#like that little girl from gravity falls and shit from what I’ve seen in the screenshots of ppl posting about this whole thing

[tariah23]

It’s like, some of the major themes of the game revolve around misogyny and the patriarchy, not even if you squint. You can draw porn or make suggestive art of characters who’ve been through trauma, no one is saying that you can’t, but it’s like, it really really doesn’t make since for a character like (imo) Anya given the nature of the story at all. It’s such a short game afterall and we only got to meet her through her trauma and it’s just… :(. People already reduce her character to her being simply a victim of sexual assault and nothing else. But all of this extra shit is just as tone death and attention seeky (ppl wanna go viral for being edgy, go figure.) Like, ppl are drawing dumbass art of her to “own,” people now. They don’t care about her character or anything. The og artist that drew that Anya draws weird art of little girls anyway so what the fuck ever. Like I personally didn’t come out of the game thinking “Anya needs a good man who will fuck her raw and appreciate her body and love her forever 😍-“ like man, what game did YOU play or watch… This game leaves such a bitter taste in your mouth after experiencing the story and I believe that that was the initial purpose and like, ppl can have fun and interpret the story however they like in anyway that they find the most enjoyable to them. I don’t want to come off as an asshole who’s complaining but man, it’s just…???

[babiebom]

HAI!!! your writing is so good omg :3 can i request the sdv bachelorettes with a farmer (can be fem?? but gender neutral is cool too!) who’s secretly really into theater/musicals? like how would they react when they found out? :] tysm!!

A/N: I LOVE MUSICALS !!!!!!!! I wanna audition for the theater here where I live but also I would be too anxious and shit myself so it’s a no go. But I enjoyed being in choir in high school. Literally Starkid is my favorite thing right now. Also no problem!!

Tw: cursing? None really but fem!reader!!

Bc: at least 5 for each!!

Stardew Valley Masterlist

Penny

I think she likes musicals but only the romantic ones.

So like The Phantom of the Opera is one that she really loves.

When she finds out you love musicals it’s because you’re going to have a movie night and you have a dvd of one. (We’re going to say that the broadway people recorded one of the stages and released it idk)

And she’s like !!!!! Can we watch this one?

And you’re like “heheheh I mean sure…it’s a musical though!”

And she just reveals her own love for musicals

Leah

Her finding out is really you finding out and then her finding out you also like them

I don’t think she watches musicals at all she just listens to the songs

So when you find out it’s you walking into her cabin in the middle of her making something

And she’s in the middle of listening to Carnival de Barrio

And you’re like…….?

And it’s a whole “haha you weren’t supposed to find out about this” as if it’s a secret that should be taken to the grave

And you’re like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN? You weren’t supposed to find out about me loving musicals?”

And you two just stare at each other for a minute like DAMN that’s kinda stupid when you think about it huh?

It’s funny afterwards! I think she’d actually have to fall over laughing so hard.

Maru

I don’t think she cares for musicals at all

And probably knows what they are but she hasn’t seen one EVER

So her finding out isn’t really her finding out

It’s one of the songs playing while you two are hanging out and she’s like “oh this song sounds nice! What is it? I’d like to listen to it while tinkering with my robots.”

And you’re just like “heheh it’s from a musical…”

And she just shrugs and is like “okay what’s the song?”

Will watch the musical with you!

But like I think she only watches the musicals of the songs she likes

So she isn’t a super big musical fan at all but has probably watched Waitress with you or Dear Evan Hansen (sorry for spelling I’ve only heard like one song from this musical and don’t really remember the spelling).

Haley

Either she’s a big theater person or she thinks it’s cringe there’s no in between

So her reaction would be VASTLY different depending on which you believe she is.

Personally I think she’s on the thinks they’re cringe except for Mean Girls, Heathers, and Legally Blonde end of the spectrum.

I feel like when she finds out it’s a whole “Jesus Christ you scared me” and a “lmao are you listening to a musical?”

Would make fun of you a little, but only a little because she likes you and thinks you’re pretty.

Will sing defying gravity and popular because she’s Glinda. You have to be Elphaba(omg I’m a fake fan I forgot her name and called her Idina)

Those are the only songs she knows from Wicked and will not watch the musical until the movie comes out.

Emily

Probably LOVES musicals

But only the obscure ones that no one else knows that was on stage for a single day and was never done again.

I don’t know any musicals like that so you can imagine whichever one you want if you know any.

Probably songs at the top of her lungs while making clothes, it’s how she relaxes.

Will watch any musical with you because she is up for anything.

When she found out it probably was because a song played while you had a playlist on shuffle.

And it was a “oh I like this song!” Instead of her asking about musicals and your love for them.

It’s more natural than the others finding out because she doesn’t make a big deal of it at all.

She just silently accepts it because if I’m being honest I think there’s very little she hates.

Abigail

One hundred percent makes fun of you

Like no ands ifs or buts, she makes fun of you

I don’t think it’s in a malicious way though

Like never do I think she would genuinely make fun of anyone unless she actually dislikes them.

It would be a “HAHA YOU LIKE BEEBLEJUICE HAHAHAHA”

Yes she would say beeble instead of beetle.

Is very willing to watch and listen with you though

She’s the type of person that thinks that doing something with or for someone because they like the thing is a very good way to show love.

Like if you hate video games but will play them with her because she loves them makes her feel as if you love her more than doing anything else

So yes she will watch all the musicals you wants

I do think she prefers Starkid musicals because of the chaos.

Her favorites would be Firebringer and the one with the penises and vaginas that sing I forgot what it’s called.

[cloudofhearts-world]

As someone requested on my last one here’s an update✨

So this goes back to when I was 16. We knew each other in high school and I didn’t truly get close to him till our senior year together but ignore this for now.

So I’m 16 it’s Covid and I’m chronically online like all of us were. For once I went to bed at a decent time and while sleeping I dream of a little girl. A little 4 year old girl with her brown hair in pigtails and a pink shooting star shirt (like Mabel in gravity falls).

I was hella confused cause I had never seen this girl in real life, she looked like me😭😭 I started freaking out a little when suddenly the field we’re standing in starts moving like waves. I felt like Jesus walking on water. So I grab her and run to the dense forest that was around us like all around us. Once in, the trees were spread out and there were other people there and children running around playing. The little girl was next to me now and holding my hand. The people were standing under balls of light either talking with each other or staring at their light. It was beautiful honestly. Suddenly I decide to walk further into the forest to try and find a way out because I didn’t know how to get back to the field. Then I woke up.

This little girl popped back into my dreams almost a year ago now except she was maybe a year old and I was shopping with my mom or my best friend. She was in a blue onsie (luckily full head of hair). I was arguing with the person I was with to just get the best one when suddenly I’m in an apartment I’ve never been to before but knew personally in my dream. There were men I knew in my dream as well all of them saying hi to me and the girl. Suddenly, it’s almost like I was lucid dreaming now, I turn around to fully understand where I was because I didn’t know. As I turn I spot someone I do know in real life (sadly not the guy I talk about in my last posts) and I go to him to introduce the girl. I’ve started to think of her as my baby btw.

As I’m introducing her I can’t get her name right. It keeps coming out as “my girl” “baby girl” “Ella” and soon as I said Ella in my dream I wake up and just say the name “Estrella”.

I had no clue where that name came from. Now I have an idea.

Pop forward to last week when I dreamt of her again except this time I was pregnant and about 8 months along. I was arguing with a coworker of mine with my nana there. My coworker had cigarettes. He doesn’t smoke or drink so I don’t know why he had them.

I was asking to have one or two but he kept saying no because I was pregnant. Finally I managed to get two and I hide them in my purse. In my dream I wanted them so I could just smell them later?? What a weird ass pregnancy craving but ok.

So last night (fully have been thinking for a year that I was going to be pregnant sometime soon) I decided to look up what the dreams mean and in a crash course way it just means I’m anticipating a change in my life regarding relationships or other things and I want to be nurturing.

My dreams have legit been counting down to the moment the guy (I can’t remember what I call him on here so I’m gonna call him amata) comes back from outta country.

Amata and I have known each other since we were 10 (small town shit right there) and he’s seen me go through all stages in life sadly I’ve had some embarrassing ones. We didn’t really start talking till our senior year in high school when we shared some classes and sat relatively near each other. Again not really talking but being friendly.

My graduating class was small so we had a groupchat on snap with one of our teachers that we all loved. That chat was wild. Which is how I got Amata’s snap. Over the course of last summer we got closer and started flirting. It started out with both of us hitting on the other one’s mom.

Around August last year we made a plan with my best friend and her boyfriend to all get a hotel room and drink together just to meet up and have fun. It was really fun. My friend and her bf not so subtlety leave the room many different times to try and get Amata and I to kiss?? Instead of kissing we both called random people on our phone cause we thought it would be funny. Finally my friend and her bf come back to pass tf out. They didn’t go to sleep they passed out. And that’s when we kissed. I felt like a 12 year old girl having her first kiss. (We ended up falling asleep together AHHH🤭)

A couple days later Amata and I go swimming together. This is where I learn he absolutely cannot handle cold. This man is a human furnace and can’t handle cold water. Me being an ass got in instantly and laughed at him as he gradually made his way in.

We play around in the water a bit mostly me being shy now that he was actually in and close to me cause I can’t handle a crush. Eventually we get out and start walking around a trail. This butthole pointed out how I walk funky which I do.

We get to the halfway point and decide to turn back because he had something to do and I wanted a shower because I worked the next day. Once we get to the opening we’re both joking around and teasing each other when he pulls me in and kisses me. Yall never once in my life till that point was I speechless from a kiss then he happened.

Anyways back to the baby’s name being Estrella. So I’m pretty sure in my last posts I’ve compared Amata to the stars. Estrella in Spanish means stars. All this time and the signs were infront of me. There were more signs but that would involve being way more open than I’m willing to be.

If I’m wrong about Estrella meaning stars please please correct me. I’m very much so not fluent in Spanish.

The reason I brought the dreams up is because they were counting down and yall may interpret this how you like and please tell me your ideas. I only have so many people I can tell about my dreams.

Recently talked to Amata and I’m excited for him to get home like truly excited cause lord has this year been long.

[thirsty-flygirl]

Falling for You

Formerly Idiots

Part III: That’s My Girl

Poe Dameron x f!Reader

AN: Here is my first and favorite series, back with a new title and a few adjustments to make it more reader-friendly.

Warnings: Language for now. 18+ Only. This chapter does include Reader being carried by Poe - I apologize that it’s not entirely inclusive, but our Poe is a strong man with a low center of gravity and I needed to get an unconscious Reader from Point A to Point B. Also, some references to blood and injury, but nothing too graphic.

Tag Requests: @capbrie​ @jitterbugs927​ @1950schick​

Words: 1400

Part I  II

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

“So it’s broken, right?”

You peered into the T-70’s cockpit at the instrument panel. Poe pointed at what remained of the imaging system’s screen, now a shattered mess. 

“You’re asking if that,” you gestured to the screen, “is broken?”

Poe, sitting in the pilot’s seat, shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re the technician, Sweetheart, I’m just a lowly pilot.” His trademark grin forced an answering smile to your lips. Poe Dameron was making you soft and you weren’t entirely sure you didn’t like it a little bit. 

“Well, Commander, in my professional opinion, I’d have to say that yes, the screen is, in fact, broken.” 

Poe reached up and gently chucked you under your chin. “That’s my girl. I knew you could help.”

You drew in a sharp breath at his touch, his words making your heart twist. “My girl.” A few weeks ago you would have rolled your eyes and shoved him away. Now, though . . .

You were definitely feeling differently. 

Every time he walked in a room you became hyper-aware of every laugh, every movement. One of his smiles could make your day, your week, because knowing he was in your life meant everything to you.

He meant everything to you.

You realized you were still hovering above Poe, your faces only separated by a few inches, and you could just lean down and –

“Anyone left in there, we’re headed out for a drink!”

Jessika’s voice echoing from the open hangar door snapped you from your thoughts like a bucket of ice water over your head. Realizing how close you were to Poe you jerked back, not thinking about the edge of the canopy right above you. Sharp, blinding pain bloomed behind your eyes the moment your skull made impact with the unforgiving metal and your vision went black. You swayed on the ladder, sure you were going to pass out. 

“Shit!” Poe cried, his hand shooting out to grab your arm before you could fall. He swung out of the cockpit and, holding your weight against him, somehow got you both on the ground. Once your feet hit the concrete, Poe scooped you up in his arms and held you close.

“Sweetheart, you okay?” His voice, tinged with panic, washed over you, but you couldn’t manage a response. You went limp in Poe’s arms, completely knocked out. 

“Fuck,” he swore, moving as quickly as he could with your dead weight. Halfway to the medbay he felt dampness on his skin and looked down, heart plummeting at the sight of dark red blooming from the spot where your head lay against his shirt. 

He ducked his head to kiss you gently on the forehead. “Hang on, baby, we’re almost there.”

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally reached the entrance to the medical unit, catching the attention of the doctor on night duty. 

“She hit her head on my canopy,” he explained breathlessly, setting you on the nearest gurney and cradling your bleeding head in his hands. “She’s unconscious and her head won’t stop bleeding.” He looked helplessly down at your face, which grew paler by the minute. 

The medic moved him aside to take your vitals, urging your head up to peer at the steadily-bleeding cut near your crown. Seemingly satisfied that you weren’t at death’s door she turned to Poe standing at the foot of your bed, one hand gently resting on your ankle as though afraid you’d disappear.

“She’s going to be fine, Poe. A nasty gash on the head and surely one hell of a concussion, but nothing life-threatening.” Poe blinked at her for a moment before giving her a small smile. 

“Thanks, I . . .,” he swallowed, “ . . . I was just worried. It looked bad.”

The doctor smiled and patted his arm before moving away to gather the supplies necessary to clean and dress your wound, leaving Poe to drop to the stool next to your bed. He watched wordlessly as the doctor cleaned and bandaged your head and gave you a shot of painkiller. Nodding his thanks as she walked away, he gently took your hand and brought it to his lips, hoping that the sensation might wake you up. 

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured against your skin, “this is all my fault. I had to make up an excuse to see you, so I told you there was something wrong with my fighter . . .” He laughed softly and shook his head. “Truth is, I broke the damn screen myself. Ziff made a comment about your ass over the comms and I got so pissed I punched the instrument panel.” 

Poe sighed deeply. “I go crazy whenever I see you with anyone else. I act stupid and jealous and . . .and you aren’t even mine. I honestly don’t think you even like me most days, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life, and I think I could die a happy man if you just . . . I don’t even know . . .just throw that smile of yours my way every once in a while.”  

He brushed another soft kiss across your knuckles and leaned forward to rest his head on the bed next to you. 

“Mmmph.” 

Poe’s head shot up at the sound of you waking. He returned your hand to your side and gently cupped your face, rubbing his thumb against your temple and taking care not to disturb the gauze covering your injury. 

You slowly opened your eyes, blinking against the harsh light of the medbay. As your vision focused you saw Poe standing beside you, a look of concern written across his face. 

“S’goin’ on?” you mumbled. You felt buzzed, tingly, like you were high on something. A dull ache pulsed in your head, but not enough to register any pain. You offered Poe a bleary grin and reached up to gently smooth the furrow between his brows.

“Soooooo ssssserious, Dammmmmeron.”

Poe smiled at your touch and closed his eyes for a moment, relishing the sensation of your fingers on his skin. He grasped the hand you held up and pressed a soft kiss to the inside of your wrist, his eyes slowly opening to gaze back down at you. 

The way he looked down at you made warmth spread across your body that felt entirely separate from the rest of whatever was making you feel so loopy.

Maker, had he always been this gorgeous? 

“You’re pretty,” you sighed.

Poe laughed and kissed your hand again. 

“And you’re high, Sweetheart.”

Your brows knit together. “I am?” 

“Don’t you remember what happened? Damn, that’s some good stuff the doctor gave you.” He took a seat on the stool again, still holding your hand. “You cracked your head on my canopy and knocked yourself out. Bled all over me, too,” he said good-naturedly. 

You dropped your gaze to the dark stain on his shirt and then back to his twinkling eyes. The memory of Jess’s voice and that moment of panic when you realized how badly you wanted to kiss Poe came rushing back to you. You felt a dull sense of embarrassment but were too relaxed by the painkiller to filter the words that came out of your mouth.

“I ‘member.” You removed your hand from Poe’s grip and pressed a finger to his lips. “I wan’d to kissshew ‘n’ got scared.” 

You sighed dreamily and dropped your hand back on the bed. 

“Think ‘m fallin’ ‘n’ love with you, Poe.”

You gave him a dopey smile, your eyelids drooping from the effects of the medicine. Poe watched you drift back to sleep with a stunned expression, not sure if he had heard you correctly. 

You were falling for him? 

A huge grin split his face as he watched you sleep, feeling lighter than he had in years. You were his future, he knew it with every fiber of his being, and he wanted to grab you and kiss you, tell you how crazy he was about you and make you his forever.

But he could wait. He’d been waiting since the moment he first laid eyes on you, when Leia had introduced you to the crew and your eyes met his for the briefest of moments. That small, shy smile you’d given him, before your attention was diverted to something else, was all it took for him to realize that he had been born to love you.

Maybe it had taken you a little longer to realize it too, but that was okay.

Poe was used to being first.

[thran-duils]

Lost In Zero Gravity (P.3)

Title: Lost In Zero Gravity (Part Three) Summary:  Fem!Reader x Mob Boss!Tony Stark x Mob Boss!Steve Rogers.  Reader is a call girl who runs high end parties. She catches the attention of Tony Stark who invites her back to his room with his friend. She might have performed too well because she becomes their new favorite play toy and they don’t like to share. Words: 2,574 Warnings (for the fic in entirety): Smut, prostitution, infidelity, angst, domestic violence, stalking, possessive behavior

Part Two || Part Four || Masterpost (mobile) || Fanfic masterpost

There were hands on you and you tried to push them away, frightened.

A man’s voice said quickly, “Sorry, sorry. I’m here to help. I’m gonna get you some help.”

“I… no, no ambulance,” you got out.

“You do not look good at all, love,” the man said, his hand cupping the back of your head to keep you steady as you tried to push yourself up off the ground. “You should stay down.”

You shook your head, “No… I live close.”

You stumbled getting to your feet, falling back against the wall. You groaned painfully, holding your head and slid back down the wall to sit back down on the ground. Your vision was swimming.

“You can’t walk on your own. I’m calling an ambulance.”

“I—”

“It’s okay,” the man said, and you heard him saying, “Yes, I’m on Newman Avenue—”

<><><>

Tony was calling again. He had called a couple days ago, texted yesterday, and you had not responded. You were too afraid to speak to him; you knew you would probably cry because you would have to explain why you could not meet up with him. It went to voicemail again and you sat there staring at your phone. You did not want to lose him permanently as a customer; you liked his attention. You were actually starting to develop feelings which was a big no-no but you could not pull yourself away.

It had only been a week since Jared had messed you up in the alley and your face did not look great. Your eyes were black from your broken nose and he had left quite a shiner on your cheek. Your ribs were still sore too from where he had kicked you, bruising them.

You crawled off your bed and walked to the door, throwing it open. You made your way downstairs, passing one of the other girls on the way down, who rubbed your arm affectionately. You gave her a small smile before continuing on to Tatiana’s office. You knocked on the door lightly, seeing her through the crack of the open door.

“Yes?” she said, looking up from her desk.

“Can I come in?”

“Of course, stellina,” Tatiana said, sitting up straight at her desk. Her eyes ran over your face and you saw her expression tighten. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit still.”

“I can imagine.”

You shifted and asked, “Can you do me a favor?”

“What is it?”

You held up your phone and said, “Tony called me a couple days ago… texted too. And he just called again. I… I don’t think I can talk to him about it. And I don’t want him to think I’m mad or anything or that I’m done with them. Could you call him and explain?”

Tatiana nodded immediately, “Of course. I have some time now.”

You grabbed a piece of paper off her desk and copied his number down for her. You pushed it across the desk, “Thank you.”

She held up her hand and said, “Wanna sit here while I do it? Just in case… something comes up.”

You hesitated but nodded and sunk into one of the chairs across from her desk.

“You know this is mutually beneficial for me to do this,” she told you. “If they like you as much as they seem to, maybe they will shower you still with gifts.”

“I’m not worried about that,” you cut in quickly.

“Regardless, having them keep up pay possibly in the meantime will help out. Not to be crass.”

You nodded, “I understand.”

Tatiana picked up her desk phone and dialed the number you had written down. “He might not answer,” she said as it began to ring. “Won’t recognize the number.” She sighed, hearing it go to voicemail. Briefly, she left, “Mr. Stark, please give me a call back at this number regarding my employee that you’ve been trying to reach. Thank you.”

She kept it vague. Smart.

When Tony called her back almost immediately, she smirked. “Looks like I was clear enough…”

“Hello, Mr. Stark,” Tatiana said, answering the phone, putting it on speaker. “This is Tatiana Bianchi.”

“Did I get blacklisted?” was the first thing out of his mouth.

Her face scrunched, “No, you didn’t.”

“Then why is Y/N not responding to me?”

“Y/N is not working.”

There was a pause. “Did she leave the service?”

“Kind of. She is taking a break.”

Tony’s voice was rougher this time, “So she’s on vacation? She could have at least told me that.” You flinched at that. “I’ve called a couple times and texted.”

“I don’t know how to put this lightly, but her ex found her,” Tatiana said. And added quickly, “Her asshole of an ex. He left his fucking mark. Broke her damn nose, bruised her ribs. Gave her a concussion. I think he would have done worse if some Good Samaritan hadn’t intervened before he could do anymore damage. Bastard stole her money too and her purse. The job she was working was close to here and he said he had been following her, so he knows where this place is. She doesn’t want to see anyone, understandably. I wouldn’t put her out there either right now. And in regards to her responding to you, she asked me to talk to you about it because she’s upset. Again, understandably.”

Tatiana was watching you across the desk as she spoke. You were chewing on your lip, listening to her explain it to him.

“I wanna see her,” Tony said tightly after a few moments.

“Mr. Stark—”

“I want to see how bad it is. Talk to her about it.”

Tatiana locked eyes with you and she asked, “Can I put you on hold?”

“Sure,” he said curtly.

She pressed the hold button and looked at you expectantly.

“I don’t want him to see me looking like a trainwreck.”

“Y/N,” Tatiana said in a quiet voice. “You know why he’s asking to talk to you.”

“Yeah, he feels bad and I get that—”

“No,” Tatiana cut in, shaking her head. “I think he wants to talk to you about it for a reason. A very specific reason. You know what he does, you know who he is. You really think he couldn’t handle that little dickhead?”

You shook your head, “I… I don’t think that’s what he means.”

She gave you a knowing smile, “Okay. So, maybe he does just want to come and give you flowers. Is there anything wrong with that?” You stared at her for a few moments, and she pressed, “He seems like he’s a pretty stubborn person. What’s to say he won’t just show up anyway? Why not do it on your own terms and permission?”

“Okay.”

Unmuting the call, Tatiana said, “Sorry about that. I needed to talk to her to see how she felt about it. She agreed.”

“I can come early in the morning. Like 5. Before it gets light.”

“I’m sure that would be fine.”

“Alright, I’ll be there. Thank you for the call,” Tony said.

“Goodbye,” Tatiana said to him before he hung up the phone.

“God, that’s so early,” you muttered, slumping back in the chair.

Tatiana quipped, “You better get a good night’s rest then so you’re up and ready.”

You pushed yourself out of the chair and said, “Easy for you to say. You’re essentially a vampire.” That caused her to smirk. You thanked her, “Thank you for doing that.”

She nodded, “Of course.”

<><><>

There was a loud knock on your bedroom door that drug you from your sleep. Your eyes snapped open, and you quickly realized you must have turned your alarm off completely when it went off. You swore under your breath, checking your phone. It was 5:07am. You got out of bed, rubbing at your eyes and walked over to your door.

When you opened it just a crack, you saw Tony and Steve standing there with a couple of their men standing behind them in the hall. You saw their jaws set seeing you, taking in your face. Even if it was just illuminated by the light coming in from the hall, you were sure the bruises were visible enough.

“Um, morning,” you stammered. “Sorry, I didn’t get up in time. I’m still in my pajamas…”

Tony rose his brows, “You wanna let us in?”

You swallowed sharply but opened the wider, stepping back to let the two of them file in. You turned from them and walked over to your bed, flipping on the lamp to give soft light in the room. Their men stayed in the hall and Steve closed the door behind him.

There was no way to hide now, and you turned back to them, playing with the hem of your t shirt, shooting an embarrassed look at them.

“Christ,” Steve muttered upon fully seeing you.

You eyed the large bouquet he was holding but before he could hold it out to you, Tony came up to you. He was staring down at your face and you could see the fury in his expression. He reached up, turning your face gently to get a better look at your cheek.

His jaw clicked before he asked, “He found you on the street, Tatiana said?”

“Yeah. He followed me, I guess. Has been following me it sounded like. I hadn’t seen him in a year and a half almost.” You gestured at your face, explaining honestly, “It’s not anything new. I didn’t leave him for no reason.”

“You wanna give me a name?” Tony deadpanned.

Your heart race increased. Tatiana had been right. “Not really,” you told him quietly.

“A name, Y/N” Tony repeated.

“I just won’t walk alone,” you tried to reason and side step it.

Steve snorted, shaking his head and your gaze was drawn to him. He shook his head again when he saw you looking. “No. That’s not how this is gonna work. This,” he gestured at your face. “is fucking unacceptable at best.”

“I don’t care to give you a name. Really. I appreciate—”

“Y/N,” Tony’s voice was firm as he cut you off.

You were pleading practically now, “I’m serious. I don’t care and I don’t want to deal with him.”

“I came here before dawn to figure out how I’m gonna kill this little prick. I would appreciate it if you would help me out, darling,” Tony told you tensely. “I don’t take lightly to men hitting women. Especially women I’m invested in. And you won’t be dealing with him. We will be you. You don’t have to be involved at all.”

Tatiana was right about him being stubborn, although you already knew that. He was not going to leave without the information that he wanted.

“Jared Easton. I don’t know where he lives now though.”

“Where did he live last you knew?” Steve asked.

“We lived in Chelsea. I don’t know if he’s still there.”

Tony took his phone out of his pocket and opened up his note app. He held the phone out to you and said, “You can put the address in here.” There was no room for a discussion, he was telling you to do it.

Grinding your teeth, you took the phone reluctantly. Your hands shook slightly as you typed in the address of the townhouse that the two of you had shared. When you handed the phone back to him, Tony’s demeanor relaxed. His hand came up to hold your neck, staring into your eyes.

“You don’t have to be afraid of him,” Tony told you softly. You nodded, tears pricking your eyes and you tried to hold them back desperately. Tony sighed, reaching up and wiping away one that escaped with his thumb. “We will see to that. We promise.”

He gave you a hug and your heart skipped a beat as he kissed the top of your head. This was a different kind of intimate than normal. You liked it, despite all the warnings to not get attached.

When he stepped back, he said, “There’s breakfast downstairs for you whenever you get hungry. I know a lot of people don’t like to eat super early. But Steve’s smart, thought it would be good to bring it. He remembered you liked that place in Williamsburg. I think he only remembered because you liked somewhere in Brooklyn.”

That caused you to give a little laugh which is what Tony had been aiming for you guessed.

Tony’s eyes ran over your face and he gave a small smile. “There. That’s better. I don’t like it when you look sad, baby.”

He stepped back and Steve stepped up, holding the flowers out to you. You took them and you thanked him. Steve leaned forward, giving you a kiss on the top of the head as well.

“When you’re feeling better, let us know,” Steve said as they made their way back to your bedroom door.

<><><>

After they left, you brought the flowers out to the dining table, putting them in the center.

Elisha appeared in the doorway and looked around. She was still in her pajamas but she did not look tired; like she had been up. That was odd because she loved sleeping in. But you got your answer soon enough.

“So, they did come.” You nodded. She smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, the knock woke me up and I waited up to talk to you about it. If you want to.”

“It’s fine.”

“They brought flowers?”

“And breakfast.”

“Aww,” Elisha said coming over closer and leaning in to smell the flowers. “That’s super sweet of them. So… did they do what Tatiana thought they were going to do?” You nodded and her eyes widened. “Did you give them anything?”

“They forced me to basically. They weren’t going to let it go.”

“Why are men so goddamn protective of whoever they’re bedding?”

You shrugged, “I hope nothing bad comes from it.”

“You should be happy.” Tatiana’s voice startled the two of you. She walked further into the room, and said seriously, “They’re doing you a favor. You should relish in that type of protection. Not many are afforded it. And don’t worry about them messing it up. They’re professionals, Y/N.”

“I just don’t want anyone dead because of me,” you said. “Even if it’s him.”

“Well, then let them do it for me. Because when I came into that ER room, I wanted to find the little bastard and gut him myself. So, better them than me getting my hands dirty. Assholes like him won’t stop with a restraining order or charges against them, so this is the best course of action.” She paused before forcing you to look at her directly. “Y/N though, my dear… just know what this means. This is big. A very, very big favor they’re doing. Sure, it is going to satisfy them but they are killing someone for you. That is not something to brush off. You need to show appreciation for it. Elisha is right. Men are very protective of whoever they are bedding and they also like to be praised for it too. Do you get that?” You swallowed sharply, giving a curt nod. “Good.”

She clapped her hands, her mood changing quickly. “Now, let’s get you some of that breakfast because I saw what it was and it looks delicious. It’ll cheer you up. Go, go!”

~~~

Forever tags: @coconutqueen21 

Fic tags: @icant-hangout-imdrumming, @oceaniamaddness, @multifandom-superlover

[gay-otlc]

Little Miss Perfect

Summary: Straight hair, straight A's, straight forward, straight girl

Straight hair is most beautiful. Straight A's are most successful. Straight forward is fastest. Straight girls are the most perfect. And if straight girls are the most perfect, and Biana is the most perfect, ae has to be straight. Ae doesn't get a choice.

Little miss perfect, that's me

Content warnings: Internalized homophobia, homophobia in general, cursing, mentions of abuse, mentions of eating disorders, lmk if I should add more.

Word count: 3143

(Read on AO3)

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight path, I don't cut corners

Biana Amberly Vacker is beautiful, and smart, but that's hardly a surprise. Even before ae was born, everyone knew ae would be beautiful, and smart. Ae's a Vacker, after all. Ae wakes up early to straighten aer hair and stays up late to study, so ae's tired all the time, but ae's gorgeous and ae's at the top of aer class, so does it really matter?

Ae takes life one day at a time, one step after another, because if ae slows down or turns around, everything ae's running away from might catch up with aer.

So ae doesn't do that. Biana keeps following the straight path and hopes the road ahead of aer doesn't wind too much. Make sure every step leads aer to perfection.

I make a point to be on time Head of the student council

Not only that, but Biana's on time for everything. Aer parents make sure of that, but ae probably would be even without their help- Biana likes to plan ahead. Or really, ae doesn't know for sure whether ae likes it, or if it makes ae feel trapped. But at least it saves aer the confusion and terror of an uncertain life. Whatever the reason, ae makes little notes in aer planner for all aer appointments.

And bigger notes in aer journal for the rest of aer life.

Make it through Foxfire.

Manifest an ability.

Get a respectable job.

Marry a respectable boy.

Have children.

Step four... doesn't seem so great, by which ae means downright nauseating, but that doesn't matter. What ae wants doesn't matter. And anyway, this will probably be what ae wants in the long run. Ae's just not old enough for boys yet. Plenty of time for that in the future.

Ae'll be on time for every step of aer perfect fucking life.

I don't black out at parties I jam to Paul McCartney

Biana doesn't break rules- mostly because ae's afraid of how aer father would punish aer. Either way, ae's never snuck out at night, never spent time with the classmates he said were beneath aer, never wore something he said showed too much skin, never ate more than ae was allowed to. Every single one of his rules, ae followed.

If that meant not going to Marella Redek's party because her mother was too "strange," even though everyone else was talking about how fun it would be, ae wouldn't go. Ae would just miss out. Fun.

Ae heard that at the parties, they played human music. What would that even sound like? Fitz knew- he got to go to the human world all the time, but Biana didn't. Still, after incessant begging, aer dad let aer listen to one song, by a human named Paul McCartney. It wasn't bad. Quite good, in comparison to elvin music. Still... ae wished ae could listen to more.

Of course, ae wouldn't. That would be disobeying aer dad. And ae didn't do that. She always had to be the perfect daughtaer.

If you ask me how I'm doing I'll say... Well, hmm

Lying wasn't good, of course. Ae shouldn't lie to people who asked how ae was doing.

But ae couldn't admit to being anything less than perfect.

So ae'd just mumble.

Perfect until proven otherwise.

I was adopted when I was two My parents spoiled me rotten

Okay, so Biana isn't actually adopted- but for years, ae thought ae had been. Always out of place in the perfect Vacker family, because everything comes so effortlessly to them, they're exactly what elvin society wants without any struggle at all. And ae... wasn't like that. Too loud, too argumentative, not quite ladylike enough. Not smart enough, ae needed to work harder. Not pretty enough.

Not interested in the right people.

But when ae learned to stay quiet, keep aer head down, and follow all the damn rules, aer parents seemed to like aer better. Well, Alden did. Della always appreciated aer, however quietly, slipping aer little pieces of mallowmelt behind Alden's back even when he told aer that ae had to be thinner. Whispering compliments into aer ears after Alden scolded aer so much his voice was hoarse from screaming and aers was hoarse from crying.

And when Alden was proud of aer, she would get everything ae wanted. All the pretty dresses. All the sparkles and sketchbooks and sewing kits. Trips to Atlantis or Eternalia. Anything ae wanted, to reward her for being Little Miss Perfect.

Often I ask myself, "What did I do?" To get as far as I've gotten

Some of the time- who the hell is ae kidding, it's most, if not all, of the time- Biana feels like... ae doesn't deserve aer last name, or aer popularity, or any of aer privileges in life. Mentors at Foxfire practically revere aer and aer peers bend over backwards to be liked by aer.

Ae is so fucking sick of it.

Why aer? Ae wants to scream the question at every single person who treats aer differently. Why is ae the one to get that treatment? Ae had never done anything important in aer whole fucking life, ae didn't do anything, and all this praise should go to someone far more perfect than aer.

A pretty girl walks by my locker My heart gives a flutter

Biana is, unfortunately, very well known at Foxfire, and ae thought ae knew everyone else too. But ae's never seen this girl before, because ae would know if they had. It would be impossible for past Biana to have seen this girl and not remember her.

She has dark skin, even darker than Biana's, and long dreadlocks pulled into a knot and streaked with blue. Biana thought ae was used to the beauty of elvin girls- they were all quite pretty- but this girl, holy shit, ae was not prepared to see this girl. Her flat nose and full pink lips and turquoise eyes are all so beautiful. Biana's heart pounds and flutters around her chest like it wants to fly out and meet this girl, and aer breath catches.

Maruca Chebota, as ae later learns, is perfection.

But I don't dare utter a word 'Cause that would be absurd behaviour For little miss perfect

The pretty girl continues walking, seemingly unaware that she's thrown Biana's world wobbling out of orbit. Biana wants to call out to her, to yell, to make sure she doesn't walk away and make it so that amazing high, those butterflies and awe and something ae can't even describe, seems almost like it never happened.

But there are a lot of people in the hallways, and they're already staring at aer far more intensely than what ae would describe as comfortable, ready to judge each and every thing she does. Running to catch up with a girl because she's pretty? Not normal. Not normal for any elf, but especially not aer.

Biana silently watches her turn around a corner into a different hallway and out of aer line of sight, wishing ae could have been a little less perfect. Just for one second.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na No, I can't risk falling off my throne

Dear Maruca,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been avoiding you lately. I'm sorry I can't talk to you. You haven't done anything wrong, I promise.

It's just... you're dangerous. To my heart, my... my reputation. My throne.

That's not quite true. You're not dangerous to most people. You're just dangerous to me. Maybe you're fine, and I'm just too fragile. Too imperfect.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love is something I don't even know

Dear Maruca,

What if we did love each other? Bravely. Boldly. Unapologetically.

What if I pretended it wouldn't topple me off my throne; or pretended I didn't care?

No. That's stupid. I shouldn't sacrifice all that for love.

This isn't even love, anyway. I don't know what love is, but you aren't it.

Straight hair, straight A's, straightforward Straight girl

Straight hair is most beautiful.

Straight A's are most successful.

Straight forward is fastest.

Straight girls are the most perfect.

Little miss perfect That's me

And if straight girls are the most perfect, and Biana is the most perfect, ae has to be straight.

Ae doesn't get a choice.

One night my friend stayed over We laughed, and drank and ordered

And straight girls would like Maruca, sure, but not in the way Biana does. Not in that all consuming, heart wrenching, feels like ae's floating and falling and spiraling all at once way. Just in a... a friend way. A normal way. Because the two of them would make perfect friends, and anything other than that would end in fiery disaster.

So Biana makes friends with Maruca. Friends. They talk about their Universe class, and play splotching together in PE (Maruca wins; Biana gets distracted by her braids), and horribly bake mallowmelt together. It burns.

Maruca is... fun. It's fun to be friends with Maruca. Ae invites her over to Everglen for a sleepover- Della is overjoyed that Biana is finally making friends- and they have a fun time. Playing games and talking about useless shit and going to go bother Fitz and his friend Keefe.

It doesn't need to be anything different, Biana tells aerself, again and again. It's perfect like this. It doesn't need to change.

Something about her drew me in What? It's totally platonic

Biana can't stop staring at Maruca.

She feels like gravity, a star, and ae feels like a planet. They work perfectly together, orbiting around and around and around. If Maruca smiles, Biana's mind races to solve the mystery of how exactly that smile would taste on aer lips. It tastes good, ae thinks, though that's a stupid thought.

"What are you thinking about?" Maruca asks. "You have this goofy smile on your face, and you didn't hear the story I just told."

Biana turns bright red. Of course, ae can't say I was thinking about your lips on mine, because that would sound... weird. Ae has to keep it platonic, because they'll never be anything other than platonic, and it's not like ae wants that either. Ae swallows, and finally says "You. I'm really glad we're friends."

Platonic friends. Perfect, platonic friends.

That night was so exciting Her smirks were so enticing

"Yeah, I'm an awesome friend," Maruca says, flicking one of her intricate braids. Biana's eyes linger on it a little too long.

Ae clears aer throat and quickly deflects the conversation, still blushing. "You are. Do you want to go downstairs? It smells like something's baking."

"I would be honored to go eat some of your mom's amazing desserts, m'laedy," says Maruca, extending a hand with mock formality. Her gorgeous lips are pulled into a smirk. Biana's breath catches; ae wants to freeze this mental image for eternity. Cautiously, ae takes Maruca's hand in aers.

Skin touching. Holding hands.

It's stupid, it's a cliche, but it does feel like sparks shoot across aer skin as Maruca wraps her fingers in Biana's and starts walking downstairs. Aer stomach flips around excitedly.

Then ae crashes and burns. They are friends. Both girls. Friends don't get this excited about holding other friends' hands. Biana rips aer hand away and stuffs it in aer pocket. Maruca looks a bit offended, but Biana clenches aer jaw and looks down.

It hurts, but ae has to be perfect. No exceptions.

Hours speed by like seconds Then, what happens is iconic

Once they get over the awkwardness of that moment, they slip right back into the fun they were having before. Della's ripplefluffs disappear quickly, and the two of them go back into Biana's room to keep talking. Biana shows Maruca aer sketches- ae hasn't really shown them to anyone before, Alden thinks a Vacker should have a more noble profession than designing fashion- and Maruca tells Biana that ae should dye aer hair.

Alden is going to kill aer, but for once, ae isn't thinking of that. Della would probably say yes, but the two of them decide it would be more fun to sneak out, so they light leap to Slurps And Burps as quietly as they can, in silent giggles the whole time. Maruca decides to re-dye the blue streaks in her hair, and Biana opts for violet. They go back to Biana's room and laugh more. Biana wildly thinks this is the most fun ae's ever had.

It's perfect, even if ae isn't.

She takes a sip, I bite my lip She tells a joke, I nearly choke

Aer stomach is sore from laughing, and ae still can't stop looking at Maruca. She's so pretty, something ae could stare at forever if ae had the chance. The longer ae looks, the more ae notices little details, like the way her braids fall against her shoulders, and how she has barely visible freckles splattered across her nose, and how her hand brushes against Biana's every so often. It's warm, and smooth, and perfect.

Maruca is a masterpiece of a person.

Currently, Biana's fascination lies in how her lips curl around the straw of her lushberry juice. It’s disgusting and wrong and so thrilling as Biana imagines kissing those lips.

No. Stop thinking about that, Biana commands aerself, biting aer own lip to draw aer attention away.

"Biana? Bi? You listening?"

Ae turns red. "Yeah, sorry!"

"Alright, so I was reading about cowboys, except I read it as cowgoys because it was really late, which implies the existence of Jewish cows. So then the thought 'Bar Moo-tzvah' came into my head and I can't stop thinking about it."

Biana snorts; the joke is funny enough on its own, but the cute little smile on Maruca's face and the way her eyes light up nearly make aer choke.

“Shut the fuck up, brain, let me be the perfect Vacker,” ae muters, too quietly for Maruca to hear.

She braids my hair, I sit there Blacking out for the first time

Maruca says Biana's newly violet hair looks beautiful- ae needs to fake a coughing fit to keep from squealing- and asks to braid it. Biana nods, and lets aerself get lost in the feeling of fingers weaving through aer hair and brushing against aer head.

Aer eyes close- ae doesn't know when, but the room around aer disappears and all ae can feel is fingers and this all encompassing, overwhelming love ae seems to be drowning in, blacking out everything else.

Next thing I know, I lose control I finally kiss her but oh no

Without making any conscious decision, Biana spins around, cups Maruca's face, and gently presses aer lips against hers. Their flat noses touch, eyelashes flutter against each other's cheeks, lips kissing. Kissing. It's fast, and sweet, and wonderful. Biana feels aer world aligning perfectly, like this is the way everything was meant to be, and there are fireworks shooting across aer skies.

Biana smiles against Maruca's lips.

I see a face in my window Then my brain starts to go

Everything happens at once.

Maruca yelps and pushes aer back. The door swings open, revealing a shocked Fitz. Fireworks vanish, as quickly as they came.

Biana's world shatters.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na No, you can't risk falling off your throne

Dear Maruca,

That kiss was amazing.

But it's too risky to do again.

I'm sorry.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love is something you don't even know

Dear Maruca,

What do I know about kissing? It's not like I have anything to compare it too, besides that one time I kissed Keefe on the cheek because I thought I was supposed to. No, because I wanted to. Because I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to kiss him and I didn't want to kiss you.

I don't know what kissing is supposed to feel like. Or what love is supposed to feel like.

It'll be better with a boy. It has to be better with a boy.

I'll know love eventually, and it won't be with you.

You shouldn't love me either.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na You can't risk falling off your throne

Dear Maruca,

I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you-

No.

I hate myself.

La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Love You don't even know

Dear Maruca,

Or maybe I love you.

I don't know.

I probably don't.

Because I can't love another girl, right? I have to be misunderstanding what love means if I think I can love a girl.

I don't know love. But it can't be you.

Rewind, induce amnesia Deny the truth, that's easier

Fitz tells her what to do- pretend like it never happened. That's what Alden told him when he kissed Keefe. Biana snorts humorlessly at that; two fucked up Vacker children. But ae follows his advice. Forget about it. Pretend it never happened. Never address it with Maruca; or speak to her again, really. Pretend, pretend, pretend.

Ae's been pretending aer whole life.

Life continues on, and ae pretends to be okay. Maruca makes friends with Stina, and Biana makes friends with the new girl. Sophie Foster. Sophie is nice enough, but she's not Maruca. She can't replace Maruca. No one can fucking replace Maruca, and no one should have to- ae just fucked up aer only chance with someone that wonderful. But ae pretends Sophie is enough, pretends ae's not heartbroken.

Pretends, pretends, pretends.

Pretends to be perfect.

You're just confused, believe her When she says there's nothing there

Biana talks to Maruca once.

They both apologize in the same breath.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what happened-"

"That was weird, I'm sorry-"

"I don't like you, I was just confused."

"So was I, kissing girls was just something I thought I'd try, a bit of a phase."

"No, totally, it's not like I really like girls or anything."

"Nah, that'd be weird."

They never speak again. There's nothing between them. Biana tries to believe what Maruca told aer. Ae doesn't.

“You're just confused,” ae repeats to aerself. “You're still perfect.”

It's never worth it When you're little miss perfect

Dear Maruca,

Maybe someone else can love you. Someone who doesn't have to be little miss perfect.

[ledbiantastic]

Okay, it's time for my Harrow The Ninth read through post. Spoilers, obviously. Thanks to @shakespearerants, @irascibubble, and @mayasaura for encouraging me to keep going. Enjoy!

I am on page 33 of Harrow the Ninth and I am making a prediction. I initially thought the Body referred to the dead girl in the locked tomb, but now I think it's Gideon. We'll see if I'm right.

Page 44 says it is the dead girl in the tomb, but I'm not convinced it isn't also Gideon

Gideon must be important to have to be erased from Harrow's mind like that, right?

Did Ortus the First kill/try to kill Gideon's mom? The timeline adds up, they said he messed something up nineteen years ago, Gideon was 18 in the last book and time has passed

In the weird retconned memories, after every death, or during, someone says "is this how it happens" which makes me think it's, like, Harrow's brain asking that

Who are those notes from and to? What's up with that?

I love seeing Harrow spend time with Magnus and Abigail. I liked them

If Harrow is haunted, but this is not the real version of the past, is her mind creating the ghost? Is it Gideon? I don't think Gideon would write notes like that though...

Page 291 is Ortus talking to her like she's Gideon's mother? IS HE ASKING WHY SHE BROUGHT ALONG THE BABY?

Is Ortus' cavalier more active or something? Like he doesn't remember because she takes control?

Page 315 "he had seen me" who is he and who is me? Who is narrating this to Harrowhark? Is. It. Gideon? (Later I decide it's Palamedes seeing the Sleeper, who is also narrating and is possibly Gideon. We'll see if that's right.)

Is the poster on page 318 Gideon? Is It? IS IT? But Gideon's hair didn't go down to her shoulders. Is it her mom?

Are Camilla and Coronabeth on the side of the rebellion? BOE? Is old Harrow? I KNEW IT! But I'm sad they're on different sides.

Is Ianthe the spy? Is that how she knew Coronabeth was alive?

Does the Sleeper represent the part of Harrow and/or her brain that erased her memories and it's cleaning up the debris in her psyche? OR IS IT GIDEON? AKA the DORMANT part of Harrow-as-Lyctor? When the Sleeper is unmasked, will we see Harrow or Gideon?

Did Gideon's mother start the rebellion or something? Is that why they had a poster of her? Was she Eden?

So, Canaan house was on earth then?

Did Harrow (old Harrow) tamper with her own temporal lobe? Did Mercymorn? Ianthe?

Whose idea was it for Ortus to kill her then? John? Augustine? Mercymorn? Someone else?

Did Harrow break into the locked tomb? I want to believe she did, because I support her. But if not, who is the Body?

Shit, I can't remember what color Gideon's eyes were. Page 363 when Harrow's eyes are two different colors, black and gold

Ianthe wants to marry Harrow? Weird. I don't ship it. But I'm kind of stuck on Gideon and if I wasn't, maybe.

See a man about a queen? What does it mean? What is Ianthe doing? Also love that she cursed Harrow's hair to grow extra, just to be petty.

I'm so confused by chapter 40. What the hell is going on? Why is Harrow trying to be a cavalier? The fuck? Role swapped false memory? What is even happening?

Is Harrowhark's brain just, like, randomly spit-balling while she's dying or something? Love that Abigail and Magnus seem to be aware that it's not real.

OH OH OH THAT WAS GIDEON! SERVING THE COFFEE AND MAKING HARROW BLUSH IN THE THIRD(?) FALSE MEMORY OR DREAM OR WHATEVER! I love that Abigail is NOT having this, like, no I'm not gonna watch your romance novel version unfold.

I think I've noticed that the ones who have speaking roles the weird memories are the ones who died in the last book.

Are they all taking active part in these false scenarios? All the dead from Canaan house?

Oh my god oh my god here it is she remembers and she's so sad!

So she erased Gideon to save her soul. Nope nope nope nope nope I can't. I can't deal with these feelings. Y.Y

Who the fuck is the angry spirit?!?!

Who fucking stabbed her?

IS GIDEON DRIVING HARROW'S FUCKING BODY AROUND DURING A FIGHT? HELL YES! AND THAT MEANS I WAS RIGHT THAT SHE'S NARRATING!

OH AND I PREDICT THE GHOST IS CYTHERIA!

I'm still thinking about what Harrow did. It's so sweet and so sad and she's so lonely and she didn't even know how lonely she was.

Also I'm already excited to reread this series.

Oh yeah, this is GIDEON in here, swearing up a storm and trying to use a sword.

Okay, first I'm getting emotional just from heading Gideon's voice, then I'm emotional about what it was like for her to be in Harrow's body/mind, then I'm emotional about all the things she wanted to say but didn't have time, AND THEN I'M EMOTIONAL when Gideon says why she thinks Harrow did it and I'm like baby nooooooo it was because she loved you, not because she didn't want to rely on you! Honey, baby, no!

"Harrowhark, I gave you my whole life and you didn't even want it." HARROWHARK, I GAVE YOU MY WHOLE LIFE AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT IT. 💔💔💔😟😟😟😭😭😭 Excuse me while my heart breaks.

Oh, also a bigger issue in this book is the whole concept of the afterlife? And it's messed up because of the emperor? I don't know why I wasn't prepared for that but I wasn't.

Ortus holding Harrow and pointing out that she and Gideon were neglected children is making my therapist soul ascend.

I'm such an idiot. His name wasn't Ortus, it was Gideon. He did kill Gideon's mother, that's why she shouted his name. Or they were in love? One or the other... Or both?

Harrow did a find and replace in her brain and it had unexpected consequences.

I've been leaning more and more towards the Sleeper and ghost being Cytheria.

Oh my sweet sword lesbian himbo, how I've missed you. "The sword I had to hold overhead in one hand as I used the other to keep everything inside you; stuff was coming out, Harrow, I don't know precisely what stuff because I'm not a goddamn necromancer."

Gideon is OCCUPYING HARROW'S BODY during a deadly invasion and is like, 'I'm gonna shut my eyes to reach under the shirt and get rid of encumbrances. I tried not to touch you, so don't get mad.' I feel like Harrow would be the first one to say 'do whatever you have to do to stay alive, you imbecile!'

So Mercymorn stabbed Harrow... So the heralds would eat her as a way to buy time? Was that the plan? Gideon calling her "my necromancer" made my heart do a thing.

I want to understand what she's saying about Gideon's mother. Was Gideon a science experiment? Like Kipo?

Where. THE FUCK did Cytheria get the gun?

Dulcie is *horny for revenge* Abigail is a BAMF and my new (and final?) prediction is that the Sleeper is Gideon's mom.

Gideon and Ianthe is a fun dynamic. I love how protective Gideon is, that she's mad at Ianthe for hurting Harrow's heart.

Gideon must have her mother's eyes to be freaking all the lyctors the fuck out.

"I wanted you to use me... I wanted you to live and not die... Harrow. I already gave my flesh to you, and I already gave you my end. I gave you my sword. I gave you myself. I did it while knowing I'd do it all again, without hesitation, because all I ever wanted you to do was eat me." Why am I crying? 😭😭😭😭😭 Why is this the most romantic thing when it's also full of insults and curses and is followed by a your mom joke? What a Gideon thing to do, be so romantic and gross and sassy all at once. I love her, I want to be her. Gideon forever.

Love that Ianthe also thinks Harrow got rid of Gideon because she didn't want her. /s I'm starting to worry that it's silly for me to hold onto the 'because she can't live without Gideon' explanation.'

"But Nonagesimus, you hating me always meant more than anyone else in this hot and stupid universe loving me. At least I'd had your full attention." That's why indifference is the opposite of love, hate is still passionate attention. But this also makes me feel so bad for Gideon because she deserves to be loved, dammit!

Okay, "gall on gall" is pretty hilarious. Good job Ianthe.

Love that the ghost of Matthias Nonius speaks in meter because he's been so deified by the Ninth house, and he's confused by it. It's like people in a musical being aware they're in a musical, like, why am I singing?

Ortus' poem was important after all!

Is it the sword? Does Harrow have to destroy Gideon's sword? Because that would break my heart a little.

"It bewildered her, back at Canaan House, how the whole of her always seemed to come back to Gideon. For one brief and beautiful space of time, she has welcomed it: that microcosm of eternity between forgiveness and the slow uncomprehending agony of the fall. Gideon rolling up her shirt sleeves. Gideon dappled in shadow, breaking promises. One idiot with a sword and an asymmetrical smile had proved to be Harrow's end." I just... This is so beautifully written. And describing Gideon as one idiot with a sword is so perfect and right and I just... 🖤🖤🖤😭😭😭

No no no I hate this either/or bullshit! I know I'm a sappy optimist, but I want both of them to survive, damnit! I want Harrow to be able to go back to her body without losing Gideon's soul. I want Gideon to keep existing.

What does Dulcinea know?!?!

Commander? That's Gideon's mom, right? Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity

What does that all mean? Are those Eminem lyrics? What other language is in there?

WHAT'S ALL COME OUT?

I knew she was in the sword.

Oh my god, if you need John to get in the tomb, and she was trying to get in the tomb and had something, a tool... Samples... She was armed with the baby... Is Gideon's father John? Is Gideon the fucking child of God?

She named the baby Bomb... This whole series could have been Bomb the Ninth... Bomb Nav...

Yep yep called it, child of God. The first time they put that plan in action was to get sperm to make Gideon. The second time was so Harrow could kill the first Gideon.

A dad joke?! A DAD JOKE?!

Gideon and Harrow were so cruel to each other as kids. It just makes me so sad.

Was Harrow able to get into the tomb because she made Gideon bleed?

So is Alecto John's cavalier? Annabel and Alecto... Are the same person? I'm so confused. She's the body in the locked tomb? But how is that related to her eyes being in his genes?

Wait, the eyes switched? I continue to be confused. Did he do the lyctor thing but also put a part of both him and his cavalier into the cavalier's body? But she was never human? What's going on? Why do they think she never had genes?

Oh cool, Mercy killed God and now everyone's gonna die... ... ... Ooooor not.

I love that beating up Harrow is Gideon's job AND saving Harrow is Gideon's job. Very cute.

Sooooo Gideon the OG and Pyrrha both fucked Gideon's mom... With the same body...

Gideon, such a romantic, wishing she had Harrow's name on her lips as she died. "I mean, yeah, I was thinking about you too; if I could've turned that off I would've turned it off years ago" HAHAHAHAHA You can't stop thinking about Harrow even if you want to! God, what a sweet himbo.

"Yes, well, jail for mother" says Gideon... Is she referencing Miette? Jail for mother for one thousand years!

Okay, so we have definitely confirmed that the Body is Alecto/Annabel/God's cavalier.

What did Dulcinea tell her? That Gideon is moving her body around? Doesn't she know that? Shouldn't that not be a surprise?

Okay, so, wait, what happened to Harrowhark?

ARRRRRGH I'm not smart enough for this book! Or I'm not visual enough! I know I should recognize the description of bobbed hair and "lambent" eyes but I have no idea who it is and also WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO GIDEON AND HARROWHARK?! UGH NOW I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE NEXT BOOK AND I'M GONNA BE SO IMPATIENT AND CONFUSED!

Well that was fun to reread. Impressed I got some things right, but mostly I was very wrong.

[brattyfics]

Savage

Summary: Miguel Galindo’s wife accidentally shows off her new lingerie set to Nestor and other members of the security team. Inspired by @sheeshgivemeabreak head cannon of Miguel’s significant other being seen by Nestor in her lingerie.

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Black!OC

Warnings: Some cringy use of the word savage, Miguel Galindo quoting Beyonce and Megan Thee Stallion, exhibitionism (sorta?), rough sex.

Word count: 2K+

Placing the Chanel #5 perfume on the vanity, Ava, leaned back to admire her handiwork. 

Her normally big, thick hair had been pressed and curled to perfection, falling down into beautiful barrel curls past her shoulders. Long-lashed eyes blinked back at her in the mirror, glossy, pink lips gleaming despite the low lighting. 

Ava’s eyes trailed down to her breasts, shifting and adjusting to make sure everything was perfect. A white lingerie set from Agent Provocateur’s latest line clung to soft curves. The set was see-through for the most part, exposing her chocolate nipples and brown mound. Lace frilled the edges of the bra cups and panties, completing the naughty angel look. 

Satisfied, she turned from her reflection to strap on a pair of vintage designer heels, one of many gifts from her fiance, Miguel Galindo. She spared one final look at herself in the mirror before embarking on the mission to get her man in bed.

It wasn’t unheard of for him to spend long lengths of time in his personal study, the nature of his business called for it. Ava understood, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She tried to let him work uninterrupted for the most part, but sometimes he needed to be reminded of what was waiting for him in bed.

The short silk robe that covered her body did very little to preserve her modesty, so she was extra careful when scanning the hallway for bodies. Miguel normally kept his men off the second floor. It was hard for her to adjust to having someone watching her at all times, and this compromise did give her a small semblance of normalcy.

Confident no one would see her, she crept towards the office door, wanting to maintain the element of surprise. The two of them understood that she should know everything or nothing at all. Before getting married, they agreed on full disclosure. Still, Miguel didn’t want his two worlds completely fused together. Ava could tell he didn’t like her to be in the office, but she figured she would quickly be forgiven. As soon as the ties of her robe opened, Miguel would be focused on one thing.

Ava had seen Marcus leave earlier, it was rare that he did so. Being Miguel’s advisor meant he needed to be accessible 24/7, but everyone needed a break sometimes. For that reason, Ava was confident the two of them would be alone when she twisted the door knob and entered.

As soon as the door closed behind her, her fingers went to work at undoing the silk ties, and with a quick shrug Ava let gravity do the rest. Miguel’s head lifted from his papers in just enough time to watch it hit the ground, his mouth falling open, eyes widening in surprise.

Then movement to her right caused her to shriek and stumble back into the door. It was Ava’s turn for a surprise. 

Her own mouth fell open in horror. To her right stood a stunned Nestor, who had previously been occupied with something on the bookshelf.

“Shit!”

All three of them seemed to curse at the same time. Nestor scrambled to cover his eyes, books raining down with a thud in his haste. Eventually, he managed to turn so his back was facing Ava. Miguel dropped the papers he had been holding, locking eyes with Ava, communicating without saying a word. Your ass is in big trouble, missy. 

That tore her out of the shocked, frozen trance she had been in. She spun to open the door, her palms sweaty and clumsy, making the task ten times harder. Her heels clicked against the floor as she shuffled her feet impatiently. The tops of her ears burned, the thump of her heart sounding off within them.

The door opened, but not because of Ava’s doing. Hearing the scream and thump had caused the security team to run up the stairs. 

“Shit!” She shrieked again, bending down to scoop up the silk robe. Her nipples pebbled against the thin fabric as the gust of air from the door swinging open hit her. 

Nestor took that as his opportunity to make a dash for it, Miguel right behind him to slam the door in everyone’s face with a swear.

Harsh breathing were the only sounds to be heard on their side of the door, sounds of dress shoes clicking away on the other side.

Without a doubt, this was her most embarrassing moment. Ever.

The two of them stood there, Miguel’s hands above her head on the door, trapping her against it with his body as a gate. She tried in vain to calm herself and she was sure her man was trying to do the same. Waves of anger radiated off of him, and she knew there was an epic punishment coming her way.

“I-I’m sooo sorry, babe.” She apologized, slowly turning so she was facing him. 

He reminded her of an angry bull in that moment-- full of rage with a clear (and easy) target in front of him. Unfortunately, she happened to be the target stupid enough to provoke him. His eyebrows pinched together, lips downturned in that dangerous scowl he usually reserved for employees that disappointed him. The dark look in his eyes told her to stop while she was ahead, but she felt the urge to break up some of the tension.

“I didn’t--” His hand rose, and there was no more room for explaining. She gnawed on her gloss covered bottom lip.

“You are without a doubt the most disobedient, infuriating person I’ve ever met. I deal with bikers, drug traffickers, hitmen, all kinds of fucking degenerates and yet no one manages to piss me off more than you.” His hand found its way back to her collarbone, tossing her hair back behind her shoulders.

“I give you everything. Try to treat you like the princess I know you can be, but you insist on being an insolent brat. I give you free reign of this house-- this fucking city, but you have to show up in the one place you shouldn’t. Why is that?” He leaned down to look in her eyes, fingertips ghosting over her neck until she shifted to stare up at him. 

Miguel watched, fascinated as she transformed into the most demure version of herself, one she reserved for times like this when he was really angry. Her arms left her sides to lock around his neck, batting her eyelashes in hopes of a little mercy.

“Don’t act like a good girl now.” He scoffed, enjoying the closeness despite himself. He leaned in to nibble at her neck. “We both know you’re not.” She hisses at the sting, fire back in her eyes as if she was telling him she would bite back.

“You’re a bad bitch, right? A savage— or whatever that damn song you’re always singing says, right? So act like it.” He always acted as if he was annoyed by her mini-concerts, but she knew he was secretly her biggest fan. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing out loud. He didn’t allow her amusement to distract him. “Get on your knees. Now.”

Back in submissive character, she dropped to her knees.

“Now you listen.” He tsks, hands moving to unbuckle his pants. “Probably because you think there’s something in it for you. Sucking cock is your favorite pastime. Isn’t that right, sucia? You get off on being on your knees but I can promise you, this isn’t for your pleasure.” 

Ava tried her best to look disappointed. No matter what he said, there absolutely was something in it for her. They both knew it. She resisted the urge to help him undress and instead watched him, resting her weight on the backs of her legs. He finally stepped out of his dress pants and underwear, tossing them to the side.

He stood in front of her, stroking his thick cock in her face. Her eyes watched him stroke, back and forth, milking it until precum puddled around the tip. She leaned forward, her lips puckered to give it a kiss, only to be pushed back into position. 

Ava gave him a cross look. “Don’t look at me like that. You don’t decide. I do. It’s time you learned that.” She felt hypnotized as he continued to pump his hard dick. She felt like a puppy, eager, desperately wanting to drool and wag her tongue. Her eyes darted back and forth between his beautiful brown dick and his face, squirming and shifting her knees.

“Open your mouth.” She presented her long, pink tongue to him.

He teased her with the tip at the opening of her mouth, tapping it on her tongue. She begged him with her eyes to continue. 

“Take it as deep as you can.” He used that firm tone that always made her pussy throb, the fat tip invading her mouth. She sighed in relief, her tongue softly massaging the bottom of his dick as she struggled to take it all with no build-up. When he hit the back of her throat, her eyes closed, concentrating on controlling her gag reflex.

He withdrew from her mouth, causing her eyes to snap open. “Look at me while you suck my dick.” Ava nodded in understanding, letting the storm brewing in his eyes egg her on. She let him feed her dick, her eyes trained on his.

More often than not, Miguel was soft with her. She was always mi amor or bebita, perched in his lap while he read the newspaper or holding his hand across the table while they breakfast. He loved to shower her with expensive gifts and lavish trips. In return, she was his oasis. She navigated the duality of her complex man with grace, always managing to be exactly what he needed. Still, she lived for the moments where she could get under his skin.

He groaned as he watched her gag around his dick, water welling up in her pretty eyes. She pushed herself further, thick lips moving up and down his length. Her face alone could do him in-- but the looks she gave, the sounds she made, the way she expressed her love all over his dick had him ready to melt. He could barely breathe from trying to hold his moans in, stroking the top of her head with affection.

Her hands went up to rest on the tops of his legs as she throated him to the best of her ability, moaning and making it as wet as she could. Tasting him, breathing him in, swallowing him, and looking at him all at once overwhelmed her. Her panties flooded, eyes fluttering closed again.

She heard the sound ricocheting off her ass before she felt the sting, hands going back soothe her ass cheek with a whimper. Her mouth fell open in surprise.

“Did I tell you to close your eyes?” 

“No, sir.”

Miguel’s hand gripped her neck firmly.

“Did I tell you to take my dick out of your mouth?”

Another negative. “No--”

“You can’t do anything right.” Her eyebrows pulled together, lips falling into a pout. “Don’t worry, princesa, I’ll do it for you.”

He guided her by the neck, pushing her back towards the door, reaching down to pull her legs from under her, so her head could rest flush against it. The only way his dick would leave her mouth would be if he took it out. 

He used her mouth like a pussy, pumping in and out to soothe his temper. Ava was sure to maintain eye contact this time, even as spit dribbled out of her mouth onto his dick and down her chin. Down it went and Miguel didn’t let up, watching it spill between the valley of her breasts. 

She tracked his eyes, reaching up to pull down her bra straps to free her breasts. He could see the mischief in her eyes as she jiggled them at him.

He slapped her hands away with a grunt, replacing them with his own. He tugged on each nipple, loving the feeling of her moaning around his dick.

Her drenched panties clung uncomfortably to her womanhood. She needed him to take his frustration out on her pussy next.

Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes, but she refused to look away, telling him with her eyes how much she wanted his release. I want that big load so bad. Come all down my throat, daddy. Feed your princess. 

Miguel cursed under his breath, thrusts faltering as he looked up to the ceiling. Relishing in his moment of weakness, she hummed around his length. “Fuck…” He pulled out immediately. “Get up.” He grabbed her up by her shoulders, spinning her so she faced the door. 

He clawed at her panties like a lion with its prey. The mushroom tip poked at her entrance, further coating the tip in the moisture. “You’re so fucking wet.” He slid himself between her fat lips, trying to prepare himself before he came prematurely. 

Ava jumped forward when his tip met her clit. “Stop moving.” He hissed as she rocked back against him, begging to be put out of her misery. His hand rained down smacks in retaliation.

She tired, but couldn’t stop her wiggling, desperately needing relief. She felt near tears. “Please.” She whined.

With a forceful thrust in, he knocked the wind out of her, giving her no time to adjust. “So fucking hardheaded.” Ava bit her lip, turning to look at him only to find his eyes focused on her ass, watching it ripple with each thrust in. 

“Fuck me.” She whimpered, using the door for leverage to push back against him. Ava fucked him the way he liked, making it nasty while looking at him innocently. “I’m sorry for being bad, daddy. I wanna be your good girl again. I wanna be daddy’s princess--” His hand came up to cover her mouth, silencing her before she made him bust. 

“Shut. Up.” He breathed harshly, whispering dirty words in her ear. “Just do your job and fuck me. Shake that fat ass.” No, you do your job and fuck me. She couldn’t talk so she licked the palm of his hand in retaliation.

He rained down slaps on her ass until he could see a red undertone on her brown skin. 

She wailed his name and he did his best to muffle her screams, but there was no doubt everyone in the house knew what they were up to.

“You want everyone to hear you being a desperate slut?” He pounded into her, no longer caring about the sound of her hips thudding against the door. “You’re the most cock-hungry bitch I ever met. You don’t care who knows as long as I pound you the way you like, baby?” 

She tried to deny his accusation, shaking her head. There was always someone around to watch their backs so being heard and occasionally walked in on didn’t bother either of them much. 

But men that worked for Miguel, amongst them his very best friend had seen his wife practically naked. He poured his anger into every stroke, pulling on her hair until it rested on his shoulder. His fingers snaked down to massage her soaking clit, sending her over the edge. 

“Fuckkkkkkkkkk.” She cried out as he continued his assault, more frenzied than ever in his movements. Her legs shook as she tried to remain upright, her pussy walls clenching and pulling him in even deeper. 

“Fuckkkk.” He groaned his own release, strokes slowing as he filled her pussy. 

Ava’s head fell forward out of exhaustion but before she could lose her balance, his arms wrapped around her midsection. He pulled her into him, peppering kisses on her neck, behind her ear, and finally in her fruity smelling hair. 

Even as he held her up soothing her, Ava worried he would hold onto his anger as he sometimes did because of pride. Her worries dissipated when he spoke. 

“I’m definitely the savage in the relationship.”

[minijenn]

Keys to the Kingdom Preview 2

Anyway here's a little more from this chapter because I'm having a wonderful time writing Sora interacting with the Mystery Twins so I had to show some off to ya'll. Enjoy some cute shit for a change!

***

“Hiya!” the girl greets Sora happily, largely ignoring her brother’s attempt at pulling her away. “I’m Mabel, but if you’d like, you can call me the girl of your dreams.”

Despite his best efforts, Sora is unable to hold back a small snort of a laugh at this attempt at what he can only assume to be innocent flirting. “It’s… nice to meet you, Mabel,” he smiles, leaning down a bit to be on face level with both twins. “My name is Sora.” His smile widens a bit as he extends a hand out for the twins to shake, all while forgetting what his hand currently looks like.

“W-what the-?!” the boy gasps, his grip on Mabel’s arm tightening as he stares at the sharp claws only inches away from them.

“Oh! Sorry!” Sora exclaims, quickly pulling his hand away from the pair. “I-I… um… I’m…” he stammers, unsure of how to explain as he simply shoves his hands into his pockets while muttering another awkward apology instead. “Sorry…”

“What are you sorry for?” Mabel asks, raising a confused eyebrow. That confusion soon shifts back into excitement however as she happens to take notice of Sora’s now abnormally sharp teeth. “Oh my gosh! Claws and fangs!? This just keeps getting better! Are you a werewolf? A vampire? A werepire?!”

“Ok, seriously, Mabel, can you stop being boy crazy for like two seconds?” the boy scoffs, beyond disgruntled by this point.

“Pfft, never,” Mabel turns her nose up at him before offering Sora another small, spritely grin. “You’re gonna have to excuse my party-pooper of a brother here. My specialty is friendly smiles, while Dipper’s specialty is grumpy scowls.”

“Tch, is not,” the boy--Dipper, apparently--crosses his arms, his expression set in, unsurprisingly a grumpy scowl.

“Is too!” Mabel counters, sticking her tongue out at her brother.

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Ok, ok, you two,” Sora cuts in as he stands, letting out something of an amused chuckle. “I just got rid of those Nobodies, I don’t wanna have to break up another fight.”

“Nobodies?” Dipper inquires, eyeing Sora suspiciously.

“Those monsters that were attacking you guys,” Sora explains. “That’s what they’re called. I’ve fought them a few times before--many times before, actually.”

“Well, we’ve never seen any monsters like that around here before,” Dipper huffs, pulling out his book again to jot a few notes down in it. “Which is weird since Gravity Falls is basically a hotspot for all kinds of monsters.”

“Gravity Falls…” Sora mutters, remembering Bill saying that before. “Is that… what this place is called?”

“Um, yeah?” Dipper glances up from his book. “How do you not already know that?”

“Oh, well, uh… I-I’ve been… wandering around for the past few days,” Sora explains as simply as he can. “I don’t really have a map or anything like that so… I must have lost track of where I am?”

“Ohhh, so that’s why your clothes are all torn and dirty!” Mabel infers. “Don’t worry, it's a fun look! You totally pull it off; same with the hood. It makes you look all tall, dark, mysterious, and handsome!”

[cjstalkingstarwarsagain]

hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)

i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,

well start with rogue one!!

shit that made me giggle

"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."

everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.

i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.

so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.

i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 

stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense

why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.

saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.

that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.

video game cut scene style general tarkin

bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day

how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.

why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.

since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.

when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??

my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.

can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.

absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.

DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??

final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.

just cool shit,,, you know the vibe

DEATH TROOPERS

krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.

i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.

it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".

there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.

i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)

when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.

chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it

"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.

seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.

K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.

"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"

jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment “i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,

i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.

i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.

i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)

the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.

it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?

cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.

"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do

i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.

i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.

ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS

okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.

i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.

i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.

THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.

fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.

i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.

i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.

hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.

chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.

terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀｀)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH

krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,

any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit

the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT

jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??

in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.

i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.

no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.

i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.

fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))

[internalsealpanic]

Fabulous Friday Evenings

Summary: You were having a really bad day.  Conner decides to help cheer you up and make sure your drunk ass doesn’t face plant on the side walk.

masterlist 

word count:  2,652

a/n: Special thanks to @anothertimdrakestan for helping with the ending and helping with editing! Love you, Elle!

warnings: alcohol and swearing and author does not know how alcohol works.  No one is under the drinking age. This may benefit from more editing. 

"Mosht people are jusht the careful scaffolding of complexshesh," you slurred, your face red, head half buried in your arms, and golden ear cuffs winking under the dim bar lights.

"You somehow still sound like a fucking nerd even you're when drunk," Conner laughed throwing his head back, handsome face stretched with a cheeky smile.  "You look like a mess," he said softly, reaching out for your cheek.

"Fuhk you! Not eberyone can be born too pretty for their own guhd- how did yah evehn know I was here? It was Tim wasn't it! "

"Good guess buuuut it was actually Bart" Conner explained casually taking a seat next to you as you lifted your head momentarily before plopping it back down to stare at the amber gloss of the drink. The light from the ceiling seemed to dance so elegantly in your eyes even as you wrinkled your brows. "That rat," you cursed miserably into your arm. 

Across from you, a pretty brunette shot you two a wink and without looking you could tell Conner flirted in kind. Normally, you'd have the audacity to steal the girl's attention away before Conner could even make a proper move but tonight you were in absolutely no mood to be charming. In fact, you were sloshed. You didn't know whether it was the fourth or fifth drink that did it but there you were sitting next to one of the most attractive people he knew with your makeup smeared and  eyes still swollen and puffy. You kind of just want a portal to open up and swallow you.

 The brunette made a motion to her friends which indicated that she was gonna try her luck and you wished her the best of luck. You bit your soft lips before pressing them into a pout. It took everything in Conner not to kiss you on the spot. Be the responsible one they said. It would be fun, they said. 

"We should go. You're-"

"Have fun," you said, patting him on the shoulder, cutting him off curtly; placing some cash on the bar before leaving. The buxom brunette approached Conner placing a hand on the shoulder you’d just touched moments before. He didn’t seem to notice her, his mind still lingering on the warmth of your hand.  Before she can say anything, he pivots and runs towards you .

The casual slump in your shoulders in place of your usual elegance was a pretty good indication that you would probably fall in a gutter before you got home. Conner highly doubted  you could see straight. 

"I can’t believe Roz let you get this sloshed without checking on you," He joked bringing one of your arms over his shoulder and slinging his own arm around you for balance. You walked like a newborn horse. It was incredibly embarrassing and you wanted to die. Conner, on the other hand, just found it incredibly hilarious.

 "She's out getting into her own brand of sloshed at a bachelorette party,"

"Huh. Didn't know she was the wedding type. Thought she hated going to those,"

"She's the stripper," You deadpanned, sounding abnormally sober.  With that Conner let out a genuinely hearty laugh. You would trade all the martinis, dackories, and margaritas in the world just to get drunk on that laugh. 

"That reminds me," Conner drawled, adjusting his hold feeling just how shaky you were from the late October Metropolis weather pressing you closer to his warm body. You kind of wanted to melt into his side but you had too much pride. "Bart never said why you were out here getting shit faced," You frowned at him but couldn't really muster any sharpness into your expression.

 There were lots of reasons to get 'shit faced' even in shiny Metropolis. You twitched your nose and mouth side to side gathering the makings of a sentence. Where do you even start? Your little sister got suspended, your mother (who somehow found out you were in Metropolis) is either demanding money or for you to drop everything to go back home to help around the house (translation: help out with the bills while babysitting your siblings), Bats and some other league members were on your ass for the last mission (probably the only thing on this list you found reasonable),  this morning, you got fired from your library job so they could hire Marco's girlfriend (who is in fact a perfectly nice person which means you can't really hate her), or the dozens of little annoyances such as Bart not being able to keep his trap shut. 

"This week was just a little much," 

A long moment of silence passes between you. Uncharacteristic for Conner but it was cute that he thought silence would make you fess up. 

"You know I could have gone home on my own. That brunette looked like she was up for a good time," 

"Yeah right. Also you're welcome." 

"You're right. Thank you for getting blue balled this fine evening to escort me" you didn't want to be prickly but Conner was being too nice and that made your skin crawl. Why couldn’t he be mean to you right now like a normal person? 

"First off, she wasn't even my type-" You raised a brow. 

"Kon, her tits were the size of Jupiter-" 

"Did you really  just say 'tits'?" 

You threw him a scowl clearly sobering up from irritation.

"Shut up. Point iiiis, you didn't have to-"

"You just said-"

"Oh for the love of- yes, I said tits. Speaking of which you should be staring at some instead of having to lug my sorry ass around on this fabulous Friday evening."  Your hand fluttering, gesturing vaguely in the air.

"Eh. There'll be other Fridays" Kon shrugged.  Pulling you closer and some selfish part of you felt relieved. 

----------

Much to your surprise (you really ought not to be), Roz wasn't home yet which meant you had to dig out the keys from the secret hiding spot- another hassle. You reached out peeling a hilariously well concealed hole in the wall and fished out the set of jingling keys. Conner looked like he was between amusement and bewilderment. Good enough.  At least, this stopped Conner's 30 minute TED Talk about the new 70s sitcom he'd found. 

You two entered the shoe box apartment clumsily thanks to your disastrous limbs. 

You blew out a breath and muttered a thanks as Conner helped you plop onto the couch.  Though, it was more like gravity decided to magnetize your body to the couch and Conner just let it happen. 

You shut his eyes for a moment wrapping a ragged blanket around you. You made a mental note to raid the thrift store for a new one. Preferably one void of holes. 

"So what's up and don't you dare say it was nothing. I've never seen you this hammered before," He said handing you a mug of steaming hot chocolate. 

"Does it occur to you that I might get hammered like this often and you might just not see it? Who knows maybe I'm actually a functional alcoholic?" 

"Ok, first off, you are barely functional. Second, that might be your weakest deflection yet.  Try again," 

"Ok... did it occur-" 

"I didn't mean it lite- just tell me what happened. Everyone's worried," 

You stared at the steam rising from the fresh cup of cocoa. It was none of Conner's business. It was no one’s business.  Your friends were too goddamn nice. Blowing out another breath, you said "You might wanna sit down too," 

Conner takes his own mug of hot cocoa and sits next to you because for some reason eye contact made you a better liar and Conner for all his dumb decisions wasn't gonna let  you off the hook that easily.  You shifted uncomfortably and muttered about either Cassie or Roz ratting you out. He assumed it was the eye contact thing. Conner felt a little offended. He might not be Tim but he’s smart enough to figure it out on his own. Despite his hurt feelings and bruised ego, he decided to table that and focus on the current issue or, likely, issues.

 "Do you want it in alphabetical order?" 

"Please tell me you can actually do that," Conner teased with a wide grin. You couldn’t fight off a smile forming on your face. "Sadly, I am not Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne. My brain cells work like a normal person's,"

"Didn't you die?" 

"Death only fixes stupid when you stay dead. You've seen Red Hood and whichever other Ex-Robin has been to the pearly gates,"

"You say that as if Jason wouldn't tell the big man to fuck off," 

You blinked and turned your head up to the ceiling. "Ok that's true," You conceded, your mouth twitching rapidly from side to side making you look like an exasperated rabbit.  Cute.

"So what's up?" 

 All the good mood from the past few minutes dissipated in an instant. You looked down solemnly at the still steaming mug. You were silent for what felt like an eternity. 

 "It's family- Immediate.  And the source of all evil-"  

 "Lex Corp?" 

You snorted a shy tired smile cracked across your face.  You shook your head. Those little gestures just make Conner feel a little warmer. You, on the other hand, cursed at how easily Conner could make you laugh. You were  supposed to be sad damn it. 

"Money," Conner knew immediate family was always a sore spot for you. No one knew the specifics except Roz but that was inevitable when you're cousins.  Money was also a sore spot and based on your near dead tone. You’ve either lost a lot of it or you’re in a tight spot but not ready to elaborate. 

"Wanna try buying a lottery ticket?"

"What?"

"Who knows you might get lucky?" 

"You could have gotten lucky you if you-" 

"Are you seriously gonna keep bringing that up?" 

"Yes, most likely. Depends," 

"On what?!" 

"On whether I can think of something funnier to give you shit about or if you can convince me-whatever the fuck you're thinking of doing stop!"Conner's cheeky grin did not disappear nor did the faint flush on your cheeks. 

"I wasn't thinking of anything, you sick pervert" he laughed. You really should have been exasperated with Conner. You tried damn it. You looked at him skeptically before violently letting his head rest on Conner’s shoulder causing the other boy to fall over. 

"Aaaaaaawwwww babe , if you wanted to cuddle you could have just said so," 

You wanted to. In fact,  both of you wanted to. But unfortunately neither of you were martian and neither of you was willing to say jack.  You closed your eyes trying to pretend Conner wasn't a little shit. Conner radiated too much smug for that though. 

"Shut up," You mumbled into Conner's shoulder already feeling sleep pull him under. You clung to him. Maybe just for tonight you can indulge in this. Just for a little while you can cling to Conner's warmth. Maybe in the morning your head will ache too much to remember this. Waking up alone wouldn't be too painful then. Hopefully. 

---------------

You woke up feeling like a troop of Can Caning hippos decided to host a live performance all over your head. You sighed remembering that you had in fact run out of Aspirin just days before so you decided on just lying there and praying that Roz also needed Aspirin and  had more energy to run to the store. 

You settled in nuzzling in to the warm- 

Wait. It was October. 

Nothing in the apartment should be warm. 

NOTHING. 

Then, you heard it.  A LOUD snore. It honestly sounded more like the roar of an engine than anything.  Everything else followed. The slow rising and falling of the chest beneath you, the press of stubble against your forehead, and the strong arms loosely wrapped around you. 

Yeah. You died again. Yeah. You finally went to heaven. Yup. You were ok with that. You were  definitely 100% A Ok with this if this was heaven. Being held tenderly by the guy you liked while you got a good night’s sleep was definitely heaven. God, you were such a sap.  

How the hell you missed all of that baffled you.

 Oh wait. Dancing hippos. Fuck. 

Your head felt like it was threatening to crack open but somehow you honestly could not mind even if you tried. You were  laying on top of a hot (literally and metaphorically) guy mutually cuddling. You nuzzled into the junction between Conner’s neck and shoulder in an attempt to steal more warmth. Sure, you were probably gonna go deaf from the snoring. Sure, you were definitely irritated by the stubble pressed against your face. And sure, you would probably die of embarrassment once Conner woke up. You could worry about all that later. All you could think about was how nicely your arms fit around Conner’s neck and how Conner’s arms wrap around you a little tighter in return. 

Click. 

Click. 

You could hear the distinct sound of your own camera shutter. Each sound chipped away at your peace of mind. You lifted your head only to see Roz holding your camera. 

TAKING PICTURES. 

Your cousin was nothing if not a petty opportunist. 

“I would tell you to get a room buuuut the only bedroom iiiiis preeeeeeetty occupied,” Roz drawled  smugly way too pleased with herself. You opened his mouth to ask but you’d already made the mistake of walking in on Roz and a guest once and you were  pretty sure you needed more therapy for that than you did for your murder. You just sighed as Roz took another picture.

“Come on, (y/n), smile a little,”

“I’m not smiling for your blackmail material,”

Roz gasped trying to sound scandalized. She failed, only sounding amused beyond belief. “It’s only blackmail if you’re ashamed of it. Personally, I think you’re scoring big time,”

“Roz please just fuck off before you wake him up,”

“Too fuckin’ late for that. He’s been awake for awhile,” 

You could  feel Conner smiling into your hair and his arms wrap around you  a little tighter. You tried to straighten up. To tower over him. To look intimidating. 

But…. you couldn’t. You were kind of trapped because, yanno,  super strength.

 You were seething and threw a scowl at Conner who only chuckled at you in response.  

“You’re never gonna let me live this down, are you?” You snarled, clearly exasperated and feeling the hippos start their encore performance. 

“ Mmmmmm, it depends,” Nope. The hippos did not only come back for an encore. They brought friends. Based on the absolutely smug look on Conner’s face, you were in for an entire parade. 

You let out a breath not sure if you wanted to play this game but not really seeing any other options.  “On what?“

Conner paused and hummed and hummed and hummed some more as if he was actually thinking but you knew from the crook of his lips that he had this planned out. Maybe not this exact scenario but something close“Go out on a date with me,”

You blinked then rolled your eyes theatrically enough that your head rolled along with it.   “And be seen with you in public?” You teased, an almost sheepish smile tugging at your features.

Yeah, Conner wasn’t exactly expecting you to say yes.

 “Yeah. Sure. Why not?” You said playing it off as casually as possible but you couldn’t help but mirror the absolutely goofy grin plastered on Conner’s face.  His happiness was infectious. You felt weightless. It was probably the fact that you were floating with him but you were pretty sure you were just on cloud nine. You were doomed. Definitely, inevitable, indubitably doomed. Even though everything has been shit up to now. The happiness radiating off of Conner was enough to make everything feel a little better.  

Thank you so much for reading!

tag list: 

@idkmanicantenglish

@batarella (I thought you might like it?)

[adinosaurnamedmittens]

Alright so I can’t stop thinking of RVB Zero and how much potential it has so I wanna rework it a bit to work better.

So first I’m gonna talk about the new characters and what I’d change before breaking down the individual episodes for critique and suggested rewrites. At this point, I’ve only seen up to episode 4, Encounter. So spoilers till that ep. 

West - Honestly great! He doesn’t have a ton of character, but what he has is solid. He works very well as the gruff, no-nonsense leader who’s a tiny bit of a dad.

Raymond - Also great! He’s the most classic RVB character, as he’s an underdog who’s not the best at fighting, but has a lot of heart. My fav new character, right next to Tiny.

One - I want to change her to 2nd in command and drop the whole “can’t work within a team” thing. Keep the confidence and slight rudeness, but drop all the lines referencing anti-teamwork. It hasn’t factored into the story so far, One has been successfully working as part of the team for all the episodes. This would make her dynamic with Axel more interesting, being in a higher position of power. Especially considering how her healthy relationship with her dad contrasts with East and West’s relationship. This would reinforce the tension with East, since One now has an actual position of power over her. Also, she should have the exact same powers as Zero, but maybe less powerful. This would help foreshadow that reveal, and help us understand how the enhancements work. While One is a bit of a shit, and thinks she knows best, she’s willing to take the fall when her ideas fail or get them in trouble.

Axel - Imma be honest: totally forgot he was One’s adopted dad until I rewatched the episodes prepping for this. You could drop it totally, as it gets a bit redundant with West and East’s relationship, but I think there’s more fun in working with it. Also, if One’s 2nd in command and Axel isn’t insecure about it at all? Instantly makes him a more likable guy. I also think he parallels to Wash very well (bit of a kid at heart, weapons guy, team dad, emotional heart) so we’re gonna expand on that too.

East - Her and One’s relationship is the driving force of conflict within the strike team. With the changes made to One, East can stay pretty much unchanged. Before they were too similar. Now, with One being abrasive but willing to work together, and East being more reserved and distant, they’re great foils for each other. Also she parallels early Carolina, which I love (speed is her ability, prefers working alone, competitive as hell, dad runs team)

Villains: On characterization, they’re all good! Villains are allowed to be a bit more shallow, and they all seem to have understandable motives for what they’re doing: Zero wants revenge and power, Phase wants revenge especially against West, and Diesel just seems like he’s having fun. I do want to change Zero’s power tho, with Phase already having a teleport with a cool gimmick, and Diesel having a strength/tank ability, Zero should have a unique ability. Maybe gravity because of the sword? It would allow him some cool movement tricks while still being visually distinct from Diesel and Phase’s abilities. Or something inspired by his “ghost” line from Duo.

EP 1: Viper

The Good: The introduction to the villains and their abilities was amazing. I love Phase’s knife and it’s honestly one of the coolest things I’ve seen in the show. And the intro to the Strike team? Hilarious. Great character work. You can tell that One and Axel are close, that Raymond is hesitant and new, East and One have a very competitive relationship, and West is the tough love dad.

The Bad: Don’t violate the 180 camera rule. The intro fight scene was cool, but the camera moved way too much and made it hard to keep track of everything happening. And with the new, shiny art style we need a bit more time to absorb what’s happening since the detail level went up. Also y’all healed Wash’s brain damage with a throwaway line, and then immediately fridged him? Not cool. I mean, if you wanted to show how tough the villains are, you already had them beat up Carolina.

Story Changes: - Zero gets name dropped this ep so we get a scene next ep where Axel recognizes his name. - Either replace Wash with a high ranking soldier and completely scrub him from the episode, or give a different reason why he can’t help, maybe exactly Carolina’s reason of “you’re recovering”. I’m not committing to totally removing Wash bc in Recovery Carolina’s line of “That I-that we thought was a medium risk asset” hints that Wash knew exactly what they were carrying and I’m excited to see where they take that. - Mainly I want scenes of Wash talking to Axel and expanding on his characterization as they are both Nice Boys Who Have Been Through It. - I also think a scene after we meet Strike where Axel asks Raymond “You like riding with East?” and Ray goes “You two stuck me with her on purpose!” and One goes “Yup!” all cheerfully. Just reinforce those team dynamics and friendships before it goes to shit!

EP 2: Recovery

The Good: The garage scene was perfect. Tiny is amazing, love her so much! And Axel got such great characterization during this ep. What a dork. West and Raymond also work super well together, their interactions are great.

The Bad:You know it’s a problem when the villains have a better dynamic than the heroes. The scene where Carolina explains all the strike member’s abilities and personalities? Bad. Also a little OOC for her. And redundant, since we also get Raymond asking West about East, and Axel’s explanation of the girls to Carolina.

Story Changes: - Have Axel, the emotional heart, waiting outside the recovery room for Carolina. Honestly, this isn’t that big, but I think it’d suit his character. - Carolina’s exposition is changed to solely history and abilities, no commenting on their personalities. Maybe East gets a little “has shown difficulty in working with others” but that’s it. The physical acting for these scenes really shines through, so let it stand alone. Even watching without sound, you can pick up that West is a no-nonsense leader, that Axel isn’t a flashy fighter but gets the job done, that East is fairly young and doesn’t take fighting seriously, and that One is willing to leave others behind if she thinks she can do it better. - For Carolina’s convo with One this ep about her “not willing to work on a team” either swap One with East or change it to “you need to listen to your team more. Don’t assume that you immediately now what’s best” - At the end of training, when Axel says “the guards were priority #1″ One should say “I knew you could handle it.” and Axel could respond with “Well, it’d be nice if you let me know that.” to show that One can work well as 2nd in command, but needs to communicate and stop assuming things. -Also should change Axel’s warning line about her enhancements to “Don’t push yourself. Remember what happened last time?” to enforce that this is a habit, and that while he cares about her, he’s not trying to boss her around as much. -Don’t reveal that East is West’s daughter until Raymond and West talk. That way, there’s a bit more emotional weight, and Ray’s line of “I was digging through the team files” makes more sense if Carolina doesn’t drop that info in the previous scene. - When Axel talks about the experiments East went through, he should mention that he was there for some of them. Dropping more foreshadowing for the Axel/Zero reveal! - Carolina drops Zero’s name in their convo, and we get a shot of Axel’s hand tightening on his weapon, showing the audience that the name means something to him, but we don’t know why.

EP 3: Duo

The Good: First 3rd of the ep? Really good. I love One being rude to Carolina, and then gaining a grudging respect. West and Raymond are, again, the best dynamic. How? I honestly have no idea. The car looks so stupid in the funniest way, I hate it but I love it. Also god yes Axel and Zero’s relationship is so wholesome and could be the best thing in this season. One’s warning call to the facility? The funniest shit. And Zero’s dialogue is hella cliched, but it works bc he’s obv such a dramatic bitch.

The Bad: HOLY HELL THE DIALOGUE. First, One and East’s fight? garbage. Very forced. Super hard to believe these two are real people. Carolina and West literally repeat the exact same line, less than 5 seconds apart. The dishwasher joke West makes does NOT at all work, it’s too tonally dissonant.

Story Changes: - Obv. need to change One and East’s convo. End it with “Without your power, you wouldn’t even be on this team!” East should storm off or almost attack One, requiring Axel to diffuse. - It’d also be really nice to get a line where One acknowledges that she went too far with that, but puts off apologizing to East. It’d be a nod that she’s good at reflecting and assessing, but too proud to actually take her words back. - I’d like to make Raymond more panicked when they find Wash. It’d help sell that he’s in bad shape and add more weight to “He’s got a heartbeat!” - Maybe re-work Phase and Zero’s conversation a bit. The dialogue is definitely not this season’s strong suit. - Pull Carolina’s “I’m just trying to help, East.” since it’s more impactful for East to storm off immediately and West says the line a couple seconds later. And change East’s dialogue to “You may be my CO, but don’t try to be my dad. Not after what you’ve done.” Or something similar. - For the dishwasher gag in the meeting, either pull it or double down. It’d work so much better if someone asks “Are you serious about this? Aren’t there more important things to discuss?” and West just deadpans. “This is of the upmost importance. If we can’t keep this base clean, how can we be expected to do anything else?!” and then Carolina clears her throat super loud and West goes “...Right. Rookie? Take it from here.” - Rework the “Carolina stay behind” dialogue. Even just a “Carolina. You’re still recovering. If you get hurt again, it’ll just be longer till you can take these bastards down. Keep an eye on Wash, will you?” I just couldn’t get behind the wording of “we need you here. With wash” It sounds like every cliched “woman must stay behind while the manly men save everyone!” Might be personal preference but just ew. - Add a scene where One notices Axel being a bit off (bc he’s worried about Zero being a part of the bad guy team) and she asks if he’s okay. He brushes her off, says its nothing. She goes “alright, i trust you.” - Maybe make the flashback a bit more apparent? There was a moment in the middle where I questioned whether or not it was a flashback. Again, could be a me problem.

EP 4: Encounter

The Good: The fight scenes continue to be absolute standouts. The varied environments, the movement, the dynamics on point. Wish we could’ve saw a bit more from Axel, but as is the scene worked well. The framing of the ep was good too, cutting between the mission and the fallout. And Ray, resident coward, immediately squaring up without a thought after West got injured? *chef’s kiss*. THAT is good character development. THAT is an amazing way to establish their relationship without telling us outright. Go feral, my boy! And Tiny and Raymond’s convo was so cute. I love how, despite what he says, Ray is there for his team and always willing to help. Carolina and One’s convo was also pretty decent. It got a bit long and over-explainy on Carolina’s end, but there were some pretty good moments.

The Bad: The fight after the mission failure was SO over-acted. Too much motion, to many camera angles. It changed what should have been tense arguments to hilarious melodrama. This has been a consistent problem, but it REALLY affects this scene in particular. And the second Axel enters the scene it just immediately goes downhill.

Story Changes: - Add a line from West in the beginning scene like “I’ll cut them off!” to explain why he isn’t in the car too. This also means it’s not as out-of-nowhere when West shows up to trash the car. - One should call out Axel instead of East. If she’s his daughter, she should be able to tell when he’s acting off. And she would have an easier time connecting the dots between Axel and Zero. - Instead of “I trusted you.” One should say “You lied to me.” 1) He’s her dad. One lie isn’t gonna break her total trust. 2) This would imply it’s the first time he’s lied to her, adding more weight to the whole situation 3) It’s way more accusatory and less cliched (if only a bit) - Add in a “One, wait!” bc I am a sucker for it and we could hear the guilt in his voice, rather than the weird scene where the girls make him spin around by bumping into him. - It’d also be nice if Ray stayed back for a bit before leaving, so we got a bit of his feelings on the matter. I mean, obviously he cares a lot about West, but does he blame Axel for not being there to help? It’d be nice to know!

TL;DR The best parts of the episodes are the fight scenes, and when they focus on the fun team dynamics. The worst parts are dialogue (mostly the serious bits) and over-animating, as this takes away from the drama.

I don’t mind the cheesy villains, but that may not be the case for everyone.

The best part of RVB has always been the rag-tag found family dynamics. While the fight scenes are cool, they have always been supplemental to the real meat of the show. The writers are trying something new with the whole “actual family” but you have got to focus on and develop these relationships if you want fans to care.

Mostly, I see a lot of potential in these characters, but there are GLARING issues in this season that are holding them back.

[seiya234]

and all the trees of the field will clap their hands, 1/?

oh hey look a new multi-chaptered fic. as always, I blame @marypsue.  Very important note! This particular chapter is rated R for some gentle descriptions of married middle aged people having sex in the woods. If you want to skip that, it is in the last third of the chapter and has mostly little to do with the plot. 

---

There are three ways this story begins: the short way, the medium way, and the long way.

—————————————

The short way was one day in the dying days of autumn, Stan got a call from Ford, who was on the Atlantic right now and headed towards New Jersey and

“Have the children ever been to New Jersey? To Glass Shard Beach?”

Stan adjusted the phone in the crook of his shoulder while he began to stir the bowl of Stancakes he was making, and coughed without covering his mouth.

“I think Mark took the twins when they were, fuck, six? The kids though? Never.”

“Well. I would love to see you.”

(In this universe do Stan and Ford share the ease and togetherness of other, more canon realms? No- their paths met for but a year or two before diverging again. But there was no anger, no bitterness, no sorrow in their parting, and a good relationship is still a good relationship.)

“Me too.” An idea hatched in Stan’s mind.

“When did you say you’d be in harbor again?”

---

“I have a proposition for you kiddo.”

“And I get frightened when you start using five dollar words old man.” Dipper laid down a three card book of jacks.

“Yeah yeah yeah. Look, this year’s been fucking trash right?”

Dipper thought about it. Then he thought about it again. The kids had turned 15....and then in the year following, Willow almost died, Henry became something Eldritch and Unknowable, Willow killed a grown woman, Henry was kidnapped, and they started teaching the kids how to drive.

Their 16th birthday party, while still having some of that patented Pines (mabel) Madness, was noticeably a little more subdued and scaled down than it probably would have been.

“Ford’s coming to Glass Shard right after Christmas, and since the kids don’t have to go back until middle of January, we were thinking-“

Stan laid down a run, a 4-5-6 of hearts off of Dipper’s 7-8-9. “Why don’t you and me take the kids to see Ford?”

Dipper’s brow furrowed. “You and me- what about Mabel and Henry?”

“I was thinking that maybe they’d like some time.” Stan raised an eyebrow. “Alone Dipper.”

Dipper raised his hands defensively. “Hey! I didn’t show up for their honeymoon or anything.”

“Yeah cookie for you. And when was the last time they had more than two days alone? Uninterrupted? By the kids or you?”

“Uh.” Dipper thought about it. Then he blushed. “Uh.” He drew a card.

“Exactly.” Stan laid down a book of aces, and discarded his last card, going out. “I’ll call Ford, you tell the kids.”

“What about Mabel and Henry?”

Stan snorted. “They said yes before I could finish.”

——————————————-

The long way this story begins is in 1866, when a callow and cruel young man with a trunk of grey clothes and a bloody saber inside landed in the newish state of Oregon to start a new life.

What is this young man’s name? I could tell you, but quite frankly he was a hateful piece of shit, so I’d rather not.

Here’s what you need to know about him.

He was the bosom friend of Nathaniel Northwest- they had fought side by side in the same regiment, and when the young man needed somewhere to run fast, it was Nathaniel who promised to smooth the way in return for working for him- he was strong, right? And Nathaniel knew he wasn’t adverse to rousting out some trash.

He was handsome. He towered over almost everyone in town, arms and legs draped with muscle, beautiful blonde hair, all of his teeth, and a smile that never reached his blue eyes.

And no one ever told him no. 

He was loved by girls who didn’t know better, and enjoyed by women who knew to keep him at arms’ length. He was offered many favors, and he took advantage of each and every one. 

A few times those favors ended with squalling, squealing piglets, red and angry and helpless. And the young poacher would take them from the homes of his cast off swains, promising to deliver the babe to a cousin’s farm the next county over, to a man running a tavern who needed the help, to a childless spinster he had heard about...

He took them to a pit he had in the forest, where he tossed them in and then covered them in dirt until the squealing stopped. 

Mayhap some one suspected. But he was handsome and the friend of the town founder.

And no one ever told him no. 

A fan of taking things out of season was our young man. In his hut he scalped the fur from foxes with dugs still full of milk and bear cubs that hadn’t even had the time to accumulate fat to use. The corpses of deer laid out back, the meat rotting on the corpse while the young man only desired the antlers for his home. The little corn he bothered to plant withered on the stalk, choked by weeds in an un-hoed field. 

It should go without saying of course that any pigs or cows or horses he found wandering, branded or not, soon became his cattle. For the Huntsman took what he pleased and did what he wanted. He ate and drank and killed and fucked 

And no one ever told him no. 

Until one day when he ran into the Corduroy girl in the woods. 

The men at the tavern told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; she had a way of riling up their wives and giving them ideas. Nathaniel Northwest told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; she had been talking with his loggers, giving them ideas. And his current swain told him to be wary of Etta Corduroy; for she spent far too much time alone in the woods.

(they called her a witch. and since this was gravity falls, they were right.)

But still when the young man saw her gathering mushrooms near his hut, he went to her. But still his hand strayed to her breasts when she rebuffed him. But still he grabbed her throat when she tried to scratch him, tried to run away.

Because no one ever told him no.

Not if they knew what was good for them. 

So it was to his great surprise that when Etta Corduroy managed to get a hand on his chest, and spat out some unknowable word, that the world itself told him no.

It felt like a horse kicked him in the chest. It felt like the blood in his veins suddenly turned into boiling steam. Every cut he had ever gotten on his skin suddenly opened up, every muscle in his body seized up going rock hard and rigid, and it was hard to breathe, it was hard to see, it was hard to do anything at all except to fall down on the ground and writhe in pain as Etta ran away. 

She ran away and she left him there. She left him there, bleeding and screaming and sobbing, covered in blood and spit, piss and tears, raining down from his body to feed the earth below him, the pit that he had tossed so many bodies in before. 

Perhaps in his final moments the cruel callow youth should have been scared. But what he was instead was incandescently angry, because these were his woods, his to do with what he wanted, his his HIS-

And no one, ever, ever, told him no.

It was as his breath was growing shallow, as a disconcerting amount of deer began to circle around him, that he noticed the bright yellow triangle floating above him.

“... what?”

“WHOOPSIE CHAMP! LOOKS LIKE THAT WITCH DID A NUMBER ON YOU!”

“that... that...that bitch.”

“PERSONALLY I THINK THERE’S BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH ORGANS THAN EXPLODE THEM BUT THAT’S NOT WHY I’M HERE.”

The Huntsman coughed up more blood. It launched up in the air before splattering all over his face.

“YEESH. GROSS. SO YEAH, CAN’T SAVE YOUR LIFE. BUT I CAN OFFER YOU SOMETHING EVEN BETTER!”

“What.... what would it cost me?”

“ONLY THE LOW LOW PRICE OF YOUR SOUL! BUT DON’T WORRY! AS LONG AS YOU D̀O ̡W͠H͝A͟T I̢ ͜ŚAY̢ , I’LL NEVER COME TO COLLECT!”

“What do you want?”

“I’VE GOT SOME BIG PLANS FOR THIS TOWN- NEVER YOU MIND WHAT- AND I COULD USE AN ENFORCER.”

“And-?”

“AND THESE WOODS WOULD BE YOURS BUCKO! YOURS TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO!”

No one ever told him no.

“Deal.”

--

Roadkill County, as it eventually became to be named, was always mostly forest. Even after a century and a half of logging, the forest remained, endured, survived.

But.

But there were always parts of the forest that were stripped bare.

There were parts of the forest where the Corduroys, noted by all and sundry to be the finest woodspeople in the state, refused to go.

There were parts of the forest where children would enter and never be seen again.

This is what Bill offered the Huntsman.

(for he was no longer the Callow Callous Youth, and he was certainly no longer Bruce Wilder)

The forest was the Huntsman’s to do with as he pleased, though he could only be corporeal during the light of the full moon-

(A CONVIENENT PLOT HOLE, I KNOW KID, BUT LOOK, YOU’RE DEAD, WORK WITH ME HERE)

But during that time he could hunt and do as he pleased. Meat could pass his lips, his arrows would hit true, and any person that crossed his path was his to toy and play with until they broke. 

And to help him do his bidding....and to amuse him when he was bored and intangible, the Huntsman was gifted with the souls of the pit, tiny mewling creatures finally turned to some purpose-

(SO THESE ARE YOUR BASIC LEVEL GHOULS POWERED BY FORSAKEN CHILDREN; I ADJUSTED THE SETTINGS SO YOU CAN PLAY WITH WHAT THEY CAN DO. SERIOUSLY, GO NUTS.)

-for they were his hounds in the hunt, they could harrow and harm his prey and in turn he had something he could hunt on the nights when the full moon was absent. 

There was only one hard rule, and that was he could never, ever leave the forest that surrounded Gravity Falls.

(”Why..?” His vision was fading but before whatever happened, he just... he just needed to know-

“YOU KNOW I DON’T NORMALLY ANSWER QUESTIONS FOR FREE,” the triangle said, twirling a cane that came out of nowhere. “BUT LETS JUST SAY THERE’S THINGS IN THIS FOREST THAT COULD INTERFERE WITH MY PLANS. AND I THINK YOU’LL DO SOME GOOD WORK HERE KID. JUST DO AS I SAY AND N̤̪̦̖̥͡ͅͅE͏͖̹̫̬V̬̼̼Ḛ̛̳͓R̯̥͕͖̬ ͉̝̼̟̮͢L͔̪E̝̳͔͟A̻̟͕̝̥̖͞V̶͈̗E̛̝.”

Well. It still seemed like he was coming out on top here.)

However, eventually the thrill of the chase paled, eventually rumors of his presence spread and both the human and non-human inhabitants of Gravity Falls learned to avoid the forest at the full moon. 

He turned to playing with his Beasts, growing crueler and crueler the more his boredom grew.

Yet despite his ennui, there was one other thing that kept the Huntsman in the forest, deal or no deal. For this is what the callous young man had found out after he had died.

There was no heaven.

There was no hell.

There was just life, endless, endless, endless rounds of life.

(some would marvel at the endless chances, endless possibilities for beauty and love and good food and song but we have already established that the callous young man was not that kind of person) 

However.

Within this cycle were also the times in between.

The times where potentially very very angry people would be waiting for you. 

So he waited, and hunted, and feasted, and waited.

And one day Bill was gone, and the deal was off, and that should have been it for the Huntsman but instead of dissipating he only felt himself grow more powerful. 

For the Huntsman had so long existed independent of Bill’s plans (indeed he never saw the triangle again), had established over a century of terror a reputation, that the knowledge of his story and the raw power of the Transcendence released some of the bonds on him and his Beasts. No longer were they bound by the light of the full moon. Though they still could not leave the forest, now his prey was limitless.

He had gotten perhaps a week or two of finally being able to live again when he was cornered by the Multibear. 

“I always wanted to fell you,” the Huntsman said, his Beasts snapping and slavering at his heels. 

The Multibear did not leap to his bait. “This is your warning Huntsman.”

“Warning?” The Huntsman lifted his arm, to show his newest acquisition, a coat of red caps, some still crusted with dried blood. “I am tireless. I am deathless. And you are my prey. What warning could you possibly give me?”

“I am warning you now; refrain from killing the sentient creatures of this forest, focus your sick attentions on the deer and rabbits.”

“Or else what?”

One of the Multibear’s heads smirked. “Surely, you are aware that a new demon arose in Bill’s place?”

The Huntsman rolled his eyes. “And what of it? He’s but a mere stripling. And he and his sister have never run into me, never heard of my story.”

“Have you considered that what Bill gave you, Alcor could take away?”

“That is just wishful thinking.”

The Multibear turned- turned! exposing his back!- away, with one head saying over his shoulder, “Look inside of yourself. Dwell. And you will find that it is the truth.”

The Huntsman paused. He stood still for a solid minute.

Then the blood drained from his face.

Okay. 

Okay, he could handle this. 

He just needed to wait until Alcor stopped living in Gravity Falls, moved out of that shack that the Mad Man built and the Con Man ran.

(the Con Man had once shot the cap off of his head as he had approached his shack. The Huntsman swore vengeance... he was just going to get to it. Eventually.)

The Huntsman waited. And waited. And waited.

For no one ever told him no. 

Until one day one of his Beasts brought him news of a deal it had overheard. 

A deal whereupon Alcor would be gone for two weeks, sworn by his power and blood to do so. 

The Huntsman, who was still obviously a colossal piece of shit, had unfortunately learned patience. And cunning. And dark magic.

He had a plan to make the forest truly his. A plan to make Gravity Falls his.

And from there well.

With his power, and the power he hoped to take, who knew where a bright, callous and callow youth could go from here? 

---

The medium way this story begins is on day three of the Super Awesome Second Honeymoon No Kid Vacation. 

Days one and two were scrubbing the house top to bottom. It was boring but the kids and Stan and Dipper were going to be gone for two weeks. Two! Weeks!!! Mabel thought it best to get the boring stuff out of the way first, to best optimize their time for smoochin, shenanigans, and sparkle spaghetti night.

So Henry lifted Mabel up so she could clean the gutters, and he mopped the whole house. She scrubbed the tubs and he fixed the basement door. They trimmed some tree limbs, changed the oil in the cars, put the zipline up for the winter, and all the other little things that needed doing but got lost in the hustle of raising three teenagers and running a small business and brokering peace amongst the gnome clans.

(Mabel could have asked for Dipper to do any or all of this for a price. And while some of it was a reluctance to rely on your magic brother for everything, more of it was just plain forgetting in the day to day of life.) 

But now the chores were done, and Mabel could spring her plan into action!

Step one!

“Heyyyyy Henry.... can you put this blindfold on please?”

Henry put down his newspaper-

(oof the things she loved most about him was his hands. They were almost comically oversized, even for a man as tall as him. Beautiful pianist fingers, a long, elegant palm, and between the two a truly astounding dexterity.)

-and asked, “How long will I have to have it on?”

Mabel thought about where step two was. “Uh, twenty five to thirty minutes while we walk?”

“Can we maybe put it on right before the surprise?”

Okay that was fair. And walking through the woods blindfolded was probably a bad idea? Yeah, it probably was.

“Okay!”

Step two! 

She had Henry kneel down so that she could actually put the blindfold on. She shivered as he was for once shorter than her, shivered as her hands tied the thick scarf around his eyes and her hips bumped into his back. Shivered as she helped him back up and took his hand. 

She could not wait for this.

Step three! 

Initially she was going to use their regular tent but Mabel was worried that if she had Henry kneel down it would give the game away so she had prepped a small pavilion tent instead, with the flap already open.

“Are we almost ready?” Henry asked.

“Mmmm hmmm,” Mabel answered, quickly taking off her sweater and skirt. She had spent a whole month crocheting lingerie for this. 

She was about to tell him to take off the blindfold, and then she paused.

She put back on her skirt, and instead took her husband into a gentle hug.

“You can take it off now.”

He took it off.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”

“This is just.... outside?”

Mabel grinned. “I’ve always wanted to.”

Her grin faltered. “If that’s... if that’s okay? 

There was a pause. And then Henry lifted her up, making her squeak like every time he did that. He brought his mouth to hers. And that was all the answer she needed.

Step four! 

What Mabel had dreamed about, from the moment her husband had become born again into someone new, someone not quite human, was this moment. She wanted him to pin her down with not only his arms (stronger, far stronger than they used to be) but with vines that sprang from the ground. She wanted to grab onto his antlers as she rode him into ecstasy. She wanted the earth to bloom around him, to trail her finger up and down his skin and see mushrooms bloom from her fingertips. 

What happened instead was that they had some very pleasant but very normal sex, except it was on the ground and the ground was kind of hard. 

She...

Well poop Mabel. Way to go and Mabel it up all over again. 

They both were still sweaty and panty, but Mabel reached out to begin putting her clothes back on; this... didn’t go quite like she expected. 

“Thank you honey. That was a lot of fun,” Mabel said, super casually and hopefully not betraying the turmoil roiling within her.

Henry smiled. “Of course.”

(he hoped that Mabel hadn’t noticed that the Woodsman had almost come out once or twice; it was being outside and he wanted to break free, to test his strength against hers, to grow new life in these woods and no-) 

They finished getting dressed and stepped out of the tent and

Mabel froze.

“Mabel?”

Inwardly, Mabel began to curse at herself for not bringing her bat. 

“Henry...” She looked around at the heavy fog around them both, sensed the deep knowledge that they were far from where she had led them, knew to her bone that the path home was concealed.

“I think I goofed.” 

[honeys-fiction]

I just saw the mermay event and read the rules to make sure this is okay so— would you please do a mermaid Hawks and a pirate reader with yandere prompt 1 from the second of the yandere prompts? Please and thank you! Have a good day/night! —:3

I wasn’t sure if you wanted hawks to be the yandere or reader, so I just went with what was most comfortable with. Hope you like it!

-Honey

Warnings: Yandere themes, slight hints of drowning

Mermay: Yandere Mermaid Hawks x Pirate Reader Prompt 2 #1

“Baby, I asked you a question. If you know what’s good for you, you better answer me.”

The ocean beat against the hull of your ship relentlessly. You and your fellow crew struggled both on deck and below to keep your ship from sinking. Already you’ve helped to plug several holes in the ship; but no matter how fast you work, more holes just keep appearing.

Your boots slipped on the deck with another lurch of the ship, sending you crashing into the gunwale. With a firm grip on the wood you hauled yourself upright and continued to your post.

“Captain!” You heard the first mate cry. “We’re going to sink at this rate, we have to turn back!” Your captain continued to hold the helm firmly in place, shouting, “No! We’ll continue! We’ll lose the rest of the fleet at this rate!”

Your crew was a part of a large fleet of pirates that went sea to sea looting and pilfering what they could get their dirty paws on. While you didn’t necessarily agree, it was a better life than what you had before; and certainly paid more.

“Where did this storm even come from?!” The first mate stumbled past you, heading up to the captain.

“Who gives a shit. We can’t let ourselves fall behind!”

Another large lurch had your gaze falling to the abyssal black waves beneath you. One wrong move could send you tumbling into the frozen depths, doomed to drown amidst the storm. In that brief moment, you could have sworn you saw a sudden flash of color. It was almost as if a fire had sparked under the roaring waters.

You hurried to tug the riggings to the sails back into place. None of your fellow sailors had caught sight of your plight, too focused trying to stay aboard. 

“Brace!” Your captain called suddenly.

A massive wave hit the side of the ship. Salt water clogged your senses, blurring your vision. The impact caused you to loosen your hold on the ropes. Next thing you knew, you were sucked over the side of the ship and into the ocean.

If the water hadn’t shocked you before, falling headfirst into the sea sure did. The sudden below-zero assault on your body had your muscles seizing and body frozen. All you could do was watch the surface drift farther from you as you sunk, vision slowly going black as your body struggled to hold your breath. The last thing you saw was a strange silhouette entering your peripheral. 

Slowly, you felt feeling return to you. The first thing you registered was the strange, cold feeling that enveloped your body. It was almost as if you were floating through the sky, beyond the reach of gravity. Next was the rough texture that held both of your wrists behind you. From what your drowsy mind could tell, iron cuffs kept your wrists drifting behind you, most likely chained to a wall. Finally, you managed to get your eyes open. 

What you saw nearly sent you back into shock. You were in a cell of sorts, one that had bars that seemed to be made from the rough husk of coral. The walls were a much smoother texture, probably sandstone from the color. 

You were definitely underwater. Your hair fanned around your head, getting in your eyes and caressing your face. You found yourself unconsciously holding whatever breath was left in your lungs, tugging at your restraints as you struggled to find a way to the surface. 

Your face began to feel hot, the lack of oxygen no doubt turning your face red. A violent cough ripped its way out of your chest, no longer able to hold your final breath. But as you watched the bubbles of air rise to the ceiling, and eventually disperse into the surrounding water, you realized you could somehow breathe. 

From outside your cell, you heard someone laugh. It was gentle and mirthful, a sound you assumed you’d hear from angels if you somehow ended up at the gates of heaven. 

“That was really cute, dove,” The voice, undoubtedly male, chuckled. “You humans always have the cutest reactions.” 

You turned your attention to the coral bars. A man with gorgeous blond hair and beautiful golden eyes floated in front of your cell. He clutched a small satchel in one of his hands. With his divine features, you were almost certain that you did make it into heaven. But what brought you back to reality was the stunning crimson tail that took the place of his legs. The crimson scales shined like rubies in the light. His fins were decorated with gold fittings and jewelry, meaning that whoever he was, he was important. 

Mermaids were known to exist in your world, but they rarely made themselves seen. They were more concerned with their own affairs with the other sea-people and sea creatures in their own world. Humans must’ve really done something to piss them off for you to be taken instead of left to drown.

He leaned himself on the rugged coral, eyeing your form with interest. “You know, you should thank me. I was the one who saved your life.”

“Who are you? Why am I here?” He pouted at your questions, tail flicking out behind him. Still, he rose upright.

“I am Prince Keigo Takami, but most people call me Hawks.” Oh, you were in deep shit. You heard the name Hawks on your travels. He was the Prince to one of the largest and most powerful kingdoms under the sea. One that had been more aggressive with sailors traveling in their waters. 

“As for why you’re here, I was interested in what you could do for me,” he insinuated. With a wave of his hand, the coral began to shift, allowing him to pass through. He swam through the water with effortless regality, closing the distance between the two of you with a few flicks of his ruby tail. The closer he got, the better you could comprehend the size difference between the two of you. He was much larger than yours, his hand could easily wrap itself around your neck and break it like a twig. He circled your floating form, fiddling with the collar of your linen shirt. 

“W-what do you want from me?” You couldn’t prevent the waver in your voice even if you tried. If he didn’t intimidate you before, he sure did now. 

“Aw,” Hawks purred into your ear. “No need to be scared, darling. I just have a few questions for you. If you answer them nicely, then I won’t be forced to resort to more- well, forceful, measures.” 

His tail curled around your smaller frame as he rested his head near your ear, hands holding your shoulders in place. You could feel the sharpness of his nails through your shirt, as well as the hidden promise that they’d rip you to shreds if you didn’t comply. 

You nodded solemnly. If you had any chance of getting back to the surface, it was through compliance. 

“Good girl,” he cooed. “Now, I know your ship is a part of that damned fleet that’s been going around stealing whatever you could get your grubby little hands on. So, what was your next target? Where were you planning on heading next?”

Your mouth sealed itself shut with a sudden burst of courage. You’d be damned if you sold your captain’s plans out to the creature that’s was probably going to murder them first chance he gets. Your crew and the fleet had come so far since you joined them. Sure you all had to do terrible things to get where you are now, but you’d be nothing without them!

“Come on now, little one,” sharp nails closed around the skin of your throat, drawing themselves across lightly. “I thought we had a deal? You said you’d cooperate with me.”

The water churned harshly as he thrust himself in front of you with intimidating swiftness. His hand moved up to grip your chin roughly, forcing you to gaze into his eyes. 

“Baby, I asked you a question. If you know what’s good for you, you better answer me.”

You whimpered as his grip tightened, you wouldn’t be surprised if you had bruises by the end of this.

“We w-were headed west, towards the Shrouded Isles,” you gasped. Your pain only increased. 

“Oh, really?” He leaned in close, hardened gaze never leaving yours. “I can tell if you’re lying, you know.” “I’m telling the truth, I promise! Let me go!” You thrashed against his brutal hold, nearly crying in relief when he relented. 

“See?” He murmured smoothly, brushing your hair away and petting your head. “Was that so hard? I didn’t want to hurt you, but you left me no choice. That’s all I wanted to know.”

You waited for him to turn and leave, but he stayed; gazing at you with strange, adoring eyes. “What are you going to do with me…?”

“Oh, don’t worry, angel.” He beamed down at you, holding your face gently between his large palms. “You’ll be safe down here, I promise.”

“What?!” You blurted. “You can’t keep me down here!”

He merely laughed, as if everything you did was funny to him. “Oh no baby! You’ll be able to leave the cell and stay with me eventually. You just need to… adjust.”

“No! I don’t belong in the sea, I’m human!” Despite your protests, his tail curled around your frame once more as he held you tenderly to his chest.

“Not for long, love. You never belonged up there, your true purpose is down here, with me.”

Even under water, you could feel the tears burn your eyes as you began to weep. “Why are you doing this to me?”

“Truth is, I’ve been following your vessel for awhile now. My old man’s been getting on my case about finding a suitable mate; you know how it is, royal business.” He reached for the small satchel he carried in. “When I saw you, and how you interacted with those ruffians, I knew you were perfect.” He produced a strange glowing blue vial from the pouch, popping it open.

“Now, the transformation is going to be rough at first, but I’ll be by your side the whole way.”

“No!” You fought against his iron grip. “I don’t want this, you can’t do this to me!”

“Shshsh it’s okay dear!” He shushed you, drawing the vial to his lips. “I already gave you the first portion earlier anyways, couldn't have you drowning on me.”

“Now, hold still, this might burn a little!”

You saw him cut into his lip with his canines, drawing blood into his mouth. He downed the concoction before moving his lips to your own. With a harsh grip on your jaw, he forced you to take the mixture into your mouth and down your throat with soothing rubs to your neck. 

It ran a burning trail down your esophagus, like you swallowed boiling salt water. Your vision began to darken as you screamed into his palm. Your vision went black, with those striking golden eyes stealing the last of your consciousness.

[poguesofthebau]

princess of the mainland, pt two

part two requested by @ponyboys-sunsets: I loved your jj fic with the touron reader! could we get another part to it? maybe she is going around the island with jj, hangs out with the pogues, or even run into some kooks? there’s so many possibilities!

part one is right here if you haven’t read it yet!

summary: two weeks after their first meeting at The Wreck, jj and his tourist girl spend an eventful night together at the boneyard, including a run-in with everyone’s favorite kooks. word count: 2,114

“i can’t believe you can’t surf, y/n. that’s a shameful thing to admit around these parts,” jj claimed, as he was currently scolding you for not being educated and skilled in the art of surfing, which you’d quickly noticed was his all time favorite thing to do in his spare time. 

“oh, oh, sorry. i don’t wanna disgrace you, then, right? so i’ll just head back to the hotel, you know, leave you alone with your surfer thoughts,” you threatened in response, the corners of your mouth perking up as you watched jj’s reaction. the two of you were walking down the beach, headed to a kegger at a place jj referred to as “The Boneyard.” ominous. as you trekked through the sand, the blonde boy had been commenting on surfers that you were passing. critiques like ‘terrible form,’ ‘what a fuckin’ wipeout!,’ and ‘that guy’s definitely never surfed before now’ had been falling from his mouth without hesitation. he had his fingers laced through yours, but that had been just about all of the attention you were getting from him before you told him you’d never surfed before. now, he seemed ready to throw you on his own surfboard and ship you off into the ocean, but lucky for you, there was a kegger for him to attend instead. however, that didn’t stop you from teasing him a little.

hearing your threats to abandon him on the beach to return to your family, who you’d barely seen during your so-far two weeks of vacation, jj yanked you into his side, wrapping an arm around you and squeezing. “no fuckin’ way, princess. nice try, though. think you can escape back to kooklandia now? it’s a little too late for that.” your heart skipped a beat when you heard the word princess, but you ignored it. you’d learned on day one that heart palpitations were just a jj side effect for you. 

“once a pogue, always a pogue?” you’d offer with a smile. he’d hum contently at your statement. at that point, you two had almost arrived at the party. from where you stood, you could see john b standing by the keg, pouring drinks for partygoers with that social butterfly smile he always wore. sarah was wrapped around jb, her arm around his waist as they both laughed at something. pope and kie were just as easy to spot, sitting close to each other on a log around the bonfire.

“okay, game plan,” jj would say as you continued strolling in the direction of the keg. “tonight, we get drunk and have a good time. tomorrow, after your day of kook-ish tourist activities, surfing lessons.” a groan would slip out of your mouth before you could think twice, and jj laughed at you for it. “i’m a great teacher, you know. i can teach you plenty of other shit too, if you wanted.” the low tone of his voice would make you laugh this time, immediately shutting down any ideas he’d had. as you laughed, jj would lean his head against yours, breath fanning out on your temple as he breathed a laugh with you. “okay, fine. keeping playing hard to get. but--” he quickly shifted into a sing-songing voice. “your vacation won’t last foreverrr!”

you nudge him with your shoulder, smiling at him as you spoke. “jeez, jj. what kind of girl do you think i am? jumping into bed with a guy i’ve known for 2 weeks?”

“you know you’d be honored to jump into bed with me.”

“woah, woah, woah, kiddos! who’s jumping into bed with who, now?” john b would call with mock concern, laughing as you two got close enough for him to hear your conversation without even realizing. “the night is too young to already be acting so scandalous!” 

“don’t worry, jb, i was just reminding jj that i’m not the typical island girl. just a simpleton of a mainlander, if you will.” jj threw a shut up your way before releasing his grip on you to grab you each a drink.

almost an hour later, jj decided to break out the joint he’d had sitting in his pocket, lighting it before taking a pull from it and handing it off to you. as you smoked, the two of you began strolling toward kie, who you both knew would love her fair share of jj’s weed. as you approached kie and pope, though, another body placed itself directly in front of the two of you.

“hey, pogue,” you heard, looking up to see a boy you’d never seen before. the only thing you knew about him based on that one glance was that he was a super kook. “what a surprise to see you here!”

jj’s grip on your hand tightened, and it clicked in your head. this must be rafe-- sarah’s evil older brother who tortured the pogues every chance he got. you’d heard plenty about rafe during your two weeks in the obx, and you weren’t too impressed by his reputation. upon realizing this, you also predicted that jj was about to lash out. you squeezed his hand back, trying to let him know you understood without speaking, but he didn’t seem to get the hint. you tugged on his arm this time, trying to pull him around rafe without any more damage. “sorry, we’re not interested tonight,” you’d quickly speak up in rafe’s direction, jj finally taking a step to follow you when he saw rafe’s thrown off, slightly confused look toward you. “’scuse us.”

“really, jj? backing down from a fight before i can even beat your ass?” another two kooks began coming down the beach, laughing at rafe’s words as they neared-- unbeknownst to you, it was kelce and topper. jj’s steps faltered at rafe’s challenge, but there was no chance you were letting go of his hand.

“hey, islander, cut the shit. we’re not doing that tonight,” you’d call out to jj, seeing the fire in his eyes when the two of you made eye contact. speaking again, you lowered your voice this time so only jj could hear your words. “two possibilities, right? one: you fight, you beat his ass, he gets pissed. or, two: you walk away, he gets just as pissed that you won’t give him the time of day, we go smoke another joint. i’m here for vacation, not wwe, you know.” over the past two weeks, jj had shown up to your hotel to pick you up on multiple occasions with bruised and bloodied body parts, claiming to have gotten into a fight on his way there every time. you knew that side of him was one he let show more than frequently, and you understood where he was coming from, but you still wanted him to be safe. (what ever happened to like, ‘yo mama’ battles, or something? why is everyone always fistfighting nowadays?)

after letting out a low growl of disagreement, jj let you pull him farther from rafe as the older boy continued to run his mouth behind you. you heard the other kooks joining in, spewing harmless insults at you both as you walked away. when you reached the other pogues, kie had a look of impressed awe on her face, and pope seemed to be in blatant shock. laughing at their expressions, you passed kie the joint before turning back to check on jj. “you good?” he shrugged, still appearing to be a little pissed off, but not enough to do anything about it. “was my assumption that that was rafe cameron correct?”

pope jumped in then, standing and placing his hands on your shoulders. “yes, y/n,” pope confirmed in an exasperated tone, shaking your shoulders lightly with every word. “that was rafe cameron, and you just achieved the impossible. like, fucking defying gravity, kind of impossible. you just kept jj maybank from fighting rafe cameron? how the hell did you just do that? huh?” jj would roll his eyes at that, taking the joint back from kie with a huff. “hey, here come john b and sarah! did you guys just see that too?!” pope would yell to your quickly-approaching friends, causing you to laugh again.

as john b and sarah walked up to the group, you and jj took your own seats on the log next to pope and kie’s. knowing what was about to happen, jj buried his head in your neck (after checking to make sure rafe and his pawns weren’t watching anymore). “i hate you,” he’d grumble into your neck, prompting you to run a hand through his hair with a smile as you told him he was wrong. he grumbled inaudibly again, then groaned when john b and sarah began asking him questions about what they’d just witnessed. “y/n made me break the rules of the jungle! okay? that’s it! my girl’s a mainlander, and she follows the rules of mainland society! she doesn’t get it! how is that my fault?!” everyone would laugh at the outburst, and your heart did another backflip when jj called you his girl. unlike the nickname of princess, though, being his girl stirred up some new feelings for you. where is this gonna go after i go back home? do i just lose him? you’d suddenly wonder, looking around at your new friends to avoid making eye contact with jj. fuck, i don’t even wanna lose his friends, let alone lose him. fuck, fuck, fuck.

though you didn’t realize it, jj noticed your change in emotion right away. he’d felt your pulse jump under his lips, and when he looked up to check that you were alright with being called his girl, he saw the look on your face. it was a look that jj could only connect with panic, uncertainty, nervousness. when you didn’t do anything but slip your hand into his, though, he chose to let it go for the time being. it wasn’t until you two started walking back to john b’s later in the night that he addressed it. “you good to go back to jb’s?” he’d ask, trying not to be too specific with his words, but still wanting to be certain that you were certain. certain about whatever you’d been thinking about earlier at the boneyard, whether it was him, or the pogues, or anything else. jj found himself constantly wanting to make sure you were okay during those two weeks. he was always glancing in your direction when you wandered off for a moment, and texting you on days you spent with your family to make sure it wasn’t going too terribly, and tossing a sweatshirt toward you when he felt you shiver under his arm during a night on the hms pogue. in those two weeks, you became jj’s top priority, at all times.

“yeah, little sis is gonna cover for me for the night. she texted me that she stuffed my hotel bed with pillows for just in case mom and dad come in while she’s asleep,” you laughed, bringing a chuckle out of jj, too. “i just have to be back by 7 tomorrow morning so nobody realizes i wasn’t there overnight, and mom’s psycho itinerary starts at 9. no problem.”

“that’s good to hear,” jj would reply, taking a breath before continuing. “but, not really what i meant.” when you looked at him quizzically, he spoke again. “i don’t know, i don’t want you to think i’m kidnapping you or something. i just wanna make sure this is all cool, i guess. and all the stuff earlier, the sex jokes and stuff, you know, that’s not serious. i mean, i’d love to, but i don’t care about it, you know? like--”

“jj,” you cut him off, laughing at his rambling and pressing a kiss to his hand, which was being held in your own as you walked. “i know. you don’t have to worry about me misunderstanding you. i think i’ve got it by now.” he smiled in relief at that, but you weren’t done. you could see the Chateau now, so you sped up your words in a low voice in order to get them out before being in earshot of the other pogues. “and, fyi, the sex jokes are fine. funny, even. but, it’d be okay if they weren’t jokes, too.”

jj’s eyes would widen, making you laugh, and his grip on your hand would tighten just a little. “are you-- are you serious?” you’d nod, a smirk on your face as you looked up at him and feigned innocence. “oh, my god, y/n. i’m so glad your sister is covering, because you are so done for.”

[nataliedanovelist]

C-137 Vs. 46'\

C-137 Vs. 46'\ = A Gravity Falls & Rick and Morty crossover fic for @stephreynaart! I meant to finish this, like, forever ago, but I did my best and decided this has stayed hidden in my files long enough. I hope y’all enjoy it!

Stanchez for life!!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Episode Placement: GF = after the finale (season 3) R&M = Between S1E10 and E11 (In S2E2, Rick dates 1/12/2015 on the drop-off papers for Jerry. Though Alex hates dating cartoons, it can be estimated that GF took place during 2013 thanks to Sev'ral Timez, so the next summer would be 2014. So… yeah. I put way too much thought into this.)

The vast galaxy in front of them was an endless sea of stars and space-clouds of many different colors. Some were green, some were blue, some were magenta, it honestly looked like a generic Hot Topic galaxy t-shirt.

But Rick didn’t give a shit about some fucking space-clouds or some fucking shop for teenagers who were trying too hard to be goth. Rick didn’t give a shit about the fact that Morty barely knew how to drive the fucking spaceship. Rick only have a shit about getting away from the other fucking spaceships that were after the humans, but he couldn’t drive because Rick had to repair the fucking weapon to kill those fucking bastards. Fuck.

“Aw, geez, Rick, hurry it up!” Morty yelled.

“Don’t tell me how to do my job, Morty!” Rick snapped back as he tinkered with the huge ray-gun that laid by his feet.

The spacecraft jolted to the side as a beam just barely missed it. Rick caught his screwdriver as it flew in the air for a second and he finished the final turn. Rick grinned maliciously and aimed the newest invention out at the enemy. He pulled the trigger and rather than a beam of light or a bullet escaping the gun, it appeared that nothing happened, until each spaceship seemed to be covered with blood and guts from the inside, covering the windows and halting the enemies’ spaceships.

“Oh my God, Rick, what the hell?!” Morty screamed.

“Relax, Morty, you’ve seen worse. It’s just a gun that released microscopic ninjas that slice people up from the inside until they’re nothing b-b-but guts.” Rick burped through the alcohol and leaned on the big gun proudly with a monotone voice and facial expression.

“No, Rick, what the hell IS THAT?!”

Rick looked ahead to see a wormhole of pink, blues, and whites glowing brightly in front of them. Morty was trying to turn the spaceship away, but they were being pulled in by gravity.

“Well, fuck.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Mabel was bouncing like she had springs on the bottoms of her shoes as she held her Grunkle Ford’s hand. They were both wearing ponchos and on their way to the magical part of the forest. Mabel, Dipper, Stan, and Ford had only been back in Gravity Falls for two days and Ford wanted to start off this summer right by bonding with his favorite grandniece in the Multiverse.

Ford felt guilty of the little time they had spent together the previous summer. True, he had arrived home a little late in the season, but he had spent plenty of time bonding with Dipper, leaving not nearly enough for Mabel. Ford loved her very much, but with Dipper things were more predictable. The boy was a lot like him, so Ford knew what to expect and how to bond with him, like playing Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons or working or investigating an anomaly together. Ford had no clue what twelve… thirteen-year-old girls liked and Mabel’s overwhelming flood of love and affection had startled Ford like an old alley-cat.

Still, he admired her positivity and loved to do arts-and-crafts with her. They had captured time last summer for her to make a beautiful hand-turkey on Ford’s six-fingered hand; she had said that the extra feather made it special. The old scientist had no idea what he had done to deserve Mabel… no, he didn’t deserve Mabel, but she seemed to like him, so he owed her some alone-time. Mabel seemed to like the supernatural almost as much as Dipper (Dipper took a more serious approach to it while Mabel seemed to accept everything with loving arms), so Ford offered to take her out to the magical part of the forest over breakfast and Mabel nearly choked on her Stan-cake out of pure joy.

Now, as the morning sun rose and was nearly above their heads, after about an hour of traveling and quietly talking, they were starting to reach the magical part of the forest.

“So, why do we need ponchos, Grunkle Ford?” Mabel asked as she used her free-hand to play with the yellow hood that was over her beautiful brown hair.

“Because the fairies we’re going to investigate are… rather messy.” Ford landed on. The Barf Fairies used to turn his stomach, but after traveling through dimensions for over thirty years, Ford’s stomach had hardened and since Mabel also seemed to have a strong gag-reflex, he decided that he would try to learn more about the less-than-pleasant type of fairies. “I would hate for them to ruin a Mabel Pines original.” Ford added with a smile down at the young teenager.

Mabel grinned braces-free (she had them removed back in February) up at the old scientist, loving it when he called one of her sweaters a Mabel Pines original, and her eyes twinkled when she saw the blue sweater through Ford’s poncho, the one she had made for him with a golden six-fingered hand on the front, like his old journals. “So, these are…”

“Barf Fairies.”

“Right. What do you already know about them?”

“Only that we should avoid whatever they eat.”

Mabel laughed along with him and said, “Okay. Well… I’ve actually never talked to or met a fairy before, so looks like we’re both starting from square-one. Did you meet any fairies out in the Multiverse?”

“Yes, but they were very different than the one here in Gravity Falls. I once landed in a dimension where the seasons changing was caused by the fairies, and in another dimension I met a giant fairy-queen that looked more like a slug with wings covered in glitter.”

Mabel opened her mouth to contribute to the conversation, but they both heard a noise and stopped walking in the woods. The sound had made them think of clanking metal and yells. They looked up and around at the trees, but a little puff of smoke confirmed that they had heard some sort of machine.

“What was that?” Mabel asked quietly.

“I’m not sure.” Ford said honestly and started to walk them to a clearing.

The two Pines left the cluster of pinetrees so they could look around the skies more clearly. It was a beautiful cloudless early-summer day. As they looked up at the heavens above, a flying-disk of a spaceship was whizzing over their heads, having trouble staying up in the air. Ford held Mabel close in fear of it crashing down near them, but the spaceship staggered over the woods and crashed landed from a safe distance.

“Aliens!” Mabel gasped. “Dipper told me about the one under the town! Do you think this is like that one?”

Ford, whose mind was racing, shook his head to try to think straight, and he said, “No, I… I think I know what it is, but… Mabel, I’m afraid the Barf Fairies are going to have to wait.”

Mabel peeled off her poncho and shook her hair free, revealing her purple sweater with a heart and sunglasses on it that matched her red skirt and headband. Ford also took off his poncho, pocketed both of the big yellow articles of clothing in his trenchcoat, but then pulled out his gun. He opened his mouth to tell Mabel to stay close, but she already pulled out her grappling hook and was standing behind Ford, waiting for him to lead the way.

Ford crept back into the woods with Mabel behind him. He had a good idea of what had crashed into Gravity Falls, but he had hoped that he was wrong. He didn’t want Mabel to meet him. Ford was hoping he would never show up in this dimension, but if he was still traveling around the Multiverse…

A low hissing noise from a busted engine told Ford and Mabel where to go. They only had to walk a minute before the spaceship came into view, landing in between two trees and leaving a trail of up-turned dirt in its path before coming to a halt. Ford and Mabel slowly moved towards the ship with their weapons in hand, but they found it unnecessary as a boy stumbled out and coughed into a fist, on his hands and knees and ruffled from the crash.

“Oh geez, oh man, we’re dead. We’re dead. We survived, but we’re dead.” The boy moaned as he slowly stood up. He looked about Mabel’s age, had short brown hair, and wore jeans and a yellow t-shirt with white sneakers.

Mabel pocketed her grappling hook while Ford let his arms fall to his side, but he kept the weapon in hand, just in case. “Huh. That was… not what I was expecting.” Ford said, more to himself than to Mabel.

Mabel stepped forward with her hands up kindly and she cleared her throat, gaining the boy’s attention. He blinked at the two humans and Mabel said in a soft voice, “Uh, hi, I’m Mabel. Are you hurt?”

“What?” The boy asked. He seemed jittery from the crash, his eyes darting and his forehead glistening with sweat. “Uh, n-no. No, I’m fine. I’m…”

“MORTY!”

The boy groaned and squeezed his eyes shut as he tilted his head upward. “Yup, that’s my name. Morty.”

An older man in a white lab-coat with blue-white hair stumbled out of the spaceship, and not out of drunkenness for a change. “Morty, you little…”

“Sanchez.” Ford growled and covered Mable’s ears. He knew this guy had a foul tongue, and while Ford and his brother might have sailors’ mouths, at least he and Stan knew to censor themselves around the kids. Ford’s old friend didn’t.

The old man in the lab-coat looked at Ford and his eyes widened in shock before he grinned. “Oh, no way! Good to see you again, Fordsie!” He laughed, amused by the scenario in front of him. “Great, another genius. Mind giving me a hand with this piece of… erm, crap?”

Ford groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Fine, the sooner I can get you out of my home dimension, the better.”

The man Grunkle Ford had called Sanchez appeared shocked again and he dug around his coat. “Wait, wait, wait. Your home dimension?” Sanchez pulled out a white flat gun with a green bulb on top and he seemed to be reading off a tiny screen. “Huh. Dimension 46’\. This one’s way out of the loop. There’s no way I could’ve gotten you home with this thing. How did you manage to pull that off?”

“Long story.” Ford said and pocketed his hand in his trenchcoat.

“Grunkle Ford,” Mabel piped and smiled up at the visitor. “Who’s this?”

Ford looked down at his niece and decided to share this piece of his thirty-year-long journey in the Multiverse with her. “Sweetie, this is my old acquaintance, Rick Sanchez. Rick, this is my great-niece, my brother Sherman’s granddaughter, Mabel.”

“Oh, hey, nice to meet you, little lady.” Rick said with a small smile and then jabbed a thumb back at Morty. “That little screw-up is my grandson, Morty.”

“Oh, yeah, like you could do any better, Rick.” Morty huffed with crossed-arms over his thin chest.

“I could do better, Morty,” Rick said and rounded on his grandson. “You know what else I can do? I can also leave you behind on Asteroid 3924987, but I won’t. I can also feed you to a five-headed mega-bird from Bird-Person’s homeworld, but I won’t. I can also send you to the citadel and trade you in for a new Morty, but I won’t, as long as you quit being a pain in the ass.”

“Rick, please!” Ford hissed.

“It’s okay, Grunkle Ford, I heard worse when I went to get a snack and Stan was watching football.” Mabel giggled, remembering the other night when Stan’s team was losing and he let out a long stream of colorful swears that made him turn red when he realized Mabel had heard him.

“Of course you have.” Ford groaned and shook his head. “Well, let’s see what the damage is, Sanchez. What caused the crash? Did your micro-verse battery finally start a rebellion?”

“No, because they know if they do, I’ll get a new battery, Genius. When we came to this dimension through a wormhole we hit a mountain side and a part broke off here…”

The two old men examined the spacecraft and were discussing ways to fix it, meanwhile Morty walked up to Mabel and rubbed an arm nervously. “So, uh… I guess they met out in the Multiverse, huh?”

Mabel nodded; she didn’t know how these two old men knew each other or why these two humans were in a spaceship, but based on context clues, Morty’s guess made the most sense. “Wait, so you two are from another dimension?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” Morty said with a shrug. “This is 46'\, right? My dimension is C-137.”

“Wow, cool!” Mabel said with shining eyes that threw Morty for a loop. “So, what’s different over there? Was Benjamin Franklin a man and never accomplished anything? Are dinosaurs still alive? Oo! I bet your sky is lavender-purple all the time, right?!”

Morty laughed a little and rubbed his arm again. “Uh, no. It’s, I think, pretty much the same as yours. My Grandpa Rick says there’s an infinite number of realities that are just slightly different from one another. M-M-Maybe the difference between C-137 and 46'\ is so small and unimportant it’s not obvious.”

“Oh, okay,” Mabel peered over to watch Rick and Ford work together for a little bit and then she smiled back at Morty. “So, do you always go on adventures with your Grandpa Rick?”

Morty sighed in a shaky puberty-voice and nodded. “Yeah, he’s always making me go on these stupid adventures with him.”

“What?” Mabel gasped with a smile. “They’re not stupid! I’d love to go to a different dimension with my Grunkle Ford! I’ve already been on one with him and Grunkle Stan when they had to rescue me from Dimension Mab3L. The other mes were a little self-centered, but it was a lot of fun to punch myself in the face and rescue my great-uncles.”

“Yeah, but from the sounds of it, your - what did you say, Grunkle Ford? - is nice to you.” Morty pointed out. “My Grandpa Rick treats me like garbage all the time, but then again he treats everyone like garbage, so at least he’s only signaling me out to stay hidden from the Federation or whatever.”

“Oh.” Mabel said quietly and held her hands behind her back bashfully, unsure of how to respond, but she decided to try to make Morty feel better. “Well, my other great-uncle, Grunkle Stan, is a little tough sometimes, but that’s only because he cares about his family and is toughening us up for a tougher world. He’s my hero!”

“That sounds nice.” Morty said with a small smile. He didn’t think Rick cared about his family like this Stan guy, but Morty wasn’t in the mood to kill Mabel’s optimism. “I like your sweater, by the way.”

“Thanks!” Mabel grinned proudly. “I made it!”

Morty’s eyes widened. “Wow, really?” Mabel held out her arm so Morty could feel her sleeve. “Oh my God, that’s amazing! You’re really talented.”

“Hey, thanks! If you want, I can make you one!”

“R-R-Really? You’d do that for me?”

“Sure! What’s your favorite color?”

“Uh… y-yellow.”

“Got it!”

Ford and Rick walked up to the teenagers and the six-fingered researcher said, “Well, I’m afraid the ship lost a part we need, but luckily I have the materials we need to build one in the lab back home.”

“Great!” Mabel said and grinned. “Let’s go! So, how did you two meet, anyway?”

Ford and Mabel led the way with Rick and Morty closely behind. “We met about twenty years ago in a high-security prison. I remember feeling relieved to see another human. I had been without human contact for a little under two years at the time since I had been stranded on some desert planet.”

“Yeah, this nerd got into big trouble for the extinction of a few million species on Planet 8824816.”

“What?!” Mabel gasped and looked up at her great-uncle, unable to believe that he would cause such mass genocide. “Grunkle Ford, you didn’t?!”

“Of course I didn’t, Mabel.” Ford quickly reassured his niece. “That was the planet I thought was a sandwich. Anyway, at least I didn’t do what Rick was in for…”

“What did he do?”

“I purposely caused mass genocide on Sector 56, Dimension “”113.” Rick said in a scaringly monotone voice.

“What?!”

“Rick!” Ford and Morty both scolded at the same time.

“Hey, it was either me or the Valakawns!” Rick snapped back. “Those bloodsucking leeches didn’t see what hit them, until the Federation caught me hanging from a tree upside-down, passed out and drunk.”

“Alright, enough!” Ford said firmly. “Let’s just build the part we need so we can get you two back to your home dimension. And, Mabel, once they’re gone we’re going to patch the wormhole with alien adhesive.”

“Okay. Last thing we want is for Dipper to get stuck in Dimension Dipp-3R or something.”

“Who’s Dipper?” Morty asked quietly.

“My twin brother!”

“Oh, cool! I don’t have a twin, but I have met multiple versions of myself.”

“Hey, me too! I’ve met Table-Mabel, Explainble, Threebel, Military-Expert-Mabel, Brainbel, T-Rex-Mabel, Fire-Mabel, and even Anti-Mabel!”

“I’ve met an Evil-Morty with one eye-patch who worked for the worst Rick in the Multiverse. I’ve also… Well, let’s just say I’ve met a lot of mes.”

The two teenagers talked while the two old men chatted on ways to fix the ship as they got closer to the Mystery Shack. Rick looked up and down the place and then snorted, amused. “Huh. Not the kind of place I’d expect from Mr. Stick-In-The-Mud over here.”

“My brother had to make some… changes in order to pay off the mortgage.” Ford explained and led the way to the back door. He opened it and said, “My lab is downstairs behind the vending machine in the gift shop. I believe Soos is giving a tour, so it should be safe to enter.”

“Gift shop?” Rick laughed and poked Ford’s shoulder. “When did you get so soft?”

“I am not< soft.” Ford said dignified.

“You’re wearing a blue sweater with a gold six-fingered hand.”

“My niece made it for me!” Ford said proudly and puffed out his chest.

Mabel rolled her eyes with blushing chubby cheeks and a smile and decided to let the old guys fight. She took Morty’s hand and said, “Come on! I’ll show you my room! I have a huge sticker collection you’ll love!”

“Oh, okay!” Morty said and allowed her to drag her up to the attic; it was nice being dragged to something nice and safe rather than some new monster of a different dimension.

“But hey, you turned your lab into a gift shop.” Rick was saying while the teenagers did their own thing. “Least you’re making a profit.” Ford wasn’t sure if Rick was being sincere or not.

“Actually, it’s all my brother’s.” Ford said and waved the subject away. “We’re getting off track. Let's just get you and your grandson out of my dimension.”

“Geez, you used to be way more fun.” Rick said with sagged shoulders. “What happened to the guy who ranked up million on Lottocron Nine and got tattoos with octopus-armed piglets? What happened to the interdimensional criminal who once shot fifty Bureaucrats to save a fellow scientist’s ass?”

“He discovered what was most important, Sanchez.” Ford growled with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Oh, HO!” A voice laughed as he shook his head and left the kitchen. “I know this guy isn’t talking about Mr. Goody-Nerds-Shoes!”

Ford pinched the bridge of his nose. The last thing he wanted was for his twin and his old friend to meet, but it seemed like some greater being(s) really wanted this to happen, so here we go.

Rick grinned at the sight of a conman in his suit and fez, with a can in his hand, instantly giving Rick the vibe that this guy couldn’t be trusted but would be a hit at parties and wasn’t a total snitch. “Now THIS is what I’m talking about! Name’s Rick, Ford Two.”

Stan barked a laugh and shook his hand. “The name’s Stan, Genius. And please for the love of Moses you weren’t just talking about my brother?”

“Are you kidding, this guy was a total badass!” Rick jabbed a thumb back at the fuming scientist. “He was a total idiot, had no clue how the Multiverse worked, but he was always willing to barrel into whatever crap was out there and destroy some shit!”

“Okay, you and I need to talk.” Stan tossed him the can of soda and went into the kitchen to get some snacks. “I wanna hear more about what kind of crazy violent nomad Ford was back in the day!”

“You got it! Just tell me how the hell he ended up with a cool twin? What, did you inherit all the fun traits leaving him with hobbies like collecting alien stamps?”

Stan barked a laugh and was back, looping an arm around his skinny neck. “I love this guy! Now, please tell me you were there when he got his stupid tattoo.”

“Stanley,” Ford scolded. “We’re supposed to be working on building the part he needs so he can go home. Rick and his grandson are stranded here…”

“Please, I can make that piece of shit from scratch in my sleep.” Rick said. “And Morty’s fine. That niece of yours will keep his small brain entertained for hours.” He turned to Stan and asked, “You got any booze, we had a rough crash here and I need a drink.”

“I got a secret stash in my room,” Stan muttered. “I don’t like drinking with the kids here, but I guess you can have a shot of whisky to relax. Want some soda?”

“Sure, why not. There’s a bit in my flask to last.”

And the old men walked away for the ‘Employees Only’ part of the house, leaving Ford to grit his teeth in annoyance and then bite his lip in discomfort. This could only end one way and he was not looking forward to it.

To be continued...