#like the phrase (dont go) is stuck in my brain

[huidol]

What a deceptive use of the word "you."

uncovered version under the cut

[hools]

Sorry if this is a weird question, but how do you come up with your drawings? What does through your mind while making them? I find your compositions so gorgeous and intriguing but I can't really figure out how you approach things since everything's very shifty and abstract. It's really gorgeous work, I'm so glad I discovered your art :,)

hey first of all this isnt a weird question at all & i'm really glad you enjoy my art heheheheheehe. there's an incoming large largely unformatted block of text that i hope you dont mind!

Honestly there are a billion things going through my mind at a time while I'm drawing and they all sort of bump into each other and cancel each other out like opposing particles. If you've seen any of my streams i'm usually very fast and iterative in a lot of my process and i rarely ever slow down even past the early parts like thumbnailing and sketching. i kind of let my hands do the talking more, yknow? but even then theyre never talking about a single thing at a time. everything interacts with everything, which is probably why i always end up getting lost and meandering. composition is not independent from color & value and neither are they from texture and perspective. its hard thinking of all of the ways they mesh and react to one another so i spend less of my energy thinking and more of it doing, and then assessing once something interesting comes about it. i guess then i prioritize my Hand Movement Actioning and Eye Vision Seeing over my Brain Neuron Assessing. but even though iterations can come and go quick this kind of informed throwing-against-the-wall isn't really the Fastest. but its fun. and you get to stuff all the unused ideas in your pocket for later.

even though i did say how connected everything is i always seem to start with composition. it kind of affects and informs everything the most at least on an individual piece level. with thumbnails & composition in general i think youre supposed to think huge right. so i Always think huge. push everything as much as you can. start with a crazy angle (not necessarily angle meaning "perspective" but like an angle between two lines) and border your scene within it. take an already steep foreshortening and steepen it further with the transform tool & see what shapes form from the empty & filled space. shrink your subject to only fit 3/4ths of the canvas and build around it to make it work. blow things up (enlargen) and blow things up (remove & obliterate). with composition you have so much room for fuckery if you give yourself the grace to accept the fuckiness.

and i guess this freedom to fuck around and iterate and build and build and build upon comes from how most of the time my initial ideas are very. vague? abstract like you've said. sometimes its Just a song or a song lyric and nothing else (no characters to attach to just the feel and my gut). sometimes its a less than 5 word phrase i felt strongly about throughout the day. in my me-only discord server i have messages in #to-draw channel that just say shit like "something about guitar straps" "thanks for knowing me!" "angel don't look at me" "DITHER QUEEN" (<-been meaning to make something with that). for things that have specific guidelines i spend more time thinking conceptually (the "rare animal" coelacanth drawing being an example) but otherwise it mostly comes out after. again. the first strokes. after you put the meat and bones on the canvas. an artist at a workshop i was at last year when i was in my own head about Needing to have a fleshed tangible Profound concept before being able to start something told me not to underestimate the stories that can be told just by your hands. and i think thats what stuck with me the most.

& one last thing i wanna mention is how despite how much i revel in the chaos of the process ive found how important limits are. i don't like cutting back on everything but i like cutting back on some things. sometimes i cut out backgrounds for solid fills and i love them that much more. sometimes i have little subconscious rules in a piece that i try not to break to keep a little level of consistency. if somethings a big wonderful mess already then i love a limited pallet and i love keeping parts empty and i love being able to breathe a little. yknow. but still go over the top in the other parts you have so much permission to. less is more but have a little more in your art than less. YKNOW?

but yeah thanks again for your kind words and wanting to listen to me talk. i havent been drawing much at all so these arent too fresh on the mind but i think i got a lot of what i wanted to say out. i hope u and others can get things out of this! if i made any sense <3

[sorbusaucuparia]

i. forgot to post about tma uh. its been a bit a lot has happened holy shit a lot has happened

spoilers to episode 69 (nice)

HOOOOOOOOO BOY.

live reaction after finishing s1

number one. the corkscrew lives in my brain rent free. and fucking. fuck. fuck. a CORKSCREW. i was again driving while listening to a lot of this and jon just fucking screaming startled me

"the skepticism feels safer" and "getting lost in the statements" is. uh. very interesting. and i dont,,,,, i dont really know what to do with that!

gertrude was. shot. thats. cool and awesome. my money's on elias.

martin called the statements a "web jon is stuck in" which is very fucking interesting phrasing given the lighter.

sasha is. fine. there is. nothing to be concerned about with sasha james. its fine. tables? what can a table do. nervous laughter.

MICHAEL. DON'T LEAVE ME HERE. MIHCAAEEELLL

jon saying "the archive appears remarkably like it was never attacked at all, unlike me" and "ive healed enough in the last month to go back to work, but I've been told the scars will never… truly fade" was. diabolical. also tim saying he's in physical therapy. i love love love that tma gives real weight to being injured. it takes time to heal. especially when someone drilled into your thigh with a corkscrew.

gertrude's recordings are interesting. she kinda seems a lot more on top of everything than jon is, and i dont know how much of that is experience or..... so me t h i ng else?

hill top road keeps. coming. up. as do leitner and the keays.

tim cant quit and jon cant fire him. which isnt at all concerning. everything's fine.

im very curious as to how jon wound up at the institute?? he says he "always believed" but im not sure if thats just after seeing artifact storage or what

anyways if you enjoyed this post please send me one william dolar at paypal.com/ifuckinghatejurgenleitner

[mechs-headcanons]

marius, ivy, brian, and jonny get tics

sometimes marius whistles or his mech arm spasms, hes never had a good explination beyond "oh it just does that sometimes"/"i dont actually know why i do that!" until ivy told him

ivy blinks or twitches or clicks her tongue, the only one she had before being mechanised was the clicking (carm did a great job on her brain but over the years a few wires have fried causing her to malfunction. she gets annoyed when she has a lot at once)

brian has the same thing with the finnicky mechanism except he didnt have any before and he only gets them when on the aurora or in an unprofessional setting (even then, very rarely) he gets twitches and blinks and sometimes something in his ribcage whistles (when this happens during quiet times it makes a few of the crew jump or startle because it sounds like something out of a horror movie)

jonny bites and says swears. sometimes he says abnew texan swear or phrase in an accent so far gone that not even ivy can begin to translate. this did get him in trouble pre-mech but he could usually calm down the situation by going "oh, i hit my head real hard when i was a boy and ive gotten them twitches and yellin' ever since" (not entirely untrue, he was a very clumsy kid, but this was not the cause for them. also, read that with an accent. alternative solutions did involve a gun and/or melee weapon) he also kicks when hes laying down and his hands twitch/grab, not to be confused with his grabby hands when he wants something out of reach. he also blinks and yelps sometimes

-🐺who is having a very tic-ful moment right now (most of these are based on my own, only ones i havent experienced are words and the ribcage thing)

mmm yes. as someone who has tics, this is great. adore this. i also hate tic attacks but mostly bc i get stuck cursing for long periods of time :,3

i propose jonny with a tic where he just throws up his hands (like as if you were frustrated or something) (definitely not me projecting)

[sooniebby]

resurrected myself 😭 mcyap again

about the part where some last names were made up, they can be. i mean isnt that true for all names, technically 💀 but from my experience w my last name at least, it is a made up mix from our old chinese family name and thai-nized (omg istg idk how to phrase that fr 😭) and boom theres a last name. for fiction, undoubtedly many last names will be made up fr cuz if someone uses a real last name (thats not a celebrity's last name) thats kinda like doxxing and kinda rude imo 😭

i think bls are good (bias alert 🚨). ig it's kinda hard to find those trashy telenovelas unless you have the name (even i forgot the names too tbh) but if you dig deep enough you might find them 😭 ong i hope not cuz theyre so boring and repetitive... (imagine smth along the lines of the mary sue perfect middle class/country girl gets the attention of a rich trust fund picture perfect gary stu man, but doesnt want it. then the jealous rich bitchy exgf/sister/girl friend is tryna sabotage their romance at every turn but the man doesnt relent. the MIL and DIL are evil and plots with the jealous one and try to ruin the femmc's life, but the gary stu man saves her and they live a happily ever after and the three villains get karma smthsmthsmth)

honestly, i can imagine เสือ looking like a scary af mob boss 💀 thats also right tho a lot of thai people are named after how they look fr. someone i know was named after her chubby cheeks as a baby.

dont sweat that theres not a lot of thai lessons online 😭 tho i kept getting ads during on youtube about this one website called thaipod101 but i never used it so idk how good it actually is. honestly even my thai is ass as a native speaker smh i should probably sign up 💀

i understand how u feel abt not knowing enough to feel confident about writing a full fic. i'll need to think about what more to say in terms of super traditional thai culture 😭 i know a fair amount of history i think. but if you have any specific questions i can do my best to answer them !! tho i might reply super late cuz college stuff fr 💔

good luck with whatever u got going on rn, wish you the best and believe in u !!

Yea you right, all last names are technically made up. I guess I kinda meant it in a way that people said Thai people would take other names and kinda mix them into a new one, like you said how you got your family name.

It’s just interesting to me cuz y’know… lots of black people got their last names taken from them by colonizers lol. I don’t think I could even find what place my original ancestors are from to change my last name. So I’m stuck with this Scottish last name fml fml

I lowkey want to watch one of those shows just to see—I like watching trash sometimes, just to turn off my brain

I saw Thaipod 101, I learned how to write some of the alphabet cuz for my mom I wrote I love you in Thai lmfao. She’s really into Thai dramas—she can’t read it but she finds the alphabet really pretty lmfao. I dunno if Thaipod is like legit but the lady I was watching was from Thai and lowkey I was learning a bit when she was teaching me how to write. Thais actually so easy to write once you learn, I prefer the writing system from Chinese lol

Don’t worry about being late, I know colleges are probably still going for other countries lol. Take your time. I guess any questions really would be in relation to Thai universities? I kinda know a little cuz Thai BLs love college settings lol, but getting info would be great

Thanks so much, I hope you pass your classes!

[murkystarlight]

I've always wondered how people made playlists for characters. Or an entire fandom. Or anything really(I'm horrible at it. Or maybe I just don't know enough songs)

But I did manage to think of songs the new order would sing at karaoke, or just singing skills. I don't actually have songs I think they would sing. But we do have what I wrote down for musical abilities! (This thing was in my drafts for months-)

Jesse

Good at singing. But not very good with rhythms(those darn quick time events don't help!! Arghah)

But like the few songs they've sung their entire lives?? Yeah. The rythm kind of got stuck in their brains. And can keep up to it.

Probably would sing something like... breakup songs, the most. But like, happy break up songs(like.. not happy. But you know.. the 'I broke up with you, but I dont care. You were crap anyways. I'm so out of your league' kind of breakup songs). Why? I thought it'd be funny. Okay? I don't know why-

Olivia

She's a good singer. But she doesn't really like singing in front of crowds. So like.. only with her close friends. But she has a really nice singing voice. Can't reach the really high notes, but manages most of them(even if they're not fully perfect)

I think she would sing more calmer songs.

I think she would know how to play the piano or violin (think she got a good musical ear)(I also thought of her having a dj board thing--)

Axel

He has a loud voice. He covers his weakness of singing with that loud voice. Can't hit a high note? Just scream! Scream the crap out of your throat. But his neck is fine. He screams often, and it takes more than just 'screaming to get a high note' to damage his throat. So he can hit the high notes... well, it does the job. He can get the high notes done. And speaking of high notes, he would sing Hatsune Miku a lot(I- don't know why😃)

If he was to play an instrument I'd say something like.. the drums?

Petra

She doesn't really sing. But she isn't horrible at it. Maybe with practice she'll be better? But when she does sing, she sticks to the easy ones. If there is a high note in the song, she'll just skip that part. Just- everything goes quiet all of a sudden. When the high note part ends, she starts singing again.

She sings anything as long as she knows the song(and likes it) and if it's not something too cheesy(either she doesn't like it, or she just has a big ego).

And for instruments(which.. I apparently also started writing down in this post), drums and guitar/base?

Lukas

I think. He would be able to hit high notes. Like.. really high ones. But the problem is, he can only do it in one song. Or the next day he won't be able to speak. He also has to take care of his throat before and after the song. But other than that. He's a great singer

Think he would sing jazz for some reason. I have- no idea why. Or country. With a guitar maybe(I'm really just throwing things out there at this point). And maybe K-pop. Cause... I like that theory(also the reason why he can do high notes?)

Instruments; guitar. Maybe piano?

So, from here. I guess... dynamics?

After a while, Olivia, Axel and Lukas has to sit down and catch their breath(Olivia and Lukas mostly because they're tired, low energy. And Axel.. he can still go on. But he gets pulled down since he keeps trying to hit the high notes by screaming) So that leaves Petra having to deal with Jesse. Jesse wants to sing. While Petra... she's kind of tired of it by now.

Jesse likes singing duets(or more people) together. So everyone sings a duet with Jesse at least once if they go karaoke together.

Axel(most of the time) doesn't actually know the Japanese lyrics when he sings Miku. He just copies whatever he heard or sees on screen.

Lukas, actually knows the lyrics to the K-pop he sings. He reads books and stuff(yh. That's not a very good reason. Is it..). If he does like K-pop, he would've tried learning it. Other than that, I think he would know a lot of different languages. Even not fully. But know some words and phrases

Jesse and Axel would sing in the shower

Olivia once cheated during karaoke by messing around with the wiring. She got bored while waiting for her turn(the others only realized it after getting the perfect score three times in a row)

Annnnd I realized I didn't think of an instrument Jesse would know how to play. And I have thought of~ the flute. I was thinking of f!jesse. But imagine f!jesse and m!jesse being siblings and they both signed up to learn. F!jesse loves it amd m!jesse doesn't. But they've gone too far. He can't quit now

And that's all. Thank you 👐

[gay-david-tennant]

hamlet but i haven't seen it (yet)

there's this guy named hamlet who's the prince of denmark

somethings foul in the state of denmark or something

hamlet's dad, the king, got killed before the play and hamlet suspects his uncle claudius (is that his name?)

claudius marries hamlet's mother and is now king (bit weird but okay)

hamlet doesnt like that

the ghost of hamlet's father appears to hamlet and tells him to kill his uncle in revenge

hamlet the master of indecisiveness™

to be or not to be

thats like about whether to act or not i think

hamlet is a college student so actually quite young (i think boy started to go to college at age 14 and hamlets probably around 16 but nobody's sure)

a phrase stuck in my brain is "hamlet the frat boy" but im pretty sure he's more of a theater kid

instead of killing his uncle hamlet stages a play similar to what he thinks transpired to watch how his uncle reacts to it

the lady doth protest too much, methinks

shakepeare does love to make his protagonists spiral into insanity

i heard hamlet is a story about grief and i also heard that it's like a mirror, what you see about hamlet says more about you that hamlet himself (but dont ask me to elaborate i am realising my brain retains information i have no clue how i got)

in the end almost everyone dies because of hamlet

hamlet stabs someone through the curtain i think its the father of ophelia (polonius or smth i dunno) cause he thinks is his uncle

im not sure why his uncle should be behind a curtain tho

hamlet randomly gets kidnapped by pirates but we never see it because shakespeare already new how expensive special effects are

i bet the pirates let hamlet go because he's a little bitch

hamlet is A LITTLE BITCH

i think in one scene he just tries to fluster ophelia (his not-quite-girlfriend) by turning everything she says into sexual innuendo (may i lay my head in your lap so on so on)

there's one scene with a grave digger whom hamlet asks for whom the grave is the man is digging and the man responds it is his own to which hamlet answers something along the lines of

one would thinks so for thou dost lie in it

great pun

ophelia actually manages to drown in a brook which is characterised by it's shallowness

its unclear whether she did it intentionally

there are some guys named rosencrantz und guildenstern (probably didnt spell that right) and i know nothing about them except that they die because of hamlet and for some reason they always get mentioned together which makes me think they are an item

many people die because of hamlet

also there's a skull

is that yorrick?

hamlet talks to it

david tennant got the role of hamlet because he randomly picked up a real human skull

hamlet dies (big surprise!)

there's a duel? and one of the sword's is poisoned and hamlet picks up the wrong one? is that with laertes? i know he dies, too

also there's horatio, everybody seems to like him so i tried to not mention him for as long as possible to annoy them (not really i just dont know much about him)

people think hes gay for hamlet

hes not nobility but wellspoken

something something sweet prince?

horatio does not die

he lives to tell the tale

which is somehow worse

while i know (claudius?) hamlet's uncle dies and thats kinda the point of hamlet's whole actions i do not actually know when or how he dies (but i know about the curtain stabbing, the brook and the duel, weird)

or is he the one in the duel?

i bet hamlet's mother dies too

i also dont know how hamlet dies, something with the duel and the poisoned sword i guess, i know he picked up the wrong sword but im not sure if the wrong one was that with poison or not

WHAT DOES THE PIRATE KIDNAPPING HAVE TO DO WITH EVERYTHING?

AND WAS HE REALLY SIXTEEN?

i am very confused about how much there is in my brain about the guy

i do think there must be more to horatio except 'gay for hamlet' but i dont know anything

rosencrantz und guildenstern sound like a comic relief duo who dont know what they're doing

something about mother and knowing about playing with her drapes... (is that from hamlet?)

im sure this is enough for now

please do tell me how wrong i am

also tell me if you know why i seem to know so much about this (even if it's not true)

yes, this was inspired by @weirdly-specific-but-ok 's good omens post and @hello-ello-ello 's post about macbeth

[denzartriste]

Actually explaining things in the animorph au because honestly i feel like anyone who does research about this stuff on their own would be confused and also im better than any wiki's /j

Fundy, Tommy, Tech, and Foolish all have the power to morph. Morphing in this context means someone who has been given the technology too absorbs an animals dna (by touching the animal. I say animal but it can be any species, including their own apparently??? Book 12 opened up so many possibilities im refusing to think about), they can then morph into that animal/species. They get the animal's brain and their own fighting for control - some brains are easier to control than others. For example, a lizard brain will see a spider and want to eat it. A bug brain will probably see a spider and want to avoid it, morphers work with the insticts or against them, depends on their goal. (also once they absorb dna they can morph at any time. They also have two hour period where they can be in it, if they dont change back before two hours they get stuck in their morph. Techno in the au panicked, tried to morph back to human, and got stuck in between boar and human.)

^ Fundy and Tommy are humans, so the way they got the technology to morph is harder to figure out than how Foolish, an Andalite, got it.

Speaking of Andalites! If you need a visual reference looking up "Elfangor animorphs" will give you it, but im more explaining what the hell Andalites are. They are a pretty 'advanced' species, with advanced technology and the technology to morph - That's there thing, morphing. Also they can always tell what time it is, which is neat. Character wise: They would rather be dead then captured, they highly hate the Yeerks, have sympathy for the Hork-Bajir, and also are a bit of bitches. Im right they are im not getting into it but holy hell they are - anyways other than that they are pretty similar to regular humans, oh but also! huge honour thing going on. If someone in their family dies or whatever because of someone, they have a duty to kill that person once they come of age. Also they have a rule of not sharing their tech with anyone (the human morphers- or animorphs- got their ability from someone who did not follow that rule.)

Next important animorph species to talk about, Hork-Bajir! That's what Sam is, but please dont use him as a refrence to what they look like lmao. This is also my interpretation of them physically, because i dont agree with the actual thing they look like: So many blades in their bodies. Arms? Yeah those have blades. Legs? Blades! I imagine it as being farming scyth looking, because they are a peacful species so thats my thought for why they have bodies that can easily be used as weapons. Also, they have some scales and coarse moss looking fur - moss part is not accurate to the books but you dont know that. Maybe it is. Also the hork-bajir as a species is fully controlled by yeerks. (Which is why a lot of people in my au think Sam is a controller)

Speaking of controllers! (im so good at segways) Controllers is a term for someone who is being controlled by a Yeerk. Phrased as [species] Controller. Example: Human Controller, Hork-Bajir Controller, Andalite Controller, ect

Yeerks are the evil guys tm. Little slugs that wrap around someone's brain to control them, when they control someone the person is also fully concious, able to communicate with the Yeerk, theoretically able to gain control back for a moment or two, and feel the Yeerk looking through their memories. On the flip side, the person can also look into the Yeerks memories. And Yeerks memories kinda become one with their hosts/part hosts. Very neat. One of their big weaknesses is needing to feed on gamma rays (what is that? could not tell you i forgot. They feed through it by swimming in a pool/pod thing though) once every three days. They have to leave their hosts to do that. They also have a hiercy of vissers - higher the number, the most important. Sub vissers are below vissers but again, higher the number the more important. They also have a concil but its not important honestly. Also, the reason they're taking over the galaxy is bc Andalites gave them some technology once (thats why they dont do that anymore)

Also im just gonna say real quick because i might make charlie this possibly: Gedds are the first species the Yeerks controlled, i dont know too much about them honestly.

I think that's it - currently Purpled and Charlie arent animorph aliens but again, charlie's up for change (Purpled isnt he's very perfect)

[hopechip]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS | TAG GAME

Hi, so i saw Kiki (@jungkoode) do it and i felt targeted by the "you already have an OC in your notes app" comment so here I am.

What’s the origin of your blog title?

I read Kiki's "Off-Labels" right after spending days looking for new Hobi fanfics (specifically, mafia AU). Off-labels shook me so bad it ended up giving me the last push i needed to publish fanfiction again, which i hadnt done since like, 2021. "Chip" is the nickname Hoseok gives Y/N in this fic.

Favorite fandoms: ARMYs, Marvel's Loki, the Phandom ?? It's been a while.

OTP(s)/shipname: Gotta be Phan. I have a weakness for Sope too. Ngl, everyone who is ARMY and Phan OTPs those two ships. Something about grumpy and depressed X Sunshine.

Favorite color:

Sky blue, Wine Red and gold. I just think it explains my vibes pretty well lol.

Favorite game:

I dont play much, but i love watchinf Five Nights at Freddys, Outer Wilds and What Remains of Edith Finch. I love narrative games with a shitton of lore and a community to back it up.

Song stuck in your head:

Currently, my brain is mixing multiple Hozier sounds so i can't tell. I listen to a wide variety of music though.

Weirdest habit/trait?

I have ADHD, and a part of that ADHD is echolalia. I repeat sounds, end of sentences, phrases from movies and cartoons, sing all the fucking time. My most recent is "Le poisson Steve. IL EST ORAAAAANGE-EUH" from FrenchTok.

Hobbies:

Dancing, music, writing, mixology too !

If you work, what’s your profession?

I'm about to graduate and currently interning somewhere. My work is kinda specific so ill just say, IT.

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?

I am currently working towards it so i'll keep it secret for now ;)

Something you’re good at:

Dancing, teaching, making people feel good about themself and proud of themselves.

Something you’re bad at:

Not taking needless burdens upon myself. I am hard on myself in a lot of ways and i'm learning to let go.

Something you love:

My friends, my partner, stories, social analyses.

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

Intersectional feminism. Black women and their work. Community work. The intersection of arts and politics.

Something you hate:

Cruelty. Idiots. People who would rather lash out than take a look at themself and take responsibility for their actions.

Something you collect:

Friends lmao. i have two ways of making friends which is picking up strays or getting picked up by an extrovert. or maybe photocards since my SIL/roommate just offered me a binder full of BTS photocards she used to collect for my birthday.

Something you forget:

That i'm good enough. That i'm okay. That i'm awesome and I deserve better things. That it's not because something is not right now in my life that I dont deserve it. That i cant control everything.

What’s your love language?

Everything. I love surprising people in their love languages. I'd say the mot prominent one is food though, feed me and i'm yours. Also in general I love smart people so make me a puzzle and i'm following you like a puppy until the next one.

Favorite movie/show:

Last good one i watched was G20. Else, i would say Inside Out 2. I only cried like, 4 times.

Favorite food:

Currently i'd say sushi. I have been craving it for a while now.

Favorite animal:

CATS. I love pseudo independent tsundere motherfuckers who casually sleep on me when i go to bed then get offended when i have to get up to go to work in the morning. What ?

Are you musical?

Yes, very. Played the flute since childhood. Always had a piano in the house. Ballet for 12 years, K-pop for 5, Hip-hop for 3. I'm a hip-hop dance teacher actually.

What were you like as a child?

Extremely, dangerously curious. Kind, cried easily. Very early into books and music. Started writing stories and poems in primary school. Because of many things, I ended up hiding this side of myself and most of my younger work was deleted or thrown into the bin. Heh, life.

Favorite subject at school?

Heavily depended on my teachers that year. I'd say Philosophy though. Was exceptionally stimulating.

Least favorite subject?

Sports. I hated it, never been good, never managed to become good despite everyone telling me it was impossible not to. German too, hate this fuckin language. Entschuligung, meinen freunden.

What’s your best character trait?

I care and I take action. I am honestly, truthfully, damn near unstoppable once I want something a certain way, I always find a way wether everyone else likes it or not. I exhaust myself reaching goals and expectations noone but me put on myself and accomplishing thins people were impossible while berating myself because i was aiming for even higher than impossible.

What’s your worst character trait?

As you might have guessed from the previous answer, I am incredibly stubborn. I dont stop until I decided I stop, i dont change path until I decided i change paths, I dont take action until I decided i take actions. You push me, I push back, and i dont more an centimeter towards where you pushed me.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be?

It's a holiday today but i wish I could get paid despite not working today lol.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet?

My future self, in like 3 to 5 years. Just like Billie Eilish "my future", I'm just so excited to meet them. I'm at a turning point of my life and i wanna enjoy where I currently am, but i'm also I'm so excited for what is next.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love):

I'm just going to list writers tbh:

@jungkoode @chemicalpink @alpacaparkaseok @xjoonchildx and newly @hobi-side for the incredible job on "might just blow it" have fun exploring their masterlists

i dont tag anyone specific, if the aforementioned writers want to give it a go go for it :)

[glsneeg-enthusiast]

how many kicks does it take to get to the center of randys brain

"I can't help if I don't know." That was Maria's favorite phrase now. Randy had heard it one hundred and two times in the month that he had lived with her. And to her credit she did care, it was an improvement from when she had been threatening to kill him twenty-something years ago.

"You haven't given me anything to work with, Randy." Maria's patience was running thin, Randy could hear it in her voice. "I haven't been told anything. Not where either of you have been for two decades, not what happened that day, not why you both were on the verge of dying in the hospital, not why my brother's more delusional than he's ever been, and not why you can't seem to fucking think anymore."

Randy opened his mouth to stutter some excuse, and Maria had started again. "Don't tell me you don't know. I will smack the shit out of you if you tell me you dont know."

It was horribly silent for the next four minutes, Maria let out a sigh and her grip on Randy's shoulder weakened. "Do you think I haven't noticed any of it? The way you knew Henrik was grabbing that knife before he did, after you met Ava? Do you think I haven't heard you throwing up in the middle of the night? Or the things you mumble over and over again, for hours straight if nobody bothers you?" She was barely speaking above a whisper now, her face softened with it and Randy had prayed to Showfall that he would just have a heart attack and die right now.

She chewed on her lip while she looked at the floor, like she was hesitating. A nauseatingly long pause and then, "Randy, you buried my father's body in the backyard. I'm sure nothing you did while you were gone is worse than that."

Randy wished that was still the worst thing he had ever done.

...

This was the first time Randy had done it since he was with Showfall, and he was missing his arm now so he was bound to struggle. He didn't think it would be so hard to carve chunks of his skin out with only one hand.

...

If he had timed it better Beau wouldn't have walked in and saw the blood surrounding his mouth. If he didn't hesitate as long as he did it would've gone the way he wanted and she wouldn't have ever known anything.

She didnt say a word while she wiped the blood off his face and stomach.

...

Beau had always done these little interventions since she met him. He wished he was still mature enough to think it was good.

"I'm mad at you. Randy, I do love you, but if I was smarter you'd be in the psych ward again."

It always hurt, it would never not hurt. She had tried so hard to take care of him and this is how he repaid her, she deserved to say it and it deserved to hurt.

...

Randy had tried very hard to ignore how Henrik had been staring at him for twenty-six minutes, sitting with his back against the wall, knees to his chest, arms crossed over them. They had both come out of Showfall undoubtedly and horrifically changed, but Randy felt the same way he did thirty years ago. If he didn't have worse things on his mind he could go on another tangent in his head about how maybe he and Henrik were living in some horrible purgatory where they were stuck in the same but almost different scenarios over and over and over again, that maybe they really did just die that night and none of this was real.

And Randy had tried very hard to not fall over when Henrik had stood up and kicked him in the back of the leg. He had only stumbled a bit, which was better than fully falling over like he did a week ago. Henrik's pupils weren't dilated, even Randy could make it out with his blurry vision. His pupils weren't dilated which meant he wasn't drugged out of his mind or running on autopilot, which meant that he did remember everything. Nothing ever went well when he could remember.

"I heard Maria yelling at you earlier." Henrik had put his head against Randy's shoulder, much harder than preferred, Randy would probably bruise and Henrik would probably get a headache from it. "You're a fucking coward."

Randy wished the air didn't catch in his throat the way it did, he always hated when Henrik got a reaction out of him. Henrik had stumbled around and rubbed himself against half of Randy's body, the same way he always did, and then he had wrapped his arms around Randy's waist. He could feel Henrik's nails digging into his shirt and his skin underneath. Henrik smiled at him and it made him want to throw up.

For a moment Randy had forgotten everything either of them had done, focused on the fact that it was Henrik and he was touching him, and if he tried hard enough he could just barely make out all the lines in his face, the crookedness in his teeth, how his glasses sat lower on his nose than they were supposed to. For that moment Henrik didn't look like he hated Randy. And then it hit him like a brick that Henrik didn't care about what happened to them anymore, and he wouldn't care about it ever again. Either of them could die right now and he wouldn't care. Randy remembered clear as day how scared Henrik used to be about one of them dying, how he would cry and shake so bad he couldn't breathe. He didn't do that anymore.

Henrik had grabbed Randy's arm and pulled it up to his mouth, bit down on his forearm for at least thirty seconds and then let go. Randy almost wanted him to tear the flesh off. Henrik had smiled at him again. "Remind you of anything?"

Of course it did, Henrik just liked watching the discomfort settle on Randy's face while he thought about it. Randy didnt like thinking of it. Henrik being lucid was almost the worst thing that could happen, nearly mutually assured destruction except Henrik didn't care about what it could lead to. A ticking time bomb before one particularly bad episode and then Henrik spills it all, and all the reassurances and lies that Randy had built up would be gone in seconds.

"You're not any better than me. Randy, you did all the same things I did, but you're the only one that turned kids into cannibals," Henrik was holding his face now and Randy was trying not to throw up, "right?" He had tried to deny it and Henrik cut him off, "You did. You know you did, and I know you did. Do you think Maria wants to know too? Beau? Or is it another little secret like how you like eating people?"

Randy had uselessly been trying to shake his head no the entire time, trying to stutter out some kind of response and only getting out some half-assed and pathetic "stop"s. But maybe that was enough, because Henrik had stopped and pulled away and he almost looked scared.

Henrik didn't say or do anything else, only stared at his hands for maybe a minute and then walked out of the room.

[uriekukistan]

For the ask game! 2, 4, 24, 29, 71, 77 (for KNY)! :DD

HI KAT thank you for the ask <3 ily hope youre doing well !!!

2 - Do you plan each chapter ahead or write as you go?

i’m very much an outliner for long fics! for one shots i often free write or just name like a handful of things i wanna hit in the process. but for multichapters my outlines have gotten more detailed as i’ve gone along, and i typically have at least broad outline before i start writing at all.

4 - Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

they come to me as hallucinations. gifts from the heavens perhaps. idk man they just show up in my brain. sometimes i get ideas from songs, other times i get ideas from just. day to day life. for example, my hockey au idea came from attending a hockey game irl and being like what if….itafushi

24 - Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

remember that one anon? i dont think thats bad advice per se but i think they could have been kinder with how they phrased it. sure i was already a bit burnt out with writing but like. idk man that really stuck in my head and made me doubt everything ever.

i mean it wasn’t even advice it was a criticism, but in terms of creative writing i’ve only gotten advice from jinx and sam and it was good, so yeah. closest thing to bad advice i’ve gotten

29 - What’s your revision or editing process like?

hmmm right now i’m in a weird spot bc koi no yokan was written entirely in july, so my edits have mostly looked like rewriting what i wrote back then to sound better. bc i can write better now

other than that i dont typically have a beta it’s just me so. i definitely proofread and look for grammar or phrasing that can be fixed also typos bc i write late at night. generally i try to leave the basics of what i have and enhance it. i tend to neglect physical aspects of stories in favor of emotions so i have to go in and edit that part fs

71 - When it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

i’m still trying to find a method that works for me. right now i still just stick it all in one outline but i find myself losing track of small details or subplots. currently working on improving my system for my Big AU that only ao3 glazers know about

77 - Do you have a favorite scene you’ve written from koi no yokan? 

hmmm i’d say megumi and yuuji’s first kiss. i wish i’d dragged it out a bit more to really show how much that moment shattered megumi’s world (in a good way). like that’s kinda the start of his “awakening” and the catalyst for the rest of the story it’s just a very meaningful moment i think.

thank you again for the ask!!

[alstroemerian-dragon]

thinking about the several month period where the survivors (plus the two who are already awake) work to 1) wake up mahiru 2) support her through healing and then 3) wake up peko

and how utterly Miserable that period of time has to be for fuyuhiko

(more under the cut because its another long one babey)

like. okay. heres a couple of disclaimers: this is a repeat, but i have not watched the anime. so if the character dynamics from it are your canon, just know i may not follow that. second, i… dont really think about mahiru that much. shes not really that much of a character to me, given what were given in canon, and the Casual Man Hating Mom Friend Lesbian (and i know she canonically has a crush on hajime so shes definitely bi or pan dont yell at me) trope just does nothing for me im sorry HOWEVER. in contrast to fuyuhiko, and in terms of what, in my brain, she does during the tragedy (which will probably WILDLY contradict literally everyone else’s opinions), there IS something in… her* arc post sim (that * will come back) that DOES interest me. bear with me

fuyuhikos ingrained belief system revolves almost entirely around the phrase ‘There is always a bigger fish.’ there is always going to be someone stronger, bigger, and more dangerous than you, so you have to work to be the strongest, biggest, and most dangerous you can in order to stay alive. along with that, he’s had very strangled views of what it means to be a Man shoved down his throat by most likely his father, so to him, being a man means being Big and Strong and Dangerous. but at the same time… he knows thats all bullshit. hes had other influences in his life, peko, his sister and, in my mind, his mother and other strong women high up in his clan, that have shown him the falsehoods of a lot of those claims. at the same time, he also knows, in the back of his head, that he physically can not meet those expectations for being a man. but… he is one. i think hes Solid in that. so it ends up all conglomerating and fighting in his head in a very confusing mess, which honestly has to be exhausting.

mahiru, by contrast, seems to have this very odd two-part system of beliefs, where being a man means being Confident and Strong and Protective, but at the same time, men are fundamentally Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. women need to be protected by men, but also men are unnecessary. its… yeah its honestly familiar lmao. and some of this is the writers’ beliefs seeping in and some of it is bad writing but at the end of the day its what weve got.

so, to me, it really feels like the two of them would have absolutely hated each others guts during school. fuyuhiko is neither Big and Strong and Caring, nor is he Lazy and Stupid and Uncaring. he cares a lot, but not openly, or in a way that mahiru would easily recognize. hes an enigma in her eyes. and to fuyuhiko, mahiru is stuck in a frame of mind hes been fighting since he was a child, and as much as he’d try to be sympathetic, his anger has a tendency to get the better of him.

so… sato’s death would only have made this situation worse.

i dont think any of them knew he was responsible for her death. i dont think fuyuhiko told ANYONE aside from peko, especially since this would have been in their second year, after junko had begun sinking her talons into the entire class. how could he trust any of them? and he has to have known about her connection to mahiru, its the only way he could have found out she was involved in natsumi’s death. he kept it from her in particular, knowing she wouldn’t understand, knowing she would blame him, knowing it would just make things worse.

she probably doesnt realize the full extent of everything until… until after she wakes up.

im not gonna go too much into them as despairs, but lets just say that fuyuhiko… is responsible for a lot of bad things, even ones that happened to his fellow limbs. mahiru also did a lot of shit, but hiko i think is one of the only ones who hurt his so-called allies. and her cheery, fake, influencer-like attitude absolutely grated on him like crazy, resulting in a lot of screaming matches and even physical altercations.

so, when mahiru wakes up, her opinion of fuyuhiko is the lowest it could possibly be. hes an enigma, a stick in the gears, a man who hasnt yet shown his true colors and yet is also a violent, cruel dictator, fulfilling every expectation she has for the kind of man she expects the Ultimate Yakuza to be.

except he isnt. because by the time she wakes up, its been over a year and a half since the program shut down, and fuyuhiko is a very, very different person. and he doesnt have a low opinion of her at all. hes incredibly sympathetic to her situation, understands how much pain shes probably in, understands theres definitely a lot more under her surface beliefs that he doesnt see or know yet. thinks it was incredibly brave of her to stand up to him despite knowing he could be violent and dangerous.

and as the days go by, she sees that. sees him interacting with the others, sees him laugh at one of hajimes stupid jokes, sees him smile and roll his eyes at kazuichi’s physical affection, sees him lean on his cane when his leg flares up, sees him rubbing at the scars around his eye when they ache. sees how much respect he treats her with, how much space he gives her while not avoiding confrontations, because hes done running. hes been running for far too long, and hes done with it.

i think it takes a long time. weeks, maybe. months, possibly. but i think it starts to weigh on her mind, that she cant keep treating him like a criminal. like a weapon. cant keep ignoring his humanity in favor of the label of Violent Man that sits in her brain. and, additionally, interacting with the others, with hajime, with sonia, with kazuichi and sagishi. she starts to realize how utterly stupid the rigid gender structures that exist in her heard really are.

basically what im saying is i think mahiru is a he/him butch bi woman because i love to hit characters with the Cool Ass Gender ray. this is where that * comes back by the way thats why thats there because mahirus not a girl but also he is a girl but also hes not. hope this helps <3 also he and fuyuhiko are Worsties. they should eventually get to a point where they can both make jokes about the fact that fuyuhiko tried to kill him and can also have serious conversations about the sato and natsumi shit without devolving into unproductive arguing.

AND THEN PEKO WAKES UP FUCK THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT—

[storiesofsvu]

https://www.tumblr.com/storiesofsvu/756561724151414784/ask-game-for-fanfic-writers

How about every integer of 10? 🙏🫡

10,20,30,40,50,60,70,80,90,100

(or less if that's too much)

ooo bless!

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles and how easy or hard is that for you?

fuck. i HATE titles. 99% of the time it's the very last thing I do and half the time i forget about it until i open tumblr to make the post. For one shots i generally read through it again and pick a phrase or repeating word and use that. For series: i'll usually pop onto discord with a brief summary and ask if ppl have ideas, otherwise i have a note in my phone of potential titles that are generally song titles or lyrics. i like my series titles to actually mean something and tie into the story whereas i dont give a fuck about the one shots LOL

20. what is your favourite trope to write?

forbidden love? we're gonna pretend that's a thing lol. like, stories have to have conflict and what's better than two people who wanna fuck/date/whatever and either can't or shouldn't, or like, their bosses would frown upon it, right? like, any and all degree of it, not particularly totally forbidden.

30. most inspirational quote you've ever read or heard that's still important to you.

christ. i cannot think of anything rn. My mind went straight to disney because there are so many things that light up my passion/motivation. the last time we were there we saw the "new" (lol) fireworks show and it had this little speech that was all "no go, let your dreams guide you, reach out and find your happily ever after" and it was kinda the resurge i needed at the time to be all "oh fuck, that's right, i just need to focus" as the old fireworks show had a bit that i like, wished on every fucking night and always made me cry about cause of how i related to it. wow i'm SO cool HA.

in high school (performing arts) certain people got to sign the theatre crossover wall at graduation and i got to and i singed it with a Fosse quote but i cannot remember it anymore for the life of me loll

40. best piece of feedback you've ever gotten?

bruh ive got no clue. i dont get/ask for feedback basically ever. esp recently people have been more just "omg so good" or "next part??" uhh... yeah, i dont think anyone ever has minus like a comment here and there with a friend when spitballing and i have a goldfish brain so i cannot remember.

50. do you plan or do you write whatever comes to your mind?

bit of both! for one shots it's usually just the prompt i was given/found and MAYBE a bit of a blurb scenario.

series: i will not start until i have a much more detailed outline and a rough idea of how it's going to end. nothing is specifically labelled and as i work on the story the outline gets longer, more fleshed out, sometimes there's full conversations or smut pieces in the outline and eventually ch's get labelled and sometimes it's like "ch 4, they go to this hotel and fuck" lol

60. where is the most dangerous place that you're written fic?

work. was stuck in the bar (that guests dont have access to) during service time with nothing else to do. my manager literally came in and teased me about not working and then later asked what i was working on and i said "fanfic, but that's all i'm telling you cause a lot o its real gay and real dirty" LOL

70. are you ever critical of your own writing? how much do you find yourself editing (either during or after the fact?)

i'm SO critical, but it's like, when i'm rereading it months down the road and it's been posted and too late to edit LOL. and it's mainly me just looking at old works that are SO trope filled and slightly cringe and include lot of the stuff that i no longer write.

I don't edit too much at all lol. I'll catch most typos or grammar while going/on a brief read through but it's VERY rare i'll actually go back to edit a full passage the next day or anything. Hence my very detailed outlines! i will edit from there to the fic cause i'll add to the outlines whenever something sparks in my brain and i know its good lol.

80. do you try to put themes, motifs, messages, morals, etc in your writing?

uhh... no? LOL. sometimes i do, and sometimes they just end up there completely by accident.

90. do you notice your own voice in your writing style?

absolutely. why do you think there's so much profanity? LOL. but also as someone who writes mainly reader insert, there is a little bit of me in every yn i write

thanks for asking!! <3 (and that's never too much lol)

[aestheticvoyage2024]

Day 101: Wednesday April 10, 2024 - "This was 33 Months"

The 33rd month was a blur - the pace of play is picking up as fast as his vocabulary. Always on the run, squealing, smiling, rascaling it up. He's asserting his independence this month and lets you know his opinion is showing he's got all of his alotted Actingham bullheadedness that he was destined for. And its entertaining. Watching boss baby govern the Finca, his little universe. We shared most all this month with my parents who got to check in on him and his growth on more time before the heat of summer. And somewhere in this month we all to seem to notice a little change. Suddenly here in the 33rd month, we had more of a little boy, a 3 year old, than we did the little toddling two year old. His school sees it too - ready to move him up. Sharp as can be, easily excited, in love with his life - so long as it involves Beyonce more than it does sunscreen. This month he sure loved getting up in the morning and "going to see grandma" and god bless here that she was there for it, most every day - I loved it almost as much as he did. Then in the evenings when it was time to wrap it up, he just loved sitting in Papas lap and reading Mighty Tug, Magical Yet, My Truck Is Stuck, Lets Build A Highway. And I was so happy they were here and creating these memories and these happy lovely times. So healthy for him and his little brain. So blessed to have such loving parents and a loving home for our boo-boo to find his own in. I assume each month from here for awhile will be a lot like this one - with noticeable sizable shifts as he comes into his body and his voice and his emotions. And I want to be there for it. - every day, with the same alacrity that my Mom greets him first thing the morning. I want to be there for it to enjoy it and see it, as he grows and stretches, and learns, and wires up...Stay present and fertile for the changes. This is the good stuff - like when he wakes you up at 4am because the muffins must be cooled down now, or when you wake up with a monster truck under your hip in bed, or a foot in your butt crack, or even when we have to tag team putting on the pajamas, this is the good stuff. This is what I am here for. Every day.

Now the whining............... I dont know - not there yet. Maybe Month 34 will teach me that hack.

Favorite Food: Papa's Banana Bread Muffins- even willing to sleep on the kitchen floor until they cool down!

Favorite Song: "Do you want to build a snowman"

Favorite Book: Mighty Tug - BEEEP BEEEEEEEEP! a re-obsession with "My Truck Is Stuck"

Favorite Show: Trash Truck on Netflix, Buster the Bus

Favorite Toy(s): Monster Trucks from Easter Bunny

Best Phrase/ Word: "I want to watcha william show"

Favorite Favorite: Reading books with Papa, Mornings with Grandma

Least Favorite: Dry Red Cheeks

Big First:  Gave a really great gift to a friend (Otis), and finished in the top 650 in the women's bracket challenge on ESPN.

Song: Beyonce - Irreplaceable

Quote: “Toddlers will attach themselves to energies that feel comfortable to them. Because energies don't lie.” ― Mitta Xinindlu

This was 32 months This was 31 months This was 30 months This was 29 months This was 28 months This was 27 Months This was 26 months This was 25 months This was 24 Months This was 23 Months This was 22 Months This was 21 Months This was 20 Months This was 19 months This was 18 months This was 17 months This was 16 months This was 15 months This was 14 months This was 13 months This is 12 Months This is 11 months This was 10 months This was 9 months This was 8 months This was 7 months This was 6 months This was 5 months

[mosviqu]

do yall ever have random sayings or phrases stuck in your head like i dont mean songs because that happens to everyone all the time but SENTENCES ?? bc three days ago at work park jihoons "nae maeum soge jeojang!!!" kept replaying in my head over and over and i could not get it out of brain i felt like i was going insane

[yungvvolf]

god is not a man god is not a woman god is that one thing your father did to you as a child youve never been able to let go of and you weave this intrinsic narrative around said event, trying to make it greater than it actually was, trying to make him greater than he actually was, and by now it should be buried, and it is - he only did it once, only baptized you once, so long ago, yet somehow youve written a whole book about it, inked the promise that it will happen again, my father will do it once more, you'll see, ill meet god and its the act of my father staring up at me although i am much shorter than him, i am sitting down the edge of my childhood bed, and, i suppose, the edge of my childhood as a whole, too, and i am thinking he's holy, my father, you see, he must be a prophet, a messenger, kneeling before me, the last time ive ever seen him that jovial, the last time ive ever been that jovial, god was unravelling before me and i didnt know it then but i do now and i live waiting for his second coming, waiting for my second coming, god is in the words my father told me as reassurance that it didnt matter what i had just finished doing, that maybe he'll make me finish again - god is in the way my father, the doer, the giver, looked at me then; and ive never been able to forget it, it was the religion i grew up in, the one i worship, unorthodoxed but its all i have, my poems i write about the incident long buried, the residue is in my nails, im dirty but when will you rise? have i ever made you rise? i ask knowing god is so far beyond us and wont acknowledge someone as insignificant as a human down on earth, so i turn to my father, my supposed equal, but i find my lips sealed, want to ask him to pry it open so i can kiss him the question, open-mouthed and desperate, but hes not looking at me, not looking at me the way he had then, on his knees, and i cant speak, dont want to speak, cant touch him because i wouldnt be able to stop and because no amount of time is ever enough i wont just touch him ill become embedded and glued, a part of him, and what if he doesnt like that?

god died, the moment was fleeting, its been almost a decade, and how must i bring it back? bring my god back? my arms wrap around my father’s waist now, i am near his height, my bed is higher and he is older and so am i and dear god, dear, my father’s lips on my lips, how do i make it so i am back at our old house once more, at eden, where god made himself first visible to me, naked, naive, no way to differentiate between whats right and whats wrong, whats holy and whats sinful, not eve, i come after her, i know because i am tracing the apple stuck inside my fathers throat so the fruit must have been eaten by then, and, tell me, how do i graze a finger against his throat again? how do i wake my god, my god in the sound of a whine and perhaps a moan, a laugh, a giggle, my father’s reassuring phrases, gods message, He is the thing you vow your devotion to and He can be whoever, whatever you swear, you pinky-promise, you will experience again, will witness again, will cry for and pray for, alive, licking at you, searing His memory into your brain so that, once He ends, once the moment comes to an end, youre guaranteed to still mourn over the thing, after it dies, and why not dedicate your entire life creating while you wait. I can bring my god back from the grave, and what about you, his grave is my father’s warm body and once i learn how to wake him without all the attachments, without all the screaming and the puking and teenage dramatics, my god, He will sit me down the bed again, after he has washed me of my sins and I will make myself smaller so that he can once again look up at me, a god looking up at me, thats funny, but it happened once and why cant it happen again, and he is on his knees, my legs are longer and maybe thats because ive grown but also because they are stretched and spread, ill close my eyes so that the light coming for me isnt as harsh and ill know, my god, hes saving me, came back from the dead for me, through my father’s lips on my lips i have seen a glimpse of heaven