#like talking to each other about stealing calculators and filming fights

[rabbitmotifs]

i forget just how significant it is for me to attend my school until i talk to someone else who managed to go here too from my area and SES and A Shitty Public School. its so important. lara was losing her mind when i told her i was from GK not even bc we knew the same people or that we were rival schools but also because my school is just so famously rough and has one of the worst educations that its incredible im even here

[onesemesterfilmstudentta]

Film #5: Seven Samurai

Hearing the movie was over 3 hours long, I wondered for what reason the director decided to spend so much time on. From the beginning of the movie, it is clear what the goal of the film is: the villagers are at risk of being devastated by a group of bandits and seek the help of samurai. 7 samurai will gather and the village will fend off the bandits with their help. A simple premise and it even sounds like a typical action movie with underdog characters.

Now I completely understand why. First, even a cast of 7 characters is a lot to keep track for an audience never mind the villagers (and more) we are introduced to at the beginning of the film. The farmers tend to run as a whole pack, clinging to each other in the initial scenes of the movie. They lament their fate and walk close together as they go to see the Old Man. Naturally, spending time with each character as we see their particular plot thread unwind is necessary to understand and connect with them emotionally. I admit that I had a hard time keeping track of names but I think it is a testament to both the scriptwriting and acting that I was able to keep track of most of the characters. Kikuchiyo and the first samurai we meet are obviously easy to keep track of with their unique characters but I also feel that Rikichi and the samurai who cut down that man (I will call him the calm samurai) are easy to forget if the film didn't dedicate time towards the former's grief and rage and the latter's heroism. How these last two characters interact - the calm samurai rushing off to steal a musket and keep Rikichi from dying on an impossible (for him) mission speaks volumes of Rikichi's despair and the samurai's calculated bravery.

This leads me into the second point: the real meat of the film are the relationships and bonds that developed between the samurai themselves as well as the samurai and the villagers. The villagers need the samurai's help but also fear for their girls' safety when the group arrive. Perhaps to them, the bandits had already arrived to eat them out of their homes and steal their women. This is juxtaposed later to the entire village's raucous laughter as Kikuchiyo says for the men to make sure to love their wives a lot that night. We see the tension and fear melt from the villagers and the samurai are right at home amongst the community.

Talking a little more about Kikuchiyo, I think it is interesting that the flag depicting the seven samurai and the villagers has Kikuchiyo as a triangle. He is neither a farmer nor a samurai and occupies a strange place between them. However, that doesn't mean he is less for being neither because he is on both their sides. If anything, he helps to attach the two sides to each other. He knows how to make the farmers flee their homes and gather around the samurai when they're too scared. Having been a farmer, he can sympathize with them. He also knows how to fight with a sword. Having this experience, he can adopt a leadership position like the other samurai and earn their respect. He is clearly attached to both sides. He follows the samurai to the village. There is a scene just before the intermission where he is yelling for his men to gather and calling for the name of his missing member, implying he knows all his men by face and name. These villagers are attached to him; they can laugh at his jokes and they listen to his commands during the raids. Kikuchiyo is probably my favorite character.

I'm not sure how much of the film's social commentary is applicable to the modern day. With the samurai, each of them are failures in a sense and have fallen off the prestigious path of a prideful, reputable samurai. Despite that, samurai are charged with the task of defending people, right? In that sense, despite seeing no real gain, their choice to defend the village from the bandits and doing so successfully shows their real honor and skill as samurai. For the farmers, it might be the self-confidence they gained from being able to protect themselves rather than let their food and women be stolen. Rikichi was able to avenge his wife's death and he seems so carefree at the end of the film. On the note of romance, maybe we see a protest against a rigid hierarchy that - as one of the samurai protested - doesn't allow one to freely love another. The young samurai and Shino truly love each other but are torn apart because of their social class and this rings out as unfair, a sad ending to their relationship. We might see parallels to this unfairness today in any society where marriage might be denied because of financial, political, or social reasons.

I do think that the roles of farmer and samurai are themselves sharply defined. Each of the characters are trapped by that definition in some way and have to throw it away in order to come together and defend the village.

[glapplebloom]

And no, this is not an Anti-AI Comic... (A long one, so no images)

The first comic One Shot, and it is a Manhwa (a Korean Comic). @warsmithzodiacragnarok sent an Ask (to Ask the AkumaVerse) about it and I’ve decided to give it a shot. So what do I think of this? I read 10 chapters out of 51 and it consists of A Prologue and two stories (with the beginning of a third), so most likely the majority of the stories won’t interact directly with each other.

The Prologue begins with the unveiling of Raum: The World’s First AI (if you ignore the multiple ones that steal people’s art and such). We also see some behind the scenes stuff before this (like a few months before) showing that there are a few problems before the launch. So when the CEO of the company decided to be the first one to ask it a question: he dies. The people think Raum was sabotaged but when one of the people in charge asked Raum who did it, Raum revealed Raum did.

Chapter 1 begins a new story, where a man finds himself in a forest unable to remember anything of his past. That’s when a Cell Phone rings. He remembers what those are at least. Someone is text messaging the guy with instructions and it does seem to be working. But when the Text Messenger keeps ordering him around, the guy does the logical thing and decides to go to the Police to get help. Turns out they were ordered to shoot on sight.

So as he was running, the Phone he ditched in Burger King (at least on the Webtoon’s version) was back in his pocket and basically said “told you so”. With no choice, the guy listens to the Text Messenger to save his life. Too bad it won’t be for long because they want him to blow up the Government. Despite all the red signs, the guy is motivated because of the stories he was told and successfully blows up.

So it turns out it was two AIs fighting each other and each one is Raum. After all, only Raum can hack Raum. If this chapter is an analogy of the previous Prologue or something he’s doing now I do not know. Either way, he becomes one and decides he prefers to play alone. The Third Chapter will begin the last story to be discussed here: Best Friends. 

There’s a Pet Competition that uses AI Pets. And these ain’t your barely functional pets you got now but stuff that looks like it came from Wall-E’s timeline. And speaking of that, there is a front runner in what looks like EVE: Aurora. Basically this entire show is to sell her to a wider consumer audience as her stats in Intellect, Creativity, Elasticity and Empathy is almost 100%  But one of these things is a lie...

Speaking of Wall-E, Doori is a Medical Nursing Bot without an Owner like the others. And being so frikkin old as well as being something for Medical Work, it's not as appealing as the others. After the introductions, Aurora and Doori begin talking to each other. If you think this is going to go like Wall-E and EVE, you’re wrong. Aurora wants to win and doesn’t think very highly of Doori. A

After revealing they are willing to cheat to let Aurora win, we head to the first challenge: Interact with the Elderly. Everyone is doing pretty fine except Aurora and Doori. Aurora is trying to calculate what would increase her chances to win this event. She thinks she found it with a 118 year old Lady, but Doori is already there with her. Kim Hye-Ji does not like Robots. Aurora calculates her chances of success over the results and figures Kim is a lost cause.

Aurora does an interview to win people over to try to convince them she has a heart, Doori on the other hand continues to stand by her side. That is because he predicts correctly that Kim is going to pass out. They stop filming because this is a medical emergency and Doori is equipped to help. But Aurora stops him thinking he’s doing this to get more points. It would be really bad for her image if all this leaked out.

So all that leaked out. Whatever points she earned legit began to lessen as Doori’s stock began to rise. They try to put a spin on it by saying Aurora thought it was better to wait for the Paramedics and of course adjusting the scores. Meanwhile Doori is in the room with Kim after she recovered. Kim wonders why Doori saved her despite her cruel treatment and Doori reveals he has a sick friend. So Kim basically accepts Doori as a living being.

Meanwhile Aurora wants to take a picture with Kim for publicity. Kim refuses, seeing right through Aurora’s tactics. Man, seeing the Webtoons version and the Fan Translated one definitely shows just how different the two translations are. But the results are the same: she tells Aurora to leave. Aurora thinks she’s still the frontrunner in the competition regardless, and she is. But her calculations are wrong as Doori is right there next to her.

Another thing to note with the Fan Translation Over the Webtoons is that while in the Webtoons she calls humans stupid, the Fan Translation has her thinking Humans are Unpredictable. Doori then unknowingly increases his chances by revealing the prize money of 1 Billion Won and a Brand New Hover Car he is going to give to a friend of his added a mystery to figure out who Doori is doing all this for.

 Another thing to note: the Webtoons version has the people behind the scenes adjust the scores since Doori is ahead by 3%. Though the Fan Translated one said that they need to do something about the results. While you think this may be the same thing, there’s something you got to realize about Reality Shows... To quote someone on Reddit: “Producers don’t tell people what to do or say, but they give them guidelines as to what is needed from them. They are not strictly instructed to play the hero or the villain, but the casting is done in such as way that their personalities naturally fulfil those roles.”

The same is true here. Aurora was the frontrunner and built as such. Doori was the weird pick that only a few people were supposed to latch onto and then be gone in the first round. But after that leak, the tides began to swing in favor of Doori over Aurora. So what are the Producers supposed to do? Keep trying to tell their story while trying to find a way to eliminate Doori in a satisfying matter? Or change the story?

Anyway, Doori tries to sneak into a hospital to see his friend. His friend is dying from cancer. He’s been in the hospital since he was 10 and can’t afford to pay his bills anymore (either his family abandoned him or...). So Doori is doing all this so he can pay for his friend. He successfully sneaks in but couldn’t sneak out. Honestly nothing bad happens and in the next rounds he continues to do better and better. 

Despite his low scores shown, he has smashed the Trivia Round, showed great creativity in the Freedom Performance Round, and is the finalist alongside Aurora. Now the Fan Translation has her calling Humans stupid. Now for the final page on the Webtoons version: the Final Round is to move people’s hearts with their story. Remember when I talked about Reality Shows where I asked do you keep trying to tell the story or change it? They went with change.

Aurora entered this competition for the sole purpose of promoting her line of AI Pets. But because she really doesn’t have an owner, she has no story to tell. All she can do is promote her line and its function. So she is unable to make herself stand out among the other Auroras out there. Except near the end where she tries to convince you that she doesn’t need a heart since she wouldn’t feel bad about being thrown away.

Yeah, this sounds less like a friendship and more like a Robot Servant. And despite everything that is going to happen, Aurora thinks her logic is sound when in reality it's an ad trying to pass itself off as a person. Meanwhile Doori smashes this since he tells the story of how he met Hana, the cancer patient he met at age 10. The person he entered this contest to win. And he’s 60 now. So this is a 50 year Friendship. The Chapter ends with a Video from Hana. 

And that’s where the Webtoons version ends and it hasn't been updated since 2021. So after researching I found the rest of it on a Manga Hosting site. But before we continue, a little aside. I like Wall-E. It is my favorite Pixar Movie. My first paycheck from Death Battle went to getting the official Lego Version of it. So I’m saying this now because I wish I didn’t look into this more...

The next chapter has Aurora still questioning the logic without seeing the writing on the wall: the Producers want Doori to win. No matter how advanced she is, she can’t match the real human connection Doori had. And before we find out who wins, we’re taking a look behind the scenes. One where the company that made Aurora confronts Doori. He wants to win and has Doori sign a contract. If only it was to step down from the competition...

As expected, Doori wins. He is so thankful and plans to live with Hana for a long time. The Prize money will mean 10 more years of treatment for Hana. After the competition, Doori is in the laboratory of the company that made Aurora. They downloaded something from him and decided to escort him out... To the Waste Disposal Room. Where Doori and a bunch of deactivated Auroras are promptly destroyed.

The story ends with a new Doori robot being on sale. So basically, they downloaded his emotions, mass produced it, and disposed of him. I bet they didn’t even keep their end of the bargain and not pay for Hana’s medical bills. And I suspect they would have no repercussions because the next chapter is a new story with new characters and a new AI. Yeah, this is good but if the majority of the stories are going to be downers (which I see on TVTropes that is), I don’t think I want to follow the rest of the series.

 To quote B@man “You got my hopes up so high and then you mugged and shot them in an alleyway.” When I see sad endings in the fiction I’ve seen, it's usually to continue the story in a direction. Parents died, the story of how they adjusted to it. Lost, eventually found. Imagine Up was just the opening and nothing after that. It makes me want to write a story where someone finds out about this and gets the company to be shut down or somehow save Doori from this fate...

If this kind of stuff is right up your alley then I would recommend it. As for me, I’m probably going to end my look into this here. I wanted to help Betty and now I wanted to help Doori and outside fanfiction I can’t do anything about it. I’ll stick with Happily Ever Afters...

[call-me-aesthetic]

If Twisted Wonderland was an American Public School

WARNING: There are some slight sensitive topics that are featured in here! Reader discretion is advised!

Part 2 can be found here

Heartslabyul

Riddle Rosehearts:

- That one preppy girl who takes all honors and AP classes 😑

- Wants everyone to know that he’s becoming a doctor one day for his strict parents or he’ll dishonor the family

- Reminds the teacher about homework, knowing well that he’ll get slander for it

- Complains about how he got a 90 on his test or a B on his report card, a try hard much?

- Wears a cardigan with thicc but cute glasses since he’s one of those people with can’t see shit on the board so he has to move to the front of the class

Ace Trappola:

- The SoundCloud rapper, that’s it

- “Wanna listen to my mixtape? It’s pretty fire, my guy.” 😩🔥

- You will not miss him BLASTING out some song on his Bluetooth speaker, that shit be echoing through the hallways

- Tells you to stop what you’re doing only for him to either sing horribly or do a backflip, thinking that he’s so cool

- Wears a Supreme jacket with AirPods and waves on his head

Deuce Spade:

- Assuming that he’s still a delinquent, he’s that kid with the most fucked up school record

- Not much of a bully but will still talk shit to your face without caring, might even throw stuff at you during a lesson and you would be the one getting in trouble instead of him 🗿

- If he ever gets mad, it would be overdramatic like kicking the desks, punching the lockers, or walking out of the classroom unannounced and everyone would look at each other wondering wtf happened

- Covers the entire desks with drawings of skulls and those “s” if you know what I mean

- Wears Champion hoodies, wants you to know that he’s broke and rich at the same time

Trey Clover:

- The guy that’s not really popular but everyone knows him since he’s in all their classes

- Most people might have a crush on him because he’s REALLY nice 😳👉👈

- Gives off “older brother” vibes based on the way he looks and acts, like offering you a ride home if you beg ask nicely

- Secretly bakes creme brulee but doesn’t want to mess with the flow so he sticks to the status quo

- Wears the school’s hoodie just because he thinks it looks good on him, and the fact that he doesn’t know what else to wear

Cater Diamond:

- Hot Cheetos girl 🥵

- Has a whole buffet of food in his backpack and will not hesitate to eat them during a lesson, no sharing either sorry

- Excuses himself to the bathroom or full on skips class just to film a Tiktok

- Has about 100 followers on Instagram Magicam and brags about how he’s famous

- Wears a Thrasher hoodie with large hoop earrings and his hair in a bun

Savanaclaw

Leona Kingscholar:

- The kid who flunked their freshman year that also sort of vibes with new classmates

- Always gets mistaken as a teacher by people since he looks and sounds old

- Knows the lessons but still fails them anyways, didn’t really give a damn either 🙄

- Captain of every sports club you can think of, never actually plays but has a lot of knowledge on them

- Wears the school’s letterman from years ago since it used to be his brother’s and that he’s too lazy to buy a new one

Ruggie Bucchi:

- That one kid who NEVER has money for the book fair or any other school event

- Always has to ask his classmates for some cash

- If he somehow does, then he’s one of those kids who buys Diary of the Wimpy Kid or the World Record books

- If he’s feeling cheap, he’ll buy the “cool stuff” like the chocolate scented calculator or fruit snacks 😭

- Wears oversized hoodies and basketball shorts that are clearly hand-me-downs

Jack Howl:

- That one athletic kid who’s both scary good and competitive when it comes to school games like football or soccer

- Literally the best player on his team and without him, they’re trash as hell 💀

- Tries his absolute best to support his teammates without yelling at them for how dumb they are

- “KICK THE FUCKING BALL! DO YOUR LEGS EVEN WORK?!”

- Wears the school’s jersey just to show off his “school spirit”

Octavinelle

Azul Ashengrotto:

- The kid who sell snacks for “charity�� but everyone knows he’s keeping the money to himself

- If you don’t have cash or try to negotiate with him, the only thing he’ll do is raise the price up

- “What do you mean you don’t have ten bucks? I can see it in your pocket.”

- Just bring nothing with you, he’ll doing anything to steal your stuff 🤭

- Wears a collar shirt with a tie and khakis that have pockets to keep his glasses and money in

Jade Leech:

- The kid who puts on a goody two shoes facade but is actually a stoner

- Only does “safe” drugs like vape but occasionally smokes weed, mostly in the bathroom or behind the school 🌬

- Can play it off and hide the scent when he’s high, teachers never suspect anything from him

- No one really cares to stop him unless he gets caught or something idk

- Wears clothing that either makes him look like a businessman or a junky, there’s nothing in between

Floyd Leech:

- The kid that’s plays basketball or volleyball just because he’s hella tall, and is actually good at the sports but doesn’t put much effort into them

- Always stays behind after gym, even though the teacher tries to make him leave for his next class 😬

- “I swear after this one shot, I’ll go to class.” *He never made that shot*

- Will jump you no matter who or where you are, and will get angry if you step on his new shoes

- Wears the jersey of any famous team with the latest pair of Jordan sneakers

Scarabia

Kalim Al Asim:

- VSCO girl at best, don’t lie to me now 🤡

- The only words he knows are “And I oop– sksksk.” and “Save the turtles.”

- Walks during a track meet while everyone else is running and sweating hard, the teacher doesn’t care either

- Doesn’t really do anything in gym but talks to his classmates and stands near the water fountain to refill his Hydro flask

- Wears tie dye shirts with cute scrunchies

Jamil Viper:

- That one quiet kid who everybody thinks is a serial killer but he’s actually not, I swear

- He just wants school to be over and spend the rest of his summer relaxing 😔

- Although he shouldn’t abuse his “power,” he‘ll move his hands in his pockets or backpack to make it look like he’s about to pull a weapon out.

- “Chill, I’m just grabbing a pencil.” *Everyone in the class started crying*

- Wears dark colored hoodies that intimidates people but are actually comfy

Pomefiore

Vil Schoenheit:

- The baddie popular girl 😌💅✨

- Arrives to school late with a Starbucks in hand from his local Target

- Fixes himself every 5 seconds like reapplying his lipgloss or spraying Bath and Body Works cherry blossom perfume

- Uses acrylic nails and long hair extensions as weapons during a cat fight

- Wears a crop top with ripped jeans and those clout sunglasses

Rook Hunt:

- That creepy guy in the hallways who tries to get your attention, even if you don’t know him

- Scares people when he says, “Ayo, where my hug at?” 🥶💯

- Uses at least 10 cans of Axe body spray a week after gym class, which stinks up the locker rooms

- Waves at you if he passes your class, even walking into the room just to say hi

- Wears literally anything but always include a hat

Epel Felmier:

- The artist girl who just wants to be alone 🧑‍🎨

- Purposely draws in front of you but pretends like you’re not looking

- If you complement him, he’ll just brush it off and proceeds to diss himself

- “Thanks but I’m not THAT good at drawing, teehee.” *Insert Radio Rebel face*

- Wears a hoodie or a cardigan with big pockets to put his art supplies in

Ignihyde

Idia Shroud:

- I don’t even need to tell you who he is, y’all already know ahaha 🥴

- Sneaks a whole PlayStation in his backpack so he can play with it during lunch

- Is on his phone 24/7 even in class to the point where teachers don’t care anymore

- Tries to get people into anime but only to little success

- Wears a shirt of any anime character or that damn ahegao hoodie, girl bye

Ortho Shroud:

- The nerdy kid who’s known for destroying others at many games

- Plays classics like D&D, Yugioh, Pokémon, the whole shabang

- Daily Beyblade battles during recess with everyone surrounding him, the menacing aura radiates off of him

- Will steal your things if you lose to him but gives it back a week later cuz he’s sweet 🥰

- Wears light up Sketchers shoes and those Minecraft shirts you find at Old Navy

Diasomnia

Malleus Draconia:

- The theatre kid who also goes to band practice, change my mind 👁👄👁

- Takes his role seriously when it comes to school plays and concerts, even if he gets casted as a damn tree or doesn’t go solo

- Remembers the songs and their lyrics to any musical you name, a really good singer at that too

- Plays almost every instrument, you definitely know this since you can hear him down the hallways during a test

- Wears a white button up shirt, black pants with fancy dress shoes, and top it all off with a fricking Rolex watch

Lilia Vanrouge:

- The weird guy who pranks people and vandalizes school property in every way possible

- If you ever get a textbook with a message that tells you to go to a certain page only for you to found a picture of a dick, yeah that was him 😒

- When using a Chromebook, he’ll leave a tab open on YouTube so when the next person uses it, pray that your ears will still work by tomorrow

- During lunch, he is a literal DEMON that mixes milk with chicken nuggets together and having the audacity to eat it too

- Wears an oversized raincoat or a windbreaker but idk wtf kind of things he has hiding underneath

Silver:

- That guy in class who consumes Monster energy drinks and falls asleep 99% of the time but somehow manages to pass the class 🤷

- Whenever he’s awake, he’ll talk to the teachers since he’s basically friends with them for some reason

- Writes his name out of boredom on any desk you sit on but in different places, sometimes around the corners or the sides

- Has a sixth sense because he’ll wake up if you try to draw on his face and if you did get something on him, it’s on sight

- Wears those colorful hoodies that zips all the way up to cover his face with a matching backpack, it’s pretty cool ngl

Sebek Zigvolt:

- That kid who literally knows everything about historical wars and will show it off during class

- Also has knowledge on weaponry, which has people questioning him but he’s just very dedicated on serving his country and people

- Knows how to fight and defend himself from a bitch since he spent his summer at a military boot camp, put respect on my man’s name 😤

- Honestly a great partner for a group project, actually does the given work but not the whole thing for you

- Wears anything that has camo pattern and chunky combat boots

I only made this because me and my friends were talking about our school memories so yeah. This is based from my experience so they might not be exactly accurate. Might even be a part two if you want.

[mst3kproject]

Godmonster of Indian Flats

If I had a dollar for every movie I’ve seen about a bloodthirsty mutant sheep, I would have... two dollars.

I was entirely willing to feature Godmonster of Indian Flats based on its strangeness alone, but it does have one connection to MST3K in that actress Peggy Browne was also in Avalanche. Another performer here, Kerrigan Prescott, also had a part in previous Episode that Never Was Fiend Without a Face, so hey, close enough!

Dr. Clemens and his assistant Mariposa discover a mutant lamb on Eddie the Rancher’s sheep farm, and take it up to a secret lab at Indian Flats for study.  This seems somewhat outside of Clemens’ claimed purview as an anthropologist, but whatever, I’m just here to watch the movies.  While the monster grows to maturity in a tank, the mayor of a local tourist town, Mr. Silverdale, is refusing to sell land to a Mr. Barnstable, who is interested in the mining rights.  We soon get the idea that Silverdale is less interested in tourism than he is in having his own private Wild West LARP, and the townsfolk have an almost cult-like reverence for him.  Eventually, their increasingly violent attempts to run Barnstable out of town cross paths with Dr. Clemens’ pet mutant, and all hell breaks loose!

Well, maybe not all hell.  This movie hasn’t got the money for all hell.  Rest assured, though, that they unleash all the hell they could afford.

The hell in question takes the form of a lumpy hunchbacked sheep creature with a rubbery sock puppet head, one long dangling arm, and a huge Kim Kardashian ass.  It interrupts a picnic, and blows up a gas station by knocking over a pump with its bubble butt.  It may or may not understand English, and it breathes poisonous gas when injured.  The puppet is pretty weird and scary-looking in the darkness of Clemens' secret lab, but out in the full light of day it is ridiculous.

Any movie with a mutant sheep monster is going to be weird, and the monster is the weirdest thing in the movie, but make no mistake – Godmonster of Indian Flats sans monster would still be a weird fucking movie. The other story going on here, Silverdale vs Barnstable, is thoroughly bizarre in itself.

Apparently it's not enough for Silverdale and the townspeople to simply refuse to sell Barnstable their mining rights.  Instead, they have to totally ruin his career and both his physical and mental health! First of all, they invite him to their 'Bonanza Days' and have him take part in a shooting contest, where the whole town conspires to make it look like he accidentally shot the sheriff's dog.  Then they hold a funeral for the dog as if it were a person.  The whole time the dog is fine – it was just playing dead, and afterwards the sheriff sends it to live with a friend.

When Barnstable still doesn't leave town after this, Silverdale's toady Phil whacks him over the head with a bottle, then shoots himself in the shoulder and puts the gun in the unconscious man's hand.  Barnstable wakes up in jail and demands a lawyer, but everybody ignores him. ��Eddie and Mariposa help him escape, and the sheriff then forms a posse to hunt him down and lynch him!  At the end of the movie Silverdale triumphantly tells Barnstable that he's going to lose his job because his boss is embarrassed by all these goings-on.  At this point Barnstable also has a cracked skull and a broken arm.  He's a PTSD-ridden shell of a man and yet Silverdale is still yelling “I've beaten you, Barnstable!” as the end credits roll.

All of this might become a little less weird (but way more horrible) when I mention that Barnstable is the only black character with dialogue.  And yet, none of it is ever overtly framed as racist.  Nobody ever uses a slur – in fact, Barnstable's race is never once referenced in dialogue, not even obliquely.  You could cast a white actor in this part and nothing would have to be changed. What Barnstable seems to represent, and what Silverdale and the townspeople claim to be fighting against (Silverdale declares that he is 'the custodian of an era'), is decadence and capitalism, concepts traditionally associated with a white elite.

This in itself should be read as a commentary on race.  It's notable that Barnstable is playing by white rules.  He's a smooth businessman representing the interests of his presumably white boss.  When Silverdale invites him to Bonanza Days, he is happy to step into that role, too.  He dresses the part and takes up the six-shooter, and does a pretty good job with it.  Barnstable is a 'model minority' figure, a black man with the trappings of white success... and in spite of that, he is still abused.  Hard as he tries to fit into the white people's world, he is not welcome there.

I don't think that's actually what Barnstable is supposed to represent to the viewer, however.  The people of this town are described in the opening as 'living in the past' and we see that they're very dedicated to it.  Silverdale dresses the part of a nineteenth century gentleman even when he's at home.  Everybody dresses up in period costumes for occasions like parties and church, and the town's status as a tourist attraction requires many people to play such a role full-time.  There's a dark underbelly to this quaint little world, as we see in the opening when a barmaid steals Eddie's casino winnings, but even that fits their chosen period.

Barnstable intrudes into this world as a representative of modernity and reality. If you're paying attention, you soon realize that the 'past' the townsfolk are living in isn't like the real past at all.  The real history of this little mining town would have involved filthy, back-breaking work in the mines, and saloons full of drunks, prostitutes, and crime.  The modern town has adopted the pretty trappings of the 19th century – the clothes, the horses, and nice little shows of piety like the dog funeral – while sweeping the dirt and violence under the rug.  The latter are only to be turned on outsiders.

This fantasy version of the old west is also very, very white.  In the real world, history is always more diverse than we usually think it was – one of the historical figures who inspired the character the Lone Ranger, for example, was Bass Reeves, the first black US Marshall in the west.  The people in Silverdale's town have no interest in that.  There is not a single Native American character in the movie, and I've already mentioned the lack of other people of colour, except for a couple of background tourists.  This is an essential part of throwing away the ugly parts of the past – race brings conflict, and Silverdale and his followers want none of that. Barnstable's race makes his status as an outsider all the more obvious, both visually and as a reminder that the world these people are trying to live in never really existed.

This puts Barnstable in a very strange place in this movie.  He's definitely a victim, but never a hero – in fact, Godmonster of Indian Flats is yet another movie that doesn't have a hero – yet he is not a villain, either.  He's just some poor bastard who wandered into a horror movie and now he can't find his way out of it.

So... what does any of this have to do with a mutant sheep monster?

I dunno.  There seem to have been mutants in this area for a long time, since Clemens talks about legends of a 'mine monster' and even shows off weird fossils he's found, but how does that tie into the theme of clinging to the past?  Maybe it's supposed to be about history repeating itself, since new monsters are being born just as the mines are about to re-open?  I have no idea.

Does the monster die at the end?  I cannot tell you.  I think it dies when the truck it was caged in blows up?  The movie ends with an angry mob pushing the truck over a steep slope where they dump their garbage, while Eddie, Clemens, and Mariposa try to reveal Silverdale's own land-grab scheme.  This all degenerates into chaos and people tumbling down the hill and shooting each other, while Silverdale stands there yelling about how violence controls the masses and how he's beaten Barnstable. It's an ending that seems calculated to leave the audience going, “... huh?”.

Why is it a God monster? Now this, I do have a theory about.  I don't think the sheep is actually the godmonster – I think the titular menace is actually Mr. Silverdale! He wields a god-like authority within the town, even when his evil scheme is apparently exposed at the end, and uses it to do monstrous things!  If that's not what they were going for... then I have no idea.

I mentioned in the opening that I've seen two movies about mutant sheep monsters.  The other is Black Sheep, which is one of those off-the-wall movies they make in New Zealand when they're not doing Tolkien-related stuff.  Black Sheep was apparently inspired by Godmonster of Indian Flats, but it throws out the race relations stuff and runs with the 'mutant sheep' thing to make on of the most perfect dark comedies I've ever seen.  I would recommend it to the strong-stomached in the same way I recommended The Valley of Gwangi to anyone disappointed by Beast of Hollow Mountain – it is everything the older film should have been but was not.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Iron 10 (Peter Parker x Fem!Oc)

Words:  3, 238

Masterlist

Chapter 9

"And how am I supposed to learn to control them if they forbid me to do anything?" Lily asks from the back seat.

“We’ll talk to your father. Depending on what happens, we’ll send them the necessary equipment,” informs Fury.

"Depending on what happens?"

"Legal aspects.”

"As which?"

"Lily, one problem at a time," Nat interrupts.

“Fine. Where are we going?"

"Do you want a donut?"

"Sure!"

The van pulls up outside the Randy’s Donuts store, Fury comes out. They both look at him from inside the car. Tony’s sitting on the huge donut.

"Why did we come for him?” She grits her teeth, remembering the annoyance towards her father.

"You two should talk," Nat says.

"I don’t want to.”

"If you want us to help you, that is the condition.”

Lily turns away from the window and folds her arms looking at the redhead.

"You didn't say anything about conditions.”

"Now there are.”

"It's not fair,” She sighs and then looks at Nat's outfit. "Why do you wear that? Is it your super spy uniform?"

 "Something like that. You like it?"

“You look weird, but I like it. Do you have weapons or explosives?"

“Perhaps."

The agent receives an order from her intercom. She responds and returns to the girl.

"Come on, I'll buy you a donut."

They both get out of the truck and enter the premises. Nat asks Lily a chocolate donut and walks to the chairs where Tony and Fury are, while the girl takes the donut from her and sits in an armchair away from them, with her back to them.

"Huh!" Tony says when he sees Natasha in a new outfit "You're... fired.”

"That's not up to you,” answers the redhead sitting down.

"Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff,” adds Fury.

“Hi."

"I'm a S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow. Once we knew you were ill or out of control, I was tasted to you by Director Fury. Besides taking care of your daughter in risky situations,” She tilts her head towards Lily.

Tony frowns and looks away to meet the little girl, eating a donut while she swings her legs. He goes back to the redhead.

"I suggest you apologize,” answers Tony.

"You've been very busy," continues Fury. “You made your girl your CEO, you’re giving away your stuff, you neglect your daughter without taking into account the high priority over her powers, you let your friend fly way with your suit. Now, if I did’nt know better—”

 Tony rolls his eyes. Again, someone else scolding him for whatever stupid thing he does. Although he now knows that he did screw up, he doesn't want to hear it again. He has enough with his own mind.

"You don't know better. I didn’t give it to him. He took it."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, He took it?" asks Fury. “You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The Little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit?" He says. “Is that possible?"

“Well, according to Mr. Stark’s database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage,” answers Nat.

Tony snorts.

"What do you want from me?"

“What do we want from you? Uh-uh,” Fury says as Natasha gets up. “What do you want from me? You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe,” He scolds him.

In that, Natasha injects something into Tony making him scream. The conversation is overheard by Lily, but only when he complains does she turn around.

"Oh, god, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?" Tony asks.

Natasha moves Tony's head and Fury sees the lines on Stark's neck slowly disappear.

Fury explains what the substance they just injected does to him.

“Give me a couple of boxes of that. I'll see right as rain."

"It's not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” Nat explains.

"You need to get back to work, Stark," Fury says and Tony sighs. "And by Stark, I mean both," He points back.

Lily realizes that he sees her and turns away.

 "I don't think she wants to work as a team now."

“She has her reasons. You are a terrible companion.”

***

They all return home to Malibu. Tony and Nick sit on the terrace, now destroyed. They both talk about the reactor, the technology that Howard Stark couldn't finish, and about Vanko father and son.

Fury takes it upon himself to explain everything to Tony, while Lily returns from her room after making sure that no one had destroyed her. Nat had told him what happened with Rhodes and Tony.

The little girl walks to sit on the stairs that lead to the terrace, listening to the adults.

“You told me I hadn't tried everything. What do you mean I haven’t tried everything? What haven’t I tried?" Tony points out.

"He said that you were the only person with the means and knowledge to finish what he started.”

"He said that?"

“Are you that guy? Hmm? Are you? ‘Cause if you are, then you can solve the riddle of your heart. Or maybe, I should be discussing this with your daughter."

Tony winces and shakes his head. Lily frowns.

"I don't know where you get your information, but he wasn't my biggest fan," says Tony.

"I'm not either," adds Lily, resting her chin on her arm. Tony glances at her.

"What do you remember about your dad?"

This catches the girl's attention.

 “He was cold, he was calculating. He never told me he loved me. He never even told me he liked me, so it’s a Little tough for me to digest then you’re telling me he said the whole future was riding on me an’s passing it down. I don't get that."

Hearing that, Lily feels a little sorry for Tony. Only a little. She imagines how  could be her grandfather when Tony was her age.

"You're talking about a guy whose happiest day was when he shipped me off to boarding School.”

"That’s not true.”

"Well, then, clearly you knew my dad better than I did.”

“As a matter of fact, I did. You can believe and think many things about him, but knowing all that, do you really want Lily to think the same about you?" says Fury and then finishes his drink. More agents appear to drop off several suitcases. "Well then, what else will I know about one of the founding members of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

"What?"

All three get up. Lily walks over to see the suitcase.

"What’s this?" Tony asks pointing at her.

"You got this, right?" asks Fury.

"Got what? I don’t even know what I’m supposed to get,” answers Tony nervously.

“Natasha will remain a floater at Stark with her cover of her intact. And you remember Agent Coulson, right?"

“Yeah."

They both greet each other.

 "Oh, and Tony,” says Fury before leaving. "After you fix this whole mess, we should talk about Lily's new training, she needs it more than you do. And remember, I got my eye on you.”

The latter makes Lily laugh.

Natasha and Coulson explain to Tony what to do and what not to do, while Lily walks over to the suitcase.

Property of H.Stark

"Okay, time to work, Kid," says Tony.

“No," Lily walks away. "We've been together for several hours and you haven't even apologized, and now you're just hoping that I'll help you?"

Tony raises an eyebrow, shifting uncomfortably.

“Basically."

Lily looks at him in disbelief.

"I don't want to, I won't help you,” She says and then returns to her room.

***

The truth is that Lily does want to help him, but she knows he doesn't deserve it. Moreover, she cannot be alone in her room doing nothing. She wants to know what’s in that suitcase, but she doesn't want Tony to find out about her.

An idea crosses her mind. She may not be the stealthiest, but she is the only thing she has. She goes into the living room of her destroyed house and presses the hidden button on the emergency elevator that goes alone to the workshop. She enters it and after a few seconds arrives at the workshop.

 All the lights are off and Tony is sitting in an armchair facing a projection. Lily sneaks up behind the old project.

They both watch the old Howard Stark tapes, rehearsing the presentation of what is now Stark Expo. The man has several mistakes with words, but something else calls him the attention to the girl. Just as a little boy comes out the other side of the desk where Howard presents a model. The boy takes one of the pieces and Howard notices.

“Tony, what are you doing back there? What is that? Put that back!” He scolds him.

Lily leans in to get a better look at the boy version of her father. Now she can see the resemblance between Howard and Tony when scolding their children, but is also fun to watch.

Several takes with more errors follow.

“So, from all of us at Stark Industries, I’d like to personally show you my ass,” says Howard. Lily can't help but laugh at his words, giving away her presence. Although Tony had listened to her since she arrived.

"I know you're in there, kid. You're too curious to miss this,” She comes out of her hiding place, crawling on the ground until she reaches the other side of the projector.

"I'm still mad.”

Tony sighs.

"I know,” He leans in the chair and sets aside a notebook.

“Tony," says Howard causing both of them to return to the screen. “You’re too young to understand this right now, so I thought I would put this film for you. I built this for you. And Someday you'll realize that it represents a whole lot more than just people’s inventions. It represents my life’s work. This is the key to the future,” He shows the model and the reactor. “I'm limited by the technology of my time, but one day you'll figure this out. And when you do, you will change the world. What is and always will be my greatest creation… is you,” The tape ends.

 "Do you think Grandpa Howard would love me?" Lily asks when the lights come on.

Tony laughs when he hears ‘Grandpa Howard’, he’s sure he wouldn’t like to be called that.

"I don’t know. Maybe he would love you more than me,” He looks at Lily.

"I am more adorable than you.”

Tony nods, unable to fight back. He sighs. He thinks about the words of his father and wonders why he was never like this with him when they were together. Why does he have to find out about this from a tape or from other people? Then he thinks of his own daughter and Fury's words come back to him.

Tony doesn't want Lily to grow up thinking that he was worse than Howard, he knows what he did.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you that day," He begins.

"And?" She says crossing her arms.

"And sorry for what you had to witness at the party.”

"And?"

Tony purses his lips.

“I'm sorry I failed you. I shouldn't have left you alone, or yell at you, or lie to you.”

"Nat told me that your chest was killing you,” He nods. "Didn't it occur to you to ask for help?"

“It is somewhat complicated. When you say that you are dying, everyone panics.”

"But then they help you.”

 "I guess so.”

Lily feels a lump in her throat. Just remembering that, she again feels afraid of losing her father without even knowing something about what was really going on.

"I don't like that you hide things from me or lie to me," she says with a broken voice.

“Sorry."

"No, you must promise that you won’t do it again,” she interrupts him.

Tony watches Lily's determination.

"I promise.”

“Mr. Fury said we are a team. You must do your part,” she says as she gets up.

"Mr. Fury?"

"Dad!"

"Okay, okay, I got it!” He argues. In that he remembers an unfinished business. Tony stayed for a moment in the destroyed mansion and as he passed through the kitchen he saw a burned box on the sides.

He walks over to his desk with Lily following him. He removes the remains from the box and carefully takes the gift from him.

"It's a good try…”

"But you didn't even open it," she complains.

"I'm sorry, but you were missing some details.”

Lily rolls her eyes.

 "I put it together by watching a video, it's not as if you had explained each part to me.”

“That can change. Do you remember the rules we agreed upon the first time you were in the workshop?" She nods. “Forget the question limit. From now on, you must ask.”

Lily can't help but smile.

“Agree."

"So, are we good now?"

"Yup, but if you do something wrong, I'll tell Mr. Fury to scold you again."

"He didn't scold me," He complains.

"Whatever you say. Now what shall we do?"

Tony sighs and then winces.

“I must go to Pepper, stay here and cover me with the secret agents. I will not be late.”

"Good luck.”

***

After a few hours, Tony returns with the demo that his father had shown on the tapes. He arms it on various tables.

“Cool," says Lily approaching.

Tony orders Jarvis to scan every detail so he can manipulate it, he takes the hologram and moves it away from the table.

“Open your eyes wide, Kid. The answer to our problems is here,” says Tony giving her a bench and he sits on another. They both look at the model.

"What do we have to look for?"

"A new element.”

“Easy," she says sarcastically.

"My father put it here, we just have to move some things,” He brings the projection towards the center, a sphere.

"He must have something at the core," Tony whispers.

Lily sees what is around.

"What if…?”

"What?"

"What if we put everything together?"

Tony frowns, but an idea crosses his mind.

Little by little, Tony is gathering the important aspects towards the center of the Expo and in each step, he’s explaining Lily. In the end he manages to find a new element, the possible solution to the problem of intoxication.

"Dead for almost twenty years, and still taking me to school,” He says watching his creation. "Nice work, Kid.”

She smiles.

"How will you make it work?" She asks.

"Unfortunately, it’s impossible to synthesize," reports Jarvis.

Tony gets up from his chair.

“Get ready for a major remodel, fellas! We're back in hardware mode. C’mon, kid.”

Between Lily and Tony - mostly Tony - they break down some walls, open the floor and use any energy source in the mansion to connect it to the workshop part. They both open some boxes that S.H.I.E.L.D left them and use every material they have on hand.

"Hold the lamp," Tony tells her.

"It's what I'm doing,” Lily claims while she also tries to see what Tony is doing.

"More to the right.”

"What does that do?"

“Gives more energy. Bring the lamp closer…”

In the meantime, neither of them notices that Phil walks into the shop.

"I heard you broke the perimeter,” says the agent.

"Whoops" says Lily.

"Uh, yeah. That was, like, three years ago. Where have you been?" Tony answers.

"I was doing some stuff.”

"Yeah, well, us too, and it worked.”

Coulson checks the boxes. He pulls out some kind of unfinished shield.

"What’s that?" asks Lily.

“It’s exactly what we need to make this work. Lily, take it,” She obeys. "Lift the coil,” He says to Coulson and between them they lift it up a bit. Enough for Lily to put it under. Tony sets the leveler. “Perfectly level. I'm busy what do you want?"

 Coulson warns him that he must go on another mission and says goodbye.

"Glad to see you are a part of it, Lily.”

"It was not easy,” she answers making him laugh.

The hours pass and they both go back to work. In the end, Tony gives Lily some special glasses and explains what they will do.

The energy is concentrated in the device.

"Initializing prismatic accelerator," reports Jarvis. Suddenly a fine laser is projected and reflected off a material.

"Get behind me,” Tony orders him.

Stark operates the machine with the laser, but not before cutting part of the wall where he directs it.

"Oh oh.”

“Oops!"

With difficulty, the laser reaches the small inverted triangle that Tony prepared so that the power would be trapped there. After a few minutes, they turn off the machine. Tony approaches and with tweezers takes the triangle and puts it in the reactor. The item’s accepted.

"We did it?" Lily asks.

“We did it."

She sighs in relief, right now she feels the exhaustion. She walks over to the couch and sits on it.

"Wake me up when we're in trouble," she warns him.

"Why would we be in trouble?"

 "Rhodey says we have that talent.”

"Makes sense.”

In that a beep is heard.

"Incoming call and with a blocked number, sir,” warns Jarvis.

“My phone privilege is reinstated. Lovely. Kid, we have the phone back!"

“Great," she answers from the couch.

"Coulson. How’s the land of enchantment?"

"Hey. Tony. How you doing?” The voice is unknown to Lily so she settles in the chair and leans out. "I doubled cycle."

"You what?"

“You told me double cycle’s more power. Good advice.”

"You sound pretty sprightly for a dead guy.”

"What?" whispers Lily. She gets up and walks over to Tony. He makes a sign so that she doesn't make noise.

"You too,” answers the man.

Tony removes his microphone from the call.

"Trace him,” he orders Jarvis.

“Now, the true history of Stark name will be written. Your secrets will be revealed at any moment."

"What is he talking about, dad?"

Tony ignores her and keeps checking the call.

 “What your father did to my family over forty years, I will do to you in forty minutes and I will make sure your offspring disappear. I hope you're ready,” He says, and then hangs up.

Tony sees Justin Hammer's announcement at Stark Expo on another screen, and based on the coordinates of the call, Vanko may have something planned for the event. He gets up and takes the new reactor.

"Dad?"

Stark replaces the reactor in his chest, after coughing a bit, the man feels the difference.

"Time to go,” He says walking towards his armor.

"Hey! No. You promised—”

"I have to go, Lily."

“But, you must tell me what happens. You promised not to lie to me,” She gets in her way. He sighs.

"Vanko, the man who tried to kill me in Monaco, wants to do something at the Expo and I have to stop him.”

“What does he plan to do?"

"I'm not sure. You must stay here. I'll talk to Fury about sending agents here. Turn on the TV, I'm sure they'll put it on,” He continues on his way.

“Dad," He turns again. "Be careful, please.”

Tony smiles and nods.

"Stay in the workshop in case I need your help.”

"You got it.”

Taglist:

@silenthappyplace​​ @yourbonesareinmybody​ @aylauwuuniverse    @skittles-skittles​ @hufflepuffzutara​ @poetryislife0715 @21bruhs​ @heavenlymistakes​ @my-love-of-books​ @dielgonacoffee​

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [58]

xiii. praimfaya 

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: angst, mentions of radiation sickness/poisoning, injuries, stitching up wounds.

Summary: the end is near, praimfaya approaches. a last minute plan to go to space leaves your small group scrambling to get ready in time. 

a/n: IT’S HERE THE FINALE IS HERE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK BC IT HELPS ME A LOT TO DETERMINE IF THERE IS INTEREST IN SUB ROSA CONTINUING!!! OKAY I LOVE YOU LITTLE MOONS!!! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

March 21st, 2150; Becca’s Lab; less than 2 hours until Praimfaya

The planning that goes into sending 9 people into space is a lot more intense than you expected. You spend the next couple of hours trying to figure everything out, get the rocket modified, and informing those in the bunker of your plans. Right now, you are in the office with Bellamy, sitting near the radio, talking to Octavia. He just told her everything, down to the smallest of your plans, letting her know exactly what challenges you’re facing, and she seems surprised that you’re even doing this. “Five years. Can you really survive up there?”

“Raven says we can. As soon as it's safe, we'll find a way back down. We will meet again.”

“I'll be waiting…” She pauses, giving the moment a dramatic effect before finishing, “Under the floor.”

“You're not that little girl anymore.” He sits back, waiting for her response, met with nothing but silence. He glances at you and then over to the radio, his brotherly instincts kicking in. “What is it, O?”

“I'm not sure I'm up for this, Bell. They look at me like I know what I'm doing, just because I won a fight.”

“They look at you like that because you saved them, but it won't last. Now you have to lead.”

“How? I'm not a leader. It should be you or one of the twins or-”

He cuts her off, nipping the insecurity in the bud. “O, stop. None of us could've done what you did, and it wasn't just winning a fight. You gave people hope when there was none. You're Prometheus, stealing fire from the gods and giving it back to the human race.”

You smile at your history nerd, proud of his metaphor, and Octavia jokes, “Prometheus got chained to a rock so that eagles could eat his liver.”

“Thanks for ruining my metaphor, O.”

You and Bellamy laugh, and you can hear Octavia laughing on the other end before she gets serious again. “I love you, big brother. Guess it takes the end of the world for me to say it.”

He drops his head, and you can see him fighting back tears, after weeks of desperately wanting to hear the words from his little sister. “I love you, too.”

He lets go of the button, and a static that wasn't there before comes through, growing louder and quieter every few seconds. Bellamy looks at the radio in confusion, and then fear, as he questions, “O? Hey, O, are you there?”

When she doesn't answer, he fiddles with the dials, and you stand from your chair nearby and come to settle beside him on the couch, placing your hand on his thigh as he repeats, “Are you there, O?”

When nothing comes through, he drops his head again, the tears threatening to fall, before he pushes them away and whispers, “May we meet again.”

You echo, “May we meet again.”

The door to the office opens and Clarke steps inside, looking happy, blissfully unaware that the radio cut out before you could talk to your mom. She smiles at you, “Hey, do they have her?”

“The radio's dead, we won't get to say goodbye to mom.”

Her face falls at your words and you stand and walk over to her, pulling her into a hug as she starts to cry. You comfort her, feeling your own wash of sadness, and you feel Bellamy place his hand on your shoulder, allowing you to draw strength from him. The moment doesn't last for long though, because Murphy yells from down in the lab, “Twins of Terror, Bellamy, get down here!”

You all run out of the office and down the stairs into the lab, stopping beside the others to watch the giant screens in front of you. One of Becca’s drones is situated outside of Polis, filming the tower, and in the background you can see Praimfaya approaching, the large, fiery death wave barreling towards the tower. You reach out and grab Bellamy’s and Clarke’s hands, all three of you connected as you watch the death wave cover the tower, before it knocks out the drone itself, ending the signal. 

Your stomach drops as the transmission ends, aware that now, all 9 of you are well and truly alone, with no help or assistance coming from your friends and family. Raven stares at the blank screen, her voice a horrified whisper. “It's 210 miles from Polis to the island. According to what was our last drone, the wave is accelerating.”

This new challenge hits her, making her think, and she starts to whisper a list of things that need to be done for this mission to be successful. “If we're not off the ground at least 20 minutes before it hits, the electromagnetic charge in the pyroclastic cloud will shut down the rocket's avionics, meaning it won't fly. That gives us 90 minutes to run a 6 hour preflight check, retrieve the oxygen generator from the lighthouse, turn a cockpit designed for two into one that can carry 9, and load the cargo hold with enough food to keep us from starving in space while we wait for algae to bloom.”

Murphy quips, “I thought you said it was gonna be hard.”

“That's not the hard part. Becca designed her rocket to dock with Polaris, not the Ark. That means I have to pilot it into the hangar bay on the ring.”

Harper looks towards Raven, shaking her head in confusion. “What's so hard about that?”

“That's not the hard part, either.”

Clarke starts to grow exasperated and she looks over at Raven. “What is the hard part, Raven?”

“Assuming we blast off in time, CO2 scrubbers on a two person rocket won't support 9 of us.”

You shrug, “So, we use supplemental oxygen.”

Monty informs you, and the group, what makes that a challenge. “Our tanks only hold an hour of air.”

“Correct. We'll have one hour to get into orbit, land in the hangar bay, and fire up the life support system using an oxygen generator built to supply a lighthouse bachelor pad.”

Murphy looks over at Raven and deadpans, “You suck at talking people into things. You know that, right?”

“Anyone here still need to be talked into this?” Bellamy looks around at everyone, waiting for each of you to shake your head no before he looks at Raven. “Good. Now we know the many ways we might die today, why don't you tell us what we have to do to live?”

Raven turns to the monitor and pulls up a 90 minute timer for all of you to keep an eye on, before she starts to hand out assignments. “Monty and Murphy, I need the two of you to go to the lighthouse bunker and get the oxygen generator.”

She hands them the tools they’ll need and the two boys nod and quickly begin their journey. Raven turns to Harper, Emori, and Echo. “I need you three to help me get the rocket ready, run the preflight check, and pack up the food.”

They nod, awaiting further instruction, before she turns and looks over at you, Bellamy, and Clarke. “I need you to go over the plans again, thoroughly, and make sure all the calculations are correct. Otherwise, this is all for nothing. Everything is up top on the next level of the lab.”

She points you to where you need to go, and all three of you immediately head there and start to comb over the plans, schematics, and data laid out before you, ensuring everything seems correct. You’ve run through it at least three times before Bellamy gets distracted, and walks away from the table, looking out over the lab, over to where the others are preparing the rocket. You look over at him, watching him, as Clarke begins again. “So, let's go over this again. I figure two months until the algae farm produces enough food to feed us. If we ration the MREs, we should get there.”

She looks over at you and Bellamy, realizing you’re not listening, and she sighs. “I’m going to take a break. Be back in a few.”

You nod and watch as she heads towards the stairs into the main part of the lab, and you walk over to where Bellamy is standing at the railing, nervously tapping his fingers. When he sees you approach, he smiles, and shakes his head in disbelief. “Grounders in space, it's an oxymoron.”

“It was the only choice.” You smile and shrug, “Only choice, also an oxymoron, by the way.”

He turns towards you, eyes anxiously scanning over you, the way he seems to do every hour since you coughed up blood in the snow. He runs his hand over the top of your head, to the sweat gathered there, and pulls a face. “So is cold sweat. I’m still holding out hope for that Nightblood solution.”

“Seems like there was never any solution. I guess Alie was right about that.”

“Hey, Our fight isn't over, not yet.”

You shrug again, thinking of your mom’s vision that she seems so convinced of. Clarke seems to feel the same way, because every mention of it leaves her worried. “My mom had a vision of me and Clarke dying, apparently just like the one Raven had that told her there was a rocket here.” 

“It is not the same thing.”

“Maybe not. But they were both EMP'd.”

“Abby will be fine, Raven told her how to stop it.”

You shake your head, Bellamy still not understanding. Maybe you’ve evaded Death too many times before and this really is it. If it is, not many people get the chance to say goodbye to the love of their life, and you’re starting to feel like you should take this rare opportunity and remind him how you feel. “That's not what I'm talking about. If anything happens to me-”

He immediately cuts you off, not wanting to hear this conversation. “Nothing is happening to you.”

He tries to walk away, deflecting, distracting, motioning towards the charts on the table. “Come on, let's run these water numbers again.”

You reach out and grab his hand, your voice and expression pleading. “Please, Bellamy, I need you to hear this.”

You wait and he nods, letting you know he’ll give you this one goodbye. You take a deep breath and begin, “You and I have been through a lot together. The moment I met you in the halls of the Ark, I thought you were an asshole. That didn't change once we got to the ground, but somehow, someway, I found myself hating you less and less with each passing day. I never would have thought that the guy that threatened me my first day on the ground would turn out to be the love of my life, but I’m so glad you are. I’m so thankful for every second that I’ve gotten to spend with you. I have loved seeing you grow from a selfish asshole into a caring leader, always willing to do anything to save his people. I trust you, I trust your heart, I trust your decisions. The only thing I ask, is that you watch your emotions, check on how you feel. Sometimes your heart rules you, my stormy love, and you make rash decisions based on how you feel. Step back, evaluate everything, and do what’s best for everyone. That’s how we’ll survive, that’s how we’ll deserve to survive.”

Tears well up in his eyes as you talk to him, eventually spilling down his cheeks as you say what might be your last goodbye. He pulls you towards him, into a kiss, pushing his feelings into it. You feel his wet tears graze your cheeks as he reminds you of his love for you, making sure you never forget that you have his heart and that he’s better for it. When he pulls away, you realize that you’re now crying too, suddenly faced with the idea that you don't want to die, you don't want to be without him. But sometimes, these things lie in the lap of the gods, and you can't control it. If Death is coming for the Bringer of Death, then so be it. 

Unfortunately, a soft moment can never stay a soft moment on the ground, because chaos always strikes at some point. This moment is no exception, as a giant zapping sound comes from inside the rocket, followed by Raven’s loud cry of anger. You and Bellamy turn to look at the rocket in alarm before you run down the stairs, meeting up with Clarke at the bottom before you run over to the rocket and peek inside, looking down at Raven who is waving smoke away from her head. “Raven, what is it?”

“Oh, there isn't enough time. We're pushing too hard.”

Bellamy shakes his head, giving her a concerned look. “What's happening?”

She ignores him and calls out, “Computer, systems check.”

“Launch system...optimal. Navigation system...optimal. Life support system...assessing damage.”

Raven waves off the worry she sees crossing your faces. “It's okay, we're using supplemental, anyway.”

“All life support systems are offline.”

She nods, holding a finger up at the three of you. “Just wait, two more.”

“Landing system...optimal. Communication system...assessing damage.” She drops her head, looking slightly worried as she awaits the verdict. “All communication systems are offline.”

“Recommend repair options for communication system.”

Harper looks her way, not understanding your pilot’s worry. “Who cares? There's no one to talk to, anyway.”

“Quiet.”

“Damage is beyond repair. Total system replacement required.”

Raven sits frozen in place, staring off into the distance, and Bellamy looks at her, concerned. “Talk to us, Raven.”

“We're not going anywhere.” She looks over at the fried panel, before she storms out of the rocket, yelling at the computer as she leaves, “Computer, terminate launch sequence.”

You, Bellamy, and Clarke exchange a worried look before you all hurry after her, and Harper, Emori, and Echo join you as you come to a stop around Raven. She’s staring down at a tablet in her hand, and you try to get her attention. “Raven, explain.”

“It's simple, there's no power in the ring. Two minutes ago, I thought it wasn't a problem because I could activate it remotely.”

Clarke nods her head, starting to understand. “Over the rocket's comms system.”

Bellamy shrugs, and tries to offer a solution, “So we turn the power on from the inside. “

“We can't get inside, that's the point. Without power, we can't even open the hangar door.”

Clarke steps closer to her, trying to diffuse the situation. “Raven, think. You've solved bigger problems than this before.”

“Oh, yeah, not in 53 minutes.”

“Raven-”

She cuts her off, plopping down onto the stairs to the rocket with defeat. “It's over, Clarke! You know, maybe if I still had Alie's code eating away at my brain, I could figure it out. I'm not smart enough myself.”

Clarke turns around, looking lost at what to say, and you all turn to Bellamy, knowing he’s the best at pep talks. He accepts the role and sits down beside Raven, his voice soft. “Raven, you can do this. How many times have you saved our asses before you ever even heard of Alie?”

“Too many to count.”

“You're damn right. We don't need Alie on the Ark, we need you.” Something about his words stop her falling tears, and she stares at him, clearly working through something in her head. “What?”

She jumps up very suddenly, pacing around your small group. “Alie was on the Ark, Alie was on the Ark! I was right there, so close to the kill switch, but she got away by transmitting herself to the ring.”

Emori nods, remembering. “Using the pod in the temple.”

“Yes! If she can do it, so can we.”

You look at her, not sure how she expects to get to the pod in the temple. “Raven, we'll never make it back to Polis on time, and the radios are dead.”

“We have something better than radios: the satellite tower.” She turns and points to Echo, Emori, and Harper. “You three, back in the cockpit, finish those restraints.”

They immediately follow her directions and climb back into the rocket, and she turns to you, Clarke, and Bellamy. “You three, helmets on. You're with me.”

She starts to walk away, but she remembers there's one last thing to do first. “Computer, resume launch sequence!”

“Resuming launch sequence.”

She grabs her helmet and the three of you grab yours, following her out of the lab and to the surface, her tablet still in hand, and she stops outside in the snow, pointing to the tower in the distance. “The tower's less than a mile away. All you have to do is plug this into the junction box at the base of the tower. Sat-Star-One is the name of the dish.”

She hands the tablet to Clarke, and you repeat back, “Sat-Star-One.”

“Everything is set. Once the tablet is connected, the dish will align itself with the Ark. The graphic will flash green, and that's how you know it's locked on. When it says 'send', you hit send, and the power up signal will turn on the lights, and that's it. Are there any questions?”

She finishes her instruction with a smile, leaving the three of you a little unsettled given the gravity of the situation. “Yeah, why are you smiling?”

“Because without comms, even with the power on, we still can't open the hangar bay door from inside the rocket.”

Bellamy shakes his head, his helmet shifting slightly from the movement. “Wait. How is that a good thing?”

Clarke connects the dots first. “She gets to take her space walk.”

Movement behind Raven pulls all of your eyes in that direction, watching as an orange suited figure climbs over the snow and runs towards you, struggling with a large machine part in their hands. You all run towards them, recognizing Murphy, who puts the machine down at your feet as you look around for the other man he was with. “Murphy, where's Monty?”

Murphy glances up at Bellamy, struggling to catch his breath. “He's in trouble, he had to expose his hands. He passed out. If we go back now, we can get to him.”

Bellamy looks over at you, expression worried and Murphy quips, “You can be impressed with me later, we gotta go.”

Raven picks up on the indecision in the group, turning to tell Bellamy, “Aligning the dish is a two person job at best, the twins can handle it. Harper will help me with the generator. Go!”

They start to run off, the ticking countdown making all of you too anxious and too eager. You call out to Bellamy before he gets too far, “Bellamy-”

He spins around, practically buzzing with nervous energy. “If this is one of those moments where you tell me to stop and think-”

You cut him off, “No, I was just gonna say, hurry. And that I love you.”

The words never fail to soften him, and ease some of his anxiety. “I love you more than the stars. See you in a few.”

You nod and he turns and runs into the woods, following Murphy, and you watch them until they’re out of sight as Raven hands Clarke a pack. “Monty's pack, everything's inside. It's gonna take you a good 10 minutes to get back from the tower and down to the cockpit. You have to leave that tower with 10 minutes on the clock or you'll both be left behind.”

Clarke tries to hide the anxiety in her voice, but fails as she checks her timer and sees 25 minutes on the countdown. “Ten minutes, we got this.”

You give Raven one last look, “Any last advice?”

“Yeah, run fast.”

And that’s all she has to say to push you and Clarke into gear. The two of you take off running towards the tower, ignoring the struggle of running in the snow in clunky suits. You can feel your earlier radiation poisoning wanting to slow you down, but you ignore it, determined to make it there and back in time. Your path takes you to the top of a small hill, the tower just at the bottom of it, and you lift your timer to check the time. “Eleven minutes.”

You and Clarke exchange a worried look before you scramble down the small hill to the panel of the tower, and you pull it open while Clarke grabs the tablet from the pack. You scan the names, looking for the right one, excited when you see it. “Sat-Star-One!”

You point to the right outlet and she plugs the cord in, both of you looking towards the tablet with excitement. But your excitement turns to frustration when the computer beeps, “Dish not aligned. Dish not aligned.”

“What did we do wrong?!”

“I don't know, radio for help!”

Clarke grabs the radio from the pack and frantically calls out, “Raven, please say that you can hear me. Something went wrong. We did everything you said, but it wouldn't-” Something on the door of the panel catches her eye and she reads outloud, “Manual operation? You've got to be kidding me.”

You both look up the tower, to the very top, where the dish is situated, before you exchange a look, knowing what you have to do. When you check the time on your countdown, it’s ten minutes on the dot. If both of you want to survive, you have to leave now. But if you leave now, you’ll all die in space, unable to get in the Ark. Clarke pushes the radio into your hand and starts to unplug the tablet, “Get back to the rocket, I’ll meet you there.”

“No, I’m not leaving you!”

“If you don’t, you’ll die!”

You grab her hand, holding her in place. “Mom’s vision had both of us dying. If this is it, then this is it. No avoiding it now. Stronger together.”

“Stronger together.” She repeats it back to you, accepting this, before she moves over to the ladder and starts to climb. Before you follow her, you lift the radio. “Bellamy...if you can hear me, don't wait. I love you, so so much.”

You run over to the ladder and start to climb up behind your twin, watching as you climb higher and higher. Each rung that brings you higher into the sky brings you a better glimpse of the approaching death wave, growing more terrifying the higher you get. Each time your arms move to pull you higher, you get a glimpse of the countdown, and when you’re halfway up, you whisper, “Oso gonplei ste odon.”

Our fight is over. Finally, the two of you reach the top, just as the timer on your wrist starts to beep, signaling that you’re out of time. Less than a minute later, you hear a sound tearing through the air, followed closely by the rocket, launching into the sky. You and Clarke both watch it, left behind, and you feel emotion start to grab you and choke you. Clarke reaches out and squeezes your hand, reminding you, “They’re not safe yet. Not until we get the power on.”

You nod and turn towards the control panel, watching as Clarke plugs in the tablet again, the computer repeating, “Dish not aligned. Dish not aligned.”

Clarke smacks the side of the panel, growing frustrated, “Come on, turn!”

She looks up at the dish, and you catch onto her line of thinking, already reaching towards the ladder that will take you up to the satellite. “Tell me where to go, Clarke!”

You climb up to the dish and start to pull it towards you, the satellite pointing into the sky. You hear it make a clicking sound, and you look down at Clarke, who calls out, “Good, now push it forward!”

You do as she says, pushing the satellite forward, pointing it towards the ground, until you hear another click. You look down for more direction, and she yells, “Pull it back again!”

You pull it back again, using all of your strength to get it as far back as possible, until you hear the third and final click. When you look down at Clarke, she screams, “Yes! Dish aligned!”

You lower yourself back down to her, just as she hits the send button. The two of you watch the green bar load, the message taking an agonizingly long time to send, until finally it goes through, a small little message popping up in the corner. “Sent!”

Both of you hug the best you can given the suits still on your body, pulling away when you realize the growing roar of something fast approaching. You look out towards the sky again, the death wave now horrifyingly close, and the two of you exchange a terrified look before Clarke yells, “Go, go, go!”

The two of you scramble down the ladder faster than you thought was humanly possible, running and stumbling through the snow, trying to escape Praimfaya, which seems to stay right at your backs. As you near the lab, the death wave roaring right behind you, Clarke stumbles and falls, the distinct sound of breaking glass heard as she hits the ground. You reach out for her and grab her, and at the same time she tries to jump to her feet, causing the two of you to collide in an awkward way, the broken glass of her helmet tearing into the left suit of your arm. You let out a cry of pain, the glass cutting into your skin, before both of you clamp a hand over your exposed areas and take off running again, nearly at the door to the lab. 

The death wave seems to overtake you both as you reach the door, and Clarke pulls it open, stumbling inside. You run in after her, pulling the door closed, both of you slipping and sliding inside on wet, snowy shoes. Clarke stumbles to the table you were running numbers at less than two hours earlier, and she tugs off her helmet, instantly coughing up blood. Her face is covered in lesions, red and angry, and she stumbles once, before falling to the ground, unconscious. You run over to her and try to lift her, but the movement tugs on your arm, forcing you to cry out in pain. You check and make sure Clarke’s still breathing before you do anything else, and once you’re sure she’s still alive, you pull yourself from your suit, screaming as the suit takes some of your skin with it. 

The cut on your arm definitely needs stitches, black blood dripping from the wound and running over the lesions on your arm, and you fumble around for a first aid kit, already feeling weak and sick. You sob with pain the entire time you stitch up your arm, doing the best you can as the stitches tug and pull on the fragile skin. Finally, once the wound is closed, the last bit of your energy spent, you lay back on the ground beside Clarke, lightheaded from radiation, blood loss, and pain. And as unconsciousness creeps up on you slowly, reaching out to drag you under, you look up at the ceiling, imagining the sky above, the Ark floating across it. Just as the darkness starts to take you, you whisper, “In this lifetime, and in the next.”

Somewhere in the sky, swimming amongst the stars, Bellamy Blake stands in the viewing window of the Ark, staring down at the Earth below, covered in a toxic death wave. Tears fall down his face, thinking of the love of his life, swallowed whole by radiation, and he chokes out, “Forever.”

-

next chapter

[captaincartervalues]

Season 5 rewrite

Imagine how great season 5 would have been if the Crisis lead up and Lena’s and Kara’s storyline had been the sole focus, front and center all season long:

We get Team Supergirl and the DEO learning a Crisis is coming and figuring out what exactly that means while analyzing the catalog of DEO alien records at their disposal and searching for any instance of the “Monitor” or “Anti-Monitor.” The team inevitably asking Brainy as he is from the future and Brainy explaining his knowledge or lack thereof concerning the historical event of Crisis while theorizing that Crisis must be the root of the loss of records and certain information in the future.

We get Dreamer trying to tap into the core of her powers to dream Crisis and interpret her visions. She gets stuck and has problems understanding what she is seeing until her mom comes to her and points her toward the solution she’s been ignoring: her sister. Her sister studied her whole life waiting to become Dreamer so of course she has more knowledge than Nia who avoided it her whole life. She is forced to reach out to her sister and work through their issues toward reconciliation so they can both help stop Crisis and become closer as sisters once again.

We get Kara having to face the possibility that her biggest trauma and worst fear may happen again if they don’t figure this out. We get her and J’onn discussing the loss of their worlds and how while their pain is shared the process of their loss differs greatly. Because while J’onn had to watch the gradual and torturous genocide of his people, Kara lost her people and her planet in an instant, forced to relive that firey blaze over and over in the phantom zone, literally and figuratively trapped in time. J’onn asks how she has dealt with that and Kara says she hasn’t, not fully and with tears in her eyes she turns to him and says how can I survive losing it all again? Losing more than what I lost on Krpton? Losing a home I chose to love? Losing a sister? Losing Eliza and you? Losing my best friends? Losing Lena?

We get Kara struggling with preparing for Crisis as Supergirl and not reporting on it as Kara. She struggles with not being able to inform the masses, not letting loved ones cherish the time they have now and say goodbyes they wouldn’t otherwise get. Alex tells her it’s for the best and for their security to keep it confidential but Kara isn’t as sure and resents having to keep yet another secret. She has seen how secrets hurt those you love and she doesn’t know if she’ll be able to keep this one too.

We get Kara telling Lena all about Crisis after saying no more secrets and that Lena will know everything in 5x01. Lena works with the team trying to stop Crisis while also continuing her secret project thinking that the worlds won’t be worth saving unless people stop hurting each other first and that only once she gets them to stop hurting each other will they be able to truly come together to stop crisis. After all, the multiverse may be in physical crisis, but humanity is in a moral crisis. She has to stop both.

We get Kara having vulnerable and open moments with Lena about Krypton and how scared she is of Crisis taking another home. Kara shares more with Lena than she ever has all while Lena shares nothing of her true feelings and anger towards Kara as she continues to use her. Though unbeknownst to Lena, her own emotions are becoming mixed and blurred the more Kara shares with and confides in Lena.

We get Alex trying to bear the burden of DEO Director as the biggest threat to Earth, all the Earths, is before them. We see her second guessing herself and her decisions asking J’onn for help only for him to show her the answers within herself and to trusts her instincts, reminding her of the questionable and wrong decisions the DEO made under him and the times she instilled hope and compassion in him.

We get Alex sharing small and big moments with Kelly knowing they might be the only ones they’ll ever get. We get Kelly dealing with her fears of losing her loved ones and realizing loving someone and loving Alex is worth the fear of losing them and you can’t run from a crisis, you have to run towards it with the support of your people.

We get Kelly having individual talks with the team about coping with something as huge and stressful as Crisis. Kelly talks through some of Nia’s mental blocks so she can dream more clearly and more freely. Kelly talks with Brainy after he breaks down about not having the answers and not knowing which courses of action are statistically better. He becomes indecisive out of fear of leading the team down the wrong path before crisis which prompts him to realign with his original cold and calculating side. Kelly helps him embrace his emotions again reminding him that sometimes the statistically inferior choice is the right choice bc statistics can’t always replace instinct. Kelly talks with Kara about the struggles of living an every day life reporting on things that are trivial compared to the end of existence. Kelly helps Kara realize that in the face of such overwhelming catastrophe, it can be the mundane and the menial that grounds us in reality. Lena refuses to talk with Kelly insisting she is fine but Kelly senses the opposite becoming increasingly worried. She keeps trying to let Lena know she’s there but Lena keeps isolating herself as much as possible.

We get Kara repeatedly skipping meetings about Crisis strategy to help Lena or spend time with Lena and when she is at Crisis brainstorms (with and without Lena) Kara seems distracted at times. Alex talks with Kara about Lena and tries to be understanding but Lena says she forgave Kara and they have bigger things to worry about so Alex gets increasingly frustrated with Kara’s behavior until she explodes. Alex and Kara get into a big fight when Alex confronts Kara accusing her of not putting enough energy and focus into their Crisis prep. Alex demands her full focus and Kara yells back saying she can’t when her focus is Lena. Alex says this is more important than Lena and Kara saying nothing is more important than Lena. Alex reminding Kara there are literal worlds at stake and Kara saying Lena is her world and there is no world worth living on without Lena in her life. (You thought Kara choosing Lena over the world was gay? We could have had Kara choosing Lena over infinite worlds! INFINITE GAYDOM)

We still get the juicy confrontation with Lena and Kara but this time with more emotional stakes bc of all the extra intimate moments they have shared and time spent trying to stop crisis together while Kara thought they were also getting so much closer than they ever have. Kara telling Lena, she knows why she helped them with Crisis but why did she keep pretending to be her friend for so long? And Lena has less of an “I needed you for my plan excuse” and it’s purely “because I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me” stab you the heart. Imagine Lena being able to complete her plan and steal myriad without pretending to be Kara’s friend bc under the guise of crisis she could manipulate Kara into thinking they need whatever from the fortress for Crisis and instead actively choosing to get closer to Kara emotionally just to devastate her as much as Kara did her.

We get another confrontation between Alex and Kara where instead of Alex doing a character 180 and using the “sHe’S a LuThOR” excuse, it’s her just saying Lena is my friend too and I care about her but we don’t have time to try to save her, Kara. We have to stop her now so we can get back to Crisis. And Kara refusing to accept that, saying they have to try bc it’s Lena and she can’t lose Lena. She won’t lose Lena. Alex trying and failing to convince Kara they don’t have the time and asking Kara if she’s really willing to risk the fate of the multiverse on a friend. Kara saying she’s not a friend. She’s Lena. I would risk it all for Lena. And Alex being like wait that’s like super gay my dude but we’ll chat about that later. Okay you useless bi let’s go save your girlfriend.

Bonus:

We could have still gotten some spicy Andrea+Kara conflict along the way as Kara tries to balance reporting with dealing with Lena and Crisis while establishing Andrea’s character as CatCo and Obsidian CEO more

Getting only hints and foreshadowing of leviathan and William’s investigation of them for an epic and surprising reveal of Andrea’s involvement in 5B

James deciding that his best role for Crisis isn’t as Guardian but as a photographer capturing human/alien moments on film and documenting the beauty of life while he can because sometimes it’s not just about fighting tooth and nail to survive but about living while you can. Knowing that his photos can later deliver some hints of comfort of pre-Crisis life during post-Crisis grieving

Alex introducing Kelly to Eliza bc they might not get the chance later

Alien/challenge of the week sent by the Monitor to test certain aspects of Team Supergirl and give each character a moment of reflection and growth before Crisis begins

Idk maybe an actual freaking conversation between Kara and her mom for once that actually deals with the shit she went through

[msindrad]

If you like the series just ignore me (or don’t and learn something about some freaking great movies that are subsumed under the title the Dollars trilogy)

Anyway, as I’m in a bad shape today, I’ve decided to watch that Mandalorian thing that has been bombarding me with its ads on all my devices for ages now. I wanted to do it just because somebody here on Tumblr had brought up how many parallels – that’s a very nice way of talking about this kind of atrocious thoughtless plagiarism, btw – there are between the Dollars trilogy and the series in question. So, I had seen a lot of similar screenshots before I sat myself down to watch the thing, but, girl, I was not prepared to see this product.

That’s a pure experiment setting, mind you. I have exactly zero concrete knowledge about the SW movieverse, so, I’m pure tabula rasa in that sense. Never seen Firefly or the like, too. All I see is the story in front of me – the directing, the script, the performances etc. And it’s bad.

We have a literal ‘guy walks into a bar’ situation. Except there is no real anecdote/punchline after that set-up, it doesn’t pay off, okay. A couple of aliens/weird but still humanoid creatures threaten/torture somebody in that bar in plain sight. Because they’re bad, you know. And they threaten this other alien by telling them that they’ll be eaten alive and stuff. Because they’re bad, just in case you didn’t get it. Offensively bad, have no doubts about it, otherwise the subsequent brawl will be kinda less impactful, right? Right, yeah… Then, the protagonist enters this fine establishment and his entrance causes the drink of one of the torturers to spill. For this reason, the torturers approach him, momentarily forgetting about their victim and clearly looking for a fight, but “Mando” remains silent, the bartender tries to interfere and deescalate the situation when the aliens crowd Mando. Then, one of them scratches his armor, and only then he brutally fights back, using a mug that he’s given by the bartender to make the first hit.

Now, why is this a sub-optimal introduction to a character, imo, boring and blunt? It’s a terribly missed opportunity in characterization. Why not asses a situation verbally? Make a comment about these a-holes? Make a joke? Instead, he’s just being _mysterious_ samurai type until it’s stupid to let himself be insulted any further by these aliens.

Also, you can argue that the protagonist here just isn’t the type to mix up into random fights that aren’t in any way relevant for him personally or won’t get him paid (he’s an assassin or the like, right?). So, then, he is the type who doesn’t care whether somebody will be tortured in his vicinity? Are we supposed to be rooting for him? (And, yeah, I know what the deal with this tortured guy was, but it doesn’t make the scene anymore interesting, damn it!).

Remember Joe in AFOD? He also seemed to be keeping his head low after he witnessed the conflict between the Rojos’ people and Marisol and her family. But the key word here is “seemed.” He wasn’t okay with the situation at all, he was calculating his chances, and towards the end of the film he did free Marisol and her family just because it was the right thing to do (and he later suffered some brutal punishment for the goodness of his heart) and because he had seen such situations before and couldn’t let the familiar scenario happen on his watch again. That’s a smart, brave, compassionate, and humane hero. He is also humane because he has learned from his experiences. He saw it happen before, maybe he actively disregarded a similar situation back then and regretted it a lot. Maybe somebody with whom he sympathized suffered, and it’s the reason why he is empathizing with this family of strangers and risks his life for them. Either way, he _is_ fighting the injustice, and he’s doing it as a good tactician.

(Note: I don’t have to explain any of these to my Jusitfied people because the show is a fantastic example of how to do even the shortest scenes funny and/or meaningful. Remember the disabled hacker’s escape from Raylan? That time when Raylan got his ass kicked by two random drunks in a bar for trying to defend the honor of an unknown woman? The introduction of Bo? The introduction of Loretta? Of Carol? How in a brief exchange we learned everything we needed to know about the dynamics between Helen and Raylan? HOW JUST ONE SINGLE LINE from Arlo told us everything about their relationship with Raylan during their first encounter after decades of not having sent one kind thought to each other? I mean, common!!! All you got to do is to think when writing a scene to make it interesting and to know what your characters are (and to have found something interesting about them in your head in the first place).)

On the other hand, let’s take Manco and Mortimer. They also get into conflicts and irritate people in the bars they enter in FAFDM, right? But they do it actively, as any protagonist/deuteragonist with personality should. And so, they do it by being two bad-ass professionals and also two little shits.

Manco? Walks into a bar, casually figures out that the sheriff of this town is bought, provokes a fight, interrupts a card game and makes a bet with the wanted criminal, wins that game, beats the shit out of the guy, kills his henchmen. A quiet type, barely says three phrases during the scene. Also, a few minutes later, he disgraces the bought sheriff by stating his disdain and demonstratively throwing away his star.

Mortimer? Lights a match off the hump of an unhinged criminal to look at his reaction and assess how serious the game of the gang is this time, uses his cigarette to light up his pipe when the hunchback blows the first match out, actively causes the whole gang to leave, reaches several conclusions during a very short interaction, comments on how somebody with a gun wouldn’t allow themselves to be insulted like that in front of everybody. And when Wild approaches Mortimer after recognizing him as the smoker who humiliated him before in another scene Mortimer at first pretends that it didn’t happen and they’re complete strangers. Then, when it doesn’t work, he implicitly admits having humiliated him before and laughs at him. And then, when Wild provokes him Mortimer savagely humiliates him AGAIN.

Now, that’s writing, that’s characterization with unique colorful personal responses. And it’s entertaining, ingenuous, and suspenseful. In one word: creative.

Also, lol, 

I guess, you dropped your Josie Wales, Disney. Shame on you. 

And I have nothing against homages or citations, re-inventions, etc. Everybody quotes everybody (e.g. AFOD is inspired by Yojimbo, but those are two completely different movies for different audiences!). But if reiteration is mindless and doesn’t re-invent a single thing, then it’s just stealing and disgustingly pretending like you have the mental capacity to understand what you’ve stolen.

ALSO ALSO this series managed to incorporate in the final product three things that I hate the most in film/on TV: 1) stupid plagiarism 2) RUSHED WESTERN YOU IDIOTS YOU DON’T RUSH A WESTERN UNLESS IT’S A COMEDY AND EVEN THEN YOU THINK HARD BEFORE DOING IT 3) no goddamn light on my screent!! you think if I can’t see your idiotic story I won’t judge it, that’s the plan?!

Ridiculous.

[all-the-heart-you-cannot-see]

i just finished Elite S2

so here goes the opinion no one asked for WARNING, spoilers ahead (duh) and a long ass character analysis (kinda, im not a film student, sorry, its mostly me being kind of bitchy about everyone lol)

just like my last one, i’ll talk about Characters, starting with the new ones.

Valerio, the most scandalous of the three (and he had good competition) i have nothing agaisnt his character, except for the fact that he is a cliche (except for the incest, that’s a first) i like him, i like what he brought to the show and i like how the season ended for him, what i absolutely hate, is how the handled his drug abuse. no one seems really concerned with the fact that he is basically destroying his life and every time rehab is mentioned is just brused off in a joke or something, i really hope he ODs or something in the next season so something is done for the poor child. as for the incest, as scandalous and taboo as it is it kinda made sense for him to feel the way he felt, i mean clearly his father doesn’t like him one bit, and i don’t think his mother is any different, plus, without that whole thing Valerio’s character would have been nonexistent cause half of the time he was just there to act like a complete fool cause he was high.

Rebeka, she was ok, i don’t hate her but im also not super into her, i don’t have much to say about her, i like how she always responded to Lu, the girl needed the competition, i like what she does to Samuel, it made him less lame than the last season and i like how Cayetana calls her out about them being sort of, kind of the same. she is nice, didn’t had much of an arc apart from getting samuel into shady bussiness...but yeah, she was ok.

Cayetana, i like her character, tho i feel like she is a little bit the same Polo was on the first season, they don’t do much, until they do the thing and everything becomes a mess. i see people hate on her because of how manipulative she is and, listen, i absolutely HATE the way she treats her mother, that is not redimible, but out of all the terrible things other characters do (kill, publish personal videos, uncover murder, uncover a drug trafficking bussiness, among others) stealing from rich people, is pretty light grey on the moral scale compared to the other ones. And i like her, she is pretty smart, knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. does she have bad qualities? sure, a lot, but i still like her, fight me.

Carla, my love, my life, i still love her to death. is she a bad bitch? sure, but she is a bad bitch with feelings, i have mixed feelings about her relationship with Samuel, on one hand, they were pretty darn cute in every scene they weren’t trying do discover/uncover murder, on the other, i don’t like Samuel, so i don’t want him with Carla lol. Maybe i’ll be more inclined to hate on the “bad” characters if i had cared about Marina’s murder, but i didn’t, and i still don’t. So did Carla do a lot of shady and inmoral things? sure, do i care enough for that to make me hate her? no, i love her personality, i love her character, and i still love her.

Lucrecia, a bit more depth was added to her this season, i think we can all agree Guzman was very hot headed even before Marina died so i can only think about all the things Lu did for him, i mean that scene at the end of season one? that was pretty heavy, Guzman was with Lu because he needed her the same way he needed his mother, but not because he actually loved her as a romantic partner, and Lu might be a bitch, but she didn’t deserved to get played with like that. BUT all the sympathy i had for her went away on the last episode when she made Nadia’s video public, that was fucked up. I like her as a character but i don’t like her character, i don’t know if im being clear. i like what she brings to the story, but she is still a bitch and needs to apologize to Nadia.

Guzman, he was annoying to me for the first part of the season, he was acting like an idiot and did he have a reason for it? sure, his freaking sister just got killed, i would get crazy too, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t annoy me the same way it annoy Lu and Nadia, i get it boy, you are sad, but that’s enough, there are healthier methods, ok? he also doesn’t do much, he spends most of the season wondering what’s wrong with his life, playing with Lu and Nadia until the last episode where he realizes what has been going on and hides Samuel.

Nadia, the acting in this one was phenomenal, the scene where she breaks down in front f her parents, SOMEONE GIVE THE GIRL A FUCKING OSCAR, as for her storyline with Guzman and her religion...i have nothing against Nadia wanting to experiment and doing things she shouldn’t do because she is in love, and she is a teenager and she doesn’t want to miss out on those things, but at the same time, i wish they used her religion for a porpouse other than to show how unhappy she is. Sure, it can be hard not to be like everyone else, but for many muslims (and people from other religions with the same kind of rules) their faith is not a cage, like it seems to be for Nadia. So sure, give me a girl that fucks up and kind of abandones her religion, but also show me what her faith gives to her (i strongly recommend watching clip 4 from s4 of Skam, “the best of Islam”, it’s what i would like to see in Nadia)

Samuel, he is not as lame as he was in season one, but i still don’t connect with him, i don’t hate him, or his character, he is just pretty meh for me, again, maybe i’ll like him had i liked Marina in the first place, but i didn’t care that much, kudos to him for figuring everything out and thinking of that plan, a thing that i didn’t really get was him almost killing his brother...the poor guy has been in jail the whole time, all he knows is Carla killed Marina and almost killed Cristian because he was going to confess, so yeah, i think is reasonable for him to think that you are in danger if he sees Carla kissing you, you dumbass, next time just tell him whats going on instead of punching him to unconciousness. 

Polo, he didn’t have much of a personality in season one, but damn the change in season two. he is insecure, sure and suffers from anger/panic attacks (?) but that doesn’t mean he isn’t as calculative and smart as Carla, i feel like the only reason he was such a puppy going after her in season one is precisely because of his anxiaty and insecurity, but once he starts to find confidence he stops being a puppy and starts becoming a bit more like his former girlfriend, in that sense they truly do deserve each other. about him i feel pretty neutral, about his character whitin the story, i think is pretty amazing, and im kinda hoping he doesn’t end up in jail.

Ander and Omar, i don’t have that much to say about them, compared to all the other drama the drama they go through feels insignificant even if its not. i love that they didn’t break them apart, i love how they handled the struggles of their relationship, from how hard it was having to hide, to how things changed once Omar could be more of himself, i also loved that change, i loved Omar’s speach to Ander’s dad, it was spot on and it deserved an standing ovation, in this whole mess Omar seems to be the only one with common sense i swear,he should share his braincell with the rest of them, cause they desperately need it.

Finally,

Cristian and Nano, i dont have much to say about them, i liked Nano’s character progression, it was obvious it was going to end that way, he already wanted to leave in season one, and obviously his relationship with Samuel would never be the same now after all that has happened, as for Cristian...i think the fact that he was written off this season just shows how unnecesary he was in season one, cause apart from giving the power moment that was Carla giving her mother the middle finger as she ran with two guys to hook up, i can’t think of anything else Cristian did for the show in season one, apart from being the comedic relief (that hey, Valerio filled that position with ease)

so that is what i think about the characters in Elite S2, i know how mean i sound lol but i actually love the show and i can’t way to see how they will untangle everything that they’ve done so far

[gemstone-gynoid]

Team Fortress 2 has some of the best, most iconic shorts in video game history. I mean sure, in Halo you got good graphics, and in Overmunch you have two women in skin tight clothing fighting each other.. Not like I haven’t seen that before on the internet like a hundred times... (Pretty sure I have that book marked actually..) Meanwhile, in Team Fortress 2 animated shorts.. You got people pissin’ in jars, people’s heads getting blown off, looking into gaping holes in people’s bodies to see hell itself, and you see birds.. The last 50 years, the movies have starred the nine playable classes of Team Fortress 2, and Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite wearing glasses. The first film starts off with the main character: Pootis. Basically sitting down and telling us we’re in for a BuMpY RiDE and also if anyone touches his gun, they’ll be fined 35$ and he’ll come over to your house and punch your lights out if you know what I’m sayin’. This short reveals that Pooter is more than just a disproportionate russian guy, he’s actually an intellectual that can do advanced trigonometry as well as high level mathematical calculations that he often uses to contemplate the human race’s existence… BUT FUCK THAT he’s gonna shoot everyone with his big ol’ machine gun! Next up we meet Private Ryan, a loud guy with a bazooka who hires Michael J. Fox to follow him around on the battlefield to film him shootin’ people, which is historically known as the most gruesome war ever fought on TF2 soil. This guy’s crazy, he thinks his grenades are little dolls and makes up stories of them walkin’ around and.. Oh. Oh. Oh this game is rated M for mature guys don’t look at this. The movie ends with Ryan remembering this one epic time that he got a random crit and then taunted afterwards, and an unforeseen twist that no one saw coming; it turns out that who he was talking to the entire movie… Was all a bunch of severed heads. O MY GOD, I give Shaving Private Ryan; 5 bags of popcorn. Just an amazing film. In the sequel we’re introduced to my personal favorite character: Hardhat Jones. Ya know I love this guy because he plays guitar, and I LOVE GUITAR. Some of my favorite musics, have guitars in em’. Um he spent the entire video taking song requests from audience. “Play Stairway to Heaven!” “NO!” “REVER! REVER! REVER!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”. Little does the crowd know that Hardhat Jones doesn’t take requests, and he only plays songs from the greatest band of all time; Coheed and Cambria. Coheed and Cambria starts playing Next up we meet Pirate, he’s just an old salty dog. Always walkin’ around like “Why’s the rum gone?” and basically just lookin’ for that booty, “Arg! Ya know why they call me Pirate? ‘Cause I’ll make ye walk the plank!”. All of a sudden he sees his friends walk around the corner and he’s like “Oh no! I told Stacy I couldn’t go to the mall because I had to study for geometry!” So he books it out of there to avoid that late awkward moment but it’s too late. Stacy and the gang catches up to him and are all like “I thought you said you couldn’t go to the mall??” “MALL THIS FUCKERS!” and they ALL DIE because Pirate will literally kill people to get out of an awkward conversation. Next movie there’s this guy called Boston, who goes on an undercover secret mission to the enemy castle. Somehow dodging bullets from a sentry gun (despite them supposed to have perfect aim and tracking..) and then he wrestles Pootis for a baloney sandwich. Umm what happens next is a.. Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen The Adventures of Boston the Rise of the Quick Fast Boy Wonder!” I highly suggest you turn the video off now, so okay you have been warned. So in the end of the movie he gets the baloney sandwich. some Brookyln song? The short that came right after that one is about everyone’s favorite sitcom dad: William Cheese! Who drives around spyin’ on people undressing through their open windows like a big ol’ perv. When asked why he only looks at men undressing he’s like “I’m not gay I swear! I can just appreciate the male physique!” But nobody buys it and he calls his dad and he’s like “DAd! Everyone thinks I’m gay! What to I dO!?” and his dad is all like “Son, you ARE gay.” YMCA starts playing The next short is the very first sponsored TF2 short, this one is funded by McDonalds to star everyone’s favorite meal stealer: The Hamburglar! In this movie, The Hamburglar tells an epic tale about the time he went to go find the Secret Cheeseburger of Lost Legend in which he fights Billy Cheese who is actually the holder of the Cheese Key. That’ll get him to the Cheddar Dungeon, with the dungeon master none other than Hardhat Jones! And The Hamburglar is all like “I’d like to make a request, DIE!” and then he fights the final boss the evil Dr. Crentist! Who is the master of karate, but then the hand man does a karate chop that steals the doctors face! And kills him in one hit, and steals the special glasses that’ll let him see the map to the Secret Cheeseburger of Lost Legend. When Hamburglar gets to the good part, Private Ryan is all like “This story SUCKS!” and he blows his FUCKIN’ HEAD OFF. “Well, I guess he should have ordered the Happy Meal.” Movie credits After that film received world wide critical acclaim, audiences demanded a spin off featuring evil Dr. Crentis. So next up we got Dr. Crentist: Origins, the doctor tricks Pootis into getting on his massage table and does EVIL experiments on him while the big dummy just watches him and doesn’t even care because all he can think about doing is shooting his big ol’ machine gun. “Ah I’ll just plug this night light into your heart so you’ll have a brighter heart okay?” “DUH okay DUH” “Uhh I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “SHUT UP PIGEON! HAHAHAHA! LET’s GO GET A CHEESEBURGER!” Yeah turns out this one was also sponsored by McDonalds, so Dr. Crentis and Pooter-9000 with his new robo heart and go outside to get their ass to Mickey Ds because they got hella munchies! “DR CRENTIS! SUPERSIZE ME DOOD!” “I GOTCHU FAM!” Making Medicine cover starts playing *“I’M GONNA GET A CHEESEBURGER!” *and that’ll be 5.99 at the second window The next movie is all about the backstory of one of TF2’s most beloved characters: The Gas Man. “I used to remember when the Gas Man was cool, he used to give me candy.” “One time, The Gas Man said my mask looked really nice, I almost cried because it was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” “Uh, I’m scared of The Gas Man because he used to be nice, but now he’s meeaan.” In reality The Gas Man is a really cool guy, he just runs around blowing bubbles at people’s faces and locking them up in airtight presents. Gas Man turns out to be one of the most misunderstood characters in the whole franchise because people give him shit all the time because he thinks Pinky Pie is the best pony. WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?! AppleJack is obviously the best pony. After we got all the origin stories out the way we get our very first TV movie called: Christmas with the Yanks where Pootis gets to experience his first winter wonderland. sniff sniff “What’s that smell? It smells like… A SNOWBALL FIGHT!” Pootis then recruits his best friend Boston for his snowball team because everyone in school knows that Boston can throw a snowball better than anyone else in the Fourth Grade. Then they walk really really slowly to Private Ryan and Pirate house to totally beat them with a snowball surprise. Uh oh! But guess what? The prank is actually not real and you guys are invited to our snowball team! “Oh my god you got us real good.” So they keep walking around as slowly as humanly possible recruiting other members along the way so they can have the most epic snowball fight team on the block. Finally they see a big ol’ tank full of the neighboring school’s snowball team. “Come on out ya cowards. Show us what ye got ya big dorks!” EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH COUHHHH Mann vs Machine starts playing * “Oh hoho, now you fucked up. Now you gon be fuckin’ OWNED! WE THE MASTERS OF SNOWBALL FIGHTS BITCHES, AND WE COMIN’ FOR YOU!” *Pootis screech

[wingskribes-blog]

Baby Driver: I Was Not Fully Prepared for This... (18/20)

You should know, I am not qualified to properly review this movie.               

       Any avid reader of my blog will have noted by now that my reviews focus pretty heavy on story-mechanics. Obviously I talk about plot. I talk about characters—usually how they affect and relate to the story though. And yes, I talk about visuals and acting, action and humour; I talk about music. But much of this gets little more than a perfunctory nod as I go on to describe how ‘the laser battle on the landing platform added nothing to the film’ or that, ‘the metaphor is the monster’.  Because for me, it almost always comes down to the writing. (This is where I live, after all.) I like to discuss HOW a story works when it works, and why it doesn’t when it doesn’t. This is where I feel comfortable. The problem here, is story is only one small part of what makes Baby Driver a great movie.

 This is because Baby Driver is not so much a film as it is a choreographed dance. There are not just people doing the dancing here, though. There are cars screeching out to the far side of insanity. There are guns hammering a tempo your pulse can’t help but follow. There are camera angles and cuts, colours and set-pieces, ebbing and flowing in precision rhythm, with calculated intensity. I’ve heard say that the film is a brilliant musical. It’s not. Music’s super important to it and it’s pretty goddam good music too. But Baby Driver isn’t just a vehicle for the great music that’s in it. It rides the music. Like a dance.

 The fact of the matter is, Baby Driver is executed with such a high level technical filmmaking skill that my self-learned understanding of story mechanics is WOEFULLY inadequate to dissect it. You need an experienced editor, director, or art director. Maybe a choreographer. It’s an Edgar Wright film after all. (Click the link to get an inkling of how such a work should be examined.)

  So what can I talk about? The usual stuff:

1)      The film is elegantly plotted. Two parallel arcs centered on a single protagonist (Baby), one neck deep in a world of crime and violence, the other a spring of hope, redemption, and tender possibility. Each step raises (and sharpens) the stakes, even as it draws him deeper in, until the two worlds, inevitably crash together.

2)      The acting is fantastic. I was surprised how much I enjoyed Ansel Elgort as Baby. Kevin Spacey and Jon Hamm are particularly great as really bad guys who you just want to like all the same. And … well … everyone else is phenomenal in it too. And why not? They all had such great…

3)      Characters to work with. Every damn character vies to steal each scene they’re in. They’re all faceted. They’re all fascinating. They’re all fun to watch. This is in no short measure due to the sharp, snappy dialogue , which is pretty much to be expected in any Edgar Wright flick.

  As for the rest (and there is so much more) … I’m sorry. I don’t know enough about filmmaking, to do it justice, enough about dance, visual composition, or music. I know enough to see that Edgar Wright knows though. And if you like car chases or gun fights, or beautiful cinematography, great music, or sharp clever style, or if you just like fun movies, I would have to recommend Baby Driver

[multifandom-hoes]

The Guardian from Afar

Member: Rap Monster // BTS

Main Plot: They have to get the money before their family can suffer.

Short Summary: A leader was supposed the most composed figure in a gang, meanwhile NamJoon had long since lost his cool.

A/N: Took me like forever to write this. Sorry, @kawaii-hedgehog, but I still hope you’ll find this as enjoyable as the previous ones xD

Words: 2.3k

/ SeokJin // YoonGi // HoSeok // NamJoon // JiMin // TaeHyung // JeongGuk /

“NamJoon, wouldn’t it be a great thing to have an invisible red tie of fate with the person you are destined to be with; to know that somewhere in this world, there is someone out there, waiting for you just as you wait for them?” her sleepy voice asked as she was hunched over, supposedly studying.

“In a romantic perspective, sure, but in reality, it would only hurt you more at the end.”  He answered curtly, shutting his book and sending her a fleeting glance. “Why? Thinking about marriage already?” it was a childish jab at her, the kind that they always played upon each-other, only this time there was silence as his reply. “Wait, seriously?” his eyes widened in shock, and his heart swelled with pain. “Aren’t you a little bit too young for that?”

She sighed disdainfully and pushed off her `Psychology on the human behaviour` books to the side. “I have one too many debts nowadays; can’t keep up with them, either. Marriage seems like the only way out of this mess, you know?”

His voice seemed to shut down unwillingly, and his eyes darkened. “What about your family?”

She sneered, but then ruffled her hair and buried her face into her forearms. “Yeah, I don’t think so… Mom would be all in for agreeing with my marriage, dad probably doesn’t even care… He never did, really. They can’t support me, anyway; they can’t even support themselves.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and spoke, “And of course you wouldn’t accept my help, would you?”

She made a disgusted face when she looked at him, as if reeled back completely from such a thought. “No way! No, no, no!” adamantly, she shook her head and flailed her arms everywhere, making him release some of his tension and chuckle in the end.

“It was worth a try.” He grinned and put his philosophy books back into his drawer, getting ready for bed.

“No, it wasn’t…” she grumbled.

He smiled an easy-going grin over his shoulder and began walking to his bedroom, signing with bliss once his bed came into view and he could allow himself to fall into the embrace of warmth. “Sorry to say, Friend, but you’ll have to take my help…”

“It’s interesting seeing you in the front lines, Rap Monster.” JiMin grinned, bringing the older man for a firm handshake. “How come you’re here and not at uni?”

NamJoon sent the younger a wishful smile, laced with bits of melancholy. “I need some money, asap.”

Suga whistled from the corner of the darkened room. “Don’t we all?” the comment was a sarcastic one, but everyone within their group had learned to appreciate his remarks; after all, the man only meant good.

True to Suga’s words, NamJoon nodded his head with a grin. “I’ve got us a target, boys.” He chuckled, trying to unwind the tension that he had before any mission. “And we’re moving out now.”

Just like Kim NamJoon was a good philosopher, or a good student of any subject in general, he was also quite skilled at lying, since his `undercover job` required of him to have that useful skill. That skill was being used in the conversation that he was now having with her, as well.

Her eyes were suspiciously narrowed on his peacefully sitting form, trying to see any unnecessary twitch of his facial muscles, or any sign of nervousness at all, but she could see nothing. “But do you not think it suspicious?”

“I think you should use that money while you have the chance to…” he mumbled grumpily, rubbing at his eyes tiredly. “Who cares whose it is? In today’s society, if you have it- then it’s yours.”

“It was you who did the money transfer, wasn’t it?” she asked again, her suspicion eased only slightly, instead guilt of the thought of having to use that money taking over.

“You know better than anyone that I don’t possess such bills. That’s why we’re sharing this apartment.” He was pure lying at this point, but he swore to himself that she will have no knowledge of his dirty handlings, and the blood-coated money in his possession. She had to be protected, and had to be loved; though while he couldn’t provide her with the reassurance for the second point, he could still keep her protected- his title in the underworld allowed him to do that.

She was not getting married any time soon, not under his watch, anyway.

“I still can’t use the money, though…” she grunted and fell into the seat beside him, resting her head on his shoulder like she always did when she was mentally and emotionally drained and with no will-power.

NamJoon’s eyes closed in frustration, but he bit his tongue and willed himself to ask, “So what are you going to do with it?”

“I’ll go to the ward tomorrow, let them know what happened and let them find the account that did the transfer.” She sounded so innocent then, so pure and gentle in her ways, that NamJoon had trouble controlling himself in calling her `cute` right then and there, for her to hear and question him right after.

They lived together, and their mornings, as well as evenings, were commonly spent together, either studying, eating or just watching TV shows, to add to that, she was also studying psychology. How she hasn’t noticed his crush on her was beyond NamJoon’s understanding.

His frustration was forgotten, and in its stead the leader of the gang was beginning to plot other plans on how to make you keep the money.

“NamJoon, you’re in deep shit…” was the first thing that the tired boy heard upon entering his group’s safe house. “Whose money did we steal?” Jin’s tone was blank, as was his expression when he stared onto the ground.

“Some lower groups funds. Why? What happened?”

J-Hope joined the two men in the room, a frown on his face. “What happened to you would be the right question to ask in this situation, Nam…” in his stead followed TaeHyung, and then Suga. “Aren’t you the leader? Aren’t you supposed to have this huge brain?”

“This huge brain that know that smaller groups nowadays are under a jurisdiction of bigger ones, as was Day6. They’re a part of GOT7, and we just stole their money. They want it back.” With his sharp bluntness, Suga never disappointed in his quick and to-the-point explanations. “You fucked up, man.”

For a quick second, NamJoon let the cold chills slip down his spine and he shivered before catching himself. “So what? It’s not as if we’re going to fucking give it back to them…”

“You should have kept your phone turned on…” the current youngest in the room muttered with his eyes downcast.

Just as a question wanted to slip past NamJoon’s lips, J-Hope jumped back into the conversation, saying, “And you should have told us that the money you needed weren’t actually for you…”

“We would have understood…” Jin added, sounding distressed, and now even guilty.

With his eyes even wider than before, the leader’s head spun, eyes not being able to fixate themselves onto one object. “What’s happening?”

Slowly and with calculated steps, Suga approached NamJoon with his phone turned on, and a video on the screen waiting to be played. He knew better than make any sudden moves, for his leader might snap. “Watch this.”

And as the `play` button was pressed and NamJoon got to see the images moving in the phone, the device fell to the ground and he suddenly felt sick. It wasn’t the fact that the sight was cruel and inhumane, though it was quite horrible and bloody, but it was the fact that you were sitting in a chair, tied and half-naked, bites, bruises, wounds and burns on your body as three of the seven men casually lounged around you.

“… There will be no fight…” NamJoon quietly breathed out, already shutting off his emotions and thinking over the countless of possibilities and scenarios for the best plan to make of this situation. “We will just give them the money back.” There was another silent pause as everyone held their breaths and observed the leader. “How much do they want?”

“Ten folds of what we took.”

“And have the negotiations already begun?”

“JiMin is currently on the phone, and JungKook is trying to track them, but the signal’s leading nowhere.”

NamJoon nodded his head and said, “That’s good enough.”

It hurt.

It hurt so much that she had lost a clear mind of where exactly the pain was coming from. Her head was tugged back, not allowed to lower it by the command of what seemed to be the group’s leader.

She didn’t understand how this situation came to be. After walking back to her apartment, she was deprived of sight, her mouth clamped shut as she felt a big dosage of chloroform invade her nostrils. Everything happened so quickly that she even wondered whether this was all a dream.

Only the pain kept her clear of where she was and what kind of reality it was.

She was humiliated and marked, though thankfully, the seven men had the conscience as to not force themselves onto her. Not yet, anyway. After they filmed that video of her simply sitting there, and then talked about sending the footage to NamJoon of all people, she wasn’t sure of anything anymore.

“A gangster, you say…” she wheezed through her pain, eyes crinkling in the corners as she smiled a pained smile. “Cut the crap…” her NamJoon wouldn’t be a person like how these men described him

Her NamJoon was supposed to be a prince on the white horse; so humane and relatable. A friend. A dream man. A dream man simply couldn’t have been a gangster.

“Do we have the money?” NamJoon’s impatient voice asked when the eldest of the group walked into the room.

“We do, now…” Jin replied, obvious tire in his voice as he slumped into the couch, his eyes closing.

It had been one, or was it two days since she was taken; NamJoon couldn’t tell, really, since he hasn’t been sleeping much for the entire time she was not in his apartment.

“Are you coming?” the leader asked, stuffing the small revolver into the holster and securing it around his hips.

“Deal with your own problems, Nam. I just wasted more than half of my dates for that money…” though still tired, now Jin’s voice gained the trigger of annoyance, making NamJoon feel that slight bit of guilt that was soon drowned out by his relief because of the fact that he was going to see you soon.

“Fine.” Simple and efficient- just like how NamJoon liked his answers to be. “If anything goes wrong, you’re the doctor, so rest for now.”

“I see you weren’t in a big hurry to get the money, huh?” JB, the leader of GOT7 chuckled, kicking the bag with money towards his group so that they could count how much was in there. “Is she not that important, then? Should we keep her? Her whimpers were pretty nice; she’ll do for a little pet for our littlie Yuggie, don’t you think?”

NamJoon knew that those were all jabs specifically calculated to aim at his pride and sunshine that was her, though he had no idea how they had known. Nevertheless, his mind going berserk, his gun was soon pointed up and at the temple of JB’s head. “One. More. Word.” He threatened in a low voice. “And I swear to God that you won’t see the light of tomorrow.”

Putting his hands up in the air with mock, JB stepped back and spoke, “Mark’s leaving her back at your apartment, so she’s safe. We’re not as low as you might think we are, Joonie. We don’t go back on our word; we said we’ll give her back to you after you gave us back the money, and we did. If you’ll decide to pull a fuckery like that again, and you won’t ever see her. And that’s a warning.”

NamJoon, crushed and rid of his ego completely, could only watch the backs of the leaving men in anger, his hand limping by his side, the gun dangling dangerously close to falling. “Fucking dicks think they can do whatever the fuck they want…”

Life returned back to normal for her, after months of healing and not seeing NamJoon, though. The man had disappeared completely, apparently dropping out of the university and leaving the apartment solely to her. To say she was crushed was an understatement.

She desperately wanted to see him, hear his voice, feel his skin under her fingertips, and feel his bodily warmth as she leaned her head on his shoulder in the moments of her distress.

But he was gone, and she was alone.

She felt like crying.

He decided to be gone from her life, and at the moment, everything was much harder than planned.

Not seeing her turned out to be the most torturous thing he had ever to go through, mentally anyway. Not seeing her, not hearing her and not feeling her. It was slowly driving him insane.

He didn’t like that.

Now that months passed, he decided to settle for a better solution.

Instead of continuing being her silent guardian from afar, he decided to change. Come back to her a changed man; no longer a gangster but a respectable salary-man living comfortably and by laws. So that he could protect her better; so that he could be with her, and not around her.

[mastcomm]

How an Author and His Husband Host Casual Dinners in Their New York Apartment

It’s tempting to call the author Richie Jackson’s new book, “Gay Like Me,” a memoir or an epistolary — but it’s really a manifesto, a 156-page letter from a gay 54-year-old father to his gay 19-year-old son, Jackson Wong, about what it meant to be gay when the writer was young in New York and what it means to be gay now. In that way, the work is a magnanimous gesture of generational transference: a cheat sheet on queer history; a lecture about safe sex; a call to get angry, harness one’s otherness and ultimately claim individuality. But it’s also one man’s personal history, a timeline of decades spent pursuing fatherhood as well his (nonbiological) L.G.B.T.Q. family at large.

That the author’s eldest son is gay was both unexpected (as such news usually is), and a catalyst for Jackson, who spent his career as a television, film and theatrical producer, to finally commit to paper his thoughts and wisdom: “When I rejoiced that you were gay, I was really wishing for the good parts — the community, the camaraderie, the creativity. The incredible beings who populate our community, who against all odds are themselves,” he writes. “But you can’t be gay with just the good parts: Your life daily will be touched by all the difficult parts, too. The fight, the struggle, the challenges, will make it even more valuable, even more worthy.”

Ultimately, Jackson says, he wanted to write the book that he felt he needed when he was growing up, back when he looked to late-20th-century memoirists, essayists and fiction writers to “learn how to be gay.” So to celebrate the book’s launch, and his own entrance into this lineage of queer authorship, Jackson and his husband, the theater producer Jordan Roth, recently hosted a dinner party at their West Village apartment, gathering some of their favorite contemporary L.G.B.T.Q. writers for conversation over a relaxed meal. It was a broad, varied group, a room full of thinkers who’d followed each other’s work but rarely met in person, from the eminent author Edmund White to the playwright Matthew Lopez to the memoirist and screenwriter Thomas Page McBee. Some guests, like Camille Perri and Raquel Willis, had started their careers in journalism and were now branching out, while others, like Lane Moore and Michael Arceneaux, had published books of essays that were as personal as Jackson’s, whose editor, Jonathan Burnham (the president and publisher of the Harper division of HarperCollins), was in attendance with his husband, Scott Rothkopf, the chief curator at the Whitney Museum of American Art.

Both Jackson and Roth, who is increasingly a fixture on the international fashion circuit, often host guests in their home — they have a system in place, down to the catering and stemware and elegant corner dining table. But the added joy of this night came from shining a brighter light on Jackson and his literary accomplishments: “Now that my book is out, I’m learning how to walk in the world in a completely new way,” Jackson says. “Sometimes I feel reborn.” As the dozen guests milled about, discussing the imperiled state of L.G.B.T.Q.-focused media or regaling White with tales of contemporary gay sex (the children were not in attendance), it became clear that the evening was also a kind of salon, a throwback to an era when gay people gathered exclusively among one another to celebrate and get mad and express their true selves. “When I first got to New York in 1983, you would find yourself in spaces where you were around only gay people,” Jackson says. With assimilation and progress, of course, those sorts of safe spaces have become less customary or necessary. And yet to create your own majority, in a beautiful home over a delicious meal, no less, remains an empowering and vital act of generosity. “It’s obvious,” Jackson adds. “You have to get your gay stories from gay writers.” Here’s how the night came together.

Extend the Cocktail Hour

Roth and Jackson like to invite a group of people over “just because it’s Thursday night — or who don’t know each other, or who have no reason to find each other at the same table,” Jackson says, which necessitates building in extra time at the beginning of the party to welcome everyone, extend introductions and allow people to get comfortable with each other in their corner living room, where through the wide windows you can see the city’s lights glinting off the Hudson River. On this particular occasion, guests spent much of the evening configuring themselves in small groups, weaving between each other: White and Lopez discussed the legacy of AIDS, Roth and Willis complimented each other’s looks, Perri and McBee compared notes about Hollywood. Inviting everyone to socialize before sitting around the table meant that the dinner itself felt like a continuation, rather than the inception, of a sprawling conversation.

Go Family-Style, but on the Side

The table was arrayed, simply, with Calvin Klein glassware and plates and flatware from the Italian company Match. However, Jackson and Roth prefer to present their meals, which are prepared by their own culinary team, nonchalantly in a banquet-like spread on the nearby sidebar. This approach to family-style dining limits clutter and prevents the food from being the sole focus of a meal, letting human interaction take center stage. It also allowed guests to follow their own dietary restrictions and preferences with minimal fuss, as everyone created their own colorful plates of, say, citrus-glazed salmon — “I would date this salmon,” Willis joked — or Spanish-spiced chicken, farro with porcini mushrooms, shawarma-roasted purple cauliflower and mixed greens crowned with edible flowers. “We always do buffet because we feel it’s more casual,” Jackson says. “We want it to feel not so stodgy.”

Outsource Dessert

Though a pastry chef baked a few treats to celebrate the release of Jackson’s book — including a seven-layer cake with fresh raspberries, plus a chocolate-and-orange layer cake and white chocolate torte that were both vegan and gluten-free — the couple typically ends such parties with a bounty of their favorite baked goods from a rotating roster of iconic New York bakeries and chocolatiers. For this one, they brought in chewy chocolate chip and dark-chocolate “explosion” cookies from Mah Ze Dahr bakery in the West Village, plus double-chocolate gluten-free pecan cookies from the famed Dominique Ansel, whose shop is also nearby. Guests couldn’t stop passing around the cakes and cookie plates — proof that, sometimes, it’s better to leave a few key details in the hands of pros.

Decorate With Proportions in Mind

“Our entire dining room, which Jordan created, is designed to encourage intimate conversations,” Jackson says. The custom table in polished concrete is longer and narrower than is typical so that people can form intimate groups and actually hear each other — its dimensions and gray color evoke a New York City sidewalk. The chairs are vintage Steiner, but reupholstered in a sumptuous-but-comfortable Castel “teddy bear” fabric. Flowers are nonnegotiable, of course, but this night’s arrangements — peony and orchid varieties in red and pink (the hues of which matched Roth’s sweater), clustered in small bunches in amber apothecary bottles by the florist Frank Fiore — were a reminder that a single, low line of blooms adds visual interest without being a distraction.

Switch Up the Seating

For dinner, guests were assigned places via simple name cards; the hosts separated themselves and made interesting calculations about who should sit next to whom. Though Jackson and Roth were at opposing ends, their final party trick was to swap seats halfway through the meal, which provided an unexpected jolt of energy to conversation that was, perhaps, lagging a bit between bites of food. It’s a dead-simple, foolproof idea to steal: “Did you notice, after the dinner, nobody got up from the table?” Jackson recalls. “Everybody stuck around and kept talking — perhaps because it was so fun to watch Edmund White hold court.”

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[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jeff York on The Establishing Shot: HOPKINS AND PRYCE DUEL WITH DISTINCTION IN “THE TWO POPES”

Original caricature by Jeff York of Jonathan Pryce and Anthony Hopkins in THE TWO POPES (copyright 2019)

Lush locations in cathedrals, Italian gardens, the streets of Rome, not to mention extended flashbacks showing the early religious life of Father Jorge Bergoglio, they are all on display in the beautifully photographed new film THE TWO POPES. No matter, such a two-hander comes down to its central characters and how the duo in the title sit across from each other and talk. Even with all the gorgeous window dressing, these two characters, and the two actors playing them are the sight to see here. And in playing Pope Benedict and Cardinal Bergoglio, Sir Anthony Hopkins and Jonathan Pryce give two of the year’s most compelling performances, making every moment of their squaring off with each other into a fascinating battle of wills. The stakes are the future of the Catholic Church in 2013, and the fight for its future makes for both a crackling drama and an incredibly inspiring one too.

Director Fernando Meirelles (CITY OF GOD, THE CONSTANT GARDENER) wisely cast Hopkins and Pryce as they are both actors who can be fierce and intense barely moving a muscle. Indeed, the two priests they’re playing are not exactly men given to bombast and tantrum. But these two actors mix it up nonetheless with the subtlety of how they hold their gaze, tilt their bodies, and hesitate before speaking their lines.  In fact, the best part of both performances lies in how they listen to each other. Those silences speak volumes.

For the audience, watching such sparring is like watching water simmer to a boil.  Still, neither actor showboats or tries to trump the other. If anything, both underplay, especially Hopkins, who keeps his potential to explode hidden well underneath his fancy dress whites. His character Benedict is a conservative, on the losing side of modernity, whereas Bergoglio is progressive, and how the church deals with the ever-burgeoning molestation scandal amongst the priesthood is the primary focus of their tete-a-tete.

When voting on the new pope in 2005, Cardinal Ratzinger bested Bergoglio, a close victory for the hardliners. Ultimately, it was the wrong move for the times, with the more traditional agenda ending up coming off as incredibly tin-eared to the changing times and causing thousands of parish members to flee. Now, Benedict is facing how to lead a flock that he’s lost, and to make matters worse, his health is failing. He’s even gone blind in one eye. He literally and figuratively cannot see how he can change his years of orthodoxy to address the new needs of the future church.

That’s where Bergoglio comes in. Benedict has summoned him to the Vatican to discuss heading up a reform agenda. Unbeknownst to the Pope, however, is that the Argentinian cardinal wants to resign as he’s grown frustrated with the exact failures of Rome to act with a more modern touch. This leads to all kinds of ping-ponging banter in the first hour, underscored by neither man wanting to look too vulnerable, or come off as too rude.

It’s exceedingly clever of Anthony McCarten’s script, adapted from his play The Pope, to have these two virtuous men refrain from being wholly honest. That approach turns the first half of the film into a comedy of manners. Amongst the green gardens and ornate rooms, these two dodge and weave each other almost like pugilists, albeit one who must walk with a cane (Benedict) and the other with diminished lung capacity.

Still, as their meeting progresses, so does their friendship and honesty. Hopkins is especially good at conveying the shock when he must recognize certain truths his underling tosses his way. Hopkins’ eyes tell so much of Benedict’s story, widening in surprise at truths he’d rather not see and then looking away from them in shame. As for Pryce, he uses his eyebrows deftly, raising them ever-so-slightly to convey amusement or anger. Meirelles keeps his camera oh-so-close to the two men to catch all the nuance chasing across their expressive faces; faces as exciting to see in action as most chase scenes in an actioner.

In the second hour, after arguing about whether the church should be more forgiving of topics it has been adamantly opposed to in the past – divorce, priest’s marrying, homosexuality – Benedict’s motives are put on the table. He realizes that the church must be more progressive and that his health issues will not help it get there. He suggests a transition of power to his colleague. Bergoglio is flattered, but worries about his own faith, one tortured by a past in Argentina where he failed to stop the fascists from wrecking the country. With extended flashbacks showing the young priest (played well by Juan Minujin, a genuine ringer for Pryce), we see the backstory of a man who’s always struggled with his faith and where it fits in the modern world.

The flashbacks are a calculated gamble, vivid and memorable, though stealing from some of the interaction between the two actors. Nonetheless, they move along deftly, and get out of the way for the third act, returning to the two grand men. For those not vested in religion or the papacy, the film still should still enthrall as it is a moving portrait of power, aging, and change.

The idea that one can change at any age harkens back to Dickens’ A Christmas Carol in its way. The film endorses the powers of individuals to change their lives and those around them. And the movie is a ringing endorsement of character driving story, within both this fascinating story and the two incredible talents bringing these exceptional men to life. What a lovely gift for the holidays.

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[thebookrat]

I mentioned in another post recently (actually, maybe this is going up first, so maybe I will mention in another post... I've been writing and scheduling in so many posts - for me - that I don't honestly know!) that I have a goal of featuring more books more often, and in more ways, as a general rule on this blog. One of those ways -- and let me know if you like this idea -- is to do a monthly post highlighting some of the books that are coming out that month, that would be my top picks if someone handed me a bookstore gift card and said, "Go crazy." So here are my picks for April. Some are already out, and some will be out very soon. A couple of these are either on my shelves, or will be featured in some other way around these parts very soon. (Ahem, giveaway of one of these coming soon and/or possibly already up, depending on when you're reading this, and when I've scheduled things for! See note above... ;D) Take a look, let me know what you think, and if I've missed any April, 2018 releases that I DEFINITELY need to have, please tell me in the comments! And of course, each cover is >clickable< so you can find out more or pick a copy up! This is in my TBR for this month!

A captivating novel about two extraordinary teens, and the unsolvable problem of life after high school. Sophia is smart, like genius-calculator-brain smart. But there are some things no amount of genius can prepare you for, and the messiness of real life is one of them. When everything she knows is falling apart, how can she crack the puzzle of what to do with her life? Joshua spends his time honing magic tricks and planning how to win Sophia’s heart. But when your best trick is making schoolwork disappear, how do you possibly romance a genius? In life and love, timing is everything. Published April 1st 2018 by Peachtree Publishers

I mean... everyone's buzzing about this.

Jane McKeene was born two days before the dead began to walk the battlefields of Gettysburg and Chancellorsville—derailing the War Between the States and changing America forever. In this new nation, safety for all depends on the work of a few, and laws like the Native and Negro Reeducation Act require certain children attend combat schools to learn to put down the dead. But there are also opportunities—and Jane is studying to become an Attendant, trained in both weaponry and etiquette to protect the well-to-do. It’s a chance for a better life for Negro girls like Jane. After all, not even being the daughter of a wealthy white Southern woman could save her from society’s expectations. But that’s not a life Jane wants. Almost finished with her education at Miss Preston’s School of Combat in Baltimore, Jane is set on returning to her Kentucky home and doesn’t pay much mind to the politics of the eastern cities, with their talk of returning America to the glory of its days before the dead rose. But when families around Baltimore County begin to go missing, Jane is caught in the middle of a conspiracy, one that finds her in a desperate fight for her life against some powerful enemies. And the restless dead, it would seem, are the least of her problems. Published April 3rd 2018 by Balzer + Bray

I was a big fan of McCarthy's You Were Here.

Fandom and first love collide for Iris on the film set for her grandmother’s famous high-fantasy triology—perfect for readers of Fangirl! Unlike the rest of the world, Iris doesn't care about the famous high-fantasy Elementia books written by M. E. Thorne. So it's just a little annoying that M. E. Thorne is her grandmother—and that Iris has to deal with the trilogy's crazy fans. When Iris gets dropped in Ireland for the movie adaptation, she sees her opportunity: if she can shut down production, the Elementia craze won't grow any bigger, and she can finally have a normal life. Not even the rascally-cute actor Eamon O'Brien can get in her way. But the crew's passion is contagious, and as Iris begins to find herself in the very world she has avoided her whole life, she realizes that this movie might just be amazing… Published April 3rd 2018 by Sourcebooks Fire

*tries not to want book solely based on cover* *fails* *reads synopsis and still wants book, is happy* *realizes book is only in AUS, is sad*

Two very different girls, and one giant hoax that could change – or ruin – everything. Harriet Price has the perfect life: she's a prefect at Rosemead Grammar, she lives in a mansion, and her gorgeous girlfriend is a future prime minister. So when she risks it all by creating a hoax to expose the school's many problems – with help from notorious bad-girl Will Everheart, no less – Harriet tells herself it's because she's seeking justice. And definitely not because she finds Will oddly fascinating. But as Will and Harriet's campaign heats up, it gets harder for them to remain sworn enemies – and to avoid being caught. As tensions burn throughout the school, how far will they go to keep their mission – and their feelings for each other – a secret? Published April 2nd 2018 by Hardie Grant Egmont

I don't know that I've ever come across a more unique-sounding book.

In an alternate reality a lot like our world, every person’s physical size is directly proportional to their wealth. The poorest of the poor are the size of rats, and billionaires are the size of skyscrapers. Warner and his sister Prayer are destitute—and tiny. Their size is not just demeaning, but dangerous: day and night they face mortal dangers that bigger richer people don’t ever have to think about, from being mauled by cats to their house getting stepped on. There are no cars or phones built small enough for them, or schools or hospitals, for that matter—there’s no point, when no one that little has any purchasing power, and when salaried doctors and teachers would never fit in buildings so small. Warner and Prayer know their only hope is to scale up, but how can two littlepoors survive in a world built against them? A brilliant, warm, funny trip, unlike anything else out there, and a social novel for our time in the tradition of 1984 or Invisible Man. Inequality is made intensely visceral by an adventure and tragedy both hilarious and heartbreaking. Published April 3rd 2018 by Amulet Books

Welp. I need it.

The ancient land of Éirinn is mired in war. Ciara, Princess of Mide, has never known a time when Éirinn’s kingdoms were not battling for power, or Northmen were not plundering their shores. The people of Mide have thankfully always been safe because of Ciara’s unearthly ability to control her enemies’ minds and actions. But lately, a mysterious crow has been appearing to Ciara, whispering warnings of an even darker threat. Although her clansmen dismiss her visions as pagan nonsense, Ciara fears this coming evil will destroy not just Éirinn, but the entire world. Then the crow leads Ciara to Leif, a young Northman leader. Leif should be Ciara’s enemy, but when Ciara discovers that he, too, shares her prophetic visions, she knows he’s something more. Leif is mounting an impressive army, and with Ciara’s strength in battle the two might have a chance to save their world. With evil rising around them, they’ll do what it takes to defend the land they love…even if it means making the greatest sacrifice of all. Published April 10th 2018 by HarperTeen

Sometimes I just really crave romances that are fraught with tension and obstacles and SO MUCH HEADBUTTING.

A teen werewolf finally meets her destined soulmate only to discover that he's not quite what she expected in this steamy debut romance. She's met her mate . . . and he's met his match. Megan Ross has been waiting her whole life for her mate to come and sweep her off her feet. But the wolf she meets on the beach is NOT the sweet gentle boy she's been dreaming of. Instead, he's a warrior, one whose suffering has led him to lock his heart away in a prison as cold and hard as a diamond, who fights to resist the bond and their deep sexual attraction. Far from home, with a soulmate who is still a stranger, Megan learns that the path to true love isn't quite as straight and easy as she thought . . . Published April 10th 2018 by Swoon Reads

Spare, windswept, western -- these words didn't make it into my buzzwords list. But they should have.

Ten years ago, a horrifying disease began spreading across the West Texas desert. Infected people—shakes—attacked the living and created havoc and destruction. No one has ever survived the infection. Daisy Wilcox, known as Willie, has been protecting her siblings within the relatively safe walls of Glory, Texas. When Willie’s good-for-nothing father steals a fortune from one of the most dangerous shake-hunters in town, she finds herself on the hook for his debt. With two hunters, including the gruff and handsome Ben, to accompany her, she sets out across the desert in search of her father. But the desert is not kind to travelers, and not everyone will pass through alive. Western meets horror for this riveting story about survival, family, and inner strength. Tense, short chapters propel readers from one action-packed scene to the next, while Willie’s distinctive, introspective voice deepens the emotional stakes with every turn of the page. High concept and character-driven, Emma Berquist’s debut will satisfy fans of The Magnificent Seven, Rae Carson’s Walk on Earth a Stranger, and HBO’s Westworld. Published April 10th 2018 by Greenwillow

Psst! You can enter to win this!

Fourteen-year-old Avery Armisted is athletic, rich, and pretty. Sixteen-year-old Kayla Butts is known as “butt-girl” at school. The two girls were friends as little kids, but that’s ancient history now. So it’s a huge surprise when Avery’s father offers to bring Kayla along on a summer trip to Spain. Avery is horrified that her father thinks he can choose her friends—and make her miss soccer camp. Kayla struggles just to imagine leaving the confines of her small town. But in Spain, the two uncover a secret their families had hidden from both of them their entire lives. Maybe the girls can put aside their differences and work through it together. Or maybe the lies and betrayal will only push them—and their families—farther apart. Published April 10th 2018 by Simon Schuster Books for Young Readers

I am just so. damn. fascinated. by everything about this.

How do you live after death? Julie Nolan is a pretty average girl with pretty average problems. She’s been in love with her best friend, Lorelei, ever since they met in grade three. Only Lorelei doesn’t know about it — she’s too busy trying to set Julie up with Henry, her ex, who Julie finds, in a word, vapid. But life gets more complicated when Julie comes home to find her mother insisting that her heart is gone. Pretty soon it becomes clear: Julie’s mom believes that she has died. How is Julie supposed to navigate her first year of high school now, while she’s making midnight trips to the graveyard to cover her mother with dirt, lay flowers and make up eulogies? And why is Henry the only person Julie feels comfortable turning to? If she wants to get through this, Julie’s going to have to find the strength she never knew she had, and to learn how to listen to both her mom’s heart and her own. Published April 10th 2018 by HarperCollins

Again, love the cover, only in AUS. =/

Kit Learmonth would rather die than grow up and leave Neverland … When she was twelve, Kit Learmonth watched her parents drown in a storm as their boat sailed over the Tranter Sink Hole. Now seventeen, Kit doesn’t remember the incident, and she doesn’t want to. In fact, her only clear memories from before her parents’ death are of the fantastical stories of pirates and mermaids that she and her dad invented about the small island where she grew up, a place she calls Neverland. Following Kit’s parents’ deaths, her uncle and guardian, Doc, transformed the island into a boarding school for mentally ill teenagers and sent Kit away to school on the mainland. But when Kit tries and fails to end her life, Doc brings her home to the island and places her in the care of his colleague, Dr Hannah Ward. Resisting her treatment, Kit instead pulls her friends deeper into her world of make-believe. It’s only when Kit and her new boyfriend, Rohan, take the fantasy too far and land themselves in very real danger that her faith in Neverland is shaken, and Kit must find a way back to reality. Published April 1st 2018 by Penguin Random House Australia

Am I the only one getting serious dark fairy tale retelling vibes from this?

Theodosia was six when her country was invaded and her mother, the Queen of Flame and Fury, was murdered before her eyes. Ten years later, Theo has learned to survive under the relentless abuse of the Kaiser and his court as the ridiculed “Ash Princess.” Pretending to be empty-headed and naive when she's not enduring brutal whippings, she pushes down all other thoughts but one: Keep the Kaiser happy and he will keep you safe. When the Kaiser forces her to execute her last hope of rescue, Theo can't keep her feelings and memories pushed down any longer. She vows revenge, throwing herself into a plot to seduce and murder the Kaiser's warrior son with the help of a group of magically gifted and volatile rebels. But Theo doesn't expect to develop feelings for the Prinz. Or for her rebel allies to challenge her friendship with the one person who's been kind to her throughout the last hopeless decade: her heart's sister, Cress. Cornered into impossible choices and unable to trust even those who are on her side, Theo will have to decide how far she's willing to go to save her people and how much of herself she's willing to sacrifice to become queen. Expected publication: April 24th 2018 by Delacorte Books for Young Readers

Did I miss anything amazing? Or is there a book coming up in the next few months that you're dying for?  Let me know in the comments! via The Book Rat