#like the other characters made me appreciate how he’s written 😭😭😭 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bisexualiteaa · 7 months ago

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Hi honey, I just discovered your Cooper fics today and oh my gods. They're incredible, I love the way you write him ❤️. I was wondering, if you're still taking requests that is (no pressure like), if you could do a sub! Cooper x reader? Preferably male!reader or with male genitalia, but fem is totally okay if you're not comfortable with that 😁. I just think Coop with a taller, more muscular partner is neat.

I'm thinking the reader was secretly married to Coop and Barb beforehand, but lost part of their memories after they became a ghoul and one of the best bounty hunters around, wearing a mask. And all they remember about Coop is how beautiful his eyes were (Walton Goggins has the most gorgeous eyes ever, I swear 😫) So the reader wants the head too and tags along with the gang, eventually getting closer to Cooper. During a fight, reader gets hurt and Coop comes over to help them, but reader is finally close enough to properly see his eyes and realises it's him. Coop takes off the mask, reader remembers, there's tears, kisses, and eventually super soft, subby sex.

So, really just really angsty, then fluffy when they find each other after 200 years. Reader taking care of our baby girl Coop, and him just accepting the love and being a pillow princess. Maybe a little overstim and edging if we're feeling spicy 😉.

I'm so sick for this man, it's unhealthy. Thanks again for your amazing work, love. I absolutely made my day better! (Sorry for how long this ask is 🙃).

It’s Been a Long, Long Time

Cooper Howard x Ghoul Fem Reader (angst-fluff!)

CW: pre-ghoul Cooper, established relationship, reader and Cooper were married and had a child together, character death, cursing, angst!! But don’t worry, it’s a happy ending, slight OOC Cooper, slight deviation from the TV series

AN: not me posting this at 3am before I leave for a trip for the weekend, I feel like I’ve depraved y’all! 😂 I wanted to post this to give y’all some good Cooper Content ™️ before I go on a three day hiatus for vacation! 🥺 Thank you all to the people who have submitted asks, I promise I am still working on them/towards getting to them! ❤️ In the meantime, I hope you all enjoy this one! @kinatanhi I hope I did your request justice! I know it’s a little tweaked from what you sent in and forgive me, I wrote this literally an hour ago at 2am because it finally came to me what I wanted to write, but seeing as it was written at 2am, y’all please forgive me if it isn’t my best work, I tried my best lol. 😭❤️

You smiled happily as you danced with your husband in your shared, quaint little kitchen, his hands coming to rest at your waist as they always did, and your arms looped around his neck. You were thankful that the producers on set of his movie, as well as his agent, allowed him to come home early in order to celebrate your birthday with you. You stood smiling up at him as you two danced- well, more like swayed, to the slow music playing from the radio. You lay your head against his chest, smiling as your eyes set on the gorgeous flowers that were lying on the kitchen counter that he brought home just for you. You smiled up at him when you caught him staring down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his gaze. “What’s that look for, hmm?” You asked with a playful smile, making him chuckle and flash that gorgeous smile of his that you loved so much, almost as much as his eyes that you swore you could be lost in forever. “Nothin’, just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful woman on this earth” he said, making you hum appreciatively at his cute answer. “Oh stop it, you charmer you” you replied, making him scoff in fake offense, making you giggle at his dramatics. “I’ll have you know I don’t go throwin’ that ‘round willy-nilly, little lady” he assured, making you smile wider at him as you laughed. “I know, I’m a lucky woman to call you my husband” you replied sweetly, getting up on your tip toes to kiss him as you looped your arms around his neck once more.

Those were better days, days when things were so simple, times where all you had to worry about was nothing more than how long the pie was in the oven, or how your baby was doing. It was a pleasant memory, one you’d never forget as the last time you’d seen your husband since the war. That night flooded your memories each time you’d lay down to close your sunken in eyes, they were the only thing about you now that remained as human as they were back before you became a ghoul. You swore to yourself that you’d find him one day, swore that you would kill the bastards that started all this, that took your baby girl away from you before she had a chance at a good life and separated you from your husband. You prayed each and every night that he was still out there, still alive somewhere, roaming the wastelands like you were. You knew it was doubtful at best, maybe it was better if he wasn’t alive to live through the shit you have, to see the way you look, but one could only hope for the better things. You no longer looked the same way you used to back then. Your soft, nearly perfect skin was now marred and leathery, your teeth yellowed from radiation exposure, poor diet and lack of ability to actually care for them, and your nose was now missing completely from your face, a deep hole sitting where the cartilaginous appendage once did. You wondered if he would even love you still in this state, if he’d even recognize you. You couldn’t blame him if he didn’t, you weren’t that same woman anymore physically or emotionally. Anger and vengeance had a hold on your heart like a vice death grip, you were kind to those who deserved it sure, but to those who crossed you? Those who hurt you? Let’s just say there’s a reason you’re a feared bounty hunter out here in the wastelands and not in a vault somewhere.

You were walking into Filly one late morning, coming to pay a visit with Ma June to see if there was anything she needed, any bounty she may have had for you for some extra caps. Your supply of chems to keep you from going feral was running low, you were down to your last bottle in your inhaler, and in desperate need of more. As you strode into town, you pulled your bandana up over your nose, effectively covering your face below your eyes, your large hat casting a shadow on the rest. You weaved your way through the vendors as they were trying to shove goods at you and anyone who was behind or around you. As you waded though, your ears caught the sound of a deep, southern accent that sounded awfully familiar to you. “I ain’t interested unless you got RadAway” he spoke harshly to the vendor haggling him, and you had to do a double take. He sounded just like your husband. You turned in the hopes to place a body to the voice but by the time you could, he was already lost into the crowd, impossible to find amongst the sea of people now that he wasn’t speaking to anyone anymore.

You huffed to yourself, wondering if maybe you were just hearing things, or maybe you were just plain out delusional at this rate. It wouldn’t shock you, between the years of radiation exposure, radiation sickness, and everything in between, you wouldn’t be shocked to find out you’d gone mad. However you wanted ever so badly for it to have been him that was speaking. To run up to him, arms outstretched, tears down your face but a happy smile as you called his name. But you couldn’t, you couldn’t even find the man attached to the voice anymore so why make a fool and draw attention to yourself. No one took kindly to ghouls. So with a heavy heart, you pushed on, making it to the doorstep of Ma June’s shop when you heard him again. “50 caps? That’s just plain ridiculous. 30, take it or leave it” he bartered, making you turn around again, only this time you caught him. You spotted a man that was tall, around the same height as your husband, clad in a wild western style cowboy outfit. You thought it was familiar, from the hat all the way down to the boots, it reminded you of him but a lot of people out here in the wastes wore Wild West themed clothes, deeming themselves cowboys and cowgirls of the wild wastelands. You wished he would turn around, you needed to see his face, hell just his eyes would be enough to sate the curiosity that was eating away at you. You’d forever recognize those eyes, they were so unique, so him. So beneath the shade you stood, observing him from a distance to be safe. That was until Ma June saw you standing there through the window of her shop, and she had a job for you that was important so she couldn’t wait for you to be done with whatever it was your were doing before she drug you inside. “What are you standin’ around out here for? I got a job for you!” She exclaimed, grabbing you and pulling you inside right as the man turned to walk away. You groaned in frustration as your only chance at an answer was stolen from you, but little did you know that your commotion made him stop to watch curiously as you went inside. Something about that dress you were wearing looked awful familiar to him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it, so he just kept walking.

As the next couple of days passed by, the curiosity was absolutely eating away at your mind. You wondered if you were on the brink of going feral with how your thoughts were screaming that it could have been him. You wished she would have waited until you could have gotten a better look at him than just his back and his clothes, though they felt familiar, akin to something he would have worn on the set to his movies, you just couldn’t be sure. So you continued on, traveling with a random person’s head in your bag, wrapped up in an old T-shirt that was soaked through with blood now as you were on your way back from your bounty for Ma June. It was a particularly hot day outside, one of those days where no matter how much water drank, you just couldn’t keep the heat away or the dehydration at bay. So as you sucked down the last of your water in your canteen, you did your best to stave off the coughing fit that was bubbling in the back of your throat like a horrible itch you just could never scratch. Unfortunately for you, it wasn’t enough, and seeing as you hit your inhaler for the last of your supply yesterday, you were shit out of luck. Damn it, you were so close too, you felt it. You couldn’t go like this, not without finding him, not without avenging your child and going after those Vault-Tec bastards that stole her and your husband from you. “Damn it!” You choked out as you clutched your chest, your coughing fit sending you to your knees in the sand where you laid in the hopes that it would let up sometime soon and you could continue moving. This couldn’t be the end for you, it just couldn’t be. You wouldn’t let it.

As you laid there, throat burning as you were hacking up your lungs, you saw a figure walking along the horizon in the distance. You wondered if maybe this was what they spoke of when people said their loved ones come and take them away right before they pass, or maybe it was just another hallucination, all you knew is that they were coming closer and closer to you. You reached for your gun with all the strength you could offer through your coughing fit and weakened state, unsure of whether they were a raider or someone with just plain ill intention. As they drew closer, you looked up to see another ghoul stabbing before you, his cowboy hat casting a slight shade over his face but even through the tears in your vision you could see his eyes. They were gorgeous, they looked just like how you remember your husband’s looked the last time you had a chance to look into them, making you look him over but it was so hard to tell. He was a man who had succumbed to the same fate you did, leathery skin, no nose, ruined ears, but his eyes…god they were so familiar. You saw him cock his head while looking at you, investigating your features, you could tell there was something about you that he was intrigued with.

“I feel your pain there, sister” he said, that southern drawl coming out sounding just like him, and god how it made your heart ache. He bent down to see you better, taking a better look at you. “I’ll be damned if somethin’ ‘bout you ain’t familiar though” he said, making you look up at him, and in that moment as he looked into your eyes, he could have sworn it was you, his long lost wife. He held hope it his heart, but it was a cruel world out here, he couldn’t be sure. “Your eyes, they look a lot like my wife’s did” he said, and you took that as your chance to see if it was really him. “C-Coo…per…?” You rasped out the best you could, needing to know if it was really him, needing to know if he was alive or if you were just going crazy. His eyes went wide for a moment before reaching for his gun, making your heart jump in your chest with anxiety. “How do you know my name?” He asked coldly, his eyes looking angrily upon you and it made your heart wrench in your chest but beat fast all the same to know it was him. “Tell me! How do you know my name?” He said angrily, making you raise your hands up to show you weren’t dangerous, you cursed your inability to speak properly or else you’d have answered his question already. “Be..cause…we were…Mar…ried” you rasped out once more, showing him your wedding ring that he bought you that rested on your ring finger, making him soften up for just a moment. “After two hundred years… could it really be?” he asked softly to himself in disbelief, but once again, he reminded himself that this world was a cruel place where people stoop to things lower than they ever did before. To him, you could have been anyone, maybe no more than a random stranger who pick pocketed that precious ring off of his wife, a total stranger playing as his beloved to get to his weakness. He pointed his gun at you once more, making tears come to your eyes even more now, had you said something wrong? Why was he mad at you? You hadn’t left on bad terms last you remember, but then again it’s hard to remember as far back as two centuries. “How do I know, huh?” He asked aggressively, and you figured it was a valid worry, you knew how awful this world was now, you couldn’t blame him for needing the reassurance. He needed to be sure it was truly you. “How do I know it’s really you?” He asked, waiting for you to stop coughing long enough to give him an answer. “What’s…that look…for?” You asked, something you always asked him when he stared at you in awe, or when he looked at you right before you two went to bed, it was like your signature phrase. You weakly removed the bandana covering your face, trying your best to show him any bit of your features left that you could use to show him it was really you. “It’s me…Coop. Y/N…” you rasped as saliva began to well in your mouth at the sight of him, slowly losing control over yourself as time passed. He’d never dropped his gun so fast, or fell to his knees so quick in his entire life than in that moment, the only other time was the moment he found out you were pregnant with his child, dropping to his knees to kiss your belly and place his hands on it excitedly. “Oh my god…Y/N” he said in utter shock and disbelief that you were here, you were alive. You were a ghoul now which hurt him to know you suffered the same pain as him, but you were alive and that’s what mattered most to him, finally having found you after all the years spent hoping you were still alive out here.

“Here baby, here, hold on. I gotchya” he said, quickly grabbing his inhaler with a vial of the chems you’d run out of last night, never needing it more than in this moment to keep you from turning feral on him. He pressed it to your lips, pushing the plunger on it to get the chems in your system. You inhaled it like a breath of fresh cool air, sending you coughing once more but that itch was slowly fading away, you could breathe again. You looked up at him as you laid there weakly, your head in his lap. “My hero” you said weakly, trying to be funny but he was too caught up in looking into your eyes, getting himself to believe what was right in front of him. “Two centuries I’ve spent looking for you…” you said, your eyes scanning him and his features to assure yourself too that this was real, that he really was sitting here before you, alive and well. Or as well as one could be as a ghoul in the wastelands. You smiled as you teared up, seeing the tears in his eyes as he looked down at you, pulling you up and into a hug. “Oh god…I can’t believe you’re alive” he said, hugging you tight and you did the same, burying your face into his shoulder. “I could say the same to you. I always knew you were stubborn, too stubborn to go out the way the rest of the world did” you said, making him chuckle as stray tears ran down your marred cheeks. “I’ve been dreaming of this day…dreaming of the day I’d get to see you and B/N again…” he said, making you grip his duster as the tears flooded down your face even more when he said your baby girl’s name. “Cooper…” you said, making him pull away from you but you weren’t far, he made sure of it. “She…she didn’t make it, honey…I’m so sorry. I tried everything, believe me I did, but it was too late…” you said, making his heart absolutely break in his chest knowing his baby was gone and that he would never have the chance to see her again.

“What was she like? She was so young when it all happened” He asked, holding your hands in his as you two shared in this moment together. You smiled as your hand cupped his cheek softly, your thumb rubbing along his skin that shared the same texture as your own. “Just like her daddy. She had your gorgeous eyes, your beautiful smile and that same stubborn attitude” you said through a laugh, making him chuckle with you as his hand came to hold the back of yours as it touched him. He missed your loving touch, and that beautiful smile that he swore could light up even the darkest rooms. He could hardly believe that you’d still even touch or speak to him now, with the way he looked. He knew you likely held a sympathy for it, knowing all too well yourself what it was like but the fact that you weren’t scared or hateful like others were towards him for it. “She was smart, funny, kind…she was daddy’s baby girl. You’d have loved that about her. It was like a little slice of you was there in her, keeping me going. She gave me hope when it felt like there wasn’t any left in this world to hold onto” you said, seeing a few stray tears stream down his cheeks as you spoke of her. His stomach was in knots, his heart filled with anger and pain to know the wastelands claimed one of his own. “I wish I coulda been there, for both of you. Maybe she’d be here if I was” he said somberly, guilt lacing his tone as he leaned his forehead against yours, not caring if your hats would come off. He needed this, he needed you. “Hey, don’t blame yourself for what happened, you had nothing to do with it. It’s those vile people at Vault-Tec who did this. They took our baby, not you. Don’t you ever think this is your fault” you assured him, holding him close to you as he expressed the most emotion he’s felt in nigh on two centuries.

“We made it pretty good all things considered, held our own well for ten years. I taught her how to use a gun when she turned eight to keep her safe should anything happen to me, did everything in my power to keep her safe, fed and hydrated even on the hard days where supplies were sparse” you explained. “The radiation just became too much for her little body to handle. She was ten years old, I could hardly believe it. It was like I woke up one day and she wasn’t a baby anymore, our little girl had just grown up so fast” you said, remembering those days as tears clouded your vision, streaming down your cheeks like small rivers, watching the droplets fall into the sand beneath you. “I’m sorry Cooper, I’m so sorry…” you apologized, making him hold you tight and hush you as you did. “I shoulda been better…if I was better maybe she’d still be here now” you said, taking the blame for something you knew you had no control over, but it left you guilty all the same. “Shh, don’t go thinkin’ like that. I’d say from the sounds of it, ya did a damn fine job managin’ that long out in this shit hole just the two of you. You always were a great mom, and an equally great wife” he said, making you sniffle as you smiled at him at that reassurance. “I did all I could, there was hell to pay for anyone who stood in my way, that’s for sure” you said, making him chuckle because that was exactly how you were before the war too. You always wanted what was best for your family, and you were willing to go great lengths to keep your husband and child happy. “I know you said you been lookin’ for me for a long time…but I ain’t the same man I was back then” he started. “But I got a feelin’ you ain’t exactly the same woman anymore either, so maybe we can still work this out, you and me” he said, making you chuckle. “No, I’m not. And if that means you don’t love me anymore I-“ you spoke but you were cut off by the feel of his lips against your own. They were thinner now, dry and marred by radiation just like yours were, but you could still feel the passion behind it, the love in it. No amount of radiation could ever take that away. “You lettin’ all the radiation get to that brain of yours? Of course I still love you. I lost ya once, I ain’t losin’ you again, that’s for damn sure” he said, making you laugh as more tears fell, only these ones were happier ones now. You squeezed his hand that was in your own as your heart raced in your chest. “You have no idea how happy that makes me to hear, Coop” you replied, kissing him once more with all the passion two hundred years of separation could hold behind it. “I love you, and I’ve missed you so damn much” you said, pressing your foreheads together once more as you fought the tears that began to turn into a sob. “I love you too darlin’, missed you like crazy. The world ain’t been the same without you” he said, making you sniffle as you felt the same way. “And if you’ll still have me, I’d like to make that a world of the past” he added, making you chuckle tearfully. “Of course I will” you said, allowing his heart to rest assured that you were still his girl, making him smile as he looked down at you, his thumb rubbing along your cheek to wipe away your tears.

You smiled back up at him, your hand coming to the back of his as you remembered the moment from your birthday again all those years ago, slow dancing in the kitchen with him. “What’s that look for, hmm?”You asked, just like you did that day, making him grin as he thought of the right words to say. “Nothin’ just that I’m lucky enough to have married the most beautiful person on this earth” he replied, making you chuckle. It was just what you’d been needing to hear all this time. “And how lucky I am to have her back in my arms where she belongs” he added, making you giggle before kissing you once more. Desert be damned, Cooper had his wife back after so long spent searching for her, and he was going to make damn sure she knew how much he missed her all these years.

#cooper howard #cooper howard x reader #fallout #fallout x reader #the ghoul #the ghoul x reader #asks #request

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crabonfire · 9 months ago

Text

sick mercs (1/3)

characters: offense class

warnings: none, fluff and crack (I think)

note: I hate making things into parts BUUTTT pyros ALONE ended up being super long, so I'm making them based off of class!! and...its 2 am so I should probably be asleep instead of writing anyway. Parts 2 and 3 will feature the other classes, and will be written tomorrow! Cause its late and I'm tired! okay love u

no but why did I make pyros so long 😭 it was a whole fic wtf

reposts and shares appreciated (u///u)<3

♡Scout♡

•When he's sick he's SUPPPERRR dramatic over it cause when he was a kid his ma was super doting and stuff, and since he was the youngest it made sense. But with you he tries to be all suave and tough, not wanting to admit the fever he has is absolutely killing him, oh the runny nose he has? That's just cause...he...ate something spicy. Not cause of a flu, no...

•He makes an effort to not talk or see the team at all today, and weirdly, he only ever gets sick on ceasefire days. It's like his body isn't used to not doing anything and that gives him a chance to do a bunch of stupid stuff, that, in the end, gets him sick.

•So he's stuck in his room. When you or anyone else knock on his door he pretends he's asleep, and sometimes, he really is. But, when you catch him in the kitchen stealing one of Heavy's sandwiches, he's sniffling, his face slightly red (redder than usual) his expression one like a kicked puppy.

•When you confront him about it, he just acts like he's not sick.

"I'm not sick, okay?"

But when you put your foot down, getting him back to bed and getting the right medicine from the medic, he has this certain look on his face. His cheeks are red, probably because of his fever, but, it might also be caused by you.

The moment your voice turns soft, or stern, depending on how kind you wanna be to his stubbornness, his lips curl into a grin, and immediately he whines and melts, acting like his sickness is the end of the world.

"Ah, my head...ohhhh my head. Hurts so bad. Maybe if ya kiss it...I'll feel better." He says, his voice weak as he closes his eyes, shifting in bed like some sort of damsel in distress.

• He'd be real obedient as you give him medicine and stuff, and stare up at you with bright eyes, as if the little fucker wasn't acting so brave about it before. The moment anyone walks in or sees him being doted, he'll push you away (maybe even physically, in panic) cause he's scared to ruin his reputation.

But when they're gone, he'll apologize and cling to you like a parasite. Muttering and mumbling incoherent things for your attention. He's an ass, but he loves you.

• He'd always tell you how much he appreciates you as you stay by his side, his very dizzy and sick brain making him slur his words, that cheeky grin still plastered on his face.

"You care about me...haha."

"You're so sweet, you love me, don't you?"

You know how some people get super weird and sorta high when they're super sick? Yeah that's scout with you.

♡Soldier♡

• Like Scout, absolutely DENIES that he's sick.

"SICKNESS AND DISEASE IS MERELY A HOAX! AN EXCUSE CREATED BY COMMUNISTS TO SPREAD THEIR LIES ABOUT AMERICAN- ACHOO-"

• Entire day there's a gigantic frown on his face, he cannot stop sneezing. He sneezed on Scout, and Scout was convinced that he was gonna die.

Engineer is the first to speak up after seeing the soldier violently sneeze without closing his nose. But, his stubbornness gets in the way and he merely brushes him off. Then, half the team begs you to talk to him. So you do.

"Hey Soldier, uh, you...you're looking a little pale."

"PALE? WELL, I GUESS MY SKIN HAS BEEN LOOKING GOOD TODAY!"

You chuckled, "No, pale in a bad way. And I notice you've been sneezing a bunch, are you feeling okay? Did you catch a cold?"

He frowns, and yet again, denies any accusation that he's sick. It doesn't take long, though, when you convince him to stay in his room (or yours, which he'd prefer) so you could "surprise" him. He takes that as an invitation for something else and was a little disappointed when he realized it was a trick to get him to rest.

"Wait...THIS IS A TRAP! YOU'VE TRAPPED ME! HELP-"

He starts to yell as you take his helmet off. You simply laugh, placing it nearby. "Yeah. I trapped you, and now, I order you to stay in bed while I go get some medicine. Am I clear?"

He scoffs at your command. "And what if I DON'T stay?" He remarked, you frowned. "Then you'll be disappointing all the...Americans that spent so much time curating and- crafting the very medication that keeps us healthy."

You made that shit up on the spot, but you knew whenever you spoke to him like a commander did, he'd always listen. He thought about it for a moment and grumbled in reply;

"Fine."

• He does as you ask, staying completely still in bed, staring up at the ceiling with a frown, occasionally muttering things to himself as if this very action is the worst thing in the world. When you come back, tray in hand with medicine and a glass of water, his expression softens slightly.

You sit down on the bed, he sits up, and as you hand him the medicine, something warm grows in his chest. He stays silent as he takes the medicine reluctantly, before he stares at you with an unreadable expression.

You smile ask what's wrong but he shakes his head. A big grin appears on his face as he realizes something and he chuckles, but he doesn't tell you what he's thinking about.

"Thanks, cupcake."

• You take care of him, keeping a watch on him for a while as you beg him to get some rest for his cold. He agrees but only if you stay with him, and you do. He holds you tightly as he braves through his cold, head nuzzled in your shoulder as your treated like a Teddy bear.

He felt happy. Someone cared for him, and he didn't know why, but that realization made his heart feel full. Not the type of full he'd usually feel after a hard victory, or the type of full he'd feel after messing around with demoman all day, but a type of full he could feel only with you. He really cared for you, and he was honored you cared for him just as much.

♡Pyro♡

• You could honestly never tell pyro was sick. Sometimes they'd spend days with you as normal, very much sick, but they'd never show it. That's also because they had a strong immune system, and only got sick every couple of years or so.

The one time they've ever gotten sick around you, was during the hottest day in Teufort. Everyone was sweating their asses off, so you could imagine how bad it was for them. Having to be around fire, wearing a heavy, thick, fire retardant suit all day? Oh, it was bad.

They sat at the locker room for longer after battle had ended, seemingly staring off into the distance. Everyone else had left, so did you. But when they didn't come out for an hour or so you checked in on them, visibly worried.

"Pi? You okay?"

You saw them, still sitting in the same bench, looking off into the ground. You walked over to them, placing a hand on their shoulder. They jolted, as if awoken from a deep sleep. They turned their head, their breathing was loud in the quiet room, but it was heavy and ragged. You frowned in worry.

"What's wrong?"

• They muffled something even you couldn't understand, their voice was quiet, before they shook their head and got up. They almost stumbled, but you kept their balance. They leaned their head on your shoulder, and you could feel the heavy breaths they exhaled through their mask. You turned to them, placing a hand on their shoulder.

"It's a hot day, huh? Can't be feeling too good especially in that suit of yours."

They mumbled in reply, and you took that as a sign that they must've been real affected by the heat today. "Lets get you to your room, I'll get you a nice cold glass of water, okay?"

• You headed back to their room, allowing them to sit for a bit as you went and got some ice cold water. You sat by, the door locked as they lifted off their mask to take a sip. You could feel the heat they radiated, even from a short distance.

"Pi, I think you might have a fever."

They chugged down the water, before turning to you, lifting their mask back down. They went quiet for a moment before they nodded. You frowned, "Why didn't you say anything?" They shrugged, shaking their head. "Mmh mmhf mmh mmh mmhf mmhf mm mmhf." (I didn't think I was sick at first.)

You sighed, before humming. "I'll go get some medicine, you should probably lie down- maybe take the suit off first. I won't look if it'll make you uncomfortable." You stared at them, waiting for their response. They paused hesitantly, before nodding.

• When you got back, they were in bed, gas mask still on, but now in their tank top and unicorn themed shorts. They didn't show their body often, as they felt insecure of the scars they had. When they saw you, they pulled the blanket up to their chest, which you didn't comment on.

You walked over with a large bottle of water and some medicine, placing it on a nearby table.

"Medic said you just need some rest and a lot of water, so...don't forget to drink."

You didn't quite know what to do with the pyro. They were quiet, which, to you wasn't that unusual. But you could feel the nervousness, and you felt worried, as they didn't seem too good. They murmured a "thank you," staring up at you as you sit by them.

"Do you want me to leave?"

In truth, you didn't want to, and they didn't want you to either. But you didn't want to make them uncomfortable, as the only other times they've showed their body to you were in intimate situations. You didn't want to overwhelm them, but you wanted to take care of them. They shook their head, before mumbling;

"Mm mmhn mmhf mm mmhh mmhf mm mmhn mmhnf mmh." (You don't have to stay if you don't want to.)

"I'll stay for a bit. You need your rest and.. I wanna make sure you're okay."

That sentence could make them melt if the heat wasn't already doing that to them. They let out a hoarse giggle. You always made them swoon, even if the things you said weren't overly romantic. It always meant a lot to them, as they never really had someone who cared.

That noise always made you smile, as you stared down at them. It was silent for a while as you two looked at each other. Even under the mask you could tell they had a smile. You've only ever seen that smile once, and the thought of it makes your heart race. You soon broke the silence, slowly getting up.

"Drink your meds and get some sleep, okay?

• As you left, they couldn't help but smile. They got up to lock the door, before taking off their mask and flopping into bed. Not forgetting to do as you said, they fall fast asleep with you on their mind.

Even in their dreams your their, and even with this small, common gesture of caring for them, they cant help but feel a bit weak in the knees when they think of you. They thought the engineer was sweet, but you? They should call you sugar.

It was the first time they had someone worry so much, the way you frowned at them made their chest tighten, and weirdly, in a reaffirming way. In a way that made them realize they weren't so bad, and they were capable of being cared for.

Maybe they were getting too into it, but they didn't care.

♡♡♡♡

I did not expect pyros to be long. Like I was writing and suddenly as I was looking back I realized how much I was yapping. Shit. Anyway, defense and support classes will be written by tomorrow, probably the one or both. Yay!

#tf2 #tf2 x reader #tf2 headcanons #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout x reader #tf2 soldier x reader #tf2 pyro x reader #tf2 offense classes #tf2 offense #tf2 fanfiction #tf2 fanfic #love u pyro #was in a pyro kinda mood writing this so yeah theirs is the longest #crabonfire

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sparksandspells · 3 months ago

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for all our days and all our trials // the damen/laurent wedding fic

When Laurent set out to plan a royal wedding between two 1) men, who are 2) actively ruling kings, of 3) tenuously peaceful lands, with 4) widely-known reasons to have killed, or possibly 5) still kill each other, he expected the process to come with a few difficulties. He did not expect getting his perpetually amorous new husband aroused on their wedding night to be the hardest of them. (Or: ‘Not in front of the court,' said Laurent, as if this were unspeakably foolish, 'in front of the Council.’)

Read on AO3.

it's here!! it's done!! after three years of sporadic work, it's finally out in the world!! 😭😭😭 i may be biased but this is my favorite thing i've ever written and i'm so excited to finally share it with everyone!!

big huge thanks to @ming85, @delilahsdaydream, and @i-am-a-story-goblin for responding to my call for betas two years ago; y'all's suggestions made the fic way better than it would've been otherwise. (a round of applause especially for ming85, who saved an ancient tapestry from the horror of grass stains and generally made the wedding event much more kingly than i, in my infinite unwordliness, had intended to.)

thanks also to @damiaanos for being my wall to bounce things off of more recently as i finally committed to getting this thing done no matter what. legitimately don't know how i would've managed it without your excellent balance of "you can do it" and "it's fine, stop stressing". if any other perfectionists are reading this, find people like that, they're great.

shoutout to @slecnaztemnot for throwing me the idea of putting Loyse on the Council when i had been stuck on the fifth member for a year, and gratitude to @kingsrising for being a visible fandom hub that i could turn to when i needed community and had no idea where to look for it

fandom is the best and i'm really excited to start being a more active part of capri's

as i mentioned, i've been talking about this fic on tumblr for over two years, so i will now proceed to tag every person who interacted with either of those posts, on the off chance that they would appreciate receiving an update on this fic that is now a real thing that they can go read (if they wish to, obvi)

from the kingsrising ask: @ladykyrin, @afantasyghost, @gildedgaze, @westealtoys, @timburtonknewmyoceans

@plushdragon, @blue-eyed-korra, @foreverskies29, @bumblebee-whiskey, @stardust-at-midnightt,

@brinkleyheights, @lavendercoded, @meraki-ii, @nonothatsano, @not-a-coral-snake

and from the call for betas: @caeli-phantomhive, @laurents-laces, @jaks21, @auroralunasoleil, @captaindamianos

@airebellah, @certainbirdkitty

@marrieddorks, @i-want-delfeur, @morgenti, @goose-fish, @farrukh-schumann,

@theoverlyenthusiasticwriter, @p1n4ta, @deleteitold, @lovelovelove, @hennike

@nczakiis, @theoraclephobetor, @angelshineyourlightonme, @naisvalta, @pienenpienileppakerttu,

@aristosakielon, @foreverfraancis, @fangirlfortress, @whynotme12, @naturaldisaster,

@gutstrings, @dreamerthief18, @aladybetween2majors, @k04, @burntpercy

#captive prince #laurent of vere #damianos x laurent #lamen #damianos of akielos #captive prince fic #mine #my writing #ok TAKE TWO let's try this again #apparently tumblr prevents new accounts from appearing in tags or mentioning people #which seems like a reasonable tactic to prevent spam or w/e but i kinda WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT before posting this the first time #so apologies if you've been tagged twice i promise i'm not trying to spam you i'm just 97% sure nobody got a notification a week ago #anyway so far the response to this fic has been incredibly lovely <3 #someone said my writing was 'exquisite' so. y'know. *flips hair*

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ghouldtime · 2 months ago

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i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

#ghouldtimetalks #cod fandom rant #rant #vent #going a little insane in the membrane #insane in the brain #call of duty #cod

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lowkeyren · 3 months ago

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Hii I hope I'm not intruding, but I was overcome with the urge to rant after I read your alhaitham childhood sweetheart fic. Truly amazing piece of work. Genuinely, my jaw is hanging. I had to clutch my heart in fear it would grow legs and leap out of my chest. Was absolutely swooning.

Anyways. I just wanted to say how Fanfiction is one of the best things to ever exist in this world. It has the potential to ruin and destroy but also heal and fulfill. And I can't appreciate artists enough in this regard because they bring to life, life. If that makes sense. They color a black and white world. They fill the heart with so much imagination and instill so much hope. Love exists because of their creative liberty. And the way writers incorporate all these seemingly minor details to a character just builds them in a light we either yearn for or relate to. I'm rambling this off to you solely because of how much I love alhaitham and how much your fic truly brought me to life. It was insanely well written in my eyes. I loved alhaithams portrayal. I loved the idea.

You captured it so well that i could taste the sweetness of a sweet on my tongue. Oooh and that little moment with alhaitham, cyno, nari and kaveh left me grinning so hard. LIKE I LOVE THE DIALOGUE. nothing too wow or dramatic but it fits and flows o well together with the characters and the story. oh lord and when alhaitham meets us at the end. I'm in love with the way he loves us. [without waiting for an answer, you decide to indulge him, linking your pinky with his. as your thumbs briefly touch, you catch the look in his eyes —serious, yet with a softness that makes your heart skip. “a promise that i’ll be by your side as long as sugar tastes sweet,” he says, his voice low and sincere.] This needs to be framed and hung on my wall. AS LONG AS SUGAR TASTES SWEET? GET OUT OF HERE. adorable. Heart twisting, gut wrenching. I'm rolling on the dirt floor crying. And then u have him say ["so come back with me"]

I'm in a romantic mood. I'll go cry about this. Not getting over it ever. You're amazing. Thank you

YOU😭🥺💧Eu💧💧E E😭😭 E EUE🥺🥺😭UUUUE😭🥺💧🥺😭 ue 💧ee😭🥺💧ue 🥺e e e😭e💧🥺😭Uueuuue💧💧you😭🥺ee e🥺🥺😭eUEE 💧🥺💧EEE 💧💧😭U E 🥺😭EE H💧🥺😭E EUU💧🥺😭yo u🥺💧😭EUEH🥺😭💧💧ue e😭😭eeeeee💧💧💧uu🥺😭 euuuee😭🥺YOUUU🥺😭💧

HEYA NO URE NOT INTRUDING AT ALL!!!! u actually made my made my whole week. no joke :') TYSM FOR READING THE FIC IM SO GLAD PPL LIKED IT AHHHHHH

your ask legit left me speechless for like 3 days straight. to hear that my fic had that kind of impact on you, esp on alhaitham's characterization, is beyond rewarding. genuinely, thank you for taking the time to share your comments with me —it seriously means the world to me!!!! (GOD URE SO SWEET URE SO SWEET URE SO S— cavities.)

AND YOU LOVING THE DIALOGUE? THANK YOU, I STRUGGLED WITH THAT SO MUCH ARRUGHHH (cus i was like dang this is such a perfect chance to include a 4ggravate scene but i was so worried i wld mischaracterize them LMAO)

dw i lowkey giggled at alhaitham's last few lines too (so come back w me / as long as sugar tastes sweet) i tried out other lines, but i ended up sticking with these ones because it felt the most impactful to me SO IM THRILLED TO HEAR THAT OTHERS THINK SO TOO (˶˃ �� ˂˶) .ᐟ.ᐟ

you, you're amazing, dear reader. thank you for your kind words, you lovely wonderful sweet soul <3

#✧renanswers!#hand over mouth #puts you into a blender #shakes you aggressively #ily pookie bear /p #HELP SORRY IVE BEEN REREADING UR ASK FOR LIKE 3 DAYS #I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO REPLY THIS IS SO SWEET AUHJAUHEWUJEKMAD #UGLY CRYING SOBBING SHITTING TEARS IM SO TOUCHED UHJEEHWJNM #ur ask is getting printed out and pasted on my wall cus WTH :( <3 #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham x you #genshin fanfic #ur ask was sweeter than my whole fic i cant anymore help /pos #im drowning in my own tears

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writingwhimsey · 5 months ago

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Okay just finished reading Hideyoshi’s sequel for the first time. Blissful route ending. But like...DAMN! Thoughts below the cut (spoilers ahead).

Okay this route WREAKED HAVOC on my heart. This is legit the first time I have ever cried (and ugly cried) from this game (have come close but this one just really hit me).

Like MC not only not being able to touch those she loves but her touch actually causing them PAIN! AND IT COULD EVENTUALLY KILL THEM?!

The damage that that would do to you mentally. And when she's thinking of committing suicide...I was 😭! Her pain and hopelessness felt so real and raw.

And then to turn Hideyoshi into the type that would burn the world for MC?! Turn pur sweet sunshine man into this beast?! I know they've hinted at it before but he REALLY took it there in the sequel. And that was one of the things I loved though. I love a man who would turn against the world for turning against me. Favorite type of fictional man.

And I fucking swear..KICHO PISSED ME OFF AND DISGUSTED ME! He's definitely been twisted in other routes...but he seems the most unhinged to me in this one. He made an aide fall in love with him in order to experiment on how far the physical pain would go! And then blinded the poor man and killed him with his voice...literally making his flesh melt off!!! The actual fuck?! How can you justify that?! And how is that finding life previous?!

Okay...loved Ranmaru and Kennyo being silent protectors of MC and just constantly showing up when needed. It was beautiful.

Loved the banter between Hideyoshi and Mitsuhide. And I adored when we got to our happy ending ALL OF THE GUYS DOTING ON MC!!! And making Hideyoshi jealous in the process. Man even scolded Nobunaga!

Happy ending was appreciated after the heartbreak that was the rest of it. Seriously ripped my heart out and stomped on it. But that just means it was so well written and just shows how much I love these characters.

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikesen hideyoshi #spoilers #hideyoshi sequel #had me in tears #literal tears #ugly crying

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barbieb0y · 23 days ago

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okay. i finished the 2.0/floor it! to the golden city event story. thoughts/ramble under the cut bc spoilers

i feel like. the plot is kinda all over the place ?? it starts off with this legers dude wanting to meet with j for "a slice of that new age market pie" which means .... what exactly? am i just dumb?? i still dont get what he wanted from j that has to do with the new age market and/or manus vindicslay. i'd appreciate it if someone can explain to my dumbass. but then, understandably so, the j gang sees legers and his cronies as a threat to haight street. and then it leads to ... j wanting to visit his sister paulina/polly at the foundation

i feel like there couldve been a better lead-up to this other than "man we shouldve left like polly did but now we gotta deal with some baddies". like idk it feels abrupt to just cut to them visiting the foundation. but then theyre like oh polly couldnt have died bc her hand doesnt match this old pic we have of her and it's kinda silly and they raise a commotion and bla bla bla the foundation chases after them bc of it (i find it funny how thats how they get the foundation in on the bigger problem thats brewing underneath everything). matilda is tasked with catching the men and then through matilda's diviner skills, they confirm that polly's dead. manus vindicslay comes to stir shit up again so matilda's like okay fine i'll help you guys

fast forward they stumble upon the underground market blah blah blah mercuria is evil ⁉️ except i actually. dont understand what her role is here. like at first i thought that might be the point of her character bc she never stays in one place so she never stays in one role but idk. for someone who seems to be so important in this event, her motivations are unclear. but anyway

i dont understand the whole "oh we planned this all along" think they pulled either like??? what. did they plan exactly? the ambush and j faking a death and working alongside legers?? none of this was explained properly right??? or am i dumb???? ngl when i was playing through that scene i was like "are they expecting the audience to be smart enough to piece everything together?" my mind started to wonder like if they pulled a persona 5 and have a whole scene explaining their plan, would that be underestimating their audience? MAN IDK BUT THEY DIDNT SAY SHIT ABOUT THIS PLAN UNTIL THAT SCENE PLAYED. i definitely related to matilda in that moment 😭😭😭

but anyway what i liked and not-confusing about this event is the characterization of the characters (aside from mercuria). everyone feels consistent, from j all the way to eternity. im glad the quality of the character writing is still intact at least, for the most part

the character dynamics are also quite well-written, especially between j and polly. it's as heart-wrenching as i expected it to be. thinking about it actively gives me emotional damage. the fact that it took me more than a dozen chapters for me to realize that j sees polly in matilda. seeing his friendships is also heartwarming and it showcases j's personality quite well. his dynamic with pioneer is also cute. theres always something funny coming out of their dialogue when they interact

the setting is an interesting choice, it's enlightening to see how it impacts the worldview of the characters and their motivations. the poverty, disease, crime, and neglect of it all. the new age market is intriguing is a nice choice to get a lot of people of different backgrounds and stuff to gather in one place. not much to say beyond that

tldr: i dont know what the hell happened story-wise but it Happened but i truly love all the characters in it and how they interact with each other and their environment. this event story brought me Massive Pain™️, especially when paulina is on screen

not my fave event (which may be surprising bc j is in this event, i know), rayashki takes the cake for that, but i would be lying if i said i dislike this event. in fact, it's made me want to cry a few times. if it wasnt for the confusing pacing, i wouldve been more moved

#the internet angel speaks ♡#reverse 1999 #reverse: 1999 #re99 #re1999 #r1999 #r99

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skyfallscotland · 4 months ago

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Hi! I hope you’re feeling better. 💜

When I’ve heard writers talk about their process, some outline a character before they start writing and outline everything- the charcater’s history, personality, etc. While other writers say the character “talks” to them as they write and they don’t plot a lot out before hand. I’m curious- how much of Remi’s personality did you determine before you started writing? For example, did you know she was wonderfully snarky before you started writing? Did you always know she struggled with depression?

I know you’ve written other OC’s too. Has your process changed since writing Tessa and co?

Hi!

I...am incapable of lying lol. I'm not really, but I appreciate the sentiment 💗 Not looking for sympathy, just keeping it real 💀 The depression be doing some depressing. But hey, *sobs as I smash at my keyboard* it makes for great content!

I don’t hear it. I can’t hear anything but the pounding of my own heart and one memory on repeat. You can love someone and hate them a little at the same time. My mind is stuck on that. I know he loves me, but—he hates me, he hates me, he hates me—I fucked things up.

I never outline an entire character before I start writing. I have an idea in my head, but not a whole profile. I don't even name them until I'm part way through a story, they're "Name" usually until like chapter five-ish and then I hate their names until like chapter ten.

The case of Remi is a little different, honestly I've kind of done things backwards. When I created Tessa I had an idea of what her personality would be, based on what she'd been through living in Illyria and there were small parts of myself I incorporated into her, like her struggle with social settings and relationships. With Stella I was more just having fun, but keeping in mind the (broad overview) history I had planned for her. They do kind of just write themselves, if I'm honest. It's why I like to write ahead, because I only ever have a broad plan in mind.

I don't know that I ever really planned to publish BRV outside of like a little wattpad adventure. It was entirely self-indulgent. I tried very hard with Tessa and Stella to have them be...measured? I guess you'd say. To not pour too much of myself into them.

Remi was cathartic. There's so much of me in her. She was my 'whatever, it's not serious' character and story. I just threw whatever I wanted at the page without worrying about whether things were realistic or too self-indulgent and I guess that worked for a lot of people.

I knew she'd be snarky and a realist and that she wouldn't be as settled as Violet with her chronic illness. I knew she'd be depressed and quick to anger because that's me and my experience and it was a therapeutic process pouring all that out onto the page. So I guess I didn't really need to determine anything, I just wrote from the heart. She's almost self-insert. It's made it really comforting that people relate to her so well, because it feels like they relate to me, when no one else does outside of the internet.

It's funny because I'm trying (and never making time) to plot out the original novel I plan on writing and there's this voice in my head like saying I have to be measured and I have to plot out these characters first and their whole histories and personalities because it's a Serious Thing, but then I'm reminded that the character I wrote who resonated the most with people was just me throwing my unhinged feelings into the void, so???

Also, I had intended my first original fantasy novel (featuring a chronically ill fmc and dragons) to have two main characters—Remi and Caden. Then Fourth Wing came out and I screeched in fury. I used the name for BRV anyway, but... 🙃

And the MMC for my sports romance is named Liam and I wanted to give the FMC a nice tough girl name like Sloane 😭 but I guess the universe said fuck you, again, so that's a nope, so if anyone has suggestions here I am.

#amy’s mail ✨💌

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kestrel-bee · 2 months ago

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I just finished ISAT, and. Wow. I am in shambles after Act 5 holy FRICK

Okay, now that I’m done, time to dump all of my thoughts out at once, because I NEED to talk about this game holy crap

(spoilers abound from this point, don’t read if you are interested in playing for yourself)

(CW for discussing religion-related struggles with sexuality, if that’s something that bugs ya)

Okay, for starters, I just want to talk about how well executed this game is.

The gameplay was interesting and not too hard to understand while still being unique and fun, the illustrations and art style was really cute and charming, the character designs are recognizable yet creative, the writing is entertaining and made me love all of the characters in a very quick fashion, and the story overall was just FANTASTIC.

Literally my only complaint is that i had a tricky time adjusting to how sensitive the controls were when walking. Maybe it works better on desktop, but I was playing on the Steam Deck, and the only other platform I can play on is Mac, which this game does not support.

But honestly this ended up being a nonissue, I figured it out pretty quickly and after an hour or so I had the controls down to pat.

I also love how they handled the concept of a time loop, and the slow descent of Siffrin’s mental downfall. The way he started getting so desperate at the end, clinging to every scrap of hope he could find was heart wrenching.

Act 5 was KILLER, omg, I was so wrecked over it I had to take a break to calm down 😭

It’s not often a piece of media evokes THIS much emotion out of me, holy crud.

To talk about some of the characters,

I LOVE me some found family fluff, and boy oh boy was I fed, they’re so wholesome, they’re all so skrunkly 😭

I loved the little snippets of representation in these characters, with Odile being mixed race and attempting to connect to her roots, and Isabeau’s very trans-coded backstory. And yk, the multitude of gays and lesbians throughout the game XD

Even though that kind of representation doesn’t resonate with me personally, I still like to see it.

But oh man, Mirabelle’s cutscene in Act 3 hit hard. I myself am aroace and religious, and marriage was always something I felt was expected from me.

As I got older and realized that romantic attraction wasn’t really something I feel for people, I tried to convince myself I was attracted to a good friend of mine who had a crush on me, which obviously didn’t work out.

I’ve always had a hard time identifying with womanhood in the way my church has always portrayed it as, so having Mirabelle talk about her faith related struggle with her asexuality and identity was such a comforting representation for me.

Another thing, I can’t tell if it’s intentional or not, but I love how neurodivergent coded they are?

Like, we have Siffrin, kinda touch averse and quiet,

Odile who doesn’t like change and needs her routine alone time to recuperate after every floor,

Mirabelle and Isabeau, the funny noise appreciation squad, the hyper-empathetic duo who would always get over hyped over things together,

And while I can’t think of a specific example for them, Bonnie is always there matching Mirabelle and Isabeau’s energy.

Not to mention the frequent amount of times the latter 3 would repeat each other (echolalia) when saying something fun or happy. (Like the “Pie Smell!” candle).

Do these things on their own make them neurodivergent? No, but the way they’re consistently written like this feels very intentional and I love it.

Anyway, whoof, that was very long, but TLDR: this game was PHENOMENAL, and I will be recommending it to everyone I know

#kess’ ramblings #in stars and time

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quinnonimp · 2 months ago

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whatre ur thoughts on canto 5 (so far) i need to hear it

OKAY SO gathering my thoughts on it is difficult unfortunately since i focus on getting through all the gameplay first, theeen go back to reread the canto to fully focus on whats going on u_u but !!

the intervallo was fun !!!! lowkey wish it was a real beach episode but obviously that would never happen in limbus (made me want to draw a real one though) . the 3 scrapyarders have a fun dynamic w the team & it was as cute as intervallos usually are (i really love intervallos .. & just general side content . i eat that shit up)

as a splatoon fan ofc ill like the sea aesthetic of it all .. rip ishmael she wouldve loved splatoon . plus fish ice cream is a funny idea im glad charon enjoyed it lmao, was nice to know that her & verg hung out in town

fun to hear saude is alive ! im not particularly attached to any of the npcs but im glad she got promoted . the lccb guy w brown curly hair looks like me and i was surprised when he showed up

i found ishmaels behavior & mindset pretty interesting ! to me shes sort of in the middle tier of characters-i-like - but so far this canto has written her in a very effective way, and i appreciate characters that have an extreme sense of determination & care, and her quest for revenge is compelling

yi sang being seasick is terribly relatable it made me like him more LMAO . i enjoy how much more talkative he is rn even if i dont have a deep connection to his character . my feelings on him after canto 4 have definitely improved (he used to be at the bottom tier together w 2 others 💀), & also bc i got his walpurgisnacht ID and im a huge funeral of the dead butterflies fan ..

I HATE RICARDO 😭😭😭😭 yes its a skill issue . but i also dont rly like his character i dont think hes that funny . being stuck on his stage was genuinely frustrating esp with the thought that the final boss of the canto is gonna be even more difficult . sorry . i know a lot of ppl love him and im sure his stage was fun mechanically to someone

the scene where we learn dante has a self destruct button was so much less sad to me than it shouldve been bc when it was explained i got mega distracted thinking abt barbwire (my oc) ..... woops .. still really liked that scene though . dante holds the number one fave spot together w don for me so im always invested when we get focus on them, and this in particular was impactful, especially with faust being clear about their chances of survival in that moment and the indigo elder telling them to "get used to the idea that not everything can be brought back" . themes of permanence & temporariness are super appealing to me and i love extracting that out of dante

when the indigo elder got revealed i was immediately like "oh yeah dons gonna freak tf out with 2 whole color fixers on the same bus" . i was right . she shouldve been allowed to have a way bigger reaction though i mean this is a huge deal .. anywho i like him ! he might be the npc i find most intriguing so far, and im very interested in seeing him & ishmael interact more

so yeah uhmmmmmmm thats what ive got so far while doing a mirror dungeon . im at 5-32 (shoutout to my friends list for getting me past 5-30), so once ive finished the canto i might add onto this post if u wanna hear more or ask specific things !

#voyagerscompass #mailbox #quinnotalk #tumblrimp

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wrongcaitlyn · 4 months ago

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So someone out there in the tyt/tgol universe must be writing at least some fanfiction right?? I don’t know what it would be about but probably a lot of the standard y/n and x reader fics mixed with some stuff about the lunchtable group. However, someone must be writing the pollen and piper x shell fics. And then there’s also Naomi x Apollo, Percabeth, and just the fact that it would be real person fiction for them also makes me so envious lmaoo 😭😭 But back to the point of my ask, are the characters reading it? Because I’d like to believe that they would, they may even write some themselves (cough cough Kayla cough cough) but I just don’t think some of them would be able to resist the urge to go on Ao3 like the rest of us. Like even if it was just pure curiosity and not for casual enjoyment. And then imagine their shipping culture and their tumblr and they (the fans) must be having so much fun knowing that a ship being canon means it’s like real life and oh my god THE MEET AND GREETS. I usually don’t care too much for celebrities and are fine with just appreciating their art but I’d actually feel previously unknown levels of excitement if I could meet legit anyone from the main cast of tyt. And like I’m totally yapping right now, but it reminds me of when my mom was like “yk I would’ve gotten you eras tour tickets if you told me about it sooner right?” And I was like “huh 😀” So yeah if I could get the equivalent but make it a Nico concert that mistake would’ve never made made on my watch. But this must be what the bts fanfiction authors kinda feel like except we’re all forced to watch from afar and the people in the actual universe get to have all the fun, and they get to have all of our celebrities too so they get extra but at least we get your fics so they’re at a significant loss too so ig that’s how we even the playing field.

ohh they definitely are. i don't know if there'd be much pollen fics, because they weren't very popular at the time- maybe more *now* after, like, pictures of them with kayla at archery competitions and stuff. shel/piper would be more like piper/reader or piper/oc, seeing as shel isn't publicly dating her, and people don't really know who she is- though i'm sure that some people would come up with oc's that are relatively close to herjkfsd

percabeth and naomi/apollo DEF have a few fics, and now i'm just thinking of someone writing an au where naomi lives and they get back together after many years... it wouldn't happen, ofc, but i think someone would definitely write it. there's a lot of au potential with them, at least from an outside perspective, if someone sees them as a right person wrong time sort of romance (it isn't, in my head, not in this au, but it could be seen that way)

solangelo and valdangelo are probably the most popular, just nico has,,, sort of, maybe nearly, surpassed jason and piper in fame at this point? maybe not jason, but seeing as piper took a step back over the recent years, he's definitely growing further. so jasico would prob also be popular, though i think the more... crazed fans would like the childhood friends to lovers trope more with will and leo! prob even some will/leo/nico with how codependent they all are LMAO

i think KAYLA would 100% read silly fics as a laugh, just so that she could quote them to her friends, bc she'd think it's hilarious. there may even be like one nico/kayla fic (which, ew) and she's just sitting there CACKLING over it bc nico's character couldn't be so wrong. neither could hers, for that matter.

other than that, i think i wrote before that shel has def written fanfic, and so has lou ellen, though i think lou ellen wrote more, like, fictional stories fanfic, not real people. and shel might've too- as a rule, i tend to stay away from writing real people into fanfics unless it's like, mentioning an actor/singer in passing

but you are literally SO REAL FOR THIS god i wish i could see a nico di angelo concert live. like fr all my problems would be solved it'd just be so nice. im srsly so jealous of the people in the tyt universe for just getting them as real life celebrities😭

#wrongcaitlyn #talk ur talk asks

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hidden-poet · 4 months ago

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0/10 Edmund should have come back to life, rescued us from the capitol, killed snow and taken us back to district 12 🙄.

Jk jk that was so good 😭 it makes me so sad though because she was never going to have a good ending, even right from the start snow was never going to give up. And yet my heart still broke as I read this.

Just little things like how she lies on the grass even when they bring her a picnic blanket is just 😭😭 she just misses home so much IM CRYING NOW WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

this was so well written and I was so angry like I just wanted a happy ending for our girl 😭 Yk I’ve never read a snow fic where snow doesn’t win.

I’ll have to read again when I have the emotional capacity and I’m sure I’ll notice more. But when you get the supply closet scene and it’s just a reminder that he will NEVER change and her words have never and will never mean anything to him :(( and she just has to accept it.

when she’s talking about how he hasn’t hit her in years but she’s sure it’s just because she’s always either pregnant or with one of the babies 😭😭😭😭 you broke my heart. Our poor girl. She’s forever scared of him. when she steps back from him bc she thinks he’s going to hurt her for asking to see her family even right after birth. CRYING.

He was so much worse in this part than any other imo. The manipulation. and here we (me) were thinking he would calm the fuck down once he had her in the capitol 😭.

omfg when he says he “had” to name the baby without her 🙄 boy you’re the president you know full well you could have waited for her.

The BJ scene made me laugh though. He is just a man 😂.

This man makes me SICK 😭 I know what I get into with fics with PRESIDENT SNOW like I said they never end with reader having any semblance of independence.

thank you for this masterpiece. I will be out of action crying for the next week. As an Edmund stan I’m still hurt 🥲. They *should* have been his babies.

long time anon with my long messages but thought I’d not this time since if I could leave a comment this long on the actual post I would have <3

snow lands on top, unfortunately

Thank you! thank you! thank you!

I like to think that the end is a nice compromise for the reader and Coriolanus.

Coriolanus got to 're-write history' like he wanted. He is finally living the life he thought was owed to him before the war. I really did try and paint him as someone who wasn't a bad person inherently, but has learnt to only feel safe if he has total control over everything.

The base line for his character was the line "He wasn’t a violent man, only a man capable of violence". he wants nice things, and power, and to feel unconditionally loved. He's not above using violence to get them.

And the reader got a life where she never had to worry about her children. The reader was very maternal, but if you remembered back to chapter 3 (i think) she talks about being worried about raising them in the district, and what that would mean for them.

I like to think she was generally happy in later life with her kids. She got to experience the luxury of the Capitol, and got to give her children the best life out of everyone in Panem.

While it is sad she never got to see her family again, as someone who has children very dear to her in her life, i would trade anything for their comfort and protection.

Coriolanus was a good father, and a tyrant husband. I think she could appreciate him in relation to fatherhood. Maybe, even warm to him as the father of her children. But in her heart, he will always be commander Snow to her, and that's put a road block on development of their relationship.

Thank you so much for coming along the journey with me.

I hope to create something else that you can invest in just as much.

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

#coriolanus snow #coriolanus x reader #dark!coriolanus snow #commander snow

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ozimagines · 4 months ago

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Hello, this is another weird one: but a "dating would include" between Enrique Morales and Alonzo Torquemada? Personally I thought that it was an absolute crime that those two did not get any screen time together, which is probably where this is thought came from... But maybe it starts out as a power struggle for El Norte and then becomes an uneasy truce/alliance and then develops from there??? You could make it as toxic or as fluffy as you wanted if you were interested. Thank you for everything that you have written so far!!

Stop. Literally stop being more creative than I am. 😭❤️ Because absolutely I’m interested! Both of them are like the sly, genial evil that makes them such interesting characters. Plus both are flirty Doms😭😂 So, to make a long story short (too late!) yes, I’m writing the HELL out of this piece.

Enrique Morales dating Alonzo Torquemada would include… (1/?) First Meeting

Morales wasn’t killed at this point. They found out it was nurse Grace ahead of time and fired and prosecuted her.

Morales was relieved to say the least.

He gets out of the hospital only to find there’s a new head of the gays. Interesting. It had pretty much been Fiona since he’d been there.

They weren’t really a force he concerned himself with.

(Not that he hadn’t flirted with Fiona a bit. Could anyone blame him? There weren’t any women in Oz AND her contour game is crazy.)

He got the news from Chico, embarrassed and quiet since he’d gotten out. But that little brush with death gave him new perspective, so in the meantime, Chico lived.

Chico briefed him on the changes.

“And then there’s this new guy. Torquemada.”

“Latino? He joining El Norte?”

“Nah, he’s not one of us. He’s new leader of the gays.”

Morales made a note, but said it didn’t really concern them.

“It will. He’s already made deals with Chucky about moving D-Tabs.”

He explained Destiny in detail. Said he tried it and it rocked. More than heroin.

Now the is was interesting.

“Set up a meeting. I’ll give him the rundown of how things work around here.”

“Chucky too?”

“If I’m not at his, why should he be at mine?”

Chico nodded and made the necessary arrangements.

Later, in the classroom, Torquemada got there fashionably late. Morales knew better. It was a power move.

“Sorry about the tardiness, but fashion statements don’t make themselves.”

Morales nodded but said nothing. He stood with a good natured smile.

“Enrique Morales, leader of El Norte. Please, sit.” They both did, and Enrique added. “I do appreciate the suit. It makes a statement.”

Torquemada raised an eyebrow but stayed smiling. You had to. He knew both their smiles were fake. Knew Morales knew that too.

He was already different than the other leaders in Oz. Chucky told him to cut the fag shit immediately. Vern called him a fairy. Burr didn’t acknowledge him.

Alonzo knew he wasn’t your typical drug overlord, but he used his differences to his advantage. Never wasn’t himself.

“And what statement would that be?”

“Masculine power, feminine rage.” Morales said aloud. “It’s different. Contemporary. Me, I’m more traditional.”

“I’ve found the traditional way of doing things to be… restrictive.”

“Meaning?”

“That innovation is the future. That ways have to change to improve.”

Morales quirked his brow. It was bold.

“And what improvements need to be made here?”

Alonzo knew it was a dangerous question to answer, but he thrived on the danger, so he continued, making sure to choose his words wisely.

“Though your enterprise can move street drugs under the radar, we have to look to the future. Synthetics. Lab made, lab controlled. More accurate high, more accurate pricing.”

Morales thought for a second.

“And your designer drug of choice is this Destiny thing, huh?”

Torquemada bristles but his it all with a sly smile.

“¿Quieres festar?” He unsheathed a tiny bottle of green pills.

Morales’ eye twitched. So that’s the kind of dealer he was. First taste is free.

“No, gracias. I never touch my own product.”

Torquemada smiled genuinely. Morales was smart, that much was clear. A born business man. Torquemada held his hands up in defeat, and out the pills away.

“I can respect that.”

“And that’s what it’s all about, right? Respect. You respect our thing. We respect yours.”

“Respect.” Torquemada replied with a smile. “Can’t work without it.” He took in Enrique for a second, really letting his presence wash over Alonzo. “I don’t believe I properly introduced myself. I’m Alonzo. Torquemada. King of the night.”

Morales nodded genially.

“Pleasure, Alonzo.”

“No no, Mr. Enrique. The pleasure’s all mine.” He tutted, and crossed his legs. “You’re already the most stylish of the leaders I’ve met.”

“I try.”

They hammered out some of the details. Who would sell what and where.

“There is another concern of mine, perhaps you could help me. My foot soldiers, while capable and loyal, are not your typical dealers. And the other guys know that and refuse to buy from my team. Maybe some of your boys could lend their… credibility.”

Morales said as long as they received a percentage of the proceeds, then it shouldn’t be a problem. He listed off some men who he’d be willing to spare. Torquemada was grinning ear to ear. Morales asked why.

“It’s like you said. It’s all about respect. I expected to walk away with a business partner today, I won’t lie, but there’s something more here. An alliance of sorts.” He calculated the risk and then added; “I’m especially honored it’s with someone muy guapo.”

Morales stuttered internally but never let it show. He accepted the compliment and it was Torquemada’s turn to stutter step. He’d expected a little reaction. Fine, he’d have to dial it up. He found you could really tell who a man was when he was being flirted with by another man.

“It was a pleasure meeting with you, Alfonzo. How’s that old saying go? Think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.”

“Likewise, chulo.” Alonzo prodded, and again, Enrique said nothing. Just smiled that genial, sly, secretive smile and went to his lieutenant.

Chico was still antsy around him; waiting for the revenge. Morales didn’t have any planned, but he did like that his lieutenant was so afraid by the mere idea of something.

He looked himself over in the mirror. Always admired his good looks, even if the other guys were too hetero to ever admit it. Torquemada was different. He wasn’t straight, sure, but that wasn’t where the differences ended.

There was a kind of unsettling togetherness about him. Like he was ten steps ahead. Usually the genial evil was his forte. That creepy calm before the storm.

But where Enrique was a quiet storm, Torquemada was a thunderstorm of rainbows and smiles and drugs and threats.

He smiled a little.

Innovation. Sure. He could go along with that…

#hbo oz #oz meme #Alonzo Torquemada #enrique morales #chico guerra #fiona zonioni #love this prompt sorry it took so long #will be writing more #just in the middle of moving while working two jobs seven days a week lol #but I’ve been writing and rewatching #and getting published irl but me and my mini champagne bottle celebrated that already #love you all so much thanks for the likes while I was away #warms my heart that there’s a small thriving community for this show

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