#like the universe couldn't let me have a peaceful end to college | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shomatoriashi · 10 days ago

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02/06/25; 05:22pm

sung jinwoo x fem.reader

thinking about meeting sung jinwoo for the first time during college.

despite your university being a larger school, you always took notice of a tall young man with startling, grey eyes named sung jinwoo. he seemed kind enough while sporting a smile that seemed to be as mysterious as the moonlight (not quite reaching his eyes, but always captivating nonetheless.) he was quite popular among your female peers, often being the object of their affections as they tried to gain his attention (almost desperately.)

of course, you were all too aware of how achingly charming jinwoo was: devastatingly handsome while being the star track runner for your university’s team, even if you had the courage to speak to him, there was no way in hell that he’d even remember such a closed off girl like you.

so, you did your best to avoid jinwoo’s line of sight, and it worked for the time being-

that is, until you ended up being in the same philosophy course with him. you had found that out when you had taken your seat in the back row, only to feel your heart physically drop when jinwoo entered the same classroom with a few of his friends.

you duck behind your philosophy textbook, mentally cursing yourself. you really didn’t want to be close to jinwoo, since you had no desire to even get a glimpse of his personality (fearing that you’ll end up yearning for him like the others did.) as you debated with yourself whether to switch out or not, in the end, you chose to stick around, realizing that you didn’t look pretty enough to capture his attention to begin with.

so, the semester was calm for the most part. your philosophy class only met every monday, wednesday, and friday, so it wasn’t like jinwoo would take notice of you during those class times. in fact, he seemed to enjoy talking with his friends, jinho and mincheol, the majority of the time. in a way, you were happy to be able to keep your peace.

that is until one day, you realize that jinwoo had forgotten one of his belongings in class. the sleek black phone was settled on his desk-

and you were the only one that was left behind.

you pace around the classroom, wondering how jinwoo could leave behind something so important like his phone! your eyes kept glancing at his phone, feeling like it was mocking you, since you weren’t cruel enough to leave it behind.

letting out a shuddering breath, you take jinwoo's phone and began your search for the star student, heading outside of the humanities building as you looked helplessly from side to side. despite not having a single clue where he would be, you find yourself walking towards the library. perhaps if you were lucky, you'd be able to find jinwoo studying somewhere.

you enter the library, the scent of printed paper bound into a variety of tomes filling your senses as you began your search for jinwoo. yet when you saw him settled on a table just a few feet away from the library's entrance-

you had a sneaking suspicion that he had been waiting for you.

with a shake of your head, you hold his phone in a tighter manner, walking up to jinwoo as you softly called out to him. "jinwoo?"

he was writing something in his notebook, with his gloved hand settled beside him. he sees your approaching figure and smiles, saying your name in such a gentle tone that it causes the heat to rise to your cheeks. you cough and quickly settle his phone next to him. "y-you left this behind in class."

a series of rich chuckles was heard coming from his parted lips, "is that so? my apologies for being so forgetful then." although he attempted to sound sincere, there was a subtle smirk that graces his features, letting you know that he had intentionally done this-

but for what reason, you couldn't say for sure.

taking a polite step back, you give jinwoo a stiff bow, "w-well, that's all i wanted to do. if you'll excuse me."

not even waiting for his reply, you turn yourself away from him, becoming dimly aware of the sounds of a chair moving as a warm grip felt on your wrist prevents you from moving forward. "wait." you heard his voice in your ear now, making you tremble as you tried to calm down your rapidly beating heart.

time felt like it had stood still when jinwoo slowly turns you around to face him, molten silver eyes drinking in your sheepish expression as he places the pad of his thumb on your bottom lip. you tremble at the sensation of his touch on your skin, feeling like your knees would give in any minute now from witnessing the smug expression on his stupidly handsome face.

"you're always trying to avoid me, it's cute, but at the same time..." jinwoo trails off, his hand now gripping at your chin so that you were fully looking at him, "it bothers me."

words failed you, with your mouth opening and closing as you struggled to find the right things to say. instead, jinwoo just smiles at you, hands caressing at your cheek before confessing to you, "the more you try to hide away from me, the more it fuels my need to chase after you. you're... so different from anyone else i've ever met. quiet, yet kind and beautiful."

your breath hitches in response to his words, earning another grin from jinwoo as he slowly frames at your face with his two hands, "i knew i had to trap you somehow, to get you to notice me... so... i took advantage of your kindness and left my phone behind, knowing that you'll return it back to me."

jinwoo continues to captivate you, and you felt your heart already becoming ensnared by his charm when he leans down to press a kiss against your lips. it was a chaste kiss, one that was no heavier than dew as you felt the sparks begin to fly from beneath your closed eyelids.

and when jinwoo takes a hold of your hand while settling your form next to him, interlocking his fingertips with yours, you knew that you could never get away from him-

not minding this fact one bit as jinwoo tied himself to your life.

end notes: a quick fluffshot for jinwoo before i post my next story

(⺣◡⺣)♡

all stories are written by rei; please do not repost, plagiarize, or translate my works!!

#sung jinwoo x reader #jinwoo sung x reader #sung jinwoo x you #jinwoo sung x you #sung jinwoo x y/n #jinwoo sung x y/n #solo leveling x reader #solo leveling fluff #sung jinwoo fluff #writings 📖

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hxlxnaaa · 2 months ago

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𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬

★ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: you're not just friends, but you're not more than that either. he's the epitome of unreadable and unavailable, leaving you confused, hurt, and lost.

★ 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫: xavier

★ 𝐜𝐰/𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: first person pov, really angsty, like REALLY angsty (i chose violence my bad), college au, situationship plot

★ 𝐰𝐜: 4.3k

★ 𝐚/𝐧: before i say anything im so sorry. like i was not expecting it to be this angsty but then it was and...well i couldn't stop it. i will for sure write a happy ending for this if someone would like that!! i think xavier would be a situationship final boss cause bro cannot manage his feelings. also can you tell i really like college au's... anyways, enjoy!!

His hands rest on the curve of my waist, firm and possessive, as if his fingers might weave through my ribs and anchor themselves there. His touch lingers with a quiet desperation, a reminder of everything we’ve shared. Once you’ve seen so much of someone, their fears, their desires, the way their eyes light up in the smallest moments—walking away feels like tearing apart something sacred, like committing a sin against the universe itself.

I stare at his sleeping face. I could protect him, my heart a sanctuary warm enough for him to find peace. He’d never have to wander again, never ever need to leave. The softness of his skin could soothe the ache buried deep within me, erasing the sickness with a quiet, tender touch.

He has my heart trapped like a bird.

Part of me wonders if he knows how he’s holding me, if he finds comfort within his slumber and dreams with my body pressed against his. Or if he’ll stir and realize, turning away and leaving me to stare at the muscles in his back that flex as he sleeps.

I trace circles onto his bicep, like the circles he runs around us.

I had met Xavier a little over a year ago, he was a friend of a friend, and we met at a small house party that a few mutuals of ours had thrown. He was like a star, shining so brightly in the room it drowned out everyone else. He was standing in a corner talking to Jeremiah, a good friend of mine that I shared some classes with. The way Xavier shyly smiled at me when Jeremiah introduced us made my heart feel like King Arthur’s sword, and someone had finally managed to capture it.

We talked the rest of the night, never leaving that spot in the corner. I paid no mind to anyone else I knew in that house, all that mattered was the beautiful cosmic boy I was encountering.

He found me again in the library a few weeks later, lightly tapping my shoulder and asking if he could study with me. Xavier was an astronomy major, ever so fitting for the star-boy who sparkled like constellations no matter where he went. The way his face lit up when asked about space was a vision I wanted to replay behind my eyelids every time I slept.

Xavier quickly became one of my best friends, and every second I spent with him was a second closer to my demise.

With him, I had tunnel vision. It didn’t matter how many guys my friends tried to set me up with, none of them were Xavier.

He was all I ever wanted.

I had never wanted anything as bad as I wanted Xavier. In my eyes he hung the moon and the stars. My love for him was an insatiable hunger that only he could cure; if he was Hades I would’ve taken that pomegranate from his tree, sacrificing my life to spend the rest of my time in hell just so I could spend eternity with him. I’d put myself on display for him so he can play God on judgement day, I’d let him carve his name into me so I’d remember what to say, I’d do anything he asked.

He’s the serpent and I’m Eve.

Xavier was hard to read, it was like trying to understand the plot of a book in pig latin. One moment he’s sitting so close to me I can smell his shampoo, looking me in my eyes and smiling so widely I thought his cheeks would hurt, as he twirls a strand of my hair around his finger. He’ll cut me off mid sentence and tell me I look beautiful, and watch me as if I’m a movie he’s been waiting years to see.

The next moment? I don’t see him for days; I don’t get texts, no photos and complaints about his astronomy homework, no little alien gifs, no hellos or goodbyes. He disappears without a trace, and the only proof I have that he ever existed is the ache in my heart when I realize he’s pulling away again.

I’ve never gotten anything I’ve ever wanted, but once, I got close. Xavier had showed up at my dorm on a storming Saturday night at 1 AM like a sopping wet dog in the hallway, his first appearance in a week. Slurring his speech, blubbering about how Jeremiah and their friends dragged him out to the bars.

“M’sorry I just showed up, I wanted to see you…Just see you…”

Drunk off his ass, the pity for him overcame my anger. I gave him a change of his own clothes, hoodies and sweatpants I had borrowed and never gave back, the only pieces I had of him when he would turn into a ghost again.

Xavier watched me as I maneuvered around the room, grabbing him a glass of water, his eyes bleary and lips mumbling breathless words I couldn’t catch.

“Hey.”

I turned to look at him, his cheeks and ears red from the alcohol. He was sprawled out on my bed shirtless after refusing the hoodie, declaring the room was too hot. Xavier gestured for me to come closer, and as I approached the bed, he yanked my wrist down causing me to collapse onto his bare chest. His half-lidded eyes scanned my face, hand snaking up my waist.

“Is this okay?” He said through breathless kisses on my shoulder. Holding my body very still, I thought if I moved I may wake up.

“Xavier, you’re drunk.” I whispered, my words betraying my thoughts. He stilled, and I internally punched myself. Pulling back far enough I could see his eyes again, he smiled and placed a kiss on my palm. I couldn’t help but smile back, as my heart lurched out of my chest and into his hands for good. Xavier slowly and awkwardly flipped me onto my back, stumbling a bit through his inebriation. He mumbled words of adoration, planting kisses that burned like the fire of a star all over my face and skin.

“Perfect… So perfect… You’re like Venus, so full of love… Beautiful girl…”

Xavier kissed me like I was broken and he was thread, trying to sew me back together. The moment was holy, his heart singing to mine like a psalm. I memorized the movement of his lips against mine, cherishing the taste of cheap beer on his tongue.

“I love you.”

He fell asleep next to me, as I stayed awake staring at the ceiling, wondering what this meant for us.

Nothing, I suppose.

Xavier never mentioned it, and I never felt the courage to bring it up. It was only a fleeting moment, but it stuck with me like a plague, hanging over my head. It left the soft moments with him more confusing, the compliments more intimate, the feelings more frustrating.

I stare at him asleep holding me, face gentle through dreams, and I want to cry. Falling asleep next to me was nothing new, crashing in my dorm after movie nights or study dates. ‘No it’s okay, don’t sleep on the floor. We can just share the bed.’

I am a ticking time bomb, and I’m going to explode.

My heart is trapped like a bird.

“Honestly, I really think you should just confront him,” Tara flips through the pages of her textbook, “it’s not getting you anywhere not knowing what he thinks.”

I throw my face in my hands, letting out a groan and tangling my fingers in my hair, “It’s not that easy. What am I gonna say? ‘Hey, we kissed once so what are we?’ Do you know how crazy that sounds!”

“You forgot the part, ‘you also spend the night in my bed a lot’ or, ‘you told me you loved me’.”

“Friends do and say stuff like that all the time!” Shuddering at the thought of rejection, I hold up a finger to silence Tara, “Plus I’m not sure I even want to know. I think staying in the dark is better for everyone.”

She rolls her eyes, slamming the textbook closed, “Right. Okay, fine, that’s fine. Just quit complaining, I’m gonna tear my hair out.” Walking over, she places a kiss to the top of my head, “You know I love you, but I’m gonna kill both of you if I have to hear about it one more time.”

Tara leaves for class, and I’m left alone in the library with my thoughts and an exam to study for. I feel the pads of Xavier’s fingertips against my skin leftover from last night, and the feeling of emptiness when I woke up and he was gone. No text saying he had left for class, just radio silence and his body imprinted in my sheets. It’s moments like this, when I’m convinced I’ve got him right outside my grasp, he’d fall back out of reach.

I’m about to put on my headphones and tune the world out, when I hear a man's voice.

“Are you studying for the exam?”

I look up, and I see the boy who sits next to me in my stats class, Rafayel. His hair is a mess, and his black sweater has a few paint stains on them. I assume he’s just come from the studio, as his satchel is hanging loosely over his shoulder, his portfolio book sticking out. Rafayel’s an art major and never fails to complain the whole time about how the class is required for him, but he’s ‘never even gonna use this stuff’.

I huff, staring at my laptop screen, “Yeah, trying to at least.”

Rafayel slips into the seat Tara was just in, throwing his satchel on the floor beside him, “Oh good, you can help me then!”

I'm grateful for the distraction, as Rafayel is a sweet guy and a good break from the chronic thoughts of Xavier. His glances at me in class while I try to work on a concept with him don’t go unnoticed, or the way he doodles me on the corner of his paper, flashing me a grin when I point to the drawings. He would be so perfect, the artsy goof who showers me in attention, clingy, comedic and kind;

But he’s not Xavier.

“How am I supposed to help you with this if you’re busy drawing?” I tap his sketchbook with my pen. Rafayel looks up from his work with a frown, “I’m getting bored!”

He snatches my pen from my hand to stop my tapping, “Hey, why don’t we go to the cafe for a quick break? My brain could use it.”

“You’ve been studying for fifteen minutes.”

“So? You’re supposed to take breaks after twenty minutes, it’s been like, scientifically proven or whatever.”

He stares at me with a big smile, and I know I can’t say no to him. Literally, I wouldn’t be allowed.

When we got to the cafe, the place was packed and I internally groaned. Looking around the bustling coffee shop, it was uncomfortable just how busy it was. Waiting in line practically squished next to Rafayel, I rested my head on his shoulder as I had done many times in class before. He draped his arm around my shoulder, going on about how one of his professors gave him a bad grade on a painting because he used the wrong shade of blue. I thought about how nice it would be to stand like this with Xavier, but I never felt as if I could get close enough to try.

Trying to shake off the thoughts about him, I thought about Rafayel’s arm around me. The way his finger would poke my shoulder as he talked to put emphasis on his words, or the way his bicep flexed on the back of my neck as he moved. It was comforting in a way, secure. It was protective. Safe.

“Oh my God, I hate that dude.” Rafayel scoffs, looking at a table in the corner. Following his eyes, I caught a glimpse of tousled platinum hair. Meeting his blue eyes, my breath hitched in my chest, body freezing against Rafayel. I couldn’t read a single ounce of emotion on his face, just feeling his stare bore into me.

My first instinct wanted to rip away from Rafayel, let Xavier know I was still his. Yet-

I’m not. I’m not his, and he’s not mine.

I remember the feeling of defeat this morning when I woke up, body tired from staying up and watching the rise and fall of his chest, mind exhausted from the push and pull, chasing after him and never quite catching up.

Leaning farther into the boy beside me, I look away from Xavier and look up at Rafayel.

After all, the key to moving on is finding someone new.

“Which one?” I ask him, not sure if he’s referring to anyone else at that table. It was a group of Xaviers friends, people I had met briefly.

“The blonde one, he’s in one of my gen ed classes and he’s a total prick.” Rafayel stares back at Xavier, and I try to avoid his piercing eyes, focusing on picking at a piece of lint on Rafayels sweater.

“Oh, yeah. I know him.” I don’t want him to be introduced to that part of my world. Rafayel is pure, untainted by the chaos. I didn’t want to drag him into the hurricane.

After that, I didn’t hear from Xavier for a while. Though his silence wasn’t uncommon, I couldn’t help but think this time it may have been provoked by the moment in the cafe. I saw him around campus a few times, in his usual spots, but when he’d notice me he’d just look away.

Saying it hurt would be an understatement.

I started seeing Rafayel more to fill the void that Xavier was leaving behind. Every tear Xavier had ripped into my heart and soul, Rafayel was taking bandaids and patching them up. While it was nice, it wasn’t a permanent solution to the wounds.

I felt guilty, like I was using him, doing the same thing to Rafayel that Xavier was doing to me. Though, despite whatever was happening, Rafayel was content. I don’t think he minded the situation I had imposed. From little dates to holding hands, to kisses on my cheek when he’d drop me off at my dorm, I was getting the attention I craved and Rafayel had someone to keep him company. It’s like we had this silent, mutual agreement that whatever was happening was okay, and this is all it had to be.

Rafayel never knew about Xavier, and I would never tell him.

The incident at the cafe was the first, but not the only time Xavier saw us together. Whether it was the library studying, or the student union building, Xavier would see us and almost always stare. Rafayel always had comments to make about it too, muttering things under his breath about him being a creepy stalker.

I was sitting on the floor of my dorm with Rafayel, scrolling aimlessly on my phone as he sketched the fake plants I had sitting on my desk. My phone started to blow up with everyone texting in our group chat, something about a party happening this weekend.

Tara: Please tell me you guys are gonna be there!

Jeremiah: i have to go, one of my friends is in the frat and he’ll kill me if i don’t

Tara: Okay that's 2 of us! Who else???

“Who’s texting you so much?” Rafayel says, clearly annoyed by my phone's insistent text tone going off.

“This group chat I’m in with my friends,” I sit my phone down, “there's a party this weekend and they’re trying to get everyone to go.”

“Are you going to?”

“I dunno, are you?”

Rafayel laughs, “You know better than anyone I couldn’t be caught dead at one of those.” He puts his sketchbook aside, grabbing my hand, “You should go though, you don’t really do much besides go to class and see me, and as much as I'm happy with the attention, this is a really sad look for you.”

I pull my hand away, offended, “I am not sad!”

“Then prove it, go to the party.”

“I’m pretty sure this is peer pressure, hazing even.”

“That’s most definitely not hazing.” Rafayel picks his sketchbook back up, going back to his drawing with a smug look on his face.

I text back in the groupchat, upset that I agree with Rafayel. Ever since I started hanging out with him and Xavier started giving me the full blown silent treatment, I haven’t really gone out much. I see Tara here and there for lunch or a quick study session, but it’s been a while since I’ve taken the time to do something fun.

Me: yea i’ll be there, lmk what time

Tara: OMG YAY!!!! I’ll send you the details

Xavier: I’ll see U guys there

Seeing Xavier text that he was going to be in attendance sent a lightning bolt of anxiety through my chest.

This was the longest we had gone without talking. Usually, his moments of silence only lasted a few weeks at most. With due time he’d come back with a post he sent or ask me to hang out, announcing his presence and waltzing back into my life; and I'd let him in.

Every. Single. Time.

The distance he created between us this time around made me anxious to face him the upcoming weekend. Would he say hi? Ask how I was? Would he look right through me like so many times before?

After Rafayel left, I sat in bed cocooned in one of Xavier's hoodies he had left behind, watching the stars through my window. I thought maybe, if I stared hard enough, they could make a constellation of his face.

Friday rolled around faster than I had hoped. Per Tara’s request, we showed up fashionably late, so the old beat up house was packed by the time we arrived. It was the first time in months I had put myself together, doing my hair and makeup. Taking a couple shots of whatever Tara had given me, I was feeling mildly prepared for the night ahead.

Walking in, my hand gripped hers tightly as she maneuvered gracefully through the crowd. Grabbing a drink from the makeshift bar, I cracked open the can and started chugging. I was going to need as much alcohol as I could to get me through this night. We found a couple girls that we knew, chatting loudly over the music, as I pounded back a few more drinks.

Before I knew it, the man I was dreading seeing the most appeared beside Tara with Jeremiah.

“Ladies!” Jeremiah shouted, wrapping his arms around Tara and I. Xavier’s eyes could have burned a hole through my skull with the intensity that he stared at me. Internally I was at war with myself, half wanting to shrink away because of how small his look made me feel, but also feeling powerful thanks to the liquor coursing through my veins and the hot outfit I had on.

One voice on my shoulder screamed, “Get out of here! Go home! Never show your face again!” While the other danced around, “You’re such a sexy bitch, show him what he’s missing!”

I chugged another drink.

“Wait- Tara, I want you to meet one of my friends, come with me.” Jeremiah gestured for Tara to follow him, and I flashed her a panicked look. She shrugged, squeezing my hand before following behind Jeremiah.

I stood alone with Xavier, the rest of the group disbursing where it just left us.

“I’m gonna get a drink, come on.”

I looked at him, “What?”

“I’m gonna go get a drink? Let's go.” He raised an eyebrow at me, like I asked a stupid question.

“Okay, but why do I have to come with you?”

“Because I’m not leaving you all by yourself-” Xavier pressed two fingers to his temple, “nevermind it’s fine I don’t need another one.”

“I was just asking-”

“Where’s your boyfriend?” He cut me off, his question catching me off guard.

“I’m sorry?”

“Are you having trouble understanding tonight or something? How much have you had to drink?” His words were venom, and I was appalled. Not once had he ever spoken to me this way, not even in arguments.

“I just don’t know who you’re fucking talking about, my bad.” I spat back at him.

“The guy who’s always up your ass, where is he tonight?”

I laughed, shocked, “You mean Rafayel? He is not my boyfriend.” I wasn’t sure if it was the liquor or his jealousy, but his attitude was a loaded gun.

“Well I couldn’t tell, seeing as how you both practically eye fuck wherever you go.”

Stunned, my jaw dropped. His eyes softened, and I could tell he knew he hit a nerve. With the blaring music in my ears, and the alcohol coursing through my veins, I was suddenly convinced that if I didn’t get out of that house I was going to fall apart to pieces.

“I don’t have to take this.” I shoved past him, pushing my way through the crowd and out the front door, until the cold air hit my face.

Xavier called out my name from behind, but I continued walking down the sidewalk. I wanted to be so far from that party, from him, that I thought I may just walk back to my hometown and away from this stupid place; to somewhere he didn’t exist anymore.

Calling my name again, he caught up, grabbing me by my shoulder. His face was switching through emotions every second, and I was getting whiplash.

“What the hell is your problem!” I shouted at him, tears threatening to spill, welling up in the corner of my eyes.

“Hey, wait-” His hand that was on my shoulder went to my cheek, and I jerked away.

“No, you don’t get to do that anymore, we’re done playing that game. I give up!”

“What are you talking about?”

“You- This, us! You kiss me, you tell me I’m beautiful, you tell me you love me, you sleep in my bed and I’m in your arms, then you don’t text me for weeks! You don’t acknowledge anything you do, and I don’t know what any of it means,” I don’t realize I’m crying until I taste the salt in my mouth, “You’re so confusing and I don’t know what’s happening, and it hurts so fucking bad and you don’t even care.”

Xavier stands there dumbfounded, my vision blurry and spinning. I think I might throw up, and I’m not sure if it’s from the situation or the liquor.

“Then you have the audacity to be mean to me over some guy that I’m friends with,” I start to sob, my voice becoming weak and small, “you don’t get to do that, you have no right.”

He doesn’t move, and I stop talking. The only sound between us is my quiet crying and hiccups, mixed with the faint music from the party down the block. He says my name, and I barely hear it over the roar of my own ears.

“You’re my best friend…” He whispers.

The words cut through me like a knife, and I think if I look down I’ll see I’ve been gutted. If you could die from a broken heart, I’d already be six feet under. I swallow thickly, and nod. His words were enough, it told me everything I needed to know.

“Can I walk you home?” He asks.

I shake my head.

I started walking down the sidewalk.

He didn't follow.

When he was out of sight, I sat down on the curb and broke down again. Everything I had felt over the past year of knowing him came out at once, my body ejecting all of it. I cursed him, his name, his future wife and family. I prayed that he was destined to stay up at night, regretting that the woman asleep next to him isn’t me. Distraught, because I believe I myself am cursed to love him forever.

I called Rafayel, and asked him to pick me up. I threw up in someone's yard before he did, and when I finally got back home I closed my curtains and locked my window, hiding under my blankets; convinced the stars in the sky were out to get me. I never wanted to see them again, I’d avoid going outside at night for eternity if it meant I never had to face a reminder of him and his devastating beauty.

The next morning, I blocked him.

Well, I blocked him on all social media, even the ones we didn’t use; but I didn’t block his number. For emergency purposes, I thought.

Or I guess for the slim chance he came back; haunted by regret, choking on apologies, and falling to his knees to plead for forgiveness. I told my friends I was finished with him, swore it with conviction, but I’m starting to think those words were as empty as his own promises.

I won't text him first, I’ll just wait.

I’d wait until he misses my laugh, the sound of my voice, or the songs I’d sing to him as he fell asleep, my fingers through his hair.

I won’t text him, but I won’t shut him out entirely. I’ll close the door behind me, but I won’t lock it, not completely. I won’t hand him the key, but maybe I’ll leave behind a clue, something subtle, something only he’d recognize. Just in case he decides to come back, he’ll know where to start searching, know there’s still a way in, even if I pretend there isn’t.

I’d keep the house behind the door clean, buy a welcome mat, and even build a porch.

Just in case;

But he never called.

(divider by cafekitsune)

#xavier x reader #xavier x you #xavier x y/n #love and deepspace xavier #xavier #l&ds xavier #lnds xavier #lads xavier #lads #lnds #lnds smut #lnds fluff #lnds angst #xavier love and deepspace #xavier fluff #xavier x mc #love and deepspace #xavier angst #xavier smut

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bbobpul · 1 year ago

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break my heart again 2 — njm

PAIRING. na jaemin x reader SUMMARY.how's jaemin gonna give back for all of y/n's efforts now that he finally can? it's been years—just how much has everything changed? GENRE. angst, fluff, she fell first 🤭 W/C. 3.5k NOTE. hello, part two is here! so sorry i couldn't make a taglist. i didn't have time to make one. nevertheless, i hope this fic make its way back to you. love u all and thankies sm !!!! also, my requests are open !!!

(⁠☉⁠｡⁠☉⁠)⁠!⁠→ my other works !!!!!! part one here!!

i find it hard to picture myself ever being as dedicated to something or someone again, just like how i dedicated my entire college life to na jaemin.

lately, i've been feeling like i forgot what it's like to actually have a dream. back then, na jaemin was my dream, he was my driving force. i would force myself to wake up so early in the morning just so i could see him (or his car) enter the gates of the university. i would go to school even though i am sick and feel a lot better when i get home because i saw na jaemin. but now two years after graduating, i still haven't found a decent job that i actually enjoy.

it's a common experience that many people go through, and i suppose i shouldn't complain about it. maybe i need to put in more effort and push myself harder. part of me wonders if having na jaemin back in my life would rekindle that same sense of dedication that i once had. but as i say these thoughts out loud, they sound absurd, even to myself. why would i wish for my first love to return just so i could find a decent job? why would i long for na jaemin to come back merely to feel that spark in my life again? it's puzzling why i'm even dwelling on thoughts of him and wondering if he holds the key to my happiness and success.

oh, to dream.

oh, for that old dedication to still burn within you.

if only you hadn't acted so dumb that day. could life have taken a different path? are you even happy now? if you hadn't let fear hold you back back then, if you'd actually been brave enough to listen and follow through, would you be happier today?

but no matter how much you keep bothering yourself with that memory, if people come up to you and ask if you feel bad about everything that happened that day, you'd say no. you don't feel bad at all.

deciding to let him go was one of the best things you did. he seemed happy when you left, and after that, you never heard anything about him. he's like a touchy subject in your group of friends, which can be tough sometimes since you share friends. but does it really matter now? him not being in your life probably means he's happier and more peaceful, right?

are you feeling peaceful? is being stuck in a 9-5 job that hardly brought you joy a happy situation? scratch that. did being in that job make you happy? clearly not, as you've just mustered the bravery to quit. and in doing so, you've never felt more joyful.

did you really make the right decision?

just as you were pondering your own question, your phone buzzed on the bedside table. you grabbed it and saw that the caller was renjun, your incredibly patient best friend.

"y/n," he said, his tone becoming unusually serious. "what's up?" you asked. "do you need money?" "yeah?" "here's the deal: our college is putting together a documentary film, and they've chosen your department. but guess what? your old classmates are bombarding me with messages because it looks like you're ignoring them all. frankly, i can't believe you even answered my call," he griped. "wait, hold on. what film? and why would they pick me? are they searching for someone with a post-college life so sad that it belongs in a documentary?" "well, you were practically a legend back in college, so… and apparently, the director specifically wants you, which leads to… well, another issue…" "what's the problem now?" "it's going to be directed by jaemin."

and just like that, you ended the call. but a few seconds later, renjun's call came in again.

"i'm not going to do it." "you stubborn brat." "why him?" "i have no idea!" "why is he even directing? wasn't he studying architecture or something?" "i don't know, y/n. i haven't heard a single thing about him since your graduation." "what do you mean?" "that's not important now, y/n. you're in need of money, right? seize the opportunity. do it for the cash." “so will you do it or will you do it?” “for the cash.”

...

"y/n, you've moved on, haven't you? what's done is done. i'm pretty sure jaemin has forgotten all about it. this chance is coming your way, so just accept it." "i guess i will."

you're drawn in by the idea of making some extra money and the possibility of catching the eye of potential agents or employers. right now, you're at a crossroads, thinking about how this documentary could be a stepping stone to more job opportunities down the line. this situation is different from what usually drives you – this time, it's not about others, it's about focusing on your own goals and aspirations.

you're deliberately avoiding dwelling on your past. just as renjun mentioned, you've moved beyond it. what's done is done. right now, your focus is firmly on the present and the potential that lies ahead in the future.

what's in the past is behind us, including whatever existed between jaemin and you.

from renjun

tomorrow at lunchtime, they'll be going over the schedules and discussing what to film. if you want, you can chat with the director now. his number is 0825 813 2000.

in response, you simply replied with a "okay."

the night before the lunch meeting, a jumble of emotions has you in its grip. the idea of reconnecting with jaemin, who used to be your best friend and is now someone distant, fills you with a sense of awkwardness. you tell yourself that this is about working together and the chance to grow professionally.

after taking a deep breath, you decide to shoot jaemin a text. your fingers hesitate as you type, and the uncertainty you're feeling seems to seep into your message. you finally press send, and your text reads, "hey, it's y/n. heard we're meeting tomorrow for the documentary. just wanted to check in before that."

in almost no time, your phone buzzes with a response: "hey y/n, good to hear from you. yeah, looking forward to our meeting. let's catch up and chat about the project."

the conversation is polite, but beneath the surface, there's an unspoken layer of complexity. you can feel the hesitation in your exchange, a silent recognition of the shared history that's now a distant memory. as you talk about the meeting and the documentary, the easy flow you once had is noticeably absent.

as the texts go back and forth, a sense of tension seems to hang in the air. it's as though the years of friendship you once had are casting a shadow over your conversation. the effortless connection you once shared now requires effort, and both of you can sense the change.

as the conversation wraps up with a simple "see you tomorrow," you're left with a mix of excitement and anxiety. the idea of seeing jaemin again, especially in a professional context, stirs up a range of emotions. this situation is a stark reminder of just how much things have changed – and maybe how some things can't go back to the way they were.

you believed the conversation had concluded, only for your phone to ring once more, bearing yet another message from him. as you read the words on the screen, "i missed you, y/n," a rush of emotions floods over you.

"what's going on with him?" you mutter to yourself, your eyebrows knitting together in confusion. your gaze remains fixed on the message for a moment, your attention drawn to the three blinking dots in the corner – a sign that he's in the process of typing a response. several more seconds tick by, the dots eventually vanishing, and in response, you shut your phone off. you make an attempt to settle into bed and get some rest, but truth be told, it's hard to claim you managed to sleep soundly that night. an undercurrent of thoughts and emotions keeps your mind restless.

the day of lunch lunch finally arrived. you sat across from jaemin, his words forming a distant hum as your thoughts remained clouded and preoccupied. the lingering impact of his recent message kept you in a state of unease, making it difficult to fully engage in the conversation he was leading.

then, something inside you snapped, and you found yourself abruptly interrupting him with a question that had been gnawing at you, "why me?"

he looked at you, his gaze steady, and his response was quick, "why not you?"

your frustration simmered as his words hit you. he was choosing to be cryptic, and it was only adding to your confusion. pushing past your exasperation, you pressed on, "listen, i know we didn't part on the best terms, but why come back now and act like everything's fine? i mean, sure, it's better than hostility, but why choose me? i'm the one who's no longer part of your life."

his expression remained neutral, void of any emotions as he replied, "that's not true."

you raised an eyebrow, challenging him to elaborate. "what's not true?"

"that you have nothing to do with my life, y/n," he stated firmly.

the weight of his words settled heavily between you two, the gravity of the situation growing more apparent. the lunch table had transformed into an arena for confronting unresolved issues.

you scoffed, unable to hold back your disbelief. "jaemin, i made one mistake, and now you're trying to imply that my actions shaped your entire life?"

his eyes held yours, unwavering. "y/n, it's not just about that one mistake. everything that followed, everything that shaped who i am today… it's all connected to you."

your mind reeled, trying to grasp the enormity of what he was suggesting. the complexities of your shared history seemed to crash over you, leaving you grappling with a whirlwind of emotions and a tangled web of unspoken feelings.

the weight of his words left you momentarily speechless, and in an attempt to shift away from the intensity, you sought to change the subject. "where are the other producers? why is it just you here?"

"y/n…" he began, his tone suggesting he wanted to continue the previous conversation.

however, you opted to sidestep the discussion entirely. you pretended as if the profound exchange hadn't just occurred. "i notice you're taking on the role of a director now. quite the career shift, huh?" you inquired, masking your internal turmoil with a casual demeanor. you acted as if there hadn't been a two-year gap in your connection, as though things between you were perfectly ordinary.

he met your gaze, a faint hint of something unreadable in his eyes. "i pursued another dream when i felt i'd lost the chance for my first one."

"your first dream… not architecture, then?" you prodded, curious about the direction he had taken.

he shook his head, a soft chuckle escaping him, leaving you puzzled yet again. "no, not architecture. well, i suppose that just wasn't meant for me back then, but maybe it is now."

the cryptic nature of his response only added to the layers of confusion and intrigue that surrounded him. there was something about the way he spoke that hinted at deeper currents beneath the surface, emotions and experiences that he hadn't fully revealed. you found yourself torn between the desire to push for answers and the instinct to allow him his privacy. the lunch meeting had transformed into a stage for untangling not just the complexities of the documentary but also the intricate web of emotions and history between you and jaemin.

leaving the restaurant, a whirlwind of unanswered questions dances in your mind. yet, for now, you choose to tuck those thoughts away, focusing instead on the looming filming date just a few days away – next saturday.

in the span of time between that lunch and the upcoming shoot, jaemin proves consistent in his attempts to bridge the gap between you two. he regularly reaches out, updating you about his day and proposing get-togethers, which you consistently decline.

the days pass, marked by a series of messages and missed opportunities. despite the undeniable tension, there's an undeniable persistence on jaemin's part, a determined effort to reconnect and reestablish a sense of familiarity. however, your apprehensions and the memories of your past dynamics hold you back, keeping you from embracing his overtures.

as the countdown to the filming day continues, you find yourself in a delicate dance – balancing the unresolved history between you and the prospects of the future. the lines between your personal and professional lives are blurred, and the documentary project becomes a backdrop against which the intricacies of your relationship with jaemin play out.

you find yourself constantly pondering what his intentions could be. his actions leave you wondering, and you can't help but question what he's aiming for. in your perspective, you're merely a negative aspect of his life – a streak of misfortune. you would have expected him to have learned from the past, but his determination remains unshakeable.

as you contemplate these thoughts, your phone lights up once more, bearing yet another message from him. his name on the screen triggers a whirlwind of emotions – a mixture of uncertainty, annoyance, and a hint of curiosity. opening the message, you brace yourself for whatever he might convey this time. the consistency in his attempts at communication only serves to deepen the intricate web of emotions you hold for him, leaving you caught between your shared history and the unpredictability of the present.

"the offer's still there, y/n. :)" "jaemin, let's be real. just because i'm on board with your documentary idea doesn't mean we're suddenly best buds again. a lot has changed." "i want to reconnect, though." "actually, scratch that. i want to get to know you all over again." "jaemin, i appreciate the effort, but let's keep things professional, okay?" “i’m sorry, y/n. goodnight.”

after your straightforward message, his responses ceased. a silence settled in, stretching on until saturday – the day you were set to see him again. the anticipation and uncertainty had been building, and now the moment was finally at hand.

you stepped into the studio and immediately noticed that you and jaemin were the only ones present. your confusion must have been evident on your face, prompting him to address the situation promptly.

"um, the team thought having fewer people in the room would create a more personal atmosphere," he began, his voice carrying a hint of unease. "and, well, they decided to keep me here, you know, being the director and all, and also because we have a history…"

his words trailed off, and there was a subtle vulnerability in his tone. it was as if he was acknowledging the intricacies of your past connection, while simultaneously recognizing the complexities it introduced into your current dynamic. the studio, usually a place of creativity and collaboration, had transformed into a space laden with the weight of your shared history.

"it's okay," you responded, your words carrying a touch of reassurance. as your reply registered, a faint smile tugged at the corners of his lips – a detail you couldn't help but notice. after all, it was that very smile that had ignited four years of your life, a smile that held memories and emotions you had both shared.

"um, i'll just ask you a few questions, and then you're free to go," he stated, his voice carrying a hint of nervousness that didn't escape your notice. this new facet of his demeanor felt unfamiliar to you, a departure from the confident jaemin you had known.

you found yourself disliking this uneasiness, and a thought occurred to you – maybe it was time to rekindle something within him. as he began asking you questions, you decided to respond in a way that would evoke a certain familiarity between you two. it was a subtle attempt to bridge the gap, to draw out the person you once knew.

you had believed that his silence was what you wanted. you had convinced yourself that distancing yourself from him would protect you from the past mistakes. but now, facing the reality of the situation, you realized that perhaps a certain selfishness was ingrained within you. maybe, just maybe, you yearned to erase the distance, to defy your own rationalizations.

in this moment, you found yourself yearning to rekindle what had been lost, to bring back a connection that once meant so much. the conflicting emotions within you painted a complex picture of your desires – a battle between self-preservation and the longing for something more.

however, as you locked eyes with him and saw the lack of any discernible emotion in his gaze, a haunting wave of fear resurfaced within you. in that moment, it was as if time rewound, taking you back to the day of your graduation when your heart and spirit had felt shattered. the memory of that painful experience rushed back, accompanied by the doubts and uncertainties that had plagued you.

if you were to truly confront your own feelings, you'd admit that what you witnessed that night had left you questioning your own worth. the events had stirred up doubts about whether you had ever been deserving of taking risks for, whether you had ever been someone worth fighting for.

"hey, good morning, y/n."

"morning, director."

"how's today treating you?"

"pretty good, thanks."

"hmm, and what's life been like after college?"

"…"

"take your time."

"at first, i felt okay. my friends were all getting closer to their dreams, and i was genuinely happy for them. especially…"

"especially who?"

"especially the person i left behind."

"…"

"i was content being happy for someone else. then another year went by, and i wasn't feeling so great anymore."

"do you really think they're happy?"

"hmm?"

"the person you left behind."

"yeah. and my other friends seem happy too. they've got jobs they love, they're with people they care about, and i only had… renjun *laughs* … but sometimes, i can't help but feel like i'm the one who got left behind, you know? even though i was the one who walked away."

"let's talk about your person."

"oh *laughs* he's not my person."

pausing for a moment, you glanced at jaemin behind the camera. the question lingered in your mind: what was he trying to do? his actions and intentions remained a puzzle.

his expression grew serious, his gaze fixed intently on you. it was as if he had something to convey, something he was holding back.

"the last time i actually saw him was in an instagram post. he was with some girl. it happened on my graduation day. i waited the whole day, hoping he'd appear in the midst of the crowd. when he didn't, i held onto the possibility of seeing him by the gates. but that didn't happen either. my last hope was maybe he'd send me a single message, but by the end of the day, nothing came. then i went on instagram and saw a photo – a warning, i guess. a warning that i should just stop hoping. that… happened a few weeks later, i think. or maybe it was just a few days after our argument, the one where he told me he couldn't love… yeah."

you met his gaze and once again, his face was serious. his eyes were furrowed and his mouth was slightly open. a few moments passed, and he let out a shaky breath. screw it, you thought, it's out there now and i don't care anymore.

your silent exchange was interrupted as he shifted the camera away. confusion clouded your thoughts as you watched him move. he turned back to you, his expression still serious, and then he grabbed a chair from the nearby table. he sat down with his back facing you.

the room felt charged with unspoken emotions, leaving you to question his intentions and actions. it was as if he was peeling away layers, searching for something beneath the surface.

"did you know that…" he began, his voice breaking the silence. "she was his sister?"

"i never told you about her, that's on me," he admitted with a chuckle. "that was her last day, y/n. so i decided to spend the entire day with her. i'm sorry."

you were taken aback. "i'm sorry–"

"it's okay, y/n."

"i know i left you with so many questions that night, but let me tell you… every effort you made, every cookie you baked, i cherished all of it. i loved you. i'm sorry if my actions made you doubt yourself."

another pause filled the air.

"i left when you left."

"you were my dream. architecture wasn't really my passion, you know? i was struggling a lot, but luckily, you were there with me. i decided to chase after what i truly loved when you left, because i realized if i wanted you back in my life, it should be when i'm at my best, right? i wasn't lying when i said i couldn't love. i didn't want to love you when i was broken. i wanted to be the best version of myself for you. i thought that if i wanted you to be with the best person, then that should be me. so i became that person, a director, and then i planned all of this." his eyes finally met yours.

"i was always looking at you."

tears welled up in your eyes, and he seemed to notice. he took a step towards you and enveloped you in his arms.

"i'm sorry for not holding onto you back then, baby. but i promise, i won't let go of you now," he whispered.

"i'm sorry for leaving, jaemin," you sobbed.

"shh, you did what you thought was right."

"do you want to have lunch with me now?" he asked.

a mixture of emotions flooded your heart, and with a nod, you replied, "yes, jaemin."

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gadriezmannsgirl · 2 years ago

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Not Like Others -P.G (2)

Not me ending this as soon as I got home and did all my homework a bit rushed at 1:35am knowing I had to wake up early today✌🏻😌✨😁 But still I fell asleep with my phone in hand, so I didn't posted it on the time I had finished😭🥴 and now I'm off of work and decided to take a little breather from Uni work. Anyways... I hope you enjoy it! Please, let me know what you think of this! And I want to hear/read you guys out, what do you think it'll happen in the series?!

|Chapter I| |Chapter III|

Summary: When you get the chance of meeting Pablo Gavi, you don't seem to react as the rest of people would do and that attracts him to you

Two Weeks Later

Being the new girl was absolutely awful, everyone is looking at you, talking, whispering about you, judging the way your looks without getting to know anything from you first. You hated it and you hated being in the spotlight.

You had a week going at the Universitat de Barcelona and you were still pretty much alone since no one has got closer to you for anything. You now remember why you hated the thought of moving to a new country, this was exactly what you imaginated and exactly what you disliked.

Walking into the cafeteria, everyone turned to look at you once more, you sighed grabbing your lunch and going towards the table that was in the back, ready to eat. Have you said you hated being in this kind of spotlight?

Because you had done a revalidation and equivalence of your recent college studies in Canada for the transfer, you were now in your third semester (two semesters behind of what you actually were), where the UB had been the first one interested in you and opened their doors, accepting you into their university family. You were currently sat at one of the tables eating your lunch and enjoying some words of Colleen Hoover “Regretting You” when two girls and three boys stood in front of you

"¿Les puedo ayudar en algo?" (Can I help you with anything?) You said

"Yes, ¿Podemos sentarnos contigo?" (Can we sit with you?) The red haired girl said with a small smile

"Hemos estado queriendo acercarnos desde que llegaste pero no sabíamos como" (We've been wanting get closer to you ever since you came here but we didn't know how) The sunkissed skin boy said showing his dimples as you nod witth a light smile

"Sure" You made space for them to fill the table

"Anastasia Rodríguez but everyone calls me Ana" A dark haired girl with glasses said

"I'm Olivia Montero" The red haired girl said doing a peace sign with her fingers

"Jonathan Ontero" A blonde guy smiled

"Eric Wolf" A dark haired boy with deep blue eyes said

"Antonio Figueroa" The sunkissed boy said

"Nice to meet you guys, I'm Y/N Santos" You smiled softly

"Have you got any other friends? What do you think of the Uni?" Jonathan asked as you shake your head laughing

"You guys are the first ones to come by" You admit shyly "And it's huge, I keep on getting lost" They laugh "but it's really pretty"

"Is that why you came late to Paint II?" You nod shyly

"I think the professor doesn't like me though, he keeps on putting this bitchy face whenever I appear on his vision" They laugh

"No, that's his face. I promise" Eric chuckled as you nod laughing quietly

"I'm sorry if this may sound a bit out of place, but it's so cool and at the same time so weird to have a Canadian between us"

"I'm not" You shook your head "I'm Spaniard"

"You're even cooler then!" Ana exclaimed making a few heads come to where you were sitting, Jonathan sushed her as she softly pushed her finger up to her lip in a quiet motion. You couldn't help but laugh

"Lo siento" You said as they waved you off with a smile.

They kept on talking and it was safe to say you liked them, they were really funny. You don’t know how or when but after the lunch they had spent the rest of the day with you. Anastasia claiming you as one of them now, you smiled and accepted. You had enjoyed the day with their jokes, occurrences and got a hold of the whole system at college because of them.

They reminded you a little bit of your old friend group but instead of being five (six including you), your old group consisted of four, two and two. However these guys were chattier than ever and you loved that too seeing that you also loved to talk.

“Oh, Y/N! One of my friends is doing this party this Saturday, you should come!” Jonathan said as you all were meeting after the last class of the day.

"Party?" You ask "It's their birthday?" He shook his head

"More like a celebration" He added "He's in a team and wants to do a celebration for this big win" You nod processing

“Oh gosh! Yes, that’s such a good idea! You can socialize more, get to know people and even Barcelona!” Olivia said as you shook your head lightly

"I don't know" You said doubtly "I know nobody in there and I'm sure you guys will do your thing" You waved your hands around "The last thing I want is one of you stop spending a good time to practically babysit me and no, señor. That's not happening" You shook your head and also shook your finger side to side as they all smiled

"You're cute if you think we won't spend THE greatest time over there" You smiled blushing lightly at Eric

"Also, you're cute thinking we'll give up on the first try" Ana wrapped her arm around your shoulder "You just have to wait, you'll be crazy for the party"

And three days later you were tired of waiting. The persuasive method of these guys was extremely annoying and you were already guessing the words that could come out of their mouths, each one, taking turns on who was the one speaking next.

You could even say you had dreamed with the: 'You have/gotta/should come to my/Jonathan's friend party! It'll be awesome and we'll all be there, pretty please' words.

And when Antonio opened his mouth you instantly shushed him off.

"I'll be there" You said to him as he smiled nodding fist bumping the air

"I knew it!" He exclaimed a little bit too loud

"If you already knew the various artistic movements, Mr. Figueroa, I ask you to come up here and explain some of them" Miss Alba, the professor of Modern Art, told him in a monotone voice and her facial expression was up in interest as everyone turned around to look at you both. You looked down in shame and blushed hard as Antonio stuttered

"I-I...mmm"

"The most seen, used and that we can qualify as importants are cubism, futurism, surrealism, impressionism, expressionism, art brut and a few more" You spoke up with determination, you had already seen this curse back in Canada and you had nailed every test, quiz, popquiz, presentation and essays.

"Well done, señorita Santos. Now, señor Figueroa, le aconsejo que preste un poco más de atención a la clase y deje de hablar con Y/N, entendemos que es una chica muy bonita, inteligente y es nueva aquí, pero por favor, para los chats existen las horas de descanso" (Mr. Figueroa, I suggest you to pay a little more of attention to the class and stop talking with Y/N, we understand she's pretty, smart and new girl here, but, please, you can do that bit of chatting on your resting times) If you had blushed you were now rainbow coloured, Antonio had murmured a quiet "Sure, professor" and sank back on his seat as you heard the laughs of the whole class came in embarrassing the two of you

"Happy?" You whisper ask "You embarrassed us!"

"No, I embarrassed myself. You saved your ass answering to that question" He said with a light smile on

You shook your head and smiled lightly

"Good thing is" Antonio said softly leaning over you "... You'll go to the party" You smile nodding

"You did it, guys. I'm going to the damn party" He fist bumped the air again

"¡Joder que si!" He says as you sush him once more

"Stop that!"

...

You wonder how you got in this position.

Antonio said he was going to give you the lift but his car suddenly broke down and he was coming later because of it. Jonathan and Ana were already there since the evening helping Jonathan's friend out, Olivia was going with her boyfriend and he was driving her. And Eric had a last minute issue with his grandmother so he couldn't go, nothing too big though.

You didn't trusted going in cabs alone, you never liked it, ever since you were little and saw that a man had kidnapped a woman like that you had hated it, and on really weird ocassions you were going into one but you always had to be on the phine with someone or messaging.

Your parents were busy at the traffic and you were stuck, you thought of pulling out from the party but you also hated it, giving your word and then not fulfilling in what you said.

So, with a call to your mom letting her know you'll go there walking and a google map direction from Jonathan you decided to grab your keys and walked all the way there. It was 4:30pm so the sun was still visible and when you realized the walk was 25 minutes away, it got better and didn't think to much of it.

But how the hell did you decided to get to the party on foot was the best option if you only had two weeks and three days moved in the Catalan streets?

...Guess who ended up lost?

You sighed once more, the map only confusing you even more, you were supposed to be at El Camino street but you saw around you and you were at the Las Palmas street. You sighed in defeat.

"I'll die today" You murmured sighing

You tried to go up to people and ask them directions but you were either too shy or they didn't stopped not even to give you the time.

You were about to call desperate to any of the guys or even your parents to take you either back home or towards the party when you saw three boys across you eating a cup of ice cream.

This was your chance to get all sorted out and hopefully go to the right way towards the house.

"Hola" You touched one of the guys shoulder when he turned around his expression was full on scrunched up, it seemed like he was bothered by your presence and you smiled at him "Lamento molestarles" (Sorry to bother you, guys) You said softly to direct yourself towards the guy who's shoulder you touched and face was scrunched up "¿Quería preguntarte si tu podrías...?" (I wanted to ask you if you could...?) He cut you off harshly

"No estoy disponible para fotos o autógrafos ahorita, lo siento. Estoy con mis amigos en una salida y queremos pasarla bien" (I'm not up for pics or autographs right now, sorry. I'm with my friends and we just wanna have a great time) He said and you furrowed your eyebrows before laughing lightly

"¿Okay? Eso está perfecto. I wanted to-" (That's perfect)

"Please, no autographs nor pics"

"¿Autógrafos? ¿Fotos? I'm sorry, who do you think you are?" (Autographs? Pics?) You asked laughing lightly

"Like you don't know who I am" He said not believing it

"I don't know actually! Are you that important for me to ask for a pic or something?" He stood there without saying anything

"I don't believe it. Just go please, I'm not in the mood right now" He said and you sighed shaking your head

"Ay, hermano. ¿Sabes? Olvídalo. Was going to ask you to give me this address because I'm new here and most likely, lost; but nevermind" (Oh, bro. You know what? Just forget it) You shook your head watching his face fall a bit once you showed him your phone with Google maps on "Gracias de todas maneras" (Thank you either way) You said "Lamento arruinarles la tarde" (Sorry to ruin your evening) You said once more before turning around

"Oye, no. Lo siento, déjame-" This time you cut him off by showing your palm

"Don't worry, have a nice day" You smiled politely "Try not to be an arrogant asshole next time, maybe" You left them hearing the calls from the guy but you didn't paid attention to him too busy looking at your phone trying to guess if it's right or left

"Hola" Someone said behind you, you turned around seeing one of the guys that were along with the arrogant brunette "Disculpa a mi amigo. Es un poco quisquilloso" (Hi. Excuse my friend. He's a little peaky)

"Un poco arrogante, diría yo" (A little arrogant, I'd say) He laughed nodding

"Only sometimes" You hummed

"That's not nice at all, then" You say crossing your arms across your chest "So...?" You ask hinting on him to tell you the reason why he had come up to you

"I'm willing to help you out find the address" He said and you nodded taking out your phone, showing it to him "You're close, five minutes away tops"

"Really?" You ask impressed watching as he laughs nodding

"This is Las Palmas street, the next one is El Camino. It says here you take a turn on the left and at the end of the street there's this residence, it's in there" He smiles as you nod smiling too

"Okay okay, cool. Thank you so much. I'm sorry for ruining your evening"

"You didn't ruined anything in fact, I'm sorry for Gavi's behaviour" You smile shaking your head

"Is he really known? Or he was just taking the piss out of me?" The guy stays quiet for a bit as you shook your head "Well, nevermind... Just tell him to come down from that cloud of his, please. Arrogancy doesn't look nice at all" You said as he nods pointing gunfingers at you

"Got it" He smiled "I'm Diego, by the way. I hope Barcelona is of your liking"

"Thanks, it's really gorgeous... I just have to learn the streets" He laughed as you smiled waving at him "Gotta go, bye! And thanks once again"

"No problem at all!" That's the last thing you heard from the guy before you're walking away.

As you followed instructions from him, you indeed realized you were a block away from El Camino street, you smiled once you saw the big white house as Jonathan had described. You texted him letting him know you were outside, music was being heard from the inside and you smiled grew when you saw Jonathan came out opening the door for you.

"Y/N! I'm glad you are here!"

"I know, I'm glad too! I came here walking and got 'lost' and then there were these guys, one of them was an incredible hijo e'puta but the other helped me out"

"First going out, first party, first fight, first lost and first almost everything today... Checked from the list" You smiled shaking your head "C'mon, let's introduce you to Alejandro, my childhood best friend" Once you got inside, Jonathan's eyes were dancing across the people inside here "¡Balde!" He yelled across the upbeat song "There he is"

You walked next to him until you stopped in front of two guys who were talking and laughing in their world

"Guys! This is Y/N, the newest member into the Uni club" All four guys smiled

"Soy Alejandro" A black skin boy said hugging and giving you two kisses as you did the same "Alejandro Balde, es un placer conocerte. And this is a friend of mine, Ferran Torres"

You greeted the short haired boy just like you did with Alejandro

"¡Bienvenida a Barcelona!" Ferran said as you smile

"¡Gracias!"

"Y/N, mi casa, tú casa" Alejandro said "The kitchen is over there with the drinks and food, the backyard" He was pointing to everywhere he talked "And if you need the bathrooms, let me know, going to the downstairs bath in a party is a bit awful" You laugh nodding and agreeing with him

"¡Gracias!" You said once more

"Don't worry, hope you have a nice time!"

Yeah. You hoped that too.

After a long while drinking some Coca-Cola, dancing, eating a few snacks and overall having a nice time with your friends and Jonathan's buddies, you all sat down outside to enjoy the starry night

"Oh! I just remembered!" You said "Jonathan told me you guys were doing some celebration. I really don't know what you guys have achieved but congratulations" Ferran, Alejandro, Eric and Pablo Torre laughed lightly

"We're football players"

"That's nice!" You open your eyes lightly "And what did you guys won?"

"La Supercopa España" Pablo said as if nothing and you nodded once again "We're first team players"

"Really?"

"You don't watch football?" You shook your head a bit ashamed

"I don't really like it that much" They faked hurt "Sorry!" You all laugh "I rather hockey tho"

"Nice sport" You nod

"It truly is" You smile remembering your team "And which club you guys are in?"

"FC Barcelona" You smile got bigger.

Yes, you didn't liked football but that doesn't meant you don't know the game or the different leagues of it and Barça was a really good and skilled team. You knew your rookies about it, not many but enough to defend yourself.

"Really cool" You said "Well, then... Congratulations on the win guys"

"Gracias" Ferran said "Let me just say... Having us a friends, you'll end up falling in love with football"

"And most important, terminarás siendo una Culé" (You'll end up being a Culé) You shook your head smiling softly

"I don't think so... Gotta stay loyal to my hockey and my Mapple Leafs" They laugh

"Nah, ya verás" (you'll see) Alejandro said shaking his head

"Lo veré" (I'll see) you all laughed

"Let's see that now, then. We'll be waiting for you" Ale said

"Waiting for me when and where?" You asked

"You're invited to the next game at Camp Nou, Y/N" Torre said as you nod

That sounds good... I mean, what could possibly happen? It's just a game with your new friends.

"Deal"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld @anastasia-nova @pixwls @footballerficsposts @dessxoxsworld @berriesarenice @chaotic-taco-collector-blog @mystic-aquarius @bisexualbith @sideeblogsstuff @http-isabela

I'm doing a taglist for Not Like Others, if you want to be there, comment a little "NLO taglist, please" and I will know that you wanna be included in it and you will be. Like I said in the beggining, I truly hope you guys like it, let me know what you think. Please, feedback is really important to me because it lets me know you like my works, it helps me with writing and makes me feel nice knowing all the effort I put in these little stories is worth it. With this being said, I read you guys, take care!

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jtl-fics · 2 years ago

Note

Coffee shop au + FF

We’ve discussed him as a customer but what’s he like as an employee?

Fluent Freshman AU | Unusual Fic Asks - Closed

FF spent his college years at Palmetto State University tormented by baristas who must have hated him to his very core because in the 5 years of his degree they never once got his order right.

So, FF opened Secret Ingredient with the intention of getting people's orders CORRECT. FF kept any number of alternative sweeteners, dairy alternatives, and whatever else he needed so he could hand off every drink with a clear conscience.

He mastered the art of different coffees and his grandmother's recipes even if he would never have the full flavor profile since he lacked the secret ingredient of a Grandmother's love.

FF was living a good life. He was making good money and his passion for foreign languages had never died he had, with this coffee shop in mind, changed his degree to business management. If nothing else his foreign language skills made him a hit with the international students.

He just never expected his ability to cater to anyone would result in his little shop becoming the campus darling. His days started early and ran late but it was nice to have so many students come to his coffee shop.

His pastries almost never lasted beyond noon but when he spoke with one of his favorite customers, a marketing student by the name of Nicky, he waved him off the idea of making more.

"Supply and Demand. Keep them wanting more." Nicky said even as FF always kept Nicky's usual chocolate croissant order behind the counter so he could get it after his Exy practice. Nicky was older than the standard student but the two of them had become fast friends.

Such good friends that FF didn't bat an eye when he got a long text from Nicky as he was getting everything set upright at the start of the day requesting a whole slew of orders including one of the most complicated sugary drinks that he had ever seen. Nicky had sent along 20 'pls' and begging emojis afterwards and FF was powerless to do anything but say yes.

He started the drip brew for the one Red Eye and then got to the pour over for the Americano and the straight black. He made Nicky's traditional Mocha with the little bittersweet chocolate chips that he knew Nicky adored. Then he got started on a drink that would take his sizeable working knowledge to put together.

It took 5 minutes to craft the monstrosity and the baked goods that Nicky had requested were done just as he saw his friend rushing up to the closed door. He walked over and let Nicky in even if it was an hour before the official shop opening. "We got drunk in the dorm last night and I broke the coffee machine. My cousin was going to actually crazy murder me if I couldn't get them all their coffees. You are a literal life saver Smithy!" Nicky exclaims and kisses him wetly on the cheek and FF could still smell the alcohol on him.

"Glad to help." he says because he is, "celebrating that great win last night?" he asks.

Nicky nods, "That we were! I'll stop by later to chat more but I gotta get these to their owners before Andrew puts a hit out on me." he says rushing away.

FF continued to get himself ready for the day. Saturdays were actually one of her slower days since there were less people on the campus and it didn't draw people out the way Sunday did with 'I need to do my homework for Monday' energy.

He opened the shop and enjoyed his slow and easy morning with regulars and new faces.

His peaceful morning came to an end when the star goalie of Palmetto State's Exy team came in holding the plastic cup he had given to Nicky nearly three hours prior. "You made this?" he asks holding up the cup as he pushed past a regular who was trying decide if they wanted a Flat White or a Café Au Lait.

FF takes a deep breath.

"Yes that was me. Was there a problem?" he asks.

"Make it again." Nicky's cousin says.

So there was a problem with it. He opens his mouth to ask what the issue was but Nicky's cousin's face made it clear that he was not accepting any questions at this time.

So with shaking hands he remade Nicky's cousin's drink. Quadruple checking that everything was in there this time but it felt the exact same as last time.

He handed the man his drink as the other regular was now contemplating that maybe she wanted a Machiato instead, seemingly unaware of her proximity to danger.

Nicky's cousin put the cost of the drink on the counter and was gone before FF could ask about the drink. He felt his heart hammering in his chest wondering what he had messed up and hoping that Nicky's cousin didn't come back even angrier.

"I know this is a big ask but," the customer who had been contemplating which combination of coffee / espresso with steamed milk she wanted leaned in, "Any chance you have whiskey back there? I'm kind of feeling like a good Irish coffee." she says with a mischievous wink.

Oh he had alcohol back here, he lived above his coffee shop but he would be needing all of it for himself.

#Fluent Freshman AU #FF Coffee Shop AU #I know literally nothing about coffee #you don't know how much googling I had to do so if it's wrong I'm sorrrryyyyy #My caffeine intake is all cherry coke based #And sorry if I have betrayed the true spirit #of the coffee shop AU #Not really my jam but I respect the classics #But I think one person would get pissy with him and FF would just leave his body #Just catatonic for the rest of the day #So I needed to give him stakes to not just quit #So he owns the shop #Yes Andrew came back in because it was the most perfect drink he'd ever had #He plans on being a regular now #FF is the only person to actually perfectly make his drink #Everyone else tries to 'balance' it #Andrew ain't in the mood for none of that shit #AFTG AU #AFTG OC

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thebanaltongue · 2 months ago

Text

As we enter into 2025, it's time for a look back and reflection.

Personal thoughts/diary below the break.

I have, for the most part, let go of the past relationships that got me here. That there was never, and likely will never be, any kind of closure is something that took awhile for me to settle with, but acceptance of that fact has brought a certain sense of peace even still.

The decade following my graduation from University until my husband and I moved out of Cincinnati marked the darkest point of my life. Most of my friends from college either moved away or settled in Columbus which was a couple hours from Cincinnati, and of course there were jobs and children and families starting which meant staying in contact with people was much harder.

I ended up fairly isolated, and subjected to what I can only describe as extreme emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of my SIL and her wife. It's much easier to recognize now, with time and distance (and a lot of therapy), but when I was in it, it was much harder to see, much less escape from.

What complicated matters even more was that I honestly believed R was my best friend. We talked every day, I shared everything with her. And she, of course, knew her wife didn't like me. Confirmed that J was difficult, acknowledged that she could be a bully, then assured me that it wasn't personal. Later on, she would admit to me that J was, in fact, abusive in every possible way to her.

This is the part that I have struggled with the most and that I come back to more often then I care to admit. That gives me the biggest struggle when it comes to just letting go of the past and moving on with my life.

False abuse claims are incredibly rare. And it's been well confirmed that J is an abusive person; I was subjected to it for years, and TJ dealt with it growing up. J has said to me more than once, and in the company TJ, and even in front of our therapist that she would intentionally do things that she knew would upset me because it made her feel "vindicated" because she didn't like me and that meant she was "winning". She wanted to elicit a rise out of me, in order to make me seem like the unstable one. People like that need you to be the bad guy, after all.

After telling me this, she would then accuse me of "always assuming the worst" about her, and of course R would agree that it wasn't fair that I assumed such things, gently pacifying me that it was crazy to think J was just out to get me constantly.

It's very easy to look back now and see how sinister that was. At the time, I was so deep into gaslight hell that I couldn't see it. I thought I was crazy, I really thought maybe I was over-reacting, maybe it was me.

This is just one example. I suffered for 10 years of this kind of mental mind-game with J and R. My own behavior became increasingly erratic and unstable. I'm not proud of a lot of my behavior, my actions, during this time. Looking back, I don't even recognize that person, and the cognitive dissidence has been insane to try to reconcile who I was under that level of abuse, with who I am now that I'm out of it.

I know J use to be pretty physically violent with TJ. They have a ton of stories of being pushed down the stairs, having mean pranks pulled on them, their childhood house had holes all throughout it by J's temper. I once witnessed her take her plate of food and smash it over TJ's head, then throw them up against the wall by the throat. I can't remember what incurred her anger that time but I was only 15 when it happened and I still remember how badly I was shaking just being present for it. Again, this is just one example.

So when R told me that J was abusive to her, I don't think it's surprising at all that I believed her. Unfortunately for R, this confession came hand in hand with the admittance that she had feelings for me and wanted us to be together. This was not the first time R had confessed to having feelings for me - she'd done it in high-school, and again during college when she wrote me a love letter when she was already dating J. I think she'd hoped I would tell her that she should have left J and that we could be together.

I didn't. Instead I turned down her advances and said that if things with J were as bad as she said they were, that she should make an exit strategy and leave her. And if she wasn't ready for that yet, that she should get them into couples counseling asap. She didn't do either of these things. After I turned her down, she started to distance herself from me.

Later, she would say she wanted to see us because her mother was in a terrible car accident. When we went to see her after two years of no contact, she changed her story and to say that she made up the entire thing about J's abuse, that they didn't have any relationship problems, and she blamed me for pressuring her into "telling me what she thought I wanted to hear". Then asked if we could start inviting her to group things again, clean slate. TJ and I stuck to the boundary we had originally set: if either of them want to have any kind of relationship with either of us, then attending a family therapist was a must. J had agreed - to this day, R has refused.

And yet, in spite of everything, this is the part of my past that I dwell on the most. Was R really that conniving, that sinister, that level of unhinged that she would create a false abuse claim? Was she intentionally acting as a master manipulator for whatever reason? Or is she a true victim of abuse and her actions as a flying monkey just a symptom of that? Should I have done more to get her out of an unsafe situation? Tried harder to reach her and pull her out with me?

At the end of things, I have no answers; there is no closure for this. There is something obviously, deeply damaged and hurt within her; whether it's abuse or some type of Cluster B personality disorder or something else entirely. But I'll never know, I'll never have those answers. I can only hope she's getting the help - in whatever form - she needs.

I can hope she's safe.

#me #my life #on closure and the lack of it #personal #kind of wish I could be like “I don't need to talk to you”#But send up a smoke signal or something if you're okay #wishing people the best when they wish me the worst IG #reflecting on things for the new year #Maybe now that I've put the proverbial pen to paper and it's out it'll be better #letting go #seeking inner peace #moving on and healing

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tired-and-triggered · 2 months ago

Text

TW: Vent Post ⚠️

Unfortunately, I'm back again with a heavy heart. To be honest, I don't even know where to begin. I felt like I should upload a rant/vent post before 2024 ends to release all the horrible, conflicting thoughts that have been wreaking havoc in my brain for the past few months. After all, Tumblr is the only safe space that I have, where I can rant in peace without people judging me.

In retrospect, 2024 was a shitty, shitty year. I probably wouldn't call it the worst year of my life so far, (because, let's face it, I feel like saying that EVERY SINGLE year) but it did fuck me up pretty badly. I was a slightly "better" person in 2023- physically, mentally and emotionally. But nothing could have prepared me for what 2024 had in store for me.

Let's take it from the top. December 2023 was amazing- I had a lot of fun with 2 of my friends from school at my annual school fest, Anandamela (it was supposed to be the 4 of us, but one friend couldn't make it) and a few weeks later, my cousins came over to visit and we spent Christmas together. January 2024 rolled around. It seemed endless, tbh. In February, I had my end-semester final exams, which ended in early March. My classes for the next Semester began almost immediately afterwards. I received the results for the previous exam on the last day of April. This is where things started going downhill. My results were horrifying, to say the least. My only consolation was that I had managed to pass and didn't have to repeat the previous semester. 🤞🤞 But that was also the day I cried for, like, half an hour because of my grades. And I had NEVER done this before. I'm not saying I've never underperformed on a test, but my scores never broke me like this. However, I figured out that I wasn't the only one in my class whose scores were absolute trash. The ENTIRE DEPARTMENT had tanked in that exam. But the exam itself was relatively easy and we were confident that we'd do well. This seemed really fishy. We tried to talk to our professors about this, but they gave us the same old bullshit about how this was our fault and there was nothing they could do. We had no choice but to submit our answer scripts for a review. (That was a whole other fiasco which I will talk about later.)

I was invited to a friend's birthday party on 1st May, but the last thing I wanted to do was show my face in front of a horde of people who had no idea about my agony. Not even 24 hours had passed after the grades calamity, and now I was forced to act all jolly and cheerful for 4-5 hours. There was exactly one other friend who could sympathize with me- she studies in a different college affiliated to the same university, so she, too, had received her results on 30th April. I'm grateful she was there for me, but it still feels so surreal. Imagine breaking down crying one day and being forced to attend a party and act "happy" the next, before you could even recover. Little did I know that history would repeat itself only a few months later. 🙂

On 1st June, I voted for the first time ever! The Lok Sabha General Elections had started from April, and I was hella excited to vote and hit a significant milestone in my life. In late June, I went out to have dinner with my mom, on my birthday, and intentionally excluded my dad. And I'm proud of this, btw. I've had a lukewarm relationship with my dad since childhood, and he has a consistent habit of being obnoxious towards me and mistreating me in the days leading up to my birthday. He has been doing this for as long as I can remember, but this year was the last straw. I was sick of his shit and decided to end it, once and for all. He took the hint FOR ONCE and didn't bother me on my special day. Yay. 🤍

2024 started getting genuinely dark and traumatizing from August. On 9th August, a young PG trainee doctor was raped and murdered IN HER WORKPLACE, RG Kar Hospital in West Bengal. She was on duty (she had a night shift) and had decided to take a short nap in a seminar room of the hospital. Sadly, India witnesses hundreds of horrendous rape cases every year, but this incident was exceptionally nauseating- apparently, she was killed and mutilated first and then her corpse was violated. This inspired a nationwide socio-political turmoil- protest rallies, political demonstrations, candlelight vigils were held, and people relentlessly pressurized the godforsaken state government to conduct a swift, transparent investigation. The Chief Minister of West Bengal (who's a disgrace in the name of Indian women) tried her best to cover up the incident, tamper with evidence, hide the actual criminals and harass protestors. But the people kept raging against her for months. As of now, the actual rapists and murderers are still unidentified and the filthy bastards who were detained have been released due to lack of evidence against them.

September was somewhat uneventful. October, though, was the month that made me contemplate suicide. On 1st October, the results of yet another end-semester final exam were declared, and I was relieved to see that I had managed to redeem myself, in a way. This time, my scores had improved slightly. Thank fuck. This feeling of bliss didn't last long, though. On 16th October, Liam Payne tragically passed away after falling from the third-floor balcony of a hotel in Argentina. (Can't believe I actually typed that sentence.) He was only 31. He was just a boy. More than two months have passed since his death, but it still doesn't feel real. I simply couldn't comprehend the news when I first heard it, and I don't think I ever will. I've been a Directioner since 2012-13, and I still adore them and find comfort in their music. This is the first time I'm writing about this. And it still feels like a cruel joke. Something inside me died that day. It's like he took a part of me along with him. I'll never be the same. Y'all know what's worse than experiencing someone's death? Not getting enough time to mourn them. I couldn't even grieve Liam properly, because on 18th October I had to leave for a family trip. Remember when I mentioned history would repeat itself a few months later? This was it. For the second time in 2024, I wished I was dead instead of pretending to enjoy myself in front of others.

November was worse, somehow. Trump won the presidential elections in the USA. To this day, I have no idea how people let that happen, especially after surviving his presidency in 2016-2020. God only knows what atrocities he'll commit, starting next year. In late November, the review result for that one exam was declared, and NOBODY'S score was changed. Can y'all believe that? The uni just stole our money and scammed all of us. And then, a few weeks later, around mid-December, we were informed the next end-semester final exams would be held in January 2025. :)

PS: I won't be tagging this post. I don't want this to breach containment.

So here I am, grinding and studying for my exams because I have no other choice- devoid of happiness, hope and determination. I don't know how 2025 will treat me, and that scares me more than anything. People love to say "The only way out is through" and I HATE that shit SO MUCH. It doesn't have to be like this. It could be so much better. But let's see how 2025 goes. That's all I can say. 😕

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lavynrose · 3 years ago

Text

"stop staring at me to distract me."

"oh, i'm not staring at you to distract you."

Pairing/s: Marius Von Hagen X Reader

Genre: College AU

Warnings: none

Notes: alrightyyy let me drop this before sleeping, i need to practice writing without getting too into it that it becomes a longfic🤒 enemies to lovers got me in a vice grip sjsksk. prompt from this list

as for the requests, i'll answer them soon! reblogs are appreciated <3

They say that the library is the best place to do brain gymnastics, and get the best out of your mind's concentration because of the silence and the quaint ambience it gives off.

So why.

Why does your braincells feel like evaporating right now?

The library that was once filled with peaceful silence just 30 minutes ago is now a rippling crash of waves in your eardrums as the presence across from you on the table keeps pesking your precious study time.

You're not sure what's causing the aggravating pounding in your head anymore: the 5 page essay that you need to turn over in less than an hour, or the absolute menace to your finals project in the flesh that is Marius Von Hagen.

Even the sharp librarian couldn't seem to tell that he was being a bother.

Of course they won't notice. The little devil isn't being loud after all, he's pestering you in his own way.

"Stop staring at me, idiot," you chewed a little too harshly on your pen, the anger boiling inside you directed at the poor object.

"Don't. Wanna." He flashed you a coy smile, "you look so pretty all focused like that I can't help but stare." He cooed with a kissy face.

You grimaced internally.

Oh, you could throw a book at him right now.

You know better than that of course.

Marius is a competition to you, and you to him. Of course the first thing that's gonna come to your mind when he's being like this is that he wants you to fail.

Ever since the start of your college life you were doomed to fight at the top ranks against the one and only, the heir and the king, Marius. You would always wrestle each other using intelligence and now that the semester is coming to an end, the result of your hardwork is going to be revealed soon.

That's why you absolutely can't let this happen!

"Don't make me repeat myself," You inhaled a deep breath in an attempt to not snap in the very place you swore was the epitome of peace and quiet.

You pointed at him, "Stop staring at me to distract me!" You half screamed, half whispered, your eyes darting to glance on the librarian.

"Oh," he smirked, and before you could move, he leaned to you from across the table, he placed his hands to tip on your chin. You sat there, unmoving.

"I'm not staring at you to distract you, sweetheart." His amethyst eyes bore onto yours, strange softness filling them.

You were taken aback by his sudden shift of tone from teasing to tenderness, you swatted his hand away.

You weren't going to give in to his charms just like that, "Don't give me that," you snarled.

"Do you see this essay?" you turned your laptop around to give him a better view of the paragraphs that mentally tortured you these past few hours.

"I'm sure you've already done this, and I'm sure you know that this is worth 30% of our grades this semester so please," you massaged your temples as hard as you could, "stop trying to fail me, Marius. I can't believe you're resorting to this sort of tactic." You slammed your head to the table.

Before you could rant and rant about how this essay could literally be the verdict for your future, you heard Marius snicker.

"High grades aren't what you need right now," he winked at you, "you need sleep, babe."

You convinced yourself that the heat rushing to your cheeks right now isn't caused by whatever he just called you, but rather, caused by anger, "What? I had enough sleep," you cleared your throat, "thank you."

Lies. You barely got any wink of sleep this week because of the various events you needed to organize and participate in, as one of the university's top students.

He looked at you blankly, "Then, pray-tell, I want you to recall when's the deadline of this project."

Your brain buzzed as your sleeped deprived brain desperately search for answers, "In an hour?" you weren't so sure right now, your eyes looking anywhere but him.

His eyes gazed over you with concern, unbeknowst to you.

"The deadline's next week." He declared as he showed you the professor's memo that you misunderstood, "My, my, you should take better care of yourself." he shook his head.

You on the other hand, gaped and spluttered incoherent words, mentally slapping yourself for mixing the dates up.

For once, you admitted he was right. You needed sleep.

He grinned, "Like I said, I'm not trying to distract - or as you put it," he rolled his eyes, "fail you or whatever."

He sent you a smile so full of what seemed like fondness, "You're the best college rival I could ever ask for. You test my limits, you know? Bring the best in me."

You widened your eyes as you process his words. Is he for real? You narrowed your eyes, he doesn't look like he's lying, the usual teasing tone is completely gone.

He suddenly looked so enchanting, basked in the library's soft light.

"I won't let you fail if I can help it. I would even help you," He stood up, and he stretched his right hand to reach out to you, "Please take a rest, you deserve it for your hard work." you saw the warmest smile you've ever seen him show you, and you don't know what to feel about it.

"You.." You started, wanting to ask him why he was staring so shamelessly at you, but drowsiness took over your brain now that you know you have no deadlines to worry about at the moment.

Instead, you took his warm hand, clasping it in yours, "Let's take you home." He announced, eyes filled with delight and you find yourself wanting those eyes to stare at you again.

do not repost © lavynrose 08/19/21

#tears of themis x reader #tears of themis #marius von hagen x reader #marius x reader #tears of themis imagines #marius von hagen #tears of themis oneshots #lu jinghe #lu jinghe x reader #tot x reader

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soleilsuhh · 4 years ago

Text

— soon the cold night falls.

plot. when you went to doyoung’s place to study, you didn’t expect to end up staying the night and sleeping on the same bed.

pairing. doyoung x gender neutral! reader.

genre. college!au. fluff. suggestive. pining. good ol’ sharing-a-bed trope.

word count. 1.8k words.

you had been falling behind in maths, which was why you asked doyoung to help you study. although you didn’t have the same major, you knew he was more than proficient in the subject. he had eventually agreed to help but not without calling you an idiot first. this was how you found yourself in his rented studio apartment where he lived off-campus, about fifteen minutes from the university.

suddenly, you felt a hard but painless tap on your hand.

"are you listening?" he demanded, the look on his face is evident that he already knew the answer. he sighed, "pay attention, y/n, this topic is important."

"it seems like even you can't make maths interesting,"

he shot you a look at which you responded immediately by raising your palms up slightly in surrender, topped by a cheeky grin. you tried your best to focus as he continued with the explanation but by the time he reached to the next page, your thoughts began to drift away from the formulas and to the fact that the two of you were alone.

it wasn't as if this was the first time you had been alone with him in a room; you weren't sure why you were feeling jittery and why your foot was bouncing of its own accord under the table.

"—will you stop zoning out!"

his raised voice and the sound of frustrated slam of pen on the table startled you, effectively pulling you away from your thoughts.

surprisingly, the rest of the tutoring session went by smoothly. but it seemed like at some point while studying for what felt like forever, you fell asleep. when you woke up, you were pleasantly surprised to feel a jacket wrapped securely around you, and that its owner was also asleep in front of you, using his own arm as a pillow. his face was serene, the soft breathing making the world outside seem to stand still.

you grabbed your phone, trying to ignore the odd feeling in your heart. looking at the screen, you jumped, nearly causing the jacket to fall off your shoulders. it was already midnight, and you were still at his apartment. you reached over to shake doyoung awake, and as he rubbed his eyes, you showed him the lit-up screen.

he momentarily froze in his movements. "huh." he looked at you, "sorry, i didn't mean to fall asleep; i was planning to wake you up before your dorm curfew," he paused and after a moment, he said: “do you want to stay here tonight?”

your heart involuntarily beat faster at that and you brushed it off. it was probably a good idea; you were already an hour past the curfew. you said ‘okay,’ before calling your roommate to inform them. they sounded sleepy but nonetheless, relieved to hear from you. as you talked on the phone, doyoung walked over to his dresser and your gaze lingered after him.

“catch,” he said, throwing a simple tee and sweatpants at your direction just as you hung up.

you caught them clumsily.

“thought they might be more comfortable than your jeans, but you don’t have to change if you don’t want to,”

you smiled at him, “thank you,” you brought the clothes closer to get the whiff of fresh scent, “they smell really nice,”

he scoffed but not unkindly.

as you shuffled towards the bathroom to change, he began to put away the books on the table. when you came out, the table was cleared, everything neatly stacked and an extra bedding was spread out on the floor along with a pillow.

"you take the bed," he said, gesturing towards it.

you blinked at him for a moment then delcared, "hell no, this is your place anyway; i can sleep on the floor,"

"exactly, this is my place, so i make the rules," he said, "take the bed,"

you refused to move, not giving in but also uncertain about what to say. this was such a conflicting situation you were in; why did you care that much if he slept on the floor? why were your eyes so fixated on the fact that there was no extra blanket for him? what was this clenching feeling in your stomach?

"the bed is big enough for two people..." you awkwardly suggested. "i mean it's not like we've never shared a bed before,"

it's true; you had taken so many naps together - that was back in primary and middle school, yes, and things might not be the same anymore.

you could have sworn that you saw doyoung's movements stop after hearing your suggestion but he continued whatever he was doing on his phone. his lack of response was a clear enough answer for you.

"um, fine then," you said with a hint of despondency.

"i guess we can keep a pillow between us," his voice came. "i don't have an extra blanket too, anyway and it gets cold at night," he paused a brief second and lifted his head to look at you, "are you sure you're okay with sharing a bed?"

you nodded, a little too eagerly, a little too fast, "yeah, i'm okay with it! sounds good!"

the two of you remained motionless on the bed. it was awkward. you couldn't tell if he felt the same or if he was already asleep. he was lying still on his back, eyes closed and face relaxed.

you tried not to move too much, but you couldn't help yourself from restlessly tossing and turning, pulling the cover that you were sharing slightly closer to your body. he was right; the night was really cold.

suddenly, you felt a hand on yours, not grabbing it, just resting there and applying enough pressure to get your attention. you noticed how warm his hand was and you cherished it.

"y/n," his voice was soothing in the quietness of the night, "stop moving so much,"

you stopped and his touch, warm and gentle, lingered before he completely retreated his hand.

after a moment, you lifted your head slightly, "doyoung?"

"hmm?"

"i'm cold,"

he eventually opened his eyes and got out of bed with a sigh; he headed towards his dresser, the path dimly lit by the moon and then he came back with a hoodie which he tossed at you. "here,"

you mumbled a 'thank-you' as you put it on, feeling both thankful yet also...disappointed. you weren't sure why though. what exactly were you expecting anyway?

once again, both of you lied down on your backs, neither moving; his eyes closed, and yours wide open. minutes passed before you began to feel restless again. somehow, your mind wouldn't stop thinking about how warm his hand was and how yours was itching to be held again.

you turned your body to completely face him as you edged closer to the pillow barrier between you two. "doyoung?" you tried.

you waited a few seconds.

"what?"

"i'm still cold,"

you waited a few seconds. a few more. and a few more.

you were certain you wouldn’t get a response anymore. he was probably tired and dying to get some sleep. and he already gave you a hoodie; what more could he do for you?

sleepless, you found yourself distracted by how pretty he looked in the pale moonlight that came through the window. you noticed an eyelash on his cheek and tentatively, you reached over to gently brush it away. you were tempted to wake him so that he can make a wish but that probably wasn't a good idea. despite how warm his hand was, his face was cool under your touch, his skin so soft that you found yourself lightly trailing a finger along his features; first his cheekbone, then his nose, and when your finger reached his lip, his breath deepened and his eyelids moved albeit still closed. you stopped dead.

you weren't sure whether knowing that he was awake made you feel more nervous or more delighted. perhaps both.

your fingertips lingered on his skin, waiting for him to stop you but he didn't. you felt compelled to continue and that’s what you did; your fingers began moving again, trailing over the shape of his lips. with each passing second, your movements gained more sense of ease and certainty as your feathery touch brushed along his jawline, creeping down his neck, and then his collarbone.

you watched, marvelled as his breath hitched softly.

your fingers edged up his neck again.

and his hand grabbed your wrist. there it was. that warm touch of his.

he opened his eyes and your gazes locked.

the look on his face was unreadable and it made you all the more nervous and excited. the eye-contact broke only when you gulped, trying to shove the nerves down, and his eyes followed the movement on your neck.

“you said you’re cold?”

you nodded.

letting go of your wrist, his eyes met yours again. “turn around.”

you looked at him uncertainly, suddenly feeling a tingling sensation in your fingertips and toes. “why?”

he gave you a small, reassuring smile, and his hand reached out to trace along your jaw and down your neck, the maneuver emulating yours earlier.

“you’ll see,”

you shifted your position and turned until you were facing the other way. behind you, you felt the pillow between you two being lifted and placed on the other side of the bed. soon after, doyoung wrapped his arms around yours, pulling the covers over your bodies and holding you close. back pressed against his chest, you entwined your arm with his and laced your fingers together.

the two of you stayed like that for a while, still and quiet.

it was him who broke the silence, “how about now?” he said, “are you still cold?”

you smiled, “no, this is really nice,”

“good.”

it was a little awkward and stiff at first. but after a while, it became peaceful as you both slowly relaxed and allowed yourselves to melt into the warm embrace. your breathing slowed down and your heart stopped racing. the steady rise and fall of his chest was so comforting and you found yourself snuggling closer against his chest and into his arms.

“honestly,” you began, voice quiet but light-hearted, “i was kind of thinking about something else when you told me to turn around,”

he hummed amusedly and let out a chuckle. then he leaned forward to hover his lips over your ear, “i know what you were thinking,” his voice was barely above a whisper and held a tone of refrained laughter.

you shivered but eventually bursted out laughing, and he promptly joined, unable to contain it in him any longer. the laughter in the stillness of the night was heavenly. doyoung muffled himself by burying his face in your neck to stop himself from laughing too loud for the sake of the neighbors, but that only caused you to laugh louder and harder because of the tickling sensation. in spite of himself, he managed to whisper soft ‘shh’s and gently covered your mouth with his hand from behind.

even as you both tried to calm yourselves down, you broke into fits of soft giggles every now and then. doyoung tried to sound annoyed as he told you to go to sleep but he couldn’t stop smiling.

you sighed, happy and content but also sad because you knew this moment would eventually pass, “i don’t want this to end,”

“don’t be silly,”

silence filled the room for a while.

“you can come sleep over whenever you want,” he said, hugging you closer, his voice soft and unwavering.

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a-snow-decahedron · 3 years ago

Note

If you're still doing the character stuff, could you do 4?

Of course I am! You guys are spoiling me with these heheheh, I'm glad to share. (lol i wrote this sentence in september sorry for taking too long i hope you like this)

Number 4 is Asriel, and for the sake of this essay, i will not focus too much on the Flowey side of things. (He's got a different number assigned heehee)

So, having cleared that up, let's begin!

Warnings for... implied child death? it's not too explicit but yeah, I prefer to be safe.

Azzy, huh. He is such an enigmatic kid. Asriel is probably the most influential character in the Undertale universe (and perhaps in the Deltarune one as well!).

Asriel is honestly one of those characters that is... difficult to talk about, sometimes. He's Chara's brother. He's Kris's brother. He's a prince. He's a regular guy in college. He's dead. He's just living outside of town. And yet we only meet him in brief instances.

Asriel is Not There, yet he's everywhere and tons of things wouldn't be able to be explained without him. Why did Asgore declare war to humans? Because they killed his son. Why did Chara live with the Dreemurrs? Because Asriel found them. Who broke the barrier? Asriel and every other soul in the Underground combined.

And yet when we meet him he's, not himself, or a god created by SOUL power, or a little boy who wants to let the others be free, even though he doesn't wanna let go.

I think that he is a good kid at heart, and I'll never NOT be moved whenever I listen to his story. The conversation when he breaks the barrier. The hug! And the one conversation you can have during the epilogue are all deeply touching.

He's a wise boy. I'm very sorry he had to learn things the hard way, and had to go back to a world shaped by his actions. But talking to him always felt like closure. Frisk is the only one who can listen to his full story, who he can be honest with. He finally gets the chance to look back, and see the good and the bad as it is. It's very important to me that he doesn't regret what he did, despite the consequences. In the end, there are things he can't change. But it was his choice, and he could see that the boy who made that choice was himself, despite everything. The boy that cries when his dad is hurt, who becomes best friend and family with the first human he ever meets. The boy who refused to use force to get his way.

I'm... honestly glad he got to find some peace. He got the last chance to be himself fully and took it to free himself from regret, in a way. We couldn't "save him", but he got what he needed.

I'm intrigued about Deltarune Asriel. He seems like a good guy too, even if we don't know him. It's possible he's changed a lot over the years, and it would be very interesting to see just who he is when he gets the chance to live. I want to see more sides of him, let him be great, and flawed.

But well we'll have to see!

If you liked reading this feel free to check out my other (disorganized) thoughts or request another number.

. 1 | Amalgamates | 3

. you're here! | 5 | 6

. 7 | Requested | Mettaton

. 10 | 11 | Papyrus

. Sans | Requested | 15

#geometric thoughts #analysis #asriel #undertale #safeutdr #asriel dreemurr #fran rants

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jjmaybanksbaby · 4 years ago

Text

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron series #obx netflix #obx #obx fanfic #where it leads series #where it leads

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spir1tfar3r · 4 years ago

Text

Eighteen

Summary: Having pretty strict parents, you decided you’ve had enough. So you did something you’d never thought you’d do, you moved in with your best friend Rintarou Suna to piss them off. But you didn’t realize he was developing feelings for you.

Warnings: terribly written angst, underage drinking. I think that’s it?

Words: 1650

a/n: This is a repost from my old account

Masterlist | Haikyuu server | Ao3

18, crazy. Pulled up in your daddy's car. You wanna move in with me. Guess we're off to a heavy start

Suna couldn’t believe it. You, his best friend, stood at his door at 11 pm, asking to move in with him. You visiting would never bother him but you had never come this late within the day. He even noticed that you weren’t in the car he grew familiar with. Clearly meaning your parents had gotten upset with you and took your car, that you bought yourself, away again.

“You want to do what?” He asked, his voice a bit raspy from being woken up. Suna didn’t really wait for you to answer, moving away from the door and allowing you to step inside with your bag and closing the door behind you.

“I.. want to move in. Just for awhile. It’s mainly just to piss my parents off because I’m tired of them being so fucking strict all the time.” You sounded so unbelievably causal about this whole situation, Suna could’ve sworn you’ve done this before.

“So… you came to me why?” He asked, leading you to the spare bedroom. You had a tendency of staying in there whenever you two hung out, always worried about bothering him if you stayed in his room. He never minded. Why would he? You were his best friend and he’d do anything for you. And you knew that too well.

“Because you’re my best friend and I didn’t really have anyone else. My dad doesn’t like any of my friends.” You replied, setting your things onto the bed as Suna carefully leaned into the doorframe. He watched you curiously, not sure why this would have anything to do with him. They hated him the most from what you’ve told him.

‘Oh’ he thought. Finally realizing you were trying to make them super pissed off with you.

He didn’t care though. He would always jokingly kiss your cheek to piss them off himself. But he wasn’t sure if you moving in was the smartest idea. Sensing some hesitation, you turned towards him. “Suna please? I promise it won’t be temporary. Just for a few months”

It’s like you knew what you did to him. He sighed, way too tired to argue with you. “Yeah fine. I’m going to bed.” He muttered, turning and leaving the room to give you privacy and get some rest. This was going to a rough couple of months.

****************************

If long hair and tattoos are what attract you baby then you’re in luck

“Are you sure getting a tattoo is smart?” Suna asked as you looked through a book full of tattoos. You didn't answer however, humming in response to his question.

He knew what you meant so he sighed, feeling a little uneasy about it. Suna had gotten a few tattoos at this point but your parents refused to let you even think about getting one. After a couple of minutes you set down the book and turned towards him. He raised an eyebrow, already having a bad feeling when he saw the look in your eyes.

“Can we get a matching tattoo? I want a small volleyball but I’m kind of nervous to get one alone.” You felt bad asking him to get a matching tattoo, knowing that it would suck having if you two ever stopped being friends. Suna however didn’t really look bothered by it. In fact he nodded to your idea.

“May as well. I was getting another tattoo anyway.” He replied and you smiled, giving him a brief hug before you both were called to get your tattoos.

“Suna look!! They’re so cute!!” You said, showing him the little volleyball that was on the inside of your wrist. He laughed, never seeing someone that excited about getting their tattoo and you could feel the butterflies in your stomach.

“Congratulations on getting your first tattoo. You better let me pick your next one.” Suna said as he paid for the tattoos. You smiled as he took your hand and led you out of the tattoo parlor.

******************************

Suna realized he was in love with you in the third week of you living with him. He had come home from volleyball practice and saw you asleep at the table, your homework around you. Normally he’d wake you up and make fun of you for falling asleep but tonight was different.

You looked so peaceful and he couldn't think about waking you up. He gently put his bag onto the ground by the door, taking off his shoes in the process. He tried his hardest to make sure to close the door as quietly as possible but the soft click stirred you awake for a moment.

Realizing it was just Suna, you closed your eyes again and quickly found yourself back asleep. He thanked whatever god there was that you were too tired to stay awake. Even though it probably wouldn’t have lasted much longer from what he was going to do.

Walking over to the table, he began shutting your books and putting your stray papers in a neat pile so you wouldn’t lose them in the morning. After that was finished, he pulled the chair you were seated at out slightly. You groaned, feeling the movement so Suna had paused to let you fall back asleep.

When he knew you were out again, he carefully picked you up from the chair and carried you into your room. “Your” was a funny word to him now. So much of his home had become yours as well and he began getting used to the feeling of you being there with him.

He set you down onto the bed, making sure you were still asleep before he put the blanket you stole from him over you. “Night loser.” He mumbled as he placed a feather like kiss on your forehead and left the room. Little did he know, you woke up.

***********************************

I drink, I smoke. You ate it up from the very start. Should've seen this coming from a mile away. I’ll play your game

“Suna!! Truth or dare!” Atsumu said, quite loudly in his drunken state.

You, Suna, Atsumu, and Osamu had decided to celebrate your acceptance letter to the university you wanted to get into. He hadn’t really drank much though. A little sad that you were going to end up leaving Japan for college. You however, we’re almost as drunk as Atsumu and he had to make sure you weren’t accidentally doing things you would regret in the morning.

“Uh… dare I guess?” He replied. The dares hadn’t really been bad. So far it was “prank call Kita”, “go ding dong ditch”, “message your ex”, and things like that. So Rin wasn’t prepared for what Atsumu dared him to do.

“I dare you to kiss Y/n.” The moment those words had left his mouth, Osamu choked on his beer, making you laugh. Atsumu had known about his crush on you so of course he had to use that against Suna now.

“They’re drunk. I’m not doing that.” He replied, feeling like shit if he took advantage of your drunk state. You rolled your eyes, moving over to him. You carefully took your best friend’s face in your hands before pressing your lips to his. Suna nearly froze, not sure what to do before he melted into the kiss, pulling you closer to him.

You pulled away first, smiling at him. “See! It wasn’t that bad!” Heading back to your original seat Suna took a drink from his beer.

You were going to be the death of him.

***********************************

And I know it's just a phase, you’re not in love with me.

“You’re… moving out?” Suna asked as you sat on the opposite side of the table. You couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Why were you so hurt? You knew that this was only temporary. So why was it so hard?

“Yeah. I said it was only for a few months right?” You asked, laughing halfheartedly. You stopped whenever you noticed the way Suna was staring at you. He liked… hurt? That wasn’t the right word for it. He was heartbroken. The best friend he had gotten so used to being his daily routine was leaving.

Sure he could see you in school but it was almost over. You were about to graduate and leave him. Again. He didn’t say anything. Trying to process the words you had told him before he got up, giving you a very forced smile.

“Come on. I’ll help you pack.”

Closing your father’s car's trunk, you turned on your heel, nearly hitting Suna. You both hadn’t realized how close he had gotten so he took a step back, making sure he wasn’t in your personal space.

“Thank you for letting me stay with you. They finally realized they can’t keep forcing me to be their perfect child anymore.” Suna gave you a smile, but it was clear it wasn’t genuine like all the ones he had given you until today.

“I’m glad. Let me know if you need anything else.” He replied, opening your door for you and you nod, getting into the car. As he took a step away, you turned it on and began heading back to your parents home. Leaving your best friend alone.

As Suna got back into the house, it already felt empty without you. Rin couldn't help repeat the phrase “you were being used. This didn’t mean anything to them.” He tried to stop but it wasn’t long before his eyes began to stung and the tears began to prick at his eyes. Sinking down onto the floor in front of the door, he stared at the volleyball on his wrist, missing you so much already.

You wanna piss off your parents, baby. Piss off your parents. That's alright with me

#suna x reader #suna rintarou x reader #suna rintaro x reader #rintarou suna x reader #Suna angst #suna rintarou angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #haikyuu!! angst #haikyuu angst #—sanctuary

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thesoutherngems · 4 years ago

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Short Stories

"WONDER GIRLS"

By: Lovely T. Duroca

June 12, 2021

It was 3 years ago. I still remember how it felt like going to college for the first time, I was nervous, my heart was beating so fast and it felt like my stomach would turn upside down, anytime soon because anxiety and excitement was building up deep inside me. College is a strange thing for me, it seems like it's a place where everyone battles for their dreams, and according to my some posts that i've read in social media, it's a place where you will get lots of sleepless nights, breakdowns and that surely, you will experience crying yourself out because of school works and tasks, with that, I became scared and I asked myself, will I be able to survive college? Will I be able to get through it alive and still sane? But still, with a nervous smile and a pale face, I walked into my university thinking of my mom and my grandparent's happy and smiling faces. I told myself that I will overcome this, and I will survive and will fight for my dreams because I have those supportive people right behind my back, my hardworking mom, my lolo who has been there with me since I was young, and my lola, a strong woman, who helped my mom raised me to become that lady that I am today, I will fight and get through college for them, that's what I told myself before entering the school's entrance.

But little did I know, the world I was stepping into by that time is so scary, it's unfamiliar, lots of unknown and new faces of students are surrounding me, it's suffocating and it feels like i'm running out of breath, i'm having a hard time breathing, but still, with my nervous and anxious eyes on the ground, I continued walking towards my college department, and I didn't notice that I was holding unto the strap of my bag tightly that it makes my knuckles turns white. I took a deep breath and forced myself to think of positive and happy thoughts, but deep inside, I know I was praying really hard, for that day to be over, I just wanted to go home, crawl into my small bed and hug my fluffy pillow, I just wanted to stay and bring myself back to my comfort zone. I really didn't like going out, surrounding myself with people, because I prefer to be alone and have my own peace of mind. I am an introvert who always chooses to lock myself up in my room, read books, watch my favorite tv series or just listen to music. I hate noise and I have my own world, but the fact that it isn't always like that, that I need to go out, socialize and meet other people because it is necessary, it's hard, but here I am, trying my best out and catching my breaths, forcing my heartbeat to be normal because I have goals, and dreams that I need to reach and fulfill.

Walking in the corridor and seeing that the rooms are becoming nearer each time I took a step forward, my heart started to beat even faster, and when I finally saw the classroom number that was assigned to my com, I was hesitant to go inside, I don't know anyone around and all I can see are unknown faces of students. I saw that there are already students inside, some are just sitting, busy scrolling with their phones, and others are talking to their friends, I inhaled deeply and with a sweaty palm, I step into that room, suddenly, I felt like it became quite, the noise that I heard earlier disappears and I can sense that they're looking at me and it makes me feel more nervous and scared. It seems like I was stepping into a territory that is very foreign and new to me. I continued walking and then I spotted an empty seat on the back, I immediately walked towards that seat and when finally, I was able to sit down, I somehow felt relaxed and a bit at ease. I took my earphones, plugged it in and listened to my favorite music since the professor hadn't arrived yet. I was singing along with the song inside my head when suddenly, I felt like someone poked my shoulder, I turned my head to see who it was and I saw a girl with a long black hair and an eyeglasses, she smiles at me and said,

"Is this seat taken?"

I smiled back awkwardly and replied,

"No, I'm just the only one sitting here."

"Great, then now, we can sit together with you." she exclaimed happily.

I don't know what she meant when she said the word "we" but when I heard that she called a group of three girls, that's when I realized that she's with her friends.

"Hey, girls, here. Let's sit here, together?"

She turned to me and I guessed that she's asking my name. So I said,

"Love, my name's love" while shrugging off the embarrassment that I felt because I really didn't like my name.

"Love, you got such a cute name, my name's Hale by the way, and these are my friends, Jas, Yel, and Miah." she said pointing to the girls behind her, I waved my hands to the girls and said,

"Hello, nice to meet you all."

They smiled at me in return and also said hi.

And those girls eventually became my first friends in college. And I was really relieved that I met them, happy at the same time because finally, I can now have friends that I can be with while we're all battling for our dreams. The professor came in minutes later and he just talked about some rules and regulations and we introduced ourselves one by one to the class. I really didn't like that part, I'm really shy and when it comes to speaking up in front, I'm afraid I might stutter and will just stood there frozen and unable to say anything, but my new friends told me that there is nothing to be afraid of, because we are all the same, we're all students and we're all humans, so when it is already my turn to speak, I held my head high, and I introduced myself to the class, I just imagined that it was just me and no one else in that room, and luckily, I was able to pull it off and I was so relieved after I finished speaking and was able to finally sit down again on my sit. The girls were smiling and said that,

"See, you can do that. You did great."

I smiled and thanked them in return.

Hours passed and it was already lunch time, we were talking and discussing where we should eat and what are we going to eat, then Jas, the girl with braces and shoulder level hair said,

"Let's just go to the cafeteria, there are many food kiosks there, we can choose and decide later."

We all agreed and we immediately went there. But unfortunately, there were no vacant table for us, all are occupied, so we decided to just wait for them to finish eating so we can eat after them, but just when we were about to turn back, someone approached us, I recognized her as one of our classmates as well, the girl with a chinky eyes and chubby cheeks, I just forgot her name when she introduced herself earlier, I'm not really good at remembering names.

"Classmates, you can sit with us, there are still vacant seats on our table."

Yel, the one with curly hair and voluptuous physique, replied,

"Really! Omg! thank you, I'm already hungry."

"Yeah, let's go, our table's over there."

We walked to where their table is and I saw that there are two girls sitting in there and there are also six, vacant seats so it'll surely be perfect for us.

The girls at the table waved their hands at us, one of them with blonde hair and eyeglasses and the other one with braces and pink cheeks.

"Hey, sit down now classmates," said the one with blonde hair.

"Thank you, luckily you guys found us." said Miah, the pretty girl with long straight hair and pale white skin, among us, she's the one who looks foreign, and I think she's half american.

We all sat down and started chattering.

"By the way, what's your name, guys?" I asked them.

"Sorry, I couldn't really remember when you introduced yourself earlier, I'm not good with names."

"Oh it's fine, I'm Sha, these two are my friends, Chaw and Cassie."

After that brief introduction, we decided to go buy our food so we can finally eat our lunch. We continued chatting while eating and my heart is just so happy being with those girls, they're fun to be with and they're full of interesting and funny stories, and little did I know that I was already becoming comfortable with their presence and i'm not my usual quiet and shy self anymore, I also talked with them and laugh with them.

After that 1 hour lunch, we decided to go back to our classroom and we also decided that the eight of us should sit together. We sat on the back and that spot has become our usual seat from then on. College has become easy and fun because of them. Having friends really helped me to survive the days, weeks and months of being a freshman student and as time passed, our friendship also became stronger. We are always together and one of our professor even named our group, WONDER GIRLS, because he noticed that we always hang around each other, that the eight of us wouldn't be complete without one another, we help each other with school works, and we always lift each other up and of course, the best thing is our after school hangouts where we always go to places and try different foods. Each one of us has different characteristics, but that didn't stop us to become friends, instead, it makes our friendship unique and more interesting, and now, we are already in our senior year in college, just two more semesters to go and college will be over, but the friendship that we built along the way, and the memories that we gathered since the first day of school during our freshmen years, will forever be treasured and buried deep inside our hearts. Wonder Girls will always be the best thing that has happened to me in my college years and I will forever be proud and thankful of my girls.

THE END

#short stories #thesoutherngems

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smileyoongle · 5 years ago

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Let Me Love You (Soft Yandere Mafia! BTS) // Members 2/7

Requested by @kpopgirlbtssvt

Summary: You certainly weren't expecting to be caught up in the middle of a mafia deal going wrong while dealing with you own life's mess.

So I tweaked the request a little. Not all members will have the plotline of mafia deal going wrong. You'll figure it out better when you read the Namjoon scenario. Also, I apologize for being so late with this. The other members will be updated shortly, please be patient!

Kim Seokjin:

The lights in the huge bathroom flickered, your heavy breathing and whimpers evading your senses and making you feel suffocated. The cubicle in which you had locked yourself was at the end, the white door having a number of words scribbled on it. Unfortunately, there was no window for you to escape. And if you tried to leave the bathroom to make a run for the exit, you would definitely die. You didn't have any choice but to sit quietly and pray. Pray that no one finds you.

Flashback

You huffed and gathered all the sheets scattered in front of you. You hated how much you procrastinated things but it was now a deadly habit that you couldn't get rid of, no matter what you did. And especially college assignments. Who even worked on them before the deadline was announced. Absolutely not you.

You rubbed your eyes in frustration and opened your laptop while searching for your pen. It was pretty late at night and your favourite cafe was absolutely empty. But the owner knew you very well so she let you stay.

You let out a small 'ah' when you found your pen and just then, your bag started to fall off the seat. In order to hold your bag, you ended up letting go of the pen and it fell to the floor. You cursed as it rolled ahead towards the entrance of the cafe, a loud thud echoing through the quiet cafe when your foot hit the leg of the table. You winced and got out of your seat, stumbling to get your pen back. You were such a mess, it was almost embarrassing.

You sighed and bent down to grab your pen, your fingers meeting with someone else's. You frowned and looked up at the person who you had made contact with, a soft gasp leaving your lips on seeing a very very handsome stranger. He had black hair which were pushed away from his forehead and his dark eyes that stared into yours as if you were a painting at the Louvre. He was a lot more attractive than any boy you had ever met before.

Snapping out of your dreamland, you cleared your throat and stood up straight, looking at the floor as he picked up your pen and stretched out his hand towards you. With a soft smile, you took the silver pen from him and mumbled a 'thank you', oblivious to what you were doing to him.

"What are you doing here so late, doll?" His voice startled you as your eyes momentarily widened upon hearing the nickname before you calmed yourself down. You saw the men standing behind him, shivers running down your spine due to the dangerous aura they carried with them.

"Uh...just college stuff. I'll probably be staying up all night." You replied, smiling sadly at him. He hummed, his stare on your body going unnoticed by you. Your hands felt clammy all of a sudden and your body told you to run away. No matter how good looking this person was, he made you feel weird. He scared you. But he also made you feel warm.

Suddenly, he stretched his hand out to you, a gentle smile on his face to let you know that he wasn't gonna hurt you. "Kim Seokjin." He stated as you hesitantly placed your hand in his.

"Y/N Y/L/N."

He brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it softly, sending your heart into a spiral. Your cheeks felt warm as you harshly bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling. This was definitely the first time that a man was being so gentlemanly. Otherwise, all males that you met were mostly assholes.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N. Let's talk more after I finish this small meeting that I have. Is that okay with you?"

You thought for a moment, realising that you should definitely try to socialize. Being a foreign student was not very easy and you didn't have many friends yet. Your teachers always pressed everyone to make acquaintances with different people. They said your life would be easier. And you didn't have anything to lose either, right?

With a grin, you nodded your head and pulled your hand away, quickly gripping the hem of your top anxiously.

"I'd like that."

"Great. I'll see you in a bit then." And with that, he walked away towards a table at the corner of the cafe. With a deep breath, you got back to your seat and drowned yourself in your assignments.

You had ended up sleeping on the table with your head resting upon your papers. If you had known what was going to happen then you wouldn't have opened your eyes at all.

There was a loud yell and you flinched, your head immediately turning to see the table where Jin sat. But he wasn't sitting anymore, he was standing. Actually, everyone that came with him was standing and a man dressed in a red suit was doing the yelling. You frowned and hissed, his voice was too sharp and you didn't like it. It was giving you a headache. Jin's eyes flickered to you, a wave of sadness passing over his features. Something was very wrong. He looked apologetic. As if he had committed a crime.

Or was going to.

"I didn't wanna do this in front of her but you've given me no choice." You heard him say. You narrowed your eyes when you saw him holding something which was glinting in the dim lights. The air in the cafe was dense and once you figured out the object in seokjin's hand, you immediately regretted your decision to study in Korea.

Your dinner was begging to be let out, your stomach churning in fear as your heart pounded in your chest. Sweat beaded on your forehead and you felt dizzy. With all your strength, you pushed yourself on your feet and looked around the cafe. Your throat ran dry on seeing the two men standing by the entrance. You were trapped. There was no way you could leave.

Your eyes lit up with hope when you saw the door to the bathroom, your lips quivering as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks. You harshly wiped your eyes to get rid of the tears pooling in them and dashed towards the bathroom, praying mentally when no one followed you.

But what you didn't know was that Jin didn't want you to witness it. He didn't want you to see him at his worst. Unfortunately, you had already done that. You had seen the gun clenched in his fingers and you had seen the murderous look on his face. As much as he wanted to treat you right, he couldn't. Because there was no way you were gonna trust him anymore. He could only kidnap you if you rejected him. But he wasn't sure of that either.

End of Flashback

You placed the back of your hand on your mouth to stop your cries. But it was of no use. Your entire body was shaking since you heard the gunshot. What was supposed to be a tiring but peaceful night, ended up being a nightmare. A nightmare that you never thought you would have to witness.

You tried to distract yourself by looking at the flickering lights but that wasn't helpful either. You heard the door to the bathroom being thrown open followed by heavy footsteps. You noted the murmurs. It wasn't just one person. There were two. You pressed yourself against the wall and tightly clamped your mouth shut. You didn't wanna die. Not today.

But the universe seemed to be against you. As if on cue, the door to your cubicle was pushed open. You closed your eyes and screamed at the top of your lungs as two rough hands dragged you out. You thrashed in their arms, their hissing and curses making you more scared. You didn't wanna get on their nerves but what else could you do. You were probably gonna die anyway.

You opened your eyes to see him standing in front of you. His hands were still wrapped around that gun and you found yourself shivering on seeing the pool of blood in which a dead body lay. Tears were streaming down your cheeks continuously and there was no way to stop them. Your cried turned into whimpers under Jin's powerful gaze. He made you feel small. As if you were a prey and he was your predator.

"Please. Please don't kill me. I won't say a word. I'll forget that this night even happened. Just-just don't kill me…" you begged, your knees giving away when the two men left your arms. You absentmindedly rubbed your arms to try and soothe the pain that their fingers had left. Your eyes were fixed on the floor and you could do nothing but cry and beg. Hopefully, he'll pity you.

You saw his black boots come into your line of sight, your breath hitching when he placed his finger under your chin. You closed your eyes when he pushed your chin up so that he could see your face, his warm breath giving you some kind of relief.

"Let me see those eyes, doll." He mumbled, your eyes immediately obeying. You breathed heavily, his faint smile making you feel hopeful.

"I'll leave Korea if you want. But don't hurt me." You whispered, your voice cracking in the middle. Jin's eyes showed nothing but guilt and affection. His forehead creased as he frowned upon hearing your words. Why would you say that?

He gently shook his head and placed the gun on the floor before kneeling down in front of you. You were so fragile. He was afraid he'd hurt you. Jin didn't know why but he found himself infatuated with you. The second he laid eyes on you, his heart fluttered and he knew that you were the one. He had to have you.

You were shocked when he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a warm hug. You inhaled his scent and found yourself relaxing on hearing his steady heartbeats. Your hands slowly held the lapel of his overcoat as he caressed your hair.

"If I wanted to hurt you, doll, don't you think I would have done that already?" He asked, rocking you back and forth in his arms. You bit your lip and nodded, realising that what he was saying was completely right.

"So there's your answer. I do not want to hurt you. I want to take care of you. Do you think you'll let me do that?" He questioned, pulling away from you and cupping your cheeks. You gulped, not knowing what to say.

Take care of you?

Why?

He didn't even know you.

When you didn't reply, he sighed and wiped away the tears that were drying on your cheeks. He pursed his lips and leaned closer to you.

"I promise I won't lay a finger on you. All you have to do is come home with me. I just need you to give me a chance to show you that I truly care." He said, his voice dripping with desperation that made your heart flutter. No one had showed so much interest in you. Even though this situation was drastic, you couldn't help but think that maybe he wasn't such a bad person. You hesitantly nodded at him.

"I-I'll go with you." You stated, blushing when he smiled at you. Without another word, he kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger there for a second longer. If you thought you had the right to change your mind later, you were wrong. The minute you had said those words, your fate was sealed. Kim Seokjin never gave away anything that he owned. And he owned you now.

Kim Namjoon:

You were relieved when you were asked to serve in the VIP lounge again, the tray of liquor steady in your hand. If you said you weren't traumatised by the man who kept catcalling you, you'd be lying. Him being sat at the bar was even worse, his hands always finding their way to your ass. There was a limit to how much you could tolerate, even if you were just a part time worker at the club. You sniffled, inhaling deeply and making sure there were no traces of the tears that you had been shedding in the bathroom a few minutes ago. You needed the job to support your studies. It paid well, even though you had to compromise.

Pushing open the heavy lounge door with your hip, you entered the room, your eyes immediately meeting his as he glanced at you upon your arrival. This was probably the seventh time you were being asked to serve him whiskey, the untouched glasses from before indicating that he wasn't really interested in the alcohol. You bit your lip harshly, slowly walking towards him as he sat on the big plush leather couch, trying his best to listen to the man sitting in front of him. You assumed it was a meeting of some sort since the air in the room was serious. Quickly placing the glass on the table, you turned around to leave, only to have his fingers wrapped around your wrist. Your heart skipped a beat, your body freezing in place but refusing to turn. Your eyes widened, his breath hitting the back of your neck and you knew he was now standing. Your fingers tightened around the empty tray in your hand, your wrist burning under his touch. It was weirdly safe and relaxing.

"You've been crying. Why?"

His voice was gentle and smooth, his tone telling you that he demanded an answer. You wondered how he even figured it out, but then again, you were no good at hiding things. You swallowed thickly, his hand pulling at yours to turn you around. "Just- just an intrusive customer." You answered, your eyes looking everywhere but him. He was too handsome and you knew if you stared at him longer, you'd end up fantasizing about him. He hummed, his other hand coming to rest on your neck, fingers wrapping around the skin as delicately as possible. This made you look up at him. "If it made you cry, it's not okay." He stated, abruptly letting go of you only to turn and bark orders at his men to go and bring the culprit. Your heart thudded in your chest, your breath hitching on thinking about what was going to happen. You didn't want anything to happen to anyone because of you. "Exc-"

"Kim Namjoon, darling. And if you can't tell, you have had all my attention since I walked in."

You were too stunned to say anything, his lips stretching into a fond smile at your wide eyes. If you really thought about it, it was absurd and impossible. The affection in his eyes was too deep for someone who you had just met. Your body told you to turn around and run but his smile made you stand still. You had never had such a bad internal conflict before. You froze in your place, drowning out all the voices and the people. You didn't even notice when that man had been brought in and pushed onto his knees. All you could remember was the way you had felt powerless your entire life. There were many factors contributing to that, but you couldn't recall the last time you felt like you were in charge.

Fingers brushed against your arm, snapping you back into reality. You found yourself staring at the drunk man who now looked terrified. His eyes were already red and watery, lips quivering as his hands were tied behind him. You looked away, focusing your attention on Namjoon who stood beside you. "Tell me, darling, do you want to punish him for making you feel threatened?" He asked, your eyes widening in curiosity. Punish? What does that include? At your lack of response, Namjoon glanced at you, the heavy metal in his hands catching your attention. Your breath hitched as he took your hand in his and placed the silver gun in your palm. You realized how cold and heavy it felt between your fingers, absolutely alien. You were supposed to be running for your life but you didn't. Because you felt in charge. That's what you had always wanted. Namjoon's hands came to rest on your shoulders, his fingers rubbing circles to calm you down. You felt his breath on your neck, his hands now making their way to hold yours. "Don't be scared. I'm here." He comforted, strangely making you feel better about the situation. Your fingers wrapped around the trigger as Namjoon lifted your hand up, pointing the barrel at the man who now seemed completely sober. You took a second to observe all the others in the room, noticing how nobody seemed bothered by this. At that point, you had come to realise that this was more than just a business meeting. A low whimper had you looking at the kneeling male, his begs going unheard by you as Namjoon tried to distract you. He whispered nice things to you, about how you didn't deserve to be treated this way at all. That if it were up to him, he would never disrespect you like that.

Your heart raced, your mind screaming at you to stop. This wasn't you. You weren't just going to kill anyone. That was just heartless, but something was much more wrong and twisted. Maybe it was the way Namjoon had you pressed against him or the look of fear in your victim's eyes, you didn't know which one. All you knew was that you were very willing to blow his brains out.

"Pull the trigger and I'll take care of everything."

Your heart fluttered at the gentle tone of Namjoon's voice, his hands continuing to steady yours as you struggled to make a decision.

Get over with it.

You breathed shakily, closing your eyes shut before reluctantly pulling the trigger. It took you a couple seconds to recover, wondering why all you heard was a click. You managed to open your eyes, peeking at the man who was still alive. Namjoon's lips brushed against your neck, shivers running down your spine as his hands now wrapped around your waist. Your eyes began to water, not being able to believe what you were about to do. Your hands started shaking, the gun falling on the floor with a clatter.

"Wasn't going to let my angel get tainted now, was I?" You gasped at Namjoon's words, feeling partially grateful that he had handed you an empty gun. You leaned back into his chest, your legs feeling like jelly every time you looked at the helpless man before you. Namjoon tightened his hold around you, relishing in the way you fit so perfectly in his arms. He had kept an eye on you since you had come in to take his order. He had also seen how that man had touched you inappropriately, anger coursing through his veins at the very sight. Just because he hadn't let you kill him, didn't mean he was going to let that asshole live.

"I'm not a bad person." You mumbled, trying to convince yourself that what you were saying was true. But were you good? Was it justifiable to want to murder another human being? Your eyes stared blankly at the glass separating the VIP lounge from the rest of the club.

"I know, darling. Sadly, you were unfortunate enough to attract someone like me."

A subtle frown took over your features, your mind registering the words that had just been spoken to you. Namjoon's voice was like a lullaby, you could get lost in it's melancholy any day. You inhaled deeply, knowing that there was a very clear meaning behind his words. "Will you hurt me?"

Your question seemed to amuse him for he chuckled softly, the vibrations from his chest spreading through your body. You could see his faint reflection in the clean glass, catching sight of the dimples that dug into his cheeks when he laughed.

"Why don't you answer that question for me, darling?"

Your skin burned when Namjoon's lips pressed against your neck, your eyes closing in ecstasy. You had never been this intimate with anyone before, mainly because you never had the time to get to know anyone. Alone in a foreign country, you were a little too cautious when it came to things like these. And about his question, you really didn't have to answer. It was clear as crystal, if Namjoon wanted to harm you, he would have done that by now. "What do you want from me, then?"

At your question, Namjoon turned you around abruptly, your hands on his chest as you steadied yourself on your heels. You stared at him, biting your lip when his fingers came to brush against your cheek. Namjoon lowered his head, making you avert your gaze to his chest. You felt his breath fanning your face, one of his hands resting on your waist.

"I want you. All of you."

Your eyes widened, looking back up at him in surprise. Did you hear him right? You heard your heart beating faster than usual in your ears, everything else being drowned out in a second. The only thing you knew to be real was Namjoon and his hold on you, his eyes studying your expression and trying to fathom what your next words were gonna be. You only met him today. And from what you had gathered, he was a person with a dangerous status. He obviously didn't care who he hurt or who he killed, since he was the one urging you to shoot that man. The most rational thing to do was to decline and try to leave. But you being you, felt like this was special. You liked this affection oozing out of Namjoon, having been depraved of it your entire life. This was a good thing, wasn't it? Namjoon could give you a secure future.

Namjoon frowned, still caressing your cheek and waiting for you to answer him. He had a hunch that you were gonna say no. But Namjoon was a simple man. He wanted what he wanted. Assuming that things could go south, he decided to lay down his words before you.

"I won't take no for an answer, angel. Just say you'll let me take you home and we'll be alright." He cooed, shaking his head as he played with your hair. Your eyes wandered around the lounge, thinking how there was too much room for you two to be standing so close. But even if you wanted, Namjoon's hold was firm around you. He really had no intentions of letting you leave, whether it be from his touch or his words.

"I- I wasn't going to say no." You answered, Namjoon's eyebrows raising in shock. You inhaled slowly, standing on your toes and pressing your lips to his cheek. "Please take care of me."

Namjoon grinned, placing both his arms around your back and pulling you into a hug. He inhaled your scent, burying his face in your neck.

"Oh trust me, darling. I'll take good care of you."

Happy birthday to this beautiful, talented and soft human, he truly deserves this entire world. I hope every day keeps going better and better for him! Kim Namjoon will forever be my leader and role model 🥺💖

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