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a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire · 9 months ago

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What is UP moonlight and ire nation, Im being tormented by intrusive thoughts rn, so I have decided to read a chapter of A Court of Mist and Fury and hope they stop when Im done with this. Last time on the Flames and Darkness Liveblog we had Lucien finally finding Feyre and Feyre being needlessly cruel to him until he left again. also, Feyre used her Tamlin-powers to shapeshift herself a pair of wings and I think that was pretty much it, I feel like not a lot happens in these chapters tbh. And yet I always have so much to say to say about them... Whatever, lets get into this

Chapter 48

Is Feyre smelling the other people at this inn having sex? what kinda smells and noises is she talking about

Theyre in a village that consists of just the inn theyre staying at, a tailor, a grocery store and a brothel? I mean presumably theres actual houses there too but that doest seem right. Also, if its as in-the-middle-of-nowhere as Feyre claims, where the hell are they getting groceries and what kind of groceries are they selling

of course theres only ONE BED and its soooooo small oh noooo do you guys think theyre gonna have sex or what

Oh and of course Feyre cant demand that Rhysand sleep on the floor because its too small to even do that theyre gonna have the wildest sex, and by wildest sex I mean theyre both gonna squeeze each other into the bed under the comically small ceiling of this broomcloset of a room and lay on top of each other without moving like a sandwhch made out of just faemeat

I feel like a cape thats cut to fit around these bigass illyrian wings would lose a lot of its functionality tbh, unless it was like, a wrapping for the wings to protect them from the cold, but I dont think thats the case with Rhysand's cape, i think it either just has holes or is some kind of weird shape, but I feel like if your in these harsh winter winds, having a cape fluttering around your wings would be pretty distracting considering how sensitive supposedly they are

WAIT. do we count this cape as a new Rhys-outfit or do we not. Im on the fence because on one hand, he's just wearing it with his usual illyrian leathers and its really just an accessoire, like I wouldnt count what he wore in the CoN as a new outfit just because he wore a crown with his black tunic, but on the other hand, I feel like a cape can really drastically alter the look of an outfit in a way most other acessoires cant. let me know what you think

of COURSE feyre would call the hypothetical painting she would make of Rhysand 'Death on Fast Wings' im gonna commit a crime

'"I love it when you look at me like that. [...] Like there's no reason to run away from my power. Like you're looking at me."' Does this imply that Rhysand identifies with the descriptor 'death on fast wings' because idk that seems weird. then again, he is a weirdo

Rhysand's pronouns are death/incarnate <- thought that popped into my head while I was writing the previous bullet point

By far the worst part about this book are all the sections where Feyre will just suck Rhysand off for a paragraph, she would not fucking say that

'"No, [you weren't afraid of me]. You were nervous, but you weren't afraid. I've felt pure fear often enough that I know the difference. Maybe that's why I couldn't leave you alone."' god, rhysand is such a creepy little freak. and not the good kind either

Feyre is being all like "oh, sure, the bed isnt small but we couldnt possibly both sleep in it without completely getting into each other's personal space, especially with his wings" girl??? tell him to put those thangs away???

god this paragraph is so annoying 'Fae-men were possessive, dominant and arrogant but the men of the Spring Court had a certain disregard [for my wishes] laying beneath the the surface' my brother in christ you have been in two and a half (2 1/2) courts and you know seven (7) fae-men personally

Also, this part where Feyre is like "if I was wasting away and Rhysand just stood by without doing anything about it, Cassian and Azriel would've gotten involved and given him a piece of their minds" is so funny knowing whats gonna happen in acosf, like no they fucking wouldnt! what are you talking about!

Oh man it just occurred to me. this is the chapter where Feyre finds out theyre mates isnt it. Or like, this part whre theyre at this inn is when she finds out, Im pretty sure itll last for multiple chapters

"[Rhysand] saw right through Ianthe the moment he met her." yeah because she broke into his bedroom and sexually harassed him and just outright told him that she wanted to have his children for the sake of power ?? I would hope he would see through that

I feel like theres been this pattern in this book of Feyre only being able to compliment Rhys in contrast with Tamlin and its very strange because you would think that after speedrunning their relationship development and spending about 500 pages worth of time with him, she would be able to point out some of his positives without immediately connecting them to her ex's negatives, but I guess thats too much to ask of this ROMANCE

Like, I forgot if this was something Feyre already said or if this is still coming up but I know theres a point in this book where she's like "I think I just loved Tamlin pre-UTM because I was so broken and traumatized from my shitty homelife that I fell for the first person to show me some kindness" and that is not how their relationship felt in ACOTAR at all atleast in my opinion, but that definitely is how Feysand feels in this book

I really hate it when male characters are described as having "hard muscles" it sounds so unpleasant. im saying this primarily as someone who likes to read about characters cuddling and prefers it when theyre soft for that, but even if we're just talking smut, does having sex with a "hard" guy sound pleasant to you? or, well. you know what i mean

!! NEW RHYS-OUTFIT DROPPED !! hes wearing wide thin pants (even though theyre sleeping in an ice cold broom closet) and a tight cotton shirt, both of unspecified color

Oh yeah, Rhysand is just sooooooo powerful you guys, he needs to constantly use his magic otherwise itll just take him over and turn him into the joker

'Everyone at his Court had a use, some kind of great ability. And here I was, a strange, unpredictable hybrid that was more trouble than it's worth.' girl you are literally fae jesus what the hell are you talking about

Maybe Im just in a bad mood but this part where Rhys n Feyre are telling each other about how they would tear the world apart if they were ever forcefully seperated is so deeply annoying to me

Im not gonna translate the shit Rhysand just said to Feyre, tldr he thinks shes hot and wants to fuck her but the room is too small for that woe is him, and ughhhh. Im struggling to explain this in a way that doesnt make me sound puritanical, but something about the horniness of their relationship makes it feel really gross to me, its not just the fact that this relationship is horny because I can very much enjoy a horny fictional relationship sometimes, but the horny relationships that I usually enjoy are like, warm and pleasant from the eroticism of it all, Feysand is just kinda gross and sticky to me

Feyre's negative self-talk in regards to her feelings for Rhysand and Tamlin feels so forced, like cmon man, you keep talking about how much Tamlin sucks ass and how much better Rhys is for you how are you still experiencing any kind of inner conflict about this

Also, Feyre talking about how she was constantly thinking about Rhysand even before she left the spring court is just, a lie. does SJM not expect her readers to remember anything

Now theyre spooning and Feyre is stroking his wings and Rhysand is humping her and its like, this isnt sexy to me this is just kinda weird

bro how come Ive never seen anyone talk about Rhysand being like "I love your boobs so much, oh, you dont even know how much I love them" thats so funny

The rest of this chapter was just Rhysand fingering Feyre and honestly, it wasnt too bad, with the extreme proximity and him warming her up I can see why some people would find it hot but idk. its still a sjm smut scene and its german which makes it pretty unpleasant for me

#anti acotar #anti acomaf #anti sjm #anti feysand #flames and darkness liveblog

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mysicklove · 11 months ago

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final responses on the discourse. pls dont send me anymore asks on it - i will not respond!! (but feel free to dm if you really want to tell me something)

no you did not! i understand completely, dont feel bad. thank u for informing me.

you are waiting for the hate asks to defend me. u r so silly babes LOL.

ive never been in a situation like this before, so i wouldnt really know how to appropriately deal with it. so i cant say anything on the matter. butttt being in that post literally made my heart drop to the floor. i really didnt know about all of the previous stuff...

(sorry im on computer so its hard to cover out name so we get this ridiculous picture)

but i honestly have no clue. thats what made my eyes widen when reading the post, bc i have never heard of them 😰

im sorry! i just really dont want to make ppl uncomfortable. ik i didnt do anything wrong, but still idk i just feel. bad. im sorry!!

i dont know much about the situation, so i may be wrong, but please dont just casually call someone a neo-nazi. its quite...extreme. like i said, i dont know enough to defend/support anyone so im just going to say, dont be so quick to accuse someone of something so horrible unless you have hard evidence. which you might have, that i dont. idk.

but, i did block everyone in regards to that post. just bc i dont want to be associated with anything of that nature, whether its true or false.

i think thats what ill do. idk i dont think anyone is truly upset with me...

I LOVE YOU!!!! this is about to make me cry. thank u for sending this!!

i really dont have a backbone. everytime my friends get into fights or drama, i am always stuck as the middle man bc i just...cannot get myself involved in any sort of confrontation. even when ppl pick fights with me i dont even react, cause i just would never do anything? i have really protective friends/family that usually carry out arguments for me 98% of the time bc im such a wuss. anyways, this is not what i am supposed to be talking about

:///// im so sorry!!!! i really wasnt suppose to be there, i promise i thought it was something completely different!!

after thinking it over, i dont think im going to do a public apology. bc if i do then i will be admitting that i was doing something wrong, when in my opinion was just an accident...

thats horrible to read, and i cannot imagine someone saying something as cruel. and im sorry to the person who received something as inhumane as that. but i dont think its related to me? idk.

if this makes you uncomfortable, im sorry. i understand if you want to block me.

okay, pls dont send me anymore!! i am done with the situation, and i really hope i wont be mixed up in one of these again. but like i said, if u need me, pls dont be afraid to dm me. ily guys, and i am soooooo sorry for all of this!!!

#cw discourse #sigh im sorry everyone #i really try to avoid these things #i cant believe i got here

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hobbitos · 2 years ago

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My ongoing mission to turn call of duty (military propaganda and recruitment tool: the video game) into an anti-war love story. How do i do this? Simple.

Youve got some kids. They joint he army,. For one reason or another. Each more cartoonishly stereotypical than the last. It’s almost silly. here’s one: Lets call him. “GHOST”. Traumatic childhood. violently abusive father. battered mother. cruel brother. Poverty. the army - an escape. Maybe if i am soooooo tough. Nobody will be able to hurt me anymore. Hes in the war. He is betrayed and tortured by the very officers they re supposed to respect, and obey. People can still hurt him turns out!!!!! People can still violate his trust and his BODYYYYYYYYY. He escapes. Hes got no family anymore. Except the military. he goes back. What other choice does he have. Hes their perfect little killing machine. So are all the other kids who joined for stupid cartoon reasons! They are all perfect little killing machines. What is their lives outside of this? Soccer maybe. gymnastics maybe. U dont get to see that hough. U just get to see the death. And killing. they’re betrayed again! by the commanding officers again! by the government! Now theyre killing again. Except this time it’s people who were, as of yesterday, their allies. there is a grand total of. Maybe 5 people they can trust on the planet. at this point.

As of right now theres just the two guys though. Lets just say for instance there’s just the 2 guys. the one who got tortured earlier. “GHOST”. let’s say he’;s one of them. And another guy. Hes worked with him before. we’ll call him, “SOAP”. remember when i mentioned soccer earlier. he’s the guy who likes soccer. They get along OK. they like each other. theyre allies at the least. First time they met, there was a choiuce between going after the target, and helping some allies. they chose the allies. “GHOST” regrets it. “SOAP” says, are you saying we shouldn’t have helped...? “GHOST”: Actions have consequences.

Anyway. this is later now. where they’re stranded and being hunted rn, same place "GHOST” was tortured. He just wants to AMSCRAY. He does. He hides in a church. "SOAP” will get there eventually. "GHOST” works better alone. The "SOAP” is shot though. Maaaaybe beleeding out. And he’s got to get to “GHOST” through all these cunts who were two days ago their allies and are now trying to hunt them down and kill them . By himself while bleeding out. "GHOST”, in the church, talks him through it though. the entire time all night. instead of just leaving. there’s levity but also very real about the circumstances. Life expectancy. Wont live that long. also intimate. “GHOST” calls “SOAP” by his real name. “SOAP” calls “GHOST” by his real name too. ET CETERA. SHOCKINGLY, "SOAP” makes it out. “GHOST” runs to meet him. ‘They’re scaping. "GHOST” is like, You made it. "SOAP” says, WE made it.

they meet up with one of the 5 people. this third guy says, no man left behind, no? “SOAP” gets the idea now, actions have consequences. He’s like no, not always. No hard feelings about it or anything, just knows thats the way iut is. That’s the way it was that night. "GHOST” shoots up straight. He says . Yes. No man left behind. Searing eye contact. can’t trust anyone in the organization we’ve dedicated our lives to but me and you. we can trust each other. We can call each other by our first names. Nobody else does this btw. Nobody else is allowed to. only you can get away with that. even out of the 5 other people on the planet who we actually trust. Just YOU. ^EVERYTHING ABOVE THIS LINE IS 100% CANON IN THE CAMPAIGN OF MODERN WARFARE II. Completely bananas. Like that’s just it. You torment two people . you strip them of their humanity. And YET! they find humanity in each other. You make them kill but they find peace in EACH OTHER! For once a person to touch them without intending violence! intending SAFETY instead!!!!

now. will they quit the military. and stop killing. No. never. THis is part of the tragedy. their lives are there. With each other. With the 5 other people. Where else would they go. But there’s love in it now. They made it. The military , the war did not enable this love. It was actively campaigned against. but they have it. there is love in the war but ther eis no WAR in the LOVE! #WIN

BARA SOLDIER YAOI FTW

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stahfakz · 2 years ago

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23/4/23

I think im dreaming. This isnt real.

When you met them, you thought they were the shit, but you dont know the pain i went through with her, and shes probs told you all about her drama.

It is fucked.

The way i told everyone to like you, and they followed me, despite the shitty email you sent, and then how you attacked me back over time, shut me down, demanding responses, called me from the goaddamn work phone.

How m just told you everything so easily, like i was nothing to him.

Tbh, he hasnt been the same with me, and he was critical of me after you guys spoke.

What cruel injustice.

That you cant see.

That selfish bitches are out there, when im the one in pain, doing all the work, never getting credit.

Not once did she acknowledge my help publically, just kept shutting me down.

Kept telling me her drama and insecurities and bodily functions. For real?

Makes me want to run away from m.

----

Oh but the look on your face when you asked me if dean went into a meeting with me straight away, but i said no, he just let me know when he was available, she was so fucking jealous that I can do this.

Just reach out to a senior manager and chat to them about stuff, cos shes scared to. Because Dean is the way he is, she says, hes "hard to impress." So i guess shes jealous that ive impressed him.

Its like, ppl who are career focused to be managers, doesnt mean they should be.

And the people who should be, arent given the recognition they deserve.

I mean, she kept banging on about leadership, and its like, butch you have no idea what even leadership fucking means.

The jealousy combined with the fact i have real leadership over the team, and im not even trying. Definately not trying to promote myself here, just stating the facts.

But its still some type of sweet justice that that cunt has now fucked off. Fuck you bitch, you dont know shit.

Im secretly glad you're jealous that I have the ability to speak openly with senior managers sbout anything.

Fucking hell.

Thinking about this, has made me cry.

I wasnt able to tell my team mates, cos they all thought she was the shit.

So i have to wait, if m and i are ever together, but i doubt it, im not feeling anything from him right now cos of his judgyness. I mean, maybe they hooked up. Probably.

Who the fuck am i to think anyone could ever be a man and approach me.

I mean, B me more than m at the moment. How fucked up is that, even if B owes me, and thats how im justifying it.

I have to deal with soooooo much shit.

I almost feel like telling him that Deans been the most stable support Ive had for a number of years, just to piss him off. Like he should do better. That maybe that bitch was lying.

---------

I have to sit away from luke next time in the office anyway, so you can deal with staring at me from a distance and me looking fine af as always, like you cant have me and watch while everyone approaches me.

Cos whilst im humble af and down to earth, i am the queen of that team, even if i dont want to admit it myself or use that language.

They all gravitated towards me, even last year, long before I was point of contact, and none of them knew about my previous roles of team coach, etc.

Even luke s had a glowing report of me, and how approachable I am when helping others especially with emotional shit.

So I've pulled up my big girl pants, and stepping back into my god-given leader role.

Guiding the team on how to deal with our actual tm. Taking on board a lot more than i should, but not complaining.

Messaging the group chat with diplomatic words as well as encouragement and support, well before her farewell email with her shitty five words regarding our actual tm.

And it's showing already, how I live by my words, amazing that Emilie is loyal to me publically, and I don't ask for it.

Just some sweet frosting on that butches cake, as shes constantly refused to ackowledge her success with us was entirely my doing.

I literally cannot wait until she tries another tenured team, and gets slammed. That'll be the real fucking karmic justice.

-----

Karmic justice how senior managers know how I am, that I just say things out loud that need to be said, without fear (Thanks autism and abusive ex.).

Maybe it really is time to acknowledge that I would actually be a really good manager, and maybe I should apply and start getting serious with experience.

There are so many shit managers out there, and a severe lack of good ones.

Can I be one of the good ones? Kerry is still the best manager ive ever had, with hannah and dan a close second. And while dean isnt actually my manager, he's one of the best people in management I know, and im glad that we see eye to eye on things and that i make sense to him.

Can i break through my own belief-limiting thoughts?

🤔🤔🤔

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squidkid15 · 2 years ago

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As a deep and long-time lover of whump if you're serious about being all right taking time out to give me a list I would absolutely LOVE a list.

so I'm too lazy to alphabetize it but *cracks knuckles* let's see how this goes

Read more because I was serious about him having a shitton of issues.

The circlets he's wearing in that new picture? Yeah none of those is the original one

His tongue is lightly coated in copper after 500 years of being fed nothing but that. His sense of taste is greatly reduced, and he can faintly taste copper all the time.

His Tripitaka was...pretty cruel to him. Wukong, of course, has yet to realize this fully. He still thinks the monk was trying to help - he just failed at it (see next bullet)

He spent all of jttw and afterward being called all sorts of terrible things and never being thanked/being good enough that he's decided he never will be. ("A good person? Nah. I'm not one of those.") He's given up on it.

He no longer does things just for the sake of being a "good person," he'll only do it if he wants to. Usually, these things overlap, what he wants is generally good, but not always. He's decided that no one will ever see him as good/good enough so he's stopped trying.

Oh, every single one of these issues? Before and after this bullet? Never addressed. He's the definition of "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die". Except, unfortunately, that second part never happens so all those emotions have been bottled for literally thousands of years.

He has been borrowing mental spoons from future wukong for centuries and at some point he's gonna run out of spoons to borrow

Doesn't sleep. Ever. Hasn't for a LONG time. His Macaque has sleep/dream powers and made sure Wukong has nightmares any time he's asleep. So he just. Doesn't. This does not help the 'mental spoons' issue.

He killed his Mac. Like flat out did it. Knows he did it, meant to do it (sorta). Soooooo thats like 29473834 issues wrapped into one

The four NEW circlets were tossed on him after the fire was split. The force of taking the ring knocked him out and when he woke up he was wearing not one, not two, but FOUR circlets. Heaven claimed it was to seal the Samadhi Fire (which it does do!) but Ne'Zha and DBK don't have them so Wukong knows better.

"Last 'good thing' I did, I helped a friend with his kid. And it landed me in chains."

The new circlets have only been used once - right after he woke up and tried to rampage through heaven when he saw what they did. They were used just the once to stop that, and now remain as just a threat, but a very real one.

He won't fight back (unless its to protect someone he cares about). He just won't. Last time he fought back he killed his best friend, so he Will Not defend himself. Any amount of verbal or physical abuse, if it's aimed at only him, he won't fight back. Mac has said some awful things to him and Wukong just looks away.

Mac gave him a nightmare about Wukong killing him again and Wukong woke up and rolled right into a full-blown panic attack. It was really bad.

Killed his Mac to protect the jttw gang, and was...mostly in his right mind at the time. Buried pretty deep in Stockholm Syndrome, he didn't see that Mac was trying to help. Mac's powers make it near impossible to stop him without lethal force, and...so that's what Wukong used. He shifted into "this is a threat. threats need to be stopped" mentality, and only after he'd snapped mac's neck did he fully process what he did.

He completely understands Mac's grudge, has never tried to defend or explain himself there.

#squid speaks #answers #anonymous #lmk daydreams au

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dreamrecorder · 4 years ago

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Genshin Characters as the Major Arcana

Gentle Reminder: I just based this on a surface knowledge I have about the Arcana from my fave game Persona 3^^ As such, I paired the characters to the arcana with the help of my sis bcos there were some characters that I don’t know much about~ And again this is just fanart :))

That was long ksksks Imma add a commentary under if you feel like reading my thoughts hahaha

Soooooo

Fool: Obviously i was gonna pick the twins since they’re the main characters ksks but other than that- it has to be them because they’re special in a way like they can wield different elements. Zero is an empty number but with vast possibilities.

Magician: It was supposed to be Albedo at first- but persona says magician speaks about immaturity and power. And those two words just fit Klee so much in a good way!! Although-- Klee was supposed to be fortune too but i stuck with magician

Priestess: A woman of wisdom- Ganyu. that’s it haha I was supposed to add Ayaka too but she doesn’t have an official art yet :(

Empress: Lmao do i have to explain why i chose Jean and Ningguang

Emperor: No questions asked- Zhongli is an emperor bow. I didn’t have second thought choosing him lmao

Hierophant: So this one here symbolizes education, authority, and something about divinity and understanding the world. I chose Albedo because as an alchemist he took it upon himself to uncover the truth of the world~

Lovers: EHE no explanation needed~

Chariot: We’ve got victory, self-confidence and command!! I dont think i should explain this that much bcos Diluc is pretty straight forward haha My sister said I should Amber here too and I was about to but didn’t put her here Chariot also means war and Amber is not a war person for me

Justice: I chose xinqiu bcos of his display of justice in his story quest :))

Hermit: This means self-honesty and forging your own path- pretty fitting for Mona and Fischl right? As for Beidou, “why is a pirate a hermit?” Yeah that’s what i asked too when my sister said Beidou should be a Hermit. It makes sense tho- Beidou is a pirate and pirates stay on the sea and far from land and land is where civilization is

Fortune: Qiqi is basically the Preserves of Fortune ^^ As for Bennet, why is our unlucky boi in Fortune? Im soft for Bennet okay I just want to give him more luck and fortune on his way T-T Bennet was supposed to be hanged man but no- My sis said hanged man bcos everything Bennet does might result to more injury and eventually death. So--- NO

Strength: Pretty self-explanatory ^^

Hanged Man: Originally was supposed to be Hu Tao but again- no official art sigh So I chose Chongyun (was supposed to be fortune) This arcana means to take the time necessary for self-reflection and this fits our exorcist bcos he really reflected on how exterminate spirits without the use of his positivity- he wanted to stand by the traditional ways of an exorcist bcos ppl doubt his status as exorcist- yes, reflection for self-improvement

Death: Mr-Bane-of-all-Evil obviously (im so sorry xiao) (I was thinking adding qiqi but thats too cruel for my heart)

Temperance: Balance, synthesis, and harmony- all those for our best girl Sucrose

Devil: Childe- because he was mean in the golden house. Yes he seems to be a good guy but his eyes speak otherwise and i kudos mihoyo for that bcos when i was staring at his eyes in his official art- Dude those eye are empty- you cant read whats he thinking and it bring a sense of mistrust and malice in my way--- Even if I already did his story quest with Teucer that malice is still there for me Fun fact: Lumine was supposed to be the Devil bcos canon-villain but meh still a Fool for her

Tower: Pride and arrogance- a symbol for bad omens (im sorry kaeya) I dont know... something about Kaeya’s aura just tells me somthing bad will happen to him considering his origin- be it bcos of his pride or other things, Kaeya sends me red flags sometimes

Star: A hope in the dark. Barbara is self-explanatory and Diona is a personal experience ahaha- my first time fighting a ruin guard gone wrong and diona saved my ass ksks

Moon: Creativity, inspiration, dreams, and fantasy- all of these which Venti personifies as a bard and the Archon of Song

Sun: Xiangling and Amber brings joy to everyone and anyone, making them the sun

Judgment: I had difficulty picking for this arcana- but it all came down to Keqing. Keqing is a very serious person. She basically personifies logic and rationality- Whenever she declares that the time of the adepti are over- I know she speaks this without baseless judgment as she observes the progress of liyue and humanity in general

World: Dainsleif knows everything and anything and i was kinda spooked out by that in his story quest

AAAAAAAND THATS IT- this was one long post but hey i enjoyed this mini project of mine. I lost my sanity cleaning these cards and characters but thanks to my sugar high I managed hahahaha if you have some thoughts, feel free to share them and if you feel like you wanna speak about your perspective which conflicts mine- pls be gentle commenting ahahaha again this just fanart

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starlightc4t · 9 days ago

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HI IM STILL ON THIS I LOVE MY SELF INSERTS SO SO SO SO SO SOOOOOO MUCH WAHJSHFDJG EXPLODES AND SCREAMS COMBUSTS INTO FLAMES !!!!!!!!!!!

the two that are basically similar are not really in use but are in use at the SAME TIME but im not into those fandoms as much anymore........

the one that works with one of the games that like uses actual people as insp for characters is sort of not FULLY based on me but i really like how she looks and it fits and her name starts with an a :) ALL MY SELF INSERTS NAMES START WITH AN A HELPPPPPPPP its ok

but the one thats been in my head for WEEKS is the one who i was like omg embodiment of an angel... she ended up being a full-on prankster with her "evil" bf its ok guys whatever im allowed to do this you dont get it

i think its kind of funny i sort of went through i really dont like pranks to i like pranks .... idk i think i always DID like pranks but its like the other person was like "lets do a prank that character b dies so character a gets really upset" and im like why are you LIKE THATTTTTT or just pranks that arent really pranks and are very hurtful genuinely like WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT THATS SO INCREDBLY CRUEL !!!!!!!!!!!!

ughhh whateverrrrrrr WHATEVERRRRRR its fine i like my self inserts.... i really like miscief and devious things if you cant tell .... every oc of mine has miscief embedded in them its kind of funny

IM RAMBLING ON THE GUSHY BLOG HAHAHAHAH ok i just am happy...... i wanna write selfship drabbles so BADDDDD i wanna work on like other things its so OVER its fine....... maybe....... i dont know do you think i can............... probably....... i hope lets do it guys.

ok maybe when im not like freaking out but i know i can its just a lot to take in... i also miss my bf guys... i miss him a lot :(

I ALSO WAS GOING TO DO A SILLY THING WHERE MY OCS MEET THE OTHER CHARACTERS HAHAHAHAHAHAH its so stupid i love doing that ..... <- been thinking about hs fankids that i love a lot its fine guys who CARES ummmm

ok realistically i love my self inserts and im really proud i made them and im not really scared that much im just scared to talk about them on the main selfship blog ughhhhhhhhh how irritating !!! its fine

i forgot where this post was going its ok im just rambling atp go me... i miss rambling i dont really do it anymore ;-;

thinking about all my self inserts and going BONKERSSSS WAHHHH EXPLODES AND DIES AND SCREAMS

two of them are basically the same with slight touches

one of them is sort of heavily based on me because it makes sense for the game but i still need to like rethink on that out of fear

the other is just an embodiment of an angel because im sick in the head

but all of them probably have the same sort of mischief hidden away..... sorry i cant just be uwu good i am devious to an extreme and so of course my self inserts are going to be that too ...

idk i think i can talk about them on here but i still need to like fully think on them.... like how would they do anything in the media apart from the two that are basically the same as they dont follow canon mostly MY canon than anything

BUT THE OTHER TWO? yeah need to think about that

#ashley rambles #<- love that tag fr

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zhuhongs · 4 years ago

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WAIT OKAY WAIT IM HAVING THOUGHTS AND I NEED TO SHARE THEM so in ep 19 shen wei and zhu hong have their lil 'hey im in love with your boyfriend' convo BUT AFTER THAT when they arrive at the yashous theyre so in sync and such a good TEAM i just want them to be friends yeah anyway ehgejebr

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE MARY... I AM A FIRM ZHU HONG/SHEN WEI FRIENDSHIP SUPPORTER OKAY...hold on i have like 5 million thoughts on this..

I DO THINK THEYD BE AN AMAZING TEAM. Shen Wei does care about zhu hong... like when she was rlly doubling down on trying to pursue Zhao Yunlan he seemed concerned abt hiw zyl was handling it. and not just bc he also like zyl but like, he didnt want to see him lead her on and be cruel yk. like im sure he can identify with how she feels and genuinely wants to see her be happy. But also he knows that she misunderstands zyl and her feeling are misguided. he doesnt condemn her for that but he wants her to know shes taking the wrong angle and she needs to be more mature abt her feelings. and i think it was soooooo good. like they rlly could be good pals in the future. AND IN THE NOVEL.. OMG THE SCENE IN THE YELLOW SPRING WHERE SHE'S GIVING HIM ADVICE TO GO BACK TO ZYL. Thats soooo good. bestie moments. like sure she wants to see zyl happy too but she rlly does help shen wei too. like i loved their interactions in the novel. they would be SUCH GOOD FRIENDS. And in the drama.. their fighting styles go well together. like rlly they'd be such a good combo.

also in the cinematic universe where i wrote the guardian novel I HAVE SUCH A GOOD IDEA. like ive said it before but shen wei shouldve had a lesbian ghost queen work best friend like hua cheng had he xuan... like that wouldve helped shen wei sooo much and i love women and friendship. and like when the zhu hong has a crush on zyl subplot comes in, i think zhu hing should have her arc go as normal and in the end, end up with shen weis lesbian ghost bff. like THAT WOULD FUCK SO HARD.. I CAN FIX GUARDIAN.. I CAN FIX IT SO GOOD. but yes, shen wei and zhu hing deserve to be besties that had a crush on the same person and then resolved it. like i loveeee that dynamic. theyd be great friends and help each other grow. ALSO LIKE in the drama when they first meet she says that she knows Shen Wei, hes like an old acquaintance AND THEY NEVER ELABORATED LIKE WHAT THE HELL... i think abt that so much... IN MY HEAD (and i wrote this into my wip) i think when shen wei first came back, he probably was in contact with the yashou a lot for like political reasons. and ofc she didnt know he was heipaoshi.. so I THINK he probably posed as a biology student who was like doing research on them (like do the yashou have doctors, are their anatomies known, like the research opportunities are endless) so she knows him like that. AND YEA.. THANK U FOR SENDING THIS I JUST.. THEM!! MANY MANY THOUGHTS

#asks #mary tag #lingzhu #guardian

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larry-lovebug · 7 years ago

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okay imma tell a quick little story cause i just remembered it and its the worst so im in grade two, and valentines day in coming up. i got cute little winnie the pooh cards for my class and i was assigning cards to everyone. now at this point, i had very specific opinions of my class, mostly that i didnt like a bunch of the guys. a bunch of my favourites valentine cards i gave to my friends, and the only ones i had left to write were mostly for these guys. but they were all cards that said "be my valentine." this was absolutely the worst possible thing to my 7 year old mind, i cant POSSIBLY give a card LIKE THAT to someone! but they were the only ones i had left, so i had no choice. so i ended up giving these cards to them, but at the bottom, i wrote "but not really." I DID THAT.

#wow #like thats just soooooo #cruel?#idk but wow it that cringy

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clownboybitch · 5 years ago

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Probably the one thing about christian theology that got me to cut and run from the religion i was indoctrinated into since birth is the idea that “God loves you soooooo much that he Killed his Only son for You!! But if you dont love him back he Will let you be tortured for eternity in a lake of fire. This will be your fault. ” like first of all someone had to die and he chose... his son? Not himself? His son dying wasnt a sacrifice to him. If god is omnipresent then he never faced the loss of his son. It was a cruel and cowardly act that didnt have to happen in the first place because if this dude is really all powerful then he can just Decide no one has to suffer. He has the power. Secondly youre willing to let your son die for my eternal soul but if i dont love you back youll let me be tortured forever?? Thats some manipulative bullshit. You dont love me. You love to be loved and even If its all true i choose eternity in hell over eternity with a cruel all powerful deity who commits heinous acts in the name of being loved.

I fuck with jesus tho. He didnt do nothin wrong except have a bastard of a father but dont we all??

#christianity

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lienjhel · 3 years ago

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ok so like, gusto kong irant mga lalakeng nakakausap jo right now.

1. A - bff ko dati, happy crush kk ngayon pero feel ko mawawala din, masaya kausap sobra AAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA mabait, nag uupdate, hmm nu pa ba, supports me sa lahat ng ginagawa ko. ex crush ako neto, buti nalang hindi awkward samin ngayon na naguusap kami, I tried giving him hints about how I had a crush on him pero tinatawanan nya lang sinasabi niya lang ang dami kong qlam😭😭 may crush na siya, soooooo, and uh there's no way na magkagusto uli siya sakin, since I rejected him and told him to stop courting me on the day of his birthday. how cruel right? anyways, I could talk about anything kapag siya kausap ko, maybe its because we've known each other for 1 year? SHHAHSHAHAH lowkey lowkey lang siya, doesn't use socmeds that much and doesn't give a fuck about whats happening around him (like mga issues ganun and yung mga trends)

2. Y - idrk if thats his real name since dump acc lang naman gamit nya. uh, lagi siyang naka Lienjhel, I find it vv awkward and weird kasi no one has ever called me my name a lot of times in one convo lang, kada chat nya may name ko😭😭 nakausap ko na dati kaso di na ko nireplayan pag gising, nagseskate din pero ollie lang alam na tricks, 15 yrs old and sa roosevelt nakatira, I haven't seen his face completely tho

3. A - not sure din if eto talaga yung name nya kasi dump acc lang. Lien tawag sakin, jusko mhie bakit Lien😭😭 uhm, vv awkward and weird kasi kakausapin nya ko then pag nagreply ako, parang he's uninterested so idr quite get his intentions saakin. sends memes palagi, pag di ako nagrereply, magsesend ng pic or vid, di ko alam kung ano sasabihin ko😭😭 also, wala kaming matopic thats why di ko na sya nirereplayan, kasi parang di naman talaga sya interesado makipag usap with the way he talks, idk ha pero yung kasi pinpafeel nya saakin😭😭 i like his memes tho, nakakatawa palagi mga shineshare nya BAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

i'll probably edit this later or tomorrow BASHHAHAHAHAH but this is all I can say for now hahahahahhshwvsj

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lilsh3t · 3 years ago

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you know what? everything he said about me its true and someone gotta point m it out for me to wake me up from being egoistic all the time. but do you also know? i have been living with that truth for the longest time. whenever i get bullied, being an outcast, getting backstabbed, getting raped, getting hatred, being abused mentally and physically, being left out, getting deceived, getting cheated, being lied to and people being fake to me, i will ALWAYS blame it on me, on myself. because you know? ive been living with the truth for the longest time. whenever i met new people, i will told them about my ugly side first so they wont feel regret or blame me for my ugly side in the near future. yet people still does that. i hate myself so much. i hate myself for the longest time. my dad said i was a disgrace when i was a toddler when i havent even sinned yet. and i already hate myself. there’s a lot of things going on in my life rn yet im always to be blamed because of my personality, my traits, my attitudes and me, myself. i can never have friends, have spouse, have boyfriend, have family or have my own family, or even relatives. because nobody like me for me. thats why i hate reassurance because nobody can tell me things that is opposite of what i am because i fucking know, reassurance are fake. i have always, always and forever will hate myself. but i hide it because i want people to see that im confident and im independent, but im not deep down. i cant even stand up. im demotivated and nobody is willing to actually help because NO FUCKING ONE actually likes me and are genuine with me. not even my family bro. i hate it so much. i dont have a support system. i dont have a place to talk. i dont have anyone to rely on. i have myself and what hurt the most is that i hate myself. i cant rely on something or someone that i hate. im so lonely. i dont like myself and ive never like myself. im ugly inside and out. im selfish. im complicated. i only think of myself. im bad to everyone. i have always been cruel and evil to people. im so ugly. like bro i cant even look at myself sometimes. i always try to make people happy but i failed bro. i failed. because i cant even make myself happy. i dont know what i want in life and i dont know what is the purpose in this life. i have always been an outcast since primary school. nobody at school likes me. nobody invited me to go out but i invited myself because i was selfish and i dont have anyone. none of my cousins really like me and they dont like me since i was little and i dont understand why. what did i do. did i hurt them? did i made them mad? up until now they even have a ws group without me. i dont understand. and none of my friends reply to my text and i thought they were my friends. i really dont have anyone. i hate myself. i think the universe hate me too. its because im soooooo ugly. im delusional. and im stupid. i can never be somebody to anyone because im a disgrace. i should not be here because im misplaced. i dont want to be here either. i want to kill myself ever since all i know. i have been wanting to kill myself since i was still in primary school. i never like having this life. im terrible, easy to say im a terrible daughter, friend, cousin, grandaughter, niece, girlfriend, ex, bestfriend. all i know, im terrible. i cant make things right. i hurt people because im scared of getting hurt. idw be here anymore. idw have anyone anymore. it hurts so much. it hurts so much to have people that you think care for you but they just dont. they only show that to you to tell you they support you. but they dont. they hurt me so much bro. they hurt me so much. i dont want this trauma. i dont want this pain. im done trying to relieve my pain. i dont want this anymore. i hurt enough. i want to rest. i dont want to constantly feeling sad and hurt all the time. im a human, not a crying machine. i live for a purpose but its sad idk whats the purpose. i want to be happy for once. like once. genunely happy. i dont know if i can made it through. i hate myself so much bro. i deserve this.

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latinalesbi · 7 years ago

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So Stef and Lena clearly foster another kid and I think he goes to the wedding too. Wouldn’t he not be allowed to go out of the country as a foster kid? Do you think they adopted him since the wedding is taking place a year from the finale?

That’s a really good question. I know that to take them out of the state I would need permission, not sure about going out of the country but they would need passports etc. The child they foster/adopt is black, he will be on the trip.

Anonymous said: All these interviews from the producers seem very confident the rest of the cast will appear in the spinoff every so often. Do you think they’ve got an option on them or some sort of contract? I imagine those dumped will be off auditioning for other jobs so it’s a bit confident of them telling everyone that imo.

I think it’s bravado. What else is Hayden supposed to be working on? Everyone who can get employed will get employed. There’s no reason for fake loyalty.

Anonymous said: I had a dream that Stef and Lena got a really nice love scene. Wish we had gotten one.

I had a dream that I kept trying to tune into it and I just couldn’t manage it. I think it was trying to tell me something.

Anonymous said: I don’t think I’ll ever not be bitter about how Stef and Lena/sherri and Teri were treated in these past few seasons. That behemoth scene wasn’t worth squat! We didn’t even get a love scene but we had to see Brandon grind on grace?

I never will be over it. I will never be over how we got treated as fans. I didn’t see a behemoth scene. I saw a nice scene with a less than spectacular ending. I know Sherri doesn’t lie. I expect she shot a love scene. It’s just that it was cut.

Anonymous said: mini meet the parents reunion at the gala last night

I wouldn’t really know. I know Robert was there.

Anonymous said: Jude/Lena scenes are my favorite after Stef/Lena. I loved the nail polish parallel so much

Like, I wasn’t that impressed. They were cheap shout outs. I wish they’d written something new instead of a rehash. Especially because I don’t like Jude again, he was a complete dick up until that moment.

Anonymous said: So Brandon is in LA. Jude is studying in LA. The girls spin off is in LA. Those two as actors I think would be happy popping in and out. Though I’m guessing Brandon is the 3rd member of this new progressive show. 🙄 The moms coming in being background characters every so often makes me all kinds of sad.

I hope they won’t appear. I hope they aren’t even mentioned. What is clear to me is that those two, Brandon and Jude are recurring at best. The interviews make it sound like that.

Anonymous said: I’m conflicted! On one hand I would LOVE LOVE LOVE a mom’s spin off, on the other hand I almost don’t want Sherri and Teri to work with those people again. They dumped them initially pure and simple. The love fest from the producers for the moms that has followed has made things better but thats the truth, they willingly dumped them. The family dynamic is everything. They didn’t appreciate what they had until it was too late.

I feel you, especially after the lack of a love scene. I don’t think that they should be limited by censorship and by people who don’t want to write for their characters anymore. They’ve changed the characters so much because they are bored with them. Instead of writing Stef, they’re going to change her completely because even writing Stef for three eps is a chore.

P.S. There’s no spin off. Notice that Bradley isn’t mentioning it anymore? His leak to Perez got people to shut up. Goal accomplished.

Anonymous said: Joanna in one of the interviews seems awfully certain they will all appear in the first spinoff at times. We know nothing really but I just can’t see Teri doing it. Things have obviously improved on set, time is a healer and all that crap but my personal opinion was she has just been being professional. She never refollowed any of the four she got rid off after the announcement. Plus I’m pretty certain her and Sherri will both get other gigs fast.

She’s going to say that to try to get people to watch. I am hoping Sherri and Teri get busy as shit and can’t make it. The worst scenario would be one there without the other. They shouldn’t boost that show with a guest appearance. They don’t deserve that boost. I agree about Teri. If the hatchet was buried... where’s the refollow? You think she wants her heart stabbed over and over while those idiots gloat over their spin off.

Anonymous said: Everything will die down now until the summer. The moms spin off will be conveniently forgotten. I’m assuming they’ll start to film the other spin off soon and that will take the forefront of twitter/insta chat. Creators: ‘We want it too’ bull you do. You got a load of heat for your decision and are playing with the viewers emotions. If it doesn’t happen that’s just pretty cruel and mean to those who are obviously excited about it and being given false hope.

The spin off talk is already conveniently forgotten. Now they can say we tried, you saw the Perez post. It’s like, listen Brad, we all know that’s your bud. One of the few in the press that wrote about your shitty dinner theater. You leaked him some bullshit and now you can play it off like you tried. It is cruel. Never forget that, it’s cruel.

Anonymous said: Sorry I didn't mean you should wtite, I just meant you can and have. It was a frustrating finale. It is time to call it quits when fans can remember the core beliefs and traits of characters even when the writers can't

Sorry, lol, that was my stress talking. I think I agree with you. Yeah, it’s funny, but since when has Jude even hinted at emo-ness? I mean, some Jude expert can fill me in.

Anonymous said: When Lena was laying on the bed with the Spicy Times Newsletter , I had a moment I got soooooo nervous OMG . I thought the writers were really gonna take it THERE and have her read it ... to Stef .... OUTLOUD . My heart was hollering at that 😂

We’ll never get that lol. That would have been gold. I never felt the tension in that scene because I watched babymoon and I remember that was around the time Stef got a stick up her ass.

Anonymous said: Why do you think Stef's asked Lena to marry her so many times now ? For Sherri , that's technically her 7th " proposal " at this point - 3x when she played Vanessa on Sunset Beach . Once when her husband proposed in real life . 3x with Stef . I love it so much 😭

It was her assignment? It’s cute and those two sell the shit out of it but... i mean come on. I am married about the same time as those two and we only had one proposal, “I think we should go get married before election and it becomes illegal.”

Anonymous said: what happened to ana? did the actress refuse to come back on the show or did they write her off?

They couldn’t bother to write for her because you know Aaron, ximena, core family members. And you got lucky, they flashed her in the finale! This question was asked before the finale fyi.

Anonymous said: Maybe instead of two spinoffs they should've fought for a sixth season to properly end everything for everyone

Exactly. That’s what they should have done. It should be over. One for all and all for one.

#Anonymous

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shaydixons · 7 years ago

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wlw queerbaiting survey results!

thank you to every wlw skam fan who took mine and @aliciqvikander ‘s survey! we ended up with 313 responses! below is a summary of each question.

disclaimer: though it was explicitly stated that the survey was for wlw, there were several straight people that decided to take the survey and give disrespectful/homophobic answers, and they were deleted from the survey pool. this survey is by and for wlw skam fans, and the below statistics will reflect that. the point of this survey was to give wlw skam fans a place to share their thoughts, not for straight people to spout homophobic rhetoric.

part 1: demographics

what is your sexuality?

the survey consisted of 121 bisexuals, 109 lesbians, and 29 pansexuals; other identities included queer (17), sapphic (11), asexual (11), gay (5), questioning (4), and several other sexualities including demibisexual (1), bi ace (1), ace lesbian (2), and aromantic pansexual (1).

where are you from?

there were many different answers for this, the most common being sweden, usa, uk, germany, finland, norway, spain, canada, and australia.

how old are you?

the most common answer was 17-19 (138), then 14-16 (97), then 20-24 (63), then 25-30 (7), then under 14 (4), then 31+ (2)

part 2: opinions

who are your favorite characters?

the most common answers in order are: sana (240), isak (157), eva (139), even (127), noora (78), vilde (71), jonas (45), chris (35), eskild (21), elias (15), yousef (11), linn (7), magnus (2), and mahdi (1). there were a few people who specified that noora from season 1 is their favorite, not noora from the later seasons. there was also one vote for dr. skrulle. no one voted for william.

who is your favorite canon ship?

evak was the clear winner (237) the rest of the answers in order were yousana (55,) none (11), and joneva (8). there was also one vote for noorhelm, though it’s worth noting that this person also put noora down as a lesbian so it’s possible it was a mistake. no one voted for vagnus.

who are your favorite non-canon ships?

(apologies for the way this one looks)

the most common non-canon ships in order were nooreva (285), evilde (252), sanoora (104), evana (86), noorvilde (63), chrisana (52), jonas x mikael (41), noorevilde (35), chrilde (34), youkael (32), sonja x emma (31), sana x vilde (29), johdi (29), yousef x elias (25), iben x eva (20), noora x mari (14), joora (13), iben x mari (10), sonja x linn (7), chriseva (8), elias x eskild (5), and various others including mikael x adam, the whole girl squad in a polyamorous relationship, and noora x literally any woman.

do you like any of the following canon straight pairings? check off as many as you like.

yousana had the most votes by far (274), followed by joneva (190), then chris x kasper (64), then vagnus (22), then mohnstad (20), then noorhelm (11), then pchris x emma (8), then jonas x isabell (6), then jonas x emma (4). there was also one person who wrote “none bc julie cant write het ships to save her life”. it’s also worth noting that the majority of people who put vagnus also put vilde down as a lesbian.

Do you think that Vilde is a lesbian?

the overwhelmingly popular answer was yes (286 responses). there was one vote for no, about 10 people thought she is bi/pan/queer, and several other people were undecided.

did you think lesbian vilde was going to be canon?

the most common answer was, “i had confidence it would happen after all the hints but wasn't 100% sure” (148), then the rest in order were “i didn’t think it was gonna happen but i had hope” (82), “after julie andem hinted at in that interview i was 100% sure it would happen” (55), “i had confidence lesbian vilde would not become canon” (6), and also several type-in responses about how people think she’s a lesbian or didn’t see it until people pointed it out but now they do, and my favourite one, “She was lesbian-coded and I strongly believe she is a lesbian, but I don't think Julie knew that because she probably hasn't talked to a lesbian in her life.”

in an interview with DR, julie andem was asked if vilde was a lesbian, to which she responded "no comment". do you feel that this is baiting?

the most common answer was “Yes, because she gave wlw fans hope while she wasn't planning to follow through” with 194 votes, followed by “Yes, though I think she was originally planning to follow through but couldn’t find time to include it” with 79 votes, only 7 people thought this wasn’t baiting at all. some of the write-in answers included “i actually took that as her treating lesbianism like it was inappropriate to talk about in a way”, “I don't think THIS was baiting this was just Julie being an asshole and dismissing wlw fans. Like even the idea of Vilde being gay is just so ridiculous that she's not even gonna make a comment. The queerbaiting was literally lesbian coding Vilde throughout the entire show and throwing so many hints but not going through with it.” and “I feel like she thought saying no comment was funny bc the idea of vilde being gay is sOOoOoo ridiculous to her and the idea of a canon wlw character hadn't crossed her mind in a serious way. she wasn't thinking.” regardless, the overall response by wlw fans is negative.

do you feel like the way eva and vilde's relationship was built up was paving the way for evilde to become a canon couple in the end?

the most common answer was yes (125) but the opinion on this one was pretty split as a total of 138 people said no, 112 of them still had hope though but 26 people thought evilde was strictly friendly. many people also typed in saying that they think that evilde could have been a plot point for a sexual discovery for vilde but not have been endgame.

do you think that noora is a lesbian?

the most common answer is yes (178), there were also 56 people who voted no, and most of the write-in answers either said that they think she’s bi, or that they think season 1 noora in particular is a lesbian, and in later seasons she’s either bi or straight.

when noora was first introduced, did you think she was a love interest?

a majority of people said yes (232), 48 people said no and most of the type in responses were people saying they had watched season 3 first and therefore couldn’t say since they already knew noorhelm was going to be canon. several people also mentioned how eva looking noora up on facebook mirrored the way evak and yousana stalked each other on facebook and that if noora had been a guy her introduction would most certainly have been romantic.

please watch the season 2 trailer if you haven't. do you feel this is an example of queerbaiting?

the most common answer was “Yes, this is explicit queerbaiting” (145), followed by “No, but I do find it disrespectful to wlw to act as though sleeping with a woman is a scandalous thing” (84), then “Yes, this is accidental queerbaiting”, and only 3 votes for “No, this isn’t queerbaiting and doesn’t bother me.”The write-in answers included: “can i just say how gross it is that they took noora possibly sleeping with another girl as something for willhell to get off on??? anyway yes this is queerbaiting bc the entire season was abt noorhell”, and “WTF WTF WTF I JUST WATCHED IT FOR THE FIRST TIME AND WHAT.THE.FUCK. LIKE WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT WHY WOULD YOU BAIT THE GAYS KNOWING THEY WOULD HATE YOU LIKE IF YOUR MAKING A SEASON THATS BASICALLY A LOVE LETTER TO ABUSIVE STRAIGHT MEN WHY WOULD YOU NOT MAKE THE TRAILER SOMETHING GROSS AND STARIGHT LIKE THE SEASON SO AT LEAST THE STRAIGHTE ARE HAPPY LIKE ASIDE FROM HOW CRUEL AND IRRESPONSIBLE THAT WAS TO QUEER FANS IT JUST MAKES NO SENSE ON A ADVERTISEMENT LEVEL LIKE IDK A LOT OF STRAIGHT PEOPLE WHO ENJOYED THE SEASON WOULD WANT TO WATCH IT AFTER THAT TRAILER??? I AM SO UPSET AND I CANT BELIEVE HOW STUPID PEOPLE ARE WTF !!!!!!!!”

in addition, I had someone message me after they took the survey with new thoughts about the trailer and I quite like what they said so I’m going to include it here:

okay so i answered this in the survey, but i had new thoughts abt the s2 trailer. the more i think abt it the more pissed off i get b/c: okay, from what i heard, fans from s1 were interpreting noora as a lesbian right? (if s1 fans could weigh in that'd be gr8) & that makes sense since fans interpreting noora as gay is brought up p early in s2 in the form of vilde, so we know that they were aware of these theories. so, when deciding on the s2 trailer, when deciding to present a scene in which noora wakes up naked w/a man & a woman, knowing the theories abt noora being gay (& since scripts are finalised only slightly before filming, they had time to change it after hearing what fans were saying) they decided to only show her w/the woman??? despite the man being much more important to the story? (& like it wouldn't've been a spoiler to see nico. u don't see mari's face, it could've easily been hidden) they had to have known how that would be interpreted!! they had to!!! they absolutely had to have known that showing that would be baiting fans w/the promise of lgbt+ content w/no follow up. i did say in the survey that i saw the trailer as explicit queerbaiting but. when i put more thought into it, it was actually even worse than i thought? i mean, s2 trailer is gayer than s3's & SEASON 3 ACTUALLY HAS GAY CHARACTERS. i can believe that the lesbian coding of noora in s1 was an accident, but the s2 trailer was absolutely intentional & it pisses me off so much.

please watch the season 1 trailer if you haven't. do you feel this is an example of queerbaiting?

this question had no type in answers and most people agreed it was queerbaiting, “yes, this is explicit queerbaiting” was the most popular answer with 165, “no, but i find it disrespectful how kissing girls is treated as something dramatic and surprising” was the runner up with 85 and “yes, this is accidental queerbaiting” was third with 48 and last came, “no, i don’t think it’s queerbaiting and don’t find it disrespectful” with 12.

opinion on queerbaiting & skam?

the overwhelmingly popular choice was that there was explicit queerbaiting, with 200 votes, there were also 88 votes for “they originally meant to have a canon wlw character but decided not to follow through”. there were NO votes for “there was no queerbaiting”. There were many type-in answers, including “who honestly makes a character say they get horny when kissing a girl and then make her straight? if that is not the biggest fkn queerbaiting idk what is”, “I honestly don't think they intentionally queerbaited at the start, but when it's been explicitly stated multiple times that they took audience response into account when writing the show they should have looked at how much wlw were identifying with some of the things vilde has said/done and taken that opportunity to represent wlw in the show. We know they see what people say about Skam on social media so there's no way they didn't see all the posts about lesbian Vilde or bisexual Eva, etc. They just chose to ignore it.” and “skam continuously brought up the concept of two women being in a relationship but never took the time to explore it; it feels like julie thought she'd done enough by simply acknowledging that wlw exist”

part 3: long answer questions

i just want to say that there were so many beautiful responses to these questions and I wish we could include them all! So many of you are so insightful. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and I’m sorry we can’t include all the ones we like!

what moments did you feel most baited by?

the most common responses were the evilde kisses; the entirety of noora and eva’s interactions in season 1, in particular the first meeting; and when vilde said “I made out with Eva, the feelings that arise don’t necessarily mean you’re a lesbian.” Here are some of the responses:

The evilde kiss in season 4 cuz like at that point, they knew exactly what they were doing, they knew they weren't gonna follow through, and it gave wlw false hope when in the end both of them were shoehorned into forced straight relationships.

u g h. 1. all those extremely Gay looks between noora and eva in s1 were absolutely unreal. they had so much chemistry and were always looking at each other so appreciatively. 2. vilde going on and on about how cozy a lesbian couple would be, her getting turned on by kissing eva when she couldn't get turned on by boys, her and eva actually kissing - passionately - which was unlike something ive seen before tbh. they had this sort of fiery passion but at the same time there was a gentleness and familiarity to the kiss and the way their bodies just meld together. that's what really made me feel baited. also, all the social media updates from vilde.

When I first watched vilde commenting on Nora's sexuality and making out with Eva I thought they were explicit hints at her being lesbian, but watching them again in context they definitely feel like Julie making fun of the fandom thinking nooreva would happen and then acting like women kissing is scandalous or a joke

the way noora was portrayed in the first season came across to me as if she would be a love interest and showed interest in eva that seemed to go beyond just friendship. the repeated kisses between eva and vilde and the whole "feelings that arise" thing that followed.

if you think vilde is a lesbian, why?

this question had many answers but most of them touched up on vilde and evas constant making out at parties and the way vilde talks about men. Many people pointed out that vilde is obsessed with being popular and liked and that she picks the men that will fit that image and doesn’t actually feel attraction to them. there were also very many people who said that they can relate to vilde’s experiences. here are some good responses:

(I've spent way too much time pondering this but: shortened version). The main thing that almost convinces me that lesbian!Vilde would've been canon if she'd gotten a season is the contrast between how she talks about her "crush" Willhelm, & Eva. Like having her basically say "guys don't turn me on, thinking about feminine-coded objects does" & "making out w/my female friend makes me happy & horny but the prospect having sex w/my One True Male Love makes me nervous & uncomfortable & drives me to drink" (WHICH ISAK DOES WHEN TRYING TO HOOK UP W/EMMA) & how upset she looks when she sees Eva kissing PChris instead of her! I mean, w/o lesbian!Vilde what's the point of those scenes????? & "my orgasm felt like a sneeze down there" r e a l l y. & then there's how she doesn't want to hang out w/her bf magnus, how she seems to choose either a guy who's already explicitly into her (magnus) or the "hottest guy in all of third year" (william) as crushes, the former after her friend points out that she's not hooking up w/guys!!!!! & then there's her obsession w/noora being gay (like straight girls fetishize gay guys sometimes, yea, but they don't react like that to gay girls). And I mean, w/her desperation to be popular & fit in, it'd make perfect sense for her to bury her sexuality b/c she feels (perhaps subconsciously) that it'd ostracize her from her peers more than she already is. There's just!!!!!! So! Much! Evidence! (Eva-dence 🌚🌚🌚)

Okay, so I'm ace, I don't feel sexual attraction towards anyone and I'm positive Vilde feels the exact same way about men. I do however think she does feel attraction towards women ('the feelings that arise'?? Hello??). But I do recognize myself SO MUCH in how she is towards men. The way she forces herself onto men and over compensate, how she sexulizes herself because she doesn't feel it so she tries so hard to act like she thinks it should be, talk about what she should feel, what she should like. Because isn't that what everyone does? I did that shit for years before I figured it out.

have u heard her talk ever

well yes everything about her screams closeted lesbian/struggling with compulsory heterosexuality. not being turned on by men, describing stereotypical girls clothes when saying what makes her horny, admitting she was turned on while kissing eva, her obsession with noora being a lesbian, claiming she's so in love with a boy but being "relieved" when he doesn't want her, having to get drunk to have sex with a boy, also "feeling relieved" if said boy doesn't have sex with her. the entirety of s3 she didn't hook up with anyone but the moment the girls joked about her not getting dick she hooked up with the first that showed interest. her relationship with magnus didn't even feel genuine on her part or even healthy up until like the last clip that they tried to make the audience sympathize with them together lol.

she obviously cares a lot about what other people, particularily girls, think of her, so she would struggle with coming to terms with her sexuality. her crush was the most generic popular older boy because he's who she was supposed to be into, she wanted to sleep with him so that her first time would be with a popular guy (also to help out her bus friends) (if wanting to hook up with guys to impress other girls isnt lesbian culture i dont know what is) yet when she finds out he and noora are a thing she feels relief (she also expressed that she'd feel relieved if he never called for sex and while that could mean she just had butterflies the fact that he didnt turn her on at all makes it v questionable), she felt feelings for eva after making out with her, she is turned on by traditionally feminine things... The way she behaves around magnus reminded me of my romantic/sexual interactions with men which only appealed to me when i could discuss them with girls or go on double dates with other girls or show off to other girls (it was always about girls!!!) and just julie why do you hate us

many lgbt people got into the show because of the gay representation. was this the case for you, and, if so, do you feel disappointed in the lgbt representation as a whole?

the response to this answer was mixed. most people said they got into the show for the gay representation, though many say they got into it because of the girl squad, or sana in particular. the general consensus is that people are very happy with evak and the portrayal of mental illness, but that there are no wlw characters and no trans characters, so the lgbt representation as a whole is lacking. here are some responses:

I had high hopes when Vilde talked about how cosy a lesbian couple at the cabin would be but I don't think the show creators ever took their responsibility to queer women seriously. What little respect there was in the few comments like Vilde's was eroded by their queer bating. Looking back I wonder if they thought Vilde acknowledging the existence of lesbians and making statements about lesbians not being weird WAS positive representation.

I did! Skam actually helped me figure out I liked girls, watching season 3 first then circling around and watching all of vildes "gay" scenes kind of made it click and I lived season 3 but when I look at the rep as a whole, it seems Julie only recognizes gay/pan white men as worthy of exploration or mention outside of humor and it's so strange for me because I know vastly more wlw than I do mlm so for there to be 0 cannon wlw characters is almost mind blowing

Yes and yes. Fuck that lesbophobe honestly I'm done with this whole cute gayboy trope if it means it's only meant for the straight fetish af gaze

yes, part of the lure of the show was the gay rep and the fact that there were no gay girls is a let down, mainly bc andem has said that the show was made for teenage girls. if so, why are there no gay girls as part of this teenage experience??? why would a sexuality struggle or a picture of finding urself not include them??? but the worst of all is the disappointment in the fact that andem EXPLICITLY said "no comment" about vilde. she should've said outright no, that was rlly irresponsible and almost mean bc it gave people hope. honestly until then i liked gay hcs but i didn't have much hope it would be canon and didn't mind too much if it wasn't but it was specifically that comment which made me think "ok, vilde is going to be lesbian in canon for sure!!! that's exciting".. like i wouldn't have expected any more from the show than evak if she hadn't sent that expectation??? it's like,, ok, if u only want to show a limited part of the lgbt community in ur rep, make that clear from the outset and i'll take it for what it is, but to keep up this pretence and bait fans and then for canon to fall short and not deliver is truly so embittering and disappointing, or it was for me at least

how do you feel about the way lesbians are represented on skam? do you feel they are treated respectfully?

most people here answered either: which lesbians?, or talked about all the lesbian jokes in season 2. so the overall answer was no, two girls making out is a joke and something for penetrator chris to stare at.

No, not at all? Eva kissing girls at parties is treated as frivolous (which it often is irl, but I would hope that fictional media would give a purpose to that plotline?), & despite her bf obviously freaking when she kisses a guy at a party, his ex making out w/eva & ingrid at parties apparently didn't bother him at all, b/c it's not cheating if it's two girls!!!! And the jokes about how Noora can't possibly be gay in s2, which I didn't mind at all when I thought that they were set-up for Vilde's coming out arc, but now that that's gone nowhere, it's genuinely upsetting. & for a show that was apparently created in order to represent teenage girls, the fact that they had an entire season about male lgbt+ characters, & yet never delivered on making any female ones? That's ridiculous. If they wanted to represent the underrepresented, as they claim, maybe they shouldn't have focused on the adventures of the white cishets?

No in no way it was like there was no possibility that there could be lesbians so fuck you julie andem for this

Lesbians are as a punchile of a joke like girls making out it's not and it should not be as real as boys kissing boys or girls kissing boys. Skam actually enforces compulsory heterosexuality and laughs so while doing so. Whenever lesbians are mentioned, it's never seen as valid but more as a funny joke.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA- ahem. On a serious note. I think the writers used specific themes and close female friendships to bait wlw viewers. So many of the storylines are explicitly coming out / questioning / discovering yourself storylines and yet they were all wrapped up with random-ass "men! *heart eyes*" conclusions. ESPECIALLY Vilde x Magnus.

i feel HORRIBLE and betrayed. it feels as though julie decided that teen lesbians don't exist? don't matter? are disgusting? don't deserve representation? are only there for the purpose of straight guys or as a punchline? the answer is all of the above. this hurts even more cos this show was targeted towards teenage girls. i;ve (unfortunately) grown used to this sort of lesbian queerbaiting/fetishization in shows targeted for men/teenage boys, or as distasteful and hurtful jokes in comedy, but in a show that i thought i would see myself represented in it stung even more. there are also 3 queer boys, but no girls? julie took it upon herself to write a whole season dealing with coming out and dealing with homophobia as a boy, but she couldn't even just make one of the characters a lesbian? thanks???

do you feel that the lack of wlw representation on the show is just a coincidence, or do you think it's intentional? is it part of a wider trend of lesbian erasure and lesbophobia in media?

This question in particular had so many insightful responses. The consensus is that with all the care that is put into Skam, it’s either intentional or completely careless. It’s incredibly disheartening to have so little lesbian rep in media, and the little rep we do have is often stereotypical, morbid, or, as in Skam, the lesbians are treated as jokes. The reason the lack of wlw representation in Skam hurts so much is for two reasons; first, we were baited very hard (see the previous responses); and, two, there is SO much care put into Skam, they interviewed 1000 teenagers, they read social media reactions, they put a ton of care and effort into the show and incorporate fan reactions, so to not include wlw characters despite knowledge that many wlw saw themselves in vilde, noora, and eva; feels incredibly intentional and disrespectful. here are a few great answers:

I think Skam is such good at showing diversity and realness in young women in every aspect but sexuality. It seems like Julie Andem has drawn on personal experience without much filter which makes the show authentic and relatable, as we all know. But with that said, the way sexuality was treated feels not so much like a personal experience as it does a personal fantasy - and in general, season 3 seems like a fantasy with the Baz Luhrmann theme and big, romantic gestures. Somehow it felt lazy? At least in terms of breaking boundaries, because it definitely would have been more groundbreaking to show a lesbian main character, defy lesbian erasure and talk about the lesbophobia in teenage girls. I think somehow that would have been too much for the show to handle? Too controversial? The same way that they never really dug into Islam or islamophobia in season 4 - it hits too close to home. So, I think the lack of wlw representation is partly because of the mystification of LGBT people which led to this big, fantasy-like season 3 (also a representation of straight, teenage girls' fantasy), and partly because it would be too difficult or controversial to have one of the mains be a lesbian, be forced to tell her story and make people examine their much more subtle lesbophobia. This also makes it a lot easier for the creators to queerbait because they can show that they know wlw exist but at the same time feel no obligation to actually tell the stories of wlw. So, it is not only lesbophobia in the media, but lesbophobia in society.

I don't think it's intentional in the sense that Julie thought to herself, "oh, let's see, hmm, no lesbians on this show", but I also do believe that the decision to leave the girls' sexualities unaddressed is intentional and lesbophobic; we all know that Julie and the crew spent time reading fan theories and shit. They knew we wanted it and cared jackass about it. Even in Vilde's clip, it could've been confirmed just by her mum asking if she's met any cute girl. Or that Magnus and her exchanged a text message that left us knowing their "relationship" is bearded. Or that even Eva is confirmed bi. They could've continued that storyline off show and on social media, with just slightly addressed (for the casual viewers), because they knew that the fans following the show religiously were expecting the rep. The decision to leave wlw rep out in the final season is complete lesbophobia and awfully disgusting of them.

for sure its lesbian erasure and lesbophobia in the media. 100%. theres no way julie can have isak, even, eskild, have her lesbian coded character say the word lesbian several times, exhibit lesbian behaviour and compulsory heterosexuality throughout a whole series - and then randomly and coincidently forget to include an actual lesbian character. nope. there was all the time in the world, she just choose not to - whether by her own prejudice or total disregard for lesbians, i dont know.

I think it's intentional. I think this is why, even when the original plan for the show was to have each of the girl squad have their own season plus isak, the season with the big coming/LGBT storyline featured a gay boy and a m/m couple, because that content is more palatable to an audience of mostly straight girls, and also non-straight sexuality in younger girls is almost never taken seriously. And I think apart from the queerbaiting, Julie was straight up lesbophobic in how she treated the concept of girls loving girls as a literal joke and something to laugh about that couldn't possibly be real; you know, the feelings that arise /can't/ mean you're a lesbian because that's just preposterous, apparently. And this is definitely a wider problem in media, because people cannot fathom girls liking each other romantically and wanting to be with other girls and whatnot, and then there's the whole thing about (straight) girls being sooo comfortable with their friends that they can kiss each other at parties and cuddle and all that but God forbid one of them isn't actually straight.

PART OF A WIDER TREND OF LESBIAN ERASURE IN MEDIA AND SHE SHOULD GET BACKLASH FOR IT IN THE NORWEGIAN PRESS AND BY NORWEGIAN LGBT ORGANIZATIONS BUT INSTEAD SHE IS TREATED LIKE THE PERFECT ALLY AND WINNNS LGBT AWARDS AT OSLO PRIDE

Wider trend. I think creators acknowledge the need for queer community representation, but then go with the easy option of two cis white boys kissing and think that's ticked the box. And I get it, because the two boys option will be popular, there's plenty of evidence to show it. But if you're not giving us the option to root for two girls written with the same care and depth and multi layered story, you're never giving us the chance to show how hard we would support a wlw relationship and create actual change across the media. We as wlw viewers would've defended the show creators if they copped flack for representing wlw or torpedoing a popular straight ship, and a lot of us have done stuff like vote in polls for Evak to show our support for that. We have their back. But they don't have ours.

it's not a coincidence. it cannot be coincidence when while having a mlm relationship on the show there isn't any wlw relationship or even just a lesbian/bisexual/pansexual girl. and there where plenty of time to make a wlw on the show. (they could have made eva bisexual and make season two about nooreva with a strong and self-confident lesbian noora, but okay, whatever) why couldn't they make sana's muslim friend a wlw?? it would mean so much not only to wlw fans but also to muslim wlw fans??? or give sana a wlw sister?? it wouldn't hurt the plot but would give at least some wlw representation. the conclusion is while having more and more gay representation (and i respect that, i do realise that is just as much important as wlw representation) a lot of shows just want to get attention and only give a gay couple so that young straight girls could fetishize them and don't give them proper storylines. and most of the shows that have a gay couple do not have a lesbian couple because i suppose they think there is "limit" on the lgbtq+ characters. and skam isn't the exeption. wlw fans have been queerbaited and humiliated by julie and skam multiple times and i fucking hate it. i also hate julie since hates lesbians.

conclusion: queerbaiting is very common in media and gay people are naturally more in tune to it. the majority of wlw skam fans who took this survey feel that there was queerbaiting on skam, specifically with vilde and season 1 noora. the majority of people who took this survey are incredibly disappointed, and got their hopes up during seasons 3 and 4, only to have their hopes dashed. it would have meant so much to many wlw skam fans to have a wlw character, but instead many feel disheartened, disappointed, and even hurt at their existence being treated like a joke on the show. vilde and noora were both explicitly lesbian-coded, so to make jokes around their sexuality feels like adding insult to injury.

bonus: some nicknames for william we saw: willfurry, mr. dicky, limpdick, richdick, dickface, trashelm, willphlegm, willdemort, willtwat, shitdick, dickface, and one person called him a naked mole rat.

THANK YOU again to everyone who participated!

#skam #skam survey #warning this is really long #ily guys thanks so much for giving such great answers

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