#like that. just. I love when pyro gets to remain an enigma :)

[gophergal]

so I was very inspired by a certain post by @madmilkproductionplant (N S F W WARNING)

the visual of this was just very striking to me

[tf2-headcanons-polls-confessions]

What all of your femme!tf2 headcannons?

Fem!Scout

Feral. And I mean feral. Scout is to this team what Pyro is to the canon mercs.

Medic gave her some sharper teeth so she can bite people.

Also she’s from New Jersey.

Not as fast as C!Scout but hits much harder.

She’s Miss Pauling’s girlfriend. Pauling likes her because she’s chaos incarnate but is also just very sincere. No over-trying, no posing, no filter, it’s attractive to her. 

Fem!Sniper

Has an incredible sense of humor. If she met C!Sniper she’d probably say something like “Mate, you’re paid to blow up idiots in the dessert. Loosen up.”

Her best attribute would probably be her stealth. It doesn’t matter if she doesn’t hit her target the first time because you’ve no idea where’s she’s coming from.

Her second best would be her gymnastic skills. She finds perches anywhere and climbs just about anything.

Basically, she’s really hard to spot. Almost better at camouflage than the Spy.

Fem!Soldier

Much like her counterpart, she is incredibly patriotic and was prevented from joining the army. 

However she was denied for stupid reasons like 

“this is the 40s and girls can’t be soldiers” 

and “No you can’t be a nurse either, especially when you tell us you plan on going AWOL” 

and “For Christ’s sake girl you’re obviously not 18. You can’t join the army, you’re a child.” 

Didn’t stop her from training though! By the time the 60s rolled around she’s more than able. 

She’s really good at playing the trumpet. Absolutely shreds that thing. 

She’s also an idiot, but a happier idiot. 

Fem!Spy

Good relationship with Scout although they’re not related. Basically the inverse of C!Scout and C!Spy’s relationship.

Hear me out. She’s a stoner.

The predominant way she attacks is via poisons. They have effects such as temporarily blinding a player or reducing their muscle movement.

Also holograms. She has hologram gadgets.

She’s still French and has expensive taste, just less uptight.

Pyro

Does not wear a full gas mask, but wears a face covering and goggles and usually has a hood up along with gloves, long sleeves, and boots. So it’s the same effect. 

They are completely nonverbal. (Can’t talk, not just a muffled voice.) 

They really like cars. Surprisingly, not just for the gasoline. 

They’re about as much of an enigma as canon!pyro, with the exception that their hair is sometimes visible.

Bit of a loner honestly.

Fem!Medic

She’s British! She is also exiled from England and banned from the UK.  

Yes it was for the medical malpractice. 

She has antidotes for Spy’s poisons. They have a rivalry that matches canon Spy and Engineer’s but with fem!spy being more like engineer in this case. 

She’s an aunt in personality. “Love, dear, darling,” etc. are an integral part of her dialogue. 

She’s crazy as the canon medic but in the opposite way. She has an abundance of calmness and apathy as opposed to his surplus of exuberance. 

Fem!Engineer

Probably the most similar her counterpart. 

She’s got the Southern charm. the subtle god complex, and the country-isums.

Unlike C!Engineer, however, she’s not a patient person. She has a temper like hot coals. 

She remains a sweet smiling Southern bell when she’s furious, her tone doesn’t change but her actions do. She gets violent.

She never shows physical signs of anger. No red face or growling or anything like that. Just gets a vicious smile and glare.

Fem!Demo

Also very similar to her counterpart in personality but not in background.

Really jolly and friendly. And loud. 

Has extreme bad luck. Like, comically bad luck. Her last name may as well be Murphy.

She, however, does not believe in luck.

She’s an orphan who grew up apprenticing under several types of demolition jobs.

Eventually she was refused by everyone else because every mentor that took her on would end up blown up by their own had within the year. 

Fem!Heavy

She builds her weapons herself. She’s incredibly resourceful and a scavenger by habit.

Kazakh.

She likes collecting little things. She has a giant doll house filled with miniatures of everyday objects. 

She’s completely stoic when in battle. Big, intimidating, quiet, doberman type.

Outside of fighting, though, she’s a really gentle and good humored person. She has an affinity for Sniper’s antics.

[motleycrueroadie]

Along for the Ride (pt. 7)

Author’s Note: @sonyawongraven - thank you for reaching out and reminding me about this story. I hope that this update meets your expectations for my writing!

 Previous Chapters: One I Two I Three I Four I Five I Sixx 

When I was a kid, in the rare times that I would read, I had read briefly about a mythological Greek creature called a phoenix. From what I remember, a phoenix cyclically generates itself wherein it combusts and the new phoenix rises from the ashes. In some ways, my music career and myself as a person could be described as phoenix. Frank Feranna Jr. went up in flames and Nikki Sixx rose from the ashes. More recently, the inevitable downfall of London was catalyzed by yours truly in an anger driven resignation by fire and the unnamed band of misfits rose from the ashes. After watching Vince perform at that excuse of a “party”, I knew he was the front man we wanted for the band. However, the silence that came after that realisation was paralyzing and continued to constrict until Vince’s arrival. Despite the fact that we would have found another front man, I was doubtful that he would’ve lived up to the vision I created in my head once I saw Vince play, so I was grateful enough that he had finally shown. Now we had the basic outline of a band but needed a name and a reputation for that name. Of course, in building that name I would also be able to cash in on Janis’ promise to attend our first show. 

Janis’ unwavering presence continued to bewilder me with each passing day. My internal pessimistic voice attempted to convince me that she was simply thrill seeking, sticking around because I was her polar opposite and it attracted her. The juxtaposition between us was especially highlighted at the pool party. If Janis had been separated from us, I would’ve had a hell of a time trying to pick her out of the crowd. However, I had to remind myself that Janis didn’t come looking for me. For all the time that I have been living in this building, she has been right above my head. She knew of my existence and never came knocking on my door, but she freely allowed me to walk straight into her life when I sought her out. So each day, these opposing views struggle to dominate my perception of her, attempting to maintain this enigma status to her. The thing was, I knew she wasn’t an enigma. She has never created a veil of illusion to who she is. When I asked her about her parents, she told me. I came to understand that Janis treated everyone like they were her friend but you only knew her if you had asked.

“Baby? Are you coming with me?” The whine in Vince’s girlfriend’s voice was undeniably the most annoying fucking thing I have had to endure this afternoon. She’d been here since we began at 4:30 and she made me want to bash my head against the fucking wall and leave my corpse for the roaches to eat. Glancing over to the microwave in the kitchen, the time read 8:15 which meant that Janis would be bringing down dinner in fifteen minutes. Apparently Tommy followed my glance at the clock,  I could literally watch the kid’s hamster in his brain pick up speed on the wheel as he realised the implications of the time. Tommy probably only understood the fact that he would be fed and not that this whiny bitch had not taken a liking to Janis earlier. 

“Dude you have to stay, JJ,” Don’t get this bitch started Tommy! 

“WE have things to talk about and we want you to stay for them Vince.” Mick was the one to interrupt, catching Tommy’s inability to remember details. Tommy looked over at me with his mouth still open, obviously confused as to why he had been interrupted so I met his look with a quick shake of my head to indicate for him to drop it. “That is, if you’re willing to leave Rock Candy?” We all looked at Vince expectantly, waiting for his answer. 

“Yeah of course man.” Almost instantly, a genuine smile broke out on my face, Tommy and Mick were donning similar smiles, the latter’s was more subtle in comparison. Sticking out my hand to Vince, he shook it firmly. The smile on my face only continued to grow as his girlfriend took the hint that he would not be joining her and left, slamming the door behind her. 

“What Tommy was about to say before I interrupted him was a reminder that Janis is going to be down in a few minutes with some dinner, but I figured that it was best if that were left unsaid in front of your lovely girl.” Looking over at Tommy, watching his hamster go into overdrive with Mick’s comment was amusing to say the least. Too bad I didn’t know how to play poker because Tommy would be so fucking easy to win against. There was a sudden and uncoordinated knocking at the door and Tommy jumped up from his seat to answer it. Opening the door revealed Janis with a dish in her hands,

“I’m a tad bit early but once I saw that beautiful car leave, I figured this place would be safe for me to enter.” Janis spoke as she crossed the living room to place the dish down on what little counter space there was available. Turning back to face us, she spoke directly to Vince “Your girl has natural guard dog tendencies, but judging by her perception of me as some threat, you” pointing her finger in a mock accusation, “must be the real dog.” Vince, by now sat on the couch, slouched his hips forward and stretched his arms out across the back of the couch.

“You,” Vince imitated her enunciation, “ walked in here wearing very little clothing, all giddy and excited. Can you blame her?” Janis looked quite shocked at this statement, and turned to look at me for support. I for one, knew she had no ill intentions, but knowing that it would get her flustered I shrugged my shoulders slightly to. My intentions of flustering her worked as her cheeks turned rosy and she began playing with the skin of her nails. 

“Holy fuck Janis.” Mick spoke with an air of exasperation at her, “They’re busting your balls. You didn’t come off as an adulterous whore looking to fuck this asshole.” She let out a breath that none of us noticed that she was holding in and I laughed at her frustration to which she began laughing as well while flipping Vince and I off. She looked back over at me, 

“Is it a safe assumption that you don’t have any cutlery or plates for us to eat off of?” She knew the answer to her own question, but had asked it anyways, a habit that annoyed me. The corner of her mouth twitched up in a smirk, and she moved her head in the direction of the door. 

“Someone come help me bring the rest down, and DO NOT,” she whipped around to catch Tommy about to reach under the tinfoil to pick at the dish, “touch the food with your bare hands that have not been washed since god knows when!” She strode over to him grabbing his arm, “In fact you can be the one to come and help me!” Since first meeting her in the diner, Tommy knew not to argue with Janis on the matters of etiquette and manners so he simply allowed himself to be dragged out of the apartment. Placing the bass gently into the stand, I walked into the excuse of a bedroom, which was in fact a mattress on the floor with blankets haphazardly strewn across it, to retrieve some papers for naming the band. As I emerged from the bedroom, Tommy and Janis re-entered carrying what appeared to be plates, cutlery, salad, and buns. 

“Why didn’t we just come up to your apartment? Considering the amount of stuff you’ve brought down, wouldn’t it have made more sense for us to come to you?” I asked her.

“Am I not allowed a change of scenery?” Shaking my head at her, she grinned knowing that once again she had answered my question with another question rather than just giving me an answer. “Anyways, I’ve made baked pasta and Caesar salad for you all.” Tommy of course had his plate ready and his ass back on the couch before she even finished the statement. Grabbing beers from the fridge, I placed them all on the table before glancing expectantly to Janis while holding one in my hand, she nodded back to me. Once we were all seated, I began alternating between eating and shuffling through the papers and notebooks in front of me trying to find what I was looking for. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Janis watching me. 

“So here’s my theory okay?” Speaking up suddenly, I had their attention, “Look, if we want to knock people on their asses then we’ve got to give them a show. The punks? They’re doing the minimalist thing, so let’s take this in the exact opposite direction…” Tommy and Vince were nodding in agreement with me, while Mick remained stoic and difficult to read. However, I was only looking towards Janis at this point, not because she was an integral part of the band that I needed approval from but because I was nervous. Being nervous at this point sounds stupid, but I have been thinking about this band long before these guys were sitting in this room with me. “I’m talking, I’m talking a stadium show in the clubs, man,” unconsciously my hands were talking with me as I grasped at ideas, “Like, like costumes and lights and…”

“Pyro and flames and shit! Explosions.” Tommy exclaimed. Janis glanced over at him and gave a light laugh as she turned back to me, but his enthusiasm only built confidence in me that at least he shared my vision. 

“Exactly! Exactly!” Becoming more focused, I reigned back in the conversation. “Look it’s a fucking war out there and the only way we win is by showing these kids something they’ve never seen before.” 

“So what do we call this thing?” Vince spoke, signaling that he was also on board. Flipping through the notebook pages, I continued “You know it’s all about being fucking larger than life.” Stopping on the page, I looked up to Vince and showed him the pentagram symbol and ‘XMASS’ name. 

“X-MASS?” He questioned. 

“On a scale of 1-10? I think it’s a 1.9.” Spoke Mick. The others gave snorts of laughter while I felt slightly defeated. 

“It’s a play on Christmas. You know? You can use all the Christ imagery and shit. It’ll piss people off and make people think!” My attempts to steer this conversation back into my direction did not appear to be going in my favour. “It’s got shock value.” 

“Yeah, I’m shocked at how much it blows.” Mick stated. Exasperated, I put the notebook down on the table. A business pitch gone astray, I had lost them. Janis glared at Mick before letting out a sigh, and picking up my notebook to flip through some of the pages.

“Not quite sure what religious trauma you went through but I’m sensing a theme here.” Setting the notebook back down on the table, she looked me dead in the eyes and spoke genuinely, “You don’t want to piss the wrong people off and the church are definitely people to steer clear of. Also you’re overestimating the intellectual capacity of the club goers Nikki. They don’t want to think.” She shrugged her shoulders, “They just want to get fucked out of their minds and listen to good music.” 

“Alright then assholes, you give it a shot, but fucking make it big.” Each of them grabbed a notebook off the table, save for Janis who continued eating her dinner while glancing at the clock in the kitchen. I followed her gaze to see it reading 9:00, looking back I caught her eye and she winked at me before looking down at what Tommy was writing. She smacked him on the chest with the back of her hand and he laughed as he turned the notebook around to face us. A crudely drawn dick with the words “The Fourskins” written on it was the best he could come up with. 

“Really Tommy?” I feigned annoyance while I laughed. 

“Yeah cause we’re going to fuck the audience in the face every night dude!”

“But can you see that shit on the marquee above the forum every night?” Again, I had unconsciously talked with my hands, splaying out across a fake marquee. 

“Yeah you’re right. I’m out.” Tommy tossed the notebook back onto the table as Janis gave him a whispered scolding for essentially wasting his breath but I knew she found it funny too. Mick seemed to be deep in thought, so I jutted out my chin at him and he turned the notebook around while speaking, 

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this.” The paper read Motley Crew. Janis chuckled lightly at this, looking around the group while I took the notebook from his hand to add a few tweaks to it.

“Don’t think I could have thought of a more encompassing word for you lot.” Janis and Mick exchanged a look and she held out her fist to him, he smirked and reached across the table where he sat to return the gesture to her. Turning the notebook back around to the group, it read Mötley Crüe. Despite losing their attention earlier, they all nodded in agreement to this name and the encouragement energized me.

Not long after our name had been decided upon, Janis (with the recruited help of Tommy yet again) packed up the leftovers and made her way back to the apartment. It had almost slipped my mind that it was a Monday night and she would be headed to work. She thanked us for letting her intrude on our band naming session, which I found to be amusing considering that she had been the one to feed us for free. Once Tommy had returned, the drinks were flowing and I was beginning to get a sense of who Vince was and I quite liked it. Over the past few weeks, I had been able to go out with Tommy and Mick. Tommy proved to be someone who I could raise hell with and although Mick wasn’t a complete buzzkill, he did not seem keen on joining in the festivities. He humoured us by dryly laughing at our antics but his heart never seemed to be quite into it. Although, maybe Janis could get him to loosen up a little bit. Mick seemed to tolerate her a bit more than he did Tommy and I for whatever reason. 

“So what’s with that Janis chick, Tommy mentioned her at the party more or less as cherry on top of the offer,” 

“Must not have been why you really came seeing as you showed up with a chick. Also please don’t bring her back here.” Hoping to steer him clear of the topic of Janis, I would rather not listen to him talk about her like I assumed he would. I loved pussy as much as the next person, but Janis wasn’t pussy.

Vince began listing reasons why he kept his girl around, among which was money, something none of us had a lot of. Fuck. If I had known she had access to cash, I would’ve been kissing her ass rather than been at her throat earlier. He briefly apologized for ghosting us on the offer but explained that he had eventually listened to the tape and liked it but also figured that he owed it Tommy to come for helping him out when he was in a tough spot in high school. If he didn’t feel in debt to Tommy, he probably wouldn’t be here. I couldn’t tell whether I should respect him or be annoyed. Doesn’t matter now cause he’s here. 

With enough beers in my system I was beginning to feel cramped in the cluttered and frankly gross apartment and felt I had enough of my company for the time being. It was a bit difficult to shake Tommy off but I told him to stay at the apartment with Vince and Mick so they didn’t feel they had to leave. The Whiskey-a-Go-Go was only down the street from the apartment building and didn’t take long to reach on foot. Staring up at the marquee, I knew that our name was going to look great up there and it was simply a matter of time. Turning the corner, I could see the fluorescent sign of my destination in the distance. Approaching the same window I had seen her in initially, Janis was not visible, but I could hear Jump in the Line by Harry Belafonte playing from the jukebox inside meaning that Janis had acquired some quarters. Opening the door, I reached up and stopped the bell from ringing to maintain a stealthy approach. This one looked quite similar to the one above Janis’ apartment door but newer. It clicked that she must have taken the old when it was replaced. Turning my head left and right I could see a pair of bent sun kissed legs on the ground peeking out from underneath a table with one converse clad shoe tapping along to the beat of the song. Approaching the table, making sure to keep to the side so that she wouldn’t be able to see me, I shifted uncomfortably when I saw that the skirt of her uniform was riding up on Janis’ thighs as she sat on the floor appearing to scrape gum off the bottom of the booth. 

“For someone scraping gum off tables, you look pretty happy.” She jumped slightly at the surprise of my voice and banged her head off the table, cursing and rubbing it while glaring up at me. Holding out my hand to her while laughing at her pain, she smacked it away with the straight edge scraper and made her way off the floor. 

“You want a JC?” She questioned, making her way over to the bar. 

“Of course.” Sliding into the booth, I made my way over to the jukebox that had stopped playing to slip a quarter in and chose a personal favourite. The opening guitar sequence to Dream On by Aerosmith rang throughout the diner and Janis nodded appreciatively as she approached with the JC which I gladly accepted and downed in two gulps. She smirked up at me in what I could only describe as a devilish grin. I smirked back down at her, “What?”

“Did my spit make your drink taste especially good?” The laugh that I loved to hear blended beautifully with the song. I was content being here, even if she had spit in my drink as payback for scaring her. For now, life is good, exceptionally so with Janis by my side.