -- I feel as though Nael is very lucky to have escaped this situation with his life. Informing others might save another’s.

Complete, unedited list of references, roughly in the order of mention: 

(Please note that anything labeled “Single(s)” will not have an entry here, as those are the only screenshots we have about them. We got better about capping things as time went on.)

[Scout and Nael Convo: 13 total] When Nael decided to get back together with Paradox the first time in September 2018, I let them know my concerns, but told them I respected their decision, no matter if I agreed with it or not. Looking back, parts of this conversation feel almost prophetic. 

[Didn’t Feel Like…: 9 total] One of Kieran’s first conversations with Paradox. Watch closely how he characterizes the incident in September. He also mentions that his trauma and BPD makes him a sexual fiend, which… idk how others in the community would feel about that.

[For me: 16 total] A loose collection of screenshots Kieran took that shows quite a few odd moments during his time in the cult. That includes Paradox being a terf, Paradox insisting that Kieran to stay with Nael if they broke up (which is something he criticized Nael for suggesting in the March break up, even though Nael only said it once), and Jay and Blue expressing concern for Kieran when Paradox was starting to neglect him back in January. PLEASE MIND THE DATES! They vary page to page sometimes!

[Before/After Suicide: 88 total] A few screenshots showing the tumultuous times immediately before and after the Paradox suicide attempt in March 2019. Afterwards, Nael breaks up with both Paradox and Kieran in no uncertain terms due to the trauma he faced.

[Abel Suicide: 33 total] Paradox’s infamous suicide attempt.

[Nael: 34 total] Nael and Kieran talk as Paradox’s suicide attempt is in progress, and Nael tells Kieran to get the police. Sensitive information blotted out for obvious reasons.

[Scout vs Blue: 25 total] A collection of the conflicts I’ve dealt with in regards to Blue since the incident in March. Also includes her racial insensitivity and back when she agreed with me and Nael before Paradox lied to her.

[Initial Ship Drama: 93 total] Kieran endures like 5 days of nonstop gaslighting from Paradox. At the end (Around page 88) he manipulates Kieran into sparking a confrontation with Nael, telling him to “be assertive” about fixing a problem Paradox caused with his erratic behavior.

[Proof Abel Knew: 10 total] On May 6th, Nael discussed with Paradox or one of his alters about the ship that triggered the May 24th meltdown. Paradox also says that having any ships, including ones that he doesn’t even have to see is unacceptable simply because they exist. He then blames Nael for something Blue brought up. Again. While asking Nael not to blame him for something Blue has done.

[With Blue: 24 total] Kieran talks with Blue about the aforementioned shipping drama, and she immediately expresses frustration and anger with Paradox blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Later she also expresses annoyance with the May 24th incident of the alter “Abel” “dying” due to even more ship drama.

[May 17th: 13 total] Once again, Paradox whips his followers up into a frenzy over Nael, who’s really just trying to do what they were told and prioritize their lover. When they’re told the amount of attention Paradox literally asked for is stifling, they back off, only to be yelled at for it once again. It’s not shown here, but Blue once again acted as a lure to bring Nael into a public flogging.

[Paradox: 72 total] Nael is blamed for the “death” of an alter that has since returned because the alter “wasn’t around” for something they discussed on the 6th of May. This is the introduction to the “Paradox” alter, that I’m assuming now has assumed a fronting role. I don’t really care if that situation has changed since I started writing this.

[Jay: 12 total] Just some screens of Jay kind of being a jerk (mostly in the first set). She won’t tell Paradox to stop stealing someone else’s OCs and stop improperly using Nael’s last name, which is considered legitimate identity theft in France, where he lives! Mind the dates.

[Last Convo w/ Blue: 22 pages] Blue reprises her role as the bait to try to drag Nael back, but they’ve wised up to her game by now. It’s not going to ever work again.

[Jay’s “Evidence” Folder: 122 total] All of the things Jay sent to Dave in order to convince him that Nael was the bad guy. None of it accomplishes that goal. In it there’s a lot of doting between Nael’s alter “Naoya” and Paradox’s alter “Abel”, before Paradox showed the exact same abusive behavior and drove Naoya away as well. Then Paradox’s alter “Hebel” tries to explain his existence. He also admits to attempted manslaughter. So. (Please note: some of these are out of order, and we’re very sorry about this, but it’s not our doing, sorry!)

[Ruby and Bird’s Breakup: 16 total] Ruby tried to get Bird to intervene on her behalf to get Paradox to stop harassing her after she tried making an apology post. Bird totally flaked out, probably due to her dual loyalties to Paradox himself. This spurred a messy breakup between them both.

[Misc Bird Folder: 9 total] Some more random stuff showing Bird and Ruby’s relationship, including her take on Paradox and Nael’s September breakup, where she calls him a “brat”. The entire time during these screenshots, Bird was secretly feeding information to Paradox against Ruby’s will, breaking her trust when she found out. She even told Paradox, Ruby’s abuser, about the new blog Ruby made in order to escape him. That’s why she’s on this callout.

[Discord Server Chat with Blue: 23 pages] The complete chat about the Fire Emblem Heroes event that left me feeling upset about the handling of race in Book 2. While the rest in the server try to be respectful or change the subject, Blue insisted on devaluing my feelings and saying I was accusing her of racism, which was, of course, untrue at the time. Currently, I’m not feeling so generous. (Note: My apologies to fans of Heroes’ Nifl -- I say some strongly worded things here which may be unflattering, but I felt it was important to get the entire conversation down.)

BONUS: [Paradox Guilt Tripping on his birthday: 16 total] In case you needed more evidence of Paradox’s gaslighting behavior, here is him guilt tripping them because Nael, who is not a native English speaker, didn’t understand one video he sent. If this is all it takes to trigger a breakdown, he is probably not ready for a relationship.

[kithenremodeling]

Your kitchen's Design - Can there be a New Kitchen inside your Future? Take the initial Steps to Accomplishment - Planning

A lot of my clients have got, unfortunately, initiated the plan of their kitchen with no understanding of the span of what is definitely involved in the process, in the case of design, budget, schedule and other issues. In such cases, our design system together, was disheartening for the client in addition to for me. As a result, this post will clarify the method so that you will have an opportunity to become better knowledgeable before you begin your your kitchen's project, thereby keeping away from uninformed decisions or perhaps spending time and/or revenue needlessly.

kitchen design

This article is simply not about the specific style and design features of your house and how to model it. There are many superior resources available for that will. Instead, it is for the process of designing a kitchen. It is geared towards eliminating help in getting a top of your head start and to open anyone who is, or even might be, embarking with the design of a innovative or remodeled your kitchen, to the first and the most important step : Planning.

Designing your kitchen for a brand-new or existing property is a big expenditure in time, money along with energy and it is usually stressful and tricky. Unfortunately, some distributors and TV applications don't like to obsess on this aspect thereby mislead the consumer concerning the actual amount of time together with effort that is required. Despite the fact creating a new kitchen area is challenging, a lot of clients say of the fact that results are more than well worth the effort. I hope that your information provided here will be a helpful factor toward having most people well on your way to somewhat of a successful project.

Before you start the process of creating your new kitchen, you have to set the key elements for the design. I can recommend that you engage a competent kitchen designer which not only designs that cabinet layout, nevertheless designs every component the kitchen and is needed throughout the entire job, so that the final result would have been a cohesive design this reflects optimum purpose and style. That designer will not only make it easier to create a beautiful, useful, kitchen but can save you significant time and additionally money and you will the two have fun developing a person's joint creation. We trust that below will get your energy going and thoughts auto racing, in preparation to get actually embarking when your journey. In addition to, it "is" a good journey!

THE KITCHEN ASSOCIATED WITH TODAY

The kitchen comes with traditionally been a very important room in the house due to the fact cooking and discussing food has long been middle to family existence. Meals will always be significant, but cooking provides, in some cases, significantly switched. The grocery marketplace has focused on substitutes for home foods and hundreds of dinning establishments have incorporated "to-go" in their business model. When we cook typically or not, living rooms remain the foundation associated with family life since it is where most people live and acquire. It is where many of us start and terminate our days in addition to share the information our day.

Today's kitchen sets serve more functions than ever before: entertainment target, home office, cooking along with dining space. This electronics for an pleasure center may include TV SET, music and connection to the web and the office location may have a workplace, files, computer together with bookshelves.

THE FIRST TIPS

Determine with your friends and family, who uses this kitchen and precisely how, and discuss this conveniences you would like to possess in the new type. Make a scrapbook from articles and insights on kitchens and additionally kitchen features of which interest you in addition to photographs of decks you like. Evaluate the way in which and when you prepare a meal, where you provide meals to exactly who and how typically you entertain along with how you entertain. Stock your dishes, cutlery, serving pieces, pots and pan sets, linens, and your normal grocery storage conditions so that you can be sure that the popular design accommodates all sorts of things.

It seems that no matter what time you plan for a remodeling undertaking, it usually takes for a longer period than you predicted. For a complete transform, the down time at the time of construction can be at the very least two or three months and far longer, depending upon your size and amount of the project. Your household needs to eat at the same time. So , before manufacturing starts make arrangements to help store, heat together with clean up, enough and keep you going prior to the kitchen is once again on-line. Many of your clients who have previously had the good fortune to get a bar sink inside family room, have transported in the old wine fridge and microwave close bar sink which combination becomes a interim kitchen all through construction of the cutting edge one. The benefit to this is which it provides a great explanation for eating out on a regular basis!

THE KITCHEN FOOTPRINT

Shall we start with the space available for you for the kitchen. Irrespective of whether you are designing for any new home, or simply remodeling in an old one, you are tied to how much space available in which to create ones dream. If the house is fairly small, it is advisable to consider whether or not you may have the option of increasing. You may be able to make this happen in your existing your home and, in a completely new home, very often you've kept time to alter that architectural plan, in the event that needed. In either case, if you possibly could eliminate or move a wall and walls or boost the house to create even more space for the your kitchen's, it will improve the performance and value in the room significantly.

Naturally, if you don't create some sort of addition to the home, and just remove and also relocate a wall(s), you then have infringed upon a contiguous space and lower its size, so that you have to weigh that option is the best in your case. Is it worth letting go the other space to enhance the size of the kitchen? If you ask me, if you can do minus the adjoining space, it happens to be much better to expend that extra space or room to the kitchen.

Whenever you plan to remove or even relocate a wall(s), the key factor to decide is, by which means doing, will you go through a load-bearing position? This occurs as soon as wall(s) is organ of the support system with the structure of the house. Commonly a contractor might determine this. In the event the contractor is unsure, you will need to have a structural engineer examine this structure to make that will determination. If it is neo load-bearing, when you are happy to start construction, your contractor can begin build out the actual per the new system. If it is a load-bearing issue, your local constructing authority will require that you really retain a structural engineer or a architect to design some sort of structural solution designed for removing or shifting the wall(s).

This individual will submit pattern drawings and data of the solution, with the building authority with regard to approval and permit. At receiving the make it possible for, when you are ready to begin the process of construction, the designer and installer can then proceed to build-out the structure each and every the engineer's or simply architect's specifications. It is a process in Ca, based upon the state creating standards, Title per day. The process in the various states is very very much the same.

In any case, once you have determined of whether or not to help you expand or re-configure, you will know the configuration (footprint) of the breathing space that you have available by a horizontal standpoint -- Plan View.

STRAIGHT SPACE

You should also consider precisely what size and shape the room can be from a vertical viewpoint as well. If it is likely to increase the level of the room just by raising, eliminating and altering an existing poor ceiling or soffit, you should seriously consider using this option. The additional position will provide more wooden box storage from the enhanced height of selection cabinets and the living room will become more voluminous which is always much more visually impressive and additionally comfortable. From a engineering standpoint, the load-bearing issues will connect with increasing the room peak just as it relates to moving or removing walls.

Of course, in working with all of these design in addition to construction issues along with decisions that need to become made, you will not come to be alone. Your developer will be the pivotal one that will help you evaluate the possibilities you have available. He or she could produce drawings so that they can visually demonstrate those options and will give advice on which selections are best together with why.

I understand that all sounds extremely tedious and bothersome. In some sense both of these words are a fantastic description of the design/construction process. However , everything that I have outlined on top of is done thousands of moments every day and most of people homeowners have live through and, as a result, depend on the new, beautiful, well-designed, kitchen of their objectives. You notice I talked about "most"! Seriously, a project will be complicated and there will be certain problems. This is basically the nature of type and construction and that's why you should not shift without experienced specialist throughout the process through the very beginning to the stop.

UTILIZING YOUR YOUR KITCHEN'S

Are you an expert cocinero, who does it all: cooking food, baking, barbecuing, and also are you a minimal cook dinner whose main goal should be to just get a food on the table for the home as expeditiously as is feasible, or are you anywhere you want in between? Do you consistently cook by yourself or even do you often have friends and family help with the creating meals? Do you often show your and all amount into the kitchen whereas munching on your Brie between sips with chardonnay? Do you cook often and wish a marble spot for that purpose? Your questions can do not delay - on.

Some shoppers have large, renowned, homes and enliven frequently and/or get large families. They will have someone undertake the cooking for your children. Some of these types of initiatives may need the full treatment method, such as a butler's kitchen or walk-in kitchen, two islands, a couple refrigerators, two dishwashers, two microwave stoves, a wine cooler, some other beverage cooler, some built-in espresso machines, sink, prep-sink and additionally bar sink in addition to glass-door cabinets to show the family heirloom the far east, etc .

Most people require something drastically less than all of this, although I bring it upwards just to emphasize which how you utilize ones own kitchen has a tough influence on the style and design and therefore, as I talked about, you should think about how you will want to operate along with what you want to accommodate in the kitchen. You can start considering what type of appliances together with features you would like. Imagine the three key work areas of your kitchen: Food Prepare (refrigerator and sink), Cooking (cook top notch, oven and microwave) and Cleanup (sink, dishwasher and recycling). You will find a myriad of designs and options available for you to and your designer will probably need to carefully consider. A lot more planning, of course!

THE SIMPLEST WAY & WHERE YOU CAN EXPECT TO EAT

You may love to be able to eat with the kitchen by having an tropical island with seating. How big the island that room will fit will determine how many you can seat. Seats at an tropical isle reduces the hard drive space usage available in the is, so the balance with the kitchen storage must absorb this decrease. You can basically sit down at three circumvent heights: chair top (29-30"), counter level (36") and standard height (42").

Should you have an adjacent dinner room, you may want to take there in the curiosity of having more storage devices in the island. If ever the room will provide it, you may much like the idea of a built-in booth in the breakfast time room or house, in lieu of a typical family table and chairs. Various clients like to have the choice of eating with both the breakfast location and at the of the islands in the kitchen. You might find there is no breakfast room in your home and the dining room functions as both lunchtime room and kitchen curtains. In any case, you should make these and other opportunities careful consideration.

THE DESIGN FASHION

There are many design motifs available to you: Traditional, Present day, Contemporary, Country, Craftsman, Cape Cod, and so on The design motif you select will definitely heavily influence selecting all of the other parts in the kitchen. A cabinet style and additionally finish have the most profitable influence on the model style of the kitchen. When i mentioned, you can start as a result of collecting magazine images of kitchens to obtain a feel for what we do and don't just like. They will give you superb ideas for all important things kitchen. Stock, semi-custom or custom shelves have many different versions and finishes to provide and of course, custom boxes can provide any pattern and finish.

KEEPING ISSUES

The planning operation will continue right up until every aspect of the whole kitchen design is normally selected and stated. However , once you have organized your footprint in addition to vertical space, how i want to utilize a kitchen, how along with where you want to feed on, and your design design, you are more than half manner there. The planning approach continues, on a small scale, as you are helping to make more decisions around all of the items together with issues that make up earnings kitchen design.

Types: Do you often create spaghetti and pasta, which requires sealing a large pot along with about four to six quarts of water? If you have, you should have a pot-filler over the cook major or range prime. Since there are simply two of you and it ingests a long time to clog the dishwasher which causes the area wash the dishes, you should think about a two cabinet dishwasher which lets you wash one bathroom drawer at a time, thereby conserving energy and to provide clean dishes again. Do you prefer a great air switch within the countertop for the garbage disposal or do you want that switch to be over the backsplash? Do you want a good garbage disposal inside the prep sink and also the main sink? Are you wanting soft close within your cabinet drawers? Would you like the idea of au cours de lighting above this island? Do you want some sort of filtered water method? The questions just on!

The various lists you will be encountering within designing your new your kitchen are as follows. This approach listing of categories can provide an idea of what exactly is to come. I decided not to say it was painless!

References Kitchen https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitchen

[echobearclasspectingblog]

Heya, could I get a session analysis? We have a Seer of Time (D) (Also Leader), a Knight of Doom (P), A Witch of Void (D), and a Heir of Space (P).

Seer of Time (D) (Leader) - One who knows Time or knows through Time through research

Knight of Doom (P) - One who serves Doom or serves using Doom

Witch of Void (D) - One who makes changes to Void or changes things through Void

Heir of Space (P) - One who causes Space to change or causes things to change through Space

You’ve got a space player and a time player, allowing genesis frog breeding and scratching. Having doom and void as the second half aspects of a four player session interests me, kind of on the darker side perhaps compared to the other possibilities. It’s what someone does with their aspect that really counts (not to mention darker aspects are just as valid) and the classes are a good match up. So good in fact that they’re the same class types as the sburb beta session from the comic.

The session looks good at a glance but the real fun is getting in deeper, so I’ll look closer at each player then at each player’s synergy.

A seer of time knows history, pacing, and the future through research. They will probably use view ports that can go forward and backward in time to see what’s happening when, as well as just traveling to different times to find new information. As a derse dreamer they will view time very much by the facts of what has happened in history before looking at the thematic flow of those events. While this player can be very helpful, there is also a caution that needs to be taken so that knowing too much of everyone’s futures doesn’t drain the players of their agency.

A knight of doom serves limitations, death, and hardship. Great at finding the silver lining in any dark situation, and turning failures into ways to better the team. They’ll make sure doomed timeline versions of yourselves are not treated any lesser than the alpha timeline versions, effectively increasing your ranks with ghost players. Their service to doom may also lead to them embracing it a little too easily as well, meaning it’ll be harder to turn a timeline away from being doomed if it’s heading that direction. Being on prospit they’ll have access to oracle clouds which’ll only give them visions of ‘fates’ that they’ll believe need to be fulfilled rather than just waiting for them.

A witch of void changes nothingness, secrets, and mystery. This witch would use the secrets of the session to make great changes, shifting alliances and maybe even the nature of the planets themselves. Using black holes as agents of transformation. It’d be nearly impossible to understand this player since not only are they a mystery but one that’s constantly changing. Being on Derse, it’ll be way too easy for them to end up playing with the horror terrors… probably want to prevent that if you can.

An heir of space causes change to creativity, birth, and celestial bodies. Great for finding new ways to alchemize things, giving fresh new perspectives for their friends to make more stuff. Altering distance and size is a very powerful skill as well. Prospit heir of space is a combination that feels very likely to be a floaty carefree personality, to the point of probably needing a bit of grounding for such a dangerous game.

From what I’ve seen in the comic the “leader” tends to end up being the person whose classpect is most needed for a session. So the seer of time being the leader means their session will be heavy with mystery or mistruths about the past and a foggy future. There will be things from both sides of time that will pose great threats to the players and discovering what those things are and how to deal with them will be one of the most important parts of the session to get through it alive. Depending how close to the narrative of homestuck the “Leader” ends up playing a role, there will be things in motion that don’t just obscure knowledge of past and future, and maybe even present, but that actively continue to destroy or hide this knowledge. Your seer will have to play a very active role in order to best lead their team through knowledge found from messing about in the time stream.

The knight of doom would be a good pair up for the seer of time, taking the seer’s instructions in order to fulfill self fulfilling prophecies to further the session. Due to all the void around them, the witch of void would make anything around them harder for the seer to properly view. Sharing a dream moon means it might be harder for them to learn things that happen on derse as well. The heir of space seems like an opposite core personality from the seer based on their hero titles and dream moons. They’ll either have a hard time connecting or have a good yin yang balance between them, depending on their relationship prior to the session. If they do have the yin yang going on it’ll display itself largely in the seer helping to ground the heir while the heir helps the seer loosen up and imagine things beyond their visions.

The knight of doom/seer of time synergy works just as well in reverse, the knight’s job will be significantly easier with a player who can tell them exactly what fates everyone will have. The witch of void can help the knight bend fate to the player’s favor, manipulating the unknown aspects of fate into a better outcome. The heir of space would help the knight keep away from defeatism and accepting the worse parts of fate, and that endings are just things changing into new beginnings.

The seer of time would be able to spot secrets for the witch to use, as well as absences within time… periods of inactivity. The knight of doom would be good at helping the witch change things into nothing, a simple but effective synergy. I can see the witch instructing the heir of space how to move planets, effectively changing the negative space of space by influencing the positive space… there’s probably a more eloquent way to put that easy synergy but I’m keeping it this way.

First up to help with frog duties is the knight of doom, who is very useful since they’re able to wield fate easily and making sure frogs have fates to prevent appearification is a major task of any knight. Both of them being prospit dreamers may help with familiarity between the heir of space and the knight, but will leave them with the general risk that if both of them are awake on the heir’s planet, both dream selves will be vulnerable. Prospit would at least be safer as any derse agents trying to murder sleeping players would have to fight or sneak their way to the players. Secondly the seer of time would be able to give backup on which frogs would be ecto-slimable and which wouldn’t, as well as generally giving the heir some direction on what to do, as the heir on their own would have a tendency to space out. The witch of void’s powers would work as an inverse that achieves a similar result to the heir, and be someone the heir can turn to for help moving things around.  

Looks like a good four player session. Plenty of good team ups of classpects for the small number and most potential problems from a single player looks balanced out by others.

Breeding the genesis frog should go smoothly, winning the session might be a different story. Considering the leader, and their role’s connection to potential problems in the session, I’d say going through the session normally would be more of a coin flip. The players aren’t badly matched for the potential problem, but they’re not going to overcome it easily either.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Offering (M)

Author: @kpopfanfictrash , as part of Exordia Academy - a series of ongoing one shots with @underthejoon

Creative Content Contributors: moodboard by @m00nk1ld (BASICALLY A GENIUS, LOOK)

Pairing: reader / Yixing

Rating: 18 + (explicit sex)

Word Count: 7,425

Superpower: Molecular manipulation

Summary:   Yixing has complete control. Over himself, his body, the molecules which make him. Yixing can alter or change at will - each time with a clinical sort of detachment. Until he finds you, and remembers there are some things worth caring for. [ THIS IS A REPOST ]

The classroom is empty when Yixing arrives. He sits in the back, as distanced from the teacher as possible because although Yixing likes being early, he doesn’t like to be seen. Coming early was strategy, since most of the time people don’t look at the room when they enter. They focus mainly on the front, they look around at the empty seats while deciding where to sit. Most won’t notice Yixing – and those that do, he can easily avoid with downcast eyes.

It’s not that he doesn’t like people, but – wait, no. That’s exactly it. Yixing doesn’t like people. Specifically, he doesn’t understand the hopeful exuberance of the children who surround him. Children, he calls them, for that’s what they are to him. Yixing is – here he pauses, tilting his head. He’s old, that much is a given. It’s hard to say how old, though. There was a very confusing period around Christ’s birth, when no one knew what year was coming or going. When time reset itself to zero (Yixing cracks a smile, remembering), the entire century following was a bit murky.

Sliding down in his seat, Yixing blows hair from his forehead. His fingers trace the table before him, narrowing his gaze at the sight of his hands. His power is, simply put, unusual. Yixing can manipulate molecules. He can rearrange them, repair them, cause them to grow or shrink. He can control the shape of things, reform the world as he likes – though currently, Yixing has no interest in doing either. Since the last war, he’s lost most of his faith in humanity. The thing he currently holds most control over, is himself – and even this, most of the time is accidental.

Yixing does not age. He cannot, his body rejects it, deciding instead to regenerate each time. A grey hair? Gone the next day. Creaky knee? Fixed, overnight. Over and over – a force of habit, some reflex instilled, determined to make him survive. Mostly, Yixing doesn’t even realize what’s happening. His body acts on instinct, separate to whatever input Yixing might like to have.

Waving a finger, Yixing causes a hole to open in his desk. It widens, dropping lower, lower, deeper –

“Cool,” you announce, sliding into the seat beside him. “What power is that? Biblical?”

Yixing looks up. “Sorry?” he asks, having never spoken with you before.

You just look at him, then lower your gaze to the hole. “You know,” you nod. “Biblical. That power seems super… hole-y.”

Yixing stares, uncertain why you’ve decided to converse. “That was…” he shakes his head. “Anyways.�� Facing forward, he doesn’t bother to elaborate. It’s not as though you’d understand molecular manipulation, anyways.

Shrugging, you seem unconcerned with his dismissal. Pulling your notebook from your bag, you uncap your pen between the front of your teeth. “Oh,” you exhale, looking over. “That’s neat. Is it control over any molecule, or just certain ones?”

Yixing’s gaze snaps up. When he sees you grinning, understanding dawns and he sighs. “Fucking mind readers,” Yixing grumbles, sliding lower in his chair. “Did I ask you to mess with my mind?”

Pursing your lips, you consider. “Seeing as I can’t quite control my powers, and you were basically screaming the words my way – I’d say yeah, you did.”

“I wasn’t screaming,” Yixing responds stiffly. “I never scream, if I can help it.”

“Ah,” you sadly arch a brow. “You were, though. You were louder than Baekhyun – who,” twisting around, you catch sight of a boy several rows back, “needs to stop thinking about fucking his best friend in the middle of class. People are trying to learn, here, Aquaboy.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks flush red. “Hey!” he complains, scrunching up his face. “That was a private daydream, it’s ten cents to ride! Here,” declares, gesturing loosely in your direction, “take my mental knives, thrown your way!”

Yixing watches this entire exchange with distaste. “Lovely,” he murmurs, before bowing his head to look at his notebook.

When you hear him speak, you turn around. “But really,” you continue, as though you never stopped talking. “Is it any molecule?”

Rather than answer, Yixing waves a hand. While you watch, his hair turns scarlet-red. When you inhale, eyes wide – Yixing quickly frowns, changing it back. His cheeks are warm, and he tells himself this is due to several people now staring. Not because you are, and not because you’re pretty, which is obvious to Yixing, now that he looks. Especially with your lips parted like that, eyes wide with excitement.

Yixing swallows, looking down at his desk. “Any molecule,” he confirms dully, writing his name at the top of the page.

You settle into your seat, about to respond – as the professor enters, drawing your attention back to the board. For the next sixty minutes, you don’t speak but Yixing sees in the corner of his eyes that you’re staring. He tries not to look, feeling as though he’s being horrifyingly obvious about this, but it’s hard when you’re being so determinedly not subtle. Yixing would laugh, if he weren’t so annoyed.

When a note lands on his desk, Yixing looks up. Arching a brow, you nod for him to continue when he unfurls the paper. Your words are cramped, handwriting small and Yixing squints, bringing this close to his face. Bless this decade and the invention of contact lenses.

Does this mean you change your appearance often?

Yixing leans – scribbling furiously, on the edge of his desk. When he throws the note back, he doesn’t bother being gentle and you catch this, uncrumpling the note to scan his barely-there sentence he’s written.

I’m not just changing my appearance – I’m changing myself, changing my molecules.

Frowning, you let your hair make a curtain leaning lean forward. “So, how old are you truly?” you whisper back.

Yixing looks up in surprise, since it normally takes people much longer than that to catch on. At his expression, you smirk, sinking back in your seat. The next note you write is slow, drawn-out and Yixing waits patiently – hating the fact that he cares at all. The second he thinks this, Yixing backtracks. He doesn’t care, not really. He’s just interested. Caring leads to feelings, which inevitably leads to Yixing getting hurt.

If you hear this thought, you don’t show it. The next note you write is tossed sideways with equal abandon.

I’m Y/N. My power is telepathy, I’m an Anomaly. I’m allergic to peanuts and live in fear of other telepaths, despite it being my power. I thought you should know something about me, since I took knowledge accidentally from you.

For just a moment, Yixing looks at the paper. It feels warm, folded neatly between fingertips and slowly, he sets this down on the table. Before he can respond though, the professor at the front clears his throat. “Your essays are due next Wednesday,” he reminds, shuffling his papers. “I suggest you stop by office hours if you have questions – I’m happy to provide additional resources. That is all, see you next class.”

All around him, people are standing. Yixing remains seated, fist closed tight around the note that you sent. You’re bright, cheerful – full of breath and air and life, only serving to remind Yixing of the things he is not. Slowly, he stands. “Thank you for making things even,” he allows, inclining his head. “I’m not looking to get to know anyone like that, though. Thank you.”

He leaves. Brushing past and ignoring the tiny inhale of breath you make, halfway between hurt and confusion. He knows you weren’t expecting him to say that and honestly, Yixing doesn’t blame you.

Most people don’t understand his walls and his boundaries. Most don’t understand this carefully cultivated façade – one reinforced over decades, with the sole intention of keeping him safe. His walls keep Yixing whole because as lovely as love is, as warm as those feelings are – the pain, agony which follows, when they die and Yixing does not – this, he knows to be one thousand times worse.

Pushing open the door, Yixing steps out onto the pavement. It’s winter, that dreary period after the holidays when the air is cold and you feel as though you might never become warm again. Yixing’s breath puffs in the air, hands sliding into pockets as he walks quickly down and across the quad. Classes have been in session for several weeks, meaning Yixing isn’t sure why today was the first time he saw you.

It took courage, when you spoke to him. Thinking this, Yixing’s insides deflate and he kicks loosely at a stone on the ground. He’s never been that great with physical observation. Day to day life changes quickly, it’s hard for him to keep up. The big things always stay the same, he reasons. War, famine, poverty, anger – these things never change, even if the news comes by TV, radio, or carrier pigeon. Everything else, everything else Yixing sees, he considers white noise.

Not for the first time, Yixing wonders why he bothers. For someone as old as he is, as indestructible as he is – Yixing already knows most of what is taught in school. He knows beyond that, meaning he really should be the one teaching, rather than learning. When the letter came in the mail though, offering him a chance at free education – Yixing couldn’t bring himself to pass.

If there’s one thing he loves, it’s learning. The desire to understand is one thing which has stood the test of time. It’s this, that propels Yixing forward, which encourages him to care. Humans exhibit a remarkable tenacity to grow and learn and be. They’re curious – even for the answers they don’t yet understand. Yixing supposes he should include himself in this category, but it’s hard. For so long now, Yixing has considered himself an outsider.

Knowledge is easier to understand than humans. Knowledge is comprised of facts and Yixing feels no special attachment to facts, is not insulted if they change. People are an entirely different matter. Walking somewhat faster, Yixing curls his fingers around the spine of the note – unable to stop wondering why he took it. He can’t help but wonder why he cares and it’s this that brings a slow, sinking certainty to his thoughts.

Yixing has loved many times over the years, but the last one was most painful of all. She was a fighter, determined to make a difference and for the cause she loved, she gave her life. She fought for equality, at a time there was none; demanded a voice, when no one would listen. It was at a rally, when she died. Back in the 60’s, in a time of dissent: a man, a gun and a singular, errant shot. She died in the capitol, in what should have been the heart of freedom and that was the day Yixing stopped caring – that was the day he swore never again, to let another in.

Yixing has stubbornly kept his vow. He’s kept it throughout peace and prosperity, through uncertainty and war. Never since, has Yixing fallen in love. Never since, has he cared – until today. Until now, with your questioning gaze and the ability to see through him. Crumpling your note further, Yixing continues to walk. It doesn’t do, he tells himself, to dwell on what could’ve been.

Even while thinking this, a strain of uncertainty enters his thoughts. It doesn’t do to dwell on what could have been, yes but if nothing ever happens – can one call that life a success?

Yixing doesn’t know if he has an answer for that.

It’s nearly a month later, he sees you. Aside from your class, since Yixing sees you there twice a week, every week – though in class, you sit pointedly away from him, on the opposite side of the room. There, you remain focused on the board. Listening, leaning, raising your hand whenever you have an answer. This shouldn’t be an unusual occurrence in a classroom full of students but somehow, Yixing always finds that it is.

When you have ideas, you speak. When you don’t, you listen. Your laugh is quick, perhaps a tad too loud but never disingenuous – something Yixing also finds to be a rarity. Your style of clothing is classic, though every now and again you wear something which makes him stare – and Yixing wonders continuously if maybe that’s the point. Because he stares quite a lot now. His gaze is continuously drawn to your corner, bothersome to him for many reasons. Not in the least because nothing good can come of this.

Yixing knows you can read his thoughts. He knows that you could if you wanted but somehow, doesn’t think that you do. He thinks that you block him, the exact same way he did you and this frustrates Yixing, more than he realizes. He acts as though he doesn’t care, but continues to notice. Continues to look your way and now that he has, Yixing can’t seem to stop.

It must be why he sees you, walking home from the library. Yixing was studying before this, holed up in a great stack on the upper floor no one visits. His reading kept being interrupted though, by the presence of a certain visiting professor. He barged into on the make-out corner, again and again as he yelled with his bullhorn to chase errant students away. After the third such instance, Yixing pushes himself to stand. He doesn’t blame the professor. The man is just trying to preserve the sanctity of the library – a cause Yixing fervently agrees with.

Scooping up his books and slinging his backpack on, Yixing makes his way outside. It’s not a long walk to his apartment but the path between here and there is entirely dark. Barely even a streetlight to guard against the fears of the night.

He’s ten minutes into his walk when he sees you. You’re standing alone, practically motionless – just your profile visible from the streetlamp above. Still, Yixing sees you tense and when you lower your body to a defensive position – Yixing notices the two other figures behind you.

They approach quickly, one on either side and Yixing’s heart sinks quickly down to his stomach. Almost without thinking, he’s removing his gloves. Shoving them haphazardly into pockets as he bends, breaking out in a jog. He doesn’t think, doesn’t stop to consider anything besides, stop, stop, please stop. You’re too fragile, too delicate – and perhaps it’s wrong of him, to think this. Yixing has never seen you fight, he doesn’t know how you are. To Yixing though, everyone he cares for is delicate. Everyone he loves is tenuous, and Yixing is all too aware how easily things are broken.

The first attacker teleports. They disappear, reappearing behind you – and you duck, blending neatly into the night. You’re reading their thoughts, Yixing realizes. Seeing their pattern a split-second before they do, anticipating their next move with your own. You’re quick – so fast you don’t see the second attacker coming. Their arm slams straight into your chest, sending their power of electricity coursing through you.

Your head rears when you scream, noise splitting the night as your knees slam, hard, to the pavement. Your entire body jerks, scrambling to move – and Yixing arrives on the scene. He says nothing, not announcing his presence while quickly and smoothly dismantling the fight. Yixing’s anger has always been a cold, hard thing. It spirals through his veins, freezing his thoughts as he slams a hole in the ground.

The pavement cracks, sinking while the second attacker teeters on the edge. She flails wildly before falling, Yixing leaping in after. Grabbing her body, he uses his other hand to shove a wall of gravel between you and the first attacker – pushing them easily aside, as his hold tightens around the girl’s neck. Her fighting weakens, fading into unconsciousness while Yixing lowers her gently to the ground.

When he hops from the pit, ready for more – he finds to his surprise, the teleporter hasn’t moved. Instead the man scowls, pushing back his hood to reveal –

“Professor Tuttle?” Yixing takes a step back, confused.

The martial arts professor crosses his arms over his chest. “What in the hell,” he asks, relatively calm, “are you doing, young man?’

Yixing stares back, breathing heavily since the wall he made was quite difficult. As he flounders, struggling to think of an explanation – you step into place beside him.

“You,” you hiss, steam practically rising from your ears. “What were you thinking, interrupting my midterm? You know this will lower my final grade, don’t you?”

Yixing looks back, expression dazed. “I’m sorry,” he bows, before turning to face the professor. He keeps his head low, ashamed. “I didn’t realize. I thought the student was being unfairly attacked.”

After a long moment of silence, Yixing looks up – only to find the professor pursing his lips. “I appreciate the honor you showed, Yixing. I assure you though, Y/N had the situation fully under control.”

Despite Yixing’s personal thoughts on this matter, he nods. It didn’t look as though you had everything under control. But then he falters, considering he may have misjudged. Perhaps you were fine, and he just overlaid his own fears over yours. Perhaps Yixing was thinking of past mistakes, times when he didn’t act fast enough – times when he trusted too much, and ended up paying the ultimate price.

Though Yixing’s chest squeezes uncomfortably, he nods his head. “Understood,” he says curtly. “I apologize, for the intrusion.”

When he looks at you, you hold your chin high. After a long moment of silence, you nod. “Apology accepted.”

“Good,” Professor Tuttle claps, rubbing his hands against the cold. “Then, I suggest we wake Professor Ahn. We can reschedule your midterm, Y/N, for another day.”

You wince but nod, since this is better than expected. As Professor Tuttle hops into the pit, Yixing turns to go – surprised, when you reach out to touch his arm. He looks down, finding you your gaze oddly steady. Your expression is curious, not containing any of the anger he expected.

“You said you didn’t want to be friends,” you ask, tilting your head. “Said you didn’t want anything of the kind, so why did you try and save me?”

For a moment, Yixing considers telling the truth – then he sighs, pushing this notion away. The truth would make him sound better than he is, and Yixing doesn’t want you to think this. “I’m just a concerned citizen,” he responds stiffly, turning away.

“Who’s the woman?” you call out, stopping Yixing dead in his tracks.

A pang echoes his body, realizing you saw. You saw her face in his thoughts, and Yixing inadvertently grits his teeth before whirling around. “None of your business,” he snaps. “She’s no one – not anymore.”

Immediately, Yixing regrets his tone. It’s not your fault, none of this is. He expects you to be offended, appalled by his anger – so he’s surprised, when you continue to hold your ground. You stare back at him, eyes heavy with understanding. “I’m sorry,” you say simply – then exhale, turning around. “I’m sorry you lost someone,” your words are carried back to him on the breeze, “so have I, and I know it’s not easy.”

Both your voice and footsteps fade to nothing, a dull hollow on the brick of the alley. Yixing stares after you, surprised to find himself feeling… alone. He’s always alone, but rarely feels it – being lonely is a much different sensation. For the first time in the long time, the numbness which swallows him, feels like a burden rather than gift.

In the following weeks, Yixing thinks about you more than he’d like. Of course, his preference would be not to think of you at all – so it’s necessary to take his feelings with a grain of salt. His interest in you though, can no longer be contained to just a classroom. Now, Yixing searches for you wherever he goes. He looks for you in the dining hall, the quad, each time he enters the library. He scans each site eagerly, hoping to see your face or hear your laugh.

Strangely enough, he never sees you. Perhaps this isn’t unusual, since you’re a telepath. You can hear him coming, and might be using his thoughts to avoid him. It’s weeks later, before Yixing finally sees you face to face.

Every few months, Yixing is struck by a strange desire to be near people. Not in an outgoing kind of way, but in an observational manner. It’s days like these when he goes into the town, picks a random restaurant and eats alone.

As Yixing walks through the door, he wonders if this is sad. Wonders if he’s thinking of life wrong, by ignoring the idea of pain. When he looks back on his greatest sorrows – Yixing is correct, they all have to do with love. But then, extending the same train of thought – so do his times of greatest happiness. Solitude is a peaceful kind of joy; the quiet comfort of books, tea, sweatpants. Another miraculous invention of humanity, the sweatpants.

Solitude isn’t brilliant, though. It is not vivid happiness, that which arrives by being loved – it’s not the wild, tumultuous joy of being seen. Heard. His happiest moments were caused by others, by the voices of friends and family and Yixing wonders then if he’s wrong, to keep that vow he once made.

Just as he’s thinking this, he looks up – and sees you staring.

You’re sitting, fork frozen halfway to your mouth as he pauses in shaking his napkin out in his lap. You’re at the table opposite – two chairs empty between the two of you. You look beautiful, Yixing thinks. Hair curled, a very pretty dress on your body. You’re also alone, it seems. There’s no place set across from you, just the salad before you. As you take a bite, chewing determinedly, Yixing reaches out over his table.

He doesn’t look away, as he brings his glass of water to his lips. When he watches, arching a brow, you sink slowly back in your seat. Saying nothing, as the next twenty minutes go by. Yixing exhales, deciding to test your powers.

I like your dress, he offers.

Your shoulders stiffen, and Yixing watches you tense. You seem to steel yourself then before nodding – just once, not meeting his gaze.

Yixing almost smiles. He cuts into his chicken, bringing a piece to his lips. You were right, he admits, falling quiet once more. He rehearses, reciting the many words he wants to say to you – then stops, wondering if you can hear this recitation as well. It’s true, I’ve lost someone. I’ve lost many someone’s, over the past millennia.

Lips tightening, you don’t dare respond. You merely take another sip, setting your glass back upon the table.

It’s why I didn’t want to get to know you. I can’t stand knowing, only to have you ripped away – it’s happened too often. I made a vow not to let it happen again. Yixing stops thinking then, smoothing his fingers out across the table.

Rather than think with words, Yixing just hopes you see him as he does. He hopes you see the image of yourself because to him, you’re stunning. Your throat curves elegantly away from the light, dark eyelashes spilled over cheekbones. Fingers held taut on top of the tablecloth – Yixing swallows. He can’t let you see that, can’t let you know what he’d like those fingertips to do.

You look up though, cheeks aflame and Yixing realizes you’ve heard. He sees that you’ve seen and rather than be embarrassed, he doesn’t look away. Yixing stares back, reaching out again with his mind.

What if, he pauses. What if we tried to be friends?

Lifting your brows, you very nearly smile. Yixing frowns, not needing to read minds to know what you’re thinking.

Just because I want that, he clarifies. Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

Your answering gaze is mischievous – and Yixing knows it’s because you don’t agree. He rolls his eyes, shrugging a shoulder. That’s all I’m offering. Take it, or leave it.

Expression softening, you become serious when you open your mouth. “Yes,” you respond aloud, and Yixing stifles his smile.

Being friends turns out to be partly annoying and mostly enjoyable. The annoying bit, is how often you force Yixing to socialize. Dragging him to parties, making him sit in the common spaces of dorms. Yixing does so hesitantly, having not seen the inside of a dorm room in years.

You introduce him to a lot of people, insisting Yixing can’t hate everyone – much to his surprise, he finds out that he doesn’t. He becomes close friends to Minseok – although come to think of it, you weren’t the facilitator of that friendship. You’d barely spoken to Minseok, when Yixing reached out a hand.

Minseok is feared on campus, a fact to which Yixing takes offense. He has a similar power, so he decides to offer him what help he can. Minseok is different though, in that he can create something from nothing – an addition Yixing has never seen before but finds interesting and intriguing enough to learn. It’s nice, he finds, to have people able to understand him. It’s nice, he remembers, to have people who see past, who understand, his façade. Minseok does, Minseok understands and slowly, Yixing’s circle of acquaintances grows.

He also makes friends with Sehun – someone you introduce him to, as Sehun is dating a friend of yours from the dorm. Yixing doesn’t expect to like Sehun, since he’s even quieter than himself – and is pleasantly surprised, at how quickly they bond. Mostly in video games and reading – for Yixing, this means novels and for Sehun, comics. He even loans some to Yixing who, despite having previously spurned the genre, becomes hopelessly entrenched in the Watchmen series. It’s darker than he thought it’d be, the alternate spin on current events intriguing.

Sehun laughs often, since Yixing keeps getting tangled up in impossibilities. “No, no, no,” Yixing exhales, jabbing angrily at the page. “I saw a timeline to this effect years ago. It was in Europe and believe me – this war wouldn’t have been won, not in that way. Ah,” he exhales, hair falling into his eyes. “I appreciate the creativity from this artist, but come on.”

Sehun tosses another issue his way. “Have another,” he grins, before returning to his pages.

Your room as well, becomes all too familiar. You’re a haven in the middle of campus and likewise, you spend entirely too much time in Yixing’s apartment. Flopping aimlessly down on his couch, stomach flat against the cushions while you rest your chin upon his armrest. Flicking past each channel on TV, complaining loudly about how Yixing has yet to upgrade to color. “It’s 1986,” you whine, when he sinks beside you on the couch.

Easing closer, so as not to disturb you – Yixing realizes this doesn’t matter, when you rearrange your head on his lap. Yixing rolls his eyes but doesn’t attempt to move. He likes the weight of you there, despite his protests.

“What?” you blink, staring at the TV. “Your lap is comfier than the couch. That’s all.”

Even though he should, Yixing doesn’t push you away. He knows this is bad, since your head is entirely too close for comfort. It’s exhausting, trying to hide his thoughts from you. He knows you’re friends, nothing more – it’s what he wanted, what he asked for. Yixing reminds himself of this daily and yet, he wants it. He wants this, wants you – and freezes, when you turn to look at him.

Your eyes are wide, innocent – and Yixing groans out loud. “Don’t,” he chastises, gritting his teeth. “Don’t you dare read my mind.”

You just grin, pushing higher. You must be aware – must be – of how amazing your breasts look, from this angle. You must know Yixing is fighting for control. Fighting to control his breath, his body, his goddamn thoughts.

It’s too much, which is why it’s unsurprising, when one slips through. When you suck in a breath, Yixing realizes you’ve seen. Just an image, one Yixing quickly snaps back – but it’s too late, it’s done. You’ve seen yourself naked, his head between your legs. Pinning you to his bed as he makes you come, over and over –

Yixing is aware, then of the tension. The room is thick with it, a needy sensation winding its way between your legs. You want him to reach for you, to settle you onto his lap, to weave his hands in your hair – and gently, Yixing pushes you away. He stands from the couch, struggling to conceal his boner while walking awkwardly into the bathroom. “Be right back,” he grunts, hastily shutting the door.

Leaning his head against the frame, Yixing wonders if the two of you have an expiration date. Eventually, there will come a moment when the pain of being with him is more painful than not. You’ll leave then, since Yixing is incapable of giving you what you need. As he opens his eyes, Yixing freely exhales. You should leave. You should give yourself to someone who wants you, someone who can give themselves back to you entirely.

Every time Yixing tries to, every time he attempts to break his rules – he’s crushed by the memory of last time, the last time he failed. The knot in his stomach tightens, since he wants to move past this. He wants to be past the guilt, the nausea, the horrible fear of feeling something again. He wants this so badly, but heartbreak isn’t something you can count on a timer. Some holes in life don’t heal, some pain is consuming, even after many centuries. Yixing might forget a face, might forget a voice – but never, does he forget those he loved. Love is transcendent of time, space. Each time it ends, it’s harder to open himself up again.

Exhaling, when Yixing finally opens the door – and finds you gone.

When Yixing leaves the next morning, he doesn’t expect you to be there. He expects you to avoid him and despite the void he feels at the thought, he doesn’t blame you. He’s the one pushing you away. He’s the one rejecting you – this can only happen so many times, before you leave.

Yixing knows what he feels. He knows this, with the certainty of the sea knowing the moon. Eased and turned and nudged in a direction – new and confusing, but also not. If feels as though you’ve been there, since the beginning of time, just waiting for him to look up.

Each time Yixing has fallen in love, it’s been different. Some were dark, burning, consuming desires – these loves drained him, swallowed him whole. These ravaged him in dark spaces, burnt through his skin to emerge, smothered and broken on the other side. This kind of love is pleasurable, but hollow. It mostly ends in tragedy, with heartbreak and Yixing has little patience for this kind of love anymore.

The other love is gentler. These kinds grow from nothing, twisting and unfurling until they stand tall, before him. Sometimes this is less exciting – but always, it is stronger. You are somehow both. You are both garden and flame, haven and fear and Yixing can’t quite reconcile your contradiction. When he sees you, he softens and when he touches, he smolders.

Yixing is afraid of losing you. He��s afraid of losing you, but he’s more afraid of having you entirely, because if he loses you then – Yixing thinks this might destroy him. It’s why, when he descends the stairs and sees you waiting, his heart skips a beat in his chest.

You look up, meeting his gaze. “Ready for class?” you ask, oddly calm.

When you move to leave, Yixing follows. He’s unsure if he should ask, about last night. Maybe he should check, confirm everything is okay – that the two of you are still friends, that you’re both in agreement of the situation. For a moment, Yixing wishes he could read your mind. He wants to give up his power – even more than usual – he wants, against all better judgement, to have yours. He wants to know inside your mind, to understand who you are at your core.

It’s a gift, he thinks, that you know him and stay. You hear his deepest thoughts, darkest secrets – and for some reason, want to continue. This is one thing Yixing can’t fathom. He wishes to know you like that, to offer the same kind of gift.

Slowly, you look his way. “I’ll wait,” you say softly, before changing the topic. You ask him about an upcoming exam – Yixing barely can process, given the thing you just said. He answers automatically, around the shock of your previous statement and the two of you lapse into conversation.

When he’s home though, when he’s alone and re-reading Sehun’s comic for the seventeenth time – he remembers. And, setting his pages down in his lap, Yixing wonders. He wonders how long you’ll be willing to wait.

Though you pretend it’s fine, Yixing notices your changes. You used to touch easily, touch happily – now your hand withdraws, before you get that far. You meet his gaze only to look away, as though scared he’ll see you and understand what you’re thinking. You’re scared of mind readers, Yixing remembers from your note.

This continues for days, as Yixing grows more and more impatient. Not with you, but with himself. He keeps pushing you away, trying to alleviate one set of fears – only to give rise to new ones, ones which might be worse than before. You’re walking home from class one day, chatting about nothing when Yixing stops suddenly on the sidewalk.

“Want to come over to my place, tonight?” he asks, and you falter ahead of him.

Slowly, you turn to look at him. This is the first contact Yixing has initiated. The first time he’s asked you over – it’s always you, doing the asking and Yixing begrudgingly accepting. After a long moment your expression falters, uncertain what he means – uncertain what to do, given his invitation. Reaching out his hand, Yixing quietly takes yours. He looks down, urging you silently to accept his offering.

Looking at your fingers, interlaced together, you seem to make a decision. “Yes,” you breathe, then pull away.

All around you, the winter melts into spring. The days are lengthening, and walking to his place you find this fact blazingly clear. Beneath your feet, the sidewalk is damp, wet with the runoff of snow and ice and Yixing glances sideways, taking in your face as he considers what now.

Back in his apartment, you don’t sink onto his couch as you used to. You sit ramrod straight, drawing your knees up to your chest to nod at the TV. “What do you want to watch,” you ask, clearing your throat. “Something awful, where I won’t mind seeing it in non-color.”

You’re kidding, a half-smile curving your lips and when he realizes this, Yixing starts to laugh. The sound is easy, happy – and Yixing realizes then, how seldom he’s heard it. How little he’s laughed, over the past decades, and this is the moment he decides. He wants to laugh, again.

Something in your expression changes, looking up at him. Yixing wonders if you’ve heard, wonders if you know. Gently, you nod and Yixing blinks, heart faltering. When you lean into him, stopping just a breath away from his lips – Yixing pauses, hands sliding gently beneath the slant of your chin.

“Yixing,” you exhale. “I don’t want to be just friends.”

Yixing nods. His fears creep upwards, filled with sudden doubt and uncertainty – but he quietly, gently pushes this aside. “Okay,” he whispers, before his lips claim yours.

You open your mouth, heart hammering as his thumb traces gently over a cheekbone. When he pulls away, eyes glazed, you blush at the sight of his face. Yixing’s skin is feverish and you stare at him shocked, before crushing your lips to his.

Yixing groans, lost in the feel of you. One of your legs bends between his, pressing hastily as he fumbles to grab onto your hips. Yixing moves you higher, grunting as you somehow manage to land smack in his lap. His eyes widen, staring upwards – he teeters precariously on the edge, the precipice of a moment he isn’t willing to break.

Your eyes soften. Pushing a hand through his hair, you slowly bring his lips to yours. “Yixing,” you exhale, the sound wildfire in his veins.

It turns Yixing into someone weak and needy – someone longing for your touch, unsatisfied by anything else. He crushes your lips to his, since before, he was gentle. Before, he was uncertain. This has been replaced by the fervent idea of never having wanted anything so badly as he does you.

Rolling his hips, he pushes himself upwards and you let out a tiny mewl, feeling him harden. Yixing strains against his jeans, pressed to your center as your nails dig mercilessly into his back. Yixing opens your mouth with his, kissing hungrily. His tongue needy, hot while you inch his shirt higher.

It’s the first time you’ve kissed – Yixing tries to remind himself of this, tries to remember to take thins slow. On the other hand, this moment has been building for months. He’s been thinking of you for so long now, and so have you. You waited for him, you waited for this – and Yixing reasons the two of you have waited long enough.

Standing suddenly, he takes you with. Locking both legs around his waist, kissing you eagerly as he moves into his bedroom. Yixing sets you on top of his bed, taking a step back to watch for a moment. He stares – your legs spread, lips parted. “Strip,” he demands, quiet. “I want to see you.”

Your eyes darken as you obey, lifting your shirt overhead to drop onto the ground. Next are your jeans – these catch at your ankles, before you kick these and your socks to the floor. Yixing takes off his shirt in response, hands sliding down to his belt as you reach to unhook your bra.

When this disappears, Yixing feels his cock twitch with pleasure. He wants his mouth on your body, wants to lick and suck and tease, until you’re wanton beneath him. Gasping his name and pushing upwards – you inhale quickly, seeing his trail of his thoughts.

Leaning back, you ease your panties down to spread your legs. Yixing groans at the sight. “Ah, fuck,” he murmurs, pushing his jeans to the floor. His cock is hard, tented at the front of his boxers and when he kneels, you reach out for him – stroking his length, between the crux of his thighs.

“You’re so hard,” you exhale, rubbing the tip of him through his cotton. “Is that from the things you’ve been imagining, from the things you want to do to me?”

Yixing nods, swallowing when you ease his boxers lower. Pushing them down as his cock springs up, hard against his stomach. “Baby,” he whispers, and you look upwards.

Softening, you lean back on his sheets. Spreading your legs further, so he can see how wet you are. How wet he’s made you. “What do you want first?” you whisper, and Yixing hesitates.

Eventually, he wants this to be slow. Eventually, he wants to devour you whole, hands on every inch of you but right now, you’ve been waiting for so long. Right now, all Yixing wants to do is make you come. Lowering himself between your thighs, his hands move carefully from your knees to your hips. When his tongue finds your sex, tracing over you skillfully, you moan. Hands fisting in the sheets, as he gently sucks on your clit.

Yixing smiles, flattening his tongue and dragging upwards. He teases, alternating between small licks and kisses while you whimper his name. Edging your body with a finger until you’re writhing and then slowly, easing this finger inside you. He moves slowly, leisurely – moving faster, when his lips start to suck.

You gasp, barely articulating – and Yixing splays a hand on your stomach, keeping you still as your body tenses. He feels your body tighten, clenching his finger while he swears against your sex, imagining you clenching around his dick like that. Then you release, orgasm shuddering through you, Yixing’s tongue easing you down. Tracing gentle circles, as your body slowly responds.

When you open your eyes, spent and blissful – Yixing lifts an eyebrow. “Done?” he asks, and you softly shake your head.

“I want you inside me,” you whisper, pushing yourself up on your elbows.

Nodding, Yixing remains serious as he reaches for the table. He finds the condoms he bought you himself – stating bluntly it was stupid, for you not to be protected. Opening one with his teeth, Yixing rolls this quickly onto himself. He watches you watch him, gaze lidded while you stare at the length of his cock. When Yixing bends, opening your legs with his own – you nudge your center gently against him.

Yixing hisses, as you rub your wetness up and down. He moves closer, spreading your folds with his tip – not entering, just rubbing his dick against your clit. You gasp, moaning is his name and Yixing decides not to waste any more time.

He moves slow, pushing his cock into your body. Halfway in he stops, breath tight in his throat because you feel so fucking good. So warm and wet and tight for him and it’s been so long since he cared at all. Yixing’s hands slide to your ass, lifting your hips as he enters you fully.

“Yixing,” you whimper, burying your head in the crook of his neck.

Yixing stays like that for a second, before pulling away. He pushes back into you, feeling you open, feeling you move and hardly able to bear it. Your chest, thighs, body are pressed to his. Legs wrapped around him, while Yixing struggles to hold himself together.

He knows you’re still sensitive, so his fingers slide gently over your clit. Teasing in circles, while his cock moves in and out of you, below. Yixing rolls his hips and when he notices you tense, hears your sudden intake of breath – he pulls out, slamming his cock inside you. His hips cause your breasts to bounce – a perfect, round motion that has Yixing losing his mind.

He doesn’t stop, fucking into you with total abandon. Body reaching for yours, pressing himself to anywhere he can find. Hands twining in your hair, braced taut against the bed, tracing your body, your clit, your peaked, hardened nipple. It’s hard to concentrate, to be aware of anything but his pleasure and need and lovefor you.

Groaning aloud, your head tips back. Opening your eyes, you’re slightly dazed and starry. “You love me?” you whisper, while he fucks you against the headboard.

Yixing grits his teeth and nods, because what else is there? He loves you, he needs you and he isn’t afraid anymore. Whimpering, your hands wind into his hair as you bring your lips to his ear. “I love you, too,” you whisper and Yixing shudders.

His body tenses as he comes – rubbing your clit quickly, slick with your arousal as you gasp, body tightening when you once more, come undone. You moan, collapsing into him and when you finally look back up – Yixing thinks the sight might be worth any pain he could suffer.

Pulling himself out, Yixing gently cleans you. When he’s done he settles beside you, laying his head down on his pillow and pulling you close. His fingers dance lazily across skin, sliding up and down your torso as you smile, hair spread out on the pillow.

“I’m sorry you waited,” Yixing allows, scanning your face. “I’m sorry, it took me so long to catch up.”

“It’s okay,” you murmur, drawing him closer. “It was worth it. This is worth it.”

[Exordia Academy Master List]

[bighound-littlebird]

The Alarm that Never Sounded: GOT's treatment of the SanSan Romance

by Miodrag Zarkovic

Originally posted here.

When adapting female characters from ASOIAF into the TV show "Game of thrones", David Benioff and Dan Weiss aren't unlike Robert Baratheon: if they can't disrobe it, they're bored with it. Their rendition of Melisandre, for example, isn't an intimidating and imposing practitioner of dark and supernatural powers, but rather a seductress who's able to make people obey her only if she rewards them with sex (Stannis, Gendry) or gold (Brotherhood without Banners). One more example would be their rendition of Margaery Tyrell, who was turned from a teenage girl with a perfect facade and somewhat mysterious foundation, into a promiscuous lady willing to do anything – even have sex with both her brother and her husband simultaneously, as she proposes to the latter in Season 2 – in order to achieve her personal political ambitions that are literally limitless.

With that in mind, Sansa Stark never had a chance to be properly adapted in the show created by D&D. Now, the word 'properly' has a rather wide range of possible meanings, and this essay will attempt to examine at least some of them, but, for now, let's say that the most obvious aspect in which TV Sansa was shorthanded is her screen time. In "A Clash of Kings", the book that was the basis for the Season 2 of GoT, Sansa's POV chapters, along with Tyrion's, are the only ones that depict what's happening in King's Landing, the capital of The Seven Kingdoms and the center of political power in the story. This goes for the first two thirds of "A Storm of Swords" as well, e.g. until the moment Sansa escapes from King's Landing. In short, her chapters couldn't help but be of paramount importance in the narrative sense. In the show, however, Sansa's significance is greatly decreased, and not only because the show doesn't follow the "POV structure" of the novels, but because she's reduced to nothing but a prized captive for the Lannisters.

Yes, TV Sansa is a minor, and she's played by a minor, named Sophie Turner. Her age, due to the laws that forbid the usage of underage children in explicit sex scenes, prevented D&D from using Sansa in a way they adore. And her age couldn't be drastically changed without drastic consequences on her overall arc which is, in ACOK at least, built around her first period. That's why, for example, D&D couldn't cast Natalie Dormer – one of their favorite ASOIAF characters, by the way, because they did alter Margaery to suit the actress, instead of the other way around – in the role of Sansa, because Dormer, while certainly looking younger than she is, could never pass as a minor.

And that would probably be the only thing that makes Sansa off-limits for Natalie Dormer, or some other actress D&D adore, to play her in D&D's adaptation. Everything else would've been doable. Had George R. R. Martin not put her first period in the books, Sansa's age, promiscuity, vocabulary, even wardrobe, would've been changed accordingly to suit D&D's vision of a progressive Westerosi woman, which means the first three would've been amplified, while the fourth one – wardrobe – would definitely be reduced and freed from all the unnecessary parts. She'd probably even hook up with some rogue brute at some point; when she'd find the time for him, that is; after she's done with Joff, Tyrion, Lancel, and god knows who else, she'd certainly figure out cynical killers can occupy her bed just as good as other available men can.

Speaking of cynical killers – enter Sandor Clegane. One more character that, alas, couldn't be played by Natalie Dormer, and therefore not of particular interest to D&D. Sandor in the novels is a truly memorable fellow, who slowly but steadily grows in readers' eyes as the story progresses. At the beginning, he's nothing more than a merciless brute used only for killing people Lannisters want dead. Very soon, however, a reader finds out there might be some traces of soul under that rough surface. More and more we find out about Sandor, more and more intriguing and understandable he gets. Even – more likable.

Now, what makes him likable? The stories Littlefinger tells to Sansa?! Of course not. The stories Sandor himself keeps telling to Sansa are what fleshes him to the extent that was probably impossible to predict at the beginning of the series. Through his conversations with Sansa, we find out every important thing there is to know about him. Later on, when he hangs up with Arya, Sandor is already a fully developed character, whom we aren't discovering any more, but rather following. And he became like that precisely through his exchanges with Sansa.

The show went the other way, and a pretty odd way, at that. D&D decided it was better for Littlefinger to deliver the story of how Sandor's face got burned, and that decision carries some very serious consequences in regards to characterization. For example, Littlefinger appears as someone who does know the secrets of King's Landing, but, at the same time, as someone who doesn't hesitate to share those secrets with persons he doesn't have any control over. Yes, he warns Sansa not to tell anyone about the story; but, he warns her because, and here comes the funny part – Sandor is going to kill her.

Now, why isn't Littlefinger afraid Sandor's going to kill him? After all, isn't that the logical question because it's Littlefinger who offers Sandor's secrets to others? It seems there are only two possible answers: 1) Sandor is not that scary and dangerous as Littlefinger claims, or 2) Sandor is a dangerous fellow, but Littlefinger is the bravest individual alive, because he goes around telling the secrets of people that physically can literally eat him for breakfast; and he isn't shy even, because he doesn't fail to warn Sansa how dangerous is the situation he himself dares so boldly.

Whatever conclusion a viewer draws from there, something is going to be radically changed from the source material. Quite possibly, in fact, a lot of things are going to be altered. After the said scene, both Littlefinger and Sandor are drastically different than their book origins. And the characters we ended up with in the show, are not nearly as complex and intriguing as their book counterparts. This is especially true for Sandor, who's nothing if not scary and dangerous. He is supposed to frighten the living hell out of everyone who isn't his older brother. If you take that away from Sandor, you're only left with his tender side.

But, even his tender side was almost entirely removed from the show. This time, not only by Littlefinger, but also by Tyrion: in the throne room, when Joff orders Kingsguards to undress Sansa, Sandor stands there silently. His face expression suggests he isn't pleased with what he sees, but that's it. He doesn't stand up to his king with firm "That's enough" as in the book. It is therefore on Tyrion exclusively to deny Joffrey the pleasure of torturing the girl whose only crime was that she saw him in a moment of unflattering weakness. As in the books, TV Tyrion enters the room with his sellsword and he defends Sansa from Joff, but the important difference is that in the show it looks like Tyrion is the only one both willing to oppose Joffrey and capable of doing it. In the novel, we can sense that Sandor is ready to do the same thing, only, in his case, it comes with a much bigger risk, which is not without importance.

So, in this particular case, Sandor was sacrificed for the sake of TV Tyrion. TV Littlefinger, however, wasn't forgotten in that regard, because, once again, he's fed with lines that originally belong to Sandor. In the finale of the second season, it is Littlefinger who tells Sansa to look around and see how much better than her all those liars are. Just as the last time around, this change serves neither Littlefinger nor Sandor: the former's creepy-mentoring side is exposed much earlier than it would be logical, while the latter is robbed of yet another moment in which he shows how much he cares for Sansa and how protective he is toward her.

Sansa is a case on its own, as far as wrong adaptations are concerned. She's in the league with her mother Catelyn Stark, as two Stark women that were literally butchered in the show. The thing two of them have in common is the nature of their complexity: opposite to other female characters in ASOIAF, like Dany or Arya or Asha or Brienne or Cersei, Cat and Sansa aren't interested in hurting their enemies with their own hands, or, in the case of Dany, with her own dragons (this goes for Cersei, too, even though she's the one ordering the suffering of others, not committing it: her aggression is always personal, as we can sense in the first three novels). And, what's more, Sansa isn't interested in hurting anyone, actually. Cat does have an aggressive side in her; it's female aggression all the way, but aggression it is. Sansa, on the other hand, almost never desires other people to suffer in any way. There's only one noticeable exception: Joffrey. She does think on one or two occasions how nice it would be if Robb put a sword in Joff, and, by extension, she wishes Lannisters are defeated in the war against her family. However, we have to consider the situation she finds herself in at those moments – imprisoned by the Lannisters and at Joff's 'mercy' all the time; small miracle she wishes them ill. I've never been a girl arrested by the grave enemies of my family, but if I was, I'd definitely pray for their most horrible deaths every single night. And, we have to remember that, after Joff's death, she fails to feel happy over it, even though she tries to a little.

Therefore, it maybe isn't a stretch to say Sansa is probably the one character that is most unlike the author himself. Other major characters, especially POV ones, do resemble Martin at least partially. For males, it's obvious: even though GRRM never fought in a war, nor had any military training whatsoever, men are men; even in our day and age, no male is a complete stranger to war; while depicting all those dramatic battles and duels was quite an achievement (which no personal experience would make any easier, truth be told, because in ASOIAF the combat as a phenomenon is illustrated from any number of angles, each among them presented with an abundance of details), ultimately it was in himself where Martin could find a lot of answers about his male characters, whose position in a society is never independent from their combat prowess or lack of it. Female characters, on the other hand, had to be trickier, just like they always are for male authors – let's admit it, they are not that good in creating great females, just like women writers usually don't produce male characters that are a match to their female characters nor to the male heroes created by male authors. In our day and age, these "gender rules" are rarely spoken of, but they continue to exist, due to gender predispositions that are nowhere as strong as in the mind of an individual. There are exceptions, as in good male characters created by women and vice versa, but they are in a clear minority compared to underdeveloped or unrealistic characters whose only "fault" was that they didn't share the sex with an author. And in that regard, ASOIAF could very well be unparalleled: it is perhaps impossible to find any other story that features nearly as many memorable male and female characters both, as ASOIAF does (truth be told, that fact alone should be enough to inspire analysts and scholars to look at ASOIAF at a different, more demanding light, and not as a genre piece).

Martin's girls, however, aren't completely unlike the man who came up with them. Most of them are willingly participating in "men games", e.g. power-plays and/or wars, which makes for a precious connection to a male mindset of the author. They are thinking and behaving as women (or, in the case of Arya, and Dany to an extent, as girls), but all of them are interacting with something that, in all its glory and misery, can roughly be called "a man's world". Some of the most beautifully written chapters in the series are delivered from female POVs – The Red Wedding and Cersei's "Walk of Shame" come to mind right away; but, in a thematic sense, those and other female chapters don't differ too much from male POVs.

Except for Sansa's chapters, which unmistakably belong to something we can roughly call "a woman's world". Chapters of both male and female POVs in ASOIAF are often rich with testosterone, but Sansa’s ones are almost entirely driven by estrogen: look no further than her captivity in King's Landing, that actually is, as already said, focused around her first period – that decision solely should bring a lot of respect for Martin, because he had to know going that road is never easy for a male writer.

And the funniest thing is, it all fits. Sansa's storyline is distinctive in tone, but not odd. It is a legitimate part of the general plot of ASOIAF. In fact, as her story progresses, Sansa becomes more and more important for The Game, even though she showed no clear inclination to participate in it so far, but at the same time, Martin keeps Sansa away from all those "male" aspects he decorated other female characters of his saga.

And on top of everything, we're presented with her love story, a romance with no other than the man who, prior to discovering some delicate feelings for Sansa, could pose for an ideal brute of Westeros. At the beginning of the story, Sandor Clegane could be perceived as the exact opposite of Sansa. As someone who has no business whatsoever in her world, just like she has none in his. But, with some craft wording and master subtlety, Martin succeeds in illustrating the flood of emotions that go both ways in their relationship. Those emotions are never easy, nor appropriate, let alone allowed – even by Sansa and Sandor themselves! – but they're hard to be denied.

The complexity of their multilayered characters, of their respective positions in a society and in an ongoing war, and of their relationship that resists all known clichés, represent some of the strongest evidence that ASOIAF is much more than a genre piece. There's a lot in these novels that escapes genre boundaries, but nothing more evidently than SanSan. Stuff like that is not your usual fantasy element, no matter how flattering fantasy can be as a label (Homer, Shakespeare, Tolkien – to name just a few all-time greats that created unforgettable stories with supernatural aspects in them). Any author who comes up with that kind of love story involving those kind of characters – and with a legion of other characters, and with no less than four different religions, and with themes of honor, redemption, identity, bravery, equality, ancestry, legacy, freedom, revolution... – deserves to be analyzed not as a genre writer.

Now, one can only imagine what kind of enigma Sansa and Sandor were for Benioff and Weiss. And it pretty much remained unsolved, because, when faced with all the complexity of these two characters, Benioff and Weiss decided to remove it almost entirely, along with their relationship that is reduced to occasional and odd mentioning of 'little bird'. TV Sandor was simplified to a one-note brute that goes around TV Westeros and lectures people about the pleasures of killing, a one-note brute he never was in the novels, not even in the beginning of the saga. TV Sansa, on the other hand, was denied her book complexity by shutting down all her layers, one by one. For example, Benioff and Weiss completely removed her decision to go behind her father's back and inform Cersei of his plan. They simply refused to go down that road. They did something similar to Catelyn, whose infamous line to Jon they didn't remove entirely, but did replace it with a much softer one. It is pretty safe to assume that Cat's and Sansa's complexity did bother Benioff and Weiss from the get-go.

What's also removed from the show is Sansa's agency, primarily represented in the novels by her secret meetings with Dontos, a disgraced knight she herself saved from Joffrey. In the show, we got only the saving scene; it was filmed and executed clumsily, but it was there at least. However, until recently, nobody could be sure Sansa did save Dontos, because the man disappeared afterwards (he was briefly seen as joggling balls in "Blackwater" episode, in the scene in Cersei's chambers, but he was unrecognizable for the vast majority of audience). It is reported, though, that Dontos will be returning in Season 4, so yes, Sansa did save his life after all. But, even when he returns, Sansa's attempts at escaping will be two seasons younger than they should've been at that point, and it's hard to see a way D&D can remedy that neglect.

Show-lovers often defend D&D in regards to Sansa, by saying her personality is a difficult and tricky one for portraying on screen, because even in the books she's introverted. Now, maybe she isn't the most extroverted character ever, but she's pretty far from reclusive, as she does communicate with the outside world a lot at the beginning of the series, before she's imprisoned. And even while in captivity, she can't help but communicate with Sandor and Dontos. What's more, around two of them she is her true self, which provides a wide array of possibilities for a good and informative dialogue that, in an adaptation, could compensate for the lack of inner thoughts. With Dontos, she's open not only because she saved him, but also because he explicitly offers his help (and, truth be told, it is he who enabled her to leave King's Landing eventually, so, even though he wasn't exactly honest with her concerning his motivations, her trust wasn't as misplaced as it may seem at first). And with Sandor, she's open for no particular reason – other than those subtle, emotional forces, that both of them can't help but follow and eventually become the closest and most intimate beings to each other.

The way Martin incepted and developed the barely visible, but undeniable romance, between Sansa and Sandor, is nothing short of literary brilliance. With so few words and interactions, he managed so much. The vast majority of readers are aware of restrained attraction they mutually feel, even though they didn't share a single physical aspect of the romantic relationship.

Martin is indeed a master of subtlety, as evidenced by what looks like the endless amount of carefully hidden clues that point to any number of narrative puzzles, realization of which do make an entire story much richer than if taken at face value. And he's never more subtle than with two romances: Rhaegar/Lyanna and Sandor/Sansa. Now, the respective nature of subtlety of those two romances is rather different. With Rhaegar and Lyanna, a reader is – through Robert's retelling – offered a version that is actually the very opposite of what probably happened, and only later a reader can pick up clues here and there, and finally figure out the story of a fatal attraction between the two. But, the clues are presented throughout the text, so much that, even if you don't decipher everything after the first read, at the end of "A Game of Thrones" – the first book of the series – you'll probably sense that Robert's view on events wasn't exactly accurate.

The story of Sansa and Sandor is a very different one. Their relationship is never as much as addressed, even by themselves. Sandor isn't a POV character, and he's not exactly open to people, so his silence on the matter isn't unexpected. But, Martin didn't address their romance even in Sansa's chapters, which are typically packed with inner thoughts of the POV character. It looks like Martin decided to do it the harder way and make their romance somewhat a mystery even for Sansa, which, in hindsight, does seem to be the most logical way: what teenage girl would be fully aware of a romance that "inappropriate", and experienced in those dire circumstances?! As a result of that decision, the readers got a completely fascinating depiction of a romance, that can be described as a train you hear from miles away: at first, you can't even tell is it a train or some similar sound, but slowly, with every second, you're more and more certain that your ears didn't trick you, and very soon the train is so loud that it is the only thing you can hear at all. In the novels, a reader may find something strange at first, when Sandor shares the secret of his burned face with Sansa. Some alarm may be turned on deep inside. And it becomes more apparent each time two of them share a page, with a culmination during the Battle of the Blackwater Bay, when Sandor, after he decides to desert the Lannisters, visits Sansa in her room and offers to take her home to Winterfell.

It might be the only instance in the entire series where Sandor did ask anyone's approval, which does speak volumes about his feelings for Sansa. Considering the manner in which Martin described this romance, Sandor's actions on that day was as good as a confession of his deep attraction to her. Sansa, on the other hand, doesn't have a single moment which could be pointed at as a prime evidence of her undeniable love for The Hound, but this doesn't mean her feelings toward Sandor aren't palpable. It's one more mastery of the writer: through her frequent (and skewed, but in a telling way) memories on the last time she saw Sandor, he was able to show her feelings resonating more and more inside her.

In the show, Martin was denied a chance to do the same thing, even though he wrote the "Blackwater" episode in Season 2. Thanks to the already destroyed storyline, and to god knows how many changes, and to D&D's decision to remove from the final cut some scenes Martin referred to with his scenes, the one between Sansa and Sandor near the end of that episode, served more as a greeting to book-fans who like SanSan in the source material, than as a goodbye between two not unlike souls who shared much, and could have shared a lot more, and maybe are going to if they meet again. In that scene, Rory McCann was visibly better than usual as Sandor, and Sophie Turner was as good as usual, but, just like with anything ASOIAF, the scene doesn't have nearly the same impact and importance if taken out of context.

The exact context of their SanSan is yet to be fully revealed in the books, too. Because of the already mentioned subtlety – a quality that seems to intimidate showrunners Benioff and Weiss, who, in their turn, do retaliate with their on-screen war on subtlety (just recall what they turned other romances into; for example, the romance between TV Jon "Not The Brightest Kid In The Block" Snow and TV "I Know Everything And Therefore I Can't Stop Talking" Ygritte) – Sansa's and Sandor's love story is by no means an open book. Their romance has its own share of mystery, one of which may be: what inspired those two persons to feel so strongly for each other? Personally, I always thought their mutual attraction isn't only based on a "beauty and the beast" model. There is that, but in their case it goes deeper. If that was the engine behind his emotions, Sandor had more than enough opportunities to find a beauty for his beast long before Sansa entered his life. With Sansa, I'd say their mutual attraction is rooted in their personalities. For example, if you take away Sandor's aggression, he also isn't interested in hurting others. He's naturally talented for violence, and he lives in a society that respects that kind of talent, and that is why he's violent for a living, but at the end of the day, the suffering of others isn't any kind of reward for him. Possibly, because he isn't interested in other people that much. Though, when he is interested in someone, the interest is as strong as they come.

(We don't know at this point, but it's not a stretch to imagine that his reaction to the news that his hated brother was killed wasn't unlike Sansa's reaction to Joff's death. "Am I glad he's dead? Well, not exactly, even though I wanted him killed.")

Sansa may very well be like that, too. That would be one of the possible explanations of her AGOT actions. Like the rest of the Starks, Sansa is a complex character that has some issues of her own, without which neither she nor the other Starks would be such memorable characters as they obviously are; it is the fact that they are both willing and strong enough to fight those issues, that Starks stand out for. Without going into details (as if I could!), I expect that in the remaining novels Sansa is going to face the reasons that made her go to Cersei that damned night and with the consequences of that action. And whatever comes out of that soul-searching will be inevitably combined with her claim to Winterfell that Littlefinger brought up in AFFC. And that combination is going to elevate Sansa's arc to even bigger and more important levels than so far, even though so far she was the one Stark that was most engaged – unwittingly, but still – in the bloody dynastic war for the Iron Throne.

And she'll have to cross paths with Sandor Clegane, one way or another. Their relationship was so meticulously built up, it simply has to get some sort of a closure. What that closure is going to be is impossible to predict, because we are talking of one George R. R. Martin, a writer who managed to shock us as he pleased more than a few times.

What is also impossible, is to take anything that did or didn't happen in the show as any indication at what the closer may or may not be. There isn't a storyline in GoT that wasn't drastically changed, and weakened in the process, but Sansa's arc, along with her relationship with Sandor, is among the biggest victims of D&D's inability to adapt.

Whether you happen to like what Benioff and Weiss put in the show, or don't, you'd be advised not to recognize any significance in their decisions for further developments in ASOIAF. Just like show-lovers tend to remind everyone else, GoT and ASOIAF are two entirely separate beasts. And book Sansa and book Sandor, along with everything Martin has in his store for them, can be really glad about it.

[thebiblesalesman]

Thoughts on Genji in Storm Rising

Storm Rising reframes the beginning of Genji’s journey and his interaction with the original Overwatch. Gone is the Genji who “single-mindedly set about the task of dismantling his family’s criminal empire” and abandoned Overwatch when his mission was complete.

Instead Storm Rising is the latest bookmark of a Genji who invested himself in Overwatch for an extended period of time and has finally begun to encounter support and friendship as a part of the Strike Team. Perhaps most importantly, the mission shows us that Genji is already capable of responding to positivity and that his Retribution-era coldness was not so much an inability to be properly social as it was a reflection of the dark personalities around him. 

There are a few gaps between Retribution and Storm Rising that might be relevant to Genji’s personality shift: (1) we still don’t know exactly how his Shimada Clan mission went, or (2) the reason his cybernetics were upgraded (aside from his Blackwatch design looking very prototypy). We do know that one year prior to Storm Rising, Genji was sparring with Tracer while Blackwatch was on suspension and did not yet have his new cybernetics. In the year between Uprising and Storm Rising, a decision was made to export Genji to mainline Overwatch for some reason. Blackwatch is (kinda) back in action at the time of Storm Rising- I think I’ll talk more about that in a dedicated “plot developments” post.

We also know from other media that Storm Rising takes place within months of the destruction of Overwatch HQ. Any support Genji gained during his time with the Strike Team will be lost very soon, and I have to imagine that various revelations about Blackwatch and public opinion on Overwatch as a whole could do a lot of damage to someone whose body has been extensively modified to assist the organization. In the even more immediate future, Genji is going to be badly damaged by Doomfist despite his new cybernetics.

These defeats raise other questions, like did Genji perhaps avoid other members of the Strike Team purposefully after Overwatch ended, or did they simply not reach out to him? This is a particular quandary for the new character Captain Sojourn, who is shown in Storm Rising to be committed to supporting Genji as a fellow cyborg.

But there are a lot of routes the developers could take on explaining Sojourn’s absence in Genji’s life after Overwatch. For example, maybe Genji’s Nomad skin is literal rather than thematic canon and he actually disguised his identity in the most fashionable way possible. Maybe Sojourn was injured during the destruction of HQ and acquired triple amnesia. Maybe she was arrested after the arrival of the Petras Act. The possibilities are truly endless. It would really be nice to get some sort of media about the destruction of HQ and its aftermath...someday...

Genji’s persistent discomfort with his cybernetics seems like it should have been addressed by support specialists sometime before Retribution or in the two years since. Maybe it was, and there is just no interest in showing Genji’s psych evaluations as part of a poppy bright mission cutscene. Experiences like Genji’s don’t go away with one or two visits from a qualified professional, or ever, so it’s entirely possible Overwatch put as much support as they could into him and it simply was not helping. 

But it is interesting to me that Sojourn is the one showing some empathy to Genji’s condition, whereas the doctor who saved his life generally makes light of her role. Other interactions in Storm Rising do seem to indicate that Mercy is not very good with people, and I would be remiss not to discuss the Gency interactions in the mission, but I think I’m going to do that in a separate Mercy-focused post. She got a lot of love this mission too, and not just from Genji.

I think what’s got me scratching my head is the sanitizing effect the Storm Rising personality shift has on Overwatch’s disgraceful conduct toward Genji.

On the one hand, demonstrating Genji’s preexisting ability to be something other than an angry boy and showing off how he responds to positive people dovetails nicely into his eventual meeting with Zenyatta. The interactions in Storm Rising also elevate the other members of the Strike Team, showing how they are genuinely trying to be Genji’s ally. Contrast this to the Blackwatch team, who frequently refer to Genji as an asset rather than a person.

On the other hand there is a Marvel-like unwillingness to explore the ethics of the story Overwatch sets forth for Genji, but given the punchy comic book underpinnings of the lore I guess that should not be a surprise at all. There’s a hyperintelligent hamster in this game. 

And while there may be a lack of emphasis on certain human rights situations, the devs are very interested in covering how the heroes in Overwatch altered the trajectories of each other’s lives. Genji and Zenyatta was always the classic example of this, but now we know Genji was not a wall to everyone that came before. He is, in fact, quite human. :)

Just in case you left this mission with the sense of “why does he even need Zenyatta then?”, I’ll reiterate a few things. First and foremost, Overwatch is about to be destroyed, and then Overwatch activity is made illegal by the Petras Act. Genji’s hero profile still describes him as having “abandoned Overwatch”, but maybe it was more that he was torn from a purpose he was serving as a replacement for having a life.

I’m not convinced Genji has a sense of himself beyond his occupation in Overwatch even during Storm Rising. But whereas others in Blackwatch could be brazenly ignorant of what he was going through, the Strike Team seems to be mostly on-board with including him as a friend as much as a coworker, leading to interactions such as this:

Genji’s sense of humor is much more obvious in this mission overall (”mAYbE hE jUST liKEs to loOk at IT”), but his tone also oscillates wildly, going cold when there is a brush of conduct that sounds like Blackwatch work (”he’ll talk”) or when the subject turns to his cybernetics (”was that a joke?”, but he isn’t laughing). Most people have by now noticed elements of his behavior in the cutscenes such as him checking with the team about what he needs to do, then his arm shaking when he is not allowed to outright kill Maximilien. His embrace of the Strike Team could just be another prop to keep himself going.

When Genji says the ocean is beautiful in the quote a little ways above, he is looking at the sea under the influence of a hurricane, covered in lightning.

Genji’s anger is not something that ever goes away, even years later during the events of Dragons. It is not something even Zenyatta can take from him, because the goal of healing is not to erase a feeling that exists, but to improve how we deal with it.

(As an alternative hypothesis, the shaking is not just anger but some issue with the new cybernetics. Considering how robotic the motion is...did something happen to his remaining arm? Note how Maximilien, who is completely machine, moves with far more grace and control in the same scene.)

I also want to note that Genji considers Maximilien “dramatic”, and his tone when speaking about Maximilien and his money tends to be disdainful. Genji comes from a rich criminal family himself, but no one on the Strike Team appears to pick up on that angle of his responses. I think it’s safe to say he is holding a few cards close to his chest and trying to stay macho about the whole situation, but that’s not really what he needs to heal. 

So get to it, Zenyatta.

[sashagreypocket-blog]

Masturbate and Feel Good

male stroker "Masturbation... is simply not approved of the actual Lord not this religious organization, regardless of what can be said by those as their 'norms' are lower", Chief executive Kimball of the Religious organization involving Jesus Christ connected with Latter-Day Bienheureux (1981)

male stroker

"Every sperm is usually sacred. Each and every sperm is wonderful. If some sort of sperm is thrown away, Lord gets quite irate. very well Monty Python's The real meaning associated with Life.

A quotation generally used by various chapels in an effort for you to contain illicit serves amidst its people. Every single monserga on masturbation would likely estimate it, at least all of the sermons I have listened to. Within the circumstances, is the idea difficult to envision fleshlight as one of the particular biggest taboos in each of our society? Even today? Research education has done a new little to switch it. Can that mean people no longer masturbate? Certainly not. 00% of men and 70 percent of girls masturbate according to help various reports. The difficulty lies in the endorsement of the fact in which you masturbate. Clearly the story... a story regarding you.

A single night anyone were sitting on your own within your apartment eating lasagna. You decided to verify out a few new web sites on the net whilst you eat. So you journal on to the speed of your internet connection as well as start surfing. Inadvertently, you locate some piece of pornography(yes, online is quite entire of it! ) Shopping at those erotic (and often downright nasty photos) you feel a tingley amongst the legs. One issue leads to an additional and also you end up going bad your own underpants. Now enable me tell you one more story.

One night you are sitting alone in any pub drinking beer. Along with then some sort of most wonderful person penetrates the club. The person that reasons tingley between your lower limbs just investigating him or even her. You decide this you can't release this kind of opportunity to get in order to know this creation regarding god. And that means you move to this person and initiate little talk. One thing contributes to another and you conclusion up in your current condo.

Whether you are a new woman or possibly a man, typically the next morning you actually more than likely be jumping using delight in the first event. When you go out and about in the nighttime to be able to meet your friends, a person would not necessarily tell these people about the hot website you found and precisely how an individual jerked off for you to it. Even so, in often the second case, less complicated sharing with anyone who cared for to help listen how you possessed by far the most wonderful experience involving your life you get. The reason why? Well, maybe simply because self applied pleasure is, effectively, practically nothing special. You can accomplish the item anytime you would like. Of course influencing the actual person of your ambitions is very an accomplishment. Zero wonder you may need an market. But what when you have the friend like me. A pal who is crazy plenty of individuals you did anyone wank off yesterday evening? Ended up being it good? Precisely what could you do then? Would likely you inform your friend concerning the hot web site along with your experience? Would you actually merely say, "Yeah! The idea was wonderful! What with regards to you? " Or maybe will you pretend nothing acquired happened and lie... similar to you were somewhere different yesterday night time, or perhaps lead your pal in order to believe you got happy having someone?

I in the morning guessing you would probably do the particular latter. Most certainly you'll not acknowledge the act connected with masturbation. Rather you might elude the question in addition to alter the topic. And any time your close friend tells a person about a hot cure the same night, an individual would want a jar of water when you could possibly drown. Shame as well as shame would come over anyone and you would transform the issue in two times quick time period. Are you actually crazy? Noway! You will be simply one of the vast majority. And an amazing majority with that! Way more bulk that what George Rose bush had in the very last elections! The reason why -social fitness!

You are the same as the child who ran outside the movies hall that was screening process an adult film (mind a person, he had absolutely no business that they are there inside the first place! However each of the cinemas care in relation to is the good discounts associated with their tickets! )

After in the day, typically the buddy who had also been at the movies along with him, caught up together with him or her and asked, "Why from the hell's name does an individual run out? micron The youngster answered, "My mom explained if My spouse and i watched a woman acquiring naked I would switch to gemstone. And darn you Harry, a aspect of me was actually becoming stone! "

Unfortunately, often the social conditioning is definitely inappropriate. It is while wrong for the reason that social issue in 18-19th hundred years Of india, where widows were being compelled to burn well using their husbands. As drastically wrong as the church ended up being in using up Galileo with regard to implying everything was definitely not the centre from the whole world. Lily Tomlin placed it ideal, "We have reason why you should consider that man first strolled upright to free the hands for masturbation! inch If god didn't desire us to masturbate, possibly we would still become walking such as dogs and also horses!

Typically the social health and fitness is a result regarding several myths, lies along with hoaxes perpetrated by many individuals regarding personal gain. Unfortunately, that conditioning is actually like a hard enthusiast, very tough to fracture. However, with effort in addition to chanelising your energies, you may break it. Remember, the actual nuts that crack the toughest, are often the versions that taste the top! Anyone must be wondering, what sort of hell does it subject if you are guilty about fleshlight. Why wouldn't you spend time smashing this housing?

Certain objective believe that guiltiness cognizant, whether sexual remorse or perhaps in any other application form, is the most detrimental element on your mental well being. Others find that it is one involving the most destructive. Yet the biggest effect connected with guilt conscious in my opinion offers been a lack associated with confidence throughout self. At this point you are an brilliant reader. I don't want to clarify you the particular importance of self self-confidence. Specific your career, romantic relationships or any some other feature of life, lack regarding self-assurance can bring your own personal downfall. I am not really implying which will you start off to feel more secure regarding masturbation, you would certainly succeed in almost all features of life. But this will be nice step to be able to take. A useless sense of guilt that should, and they are eliminated from your mind. Recall, an ocean is built of tiny droplets involving water. Eradicate a decline at a time since due time, the water would be empty! Involving course it will take numerous millennia! The good news is, you have a tendency have an ocean rich in guily! Just some naggings occasionally!

The first action towards eradication with this shame is knowledge. There are actually hundreds and hundreds of myths around fleshlight. Most of them perpetrated by certitude, unfortunately. Nevertheless some perpetrated by simply con runners. Lets look into typically the most important ones.

one particular. Fleshlight is against often the will connected with god.

Hokum. At a single point the actual church regarded as anyone who else was overtly ardent for you to his wife a adultrater. Follow that instructing as well as your wife would end up being doing adultery! Several clergymen have become on record to help say which not merely the church's coaching concerning sexuality were not related in order to the scriptures, but that they can caused more harm when compared with good amongst people. Aside from, nowhere in the non secular instruction of any key foi is masturbation regarded incorrect.

2. Masturbation can cause erectile dysfunction.

Most men and even several girls seem to think and so. Wrong again. Lets undertake the repair of the males first. Its understandable that seeing their very own sperm flow out associated with themselves, they think that may end sometimes. Effectively, it will end eventually... maybe when you are generally 100 years old. Although until then don't be anxious. Your sperm bank is fairly unlike Standard Chartered. You could have unlimited credit here! Ejaculate is a completely replenishable useful resource, renewable on the hourly foundation! For girls, well, there is simply no schedule in the hypothesis. Probably perpetrated by outdated ladies who also never experienced an ejaculation in all their entire life!

several. Fleshlight causes acne, hairloss, skin area diseases.

This one will be my favorite. Mainly due to the fact it is one of several a great deal better scams of all occasions! Your own personal social conditioning would likely have you feel that fleshlight is not particularly healthy. But awful how? No person would present you a satisfying reply! Now some scam music artists saw this as a good fine opportunity to will sell their products just like frizzy hair growth lotions, etc. Considering that most people start masturbating throughout their teens, (the periods of pimple and additional skin problems), they'd possess you believe that this particular is a result of masturbation! Unfortunately for them, it is seeing that untrue as the direct sun light rising from the western world! Fleshlight has no actual side effects!

some. Masturbating will make you slender and skinny!

Then there is no need for diet program pills and exercise routines my friend! And almost all surely 70% of US would not be overweight!

your five. Merely Kids masturbate!

Exactly why can you say that? My partner and i wonder! Very well quite not true, most grownups masturbate... yes even after marital life!

some. Masturbation is for guys.

And it is intended for 70% in the women way too. That's right, 2/3 regarding all females masturbate!

8. Only losers masturbate!

Yet another of my favorites. Simply goes to show merely how much of the taboo is masturbation! Right off the bat, 00% of males and also seventy percent of females have got masturbated at least once with their existence. Now that will is a hell of your lot of losers avoid you feel! Nothing far more that I can also add genuinely... this is really the particular supreme insecurity amongst men and women with regards to self pleasure.

6. Fleshlight is for homosexuals.

Wow. Exactly where did in which one originate! An individual have to make a etymology of the myths, would make to get an intriguing read! Merely as untrue because just about all these myths, masturbation along with homosexuality have nothing in accordance. Some people masturbate to be able to their dreams of contrary sex, some others to their own fantasies of similar sexual. That's it.

being unfaithful. Fleshlight will make you impaired!

Others claim that fleshlight is usually bad for your personal eyesight. Nonetheless their states are unsupported by specifics and health care advice. We suggest you talk for you to your standard physician in addition to he will describe anyone what a load involving bull this is.

twelve. Fleshlight changes the appearance of your manhood

Nicely, it does make the idea firm. But believe us, after you orgasm, the firmness fully gone! So no. Fleshlight provides absolutely no influence on how the penis appears to be.

[oscopelabs]

3D, Part 2: How 3D Peaked At Its Valley by Vadim Rizov

I didn’t expect to spend Thanksgiving Weekend 2018 watching ten 3D movies: marathon viewing is not my favorite experience in general, and I haven’t spent years longing to see, say, Friday the 13th Part III, in 35mm. But a friend was visiting, from Toronto, to take advantage of this opportunity, an impressive level of dedication that seemed like something to emulate, and it’s not like I had anything better to do, so I tagged along. Said friend, Blake Williams, is an experimental filmmaker and 3D expert, a subject to which he’s devoted years of graduate research and the bulk of his movies (see Prototype if it comes to a city near you!); if I was going to choose the arbitrary age of 32 to finally take 3D seriously, I couldn’t have a better Virgil to explain what I was seeing on a technical level. My thanks to him (for getting me out there) and to the Quad Cinema for being my holiday weekend host; it was probably the best possible use of my time.

The 10-movie slate was an abridged encore presentation of this 19-film program, which I now feel like a dink for missing. What’s interesting in both is the curatorial emphasis on films from 3D’s second, theoretically most disreputable wave—‘80s movies with little to zero critical respect or profile. Noel Murray considered a good chunk of these on this site a few years ago, watching the films flat at home, noting that when viewed this way, “the plane-breaking seems all the more superfluous. (It’s also easy to spot when these moments are about to happen, because the overall image gets murkier and blurrier.)” This presumes that if you can perceive the moments where a 3D film expands its depth of field for a comin’-at-ya moment and mentally reconstruct what that would look like, that’s basically the same experience as actually seeing these effects.

Blake’s argument, which I wrestled with all weekend, is that these movies do indeed often look terrible in 2D, but 3D literally makes them better. As it turns out, this is true surprisingly often. Granted, all concerned have to know what they’re doing, otherwise the results will still be indifferent: it turns out that Friday the 13th Part III sucks no matter how you watch it, and 3D’s not a complete cure-all. This was also demonstrated by my first movie, 1995’s barely released Run For Cover, the kind of grade-Z library filler you’d expect to see sometime around 2 am on a syndicated channel. This is, ostensibly, a thriller, in which a TV news cameraman foils a terrorist plot against NYC. It features a lot of talking, scenes of Bondian villains eating Chinese takeout while plotting and/or torturing our ostensible hero, some running (non-Tom Cruise speed levels), and one The Room-caliber sex scene. Anyone who’s spent too much time mindlessly staring at the least promising option on TV has seen many movies like these. The 3D helps a little: an underdressed TV station set takes on heightened diorama qualities, making it interesting to contemplate as an inadvertent installation—the archetypal TV command room, with the bare minimum necessary signifiers in place and zero detail otherwise—rather than simply a bare-bones set. But often the camera is placed nowhere in particular, and the resulting images are negligible; in the absence of dramatic conviction or technical skill, what’s left is never close enough to camp to come back out the other side as inadvertently worthwhile. I’m glad I saw it for the sheer novelty of cameos from Ed Koch, Al Sharpton and Guardian Angels founder Curtis Sliwa—all doing their usual talking points, but in 3D! But it’s the kind of film that’s more fun to tell people about than actually watch.

But infamous punchlines Jaws 3-D and Amityville 3-D have their virtues when viewed in 3D. The former, especially, seems to be the default punching bag whenever someone wants to make the case that 3D has, and always will be, nothing but a limited gimmick upselling worthless movies. It was poorly reviewed when it came out, but the public dug it enough to make it, domestically, the 15th highest-grossing film of 1983 (between Never Say Never Again and Scarface) and justify Jaws: The Revenge. Of course I was skeptical; why wouldn’t I be? But I was sucked in by the opening credits, in which the familiar handheld-underwater-cam-as-shark POV gave way to a severed arm floating before a green “ocean.” Maybe flat it looks simply ludicrous, but the image has a compellingly Lynchian quality, as if the limb were detached from one of Twin Peaks: The Return’s more disgusting corpses, its artifice heightened and literally foregrounded, the equally artificial background setting it into greater relief.

The film’s prominent SeaWorld product placement is, theoretically, ill-advised, especially in the post-Blackfish era; in practice, it’s extremely productive. The opening stretches have a lot of water-skiing; in deep 3D, the water-skiers serve as lines tracing depth towards and away from the camera over a body of water whose horizon line stretches back infinitely, producing a greater awareness of space. It reminded me of the early days of the short-lived super-widescreen format Cinerama, as described by John Belton in his academic history book Widescreen Cinema (recommended). The very first film in the format, This is Cinerama, was a travelogue whose stops included Cypress Gardens, Florida’s first commercial tourist theme park (the site is now a Legoland), which has very similar images of waterskiiers. Cinerama was, per the publicist copy Belton quotes from the period, about an experience, not a story: “Plot is replaced by audience envelopment […] the medium forces you to concentrate on something bigger than people, for it has a range of vision and sound that no other medium offers.” Cinerama promised to immerse viewers, as literalized in this delightful publicity image; Belton argues that “unlike 3-D and CinemaScope, which stressed the dramatic content of their story material and the radical new means of technology employed in production, Cinerama used a saturation advertising campaign in the newspapers and on radio to promote the ‘excitement aspects’ of the new medium.” There’s a connection here with the earliest days of silent cinema, short snippets (“actualities”) of reality, before it was decided that medium’s primary purpose was to tell a story. It didn’t have to be like that; in those opening stretches, Jaws 3-D’s lackadaisical narrative, which might play inertly on TV, recalls the 1890s, when shots of bodies of water were popular subjects. This is something I learned from a recent presentation by silent film scholar Bryony Dixon, and her reasoning makes sense. The way water moves is inherently hypnotic, and for early audiences assimilating their very first moving images, water imagery was a favorite subject. It’s only with a few years under its belt that film started making its drift towards narrative as default; inadvertently or not, Jaws 3-D is very pure in its initial presentation of water as a spectacular, non-narrative event.

If this seems like a lot of cultural and historical weight to bring to bear upon Jaws 3-D, note that it wasn’t even my favorite of the more-scorned offerings I saw that weekend, merely one that makes it easiest for me to articulate what I found compelling about the 3D immersion experience. I haven’t described the plot of Jaws 3-D at all, which is indeed perfunctory (though it was nice to learn where Deep Blue Sea cribbed a bunch of its production design from). I won’t try to rehabilitate Amityville 3-D at similar length: set aside the moronic ending and Tony Roberts’ leading turn as one of cinema’s most annoyingly waspish, unearnedly whiny divorcees, and what’s left is a surprisingly melancholy movie about the frustrations, and constant necessary repairs, of home ownership. There’s very little music and a surprising amount of silence. The most effective moment is simply Roberts going upstairs to the bathroom, where steam is hissing out for no apparent reason and he has to fix the plumbing. The camera’s planted in the hallway, not moving for any kind of emphasis as the back wall moves closer to Roberts; it doesn’t kill him and nothing comes of it, it’s just another problem to deal with (the walls, as it were, are settling), made more effective by awareness of how a space whose rules and boundaries seemed fixed is being altered, pushing air at you.

Watching a bunch of these in sequence, some clear lessons emerge: if you want to generate compelling depth by default, find an alleyway and block off the other half of the frame with a wall to present two different depths, or force protagonists to crawl through ducts or tubes. This is a good chunk of Silent Madness, a reasonably effective slasher film that, within the confines of its cheap sets and functional plotting, keeps the eye moving. It’s an unlikely candidate for a deep-dive New York Times Magazine article from the time period, which is well worth reading in full. It’s mostly about B-movies and the actresses trying to make their way up through them, though it does have this money quote from director Simon Nuchtern about why, for Bs, it’s not worth paying more for a good lead actress: “If I had 10,000 extra dollars, I’d put it into lights. Not one person is going to say, ‘Go see that movie because Lynn Redgrave is in it.’ But if we don’t have enough lights and that 3-D doesn’t pop right out at you, people are going to say, ‘Don’t see that movie because the 3-D stinks.’” Meanwhile, nobody appears to have been thinking that hard while making Friday the 13th: Part III, which contains precisely one striking image: a pan, street morning, as future teen lambs-to-the-slaughter exit their van and walk over to a friend’s house. A lens flare hits frame left, making what’s behind it briefly impossible to see: this portion of the frame is now sealed off under impermeable 2D, in contrast to the rest of the frame’s now far-more-tangible depth. The remainder of the movie makes it easy to imagine watching it on TV and clocking every obvious, poorly framed and blocked 3D effect, from spears being thrown at the camera to the inevitable yo-yo descending at the lens. (This is my least favorite 3D effect because it’s just too obvious and counterproductively makes me think of the Smothers Brothers.)

Friday the 13th was the biggest slog of the 3D weekend, and the one most clearly emulating 1981’s Comin’ at Ya! I am not going to argue for that movie, either, which is generally credited with kicking off the second 3D craze; it’s a sludgy spaghetti western that delivers exactly as its title promises, using a limited number of effects repeatedly before showing them all again in a cut-together montage at the end, lest you missed one in its first iteration. It’s exhausting and oddly joyless, but was successful enough to generate a follow-up from the same creative team. Star Tony Anthony and director Ferdinando Baldi (both veterans of second-tier spaghetti westerns) re-teamed for 1983’s Treasure of the Four Crowns, the movie which (two screenings in) rewired my brain a little and convinced me I should hang around all weekend. This is not a well-respected film, then or now: judging by IMDb user comments, most people who remember seeing it recall it playing endlessly on HBO in the ‘80s, where it did not impress them unless they were very young (and even then, perhaps not). Janet Maslin admitted to walking out on it in her review; then again, she did the same with Dawn of the Dead, and everyone loves that.

An unabashed Indiana Jones copy, Treasure begins strong with a lengthy opening sequence of tomb raider J.T. Striker (Anthony) dropping into a cave, where he’s promptly confronted not only with a bunch of traps but, for a long stretch, a small menagerie’s worth of owls, dogs, and other wildlife. There are a lot of animals, and why not? They’re fun to look at, and having them trotted out, one after another, is another link back to silent cinema; besides water, babies and animals were also popular subjects. The whole sequence ends with Striker running away from the castle above the cave, artifact retrieved, in slow-motion as Ennio Morricone’s score blares. There is, inevitably and nonsensically, a fireball that consumes the set; it unfolds luxuriously in detailed depth, the camera placed on a grassy knoll that gives us a nice angle to contemplate it looking upwards, a nearly abstract testament to the pleasures of gasoline-fueled imagery. Shortly thereafter, Striker is in some European city to sell his wares, and in every shot the camera is placed for maximum depth: in front of a small city park’s mini-waterfall, views of streets boxed in by sidewalks that narrow towards each other, each position calibrated to create a spectacular travelogue out of what’s a fairly mundane location. There’s an expository sequence where Striker and friends drop into a diner to ask about the whereabouts of another member of the crew they need to round up. Here, with the camera on one side of a bar encircling a center counter, there are something like six layers of cleanly articulated space, starting with a plant’s leaves right in front of the lens on the side, proceeding to the counter, center area, back counter, back tables and walls of the establishment. Again, the location is mundane; seeing it filleted in space so neatly is what makes it special.

The climax finally convinced me I was watching forgotten greatness. This is an elaborate heist sequence in which, of course, the floor cannot be touched, necessitating that the team perform all kinds of rappelling foolishness. At this point I thought, “the only way I could respect this movie more is if it spent 10 minutes watching them get from one side of the room to another in real time.” First, the team has to gear up, which basically means untangling a bunch of ropes—clearly not the most exciting activity. The camera is looking up, placed below a team member as they uncoil and then drop a rope towards the lens. This is a better-framed variant of the comin’-at-ya principle, but what made it exciting to me was the leisurely way it was done: no more whizzing spears, but a moment of procedural mundanity as exciting as any ostensible danger. Basic narrative film grammar is being upended here: if a rope being dropped is just as exciting as a big, fake rip-off boulder chasing our hero down the cave, then all the rules about what constitutes narrative are off—narrative and non-narrative elements have the exact same weight, and even the most mundane, A-to-B connective shot is a spectacular event.

This isn’t how narrative cinema is supposed to work, and certainly not what James Cameron’s conception of good 3D proposed. The movie keeps going, building to a bizarrely grim climax involving a lot of face-melting, scored by Morricone’s oddly beatific score, which seems serenely indifferent to the grotesqueness of the images it’s accompanying. (This is a recurring trait in the composer’s ‘80s work; the score for White Dog often seems to bear no relation to the footage it’s accompanying.) That would make the movie oneiric and weirdly compelling even on a flat TV, but everything preceding convinced me: 3D can be great because it’s 3D, not because it serves a story. I’ve spent the last decade getting more angry about the format than anything, but that was a misunderstanding. Treasure of the Four Crowns is, yes, probably very unexceptional seen flat; seen in all three dimensions, it’s a demonstration of how 3D can turn banal connective tissue and routine coverage into an event. The spectacle of 3D might never have been its potential to make elaborate CG landscapes more immersive, something I still haven’t personally been convinced of; as those 19 non-CG shots in Avatar showed (undermining Cameron’s own argument!), 3D’s renderings of the real, material world and objects have yet to be fully explored. 3D’s ability to link film back to its earliest days is refreshing, in the way that any rediscovery of forgotten parts of film language can be, while also encouraging thought about all the things narrative visual language hasn’t yet explored, as if 3D could take us forwards and backwards simultaneously. In any case, I’m now won over—ten years after Avatar, but better late than never.

[twitchesandstitches]

Disney Growth AU

One of my holdovers from my old blog was what I called the Disney Growth AU, and I’m bringing it back! Mostly for the odd snippet or story post here or that, and partly as a component in some of my other AUs, since those mentions might not make a whole lot of sense without this AU’s particulars.

And also since it would fill a bit silly reposting older stories or edits of them without giving everyone the background of this AU, and anything i happen to think of. No sense posting stories and just throwing you into it blind, even if you’re familiar with it. It would just feel strange!

The Disney Growth AU is a combination of all the various disney properties (or at least the ones that fit into the Disney animated canon, with the various cartoons as having a more nebulous connection but are present), centering largely around the Disney heroines and major lady characters of their respective franchises and sub-series, with a focus on magically induced transformations and a particular emphasis on hyper curves (gigantic boobs, hips and butt, with variance for individual body types and personality-appropriate looks, and with more monster-y/human divergent form styles) and giantess.

In that later case, the princesses and other heroines are absolutely massive, with none of the usual limits i typically have in my usual AUs or giantess scenarios for the sake of tiny/giant interaction; they are a mile high at minimum when not deliberately suppressing their powers, and when they’re fully powered up, the giant Disney girls can be as big as entire planets, if not solar systems… and even larger than that, with their proportions scaling up to match.

Of note, this AU is broadly split into two continuities of a kind; one where this AU is its own thing and its relation to other fic ideas isn’t important, and one where it is a sub-set of Crossthicc as an important aspect of the multiverse, and the distinction has to do with which aspect I’m playing up.

Both versions heavily emphasize magic, and the basic premise is the same: the heroines, or princesses (whether they are actually royalty or not, such as in the case of Mulan or Moana; the title is a catch-all for ‘important heroine’ as a consequence of their actions) are living embodiments of raw magic, both conduits for the stuff of the soul and transformation, and generating it in the same way that stars create elements and light. This causes them to transform over time, growing bigger and curvier, and eventually take on more individual, inhuman alterations to reflect their raw power and coolness.

Their villains are, of course, around and up to No Good, and in between slice of life shenanigans, pranks, and attempts to simply live their lives while also being benign giant goddesses, they might thwart the plans of their equally gigantic villainesses and foes, who have transformed to become Big and Thicc too, and seek to impose absolute dominance over all existence.

In the former case where its a standalone AU, the setting is more mundane… as much as they CAN be, in the context. They live on a single version of Earth, with a different history to justify how a Powhatan diplomat, ancient Chinese war icon, Germanic fairy tale, and outright mythical figures can all exist at the same time. Effectively, they have been given a Kingdom Hearts style lighter and softer treatment, with ancient countries still existing in the modern day and altering history in subtle ways for this all to make some kind of internal sense. (For instance, modern America may not exist; instead you have the original countries of the First Nations expanded and industrialized and existing as a broad union similar to modern America,) Something similar applies to outright fictional countries or landmasses, with the world altered so that their likely geographic locations makes some kind of sense. Agrabah, for example, is a bit of a tricky case.

In this case, all the princesses are modern women, but have existed in many incarnations throughout history as great peacekeepers, champions of justice, mighty warriors, and paragons of virtue to teach others. In relatively recent times, their actions ensured a massive burst of magic that permanently brought raw, wild and Good magic back to the world, imbuing them all with it and making them living generators of it, awakening new power and making them into new goddesses, with great stature to match. Apart from now being potentially planet-sized and warping local space via their raw power just to fit into the world - packing mountain mass into a very small area - their lives are still mundane, and much of their time is spent adjusting to their new power and finding things to do with it.

Something similar would apply with the villains, most obviously Maleficent and a cadre of other villainesses following her; while not as powerful as the heroines, they are nonetheless massive and powerful goddesses… just not on the same level as the heroines, but they have the benefit of a massive horde of spooky monsters and less imposing foes that are mighty in their collective dangerous-ness.

Periodically, Marvel characters may make appearances (especially the more cosmic ones, such as Thor); assume this is a meeting of the multiverse kind of deal, with the other Earth perhaps being merged into the Disney one and the superheroes making do, with the new supervillains coming into conflict with the villains. Alternatively; emphasizing the Awesome of the heroine and supporting characters to serve roughly the same purpose as having legit superheroes here. For instance, consider Maui as being a Thor analogue by emphasizing his myth-appropriate raw strength and heroic deeds. Guy pulls up oceans during fishing trips!

(That said, the Marvel Growth AU from my old blog is now its entirely own thing, combined with some ideas I have for a DC one as well, as well as BNHA/My Hero Academia, as a cohesive general superhero setting. The tone of Disney Growth AU is more mundane slice of life that just so happens to take place for giant hero ladies dealing with their newfound powers, and just a hint of epic fantasy.)

Generally speaking, i will probably tag fics and thoughts specifically meant for this AU as JUST ‘disney growth AU’, for the sake of simplicity, without additional specifications.

The other version of this AU is explicitly intended to work with Crossthicc, and relies on the multiverse aspect and incorporates more obvious elements from the different versions of the characters in question. In this version, the princesses are explicitly goddesses; not just powerful heroines made mighty, but actual goddesses, and have been for some time.

They are, in-universe, widely worshiped across the multiverse under many different names and culturally relevant touchstones, but when one person pays homage to a raven-haired personification of Good Governance, and another gives their love to a goddess of orphans and adoption, it is still Snow White they worship. Consequently, they are enormously powerful and have a lot of potential domains under their influence, and mostly dwell upon a vast plane of magic that dwells beyond the material realm. This huge coterminous plane is effectively an elemental plane of magic, perhaps the metaphysical engine that keeps the World Tree of the mortal universes going, supporting that delicate soap bubble that is so easy to pop… and constantly on guard from the dreadful things trying to do just that.

It is possible that even this realm is but a reflection of their true divine power, a somewhat accessible an diminished echo of their full nature, but it's so mighty that they cannot properly exist in the mundane plane without wrecking it, instead manifesting as avatars. Depends on the need of the scenario, honestly.

The MILF fleet of crossthicc comes across these goddesses during their travels, earning their favor and interest, and a few of them send mortal avatars to stay with the fleet and experience the mortal universe, far weaker than their true selves but still shockingly powerful, and members of the God Squad that is a club of benign deities that for whatever reason are endorsing the MILF fleet.

Their home planea is much more mythic in tone, with an explicitly magitech vibe; imagine epic D&D style fantasy in an infinite universe of soaring mountains and mighty landscapes, with magically empowered technology serving the role of more mundane technological advances, and magic being absolutely universal. Take your grandest high fantasy ideas, ramp them up a 100 times, and mash them into the tropes of nobility and honor being actual forces of nature, and you have the basic approach! Here, mighty heroes fight grand monsters… and usually it's the goddesses doing this, the mightiest beings in all the cosmos, and fighting manifestations of entropy and cosmic non-existence. Their villains here are embodiments of forces like that, perhaps linked to the mysterious monsters the mortal plane is plagued with.

In this realm, mighty brave warriors ride on fearsome dragons to confront demon kings, mountains get up and walk to wrestle with one another, and the geography of the plane can shift at a moment’s notice when the currents of magic are strong enough. IT is in fact a source of magic, and does not conform to mundane notions of space-time. The plane is infinite, continuing forever, with ever more wild landscapes dissolving into chaotic potential and randomized impossibility as you get from civilization: mountains made of teeth, seas turning into boiling oil and crystalize laughter… and it gets weirder from there.

The goddess-heroines are so powerful that they stabilize this realm with their mere existence, growing more powerful and drinking deeply of the magic they generate and are empowered by, growing stronger still, and in doing so, they also reinforce the mortal realms, which is given life by this plane in some fashion. But the universes of mortals have been badly wounded, and the same applies to the princess’ realms too, and horrors pour out from them, and they must constantly quell those in hope of helping to bring peace, in some fashion, to all realms.

It is also important to note that given the different scale, they are far larger than in my usual giant lady fare; since space is more of a polite suggestion, this causes few problems, and they aren’t just planet sized. They are often universe-sized, if not even bigger, though they can adjust local space to fit them if they please, and even if they don’t, their presence causes no damage if they don’t wish it; their steps could reduce worlds to powder, but not a single living thing will be bothered by them stepping down.

(It is also possible that this realm is a primordial birthplace of souls, or an afterlife; people who perish come here, and after they work through their remaining problems, they pass on to another afterlife and perhaps later reincarnation. IT is the fate of evil beings to be reduced to food for the princesses, becoming monsters to be slain that reflect their evil hearts… or both. Some few mortal villains retain their willpower and become meances the princesses strive to defeat, and these are the villains of Disney canon that otherwise don’t fit the motif for the villainesses. Something similar might apply for the heroes and prince-types, but in terms of heroic spirits or great priests/followers of the goddesses in life. They came to love their goddesses so much, they remain by their sides forevermore. The goddesses themselves, or their bodies, may also constitute an afterlife as well.)

One more note; while this applies to the more mundane AU too, it's more prevalent here: the princesses here aren’t just based on their Disney interpretation but have elements from their other fictional interpretations too. Those who are public domain fairy tail characters, such as Snow White, have attributes from those stories as well as their many different stories incorporated in some fashion. Those who are historical figures will have attributes from real life applied more freely; for instance, in both AUs, Pocahontas is more like her real life analogue (apart from being the same age she is in the movie), down to that not being her actual name. There may also be liberal Fables (the comic series) invoked here, because i just plain like that series.

However, this AU is still intended to be mostly epic fantasy and high adventure, and should have a more or less light tone; thus, exceptionally dark or grim elements (such as those rooted in what may be the Grimm storyteller’s potential issues with women) will be ignored outright, reinterpreted, or applied in-universe as faulty propaganda.

There may also be a lot of mythological elements brought in. For example, the Seven Dwarves of Snow White are her adoptive fathers, in a sense, and are mostly Norse mythology style dwarves (and possibly svartalfar/dark elves, depending on whim), with their disney names, Doc and Sleepy and such, as pet names Snow had for them. For instance, Brok and Sindri are definitely there; Grumpy and Doc, respectively.

Effectively, in whichever AU, all the Disney cartoons are canon, with the ones more akin to Disney’s fairy tale vibes being more closely tied. More gray areas will be subject to weirdness; for instance, the series of Kim Possible might either be as more or less mundane figures in the magical plane of the goddesses, or as characters from a universe of superheroes who happen to have a connection to an appropriate goddess.

[mooney29bekker-blog]

Drop Fat With These Simple Methods And Ideas

Are you waiting around for anything to come about in your life that will motivate you to get rid of excess weight? That is by no means going to occur as long as you hold out for it. You have to make the selection and get heading with your targets. Utilizing the suggestions in this write-up can press you out the door, and moving in the appropriate course. A very good way to lose bodyweight is to take in out much less. You by no means know what goes into the meals you get when you take in out. They could be cooking your foods with lard, for all you know. It is greatest to try to eat out considerably less and concentrate on cooking for your self. Pick to travel by foot or bicycle if you desire to get rid of excess weight rapidly. Managing, walking, bicycling, rollerblading and other actual physical strategies of vacation will melt away energy. Calories taken in for the duration of the day keep in your human body. 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Do not neglect to commit by yourself to a extended-time period final result. Do the varieties of activities and exercise routines that you get pleasure from so that you will keep on to do them for a prolonged time. Shortcuts and easy fixes will only get in the way of what should be a lifelong commitment to your well being. So what are you ready for now? As was mentioned before, smart lipo cost are right here to support you get up and start off relocating. Make a prepare, act on that program and obtain accomplishment. Waiting around is hesitating. Have not you experienced ample of hesitating and pondering when you would make the alter? These days is the day!

[illegalastrology111]

KARMASTARS: MAY 13TH - MAY 19TH

ARIES

Money: The New Moon in Taurus coupled with Uranus in the same sign for 7yrs, as of May 15th, highlights the start of a new cycle presenting you with opportunities to change how you earn money, starting this week.   Saturn and Pluto both in Capricorn are retrograde until the end of September, in your house of career, goals and ambition, indicating planning and restructuring are the best course of action before embarking on a new course.

Sex:      Happiness in love can be a reality if you’re willing to go beyond the physical level to explore deep emotions buried within.

Power: Uranus in Taurus will shift you out of your comfort zone over the next few years.  If your self-worth is attached to earning money a certain way, in a specific type of job, Uranus will”pull the rug” from underneath you, leaving a void to be filled with something unique, motivating you to use other talents and abilities.  Bear in mind, Uranus causes “earthquakes” where there is stagnation.

TAURUS

Money: The New Moon in your sign this week, in conjunction with Uranus moving into your sign for 7 years, is a signal from the Universe that life as you know it is about to go through major alteration during this transit.  The New Moon will bring offers that involve being more public in order to make money.  This offer  may not be permanent but nonetheless will help you make financial steps towards greater prosperity.

Sex:      There needs to be an New foundation implemented between you and your partner, because usually people don’t stay the same, they grow and evolve. A conversation between the two of you will put things back on track.

Power: Uranus in your sign for 7 years will influence how you present yourself to the world and how the world sees you.   A chance for you to decide how you want to make money and to establish your worth and value, most of all not settling for less than you deserve.  A new outlook towards money will need to be cultivated throughout this cycle.

GEMINI

Money: The New Moon in Taurus will present an opportunity for you to make money from a situation that has brought sorrow and self-undoing.  This also applies if you’ve been the one to cause the problem, you’ll have to literally “pay the price”.  In addition make sure all financial dealings are above board.

Sex:      Clear communication and demonstrating your feelings to your partner are important to keep the relationship running smoothly, erasing any fear, insecurity and doubt your partner may have.

Power: Uranus in Taurus from May 15th could bring unexpected financial rewards or unearth financial dealings kept secret that weren’t karmically correct. Either way, this is cycle to change bad financial habits, pay debts and be a giver not a taker.

CANCER

Money: New joint financial partnerships, possibly with friends/groups could prove to be rewarding if it’s a unique and different idea.  Nothing too conventional will do. The people that come with the offer will provide a chance for you to not only explore your creative energies in more depth, but empower you to realize there’s money to be made using  your creative abilities.

Sex:     Personal relationships that are longstanding need to be redefined this week, especially boundaries and freedoms, in order to avoid causing unnecessary upset between you and  your partner.

Power: The transit of Uranus through Taurus for 7 years, will shake-up existing friendships so that only those that are sincere remain.  Don’t try to hang-on, let them go and allow new people to replace them, people who appreciate you on all levels.

LEO

Money: A new career opportunity that will enhance your authority/power and bring in more cash will present itself this week.   However, you must give thought to how acceptance of this offer will affect others in and around your life. Sacrifices may have to be made to accommodate the needs of others.

Sex:      You can’t be the sole decision-maker when it comes to love. You have to be open to the opinions of your partner too.

Power: Your house of recognition, power and authority will be affected by Uranus moving into Taurus this week until 2025.   Without a doubt you’ll experience a shift of power, maybe even a reversal of fortune that requires a new budget.  Whatever happens “go with the flow” and allow the Universe to lead you towards greater prosperity in a new format. During this time period a new expansive, updated view of things, life, people and service to others will be necessary, in order to get the best out of this cycle.

VIRGO

Money: A financial opportunity/invitation to expand current horizons outside of your normal foundation of life will manifest, it may even eventually involve travel and or dealing with people from other cultures/countries.  At the same time legal matters to do with money/financial dealings in some capacity will become important.

Sex:      Love will be at its best and most positive this week as the good fortune you experience spills over, so that both you and your partner enjoy the “fruits of your labors”

Power: With Uranus in Taurus affecting your house of good luck, travel, expansion, opportunities, beliefs, far-away places, other cultures, legal matters and publishing, expect encouragement and support form others to be your best and look your best. If necessary change your style to enhance your presence and attract opportunity.  Belief in higher principles and concepts will serve you well.

LIBRA

Money: If people want to join forces with you to make money don’t be afraid to say yes, or at least give it consideration, especially if it will enhance your self-worth and value.  Anything connected to beauty, clothes and fashion will have a favorable outcome.

Sex:      The people that truly care and appreciate you are the ones to keep close in your life, removing the ones that seem to undermine you on various levels.

Power: The Uranus in Taurus transit will enhance  your creative talents.  However, you must have the confidence to see and think out-of-the box, taking risks not yet thought of by others.    At the same time beware of jealousy.

SCORPIO

Money: New contractual agreements that involve working with the public in some way will be offered this week.  You’ll make the most money and maximize your success if you’re able to present something unique and different.

Sex:      A level of commitment has to be agreed upon by you and your partner in order to maintain the stability of the relationship.  

Power: The Uranus in Taurus aspect highlights talents and abilities that are special and help you stand out from your peers.  Plus this aspect will show you your current image just won’t do.  You need more forward thinking ideas and approach to make your mark.

SAGITTARIUS

Money: If you’re really serous about changing the way you earn money/work, the Uranus Taurus aspect will bring a shift and attitude with plenty of unexpected opportunities to show what you can really do.  This will also help you step out of restrictions/limitations holding you back.    The New Moon this week is no exception.  Whatever offer you receive, consider it a small “stepping stone” upwards in the right direction.  Don’t fear change.

Sex:      Buy your partner a small gift or send them flowers and a note to express your feelings/appreciation towards them.  It will be well received.

Power: Your personal charisma, tact and grace will be the highlight during Uranus/Taurus cycle. This is not a time to be still. Listen to the “Sound of the Universe” and move forward with it.   Also pay attention to unusual digestive problems and/or allergies the might occur as a result of rich/spicy foods/sweets that your body is resisting.

CAPRICORN

Money: This week the New Moon in Taurus brings an opportunity to put your creative skills to work in a way that could become a money-maker if handled correctly.  Even better if the opportunity puts you at the center of attention, you should maximize it to its fullest potential and dress for success.

Sex:      Love relationships that make you happy and are supportive on all levels is the way to long-lasting happiness, allowing friendship to be the foundation to keep love going strong.   The Uranus in Taurus aspect also affects love, suggesting that you must be careful to not allow others to spoil/undermine any success/happiness you have achieved in love or cause separations.

Power: Unique creative skills are the highlight of Uranus in Taurus cycle, this will be the time to show the world what you can really do and are capable of. At the same time a change of job and/or home is likely as opportunities pour into your life.  This transit will be the one where much of what you’ve been wanting and waiting for comes to fruition, which in turn could cause jealousy among “friends”.

AQUARIUS

Money: Making your home vibrate a feeling of prosperity, as changes made will be such that “space”is created to allow a new cycle of financial opportunity to begin. Think of Feng Shui and what needs to be implemented at home to make this happen.   At the same time, if you receive an offer to increase finances from home look at it asa start of this new cycle.  

Sex:     Something special for your partner will be unexpected but give them  a greater sense of security in the relationship.

Power: The Uranus/Taurus transit affects home, family, foundation of life, so expect to move or travel away from home during the next 7 years.    The move will be a result of increased financial prosperity and/or necessity as sudden changes occur in this area of life.

PISCES

Money: Communication you receive this week will present you with an offer to make money.   What you hear will come as a surprise and probably require a quick decision of action.  However, you should still make it a priority to think before you take action, in order to get the best out of the opportunity.

Sex:       As long as you and your partner are committed to working at the relationship, serving each other’s needs, the relationship will thrive beyond your wildest dreams.

Power: Uranus in Taurus for 7 years, affects business, projects, plans and ideas, the mind, communication, studies, relatives and siblings.  Any unusual ideas you come up with have the potential to reap tremendous financial reward. There will also be unexpected changes with siblings, relatives and neighbors. Expect your mind to be at its most powerful and best. Sudden travel is also highlighted.  Anything involving social media will prove to be successful if handled correctly.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Offering (M)

Author: @kpopfanfictrash , as part of Exordia Academy - a series of ongoing one shots with @underthejoon 

Creative Content Contributors: moodboard by @whyyoutrynaflexandyourfashionoff (BASICALLY A GENIUS, LOOK)

Pairing: reader / Yixing

Rating: 18 + (explicit sex)

Word Count: 7,425

Superpower: Molecular manipulation

Summary:    Yixing has complete control. Over himself, his body, the molecules which make him. Yixing can alter or change at will - each time with a clinical sort of detachment. Until he finds you, and remembers there are some things worth caring for.

The classroom is empty when Yixing arrives. He sits in the back, as distanced from the teacher as possible because although Yixing likes being early, he doesn’t like to be seen. Coming early was strategy, since most of the time people don’t look at the room when they enter. They focus mainly on the front, they look around at the empty seats while deciding where to sit. Most won’t notice Yixing – and those that do, he can easily avoid with downcast eyes.

It’s not that he doesn’t like people, but – wait, no. That’s exactly it. Yixing doesn’t like people. Specifically, he doesn’t understand the hopeful exuberance of the children who surround him. Children, he calls them, for that’s what they are to him. Yixing is – here he pauses, tilting his head. He’s old, that much is a given. It’s hard to say how old, though. There was a very confusing period around Christ’s birth, when no one knew what year was coming or going. When time reset itself to zero (Yixing cracks a smile, remembering), the entire century following was a bit murky.

Sliding down in his seat, Yixing blows hair from his forehead. His fingers trace the table before him, narrowing his gaze at the sight of his hands. His power is, simply put, unusual. Yixing can manipulate molecules. He can rearrange them, repair them, cause them to grow or shrink. He can control the shape of things, reform the world as he likes – though currently, Yixing has no interest in doing either. Since the last war, he’s lost most of his faith in humanity. The thing he currently holds most control over, is himself – and even this, most of the time is accidental.

Yixing does not age. He cannot, his body rejects it, deciding instead to regenerate each time. A grey hair? Gone the next day. Creaky knee? Fixed, overnight. Over and over – a force of habit, some reflex instilled, determined to make him survive. Mostly, Yixing doesn’t even realize what’s happening. His body acts on instinct, separate to whatever input Yixing might like to have.

Waving a finger, Yixing causes a hole to open in his desk. It widens, dropping lower, lower, deeper –

“Cool,” you announce, sliding into the seat beside him. “What power is that? Biblical?”

Yixing looks up. “Sorry?” he asks, having never spoken with you before.

You just look at him, then lower your gaze to the hole. “You know,” you nod. “Biblical. That power seems super… hole-y.”

Yixing stares, uncertain why you’ve decided to converse. “That was…” he shakes his head. “Anyways.” Facing forward, he doesn’t bother to elaborate. It’s not as though you’d understand molecular manipulation, anyways.

Shrugging, you seem unconcerned with his dismissal. Pulling your notebook from your bag, you uncap your pen between the front of your teeth. “Oh,” you exhale, looking over. “That’s neat. Is it control over any molecule, or just certain ones?”

Yixing’s gaze snaps up. When he sees you grinning, understanding dawns and he sighs. “Fucking mind readers,” Yixing grumbles, sliding lower in his chair. “Did I ask you to mess with my mind?”

Pursing your lips, you consider. “Seeing as I can’t quite control my powers, and you were basically screaming the words my way – I’d say yeah, you did.”

“I wasn’t screaming,” Yixing responds stiffly. “I never scream, if I can help it.”

“Ah,” you sadly arch a brow. “You were, though. You were louder than Baekhyun – who,” twisting around, you catch sight of a boy several rows back, “needs to stop thinking about fucking his best friend in the middle of class. People are trying to learn, here, Aquaboy.”

Baekhyun’s cheeks flush red. “Hey!” he complains, scrunching up his face. “That was a private daydream, it’s ten cents to ride! Here,” declares, gesturing loosely in your direction, “take my mental knives, thrown your way!”

Yixing watches this entire exchange with distaste. “Lovely,” he murmurs, before bowing his head to look at his notebook.

When you hear him speak, you turn around. “But really,” you continue, as though you never stopped talking. “Is it any molecule?”

Rather than answer, Yixing waves a hand. While you watch, his hair turns scarlet-red. When you inhale, eyes wide – Yixing quickly frowns, changing it back. His cheeks are warm, and he tells himself this is due to several people now staring. Not because you are, and not because you’re pretty, which is obvious to Yixing, now that he looks. Especially with your lips parted like that, eyes wide with excitement.

Yixing swallows, looking down at his desk. “Any molecule,” he confirms dully, writing his name at the top of the page.

You settle into your seat, about to respond – as the professor enters, drawing your attention back to the board. For the next sixty minutes, you don’t speak but Yixing sees in the corner of his eyes that you’re staring. He tries not to look, feeling as though he’s being horrifyingly obvious about this, but it’s hard when you’re being so determinedly not subtle. Yixing would laugh, if he weren’t so annoyed.

When a note lands on his desk, Yixing looks up. Arching a brow, you nod for him to continue when he unfurls the paper. Your words are cramped, handwriting small and Yixing squints, bringing this close to his face. Bless this decade and the invention of contact lenses.

Does this mean you change your appearance often?

Yixing leans – scribbling furiously, on the edge of his desk. When he throws the note back, he doesn’t bother being gentle and you catch this, uncrumpling the note to scan his barely-there sentence he’s written.

I’m not just changing my appearance – I’m changing myself, changing my molecules.

Frowning, you let your hair make a curtain leaning lean forward. “So, how old are you truly?” you whisper back.

Yixing looks up in surprise, since it normally takes people much longer than that to catch on. At his expression, you smirk, sinking back in your seat. The next note you write is slow, drawn-out and Yixing waits patiently – hating the fact that he cares at all. The second he thinks this, Yixing backtracks. He doesn’t care, not really. He’s just interested. Caring leads to feelings, which inevitably leads to Yixing getting hurt.

If you hear this thought, you don’t show it. The next note you write is tossed sideways with equal abandon.

I’m Y/N. My power is telepathy, I’m an Anomaly. I’m allergic to peanuts and live in fear of other telepaths, despite it being my power. I thought you should know something about me, since I took knowledge accidentally from you.

For just a moment, Yixing looks at the paper. It feels warm, folded neatly between fingertips and slowly, he sets this down on the table. Before he can respond though, the professor at the front clears his throat. “Your essays are due next Wednesday,” he reminds, shuffling his papers. “I suggest you stop by office hours if you have questions – I’m happy to provide additional resources. That is all, see you next class.”

All around him, people are standing. Yixing remains seated, fist closed tight around the note that you sent. You’re bright, cheerful – full of breath and air and life, only serving to remind Yixing of the things he is not. Slowly, he stands. “Thank you for making things even,” he allows, inclining his head. “I’m not looking to get to know anyone like that, though. Thank you.”

He leaves. Brushing past and ignoring the tiny inhale of breath you make, halfway between hurt and confusion. He knows you weren’t expecting him to say that and honestly, Yixing doesn’t blame you.

Most people don’t understand his walls and his boundaries. Most don’t understand this carefully cultivated façade – one reinforced over decades, with the sole intention of keeping him safe. His walls keep Yixing whole because as lovely as love is, as warm as those feelings are – the pain, agony which follows, when they die and Yixing does not – this, he knows to be one thousand times worse.

Pushing open the door, Yixing steps out onto the pavement. It’s winter, that dreary period after the holidays when the air is cold and you feel as though you might never become warm again. Yixing’s breath puffs in the air, hands sliding into pockets as he walks quickly down and across the quad. Classes have been in session for several weeks, meaning Yixing isn’t sure why today was the first time he saw you.

It took courage, when you spoke to him. Thinking this, Yixing’s insides deflate and he kicks loosely at a stone on the ground. He’s never been that great with physical observation. Day to day life changes quickly, it’s hard for him to keep up. The big things always stay the same, he reasons. War, famine, poverty, anger – these things never change, even if the news comes by TV, radio, or carrier pigeon. Everything else, everything else Yixing sees, he considers white noise.

Not for the first time, Yixing wonders why he bothers. For someone as old as he is, as indestructible as he is – Yixing already knows most of what is taught in school. He knows beyond that, meaning he really should be the one teaching, rather than learning. When the letter came in the mail though, offering him a chance at free education – Yixing couldn’t bring himself to pass.

If there’s one thing he loves, it’s learning. The desire to understand is one thing which has stood the test of time. It’s this, that propels Yixing forward, which encourages him to care. Humans exhibit a remarkable tenacity to grow and learn and be. They’re curious – even for the answers they don’t yet understand. Yixing supposes he should include himself in this category, but it’s hard. For so long now, Yixing has considered himself an outsider.

Knowledge is easier to understand than humans. Knowledge is comprised of facts and Yixing feels no special attachment to facts, is not insulted if they change. People are an entirely different matter. Walking somewhat faster, Yixing curls his fingers around the spine of the note – unable to stop wondering why he took it. He can’t help but wonder why he cares and it’s this that brings a slow, sinking certainty to his thoughts.

Yixing has loved many times over the years, but the last one was most painful of all. She was a fighter, determined to make a difference and for the cause she loved, she gave her life. She fought for equality, at a time there was none; demanded a voice, when no one would listen. It was at a rally, when she died. Back in the 60’s, in a time of dissent: a man, a gun and a singular, errant shot. She died in the capitol, in what should have been the heart of freedom and that was the day Yixing stopped caring – that was the day he swore never again, to let another in.

Yixing has stubbornly kept his vow. He’s kept it throughout peace and prosperity, through uncertainty and war. Never since, has Yixing fallen in love. Never since, has he cared – until today. Until now, with your questioning gaze and the ability to see through him. Crumpling your note further, Yixing continues to walk. It doesn’t do, he tells himself, to dwell on what could’ve been.

Even while thinking this, a strain of uncertainty enters his thoughts. It doesn’t do to dwell on what could have been, yes but if nothing ever happens – can one call that life a success?

Yixing doesn’t know if he has an answer for that.

It’s nearly a month later, he sees you. Aside from your class, since Yixing sees you there twice a week, every week – though in class, you sit pointedly away from him, on the opposite side of the room. There, you remain focused on the board. Listening, leaning, raising your hand whenever you have an answer. This shouldn’t be an unusual occurrence in a classroom full of students but somehow, Yixing always finds that it is.

When you have ideas, you speak. When you don’t, you listen. Your laugh is quick, perhaps a tad too loud but never disingenuous – something Yixing also finds to be a rarity. Your style of clothing is classic, though every now and again you wear something which makes him stare – and Yixing wonders continuously if maybe that’s the point. Because he stares quite a lot now. His gaze is continuously drawn to your corner, bothersome to him for many reasons. Not in the least because nothing good can come of this.

Yixing knows you can read his thoughts. He knows that you could if you wanted but somehow, doesn’t think that you do. He thinks that you block him, the exact same way he did you and this frustrates Yixing, more than he realizes. He acts as though he doesn’t care, but continues to notice. Continues to look your way and now that he has, Yixing can’t seem to stop.

It must be why he sees you, walking home from the library. Yixing was studying before this, holed up in a great stack on the upper floor no one visits. His reading kept being interrupted though, by the presence of a certain visiting professor. He barged into on the make-out corner, again and again as he yelled with his bullhorn to chase errant students away. After the third such instance, Yixing pushes himself to stand. He doesn’t blame the professor. The man is just trying to preserve the sanctity of the library – a cause Yixing fervently agrees with.

Scooping up his books and slinging his backpack on, Yixing makes his way outside. It’s not a long walk to his apartment but the path between here and there is entirely dark. Barely even a streetlight to guard against the fears of the night.

He’s ten minutes into his walk when he sees you. You’re standing alone, practically motionless – just your profile visible from the streetlamp above. Still, Yixing sees you tense and when you lower your body to a defensive position – Yixing notices the two other figures behind you.

They approach quickly, one on either side and Yixing’s heart sinks quickly down to his stomach. Almost without thinking, he’s removing his gloves. Shoving them haphazardly into pockets as he bends, breaking out in a jog. He doesn’t think, doesn’t stop to consider anything besides, stop, stop, please stop. You’re too fragile, too delicate – and perhaps it’s wrong of him, to think this. Yixing has never seen you fight, he doesn’t know how you are. To Yixing though, everyone he cares for is delicate. Everyone he loves is tenuous, and Yixing is all too aware how easily things are broken.

The first attacker teleports. They disappear, reappearing behind you – and you duck, blending neatly into the night. You’re reading their thoughts, Yixing realizes. Seeing their pattern a split-second before they do, anticipating their next move with your own. You’re quick – so fast you don’t see the second attacker coming. Their arm slams straight into your chest, sending their power of electricity coursing through you.

Your head rears when you scream, noise splitting the night as your knees slam, hard, to the pavement. Your entire body jerks, scrambling to move – and Yixing arrives on the scene. He says nothing, not announcing his presence while quickly and smoothly dismantling the fight. Yixing’s anger has always been a cold, hard thing. It spirals through his veins, freezing his thoughts as he slams a hole in the ground.

The pavement cracks, sinking while the second attacker teeters on the edge. She flails wildly before falling, Yixing leaping in after. Grabbing her body, he uses his other hand to shove a wall of gravel between you and the first attacker – pushing them easily aside, as his hold tightens around the girl’s neck. Her fighting weakens, fading into unconsciousness while Yixing lowers her gently to the ground.

When he hops from the pit, ready for more – he finds to his surprise, the teleporter hasn’t moved. Instead the man scowls, pushing back his hood to reveal –

“Professor Tuttle?” Yixing takes a step back, confused.

The martial arts professor crosses his arms over his chest. “What in the hell,” he asks, relatively calm, “are you doing, young man?’

Yixing stares back, breathing heavily since the wall he made was quite difficult. As he flounders, struggling to think of an explanation – you step into place beside him.

“You,” you hiss, steam practically rising from your ears. “What were you thinking, interrupting my midterm? You know this will lower my final grade, don’t you?”

Yixing looks back, expression dazed. “I’m sorry,” he bows, before turning to face the professor. He keeps his head low, ashamed. “I didn’t realize. I thought the student was being unfairly attacked.”

After a long moment of silence, Yixing looks up – only to find the professor pursing his lips. “I appreciate the honor you showed, Yixing. I assure you though, Y/N had the situation fully under control.”

Despite Yixing’s personal thoughts on this matter, he nods. It didn’t look as though you had everything under control. But then he falters, considering he may have misjudged. Perhaps you were fine, and he just overlaid his own fears over yours. Perhaps Yixing was thinking of past mistakes, times when he didn’t act fast enough – times when he trusted too much, and ended up paying the ultimate price.

Though Yixing’s chest squeezes uncomfortably, he nods his head. “Understood,” he says curtly. “I apologize, for the intrusion.”

When he looks at you, you hold your chin high. After a long moment of silence, you nod. “Apology accepted.”

“Good,” Professor Tuttle claps, rubbing his hands against the cold. “Then, I suggest we wake Professor Ahn. We can reschedule your midterm, Y/N, for another day.”

You wince but nod, since this is better than expected. As Professor Tuttle hops into the pit, Yixing turns to go – surprised, when you reach out to touch his arm. He looks down, finding you your gaze oddly steady. Your expression is curious, not containing any of the anger he expected.

“You said you didn’t want to be friends,” you ask, tilting your head. “Said you didn’t want anything of the kind, so why did you try and save me?”

For a moment, Yixing considers telling the truth – then he sighs, pushing this notion away. The truth would make him sound better than he is, and Yixing doesn’t want you to think this. “I’m just a concerned citizen,” he responds stiffly, turning away.

“Who’s the woman?” you call out, stopping Yixing dead in his tracks.

A pang echoes his body, realizing you saw. You saw her face in his thoughts, and Yixing inadvertently grits his teeth before whirling around. “None of your business,” he snaps. “She’s no one – not anymore.”

Immediately, Yixing regrets his tone. It’s not your fault, none of this is. He expects you to be offended, appalled by his anger – so he’s surprised, when you continue to hold your ground. You stare back at him, eyes heavy with understanding. “I’m sorry,” you say simply – then exhale, turning around. “I’m sorry you lost someone,” your words are carried back to him on the breeze, “so have I, and I know it’s not easy.”

Both your voice and footsteps fade to nothing, a dull hollow on the brick of the alley. Yixing stares after you, surprised to find himself feeling… alone. He’s always alone, but rarely feels it – being lonely is a much different sensation. For the first time in the long time, the numbness which swallows him, feels like a burden rather than gift.

In the following weeks, Yixing thinks about you more than he’d like. Of course, his preference would be not to think of you at all – so it’s necessary to take his feelings with a grain of salt. His interest in you though, can no longer be contained to just a classroom. Now, Yixing searches for you wherever he goes. He looks for you in the dining hall, the quad, each time he enters the library. He scans each site eagerly, hoping to see your face or hear your laugh.

Strangely enough, he never sees you. Perhaps this isn’t unusual, since you’re a telepath. You can hear him coming, and might be using his thoughts to avoid him. It’s weeks later, before Yixing finally sees you face to face.

Every few months, Yixing is struck by a strange desire to be near people. Not in an outgoing kind of way, but in an observational manner. It’s days like these when he goes into the town, picks a random restaurant and eats alone.

As Yixing walks through the door, he wonders if this is sad. Wonders if he’s thinking of life wrong, by ignoring the idea of pain. When he looks back on his greatest sorrows – Yixing is correct, they all have to do with love. But then, extending the same train of thought – so do his times of greatest happiness. Solitude is a peaceful kind of joy; the quiet comfort of books, tea, sweatpants. Another miraculous invention of humanity, the sweatpants.

Solitude isn’t brilliant, though. It is not vivid happiness, that which arrives by being loved – it’s not the wild, tumultuous joy of being seen. Heard. His happiest moments were caused by others, by the voices of friends and family and Yixing wonders then if he’s wrong, to keep that vow he once made.

Just as he’s thinking this, he looks up – and sees you staring.

You’re sitting, fork frozen halfway to your mouth as he pauses in shaking his napkin out in his lap. You’re at the table opposite – two chairs empty between the two of you. You look beautiful, Yixing thinks. Hair curled, a very pretty dress on your body. You’re also alone, it seems. There’s no place set across from you, just the salad before you. As you take a bite, chewing determinedly, Yixing reaches out over his table.

He doesn’t look away, as he brings his glass of water to his lips. When he watches, arching a brow, you sink slowly back in your seat. Saying nothing, as the next twenty minutes go by. Yixing exhales, deciding to test your powers.

I like your dress, he offers.

Your shoulders stiffen, and Yixing watches you tense. You seem to steel yourself then before nodding – just once, not meeting his gaze.

Yixing almost smiles. He cuts into his chicken, bringing a piece to his lips. You were right, he admits, falling quiet once more. He rehearses, reciting the many words he wants to say to you – then stops, wondering if you can hear this recitation as well. It’s true, I’ve lost someone. I’ve lost many someone’s, over the past millennia.

Lips tightening, you don’t dare respond. You merely take another sip, setting your glass back upon the table.

It’s why I didn’t want to get to know you. I can’t stand knowing, only to have you ripped away – it’s happened too often. I made a vow not to let it happen again. Yixing stops thinking then, smoothing his fingers out across the table.

Rather than think with words, Yixing just hopes you see him as he does. He hopes you see the image of yourself because to him, you’re stunning. Your throat curves elegantly away from the light, dark eyelashes spilled over cheekbones. Fingers held taut on top of the tablecloth – Yixing swallows. He can’t let you see that, can’t let you know what he’d like those fingertips to do.

You look up though, cheeks aflame and Yixing realizes you’ve heard. He sees that you’ve seen and rather than be embarrassed, he doesn’t look away. Yixing stares back, reaching out again with his mind.

What if, he pauses. What if we tried to be friends?

Lifting your brows, you very nearly smile. Yixing frowns, not needing to read minds to know what you’re thinking.

Just because I want that, he clarifies. Doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

Your answering gaze is mischievous – and Yixing knows it’s because you don’t agree. He rolls his eyes, shrugging a shoulder. That’s all I’m offering. Take it, or leave it.

Expression softening, you become serious when you open your mouth. “Yes,” you respond aloud, and Yixing stifles his smile.

Being friends turns out to be partly annoying and mostly enjoyable. The annoying bit, is how often you force Yixing to socialize. Dragging him to parties, making him sit in the common spaces of dorms. Yixing does so hesitantly, having not seen the inside of a dorm room in years.

You introduce him to a lot of people, insisting Yixing can’t hate everyone – much to his surprise, he finds out that he doesn’t. He becomes close friends to Minseok – although come to think of it, you weren’t the facilitator of that friendship. You’d barely spoken to Minseok, when Yixing reached out a hand.

Minseok is feared on campus, a fact to which Yixing takes offense. He has a similar power, so he decides to offer him what help he can. Minseok is different though, in that he can create something from nothing – an addition Yixing has never seen before but finds interesting and intriguing enough to learn. It’s nice, he finds, to have people able to understand him. It’s nice, he remembers, to have people who see past, who understand, his façade. Minseok does, Minseok understands and slowly, Yixing’s circle of acquaintances grows.

He also makes friends with Sehun – someone you introduce him to, as Sehun is dating a friend of yours from the dorm. Yixing doesn’t expect to like Sehun, since he’s even quieter than himself – and is pleasantly surprised, at how quickly they bond. Mostly in video games and reading – for Yixing, this means novels and for Sehun, comics. He even loans some to Yixing who, despite having previously spurned the genre, becomes hopelessly entrenched in the Watchmen series. It’s darker than he thought it’d be, the alternate spin on current events intriguing.

Sehun laughs often, since Yixing keeps getting tangled up in impossibilities. “No, no, no,” Yixing exhales, jabbing angrily at the page. “I saw a timeline to this effect years ago. It was in Europe and believe me – this war wouldn’t have been won, not in that way. Ah,” he exhales, hair falling into his eyes. “I appreciate the creativity from this artist, but come on.”

Sehun tosses another issue his way. “Have another,” he grins, before returning to his pages.

Your room as well, becomes all too familiar. You’re a haven in the middle of campus and likewise, you spend entirely too much time in Yixing’s apartment. Flopping aimlessly down on his couch, stomach flat against the cushions while you rest your chin upon his armrest. Flicking past each channel on TV, complaining loudly about how Yixing has yet to upgrade to color. “It’s 1986,” you whine, when he sinks beside you on the couch.

Easing closer, so as not to disturb you – Yixing realizes this doesn’t matter, when you rearrange your head on his lap. Yixing rolls his eyes but doesn’t attempt to move. He likes the weight of you there, despite his protests.

“What?” you blink, staring at the TV. “Your lap is comfier than the couch. That’s all.”

Even though he should, Yixing doesn’t push you away. He knows this is bad, since your head is entirely too close for comfort. It’s exhausting, trying to hide his thoughts from you. He knows you’re friends, nothing more – it’s what he wanted, what he asked for. Yixing reminds himself of this daily and yet, he wants it. He wants this, wants you – and freezes, when you turn to look at him.

Your eyes are wide, innocent – and Yixing groans out loud. “Don’t,” he chastises, gritting his teeth. “Don’t you dare read my mind.”

You just grin, pushing higher. You must be aware – must be – of how amazing your breasts look, from this angle. You must know Yixing is fighting for control. Fighting to control his breath, his body, his goddamn thoughts. 

It’s too much, which is why it’s unsurprising, when one slips through. When you suck in a breath, Yixing realizes you’ve seen. Just an image, one Yixing quickly snaps back – but it’s too late, it’s done. You’ve seen yourself naked, his head between your legs. Pinning you to his bed as he makes you come, over and over –

Yixing is aware, then of the tension. The room is thick with it, a needy sensation winding its way between your legs. You want him to reach for you, to settle you onto his lap, to weave his hands in your hair – and gently, Yixing pushes you away. He stands from the couch, struggling to conceal his boner while walking awkwardly into the bathroom. “Be right back,” he grunts, hastily shutting the door.

Leaning his head against the frame, Yixing wonders if the two of you have an expiration date. Eventually, there will come a moment when the pain of being with him is more painful than not. You’ll leave then, since Yixing is incapable of giving you what you need. As he opens his eyes, Yixing freely exhales. You should leave. You should give yourself to someone who wants you, someone who can give themselves back to you entirely.

Every time Yixing tries to, every time he attempts to break his rules – he’s crushed by the memory of last time, the last time he failed. The knot in his stomach tightens, since he wants to move past this. He wants to be past the guilt, the nausea, the horrible fear of feeling something again. He wants this so badly, but heartbreak isn’t something you can count on a timer. Some holes in life don’t heal, some pain is consuming, even after many centuries. Yixing might forget a face, might forget a voice – but never, does he forget those he loved. Love is transcendent of time, space. Each time it ends, it’s harder to open himself up again.

Exhaling, when Yixing finally opens the door – and finds you gone.

When Yixing leaves the next morning, he doesn’t expect you to be there. He expects you to avoid him and despite the void he feels at the thought, he doesn’t blame you. He’s the one pushing you away. He’s the one rejecting you – this can only happen so many times, before you leave.

Yixing knows what he feels. He knows this, with the certainty of the sea knowing the moon. Eased and turned and nudged in a direction – new and confusing, but also not. If feels as though you’ve been there, since the beginning of time, just waiting for him to look up.

Each time Yixing has fallen in love, it’s been different. Some were dark, burning, consuming desires – these loves drained him, swallowed him whole. These ravaged him in dark spaces, burnt through his skin to emerge, smothered and broken on the other side. This kind of love is pleasurable, but hollow. It mostly ends in tragedy, with heartbreak and Yixing has little patience for this kind of love anymore.

The other love is gentler. These kinds grow from nothing, twisting and unfurling until they stand tall, before him. Sometimes this is less exciting – but always, it is stronger. You are somehow both. You are both garden and flame, haven and fear and Yixing can’t quite reconcile your contradiction. When he sees you, he softens and when he touches, he smolders.

Yixing is afraid of losing you. He’s afraid of losing you, but he’s more afraid of having you entirely, because if he loses you then – Yixing thinks this might destroy him. It’s why, when he descends the stairs and sees you waiting, his heart skips a beat in his chest.

You look up, meeting his gaze. “Ready for class?” you ask, oddly calm.

When you move to leave, Yixing follows. He’s unsure if he should ask, about last night. Maybe he should check, confirm everything is okay – that the two of you are still friends, that you’re both in agreement of the situation. For a moment, Yixing wishes he could read your mind. He wants to give up his power – even more than usual – he wants, against all better judgement, to have yours. He wants to know inside your mind, to understand who you are at your core.

It’s a gift, he thinks, that you know him and stay. You hear his deepest thoughts, darkest secrets – and for some reason, want to continue. This is one thing Yixing can’t fathom. He wishes to know you like that, to offer the same kind of gift.

Slowly, you look his way. “I’ll wait,” you say softly, before changing the topic. You ask him about an upcoming exam – Yixing barely can process, given the thing you just said. He answers automatically, around the shock of your previous statement and the two of you lapse into conversation.

When he’s home though, when he’s alone and re-reading Sehun’s comic for the seventeenth time – he remembers. And, setting his pages down in his lap, Yixing wonders. He wonders how long you’ll be willing to wait.

Though you pretend it’s fine, Yixing notices your changes. You used to touch easily, touch happily – now your hand withdraws, before you get that far. You meet his gaze only to look away, as though scared he’ll see you and understand what you’re thinking. You’re scared of mind readers, Yixing remembers from your note.

This continues for days, as Yixing grows more and more impatient. Not with you, but with himself. He keeps pushing you away, trying to alleviate one set of fears – only to give rise to new ones, ones which might be worse than before. You’re walking home from class one day, chatting about nothing when Yixing stops suddenly on the sidewalk.

“Want to come over to my place, tonight?” he asks, and you falter ahead of him.

Slowly, you turn to look at him. This is the first contact Yixing has initiated. The first time he’s asked you over – it’s always you, doing the asking and Yixing begrudgingly accepting. After a long moment your expression falters, uncertain what he means – uncertain what to do, given his invitation. Reaching out his hand, Yixing quietly takes yours. He looks down, urging you silently to accept his offering.

Looking at your fingers, interlaced together, you seem to make a decision. “Yes,” you breathe, then pull away.

All around you, the winter melts into spring. The days are lengthening, and walking to his place you find this fact blazingly clear. Beneath your feet, the sidewalk is damp, wet with the runoff of snow and ice and Yixing glances sideways, taking in your face as he considers what now.

Back in his apartment, you don’t sink onto his couch as you used to. You sit ramrod straight, drawing your knees up to your chest to nod at the TV. “What do you want to watch,” you ask, clearing your throat. “Something awful, where I won’t mind seeing it in non-color.”

You’re kidding, a half-smile curving your lips and when he realizes this, Yixing starts to laugh. The sound is easy, happy – and Yixing realizes then, how seldom he’s heard it. How little he’s laughed, over the past decades, and this is the moment he decides. He wants to laugh, again.

Something in your expression changes, looking up at him. Yixing wonders if you’ve heard, wonders if you know. Gently, you nod and Yixing blinks, heart faltering. When you lean into him, stopping just a breath away from his lips – Yixing pauses, hands sliding gently beneath the slant of your chin.

“Yixing,” you exhale. “I don’t want to be just friends.”

Yixing nods. His fears creep upwards, filled with sudden doubt and uncertainty – but he quietly, gently pushes this aside. “Okay,” he whispers, before his lips claim yours.

You open your mouth, heart hammering as his thumb traces gently over a cheekbone. When he pulls away, eyes glazed, you blush at the sight of his face. Yixing’s skin is feverish and you stare at him shocked, before crushing your lips to his.

Yixing groans, lost in the feel of you. One of your legs bends between his, pressing hastily as he fumbles to grab onto your hips. Yixing moves you higher, grunting as you somehow manage to land smack in his lap. His eyes widen, staring upwards – he teeters precariously on the edge, the precipice of a moment he isn’t willing to break.

Your eyes soften. Pushing a hand through his hair, you slowly bring his lips to yours. “Yixing,” you exhale, the sound wildfire in his veins.

It turns Yixing into someone weak and needy – someone longing for your touch, unsatisfied by anything else. He crushes your lips to his, since before, he was gentle. Before, he was uncertain. This has been replaced by the fervent idea of never having wanted anything so badly as he does you.

Rolling his hips, he pushes himself upwards and you let out a tiny mewl, feeling him harden. Yixing strains against his jeans, pressed to your center as your nails dig mercilessly into his back. Yixing opens your mouth with his, kissing hungrily. His tongue needy, hot while you inch his shirt higher.

It's the first time you’ve kissed – Yixing tries to remind himself of this, tries to remember to take thins slow. On the other hand, this moment has been building for months. He’s been thinking of you for so long now, and so have you. You waited for him, you waited for this – and Yixing reasons the two of you have waited long enough.

Standing suddenly, he takes you with. Locking both legs around his waist, kissing you eagerly as he moves into his bedroom. Yixing sets you on top of his bed, taking a step back to watch for a moment. He stares – your legs spread, lips parted. “Strip,” he demands, quiet. “I want to see you.”

Your eyes darken as you obey, lifting your shirt overhead to drop onto the ground. Next are your jeans – these catch at your ankles, before you kick these and your socks to the floor. Yixing takes off his shirt in response, hands sliding down to his belt as you reach to unhook your bra.

When this disappears, Yixing feels his cock twitch with pleasure. He wants his mouth on your body, wants to lick and suck and tease, until you’re wanton beneath him. Gasping his name and pushing upwards – you inhale quickly, seeing his trail of his thoughts.

Leaning back, you ease your panties down to spread your legs. Yixing groans at the sight. “Ah, fuck,” he murmurs, pushing his jeans to the floor. His cock is hard, tented at the front of his boxers and when he kneels, you reach out for him – stroking his length, between the crux of his thighs.

“You’re so hard,” you exhale, rubbing the tip of him through his cotton. “Is that from the things you’ve been imagining, from the things you want to do to me?”

Yixing nods, swallowing when you ease his boxers lower. Pushing them down as his cock springs up, hard against his stomach. “Baby,” he whispers, and you look upwards.

Softening, you lean back on his sheets. Spreading your legs further, so he can see how wet you are. How wet he’s made you. “What do you want first?” you whisper, and Yixing hesitates.

Eventually, he wants this to be slow. Eventually, he wants to devour you whole, hands on every inch of you but right now, you’ve been waiting for so long. Right now, all Yixing wants to do is make you come. Lowering himself between your thighs, his hands move carefully from your knees to your hips. When his tongue finds your sex, tracing over you skillfully, you moan. Hands fisting in the sheets, as he gently sucks on your clit.

Yixing smiles, flattening his tongue and dragging upwards. He teases, alternating between small licks and kisses while you whimper his name. Edging your body with a finger until you’re writhing and then slowly, easing this finger inside you. He moves slowly, leisurely – moving faster, when his lips start to suck.

You gasp, barely articulating – and Yixing splays a hand on your stomach, keeping you still as your body tenses. He feels your body tighten, clenching his finger while he swears against your sex, imagining you clenching around his dick like that. Then you release, orgasm shuddering through you, Yixing’s tongue easing you down. Tracing gentle circles, as your body slowly responds.

When you open your eyes, spent and blissful – Yixing lifts an eyebrow. “Done?” he asks, and you softly shake your head.

“I want you inside me,” you whisper, pushing yourself up on your elbows.

Nodding, Yixing remains serious as he reaches for the table. He finds the condoms he bought you himself – stating bluntly it was stupid, for you not to be protected. Opening one with his teeth, Yixing rolls this quickly onto himself. He watches you watch him, gaze lidded while you stare at the length of his cock. When Yixing bends, opening your legs with his own – you nudge your center gently against him.

Yixing hisses, as you rub your wetness up and down. He moves closer, spreading your folds with his tip – not entering, just rubbing his dick against your clit. You gasp, moaning is his name and Yixing decides not to waste any more time.

He moves slow, pushing his cock into your body. Halfway in he stops, breath tight in his throat because you feel so fucking good. So warm and wet and tight for him and it’s been so long since he cared at all. Yixing’s hands slide to your ass, lifting your hips as he enters you fully.

“Yixing,” you whimper, burying your head in the crook of his neck.

Yixing stays like that for a second, before pulling away. He pushes back into you, feeling you open, feeling you move and hardly able to bear it. Your chest, thighs, body are pressed to his. Legs wrapped around him, while Yixing struggles to hold himself together.

He knows you’re still sensitive, so his fingers slide gently over your clit. Teasing in circles, while his cock moves in and out of you, below. Yixing rolls his hips and when he notices you tense, hears your sudden intake of breath – he pulls out, slamming his cock inside you. His hips cause your breasts to bounce – a perfect, round motion that has Yixing losing his mind.

He doesn’t stop, fucking into you with total abandon. Body reaching for yours, pressing himself to anywhere he can find. Hands twining in your hair, braced taut against the bed, tracing your body, your clit, your peaked, hardened nipple. It’s hard to concentrate, to be aware of anything but his pleasure and need and love for you.

Groaning aloud, your head tips back. Opening your eyes, you’re slightly dazed and starry. “You love me?” you whisper, while he fucks you against the headboard.

Yixing grits his teeth and nods, because what else is there? He loves you, he needs you and he isn’t afraid anymore. Whimpering, your hands wind into his hair as you bring your lips to his ear. “I love you, too,” you whisper and Yixing shudders.

His body tenses as he comes – rubbing your clit quickly, slick with your arousal as you gasp, body tightening when you once more, come undone. You moan, collapsing into him and when you finally look back up – Yixing thinks the sight might be worth any pain he could suffer.

Pulling himself out, Yixing gently cleans you. When he’s done he settles beside you, laying his head down on his pillow and pulling you close. His fingers dance lazily across skin, sliding up and down your torso as you smile, hair spread out on the pillow.

“I’m sorry you waited,” Yixing allows, scanning your face. “I’m sorry, it took me so long to catch up.”

“It’s okay,” you murmur, drawing him closer. “It was worth it. This is worth it.”

[Exordia Academy Master List]

[bighound-littlebird]

The Alarm that Never Sounded: GOT's treatment of the SanSan Romance

Originally posted here: https://asoiaf.westeros.org/index.php?/topic/88073-from-pawn-to-player-rethinking-sansa-xx/&do=findComment&comment=4865409

When adapting female characters from ASOIAF into the TV show "Game of thrones", David Benioff and Dan Weiss aren't unlike Robert Baratheon: if they can't disrobe it, they're bored with it. Their rendition of Melisandre, for example, isn't an intimidating and imposing practitioner of dark and supernatural powers, but rather a seductress who's able to make people obey her only if she rewards them with sex (Stannis, Gendry) or gold (Brotherhood without Banners). One more example would be their rendition of Margaery Tyrell, who was turned from a teenage girl with a perfect facade and somewhat mysterious foundation, into a promiscuous lady willing to do anything – even have sex with both her brother and her husband simultaneously, as she proposes to the latter in Season 2 – in order to achieve her personal political ambitions that are literally limitless.

With that in mind, Sansa Stark never had a chance to be properly adapted in the show created by D&D. Now, the word 'properly' has a rather wide range of possible meanings, and this essay will attempt to examine at least some of them, but, for now, let's say that the most obvious aspect in which TV Sansa was shorthanded is her screen time. In "A Clash of Kings", the book that was the basis for the Season 2 of GoT, Sansa's POV chapters, along with Tyrion's, are the only ones that depict what's happening in King's Landing, the capital of The Seven Kingdoms and the center of political power in the story. This goes for the first two thirds of "A Storm of Swords" as well, e.g. until the moment Sansa escapes from King's Landing. In short, her chapters couldn't help but be of paramount importance in the narrative sense. In the show, however, Sansa's significance is greatly decreased, and not only because the show doesn't follow the "POV structure" of the novels, but because she's reduced to nothing but a prized captive for the Lannisters.

Yes, TV Sansa is a minor, and she's played by a minor, named Sophie Turner. Her age, due to the laws that forbid the usage of underage children in explicit sex scenes, prevented D&D from using Sansa in a way they adore. And her age couldn't be drastically changed without drastic consequences on her overall arc which is, in ACOK at least, built around her first period. That's why, for example, D&D couldn't cast Natalie Dormer – one of their favorite ASOIAF characters, by the way, because they did alter Margaery to suit the actress, instead of the other way around – in the role of Sansa, because Dormer, while certainly looking younger than she is, could never pass as a minor.

And that would probably be the only thing that makes Sansa off-limits for Natalie Dormer, or some other actress D&D adore, to play her in D&D's adaptation. Everything else would've been doable. Had George R. R. Martin not put her first period in the books, Sansa's age, promiscuity, vocabulary, even wardrobe, would've been changed accordingly to suit D&D's vision of a progressive Westerosi woman, which means the first three would've been amplified, while the fourth one – wardrobe – would definitely be reduced and freed from all the unnecessary parts. She'd probably even hook up with some rogue brute at some point; when she'd find the time for him, that is; after she's done with Joff, Tyrion, Lancel, and god knows who else, she'd certainly figure out cynical killers can occupy her bed just as good as other available men can.

Speaking of cynical killers – enter Sandor Clegane. One more character that, alas, couldn't be played by Natalie Dormer, and therefore not of particular interest to D&D. Sandor in the novels is a truly memorable fellow, who slowly but steadily grows in readers' eyes as the story progresses. At the beginning, he's nothing more than a merciless brute used only for killing people Lannisters want dead. Very soon, however, a reader finds out there might be some traces of soul under that rough surface. More and more we find out about Sandor, more and more intriguing and understandable he gets. Even – more likable.

Now, what makes him likable? The stories Littlefinger tells to Sansa?! Of course not. The stories Sandor himself keeps telling to Sansa are what fleshes him to the extent that was probably impossible to predict at the beginning of the series. Through his conversations with Sansa, we find out every important thing there is to know about him. Later on, when he hangs up with Arya, Sandor is already a fully developed character, whom we aren't discovering any more, but rather following. And he became like that precisely through his exchanges with Sansa.

The show went the other way, and a pretty odd way, at that. D&D decided it was better for Littlefinger to deliver the story of how Sandor's face got burned, and that decision carries some very serious consequences in regards to characterization. For example, Littlefinger appears as someone who does know the secrets of King's Landing, but, at the same time, as someone who doesn't hesitate to share those secrets with persons he doesn't have any control over. Yes, he warns Sansa not to tell anyone about the story; but, he warns her because, and here comes the funny part – Sandor is going to kill her.

Now, why isn't Littlefinger afraid Sandor's going to kill him? After all, isn't that the logical question because it's Littlefinger who offers Sandor's secrets to others? It seems there are only two possible answers: 1) Sandor is not that scary and dangerous as Littlefinger claims, or 2) Sandor is a dangerous fellow, but Littlefinger is the bravest individual alive, because he goes around telling the secrets of people that physically can literally eat him for breakfast; and he isn't shy even, because he doesn't fail to warn Sansa how dangerous is the situation he himself dares so boldly.

Whatever conclusion a viewer draws from there, something is going to be radically changed from the source material. Quite possibly, in fact, a lot of things are going to be altered. After the said scene, both Littlefinger and Sandor are drastically different than their book origins. And the characters we ended up with in the show, are not nearly as complex and intriguing as their book counterparts. This is especially true for Sandor, who's nothing if not scary and dangerous. He is supposed to frighten the living hell out of everyone who isn't his older brother. If you take that away from Sandor, you're only left with his tender side.

But, even his tender side was almost entirely removed from the show. This time, not only by Littlefinger, but also by Tyrion: in the throne room, when Joff orders Kingsguards to undress Sansa, Sandor stands there silently. His face expression suggests he isn't pleased with what he sees, but that's it. He doesn't stand up to his king with firm "That's enough" as in the book. It is therefore on Tyrion exclusively to deny Joffrey the pleasure of torturing the girl whose only crime was that she saw him in a moment of unflattering weakness. As in the books, TV Tyrion enters the room with his sellsword and he defends Sansa from Joff, but the important difference is that in the show it looks like Tyrion is the only one both willing to oppose Joffrey and capable of doing it. In the novel, we can sense that Sandor is ready to do the same thing, only, in his case, it comes with a much bigger risk, which is not without importance.

So, in this particular case, Sandor was sacrificed for the sake of TV Tyrion. TV Littlefinger, however, wasn't forgotten in that regard, because, once again, he's fed with lines that originally belong to Sandor. In the finale of the second season, it is Littlefinger who tells Sansa to look around and see how much better than her all those liars are. Just as the last time around, this change serves neither Littlefinger nor Sandor: the former's creepy-mentoring side is exposed much earlier than it would be logical, while the latter is robbed of yet another moment in which he shows how much he cares for Sansa and how protective he is toward her.

Sansa is a case on its own, as far as wrong adaptations are concerned. She's in the league with her mother Catelyn Stark, as two Stark women that were literally butchered in the show. The thing two of them have in common is the nature of their complexity: opposite to other female characters in ASOIAF, like Dany or Arya or Asha or Brienne or Cersei, Cat and Sansa aren't interested in hurting their enemies with their own hands, or, in the case of Dany, with her own dragons (this goes for Cersei, too, even though she's the one ordering the suffering of others, not committing it: her aggression is always personal, as we can sense in the first three novels). And, what's more, Sansa isn't interested in hurting anyone, actually. Cat does have an aggressive side in her; it's female aggression all the way, but aggression it is. Sansa, on the other hand, almost never desires other people to suffer in any way. There's only one noticeable exception: Joffrey. She does think on one or two occasions how nice it would be if Robb put a sword in Joff, and, by extension, she wishes Lannisters are defeated in the war against her family. However, we have to consider the situation she finds herself in at those moments – imprisoned by the Lannisters and at Joff's 'mercy' all the time; small miracle she wishes them ill. I've never been a girl arrested by the grave enemies of my family, but if I was, I'd definitely pray for their most horrible deaths every single night. And, we have to remember that, after Joff's death, she fails to feel happy over it, even though she tries to a little.

Therefore, it maybe isn't a stretch to say Sansa is probably the one character that is most unlike the author himself. Other major characters, especially POV ones, do resemble Martin at least partially. For males, it's obvious: even though GRRM never fought in a war, nor had any military training whatsoever, men are men; even in our day and age, no male is a complete stranger to war; while depicting all those dramatic battles and duels was quite an achievement (which no personal experience would make any easier, truth be told, because in ASOIAF the combat as a phenomenon is illustrated from any number of angles, each among them presented with an abundance of details), ultimately it was in himself where Martin could find a lot of answers about his male characters, whose position in a society is never independent from their combat prowess or lack of it. Female characters, on the other hand, had to be trickier, just like they always are for male authors – let's admit it, they are not that good in creating great females, just like women writers usually don't produce male characters that are a match to their female characters nor to the male heroes created by male authors. In our day and age, these "gender rules" are rarely spoken of, but they continue to exist, due to gender predispositions that are nowhere as strong as in the mind of an individual. There are exceptions, as in good male characters created by women and vice versa, but they are in a clear minority compared to underdeveloped or unrealistic characters whose only "fault" was that they didn't share the sex with an author. And in that regard, ASOIAF could very well be unparalleled: it is perhaps impossible to find any other story that features nearly as many memorable male and female characters both, as ASOIAF does (truth be told, that fact alone should be enough to inspire analysts and scholars to look at ASOIAF at a different, more demanding light, and not as a genre piece).

Martin's girls, however, aren't completely unlike the man who came up with them. Most of them are willingly participating in "men games", e.g. power-plays and/or wars, which makes for a precious connection to a male mindset of the author. They are thinking and behaving as women (or, in the case of Arya, and Dany to an extent, as girls), but all of them are interacting with something that, in all its glory and misery, can roughly be called "a man's world". Some of the most beautifully written chapters in the series are delivered from female POVs – The Red Wedding and Cersei's "Walk of Shame" come to mind right away; but, in a thematic sense, those and other female chapters don't differ too much from male POVs.

Except for Sansa's chapters, which unmistakably belong to something we can roughly call "a woman's world". Chapters of both male and female POVs in ASOIAF are often rich with testosterone, but Sansa’s ones are almost entirely driven by estrogen: look no further than her captivity in King's Landing, that actually is, as already said, focused around her first period – that decision solely should bring a lot of respect for Martin, because he had to know going that road is never easy for a male writer.

And the funniest thing is, it all fits. Sansa's storyline is distinctive in tone, but not odd. It is a legitimate part of the general plot of ASOIAF. In fact, as her story progresses, Sansa becomes more and more important for The Game, even though she showed no clear inclination to participate in it so far, but at the same time, Martin keeps Sansa away from all those "male" aspects he decorated other female characters of his saga.

And on top of everything, we're presented with her love story, a romance with no other than the man who, prior to discovering some delicate feelings for Sansa, could pose for an ideal brute of Westeros. At the beginning of the story, Sandor Clegane could be perceived as the exact opposite of Sansa. As someone who has no business whatsoever in her world, just like she has none in his. But, with some craft wording and master subtlety, Martin succeeds in illustrating the flood of emotions that go both ways in their relationship. Those emotions are never easy, nor appropriate, let alone allowed – even by Sansa and Sandor themselves! – but they're hard to be denied.

The complexity of their multilayered characters, of their respective positions in a society and in an ongoing war, and of their relationship that resists all known clichés, represent some of the strongest evidence that ASOIAF is much more than a genre piece. There's a lot in these novels that escapes genre boundaries, but nothing more evidently than SanSan. Stuff like that is not your usual fantasy element, no matter how flattering fantasy can be as a label (Homer, Shakespeare, Tolkien – to name just a few all-time greats that created unforgettable stories with supernatural aspects in them). Any author who comes up with that kind of love story involving those kind of characters – and with a legion of other characters, and with no less than four different religions, and with themes of honor, redemption, identity, bravery, equality, ancestry, legacy, freedom, revolution... – deserves to be analyzed not as a genre writer.

Now, one can only imagine what kind of enigma Sansa and Sandor were for Benioff and Weiss. And it pretty much remained unsolved, because, when faced with all the complexity of these two characters, Benioff and Weiss decided to remove it almost entirely, along with their relationship that is reduced to occasional and odd mentioning of 'little bird'. TV Sandor was simplified to a one-note brute that goes around TV Westeros and lectures people about the pleasures of killing, a one-note brute he never was in the novels, not even in the beginning of the saga. TV Sansa, on the other hand, was denied her book complexity by shutting down all her layers, one by one. For example, Benioff and Weiss completely removed her decision to go behind her father's back and inform Cersei of his plan. They simply refused to go down that road. They did something similar to Catelyn, whose infamous line to Jon they didn't remove entirely, but did replace it with a much softer one. It is pretty safe to assume that Cat's and Sansa's complexity did bother Benioff and Weiss from the get-go.

What's also removed from the show is Sansa's agency, primarily represented in the novels by her secret meetings with Dontos, a disgraced knight she herself saved from Joffrey. In the show, we got only the saving scene; it was filmed and executed clumsily, but it was there at least. However, until recently, nobody could be sure Sansa did save Dontos, because the man disappeared afterwards (he was briefly seen as joggling balls in "Blackwater" episode, in the scene in Cersei's chambers, but he was unrecognizable for the vast majority of audience). It is reported, though, that Dontos will be returning in Season 4, so yes, Sansa did save his life after all. But, even when he returns, Sansa's attempts at escaping will be two seasons younger than they should've been at that point, and it's hard to see a way D&D can remedy that neglect.

Show-lovers often defend D&D in regards to Sansa, by saying her personality is a difficult and tricky one for portraying on screen, because even in the books she's introverted. Now, maybe she isn't the most extroverted character ever, but she's pretty far from reclusive, as she does communicate with the outside world a lot at the beginning of the series, before she's imprisoned. And even while in captivity, she can't help but communicate with Sandor and Dontos. What's more, around two of them she is her true self, which provides a wide array of possibilities for a good and informative dialogue that, in an adaptation, could compensate for the lack of inner thoughts. With Dontos, she's open not only because she saved him, but also because he explicitly offers his help (and, truth be told, it is he who enabled her to leave King's Landing eventually, so, even though he wasn't exactly honest with her concerning his motivations, her trust wasn't as misplaced as it may seem at first). And with Sandor, she's open for no particular reason – other than those subtle, emotional forces, that both of them can't help but follow and eventually become the closest and most intimate beings to each other.

The way Martin incepted and developed the barely visible, but undeniable romance, between Sansa and Sandor, is nothing short of literary brilliance. With so few words and interactions, he managed so much. The vast majority of readers are aware of restrained attraction they mutually feel, even though they didn't share a single physical aspect of the romantic relationship.

Martin is indeed a master of subtlety, as evidenced by what looks like the endless amount of carefully hidden clues that point to any number of narrative puzzles, realization of which do make an entire story much richer than if taken at face value. And he's never more subtle than with two romances: Rhaegar/Lyanna and Sandor/Sansa. Now, the respective nature of subtlety of those two romances is rather different. With Rhaegar and Lyanna, a reader is – through Robert's retelling – offered a version that is actually the very opposite of what probably happened, and only later a reader can pick up clues here and there, and finally figure out the story of a fatal attraction between the two. But, the clues are presented throughout the text, so much that, even if you don't decipher everything after the first read, at the end of "A Game of Thrones" – the first book of the series – you'll probably sense that Robert's view on events wasn't exactly accurate.

The story of Sansa and Sandor is a very different one. Their relationship is never as much as addressed, even by themselves. Sandor isn't a POV character, and he's not exactly open to people, so his silence on the matter isn't unexpected. But, Martin didn't address their romance even in Sansa's chapters, which are typically packed with inner thoughts of the POV character. It looks like Martin decided to do it the harder way and make their romance somewhat a mystery even for Sansa, which, in hindsight, does seem to be the most logical way: what teenage girl would be fully aware of a romance that "inappropriate", and experienced in those dire circumstances?! As a result of that decision, the readers got a completely fascinating depiction of a romance, that can be described as a train you hear from miles away: at first, you can't even tell is it a train or some similar sound, but slowly, with every second, you're more and more certain that your ears didn't trick you, and very soon the train is so loud that it is the only thing you can hear at all. In the novels, a reader may find something strange at first, when Sandor shares the secret of his burned face with Sansa. Some alarm may be turned on deep inside. And it becomes more apparent each time two of them share a page, with a culmination during the Battle of the Blackwater Bay, when Sandor, after he decides to desert the Lannisters, visits Sansa in her room and offers to take her home to Winterfell.

It might be the only instance in the entire series where Sandor did ask anyone's approval, which does speak volumes about his feelings for Sansa. Considering the manner in which Martin described this romance, Sandor's actions on that day was as good as a confession of his deep attraction to her. Sansa, on the other hand, doesn't have a single moment which could be pointed at as a prime evidence of her undeniable love for The Hound, but this doesn't mean her feelings toward Sandor aren't palpable. It's one more mastery of the writer: through her frequent (and skewed, but in a telling way) memories on the last time she saw Sandor, he was able to show her feelings resonating more and more inside her.

In the show, Martin was denied a chance to do the same thing, even though he wrote the "Blackwater" episode in Season 2. Thanks to the already destroyed storyline, and to god knows how many changes, and to D&D's decision to remove from the final cut some scenes Martin referred to with his scenes, the one between Sansa and Sandor near the end of that episode, served more as a greeting to book-fans who like SanSan in the source material, than as a goodbye between two not unlike souls who shared much, and could have shared a lot more, and maybe are going to if they meet again. In that scene, Rory McCann was visibly better than usual as Sandor, and Sophie Turner was as good as usual, but, just like with anything ASOIAF, the scene doesn't have nearly the same impact and importance if taken out of context.

The exact context of their SanSan is yet to be fully revealed in the books, too. Because of the already mentioned subtlety – a quality that seems to intimidate showrunners Benioff and Weiss, who, in their turn, do retaliate with their on-screen war on subtlety (just recall what they turned other romances into; for example, the romance between TV Jon "Not The Brightest Kid In The Block" Snow and TV "I Know Everything And Therefore I Can't Stop Talking" Ygritte) – Sansa's and Sandor's love story is by no means an open book. Their romance has its own share of mystery, one of which may be: what inspired those two persons to feel so strongly for each other? Personally, I always thought their mutual attraction isn't only based on a "beauty and the beast" model. There is that, but in their case it goes deeper. If that was the engine behind his emotions, Sandor had more than enough opportunities to find a beauty for his beast long before Sansa entered his life. With Sansa, I'd say their mutual attraction is rooted in their personalities. For example, if you take away Sandor's aggression, he also isn't interested in hurting others. He's naturally talented for violence, and he lives in a society that respects that kind of talent, and that is why he's violent for a living, but at the end of the day, the suffering of others isn't any kind of reward for him. Possibly, because he isn't interested in other people that much. Though, when he is interested in someone, the interest is as strong as they come.

(We don't know at this point, but it's not a stretch to imagine that his reaction to the news that his hated brother was killed wasn't unlike Sansa's reaction to Joff's death. "Am I glad he's dead? Well, not exactly, even though I wanted him killed.")

Sansa may very well be like that, too. That would be one of the possible explanations of her AGOT actions. Like the rest of the Starks, Sansa is a complex character that has some issues of her own, without which neither she nor the other Starks would be such memorable characters as they obviously are; it is the fact that they are both willing and strong enough to fight those issues, that Starks stand out for. Without going into details (as if I could!), I expect that in the remaining novels Sansa is going to face the reasons that made her go to Cersei that damned night and with the consequences of that action. And whatever comes out of that soul-searching will be inevitably combined with her claim to Winterfell that Littlefinger brought up in AFFC. And that combination is going to elevate Sansa's arc to even bigger and more important levels than so far, even though so far she was the one Stark that was most engaged – unwittingly, but still – in the bloody dynastic war for the Iron Throne.

And she'll have to cross paths with Sandor Clegane, one way or another. Their relationship was so meticulously built up, it simply has to get some sort of a closure. What that closure is going to be is impossible to predict, because we are talking of one George R. R. Martin, a writer who managed to shock us as he pleased more than a few times.

What is also impossible, is to take anything that did or didn't happen in the show as any indication at what the closer may or may not be. There isn't a storyline in GoT that wasn't drastically changed, and weakened in the process, but Sansa's arc, along with her relationship with Sandor, is among the biggest victims of D&D's inability to adapt.

Whether you happen to like what Benioff and Weiss put in the show, or don't, you'd be advised not to recognize any significance in their decisions for further developments in ASOIAF. Just like show-lovers tend to remind everyone else, GoT and ASOIAF are two entirely separate beasts. And book Sansa and book Sandor, along with everything Martin has in his store for them, can be really glad about it.