#like there’s no way they’re gonna continue making that in all lucid seriousness

[yuttikkele]

there’s no way the new norm is a real thing holy cow…

chaz’s design is genuinely cool as heck tho ngl

[nebulousnajm]

whose child is this? - levihan crackfic

Levi heads to his room to grab a document from his desk, but all thoughts of bureaucracy and paperwork fly out of the window as he finds a baby sitting and blabbering to itself on his bed. The baby looks up at him in the doorway and exclaims “papa!” upon seeing him.

He frowns. Very few of the survey corps have children, and so he’s familiar with how those look like. This brunette child is not one of them, “whose brat are you?” he asks, as if it is capable of answering him.

Did a governor or someone from the inner walls visit? It’s probably someone’s child that wandered off. He sighs, closes the door, and goes to ask the guards stationed at the headquarter doors about any recent visitors. The answer is “no sir, only the supply carts have come today,” he nods in thanks and deliberates on what to do.

On his way back to his room, Levi passes by Hange’s lab. He can hear them sorting through their books, probably looking for some obscure fact to back up a working theory. He knows that Hange is friendly and on talking terms with all of the staff, so they may recognize the tiny intruder.

(continued after the cut)

He knocks –to announce his presence– and enters the room. He finds Hange scanning a book with one hand and jotting down notes every other second with the other, all the while muttering to themselves. For a split second there’s something comforting about the sight; about seeing them be at some level of peace doing something they love. But he pushes the thought away into the forbidden corner in his mind where all similarly sentimental thoughts go.

“Hey four-eyes,”

Hange looks up, “hm? oh hey Levi! i didn’t hear you coming in”

“I’m not surprised. Anyways, did one of the supply staff have a brat recently?”

They look thoughtful, “..no i don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

It’s an expected question; he’s never expressed an interest in the detailed lives of the staff, but given his current predicament, he’s sort of forced to know more.

Levi also realizes that there’s no way to explain the situation in a way that will make sense, but then again, Hange has never needed things to make sense to take them seriously.

“There’s a... baby in my room, and i don’t know whose it is,” he looks away and doesn’t mention that said baby thought he was it’s father.

“What?!”

“I don’t know! Why do you think i’m asking you?”

He must look visibly flustered because Hange laughs and puts down their book, “alright, maybe if i see this mysterious baby i’ll recognize it,” they get up and –presumably– head to his room. He spares a glance at the lab before he follows; it’ll need a dusting soon.

Once he catches up to them, they ask, “what does it look like?”

“Brown hair and grey eyes, you’ll see for yourself,”

“Grey eyes huh? I don’t think I know of anyone who has a grey-eyed baby,”

Levi wearily hopes that Hange unlocks that memory once they see it; this whole situation is starting to take a lot longer than he’d like it to.

They reach his room and find the baby looking around in wonder at its surroundings. It’s quiet. He remembers that this is unusual for babies but doesn’t know what to do with that piece of information.

Hange giggles as they approach the tiny creature on the bed, “who are you, you little cutie?”

The baby raises its arms and says “mama!”

Hange complies with the request and lets it wrap its small arms around their neck and rest it’s head on their shoulder.

“I’m not your mother though,” a small pause as they notice something on the baby, “aww you have a book with you?”

It does? Levi hadn’t seen if it had something in its hands, but going off of the small yellow cardboard square it’s holding, it apparently does. He plucks the item from its hands, and reads the title out loud, “The Bumblebee and The Tulip”. The script on the cover is legible but strange.

Hange smiles, “it’s been ages since i’ve seen a children’s book, I’ve only ever found them in Sina,” they glance back at the baby, “so you’re a rich kid, huh?”

“Doesn’t look like one though. No fancy hair clips or jacket. Not even expensive shoes,”

They hum thoughtfully, “true. What a strange little specimen,” they take a look at the baby’s clothes, “speaking of strange, these clothes are weird too. Simpler yet somehow more complicated than usual,”

Well. This isn’t going great, “I don’t think there’s anything “usual” left in this situation,”

The baby, which has been sitting contentedly in Hange’s arms this entire time, now reaches towards him and says, “papa,”

He narrows his eyes at it, “why does it think we’re it’s parents? And can it only say those two words?”

Hange laughs a little, “I don’t know, but babies can only say so much. Do you know how to hold one?”

The answer must be on his face because they just continue, “you basically have them sit on your arm, and you support their neck or back with a hand as well, here try it,” and they offer the baby to him.

“I think i’ll drop it if I try to carry it,”

“You won’t, this one’s quite light so you’ll be able to handle it,”

Levi shoots them an unimpressed look but hold out his arms anyway. Hange hands the small thing over to him and arranges his arms so that they look like how Hange’s did. He’s still a little worried that he’ll accidentally hurt the child even as it just sits there and stares at him with strangely familiar grey eyes.

Hange tilts their head to the side and smiles, “you look kind of adorable together,”

He glares at them with no real heat, “no we don’t”

“It’s true! You know what? Actually..” but they trail off.

That’s weird. Hange never keeps an observation to themselves, “what is it?”

They look kind of sheepish, “okay, well, it’s ridiculous, but the baby does look a little like both of us,”

“What,”

“I know it’s impossible, but it has your eyes and it’s nose looks like what mine did when i was that age,”

Levi looks back at the baby and a weird feeling blooms in his chest. Hange’s observation explains why the eyes were familiar; he’s seen them everyday in the mirror. He also notes that even the baby’s hair is of a very similar shade to Hange’s, but that doesn’t mean anything; brown hair is very common.

“Right, well. This brat might look like us but that doesn’t mean shit. It’s not our child and we don’t know whose it actually is,”

Hange sighs, “I’m sure we’ll find it’s parents once we ask around, but it is confusing. You said you just found it on your bed?”

“Yeah,”

“No disturbance around it? Any footprints or signs that the window was open or anything?”

“I wasn’t really focusing on that when I found it,” but he does take stock of his room now and notes that nothing seems out of place; as if the child simply manifested into existence.

Just as they’re contemplating on who to ask, they hear voices. But not from the hallway.

The sound of two voices in conversation came from the wall to the left, the one that has no door or window and just connects to more stone. Yet it sounds like someone is coming from there as if through a hallway.

Levi and Hange glance at each other, “Levi do you have a secret corridor attached to your room?”

“No. why would I-“ but he stops short as the voices become clearer.

Because if this entire thing wasn’t weird as fuck already, it’s their voices that are coming closer, and he starts to be able to pick out the conversation:

“Four-eyes i swear to god if our child is in the universe of the cannibal-murder-giants,” that’s his voice. What the fuck. To make matters worse, the baby he’s holding turns towards the voice with excitement.

Someone, no, Hange laughs. That’s their laugh, but Hange is standing right next to him staring wide-eyed at the wall.

“There’s nothing to worry about! the drop range I set for here is limited to only the building where our parallels work at, so Kora should be safe. what I’m really hoping for is to find her alon-“

Two people materialize as they step out of the wall, and freeze upon seeing them.

Two people, may he add, that look and sound exactly like them.

A very thick silence suffocates the air, and it’s only broken when the baby squirms in his hold, reaches out towards the other two and says “mama! papa!”

The other Hange awkwardly waves at the child while the other Levi simply says “shit,”

Other-Hange tries to smile, “uh hi. can we have our child back, please?”

“your child?” the real Hange chokes out.

“Yes, she accidentally wandered here while we weren’t paying attention,” other-Hange replies as if answering a normal inquiry about the weather.

This other-Hange approaches him with their arms out to receive the child and he instinctively steps back. The other-Levi laughs, “we’re not gonna bite,”

His own hold on the baby isn’t going to last while she’s trying to jump into her mother’s arms, so he tentatively hands her and her book over lest he drops both.

He notes that other-Hange wears a wedding ring, and when he glances over to his apparent twin, he’s wearing a matching one too. Great.

“You just caused a huge mess, you know that Kora?” the other-Hange tells the baby with a fond smile.

Kora simply laughs in response.

Levi’s fairly sure that his brain short-circuited, because he asks “who are you?”

“Damn I didn’t think I would be this stupid” other-Levi says.

other-Hange laughs a little, “hey be nice! you weren’t the brightest bulb when you learned of this either,”

“Yeah whatever, we gotta head back anyway before we break this universe,”

“Right. Well, it was interesting meeting you two. Try to convince yourselves that this was some weird fever or lucid dream, things will go smoother that way,”

And with that, both Others turn back to phase through the stone wall they came from. Kora waves at them both as she disappears without a trace, just like how she appeared in the first place.

It might have been minutes or hours that Levi and Hange just stood there gaping at the wall, but eventually he says “what the fuck?”

“I have so many questions. I’m going to be thinking about this for the rest of my life,” Hange says as they sink down to sit on the floor.

Levi joins them and thinks that maybe one of the new recruits snuck something into the tea.

–––––––––––––

thanks for reading! 

this fic can also be found on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31065770

please don’t repost or upload on another site :)

[princeescaluswords]

Sorry, I should have been clearer. I was mainly referring to when Scott talks about how things used to be for him and Stiles prior to him being bitten? Some people seem to think he was longing for the times when it was just him and Stiles, while others take a very critical approach (blaming him for 'calling Stiles a nobody'). I was just wondering how you interpret the things he said?

You need not apologize. You were asking a question in good faith; if we were face to face, I would have been able to tell a lot more by your facial expression, our body language, and your tone. It's one of the limitations of a text-based system of communication.

I appreciated your question, because it enables me to talk about certain things which I like talking about.

I think it's obvious to anyone who actually paid attention to the show that Scott, under a significant amount of stress due to the sacrificial killings, the threat of the Alpha Pack, the mistaken belief in Derek's death, and the possibility that he will become an alpha, that stress magnified by the Darach's wolfsbane-enhanced influence, longs for a time when he didn't have to make life-and-death decisions as a 17-year-old boy. Of course, he’ll continue to do that throughout the show, because he's the heroic protagonist, but this scene is very insightful about what he has to overcome in order to be exactly that.

In my opinion, the show simply needed more scenes like it.

And yet, there is a segment of the fandom that uses Scott's words in a moment of suicidal despair to claim that he was insulting Stiles. It's certainly a critical approach -- critical in the sense of "in the service of an unrelentingly negative agenda with a racist impact" and not in the sense of "analyzing a story to get at its underlying meaning."

When Scott says "We weren't important. We were no one." these people often leave off the we. Scott is stressing their bond as friends and their shared condition of being insignificant kids. And they were. One of the first scenes in the show is when they're going into the school, talking about the events of the night before.

Stiles: Oh, god, that is freakin' awesome. I mean, this is seriously gonna be the best thing that's happened to this town since - Since the birth of Lydia Martin. Hey, Lydia - You look - Like you're gonna ignore me. You're the cause of this, you know.

Scott: Uh-huh.

Stiles: Draggin' me down to your nerd depths. I'm a nerd by association. I've been scarlet-nerded by you.

Stiles was talking directly to Lydia Martin and she just didn't register that he was talking to her. That's about as nobody as you get, and I'm sure it that we're supposed to take away that it sucks for Stiles to be so low on the school's social structure that he's not worthy of a greeting. Just as I'm sure it sucked that Stiles talked to Lydia at the hospital and she wasn't even paying attention. Or the fact that Lydia, girlfriend of the team captain, didn't even know Scott's name.

Remember the surprise on Scott's and Stiles's faces when the Popular Kids sat at their table? The fact is that they were nobodies at school. Scott's comparing what they endured back then to what they were enduring at that moment. It's not an insult, because there's a key change in Scott's next words (which those people with an anti-Scott agenda ignore): "Maybe I should just be no one again."

It's the switch from "we" to "I." If these people were paying attention, Scott is expressing the desire to go back to a time when his eyes weren't turning red. He doesn't even imply that Stiles would be happier the same way. In fact, he doesn't imply anything about Stiles at all.

It's Stiles who says that they're the same, that Scott isn't a nobody and that they're in this together, which brings Scott out of his suicidal state. It's a powerful scene for a reason.

So why do I claim that the particular interpretation is racist by impact? Because it highlights a double standard in the way that members of the fandom look at the show. Scott's statement is taken out of context and used to undermine his relationship with Stiles, condemning him as a bad friend, but they will just as easily take similar statements by Stiles and excuse them as funny or justified.

But you might claim that I do that as well, especially with instances such as the "Some of us are human" speech. I could go in depth about why it's not the same thing, but the point of this post is to outline how their agenda warps their way of seeing the show.

If you listen to people who hold this position, Scott wasn't really suicidal in this scene -- it's just the wolfsbane talking. And yet, even though it's the wolfsbane talking, that out-of-context line is taken as an indication that he's a bad friend. Which is it? Is Scott drugged to the gills, so his suicidal ideation is not worthy of concern or pity? Or is Scott lucid enough to insult Stiles in the middle of a crisis? This contradiction is immaterial to them, because that's not the goal of their agenda.

Their agenda is undermining the relationship between Scott and Stiles in order to portray Stiles as oppressed by his shitty friend. That's why Scott can say something that's a negative fact and it turns into outright condemnation, but Derek can call Stiles a "hyperactive spaz" and it's Eternal Sterek.

[iphoenixrising]

Where have you gone?? Please do one of these for me babe. 1. Continuing with mer Tim. 2. More alpha Tim. 3. Jealous omega Tim when Dick shows another omega too much affection.

ears.

BUT.

On to other things than my terrible obsession.

So, number 2 might be in the works for later on and Number 3 kind of doesn’t appeal to me, so maybe a last little drab from that mer au thing, yeah? I’ll pick it up from here. But you may want to read this one (NSFW) and this one.

NOTE: It can be a little squick with a bit of dub-con in the previous installments, so be warned.

Waking up on Tam’s couch wasn’t really that out of place in his life because he’s crashed here more than once, during research projects in grad school, during late night Uno frenzies, during gallon of Häagen Dazs nights when the blind dates were awful and they lamented how old they were getting.

It was familiar to open his eyes to her quaint coffee table and curtains, her flat-screen off to the side with his old N64 hooked up to one of the channels.

It was familiar to have the soft throw from the back of the couch cocooning him because blanket burritos were seriously the way to go.

The real crux of it all is feeling the shift in his abdomen, something soft, something so real, that he comes awake fast and furious, fumbling to get his arms out of the burrito.

“Shh, shh. S’ okay. Yer okay, baby.”

The voice from behind him, jarring since he’s dazed from a drugged sleep, disoriented because he knows that voice–

“Wh-what?! How–how?!” Is about all he’s got when the full-body jerk made him lose his balance and promptly fall off the couch, flailing hands and a sore ass to boot.

The one with green flecks in his eyes moves around the couch to where he’s trying to get free of the blanket and get the fuck out of here.

“S’ all right, pretty baby, yeah?” There’s a hand out, not reaching for him (yet), and when the former merman takes a small step forward, Tim is scrambling back until he hits the living room wall, one arm protectively around Minnow in his belly.

“Get-get back! How the hell are you even here? Where’s your tail?! Are you seriously telling me you speak English?!”

Jay blinks slowly at him, like he’s translating in his head while those eyes take in every detail of their beautiful mate. After several weeks in Gotham learning about land-walkers and their mate’s culture, he’s been bordering on desperate for this male, their male. When they should have been caring for him, seeing to his every need, massaging him when the young started weighing on him, holding him close and cuddling him, all the things good mates should do for their carrier.

Seeing him being…touched by another, a rival, brought out all the protective instincts in both him and Dickie in the worst way. The fact their mate, their Tim, is shrinking away from him, wide-eyed and terrified, is the only thing stopping him from filling his arms, burying his face, palming the young in that perfect belly like he wants, needs to.

“Wh-where’s Tam? Tell me you didn’t do anything to Tam?!”

Tim’s legs are weak but he braces a hand against the wall and wobbly-legs it for a second before he’s standing.

“Heyheyhey, pretty,” because Jay sees the panic, the gasping breath, their mate’s face white as a sheet, his legs trembling, threatening to spill him back onto the floor, “gotcha calm down, you feel me, honey? Yer safe. Yer Tam is safe, she’s making Dickie more coffee ‘cause he figured out how much he likes it.”

“C-coffee?” Tim breathes out desperately, needing to latch on to something here.

“You know you only get decaf! And you, Fish Face, step it the hell back. Right. Now.”

Tam has no problem shoving the merman back with an impatient hand and has a glorious mug of decaf coffee. It’s in no way a substitute for the real thing, but it still smells similar enough that he’s going to thank all the Gods out there for this.

“We also brought food for you!” The other merman, the one he remembers so vividly speaking in a sing-song language, laughter like tinkling bells echoing in the underwater cove where they kept him, is right over Tam’s shoulder, carrying a tray with some fruit on it and–

raw fish?

He’s sensing a whole lot of nope here, but finds it strange he’s not getting nauseous from the smell alone.

Tam steers him back to the couch, bracing him while she glares at Jay and Dick when the mermen can’t help but reach out to touch, to brace his elbows to help ease him down.

Tam places the warm mug between his cold hands, rubbing his forearms while her glare of doom makes the two pout but agreeably move to the other side of the couch further away, giving him at least the illusion of space. Their eyes never leave him, are soft and fond one second, then intense the next when he absently rubs his little baby bump during Tam’s rendition of the events.

She flails when she describes slamming on the brakes the second her headlights hit the three of them and smirks triumphantly when she describes the look on Ra’s al Ghul’s face when the police took him away in the back of a squad car.

Through it, the two mermen ease slyly closer, moving like water, even without the tails, easy and flowing until they’re sitting on Tam’s coffee table, barely two feet from him, chins in hand, watching him with dreamy expressions.

(The same ones from when they spoke softly, cooing at him before the next round...)

His mug is empty and he feels a little more lucid even if it’s decaf.

Tam holds his free hand supportively when they both can deal with the fairytales sitting across from him–

(when did the coffee table get that close?)

“And, I’ve been talking to your literal baby daddies here. About a lot of things. Like, the importance of consent.”

He has to roll his lips so he doesn’t smile because if he could have been not drugged during that conversation, it would have been incredible to see Tam read these two the riot act.

Still, it’s nice to see the them look contrite.

“We went to our clan,” Dick explains gently, tentatively reaching out to hold one of his hands in both bigger, warmer palms, “and told them…we’d lost you. That we needed to find you as soon as possible.”

“Needed ta be by yer side, Sweets. Take care a’ ya, n’ provide. We ain’t some shitty mates what gonna breed ya up n’ just leave ya. That ain’t our way, you feel me, baby?”

“So…our clan gave us a sprinkle of magic we needed to walk with you on land, be with you like we are meant to be. When we mated you, Tim, we mated you no matter what, even if you needed to come back to the surface.”

Jay’s eyes are warm, “knew it might come down ta followin’ ya up here. S’okay. Knew what we were gettin’ inta.”

Dick nods gently, smiling at him, the same smile Tim remembers from the cove, something fond and sweet right before gentle kisses as the front of a slick, slithering body pressed wetly against Tim’s back, molded to him.

“We took us some time gettin’ ta know how ya land walkers live while’s we were on yer trail,” and Jay gently lays a hand on his knees, a thrill running up his leg, his body remembering those hands, too. “Wanted ta know s’ much about ya as we could.”

“We understand more about your culture now, Tim,” Dick squeezes his hand and grimaces, “and we get why you-you left. We mated you without asking and getting your permission–”

“I had a tail, and I’m–I’m pregnant! Of course I freaked out. Human men can't get pregnant!”

“For our people, we all feel the pull of the mating season. We did not know humans do not go through the same kind of heat. Everything we observed from you indicated you were feeling the mating frenzy, but we were wrong, we were very wrong, and we are sorry.”

“We want ta do whatever ya need ta make it right, Timmy,” Jay squeezes his hand. “Now that we know land walkers don’t carry young like we do, yer gonna need us when it’s time ta birth th’ young.”

“And we…we don’t want to leave you alone. We want to be with you if you will allow it.”

And Tim’s at a loss, looking helplessly from one merman to another, his brain working on how, if, there was any way he could believe in this, if there was any way his insane life could get even more crazy.

“S’been a fucked up night fer ya, baby, so’s ya ain’t gotta answer us now, you feel me? Ya need ta rest n’ eat, need ta be safe.”

And Tim sees how those eyes roll down to his swollen belly, has a moment when his breath catches at it, that soft, gentle look.

“But, we aren’t just going to leave. I promise. Now that we’ve found you, we’re going to protect you and the young. We won’t have to intrude on your life to protect you…if that’s what you decide you want.” The hands holding his squeeze gently, encouragingly. “Now that we understand your culture, we can understand why you might not.”

“But,” and the taller of the two leans forward a little, thumb rubbing soothing circles on Tim’s knee, “we wanna ask ya ta at least hear us out. Think ‘bout just giving us a chance. Let us prove ourselves ta ya, Timmy. Please.”

“Please,” the other merman echoes, also leaning forward, sounding just as desperate, just as needy.

His eyes wide and heart pounding, the little flutters against his belly, Tam holds one hand tight while the merman holds the other. His thoughts are racing, one into another, wondering if this could be real after all, if his solitary life with the ocean could have turned into these legendary creatures choosing him as their…mate?

He’s helplessly torn between running for the hills, somewhere they’ll never find him, somewhere far away from open water, and…and giving them the chance they’re asking for.

No promises or guarantees, maybe just long enough for them to help him through the birth if he’s being realistic, but–but forever?

Tim glances over at Tam’s neutral expression, his conflict in his eyes, in every line of his body. He looks back to the two mermen-turned-human and the absolutely hopeful faces begging him for so many things, so many things he doesn’t know if he can give.

“I…I don’t know,” is as honest as he can be, “I mean…I don’t even know your names, how can you even ask me to trust you?”

“M’ name translates ta Jason, baby. Ya can call me Jay if ya like it.” The taller of the two, the one with green flecks in his blue eyes, gives him a crooked smile that’s unfairly attractive, reminds him of being held against this merman’s bare chest between rounds, of that same smile while a hand cards oh so gently through his hair. The soft, whispered words in the same deep baritone making him shiver and this merman, Jay, holding him closer as a natural reaction.

Tim’s mouth goes a little dry with those soft moments, of fondness and care, of them not trying to hurt him, of them…taking care of him in their own way.

(Pomacanthus paru mate for life, defend their offspring and territories…)

“I’m Richard, but some land-walkers called me Dick instead,” the hands still holding his are rubbing gently, absently at his wrist, instinctively making the stiff muscles in his back ease just a little, so he can slump and take his other hand back from Tam to rub his trembling belly. “And your wonderful friend, Tam, told us you are Tim. Timothy Jackson Drake.”

“Yes…yes I. Well, I mean, I’m a Doctor of Oceanic Studies at the University, so I spent a lot of time close to where you found me. Not-not for much longer because I’ve accepted a research grant, but…I–I,” and he stutters on it, makes himself think of this pragmatically, “I’m going to move. If you’re serious about following, then…then you’ll have to go to California, make sure I don’t get taken by any other semivir marinus, I guess.”

To his credit, Tam actually snorts, and the two–

(Jay and Dick and it’s absolutely insane how giving them names makes it that much more real, how it’s getting clearer, the last four weeks spent with them…)

–perk up.

“You won’t regret this,” Dick says hurriedly, “I promise, you will not, Timmy.” Without letting go of his hand, the merman effortlessly slides off the coffee table, kneels right by Tim’s leg, looking up at him with the most beautiful smile.

(So, so unfair. Too late, Dick, he’s already regretting this.)

Jay follows suit, spreading his knees to accommodate Tim’s feet, pressing very impressively sculpted abs against his legs.

“Gonna prove it ta ya, baby. Gonna be whatever ya need, yeah?” And it’s gentle, slow, Jay giving him plenty of time to bat away the palm easing on top of his, spanning some of his big belly, their fingers overlapping. Jay makes a soft gasp when the tips of his longer fingers touch the subtle shifting of the baby moving.

“We have learned so much about your world, and we will learn more so we can properly take care of you,” Dick croons gently, absently freeing one hand to pull the plate of fruit and fish from the coffee table behind him, hold it so Jay can take a ripe strawberry and bring it up to Tim’s mouth.

He sighs, looking down at those adoring eyes. Tim gives up the ghost–

–and opens his mouth.

**

Epilogue

San Diego is wonderful this time of year.

He’s leading a small research team at Scripps Institute of Oceanography, just a few grad students at Giddings Lab. His next book is set to come out this March and the research article from this study is already hitting Oceanographic next month. The lab life was fine up to hide the very noticeable baby bump. Soon after the birth, he was back out on schooners again, playing at wearing diving gear, gathering more data sets.

It’s exactly the change he needed.

Dick has four shows a day at Sea World San Diego, and Jay loves being a trainer. The two of them put on the best shows the amusement park has ever had; they draw record-breaking crowds and have the time of their lives.

In the evenings, after they eat and have the usual necessary cuddle pile (because those two still stay close to him, dote on him, can’t help but run fingers through his hair, and steal chaste kisses whenever they possibly can get away with it– even five years after they followed him to California), they take Hallie and Zarya down to the secluded Coves below their bungalow to swim. When the magic shells glow for them, give them their tails, the small family swims out in the deep, deep waters, playing tag in the waves, and talking to different species.

Hallie has green flecks in her blue eyes, and Zarya is a cuddle-machine. They’re pre-school playmates love them both, and the shenanigans their little minnows get into is nothing short of hilarious.

Tam is resolutely their favorite auntie, and spoils them with day trips out to have a “spa day” whenever she can nab them away from their fathers.

She always has their back with the girls when the next season starts and all three of them feel the pull to mate.

(This time, he has a plan and very smartly modified birth control…you know, for legendary creatures and shit.)

They live. They love, and if anyone who knew all the secrets would ask Tim Drake whether or not he would take it all back, not go out into Gotham Harbor that fateful day–

The doctor would look at his beautiful girls, his grinning mates, would look at all the pictures on their walls and down their hallway, would shake his head at rumpled beds, and nostalgically touch the remnants of the mermaid-themed crib sets. He would remember holding two wiggling babies in his arms after hours of labor, both his mates by his side coaching him, holding his hands, praying for him to their sea gods. He would remember the blossom in his chest, the pure and adulterated love for these little, helpless babies blinking blind eyes up at him in their first few moments of life.

He would remember Jay and Dick weeping, clutching him in their arms, helping him support their daughters, kissing his hair and his face, thanking him for giving them these beautiful miracles.

He would remember five years of arguments and explanations, of negotiations and understanding, of making a life together.

On land and in the sea.

And would he give all this up to go back to his lonely existence, worshipping at the altar of coffee and science, living his work more than his life?

Nope.

This fairytale? Is worth every moment.

[miyoron]

Miyo’s Anime of Note 2018 Rainbow Edition

2018 was some kind of a year wasn't it? It was long and a pain in the ass but there was some anime out this year I really enjoyed. I'm here to write down a bunch of shows I enjoyed in no particular order. I might put them in the order I watched them in, or I might not. I guess we'll see huh?

Also, I think there's WAY more this year than usual which means I either like things easily, there were a lot of good shows, all of the above or some other reason. Hope I don't get too long winded on you! Also I'm using whatever names I feel like for naming things off, translated, still Japanese...whaaatever~

Pop Team Epic

Pop Team Epic was everything I wanted it to be and more. I've been a fan of Bkub's work since the early days so to see these two shitty girls finally show up on the anime screen week to week was a pleasure and a delight. The decision to make two separate half episodes with different voice actors for Popuko and Pipimi was a wonderful decision that let us experience things like Aoi Yuki as Popuko and Norio Wakamoto as Pipimi. It also shot the wonderful team of ACBU into the spotlight. Their Bobunemimimmi segments were so disgustingly perfect and fit the tone of the show perfectly. It also gave us one of the best moments in anime this year:

Needless to say, I really hope they are doing a season 2 like it's been rumored. I'm on board for SO much more.

Yuru Camp

This was a show I actually watched twice this year and have subsequently watched multiple episodes just on my own. It is one of my favorite things this year and maybe it's just because of how unassuming it is. There's honestly nothing deep to the show. Cute girls dress in warm winter clothing and go camping. However, the way everything is paced with nice warm colors and chill ass music nestles its way into your heart and fills you with a nice cozy feeling. It's like a blanket, the anime. Just wrap yourself up in the wonderful friend times and maybe you'll learn a thing or two about camping and friendship along the way.

Mitsuboshi Colors

Are adults letting you down? Sure, they're not up to the challenge pretty much all the time. But that's why you should just stay out of the way and let Colors come in to save the day! This trio of girls are ready to save their town and to let shitty cops know what's up. Seriously, it's a cute show with a cute group of friends getting into big adventures, even if those adventures are often due to their own misconceptions. It's a good show with kids who act like kids and are always either talking about poop or are sucking at video games. It's a nice show and has some good performances, as well as the best sunglasses of 2018 in my book.

Karakai no Jouzu Takagi-san

A series about a boy and a girl who are totally crushing on each other, even if one likes to keep it deeply hidden and the other would never admit it really. Oh, also she owns him every chance she can get with teasing. It's like a reverse Tonari no Seki-kun if Seki was not in his own world and was actively trying to make Rumi blush or stumble over herself. This premise may sound mean but it's honestly all in good fun and there's something really cute about the pair's friendship with each other. The way the manga apparently goes makes me really want to check it out sometime too.

Oh also there's a great side trio of friends with and I love how dumb of a baby one of them is.

Hinamatsuri

What happens when a yakuza becomes the dad of a psychic girl who crashed in an egg in his apartment and broke all his vases? This series! Hinamatsuri was a show that got me really hard this year at a couple points where I know I had to either fight back tears or take a few minutes to sit their with a quivering lip and watery eyes. It's an incredibly funny show from  the premise alone but when you have the put upon character of Nitta having to take care of the force of nature that is Hina it just escalates it. On top of that though, there's a good heart to it as well. Anzu is a wonderful character and I love her story and her many grandpas. Also Hitomi's story actively hit me hard to where I felt bad for a fictional child to please just be a child for a little while. It was powerful stuff and I loved it.

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online

I hate Sword Art Online. I've only watched the first series with the original and faerie times, but I hated it so much. That being said, hearing that the new one was actually good made me seek it out and...thank God it is. Llenn/Karen is just a much more compelling character than the power fantasy that is Kirito. The story of a woman who does not like herself in the real world, but finds a new home and life in virtual reality is a nice little story. On top of that, ditching the stupid "if you die in the game, you die in real life" really helped the show out in my eyes. This show is not about stop some huge over arcing villainous plot to fuck over the whole world or whatever. GGO is about trying to save someone from hurting themselves and honestly, that's a lot more relatable. A recap episode in this day in age IS silly though for what it's worth.

Let's take a short break shall we? For a little section I'm gonna call, Fuck, You Let me Down Man.

Amanchu Advance

I put Amanchu on my list two years ago of Anime of Note because I really enjoyed the tale of friendship it told. Amanchu Advance continues that story and shows Teko slowly becoming more of her own person thanks to that friendship. She wants to become a stronger person, a better version of herself and it's through her friends she's able to do this. The series is still very good at showing these moments but the last few episodes of the show are bogged down in a weird supernatural plot with a ghost boy that I wish they would have just tossed down the shrine steps. The twist at the end with it was not worth sidetracking the story for three episodes in a 12 episode story and soured my experience as a whole. I've been told the author likes doing these sorts of things and I didn't mind the lucid dreaming episodes, but this bit just did not land for me and it's a big bummer.

Here's Another Side Category Called Old Anime I Watched And Enjoyed. Yes, that's the full title.

G Gundam

I don't know why it took me so long to watch this series, but I am glad I did. Maybe I just needed friends to be there to watch it with, who knows. Either way, I'm thankful I got to join Domon on his journey searching for the man in the photograph and to experience the Undefeated of the East in his most powerful form. G Gundam is a goofy setting with a bunch of weird but fun characters and their even weirder mobile suits. I don't know how much I can really say on it since I'm sure most people have probably checked it out years ago on Toonami. It's still fun and good and it has a Gundam who is a boxer and a football man at the same time. Gundam Fight, Readdddddy....GO!

Back to my normal list, though I have grouped the next couple shows in a block I am calling the "I wish these had a full 24 episodes even though I understand why they didn't but please make more I'd love it, ok thanks" block.

A Place Further Than The Universe

This show had...a lot of moments where I was sitting there and just processing all that was going on. A group of girls become friends and join a civilian expedition to Antarctica, one of whom is going there to basically go where her mother had spoken of years ago and never came back. It's a show that I felt compelled to keep watching even though I knew I should have stopped for the night, telling myself "I can watch one more episode..." . It just gripped me and sank its penguin fangs into me. Shut up, I know what I said. Seriously though, the cast of secondary characters are just as fun as the main ones and I enjoyed every minute of it. It definitely destroyed me in one of the more heavy moments near the end though so keep a box of tissues handy ok?

Wotakoi

Love is hard for otaku. It's in the show's translated title and everything. Let me tell you, I'm very happy seeing so many anime featuring adults in the work place these days. Wotakoi is a show I felt a very personal connection to, especially its humor levels. Not going to lie,  I am a Kabakura through and through when it comes to my anime watching and purchasing habits. It's a cute love story with a couple of characters getting together out of convenience before realizing maybe there's something more than that to it. The interactions are great and it's very relatable if you've ever had a friends' game night or anime watching session. It's a show that just feels like it knows just how to speak to you if you've been a fan of anime for a long time.

Hisone to Masotan

Hey, you into dragon vore? Then have I got the show for you buddy. All joking aside, Hisomaso is a show with one of the more fun protagonists I've run into in a while. Hisone's blunt and to the point to the detriment of anything that comes out of her mouth most of the time, but there's something about her honesty that's very endearing. The show's pilots are a great cast and their dragon friends are just as charismatic even if they spend a lot of the time cosplaying as aircraft. This show has a nice story about trying to find just where you fit in within the world and sometimes that's hard. Sometimes the best thing to do is dive into the gullet of a big scaly F-15 and ride the free skies to your heart's content. I love you Masotan.

Shoujo Kageki Revue Starlight

This show I think more than any others in this block I wanted more of, even though I know why I don't have more of it. From episode one, I got Utena vibes with the music, the auditions, Hell, even the prefight wardrobe transformations. Stage girls do battle with all of their shine to prove who is truly the top star. That's the basic premise and the cast of characters really helps to flesh it out with their own motivations of what makes them keep going to be the very best they can be. I loved all of the imagery in the auditions and the music and the big doofy giraffe just watching from the stands and enjoying the whole thing. Revue Starlight is a stylish show with some amazing animation and choreography that puts most of the things I watched this year to shame and I need more things like it.

STOP IT'S PRECURE TIME

Go Princess Precure

This is me and Cheapsteak's "old Precure" of the year and it's wonderful. It's a story about dreams and fighting for them. The Princess Precures are maybe not the most relatable of characters as they attend a very prim and proper high class school. One is a business conglomerate's daughter, one's a super model, one's a Princess from another plane entirely. But there is something wonderful how they all work together as friends and work to save everyone's dreams, I don't know there's something very good and wonderful about that. I love that even when it comes to one of the villains, a character in the show goes out of her way to help him with his self esteem (and make up). I don't know, I've got a few episodes left but I just love it. Haruka is my favorite Pink Precure I've met so far and she is gonna be tough to beat.

Hugtto Precure

Very similar to Go Princess is Hugtto, with its message of hope for the future because you can't just stay in the present. There's a great cast of characters and they all work so hard to cheer each others' dreams on, all while taking care of a baby and a hamster from the future. I think this show also has the best mid-seasons Cures I've met so far and just...everything with how supportive and good everyone is to each other has me smiling the whole time. Also in the episodes leading up to the anniversary movie this year, we got some of the best big moments I've seen in a show in a while. A lot of the episodes have some amazing animation work as well and just...I like this show a lot especially what it did to show Hana's pre-show back story as well. Pink Cures are really good huh?

Back to business!

Asobi Asobase

Along with PTE, this was one of the weirder comedies that I watched this year. It's often crass or just outright weird, but that's one of its strong points I think. The show's opening is a giant fakeout from what seems like your ordinary "cute girls doing club things" chill show because you're soon hit with some of the weirdest faces and shrieks that I've run into in a while. The characters are a troublesome group of weirdoes who try to do activities like a normal club but fail horribly at it, often due to one or more of them sabotaging it with their own dumbness. It really says something that the sweetest and most relatable characters are the witch girls who practice curses all day. They're really the best though but so are all of the fucking weirdoes in this show. Also there's ass lasers so if you're into that...

Cells at Work

Learn about the human body while dangerous viruses and germs get fucking iced like they walked into the wrong anime. Follow a red blood cell make her way through the blood stream and lose her way every single time. Thrill at the amazingly adorable platelet crew as they get to work each day. Cells at Work is a weird science shounen show with some great character designs and interactions. The way the cells just are working hard and doing their jobs as best they can is great and you want to root for them so hard. Those Killer T and White blood cells and Macrophages just love killing SO much. It's a fun show that teaches you about biology and anatomy in a somewhat rudimentary but enjoyable manner.

Plus I will stress again, the platelet design is beyond cute.

Skullface Book Seller Honda-san

Honda-san is a cute little series you could watch in an afternoon due to its episode count and length, but it's one I could see myself watching multiple times easily. It's a fun window into the window of book store retail and the Japanese publishing industry. The characters have fun designs, mostly normal bodies with some kind of weird mask/helmet on but they're very relatable. Honda-san does his best to help out the customers, even when their requests tear at his very sanity some times. But that's retail huh? It's fun though, go check out this good skeleton!

Bloom Into You

I think this was the show that intrigued me the most this year because I was just hooked on the relationship between Yuu and Touko and seeing how it advanced. Yuu is a girl who wants to be able to fall in love like everyone else her age seems to be able to and when she finally meets a girl who she thinks feels similarly...that darn senpai falls in love with her. It's a very relatable tale even if you haven't been in a lot of relationships. Seeing Yuu realize her own feelings slowly grow towards Touko and the issues that come up because of was something that had me wanting to find out more each week. It also was the show that took me the longest to come to my final thoughts on too due to its ending but ultimately, I'm glad I watched it.

Zombieland Saga

Honestly, I'm glad to start and end this list with certifiable bangers. The concept of zombies becoming idols sounds like it could just go so wrong but it doesn't. It's so good and fun and goofy. The characters are all really fun and goofy but still have depth to them, even zombie brained legend Yamada Tae. I love this show and every character in it and if there were Franchouchou concerts done like a Hatsune Miku tour, I'd go so hard. Zombieland Saga is a good and powerful show and it even has a good ending with a sequel hook. Watch these girls and cheer them on, that is an order.

I normally do a "Shows I'll Watch Next Year" section but I realize I never end up doing it so I'm just going to add one of my current ones I know I'll continue watching.

JoJo's Bizarre Adventure Golden Wind

Come on, you knew this was going to be on here right? I'm curious where this gangster plot line is going and can't wait to continue next year.

So that's my list, I hope you enjoyed it. For a special treat to go into 2019, I leave you with the best moment in anime 2018. Peace!

Ah well I got copyright striked so here’s a mirror

https://streamable.com/87z73

[squirenonny]

How you even get people interested your fics, asking for a friend thanks

Aw, man, isn’t that a question for the ages?

So I’m gonna preface this by saying that there’s no magic quick-fix to attract more readers (however much we all wish there were.) Writing for the big ships or posting a fic featuring a popular trope/AU when it’s popular is going to get you more readers than writing niche fics, but chasing trends isn’t going to make you happy and it might even hurt the quality of your work. When you post and whether there was some big fandom or IRL event that drew attention away from the newly published pages (or flooded them, burying your fic under ten pages of Klance week ficlets or whatever) can also play a big role.

Secondly, and I know you’re probably not going to like hearing this, try not to worry too much about numbers like hits/kudos/bookmarks/reviews. They don’t mean as much as you think, and they aren’t a reflection on your skill as a writer or the value of your story. The best thing to do is to find some other way to measure success–maybe it’s how many words you’ve written, maybe it’s whether you stick to a consistent update schedule. Maybe it’s reaching that scene you’ve been dying to write for forever. But make sure it’s something that’s in your control, because depending on the faceless masses for validation sucks, and you deserve better.

Okay, on to some advice for attracting readers.

1. Rework your summary. Confession time: I hate writing summaries. Hate it. I’m already not good with short form and trying to sum up a story in a hundred words or less is even worse. But it’s one of the most important skills for a writer to learn, since it’s your one shot to get people interested enough to click that link. If you’re stuck, here are some suggestions, with examples of how I’ve used them for my own stories.

Pick a (short!) excerpt from your piece. Maybe a brief exchange of dialogue, maybe the opening line, maybe something else. It should be something that doesn’t require context to understand and that makes people want to find out what happens next (or what led up to this moment.) Example:

This psychic—Lance the Lucid, according to the posters, and Keith wasn’t even going to comment on that—was a charlatan, plain and simple, and Keith kind of wanted to punch him. Sure, Lance knew how to put on a show, but Keith doubted there was anything more to the act than charm and dramatic flair.

Pidge sighed, catching Keith’s eyes. “At this point, they’re pretty much our only hope.”

If you’re writing an AU, especially a canon divergence AU, put the focus on what you’re changing. Example:

Shiro used to dream of Earth. That was before the Arena, before Haggar, before he joined the Galra army. At least he has an ally, a Galra officer named Keith. Together they plan to bring down Zarkon’s empire from the inside.

Matt never thought he’d see his family again. Then he crash-lands on Earth and Pidge rescues him from Garrison custody. But his homecoming is short-lived. Now the Holt siblings, along with Lance and Hunk, must find the Voltron lions and free the universe from Galra control.

Or: Galra!Keith, double agent!Shiro, red paladin!Matt, black paladin!Allura, full series AU.

If you’re writing something tropey, or a twist on a cliche, maybe highlight that. Example:

[following a short description of plot] Canonverse Soulmate AU with romantic and platonic soulmates (and some gray areas in between)

Sometimes the simplest thing to do, especially for shorter stories, is to do a one-two punch in your summary. The set-up and the punchline. The scenario and the twist. The status quo and the catastrophe. Think “Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked.” Or better yet, the next part of that intro–defining the Avatar and then hitting us with “and then he vanished for a hundred years whoops.” Whatever you do, keep it short. Example:

When Keith was seven years old, he spent a year in La Quinta with a boy named Lance, the best friend he ever had. Ten years later, Lance and Keith reunite at the Garrison–only Keith doesn’t remember who Lance is.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that shorter is (usually) better, but you want to include enough to hook readers’ attention. It’s hard, I know, but keep working at it and it’ll get easier. Seriously–write five completely different summaries for your fic, all under 100 words. Give yourself a 5 or 10 minute limit for each so you don’t agonize too much. Set them aside for a while, then come back and see what works. Or write a list of all the things you’re most excited about in a given piece, cut out any major spoilers, and try to work one or two of the others into your summary.

2. Be strategic about your tags. If you’re posting on AO3, use tags people are going to search. Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, any tropes that feature prominently, any relationships (especially gen ones) that are a major focus. Be wary of overtagging–Shatt shippers, for example, know all too well how common it is to search for Shatt and turn up only Klance fics with a passing mention of Shiro and Matt going on a date. But plenty of people search for specific tags in trying to find new stories. Use that.

Similarly, if you post on Tumblr, use your tags efficiently. The first five tags on a post are the ones that the post will show up in (i.e. if you have a tag tracker or go to tumblr.com/tagged/____) Tumblr’s search looks at the first twenty tags, I believe. So use your first five tags for either the most popular or the most niche aspects of your fic. (i.e. tagging it “klance” will have a larger potential audience, though it’ll get buried pretty quickly; tagging “matt holt” or “shatt” gives you a much smaller potential audience, but one that’s more starved for content so will probably click your link at a higher rate.) Prioritize, and leave your organization tags/tag commentary for after.

3. Your first chapter should pack a punch. This one may be a little harder to put into practice if you have an existing fic you’re trying to drum up interest in, but it’s worth keeping in mind. If your summary and tags get people through the door, your first chapter (in a multichapter fic)/your first few paragraphs (for any fic) is where people decide whether or not this is worth reading. Goals to strive for:

Your first line, or at most your first paragraph, should hook reader’s interest. It should ask an implicit question–what’s happening? How did we get here?

(the equivalent of) Your first page (a couple hundred words, tops) should establish the situation and forward momentum. Diving straight into action with no context can be confusing, but lingering too long on exposition can make people tune out before they get to the good part. I’ve heard it said that the first 250 words should establish three things: character, context, and motive. Who are we focused on, what’s happening right now, and why does it matter? There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but make sure you know why you’re deviating if you decide to do so.

Your first chapter (assuming you have more than one) should leave people wanting more. Don’t leave them in the middle of the set-up, or they may not be motivated to continue. But don’t give them everything they need to see where this is going, or they won’t bother waiting to find out.

**Update: There’s now a follow-up post talking a little bit more about how to start a story, with examples!**

4. Persistence is key. Out of all the advice I can give you, this one’s going to be the hardest to follow, I’m sure. It can feel like you’re throwing words at a void and getting nothing back. Sometimes you have a real slow start. Sometimes you’re writing self-induldgent rarepare stuff, and it seems like you and two other people are the only ones who ship it–and those other two never comment.

The thing is, writing fic (especially as a newcomer or writing niche fic) is like playing Marco Polo at a death metal concert. Not only are you shouting into a sea of noise, but you’re also trying to find the relative handful of people who are going to answer. But here’s the thing: if you yell “Marco” once and get no response, then go home, you’ll never find those other people. If you keep yelling–maybe stay in one spot and yell over and over, maybe wander around calling out every so often–you’ll find someone, and then you’ll find someone else, and then maybe someone else will start shouting with you and find three more people. It starts slow, but it builds momentum.

In terms of fic, though, what does that mean? It means keep writing. Maybe keep hammering away at this one fic–excellent if it’s something you’re excited about, something you need to write no matter what. You keep putting it out there and you’ll start to beat back the wave of random chance that conspires to bury your fic because of weird posting times or an onslaught from a fandom event.

Maybe write a bunch of shorter fics, participate in bangs and exchanges and other events. You might hook readers with your Klance soulmate AU that you did for a secret santa, then tempt them into trying your other stuff (true story.) You might make friends by chatting in a big bang’s discord, and they can help you write more attention-grabbing summaries, or can signal boost on Tumblr. (Or just be that one person who stans your writing and keeps you motivated through low hit counts on AO3.) Or you might just hit a whole bunch of people’s rarepair/nich buttons and start building a following that way.

Or maybe it means going a little more off the rails. Try a different fandom. Write original fiction. Write an 80k Marauders-at-Hogwarts fic for yourself, edit it, and only then start posting a chapter a week so you can grow your reader base without the low number of comments chipping away at your motivation because joke’s on you, hit counter. I already have the next chapter done. And the one after that, and all of them, so they’re still coming even if no one’s reading. ha-ha! (Also a true story.)

Look, the point is, building a reader base is hard, and it’s frustrating, and a lot if it is based on luck and fandom trends, and you’re always going to want to get caught up in the numbers. Even once you have readers, you might get frustrated because the tropey shipfic with a shoddy plot that you BS’d your way through has ten times as much love as the lovingly crafted, well-plotted AU that you’ve poured literally thousands of hours into. Because writers are all starved for feedback, and with the exception of people lucky enough (or unlucky enough) to hit a fandom sweet spot and get shot straight into the realms of That One Fic Everyone Knows About–with the exception of those freak accidents of fate, the people who have sizable followings are almost always people who just plain love to write and do it regardless of what anyone else says or does.

So don’t write for the readers. Write for yourself first, and love what you write. Write stories that need to be told. Stories you can’t bear not to tell–because when you care that much about a story, it shows, and when the right people find your story, they’re going to love that you love it. Trust me. The right people are out there. You just have to keep shouting until you find them.

[chogisad]

Turn Me On | Minseok One Shot (18+)

Summary: Minseok is your best friend. And he’s too good at letting you get your way.

It really wasn’t supposed to turn into anything.

The night is quiet, your apartment tranquil with only the soft hum of the movie playing in the living room to indicate that there is anyone present. You alternate between watching Harry Potter be an angsty teen, and listening to Minseok’s heart beat. Its supposed to be a night like any other but your curiosity gets the better of you the longer you hear Sehun’s words echoing inside your head.

“What turns you on, Minseok?” You finally ask, turning your head only slightly to look up at him.

Minseok chokes a little and pulls away from where you’re cradled into his side, suddenly alarmed.

“W–what?” His voice is an octave higher than normal and you try your best to keep a straight face.

“I’m just wondering,” you shrug, nonchalant.

“Sehun said most guys really get off on praise and stuff but I was thinking that isn’t really your thing so–”

“W–why were you thinking of m-”

“Because you’re my best friend. I always think of you.”

Minseok refrains from pinching himself to confirm that yes, this is in fact happening. His eyes are wide and he can feel a tiny bead of sweat already forming on his forehead. He doesn’t know why he isn’t used to these outbursts yet, to you treating him like a personal encyclopedia on all things male.

“Minseok, can you get cum off a black hoodie with just water?”

“Minseok, Sehun says sometimes your dicks just move on their own? Is that true?”

“Minseok, does it hurt if girls use teeth when they’re giving you a blowjob?”

He shakes his head at the absurdity of your friendship. He stopped reminding you google was free a long time ago.

“I–um–” Minseok clears his throat. He runs a shaky hand through his dark hair and looks at the wall behind you, because your eyes are too expectant, too open, too fucking challenging to meet.

“Umm– I really like lip biting?” He says it like a question. The room feels uncomfortably warm and he tries to gather his thoughts. He tries to ignore the way you nod your head and furrow your eyebrows, taking all of this way too seriously.

“When girls straddle my lap that’s really h-hot…” His words trail off as he watches you subconsciously bring your bottom lip between your teeth, just like he’d watched you do so many times before, but now, he has to readjust his position on the couch.

“I–I– dirty talk is cool too.” He offers lamely, needing something to fill the silence. He can feel his heart against his ribs, pounding, thundering, and he considers making an excuse to go home.

“Can I try it?”

Minseok is sure this is all a lucid dream. He’s frozen in his seat, blinking, unable to fathom your offer before he’s nodding his head. He watches, unbelieving, as you climb on top of him, straddling his lap, and push your hair off to one side.

“I’m gonna kiss you,” you whisper and Minseok is already breathless, already entranced and living on another plane of existence because this isn’t really happening.

He closes his eyes and waits to wake up. Except, all of his nerves are electrified when your lips graze his and he can’t help but gasp, because you taste like hot chocolate and holy shit, everything he’s ever wanted. You giggle into the kiss and lick into his mouth. You savor the way his wet lips move and dance against yours.

Its unavoidable, the way things transgress, the way the air fills with the sounds of pleasure. You let your weight come down on him fully and he can’t help it. His hands find purchase on your waist and you feel the way his grip tightens on your hips as you adjust yourself on him, only slightly. You can sense his caution; the strain of his muscles and self-control as he forces himself not to search for more friction.

You’re not as careful, not as thoughtful to the consequences. You bite his bottom lip as you move against his growing bulge and he groans. Its deep, and loud, and his fingernails dig into the soft flesh above the waistband of your shorts.

“We–we shouldn’t be doing this,” Minseok whimpers, his voice tight.

“Why not?”

“Y-you’re my best friend.” He almost whines, trying to hold you still.

“It’ll be okay,” You murmur, tangling your fingers in his hair. You pull him in and kiss him, hard, and his resolve holds for an impressive second before he presses you down onto his lap.

You grind against him. His hands find their way under your shirt and his palms press into the bare skin on your back, trying to lessen the miniscule amount of space between your two bodies. You pull your shirt over your head and Minseok tugs you back onto him. He licks a stripe up your neck before he’s biting the skin near your chin, sucking and marking, all previous hesitation completely out of mind.

He does away with his shirt and you kiss his jawline, his neck, his bare chest. You crawl down so you’re kneeling between his legs and go for his belt buckle.

“Y-you don’t have to,” He says, hands already making to stop you.

“I know,” you respond with a smile, as your fingers unbutton his jeans and bring them to the ground.

His cock is half hard against his stomach. Despite the adrenaline and vigor pumping through your system, you can’t help but blush at seeing him like this, naked and yearning to feel you on him. You take his length in your hands, pumping it slowly, and watch as he bites his bottom lip. He’s gleaming, a thin sheet of sweat already forming on his skin, and you look up at him through your eyelashes as you kiss his tip.

He inhales sharply through his nose and leans his head back on the couch as you put him in your mouth. You observe him as you suck him off, the way his pretty long fingers grip the couch cushion, the way his Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows thickly. You hum against his length and he bucks up into your mouth. His cock presses against the back of your throat and you gag.

“Oh- god– I’m sorry,” He says, and he tries to pull you back onto the couch. You shake your head and smirk as you pull your hair into a messy bun. With new enthusiasm, you lick from the base to his tip and then take all of him in one go. He tries to form a sentence but instead lets out a jumbled string of curses and he can’t help himself. His fingers fist your hair and he moves your head up and down on his cock.

“J-just like that. God– you’re so beautiful.” He hisses, as you continue to suck him off. He gets close to his release but instead of thrusting harder, he drags you to stand so he can pull your shorts away. You nestle back on his lap. His cock is stiff and warm against your panties, as he unclasps your bra strap. His hands are everywhere, running up your sides and they envelop your breasts. In a heartbeat, he’s kissing and sucking, kneading the sensitive skin. He brings one of your nipples to his mouth and swirls his tongue around it. Your body is electrified, buzzing with anticipation, and his hands go to grab at your ass.

“Want to ride me?” He whispers against your lips and your nod is weak but sure. You take your panties off as he gets a condom around himself. You brace yourself against his chest as he positions his cock at your entrance.

“Minseok–” you moan into his neck as his tip grazes your clit, and carefully, he eases your hips down to meet him.

“Fuck–” His voice is a choked whisper and your fingers clasp around the silver pendant of his necklace. He’s so big and your walls try to adjust, every cell in your body burning, brimming. You take all of him, feel his thighs touch yours before he’s guiding your hips back up.

He hugs you into his body, careful,  his forehead pressing against your breasts.

“Go slow,” You gasp and he nods, his hair tickling your chest.

His grip on your hips is almost painful and through a shuddering breath, he brings you back down on himself. You can feel your body accommodating him, stretching for him, and you brace yourself against his shoulders.

He gets the hint and leans back on the couch. You kiss him, deep and wet, as you find a rhythm against him. Its tentative at first, the drag of your body against his, before you’re riding him. The living room echoes with the slap of skin and you fist his hair as you bounce on him. You’re taking deep, open mouthed breaths as the tightness in your lower abdomen flares.

You start grinding on him, going forward and backward rather than up and down, and his hands come back to your hips. The friction is intoxicating, makes your vision pulse white around the edges.

“Fuck– Minseok,” You moan and he kisses you again, desperate, swallowing the gasp you let out when he stars thrusting up into you. He brings one hand up and pinches your nipple, he revels in the way you throw your head back.

He wraps both of his arms around your waist and picks you up. Your back hits the couch and suddenly, he engulfs everything. You’re in his shadow as he thrusts into you and you get to watch the way his entire body tenses, the way his silver pendant swings against his chest with each movement.

“You’re such a good girl,” He leans in and whispers against your ear, hot and dirty. His weight is on you, pressing you into the couch, somehow changing the angle so each thrust is deeper than the last.

“I want to cum on our cock, Minseok,” you almost whine and he squeezes one of your breasts.

“Y-you’re so fucking beautiful,” He groans before kissing you again, needy, fervent, like you’d both been waiting so long to do this.

He moves away only to flip you over. You brace yourself on all fours and he kisses down your back, softly, before he’s easing his dick back into you.

Every push brings your closer to the edge. His hands are possessive, commanding, as he jerks you back to meet his thrusts. You’re sure you’ll find the imprints of his fingers later, but nothing else matters. The world is pulsing, vibrating, as your walls tighten, as your existence hurdles toward an abyss.

He feels it and flips you over again. Just like before, you’re immersed in his shadow.

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby girl?” He challenges, and you close your eyes when his fingers rub at your clit. A few more thrusts and it happens.

His tongue is in your mouth as everything explodes and all you hear is white noise. He swallows your moans as every muscle in your body tightens for him and when you choke out his name, he cums too. He rides out his orgasm with a burst of quick thrusts and he tries to hide the string of curse words against the skin on your neck.

He pulls out with a shaky breath and stands.

He’s beautiful. He’s firm form and sharp angles. Strands of sweaty hair stick to his forehead and he smiles at you with pure adoration before he walks away, his ass so prettily defined.

He knows your apartment well enough that in a few minutes, he comes back with two towels and your favorite oversized tshirt, that just so happened to belong to him once upon a time. He pulls his boxers back on, and with a gentle touch, wipes at the sweat on your forehead.

You’re both quiet, waiting for the other to break the silence as he helps you into the shirt. You make room for him on the couch and he lays beside you, letting you use his arm as a pillow. Your heart beats uncomfortably in your chest during all of this. Fear finally races ahead of the bravado that overtook you earlier. You’re waiting for the moment when he’ll push you away.

“Are we still best friends?” He whispers into your hair.

Your laugh is heavy with relief and you nestle closer to him.

“Yes, now take a nap. Apparently being rough also gets you off.”

He sits up and you frown as you lose the progress on a soon to be comfortable position.

“I didn’t hurt you– did I?” He asks, eyes wide, a little blush already creeping onto his cheeks. In that moment, you realize you could get used to this, to this pretty boy with a strong grip who wants to keep you safe.

“I’m okay. I promise.” You reassure him and he’s quiet for a second before he nods and lays back down, letting you curl into his side. The seconds tick and sleep beckons to you, lulling you away from the noise of a movie long forgotten.

“What turns you on?” He murmurs, curious, and your reply is a sleepy whisper.

“You do.”

© Chogisad

Masterlist

[robertsbutt]

loooooooooove love love these panel shots

you might think im abt to impose another stupid “lOOK HOW SIMILAR” statement but im doing this to illustrate just how different (surprise!) the protags of knb and rxl are today

to first brief over robo’s personality

stupidly honest, annoyingly methodical, straight-laced, can never take a hint, always unimpressed and expressionless: that’s how robo was introduced to us and that’s how he acts in reality, but alr the danger of falling under a subconscious impression is present not even 5 pages past the pilot chap

i could tackle each of his traits as more examples turn up in the future (as long as robo continues acting like himself these examples will turn up - eventually - whether we like it or not) but i’ll just take “can never take a hint” at random: it’s not bc he’s incapable of processing the atmosphere that he ends up never taking a hint. these traits are the result of his actions rather than a cause so as such, you could even apply a clear logic on the process that leads to him being “stupidly honest” or “always unimpressed” and/or some of his other traits that are, i think tragically, the only things to appear in public view in the end

he “can never take a hint” because -> robo isn’t somebody who wld conform to social norms. you can flip the order if you find this confusing: there are ppl who cld be desperate to conform to social norms but genuinely lack the ability to pick up on cues and hints while in the case of robo, he’s adequately aware of these stuff like your average person

what isn’t average is his mindset and not his instinctual reception. we’ve seen it many times in fact in just the course of 8 chaps? reviewing their situation word by word when tomoya dragged him along to test his new club might (sadly to a superficial glance) have made robo appear stunted when he simply happens to be the owner of a very lucid and invigorative mind? bc “methodical” happens to be the way he works as a person - which is why he voices it out and works the problem as a series of steps, but when you see him saying stuff like these

i dont get how anybody can continue to think he’s unable to get social cues. he continues to break them due to a raw ferocity in his unrelenting attitude and not bc he doesn’t truly understand what it signifies. or do you assume robo’s thinking something as idiotically basic as “i’ll just apologize first?”

well that’s the thing, given his traits it’s ridiculously easy to join it up like that saying robo’s “a weird kid” or “means no harm” when that cldn’t be further frm who he is: he’s one grounded and incredibly logical kid who isn’t as removed frm social cues as his enigma might have you think. give him 2 lifetimes and he’ll still never be somebody who “accidentally caused harm,” robo is no scatterbrain

that doesn’t mean he’s causing harm on purpose, or causing harm period. he’s too busy burning himself with his own ferocity which, coincidentally, is one of the furthest points that sets him apart frm kuroko

so ye let’s get this essay on the road

in both stories and at least of what i’ve seen in rxl so far, it’s a fact that the protags are occupied with a single, major task - but robo and kuroko are occupied with vastly diff tasks

kuroko has never been abt self-upgrade. kuroko is not a person whose story wld ever be concerned with re-evaluations, painful metamorphoses or discoveries of “who am i” - knb was a huge, huge story delivered just for kuroko’s ideals. and get this, he doesn’t own the ideals. the ideals own him.

that’s how he is as a person and that’s completely ok but it’s thanks to this - the layout of the story or otherwise - that funnily i don’t think the narratives were blatant and introductory enough with kuroko’s character as a person (for ppl to pick up frm the get go)

up till this day i hesitate to call him “kind” bc these are his concepts and ideals you’re seeing. it’s not “kindness” as a force in itself and, while im mostly neutral and even like kuroko (not slandering him just so you know), i’ll never hesitate to serve the reminder that “yes he did use kagami knowingly” or that he often, literally, is unable to see or think anything else if his ideals have been impeached. it’s not egocentric either (fujimakki’s characs are forever complex and i love it sfm) kuroko is whole-hearted and void of his own person when it comes to these ideals. or you cld say his person is those ideals.

so when ppl end up calling him “crazy/amazingly devoted” or “goes to insurmountable lengths for his friends” im like “...that’s not wrong” but it’s probably not the intended meaning most ppl have either. like i said fujimakki’s characs are complex and you often, if not always, can never take what you see for their surface value. nothing is as simple as that in sensei’s stories.

none of their personalities have been touched out in the open in knb believe it or not. it’s there when you wanna think abt who each of them are as a person but with the basketball plot gliding us over, who’s got time or the immediate interest for that ey? the intensity of the matches are fucking electrifying, you’ve got focused and determined players to watch and all is good -- but matches are just one part of the players who only assume their form as players when they step on the court

a human being is really complex and made of many infinitely smaller layers

and kuroko? i’ll break it down for you

he’s got a temper

a joker

appreciates idyllic times

mischievous (yes)

tAUNTS PPL

idk abt kind but he is indeed warm

contented to live a simple life

now here’s an impt one: he’s full of energy

it’s his body that can’t keep up, not him

and energy doesn’t mean you have to exert it like hayama

i think you can see he’s having fun: he runs and trains on the court with the mindset that he’s a very regular guy with a very regular stamina despite his (lack of) strength which is why he pukes and hacks and faints so often

and he just lets it come like some fucking joker

idk he’s just so full of energy this little fucker

it’s like this: he doesn’t actively go against the fact that his body is feeble and flimsy

but he’s so idgaf and comfortably spirited that he probably thinks it’s funny when his body does stop listening (which is every time)

and since he’s well-aware his condition is like that anyway he’s just gonna train like a regular person and listen to his body when it comes (read: collapses)

which is why he can puke, and puke so blatantly well

he’s not resisting anything be it the exhaustion that saps his body of what remaining strength it has, or the tired condition of his body

he embraces it all amazingly well imo, while it’s unfortunate for ppl like momoi who wld worry for him

but i also think this is another great attitude just as is kasamatsu-senpai’s methodology (taking impressive, measured care)

since measured care isn’t for everybody tbfh, likewise with kuroko’s method: tailoring each to their own is still the fucking best

i think enough on kuroko i like robo more than him i shld be moving on

roboooooooo homeboyyyyyyy um but, well, ok, first of all

he’s serious

like... god honest he’s a serious kid. ppl say these protags are similar in their dead fish eyes and general taciturn attitude but kuroko is the way he is bc he likes the idea of relaxed and you wont ever catch him being uptight or having exaggerated responses to things the way kagami or hyuuga or aomine do (tho expressive responses is actually the norm for ppl lol)

it’s kuroko’s way of life, having a more relaxed attitude than most, why else wld he find kagami’s responses entertaining if he didn’t understand what made it funny? (dont go there you know this fucker is having fun at kagamin’s expense)

while in robo’s case it’s hardly “relaxed anything” and he genuinely wldn’t find what tickles kuroko’s bone to be funny. he’s a serious kid omg and im even glad we’re having a serious protag (for no reason other than me being a sucker for them). robo’s taciturn attitude is a direct result of his seriousness

ok, example

@ the size of kagamin’s apmt he says it with a straight face and actually means it

none of that “im secretly being a joker” (which makes him god tier imo) bc rmb what i said abt this idiot having a temper

lesser characs in other series, when given a line like kuroko’s, are kind-hearted, mean absolutely no harm with their words and are playing around with whoever they says this to but kuroko, along with his “im gonna get angry” when kagamin didn’t exactly startle him shows that he has a actual personality that is as complex as any other human (not what i wanted to point out but since im on it)

some might say it’s just kuroko not being as kind-hearted as others but i appreciate that he’s complex and not all “friends and friends we have a good time and we hold hands” despite what ppl might say of seirin

but yes that’s not the point i wanted to talk abt the humor

tho he’s not being a joker in this scene like he is when he chases kagamin with nigou that’s an very obvious sense of humor in his statement (no matter how wry)

but

and

the 2nd example cldn’t be more obvious? in knb kagamin doesn’t even do anything to incite kuroko’s biting remarks (is it his fault that his apmt is huge? really? the guy wasn’t even flaunting but kuroko tsukkomis due to his sense of humor anyway. does he really feel that mad that kagamin’s got such a spacious living space or that kagamin is living so comfortably bc he can be seriously evil towards the guy even if it fuels my kgkr needs horribly)

(no, for the record it’s not your everyday “i tease you bc i like you,” kuroko means it. he motherfucking means it bc why else wld i had felt slightly uncomfy for reasons i cldn’t explain when i witnessed the way he tortures kagamin)

while in rxl

tomoya cldn’t incite anything better in his entire presence but i feel like robo, rather politely, closes it down like a sane person every time. bc he doesn’t feel any malicious intent towards tomoya and they’re actually getting along as friends despite what you may see as a simple comedy scene bc it’s how they operate/spend time tgt/get to know and understand with their differences

i feel like this single “tomoya, i told you to stop it” with the severely exaggerated way tomo is acting is...... the very essence of robo on display for the audience. robo is serious as in his innate attitude and responses to things, not that austere is the manner in which he conducts his life

proof: he went to fucking karaoke instead of declining? break down of robo cuz im getting tired

all the above traits abt him frm pilot chap

currently searching abt sth with himself

ok with most events (he ends up getting dragged by tomo even if he hasn’t fully comprehended why he has to be there, or is it “before he has”)

the stuff he brings up or replies in a convo are like your average person

^ hello, important????? a very normal and average person

esp this “wait, i can’t exactly say i’ve decided to join”

on other more vibrant characs they’d be like “who said anything lilke that?!” or “eh...? that’s not what i said...” but robo’s reaction is the perfect picture of normalcy bc it’s impt to point out the ambiguous decision left in joining in a situation like that tbh

maybe one of his traits has to be changed to “extremely methodical”

brash and excessively bold when something illogical happens, not like a switch but a necessity to prevent further ill logic frm spreading

logic is obviously a significant matter to robo

standard kindness

[muffindragon227]

I’ll Keep Your Secrets Safe - Ch. 17

AN: All I can say is I have some of the best readers ever. Seriously so many of you reached out and just sent me some love and I can't thank you enough. So as a way of saying thanks, I'm currently just finishing up chapter 19 and the next chapter the Christmas party kicks off, so I wanted to ask you all if there's any character cameos you'd like to see, or maybe something funny/fluffy you'd like to see happen. I can't promise all of them will make their way into the next chapter but I've got New Years Eve to write as well so let me know. Characters, Christmas tropes, small ships. I'll see what I can cook up. ;) This chapter is dedicated to Nap Team Captain on ff.net.

                              Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better

"Silver, what are you doing?" Ur hissed.

The sounds of shuffling feet followed, and Juvia frowned and nuzzled deeper into the warmth beneath her, pulling the blanket up to block out some of the light. She was exhausted and not nearly ready to wake up.

She recognized the distinct click of a phone camera coming from the direction Ur's voice had. Somewhere to the left.

"Don't take pictures of them." Ur continued to reprimand him in a harsh whisper.

"But They look so cute, when am I ever gonna get a chance to catch Gray like this again?" Silver cooed, his own voice kept low as well.

Juvia wanted to turn around, to move away from the noise, but she was tightly sandwiched in her place. One eye flickered open and she took in Silver and Ur standing in the doorway whispering to one another, and then she looked down and became aware of the bare chest her head was resting on. Heat rushed to her cheeks as she pieced together exactly where she was.

She slammed her eyes shut again and tried to even her breathing in an effort not to bring attention back to herself.

"Well you got your picture, now we should wake them up before Lyon gets up and sees this." Ur said.

"Oh come on, let them sleep," Silver replied.

"Are you crazy?"

Juvia's heart hammered at Ur's words. Ur was right, Lyon would flip out. How late was it?

How much time did she have?

"Ur it's barely seven, Lyon's gonna be asleep for at least another few hours, and Juvia's got to be exhausted. She probably didn't sleep well last night and that's why she ended up back down here." Silver rationalized.

Juvia let out a long breath, feeling herself relax.

"Down here, on a couch, with Gray. They could have slept on separate couches. Why are they cuddled up together like that?" Ur demanded, her voice raising a little.

Gray stirred slightly beneath Juvia, and his arms tightened about her waist. He didn't move though, and his heartbeat and breathing were still deep and steady. Juvia envied him a bit for his ability to sleep through this.

"I think you're overreacting a bit," silver said. "They're both clothed and Netflix is still running on the TV. They just fell asleep watching movies. Nothing sinister is going on"

Ur sighed. "I guess, it just feels weird that she's here with Gray and not Lyon."

"Yeah, well, Lyon isn't exactly easy to wake up, and I highly doubt she came looking for gray, he was probably just here when she came down."

There was a pause in their conversation and some shuffling but Juvia kept her eyes closed, not wanting them to know she'd been listening.

"Look, we'll let them sleep till nine. I'm pretty sure Juvia will be up by then and if they're not then we'll wake them."

"Okay, I suppose you're right this time." Ur conceded

"Can I get that in writing?"

"Don't push your luck," Ur chuckled.

"C'mon. I'll make you coffee." Silver said

Their feet padded away, growing distant along with their voices.

Juvia forced her eye open and confirmed they were no longer present. She tried to will herself to sit up, or even open her other eye, but she was warm and comfortable. The pillow she'd been using had disappeared, and her neck was a little crooked but the steady sound of Gray's heartbeat acted as a lullaby.

Her eyes dropped and she struggled to reopen them. She ought to get up. She knew it would be in her best interest, but she didn't want to move, and the knowledge that silver would wake should she sleep too late made it all the more enticing.

Just one more hour, she hadn't slept well for most of the week and it was catching up with her. Another hour, just to help keep her lucid.

She shifted and snuggled deeper, moving her head to a slight more comfortable place.

Gray hummed and his arms tightened again as she shifted, holding her close. His heartbeat thumped in her ear, her eyes closed and she felt her body relaxing again as she drifted of.

She'd get up soon. Just one more hour.

Juvia found herself drifting in and out of consciousness. She was aware the room was bright with light filtering in through the window, and of the muffled sounds coming from the kitchen. Mostly she was aware of Gray. Of the sounds of his breath and heartbeat, of the warmth of his skin pressed against her, of the faded woodsy smell of, what she assumed was, his cologne.

It was these things that keep her from truly waking. They lulled her back in every time she tried to will herself awake and off the couch.

Her eyes were closing and she was losing the battle for wakefulness yet again when she felt a staccato vibration right against her stomach.

Her eyes shot open and she lifted herself up and away from the buzzing as Gray stirred and squirmed, his hand sliding down between them to reach for his pocket.

He frowned as his hand brushed against her and blearily opened his eyes, blinking up at her.

She watched as his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a brilliant red as he seemed to clue into their positions.

Her own cheeks felt warm, and she found herself running a hand through her tangled mess of hair, in an attempt to tame it into something remotely presentable. Why that hadn't occurred to her sleep addled brain before now was a mystery she was cursing.

Another round of vibrations pulse between them, and she looked down to where his hand was frozen in his pyjama pocket. "Aren't you gonna get that?"

"Right!" Gray jerked his hand out of his pants, fumbling the phone as he attempted to receive it before the call ended.

He finally managed to get a hold of it and swiped his finger over the lock screen, then brought his phone to his ear. "Yo," he greeted.

Juvia was surprised when she heard the the voice that responded.

"Fuck, were you still sleeping?" Gajeel asked.

Gray blinked and pulled the phone down just enough for them both to see Gajeel's name written across the top of the screen. Gray frowned before hesitantly returning the phone to his ear. "Uh, yeah…."

Gray paused and waited, but got no reply. "So, what's up?"

There was another long pause before Gajeel sighed. "I've been tryin' to get a hold of Juv's but she's not answering her phone, neither's Lyon. Just wanted to check in; make sure she was holdin' up. I was hoping you might actually be up and know where they're at."

Gray glanced at Juvia. "She's fine, actually. She's right here if you wanna talk to her."

Juvia felt her stomach drop.

"What?!" Gajeel screamed.

Gray jerked the phone away from his ear and winced in pain.

"Why the hell is she there with you?" Gajeel's voice boomed.

Juvia grabbed the phone before Gray could protest or think to respond with anything else incriminating. "Calm down, and stop screaming. You're freaking out over nothing."

"Nothing!" Gajeel crowed. "I try calling you and get no answer, and then I call Gray and find out you're just waking up with him. How the fuck is that nothing."

Juvia rolled her eyes.

Gray is staring at her, white as a sheet and wide eyed with panic, clearly having finally caught up and realized what what he'd said had implied.

"It's nothing, because whatever you've cooked up in your head isn't what happened. We just passed out together, on the living room couch I might add, so get your head out of the gutter."

"That doesn't mean shit with you. You honestly expect me to believe the living room couch is off limits to you? You, the girl Jose caught fooling around on the kitchen counter." Gajeel sneered.

Juvia's cheek flushed bright red, as Gray raised an eyebrow at her. Clearly he heard that. She smacked her palm over her face and attempted to breath through the embarrassment and fought for calm in order to dissuade Gajeel.

"Clearly not, but I'm telling you nothing happened. I woke up from a nightmare, I came downstairs, Gray was down here watching movies, we talked, had some hot chocolate and ice cream, then proceeded to watch the Aliens trilogy and passed out at some point. That's it, that's all," Juvia said through gritted teeth.

"You had a nightmare? What about?" Gajeel asked, quickly switching gears with this new information.

Juvia hesitated, glanced at Gray before swallowing down her anxiety. There was no point in backing down now, it was time to just lay it all on the line. "About my mom and dad, that night and then the accident. Only it switched to Carol when I tried crawling into the front seat. She was passed out from ODing and I couldn't wake her up."

Gray's hand found hers, and gave it a small squeeze of reassurance, and she squeezed his back.

There was a long pause on Gajeel's end before he let out a long sigh. She could almost picture him scrubbing his face with his hand. "Shit. That sucks. You okay?"

"Yeah, it sucked, but I'm doing alright. Like I said, Gray was up and he looked after me. Made sure I had lots of sugar and then willingly watched horror movies with me as a distraction so I'm good."

"Well good. I'm glad someone was there for ya. Gihihi, It was a good choice, going and seeking him out instead of just waking Lyon up." Gajeel teased.

Juvia rolled her eyes at the insinuation, and glared at the couch cushion in his absence. She could feel Gray's eyes on her, and see the smirk playing on his lips out of the corner of her eye. "It wasn't like that. I came downstairs and he was already there. Not much I could do about it."

Gray scoffed and leaned back against the armrest, crossing his arms over his chest and pouted.

Gajeel chuckled knowingly. "Uh huh, sure."

Juvia felt the heat returning to her cheeks and a quick glance at Gray let her know he'd noticed the change. She bit her lip and shifted positions, pulling her legs out from under her and letting them drape over his and onto the coffee table. "Whatever. So when are you getting here?"

The self satisfied smirk was back on Gray's lips and she shot him a quick glare to express her disapproval.

"Uh, yeah, about that. That's actually why I'm calling. Listen, Levy's grandma has invited us to lunch, and we've tried getting out of it, but-"

"Don't worry about it," Juvia interjected with confidence, despite feeling the initial pangs of disappointment. She took a deep breath and shoved them down, waiting as the line continued to remain silent.

Finally, Gajeel spoke up. "You know it ain't that easy."

Juvia sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I know it isn't, but I swear I'll be okay. It's not that bad, and everyone here knows at this point so I'm in good hands. No one's gonna push for anything today, and I'm sure once Lyon's up I'll be coddled for the rest of the day, so go to her grandma's thing. I get it, I'm not upset. A little disappointed, but I can get over it. Just means you're coming later right?"

"Yeah, we'll still be there. I'll grab the pizza on the way," Gajeel said

"So then we're good."

"Yeah, I guess we're good. Not that I have much of a choice."

"Nope, you really don't. Don't want to be the boy that made her skip her grandmother's on Christmas."

Gajeel scoffed. "Yeah wouldn't want that." There was another pause before he spoke up again. "Hey, put Gray back on the phone, will ya?"

"Sure…." Juvia slowly relinquished the phone, holding it out for Gray to take.

He grabbed it and she scooched closer, determined to listen in, in case Gajeel decided Gray still needed an earful about them sleeping next to each other.

"Sup?" Gray greeted, glancing at Juvia questioningly as she perched beside him.

"Listen Fullbuster, I need a favour," Gajeel started.

Gray raised an eyebrow and glanced at the phone warily. "Uh, okay…. Shoot."

"Look after Juvia for me today," Gajeel instructed.

Gray blinked and glanced back up at Juvia. He only hesitated for a moment before nodding. "Yeah, of course. You got it."

Juvia quirked an eyebrow at him, but Gray had already looked away and was sitting up on the couch. He stretched briefly before tucking the phone between his ear and shoulder, and stood up, heading towards the desk in the far right corner. "So anything I should know?"

Juvia blinked, she was tempted to follow him, so that she could know exactly what Gajeel would list but froze as she watched Gray fish out a pad of paper and grab a pen. She frowned, feeling like he might be taking the whole thing a little overboard. But at the same time it was kinda sweet.

His brows were furrowed in concentration as he jotted down a few things and would nod along to whatever it was Gajeel was saying. Finally he grabbed the phone back in his hand and looked over the list once more. "I think I got it all. We'll see you when you guys get here. Yeah. Kay. Bye."

Gray hit the end call button and stuffed his phone back in his pocket before turning back to face her. He ran a hand through his hair, pushing it back for a moment before letting it go and having it fall back across his forehead.

Juvia waited for him to say something, but the silence stretched between them, as they continued to stare at each other. Finally she swallowed and let a small smile curl up onto her lips and uttered a simple "thanks"

After all, for all that she thought he might have gone overboard in making a list of need-to-know's in order to take care of her, it was nice to know that he cared about her, and that he wanted to look after her.

Gray shrugged, averting his gaze, but a small smirk tugged at his lips. "Well, as you kinda pointed out, I shouldn't just do someone a favour cause I know they'll return it. I should do it because it's the right thing to do, So I'm trying that out."

Juvia frowned, trying to remember exactly when she said something like that. It sounded a little bitter to her now, though she supposed it was true. It took a moment before it clicked. The argument in the food court finally coming back to her, and her rebuke of Gray's lack of action towards Lyon.

It surprised her that he remembered that, and more importantly that he took it to heart. She'd been really harsh towards him that day, and he could have easily taken something negative from her rebuke. Most people would have. Instead, he understood exactly what she was trying to say, and was now seeking to prove he'd gotten the message.

She smiled at him brightly.

Gray smiled back and reached out, offering her his hand. "Come on, let's go get you a tea and some breakfast."

Juvia placed her hand in his, blushing as she did, and let him pull her up off the couch and into the kitchen to join his family.

When Lyon woke to an empty bed there had been a moment of panic. He'd been hoping to wake up with Juvia, and bring her tea in bed, to have a moment to talk about how she was feeling and just plan their day. Of course, he hadn't communicated that to her so he supposed he shouldn't be surprised that she'd gotten up and gone downstairs ahead of him. He didn't expect her to sit up there waiting for him to wake up, but he had hoped that maybe she would have woken him up.

He quickly put aside his own feelings and headed out into the bathroom to quickly fix his hair and wash his face before heading downstairs. He paused at Gray's door, frowning over the fact that it was ajar, meaning Gray was already up. That in itself was odd, because Gray usually stayed up until all hours of the morning and normally had to be dragged out of bed, but it was also the second morning in a row he was awake before Lyon.

A small part of him hoped that maybe Gray had gone out to another friends, but he had a feeling he knew what had caused Gray to get up early. His step-brother's attentiveness to Juvia bothered Lyon, and not just because he was worried about them hooking up if there was a mutual interest. Lyon was starting to realise that he felt a bit jealous of the way they were connecting.

Which was ridiculous, absurd, and completely irrational. There was no reason for him to be jealous, he was Juvia's best friend, he'd known her longer. No matter what, Gray wasn't going to just come in and take that away from him. And yet, that's what he felt. It's what drove him to lash out last night.

He took a deep breath, and soaked the washcloth with cold water, before wiping it over his face. The cold helped clear his mind and bring him back into focus. He needed to get a hold of himself, and shelve it; at least for the day.

Taking a deep breath he steeled himself, and headed downstairs. He froze in the doorway leading to the kitchen, as he realized his entire family was already congregated there.

Silver was cooking, and his mom was perched on a stool to the left of the stove, nursing a cup of coffee and supervising.

Gray was to his right, and much to Lyon's shock, was chopping vegetables according to Juvia's instructions. Or at least, he was trying to.

Juvia let out a huff of frustration and reached over to grab the knife only to have Gray swat her hand away.

"Stop it, Gajeel said you're not allowed to cook today. You're supposed to be relaxing," Gray said, before returning to slicing the red pepper in front of him.

"I am relaxing, you're just not doing it right-"

"I'm chopping vegetables, how can I do that wrong? They're cut into tiny pieces that's what's supposed to happen," Gray complained.

"They're not even," Juvia protested.

"So?"

"So they're supposed to be. It's not that hard, just let me show you." Again Juvia reached for the knife, only to have Gray hold it out of reach.

Lyon frowned at the scene.

Juvia was clinging to Gray attempting to reach the knife, and he was holding her around the waist to keep her from being able to reach any higher. There was a stupid smirk on his face as she struggled against him, and he couldn't help but feel like Juvia was just being playful, rather than actually frustrated.

It made something in the pit of his stomach churn and twist.

Ultear appeared beside him, having left her place by the coffee maker, and handed him a cup of coffee. "You look pissed."

Lyon grunted his assent.

Finally Silver grabbed the knife from Gray's hand. "That's enough of that, you're gonna hurt someone if you keep it up."

"He's right, Juvia just sit down, we'll live with uneven vegetables for a day, you can show him tomorrow," Ur said.

Gray grinned triumphantly as Juvia fell back onto her stool, and stuck his tongue out at her, causing Juvia to pout in response. He was about to go back to chopping when his eyes locked on Lyon and he froze.

Juvia followed his gaze and blushed when she saw Lyon. Her eyes darted between the two of them nervously.

"Ah, look who's finally gotten up and decided to grace us with his presence," Silver teased, flashing Lyon a brilliant grin.

"Good morning sweet heart. Did you sleep okay?" Ur ask.

Juvia seemed to recover herself, and was quick to hop off her stool and come greet him with a hug. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders. "Hey, good morning."

Despite the storm of unpleasant emotions trying to surge up within him, Lyon couldn't help but smile and hug her back. He pulled her close and held her a little too tightly, for a little too long. "Morning," he murmured, pulling back a bit to smiled down at her. "You should have woken me up. I've missed precious doting time. Do you need a refill on your tea?"

"Um, sure," Juvia replied, letting him go.

He noticed the reluctance to do so, as well as the nervous look on her face, as her eyes shifted back to the kitchen island. His eyes followed her gaze, and found Gray and his parents looking equally uncomfortable. He turned back to her, and cocked his head to the side. "What's up? I feel like I'm missing something."

Juvia licked her lips and took a deep breath. Her hands wrung together in front of her. "Well, it's just-" she paused, and looked up at him, meeting his gaze. He could see the fear gathering in her eyes.

He turned back towards her and placed his hands over hers, stilling the fidgeting. He gave her a light squeeze of reassurance, and nodded for her to continue.

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you. I know I should have, it's just, I ended up passing out on the couch last night, and so I was already down here, and-"

"Juvia it's fine, I was just teasing," Lyon said, attempted to halt her rambling. He offered her another smile to ease her worry.

Juvia bit her lip and shifted from foot to foot.

Lyon sighed and brushed his thumb across her knuckles. "Something else?"

She took another deep breath and held it. "I ended up passing out on the couch with Gray," she announced in a rush.

Lyon froze as the words sank in. He stared down at her, and that awful feeling returned ten fold. He dropped her hands and straightened. He could feel all eyes in the room on him, tense and waiting for his reaction. "Oh."

Juvia's eyes widened, and she stepped forward placing a hand over his. "Nothing happened. I swear, we were just watching horror films, and I was exhausted, and we must have just passed out. I swear. I only came down because I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep."

Lyon's head whipped up to stare at her. "You had a nightmare?"

Juvia bit her lip and nodded.

"Why didn't you wake me up? Was it about your family?" Lyon demanded.

Ultear rolled her eyes and placed a hand on Juvia's shoulder. "Dude, breathe, give her a chance to answer."

Lyon took a breath and nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you up, I wasn't really thinking, and you're not exactly easy to wake. I just headed downstairs hoping to get a cup of tea. And I'll tell you about the dream later okay? You're just waking up and I'm trying not to think about it to be honest." Juvia said. Her hand fell from his and she wrapped her arms around herself.

Ultear rubbed circles into her back, and Juvia let out a shaky breath.

Lyon forced himself to relax, and let the tension out of his body. "Okay, that's fair." He paused then added a "sorry" for good measure.

Juvia shook her head. "Don't be, I get it."

He nodded and forced a smile to his lips. The gnawing feeling had subsided a little, though it still itched and tingled, reminding him he wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of Juvia sleeping next to Gray, but he decided to put it aside. Today wasn't about him, it was about her. He shouldn’t make too big of a deal out of Gray comforting her, especially if he wasn't there to do it himself.

He took a breath. "So tea refill?"

Juvia smiled at him and nodded. "Please."

He smiled back, and this time it felt genuine. He grabbed her mug from the island and carried it towards the kettle and hit the button to get it to boil.

Ultear leaned against the counter beside him pouring herself another cup of coffee. She shot him a look, and Lyon frowned, unsure exactly what he'd done to piss her off, but she quickly looked away, and returned to watching the rest of their family as she sipped on her coffee.

Juvia sat back down next to Gray, but instead of returning her attention to him as well, she turned to smile at Lyon.

Tension lingered in the air for a moment, before Silver elbowed Gray. "Hop back to it, those vegetables aren't going to chop themselves. And be quick about it, you gotta keep up."

Gray rolled his eyes, but there was a smile on his lips as the room filled with laughter, and a few jeers. Even Lyon joined in, taking the free shot while he could. Everyone settled back comfortably and Lyon soon joined Juvia by her side.

It wasn't an ideal start to his day, but he'd had worse. There was still plenty of time to dote on Juvia and he wasn't going to miss another minute of it worrying about Gray.

Lyon's fork clattered against his plate, and he leaned back rubbing his overly full stomach. "Mmm lunch was amazing Dad."

"Definitely one of your better meals, even if the peppers and onions weren't very uniform," Ultear teased, grinning in Gray's direction.

Gray glared back at her. "I'd like to see you do better."

"Now, now. Can you not start? It's been a relatively peaceful meal for once." Ur said.

Ultear shrugged, and Gray sighed, but nodded.

Juvia hummed in contentment and reached for Lyon's plate.

Lyon swatted the back of her hand before she could grab it, causing her to frown at him.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked.

Juvia rolled her eyes and shrugged. "Clearing the plates?"

Lyon shook his head and gave her his best disapproving mom look. "You know you're not supposed to do that.”

"Seriously? I can manage clearing some plates and putting them in a dishwasher, I'm not that fragile," Juvia complained.

"Nope, Lyon's right," Gray interjected. "Gajeel said absolutely no chores, and that's a chore."

"But-"

"You heard him, Gajeel's orders." Lyon grinned at her, and chuckled when she glared back at him, before starting to collect the plates.

Before he could take them into the kitchen Gray had hopped up and was coming around the table. "I got it, you keep an eye on her."

Lyon quirked an eyebrow at him, but handed the plates over. It was more than a little obvious that Gray was trying to curry favour, Lyon just couldn't figure out if it was with Juvia or him. It made sense that Gray might be acting out of guilt, and part of him wanted to believe that maybe Gray meant it when he said he was trying to make amends; but another part of him caught the way Gray looked at Juvia, saw how attentive he was to her needs, and knew that there was something more going on there.

It's was weird though, being around both of them, it was easy to slip into friendly banter and forget about everything else. It was easy to work alongside Gray where Juvia was concerned instead of constantly butting heads.

Lyon reached out and threaded his fingers through Juvia's as he continued to contemplate the complexities of their little dynamic with Gray, while she chatted with Silver, Ur and Ultear.

Once Gray was seated back at the table Ur straightened, and cleared her throat, drawing everyone's attention.

"Alright, it's time to get down to business, the party is tomorrow and there's still way too much that needs to be done so I'm going to need you kids to help out. Silver and I are going out to pick up food and supplies. While we're gone I was hoping the rest of you could handle decorating the house and the tree."

Ultear groaned and laid her head down on her forearms, one hand gestured loosely between Gray and Lyon. "Ask your sons, that's usually their job."

Gray and Lyon both shrunk under Ur's scrutiny, but hesitated to commit themselves to helping, instead glancing warily towards Juvia.

Ur let out a frustrated sigh and shook her head. "She doesn't need both of you playing mother hen, I'm sure one will suffice."

Lyon had to admit, he was eager to decorate the tree and help with the decorating. It had always been his favourite part of the year, but another quick glance at Juvia and he knew he needed to sit this one out. "Sorry Mom, I promised Juvia I'd spend the day with her as payment for going out to Magnolia last night, so you're stuck with Gray."

Ur rolled her eyes at his comment, but he could see her fighting back a smile. "That's fine, Gray's actually done just fine the last two years. I'm sure it'll be beautiful, and I'll be happy so long as it gets done."

Gray puffed up at little at the praise, but his eyes lingered on Juvia.

Lyon wrapped his arm about her shoulder and pulled her close, locking eyes with Gray from across the table in the process.

Gray held his gaze for a moment, and Lyon thought he might argue about the arrangement, but the moment passed and he deflated, turning to Ur. "No worries, I've got it covered, at least it means we won't have to live in some tacky green and red hallmark card for the next couple of weeks.

Lyon scoffed, and shot a glare at Gray. "Uh huh, cause there's a lot of other options right?"

Gray just rolled his eyes and got up, heading through the kitchen, towards the mud room to fish out the decorations.

Lyon knew he ought to just stay seated and ignore him, but something was nagging him about Gray's comment and finally he cracked, and got up and followed.

He frowned as he entered the room and his eyes fell on the boxes of decorations. "What are those?"

Gray frowned at him, confusion mapped across his face. "The Christmas decorations. What are you doing in here? I thought you were going to spend the day with Juvia?"

Lyon felt a sliver of guilt, but pressed on, ignoring Gray's jab. "Since when?"

Gray's face screwed up in confusion, before a look of understanding took over. "Since you left."

"Why did we get new decorations? What happened to the old ones?" Lyon demanded, a surge of panic running through him.

"Relax, there in here too. And we didn't get new decorations, I did. Everyone forgot about decorating the year you left and when I realized that I decided if I was gonna be the one doing it I wanted to do it my way." Gray explained, while dragging the Christmas tree box from the closet.

Lyon glared down at the offending decor. "What, exactly, was wrong with the decorations we had?"

"They're tacky," Gray said with a shrug.

"Tacky," Lyon sputtered. "They're traditional! And a lot better than these I might add. I mean blue and white snowflakes? Really? That's so overdone." He continued, gesturing to the assortment of bulbs and lights at his feet.

"Yeah, cause green and red isn't?" Gray shot back.

"That's different, those are the colours of the holiday. They can't be overdone." Lyon stated, matter-of-factly.

"Whatever. I'm decorating, that means I can do what I want." Gray said, leaning down and grabbing one of the boxes and hefting it up. He started carrying it out to the den where they usually set up the tree.

Lyon followed, hot on his heels.

"Besides, everyone's liked it the last two years, I've gotten a shit ton of compliments." He called back to Lyon over his shoulder.

"So? I always got compliments too, they were probably just being nice to you."

Gray rose an eyebrow at Lyon. "I'm old enough that they're not going to be worried about hurting my feelings, you on the other hand, were a kid. Pretty sure if any one was getting the pity compliments it wasn't me."

"Well, I think you're wrong. My decorating is on point and I think we should put it to a vote."

"How do you plan to do that?" Gray asked.

"We'll each get a side of the tree, most votes get to decorate the house." Lyon proposed.

Gray's eyes narrowed and he seemed ready to agree, then he shot Lyon a smug look. "I would, but there's just one problem."

"And what would that be?"

"You promised your girlfriend a whole day of horror movies."

Lyon faltered, and the smile fell from his face. He'd almost forgotten all about that. He frowned and sighed. He hated the thought of letting Gray win by default, because he was sure he'd win, but Juvia did take priority.

"Hey, what are you two arguing about now?" Ultear asked, wandering into the den with Juvia in tow.

"Nothing," Lyon muttered.

Gray smirked. "I was just showing Lyon the new decorations and telling him about all the compliments I've been getting for them. He wanted to compete to see which style was preferred, but well, I reminded him he's got prior obligations, and promises to keep."

Juvia raised an eyebrow at him. "That's sweet of you, but I really don't mind if he wants to decorate. If I'm honest, you two have been smothering me for the last two hours and I could use a break."

Lyon perked up, and looked at Juvia, trying to see any signs of hesitation. "You know you don't just have to say that. I did promise to watch horror movies with you, and I fully intend to keep that promise."

Juvia nodded and smiled at him. "Oh, I know you will, but it doesn't have to be right this minute. It's better to watch movies in the dark anyways."

Lyon's face lit up and he wrapped Juvia up in a tight hug. "I love you, I love you, I love you." He planted a firm kiss on her cheek before sprinting off towards the mud room in order to pull out his decorations.

"Okay we're heading- Woah!" Ur cried as Lyon almost barrelled straight into her.

"Sorry Mom!" he called, hopping around her and returning to his mad dash.

Gray stalked into the room behind him, and grabbed another box from the floor as Lyon managed to drag a large box from the closet.

"What are you two doing?" Ur asked.

"Decorating," Lyon grunted, hefting the box up and following Gray back into the den.

Ur followed behind them, a worried look written across her face. "Both of you?"

"Yep, we're gonna divide the tree in half and decorate it in our own styles, and you're all going to vote to see who gets to decorate the rest of the house." Gray said, setting down the box with ease and moving to go grab another.

Ur held her hand up and fixed him with a stern look, halting him in his tracks.

Lyon let out a huff as he straightened after setting down his own box and turned his attention back to his mom.

"This is not happening. You two are not turning decorating our house into a competition." Ur insisted.

"But Mom-" Both of them cried in unison, then turned to each other with a scathing glare.

"No, no buts. I thought you were spending the afternoon watching movies with Juvia," Ur said to Lyon.

"Well-" Lyon started

"I don't mind." Juvia interjected. "To be honest this is kinda interesting."

Ultear cackled, and draped an arm around Juvia's shoulder. "That's the spirit! You get comfy on the couch, I'm gonna grab some wine and snacks."

"What?" Ur exclaimed, "No, no wine. This has not been agreed to."

"Oh, come on Mom, let them duke it out. You said you'd be happy no matter what, so long as it was done for you," Ultear said.

Ur shot Ultear a reproachful look.

"She's got a point, you did say that dear," Silver said with a wide grin plastered on his face as he walked into the den from the kitchen.

"Not you too. We don't need to different sets of decor throughout the house." Ur said.

"It won't be," Lyon said. "Just two sets on the tree and then the winner gets to decorate the house in their style."

Ur frowned, but sighed when she noticed everyone looking at her expectantly. "Fine, whatever. Just don't destroy anything."

A chorus of cheers echoed through the house.

Ur rolled her eyes, and headed for the door, not wanting to witness the catastrophe that was about to unfold. "We'll be back in a couple hours!"

"'Kay." Ultear said.

"Bye Mom!" Lyon exclaimed and waved.

"Drive safe," Gray called out.

Once she was out the door Lyon was back to retrieving boxes.

Silver smirked, and clapped Gray on the shoulder as he made his way to the door. "Make me proud kid."

"Will do," Gray called out, with a wave.

Ultear grinned at Juvia. "Get comfy girl, this is gonna get good. I haven't watched them compete at something in over six years!"

Juvia giggled at Ultear's enthusiasm and plopped down onto the couch. Both boys were rushing about, piling more and more boxes into the room. It was a bit weird, sitting there in the midst of the chaos, surrounded by Christmas everywhere she looked. There was a time when it would have been unbearable, but in that moment, it really wasn't so bad.

Juvia had to admit, she was more than amused at how seriously the boys had taken the challenge presented to them. Most people would have said they were going overboard, but Juvia admired tenacity, no matter what the reason for it, and both of them had it in spades.

Once they'd finished piling boxes into the den they'd actually worked together to assemble the tree. Ultear had been in charge of the music, but had quickly abandoned the effort as the two of them had argued repeatedly over what to listen to, and complained loudly when the other's choice was being played. In the end, Juvia had taken over, with the rule that the music being played had to be Christmas themed as that seemed to garner the least amount of bickering or complaints.

And so she'd spent the last half an hour going back and forth between Gray's traditional choices and Lyon's pop renditions. Currently it was Lyon's choice, and he'd decided to put on a show with it.

"What a bright time, it's the right time, to rock the night away," Lyon sang, He was right in front of Juvia as his hips swayed to the music. "Jingle bell time, is a swell time." He turned and smacked his ass. "To go riding in a one-horse sleigh."

"Ah! Lyon stop, get your butt out of my face!" Juvia shrieked, amidst a chorus of laughter, as she planted her foot against his ass and tried to shoved him forward.

Lyon caught himself before he moved far, and planted his hands on his knees and began twerking his way back toward her as he sang. "Giddy-up jingle horse pick up your feet. Jingle around the clock."

He swiveled his hips right above her lap and Ultear let out a whistle and Gray shout out cat calls.

"Mix and a mingle and a jingling beat. That's the jingle bell, that's the jingle bell, that’s the jingle bell rock!" As Lyon ended the song he dropped into Juvia's lap, arms spread wide in a typical tada fashion.

She would have been more annoyed, but the room erupted in laughter and applause and truthfully she found it more funny than anything. The wine Ultear kept feeding her was probably helping in that matter.

Plus the little stunt seemed to diffuse the remaining tension between him and Gray. The two of them laughed together, as Gray hauled Lyon off her and they returned to decorating the tree. It was a gaudy monstrosity at this point; half covered in red and green ornaments, with big red bows, and candy canes, while the other half was blue and silver ornaments, with white snow flakes, and icicles dangling. The only thing uniform about the tree was the white lights.

Juvia sighed and returned to queuing the playlist. She'd been good about keeping their preferences even, but after a bunch of searching she'd finally managed to find what she was looking for, and grinned. "Guys, I don't suppose you'd be okay if I played some of my music for a bit?"

"Uh…." Lyon tensed and turned to look at her, apprehension written across his face.

Juvia did her best to look innocent.

"Sure." Gray replied, with a shrug, still focused on hanging icicles from the tree.

"I don't know…." Lyon said, still eyeing Juvia suspiciously.

Gray frowned and glanced at Lyon. "I don't see what the big deal is, so long as she sticks to the rule, which is that it has to be Christmas music, then it can't be that bad."

Lyon bit his lip glancing between them.

"Geez, you hate her music taste or what?" Ultear asked.

Juvia giggled, "I have a bit of an eclectic taste in music. It's kinda all over the place."

"Well I say go for it, so that's two of us, and Lyon's supposed to be pampering you for the day, so he can't really complain too much, so I think you're in the clear," Ultear said.

Juvia grinned. "Awesome."

"Oh boy," Lyon muttered. "Don't say I didn't warn you two."

Ultear rolled her eyes, and Gray scoffed.

Juvia hit play, and the soft chime of jingle bells started forming the background to the song, and Lyon stared at her in confusion, before looking pleased at her choice. Finally a choir of singers softly began to sing.

                                  We wish you a merry Christmas

                                  We wish you a merry Christmas,

                 We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

The jingle bells dropped out, distorting into heavier background music, and Juvia let her grin turn devilish as Lyon's shoulders sagged in resignation.

This time the voices were louder and more rough.

                                 We wish you a metal Christmas,

                                 We wish you a metal Christmas,

                   We wish you a metal Christmas and a happy New Year!

Drums erupted and a heavy electric guitar wailed.

                                                      YEAH!

Ultear stared at her in complete shock and Gray dropped an ornament as he practically jumped.

Juvia laughed as he spun around, giving her the most perplexed look. "You're into heavy metal?"

"Yep," Lyon replied for her, heaving a sigh.

"Seriously?" Ultear asked, raising her voice to be heard above the music. "You don't exactly seem like the type!"

Juvia responded by raising her hand in the air. Her fingers formed the sign of the horns and she banged her head along to the music. She caught Lyon rolling his eyes at her, but he sent her a small smirk anyways, and to her surprise, none of them complained.

[raisingsupergirl]

Lent 2021 and Some Spiritual Warfare

We did it! We survived 2020! It's all smooth sailing from here on out! There's no more conflict, no more oppression, no poverty, no death, and no fear. We're all free to live in the utopia that is 2021. And it all feels like… more of the same. For example, on Saturday, in the span of an hour, my dog pooped in no less than 20 different parts of my in-laws basement (not exaggerating), my wife broke their cabinet, and the electricity went out. We had a hunch it was coming though, right? As I said in my post last week, we all knew that we would have to do some climbing to make it out of our hole. Well, I also said last week that I had some steps in place to begin my own climb, so I guess it's time to get it all out there.

New Years' Resolutions have never been my thing. Their very essence is that of temporary commitments. They're set up for eventual failure. And so, I've never really made them. However, this year is different. Why? Because 2020 left me (like most people, I'm guessing) with an inordinate amount of baggage (fear, anger, instant gratification, lethargy, apathy, distraction, escapism, etc.), which will require some extra effort to break free. And because I'm tying my resolutions to something bigger. I'm strengthening them with the thing I do every year that DOES work to get my life back on track, and I'm hopeful that this year they'll change my life forever. You see, this year, my birthday falls on Easter, which is special because, for a non-Catholic, I take Lent VERY seriously. I give up a ton of vices and distractions so I can focus in on the important things in life. Namely, I focus in on my purpose for living: Love God with all your heart, soul, and strength, and love your neighbors as yourself.

As in previous years, I'm going to list everything here that I'm going to "give up" and everything I'm going to "pick up," but in an effort to really separate 2021 from 2020, I'm not waiting. I'm going to kick things off right now. Rather, I've ALREADY kicked them off. January 1 marked the beginning of my six-week boot camp where my dos and don'ts are black and white. Either I'm doing them or I'm not. And THEN, for six weeks after that, I'm going to ease back into things in moderation, which I'm hopeful will help me maintain my purposefulness. If I have a glass of whiskey, for instance, I'm going to just have one, and I'm going to be mindful of the hand that provided it for me. I’m going to see it for what it is: a gift meant to supplement life, not define it. And if you've done the math, you'll know that in twelve weeks, we'll be celebrating Easter (and my birthday). In this way, I've set apart the first quarter of 2021 to be holy, to be contemplative, to be purposeful. I plan to root out my true desires, goals, strengths, and weaknesses. I plan to strip away the distractions and dependencies so, hopefully, when that holiest of holidays is upon us, I'll have a much clearer picture of what's ahead. And so, in an effort to keep my mission clear, here's what I'm committing to for the next six weeks (and in purposeful moderation for six more weeks after that).

I will: go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, exercise every morning, read my Bible every morning, read a "just or fun" book every night, read my devotional and spend time in reflection every night, do yoga or stretch every night, and read to my kids at least once a week.

I won't: drink alcohol or caffeine, use tobacco, use YouTube or social media, snack on weeknights, eat fast food during the week, watch TV or play video games during the week, dwell on lustful thoughts or images, or

I know, quite a list, huh? I know you're all impressed. I'm a pretty great person… Okay, okay. If you know me, you know I'm joking. And you also know I'm an all or nothing kind of person (I think most people are). Life's just easier on autopilot. Which is why I'm making these big changes for six weeks and then easing back into "regular" habits for another six weeks. Sure, I could continue the ascetic life ad infinitum (aka deny myself earthly pleasures forever), but as a Christian, I belief God created the diversities of life for us to enjoy. So hopefully the next three months are transformative for me. Hopefully they lend perspective and focus, peace and appreciation, so that I can, in turn be more effective at seeing and acting out God's will for my life, even if that transformation doesn’t come easy.

Oh, I almost forgot. There's one more thing. This is my last blog post for the next six weeks, too. Believe me, this is not an easy decision, as I've blogged literally every week since my six-year-old daughter was born. But the circumstances surrounding this decision can't be ignored. However, before I explain them, I'll ask you to remember that my nature is that of an extreme skeptic and pragmatist (sometimes to a fault), so I don't accept or share this event lightly. Okay, with that out of the way, here goes. I've suffered from sleep paralysis off and on my whole life. Sometimes, it's the classic phenomenon where my mind wakes up before my body, and the disconnect results in a sensation of being physically held down, usually by a dark, featureless evil (it's where the word "nightmare" comes from: a mare/evil spirit sitting on one's chest and holding him down. The paintings are a little terrifying…). It's pretty awful, but it's physiological. Sometimes, however, it's something… different. And this last Sunday morning, it was definitely different.

You know those times when you're half-awake and things just make sense? Or when you're in the shower, or driving, or knitting and you have an "aha" moment? Well, I awoke around 5:30 a.m. on Sunday with that kind of clarity. But it wasn't a good thing. I was aware of something… attacking me. There's no other way to say it. It wasn't standing in the doorway or holding me down like sleep paralysis. It was inside. And it was angry, jealous. And it was lashing out. I won't get into the specifics, but two days into giving up my life of gluttony and I'd already made the Deceiver mad. I vividly experienced threats, taunts, bargains, temptations, and even brief physical pain. There were times when I (or he) tried to reason that it was sleep paralysis, but it was nowhere the same. And the funny thing is, when I called out to God, the "other" voice faded almost immediately. Not gone, just pushed back. It took close to a half an hour of prayer to silence it completely, but after that, something beautiful happened. Peace. Lucidity. Things made sense in a beautiful way. My desires and motivations, God's desires FOR me, the path I should take. It's times like those when it's easy to believe in a higher power—a being who understands things in ways that we can't imagine. Not how physics works or where the best coffee comes from, but something deeper, set apart. And in that moment, I tapped into some part of that being's thoughts and emotions that worked together and just made sense.

Again, I'm aware that this sounds ridiculous. But I learned a while ago to not judge other people when I've not walked in their shoes, so I'd challenge you to keep an open mind. I've been blessed with experiences like these a few times in my life, and (without going into the specifics), this one made it clear that I'm draining my creativity and motivation without filling it back up. I'm not purposely taking in beauty for beauty's sake. I'm not appreciating art and human achievement without pouring my own energy into it for other people. No, when I have a thought, I have to share it with the world. I have to distill it, polish it, and try to do it BETTER for other people. Every experience is burdened with the need to turn it into a lesson for YOU. And because of that, I'm going dry. I'm burning out. And that's why I have to give up blogging for a while. I have to refill. I have to stop worrying about what I'm producing and go back to enjoying life without strings attached.

Okay, sorry for the lost post, but hey, I had a lot to say since you won't hear from me for a while. If you want to get ahold of me for the next six weeks, text or private message me. I'll still check those. But in the meantime, I'm going to slow down. I'm going to smell the roses (thank God I have my smell back!). I'm going to listen to whispers and enjoy each breath. Oh, and I'm going to fight the urge to tell you about the profoundness of those breaths. It's gonna be wild.

Like every year, I'm sure I'll fail. I'm sure I'll slip up with a cheeseburger or a few cookies before bed. But that's not the point. I'll move on without letting it derail the bigger goal. I'll forgive myself (as God forgives me) and keep focused on what these actions are designed facilitate—identifying and reshaping my true desires. If I can do that, anything's possible. So here's to a transformative 2021, friends. The sky's not the limit. It's just the beginning.

[plantsandbirdsandrocksand-things]

What’s The Colour Of Fury?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/24325285

Words: 1708

Summary:  When Magne turned up at the warehouse and told her and Fjor to run, she hadn't thought twice about dragging Fjor to his car and doing exactly that. But now what?

Notes/Warnings: Cursing, ALL the angst, post season one, Fjor x Gry

Gry was shaking. It had started in her hands and no matter how hard she gripped the steering wheel, she couldn’t conceal it. Although Gry wasn’t sure it mattered if she had successfully managed to hide it or not - by how limp Fjor was in the back seat of the car, Gry would be shocked if he even noticed.

Her mind was still whirling at a thousand miles an hour, trying to make sense of what had happened, but she kept coming back to Fjor’s burning orange eyes. Had she hit her head? Had she hallucinated? Fjor wouldn’t really try to kill her, right?

Gry shook her head violently and slammed down hard on the accelerator, gritting her teeth. There was only one place she needed to get to right now - once she was there, she could sort through this.

“Fjor, I’m taking you to a hospital, okay?”

There was a sudden movement behind her, a hiss of pain and then Fjor’s hand was on her arm. The glance she risked towards him revealed his eyes were pleading.

“No,” he groaned, “no hospital. Please - that’s the first place they’ll look.”

“What do you mean? Who’s going to be looking for you?”

“My - ah - my family.”

“What?”

But Fjor had already collapsed back into the seat, eyes glazed over as if even holding himself upright for a few seconds was excruciating.

“Just - there’s a cabin up the mountain - ten minutes drive from here - no one knows about it. We’ll be safe there. Please. ”

Gry swallowed and yanked the steering wheel hard to the left, the sharp u-turn slamming her against the door. What the hell was she doing - Fjor clearly needed the hospital. But the look in his eyes was so desperate and his panic so infectious that Gry herself felt the anxiety setting in. When she’d dragged Fjor over to the car after Vidar had shown up at the warehouse, she didn’t exactly have a game plan - but this seemed as good as any.

She was so lost in thought that she almost missed the person wandering up the path ahead and Gry’s eyes widened as she recognised Laurits’ signature smirk. There was no time to question why he was now blond or rocking a dress as Gry slammed on the breaks, realising too late that she’d forgotten to strap Fjor in. She winced at his bark of pain, but was out of the car and beside Laurits before the car had even finished moving.

“Gry? What-”

“Laurits! Oh my god, you need to get to the warehouse on Adelers Drive - Magne’s there, I think he’s going to get hurt -”

At the mention of his brother, Laurits’ eyes sharpened. He gripped her arm.

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. What’s going on with Magne?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know! He’s there with Vidar - I don’t think Vidar knows what he’s doing - they’re killing each other Laurits!” Gry knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t help herself, “I got Fjor out but he’s in a really bad way. I just - I don’t know what to do!”

Laurits’ eyes flickered over to Fjor who was still limp in the back seat and the last of the smirk drained from his face.

“Shit,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair, “shit. Okay, I-”

BOOM!

With a sound like the very air itself was being cleaved in two, a silver fork of lighting speared out of the thunderclouds that had been amassing overhead. Gry traced its path with her eyes, watching as it slammed down in the lower end of town. Near - oh god - near the warehouse.

And Laurits bolted; running as fast as he could in that dress and those shoes as if his life depended on it. Gry stared after him, taking one shaky breath and then another before climbing back into the car. Something was going on in this town and she didn’t stick around to find out what.

“Okay Fjor, where’s your cabin?”

_____________________

It had taken Gry half an hour to reach the cabin. The road to it was filled with potholes and cracks, and even though Gry had driven it at a snail’s pace, it hadn’t stopped Fjor wincing in pain at every bump. At least he’d become more lucid on the drive up and if she was really honest with herself, Gry had never been more relieved in her life.

And at least she had been so focused on the tense drive there that she hadn't been able to linger on the events of the day. But now they were sitting in the living room, Fjor propped up on the sofa and Gry rigidly perched on the edge of the coffee table, it was all she could do to stop a full on anxiety attack. She gave a shuddering breath and placed her head in her hands. Fjor shifted forward until he could grab her fingers.

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay.”

“No, it’s not Fjor! I don’t know how you’re so calm; you - you almost died!”

He gave a grim smile, “But I’m fine aren’t I? Look, my shoulder isn’t even bleeding.”

Gry abruptly stood, wringing her hands as she paced the room. “And that’s exactly the thing! It should be bleeding! You got hit by a fucking hammer Fjor! And thrown by Magne of all people. But you’re fine - you’ve practically healed in half an hour.” Gry could tell she was spiraling but didn’t care. “What was that in the warehouse? Please - just tell me what’s going on.”

Fjor swallowed. Hard. “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“The truth Fjor. Please.” Gry glanced away as her voice broke on the last word before forcing a laugh, “It can’t be crazier than the day I’ve had.”

And this time it was Fjor who glanced away. There was a long period of quiet that dragged on for so long that Gry was half-convinced he hadn’t heard her before Fjor replied in a near-silent whisper:

“My family was going to kill you.”

“What?” Gry blinked, wondering if she’d heard correctly. Fjor just rubbed his face, still avoiding eye contact.

“I  - they said it was either I could do it or Saxa would.” His eyes darkened. “And believe me, Saxa wouldn’t be quick about it.” Gry paused in her pacing - this had to be a messed up joke right? She let out a laugh but Fjor stayed silent, finally, finally meeting her eyes with a solid stare.

Slamming her hand over her mouth, Gry flinched backwards in horror, wincing as she slammed against the wall.

��Oh my god. Oh my god, you were going to kill me?” Panic tore down her spine as she spoke those dreaded words aloud. Get out, get out, get out. Gry was shaking her head violently now, feeling behind her for a door handle. Fjor sharply stood, still clutching his shoulder -

“Gry, wait!”

“No, no, get away from me!” Damnit where was the door?!  

Taking another step forward, Fjor reached out a hand. “Please, let me explain. Please Gry. I’m not going to hurt you - I’d never do that. Please. ”

And, damning her stupid, useless heart to hell, Gry paused at the pure desperation in his voice.

“Why would your family want to hurt me?” She whispered. The bolt of blinding panic had subsided somewhat, leaving exhaustion in its wake. Fjor just shook his head, collapsing back down.

“Because love makes me weak. Makes me human.”

“You - love me?” Shut up Gry, that’s not what you need to be focusing on right now. “Wait. It makes you… human? What are you talking about?”

“Yeah, I’m a-” He hesitated for a second, before continuing in a rush, “A giant.”

“A Giant.” “You know, those evil Jötunn in the Norse myths - although I guess you can’t really call them myths.”

And despite herself, Gry relaxed, crossing the room to sit next to him. That… actually explained a lot.

“Fjor, did you hit your head when Magne punched you? Are you feeling okay? How many fingers am I holding up?”

“What? No, I know how insane it sounds - just, watch my eyes.”

Gry obliged, watching as Fjor winced and then blinked. The eyes that opened were a harsh, fiery orange and even the breath in her lungs stilled as Gry froze, some primal level of her recognizing that the stare was pure, cold predator.

“Shit,” she gasped, flinching back on instinct as Fjor blinked again and the colour vanished, leaving Gry mute.

“Please say something,” Fjor said after the silence had stretched on so long it had become uncomfortable.

“What do you want me to say Fjor? I just - I don’t know - this is too much. You - you were going to kill me. How do I know you won’t try to do it again?”

“Gry, I swear on my life, I’ll never do that again.”

And despite her best efforts, some part of Gry believed him. Fjor reached out as if to touch her arm, but his fingers hesitated just over the skin and he pulled back, head hanging low.  

“And what if Saxa comes back? Would you attack her?” Gry’s voice was laced with sarcasm, bur Fjor answerd seriously anyway, eyes shadowing further.

“Yes.”

And Gry had nothing to say to that - this time she was the one avoiding eye contact. Her phone buzzed and Gry grabbed it, grateful for the distraction. A string of texts from none other than Laurits glared back up at her.

magnes gonna be okay

and vidar as well i think

wtf happened in the warehouse????

are u ok

is fjor ok

gry pls respond this is so fucked up

gry?????

“Vidar’s okay,” she muttered. Fjor’s face just tightened slightly as she set the phone back down. No, she could deal with Laurits later. “What are we gonna do Fjor?”

“I don’t know.” His voice was so hopeless it almost made Gry’s heart ache. Almost.

She bit the inside of her cheek and stared at him.”We’ll… we’ll figure this out together Fjor. It’ll take a while but… we’ll figure it out.”

Fjor opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, before closing it and choosing to gingerly grasp her hand instead.

And Gry let him.

Leave me a comment to let me know what you think!

[exquisite-tragedy]

Murder pt. 3

Before that she loves swimming, loves the ocean, loves being under water. It makes her feel safe. So it sounds like gabby was a woman of innocence, in her safe place, when the person she trusted died. She took all points of view in the dream which leads me to believe it’s all versions of her but maybe it’s not. Taking another approach, the innocent gabby in her safe place watched the man she was trusting die suddenly without explanation on top of her, bleeding from the eyes. That could be abandonment issues? Her father betraying her, her grandparents betraying her, her brother, stefanee, her mom. All people who have abandoned her. Maybe it was a dream about her abandonment issues. I still think it’s significant that she took all points of view though so I’m inclined towards they’re all her and it was a self reflective dream. Which would explain why after that she was lucid dreaming with one of her greatest loves, her Zeke. What a raw and emotional dream. Anyway. It’s hard for me not to see what a little baby gabby is. I want to leave that part of me behind. That sees the scared little girl inside of her. Because the outside of her is so mean. Lies. Manipulates. Doesn’t care. Is so so deeply sinister. Yet at the same time there’s that little bean inside of her that makes her a little baby sometimes that she’s so afraid of being in touch with. That’s the gabby I always think of. I can’t help it. Ugh. I care about her. UUUGGGHHH that stupid whore. That abusive, mean, manipulative, lying, snake. Why does she do all of that? She’s just a scared little baby on the inside. I understand being protective and mean. But she’s manipulative and lies for personal gain. That has nothing to do with the little girl. That has to do with self gratification and not caring about others. That’s the narcissistic part of her. That’s her father inside of her. I wish she could recognize and properly associate the evil in her that she needs to not give into. I have my father into me and I need to not give into it. The meanest parts of me are my dad. The saddest parts of me are my mom. I’d rather be good to others and be sad than bad to others and happy. Except gabby bc seriously I owe her nothing. Zip diddly squat. I still want to punch her in the face. Maybe she’ll just let me. I think I’ve earned the opportunity at a good beating. Someone to hold her back and let my angry little fists go to town. Oh Albany that’s the bad part of you you shouldn’t give into that. But I want to. I want to so deeply. And I could do it and not feel bad. I’m gonna nap lol. Sleep off all my hate. I don’t want to look for the best in gabby because she never shows her best only her worst and it’s how you treat people that matters not this super tiny part of yourself that you hide from everyone. I have a feeling I’m already being empathetic. Ugh I’m gonna be nice today I already know. God damn it. And my soul feels lighter choosing to do that. UGH. I don’t feel angry! WHICH IS BETTER!! Oh universe the way you rule with love can be so frustrating! But you’re right! Lead with love! Hate brings you and everyone else down. I will trust your will universe. I will go where you lead me. You lead me towards love I trust you. You lead me to not be angry I trust you. You guide me to open my heart and soul and I trust you. Please continue to guide me. Please don’t leave my side. I feel so lost right now. Breathe in the world and breathe out love until you’re breathing pure love. Goodnight. I trust you universe. I trust your whims. You guide me so well.

[sarahburness]

5 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Taking Life Seriously

Pretentious title, but far from a call to adopt a stance of apathy within this wondrous and dynamic reality we exist together in.

Well, no. It’s quite the opposite.

The insight I’d like to share with you today is the equivalent of an open-handed, movie-cliche slap to the face, regretfully but lovingly administered to pull a panicked comrade back from the brink of a full-blown meltdown catalyzed by a collapse of rational, critical thinking.

This short read is nothing special. Basically, it’s a reminder of the same thing you’ve always known, but for some reason decided to stuff far too deep into your travel pack. And of course, the bug sprays and painkillers at the top of the pile provide less incentive to dump the bag to re-evaluate priorities of survival.

My motivation this day is to encourage within you a willingness to consider the game you’re immersed in from a different hilltop. It’s one with a joy-horizon not obscured by the clouds of stress or grief.

Brevity is always the best way to get a message across, so let’s sink our teeth into the meat of this feast. Let’s skip the greens for a time when protocol dictates we munch on a smaller fare to prolong social interaction.

Enough ramble, let’s dive in.

Here are practical considerations to stop taking our lives so seriously:

Reason #1: You’re Gonna Die

This is definitely the most obvious and important point I need to share.

If your attention wanders to YouTube videos of dogs wearing hats before you read this essay’s completion, at least commit yourself to finishing this first segment’s diatribe. That way, you’ll still walk away with a much-needed reminder to stop giving such a serious fuck to whatever drama encompasses your life.

I can’t speak for Jesus. I can’t speak for yogis, mystics or other tight-lipped people about prolonging a physical body eternally. However, I can suggest to you that there’s a high degree of probability the animal vessel you occupy will slowly break down. It’ll become enfeebled, endure a six-foot covering of dirt or an unceremonious barbecue behind closed doors, severing your tangible connection to this physical world.

So, let’s look at death from both sides of the coin.

If you believe in a mechanistic, uncaring, fluke of a Universe that big-banged you from dumb luck and random chance, every second of your existence here should be valued as the only shot you’ll ever have to experience happiness or contentment.

So, why would you spend one second engaged in something you don’t want to do? Why would you fill your days ingesting toxic food? Why would you consume tainted water? And why would you believe the ridiculous ideas corporate entities endlessly serve to keep you in perpetual fear of living out your most heartfelt desires?

If you believe in the continuity of spirit, eternal life or any form of reality after the Earth-plane, the same basic questions apply — why would you spend a single second in fear of tackling head on each and every beckoning to revel in the experience of a unique, fleeting world? What could an eternal spirit possible have to worry about?

Don’t think about your fear. The time to jump into the deep end is now.

Whatever your beliefs, the most important thing you need to realize is the only time you’ll ever have at your disposal is this very moment.

If your job is boring, quit it. If your woman sucks the life out of you, ditch her. Or if you tap the snooze alarm ritually, it’s probably the time to consider making fundamental changes to the way you navigate your reality.

You can start climbing any moment you choose.

See Also: 7 Easy Ways to Remove Negative Energy and Unnecessary Stress

Reason #2: Your Telepathic Skills are Most Likely Not Great

I’ve met some bonafide empaths and psychics over the years. For the most part, humans are unable to step into the minds of their fellow creatures and accurately read the thoughts/emotions/intentions of the entity standing 2-feet from their face.

When we inject our personal spin on the motives of another, our egoic speculations are almost always a cause for grief. Judgment and faulty perception lead to obsessive and tormenting conjecture, such as…

“That person must hate me. Why else would she have said that? Look at her hair. What was she thinking? I wonder if my ass looks fat in these jeans. Oh, I forgot to check my Facebook updates, I’m sure someone liked my recent post by now. I’m gonna order nachos, I think they’re gluten-free. Oh yeah, forgot about that nasty person.”

And on and on…

The point here is simple and quick:

Stop judging other people’s journeys when you’ve never sampled their footwear. Stop caring about what people might think of you.

You wanna impress someone? Impress yourself and forget the tortuous speculations of how fellow explorers might perceive you.

Adopt an empathetic approach to life, applying it both to yourself and others. Keep in mind that your travel comrades have been just as duped as you to believe iPhones and designer clothing have any bearing on self-worth. The contributions necessary to healing this broken world will never come with a “Made in China” stamp.

Reason #3: You’ve Been Lied To

I’m doing my best to keep these points as concise and simplified as possible. However, there would be nothing more fulfilling to me right now than to break into a 97-part series about all the things we’ve accepted over the years as “truth.”

From politics to health to relationships to government to history to the very nature of the cosmos, everything our “protectors” have weaned us upon is manipulated, twisted, and skewed. They are so far from authenticity that “facts” are more accurately perceived by assuming the exact opposite of whatever vomit the media spews out.

Ironically, I can probably sum up this segment faster than any of the others with a simple statement. It comes not from a paranoid, untrusting person who rebels for the sake of rebelling, but from one who has experienced the buffet of media and culture first hand.

“Do not accept the sustenance proffered without sampling the fare. It makes no sense to fill your belly with fodder that causes indigestion, bloating or queasiness just because it’s familiar, convenient or steadily dined upon by the rest of the tribe. If the menu is unpalatable, learn to cook for yourself.”

Reason #4: Other Realities Exist

It’s tough to broach this topic in the mainstream without coming across as a foil-hatted nut job. I have a sneaking suspicion that within a decade or two, this next topic might just become the motivation for humans to rediscover the adventurous, limitless nature that lies at the core of our essence.

The subject here is lucid dreaming.

I will forego elaboration for the sake of a concise post. However, I would urge you to do a bit of research into this fascinating practice. Let me share with you the key insight I’ve learned from conscious awareness while in the “dream” world.

Earth is not the only game in town. No matter how much the gods of science and media love to dismiss the things they can’t measure, there’s far more happening under our very noses than the Facebook updates and Netflix subscriptions we’ve come to accept as the comforting norm.

There are other realities beyond the JunkieSphere we inhabit. I’ve visited, I’ve played ball. If a man of science wants to tell me there’s nothing more to my astral experiences than a delusion of synapses firing in my brain, I could easily make the argument Earthland conforms to the exact same parameters.

They’re equally both real or both fake — no further elaboration needed.

If you want to explore beyond your job at the office and renew your zest for life, I’ll give you a dozen links to start your journey of lucid dream exploration. Or just call me, I love shooting the shit with weirdos. Track me down through the bio.

Reason #5: Egos Are Fictional

Perhaps another obvious one, but worthy of a last loving slap to the face.

You can shift your ideals and views of the world you live in with a single thought. Your ego is a fiction you’ve created to provide a frame of reference to experience the world. It doesn’t have to control you any more than Instagram does.

An ego is capricious. It’s fickle, fluctuating, and endlessly malleable. The wider you open your doors of perception, the less controlled you’ll be by it. The less you define it, the grander your nature will become. The less often you feed it the spiritual Cheetos it joneses for, the wider the panorama of clarity will stretch, facilitating an ever-deepening understanding of cause and effect.

Maybe the person you hate at work isn’t a vindictive monster because she never gives you the days off you request. Maybe she’s just feeling impotent to change her own world, unconsciously projecting her shortcomings on the people around her. Or maybe life here on Earth isn’t the stress-filled, grab-as-many-prizes-before-the-circus-ends kind of carnival we’ve been led to believe it was. Perhaps, it’s just a unique opportunity to discover the very nature of who we are, what we are, and why we’ve chosen to pay the extra five bucks to enter the freak-show tent.

I’m not an expert on evolution, creationism or pretty much anything else for that matter. I can’t say for certain why humans wander this planet, but I’ve committed my days to digging as deeply as possible into the existential questions that haunt us all.

It’s up to us to choose when and where we ride

Perhaps, candy-floss isn’t the healthiest thing to walk away with as the carnies shut down the midway for the night, but I’m in no position to judge what might satisfy the longings of a wayward soul. We’re all doing our best to understand the endless stream of data thrown at us. The only way to do so is to experience the roller-coaster with arms up in the air as it peaks each crest. Sometimes, the attraction sucks and other times, we feel compelled to buy another ticket. Either way, it’s up to us.

Life is an amusement park that should be enjoyed, not wandered through in fear of every megaphone-announced call to action. The snake-oil tonics and rigged bottle-toss games will always be part of the show, but we can pass them by just as easily as convincing ourselves happiness couldn’t possibly exist without partaking in whatever the rest of the crowd is doing.

When you pass a long line of humans standing patiently, waiting to give the flavor-of-the-month a lick, don’t feel compelled to take a position among them. There’s a good chance the raspberry/crack cocaine swirl wasn’t engineered with your best interests at heart. Sample if you must, but also consider walking past the bright and colorful kiosk.

In Conclusion

Eventually, we’ll get to where we want to go, but only after donning our hiking shoes and accepting the eventuality our feet will get muddied.

And that’s why so few people stand on Mt. Happiness. If the path leading to it was already well-worn, equipped with safety lines and neon signs, we’d all be up there.

You’ll likely need a machete to find the hill you seek. Snakes and spiders will definitely await the trek. But once you’ve filled your soul with the stunning view after an exhausting journey, the pitiful knolls you’ve been continually encouraged to frequent will never satisfy again.

See Also: 9 Baby Steps To Happiness For The Naturally Gloomy

The really fun things are still out there. The adventure only awaits your willingness to embrace it with fascination and wonder, knowing limitation is merely a concept defined by Fox News and the fiction writers of science who profess their wisdom as absolute.

Grab your hat and walking stick, and find out for yourself.

The post 5 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Taking Life Seriously appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

from Dumb Little Man https://www.dumblittleman.com/dont-take-life-seriously/

[in-paradox-space]

very long rambly text post, you know the drill

you’ll get nothing out of reading it, you may as well scroll.

It’s fucking painful. 

I barely even know her

but I can’t stop thinking about her

I’ve met her once, I shouldn’t feel this way about her.

I can’t concentrate on anything.

I just really really want to be around her.

I miss her.

and its really fucking painful to think she probably just wanted to get away from me 

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

I need to work on improving my skills before college starts. I need to be able to pick myself up, eat the right foods, shower and sleep at the right times

I can’t. I can only think about her

and its weird. I have had crushes before, painful ones, for girls and guys.

and I’ve spent nights awake because of it

but this is making me really sad

to feel like I’ll never be with her and she’ll probably never approve of me

she probably thinks I’m really weird

and that I just want a hookup

because our mutual friends made it out like that before they invited her

and 

she’s a regular girl

I met her one night

and I don’t understand.

It would make sense for me to enjoy being around her and wanting to chill with her again

but it does not make sense that I feel like this

that she comes into my mind every single minute

and she makes it hard to focus on anything

I want to look at all the units on my course, and visualize how I can get the best grades in each one

I want to research some shit to buy 

I need to choose a good cheap bag to order from china or somewhere cheap

I can not concentrate on any of it. 

My mind is only interested in thinking of her

I’ve been waiting for a camera for weeks, it arrived today

I unboxed it. 

the tag and the plastic was still there

I need to format an SD Card and change the date/time settings

the box had the big bubble wrap 

why am I not excited? 

I don’t give a shit 

I don’t.

I only seem to care about her right now

and it feels like a drug craving

like im low

I need her to pick my serotonin up

and I think, relationships, crushes, love, affection, sex, all that shit

it kind of is like a drug 

not in a poetic way

but its basically the same release of chemicals in the brain

and you think about it every day

you look forward to it

and you feel highs and lows

pick me ups and comedowns

the rushes, the emotions

you change and shape your life to suit it, you make compromises

and its all for a release of the chemicals your brain creates

i know im not the first one to point this out

but im growing aware of it

and I’ve always been aware its just chemicals

an illusion, a distraction from what is important

and I know in reality it doesnt mean shit. I should move on and get on with whats important

but heres the thing

its making me low, because somewhere along the lines my serotonin or dopamine or one of those kind of things has been thrown off balance

and thats basically what happens when you want more cocaine, but it would be more extreme with cocaine of course

I want to see her again.

I dont want to ask my friends to invite her out again, its embarrassing that im interested

and i feel sort of uncomfortable knowing my friend fucked her that one time

i dont even care what we do

i just want to be around her

and i am well aware of how creepy this is 

considering i dont know her

and I spent one night with her

and if anyone spouted this shit to me, I’d think they were just being really dramatic

and they just wished they lived inside a movie

theres not really a pattern to when I think of her

and i find it so strange, because I really really dont know her

but I feel so strongly about her, like I would with a crush from high school

it just does not make sense, logically, to me.

but I will be thinking of anything and I’m suddenly overcome with this unique feeling

a reminder through my whole body

that I really really fucking like being around her

and I just want to be around her again

a feeling exactly like seriously craving a certain drug which you haven’t done for a day or so, but its less physical pain and more feeling emotion through a sense of weakness in your  body

 i wont tonight because i might not be thinking straight

but im considering just talking to my friend about it

and trying to see her again

and i want her to like me, but authenticity is important

but i wouldnt want them to set me up

and honestly i dont think she wants any of this

even if she did date me it’d probably be for 3 days and she’d move on

and she is the kind of girl I’d be friends with

but I really don’t consider people like her as anything more

she liked blink 182 and generic pop rock

i didnt even care about that

you can like whatever you like, but a part of my interest is usually dictated by that

i just liked her more

simply because I was learning more about her

and my god

I would fucking hate anybody who was talking like me right now

I will get over her. 

but for now I’m enjoying hearing her voice as I sleep

I think it happens to most people, it almost always happens to me after doing ecstasy 

the next few nights have mild hallucinations 

kind of abstract and psychedelic 

rarely scary but I have had very very fearful nights of paranoia a few days after in the past

they’re mainly voices

its like certain phrases keep being replayed in your ears over and over

not thought out but heard

like theyre really there

and you know theyre not there

but you feel as if these people are really around you

and youre in the same place

and you dont question it at all

you believe they are there

and its not imposing, it doesnt raise any questions. you’re physically in your bedroom but you look around, you hear them, youre really in the place you were the other night

and eventually when youre really drifting off

it becomes lucid visual

and you see them but you also dont

and its just certain things being replayed

and it has the potential to turn into a bad trip but its mostly pleasant and soothing

and I can still hear her voice

I still hear my friends and his girlfriends

but I hear hers too

I love it

I don’t want it to go away

I cant think of what she says

well theres one phrase

and again it makes absolutely no fucking sense

shes just a completely regular fucking girl, with her own interests and experiences

some we share. some we dont

and i met her fucking once, spent one night high with her. we didnt even kiss. hugged once

she didnt express any interest

didnt show any signs of it

and my heart feels fucking weak

and my body is released with, is it endorphins? 

it feels like when something release endorphins

an opiate effect.

im going to see her again

i wish my brain could take that in

so it will stop distracting me with thoughts of her at this crucial part of the year

the version of me from a year ago would feel disgusted by these posts

and I’m sorry, old me

I’ll always be me

probably

ill feel that same way about love again

i dont know what this is

i think im physically dependent on codeine again

and that might have influenced me being sick before

i took some when i got off the bus but it didnt change much

im going to go cold turkey anyway

i was planning on taking some at a gig but i begged kek, bargained to not be sick until im off the bus

and i made a sort of deal that i will sacrifice taking codeine at the gig

then bargained some more and said id stop

idk if it was them who helped me 

but a deal is a deal

and it will still be a fucking good show

would probably love it more if I was high though

im gonna have to forget that

and I feel sick again

im going to wash my hair and sleep

I started college today

I got up at 6am, and I would’ve made it on time but I was almost sick on the bus ride.

I didn’t want that to be my first impression so I went home.

I think it’s because of the weekend. I don’t take alcohol very well, even a little. Or cigarettes. I just get migraines from anything slightly unhealthy. 

I think its more of a delayed hangover/comedown though. 

If the pills are 200mg each, I did roughly 700-900mg of MDMA on over two different days.

I started one day, rested the next and continued the day after that.

to some thats a lot. 

To others it’s a milestone they’re way past. 

It’s the most I think I’ve done in that timeframe though though. 

I’m still very tired after sleeping through the afternoon and very weak. 

I want to make it tomorrow but I don’t think I will. 

It’s a shame. I want to ace the first project and make a good first impression. 

I told them I get ill a lot, they should understand but I think they’ll be suspicious that I just happen to be seriously ill on the first day

especially after talking about how much better I am compared to the start of the year in the interview

Now im going to think of a personal tag for her,

one memorable that isnt her name