#like thats why gerry exists in the story to be a shameless foil to dale whomst is full of shame

[akajustmerry]

its sunday night so i am thinking about dale jennings!!! i saw a post this week talking about dale jennings of the newsreader fame's biggest issue being that he lacks conviction and its made him into a people pleaser and i agree with that! the op is right he does lack conviction, which is a fundamental element of who he is and why he has become who he is, and why he and helen ultimately Struggle™️. HOWEVER. i don't think his eager unsure responses to situations (ie. being unsure about marriage until gerry brings it up, following helen's lead, etc) come from a desire to PLEASE people. otherwise he couldn't have betrayed gerry or iced out helen the way he did. no, dale jennings is Like That because he has a debilitating disbelief in himself and is afraid of his feelings of bone-deep inadequacy being discovered. his line, "i don't have a sort of place" isn't just about his sexuality. its about EVERY aspect of his life. its the thesis of his whole character. he genuinely feels no matter how far he gets in his career, relationships, whatever the fuck that he should not be there, and any minute someone will catch him out. so he jumps the gun to not get caught. it already happened to him when he was caught with that other gay kid as a teenager and dale let everyone blame the other kid while still internalising all that homophobia from the adults around him and he's full of shame about it. and so much of what happens with dale in the newsreader is cycle of him almost getting caught and wiggling his way out before he can be caught and then internalising the shame of that until he's just a black hole of insecurity keeping everything at arms length so he never has to worry about being "caught"again. and all it cost was his heart and soul. anyways, i am having a very normal one tonight.