#like the english 101 type shit

[solemntitty]

ouegh we are going back to pre-medication levels of understanding words that people speak

[girlscoutbrownies]

sbg headcanons!

(i had to put a title because it keeps just showing up as “aiden” in my notifs)

some of my favourite school bus graveyard headcanons! (in celebration of 101 followers) some are mine, some belong to other people that i’ve taken as well

these got really, really long so ill split it into two parts: aiden, tyler, and taylor for this post and ashlyn, ben, and logan will be in the next

——

aiden

(bit of a tw for disassociation around the end)

- uses he/any pronouns, he mostly doesn’t give a fuck. also doesn’t care if you stick to he/him because he likes it. he also tries out mirror pronouns every once in a while and flipflops between any

- unlabelled energy. also doesn’t care abt that type of stuff, but he’s asexual and it takes him a while to grow feelings. he’s afraid of letting people close to him but it really doesn’t matter to him, not that much. he’s pretty apathetic about it

- generally smells like shittily applied cedarwood cologne. it’s one of those cheap drugstore brands and sometimes he forgets to apply it in the morning, and he doesn’t spray it very well. also smells like grass sometimes

- his favourite subject is psychology/maths/anything logic based (he likes those puzzles). growing up with his bitchass karen mom who probably twisted all the words he said, he doesn’t like cryptic or vague language or poetry (english class) because it reminds him of her. in math, there’s only one answer. in english, there’s hundreds. also the words swim on the paper and he finds it hard to focus

- he has his ears pierced. he begged his parents to take him to an ear piercing studio they just ended up taking him to claire’s but he was still so happy about it

- he BEGGED for a dog or a pet when he was very little but eventually stopped at some point. he asked for stuffed animals and never got any because “it would be too hard to keep track of when we’re moving and you would lose them and get sad” and he’s still very upset about it. used to hug like three pillows when he slept

- he was told they were settling down in georgia and now his current room has millions of stuffed animals i will not hear any arguments about this

- he’s a kicker in his sleep (when he gets any). he kicks plushies off his bed like all the time, he’s not apologetic though he’s just like “oh shit”

- worst and best guy to have a sleepover with. super clingy

- he knows very few actual life skills other than operating a microwave for frozen meals because he largely grew up alone without his parental figures in his life. ashlyn and tyler eventually teach him how to cook

- his growth is stunted bc of that period in his life and he’s short like ashlyn

- he is a HORRIBLE gossip addict. they’ll be sitting at the lunch table eating in silence and he drops “did you hear that samantha’s parents are divorced and madison dropped her bc samantha’s mom doesn’t drive them to the mall anymore” like HUH WHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS?

- he gets school lunch and very rarely (if ever) brings lunch from home. sometimes ben makes him lunches

- plays with his food (this is canon) but he makes storylines out of whatever he does its like his personal roman empire

- big fan of extreme foods (spicy, sour, etc) ((he grew up eating plain ramen)) and loves weird food combinations. everyone always makes weird faces at him when theyre at the mall and he orders weird shit

- he doesn’t know proper meal etiquette until someone has to tell him, his parents didn’t teach him anything (I HATE THEM)

- he’s a really bad cook like ben because he always ends up getting distracted, and somehow manages to skip over steps in the recipes.

- he probably likes cooking shows though and is like “yeah i could do that” (he can’t do that)

- the first time someone (tyler) made aiden a homecooked meal he started cry laughing (it was mostly crying) (nobody talks about it)

- the few times his mom has made him meals whenever she’s home they’re really bad. they don’t taste anything like home, but he didn’t know what home tasted like so he just cried. his mom thought it was because of how good it was (it wasn’t) and he just cried harder

- he dislikes bitter flavours, especially like, orange juice that you make from scratch but you don’t put any sugar in it (it’s because his mom once tried to make homemade orange juice/lemonade to feel more like a “real mom” and it was horrible

- he’ll still eat bitter food though he just wouldn’t like it that much

- likes crunchy food or food that pops in your mouth (poprocks) bc he thinks its cool

- probably needs glasses from how long he’s spent staring at screens (his backstory)

- the one thing his parents consistently did as a kid was take him to his doctors appointments so he has stellar teeth

- he’s fit and fairly athletic (jumping off walls and all) but he doesn’t play sports because he just. isn’t interested in any of it. he tries everything but nothing really sticks that much

- he eats his greens but probably wouldn’t care much for the healthy vegan lifestyle, not that much of a picky eater (this part is canon)

- his favourite holiday is halloween because 1. candy (which he didn’t get much as a kid unless he specifically asked for it or ben brought it over) and 2. he loves dressing up it’s so fun to him

- understimulation is the BANE of his existence he genuinely wants to tear out his own hair every time he gets like that. gets really irritated

- he disassociates a lot, generally experiences a lot of derealization. he doesn’t feel like he’s in his own body sometimes

- insomniac

- chases thrills so that he can “feel” something. doesn’t care if it hurts him or not, because at least then he’ll remember he’s a real person and that his life matters

- really bad at telling when people are lying/are irritated with him. he just keeps pushing until they explode

- good with secrets (his own) but isn’t good at deflecting if asked about someone else’s. he’s just like “ummm. would u look over there. a bird!”

- runs really fast, he wakes up early in the morning to take a walk around the neighborhood. he sometimes encounters tyler if he happens to go into his city (which is often, because he doesn’t like being in his house)

- his house is always really cold, which is why he tends to run really warm (his body is compensating). he knows how to turn the ac off, but it always ends up turning back on in the middle of the night

- he grew up learning The Gifted Child instrument; the piano. he dislikes classical music (he says it’s boring but it’s because of this). he also almost got forced to learn the violin but he once practiced so hard his fingers started bleeding which is how he got out of it

- likes verbal validation bc his parents never told him they were proud of him

taylor

- she/they cis demigirl, gets a bit upset at being misgendered though (people think she’s the transfem twin because tyler passes really well)

- bisexual fem pref

- decorates her locker for almost every occasion. halloween, christmas, easter, birthdays. also decorates other people’s lockers for their birthdays before school starts with sticky notes

- has tons of stuff in her locker (except food because tyler won’t let her) just in case anyone needs anything but she’s not very organized so she doesn’t know where anything is

- because of this she’s one of those people that barely makes it to the door before the bell rings but she’s trying to fix that habit

- enjoys crime documentaries/true crime, horror stuff. used to make tyler watch with her but his anxiety gets really bad and he started getting paranoid

- adores christmas bc it’s a family holiday she makes tyler and her mom homemade gifts every year

- loves dogs with every bone in her body she asks santa for one every year but alas. tyler always has to write “a letter from santa” back saying they ran out of dogs at the north pole

- uses emoticons like “:D :] :3” all the time when she types, downloaded a bunch of sticker packs too. especially cat ones

- had her future all planned out as a kid and told her dad she’d be a mechanical engineer and build trains and rockets to bring him places when he started getting really sick and couldn’t move anymore

- her hair is actually kind of dry (compared to aiden’s or ashlyn’s) because they couldn’t afford great shampoo or anything

- has an ehh skincare routine and doesn’t care much for her fashion sense, just wears whatever’s comfortable

- knows a lot of random facts as conversation starters, she’s surprisingly good at small talk ( + comforting people)

- gossips with aiden aallll the time bc she’s super sociable and knows lots of people who tell her secrets. she doesn’t tell any of the important ones but just little drama things

- her and aiden are bffs

- really likes kids because they’re funny, she has a big imagination like them so it’s easy for her to play with them

- she’s a swiftie and whenever someone asks her if she likes taylor swift as a joke bc of her name she says “i like all music!” (she loves tswift)

- really likes sweets over most types of food, she’s healing her inner child guys

- has always ALWAYS wanted to go to a circus/carnival/festival when she was younger, but they couldn’t afford tickets. she still has that dream but she obviously has bigger priorities now…

tyler

- transmale he/him

- doesn’t care that much about dating, he actually doesn’t think about it that much until he meets The Gang. he always too busy taking care of his family to bother with relationships

- dislikes heavy meals, eats in small portions. it’s a habit

- used to be a picky eater but isn’t anymore, when he was younger they struggled to put food on the table so

- he’s like tigris from ballad of songbirds and snakes; when he prepared food for the family he’d eat bits and pieces of it while cooking. eats raw meat sometimes but once got sick from it so never again because he doesn’t want people taking care of him

- he HATES being sick. HATES HATES HATES it, hates having to burden people

- stress cooks because he likes having things to do with his hands. he also runs laps/paces around when he’s stressed

- runs his hands through his hair so it’s always messy

- he doesn’t bother combing his hair unless it’s for a special occasion like the first day of school, he just doesn’t care that much

- gets up early like aiden to keep up his physical fitness, doesn’t stray far though because his mom wakes up around the same time he does

- is VERY punctual. will be furious if someone makes plans and then is late. always arrives somewhere like, fifteen minutes early. he’s trying to break taylor’s habit of being late

- occasionally scolds taylor about how messy her locker is

- is extremely (and kind of scarily) meticulous. clean backpack, clean locker, clean room. it’s a habit

- book smart and figures things out pretty easily. he has an internal computer inside his head i swear. latches onto concepts very quickly

- likes math because he’s good at memorizing concepts but biology is his worst enemy, he gets queasy very easily

- motion sickness

- doesn’t actually have a set plan for the future, other than “help his family.” will probably do something related to sports (sports scholarship) or will do something math/analytical related

- spams people when they don’t respond to him but quits eventually (semicanon)

- has some sort of separation anxiety i swear he does

- keeps every single promise he makes because he hates broken promises (his dad told him he’d be fine and out of the hospital soon), he also doesn’t make a lot of promises

- dislikes nicknames like “champ” and “buddy”

- he’s ambidextrous

- he always seems to be like, tense? can’t relax at all. it might be because of his anxiety (HE HAS ANXIETY)

- only ever relaxes if he’s at home

- rarely watches television, he says it’s a waste of time (he always gets distracted and gets up and goes to do something else) he can leave it in the background though

- i think he has chronic pain, i don’t know where but i just think he does. everything just aches sometimes and he’s so young fuck life

- he’s okay with kids like his sister, not as good as her but he’ll take care of them (habit x37362828) he’d probably say everything really monotone though “there’s santa claus, wow.”

- he and taylor both have a pretty strong southern accent from living in middle of nowhere georgia (i think someone made an art post on this a while back :D)

- is really bad at video games because he gets frustrated easily

- he grinds his teeth when he sleeps and has jaw pain what a loser

[ironstrangeao3]

Clumsy Teenagers 101 with Future Step-Dad

by Lexi_lulu

After a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors with Ned, (using his good arm) Dr. Steven Strange and all his glory came bursting into the room, worry etched across his face. His eyes quickly found Peter’s and he seemed to have significantly calmed down.

“Pete, god what happened?”

“Nothing bad.” He shrugged, as the cloak of levitation quickly wrapped itself around him.

“Peter, your face looks like sh*t and your shoulder is clearly dislocated.”

Or

Peter is a klutz and Dr. Strange has to deal with him in the nurse’s office.

Words: 642, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Peter Parker, Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds, Andre "Coach" Wilson, Stephen Strange, Tony Stark, May Parker (Spider-Man)

Relationships: Peter Parker & Stephen Strange, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

Additional Tags: Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Stephen Strange Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Mentioned May Parker (Spider-Man), Mentioned Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Protective Tony Stark, Protective Stephen Strange, Protective Ned Leeds, Clumsy Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Break, Parent Stephen Strange, Parent Tony Stark, Precious Peter Parker, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker is a Mess, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, BAMF Peter Parker, Stephen Strange Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Feels, Stephen Strange Feels, Fluff

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/46647943

[moni-logues]

I think I understand what you mean about true crime, it's like the industry romanticizes it, right? I also don't like the way it's told/popularized by the media in a way. That whole Dahmer documentary on Netflix and everyone transforming/dressing like him and falling in love with Dahmer was kind of disgusting. But I want to study psychology someday, so it's something that kind of appeals to me.

Yeah, I saw Dexter. I think Dexter and Hannibal are like: 101 Popular Psychopaths You Should Know.

And yeah, I meant like a reader x member story that's not told from the reader's point of view. But I've also never read anything with a third-person narrator. I miss that when I read fics instead of books. I'm sorry, it's just that English isn't my first language.

About uni aus… it's not that I don't like it completely, you know? It's just something that doesn't make me want to read, you know? I find it a bit… silly, BUT I still read it, even if I don't like it that much, I think that even if I don't like it, I can still get something out of the story that I can enjoy or learn from. And sometimes it's something you learn to like over time,

me from five years ago would say: who reads fantasy? what's the point? is it to escape yourself and your boring capitalist life?

I've read a lot of fantasy nowadays and would probably say to the me of the past: What's the big deal? girl, what's the big deal with YOU? try reading, have fun even if you don't like it or hate it. And what I'm talking about… I love to read things I hate just to torture myself... yes, I'm that weird.

but, of course, your case is different, you don't like/love this kind of type of reading/trope

That said, I'm reading After Hours by @archivedkookie. It's uni au! but I also love basketball and I love Yoongi so… it's the best of both worlds.

If you liked Hali's Angel, try Obsidian's Yoongi, also by Hali (I'm sus to talk about it, I've read it a hundred times). Hali challenges you with what you don't like? 😁😁 She's good, right? 🤪 And now that I realize I misspelled it, it's @pennyellee.

Thank YOU for interacting with me, I know you're busy and I really love interacting with people and getting to know them better. -lilshy

girl, istg, I am the least busy person in the world lmaoooooo I have NO social life in the city I live in so my weekends are just me on my one lol I was supposed to be painting my bathroom as it's been replastered but the plaster hasn't fucking dried yet so I've done nothing. I got out of bed at noon today 😅😅

and yes that Dahmer shit is exactly the thing I'm talking about. it's fucking gross and there's a lot of true crime stuff where victims' families are like... very much still alive (or even victims themselves depending on the crime) and I find it kind of weird and gross that people are so fucking rabid about consuming content and getting excited about like.... the worst experiences of people's lives y'know?

haha I have grown out of hate-reading! now, if I don't like something, I give up, or I skim very quickly to see how it turns out. but I don't want to waste time on things I don't enjoy. life is too short and too difficult and too miserable already y'know? i need to spend time with what I like.

I feel like I might have seen After Hours on my dash but I've not read that either! I have so many fics in my likes right now waiting to be read that it's going to start giving me anxiety lol but I will bear it in mind when I've got through some!

and honestly, all of Hali's masterlist (that I've not read already) is on my tbr list. she's a prolific bitch (affectionate) lmao 🤣 AND Jai @gimmethatagustd

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Artificial Intellegence

by siren_of_the_ocean "Ritsu!" Tim greets this Visage like an old friend. Bruce isn't sure how to feel about that. Because this isn't a person Bruce recognises as one of Tim's friends. Not an old classmate. Nothing. And Bruce knows all of Tim's friends. Words: 676, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 101 of Tim Drake AU's Fandoms: Assassination Classroom, Red Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Batfamily Members, Ritsu (Assassination Classroom) Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Class 3-E (Assassination Classroom) & Tim Drake, Tim drake & Ritsu (Assassination classroom) Additional Tags: Crack, Crack Crossover, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim Drake is a Menace, Tim Drake is a secretive little shit via https://ift.tt/odPaef4

[mxbitters]

i will die mad that i didn’t get to be a boy scout

[mcdonaldsnumberone]

나야 나!

produce 101/idol au hcs

these r really rudimentary thoughts so . do what u will with them

rin does Not give a fuck about fanservice. he’s the type of edgy contestant that stares at the camera and goes “watch me,” and his fans eat that shit up.

producers will be BEGGING this boy to smile and do some finger hearts at the camera, and he grimaces instead saying smth like “why do i need cheap tricks to show my skill as an entertainer?” MF UR ON AN IDOL SURVIVAL SHOW

otoya, on the other hand, lives to suck up to his fans. always stops in the middle of going from place to place to sign people’s banners, phones, fans, etc… it takes him forever to get from one place to another because of that

he also strikes me as the kind of guy who has all the tea abt everyone in the idol industry?? if u ever upset him, you better pray that otoya doesn’t call up blue lock’s version of dispatch the moment he gets a second alone. bllk! dispatch wld be out of business if it wasnt for him feeding them crumbs of idol drama 💀

bachira is the idol that’s constantly spamming social media. it’ll be 3 am in the morning, and everyone’s notifications are going ham because he’s posting shit like “my guts are baja blasting 🤪🤪🤪” while going through his post-taco bell poop.

at the same time though, he’s probably the one that’s the most “genuine” on camera? he does whatever he wants, so he doesn’t feel a need to fake a parasocial relationship with fans or craft a work persona. this is both a managerial nightmare and a dream-come-true, but we fuck w it here

i also think bachira wld be a dancer btw

nagi livestreams all his gaming sessions. sometimes he’ll set up an among us room to play with his fans (cough nct taeyong cough). he falls asleep all the time whenever he isn’t actively performing, so fans will sometimes play “where’s waldo” with nagi whenever another member is filming stuff backstage.

he’s also RIPPED so like people will sometimes ask him to show his abs and he’ll be like :X before yanking his shirt up. he doesn’t get why people ogle over him, but hey, it gets his bills paid so who is he to complain

karasu’s a rapper. i think the visual of him leaning back in his studio while working on songs is sooooooo hot. bonus points if we get pictures of his hands n stuff

ok i Know rin technically is the first place and leader of bllk eleven, but for some reason, karasu gives me leader vibes? he’s trying to round all the boys up while they’re doing dumb shit and hes standing there like 🧍 mamas i do not get paid enough for this

hiori joins nagi in on gaming. he livestreamed him dying his hair once. it was just him, god, and his truckload of fans in a cramped ass bathroom while he wrapped his head in foil and sat on top of the toilet.

he’s also the one that gets the brightass neon hair each comeback. u know the song’s abt to slap when hiori shows up looking like the froot loops mascot 🗿

chigiri’s sister won’t quit airing out chigiri’s dirty laundry, and it drives him insane. it also drives him crazy when people thirst after his sister. also i think his fancams wld go the most viral just bc he’s very pretty, and i think he’d be fairly reasonable with fanservice

although he does get pretty snappy sometimes, so it’s a delicate balance finding what he’s in the mood for. the hair stylists love dressing him up since he’s one of the less fussy members (thanks to how much his sister used to dress him up when he was younger)

one out of the two visuals of the group (the other being aryu)

aryu practices english with his fans! he’ll attempt interviews, posts, and livestreams entirely in english to learn, and he’ll do his best to correct his mistakes :) everyone’s very supportive of him, even when he’s rambling about his latest hair styling tips in broken english and bits of japanese

also because he’s so fucking tall, he solos everyone whenever those idol sports competitions come around. his long limbs are lethal, and people will thirstpost about him violently. he’s also very fashion-forward, so he collaborates often with the styling team about the group’s concepts and outfits!

ISAGI’S THE MEOWMEOW OF THE GROUP!! he’s trying his hardest and always delivers. he’s also down horrendous for whatever noel noa is as an idol, and he’s practically begging for a collaboration every other tweet. poor boy nearly shits his pants whenever he sees noa at an awards shows or other big events

i’d also love to see him star as an mc on music shows?? he gives off the perfect zealous yet cutesy vibes to pull that off. he’s the perfect level of awkward to be endearing, and he’s always invited back because of how polite and hardworking he is :] he also def has a lot of gap moe between his self as an absolutely fucking feral performer who rips up the stage versus him being Just A Dude offstage

reo was a trainee w nagi! he practices by doing covers of other idols’ works (im trying rlly hard to incorporate his chameleon thing into the idolverse ok), and he’s really touched when trainees do covers of his songs and dances too! it shows him how far he’s come :]

he ties his hair up a lot, so fans beg him constantly to put it down! id like to think nagi once caught him on a livestream fresh out of a shower w nothing but a towel around his waist, and people went fucking NUTS over 1) seeing reo half naked all drenched w water and 2) finally seeing him without his little bun

reo is also a dancer in my heart (i am never wrong btw <3)

omg cld u imagine all the cute names u cld give to barou’s fans? the king and his loyal kingdom :] people also wld kill to see his hair down and ungelled, but he doesn’t like it bc it feels unruly so there’s some beef between his management and him over that

he got wrestled into a maid outfit once, but people loved it so much it became a key moment for the group. he doesnt mind it as much as people thought he would, but definitely wld prefer to dress up in other costumes for once. barou’s also an extremely talented performer, often shining the most when he gets solo performances over group collaborative ones.

niko is literally junji from onlyoneof 🧍he also strikes me as the kind of guy to rock eboy fashion? he absolutely eats up any dark concepts!! he kinda detests cute concepts, but unlike rin (who’ll throw hands w his management), niko kinda learns to grin and bear it

niko also composes his own songs! he’s a very self-made idol, and he’ll treat his fans to a snippet of his latest project every now and then (this is me trying to incorporate his special skills but idol version pt 2)! he’ll lock himself in his room for days on end during off seasons to compose, only coming out to use the bathroom and eat at ungodly hours. other members sometimes drop by to bring him snacks and water

gagamaru’s a lil . unhinged to say the least . he does mukbang streams every once in a while, and it gives his management a stroke when it goes viral because he ate everything using his hands. he’s getting good at using utensils regularly, but hey, if his fans wanna see him stuffing his face in the way that makes him happiest, then who is he to upset them?

gagamaru also solos everything on idol sports shows. whenever he’s on one of those wilderness survival shows, he comes back out looking just the same as he did going in, if not better. he’s also so flexible that it drives every dancer in the industry green with jealous that they can’t control their body like he does. he’s still very sweet and humble though, so no one can really hate him since he’s just a big hunky goofball that does what he wants :]

YUKIMIYA KPOPS GEM YUKIMIYA KPOPS IT BOY YUKIMIYA OUTSOLD YOUR FAVES

ok fr tho yukimiya still keeps up with his modeling on the side (kinda hc to be a model-turned-idol), so he sneaks in a lot of his sponsors’ clothes into his idol outfits! those kpop fashion accounts are always scrambling to identify the clothes he’s wearing

he also has one hell of a gap between performing and being off stage, and he’s so goddamn charismatic that it feels like he’s a completely different person when he’s on stage. like he’ll be all smiley and sweet, and then he’ll go fucking feral just like isagi that it’s hard to believe he’s normally a soft-spoken gentleman whenever the cameras aren’t on him.

ok now that ive talked abt the bllk eleven, extra hcs of idol au bllk that werent part of the main team

aiku gets into so many dating scandals that they dont even feel like a scandal anymore. everyone wakes up and is like “oh this is who he was fucking w this time” and moves on. good for him ig? at least he’s free on that end

sendou gets nervous talking to girl groups. he’s also really generous w fanservice and does gravure photoshoot bc he knows what its like to be a fan of them. good for him good for him!! go feed ur fans!!

sae def placed first on a previous season of bllk produce 101, which got rin inspired to become an idol. imagine the tension at awards shows OOF 💀 or the questions people post abt the brothers potentially collaborating for a comeback. sae also hates fanservice, but he goes out of his way to shut that shit down

kaiser is kpop’s ace!! there is nothing this bitch can’t do! he also refuses to cover up his tattoo and shows it off whenever he gets the chance. talks about wanting to get more in the future, but his management’s successfully keeping him restrained… for now.

ness wld be disturbingly good at cute concepts… it’s crazy how easily he can get people to fall for him with his easygoing charm, but the second people start talking smack abt smth he likes, he turns murderous. it’s always the adorable ones you need to watch out for. sometimes fans admit to liking him more than kaiser which usually throws him for a loop.

speaking of concepts, shidou devours dark concepts too! i feel like he’d make one hell of a vocalist, and he’s constantly hounding sae for a collab together. even his regular clothes are striking enough to be confused for a stage outfit, and he takes a lot of pride in keeping up his demonic aura (even though he lives for the thrill of performing more than anything else)

kunigami gives off such husband material vibes. baby gets invited to shows where he babysits kids, cares for pets, etc and everyone just ends up falling more in love with him. he’s so respectful about turning people down too like goddamn how is this boy real

nanase is 100% the maknae of the group. bonus points if he originally came from a nugu group that rose to a fair amt of popularity, and now he’s starstruck that he gets to interact w idols that he looked up to for so long

ego def used to be an idol before retiring and becoming a manager/head honcho behind blue lock’s produce 101. he hates the artificiality of idols and pushes the boys to become their own version of what they expect an idol to be like. hes also insane in this au too

anri is one of the biggest managers of the produce project! she’s the one behind the scenes, setting everything up! the boys are extremely grateful towards her, and she even has her own dedicated fanbase!

tokimitsu has bad stage fright, and his fans do their best to support him! they encourage him to do what makes him comfortable, and he promises to work hard to not let them down. he has one of (if not, the) strongest bond with his fans, and their interactions are super wholesome.

buratsuta is like jyp. hope this makes sense <3

check out this sick edit of bllk produce btw

[charmed-asylum]

Excuse me for this chapter for how long this shit was had me screaming every curse word I know to man and some. Shit I think I was possessed bc some words wasn’t even in English. But that’s what u do to me got me talking I’m tongue. I just where to start where to start.

I mean where to bloody start in the fresh prince of hell!!

Let’s start w the lovely ALL BY MY SELF MONTAGE Vibe poor girl was dealing with. She literally was going tho this w a LB ish tone to it in my head.

She then goes and do everything she can do get Jensen to listen I mean how much self respect you have not only for the reader but for ur self to think the way you are. AINT YOU A FUCK COMPUTER GENUS TO KNOW WHAT CAN N CANT BE FABRICATED bc even my vintage typing ass can figure two and two together doesn’t equal a donkey ass but oh well I guess I ace COMMON SENSE 101. All while she goin tho it this son of cat bitch wanna taunt her he not worth it nah bitch man at this point ain’t worth it. Shit little picture w a in my mind cut and tape over another face of u works like oh here the worst clip art 📎 I’m talking 98 word clip art shit and he takes it. Look I know I ain’t making sense but this shit got me next level and I’m sure I’m talking to myself but look 👀 this shit too much ( way to good I’m having heart pain just thinking about it) and she goes does a lovely little at the window shit pleads w him and he wanna be a B I T C H like not even a question tho to prove he ain’t a dummy no shack the head and dip well sir ur as dumb as a bunch of rocks and ur parents should be very glade ur waste there money and eggs and sperm on your dumb ass. Sad part he might show up to her getting attack and maybe rape and he gonna cry and be all see u use me nah bitch u don’t see her crying stop and Steve lookin like a cartoon villain. Ahhhh I’m mad lord I am mad.

SHE LITERALLY GOES I DIDNT DO IT TELL U THE TRUTH EVEN AS FAR LIKE I WAS GONNA give myself to u as my first and he slam the widow on her . sorry no nah I know what ur sayin I just need time MO SLAM THE WINDOW W OUT SPEAKIN. And im not gonna lie I gave it a chance like maybe it be like some movie and next part he runs after her but he doesn’t NOT DO THAT SHIT. Excuse me who gave u the right to be that much a little bitch ahhh I can’t lord forgive me for I wanted to slap the sight back into this man.

Then Steve come tho out the shadows. Like a click and paste shit . Like u don’t got no life u been waiting in side line like a damn weirdo I can’t. Where the campus security or what not she having a heated convo runs around a building or some shit. No CAMPUS SECURITY like damn I know they can’t do much but shine a light into Steve eyes blow that whistle til his ears bleed roll him over in ur little golf cart scooter or something. Nah probably sniffing some donuts power up the nose. He waited for her and just wow okay it’s Steve but how many times could someone do this to a girl like I’m horny let me wait and push my way into the dorm. He so sick he literally waited for her to be alone and not alone but alone and broken and it’s a fuckin game of delight like yup merry Christmas to me really really nah don’t bring the birth of Christ into this crazy ass dream u got. She begs him and he laugh shows no remorse she runs ( got that run scene had me on my knees w my rose Mary beads eyes rolled back splashing holy water and talking into tongues) then the end THE END GIRL BLACK OUT AND IT WAS ANOTHER DAY when I came back to it. Like I’m just what did she really do mmm what am I forgetting that happen that is something let’s be realistic u could not see coming oh u like so u me and bed rockin and she was supposed to be like do me now Dr. Steve Rogers hahaah boy u dreaming a crack head dream no u can’t tell me that so what and u do and say that lord ROOOOO PLEASE 🙏 tell me I’m not crazy @darkficsyouneveraskedfor bc this chapter had me crying and screaming

One False Move

Series Masterlist

Warnings: dark elements, some sexiness in this.

Note: this is what yall asked for, remember that.

Please leave me some feedback either in a reblog or an ask! Likes are always appreciated as well. You know I love yall and hell yeah, you love Professor Steve.

Jake ignores every text and every call. When you pull up his Insta, you find yourself blocked. The last revelation crushes you, sending you into a tailspin and your bed. You burrow under the comforter and cry yourself to a restless sleep.

When you wake up, the sun is still down. It's not even four in the morning. You've never felt like this. So hollow and heavy at once. You drag yourself out of bed and make yourself drink a cup of instant coffee that makes your stomach rot.

You sit at the kitchen table in your empty dorm and hold your head. It's all a mistake, just lies. Professor Rogers knew what he was doing and it worked so well. Why didn't Jensen believe you? He knows better, he should've listened.

Your despair turns to anger and frustration. You don't know why you wasted your time. You get up and rinse out your mug before shuffling back to bed. Well, at least you have groceries for the break. You can make what you bought last a while. You're going to have to.

You lay down and try to fall back asleep. You drift in and out but feel worse as the window pales to a dim grey. The winter morning chills you and keeps you nestled under the blankets. It's only the urgent need that draws you out to the bathroom.

You're more away as you return to your room and grab your phone, stomach wobbly with anxious hope. No replies from Jensen, but a message from a private number.

'He's not worth it.'

You know who it is. He can hide his number but you know he's taunting you. What does he want? He's already ruined everything.

You ignore him and put your phone down. You think of putting a video on your laptop but that just makes you miss Jake even more. He should be here waking up with you. Last night should've been the best night of your life.

Maybe...

You get dressed before you let the thought break through clearly. It's desperate and stupid but you're not going to give up. You zip up your coat and shove your feet into your boots, pulling a toque onto your head. You grab your keys and phone and leave your lonely dorm behind.

The pavement is trimmed with frost and in some places, patches of ice crack under your treads. You keep your hands in your pockets as you chatter, walking with purpose along the curving paths. You stop in front of Jensen's building and look up. He's not going to answer your messages and you can't get in on your own, so you'll have to get creative.

You grab a pebble and count the windows. You're pretty sure it's that one. You huck the stone and it pings off the frame. From your side, it sounds pretty loud. You wait, nothing. You do it again. Several times before the window above opens.

Shit, you were close.

Jensen pokes his head out and lets out a huff that clouds in front of him, "go away--"

"Jake, please, just listen. You know I wouldn't... I wouldn't do that. Not with him."

"Pfft, come on, I'm not an idiot."

"Ugh, what did I ever do to make you believe I would--"

"I don't know. Late office meetings, sending me texts about staying late then calling it off, sounds like cold feet to me."

You lean your head back and whine, "he did that, okay? He took my phone--"

"Convenient story."

"Jake!" You holler, "why can't you see I'm telling the truth? I... you were going to be my first."

He just stares, quiet. You feel yourself wilt. He shakes his head and pulls back, disappearing behind the frame and slamming the pane down. There's your answer.

You turn slowly on your heel. Your eyes well and you quickly flick away your tears. Happy Holidays, indeed.

📚

You're in no rush to get back to your dorm, even with cold nipping at your cheeks. You don't care. You have nothing to look forward too. You waited weeks for your break, to spend time with your boyfriend alone, and now you have nothing.

Typical. Just your luck. Even the wafting aromas of the cafe can't tempt you in as you pass. You carry on, keeping your head down outside the English building, and tramp along in a glum fog. Your feet carry you without a thought, the path etched into your mind and muscles. You look up at the familiar brick facade and fish out your keys.

It's frighteningly still and quiet outside. Most of campus is home and happy, but here you are. You pull out the keyring and scan your fob on the censor. The door beeps and you open it, puttering inside reluctantly.

Suddenly you feel the door open wider and you're shoved forward. You trip as someone skirts in behind you and pulls the heavy barrier shut with a clang. You throw your arms out and steady yourself, turning to face the unceremonious intruder.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's got you down?" Steve asks as he stands tall, hooking his thumbs in his pockets.

"What the hell? Get out? What are you doing--"

"Shhhh," he puts his finger to his lips, "listen."

You blink and hush, listening to the empty hall. What? It's quiet. There's... no one there. The epiphany strains your face as he smirks.

"That's right, sweetie, just you and me," he takes a step closer and you back up. "Sounds like a merry Christmas to me."

"No..." you exhale as you retreat along with his advance, "get away--"

"You can't spend the holidays alone," he says with dripping sympathy, "what kind of man-- boy would abandon you like that?"

"Stop," you hold a hand up, "Steve, you're scaring me."

"Well, baby," his cheek dimples, "you've hurt me so I think I get to return that favour."

He lunges and you stumble backwards, hitting the wall and rolling out of his way. You turn and race down the hallway, pumping your arms wildly. You surpass the elevator and yank open the door to the stairwell. You hear him behind you. He's close.

You grab the railing and swing yourself around, kicking over each step frantically as you struggle not to fall on your face. You're dizzy as you turn up the next flight and the next. Your lungs burn as you feel yourself slowing. You hear him, footsteps echoing up towards you.

You burst onto your floor and fumble with your keys desperately. You can't get a steady grip as you search for the key to your door. Finally, you slide it into the slot as the stairwell door clicks. You hurry inside but as you go to shut the door, it stops short of the frame.

You squeak as Steve gives the door a jolt and flings you back easily. You cry out as he enters and blocks you into the narrow hall that adjoins the rooms. You raise an arm, shielding yourself as your knees shake.

"Please, Steve," you beg as he shuts the door behind him.

"Oh, you don't have to say please, sweetie, I'll give you exactly what you need," he grabs your arm and pulls you close, "I told you, the minute you think you're alone, I'll be there."

[pope-neuro]

Give headcanon for merc.

(Sorry I been taking so long to get to these, I’ve been dealing with the sudden death of my baby bird, life has been kinda terrible this week)

NOTE: There will be some suggestive stuff in here but most of it is for comedic purposes

General merc headcanons:

Scout:

-my boi got adhd like you would not believe

-The poor bastard cannot focus on anything for the life of him, no matter how hard he tries

-One of the reasons why he has trouble with reading, he was never really able to focus enough to figure it out, as that’s something that takes a LOT of time and a LOT of focus.

-Really talented artist tho! He loves drawing and keeps a sketchbook or two in his room! He likes to doodle before bed each night, it helps him calm down

-Somehow gay and homophobic at the same time

-Would absolutely lose his shit over the blue lobster meme no matter how old it gets

Soldier:

-My goofy ahh uncle

-The physical embodiment of “he a lil confused, but he got the spirit”

-Bro does not give a FUCK what anyone else thinks and I respect the hell out of that

-The men in his family were all in the military, which is one of the reasons why he’s obsessed

-secretly very insecure that he never actually made it into the official military

-Puts up a front so he can avoid feeling like a disappointment sometimes

-Solly is one of those people that sleeps like a LOG. Literally nothing can wake him up other than his own internal clock, which conveniently goes off at 6am.

-It is at this point in the morning when he goes around the base and attempts to make everyone else get up. Most are not pleased.

-Bi as fuck. He kisses men. He kisses women. He literally does not care, a beautiful person is a beautiful person, son.

-He calls his partner “son”.

Pyro:

-He is my son

-I love my son so much I am so proud of him for just existing.

-Pyro’s name is Ernesto

-His mask is literally just his face, like the plague doctor SCP. What appears to be clothing is actually just his body.

-He is from another planet, and the oxygen in our atmosphere has hallucinatory effects on members of his species

-Poor baby is basically in a haze 100 percent of the time :( but he does his absolute best!

-He literally only wants to spread peace, love, and flower power

-Fire makes him feel nice, because it’s bright and it’s warm. Fire is friendly and comforting. It helps ground him in this strange world.

Demo:

-Under-appreciated as fuck holy shit

-Probably one of the most hardworking people on the team, if not THE most

-This guy is doing multiple jobs at once in addition to his demanding work as a mercenary.

-He’s actually super smart! He may not act like it when he’s super drunk, but he seriously does know what he’s doing

-Chemistry EXPERT. Can he please help me with my chem 101 homework I literally could never. I know he’s smart because chemistry is fucking impossible and he loves the subject

-sometimes works with Engie to develop new types of bombs!

-My theory is that he turned to alcohol in order to cope with the chronic burnout he must be facing by working so many jobs at once. Just helps him check out of life for a while, but unfortunately that comes at the cost of his liver.

-Fr tho how the fuck is he even alive, he drinks HYDROGEN PEROXIDE at one point, which isn’t even related to alcohol at all, it’s literally just a poisonous chemical💀

-I have reason to believe he now has epilepsy as a result of medic damaging his hippocampus while scooping his brain, I made a post about this a while ago if you’re interested in more details

-He is very much in need of a hug

-I love him so much

-You’re doin good lad

Heavy:

-One of the smartest people on the team, despite what you might perceive at first glance.

-The only reason he may sound “dumb” to some people is because English is his second language, and he has a very hard time speaking it.

-Fr tho English sucks, I have no idea how people learn it later in life on their own

-In the Russian dub of meet the heavy, he speaks a lot more eloquently. Definitely strikes me as the type of person to have a PhD in Russian literature.

-His dream was to one day become an author, but mercenary work got in the way because it was the best way to provide for his family overseas.

-He still writes from time to time in a small notebook he keeps by his bed, in the hopes that one day he’ll publish something

-He will

-Gay AF

-The literal definition of a Bear

-His guns are his babies, he literally loves them like they’re his children.

-Honestly I feel that way about my PC so I get it😭

Engie:

-Also a very underrated character

-Ties with medic for Smartest On The Team

-Engie just puts his genius towards more practical (and less unhinged) use

-I mean clearly he’s not TOTALLY stable, he did cut off his own arm to attach the gunslinger

-Always felt the need to prove himself growing up. Because of where he’s from, people tended to assume he was kinda stupid based on stereotypes. He obviously ended up proving everyone wrong.

-Is autistic and has OCD. He needs to do things a certain way or he can get extremely upset, especially in his workshop. It’s his safe space that is not to be invaded unless he is expecting you.

-Acts like a father figure to pyro. Basically the only one who isn’t unsettled by him (other than maybe medic)

-He definitely takes pyro fishing on the weekends

-Very talented singer, but he’ll absolutely deny it if you tell him. He’s super humble about everything

-But nah everyone else always loves to listen to him sing and play the guitar when they’re all hanging out at the fire pit.

-He’s such a dad I love him

Medic:

-Medic is my wife

-Smartest member of the team along with Engie

-Actually very strong! He lifted soldier up by the collar in expiration date, and he’s gotta weigh at LEAST 250.

-Also carries around heavy equipment all day, and is STILL the second fastest runner on the team, only behind scout.

-Medic is actually a pretty big dude. It’s just hard to notice when he’s standing next to heavy who is an actual giant. I think medic is canonically like 6’1 or something. Big dude. Wide shoulder. Booba. 👍

-Of course he looks small when he’s near heavy, EVERYONE looks small standing next to heavy

-Bi medic Bi medic Bi medic Bi medic

-Contrary to popular belief, he DOES indeed have the title of “Doctor”. In order to get a medical license in the first place, you are required to complete med school and obtain an MD or DO degree. Licensure and degrees are two separate things. You can lose a license, but you can’t be stripped of the education you already learned. The title of “Doctor” comes with a degree, not a license, as we have seen with engineer and Heavy’s PhD’s.

-He’s autistic with a special interest in medicine! If he’s not actively in battle, his in his lab working on shit. He LOVES it. It’s basically the only subject he cares about (source: am autistic w/ medical special interest. Am I projecting? Maybe but oh well)

-He very clearly knows what he’s doing, even though his methods are kinda fucked💀

-He’s succeeded in literally raising the dead multiple times in addition to inventing all of his healing devices completely his own.

-Hangs out with Engie when he’s not working on stuff, they both enjoy building/inventing devices and they enjoy talking about their shared special interests. He is closest with Engie and heavy out of everyone on the team.

-The only one that knows pyro is an SCP

-He’s a hoe. A massive hoe

-we are married

Sniper:

-Emotions are scary and Should Not Exist

-Also autistic! The man has literally no idea how to speak to other humans, and talks to himself constantly (am autistic, can confirm)

-MASSIVE introvert, has to retreat to his van a couple times a day to recharge

-He likes to draw birds he sees while on the job!

-Likes plain black coffee which I will never understand it’s so fucking bitter literally wh

-Doesn’t like people to know he’s somehow only 27 years old despite looking like he could be my dad when in reality he’s only like 7.5 years older than me

-He could be my brother but he looks like he could be my dad wtf

-One of those lucky bastards who doesn’t burn in the sun easily, he’s outside constantly

-His ideal place to be would be outdoors on a nice sunny day. A wide open area with no one else around.

-Puts his hat over his face when he sleeps because of course he does

-He Is Not Straight

Spy:

-Pan, poly

-Canonically enjoys his romances “in groups of six”

-Spy hosts orgies guys, valve’s words not mine

-Sigma chad, has fucked your mom and will do it again

-Is not aware that he smells terrible from smoking all the time

-God knows how many children he’s left behind because he’s afraid of staying in any type of committed relationship

-Very similar to sniper in that emotions are Scary

-Speaks every language known to mann

-He absolutely has a sex dungeon. In this video he literally has plans to “remodel his dungeon”:

https://youtu.be/IIoBW__Y8DY

-WHAT OTHER KIND OF DUNGEON WOULD HE HAVE

-ITS A SEX DUNGEON

-HE’S HAD IT LONG ENOUGH THAT IT NEEDS REMODELING

-Probably has the best social skills out of anyone else on the team

-Possibly a sociopath? Or just very good at hiding his intentions and motivations

-Spy is awesome but also I love making fun of him

-Haha skinny legg mann

Im so sorry poor anon asked this like a month ago😭😭 but I wanted to be really thorough with my headcanons!! I hope you like em and feel free to ask me more shit :))

[bottomdeanbigbang]

Coming Soon!

Title: Interesting Revelations

Author: redamber79

Artist: lamiasageart

Pairings: Dean/Cas, mentioned Charlie/Gilda, mentioned Sam/Eileen

Rated: Explicit

Length: 21456

Tags: minor injury, mention of past child abuse, anal sex, misunderstandings, mild drug use, idiots in love, mutual pining, first time, love confessions, college AU

Warnings: N/A

Summary:

"It's Dean's third year of college and he's having to adjust to a new roommate when his friend Ash transfers to MIT. The new guy, Castiel, is studying American History and Religious Studies, and Dean is certain the guy must be straight as an arrow. Too bad, 'cause he's kinda cute. But Dean grew up with more lectures about fire and brimstone than anyone wanted to hear thanks to his dad, so he doesn't mention to Castiel that he's bi. Not like it matters, Castiel is heartbroken over the death of Anna, his high school sweetheart. So Dean is determined to just be a good friend.

But...

What if Dean is mistaken, about so very many things?

It takes a fistfight with an interloper to clear the air between them, but then there's no stopping their feelings for each other."

Excerpt under the cut...

"Dean and Castiel mostly ignored each other the first month or so they were rooming together. Then, one day, Castiel came home muttering and tossed his Religious Studies text onto the coffee table before dropping onto the couch next to Dean. Dean glanced at the clock and frowned, continuing to type. He had an English paper due in a few days and needed to wrap it up.

""Don't you have class?"" he asked curiously, tilting his head at his roommate. Castiel was running his fingers through his already wild hair, and his eyes were stormy. From this close, Dean could see their colour clearly, a brilliant, breathtaking blue that rivalled the fall sky outside their apartment window. Get a grip, Winchester. No writing poetry about the straight guy's eyes!

""I dropped it. That… That assbutt Adler is the worst Prof I've ever had, and first year I had Roman for Business 101!"" Dean blinked. That had to be the first time he'd heard Castiel swear, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. Assbutt? He shook his head a little and focused on the topic at hand.

""Don't you need that one to minor? Adler can't be that bad…"" Dean let his comment trail off as Castiel raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a withering look. Dean squirmed a little under that stare.

""I'm reporting him to the Dean. Yes, he’s that bad. He's not teaching Religious Studies, he's proselytising from his pulpit, and that damn textbook is one he wrote! I am not wasting my time. I'm just pissed I can't get my money back from the bookstore for this piece of inarticulate, brain-washed drivel. He's the worst sort of Bible-is-fact, In God We Trust Republican dickwad that I hated back home! I moved here to escape that shit, not smear it around.""

""Says the guy named after an angel…"" Dean teased a little, earning him an eye roll. Castiel dug into his backpack and hauled out a small bag of gummies, the label unmistakably identifying them as pot, then he looked at Dean warily.

""You're not gonna rat me out, right?"" he asked, and Dean stared in disbelief as his nerdy, innocent, apparently not-so-religious roommate popped an edible into his mouth. ""You want one?""

Dean closed his mouth, blinked, and then shook his head. ""Not today, got auto in a couple hours, need to be clear-headed. And you know who I rented with before, he recommended you. You think anyone Ash hung out with and rented with for two years would have a problem with edibles?""

Castiel snorted a laugh, his nose crinkling up adorably, and Dean looked away. Not being a religious whack-job and partaking in a bit of recreational pot were all well and good. Still. Not everyone was cool with a bisexual roommate.

""Fair 'nough. Wish I could get some money back for this damn book, though I'd really rather burn it than put it back into circulation."""

[greatrunner]

Finished watching Shudder’s 101 Scariest Horror Movie Moments (of All Time), and it was pretty good, just for the commentary.

And it’s such an interesting list compared to Bravo’s 100 Scariest Movie Moments (of All Time), especially when you compare both lists number #2 and #1 films and their overall tone.

Bravo was definitely aiming for (crass) humor and banter with the unrelated talking heads (of the dude-bro type). The only insight you got was from the directors and actors who took the time to be interviewed about their role in whatever film they starred in. And when you consider a lot of the directors or actors in this special are now dead, that was a very rare opportunity (so to speak).

Shudder definitely decided to remain (primarily) within the production or cultural wheelhouse of horror with historians, producers, directors, magazine editors or reporters, and very rarely, actors.

And then there’s the fact that they included a lot of foreign language horror films, most of which (barring, REC, I Saw the Devil, Pulse, Ringu, Train to Busan, Tigers Are Not Afraid, Let The Right One In) I haven’t heard of or seen (and were primarily Spanish language). Something that I don’t think was really in-vogue in the 2000s if it wasn’t an Italian film dubbed over in English.

And then there’s the context of a special that’s almost 20-something years old now versus a streaming special in the 2020s. Bravo generalizes, steps outside horror (Fatal Attraction), and pulls from the most present of films of its time (Signs or The Ring remake is one example).

And Shudder has benefit of films that are now 20, 30, 40 years old and retrospect with a greater emphasis on varied horror films.

All of this to say, that it says something when Ridley Scott and Steven Spielberg were considered directors of the scariest movie moments of all time in the 2000s at number #2 (Alien) and #1 (Jaws), and John Carpenter’s The Thing was at #48 somewhere on Bravo’s list, and Tobe Hooper’s (The) Texas Chainsaw Massacre landed on #5.

Fast forward to 2022, Carpenter’s Thing and Hooper’s Massacre are now #2 and #1 respectively, while Jaws and Alien land somewhere at #11 and #14.

I don’t put a particular stock on numerical rankings for films. I like what I like, but it does serve as a gauge in terms of cultural zeitgeists or opinions within the “horror community”.

I kept wondering where The Thing was, maybe thought I forgot I saw it (and, mind you I watched the Bravo list a couple days before jumping onto Shudder, so memories were overlapping). So to see it pop up at number #2 and Massacre land on #1? That’s a real holy shit moment for me, especially since both directors were considered low-brow, non-prestige creatives for a long ass time.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Horse info 101

A horse girl’s guide to the basics for fic writing with an important and lively horse involved:

This got kinda long I’m kinda sorry but not at all lol 

There's three basic gaits (speeds with different patterns of hoof-fall/leg movements

Walking is the slowest and is a four beat gait, meaning each foot hits the ground at a different time. Usually the same pace as a walking human when the horse is calm. Some breeds can walk HELLA fast though. Most horses will fill the same spot/hole where their front hoof was with their back hoof on the same side. If they overstep they clip their fetlock (joint lookin bit above the hoof) or pastern (bit between the hoof and fetlock) and can injure themselves. 

Now trotting. The middle gait, a person can jog next to a trot at a comfortable pace but if you push them a little horses can trot faster than your average HS track endurance athlete. Once again some breeds can trot HELLA fast. This is a two beat gait in that two diagonally opposite legs are moving in unison. In some english saddles (I’ll get into that later if we have class time) it’s easier to post while the horse is trotting rather than sit for the gait. That just means you stand up in the irons (stirrups on an english saddle, we’ll also cover that later) at the same time that one of the front legs moves forward. 

Also, see how the trotting horse’s head looks? That’s how they travel when they’re relaxed and attentive. The tucked head thing you see Roach doing is because there’s tension on the reigns and Henry learned to ride for an english seat not a western pleasure seat (might get into those but they’re really not important)

Time for the Canter/Lope. This is a three beat gait so that means two legs are moving in unison and the other two are not. Horses canter/lope fast. This is the go-time gait. Some performance/dressage horses are trained to canter extremely slow but if we’re talking transportation trained horses they’re not gonna be that kind of slow. Your average human is not gonna be able to keep up with this for long if at all. This varies in speed too. There's a rather casual canter seen in the gif directly below, then below that is the balls to the wall canter/lope that most horse people just refer to as a run. That’s as fast as they can go.

Basic tack names

Halter + Lead/Lead Rope - these can be made of rope, leather, nylon (more modern) but the halter is generally used for leading and tying.

Bridle - this is the one that you use while you ride, it holds the bit in their mouth. There’s millions of different types of bridles but they’re usually made out of leather even now. sometimes you get rope/nylon ones but I don’t trust them.

Reins - connect to the bit and you use them to steer and control speed. Horses trained in western or one handed riding will ‘neck rein’ which means if you move your hand to the right and the left rein brushes their neck they will move to the right.

Bit - the metal piece in the horses mouth. most english riding bits are broken (joint in the middle) and most western ones are solid. there’s a gap behind the horse’s front teeth and that’s where the metal sits. Some horses have smaller mouths than others and do better with solid bits because the ‘broken’ ones will hit the top of their mouth and hurt. There’s also things called ‘shanks’ on some bits which are just longer pieces of metal that attach to the sides of the pieces in their mouth and point downward. This gives the rider more leverage and makes any tug on the reins stronger. (google “Horse bit shank” if this doesn’t make sense)

Saddle - you sit in it. simple right? wrong. There’s two main types of saddles, Western - with the horn like you see in the running gif, and English- the loping gif without the horn. The saddles used in the Witcher look like the pre-english saddle versions but the basic parts you need to know are the same. The part where you ass goes? that’s the seat. the part right in front of your crotch? That’s the pomel. that’s your ‘oh shit handle’ if anything goes screwy (other than the mane). The part that sticks up and keeps your ass in place? That’s the cantle. I like western saddles SO MUCH MORE but i also grew up mainly riding western so im biased. 

Stirrups/Irons - stirrups and irons are where your feet go. In western saddles they’re called stirrups and they’ve got wider decorative leather flaps (called fenders, also originally added to protect trousers/legs from the horse sweat and the buckles of the cinch) and on english saddles they’re called irons because they are usually made of iron and rather slim. Geralt’s irons look pretty similar to modern ones, slim leather straps, minimal iron (or steel or any other strong metal really). Traditional english riders have knee high boots like you see in regency costumes which removes the need for the fenders like on western saddles. 

Cinch/girth - this is what keeps the saddles on. You take a strap and attach it to one side of the saddle, run it under the belly right behind their front legs and attach it to the other side. Its usually made of a strong fabric with wool or some kind of softer lining for western riding. English riding uses a leather one most of the time though this horse girl hates them because they’re harder to cinch up. English saddles use buckles while Western saddles use another leather strap to run through the chinch/girth buckle and you either tie it off or use it like a belt. 

Chest strap - this keeps the saddle from sliding backwards. It’s attached to both sides of the saddle by buckles and between the front legs its attached to the cinch/girth. this is pretty universal but not always used. Geralt uses one though. 

Saddle pad - goes under the saddle to protect the baby’s back and whithers (spot where the neck meets the back and the mane ends)

Tacking up and untacking takes time. This is usually 5-10 minutes when done at a leisure pace and done right.

Basic grooming

Brush down before tacking up - you don’t want stuff chaffing the pony while you ride

brush after untacking- helps clear skin of irritants and feels nice

Shedding scraper/curry comb to get rid of shedding hair - if you want a pic of these just google them I think I’m close to the pic limit for my post. 

HOOF PICK - keep the baby's feet clean and clear if rocks so they don't bruise but also so nothing get infected

Yes, plz brush their mane it gets MATTED - a hairbrush works but a wide tooth comb is best

Horses roll to itch their backs and clean off, sounds counterintuitive with the dirt but it works

Shaving a little spot for the bridle to sit is pretty modern but it's easier for everyone involved

Horse Colors- guys roach is not brown she’s a chestnut color

The only thing I have to add to this is that the “Leopard” one is called “appaloosa” in the US at least, and “Pinto” is also reffered to as “Paint” and there’s all sorts of different patterns that you can see. also i want a buckskin so bad. yes i was obsessed with Spirit as a child why do you ask?

Travel care of your babies

Horses CAN and have subsisted off roadside grasses and grazing at night BUT it's good for them to get a lil something extra ESPECIALLY if you’re keeping them in a stall at night where they can’t graze.

Hay and grains like cracked wheat, oats, barley and the like are commonly found in horse feed. Also a lil drizzle of molasses is chock full of calories and all my horses LOVE the taste.

also while we’re talking food: some horses cant keep all the juice/bits in their mouth when they eat apples (we fondly call it making applesauce) or other treats/veg. Yes it gets all over your hand, yeah its kinda gross, but there’s worse things.

Shoes. Babe's need horse shoes. Especially if they're walking over rocks and roads.

Throwing a shoe (when it comes off on accident) is painful sometimes and if left un-dealt with can affect their joints and spine. Imagine walking around in one heeled shoe and one athletic shoe all day. Ow.

On that note though, on lighter travel seasons it's nice to give their hooves a break from shoes (also cheaper)

Horse moods:

horse mood ear chart here: I cant add much tbh

If a horse is comfortable/happy/relaxed they will ‘chew’ on nothing. Just kina a little lip smack type deal. My horse’s bottom lip would hang a couple centimeters below his top one when he was relaxed and I would put my chapstick in it while I fussed with other things.

When a horse is uncomfrotable/scared/tense their lips get sealed tight. I call it ‘fish butt lips’ bc they’re watertight and NOTHING is getting in there. 

Stamping hooves can be a few things. Antsy and ready to roll, nervous, deadass scared, or playful/excited. 

A full whinny is communication - saying hi, warning, scared, etc.

the really soft whinny is called a nicker and its my favorite sound okay? that’s little soft communication and its usually reserved for times when they’re comfortable.

When they’re really relaxed they’ll cock one of their back legs kinda how we shift our weight to one hip. 

general fun facts:

Some horses fake limp when they don’t want to work bc they are lazy and smart and realize their person will get off and check them out and maybe even give them a rest. 

You do a preliminary leg injury test by running your hands slowly over their legs and checking for hot spots - inflammation caused by injury is warm

Basic horse saftey is never stand directly in front of the horse if theres a possibility of spooking, if you’re gonna walk behind them walk out of reach of their hooves or right up against that ass. If they cant get a good wind up it wont do as much damage (on that note though I rode/trained horses for 18 years and was only kicked once by a foal). 

It’s kinda common sense not to walk/sidestep between your horses legs and under their belly but we do it all the time bc its a trust thing? adrenaline? its fun?

laying on your horse’s back sans saddle, and facing their butt is so nice okay, that ass is soft and cushy and perfect for a nap. I miss laying on my horses while they ate like this every damn day. 

Horses can sense your moods. Not unlike the whole ‘witchers smelling you’ thing. They can feel a difference in the tension on the reins and in your posture when you’re tense or relaxed.

Some horses will take care of their riders, some are absolute shits and push the limits for funsies. Some horses will only behave for people they’re used to too. Some horses have trauma from being mistreated and will have triggers kinda like people do. We had a horse who would freak the fuck out if anyone walked around with a red had but as soon as you took it off she was the most level headed horse we had.

A good portion of horses (Who aren’t scared of children) will behave better with kiddos or novice riders because they feel they’re nervous.

If they hurt while they’re moving they usually limp but sometimes they’ll buck. It’s their defense mechanism. 

Horses can’t sleep for too long laying down because their body weight will collapse their lungs. Most horses sleep standing up.

They can sit like a dog and it’s hella cute. 

Stung by bees? Most horses will take off at a dead sprint bucking and hopping unless you’ve done a lot of trust work/training with them

They also run and jump and buck and rear to play.

If theres two horses in a pasture together one will chew at the other’s whithers (or anywhere else) to ask them to scratch them the same way. its very cute and they sometimes try this with people.

horses hug. I cry. 

the whole deal with the rider/horse relationship is it’s a mutual trust you’re building. They let you sit on their back and do weird shit and you trust them not to throw you.  

Thank you for coming to class today! If there’s any questions feel free to message me! I’m not kidding I wanna answer your questions and I miss my horses so this is fun for me.

@elliestormfound​ here it is boo! lol 

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

Artificial Intellegence

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/odPaef4 by siren_of_the_ocean "Ritsu!" Tim greets this Visage like an old friend. Bruce isn't sure how to feel about that. Because this isn't a person Bruce recognises as one of Tim's friends. Not an old classmate. Nothing. And Bruce knows all of Tim's friends. Words: 676, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 101 of Tim Drake AU's Fandoms: Assassination Classroom, Red Robin (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: Gen Characters: Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Batfamily Members, Ritsu (Assassination Classroom) Relationships: Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Class 3-E (Assassination Classroom) & Tim Drake, Tim drake & Ritsu (Assassination classroom) Additional Tags: Crack, Crack Crossover, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim Drake is a Menace, Tim Drake is a secretive little shit read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/odPaef4

[trashiewrites]

Moder Warfare Headcanons

"Family dynamics within the 141"

Price-

+ main dad now kinda grandpa.

+rough and tough love

+will roast you and hope you dont take it to heart.

+very intimidating and scary

Soap-

+second dad, and the kinder one.

+encouragement 101

+only yells when he needs to.

+not scary compared to price

Ghost-

+definition of "holding it in"

+you dont see it but hes scared AF

+surprisingly protective

+definitely the mean big brother type.

Roach-

+hes the baby

+he is the soft boi but not sensitive

+probably didnt start cursing until he went into the military.

+free hugs. Anytime. Anywhere. Except during gunfights.

Alex-

+jokester

+"probably better in english"

+can and will make you smile when you need one.

+hes the counselor teddy bear and he enjoys that

+"blow off some steam? Let's blow some shit up!"

Gaz(2019)-

+ acts like the middle child

+ price's gremlin child

+ "fuck the rules of engagement"

+ never talks back to dad (price)

+ most likely to do stupid shit due to being wasted.

+ dont look like it but hes chugging whiskey.

[homoose]

omg your teacher!spencer HC got me thinking and imagine a school AU where all the characters are different teachers

hotch is the principal

spencer could be a high school chemistry teacher or an elementary teacher (honestly he could teach anything he wants lol)

jj is an elementary teacher

derek is a coach

emily is a languages teacher

and so on...

OOOH YAH (teacher!spencer hc here) were gonna say this is like a K-12 school just because...

Hotch: total principal, are you kidding? no other character has ever principaled quite as hard; comes off very boring and stern, but has a huge soft spot for the trouble makers and is lowkey an amazing mentor; runs one of those young gentlemen’s groups where he teaches them how to tie their ties and shit; coaches the debate team; travels to all the classrooms throughout the year as a guest reader and is surprisingly great at story voices

Gideon: chaotic AP that actually doesn’t really help at all— half the time Hotch isn’t even sure where he is; usually letting kids get away with shit because he thought it was pretty clever; helps with the senior prank

Rossi: replaces Gideon as AP when he retires and doesn’t do much better; always in his office; when kids get in trouble they have to come to him first— only the most severe offenses go to Hotch— so he deals with a lot of kids who get caught with like cigs or other contraband and always “confiscates” it; the kids love him bc he’s hilarious and also bc he knows a lot of pop culture that they’re into

Derek: could go either way for me— either he’s the gym teacher who takes it a little too seriously, OR he’s the English teacher who uses Nas and Tupac in his poetry unit; either way, definitely coaches after school; he’s a favorite among the kids for sure— he jokes around constantly, has a secret handshake for every kid; talks to them on their level, and always lets them play games at the end of the day (around the world, heads up seven up, etc)

Spencer: already talked about this in my hc but he’s just the best teacher; not afraid to be a total weirdo/goofball; very conscious and supportive of different learning styles and preferences; has the most ambient classroom; his students are always the smartest in the whole damn building because he reads up on every single teaching strategy and knows how to utilize them to best support his kids

JJ: elementary teacher for sure; she’s a Pinterest/IG teacher thru and thru— like her classroom is aesthetically perfect (organized, labeled, color-coded) and she probably has an essential oil diffuser or something; she definitely plays with the kids at recess— either kicking the soccer ball around, playing tag, jumping rope, or just laying in the grass and chatting in the sunshine

Penelope: she replaces the stuffy old tech teacher who spent 5 weeks forcing everyone to learn intermediate excel; at first the kids are like 👀 because Penny G is bright— but on the first day she has them all design their own websites and everyone immediately loves her; teaches them to code; runs an after school “tech club” which is literally just hacking skills 101

Emily: absolutely the languages teacher; also, a hot mess; the complete opposite of JJ— her classroom is literally just the furniture that was provided by the school and like three posters that JJ forced her to hang up bc “jesus Em it looks like a prison in here.” the kids don’t really care— they love her bc she just gets them and she’s always got snacks; also regales them with stories and pictures from all of her travel and years abroad; definitely organizes and chaperones various Europe trips and exchange student programs

Tara: the teacher that does not give a single fuck about what anyone thinks about her style abd methods; teaches some type of social science, maybe sociology; loves her kids and knows they can handle tough/weighty conversations; facilitates many debates and mostly manages to stay neutral; kids hang out in her classroom after school; definitely teaches older kids; very sarcastic with them and they love it

Luke: socially a himbo, academically a nerd; teaches chemistry and makes it super accessible and easy to grasp; always eating in the lab even though it’s against his own rules; his favorite day of the year is the ice cream in a bag day; brings Roxy to work with him occasionally and the kids are obsessed

Matt: definitely teaches some type of history or social studies; always has coffee (he has five kids of his own, he’s exhausted); he’s really into the presidents for some reason and knows like all kinds of random facts about them (like the Taft bathtub fiasco and that Zachary Taylor shat himself to death); coaches cross country or swimming and won’t shut up about it

Stephen: the guidance counselor; literally just the nicest human on the planet; will let you sit in his office and cry any time; writes extremely heartfelt recommendation letters for college apps; has a candy drawer and a collection of stress balls

Blake: definitely everyone’s teacher mom; genuinely loves and cares for every student and they keep in touch with her after they graduate; also teaches English and she and Derek are BFF; they run a literary magazine club after school and do a slam poetry night in the cafeteria; gets a lot of “you changed the course of my life” letters

Kate: the cool teacher; she’s an adult, but she’s still in the know about everything the kids like; has a fun teacher Tik Tok account; uses her clout with the kids to influence their decision making aka gets all the gossip so that she can surreptitiously counsel and educate her kids about being safe and advocating for themselves— in online/social media spaces and beyond

[teamgermany]

DTM 101

Hello ladys and gentleman, lads and guys, ppl and cute pets, I am back with a post which I came up at 4 am last night and am currently writing during my introductional history class so buckle up and enjoy the mess.

@allthewayabt​ did a similiar post and I was inspired by it and felt like there was more to unwrap and also who tf does actually listen to their zoom classes, can’t relate lmao

- DTM (Deutsche Tourenwagen Masters, don’t ask me who came up with that Denglish af name pls) is currently trying to save their asses somehow because they went from 3 brands (audi, mercedes and bmw) to basically 1 (bmw) and some private sponsored teams (i think that’s also how Robert Kubica got his DTM seat but don’t take my word on this)  - there’s two practice sessions on Friday and two qualifyings - one on Saturday for the Saturday race and one on Sunday for the Sunday race (however, there is no practice session between the two races)  - some basic rules:    no team radio (it’s been a rule for a few years, before we got stuff like “Timo, schieb ihn raus!” which was and still is iconic & painful shit imo)    during the pit stop the team can talk to the driver & updates them on everything that is going on    also the team radio is allowed to be used in dangerous situations (such as if a car has to retire quickly before it becomes dangerous)    otherwise the driver can do some talks with himself on the radio because the team cannot answer him    1 mandatory pit stop     HOWEVER pit stops under the safety car do not count, so that spices things up if the safety car comes on track while there a drivers pitting    the pit crew is very small (5 ppl or smth) so the pit stops are slower   tyres are cold when they are put onto the car so the timing is very much deciding - if there are cars with warm tyres behind, the likeliness of getting eaten up is very very high     the wet tyres are warmed up I think but again, don’t take my word on this for granted hfifbiuebur  - famous drivers are our lord and legend Bernd Mayländer, Timo Glock, Ralf Schumacher, Pascal Wehrlein (the youngest DTM champ ever before going to F1 <3), Timo Scheider, Matthias Ekström, Rene Rast (duh), Gary Paffett, Paul di Resta, Tom Kristensen, Nico Müller and so on and so on  - Keke Rosberg (yes, Nico R’s dad) owns a team backed by Audi and they are the current team & drivers champions with Rene Rast and Jamie Green (not sure how it’s going to be this season with Audi having left)  - DTM drives on the legendary Norisring in the middle of Nürnburg (it is really dope ngl) - there’s a youtube chancel that uploads races in German as well as in English so no worries if the races are in the middle of the night or you can’t watch it for some other reasons  - as mentioned above, Pascal Wehrlein used to drive for Mercedes in DTM before driving in F1 and won the championship on the last weekend and there was some drama going on which included Timo Scheider (I think?) being told to push Pascal out (which he did, I can only recommend watching the video because well ... I use it quite a lot lmao) - in case anyone remembers the pic of Seb and Fabian in his Audio TT Cup suit - that was taken at one of the DTM races, the Audi TT Cup has been replaced by the DTM Trophy, the European F3 and W-Series used to drive as support series as well  - this crash from Rene at the Lausitzring is worth seeing because the fact that he walked away from that unharmed is ... wow (pretty sure if you type in dtm lausitzring 18 rene rast you’ll find the video)  That’s what my monkey brain can think of so far, if y’all have any questions/ideas what else needs to be covered let me now (it’s not like I’m taking the zoom university serious anyway) !