#like sure you dont hold those beliefs but youre still doing the active harm

[technicolorxsn]

wish I could force some people to read mother night tbh

[shattered-catalyst]

Intro to OCD for the RPC part 1/?

This is a balmy 6 page document on the VERY BASICS of OCD by a person who has had OCD for over 15 years and knows their shit.

If you want to write a character who has OCD this series is going to be a good starting point. If you dont know much about OCD I encourage you to read it so you can be an ally to those of us who have the disorder.

OCD is made into a cultural joke and when there isnt the ‘Obsessive Cat disorder’ bullshit its an angst off with other people and their non-ocd intrusive thoughts. Its different. Do your research and be an ally.

This will cover the very very basics. The next post will look into subtypes of OCD and how those are experienced.

 Whomst can write it? 

Literally anyone as long as you 

● Do so respectfully and not make a mockery of the disorder and the harm it causes in peoples lives 

● Dont make OCD the characters single thing or boil them down to it entirely ● Do respect the experiences and opinions of muns who have the disorder if they have concerns about your portrayal.

● Dont milk it for angst - unless you have OCD in which case release some of your angst.

● Dont try and say you know what intrusive thoughts are because they have *insert any other neuro a-typical thing here* 

● Dont police how Muns who have OCD choose to portray it. Its our experience not yours. I like to write out my characters OCD as I experience OCD so my experiences are different from other muns. OCD is very diverse in its effects but always ask if you arent sure.

. What isnt OCD? 

● Cleanliness or organization- OCD is NEVER an adjective. 

● Planning/ Hypervigilance/Organized/Methodical 

● Turning light switches on and off, unplugging things (find out more on later time)

 ● “I have to organize my pencils otherwise it bothers me” “ I have to make sure my mattress is straight” “ my nails have to be the same length” are all typical responses from people WHO DO NOT have OCD. 

● Making sure objects are lined up neatly 

● Having things go in a particular order like the letters CDO as the joke goes

● Really loving Cats, Corgis, or Christmas; if you own any of these items i urge you to reflect and also send me 10$ (jk but do reflect)

The Barest minimum 

Google OCD this will be an advanced version of OCD. This will be long but if you want to be aware of others or want to write the character you will read it. 

OCD is made of Obsessions. Triggers. Anxiety, Compulsions/Rituals.

1. Obsessions are the thoughts 

2. Triggers are the object/person/image/situation/smell ETC 

3. The Anxiety occurs is at uncomfortable levels to the point of panic or anxiety attacks

 4. Compulsions or Rituals are performed 

*There is a variant of OCD called Pure O. In this individuals have the obsessions triggers and anxiety but there is NO compulsion or ritual. This is still valid OCD. 

Obsessions are the precursors to the flawed unwanted and harmful intrusive thoughts: 

Im going to use you so you really understand this because its important.If you misunderstand this you are basically encouraging a mental health condition and dont get a sticker for reading this far. 

First check out this link as it has ALL the subtypes and examples. 

Obsessions can be hidden by the intrusive thought and teasing them out can be difficult to do if you have the disorder because well its a disorder okay thats why. It boils down to ‘i could harm someone’ ‘i could cause harm’ ‘ i may have accidentally harmed ___’ ‘ i may accidentally harm’ etc 

This is the flawed powerful belief that predate the Intrusive Thought. 

Intrusive thoughts appear in every brain on earth. They are not special or unusual however intrusive thoughts with OCD get stuck in the brain- meaning they stay there no matter what you do. So yes , they are different from intrusive thoughts in other conditions. 

The thing about OCD is that it latches on to what you hold dear; it may be you are a caring person and love children and animals- your OCD would give you intrusive violent or sexual thoughts or images. These are horrible to experience. They are not welcome nor appreciated and there is no benefit or positive side to having them. 

If say social justice is something you hold dear your ocd may take the form of intrusive thoughts of slurs, jokes, visuals etc. These are horrible to experience and lead to high levels of anxiety and are not positive nor beneficial to have in any way shape or form. 

Maybe you would not harm someone or you value others; your OCD may present as graphic intrusive images or thoughts around poisoning, stabbing,accidental..ly murdering (yeah you read that right), hitting, insulting etc someone else 

I must emphasize this because it is critical that people understand POCD: for the sake of those of us who have OCD read this until its burned into your brain. 

This is the fucked up awful Obsessive thought that you are/were/ or could be sexually attracted to children. This is NOT pedophilia. People kill themselves over this because they are afraid that these intrusive thoughts are true. People isolate themselves and dont have families out of fear of harming a child. People take work in different fields or avoid areas with children out of the absolute terror their obsessive thoughts could be true. This is NOT pedophilia. There is NO attraction present.

Most people who experience POCD intrusive thoughts would rather punch a sharknado than even THINK of hurting a kid in any way shape or form. That is why the OCD does its thing it is like having an abusive brain. 

Again for clarity's sake 

If you value social justice -> the intrusive thoughts violate social justice stuff 

If you value animals -> intrusive thoughts come up with harming animals 

If you care about the protection and safety of children -> POCD 

Triggers would be the situation, scenario, object, person,creature, context etc that is related to the Obsession. It can be literally anything. 

What follows is a hell of a lot of anxiety that can range anywhere from discomfort to full on panic attacks. 

Everyone has different intrusive thoughts and everyone experiences different amounts of distress upon being triggered. 

● As a side bar. Do not ever try and expose someone to their triggers or write about a character being exposed to their triggers as a way to help ‘cure them’ or ‘expose them’ to ANYTHING. What you are doing is literally taking someone with a mental illness and shoving them into a breakdown and thats a piece of shit move. Exposure therapy does exist and is done by professionals TRAINED in ERP. My parents did this a lot and I am positive I am not alone in that experience. 

Compulsions or Rituals: Now you may be saying ‘hey i know what those are’ yeah dude me too and I have had ocd for over 15 years and trained in mental health for 7 and guess what. They teach ya wrong. 

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. 

This can be as passive as ‘i am leaving the room’ ‘ i am checking my body sensations’ ‘ i am trying SO HARD TO HEAR MY HEARTBEAT’ .

 It can also be repeating the same thing over and over. To illustrate this I once mentally chanted the same song lyric line on a 3 hour plane ride because otherwise we were all going to die. I took one for the whole team.

It can be somatic things like counting your heart beats, focusing on your breathing, swallowing, staring and not blinking for so many seconds. 

It can be readjusting clothing until the seams fit. It can be checking god yes checking IK its a common trope but it IS a compulsion that has ruined my life and can be as passive as checking my reality or texting for proof my cat is still alive. It can also be checking yourself for assurance you wouldnt do the intrusive thought or that the intrusive thought isnt going to happen.

Compulsions are mentally painful and sometimes physically painful; 

● Washing your hands with scalding water for 5+ minutes can lead to horribly dry and cracking skin to down right BURNS.

● If you do the same movement you can mess up joints and ligaments. So if you pray constantly you may have knee issues from standing and kneeling.

● If your compulsion has you doing movement against an object ie say gripping and regripping something you get callouses. 

● If you compulsively exercise you may get trapped doing something above a healthy amount or say going from not working out to running a five minute mile and wiping out on a treadmill because your brain demanded it. Totally didnt do that... 

● If your compulsions make you rub against any object you can get friction burns and scars. 

To put this in perspective 15 years of compulsions have left my hands and finger joints a complete mess, damaged my arm tendons, friction scars on my arms that only now faded, and scars on my legs from doing too much of an activity. 

Its not lmao I gotta fix these pencils its real agony and real torture. 

In short compulsions and rituals are not fun they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

OCD disrupts relationships with social components such as ; 

Obsessively checking in with partner/friend if things are ‘okay’ (this feels horrible to do too fyi like you KNOW things are fine but you cant NOT because the anxiety is SO BAD), 

Relationship OCD is a WHOLE category itself! this ties into sexuality OCD where your obsessive thoughts prey on your sexuality (regardless of your orientation), your relationship, cheating or being disloyal etc.

OCD causes significant withdrawal from others, fears of being a monster, intense guilt over intrusive thoughts, disgust with yourself over the intrusive thoughts sometimes leading to self punishment. 

OCD leads to strange behavior which more often than not leads to bullying and ostracization. To exemplify this I have an intrusive thought that I have stolen something when I am inside stores, my check-check-check-check-check-recheck! of my pockets gets me store security called so often its criminal.

OCD limits activities that may expose them to triggers or influenced by intrusive thoughts ie: not being able to take the train to work or only getting off at bus stops with even numbers.

OCD impacts where they spend time, who they associate with, what jobs they take or even if they have a family or not

OCD leads to overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, and fear over having intrusive thoughts or images that they experience which causes them to socially isolate or have difficulty in social situations. 

OCD leads to Hyperfixation: like a lot of other things but thankfully it is just hyperfixation and not different from other diagnoses. 

OCD leads to rigidity or structured routines: I have listened to the same CD in my car for 5 years now. Every single day. 5 Years.And Im not okay with that. 

OCD impacts standards we hold ourselves to and others: its like regular perfectionism but like add on 5 extra layers of anxiety! 

OCD according to NIMH statistics 

1.2% Occurrence among US adults 

2.3% Lifetime Prevalence among US adults 

34.8% Of Adults who have OCD suffer moderate impairment to daily functioning 50.6% of Adults who have OCD suffer serious impairment to daily functioning

OCD has strong co-morbidity with the following:

Tourettes Syndrome- is a genetic friend of OCD and if you have tourettes or OCD your chances of having someone else in the family is high

ADHD

Autism 

GAD

Eating Disorders

Depression - this is a big one along with low self esteem because of the intrusive thoughts

Writers like to make jokes about characters “being OCD” well now they have clinical OCD and you should consider fleshing out your character with this information just as you would any other disorder.

Batman (DC)

Riddler (?)(DC)

Domino (Marvel)

 Cyclops (Marvel)

[mithliya]

Okay, so I want to be clear when I say again that white women in the suffragette movement said/did racist things, just as white women in feminists movements today say/do racist things,. Even white anti-racist activists will, at least on occasion, say and do racist things simply by growing up in a white supremacist society. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m disputing that reality. I only mean to illustrate some of the nuance (and why that matters today).

I sent those quotes in an effort to illustrate how the women’s suffrage movement was intertwined with universal suffrage, both white women and black men campaigned for each other’s right to vote. The women’s suffrage organizations grew directly from the basis of abolitionist movements. The initial suffrage (and wider women’s rights) movement was indistinguishable from the civil rights movement. When the 14th/15th amendment was proposed splits in the civil rights movement deepened — both white women and black women (and presumably some black men) campaigned against any amendment that didn’t include women. Similarly, black man and both white and black women favored the 15th amendment even without including women (of any race), who argued that women could wait. Ultimately the latter group saw their wish, and the division resulted in two separate organizations that continued to campaign for women’s suffrage.

The quotes you screen-shotted are undeniably terrible and exemplify the racism within the movements. To be nuanced however, they also span a wide range of individuals — from actual slave owners to women who said something racist but also directly participated in anti-racist activism.

To illustrate (from the quotes you provided):

Rebecca Latimer Felton - terrible human, slave owner, all out white supremacist

Carrie Chapman Catt - she later said “our task will not be fulfilled until the women of the whole world have been rescued from those discriminations and injustices which in every land are visited upon them in law and custom”, lobbied against the word “white” being added to the 19th amendment, and lobbied congress/used her presidency of the League of Women Voters to advocate for people of color and Jews

Elizabeth Cady Stanton - she also founded the Women's Loyal National League that led the largest abolitionist petition drive at the time, organized the American Equal Rights Association a suffrage organization that explicitly supported universal suffrage. The organization split when (mostly) the black men in the organization supported the 15th amendment without advocating for it to be extended to women. (She definitely said racist things around this time, similarly Frederick Douglass, who was both her friend and one of her main critiques at the time, said many sexist things.) The split was later merged back into one organization that she headed.

Anna Howard Shaw - I know very little about her. She definitely said many racist things, but she did champion universal suffrage and campaigned to end racial violence (arguing that universal suffrage would end lynchings). Still, she also failed to condemn racist actions by her peers.

Same as (1)

Belle Kearney - terrible human, slave owner, all out white supremacist

Frances Willard - confusing mix of actively recruiting and working with black women and also promoting racists myth that white women were in danger of black men that facilitated lynchings (due to her “temperance reform”). Also appeared to be more laissez-faire when president of the WCTU since she let conservative states hold on to conservative and/or moderate positions regarding reform for both women’s rights and racial justice.

Same as (1)

As for why it matters today:

No, women definitely won’t have the right to vote revoked for discussing racism in past movements. But there’s a difference between discussing racism, and perpetuating misinformation. One of the main ways the American government disrupted activist movements throughout history was to sow dissension in their ranks. (And the American government/military taught many of these techniques to foreign countries.) An excellent example of this is the COINTELPRO operation, but it’s only the tip of the iceberg. Their goal was to divide and conquer - a movement can’t make progress if it’s busy fighting itself - and poison the public’s opinions of the movements, so as to dissuade new members from joining. (At this point, I want to reassure you that while this may sound like a conspiracy theory, it is very much proven and it/other programs did much harm to domestic and foreign reform movements.)

The myth that the suffragette movement was specifically racist, rather than operating in concert with and emerging from, anti-racist activism contributes to this divide and conquer method of disrupting activism. If you (general you) can convince women of color that the “original feminist movement” (ignoring the ahistorical nature of such the label itself) actively campaigned against them, then it’s much easier to dissuade them from considering feminist activism or to divide activist movements. (And, if it were true, it would be entirely justified!)

Of course, that’s not to say that feminists shouldn’t criticize (or disavow, to the extent possible) white supremacists like Felton or Kearney, or that we shouldn’t discuss and reform the racist sentiments in past and current movements. (In fact, I believe, and expect you do as well, that doing so is not only permissible but necessary, because to deny the racism that did exist in past/current movements would alienate women of color just as much as the idea that the feminism-of-old was solely for white women, and would in fact be an expression of racism in and of itself.)

I hope this clarifies what I’ve been trying to convey.

im surprised about the claim that white women and black men campaigned for each other's right to vote. i was under the impression that the civil rights movement was largely focused on black men and often outright excluded black women having a say, so i don't really know why they would support other women (such as white women) having a say when i heard they didn't support that for black women, who were always black men's biggest supporters.

i do get your point, to a degree-- and i think we agree overall but simply word things differently. i don't think that the women's suffrage movement was Bad and i don't think the white suffragettes back then were like, all evil and more racist than the avg white person in their society. i would say overall, those women were quite forward thinking and progressive for their time. i don't doubt that a significant portion of women were far worse than that, and even opposed women's rights (bc of the society they grew up in where this was a controversial thing). my only argument is that pretending they weren't also racist and had traits worthy of criticism (such as their racism) is innaccurate. a lot of prominent suffragettes were quite racist, and that's not to say that their feminist beliefs lead to that or that women's rights is interwined with racism, but just to point out that even those women who fought for the right to vote for women were not particularly good allies to poc but most specifically black people, and more importantly, black women. i also wanted to point out that being anti-slavery and campaigning against it, did not mean they were generally anti-racism or fighting against racism overall. they were fighting against the worst and most extreme forms of racism in their time, but they were all still racist in their own right. i'd like to reemphasise what i initially shared that you disagree with (+ my tags, and my previous comment on it so as to be fully transparent), which is not that different from what you're saying imo:

now i'm not trying to argue the origin of the movement, what it rose out of, how it relates to racism or anything else; my qualms are with the claim that the suffragettes were not racist. maybe back then, they were closer to allies to black people than most, however they were still quite racist. similarly, since you brought up white allies, white allies today may be the best we have and the best in our time, but they are also still often quite racist themselves.

my main and only point is that these women were still racist, and this is not to discount the women's suffrage movement, i just think that when we deny that aspect of the past then what we're doing is alienating woc. i've noticed a general trend of white women on here saying that white women were targetted by the KKK for example, fixation on stuff that is targeted at white women like 'karen' and placed on equal grounds with calling black women 'laquisha' to berate them, arguments that white women dont have racial privilege, etc and while i don't think the people making such arguments are necessarily coming from a bad place, many woc seeing this will end up feeling like the movement is geared towards white women and does not properly consider & include woc. that's why i take issue with the claim that xyz white female historical figure wasnt racist bc she was pro-slavery abolition, like, sure that must've been really progressive for its time but at the same time it doesn't change that the same woman did work w white supremacists and white supremacy was used as an argument to support white women's suffrage. it probably worked as a strategy and helped pave the way for other women, but its good to acknowledge these issues and criticise them esp since they remain relevant today when people are still indirectly debating how much woc should be considered in feminism.

[fox-steward]

hi, not sure if this blog is active bc im on mobile but you seem v knowledgeable so i hope you are. i have a question if thats ok. ive been id'ing as ftm trans/nb for about 6 years now but havent rlly been able to come out to many ppl or transition at all so im still largely presenting as female. i wouldnt rlly call myself gender critical or anything like that, but i know transitioning is a long & difficult process and im wondering if there is a way to alleviate my dysphoria without going (1/2)

“thru all that. i dont want to transition only to realize that i dont feel better and there was an easier way. in other words, id like to rule out any possibility that im not trans before medically investing in being trans. any chance you have any advice for me? (2/2)”

hey there—still active, if sporadic.

when it comes to healing from dysphoria, there’s no cure-all, no hidden path to healing that you’ve simply yet to uncover. just as there’s no way to guarantee transition will make you happy, there’s no opposite guarantee either. i can only share some of the stuff that has worked for me and some of the hardships i uncovered about living as trans, which i hope you find helpful.

what helps me?

get clear with yourself about what you believe about gender, ideologically. i personally feel, if my beliefs do not stand up to critical thought, if they cannot be supported by rational arguments, then those beliefs are not worth holding on to and i need to let them go. this is what happened to me WRT transness, gender, and all that.

start small—what is gender? is gender innate? do we have gendered souls? how could we have gendered souls if gender is a social construct? okay, so we can’t have gendered souls, so what is gender, if not innate? is gender the social expectations and norms attached to the two sexes? is it possible to break those roles and expectations? does breaking those roles and expectations change anyone’s sex? no—males can behave in typically feminine ways and females in typically masculine ways and that does nothing to change their sex. so what would conceivably make someone (or myself) trans? inhabiting the social roles and expectations of the gender associated with the opposite sex. since we already established that gender isn’t innate and we don’t have gendered souls, there’s no merit in the “born in the wrong body” narrative; it is not possible to be born in the wrong body. we each get one body, no matter how we change it. but if i wasn’t born in the wrong body, why do i feel so uncomfortable with mine, especially with the sexed aspects of it? if you’re female, the likely culprit is misogyny. you don’t actually have to hate women on a conscious level to be suffering from internalized misogyny. we live in a misogynistic world, it saturates everything. if you’re female, it affects almost every factor of how you move through this world—how people treat you, what opportunities you’re given, which behaviors are encouraged for you and which are discouraged, etc. if you are inclined to prefer masculinity—for whatever reason—society will encourage this in males and discourage it in females. having your way of being subtly discouraged all the time can easily lead to feeling disconnected from your body, perhaps even hating it, especially since you know that your way of being would be ENCOURAGED if only your body were male. and that’s when many of us encounter trans ideology that tells us we CAN be male—in fact, we actually were all along! all we have to do is change our bodies drastically with lifelong medication and surgery, all we have to do is trade money and time and health to convincingly imitate the opposite sex—THEN society will finally recognize that our way of being is okay—because we were actually masculine MEN all along, it was simply our female bodies obscuring that. does this feel like a good or healthy trade to you? it doesn’t to me, but i can’t make these decisions for you.

there IS an important caveat, a shortcut that bypasses this bad trade entirely—and that’s realizing that your way of being is ALREADY okay. masculine females and feminine males are healthy and good. it’s not always easy to comfortably BE that way in a society that does not embrace masculinity in women and femininity in men, but the solution is not to change your self, it’s to change the society. and the only way you can do that is by carving out that path—BE a masculine female/woman and you’ll show little girls today that there’s a place for them in this world.

i did try out the trade for myself, however, and i learned a few things you might find useful—maybe these lessons i learned can save you the time and money and pain i’ve already spent.

1) you never actually change sex. you’re always chasing the aesthetic imitation of the opposite sex with transition, but never becoming the opposite sex. in this and so many other ways, transition never ends.

2) passing is conditional. when your sense of self is predicated upon others seeing you a certain way, it can be taken from you in a second. i could be treated like one of the guys for a year, until one of them finds out i was born female. now that he knows, he cannot unknow. now my experience is tied to how he sees me—does he see me as a woman now that he knows? is he comfortable with me in the locker room? it was stressful and uncomfortable for others to have this level of control over my experience of the world and of myself. it’s also out of my control whether he decides to lend manhood to me now—will he use male pronouns with me? will he call me a woman? will he out me to the others? will he sexualize me or sexually assault me based on my female body?

3) as stated above, transition never ends. no matter how well you pass, transition always requires maintenance. you’ll need bloodwork as long as you’re on hormones—that’s time and money you wouldn’t have otherwise spent. you’ll need supplies for your hormone shots—time and money you wouldn’t have spent. there will be instances where you need to disclose your trans status, thus repeating the coming out process infinitely—doctors or EMTs, new intimate partners, friends. this process is exhausting and othering, it’s an ever-present reminder of the fact that you’re trans.

4) medical transition is expensive in terms of money and heath. taking hormones is always a risk. there’s potential for: cardiovascular risk associated with testosterone, vaginal atrophy and sexual side effects, changes to mood (some for the better, some worse), not liking how hormones change your body. then there’s the financial aspect. in the USA at least, this costs money—money for doctor’s visits, money for the hormones themselves, money for the supplies to administer them. there’s risk in any surgery—risk of death or serious complication, loss of function and sensation, improper healing, chronic pain. and of course, the monetary cost associated with surgery. removing the uterus can have lifelong consequences—early onset dimentia, lifelong need for synthetic hormones, osteoporosis.

5) there is no “actually trans.” there’s no meaningful distinction between “true trans” people and others. trans people transition and identify as trans. their dysphoria isn’t any different than mine was. there’s no method for parsing “real dysphoria” from something else. transness is an ideology. i liken it to religion. there are no “real christians” and fake christians, there are only people who believe and those who don’t. that’s the salient difference between myself (detransitioner) and trans people—belief. and if something requires me to believe in it to be real...well that’s a good indication it probably isn’t.

good luck out there. these are heavy questions and weighty struggles. there’s no harm in focusing on other aspects of your life when you’re having trouble answering Big Gender Questions. rooting for you.

[midasinc]

im gonna start by saying that the belief that every woman should be soft and sweet and submissive is incredibly sexist, and boiling eponine's character down to "this is what she should be as opposed to the fanon ---------" is also sexist.

anyway, the fanon depiction of eponine is incredibly abrasive, brash, and violent and i'm not sure how to feel about it. i think part of this stems from having a background of abusive friendships in my life that resulted in physical and mental harm done to me that i still struggle with to this day. i find a lot of similarity in how people write eponine to how i was treated, especially when it comes to harsh language and hitting/punching that gets brushed off as perks of being her friend.

now let me also say that some people are just incredibly physical with their friends. ive had physical friends. if im comfortable with people, i can be an incredibly physical friend. but i dont think that friends should actively punch each other.

i digress

like i said, eponine's fanon depiction strays WAY far from canon and that's not always a problem. people fleshing out a character that DESERVES to be fleshed out and exist as more than a love triangle corner (sort of. eponinexmarius is another topic that i will probably get around talking to. in short, i do not like it). people chalk eponine to be outspoken, snarky, and incredibly standoffish. it's very unlike Brick!Eponine like i said, and i get it because people want a character that they can relate to and the hopeless romantic aspect of her is very easy to latch onto for people who are in similar situations, and i think that causes a lot of projection onto her. which is fine.

something about the fanon abrasiveness really throws me off, it always does. i think if you strip away the sexist gaze towards the women in les mis, you'd find that eponine is abused, eponine longs to be loved in any sort of way because she feels none of it at home, eponine is incredibly brave, and eponine is a very human character with very human flaws. i think that's why people look at that and are able to give her those outspoken traits, those violent traits.

to the root of it all, i hold a huge issue with the way people like to write her. i dont remember the fic but i remember the gist of a passage saying "if it had been eponine that hit him, it would have been a lot harder" or something similar and coming from a place of "yooooo ive been there. mfs can pack a punch!" it just makes me think that there is a line, and i do not believe that friends should be actively hurting friends. and i dont think people should put up with their friends hurting them either.

when it comes down to it, eponine comes from a household of neglect, abuse, and even more abuse. and i am not going to just say that everyone who writes eponine writes her as an abuser but god almighty it bothers me when she is overly harsh and cruel to characters for no reason. as i said earlier, people like to project onto her which is great because she's a great character, and i think people like to make her edgy because it really fits in with a lot of people's aesthetics and personalities. which is fun! give me edgy characters! give me edgy or punk asf eponine and cosette and musichetta and bahorel and feuilly and make them AS EDGY AS POSSIBLE!!!!! but people also stretch this edginess to the point of punching and hurting and being unnecessarily cruel and that is not edgy. none of that is edgy. god in the worst way possible-

it makes me think of her parents.

and that's not fair. eponine escaping abuse and neglect is not as impactful when you make her cruel. and that's really all it is.

this is not about everyone who writes eponine to be edgy and i have no say in how you interpret a character. they're your fics for christ sake. but coming from a place of abusive frienships, the way some people exaggerate her personality strikes too close to home, and all i can say is that i dont like it.

use me as a: “the fanon depiction of eponine in a lot of les mis fan media is very bizarre and i dont like it “ button

[trendingnewsb]

25 ways to save $250 a month that everyone is messing up

Image: Faberr Ink/shutterstock

When it comes to saving money, not every way is the right way. A lot of it depends on your lifestyle and the goals that youve established.

At the same time, there are plenty of mistakes we typically make when it comes to saving like the 25 ways listed below.

1. Not monitoring your budget

When it comes to saving some cash each month, nothing beats a budget. Heres the problem. You base your budget on your fixed expenses like rent, insurance, and utilities. But, what about those unexpected or variable expenses like a trip to the dentist, replacement of your broken iPhone, heat during colder months, the invitation to go on a last-minute weekend vacation, or gifts for birthdays or holidays?

If youve created a budget based on only your fixed month-to-month expenses, then its going to be a lot harder to save accordingly. Instead of saving money each month, youll actually be eating into your savings.

To successfully budget, you have to pay attention to trends and then reshuffle as needed. This way, youll have enough money to cover those unexpected or variable expenses without dipping into your savings. Remember, budgeting is a process. Dont expect to create a budget based on solely on one month. Track your spending over the course of a couple of months so that you can paint a more accurate picture.

2. Spending too much time on being frugal

Another way to save money each month is by being frugal. But, if youre spending more time on monitoring your budget, clipping coupons, or scouring the Internet for the best deal instead of enjoying your life, then its time to reevaluate the situation.

The purpose of saving is so that you have the money to take that family trip, make home improvements, or invest in new business. That doesnt mean that you eliminate the important things in life, such as spending time with your family, just for the sake of saving. By all means, be frugal but not when its consuming too much of your life.

3. Loyalty

When you think about saving money, you most likely think about reducing expenses like going out to dinner less often. But, when was the last time that you compared the rates and deals of your bank, insurance company, the Internet or cell phone provider? Theres a good chance that there are better options available. Switching your cell phone provider, for example, may not save you $250 alone per month, but you may find a plan thats $25 cheaper per month. Add that to your other saving methods and youll be on track to that $250 goal rather easily.

4. Youre uncomfortable

Being frugal doesnt mean that you have to sacrifice the things that you actually need or enjoy occasionally. It means that youre more cognizant of your spending so that you can make better financial decisions. It doesnt mean that you have to be uncomfortable and miserable by missing out on the things that you enjoy or need like that new mattress to replace your uncomfortable and torn-up mattress.

5. Buying on sale just because its on sale

Weve all been guilty of this. We purchase items just because theyre on sale. But, do you really need that new pair of jeans just because theyre 15% off? Instead of spending your money on the things that you dont need just because theyre sale, make a note of the what you do need and then wait for them to go on sale.If youre like most people, this adds up to be over $250 a month.

6. Cooking at home

Make no mistake about it. Cooking at home is definitely more affordable than eating out every night. But, what about the times that you want to make something that calls for ingredients that youll rarely use. Take Paella, for example. While its delicious, theres a chance that the saffron you purchased is going to go to waste.

When grocery shopping, try to think of meals that use similar ingredients so that nothing is going to waste. Another option would be to join something like Blue Apron or Sun Basket since they provide the right amount of ingredients needed for each recipe. Best of all? Plans start at around $10 per serving.

7. You cant let go

Do you have a house full of stuff that you never use but hold onto them because you might need that snow blower even though you live in Florida? Its time to let some of that clutter go. While I understand that you dont want to buy something if you already have it, take stock of the things that you know youll need.

If you keep accumulating stuff, youll potentially run into a situation where you need to rent storage space because you no longer have space in your home to store it. How is that going to help you save money each month?

8. Buying coupons youll never use

There are some incredible deals on Groupon or LivingSocial. But, are you really going to take that yoga class or eat at that new Italian restaurant outside of town before the voucher expires? If so, then purchase the voucher, but if youre uncertain, then skip the deal.

9. You jeopardize your safety

I dont enjoy throwing away food. However, Im not going to put myself or my family at risk by cooking dinner using expired ingredients. If something is bad, its better to chuck it then risk getting a bad case of food poisoning.

10. Signing up for a new credit card just for the rewards

In some instances, credit cards have perks like rewards, cashback on purchases, and 0% percent APR for balance transfers that make them worth considering. Before applying for that new card, review all of the fine print. This applies to businesses as well. The cost of annual fees and high-interest rates may not be worth those perks.

11. Cutting out all activities and socializing

One of the most expensive expenses youll incur is socializing and participating in activities. Instead of becoming a hermit and isolating yourself from your friends or family, make an exception here and there. If you go out for drinks or attend a concert on Friday night, then stay home on Saturday night. Youre still socializing, but youre also being responsible with your money.

12. You never indulge

Just like with socializing, its alright to indulge now and then. It can be used as a reward or help you experience new things. So, if youve brewed your own coffee at home all week, go ahead and stop by Starbucks on Friday morning. You earned it!

13. Youve taken DIY too far

Thanks to Pinterest and YouTube, weve been tricked into thinking that we can do anything from building furniture to repairing our cars. The problem is that this can lead us to potentially do more harm than good.

For example, changing the oil in your car may sound like a good idea, but by the time that you purchase the oil and filters, it may cost you more money than going to a mechanic. Even worse, if youve never changed the oil in your car and make a mistake youll now have an additional expense: paying a mechanic to repair the damage that youve done.

14. Cord-cutting

One of the most popular trends when it comes to saving money is through cord-cutting. The thing is its not for everyone. If you enjoy watching local sports or shows like Game of Thrones, you may end up paying more money each month since youre still paying for Internet service, a local TV package, and a premium channel subscription. Unless youre not a TV-watcher, cord-cutting may not be your best option.

15. Not calculating your retirement

Saving for your retirement is never a bad idea. Going into it blindly is, however. You wouldn’t purchase a car or home without knowing how much its going to cost you, right? In order to plan and save for your retirement, you need to first calculate how much youre going to need to set aside each month. NerdWallet has a handy retirement calculator that can help you get started on the right path.

16. Putting money into modest growth plans

One of the biggest mistakes that even the savviest savers make is putting money into modest growth plans, such as low APR savings accounts, CDs, bonds, mutual funds, or simple 401(k)s. Thanks to Fintech, your bank or financial adviser will be able to send you personalized investment recommendations so that you can get the most bang for your buck.

17. Not harnessing the power of Fintech

Speaking of Fintech, financial institutions are using this technology so that you can also automate investing and savings by adjusting your budget and notifying you of any changes in your accounts. You can receive customized financial advice through chatbots to make more informed financial decisions.

18. Avoiding cash

Theres a belief that if you have cash on-hand youll be tempted to spend it. The thing is if you only have $45 in your pocket, you cant spend more than that. However, if youre carrying plastic or a digital wallet downloaded onto your phone, you may be tempted to spend money on stuff that you dont really need. In the end, cash may be the better option to keep you financially disciplined.

19. Not automating your savings

Dedicating a percentage of your paycheck to your savings is a given. However, what happens when you place that echeck into your bank account? After your expenses have been paid, you may be tempted to spend that excess cash. To prevent that from happening, you should automate your savings where a small percentage of your paycheck is withdrawn and transferred to your savings account. This way, youre not spending that excess money since its already been placed into your savings account.

20. Buying cheap, not value

You may think that in order to save $250 a month you have to buy products or service that are the cheapest. Just remember, you get what you pay for. For example, if you need a new pair of sneakers and purchase a pair from a local dollar store, theyre probably not going to last as long as a quality pair of sneakers. Sure, spending over a hundred bucks on a pair of shoes may seem like a tough pill to swallow, but theyre more likely to last you several years.In other words, always go value over price. It will be worth it in the long-run.

21. Buying in bulk

Buying in bulk can be a smart move when it comes to items that you use frequently and wont spoil. For instance, household items like toothbrushes, toilet paper, or light bulbs are cheaper when bought in bulk. Food items are a different story. In fact, food waste costs between $1,365 to $2,275 per year for the average American household.When it comes to perishable items like food, buying bulk isnt always the most cost effective solution.

22. Linking your checking and savings accounts

Gone are the days having only one bank account. Today, there is a wide range of ebanking options for your specific needs. For example, you could use one bank for your main checking account because you arent charged any maintenance or minimum balance fees. However, there could be another bank that has a higher interest rate on saving accounts. By separating these two accounts youre not only avoiding fees and getting a better return, but youre also preventing the chances of spending the money that you’ve set aside for that emergency fund or savings plan.

23. Assuming theres a quick fix

When you start saving you first look at reducing your spending. Chances are that reducing your trips to Starbucks or changing your cell phone plan arent enough to add up to $250 in savings each month. After that, you make another cut, then another, and then another until you’ve reached your goal.

The point is when it comes to saving, there aren’t just one or two quick fixes. Its a process that takes time.

24. Focusing on saving while considering how to also make more money

Income is arguably the most important factor when it comes to saving. If youre living paycheck-to-paycheck, then how can you put aside a couple hundred of dollars each month? Reducing the amount of money that you spend each month is only part of the solution. The other part is having additional income that can be placed into your savings account.

Thankfully, there are hundreds of ways for you to make some extra cash on the side even if you have a full-time job. Here and there, working some evenings or weekends can help you easily hit that extra $250 per month and maybe even more!

25. Saving solely for needs

Most financial advisers suggest that you save for needs like a new car, health emergency, or college education. While thats sound advice, when you only save for your needs, you tend to get frustrated and resentful of the entire saving process.Instead, set aside some of your savings for something fun, such as a dream vacation or new TV. You earned that money, so make sure that you enjoy from time-to-time and reward yourself for becoming more fiscally responsible.

John Rampton is serial entrepreneur who now focuses on helping people to build amazing products and services that scale. He is founder of the online payments company Due. He was recently named #2 on Top 50 Online Influencers in the World by Entrepreneur Magazine. Time Magazine recognized John as a motivational speaker that helps people find a “Sense of Meaning” in their lives. He currently advises several companies in the bay area.

John Rampton

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A few weeks ago, Dries Buytaert, founder of the popular open-source CMS Drupal, asked Larry Garfield, a prominent Drupal contributor and long-time member of the Drupal community, to leave the Drupal project. Why did he do this? He refuses to say. A huge furor has erupted in response not least because the reason clearly has much to do with Garfields unconventional sex life.

More specifically, Garfield is into BDSM. Even more specifically, hes a member of the Gor community, an outr subculture of an outr subculture, one built around a series of thirty-odd books by John Norman which are, basically, John Carter of Mars meets Fifty Shades of Grey. Essentiallyas I understand ita community who are interested in, and/or participate in, elaborate (consensual!) sexual subjugation fantasies, in which men are inherently superior to women. I know all this because of Garfields lengthy public response to his ouster, self-deprecatingly titled TMI about me:

Yes, I am one of those people Despite the total lack of evidence that alternative lifestyle cultures offer any harm to anyone, there is still a great deal of prejudice and bigotry regarding it someone, I do not know who, stumbled across my profile on a private, registration-required website for alternative-lifestyle people that information made it to the Community Working Group (CWG), who concluded there was no code of conduct violation present for [them] to take any action on in my first contact with Dries, he asked me to step down from Drupal Drupal has been the cornerstone of my career for the past nearly 12 years Dries wouldnt budge on me leaving, including making it clear that it wasnt an option, but an instruction informing me that Id been summarily dismissed from my position as track chair and as a speaker at DrupalCon, per [my] conversation with Dries here I am, being bullied, harassed, and excluded because of my personal activities, which I dont even publicize much less advocate for in tech circles.

Buytaert (who is also co-founder and CTO of Acquia, a Drupal platform which has raised ~$175 million over the years and has been struggling to IPO for a few years now) retorts:

when a highly-visible community members private views become public, controversial, and disruptive for the project, I must consider the impact all people are created equally. [sic] I cannot in good faith support someone who actively promotes a philosophy that is contrary to this any association with Larrys belief system is inconsistent with our projects goals I recused myself from the Drupal Associations decision [to dismiss Garfield from his conference role] Many have rightfully stated that I havent made a clear case for the decision I did not make the decision based on the information or beliefs conveyed in Larrys blog post.

Sigh. This sad mess is something of a perfect storm of Code of Conduct conflicts. It is one which raises a number of interesting questions. It also raises several quite boring ones, so lets get them out of the way:

Does this matter? (Isnt this just prurient clickbait?)

Is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member for being involved in BDSM, or other forms of unconventional but consensual adult sexual behavior?

More generally, is it OK for an open-source community to ban/ostracize a member purely because their belief system perhaps better described as a complicated fantasy milieu in which they happen to spend their personal time was doxxed?

These questions are boring not because they are unimportant, but because the answers are so obvious: yes (no), hell no, and hell no.

Ill unpack the first: open-source communities/projects are crucially important to many peoples careers and professional lives cf the cornerstone of my career so who they allow and deny membership to, and how their codes of conduct are constructed and followed, is highly consequential.

I really, really hope I dont have to unpack the two hell nos. But in case I do, let me quote this excellent blog post from Nadia Eghbal:

In the past, Dries mightve kicked Larry out because BDSM is a threat to family values. Today, leaders like Dries kick Larry out because BDSM is a threat to gender equality. Unfortunately, the end result is the same Beliefs are not actions. We cannot persecute people for what they believe, no matter how much it disgusts us, and simultaneously maintain a free and open democracy If diversity is our dogma, call me spiritual, not religious. I still pray for the same things as you, but I wont be at the witch trials.

Which is brilliantly put and I hope settles the previous questions. However. The Garfield Situation also raises two questions which are far more complex and interesting:

Under what circumstances, and via what kind of due process, is it OK for communities to publicly condemn people for secret reasons?

Is it OK to ban/ostracize community members for (legal) behavior which occurs entirely outside the community?

Obviously sometimes organizational decisions have to be made based on information that must remain confidential, for legal or ethical reasons. But if youre making such a decision, you really have to do so in the right way. What is the right way?

Probably something close to the opposite of what Buytaert and the Drupal Association did. Even if their decision was correct, which currently seems at best suspect, their complete lack of process transparency, and Buytaerts vaguely worded hinting-without-really-saying-anything statement, makes it very hard to have any faith in it.

Their accusations are so vague nonexistent non-accusations, really that Dries & co. could surely have told the community substantially more (indeed, anything) about Garfields problematic behavior, if any, without revealing sensitive information. For instance, they could have said theyd received reports of threats, harassment, or coercion by Garfield, if any such reports existed. They have said nothing of the sort.

(For what its worth, a well-informed source of mine reports: Its worth noting that a handful of women who worked with Larry did not report harassment or abuse from him in the workplace. We cant know for sure if he committed offenses, but if there were allegations or even rumors of his mistreatment of women we would be having a very different conversation right now.)

They could also have cited which elements of the Drupal Code of Conduct he violated, if any. They have not done so but theyve expelled him anyhow. Isnt that Code of Conduct, and its associated Conflict Resolution Policy, supposed to be what dictates the rules of behavior and interaction in the community? Doesnt overruling that written code with arbitrary decisions made for secret reasons reveal that in practice it is an irrelevance with no actual weight or importance?

I reached out to Buytaert in the hope of clarification; he did not respond.

Its hard not to get the impression, from the little that we do know, and the manner in which it has been miscommunicated, that whats actually deemed unacceptable here is that Garfields kink has spilled outside of his personal life i.e. that his real sin is that he was doxxed. Which, as noted, is firmly in hell no territory.

It is of course entirely possible that this impression is incorrect, and that Buytaert and the Drupal Association have done the right thing. But they have offered no evidence, no arguments, and no reasons for their decision. It seems obvious to me that they have a moral obligation to their community to do so. You cant ban people without at least sketching the outline of what it is they did wrong. Just trust us is not enough

especially since it also seems possible that the CTO and co-founder of a heavily funded pre-IPO company has participated in expelling a man from what his been his professional community for the last twelve years, ignoring that communitys own Code of Conduct and Conflict Resolution Policy, because it was decided he was guilty of, essentially, thoughtcrime; that no real accusations have been made, and no allegations of problematic behavior have been cited, because none such exist.

A third plausible scenario, based on the tea leaves of Buytaerts phrase actively promotes, is that Garfield has been banned for expressing views outside the Drupal community which are deemed unacceptable inside. This is not a new issue in the open-source world: I wrote about it last year, in the context of Curtis Yarvin and Opalgate:

Should communities accept people who hold repugnant views, as long as they dont express them within that community? Or should they be expelled, because its assumed that their views influence their community work in a negative way, or because their presence makes other people feel unsafe?

Personally, both answers make me feel deeply uneasy. Humans are messy, complex, and contradictory; human interactions are that squared; the results are so complex and context-sensitive that they often need to be judged on a case-by-case basis, rather than by any hard-and-fast rule.

although in those cases, the views in question were clearly expressed publicly, not privately, and were not intended as part of any BDSM fantasy world. Does that apply here? Who knows? Certainly not the Drupal community.

Its impossible to judge the Garfield situation, because all we are permitted to know is that it has been prejudged for us, by people who refuse to tell us anything about either their evidence or their decision process. It is, however, very easy to judge whether the people who have made and communicated this decision are, by the way they have done so, actually serving their community. And that answer is, once again, Im sorry to say: hell no.

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25 ways to save $250 a month that everyone is messing up

Image: Faberr Ink/shutterstock

When it comes to saving money, not every way is the right way. A lot of it depends on your lifestyle and the goals that youve established.

At the same time, there are plenty of mistakes we typically make when it comes to saving like the 25 ways listed below.

1. Not monitoring your budget

When it comes to saving some cash each month, nothing beats a budget. Heres the problem. You base your budget on your fixed expenses like rent, insurance, and utilities. But, what about those unexpected or variable expenses like a trip to the dentist, replacement of your broken iPhone, heat during colder months, the invitation to go on a last-minute weekend vacation, or gifts for birthdays or holidays?

If youve created a budget based on only your fixed month-to-month expenses, then its going to be a lot harder to save accordingly. Instead of saving money each month, youll actually be eating into your savings.

To successfully budget, you have to pay attention to trends and then reshuffle as needed. This way, youll have enough money to cover those unexpected or variable expenses without dipping into your savings. Remember, budgeting is a process. Dont expect to create a budget based on solely on one month. Track your spending over the course of a couple of months so that you can paint a more accurate picture.

2. Spending too much time on being frugal

Another way to save money each month is by being frugal. But, if youre spending more time on monitoring your budget, clipping coupons, or scouring the Internet for the best deal instead of enjoying your life, then its time to reevaluate the situation.

The purpose of saving is so that you have the money to take that family trip, make home improvements, or invest in new business. That doesnt mean that you eliminate the important things in life, such as spending time with your family, just for the sake of saving. By all means, be frugal but not when its consuming too much of your life.

3. Loyalty

When you think about saving money, you most likely think about reducing expenses like going out to dinner less often. But, when was the last time that you compared the rates and deals of your bank, insurance company, the Internet or cell phone provider? Theres a good chance that there are better options available. Switching your cell phone provider, for example, may not save you $250 alone per month, but you may find a plan thats $25 cheaper per month. Add that to your other saving methods and youll be on track to that $250 goal rather easily.

4. Youre uncomfortable

Being frugal doesnt mean that you have to sacrifice the things that you actually need or enjoy occasionally. It means that youre more cognizant of your spending so that you can make better financial decisions. It doesnt mean that you have to be uncomfortable and miserable by missing out on the things that you enjoy or need like that new mattress to replace your uncomfortable and torn-up mattress.

5. Buying on sale just because its on sale

Weve all been guilty of this. We purchase items just because theyre on sale. But, do you really need that new pair of jeans just because theyre 15% off? Instead of spending your money on the things that you dont need just because theyre sale, make a note of the what you do need and then wait for them to go on sale.If youre like most people, this adds up to be over $250 a month.

6. Cooking at home

Make no mistake about it. Cooking at home is definitely more affordable than eating out every night. But, what about the times that you want to make something that calls for ingredients that youll rarely use. Take Paella, for example. While its delicious, theres a chance that the saffron you purchased is going to go to waste.

When grocery shopping, try to think of meals that use similar ingredients so that nothing is going to waste. Another option would be to join something like Blue Apron or Sun Basket since they provide the right amount of ingredients needed for each recipe. Best of all? Plans start at around $10 per serving.

7. You cant let go

Do you have a house full of stuff that you never use but hold onto them because you might need that snow blower even though you live in Florida? Its time to let some of that clutter go. While I understand that you dont want to buy something if you already have it, take stock of the things that you know youll need.

If you keep accumulating stuff, youll potentially run into a situation where you need to rent storage space because you no longer have space in your home to store it. How is that going to help you save money each month?

8. Buying coupons youll never use

There are some incredible deals on Groupon or LivingSocial. But, are you really going to take that yoga class or eat at that new Italian restaurant outside of town before the voucher expires? If so, then purchase the voucher, but if youre uncertain, then skip the deal.

9. You jeopardize your safety

I dont enjoy throwing away food. However, Im not going to put myself or my family at risk by cooking dinner using expired ingredients. If something is bad, its better to chuck it then risk getting a bad case of food poisoning.

10. Signing up for a new credit card just for the rewards

In some instances, credit cards have perks like rewards, cashback on purchases, and 0% percent APR for balance transfers that make them worth considering. Before applying for that new card, review all of the fine print. This applies to businesses as well. The cost of annual fees and high-interest rates may not be worth those perks.

11. Cutting out all activities and socializing

One of the most expensive expenses youll incur is socializing and participating in activities. Instead of becoming a hermit and isolating yourself from your friends or family, make an exception here and there. If you go out for drinks or attend a concert on Friday night, then stay home on Saturday night. Youre still socializing, but youre also being responsible with your money.

12. You never indulge

Just like with socializing, its alright to indulge now and then. It can be used as a reward or help you experience new things. So, if youve brewed your own coffee at home all week, go ahead and stop by Starbucks on Friday morning. You earned it!

13. Youve taken DIY too far

Thanks to Pinterest and YouTube, weve been tricked into thinking that we can do anything from building furniture to repairing our cars. The problem is that this can lead us to potentially do more harm than good.

For example, changing the oil in your car may sound like a good idea, but by the time that you purchase the oil and filters, it may cost you more money than going to a mechanic. Even worse, if youve never changed the oil in your car and make a mistake youll now have an additional expense: paying a mechanic to repair the damage that youve done.

14. Cord-cutting

One of the most popular trends when it comes to saving money is through cord-cutting. The thing is its not for everyone. If you enjoy watching local sports or shows like Game of Thrones, you may end up paying more money each month since youre still paying for Internet service, a local TV package, and a premium channel subscription. Unless youre not a TV-watcher, cord-cutting may not be your best option.

15. Not calculating your retirement

Saving for your retirement is never a bad idea. Going into it blindly is, however. You wouldn’t purchase a car or home without knowing how much its going to cost you, right? In order to plan and save for your retirement, you need to first calculate how much youre going to need to set aside each month. NerdWallet has a handy retirement calculator that can help you get started on the right path.

16. Putting money into modest growth plans

One of the biggest mistakes that even the savviest savers make is putting money into modest growth plans, such as low APR savings accounts, CDs, bonds, mutual funds, or simple 401(k)s. Thanks to Fintech, your bank or financial adviser will be able to send you personalized investment recommendations so that you can get the most bang for your buck.

17. Not harnessing the power of Fintech

Speaking of Fintech, financial institutions are using this technology so that you can also automate investing and savings by adjusting your budget and notifying you of any changes in your accounts. You can receive customized financial advice through chatbots to make more informed financial decisions.

18. Avoiding cash

Theres a belief that if you have cash on-hand youll be tempted to spend it. The thing is if you only have $45 in your pocket, you cant spend more than that. However, if youre carrying plastic or a digital wallet downloaded onto your phone, you may be tempted to spend money on stuff that you dont really need. In the end, cash may be the better option to keep you financially disciplined.

19. Not automating your savings

Dedicating a percentage of your paycheck to your savings is a given. However, what happens when you place that echeck into your bank account? After your expenses have been paid, you may be tempted to spend that excess cash. To prevent that from happening, you should automate your savings where a small percentage of your paycheck is withdrawn and transferred to your savings account. This way, youre not spending that excess money since its already been placed into your savings account.

20. Buying cheap, not value

You may think that in order to save $250 a month you have to buy products or service that are the cheapest. Just remember, you get what you pay for. For example, if you need a new pair of sneakers and purchase a pair from a local dollar store, theyre probably not going to last as long as a quality pair of sneakers. Sure, spending over a hundred bucks on a pair of shoes may seem like a tough pill to swallow, but theyre more likely to last you several years.In other words, always go value over price. It will be worth it in the long-run.

21. Buying in bulk

Buying in bulk can be a smart move when it comes to items that you use frequently and wont spoil. For instance, household items like toothbrushes, toilet paper, or light bulbs are cheaper when bought in bulk. Food items are a different story. In fact, food waste costs between $1,365 to $2,275 per year for the average American household.When it comes to perishable items like food, buying bulk isnt always the most cost effective solution.

22. Linking your checking and savings accounts

Gone are the days having only one bank account. Today, there is a wide range of ebanking options for your specific needs. For example, you could use one bank for your main checking account because you arent charged any maintenance or minimum balance fees. However, there could be another bank that has a higher interest rate on saving accounts. By separating these two accounts youre not only avoiding fees and getting a better return, but youre also preventing the chances of spending the money that you’ve set aside for that emergency fund or savings plan.

23. Assuming theres a quick fix

When you start saving you first look at reducing your spending. Chances are that reducing your trips to Starbucks or changing your cell phone plan arent enough to add up to $250 in savings each month. After that, you make another cut, then another, and then another until you’ve reached your goal.

The point is when it comes to saving, there aren’t just one or two quick fixes. Its a process that takes time.

24. Focusing on saving while considering how to also make more money

Income is arguably the most important factor when it comes to saving. If youre living paycheck-to-paycheck, then how can you put aside a couple hundred of dollars each month? Reducing the amount of money that you spend each month is only part of the solution. The other part is having additional income that can be placed into your savings account.

Thankfully, there are hundreds of ways for you to make some extra cash on the side even if you have a full-time job. Here and there, working some evenings or weekends can help you easily hit that extra $250 per month and maybe even more!

25. Saving solely for needs

Most financial advisers suggest that you save for needs like a new car, health emergency, or college education. While thats sound advice, when you only save for your needs, you tend to get frustrated and resentful of the entire saving process.Instead, set aside some of your savings for something fun, such as a dream vacation or new TV. You earned that money, so make sure that you enjoy from time-to-time and reward yourself for becoming more fiscally responsible.

John Rampton is serial entrepreneur who now focuses on helping people to build amazing products and services that scale. He is founder of the online payments company Due. He was recently named #2 on Top 50 Online Influencers in the World by Entrepreneur Magazine. Time Magazine recognized John as a motivational speaker that helps people find a “Sense of Meaning” in their lives. He currently advises several companies in the bay area.

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