#like the fact that they had (i think) 4 championship cars just there is insane to me

[skitskatdacat63]

Okay finally posting my pics from when I went to Hanger-7 on Saturday July 1st !!

RB9 🥹

STR3 !!!

RB16B

RB7

Various Red Bull-Saubers(including Kimi's first F1 car!!!)

Tbh I think seeing these cars was more surreal and insane to me than going to the actual race the very next day. I think it's because I'm more deranged about the 2010s than nowadays(for the most part), so seeing all these incredibly iconic cars in the flesh(especially ones like the STR3 and Hungry Heidi) was just unbelievable to me. And the fact that it's free entry as well??? Yeah yeah, feel free to waltz into our aircraft hanger, free of charge, and witness these spectacles of engineering 🥱

[aduckinpain]

I was tagged by the amazing @paint-it-red-and-black for this and I found it so adorable I had to do it!

Use this link to make your own F1 Wrapped!

DRIVERS:

1. Charles Leclerc

The world may be unraveled and built again and I will still choose this man as my top driver. While admittedly at first I was captivated by his looks, I soon started genuinely enjoying this sport. Doing so allowed me to look into his story and by God is it something straight out of a book. His mentality to learn and remember everyone he's lost and fight for them while selflessly sacrificing himself for their wishes is something I couldn't fathom in a lifetime. And yet he does fight for himself and he does it viciously. He is one of the best, one of the only who I think with a competitive car could give Max a fight and win, and I need to see him spread his full potential. I am convinced that if this man doesn't win a World Championship then F1 is unachievable and Ferrari will destroy their own legend. You cannot just find another Charles Leclerc.

Also his dichotomy is insane. He's so chaotic it makes him incredibly entertaining.

If Charles Leclerc has one fan, it's me.

If Charles Leclerc has no fans, I'm dead.

2. Lando Norris

Admittedly I completely overlooked this man for about 2 months. Absolutely no second glance he wasn't interesting enough for me.

I repent for my mistake as he's consumed my waking days and nights. An absolute talent that stemmed from hard work. His second part of the season was to die for, I believe he as well, is one of the people that could fight Max for a championship. So young as well, and even if he managed to get there slowly because of his father, he tried to make it as realistic as he could. Staying a year just getting coffee orders while he's shaking in his boots for every interviews. A genuine sweetheart that deserves every good thing. I hate how self-critical he seems to be . He needs that win, he CAN win. In 2024 maiden victory for Lando Norris come on.

3. Max Verstappen

Everything, and I mean everything that this man has achieved, is deserved. Every win, every record broken, every championship was his. Because he is a generational talent, he is someone worthy. His past absolutely destroys me, especially seeing that he is in contact with his father still, but I can understand the way he thinks. Still what he went through in childhood is no excuse for the success he has now. This man is the sweetest, kindest person I've seen. He's grown so much over the years from what I can tell and he treats everyone so equally. From past temporary teammates, to rivals. A genuine joy to be around I want to give him a hug every day and tell him that he is special. Red Bull's second golden boy but also mine.

4. Oscar Piastri

At first glance, according to people I know, I look like this man. The bangs don't help, neither does the fact that I act similarly. However I will never complain if it means I can work hard and earn the success he's had in his first year in F1. When I say wow for him, I mean it. Showstopping performance. This man will be a Champion one day he has to. Absolute down to earth guy as well but I love when I see his competitive spirit shove its head between the calm walls. It's always the quiet ones and I'd know as I am one.

5. Alexander Albon

For fifth place I could've chosen a lot of people as I genuinely really like the current grid (with a few exceptions). But Alex is amazing. Truly believe that if you put him in a competitive car he'd bring miracles. He's put that Williams in places it never dreamed of driving around. One of the most talented drivers on the grid and his personality is to die for. So so nice and lovely genuinely.

RACES:

1. Las Vegas

I hated Las Vegas. Honestly still kinda do in a lot of aspects. But the race was the best. Charles definitely deserved that win and Max's penalty was too little, but a race is a race, it doesn't matter how you win it as long as you do. Charles' driving however was absolutely phenomenal. That overtake on Checo was borderline the most exhilarating thing I could ever feel. I was so shocked when I saw it, it took me a good 5 min to collect myself.

2. Singapore

While Carlos may not be on my list, the win he had in Singapore was well-deserved and amazingly iconic. I don't think I'll ever get over my confusion of hearing this mf say it's on purpose corresponding to Lando's DRS. that's the sexiest thing this man has done. That Carlando podium added extra years to my life. Their hugs and the champagne were the sweetest things ever. And Lando's pics from the podium were very um.......👁️👁️

3. Mexico

Very simple. Lando P17 to P5. Phenomenal driving. After the Austin GP disqualification. Charles Leclerc and Lewis Hamilton on the podium? Exactly what I wished for. Brought my boy back from the slump that's called the 2023 F1 season.

4. Qatar

Now to be clear, I hated Qatar. I will hate Qatar and I hate Qatar. It was absolutely inhumane and there should've been different precautions or the race time should've changed because I don't care that these drivers are trained, that was actual torture. So when I say Qatar as my 4th favorite, I mean the sprint race.

Oscar Piastri the man that you are and the man that you will be. Rookie season and won a Sprint race. I know you will be great and I cannot wait for your future.

I do dislike how they overshadowed his win with Max's championship. While I understand the celebration, he was going to celebrate at the end of the season as well. All in all, I'm happy for both of them.

5. Suzuka

My reasoning for this is even simpler. If you ever need to know my weak point, just look at the number of reoccurring driver things I have in my room. You will find an outstanding amount of Sebastian Vettels everywhere. On a shirt, in my phone, on my phone, on my wall and more to come. My reason for this is just his little bee project and how much I adored seeing him in his little corner waving his flags and the bee activity he did the day before. Everybody loves Sebastian Vettel. As they should.

RACES WATCHED: 12/22

Now I got into F1 during the summer break, which is the reason I wasn't able to see half of the races. However I am grateful purely because I don't think I could've experienced Charles Leclerc losing his grasp over the championship and Sebastian Vettel's retirement in 2022. That would've been my actual breaking point. And I saw a Max dominant season yes, however I saw half of it and most of the races were very entertaining still. I love Max too so.

TOP TEAM:

My genuine choices for this were McLaren, Red Bull and Williams.

I went for McLaren because of their amazing driver lineup, improvement over the second part of the season and really cool pit stops.

Red Bull however has been unbeatable and I will give them all the credit. The strategies, the pit stops, the wins, everything. Phenomenal

Williams grew on me quickly after Qatar. While the car may be frankly, shit, the team seems incredibly put together and I adore that they gave Logan a second chance. Also that they put the well being of their drivers first. James Vowles adopt me.

Thank you so so much for this, it was incredibly entertaining!!

If you want pushki do the same @h4mmert1me . I know most of your opinions tho <3

[alexalblondo]

Talk to me about Jake Dennis I’m new to FE and thinking of stanning but I know very little about him

1. ekay, I can do that ... I think?

Just so we're clear I am insanely biased but also most of this is about him as a driver (jk jk ... it's about his abs)

1. he looks like this ... he also likes to post pictures like this on his official social media (or used to ... I think he has new management, rip)

2. he started racing in FE in 2020 / 2021 season and ... didn't get the warmest welcome? Cause he was fairly unknown at that point and people just looked at his racing record which wasn't that impressive at that point tbh so they were shitty but the then BMW i Andretti team apparently put their development drivers through a training camp to see who was the best and guess what? Ma boi was :D (there was also something about Lando fans hacking fanboost so Jake would get it i don't really remember)

3. like so many FE drivers he's also racing in other categories, mainly GT ... for example he did DTM in 2019 for Aston Martin ... he also did some GT3 stuff in 2021 but I cannot find it right now

4. and speaking of Aston Martin that's also how he became a RedBull Racing development driver, which he still is, doing simulator work for them before races (yes, I have a thing for men who've been taken hostage by that stupid energy drink company, yes, it's def me also having Stockholm Syndrom from growing up so close to them)

5. as a driver Jake Dennis is (in my absolutely biased opinion) about the best qualifier in FE, which was one of the main reasons he ended up P3 last season as a rookie, because of all the new tracks they did (Valencia E-Prix was funny as a whole but a masterclass from Jake Dennis like omg)

6. coming back to the beginning and his looks: he is insanely vain ... not a week goes by where he doesn't talk about his hair on Instagram ... yet he ALWAYS ignores people asking about his skin care routine ... rude, imo

7. aside from being very rude and talking about his hair a lot (eg his official FE vlog which had him talk about his hair for at least 2 minutes (X)) he's also a lil no thoughts head empty ... but in an insanely smart way?

8. he has a sister he clearly loves a lot

9. he's friends with A lot of drivers, like Clement Novalak or Dan Ticktum or Lando Norris, idk idk it's mostly Clem these days, which is fine by me and also @andretti-autosport who likes to message me about them (as she should) <333

10. Speaking of no thoughts: the man struggles ... like a lot ... like omg he has rotten luck, his luck is SOOO bad his struggles have their own twitter account (x) ... like if he doesn't have at least one road car issue a week it's a miracle?

11. some of those struggles are also man-made though like that time he used dish soap for his dish washer (x)

12. or him misplacing the P3 trophy ... you know the P3 CHAMPIONSHIP trophy (x)

13. another struggle could be the fact that the german and the english wikipedia pages have different birthdays for him idk idk

14. @alx-albon says he looks and sounds like Charles Leclerc except bri'ish which is rude but also true

15. Just watch the Valencia E-Prix 2021 and the London E-Prix 2021 and tell me he is not amazing, I dare you!

Anyways that's it cause I cannot find the video I wanted to link but basically: he is hot ... he is incredibly talented ... he is a lil bit stupid ... he is super nice and friendly ... he is vain ... he might be my soulmate ... you should stan him and maybe one day he'll reveal his skin care routine and you too will have as clear skin as him

[rhysismydaddy]

The Librarian Ch.1 (Nessian fic)

Wowzers, it’s been a while since I posted! I’ve been writing though! I just have a problem where I start writing shit and never finish it haha.

I finished this one, and it’s 4 parts, they’re all written, and they’ll be becoming out this week!

Synopsis: Cassian Nezara is the King of Campus. He’s the star quarterback for the winning football team, he’s got a great personality, and he’s pretty good looking, too. But when he’s forced to volunteer at the campus library because of a fight, he meets Nesta Archeron, the mysterious and sarcastic librarian. Finding out her secret changes how he views his status on campus forever. 

| Masterlist | Part 2 | Part 3 |

________________________________________________________________

~Cassian~

Cassian barreled through the sea of freshman in front of him, almost knocking one into the bookshelf next to her. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, not slowing down. 

Coach would kill him if he was late. 

He practically ran up to the little desk in the corner of the first-floor lobby. “Hi, um excuse me,” he said to the woman sitting behind the desk. She had her back turned, feet propped on the desk in front of her without a care in the world. “Do you work here?”

She didn’t turn around. Maybe she didn’t work here. The back of her head looked a little young to be a librarian, anyway. 

“Excuse me,” he said again to her back. 

She still didn’t turn around. Cassian managed to put his temper on a tight leash before slamming his hand into the little bell on top of the desk. 

With a heavy sigh, the woman snapped her book shut, whirling around. 

Cassian froze. And stared. 

He’d been right about the young part. She was probably his age, maybe a little younger. And fucking gorgeous. Crystal blue eyes, high cheekbones, lips that begged to be kissed. She was in an oversize sweatshirt and jeans, but he could tell she had a small figure that’d fit perfectly in his arms. 

Why the hell was she in this dusty place? 

“Books are organized by topic and last name, reference numbers are posted at the end of the columns,” she said drily, then made to turn back around. 

He reached out and grabbed the edge of her chair. 

“I’m not looking for a book.”

She glared at the hand clamped on her chair until he released it. “It’s a library. Surely even you noticed that.”

Jesus, what was this chick’s problem? Weren’t librarians supposed to be sweet old ladies with cats and a kink for romance novels?

“Yeah, I noticed,” he replied, equally as terse. 

She just raised an eyebrow.

“I’m Cassian Nezara. I’m... a volunteer.” 

The librarian looked him up and down. “Blood drive’s next week.”

“I’m not here for the blood drive. Coach Hampton should’ve sent an email-”

She’d been terse before, but her tone shifted even more toward something like hatred. “Coach Hampton.”

Cassian nodded, confused as hell. Everyone loved Coach. 

I mean, he’d led the school to victory in the National Championship for eight years in a row. Football was practically a religion around here, and Ron Hampton was the god. 

He supposed that made him and his teammates angels. He didn’t exactly hate the idea. It sure as hell matched with how the population of the school treated him. 

Ever since his first game when he’d been subbed for the starting quarterback, he’d been revered on campus. And had started. Everyone around him loved football. Loved coach. 

But the woman in front of him rose to her feet, jabbed a finger into his chest, and practically shoved him backwards, growling, “You tell Coach Hampton to find somewhere else to stick his delinquent players.”

His eyebrows shot to his hairline, and he would’ve retorted, asked why, but the look in her eyes told him not to. Plus, it’s not like he wanted to be stuck volunteering in the library every day. 

So Cassian just shrugged, grabbed his phone as he walked out of the building, and called coach. 

“What the hell did you do now,” the old bastard gruffed as soon as the line went through. 

He huffed a laugh. “Actually, I think it might have been you this time. The receptionist, librarian, whatever she is told me to tell you to ‘find somewhere else to stick your delinquent players.’”

Coach paused at that. Then, “Who was it?”

“Didn’t get a name.”

He could tell coach was pinching the brim of his nose as he said, “In your twenty-two years of life, when have you ever not gotten a girl’s name?”

“Listen,” he explained, “This chick is seriously pissed off at the world. And possibly deranged.”

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

The line went dead.

Cassian groaned, resisting the urge to chuck his phone into a nearby fountain. The fact that he was being punished in the first place as stupid to him. But it was stupider that coach seemed it fit to make him suffer in a library of all places. 

Plus, he was being punished for “fighting,” if you could even call it that. Cassian had landed one punch to the bastard’s face before his teammates pulled him back. 

Plus, the idiot had deserved it. Captain of the rival football team and an all-around prick, Tamlin O’Connor had practically goaded him into a fight. And Cassian had been stupid enough to let him. 

So stupid. 

Coach usually didn’t care if they fought, but the prick was threatening to sue if the school didn’t “discipline” him. So library duty it was, apparently. 

Coach’s car pulled up, and the stout man hopped out, already looking pissed off. 

“Okay, you bonehead, I’m here. This has to work out, Cassian,” he scolded, that signature scowl of his deepening. “The library is the only place on campus you don’t have to have a record of working. Labs, working as a TA, the gym... they all record it. So if it goes in the system, it’s official, and I’ll have to bench you.”

Cassian rolled his eyes in annoyance, following coach back inside. 

He pointed over to the desk where the receptionist sat, facing them this time, but still holding a book. 

“Excuse me. I need to talk to someone about one of my player’s volunteering here,” Coach’s usually raspy voice was nicer, softer. 

The woman sitting in front of them just looked up at Cassian as if to say, Ran to daddy? 

Then flattened her gaze on coach. Waiting. 

“The dean has ordered Mr. Nezara here,” he flung a hand in Cassian’s face, “to volunteer somewhere on campus as punishment for something, and we think the library would be a good fit.”

“Interesting. I don’t.” 

She looked back down at her book. 

Coach gritted his teeth. “Can I speak to your boss, young lady?”

Blue eyes flashed up at him, and a cruel smile twisted her mouth. “I don’t have a boss, old man.”

If Cassian had been anyone else, he’d have pulled up a chair and grabbed some popcorn. Coach was used to being listened to. Feared, even. And yet the woman lounging before them, looking at them as if they were filth... she didn’t seem the type to listen to anyone. 

“Listen here-”

“No, you listen. I’m not one of your little preening ogres in a leotard you can boss around. I run this library. So I know about you’re little scheme.” She whispered the last part conspiratorially, “The one where one of your players does something stupid and you tell the dean he’ll “volunteer” somewhere, then let him nap in the library for an hour every day.”

Coach opened his mouth, but she held up a hand. 

If he wasn’t being insulted every two seconds, he’d swear he was in love with her for that gesture alone. 

“Mr. Nezara,” she spat, “will not be serving his sentence here. People who volunteer here want to volunteer.” She looked up at him. “And usually know how to read.”

With that, she simply opened her book again. Conversation over. 

Cassian turned to leave, both annoyed and impressed, but Coach asked, “What will it take? For you to let him volunteer, and I mean actually volunteer, here?”

The librarian closed her book with a deep sigh. “Five percent of the annual earnings from football gets donated to my department,” she said as if she’d been waiting for the question.

Holy shit. That was insane. Coach would never-

“Two. Pre-season only.”

“Three. Regular season, no playoffs.”

“Deal,” Coach practically growled at the woman, turning to stomp out of the building. “He starts tomorrow.”

Casaian followed coach outside, and managed to contain his laughter at the man practically spitting fumes. 

“You realize that if you don’t win the championship this year and make the money back, I’ll kick your ass, right?”

“Why the hell did you do that?” he asked instead. “Three percent of our regular season is still a good chunk of change.”

Coach shrugged, jaw tightening. “When I was your age, I made a similar mistake. And it went on my record and hurt my chances of going pro. I still made it happen, but it was harder. A lot harder. The school will still make millions from the season, and the majority of the cash comes from the playoffs anyway.”

Cassian usually didn’t run out of things to say, but he found himself struck dumb. Coach was a mean old bastard, but he cared about his players and would do just about anything for them. “Thank you.”

Coach spat on the ground. “Get your punkass to the stadium. And, for the love of God, don’t piss that woman off even more.”

~Nesta~

A cheap, cheap woman. That’s that Nesta was. 

She’d sold herself out to the football team. For a chunk of money. Granted, it would probably be the biggest income for the library in years, but still. The thought of what she’d done made Nesta queasy. 

And to Ron fucking Hampton out of all people. Her hatred for him and his entire team of stupid, muscled toddlers pretending to be good guys ran deep. And she’d agreed to spend an hour with one. Every day. 

A cheap, cheap woman indeed. 

Two years ago, she’d promised herself she would never again lay her fate in the hands of someone like Hampton. And yet, she’d just done exactly what he’d wanted her to do. 

Granted, she didn’t roll over and take it like a good little young lady, but she ended up giving him what he wanted. Exactly like everyone else. 

But, no. She wouldn’t let it be that easy. She’d punish Hampton the only way she could: through “Mr. Nezara.” 

As Nesta walked into her apartment, locked all three deadbolts on her door, and took a steadying breath, she vowed to make her new volunteer’s life hell. 

And smiled.

~Cassian~

Cassian hustled into the library once again the next day, sliding to a stop in front of the reception desk. He checked his watch, then smiled. A whole thirty seconds early.

The woman from yesterday just closed her book and jerked her chin to him. “Follow me.”

She walked through aisles of books, hips swaying in a way Cassian couldn’t help but watch. He’d thought about it after he’d left yesterday, but still had no idea why someone so young and beautiful would work in a boring, dead-end job like this. Or how she’d come to run the place, despite being the youngest librarian he’d ever seen. 

He shook his head, continuing to follow her her down a set of stairs, a narrow hallway, and into the room at the end. 

She strode on through, but Cassian paused in the doorway. The room was covered in dirt and dust and cobwebs, stacked floor to ceiling with boxes overflowing with books. Empty shelves stood along the walls, the middle space being taken up by the mountain of boxes.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

She ignored him. “Books go on the shelves. Cleaning closet is across the hall.”

“What the hell’s the point? They obviously haven’t been touched in years.” The thought of going through all of them made him growl. 

“They’re books that have been taken out of circulation. We don’t throw them away.”

Cassian muttered, “Pack rats.”

The librarian rolled her eyes, striding for the door and gesturing for him to move.

He shook his head. “What’s your name?”

“Move.”

“Nope.” He had no idea why he wanted to know, but calling her the librarian was getting old. 

A flash of something in her eyes. It looked like panic, but it was too quick to read properly. “My name is Nesta. Now move.”

He just stuck out his hand, smiling. “So good to meet you, Nes-”

The vile woman grabbed his hand, twisted it so hard he almost fell to his knees, and pulled him out of the doorway. “Asshole,” she muttered, smacking the back of his head for emphasis as she strode by him. 

By the time his breathing returned to normal and the ache in his now-sore wrist dulled, she was gone. 

It seemed as if little miss Nesta was trying to make him miserable. Probably so he’d quit and she didn’t have to deal with him anymore. 

He grinned, eyeing the monstrous stack of dusty books once more. You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that, Nesta, baby.

~Nesta~

Nesta smiled as she headed down to the basement fifty minutes later. She made her footsteps quiet, hoping to catch him sitting on his ass. If she was being honest, she couldn’t wait to see how miserable he was. 

It made her a terrible person, but she didn’t fight it. 

Nesta peered around the corner. 

And lost every thought of malice in her head. 

The room was pristine. And that was putting it lightly. The shelves were shining, filled with clean books, the floors still wet from being mopped. Hell, even the ceiling looked like it had been scrubbed down. 

Cassian stood in the corner, the last box of books on his shoulder, and said to her, “You guys invest in way too many books on the Civil War.”

Nesta forced herself to sound unimpressed, bored even. “They’re the most requested. But new ones come out every year with different information, so we have to replace them.”

He hummed, turning around to face her, that stupid little smile on his lips.

Apparently done with the box, he took it between two hands and crushed it, the motion making the muscles in his arms bunch together. 

She looked around the room again, and his smile widened proudly. So Nesta just sighed and said, “Put the boxes out back in recycling, and you’re free to go.”

He managed to only look a little disappointed as he grabbed the rest of the boxes, then walked in front of her up the stairs. She sat behind her desk as he went outside, taking a sip of her smoothie. 

Which she almost spit everywhere as a smooth voice said from behind her ear, “That, by the way, is how you sneak up on someone. See you tomorrow, baby.”

She swirled around to strangle him, but he was already walking away, hands in the hair in mock surrender. 

Oh, she was going to kill him. Or at least make his life miserable. Let the games begin, baby. 

________________________________________________________________

PART 2 will be out Thursday :) I promise it gets a lot more interesting. Let me know in my asks if you want to be tagged! 

@bamchickawowow

[jedivszombie]

Good evening Maisie ✨ for the team ask Alfa Romeo and Renault 💞

Good evening Sarah! Thank you for the ask 💖💖

Renault: What is your favourite background noise?

Probably rain, or when you’ve got music on but you’re not really listening to it and it’s like just bass and drums and vibes.

Alfa Romeo: Who is your favourite ex-driver and why?

Oh gosh you couldn’t have picked a more difficult question for me to answer! I can’t pick the one so I’m gonna pick the 4 that mean the most to me for various reasons and I’m putting it under the cut because it ended up being 4 mini essays (whoops). 

I am stood here in front of you asking for a distraction: F1 team asks

Michael Schumacher: I was lucky enough to grow up and be watching F1 during his super successful Ferrari days and honestly it’s hard to not be a Schumi fan: for everything he managed to achieve on the track; for the way Ferrari felt like a family; everything about his attitude and spirit and drive. 

He was an excellent driver and he absolutely loved racing and he could be a complete bastard but you loved him for it. I also loved when he came back and he had mellowed a little and even though the Merc years were pain, he drove the shit out of that car and he helped the team out so much to lay the foundations for where they were when Lewis hopped on board. To me, as ridiculous as this may sound, Schumi is like an extra family member. I cannot even coherently sum up what he means to me, and so many others, and let’s be real to the whole sport. 

Jenson Button: I watched Jenson’s whole career but I mainly remember from the BAR Honda days because I was a little bit older so it’s clearer to me. He may not have been as successful as Schumi but he’s a strong driver and not given nearly half of the praise and props as he really deserves tbh.

A lot of people forget that he is a World Champion and I know the stars sort of aligned to make that happen but it’s really some fucking Hollywood shit to go from having completely lost your job and drive, only then for the team to be resurrected by one of THE hotshit F1 engineers and going on to win your first and only World Championship? About 3 years after you got the closest you had ever come! 

To then move to McLaren and end up being close in the title shot multiple times and establishing yourself as like one of the most consistent drivers and pulling batshit insane shit with strategy and managing tires so much better than so many other people!? 

So part of it is the whole him being British thing that drew me in (and like underrated in the end despite the initial hype) BUT I also just think he’s a great driver, a good dude and someone I always loved watching even when he was in crapper cars.

Rubens Barichello: Rubens, Rubens, Rubens. I love this man. He is my Brazilian Dad, he was F1′s grid Dad for a billion years, every day I miss him out there on the track. His podium in Austria 2002 will always stick with me. Honestly a solid, solid driver (and if you don’t think so, ask yourself how he ended up staying in F1 for so long). He loves racing, so much! He still races! How can you not love Rubens?? Listen the reason why he’s one of my faves is just me incoherently screaming about how much I rate him as a driver and how kind and wonderful he is and how he’s my Brazilian Dad so I’m gonna cut it a little short here. Just know that I love the man dearly. 

Robert Kubica: Oh Kubica, we’re really in it now. I don’t even know how or why or what happened but as soon as I saw Bobby K drive I went, I love this one.

He smashed it in BMW Sauber (and he is the only race winner Sauber has had in their many many years in F1, which sad but also Iconique Behaviour™️). He came so close to genuinely upsetting the World Championship and he outdrove the Renault he ended up in. THIRD RACE IN F1 HE ENDED UP ON THE PODIUM BESIDE SCHUMI AND KIMI I MEAN!? HE REALLY DID THAT! 

He was blindingly fast, he knew his shit about the cars he drove, he was cool as anything and he was a contender!!! Sure he’s sort of a pay driver now (but also lads go and listen to his beyond the grid episode and maybe you’ll understand that’s it’s not just about that Orlen money but also his understanding of cars).

Sure, his injuries have meant that he’s not what he used to be as a driver BUT the fact that he even survived, let alone made it back into F1 is fucking incredible to me and just speaks of his talent and determination tbh. Until you’ve watched him during what ended up being the peak of his career miss me with the rest of it please.

While I’m on my Bobby K propaganda here is a fantastic deep dive into his career written by the beautiful @formulinos AND here is a fancam I did for him.

[vettelcore]

so what do you think about Mark Webber, Lewis Hamilton and Sebastian Vettel? :D

thank you for asking anon!! those are some good choices lol 

MARK WEBBER: all I can remember from him was from the years that he was teammates with Seb at redbull so you can imagine how much I liked him back then lol

but nah, I think he’s the typical solid midfield driver that can win a few races from now and then (*ehem* val *ehem), a good driver but definitely not championship material imo 

definitely not a good number two driver, but I think that was just for Seb since he had no problem helping Fernando out on Brazil 2012 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

nowadays i think he’s a nice guy, he realised that his rivalry with seb was stupid because the bad ones were always Christian and Helmut, not his teammate, although those were really fun days ngl i would have loved a netflix series to be a thing during those seasons lol

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LEWIS HAMILTON: hands down the best driver in F1 currently (im sorry seb but its the truth lol) he barely makes any mistakes, he’s fast, consistent and idk if anyone here has watched kuroko no basket??? but theres this thing in that anime where the REALLY good players got in the “zone” and they were practically unbeatable??? like out of this fucking world shit. Anyways when Lewis gets in his “zone” I bet he even gets the sparkly eyes with lasers coming out of them like they do in the anime lmfao 

I think the guy gets WAYYY too much shit because of his more personal side, like idk to me he just seems like an easy going person who just wants to be nice, hence the “you guys are the best crowd ever!” meme from a few seasons back lol

lewis has had so much shit thrown at him being the 1st and only black driver in f1, I remember when he was teammates with Fernando, during a GP in Catalonia, some “””fans””” dressed up in blackface, he was constantly called the n word equivalent in spanish by fernando’s fans, and afaik this racism wasnt only from non uk countries, like even in his home country he was still getting racist attacks bc he “wants to be from the hood” and shit like that, only because he likes to do other things outside of f1, it’s honestly insane

like idk i’ve always had a soft spot for lewis, i have never been his fan, but I can appreciate him as both a driver and a person

also my appreciation for him went up when he went vegan, and from a social issues pov, he’s probably one of the most decent guys in the paddock, even though he says a lot of dumb shit sometimes lol

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SEBASTIAN VETTEL: if I say he’s underrated, will anyone kill me?? but let me explain

he won his 1st race and pole on a rainy weekend in monza in a TORO ROSSO, people love to downplay this because “well to be honeeeeest the STR was a really good car in 2008 so it wasn’t that much of an achievement

he became a world champion on his 3rd full season in f1, becoming the youngest WDC in history, on a season where 5 different drivers could have won the title and it went down to the last race, people still love to downplay this bc “well to be honeeeeest only him and fernando could realistically win the championship and the ferrari was a horrible car”

he went on to destroy every other driver in 2011, obviously only thanks to newey

he beat fernando fair and square in 2012, again, obviously only thanks to newey and because the ferrari that season also was a really bad car

once again he went on to destroy every other driver in 2013, “thanks to the car”

4 championships in total, on a row, and beating drivers like Fernando Alonso who many consider even a better driver than Schumi

but no, he never deserved any of them because he won only because of the car, of fucking course

when he moved to ferrari, SO many people think he did it because he was “afraid of Ricciardo” and was only running away, and they all ignore the fact that

1. it was always seb’s dream to emulate what Schumi, his idol, did in Ferrari, his all time favourite team

2. he had a precontract since early in the season and he had been talking to ferrari for Y E A R S  before anything was made official

and now since he moved to Ferrari, he gets shit because “LoL vEtTeL bAd He SpInS”, I could go on a whole different rant over this lol 

Overall, I have NEVER seen a fucking four time world champion get as much shit as he does, be doubted as much as him, and be so fucking underrated as him, it’s fucking insane

like... I was gonna say “you’re only as good as you’re last race”, but I dont think that even applies to Seb because when he has a good race, so many people still say shit like “well duuuh, his team threw his teammate under the bus to let him win”

you dont fucking win 4 world championships if you’re not a fucking good driver, for fucks sake, how is that so difficult to understand??

on his personality, him and romain are the two sweetest and most caring drivers in the paddock lmfao 

hes the king of dad jokes and no one else can beat him at that you can’t change my mind

i also see so many comments on reddit saying that “they used to hate him back in redbull because he was so stuck up and a crybaby, but since he moved to ferrari he’s become such a funny guy” like??? no??? what the fuck???? he’s always been a really good and funny guy? did these people watch any of his interviews or press conferences back in 2010-2014? what??? how the hell do you think he’s the only driver to have had befriended kimi lmfao like just say that your bias against him made you not see how fucking funny he is, it’s fine

at the end of the day, no matter what seb does he is doomed

if he wins, it’s because of the car

if he loses, it’s because he’s a shit driver

if he moves teams, he’s just running away from his teammates

if he breathes, he’s wasting people’s oxygen 

if he doesn’t breath, he’s a dumb idiot because he’s gonna die

also he cares so much about his team and the sport, is super down to earth and will jump to any journalist’s throat if they ask something inappropriate to other drivers or to himself

I just fucking love sebastian so much why am i like this dhldsjhdkjghdfg 

oh my god this post is so long sdhflsdhfsjk 

[raymondklhi340-blog]

Lodi's Treasure Island Red Wine Fest

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[andreblogson]

1945

Roger Bresnahan 

Christy Mathewson’s favorite catcher was also probably the best catcher of the deadball era. And probably the best position player on the New York Giants during his tenure there. The knock on Bresnahan is that he got in to the Hall of Fame because he’d just died in 1944, he got too much credit for popularizing shin guards or for whatever other non-deserving reason. Fine. JAWS ranks him as the 22nd-greatest catcher of all time. Nobody with similar career stats is in the Hall of Fame. But in 1945, they really only could have put in Mickey Cochrane, Gabby Hartnett or Wally Schang ahead of him. Maybe Deacon White. But Bresnahan had been associated with John McGraw in Baltimore and New York, not to mention Mathewson. Plus the fact that he had an outstanding World Series (.313 AVG, .500 OBP) during the Giants’ championship run in 1905. And people thought fondly enough of him after his death that they put him in. I think he only had three elite seasons, but I would have given him the N.L. MVP in 1903. Some people lose their mind over Breshanan’s inclusion. I don’t feel like it’s hurting anybody. 

Dan Brouthers 

Big Dan was probably the greatest slugger of the 19th Century. And he had the career home run record from 1887-1889. He won five batting titles and three slash line Triple Crowns during his career. He also killed a catcher in a collision at home during his amateur days, but was found innocent of any wrongdoing. I would have given him the National League MVP in 1882, 1883, 1886, 1887, 1889, 1892 and the American Association MVP in 1891 for a total of 7. JAWS ranks him as the 7th-greatest first baseman of all time. The Veterans Committee could have gone with Roger Connor first. But I guess it paid to be associated with John McGraw, who Brouthers (pronounced BROO-thers) played with in Baltimore in 1894 and 1895 and with the New York Giants in 1904. McGraw even gave him a job in the Polo Grounds press gate for over 20 years. Not knowing McGraw means he probably would have had to wait until people had easier access to stats thirty years down the road. 

Fred Clarke

I’d say he played Scottie Pippen to Honus Wagner’s Michael Jordan, but with 4 pennants under his belt as player-manager, he was also Phil Jackson. Clarke began managing at age 24 and even had the all-time wins record for managers until it was broken by John McGraw in 1918. Just in case you didn’t think John McGraw was going to get mentioned again. 

I’d say Clarke had six elite seasons as a player. JAWS ranks him as the #12 left fielder of all time. He went 5-for-5 in his first game in the Majors. And later in life he became wealthy by finding oil on his Kansas property. With the money, he became part-owner of the Pirates. And then became clubhouse poison in 1926 by actually sitting in the dugout and undermining the manager.        

Jimmy Collins

He was considered the best defensive third baseman of his time, playing in on the edge of the grass to defend against the bunt. It strikes me as odd that nobody had thought of this before, but whatever. Somebody had to. And Collins is second all-time in put-outs from 3rd after Brooks Robinson. He wasn’t really a star hitter. I’d say he only had one elite season (1901). But in 1945, he was the second-greatest third baseman ever, after Home Run Baker. Now JAWS ranks him 20th and below standards. 

Collins probably gets extra points as the first franchise manager of the Boston Red Sox. Collins’ Americans, as they were known (which included Cy Young, whom Collins recruited), won A.L. pennants in 1903 and 1904, won the first ever modern World Series in 1903 and then sat out the ‘04 Series when John McGraw (McGRAW!) refused to play them. In 1906, Collns was replaced by Chick Stahl as manager. Stahl, who couldn’t handle the pressure, committed suicide the same season.         

Ed Delahanty 

One of the game’s first power hitters was also one of its first great tragedies. Ed Delahanty was one of five Delahanty brothers to play in the Majors. And he was the best. Big Ed was the first to hit .400 in a season three different times, the second to hit four home runs in a game and the only man to win batting titles in both leagues. His .346 average is 5th all-time. He had 9 elite seasons and I would have awarded him the N.L. MVP in 1893, 1895, 1896 and the A.L. MVP in 1902. JAWS ranks him as the 6th-best left fielder of all time. 

Not that many people can say they’ve broken a third baseman’s ankle with a batted ball. And not that many people have gotten stuck in a doghouse trying to retrieve a ball, which resulted in an inside-the-park home run either. Delahanty met his tragic end after a contract with the Giants fell through and he went on a months-long drinking binge. Apparently he got wasted and violent on a train, threatening passengers with a straight razor, until he was kicked off. While crossing the International Railway Bridge over the Niagara River, he either fell, jumped or was pushed and his body was later found at the bottom of Niagara Falls.   

Hugh Duffy

After all these years, Duffy still has the single-season batting average record with .440 in 1894. Which is an insane batting average. And he was even thought to have won the Triple Crown that year, until some other RBI were found for Sam Thompson. Depending on who you ask. FanGraphs considers him a Triple Crown winner, BaseballReference does not. Either way, it’s one of only two elite seasons for Duffy. I’d say over his own career, he was the second-best center fielder after Billy Hamilton. JAWS ranks him the 46th-best center fielder of all time. I mean, for the 19th Century, he was 11th in fWAR among all position players. Not bad for a guy Cap Anson initially mistook for the batboy when he arrived in Chicago in 1888.  

Hughie Jennings

For a very brief moment in time, Hughie Jennings was the star player and captain of the legendary Baltimore Orioles teams of the late 1890’s and he might have even been the best player in baseball during that stretch. Part of his success was due to his willingness to get hit by pitches. He took one for the team and then took first base due to an HBP 51 times in 1896, which is still a single-season record. And the 287 hit-by-pitches in his career is also an all-time record. That obviously wasn’t without its consequences. Hard-throwing right-hander, Amos Rusie, once beaned Jennings in the head in the third inning of a game. And Jennings apparently managed to finish that game. But as soon as it ended, Jennings collapsed and remained unconscious for three entire days.    

Head injuries would actually be a common theme in Jennings’ life. He actually had multiple skull fractures over the years, from diving into empty pools and a near-fatal car crash in 1911. But the most consequential injury to his playing career was probably throwing out his arm in 1898. That’s when the elite play and stellar defense stopped. JAWS only ranks Jennings as the 29th-greatest shortstop of all time. Only two of the ten most-similar players in career stats are in the Hall of Fame. And if the Veteran’s Committee wanted to pick a worthy shortstop, they could have easily gone for George Davis, Bill Dahlen, Bobby Wallace, Joe Tinker or even a few others. So I’m guessing Jennings’ selection had as much to do with his managing career as it did with his time at short. 

From 1907-1920, Jennings was the manager of the Detroit Tigers. Which means he was Ty Cobb’s manager. I mean, Jennings also had Sam Crawford and Harry Heilmann too. But that was Cobb’s team. And Jennings let Cobb be Cobb. His first three seasons at the helm in Detroit were pennant winners. All in losing efforts (twice to the Cubs and finally to Pittsburgh). But  Detroit is also where Jennings became known as “Ee-Yah” for his trademark yell from the third base coaching box. Jennings’ wacky antics also included other variations of noises, horns, gyrations and dances. He was even suspended for taunting opposing players with a tin whistle.

Despite all of his antics, Jennings was still considered a great manager. And he occasionally still played in a game or two over the years. During the infamous game in 1912, when the entire Tigers team boycotted in solidarity with Cobb, Jennings inserted himself to pinch hit. When the umpire asked him who he was subbing for, Jennings responded, “None of your business.” 

Jennings, who was also the best man in John McGraw’s wedding, also did some coaching for the New York Giants in the early 20’s. And he managed during the time McGraw fell ill. Eventually the head trauma might have gotten the better of him. Jennings suffered a nervous breakdown in 1925 and then died of meningitis in 1928.  

King Kelly.

If Kelly was a quiet, teetotaling churchgoer, he might have gone on to 19th Century baseball obscurity. Thankfully, he was none of those things. It was pretty rare for Kelly to be the best player on his own team (then again, his teams won 9 pennants, so his teams were kinda stacked). There were only a handful of times he was the best catcher in baseball or the best outfielder in baseball. Contemporaries like Buck Ewing and George Gore were better at their respective positions. But Kelly probably had 5 elite seasons. And I would have given him the NL MVP in 1884 (which was also the first of his two batting titles). He’s only the 7th-best player in his own specific era (1878-1893) after Roger Connor, Cap Anson, Dan Brouthers, Jack Glasscock, Ewing and Gore. And he’s currently listed as the 36th-greatest right fielder of all-time on JAWS, well below standards. 

But this is the Hall of Fame and Kelly sure as shit was famous. He was also as innovative as he was tricky. The hit-and-run, the hook slide, catchers backing up first base and runners leading off a base have all been things said to be popularized by Kelly. So are the wearing of a glove and a chest protector as catcher. So are fouling off pitches on purpose to tire out an opposing pitcher, and cutting bases when the only umpire wasn’t looking. 

Kelly also ‘wrote’ the first baseball autobiography. He popularized signing autographs. He became one of the first ballplayers to work in vaudeville. And when the White Stockings shipped Kelly off to Boston for $10,000, it was a record amount and everyone freaked out about it. America’s first pop song was “Slide, Kelly, Slide”, which also became a movie. “Casey at the Bat” is rumored to be about him. Every Irish pub hung his photo. He was a handsome, mustachioed Irish-American legend. And that sweet combination of skills, innovation and fame is what got him to Cooperstown.    

Jim O’Rourke.

“Orator Jim” is another 19th Century player who was probably more famous than he was spectacular on the field. He was pretty good in his heyday. JAWS ranks him as the 37th-best left fielder of all time. There were a few times he was the best first baseman or outfielder in the old National Association. Or the best player on one of his Boston teams in the National League. He did have 8 elite seasons. And he won a batting title and three home run titles (before that was really a thing). It’s just that he played on those stacked Boston Red Stockings teams that won 5 pennants in the 1870s. Then again for the Providence Grays and again for the New York Giants.    

O’Rourke’s fame might stem from attending Yale Law when most of these guys were rough-and-tumble immigrant kids. He also collected the first base hit in National League history in 1876. And then he played in the minor leagues well into his 50’s. His friend, John McGraw (!) called him up for a game in 1904 when O'Rourke was 54 years old. And he caught a full minor league game when he was 60.

Wilbert Robinson.

From 1886-1902, Robinson served as a mediocre catcher for various American Association and National League teams, where he was the first catcher to play directly behind the batters at all times. Then he went on to become business partners with John McGraw in Baltimore, succeeding him as manager of the Orioles in 1902. Besides McGraw, that team also featured Roger Bresnahan, Joe Kelley and Joe McGinnity. From 1903-1913, Robinson served as McGraw’s pitching coach with the New York Giants (a team which included Christy Mathewson, McGinnity and Rube Marquard). And then from 1914-1931, he was manager of the Brooklyn Robins, a team which was named after him. That Brooklyn team won pennants in 1916 and 1920, included Hall of Famers Casey Stengel, Zack Wheat, Rube Marquard, Burleigh Grimes, Dazzy Vance, Max Carey, Rabbit Maranville, Dave Bancroft, Al Lopez and Ernie Lombardi and left Robinson 3rd all-time in National League managerial wins after McGraw and Fred Clarke.

Snubs: Brouthers, Delahanty and Clarke were good choices, But if you’re going 10 players, round it out with Roger Connor, George Davis, Kid Nichols, Bill Dahlen (who isn’t even in the Hall), Frankie Frisch, Sam Crawford and Billy Hamilton. 

[stylessemantics]

Hiii! Could you please write something where you and H are friends but you like each other and he's alway super cute but also flirty? the rest is up to you, thank you xx

Rating: PG!Warnings: none really. Just harry being a cheeky bastardCategory: fluff?Word Count: 4,154 I think the longest a request has been so far!Request: yes! I’m stock piling these, trying to get them done so I’ll be popping more during the week i think. I’ll try. If not I will after #BIM is over :)

Note: IDK if this is “super cute but also flirty” but there’s some of both mixed in and stuff… I hope you like the way this turned out!

17. Something Small.

You run down the halls of school in search for your best friend, Harry. The envelope in your hands is too important and you clutch it tight to your body. Crashing against bodies and yelling half-assed apologies to people as you rush to get to his locker before first period. Soon you can see him, in all his skinny jean glory.“ Harry harry harry!” you yell coming close. So close that you almost slam into the open door of his locker, smacking it shut.“ Whoa whoa, hey there Lighting McQueen.”“ Oh lord Harry you won’t believe what I go-”“ G’morning to you too” he says interrupting you and throwing his messenger bag on his shoulder and fully closing his locker. You roll your eyes, this was not a moment to greet and say hello. You were freaking out, quickly you slam the letter on his chest and he scoffs looking at it. Soon his eyes and mouth both open wide. “Have you read it?” he says as he takes it in his hand and scans his eyes over the sleek design or the letter. London University of Arts. You bite your lip and shake your head no.“ No, I checked the mail before coming today and it was… God it was just sitting there, haunting me… And I ran”“ Fuck, oh… God I…” His dimples were showing. This was so important.“ Well open it!”“ Who? Me?” he asks in shock, green eyes opened to no belief. “N-no way, this is your letter… Yeh have t’open-““ I’m shaking, I can’t open it!” You say hopping up and down and shaking your hands. He breathes in and out and nods before tearing the paper open. You rest against the locker behind you covering your eyes. This is the most nerve-wracking moment of your life.

Harry takes a deep breath before scanning his eyes over the beautiful printed words, even the font they used was pretty, what the fuck.“ Dear miss Y/F/N, we are pleased to inform you THAT YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED-“ Harry doesn’t have to continue. The words “pleased” and “you’ve been selected” are all the indication both of you need to start screaming and jumping into each others arms. Harry sways you back and forth and you hide your face in his neck. “You did it, you got in” he whispers against your ear and his hand runs circles on your back. It feels amazing to be hugged by Harry, it’s easily one of your favourite feelings in the world. He pulls back a little bit and his nose bumps yours, but he keeps his face there. None of you move, and your breaths and his clash as they escape your parted lips. His eyes search yours, the green is a lot more intense today, or at least they look like that up close. And the moment, if there ever was any, is kind of ruined when you hear the typical“ JUST GET MARRIED ALREADY” that someone screams at you as they walk down the hall. You and Harry both groan and separate from the embrace.“ Shut up Nicholson!” the both of you scream at your friend as he walks away and into his classroom. You turn back to Harry shaking your head and find him looking at you.“What?” you ask confused, and he’s quick to shake his head rid of whatever thought.“ Nothing… Gosh you made it!”“ I know” you can’t help but squeal and Harry takes a hold of your hands, giving them kisses all over. You tried to get your tummy to calm down, this was a typical Harry thing to do. Just hold you and kiss you and flirt, the reason why everyone was always so into you getting together, but you were just friends, and you both knew that.“I love you, and I’m proud of you”“ And I love you and am proud of you too, mister” you bop his nose with your finger after freeing your hand of his. “You’ll get your letter soon, ok? And we’ll go to London and we’ll laugh like these days were something small” the words come out of your lips soft and with a smile. Harry was so nervous he was going to have to settle for one of the colleges that were NOT his dream. He’d been accepted to some, but his London University of Arts acceptance letter had yet to arrive. Still, you never lost hope. You were both going to get into your dream college. Harry nods and sighs taking a hold of your hand before walking with you over to your fist period class.

During lunch time you both got the same jokes and looks from your friends as you sat between Harry’s legs, resting against his chest and he had his arms wrapped around you over your shoulders, while everyone chatted and munched on their meals. It wasn’t you, it was Harry. As usual the moment he reached the bench where you were sat, he made you sprawl on him. It’s not like your heart jumped every time he did it, but you liked it. You liked being close to Harry. You liked him. The bell rang and you had to go to P.E but Harry’s head was elsewhere, as he never let go of you even when people picked up their things and left.“ Uh, Harry?” “ Hmm?” he responded not really looking at you, as he just stared at the sky or something, deep in thought. You craned your neck to look up at him and tapped him on the cheek, his head turned to you this time, and his nose bumped with yours. You both stopped there for a second, shivers going up your spine and breath caught in your throat. Harry moves leans down and presses a quick kiss to your cheek, breaking you from the spell that the embrace had you on. You clear your throat“ Uh, I have to run. I have P.E”“ Oh, oh! Uh, yeah” he snaps out of his daze and untangles himself from you, allowing you to get up and pick up your stuff, but he reaches for your hand, giving it a quick kiss as well, before he also gets up and waves goodbye, walking off to his next class, surely late.

You stand there for a moment reliving the feeling of his lips ghosting over yours over and over and over.

The next day at school, is filled with people delivering silly prom-posals for the upcoming senior prom. You still can’t believe it’s your last year of high school and you get to go to London to study some more. There’s still no news from College for Harry but you still have no doubts he got in. “ Hey beautiful” Harry says as he comes to your locker and drops a kiss on your cheek, that immediately flushes red.“ Hey H” you answer closing it. You take just two steps before running into another prom-posal, this time apparently Jenny asked her boyfriend Mark with the help of the whole Girl Soccer Team. “Ok that was seriously cute” you start to say to Harry “but if I see another prom-posal today I might go insane.” Harry looks at you chuckling“ Sick of them already?”“ People go a bit too over board with these. It’s like they have to out-do each other with the biggest proposal Jefferson High has yet to see” Harry scoffs“ Come on, you’d melt at a big proposal like that” you giggle at him and stop in your tracks over to your car“ I don’t think so” Harry nods when you say that“ What kind of prom-posal would you like then?” This question though you don’t know how to answer. You’ve never thought of it. After all you only had a date to prom back in sophomore year when you dated Steven Matthews for about 4 months and everything went to shit before summer when he was going away to Italy with his family and kept saying that his heart wouldn’t be able to stand a long distance thing and you laughed, more like his boy hormones wouldn’t have let him not bang an Italian chick. Every other prom after, in fact every other dance, valentines, spring, halloween, pride week, football championship season, any dance, you’d gone with your friends, Harry included if he had not asked some girl or some girl had asked him, like the last 2 years when he got asked by 3 girls on Girls Choice Dance. But one thing was certain, even if he never told you, whoever he went with always knew that they’d have to share him with you, it’s what he always told them when you were not around, and it was the reason why Harry never went with the same girl to two dances. They never said yes to him when they knew of the whole “ M’also spending the night with y/n” situation that you were oblivious to.

You open your car and throw your books and bag in the back seat and turn to Harry to answer his question“ I don’t know. Something smaller? There’s no need to get the marching band to learn a song just so I can go to prom with someone. Also what’s up with roses?” you giggle and settle in your car. Harry is quick to lean down and press a kiss to your cheeks as he always does when you are about to get separated. And with always we mean always. He’s always kissing your cheek goodbye, even when you’re just going to freshen up in the ladies room for a brief moment. He kisses your cheek when he drops you off in your classroom door or at your house after a movie night.“ Something small” he repeats and you look at him confused “See ya, love!” he says and steps back, walking towards his car instead.

Later that night you hear the distinct tap of rocks hitting your window, not soon after Harry’s climbed up your balcony. It’s not like the rocks are some sort of ‘hey open up thing’ they are more like “get ready I’m coming up” message between you too. You had insisted on the rule after he’d climbed up to find you half naked and belting out to Maroon 5 in your room one night. Both of you were blushing intensely red and Harry had to hide a boner from you for the rest of the night.“ Yeh naked?” he asks“ No, you dork” you answer him rolling your eyes and closing your balcony door after him“ Ah, bummer” he says cheekily making you blush and you chuck a pillow at him. He laughs and sets his backpack to the side and then lets himself fall on your mattress, you’ve always liked the no frame thing, so having your bed on the floor allowed him to free fall on it every time without worrying so much about noise or breaking something. You followed suit and he opened his arms, pulling you closer to him, pressing his lips to your exposed shoulder. It was a movie night at your place tonight. You selected the movie and Harry opened his backpack to show the array of snacks he brought with him.

The movie was a bit boring and you found yourself yawning through it. Harry tapped on your shoulder, signalling you to turn around and face him, he knew that if you were sleepy you preferred to cuddle facing him, than to spoon. The sudden thought that if you listed the things Harry knows of you and have become habits between the two of you, you wonder if there’d be enough paper in the world. He knew your favourite shampoo and you knew his, and his fave gum, or what weird things he claims he always has to carry are - toothbrush and paste (in case he can’t get home), socks (for his feet are always cold) and bandaids (he says “I’m almost always with you, clumsy butt”). You’ve been best friends for so long, able to read each other like a book, and easily the only person that has seen all around any and every emotion the other has felt.“ Hey” he mumbles lowly pausing the movie.“ What?” you say half asleep, half awake.“ Wanted to ask yeh something real quick” he sits up, forcing you to do so as well seeing as you were engulfed in his arms. When he gets your attention he then proceeds to hold your hands in his and play with your knuckles. “Was wondering…”“ Yes?” you’re truly confused. Harry looks nervous, shy even, and you have no idea what. Your stomach becomes fuzzy, either cause he’s holding your hands or cause of the mood he’s set with this mysterious question. “ So yeh said you’d like a small prom-posal, right?” your heart skips a beat. He isn’t doing what you think he’s doing, is he?“ Harry-““ Wait, wait!” he shushes you and smiles “ Would yeh… Would yeh go t’prom with me” You giggle“ I thought we were already going together” you say “That was the plan. No date? Group prom…” you remind him of the plans your whole group of friends had made at the beginning of the month. He comes to kiss your forehead and nods“ Yeah, I know. But I wanted to ask yeh proper… I mean, we’re friends” he sounds a bit panicky as he says the words “but I want to be your date. We’ll go as friends, but… together?” He sighs and palms his forehead “ M’making no sense” you throw your head back laughing hysterically.“ No, no. I get it” The look on his face says ‘you do?’ and you nod at him. Sure your heart aches at the mention over mention that you’re friends, just friends, but this… This prom-posal is the cutest thing and it warms you all over. “ I’ll go to prom-“ No wait! uh fuck I forgot!” he interrupts you and leans back, letting go of one of your hands to turn to his backpack as he pulls out a small 5 flower arrangement from it. You gasp. They are so pretty, the most beautiful tulips you’ve seen. he hands them to you and smiles. There’s a small note attached to the flowers and you flip it to read it. ‘Something small… Prom? -H’“ Ok, you can answer now” he smiles cheekily and you giggle pushing at his chest“ Dork!”“ M’your dork!” he shouts before engulfing you in his arms once more. You mumble a quiet yes against his chest as you hug and when he pulls apart and looks down at you, it’s like time’s stopped once more. His nose and yours bump and your eyes battle with each other. Like every other time this has happened this week, this month even, one of you end up looking away or saying something, causing your faces to pull away, and forcing you both to continue with whatever was happening. You sit in your bed and smell the flowers. Tulips are one of your fave type of flowers, and it was really thoughtful of Harry to do that, and specially to not bring roses.“ Are you staying the night?” you ask him after a bit of silence and some more cuddling. Harry sighs and stretches before slowly getting up.“ Can’t. Promised me mum I’d be back after the movie was over” he says and smiles at you and giving you a kiss on the cheek before walking over to your balcony to climb back down. It’s a bummer that he can stay and chill for a little bit but you’ll see him tomorrow anyways, and surely every day before that. “ Let me know what colour dress yeh are wearing” he says as he’s about to leave. “Goodbye my love. Try not to miss me too much” he jokes and turns around“ Harry wait!” you scream after him and he stops in his tracks.“ Miss me already?” you roll your eyes.“Can I have the skittles, doofus?” he laughs and opens his backpack, quickly tossing you the bag of candy you like so much. “Kay, be gone now” he places a hand over his heart, acting like he’s offended and you grimace at him “yikes. Thank God you’re not applying for acting school”“ Wow, ok. That hurt” he laughs as he climbs down “love you!”“ Love you back!” you screamed, and neither knew that the other meant it so much.

Weeks had passed and still no such luck with Harry’s university letter. He’d already cried on your shoulder and punched everything at the gym a hundred times, but Harry was a happy lad and worked his hardest to get back up after his meltdown over his top choice dream college not giving him any replies. He always joked that he was a lot happier about the fact that high school was ending, once and for all. And high school ending meant prom.

Soon the big night came. There were butterflies in your tummy while you got ready in your room. Your friends were already on their way to prom but Harry promised to pick you up, in good ‘you’re my date’ fashion. Your mom already gushed at how cute you and Harry would look before even getting to see how cute you guys actually looked on prom night, but she claimed she just knew that you’d both look amazing, specially together.

You twirled around in front of the mirror. The dress was wonderful and it took you ages to decide on which one, much to Harry’s annoyance - “Y/N yeh need t’pick something. I need t’know the colour!” he kept texting you - but thankfully you had picked the right one. The soft pastel gown looked good on your skin, fit like a glove, and had an amazing and comfortable cut. A medium dip showing your back, soft lace covering your chest and small details all around, and the skirt fell softly to the ground.“ Y/N! Harry’s here, come down for pictures!!” your mom yelled up the stairs and you gathered your things ready to go have a fun night.

Coming down the stairs you were left breathless at the sight of Harry. He had trimmed his curls, and sported a really nice sleek black suit with details in white on the edges, and a sleek black dress shirt. And you weren’t the only one that had no words, it was obvious as Harry stood stuck in place looking at you up and down and up and down again. He could not believe his eyes.“ Holy fuck”“ Harry! Language!”“ Sorry Mrs. Y/L/N, but you’ll agree with me your daughter is…” he reached over and held your hand pulling you to him slightly “The most beautiful thing I’ve seen…”“Aww!” your mom gushes and you pat yourself on the back for not adding too much blush, you knew that if you were going to spend the night with Harry, both of you dressed so nicely, you would most likely blush naturally all night long. “Ok! Picture time” a soft groan left your mouth but Harry laughed, pressing his lips to your cheek.

Your mom held you back for pictures for about 10 minutes, and for about 10 more after you put on the corsage Harry had brought for you, but finally you and Harry had made it to prom. Although you never believed much in prom, and it was a bit sad cause the year was coming to an end and soon everyone would part ways, you had to admit, it was the most fun prom you’ve ever been to. Harry stayed by your side all night, a hand at the small of your back when you walked and his fingers intertwined with yours when you danced, and you shared moments with all your friends, took countless photos and danced to your favourite songs until you had to put your hair up cause of how heated the dance floor got at some point. Harry kept biting his lip whenever you were close, or when you danced something really really close, at some point had even a bit of a discussion with Niall over who’s date was the prettiest.“Mate, shut up. Y/N is the hottest, prettiest girl, in the block…” he’d say staring right at you “no questions asked” his eye drops in a wink and you blush once more.

You found yourself swaying softly from side to side with Harry some time after 10pm. There wasn’t a lot of people dancing, some decided to sit around and talk instead of dancing to a slow song, but Harry had insisted. Your hands wrapped round his neck and your chin rested on his shoulder, as you could feel the heat of his large hands pressed to your back through the opening of the dress, and his lips pressed to your shoulder over and over slowly coming up to your neck and coming back down, leaving goosebumps in their wake. “ Y/N” he murmurs and you hum back an answer “ I wanted to show you summat” he pulls away, causing you to step back as well. “ What is it?” he smiles cheekily and opens up his suit jacket reaching into the pocket hidden inside“ Well… It’s… Something small” he says and winks pulling out an envelope. You gasp recognising the sleek design you knew so well, and start to hop up and down.“ Oh my, oh my, oh my!” you take the envelope in your hand and start to rip it open, after all he’d promised he’d let you. You read over the words in silence. Dear Mister Harry Styles, we are pleased - there was nothing more you needed to read. You look up at Harry with the biggest smile on your face and he sighs a sigh of relief and smiles as well when he sees it. “You… You got in! We’re going”“ We’re going to London…” he finishes and hugs you tightly. You try your best not to let your tears escape and ruin your makeup while you whisper congratulations to Harry.“ I want to go with you” he murmurs but keeps you close to him in the embrace “I want us to go… together”“ We are Harry! We are!”“ No, I-I don’t mean like… together like we came to the prom.” he whispers and pulls apart, looking at you intensely and keeping his nose to yours. Your heart feels like it could burst in any second, you’re not sure you can take another one of these close-enough-to-kiss situations, and not jump in his arms. And Harry feels the same way. He’s been so close to kissing you for the past month, his patience breaking at the seams. He had held back for years and lately all he’s been thinking about is how to tell you that he loves you, not like he’s been saying for ages, but he really, really loves you. The moment he got the letter in the mail, he knew, he had to tell you before you left and he stayed behind, or before you both left if the odds were in his favour. He had to let you know, and now that he knew his nightmare -which was that his days with you this close would come to an end, and you’d leave and he’d stay and nothing would be the same- wouldn’t become a reality. Instead his dream was. Dream college, Dream girl. His hands come to hold your face in place “I… I want to ask you something small” you nod silently as one of your hands comes to play with his dress shirt over his chest. You’re both breathing erratically, the same way your heart is beating. But Harry never asks. Instead his patience comes to an end and he dips his head down, making his lips finally meet yours. The kiss is soft, and passionate at the same time. It feels like you’ve been waiting for snow for years and then you suddenly got it in July. It feels like warmth all over, and something familiar. It doesn’t feel like something small, because it was so long overdue, but it is perfect to every extent. The way his lips and yours move in sync, and your breathing patterns seem to align, and your hearts beat the same. “ I don’t know” you say when you pull apart, eyes closed and foreheads touching “I don’t know what the question was, but the answer is yes” you giggle giving him a quick peck to the lips. The sound of his laughter fills your ears and you keep dancing from side to side, the acceptance letter in your hand as you wrap yourself closer to his body.

Smooches- Iv. x

alsjdfhalskdjhf Again I want to get back to finishing requests so yes! I’m stock piling these, trying to get them done so I’ll be popping more during the week i think. I’ll try. If not I will after #BIM is over... IDK I TRIED.

Requests Closed, sorry :(Masterlist

[thesrr]

My Review on the WWE Royal Rumble

Decided to give my thoughts on the WWE Royal Rumble since this is the first day fully back from Ponycon. So if you haven’t seen it yet, I recommend you do before reading. Or if you’re like me and don’t care for spoilers, go ahead.

NXT TakeOver: San Antonio

To me, the big 4 PPVs don’t start an hour earlier. They start a day earlier with NXT TakeOver. These are like PPVs themselves and sometimes even better than the Big 4. So I’m going to review them alongside the Royal Rumble and treat them all as one big event. Because they are.

Eric Young Vs Tye Dillinger

Been a fan of Eric Young even in TNA. While him winning the world Championship was definitely copying Daniel Bryan, he did deserve it. Nice to see him not do a joke gimmick in the WWE so people new to him can treat him seriously from the start. As for Tye, he has grown on me. To think, only Stonecold and DB were capable of getting one word over and he joins them with “10″.

Nice to see Eric give him one more chance to join. Made it seem he really did want him to join Sanity. But seeing how Tye rejected it was really smart. You can’t disqualify someone for giving back their jacket. If Tye does indeed move to the Main Roster, this is a great completion of his time in NXT. I’m not a fan of heels with minions but I could when done right. And Sanity I felt is done right.

They’re big an intimidating, but they’re not the sole reason Eric Young wins matches. Eric Young is capable of winning his own battles (through underhanded tactics but still on his own). They’re not someone who shows up in the final moments of the match and makes it easy for the heel to win. Overall, an excellent opening to the rest of TakeOver and the Royal Rumble in general.

Samoa Joe in the Audience

If I saw this live, I would have thought “if he’s there, that means he MUST be appearing at the Rumble.” Sadly, I would be wrong.

Roderick Strong Vs Andrade Almas

While I heard of Roderick Strong, I sadly never seen him wrestle outside the WWE. Seeing him has been impressive so far. Andrade Almas I felt was smart to go heel. As a face, he didn’t provide much impact. Especially when he got overshadowed by others coming into NXT. He has been working better as a heel than a face.

The two work really well together. Almas was a fun cocky heel while Strong at times lived up to his name and more by being also pretty agile and quick. Awesome match overall. Both of them would be awesome to see on Raw or Smackdown. 

The Authors of Pain Vs DIY

Outside having Paul Ellering as a manager, I don’t see them being a Road Warriors ripoff. I see this more of Paul wanting to be known more than that guy who managed the Road Warriors. He want to be the guy known for managing champions. And unlike the Disciples of Apocalypse, these two definitely have the look of being Tag Team Champions. I just didn’t like how they won the later rounds of the Dusty Rhodes Tournament. Makes them look weak when they really aren’t.

DIY are frikkin impressive alone and together. They were the Match of Round 1 and possibly even the Entire Tournament of the Cruiserweight Classic. And seeing them take on The Revival all those times proved they have what it takes as single competitors or a team. 206, Raw, Smackdown, these two definitely deserve a call up.

The match told a good story. When DIY were in control, they had a strong intensity and excitement. When AoP were in control, they told the story of big men Vs smaller men very well in both having the advantage and losing it. Seeing Tommaso German Suplex both of them one after another was awesome! That double submission being broken was also an awesome spot! 

This is how the AoP should have won the Dusty Classic: by just being dominate. Definitely beatable, but still showing they could dominate. I hope these two teams collide again in the future. So far, the current match were superior to the previous. I wonder if this can keep up.

Seth Rollins invades NXT

More evidence that TakeOver is part of the Big 4 Events. While this could have been done in the Royal Rumble, seeing it part of NXT really shows how close NXT is to the Main Stage. Would love to see more of this sometimes. Maybe a special event where some NXT stars take on WWE Main Stage ones. The Revival Vs America Alpha would show why both teams are a must see. Joe Vs Styles in the WWE. Sanity Vs Wyatts. A lot of fun possibilities without the need to call them up.

Asuka Vs Nikki Cross Vs Billie Kay Vs Peyton Royce

Asuka is fun: nuff said. Can’t tell if she is a heel or a face but I love the fact that when she asked for a match that she demanded all of them. I don’t remember much of Nikki prior to being in Sanity, but talk about making a nice change. This new gimmick is very fun.

Billy and Peyton, on the other hand, I’m not a fan of. As I said before, I prefer heels who can do things on their own. Either by being completely dominate like the AoP did or being sneaky on their own like Eric Young or the Miz. These two do it in a way I dislike: unable to do anything themselves unless they have numbers. Take away the numbers and they are not a threat and honestly not worthy of a title shot.

And the opening proved it as the two acted more like scared children than wrestlers. They also ruin Asuka and Nikki face each other. When those two collide, its frikkin fun! Intensity Vs Insanity. But when Billie and Peyton join, it slows it down and they  continue to work as a team. Its like you have two high speed cars in a race but they have to stop to allow two kids on a tandem bike to catch up.

I will say the Double Suplex off the Announce Table was a cool spot. And in another positive, unlike Jericho and Owens, the two actually didn’t care who got the pin. As long as they have the belt in their possession. But if they didn’t care who won, why not allow one to pin the other? Most likely because neither one wanted to be the one pinned, so pinning the champion would prove their dominance.

But I am glad Asuka defeated the pair while Nikki was taken out via Double Suplex off Announcer Table to Table. It made sure those two are out of the title hunt because they both failed to defeat her and Nikki can get an actual one on one match in the future.

Bobby Roode Vs Shinsuke Nakamura

All I’ve seen on Shinsuke was what he has shown in the WWE. And the first moment he arrived, I believed he was made to be on the Main Stage of the WWE. It was like Japan wanted to design their version of a WWE Superstar and Shinsuke Nakamura is that final product. He is probably going to have the greatest Wrestlemania Entrance ever in the future.

Bobby Roode I saw a lot in TNA. My first real taste of him turning heel was after the first ever TNA event where the winner of a grueling tournament would face the champion. Bobby Roode won that, only to lose the match at the PPV. That was bad in itself, but it got even worse when James Storm, his partner at the time, WON THE TITLE on TV after that. After that, Roode turned heel and won the title. It would have been so much smarter to just have Roode win it all and then turn heel.

But I blame TNA for that and not Bobby Roode. As part of Beer Money I felt the two had a license to print money. As a heel he was great. And now as NXT, he definitely lives up to his new theme song and is Glorious. Though of his three entrances, this one was weaker than his other two TakeOver entrances. Eight ladies kind of pale in comparison with having an actual choir sing your theme song or descending from above to enter the ring.

It was a fun match until the ending. I do hope it was planned and not a real injury. Would hate to see this take Nakamura out of action. But either way, I am glad to see Bobby Roode as Champion in the WWE. If Shinsuke isn’t injured and this is storyline, I do hope we get to see these two again in the future.

Pre-Show

Now the Day of the PPV. NXT was awesome! But can the WWE Royal Rumble itself live up to that hype? Let’s see with the matches that weren’t officially on the card.

Becky Lynch, Nikki Bella, and Naomi Vs Alexa Bliss, Mickie James, and Natalya

There is a lot of people here. Becky is fun. Nikki has been proving herself. And Naomi’s entrance, I hate to say, is more exciting than her. I like Alexa Bliss. She makes a unique heel. Mickie back in the WWE is fun to see. Thanks to her time on the Independent Circuit and TNA, she still has the chops. So weird that Natalya is a heel. As coach, she had a great face gimmick. Sure, it was humorous but it would have gotten over. Considering Tamina is back to full health, I would have had her be the one to attack Nikki.

First, Mickie definitely needs a new theme song. So use to hearing her theme song being more country thanks to her time in TNA. Second, all these story lines in one match? Maybe just have one of them being the pre-show and the others handled in the next PPV. Third, I wish they had an all women Royal Rumble. With the talk of the Woman’s Revolution, it would be cool to see a Full Rumble dedicated to the Wrestlers themselves. 

As for the match itself, that Triple Suplex was a fun spot. Other then that, it was an alright match. Definitely a downgrade after seeing all the TakeOver matches minutes ago. Luckily it wasn’t Mickie or Natalya who were pinned or Becky and Nikki getting the pin. This give Naomi the idea of a singles match at the Elimination Chamber PPV that they have been building up. If Mickie were pinned by Becky or Natalya was pinned by Nikki here, it would have watered down their feuds.

Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson Vs Cesaro and Sheamus

I did enjoy Gallows in the WWE prior to his return. While being Kane was terrible (mostly because of the wig), his time with CM Punk was great. Festus was alright for a gimmick but seeing his real self was much better for him. In TNA, he was in Aces and Eights which I felt was a terrible fraction. Like I said with Billy and Peyton, I hate heels that relies on numbers. And I felt he had the same belief as he left TNA.

Now with Karl Anderson, they became part of the Bullet Club. While I haven’t seen much outside bits in ROH, even I heard of them. And they have been a good team but sadly haven’t gotten the chance to shine until recently. They definitely need a Team Name though. The Club is when they were with AJ Styles (as an allusion to the Bullet Club). 

Speaking of teams who could use a Team Name: Cesaro and Sheamus. I frikkin enjoy Cesaro, especially in recent time. He makes a great singles competitor and has a lot of fun matches. And even in this situation, he still provides fun. Sheamus I have no real problem with. As a face or a heel, he does his job the best he can. I just am tired to see these two together, be it a team or against each other. I feel they both need to move on to something different.

I like the idea of two referees out there. It would make annoying finishes harder to pull off legitimately since we get a ref not distracted by a wrestler. Downside is we don’t get to see the teamwork of heels due to the fact they can’t attack the wrestler while their partner in the ring is being pushed away by the ref.

As for the match itself, I barely notice the second referee except a few times. This could have been a regular tag team match. Besides that, it was a better match than the 3 on 3 but still down from AoP Vs DIY. But I am glad to see Gallows and Anderson finally win the Tag Team Titles.

Nia Jax Vs Sasha Banks

Sasha is definitely fun. Shame she never got the chance to shine as Women’s Champion. Instead, we see her continually choke on the PPVs. As for Nia, I always liked powerful women. I was hoping to see Awesome Kong (Kharma) be successful but sadly things were out of everyone’s hands. Nia did a great job during NXT and I hope she gets that treatment I was hoping to see in WWE.

As for the match itself, it felt like a TV match than a PPV match. Makes sense since this is not the PPV. Technically a stomp for Nia to prove her dominance. So if she were to ever actually go for the Women’s Title, she would have steam behind her.

The Royal Rumble PPV

So far, NXT TakeOver was Superior to the Pre-Show. But then again, the Pre-Show is not the PPV itself. So can its four single matches match or surpass the ones on NXT?

Charlotte Flair Vs Bayley

Charlotte is a mix bag for me. When she’s alone, I feel she is a great heel. But when she was with someone (be it her father or Dana Brooke), I feel she is a terrible one. Like I said, I like my heels who can win on their own: be it dominance or using tricks. Those two directly interfere in the finish making it worse for me. Bayley I hoped would win the title here. Her character is fun and her last set of matches on TakeOver were great! I am hoping she would get the same kind of success on the Main Roster as she did in NXT.

For the match itself, it was pretty good. A little botchy in the beginning but some great moves from both of them (like the Back Slide Reversal from Charlotte). Definitely better than the NXT Women’s Match because they didn’t have to drag two others with them. And Charlotte goes for a dominance victory with a Natural Selection to the apron. Shame Bayley lost cleanly, but she was defeated by a strong attack like that and that at least doesn’t lower her rankings in my book.

Kevin Owens Vs Roman Reigns

I haven’t seen Kevin Steen prior to the WWE, but he has been a fun heel in NXT and his feud with John Cena. Sadly, as Universal Champion he has been hampered with being a bad heel due to needing the assistance. Kevin definitely can be a dominate heel and he has in the past. But honestly he has to stop being Besties with Jericho and be the show.

I don’t really have a problem with Roman. I believe he has been pushed too soon. And I can see why people dislike Roman due to all the “shoving him down our throats”. Hopefully he can develop into his own in the future and actually be a face people can get behind.

Why is the Shark Cage above the Ring? If I was Foley and I saw NXT’s attempt, I would have kept it away from the ring to prevent any shenanigans like throwing down brass knuckles like they did. But in this case, it didn’t matter because it was also No-DQ. That kind of makes the entire “Keep Jericho Out of the Match” pointless. Because being above the ring and ready to drop a weapon pretty much means he was still there in the match.

The match itself, being a No-DQ match, was fun to see. Lots of fun spots with the biggest being KO Frog Splash Roman through a Table on the Outside. But one of the spots had me worried and that was Kevin Owens falling down onto the Tower of Chairs. I really hate spots like these because I fear it would seriously injure them or worse. I only recently got over them breaking Ladders after someone revealed those are specifically made of wood.

The biggest downer was Braun Strowman. At the end, he showed up and attacked Roman Reigns. Once again, despite having the opportunity to show his dominance the writers decide to make him win because of others. And even ignoring that, why Strowman? Was he still upset with the Double Spear or the Spear in that Three on Three? If the first, why not attack Goldberg when he came out? This wouldn’t be the last time I question the Storytelling. 

Neville Vs Rich Swann

I enjoyed Neville as a face. But now that he is a heel, he has definitely improved character wise. His look and his moves definitely makes the Heel turn legit. Rich Swann is fun and exciting in the ring. I was really hoping he would retain the title. But unlike other matches, I wouldn’t have mind if Neville won. This was a match where either outcome would be a positive for me.

The match was exciting and excellent. Neville is definitely the big star of 205 Live. And to see him win by submission showed that he doesn’t need the Red Arrow or to go off the top. He just wants to to inflict more damage. 

John Cena Vs AJ Styles

I have no real problem with Cena. He does a lot for the WWE so he deserves to be their poster boy. AJ Styles definitely lives up to being phenomenal. In TNA, he was the reason you had to watch it. Even after being Mini-Flair, he was still great in the ring. TNA made a grave mistake to letting him go. Seeing him in the WWE so soon had me worried. But eventually in the end he became World Champion, something I never expected. 

I am still surprised how well the two work together. I will say that sometimes Cena does heelish tactics. Would this lead to an actual heel turn or is he trying to add some edge? Overall, best singles match of the PPV alone.

The Royal Rumble Event

Possibly the most stacked card ever. And the potential of surprise entrants are numerous. How did it do? Let’s go over it by elimination.

Jack Gallagher - Entry #5

I was hoping to see this guy be one of the competitors. Outside the Neville story line, he was the highlight of 205 Live. Sadly, his time was too short and he was the first one eliminated when #6 entered the match. But for the brief time he was there, he was a joy to watch.

Mojo Rawley - Entry #4

Mojo is a fun guy in a Tag Team and most likely fun at parties. But as a singles competitor he could use work. Honestly, despite winning the Battle Royal to get in, I was hoping he would be the first one gone. But he lasted longer than Jack and that makes me sad.

Big Cass - Entry #1

He’s pretty good for a big guy, but I like him better with Enzo than a solo act. Sadly, we didn’t get to see the two together because he was eliminated right after Mojo.

Kalisto - Entry #3

I was rooting for him to win the Crusierweight for Smackdown. Sadly, his lost means Raw is also after Smackdown. He’s fun but really needs to be with others his own weight class. But man, that is a lot of height for his elimination.

Mark Henry - Entry #6

Like the three before, Mark was also eliminated by Strowman. I grew up watching Henry from his blue tights being an Olympic hero to being a member of the Nation to Sexual Chocolate and everything between. He definitely deserves a Hall of Fame shot in my book.

The Big Show - Entry #9

Big Show looked good. I believe them when they say this is the most fit he has been in some time. But surprisingly he was there pretty short. Another victim of the Strowman Push.

James Ellsworth - Entry #11

I knew he is a joke entry. I have them a bunch of times in my own Rumble. His spot was funny and that was an impressive bump he took when being eliminated. But I think I am done with the joke Ellsworth. How is the real Ellsworth?

Tye Dillinger - Entry #10

Another guy I wanted to see and even in the exact spot I was hoping for. I was hoping he would last a little longer but sadly he was soon eliminated. 

Braun Strowman - Entry #7

As I type this, I am watching Raw. It was there that they explained, with a clip I totally forgot, that Kevin Owens promised him a title shot after beating Reigns. And Strowman took that as legit. Amazing how one promo can change the results of a match. As for his elimination, I’ll talk about that more when I get to the person he was eliminated by.

The New Day - Kofi #14, Big E #17, Woods #20

Even though they have been around for a long time, I still enjoy their work. Even Woods with his Up Up Down Down channel on Youtube. But for an event that says “Friend Vs Friend”, there is very little friends going on. In fact, these two practically went out at the exact same time.

Cesaro & Sheamus - Entry #19 and #16

Speaking of which, so did they. That is until the final moments. A funny bit was Cesaro getting dizzy hitting everyone with the Big Swing and almost getting Sheamus. But those final moments saw them going against each other and lead to both of them being gone.

Apollo Crews - Entry #22

I feel sorry for Crews. He is definitely good but he was brought up from NXT way too soon. And his time in the Rumble makes that same suggestion. He should probably go back to NXT and wait before WWE actually have a plan with him.

Dean Ambrose - Entry #12

I don’t mind the comedy bits of Dean. I still enjoy him. I just like the Miz better as IC Champion. 

Dolph Ziggler - Entry #24

Ziggler’s chase for the IC title bored me. Besides one time, the Miz always had the upper hand. It is because Miz has a clever use of his wife while Ziggler hits a Glass Ceiling that is invisible. I am glad he turned heel, but in this Rumble you don’t see it. 

Enzo Amore - Entry #27

Talk about a quick time. Like Big Cass, I prefer him with Cass than alone. And his time was quick thanks to Lesnar.

Brock Lesnar - Entry #26

I knew Lesnar wasn’t going to win, but I expected him to at least be the one to Eliminate Goldberg to set up that Wrestlemania Final Match. Instead, Goldberg came in and quickly eliminated him. That shocked me. 

Rusev - Entry #18

Poor Rusev. He has a lot going for him but things just don’t turn out well for him. At least he lasted longer than others.

Baron Corbin - Entry #13

I wasn’t a fan of him before, even when he turned heel. But he has been growing on me. One thing I wanted to see at Survivor Series 2016 was Strowman Vs Corbin. Of the two, I prefer Corbin. My wish failed because of Shane McMahon. But in this rumble, I finally got to see Baron take on Strowman. And with a little help, Corbin was the one to eliminate him. He lasted pretty long too. Maybe in the future he’ll be a World Champion.

Luke Harper - Entry #25

I am honestly surprised that Luke was the one to betray the Wyatt Family. I swear it was going to be Orton and Harper would prove his loyalty. But if he does decide to go solo, here’s hoping he doesn’t return again to the Wyatt Family.

Goldberg - Entry #28

Goldberg did more in this Rumble than his match against Lesnar. But despite what they set up and planned, I am looking forward to seeing Goldberg Vs The Undertaker than either of those other two matches.

The Miz - Entry #15

I was hoping the Miz would win. He is my current favorite wrestler. In that match, practically everyone who entered hit the Miz with one of their best moves. Speared, F5ed, Chokeslammed... While Jericho lasted longer overall, the Miz was in that ring much longer.

Sami Zayn - Entry #8

Zayn is a fun guy and I’ve seen matches of him outside WWE. I am glad he lasted as long as I did but I was hoping to see him at least in the Final Four. Oh well.

The Undertaker - Entry #29

With Goldberg, Lesnar and the Undertaker entering when they did, I was wondering who would be #30. They wouldn’t have done that unless the surprise of the 30th Entrant was worth it. But honestly, it wasn’t. Especially because that person eliminated the Undertaker to set up a Wrestlemania match.

Chris Jericho - Entry #2

I am a big fan of Jericho. He was the first heel I ever cheered for. And in this Rumble, he surpassed Triple H by lasting almost 5 hours in total. Sadly, he didn’t do much as he spent a good number of time outside. 

Bray Wyatt - Entry #21

I enjoy Wyatt. Love his gimmick and his group. While I question the entry of Orton into the fray, it does seem to be working for him. And Final 3 is a great spot to be in.

Roman Reigns - Entry #30

I was upset that Reigns was #30. While the possibility that Joe or Finn would be in the Rumble stung, the real issue was one thing: HOW?!? In story, McMahon hates Reigns. And she was definitely in charge of who enters the Rumble. So how on Earth did she okayed Reigns to enter? So far he hasn’t appeared on Raw so unless he becomes a heel working with the Authority, I don’t like the fact he did enter the Rumble.

Winner: Randy Orton - Entry #23

And our winner is the 7th Two Time Winner. Orton has his ups and down but he seems to be doing well in the Wyatt Family. But now that he won the title, what is gonna happen? Well, we’ll find out when Smackdown is on Tomorrow. I honestly expected him to be the betrayer in this PPV. Looks like I was wrong

Overall

Overall, it was a fun Weekend for Wrestling Fans. TakeOver was awesome and the Rumble was still fun. Now I am looking forward to do my own.

[smoothshift]

18 Months with a Civic Type R - My thoughts via /r/cars

18 Months with a Civic Type R - My thoughts

Roughly 20 months ago, I had made the decision to look for a Civic Type R that I could buy from a dealer. After a few days of searching, I was able to get one to agree to sell it as MSRP. What I never told the salesperson is that I didn't even know how to drive a manual transmission vehicle. Good thing he didn't let me take it for a test drive. Although stalling out of the dealership and an obscene amount of times on the way home was embarrassing enough.

Truthfully, for the first few days, I regretted the purchase, because I was doing a shit job at learning how to drive manual. Some people say it only takes a day to get the hang of it; well, for me, it took about a week and then 8 months to become decent at it. Once it all clicked though, I saw why driving manual transmission cars is so rewarding. 20K miles and two unfortunate accidents later (one of which wasn't even my fault), and I've finally reached 18 months as being a Type R owner. The journey has been full of adventure, plenty of mistakes and failure, and lots of opportunities to improve.

So today, while I would love to go out for a spirited drive in my Type R, I am unable to do so due to agonizing back pain that has cropped up in the past week. I believe it's sciatica, I am getting it looked at early next week. But I won't let that cloud my thoughts. In truth, I would like to present my thoughts after being an owner for a decent amount of time.

The great:

Simply put, the Civic Type R is one of the most exhilarating cars to drive, bar none. It doesn't always have to be in max attack mode, but when it is, the engineering prowess of Honda's racing heritage is shown in full force. The steering is practically perfect, the suspension, while lately it's been affecting me, is sublime on most road surfaces. There's barely any body roll, the turn in is razor sharp, and the engine pulls unlike anything I've seen for a sub $35K car. In short, driving it is immensely rewarding. Twisty roads turn into ecstasy when you're all alone. The auto rev match feature is great for people (read: me) who might struggle with rev matching themselves. The negative there is I've become reliant on the feature otherwise I do an awkward rev match / clutch slippy mess myself when I find myself needing to.

No matter what everyone says over the internet, the Type R gets attention, and a lot of is positive. People stare and turn their heads when you pass by. It looks like nothing else on the road, a jet fighter with wheels, and at least to me, I love how it looks. Now, the caveat is, washing this car is a royal pain in the ass. All of those angles make for an exceptionally difficult time to clean properly. At least the Championship White paint doesn't look bad when you're not on top of it if you don't wash it for a few days.

The brakes are fantastic. There is an almost violent level of force when you slam on these brakes, and they are built to handle it. The brakes have saved my ass a couple of times because of idiocy on the road, and for spirited driving, they will meet your expectations and more.

The interior design I love. It's very expressive, and the red does a lot to make the thing pop. One thing I will say is that I wish the back seats matched the front a bit more. It's like they cheaped out back there.

The amount of cargo this thing can hold is insane. I think it holds just a little bit less than my RAV4, and that's saying something! It is an incredibly practical car.

I think it's something to mention that, despite learning manual (TERRIBLY) on the car, which some said is an incredibly stupid idea, I haven't found evidence of clutch slip or excessive wear. To me, that's incredibly refreshing, because I can't understate how much I sucked in the beginning.

Lastly, the fact it's value is still around $30K even with 20K miles on it is a testament to how well this car is selling. Dealers are still marking them up, in fact.

The okay:

The transmission, while rewarding most of the time, does seem to have it's days. I have found that operating the transmission more slowly seems to keep it happy. When you're driving hard, the transmission seems to be more likely to do something stupid, and by that, I mean grind a gear, emit a crunchy shift, or in some cases, lock you out of a gear. All of my grinds have come from high revs (5K or higher) and fast shifts. Shifting slower has yielded less drama from it. The feel of the shifter is great when it is happy though - the gears are just notchy enough to provide you confirmation that it's in gear, and the clutch has a good feel to it. The bite point is a bit vague if I'm being honest, but for the most part, you know exactly when you are engaging the clutch.

The infotainment is like every other 10th generation Civic. It is adequate - it's not going to wow you, and it certainly won't impress you. It does it's job well enough, but you will see the screen lag or freeze from time to time. The factory navigation is fairly slow too. I wish the new infotainment the Accord got would've been dropped into the Civic, but I have a feeling it won't.

Fuel economy definitely depends on how you drive. I average about 28 MPG, which is great for what the car is. The fuel tank however is pretty damn small, at only 12.3 gallons, so you won't be getting more than 310 miles usually if you meet the EPA combined fuel economy. It also requires premium gas, so keep that in mind. I have not tried it with regular 87, because that just seems like a dumb idea.

The bad:

Let's talk about the paint quality. For a $35K car, even if it's just a hotted up version of an economy car, you kind of expect there to be a little more polish and quality. Well, the paint on the Civic sucks, honestly. It is incredibly thin and prone to chipping from the smallest rocks. I lost count at how many rock chips I have on my paint. It's more than I can count on my fingers. I honestly think anyone who plans on DDing this car should invest in PPF for the front bumper. I definitely should've.

The wheels. The wheels look GREAT, BUT, I cannot tell you how easy they are to damage. The car comes stock with 30-series sidewall on summer tires. I bumped into a curb accidentally going no more than 2 mph and I curbed a wheel. The sound the car makes when you hit a pothole is stomach churning, and I am really surprised I haven't killed a wheel or tire yet. I wish there was a smaller wheel option. The 20s work well in performance applications, but for a DD they are overkill. The other part of that equation is tires are insanely expensive for these 20 inch wheels. A set of Michelin Pilot Sport 4s cost me around $1650 for 4 tires. Even all season tires cost me around $1400.

​

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So what's next for me? Well, as I said previously, I'm currently dealing with some of the most excruciating back pain I've ever had to deal with. The pain gets worse when driving the CTR, while it doesn't happen when I drive other cars. I believe it's because my posture in the Type R sucks honestly, but I don't really fault that as a car problem. For many people, it doesn't give them issues, so I won't call it out as a negative.

Ultimately, until I get the back pain sorted out, I'm not able to drive my car. And for me, that is beyond depressing. I love my Type R. I love everything about driving it. It has so much sentimental value to me that I honestly don't know if I could trade it in, even if it turns out that driving it is, at least in my situation, a bad idea. I will never say the Type R isn't a good car, because it's a fantastic car. If anyone wants to buy one, I encourage them to do so. You won't regret it. I don't regret a single part of owning my car. It hurts to sit outside my bedroom window and see my car, all while I am unable to enjoy it.

Sorry for the long winded post, but I'm cooped up all day and have nothing better to do. I feel like I've been slightly decidedly negative about my CTR in the past couple of days on here, and that was never my intention. I want to show that this car is still very much so in my heart and to lose it would be heartbreaking.

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If anyone has any questions on the car, I'd be happy to answer them. I've got nothing better to do anyways while I sit in agony lol. Hope this helps and thanks for listening!

[caredogstips]

5 Components Of Small Town Life That We Cuss To God Are Real

Last week I was on a pretty well-received doubled podcast, speak about what it’s like growing up in a small town. Like most small town floors, the longer we talked, the weirder it got … and even after the recording, I realized that these areas have a lot more strange peculiarities that sound like the goddamn Twilight Zone to people who have never lived here. No, seriously.

5

Given Enough Time, You Will Be On The Front Page Of The Newspaper

I feel sorry for small town newspaper reporters. Every once in a great while, something appalling happens and provides them with an easy-going fragment of content for the working day. Like maybe the mayor goes busted for his third DUI and a brick of gras, or a coach gets arrested for masturbating in his gondola at a stoplight. Well, I mention “maybe, ” but both of those situations genuinely happened in the town I grew up in. The level is, we get at most three or four of those types of legends per year. The other 361 days are pure filler.

When you’re extending for content, anything becomes information. The prom queen doesn’t only oblige the figurehead page … she is the front page. The whole front page. The same stuff happens for the homecoming ruler. This is going to sound like a prank, but when I was a kid, I was on the front page of the newspaper because I noted a big mushroom. My brother became the front page for catching a big fish. My pa was on it for proliferating a huge tomato … four times .

Here’s a photo of my local newspaper. These parties are on the front sheet because they’re off-load boxes for a benevolence. It takes up half of the front page TAGEND

It’s actually harder to find someone who hasn’t been on the front page of the newspaper, than to meet people who have. When you take away the “front page” modifier and precisely talking here being in the newspaper as a whole, virtually everyone clears that schedule. Because in every small town article I’ve ever seen, there is a segment devoted to felonies. And when I enunciate “crimes, ” I represent all violations, from meth labs to jaywalking. If you get a ticket for driving 40 mph in a 30 mph zone, you’re in the next day’s paper.

I lived in Los Angeles for a couple of years back in the late 90 s, and when I told my new friends about this, they announced bullshit. I had to have one of my hometown friends forward me one of their newspapers so I didn’t look insane.

But it moves so far. Are you getting married? You’re taking up half of sheet three with your notice. You started a small business? There will be an entire article about it on page two. In the cities I currently live in, I haven’t told many beings what I do for a living because they’d consider that a kind of “celebrity” and there would be a spread on me within dates. That’s not paranoia — “theres” segments of our paper devoted to an old woman who certificates her epoch. As in, “My grandson came over today. He ate beans and hotdogs for lunch. We did some gardening. Earl set my irrigate heater, and mentioned I shouldn’t require a new one for a couple of years.”

Again , not a gag. That’s absolutely real.

If your neighbourhood school prevails a plays championship, that’s obviously going to shape the front sheet of the newspaper, but I saved that precedent because that one will be even weirder…

4

Sports Victories Go On The Town’s Sign Forever

Drive through the South and Midwest long enough, and you’ll start to see signalings like TAGEND

BONERTOPOLIS: Population 872 — 1996 Girls’ Jr. High Volleyball Regional Champions

The town’s name is certainly made up( though when I ultimately build my own municipality, that’s what I’m calling it ), but the rest of that information is not. If your neighbourhood plays teams — and by that, I symbolize junior high and high school — acquires any kind of championship, your town will reputation you by putting that information on the road signed. And that shit stays there eternally .

Your town becomes known for that, even if the championship was 30 years ago. My original hometown had acquired four regime championships: two in the 1970 s and two more in the 1980 s. For each year, a picture of the team was blown up to 10 hoofs wide and hung side by side on the gymnasium’s wall. Those four, massive, black-and-white photos tower over everyone while we played dodging ball in PE. Judging us. Criticizing us.

TerryJ/ iStock Except Tony. That guy was a fucking prodigy .

Remember the indicate Married … With Children ? Al Bundy was a former high school football star, and in several episodes, he’s treated like a god by some old friends who remember the big game. Everyone else kind of buns their seeings at his old “glory days” floors, but there are a handful of people who still worshipped him. Take that small-scale group and expand it to the whole township, and that’s what Midwestern and Southern small towns are like.

The discrepancies between real small-town athletics heroes and Al Bundy is that if you take advantage of that minor fame, you can make a very good living from it. I know several members of those old-fashioned units who used their mentions as advertising and started very successful occupations. When everyone in city knows your name, advertising your business is just necessary.

vm/ iStock GET that shit out of my FACE, son! This is MY house !

Remember the high school basketball hero from Parks And Recreation ? In a small town, that person isn’t sarcastic. He’s absolutely real.

3

You Can Gauge Someone’s Wealth By Their Truck’s Tires

I mentioned earlier that I formerly lived in Los Angeles. I actually lived in quite a few big cities before reconciling down in my current small town. One circumstance I always obtained creepy was that in a town, you can easily tell someone’s fortune by what they drive … but it’s not how you think. Obviously, if anyone owns a Porsche or Ferrari, they’re either rich or a GTA character. It exits a bit farther than that, though.

Both middle-class and rich people can render a mid-range sports car like a Mustang or a Charger. But rich people will typically have 1) the decked out form, and 2) theirs will be cleaner. Not just because they can afford to have it cleaned more often, but because they are much more likely to own a garage, so birds aren’t shitting on it all day. Obviously, all of that is a exceedingly loose the principles of the rule of thumb, but you get where I’m going with it.

ewastudio/ iStock Definitely under $40 k a year .

Yes, we do have luxury and sports cars here, but everyone normally knows, “Damn, that’s a sugared Mercedes. Oh, yeah, that’s the doctor’s car.” In a small town, especially in the Midwest and South, the majority of members of vehicles are trucks. And though “luxury” trucks do exist, you won’t find numerous here, because trucks are used for duty and practicality. So the majority of members of trafficking in human beings is Silverados, F150s, and Rams. Each with a bigass pup in the bed. At this quality, I’m pretty sure the dogs come with the trucks, whether you miss one or not.

So here’s my extent: Since all of the trucks mostly search the same, and most of them “re in the same” general rate range, the only room to tell someone’s financial status is to look at the tires. If you determine a jacked-up truck with a huge raise paraphernalium( those raise it up, various kinds of like a monster truck) and monstrous tires, you know the person makes a reasonably damn good living. Or at the least their parents do.

That’s because those bigass tires can cost a duo thousand dollars for a start. No, seriously, here’s one type of “muddin'” tire for $550 each . That’s not counting the rims. Add in a fancy fixed of those, and you can easily double that toll. That lift gear I mentioned? Tacking on another $1400. Crave a badass exhaust system? Here’s another $1500. “Theres” 18 -year-old kids in my municipality who have more coin wrapped up in tires and supplementaries than I do in my entire vehicle. But because we all dress basically the same way in this field( jeans, t-shirts, baseball hats ), the only room you’d ever know they had money is by seeing that truck.

2

Guidances Are … Weird

I mentioned on that bigass podcast that devoting guidances in a small town is pretty weird for people who’ve never lived in one. Since everyone knows everybody else( even if they don’t know you, they’re familiar with you ), directions often boil down to, “You know where Chad Nickelback lives, right? I’m right across the street from him.”

Even if you don’t know the exact being, you know the place by the tales associated with them TAGEND

“You know James Countryfuck, right? “

“Hmmmmm … I don’t think so.”

“Yeah, ya do. He’s got that bigass Rottweiler that killed Susan Thunderfist’s cat back in October. The big green live that had the burn back in 2010? “

“OOOOOHHHH, yeah, I know the place.”

I don’t think that’s all that outraging to people who live in metropolitans, though. I entail, we’ve identified movies with trash like that in them. What I find actually strange is the fact that we often give directions in relation to where acts USED to be. As in, “You know where the Dairy Queen used to be? It’s two obstructs down from there.”

There are two reasons for that. The first is that businesses often appear and disappear in a matter of years. Fast-food eateries tend to stick around, but local mama and papa accumulations go out of business lightning fast. Any business that persists around long enough to commit to remembrance was becoming landmark. Then when that landmark vanishes, the only practice you know to describe it is in relation to what it used to be. “Remember the old-time dildo plant that’s now a faith? My house is down that road.”

The second reason is strangely because of the 911 organization. That didn’t make its road into a lot of rural areas until the mid 1980 s. Before that, all of the many, numerous dirt and gravel roads were not distinguished or referred. If you called the police or fire department or simply sacrificed guidances to a sidekick, it was done in that same space, just to get them to the road that leads to your live . The streets in city were called, clearly, but a large part of the town’s inhabitants lived in the country.

Once the 911 method was enforced, the roads had to be named in order to give better( actual) tendencies. Otherwise, half of the emergency announces would be, “OK , now you’re gonna switch off of the freeway where Benny Farmshovel’s old-time cattle farm used to be. Then you’re gonna drive about six miles until you look the old garbage yard.” We exactly never got over that procedure of contributing directions, so we still do it.

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The “Friendliness” Can Get Imposing And Outright Creepy

Let me tell you a tale about a high-school kid who got a dildo stuck in his ass.

The story starts that a person I went to high school with bought a dildo for his girlfriend. She told him she wouldn’t employment it until he did. So “hes taking” one for the team and used it. All of it. And then some. After a very extended effort to remove it himself, he realise it wasn’t going to come out without some medical assistance. So he drove himself to the emergency room, had it removed, and no one is spoke of it again.

Until four minutes later when every single person on research hospitals staff spoke of it again. And again. And again. They went home and told their marriages. Their spouses told their friends. Their acquaintances told everyone at every table. Eventually, everybody in township know exactly why it — and when I articulate “eventually, ” I intend “by sundown.”

In a small town, “youre not” anonymous. If you’ve ever sold so much as a single seam, everyone knows you as “the drug dealer.” If you’re a teenage girl who bought teenage pregnancies measure, you are now “the high school slut, ” even if you’ve exclusively had fornication formerly. It doesn’t even matter if your fib is “juicy” or not. One of your best friend went to the only proper eatery in township and had a salad. The next day, one of his teachers asked him if he was on a food. Because she knew the attendant, and somewhere in the middle of bullshit small talk, his figure came up, and the server mentioned he only ordered a salad.

But, hey, perhaps you don’t used to go that much. Perhaps you don’t have a “thing” for them to label you as. You’re not the “child molester” or “7am mowing guy.” You exactly obstruct to yourself and simply go out of the house when you were supposed to. Yeah , now you’re the most famous person in city, because nobody knows nothing about you. You’re strange. You’re “the creepy guy who never comes out of his house.”

Have you ever seen Gilmore Girls ? The path their fellow citizens of that municipality operate is route a little bit closer to actuality than parody.

It’s not just gossip, though. Since you often only have one or two grocery stores, you end up on a first-name basis with every teller. Buying nutrient becomes a social event … which may sound cheerful at first, until you’re standing in line, waiting to pay for your ice cream, and the four parties in front of you all start the talks with the girl behind the counter.

“Hi, Nancy! How are the kids? “

“Oh, they’re going huuuuuge! Jason is in football this year. And last week, you won’t feel what he did at the family reunion. You know how my uncle Barry only has one leg, right? Well, Jason was play-wrestling with him like they do, and…”

Every. Single. Customer. They still keep talking, even after they’ve paid. If you interrupt them, you’re the asshole, because they were just being friendly. You’re the impatient dickhead who can’t wait two extra hours for them to wrap up their speech. By the time you get to the front of the line, you’re not buying ice cream, you’re to purchase a bad milkshake.

Don’t get me wrong — I affection it here. It’s quiet and simple-minded. It’s tightening. But to my friends who live in large-scale metropolitans, it’s the fucking Twilight Zone . Still, I desire the look upon their faces when they have to have an emergency dildo removal while they’re call, and the teller questions them about it the next day. It’s why I live here.

John Cheese is a Sr. Editor and head of article for Cracked. Here’s his stupid Twitter .

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