#like sure if there is no choice but to kill someone because they represent a massive danger to human life

[dw-flagler]

WHAT THE FUCK?

[kneelingshadowsalome]

I am politely asking for a bit more on Königs son the angst is so yummy 🥺

König loves his baby boy... Until it starts to talk.

He absolutely adores the baby when it’s born, he can’t sleep at nights because he has to go and check if the boy is still breathing in the crib. König loves to hold him close and rock him in his lap, wants to give him baths and even changes the diapers, is so invested in the little chubby nugget that it’s a bit perplexing to see him so babbly cuddly towards someone who isn’t this poor Prince’s mother.

But when the boy doesn’t need him so much anymore, when he starts to show independence and express his own will, starts to walk and run and hide and talk back to him, it makes König uncomfortable.

He’s not in control anymore, he’s not needed. He’s the one who’s always away, he’s the unfamiliar face, the stern voice, the “strange man”, the one who makes the boy look angry or afraid. He becomes the bad guy.

It’s not bullying if his own son doesn’t prefer him, König knows it. But it still hurts to feel like an alien in his own home. It feels like a personal insult to be the last choice once again.

König’s son sees his father as a judge, a tyrant, a competitor because every time he’s home, mum’s all hearts and smiles. The parent who’s supposed to represent the whole world to our Prince suddenly becomes weak and clingy and needy.

And for what? For some big foreign man who stares him down as if he’s nothing but dirt under his boot. Asks him if he’s been nice to mum and if he’s helped her with the chores. When mum’s not in hearing distance, König tells him he shouldn’t trouble her with his crying and whining... If he’s nice and behaves, König will bring him toys from his “work trips”.

He rarely brings any because “he couldn't find anything”. Mum is the one who gets foreign delicacies, perfumes and the like. König’s son soon understands it doesn't matter how well he behaves because it will never be enough.

In his dreams, he tries to kill König every now and then. The old bastard only laughs. He laughs, even in his dreams because he’s weaker than him, not a threat at all, only entertaining when he gets mad… He laughs and just won't die.

Mum comes first, always. Whatever she says is the law. Whatever she wants, she shall have. The way his father worships this woman is eerie, disturbing, and invokes so much jealousy that König’s son is not sure who he’s even supposed to be jealous of. This stupid fucker or his mum who seems to lose brain cells every time this dick returns home and disturbs their peace?

Girls are both Madonnas and whores to him after he has watched this tyrant become a babbling, spineless mess over an upset woman. The world quakes everytime his mum is unhappy because her happiness is paramount. The only time he has seen König in tears was when his mum refused to talk to him one evening: the argument was about him, of course, and how König should apologize to their son, not to her. It takes manipulation and a passive aggressive lioness to make König say he’s sorry, but it does nothing to help the situation, quite the contrary. Who would give a fuck about a forced apology?

König’s son becomes a covert people pleaser who feels lonely wherever he goes. He’s a mama’s boy whose father seemingly hates him, an angel and a demon in one man, someone who believes his worth is measured by the things he achieves in life. How well he performs, how much money he makes, how independent he becomes. With women, another one always bites the dust, with work, he never seems to find his passion. And wherever he goes, whatever he does, nothing is ever enough.

The only way for these two to find a common ground is if the poor Prince manages to settle down with some patient, loving woman who gives him a child. A grandson or a granddaughter would make König fold and become a babbling mess once more; he's so pathetic and harmless with the baby that no one can be angry at him even if they wanted to. König would kill anyone and everyone who tried to hurt his family, even a blind man can see that.

Reconciliation happens slowly but surely, even if it's another kind of hurt to see the old man give this child all the love his son would've begged his knees bloody for. But beggars can't be choosers (and apparently a king's son has no crown), luckily König becomes softer in the head as he ages so a time may come when he thinks back on what he's done and finds the balls to wholeheartedly apologize. Might demand a touching family Christmas dinner and some whiskey though.

[maidenvault]

RotJ makes a point of letting us know that Leia is Luke's sister, they've known this on some level for a long time, and he probably cares more about her than anyone in the world because this gives so much more weight to his conflict at the end of the movie, and I think this is a huge thing people overlook when they argue that him redeeming his father represents a rejection of the old Jedi ways of non-attachment. Because in the moment he has to let go of Leia and his friends to be able to actually save Anakin.

When Obi-Wan tries to convince Luke that he has to kill Vader and there's no other way, he doesn’t really discuss it as an issue of Luke having an attachment to him. I think he knows this isn't really the Jedi way but just like in the previous war, they don't seem to be faced with any good choices. Obi-Wan believes what Luke wants is truly impossible and, having failed to stop Vader when he could have before, of course he's trying to stop Luke from making the same mistake.

But it's significant that in the same conversation, Obi-Wan does warn him that his love for his sister could be made a liability if he's not careful. When Luke learns he has a twin and reveals how strong a connection he feels with Leia because he doesn't even have to be told who it is, Obi-Wan's response sets up how this will play into the climax of the film:

"Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor."

Then when Luke is brought to Sidious, he reveals to Luke that the Rebellion is walking right into a trap as a way to torment and provoke him. Luke gets angrier and angrier while helplessly watching the fleet get ambushed and finally does just what Sidious wants and tries to attack him. But it's Vader specifically threatening Leia that makes Luke totally lose control of his feelings and fight him in a rage.

Luke is basically facing the same kind of test he failed so badly in ESB by running off to help his friends. When Yoda is trying to make him see he's not ready to face Vader and keep him from going to Bespin, he says something that I think is such an underrated quote in its importance to Luke's whole journey:

"Decide you must how to serve them best. If you leave now, help them you could, but you would destroy all for which they have fought and suffered."

Luke is really lucky he doesn't get killed in Cloud City (or captured, which I think at this point could have resulted in him being turned). Yoda knows Luke is the one person with a chance of defeating the Emperor and Luke just about throws that away.

But at the end of RotJ when Luke cuts off Vader's hand, he surely is reminded of his failure at Bespin and sees the path he's starting down by succumbing to his fears like that again. He stops because he sees he's betraying his loved ones and everything he is. He can only throw away his weapon and confidently tell the Emperor to eat shit then because he's no longer afraid of dying or of those he loves dying. He's done what his father couldn't do and kept his soul intact, which is what Leia would want. Because real love isn't selfishly trying to save someone by betraying what they believe in like Anakin did with Padme. And it obviously has to be an incredibly powerful thing for Vader to see his own son able to do this, even comparing himself to the man he once was ("I am a Jedi, like my father before me").

We remember everything working out okay so it's easy sometimes to forget that Luke gives this triumphant speech when the rebel fleet is getting pulverized outside and things overall still look pretty hopeless. He probably expects he could die at this point. But like Obi-Wan in his own death scene, he knows nothing can destroy him now. And it's the love he feels for his family that gives him the strength to let go.

[linberlyy]

Let's be honest: Criston's offense’s more than justified and well-reasoned. Another question is how much this very offense is, but everyone will judge this through their own internal compass. Let me explain Cole’s motivation and worldview, maybe I'll open someone's eyes.

Let’s simulate the situation: we have a son from a humble family (so low that his position was low even for an engagement), who, with sweat, blood, his skills and efforts, carved out a place for himself in the Kingsguard, taking into account that, thanks to the goodwill of a representative of the royal family, - who has a golden spoon in her mouth, we remember, was able to get a healthy assessment of her capabilities and skills without watered calculations.

- “I know what it’s like to fight for something that others don’t value.”

He owes his new position precisely to the favor of the princess, and we have no reason to refute Criston’s conscience, because BEFORE any traumatic and drastic changes/events, he manifests himself as a conscientious and devoted knight, with a clear worldview.

They spend a lot of time together, and already at Aegon’s name day we see that the level of trust between Rhaenyra and Criston is high, moreover, it is rapidly gaining momentum when she opens some part of her soul, shares things that can be called “personal”, laments his situation and outlines the problems he faces. Most notable:

— “My father is trying to sell me to Jason Lannister. I was named heir to the throne only to improve the position of Lord Casterly Rock.

— Should I kill him?”

This is literally a joke about killing the LORD that Criston makes in the presence of the princess, and it is remarkable that they both laugh without taking it seriously.

— “You can choose your own path, you are lucky. Many would gladly change places with you.

— “I am the princess of Dragonstone, but I am toothless.”

— “Once, not so long ago, you were able to write my name in the White Book. A position in the Kingsguard is the highest honor for the Cole family. I owe you everything. And I wouldn’t call it toothless.”

He provides her with sincere support, without greedy or hypocritical intent, and she accepts it with open arms.

The development of their relationship, on the initiative of the princess, follows immediately when, after some time, abandoned by Daemon (I condemn) in a brothel, she persuades Criston to have sex. Rhaenyra lures him into the room, plays with the helmet, kisses him, not allowing him to leave, and then tries to free the knight from his armor. Yes, Criston could more than experience romantic feelings towards his princess, but above all, it was a kind of admiration, sincere gratitude for what bestowed her favor on the rootless commoner. His representation of Rhaenyra may seem banal and naive, namely as “a poor princess, enslaved by her position,” we will note this in the future. But based on his pure motives, he faces a choice in which his feelings equally suffer, his vows and, of course, the wishes of his object of desire, in relation to whom Criston has never crossed the line before, are called into question. Many may underestimate the pressure that arises between the statuses and titles of total opposites, and only in the example of “maid - prince” do some realize the problematic nature of such a union, but not “princess - knight”. Please note: despite gender, it is still a class difference that breeds power with abuse. And, unfortunately, Cole cannot know and be sure that Rhaenyra’s need to get sex here and now has nothing to do with her love for him. He hesitantly follows the princess's lead, putting aside his white cloak.

Next we see and hear that Criston is ashamed of himself for violating his honor, neglecting his duty, although he listened to his heart, to his duty to Rhaenyra.

— “You occasionally confided in me... Over the years of acquaintance. And it seems to me that I know you. A little.

— “More than a little.”

Another imaginary confirmation in Christon’s eyes of reciprocity.

— “You have said many times how you despise your position. That you will be married off at the whim of your father, without thinking about the inclination of your heart. And this day has come."

He imbues her with the problem mentioned in the past; driven not only by his dilemma, but also by Rhaenyra's “confinement,” a literal shackle that equally binds and constrains them both.

— “I ask you to come with me. Away from all this, from the humiliations and burdens of your heritage. Let's leave all this and look at the world together. We will be free, nameless. We are free to go wherever we want, to love whoever we want. Will you marry me? Not for the crown. For love.

— “I’m the Crown, Ser Criston. Or I will be her. I can complain about my debt, but would I choose infamy in exchange for a barrel of oranges, or a ship to Asshai? It is my duty to marry a noble of a great house. But my marriage is not the end all be all. Ser Criston, Laenor and I have come to an understanding. I gave him the right to do what he wants. He granted me the same”.

— “Do you want to make me a whore?”

— “I want what started to continue.” You are my protector. My white knight”.

— “I made a vow, a vow of chastity. I have nothing but my white cloak, and I have stained it! I thought the wedding would cleanse him.”

Literally, Criston pours out not only his soul to Rhaenyra, but also to us, as viewers. He dictates the reality of his situation, assures that he can provide and protect the princess as much as possible. But, of course, for the blood of the dragon, for the heiress, for the father’s daughter, who was previously brought up in the conditions of “do you want it? Get it!” such a prospect is worthless. Naive of Cole? Yes, but not without reason.

After everything, he feels extremely vulnerable, as well as after a sincere confession to the Queen - which responds even more precariously and nervously to any conscience and confidence, despite her gratitude. Already at the wedding of Rhaenyra and Laenor, Cole, like a taut string, stands at the service, but restlessly and nervously looks at the princess.

— “I’m on duty, what’s your business?”

— “You don’t know me, Ser Criston, but this alliance is very important to both of us.”

— “If you have something to say, Ser Joffrey, speak.”

— “Ser Laenor is as dear to me as I know the princess is to you. We must swear to keep them and their secrets. We’re not in any danger yet... They are safe.”

Sounds like a threat to a pins and needles knight with a stained cloak and a sense of duty, don’t you think? Criston can only guess how Joffrey knows about his affair with the princess, and only one of the options may look convincing - Rhaenyra telling Laenor about this, who could notify his lover along the chain. Again, every possible inclination towards princess on his part is undermined when their secret is at stake. Yes, Criston succumbs to anger and panic, resentment and hopelessness, for which he commits a much more terrible act than calling a woman names. But even so, Cole feels guilt, boundless disappointment, and at the lynching he also feels remorse. He plans to voluntarily commit suicide and admits his every mistake. This scene is literally the rebirth of a knight in the rays of Alicent’s understanding and favor.

And as a result: people complain countless times and blame Criston for swearing towards Rhaenyra, for which he apologizes. Cool. Let's think critically and delve into the story and characters, and not spit hypocrisy.

[bwaybwaycwaycway]

Quick rant about Authority in Disco Elysium

I'm writing this because I had someone rightly call me out at work for second-guessing myself for not trusting in an answer I gave. Specifically, I was asked to identify a type of fire extinguisher from a distance, and even though I was correct, I wanted to check my answer by going up and reading the label. It reminded me about internal confidence in yourself and the things you say.

Authority is an underrated skill in Disco Elysium.

I get why people dislike it. Whenever Authority gets a failure, it has extremely violent, sociopathic responses to the situation at hand, like telling you to hurt people or, in a very famous scene, put a loaded pistol in your mouth. This kind of behavior upsets Kim, who serves as the moral compass for most players, so you stop taking risky Authority checks and don't bother wearing clothing that boosts the skill. You eventually think of Authority as a skill used by people who want to go the Fascist Cop route.

And then you get to the Tribunal. At the end, only one skill will save Kim. Authority. It isn't even you giving him a real order, it's mostly asserting that there is danger and that Kim must respond to it, and ignore your broken half-dead body. It seems like a weird choice that Esprit de Corps isn't doing this, as it's the cop-related skill, or Suggestion, as it is the skill best used to convince others.

No, only Authority will snap Kim out of his panic and make sure he survives the fight without serious injury. And that's because Authority is a skill that, when it succeeds a check, is about personal confidence in your ability as a police officer, and a human being living their life in Revachol.

Authority sure does get you into bad situations, and if you choose to go down the path of the Honour Cop, suggests thumb-fucking yourself to display said honour. But when it succeeds, Authority is barely there, just reminding you that you've got this. You know what to do, you've known all along. You're confident in your actions and accept responsibility for them when Authority is taking lead.

People don't trust cops with low Authority. Sorry Cops, as Kim says, are actively harmful to the reputation of the RCM. Apologizing and second-guessing yourself makes people lose faith in the government you represent and in your ability to solve the case or help them live their lives. A lot of negative modifiers are due to you appearing weak or lacking confidence when you first meet people, as they don't think of you as a trustworthy cop who can fix things.

Finally, the confrontation with Kim over asking him to share a secret about his past, involving the Eyebrow Off, shows that Authority is something that isn't abusive when used right. Kim uses his Authority to convince you to drop the question when you fail, but if you succeed, he share a little fact about his childhood that's of no consequence except it's slightly embarrassing to him. You learn on a failure though that Kim's Authority is immense, and it shows through his confidence in himself and his job as a cop.

Authority is about showing other people, sometimes even falsely presenting, confidence in yourself and what you're doing. When it fails, it pushes you to assert this confidence again, especially in the face of someone trying to assert their Authority over you. It wants you to be a good cop, but has such a narrow way of thinking that it can get you or other people killed multiple times.

[pharmaciacatholica]

Someone once told me that suicide isnt like a "you're going to hell rn" situation because its often done under extreme stress/altered mental states and people aren't always in full control of themselves. I am sure the "instant hell" sentiment is probably a protestant thing but do you happen to know more on this?

I actually have a post in my drafts about this but is a subject that I do not love to speak on because it is inherently sensitive and it can often be difficult to express hardline truths without coming off as callous.

The cool part about being Catholic is that I often do not need to wade into the waters on my own. For the most part, I am able to point to the words or a far more learned and pious man than myself. In this case, I have the written words of Pope Saint John Paul II:

Suicide is always as morally objectionable as murder. The Church's tradition has always rejected it as a gravely evil choice.(x)(x) Even though a certain psychological, cultural and social conditioning may induce a person to carry out an action which so radically contradicts the innate inclination to life, thus lessening or removing subjective responsibility, suicide, when viewed objectively, is a gravely immoral act. In fact, it involves the rejection of love of self and the renunciation of the obligation of justice and charity towards one's neighbour, towards the communities to which one belongs, and towards society as a whole.(x)(x) In its deepest reality, suicide represents a rejection of God's absolute sovereignty over life and death, as proclaimed in the prayer of the ancient sage of Israel: "You have power over life and death; you lead men down to the gates of Hades and back again" (Wis 16:13; cf. Tob 13:2).

Evangelium Vitae (paragraph 66)

So you are partially correct and partially incorrect in your assessment. For some people, and I’ve seen this before, to go around telling those who have had a loved one commit suicide that they are burning in hell is completely insane and unjustifiable. It is also extremely dangerous to play off suicide as something that isn’t a grave sin or that every time it happens the person isn’t culpable for their actions. Suicide is one of the sins that landed Judas in hell, because he chose despair over repentance and mercy. I also think G.K. Chesterton spoke very poetically on the subject here:

Not only is suicide a sin, it is the sin. It is the ultimate and absolute evil, the refusal to take an interest in existence; the refusal to take the oath of loyalty to life. The man who kills a man, kills a man. The man who kills himself, kills all men; as far as he is concerned he wipes out the world. His act is worse than any rape or dynamite outrage. For it destroys all buildings: it insults all women. The thief is satisfied with diamonds; but the suicide is not: that is his crime. He cannot be bribed, even by the blazing stones of the Celestial City. The thief compliments the things he steals, if not the owner of them. But the suicide insults everything on earth by not stealing it. He defiles every flower by refusing to live for its sake. There is not a tiny creature in the cosmos at whom his death is not a sneer. When a man hangs himself on a tree, the leaves might fall off in anger and the birds fly away in fury: for each has received a personal affront. Of course there may be pathetic emotional excuses for the act. There often are for rape, and there almost always are for dynamite. But if it comes to clear ideas and the intelligent meaning of things, then there is much more rational and philosophic truth in the burial at the cross-roads and the stake driven through the body, than in Mr. Archer's suicidal automatic machines. There is a meaning in burying the suicide apart. The man's crime is different from other crimes - for it makes even crimes impossible.

Orthodoxy

This is just the writing of an overrated layman poet, but it really drives home the point.

[willbyersabyss]

Will flickered the garage lights. Not a new statement I know, but he did... unintentionally. This is an expansion of my theory that Will changed time by travelling into the Wheeler house DND memory. When Will travelled into that memory, it not only altered the Upside Down and time there, but also messed with the electricity at the Wheeler house.

So we all know the DND game very obviously foreshadows Will's encounter with the demogorgon, ending with Will('s dice) going missing. Well what if the rest of that scene at the Wheeler house foreshadows events that follow directly after Will's disappearance?

Right after Will loses the dice, Karen tells the boys that they need to go home. Will losing the dice represents the moment he gets lost. Karen's line alludes to them losing track of time. So time may have been altered moments after Will disappeared.

Karen says that they can finish their game at another time. Mike says they can't because it will ruin the flow. The flow of time? This suggests that their DND game had a hand in altering the flow of time, perhaps in the Upside Down, so picking another date wouldn't be right. The time needs to be November 6th!

Ted is already up and messing with the TV that's having technical issues. Whatever caused the power to flicker already happened by the time Mike got upstairs. So it started during their DND game. Interesting.

We've already seen Will's relationship with the Upside Down mess with cameras and TVs. The camera originally filmed at 8:04 PM but when Joyce watched it on the TV, it says 8:15 PM. Once Will got transferred into the Upside Down during his vision, the camera started glitching. The Upside Down interfered with time here!

So the Wheeler's TV started glitching because Will was in the Upside Down, just like it did to the Halloween footage. Will is causing these glitches somehow.

Then Will leaves and the lights flicker, but only in the garage. The bedroom light upstairs and the front porch light stayed the same. If this was just a power outage because of lab shenanigans, the entire house would have flickered. We know lights flicker when someone in the UD walks under them, so this must be what's happening. Someone is on the other side. Vecna or... Will!

The lights flicker the second Will bikes out of the garage. This indicates that Will leaving Mike's garage is causing the flickering. Maybe he was leaving on the other side because he went back in time to this memory.

Mike is the one to turn the lights off after they flicker. Is this hinting at Mike being the one to solve the UD's time problem?

So why was Will leaving the Wheeler house so soon after altering the UD to look like that memory? He was being chased. This is the scene that we see after Will leaves. Dustin chases after Will and yells that he's going to kill him... interesting choice of words for sure! This represents Vecna going after Will on the other side.

What Dustin says here may even indicate why Vecna wants to take Will in the first place. "Race you back to my place" might hint that Vecna wanted Will to create the Creel house in the UD, so he chased him there until it formed. Will broke the barrier of the Wheeler house memory.

And then Will claims Dustin's X-Men 134 comic. This comic has a lot of information that clearly links to the lore of the show, most of which relates to El, but this section caught my eye. Mastermind, who I think represents Vecna, made Jean Grey believe she was time travelling, but it was all an illusion. So time travel is literally being brought up and correlated with Will right off the bat!

Here's the thing... Max didn't actually travel into a memory. We see El travel into multiple memories and she sees other people there. Max's skatepark memory and Billy's beach memory both still have people. So why does Max's Snow Ball "memory" have no people? The people she was with were the reason why that memory was happy, so shouldn't they be there?

Nope! You know what other place resembles Hawkins but notably has zero people? The Upside Down. Hm! So the UD is a memory of some sort, but not really the memory. It's an illusion of the memory. Maybe the big difference between El's true memory travel compared to Max's illusion is that what Max did can actually alter the UD and technology in the real world. I already have a post discussing this topic here!

Will did this too. That's why the Wheeler house is stuck on the day he went missing. It's his memory that was replicated there. When Will did this after being kidnapped, it messed with the electricity in the real world when the memory takes place. So the TV goes out along with the garage lights. Will was there, but in a memory!

[pagannatural]

2.09 Croatoan

-my beloved

-The brothers go to Oregon because Sam has a vision of Dean shooting someone who pleads for his life.

-Sam thinks Dean is violent and out of control because of his grief but he’s actually violent and out of control because he’s losing his mind over Sam.

-Sam looks very Scared Little Brother when they realize the town has no phone signal. He stands really close to Dean. Sam is right. I forgot how scary this episode is.

-Sam hesitates to kill the son who had the mom tied up, and Dean berates him. Dean calls the son a “monster” and Sam says “it was a kid.” Dean likes a clean line between monster and human.

-Sam is always the one who comforts the victims and tells people everything will be okay, another way in which his role in the relationship is traditionally feminine. He’s the one women find non-threatening. (And he’s too distracted by Dean to be attracted to them).

-When the mom, Beverly, says “one minute they were my husband and my son and the next they had the devil in them” the camera cuts to Sam and Dean. This line could be Dean describing a blood-drinking Sam: one minute he was my husband and my son and the next he had the devil in him.

-One of the armed men blocking the road out of town asks Dean to get out of the car to “talk a little,” and Dean says “you are a handsome devil but I don’t swing that way, sorry.” It’s easy to forget that in the early 2000s, this kind of throwaway joke on network tv didn’t usually hint at a character’s hidden sexuality, it was just a vaguely biphobic little joke. But I do think there’s a reason it’s here.

The Croatoan virus is a demonic virus spread from blood infection that’s not visible just by looking at someone. So we have a little AIDS parallel. It’s also a similar concept to Sam’s demon blood. His blood represents choice and sin and the human mixed with the monstrous. Blood is also associated with family.

Incest and queerness are taboos that have often been conflated in fiction (and in history), and both have been strongly associated with monstrosity—think predatory sexuality, birth defects, infertility, rejection of the natural order. A desire that’s dangerous and wrong and destructive, that must stay hidden and can only survive in the shadows. The homoerotic incestuous monster hunters are the perfect storm of gothic queer horror.

Whether or not either brother is queer doesn’t affect the plot, and isn’t the point. I can see Dean grappling with being in love with Sam without questioning his sexuality at all. Sam is a category unto himself to Dean, and Sam doesn’t appear bothered about his sexuality aside from his feelings about Dean. But the confluence of these taboos—incest and queerness—with blood is central to the plot of the show and the question of what evil is. Really their love for each other and their shared blood is what saves them, keeps them human.

-Another of my absolute favorite underrated wincest moments is when Beverly is begging for her life from the utility room and Dean asks Sam “are you sure she’s one of them?” Sam barely nods and it’s enough for Dean to shoot her three times point blank. He doesn’t need any more information, just for Sam to nod slightly.

-Sam suggests that they need to leave to warn others of the virus and Dean tells him he has a good point. They respect each other’s input and work together well.

-Duane shows up and the situation becomes very tense. Sam is standing with his whole body facing Dean. In moments of extreme stress, Sam often seeks Dean’s protection rather than focusing on the threat.

-Dean has a gun on Duane with some urgency but Sam says “I gotta talk to you—now” and Dean leaves the room with him immediately.

Sam argues that they should wait and not kill Duane in case he isn’t infected. Dean says “what’s that buy us?”

“A clear conscience, for one.”

“Well it’s too late for that.” Is Dean talking about his guilt over John’s death? Or is this more about his general self hatred around never being enough to be everything for everyone, to give Sam everything that he needs and be the perfect son and soldier and brother and father and mother?

Sam tells him “you don’t act like yourself anymore, Dean. You’re acting like one of those things out there.” Dean does feel lost. He needs Sam to save him so that he can save Sam.

-Sam is so devoted to Dean this season. He spent season 1 gradually giving into his complete trust and commitment to Dean and now he’s been losing him or at risk of losing him in different ways all season. He fights tooth and nail for Dean every step of the way to get him to listen, to talk, to come back to him.

-Dean pushes Sam out of the way and locks him out, aiming to kill Duane. He says “it’s not him, not any more” and “I’ve got no choice.” But then Dean decides not to shoot him.

-When the doctor asks if it’s alright to untie Duane, Dean and Sam seem to have a wordless conversation in which Dean defers to Sam’s judgement, and Sam tells the doctor it’s okay to untie him.

-Sam is Dean’s morality. Dean is submitting to Sam, needing him to help him make the right choice. By doing this he’s also believing in Sam’s ability to stay good.

-Sam says about Dean not killing Duane “you know I’m gonna ask you why.”

Dean replies “yeah I know,” not looking up, focusing on keeping his hands busy making Molotov cocktails.

“So why? Why didn’t you do it?”

Dean looks at Sam with his chin tucked, like it’s hard to meet his eyes. He doesn’t answer. He clears his throat and says “we need more alcohol,” basically asking Sam to leave for a moment so that he can pull it together. He gazes after Sam with this raw, shamed look.

It’s the first of two parallels in this episode to their conversation in 1.19 where Sam says his reticence to date is mostly not about Jessica, and Dean asks “then what is it about?” and Sam just looks at him, implying heavily that it’s about Dean.

The question Dean was asking Sam there was essentially, Why can’t you love anyone else?

The first question Sam asks Dean is why he didn’t kill someone, but it’s also why Dean wants to do the right thing and not lose himself, and the answer is because of Sam.

-After Sam is attacked, he reaches for Dean’s hand to help him up off the floor and then just leaves his hand outstretched after Sarge holds Dean back and tells him Sam is infected. It’s like his muscle memory of reach-out-hand, Dean-pulls-me-up hasn’t caught on.

-The whole time Dean argues with the others about Sam, Sam only looks at the floor or at Dean. He’s not watching the conversation, he’s watching Dean because he’s scared and he looks to Dean when he’s scared.

-Dean says “no one’s shooting my brother”

He’s so protective. He was about to kill someone who might be infected just in case, but when it’s Sam he would simply rather die in a murder suicide and that’s that on that.

-Sam asks for the gun so that he can shoot himself, saying “I’m not gonna become one of those things.” This episode is pure foreshadowing for the end of s5. Sam refuses to become a monster, Dean chooses to stand by him and die rather than kill him. Because of their faith in each other, because they waited, things work out.

-Dean hands over the keys to the impala. He’s not fucking around. He tells the doctor “oh actually we’re not really marshals.” He’s in a truth telling mood, fuck it.

-Sam asks Dean to leave him and keep living, looking at him with incredulity and gratitude and love and fear.

Dean leaving him alone to die or become a monster would fulfill Sam’s deepest fear—left behind, not belonging, because something is wrong with him. But he still asks Dean to go, he throws a fit, he tells him “this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.” It reminds me of that scene from Titanic, Jack telling Rose “you’re so stupid” for staying with him instead of saving herself.

He says “it’s over for me, it doesn’t have to be for you.”

“No?”

“No. You can keep going.”

“Who says I want to?”

This scene is so dramatic and romantic. Close shots of their faces, Sam looking up at Dean with his eyes full of tears, begging him. Dean tells Sam he doesn’t want to go on without him.

Sam asks, what?

For a moment it almost looks like he’s taking this as the confession that it is, before Dean puts some distance between them and leans against the wall. This is the second scene is this episode to parallel their conversation in 1.19, this time even more closely.

Sam thinks Dean doesn’t want to go on because their dad died, but Dean says “you’re wrong. It’s not about dad. I mean part of it is, sure, but-“

Sam interrupts to ask “then what is it about?” and Dean gives him this look,

this look of love and tenderness, like he’s willing Sam to understand.

This time Sam’s question is Why don’t you want to live? And the answer is that Dean doesn’t want to live without Sam.

I love how this scene makes clear that Sam’s romantic partners compare directly to Dean. It confirms what Sam was thinking about in 1.19, because for these scenes to rhyme they must have been thinking about each other.

-The brothers share a romantic beer at the lake. Sam asks Dean what he was talking about last night in a way that honest-to-god sounds like he’s referring to pillow talk. Dean doesn’t want to tell so Sam keeps pushing, but their tones are teasing and light. They really sound like they’re flirting. Dean suggests that they go to the Grand Canyon.

Sam keeps questioning him, gentle but insistent, as Dean talks about taking a break.

-Where is our Grand Canyon episode?

-Sam looks so scared when Dean says John told him something about Sam before he died. I wonder what’s running through his head. There’s this feeling that people with Sam’s negative core belief often get, which is a fear that something is deeply wrong or rotten in them and that eventually other people will find out. He’s probably thinking that’s finally happened.

[omppupiiras]

my long & rambly thoughts about People's Champion the album 🍄‍🟫

Ready To Go.. ahh, first I have to make a confession that my first impression of this song was basically "..that's it?". But in my defence it was in the middle of the night & I was not maybe in the most receptive mood. 😂

but then over the course of a few days I went from "ok maybe i like it actually" all the way to "WAIT. it is a bop and also WHY AM I GETTING EMOTIONAL OVER IT? 😭😭" I could write a whole ass post about all my ready to feels and thoughts. It is, of course, about how Jere's ready to go. He doesn't care if the shoes he's stepping into are too big for him, he doesn't care that people don't believe in him. He knows that people only want to see him fail and are waiting to say "I told you so" when it happens. But he doesn't care about any of that because HE believes in himself. He's not giving up and he's going to give it his all and hell, this whole thing COULD blow up in his face but he doesn't care. He's ready to GO.

(and there's also something very naive and bittersweet about ready to go to me, he's giving this thing his all and throwing himself into it with eyes wide open, believing and trusting and full of expectations, but he doesn't actually know or understand where this road will take him. he will actually succeed beyond his or anyone else's wildest dreams, but there's no way he could have known before it happened how much it would cost him)

and ofc CCC coming immediately after ready to go is absolutely PERFECT placement!! I immediately became obsessed with the idea of the story this album was going to tell when we got the album art and title, and OH BOY. They did not disappoint!!

Because speaking of this album telling a story, next we have Tavavoltti. On first listen it's kind of a light-hearted funny song with fun sounds. But it following CCC makes one realize that hey. Wait. Oh. It's actually saying so much about his experiences after CCC. Like with ready to go i could write a darn essay about this song but.. it's about him being unable to say no. It's about him being the funny guy, and hey, funny guys can't not be happy, right?

(Täst roolista ryydyn, mut hymy ei hyydy

Oon syypää suun hymyyn, siks rooliini tyydyn

Everybody wants something from him and they don't mind tearing him apart to get it. And he's got everything a person could want, right? Surely? He's definitely not supposed to complain, so he resigns himself to the role of a circus monkey, the masochist that he is, and pushes himself to his absolute limits. (not to say that this song is all sad bc it's not! the chorus IS hopeful though maybe in a slightly melancholy way) but ONCE AGAIN a song that sounds like a bop is actually way more deep and meaningful than it has any right to be!! 😭

playing this role exhausts me, but my smile doesn't slip

i'm the reason for your smile, and that's why i accept my role)

and whew speaking of being a masochist, next we have ruoska. damn. DAMN. this album, man. i love ruoska moving on

Kot Kot, kot kot. This song boldly starts off with "mayday", and isn't that a choice? To me Kot Kot is about Jere needing help but he hasn't admitted that to himself yet. He has given away so much of himself yet he doesn't understand why he feels so empty now. The partying and drinking don't really help but it's all he knows how to do.

Skit immediately following Kot Kot kills me DEAD. It makes both of these songs desperately sad. In Kot Kot, he needs help. In Skit, he's asking for it and being dismissed. My theory is that the therapist in Skit represents how difficult it was for him to reach out for help or even to have people who understand. How could he even explain to someone how something so amazing can be so terrible? Does anyone even care to hear that, to listen to him talk about it? His problems aren't normal people problems, anymore.

Autiomaa, autiomaa, autiomaa. I loved Autiomaa from the first snippet he shared and the full song did not disappoint. Bye bye my old favorite Käärijä song Menestynyt Yksilö, Autiomaa has taken your place. 😭 Seems like I have a theme going on lol, I love songs where he gets real and personal, and in Autiomaa he does that on a whole new level.

I love that he was brave enough to write Autiomaa and bold enough to make sure people understood Autiomaa is a big deal to him. He wanted to share his feelings and be understood and heard. The music video is such a piece of art and besides being so emotional this song is just so damn GOOD. He's such a master of the finnish language in the way he writes lyrics.

I love sex = money and of course in true käärijä style it's a bop but it also says something very real with its lyrics. but hey! sex sells! better get selling then

bananas is the song i have the least feelings & thoughts about haha. I like all the foodstuff lyrics but that's about it 😂 maybe i will have more feelings about it when i hear it live

next we have Huhhahhei and I must confess.. it's not for me fam. I don't like it. 🙈 I can't put this into words in any way that makes sense, but to me Huhhahhei is different to every other Käärijä song. The lyrics are generic in a way that almost makes it feel like this song is about nothing at all. I don't see it as a love song either, to me the lyrics are just saying words to say them without really meaning anything. so for that reason to me Huhhahhei is the song that fits on this album the least.

icip kind of feels like a breath of fresh air in the album - it's crazy it's party, life is life. things aren't so doom and gloom anymore. with its placement in the album it feels like jere accepts all the good and the bad and now he has learned to enjoy being an artist again. he's had a hell of a party that he couldn't escape, maybe he lost his mind a little along the way, but he made it out to the other side. ta-da, ta-da, ta-da...

and lastly, People's Champion. It's a lovely song and a perfect song to end the album with. but i have written so many words now i dont have much left for people's champion dgdfgldf but i love it a lot and im so glad jere won the battle for this to be included bc truly, what would this album be without this song??

[howlsofbloodhounds]

hii so as wick said you are the killer guy. ive learned a lot abt him through you i think, and if i make or reblog smthn abt him and then *you* reblog it im like "!! i did him right i got the character right!!"

so as such ive gotta ask. ink and killer. both are aware of someone watching them, making choices for them to further the story as they please. the creators/players. but both have different opinions of them. i wanna know what you think would be like- differences/similarities between their views. would they get along on this subject, would they not (i dont think they would tbh), etc.

im sorry if this isn't very coherent im still asleep 😭😭

Hiii! 👋 I always enjoy reading or seeing anything you make about killer, id reblog and like every single one.

And I agree with you that this is a subject that ink and killer wouldn’t really agree upon, simply because their experiences with the creators/players are very different.

Other than the obvious ones, where Ink has a positive outlook on creators and Killer doesn’t really, Ink also needs creators to stay alive and healthy. And if I remember correctly, Ink was not made by creators specifically to protect AUs. That’s a choice he made on his own, to not only ensure his own survival, but to have a purpose and feel like his life has meaning.

Ink had some agency in a way, and was happy to do something as grand as protecting entire universes. No one’s gonna be able to really stop him if he decides to shrug his shoulders and retire from protecting AUs one day, no one but himself really.

Meanwhile, Killer’s Determination would not allow him to do that so easily. Just look at Stage 4.

Killer did not have any real agency or a say—Sans did not agree to anything like gaining Determination or ‘fusing’ souls—and he was “created” and cultivated for specific purposes; to kill, to entertain, to be a partner, to do a Genocide. To destroy timelines and worlds in a way. If you interpret the Angel in the prophecy to be the Player, it can be said that Killer was made and cultivated for the purpose of being our avatar.

He enacts our will. We want him to kill? Do a Genocide? We want to be the Angel of Death and liberate the Underground by emptying it completely? He is one of our means to do that.

We want to complete the game, try every single avenue and maybe even create our own paths, regardless of how it actually affects the structure of the world/game? He’s our means to do what we normally couldn’t. To do something new.

Because we aren’t doing it. He is, by following our commands. Proceed.

Killer is our right hand, Frisk is the left, and Chara is the feeling we have when we level up, when we gain more stats; they guide and support us on our way eventually, as they do for Killer too; until Killer decides one day that he no longer needs them and needs something new. They are our means of interacting with the world.

Which means Killer could also have the dual purpose of being Chara’s partner, meant to accompany them along on their journey. Perhaps Sans was just the Player’s favorite character, or we just wanted something new. And Chara wanted a partner, a friend, a companion.

I’m sure there’s an ending out there where Killer never turns on Chara and the two of them find a way to leave their timeline to continue on elsewhere. Perhaps by Erasing it and moving on to the next world, as Chara says at the end of the canon Genocide route.

Only we don’t have complete control over Killer, because he is not supposed to be our Avatar. Killer is not supposed to exist, yet he does because we wanted him to. The whole reason Killer’s Stage 2 exist in the state that it does is because it represents Sans fighting back against the Determination SOUL.

Because Sans never wanted this. Ever. We just made him think he did. Something New was Snowgrave before Snowgrave.

We took him and shattered him completely and arranged his parts in a way that suited our desires and built him back up in our preferred image before freezing him in that state. And we did it by first taking everything from him, including himself.

Ink doesn’t remember anything after he tore up his soul, and even if he did, why would he chose anything differently? He and his universe were nothing but incomplete, rough sketches that were abandoned.

Ink came from nothing, and now has everything.

Ink finds purpose with the Creators and admires their works, seeks to protect their AUs and their scripts from anything he perceives as an anomaly.

Killer has a purpose for existing. He just wishes he didn’t. I’m sure that, at his lowest points, Killer would give anything to go back to being nothing.

( @alyimoss ).

(Also maybe an odd opinion but I honestly feel that this particular part of Something New is the reason why it would’ve worked a bit better in a game format rather than a comic.)

(And you know. I can see a little scene where, like..Ink says something about how the Player prefers “Killer” over “Sans” now. So Killer must feel very loved by us.

And of course, as is often the case with Killer, his emotional investment and reactions about/towards the Player during conversations with people like Ink would differ based on what Stage he is in.

Stage 2 is unlikely to be able to feel much intense emotions or opinions about us, and is therefore is able to approach this type of topic from a more detached, apathetic lens. A sense of resigned acceptance, even. He exists because we want to play, so he will put on a show.

I’m sure he’d have strong feelings about it in all the other Stages, but it’s not like Stages 3 and 4 are exactly capable of sitting down and having clear minded full conversations about it.

That’s more Stage 1’s thing, with all the emotional baggage and all. Because it’s not like knowing why really changes anything for him; he still did it, it was his hands. He does have a tendency to hurt himself for us, as Color has said.)

[garmanarnarr]

Not a ground breaking thought but one I have been obsessing over: as a character, Rick is defined by his relationship to his own agency, ie, his virtually limitless amounts of it. He has, in almost every situation the show puts him in, a choice in the matter. In a lot of ways, his technical/physical power is nearly complete— he can build a solution to any obstacle presented to him, or kill it, or destroy it, or escape it. He’s so self-aware he’s breaking the fourth wall, cracking jokes at the audience. In-universe, he could LEAVE Beth and her family at any time. Get in his freaking spaceship and fly out of there. He’s an alcoholic that’s substance dependent because he has to numb himself to the amount of choice and agency he has. And I don’t really blame him?? Because, let’s face it, the idea that you can TRULY do whatever you want is terrifying (hence his nihilism, also. if you can truly do whatever the hell you want, what really matters? what is your struggle? etc). It’s in the DNA of the show: what are the narrative problems to solve when your protagonist can do…… virtually anything he wants?

ENTER MORTIMER

That’s what makes his obsession with Morty so fucking interesting!! His grandson! His irrational attachment! The way he’s scrambling to control Morty in whatever way possible!! Sure, there are other family attachments in the rest of the Smiths, and some friends here and there. There's Diane. There’s also probably some other whole meta post to be written about Rick’s nuclear levels of self-loathing and how that ties in with all this into some kind of psychosexual soup. But the show’s backbone is about his relationship Morty. Morty!!!!! Rick’s own feelings for Morty represent a lack of control that is, for a someone entirely defined by their omnipotent (canonically ‘god-like’) levels of it, astonishing. Rick’s love for Morty is, in his mind, his own greatest frustration and most insurmountable defeat. And even worse, because Rick cares about Morty, he has to, at least to some extent, care about the universe because that’s the thing Morty exists inside.

Rick, who cares about nothing, CARES about Morty. And he just can’t. fucking. stop. himself.

[falloutnewnobody]

ik i talk about myron on this blog a lot but like that's because he's such a facinating character to me. Like he's such a well written asshole to the degree that everyone fucking hates him. i literally had to take my headphones out during the conversation with him at the Stables because i was so vicerally uncomfortable.

But like from a character analysis standpoint he's so facinating partially because he's such an effective microchosm of new reno. like there's the surface level obsession with power, drugs, sex, and money but also the driving force of his character: that one's entire worth is directly tied to their ability to obtain or give those three things.

Myron is presented as someone who holds the classic new reno values, and has won that game.

And like. the fact that he's presented as a pathetic loser kinda decrys that values system. he's a living representation of the sort of vapidity and exploitative attitudes that drive new reno (or if you wanna apply this to the real world american capitalism) He is the new reno ideal. he made it and now has everything he could ever want. and he's the fucking worst

and further, he's UNHAPPY. which he initially blames on not being respected enough, but if pressed he will admit that it's because he's not able to actually engage with his passion (chemistry) in a new way. and if the player keeps him in their party long enough, he point blank says that hes happier traveling with the player than working at the Stables. Which like. is a really clear metaphor (intentional or not) for how things like companionship and pursuit of passions are so much more emotionally fulfilling than sex drugs rock and roll and all that jazz.

Still, i really apriciate that black isle didnt just let you speech check him into being a good person. he and the system he represents are inherently rotten to the core and even if he was capable of change, the choices he's made and the system he's stuck within killed him before he'd have a fighting chance. Being away from reno, and curing jet somewhat show a glimmer of a chance of him changing with the right tools and support system, but the game is very clear in asserting that the world, just like myron, is cruel and selfish and careless, and wouldnt give him that chance.

anyway not sure how much sense this makes.

[a-jar-of-beetles]

kristen thoughts plus divine musings

I really want to write out my theory and speculations about last episode but Kristen C. Applebee's won't stop taking up all my brain space so I might as well share my ramblings.

First off it was a really interesting choice to reach out to her parents she could have easily settled for checking in with Bucky to see how he and their other siblings were doing, but decided to talk to her parents anyway which besides being brave also shows a maturity that often alludes Kristen (not that ignoring her parents for the rest of her life is immature but that's not the point I'm making).

Although I wish she could have interacted more with her brothers her conversation with her parents was not as confrontational as I would have expected I for sure thought that Kristen would have bitten back at the "Helio might not have let that happen" comment when Kristen the literal chosen one of Helio has died multiple times.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the way Mac and Donna talked about Galicaea, they acted like she was just some random goddess but in Elysium Galicaea refers to Sol as her brother which is a weird thing for Kristen's parents to ignore so is the fact that Sol and Galicaea are siblings something that not common knowledge? Could it just be something that's forbidden or just taboo to talk about? Mac and Donna were also pretty judgemental about elves when they were first introduced so maybe it has something to do with that?

So that got me thinking about how Cassandra is mostly referred to as Galicaea's sister instead of Sol's while it could just be that they're both associated with night and that they both had elven followers but it made me wonder what type of relationship they had. Were they just never close in Elysium he never mentioned Cassandra but that could have just been because Kristen didn't ask him about her the only real thing we know about Sol is that he obviously approved of Ankarna and Cassandra otherwise he wouldn't have officiated their wedding.

Which brought me back to how Sol followers in the modern/evangelist church of Sol don't seem to actually know or care about what Sol actually represents/represented, which made me think about the inverse. Does Sol even truly know what's going on with his followers? Because of devil's nectar we know Gods can be purposely deceived but we also know that the nectar works by deceiving yourself first so if you truly believe something and tell your God the same they will believe it too because in Spyre the gods aren't omniscient, we've literally seen it with Galicaea who thought that Cassandra erasing her old name was her own idea and the Nightmare King killed her even when there was evidence to the contrary. Do you think her clerics did it on purpose? Whether their words were Honeyed or delusional Galicaea was still lied to. Galicaea who loved her sister, who would destroy anyone that would dare hurt her baby sister, who bared her fangs at the mention of doubt and only spoke of conviction and clarity which belonged to her fallen sister in law.

Do you think that after Cassandra died Ankarna wasn't the only one who got corrupted? Do you think that with out someone to champion doubt and hold peoples hand through the unknown, people stopped questioning the words of their preachers, paladins and clerics? because doubt became hard to speak about was it just ignored and swallowed? Was it the avoidance of doubt that made the followers of Sol demonize Ankarna? Because without Cassandra Ankarna was no longer a part of their family? Sol and Galicaea did they care? How did they when they lost the last part of Cassandra besides themselves? Were they sad?angry? relived? upset? apathetic? Did they even notice it happen at all?

Maybe I've just been thinking too much

IDK

[lipstickchainsaw]

Oh, for the stp questions, what do you think of the thorn? She is my favourite 🫶🫶

I think the Witch > Thorn route is probably my favourite, and most thematically coherent/meaty? Some Chapter 3 Princesses' are just their Chapter 2 version but More (like the Eye of the Needle, arguably the Den), but the Thorn really does stand out as a more fleshed out narrative, with more depth.

To get into the route, you have to either cheat the first choice (first going down without the Pristine Blade to lock the Princess into her more 'harmless' version before going back up grab the Blade and slay her), or take the first opportunity to stab her once her back is turned (yes, the Narrator is pushing you to do it, or you've locked yourself out of resisting because you already played the Damsel, but from her perspective, that doesn't make a difference). To build on what I said in my essay on the Pristine Blade, the simple fact that you have access to the Blade influences the dynamic between you and the Princess (corrupts it, really).

In either case, you really do betray her trust, and this hurts her considerably more than the arm torn/cut off, or whatever cuts you leave on her otherwise, because the violence she can immediately repay with her own. It's the hurt, the knowledge that she trusted you with her vulnerability and you took advantage of it, that she can't resolve, and this is, naturally, what the next chapter is about.

I'm not wholly sure why she's called the Witch, because she does surprisingly few things we might associate with witches.

Regardless, going in, you're joined by the Voice of the Opportunist, whose entire shtick is looking for ways to eke out short-term advantages without a care for any long-term concerns. In short, this fucker will defect in the prisoner dilemma after telling you he's going to cooperate, honest, and then be surprised you don't trust him in the second iteration, because he's on your side this time, he promises!

And this is how the Witch sees you, the Protagonist, because that's what these voices represent, and she sees her only defense against your backstabbing ways is to... be that exact same thing. To also keep her cards close to her chest, and jump at whatever first opportunity she gets to get one over on you (this is what she does if you turn your back on her in this route, even at the cost of her own life, the Scorpion and Frog/Farmer and Viper parallels are explicitly mentioned in the achievement). She's been hurt, and the only way she can avoid being hurt again, is to hurt you first.

The main difference between you and her, of course, is that you have the Blade, the power in this situation (yes, she did kill you last time, but that's hardly what matters here), and acknowledging this is the key to getting to the Thorn.

Because you have to give it up! You have to give the Blade to her, by way of apology, putting your trust in someone you know has no reason to like you and every reason to hurt you, and you have to put yourself at her mercy. Let her use that power against you like you did against her.

And the Witch doesn't understand why you do it! Why would you give up the upper hand when you have it? She wouldn't, after all. So she's suspicious, and she doesn't know what you're doing, but she remembers the hurt, and whatever game you're playing, she can now hurt you before you hurt her, so she takes the opportunity to kill you and immediately proves that hurting you doesn't stop her from being hurt either.

She asks you why you let her do that to her, because hurting you didn't resolve the dissonance between what she thought you were like and what you actually did. Hurting you doesn't suddenly bring your plan into clarity, and it leaves her incredibly confused.

But I think she asks herself another question, quietly, without quite being willing to acknowledge it to herself:

'Why would I do that?'

And this finally brings us to the Thorn (sorry for taking so long to actually get to her, anon, but I can't help myself). Some time has passed between the end of the Witch and now, and she had been plagued with those questions, with thinking of who she is, what she wants to be, and how to deal with the hurt while she tries really hard to figure out if she can actually trust you or not.

This is why the first question she asks you is if you're there to laugh at her. She thinks she might have seen your play (and she can be correct if you do decide to laugh at her! The achievement being called 'Past Life Gambit' is very fitting. You get a ton of opportunities to be cruel to her here and validate her distrust!), and when you say you're not, she's just... lost.

The thorns around are neat, because the degree to which this betrayal has hurt her also causes her to hurt herself. The thorns are pointed inward. You can get in, but you can't get out, and neither can she! This distrust within her is literally digging into her own skin, and even though she has the Blade, has the power in this situation, she cannot use it to resolve this situation for herself. She's going to need you, but if she gives you that power, how can she possibly know you're not just going to hurt her again? How does she know you're not going to make the same decision she did? How can she make the decision you did last time, when she doesn't understand why you did it?

And these fears are not unjustified! For all that the Opportunist is in favour of schmoozing up to the Thorn, the moment she gives up the Blade, he turns into the Witch again, immediately suggesting the very choice that resulted in the very misery the Thorn is now struggling with (because the Opportunist is kind of an asshole). Even though you both know you need each other to get out of this mess long-term, actually doing that when you've both stabbed each other in the back previously is not easy, and giving in to those short-term impulses is so very tempting. How do the Scorpion and the Frog not kill one another?

And this provokes big argument in your own mind, too, long enough the Thorn gets worried she fucked up by giving you the Blade in this anxious way that doesn't understand why you haven't made either decision yet.

Fortunately, the Opportunist is joined by the Smitten at this point (and I think this is a bit of a redemption for the Smitten compared to the Damsel route, but that's a matter for another post), and he argues very passionately (because whenever does he not) in favour of the beauty of trust and cooperation and love!

And so by sharing your power and using it with care (the Narrator even tries to make you slip, but the Smitten says no), you resolve the pain at the heart of the Thorn, and finally make it clear that you do deserve her trust as she deserves yours, and you get arguably the best ending of a single run.

Of the Third Chapter Princesses, I think the Thorn stands out in becoming more... human compared to her previous, rather than less. It adds a lot of depth to her narrative, and makes the resulting romance feel more real than the other options.

And of the potential Witch follow-ups, I think the Thorn is a more interesting resolution than the Wild, because the Wild is more about burying the resentment and pain and pretend none of it happened and you're united as one, whereas the Thorn sees you actually resolve your differences and develop a more healthy relationship in the wake of it.

And you teach the Opportunist the value of long-term thinking, which is neat.

Also, you get the only kiss in the game on this route, so that's also fun.

In short, yeah, fantastic route, interesting and nuanced Princess, wonderful resolution.

[shakespearean-snape]

I’m rereading OOTP right now and I find that scene between Severus and Sirius in the kitchen to be highly relevant in the context of Severus as a feminine-coded character (and Sirius as a representation of toxic masculinity). Sirius is very outwardly aggressive in this scene in a conventionally masculine way, while Severus weaponizes his sarcasm and wit in a way that could be thought of as a more “feminine” form of defence. While Harry describes Sirius’s voice as getting progressively louder and angrier, he describes Severus’s voice as “soft” in contrast (as he usually does, which is also interesting in the context of Severus as a feminine man/GNC character). Sirius gets up and tries to intimidate Severus physically, and Severus grips his wand inside his pocket in a way that reminded me of a victim of domestic violence preparing to defend herself against her abuser.

I’m not sure how much of this was intentional considering how rigid JKR’s views on gender have unfortunately turned out to be, but I can’t help but read Severus as a feminine character, especially since he’s meant to act as a stand in for Lily in the same way as Sirius acts as a stand in for James. It’s very easy to read Sev as gender non conforming and/or LGBTQ, although given JKR’s own views it’s doubtful she meant for us to read him that way (but fuck her, she’s a massive transphobe, the characters are ours now, we can do what we like with them).

Note to self, start checking your inbox regularly. These changes to Tumblr are killing me because the notifications when I get messages or asks are hit-or-miss at best.

Anyways, this is such a great observation! I'm only just learning about coding and that that is even the term for it from reading about it from other Snape bloggers like @idealistic-realism00, @raptured-night, and @professormcguire since I only took the required English courses both my undergraduate years and beyond that my major was in sociology.

So, I'm not really any kind of expert but I do have a lot of personal experience from being biracial and queer myself just with learning to read between the lines and find representation for myself where I can and I think that is the case for a lot of people from less represented, marginalized backgrounds. We have a certain instinct for these things so even without any kind of formal study we sort of know the "codes" (for better or worse depending on what the author's intent is and if it's a negative dog-whistle or something more positive to get around censorships of the time) if that makes any kind of sense.

For me, I always saw Sirius and Snape as two sides of a coin. There were some very obvious parallels and contrasts between them and this really goes to that in a lot of ways for me. Both Sirius and Snape are two men who made pivotal choices in their youths that very much define them and have led to a great deal of internalized guilt and impacted their behaviors as adults. Both Sirius and Snape find themselves confined to their childhood homes at different points, Sirius at Grimmauld Place with Kreacher and Snape at Spinner's End with Peter Pettigrew (both Kreacher and Peter are characters that also are known for betraying Harry and costing him someone he loves at different points and making a turn around in regards to Harry because of kindness or mercy he showed to them).

Where Sirius made the choice to make Peter the Secret Keeper with only James, Lily, and Peter knowing and it ultimately led to the death of the Potters and him being sentenced to twelve years in Azkaban, Snape also unwittingly delivered part of the fated prophecy that led to Voldemort targeting the Potters. Most interesting for me is that Snape's friendship with Lily and Sirius's friendship with James could be read as either platonic or a case of unrequited romantic feelings. There is the observation in SWM made by Harry that while Sirius was clearly a looker who attracted the attention of girls, his attention was fully on James and not on those admiring glances. So, when looking at Sirius's relationship with James through a comparative lens to Snape's with Lily they could be platonic friends or both Sirius and Snape could have had romantic feelings for their best friends while, ironically enough, Sirius had to watch James fall for and succeed in winning over Lily just as Snape had to do the same.

In the case of Snape and Sirius there is also a degree of regression and arrested development stemming from trauma (and both men at different points make the clear mistake of seeing Harry as a stand-in for James as a result of said trauma). Where Sirius spent twelve years in Azkaban able to hold onto his sanity against the Dementors in part because he knew he was innocent and the truth of what happened was a deeply unhappy thing for him, Snape spent decades in Dumbledore's service at Hogwarts (a place with its own unhappy associations for him having found it was not a refuge from life at Spinner's End with Tobias as he had hoped but another place where he would be bullied relentlessly, overlooked by his Head of House and housemates for being a poor half-blood with no status, subject to institutional failures resulting from yet more adult authority figures in his life not protecting him, groomed by Voldemort's followers and responsible for alienating his closest friend as a result) teaching children when clearly he does not have the temperament and, courtesy of his role as a spy, concealing his own truths and intentionally not allowing people to know the best of him. In a sense, both men had a negative public image that ran counter to the full truth about them and both of them died without being able to see those misconceptions vindicated (Sirius died still presumed by the Ministry and general public to have been the traitor who turned his friends over to Voldemort and murdered innocent people and Snape died knowing he had delivered information to Harry that would lead to his death and unsure of the outcome of the war with everyone thinking him a coward and murderer).

There's just, a LOT of parallels there between the two when you start to unpack them as characters. Even the fact that they both came from domestic dysfunction and unhappy home lives. It makes their mutual antagonism all the more of a tragedy because if not for Sirius's prejudice (which is arguably more understandable given his family and their long tradition of being sorted into Slytherin) against Slytherins and antagonism of young Snape on the train and the years of bullying and bad blood that followed, these two men had the most potential to understand each other. Alas, they do not, but it is their likenesses that makes their differences in how they clash all the more interesting because, as you noted, there are stark differences there. Sirius is all overt masculine energy; hot-headed and physically imposing while Snape is more strained, the ice to his fire.

Most striking to me was always the difference in how little respect Sirius showed to Snape's body while he was unconscious (further demonstrating how little Sirius has changed from the teenage boy who once stood with James and exposed Snape to laughing schoolmates) versus how Snape conjured a stretcher while still under the impression he was the one responsible for betraying the Potters (and the death of Lily). In that way, we get to see how Snape has developed as a person away from his past choices and learned from them. He may still regress, as he does quite plainly when forced to return to the Shrieking Shack and is confronted by Sirius and Remus there, but he isn't quite in the full state of arrested development as Sirius (but given his circumstances in Azkaban that isn't entirely surprising either; there is a tragedy to Sirius's character for all that there is as much of a darkness as there was in Snape during his time as a Death Eater and the fact so many Marauder apologists who double as "Snaters" refuse to acknowledge that outside of romanticizing the angst of it all while vilifying Snape is quite possibly an even greater tragedy, imo) which is why Sirius's death came in part due to his inability to move beyond his past and find it within himself to treat Kreacher with a modicum of understanding or empathy (in addition to his desire to be part of the action again and recapture his lost youth when it was him and James in the Order together) while Snape's death came only after he had to reconcile with the fact his original raison d'être for becoming a spy (to protect Harry for Lily as penance) ran counter to what was needed to defeat Voldemort for good and he still chose to stay the course instead of pursue his own agenda and act on his own self-interests.

In short, Sirius's death was partly due to the fact he couldn't move beyond the past. While Snape's death came as a result of the fact he had grown enough as a character to set aside his past motivations and see things through because he had become someone who conjured stretchers even for hated enemies and risked his life to save all those who he could save (including Sirius and Remus).

Thanks for the ask and I'm so sorry it took so long to respond but it gave me even more to think about. The masculine vs. feminine coding just adds an extra element to Snape and Sirius's dynamic when it was already interesting to me and I've always had a lot of thoughts about how those two were written with so many parallels and points of contrast. Love this ask!

[mswyrr]

lucy gray baird's philosophy

I want to "yes, and" this great meta post by @burst-of-iridescent​. Specifically this part:

by the end of the book, coriolanus gives in fully to dr gaul’s way of thinking simply because it excuses him from accepting blame for his actions. if he killed sejanus, it’s because he had no choice. if he betrayed lucy gray, it’s because she would’ve betrayed him first. coriolanus refuses to believe in the goodness of humanity because that would have meant accepting the goodness that existed within him, and with that came the potential for making a different, better choice - potential that he knew, deep down, he had wasted. attributing his crimes to an innate evil that no one can overcome means that he can’t be held accountable, because it’s out of his control.

This got me thinking about how much Lucy Gray's worldview rejects of this way of thinking (and of a Calvinist*/ableist "some people are just born evil" pov people try to impose on the text, which people think is condemning him but actually... accidentally agrees with him that he was born evil and therefore can't help it??????). The book begins with several quotes chosen by the author, but I believe the one that represents Lucy Gray's worldview is Rousseau, who believed people were born with fundamental goodness.

Here's a source on him:

(Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy)

And here's the quote Collins opens with:

“Man is born free; and everywhere he is in chains.” — Jean-Jacques Rousseau, The Social Contract, 1762

That's Lucy Gray's pov she's come to through living and reflecting as an artist; someone can disagree with it (of course, all of these questions are open for endless debate; they have been debated endlessly!) however, it's important to respect that is where she's coming from, not being foolish or naive. It is a worthy pov that should be respected, even if you disagree. And that she came to this pov through a hard life and from much thinking and she expresses it beautifully in her art.

Here's the key exchange from the book, after Coriolanus has taken on the idea that people are just awful and her articulating her philosophy in response:

(Ballad, 495)

She's not naive. She recognizes the nuance that Rousseau does, that society shapes us. And Panem is pretty clearly a society led by people applying all the pressures they can think of on people toward evil. (And, after his heel turn, Coriolanus' is going to innovate some new pressures...) Clearly there are situations and circumstances that form us before we have much say in it, but that's not the same as being born evil.

The difference between inherent goodness and a corrupt society is, for Lucy Gray, a lot of hard work. It's a struggle. This repudiates both the version of "born evil" Coriolanus himself takes on, which relieves him of responsibility, and the self-righteous, Calvinist and/or ableist pov people keep arguing for, which makes "normal" people feel like they can be sure they're good (and ignore how we are all complicit in evil to some degree or another) because they have a "good" normal brain or they were just born so pure as a soul predestined for heaven. No, for her, everyone has to do the work. To her it's everyone's "life's challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line."

Even more pointedly, the love song she wrote him before his betrayal, "Pure as the Driven Snow," articulates her philosophy in the opening lines:

(Ballad, 481)

Again, we have her personal focus on the work of "staying on the right side" of good and evil after being born good into evil circumstances. She knows it hurts; she's led a hard life herself. "It's rough as a bair" to do that work, it's "like walkin' through fire." But it is doable.

Lucy Gray meant it as a love song but IMO "Pure as the Driven Snow" ends up a lament for the boy Coriolanus was and her love that he betrayed when he betrayed himself. And it is a direct rejection of his excuses, it is inadvertently reading him for filth for the lies he tells himself that all the world is the Games arena, all people are selfish and bad, and he isn't to blame for what he's done because he just wants to come out on top/be the victor of this "natural" "war of all against all" that is Gaul's philosophy (related to the Hobbes quote Collins begins with; I wrote a meta on that here) that he adopts.

I see her demeaned as a foolish girl who just "like bad boys" and I get so frustrated. I also get frustrated by the view that she must not have ever been sincere in loving or trusting him because IF SHE WAS then she would be a fool and his betrayal would somehow be her fault. And she'd reject the idea that she's "good" just because she's so pure or that anyone can claim we're good without doing a lot of hard work.

(Ballad, 482)

She is so thoughtful and interesting as a character. And she didn't just "like bad boys" - Coriolanus showed only his good side to her until the very end, once he'd decided to kill that part of himself. She had no way of knowing. Sometimes you trust someone and they betray you, it doesn't make you wrong, the shame is all theirs.

*Strict Calvinist predestination is some people are just predetermined to be bound for heaven and some for hell, some people are just born good and others are born bad. A lot of people in fandom seem to love Calvinism idk why. The ableism bit of this should be self-evident: there is no such thing as a "bad" brain type completely incapable of morality or a "good" brain and neurodivergence is not the source of all evil!