#like sorry the reality of who they are doesnt match up with your expectation of them

[nururu]

I hate when ppl have this need to be better than others to the point that they're cruel to those they're jealous of, and then at the end of the day they're not even on par with those they're jealous of so like.... they don't even have the right to act like that..... it gives insecure. It gives lack of self love. It gives undeserved ego. It gives second hand embarrassment.

[active-mind-15]

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDD?!?!?!?!?!

OK RAKUZAN BEACH EVENT

They had really cute reactions when they arrived at the beach. Hayama and Nebuya were obviously excited. Hayama was shouting about how wide the sea was and mayuyu being his snarky self said "It's wide because its the sea😐😐"

We also got the team in swimsuits

(Now that I think about it akashi's sprite is less muscular than the others. Maybe if he moved his arms out of the way I could be sure)

Also akashi says that he's been to this beach several times before. Thing is the beach is in Kyoto. Do you think the akashi family went on vacation to kyoto often?? IMAGINE BABY AKASHI AT THE BEACH WITH HIS FAMILY🥺🥺

Then Mibuchi goes on a rant about sunscreen and makes the rest of them put it on. Although mayuyu refuses because he wants to sit under the parasol and read.

Akashi also brings a barbecue set that he rented from the beach house. So they eat shrimp and scallops together on the beach. Then akashi suggests they go snorkeling. Now even though mayuyu said he wouldn't go into the ocean, the man's agreeing the minute akashi asks him to join.

So they go snorkeling and mayuyu has the most unimpressed reactions to everything. He sees an octopus and he just goes "hmm...octopus." And what's crazy is that Hayama gets stung by a jellyfish. And akashi performs first aid on him. I don't think they went to the went to the hospital though😓😓(they probably should)

So they stay there for a couple of hours and they watch the sun set together. And then akashi says "We have some time until the train home, so let's stay here a little longer."

Now I'm definitely overthinking this but I feel like during this whole thing akashi didn't feel the pressure of being who he is. Here he's not the captain of rakuzan or student council president or captain of the GoM. He's just a teenager spending time with his friends on a beach. And I think he enjoyed not having to be absolutely perfect at all times so he didn't really want to go back to all that very soon.

ALSO before rakuzan was shown heading to the beach, the others teams had apparently found out about it. And kise and takao were discussing about how it's impossible to think that a team like rakuzans would go to a beach.

Now this got me thinking, is this a common occurrence for the rakuzan gang? Do people assume that they wouldn't do normal things, just like how people assume akashi wouldn't?? Because it's not like they're different from the others, they're teenagers just like all the other teams. Why wouldn't they go to the beach which is a very normal spot to hang out?? Have they also been dehumanized(ok probably too harsh of a word to use but you get the idea) because of the fact that rakuzan is a powerhouse school?

[helplessautomaton]

WC 876

addon to the last post abt yandere daisuke,, sorry gang i lowkey forgor. also, i dont think i can keep using ingame screenshots for the header so i might ditch that because i don't want to use outside sources. tbf i could just draw my own for that- anyways!

i straight up forgot about the please aspect and did not take advantage of that! mightve gotten cared away, apologies hehe, also this is my last post for today, sorry

~

its gonna start off slow with daisuke, he just wants praise from the people around him who know better! he just wants to know hes doing a good job so please tell him he is. as his obsession starts to grow hes unaware of his expression with his eyes. staring at you, expecting— wanting praise, just to give him that extra boost. as time progresses along with his attachment towards you, no matter what part you have in the crew, he tries to help you. his cheery smile making it hard to resist and say no. gently grabbing your hands while you two take a break, blabbering on about what he managed to do and going off topic about whatever. all this while he has a golden smile directed at you, the way his eyes crinkle at the corners to match.

when you hang around swansea and daisuke, you semi-jokingly praise him to give him more of a boost. its sends him over the moon to know hes doing right by you! swansea makes little teasing comments when daisuke is out of ear. as he starts to get more conscious of his obsession with you, he acts on it more knowingly. trying to push the buttons he know works even when its starting wear off and you hesitantly go along with it.

he wants to share his happiness you give to him, he wants to see you happy. at this point you are his world and hes not willing to give that up to anyone. even if it makes him a little uncharacteristicly harsh to the other crew members. he doesnt risk what he doesnt have to, even if curly or anya warm up to you the same way he originally started out. thats not to say it doesn't tug at daisuke and makes him annoyed, he knows its not rational but for jimmy he is justified if he dares to try anything. i feel like he would over look or straight up not notice if swansea treat you very slightly better because lets be honest, hes probably getting that same deal as well. theres so much daisuke wants to do but due to the environment he cant, but him stealing a packet or two of sugar just for you can make up for it.

really at this point, daisuke is at your beck n call whether you want it or not, hes so attached he refuses to let go. hes still his usual self when hes only with you, optimistic and bright eyed. even if swansea is hitting him in the back of the head to make him focus. but during this point everyone is starting to notice daisuke's behavior and the frustration sets in. even if curly tries to redirect him back to speed, daisuke needs you. attempting to praise him just to get him to do his job wont exactly work if you have to speed off to your intended chores. jimmy's comments start to become more sharp as he glares at the both of you while all you can do is look away, really just not wanting this either.

after the crash, he uses his tears to just get something, mostly he wants reassurance to refresh his optimism. especially when he gets drunk on the mouthwash, he cant help it, hes still doing a good job despite it all, right? he tries his best to keep you content in anyway shape or form, even if it means hiding you away from everyone for a little while. afterall, what can he do anymore. so please, just let him make you smile for sometime before the situation breaks back through to reality.

//

"daisuke can you please keep on? youre doing a wonderful job we can go on a break soon." you try to charm your way through, swansea was getting more snappy at the both of you. daisuke's let his smile takeover, his eyes crinkling, nodding he continues under whatever swansea needs him to do. the tension in the room was clear, your jaw was tensed up, this had been the 6th day you had to do this. you worked beside anya not swansea, yet daisuke needed you or else youd be hearing complaints from 4 people of the crew out of 5. you werent even paying attention to the way either swansea or daisuke worked on whatever they were working on, yet daisuke called out to you. "alright i think we got it all done for now, swansea said im good to get on break now."

you sighed slightly and let daisuke lead the way, joking and telling you whatever crossed his mind. "i was doing a good job right?" his quiet voice snapped you back to where you were at, stopping just in time so you didnt accidentally knock over daisuke. "uhh,, yeah, it did look like you were, um, working hard! just keep doing what swansea wants you to do."

daisuke looks over to you, watching you carefully with his eyes before he breaks out into a usual smile and carries on with going into the lounge.

[bonesofapoet]

From Dusk ‘Til Dawn

[marcus lopez arguello x you]

author’s note: i dunno about you guys, but i miss this show So Much, and i wont disappear from this fandom again!! you know, probably. (used to write for deadly class under ladyofstadvst) also, this prompt is like ten years old but im still a sucker for it so here! we! are!

word count: 1148

ao3: @ ladyofstardvst (apparently tumblr doesnt like links anymore??)

two times Marcus wanted to kiss you, and the one time he did.

I.

Marcus Lopez Arguello couldn’t remember the last time he paid attention to the world around him.

He noticed thunderstorms and sunshine, knew when it was cold enough to snow. Saw the leaves begin to change from bright, leafy greens to honey gold and russet red. Of course he saw these things. He simply stopped caring about little happenings when Reagan killed his parents.

The last memory he had of a sunset . . . he couldn’t remember.

And he still couldn’t, even with the one painting the sky right before his eyes. Because when it was transforming into a radiant Monet as the sun descended down, down, down below the skyline, then the harbor -

The only place that held his attention was you.

You, with a smile that tugged the corners of your lips up towards your eyes. Eyes that reflected the deep violets melting into vibrant magentas and swirling with heavenly golden clouds. You, standing next to him in awe at the raw beauty this world had to offer for no cost but your time.

The air had become tinted with that specific shade of pastel pink, and Marcus had to catch his breath. His chest tightened, hands began to shake just enough to be noticed. He shoved them in his pockets so you wouldn’t see.

He would trade all the sunsets in the world just to feel your lips against his own. He would do it in a heartbeat.

II.

This time, it’s different.

Power outages darkened the city, torrential rain threatened to flood the streets, shutting down trains and buses, and no, don’t even think about walking. Wind came alive to uproot small trees and gift certain people with wings. It rattled the glass of Lost Innocence Comics right inside of its frames.

You and Marcus were soaked to the bone after stepping outside to just get a look down the street.

Great, he groaned, slamming his head against the locked door. The C L O S E D sign rattled against the glass. We’re fucking stuck here.

In front of him, the clouds changed from heather gray to deep navy and, within minutes, they were almost midnight black. It began to look like night had come to call early.

“Think we can find some candles around here?”

“Uh,” Marcus scrambled to collect himself, turned to face you in the fading light. “Who knows, there’s all kinds of shit in back.”

An eyebrow raised in curiosity. “Lead the way, then.”

Thunder rumbled low and followed you into the small storeroom. It was all damp concrete and chaos and muted rainfall past the small window lodged into the far wall.  Bright, violent flashes of lightning accompanied scavenged flashlight beams as you scored a box of matches. Marcus balanced the half-burned pillars he found on a stack of inventory crates to breathe the treasured warmth of fire into the darkness.

Your chilled bones didn’t complain, either.

Flickers of flame danced across you both, the silence slowly growing thick with that special sort of tension. The kind that was only present when something big was about to happen, or when no one had anything left to lose. It would have become overwhelming, but then – then. You were closer to each other than you had been before. Closer than the moment that had just passed. Maybe it was the sharp crack of thunder that made your heart beat faster when his lips were drawing so close to yours -

A bright, harsh light filled the room and you both jerked apart.

The power kicked back on, and the worst of the storm had passed.

III.

Things were different after Vegas.

Distant, secretive, hushed.

A fog followed them around like a phantom that thrived on fear, and fear alone. The friends who came back were not the same people who left the day before, not really. Those mere hours seemed to age them years, decades, eons.

Maybe it was smart that you bailed on them with Willie. You wondered if the abandonment of their two friends led to their downfall.

That was the thing about King’s Dominion - death clung to it’s students like a cloak one could never shed. You didn’t always want to rush off to meet danger at it’s doorstep when you didn’t have to. There was value in a quiet, comfortable weekend spent in your room, thank you very much. So you turned them down.

But that was the thing.

There was no such thing as comfort in a place like King’s, in a life that trained the next generation of assassins. It felt detached somehow, the reality that there were no safety nets, no promise of a life growing old, no promise of even growing at all. Comfort, ease, dreams – those ceased to exist the day anyone walked through those monstrous front doors.

Marcus forgot that too, sometimes.

Vegas reminded him that life was so impossibly fleeting, invincibility certainly did not exist, and there was no fucking time to live safely when there was nothing safe about life in the first place. When all you really had were ghosts that didn’t yet exist, and nightmares of the ghosts already born from your own making.

When San Francisco greeted them in the early morning sunlight, Marcus Lopez Arguello found himself heading straight to your dorm.

I almost died, he greeted you with tired eyes and a rough voice. Like. Five fucking times.

He watched as your eyes drifted over his silhouette propped against the door frame, all bruised and bloody boy. You expected nothing less at this point.

“But you didn’t.” came your reply.

“No,” he said. You were so close that it had gotten difficult to breathe – and, no, it wasn’t because of his bruised ribs. Probably. “I didn’t die.”

The unspoken ‘yet’ hung in the air, the elephant in your room.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t with-”

The dam inside Marcus cracked, hitched, broke.

There wasn’t a universe where he would allow you to apologize for something he had no right to ask for in the first place. No universe where he would allow death to take him home before he did the small things. The important things.

The kind of things that almost dying in an alleyway dumpster in Las Vegas made him realize mattered.

He kissed you, and you kissed him back.

It was hesitant, at first. All soft lips and warm breath questioning if this was real, if this was happening, if maybe Marcus really was dead after all. Then passion crept in, the comfort of his arms wrapped around you, your hands threaded through his hair, his own pulled you closer and closer and closer.

He was so very much alive, with a pounding heartbeat to prove it. With your skin grazing his, with your breath in his lungs. For the first time in a long time, he was so very grateful to be alive.

[akaashisbabydoll]

KARASUNO REACTS: THEY HEARD YOU MET THAT ONE GUY WHO BULLIED YOU IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

You're a freshman. You're Hinata's classmate and bestie. You both get along because you both are loud and energetic af. Sometimes you have your own days but Hinata got used to it already.

Hinata joined the Karasuno Volleball Club and one day he just introduced you to everybody. You all get along even though sometimes you think Tsukisihima doesnt really care about you but Yamaguchi always assures you that, that is not the case.

You dont really have a club yet so you just go help Yachi and Kiyoko prepare things before, during and after a match or practice. Basically, the whole volleyball team was your home.

You always go watch their practice matches and official matches. You went with them on training camps too. Met a lot of strange people but became friends with them as well. Especially when you're with Hinata, anybody can be your friend. He's the king of compliments and motivation.

The team is your family too. They have a special place in your heart and they are a part of your life. They know everything about you and so they take care of you like you're the youngest crow in the family. Sometimes they go overboard especially Tanaka and Noya. You are not even sure if they want to protect you or push you to do stupid things.

They know everything about you especially how people hurt you. You're a crybaby. You've got a soft heart. You forgive easily, you get hurt easily and you believe people easily.

They got an official match and the school not far from Karasuno was also included. Little did you know one of the players was your middle school bully. You always get taken aback whenever you remember or see anything from your past. You got traumatized. Your whole body shakes.

Thats why when you saw that guy in the hallway talking with his teammates your whole body was shaking and you were trying to stop it or minimize it at least. You're scared to distract the team. You dont want them to worry.

"Hey..." your tangerine bestie nudged you on your side with his elbow, "...you good?" He asked you sincerely. Worry is written all over his face, this is why you dont want them to worry.

"O-of course. W-why would-dn't I?" You tried to answer.

"Ohh. Ok then. Let's go?" the tangerine hesitantly asked.

The whole team is preparing for their match while you are sitting on the bench, holding a notebook and a pen. You’re trying your best to control your shaken state. 

You’re looking at the ground trying your best not to cry and not to distract the whole team for their upcoming first match of the day and the season. You know how much they want to go to nationals and you were there in every camps they’re into. So of all people you know how much they want to win.

You were concentrating on how you should control yourself when someone knelt in front of you and cupped your shaking hands with his. You raised your head and you saw the Captain of the team, Daichi. Behind him are the whole team looking at you with worried eyes.

“Whatever you’re thinking. Whatever you saw. We’re here. We’ll always be here.” The captain assured you which made you teary eyes. You looked on your left and there’s Yachi at the verge of crying and  on your right is Kiyoko smiling wholeheartedly at you.

You sniffed and all the boys were frozen. After three seconds they started to panic. Asahi being the first one on that list, “Uh--Uhhh what should we do. What did we do? W-what did you do Daichi?” 

“Me? Why are you blaming me? I didn’t do anything!” Daichi replied.

“Will you two stop? Who’s got a puppy here? Who brought something?! No one?! No one did?! Didn’t I tell you all kids to carry something all the time?!” Suga yelled almost heard in the whole gymnasium.

“Suga-san you didn’t bring anything either.” Ennoshita pointed out.

“I---I did, it was on my pants. I forgot to take it out in my pocket.” Suga said while scratching his nape.

“OH! OH! OH! I know something that can make y/n smile!” Noya excitedly said. Then he suddenly made eye contact with Tanaka, Hinata and Kageyama. Tanaka and Hinata grinned, obviously want to do whatever they’re going to do. Kageyama’s face turned blank. “D-Do we really have to do that? Here? In the gymnasium? Where all players can see us?” He asked.

The three looked at him scarily. “Do you want to see y/n smile or not?” Tanaka asked him.

“Y-you know guys, it’s fine. Kageyama you don---” you were cut off when Kageyama sighed and said yes. Then they suddenly sang and danced that song Meat God where they composed on the spot, one day at summer camp.

The whole team laughed so loud. Tsukkishima shaking his head probably wondering why he’s in this team. Yamaguchi enjoying it so much that he got to film it.

“OK! That’s enough! You all get ready, the game will start in ten minutes!” Coach Ukai said while trying to hold back his laughter. Takeda not even trying to hide his laughter and just laughing his ass off. All eyes were on your team.

“Wish us luck y/n!” they all yelled except Noya and Tanaka asked luck from Kiyoko as well.

They don’t even need luck because you know yourself that their hard work and dedication is stronger than just luck.

While the others were going back to the court, Tsukishima didn’t join them. He just stood there in front of you, was hesitant to do something. You frowned and titled your head, confused on why he’s just standing there when he suddenly threw you his towel and you felt something hard hit you on your forehead. You were ready to fight his ass when you saw what it was. It was a chocolate bar. You smiled. Here you thought Tsukki doesn’t really care about you.

You felt a hand on you shoulder and you looked who it was and its Kiyoko. “You see how they’re dedicated to make you smile? For them you are also important as volleyball. So don’t be hesitant to ask us anything, ok?” You were speechless. You didn’t know they care about you this much. yes they knew all about your past. But you didn’t know they’ll be so affected by it.

You stood up and excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Yachi offered to go with you but you said it’s fine. There might be an emergency later on and they need her.

You were fine going to the bathroom. The thought of seeing one of your bullies a while ago was overlapped with the images of the team laughing.Not until you went out of the bathroom and bumped into him...your bully.

The blood on your face? Gone. You felt cold. Your whole body is shaking. When he took a step towards you, you suddenly felt weak that you immediately knelt.

“y-y/n? what’s wrong?” you can hear how worried he was based from his voice. You wanted to say it’s ok. That you’re ok. But you can’t say anything. There’s a lump on your throat that causes you to get scared more. You want to say something but your voice won’t come out.

You saw him holding your shoulder and hearing him mention your name  a couple of times and suddenly everything went black.

You woke up due to the noise you heard outside, you opened your eyes and white ceiling welcomed you.You felt something soft on your back, you were in a bed. You got up and groaned. Your head hurts so bad.

“That was y/n! That was y/n right?” You can hear Suga’s loud voice outside and the others agreeing to him.

“Yes. It’s her now if you all please---no stop! One at a time boys! You just can’t enter all of you! Coach!” The nurse aggressively said trying to stop them from entering the little clinic they have. 

“Oh my god, Thank god you’re ok” Suga let out a huge sigh and held his chest when he saw me.

“Y/N!” The whole first year (except for Tsukishima), Asahi, Tanaka and Noya yelled in unison when they saw you. At the verge of crying.

Tanaka and Noya approached you and hugged you at the same time. Patting your head like a baby saying bad things to the bully you met.

“Go away that’s my best friend right there!” Hinata said and Tanaka just slapped his hand and hugged you more tightly. Noya joined in and said, “This is our baby!”

“Our baby!” Asahi and Ennoshita reminded them.

“Excuse me? Did I just hear something bullshit?” Suga butted in.

Tsukki sighed and said, “I knew he was going to react badly.” and shook his head. As usual Yamaguchi filming whatever is happening inside that little clinic packed of noisy crows.

“H-how did you all know I was here.” You asked.

“That guy you met. He was the one who carried you here.” Everyone was quiet after Daichi talked. “Why didn’t you tell us that he was your bully? He was the reason why you were shaking before. Right?” You nodded. No voice coming out. 

“I’m sorry if I always worry you guys. It’s not my intention to do that. I just---I was kind of hesitant because you have a match to face---OMG THE MATCH!” You yelled when reality hits you.

Coach Ukai chuckled. “It was finished earlier than expected. When they heard what happened to you, they got so aggressive that they want to finish it already. They won two sets in a row. Kageyama and Yamaguchi with their service ace. It was a landslide.”

“I didn’t even know we can do that.” Yachi added.

Noya and Tanaka starting to rub their face on you like cat. “Our little baby crow. We will take care of you and love you.” Noya said.

Tanaka suddenly rolled up his sleeves and said, “I’m gonna beat the shit out of him. I know where his school is.”

“Speaking of. He actually wanted to talk to you in person. To apologize of his behavior before. He said it’s fine if we’re there too.” Daichi said.

“Ohhh we gonna be there.” Suga said seriously like he was in an action movie while squinting his eyes. Everybody followed him and you saw how stupid they looked so you laughed, loud. You were so happy, about everything. Being with them.

You were cursed before, bullied, hurt and humiliated. But now, you think everything is in place, everybody laughing. You found not only one but sixteen people taking care of you and loving you with the love you so much deserve.

You are happy. Very happy.

- - - - -

Hi guys omg i’m actually happy i got to reach 200 followers *insert crying emoji bc im on my laptop* ily all so much <33 so here’s something from my draft <33

M A S T E R L I S T 

[witchcraft-in-wonderland]

Silent Nightmares (Pt.2)

-------------------------

The thing Emile did the most often and felt the guiltiest about in the camp, was sleeping. Patton had told him dozens of times that it didnt matter and he'd been on his own since the apocalypse started so if he needed to spend most of his time resting it was ok, but it didnt feel right.

Even when he knew there were people in the camp who did nothing but talk to the others, it still didnt feel right that he couldnt do anything to help.

But he'd stopped bringing this up fairly quickly, mostly out of fear that they'd kick him out for bringing up how useless he was so often.

"Eeeemmmmm, its wake up tiiiiimmmmeeee," Emile shuddered as he felt a gentle nudge on his side and rolled over in bed, blinking a few times before realizing it had been Remus who woke him up.

"You have practice today, sound fun?" Remus said as Emile wriggled his way out of bed.

"Yeah, by the way what was all that noise last night? I thought I heard someone screaming?" Emile said, raising an eyebrow at Remus as he went to change.

"Oh that was just one of the other campers, some of us get a little jumpy yeah?" Remus said.

"Oh- that makes sense-" Emile said, thinking for a few moments.

"Oh and keep that binder off for today, you've been wearing it for much to long and doing stuff like this with it on is going to hurt," Remus said, Emile's face went scarlet.

"You knew?" He said quietly.

"I have to tell Roman at least five times a day to take breaks from his," Remus said with a shrug.

"Ok- fine- I'll take it off," Emile sighed, waiting for Remus to leave the room so he could change.

Emile had never been to the training grounds before, he wasnt entirely sure what to expect, but what he did find certainly wouldnt have matched.

"Theres two training rooms, one with simulation-based activities so you can practice without getting hurt or risking trauma exposure, and another one with real obstacles, and real weapons," Remus said as he came to stand next to Emile.

"What kind of obstacles?" Emile asked.

"Sometimes we try and keep zombies that we think we can save, our scientists have been working on a cure for a while, but it doesnt always have the expected results, and normally I'm against 'putting things out of their misery', but the things a failed cure can do to these corpses. . . A second death is the merciful option," Remus continued.

"Wait. . . You said there were some you had to kick out, does that mean they're just in the labs?" Emile asked.

"Yeah, our head scientists are Logan and King, me and Roman's older brother, they've been working on a cure, but they refuse to test it on old members of the camp," Remus said, still sounding mildly dismayed.

"Were you close with a lot of them?" Emile said quietly.

"One was basically a brother to me, or more accurately brother-in-law, Roman and King are still distraught about it," Remus responded.

"Oh dear. . ." Emile whispered, running his fingers through Remus' hair.

"But let's not dwell on it now- you've got training to do," Remus said, shaking his head.

"We'll start you off with terrain obstacles, I've seen the look on your face when you hear gunshots," Remus said, Emile shuffled his feet slightly.

"Hey theres no reason to be ashamed of it, weve got at least two other campers who can barely even hear about guns without breaking down, you're not a failure for disliking them," Remus said.

"Let's just- get to the training-" Emile replied hastily.

"Alright, gloves on first, I know you like to maneuver with your hands and I'd rather you not give yourself frostbite or a bloody palm," Remus said, gesturing to a table. Emile walked over and slipped on a pair of gloves, they were warm and soft, he debated keeping them when the training session ended.

"Alright, first up, gravel and ice," Remus said, gesturing to a nearby surface, Emile could see sharp grays speaking out from the white snow.

"Now we'll be using fans to mimic heavy winds, so dont get to confident, just because a surface is relatively flat doesnt mean it's easy to conquer," Remus said, pulling out a remote.

"Alright, whenever you're ready," Remus said as the fan began to start up.

Emile took a few breaths, even from so far back he could feel a push from the fan, so, he dropped to the ground, and scrambled forward, latching on to the larger gray rocks to keep from being pushed away.

"Alright now back to me!" Remus called, louder now that Emile was on the other end of the terrain. The trip back was a lot easier, since the wind was pushing him in the right direction.

They carried on with wind-based obstacles for a while, until Remus decided it was time to move a step up.

"How good are you with climbing?" Remus asked, Emile's eyes scanned the various makeshift hills and climbing walls.

"Not sure, I've never really done it before, but I like the idea of it," Emile replied.

"Dont worry, I'll catch you if something happens, I promise," Remus said, Emile shivered slightly.

He did well for a while, until he got to the highest part of the cliffs, and then he felt his foot slip.

And then he was falling, and everything felt distant, he shut his eyes, wishing yet again that he couldve had his wings in reality.

And then he woke up laying down, a few hours later from what he'd seen on the clock.

"Oh thank gods-" Emile blinked as he heard Remus' voice.

"Emmy I'm so sorry- I cant believe I so stupid! Oh gods I'm such a failure i cant believe i let this happen-" Emile reached a hand out and grasped Remus'.

"But I'm alive arent I? The cushions you set out still worked didnt they?" Emile replied.

"Emile you broke your leg," Remus said frantically.

"I- what?" Emile attempted to sit up, only to let out a loud squeak as the aforementioned leg began shooting pain through his body.

"Dont move- itll get worse if you move-" Remus said.

"How long do I have to stay here?" Emile whispered.

"We're going to have to amputate it, you'll stay here for a week or two before you can get back out," Remus said, burying his head in his hands.

"Remus. . ." Emile continued speaking in softer tones.

"This wasnt supposed to happen! It's a training simulation!" Remus droned on.

"Remus!" Emile's tone took a sudden sharp turn, startling Remus out of his hands.

"Mistakes happen. This is an apocalypse. Zombies arent the only things capable of losing limbs. I'll be fine! I promise!" Emile replied, holding Remus' face in his hands.

"You're not upset?" Remus replied.

"I mean sure I'll miss the leg, but no, I'm not upset with you," Emile said, smiling before laying back down, resting a hand in Remus' palm.

----------------------------------------------

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@rich-flower-17

@theonetruebeepboop

@mycatshuman

@teamplutoforlife

@melodiread

@meowthefluffy

@frawkeye

@cemmy

@nerosdayinhell

@thecolorfulolive

@frog-candy-bee

[nad-zeta]

Match up ~(˘▾˘~)

Hi I’d like an Ikevamp matchup! (This is my first time doing this but oof) i’m a shy(at first) brown(Filipino to be exact) girl that’s a lil on the chubby side, Virgo, messy short hair, 149 cm(short-), and an INFJ T and a Ravenclaw. I’ve also got really fat legs and as much as i like them some dont :”) i like to read books than listen to people read them aloud cuz I’m a visual learner. I like writing bc it helps me get all these ideas out of my head. But i’m really unorganized so i never really finished anything other than a few poems and one horror short story. I enjoy cracking a good joke for anyone to laugh at and am really affectionate with my loved ones. I draw sometimes too but they’re not that good :> so my hobbies are:writing(mainly), drawing. I love learning about new stuff that’s not really included in school bc it’s not one of my biggest priorities to me lmao. I also really like studying whilst listening to music. But unto my dislikes, i really dont like injustice for other people and have this belief in me(i belive everyone is equal). I hate loud noises (eg. rain, or a truck) it messes with me more than my hair lol. I don’t like people insulting me in a more meaningful sense, meaning im not hurt if anyone curses at me but if it’s a little more meaningful then that hits me hard. Most people think im insensitive but i get hurt too ya know. But i always welcome critique even if it doesnt seem so. I flirt sometimes with my friends cuz thats how much i love them ig. I can play the ukulele but im not too fond on playing instruments so i ight sing instead of both. Anyway, i hope that’s enough. Message me if it wasn’t and i’ll add more! Thanks!

 Hi hi, love! ❤🥰Thank you so much for the request! Ooooh your first match-up, how exciting! I hope I can live up to your expectations. 🦋🥰☀️Anyways sorry for the long wait and I truly hope you enjoy. Hope you have a super good day!❤🥰  @la-liar​

So I match you with…………… Mozart

So the first time the two of you interact, it was basically silence. Both of you cuties were too shy and reserved to speak to each other. That is basically how it was for the first few weeks of your stay at the mansion. 

You were rather shy, so you kept mostly to yourself spending all your time in the library, reading and writing. But that all changed one day when you discovered the music room. 

You had decided on a whim to explore the mansion a bit and stumbled upon a pristine music room. You made your way inside and smiled as you spotted a ukulele in the corner of the room. You simply couldn’t help yourself, as you picked up the instrument and started to play. Closing your eyes as you played, you started to sing along to the familiar tune.

At that moment, Mozart had walked past his beloved music room. He had stepped out for a moment, only to get himself a freshly brewed cup of hot chocolate before continuing to compose his newest piece. The second he heard the sound of an instrument coming from his beloved music room he sighed internally. He slammed open the door and froze in his tracts when he spotted you sitting on the floor in the corner of the room absorbed by the music you were producing. He had every intention of scolding you, but all that dissipated as the soft, soothing tones of your voice wash over him like a gentle ocean wave. He found himself calm and at peace for once in his life. 

Inspired by the tune you were singing, he sat down at the grand piano and started playing along. The second the first note of the piano echoed off the walls of the room you opened your eyes in shock, not realizing someone had come in midway through your song. You profusely apologized to the man and left before he could say anything.

For the rest of the day Mozart was stuck, he couldn’t get that song you were singing out of his head. He was starting to get frustrated as thoughts of you were plaguing his mind. That night he stormed up to your room, took you by the hand and guided you back to the music room where he handed you the ukulele, “Play.” His words were blunt and his violet eyes were sharp and determined. You stared up at the man in confusion as he sat down at the grand piano, waiting for you to start the song. You sighed sitting down next to him on the bench and softly started strumming the strings. Mozart couldn’t keep the faint smile from forming on his face at the sound of the perfect harmony and melody the two of you produced together. Since that night you were the only other person, other than Sebastian permitted to enter into the music room whenever you wanted.

Every day since, you would wander into the room as Mozart would play the soothing melodies. You loved to study while listening to music. So every day you would bring your books to the music room as Mozart played and just sit and read or write, as Mozart’s symphonies would echo in the background. Although the white-haired man would never admit it, he very much enjoyed your company. Unlike the rest of the residents, you were quiet and soft-spoken, and you didn’t irritate him like the rest of his housemates. 

Often during the afternoons, when Mozart would take a break from playing, he would walk over the corner of the room that you would occupy and just stare down at you. He would usually in his classical tsundere roundabout way, ask you if you wanted to grab lunch with him. You honestly had to smile at his clumsily blunt tone and the dust of pink that would grace his features.

The two of you would sit under the shade of a tree and chat for hours and hours about the most random of topics. You had quickly come to realize that the brutal way in which Mozart spoke, was just a front to cover up his true feelings. Thus you never minded the meaningless insults that he would occasionally throw your way. Cause they were just that meaningless. If anything, the way he would say them with that slight smile dancing across his lips, they were probably meant as his own type of endearments towards you.

Both of you cuties often get so absorbed in your daydreams that during your lunchtime picnic, that you can be found just staring into space. Mozart’s mind would be occupied with the latest songs that he would like to compose, and your mind would be drifting off, thinking about the latest topic that you have learned about or read. Its actually pretty hilarious, especially when the two of you are at the dinner table and Arthur is chatting away to the two of you, while both of you would be off in dreamland. It’s only when Arthur waves a hand in front of your eyes that both of you come back to reality. During these times, you and Mozart usually lock eyes and laugh, as it had become a somewhat, inside joke between the two of you.

You often flirted with the man, especially after the two of you had started to become friends. You loved the way his cheeks would get dusted in a light pink shade matching his eyes perfectly. And you can’t help but laugh whenever he stutters a little insult in response. Although don’t get me wrong, he is the only person who can give you small insult endearments. Anyone else who dare utter one bad thing about you, will face Mozart’s scorn. 

Like one time the two of you went to the bookshop to browse together, when some dodge man came up to you and started telling you that a woman shouldn’t be in a book shop and that the book you were holding was too advanced for you. Cue Mozart practically tearing apart the man with his sharp gaze. Mozart’s voice boomed in the bookshop like a crack of a whip, and by the time he was done giving the man a verbal smackdown, the dodgy fellow couldn’t leave the shop quick enough. 

Just then violet eyes met your dark brown ones, as Mozart gave you the most tender look and asked in a soft tone if you were okay. He could see the sadness in your eyes, and he knew even though you put up a tough front, you were also rather sensitive deep down. He gave you a tight hug and kissed your forehead as he told you not to ponder on the man’s hurtful words. “Mein Liebe, don’t let that man’s mindless babble bother you.” He then took you by the hand and lead you to a coffee shop where he bought the two of you some hot chocolate. And the two of you spent the rest of the afternoon chatting away.

It wasn’t clear exactly when you and Mozart transitioned from friendship into a relationship, but regardless you were the only person privileged enough to see this man’s soft side. And boy oh boy was his smile enough to make your heart melt. Mozart is actually a massive softie under his harsh words, and loves to shower you in affection. He knows you hate loud noises, so he is always sure to, take you the town route with the least amount of people and noises. And you best be sure he will be by your side to soothe you in a split second during any type of thunderstorms

He never knew just how much you hated loud noises like thunderstorms until one night. It was the dead of night, and the sky was littered with dark stormy clouds and flashes of lightning. You woke up abruptly to the loud rumble of thunder that followed a flash of light. You let out a loud squeak as you pulled your blanket over your head, in an attempt to block out the noise. By the second flash and roars of thunder, you were on your feet making your way to Mozart’s room. 

You gently pushed open the door, when yet another loud crack of thunder and lightning could be heard shaking the mansion’s walls. Mozart had no time to react, as all he heard was the patter of your bare feet on the wooden floor, and then the weight of a warm body diving onto his bed. He cracked open an eye and was shocked to see the expression of dread on your tear-stained face. He wasted no time at all in pulling you beneath the covers into his warm embrace and he pressed your face to his warm chest. He gently traced soothing circles on your back, while he tenderly sang you a soft lullaby to coax you into sleep. The noise of thunder and lightning faded into the background, as you focus on the feeling of Mozart’s fingertips dancing across your skin and his soft, soothing voice. 

Since then, at any sign of a storm, Mozart would be sure to drop everything and seek you out. He would usually wrap the two of you in a fluffy blankie, and he just holds you tight in his arms. Sometimes he would play the piano to soothe your anxiety, while other times he will just sing to you.

Mozart absolutely loves your sense of humour, and his stony features will always crack with a slither of a smile whenever you make a joke. Bonus points if you actually get him to laugh. He will legit huff out in laughter, while shyly hiding his face in the crook of your neck as you continue to crack hilarious jokes. Anyone privileged enough to see this rare scene unfolds is very lucky indeed, as Mozart’s smile and laughter is like the sun coming out after a very long stormy week. It is bright and filled with warmth, and reserved for your eyes only.

Even though you have a tendency to never really finish writing, Mozart will insist you show him any of the pieces that you do manage to complete. He loves the way your words flow on paper, and it down right inspires him to write a few songs to accompany your stories. He also beams with pride whenever you draw him a cute little scene on his sheet music. He will be sure to keep that page with your doodle safe for all eternity, cause he just loves them so much. 

The two of you cuties are the most affectionate couple around, behind closed doors of course as Mozart might just die from embarrassment if the two of you engage in any sort of PDA. He loves it when you sit beside him and rest your head on his shoulder as he plays you the newest ballad of his love. You are the love of his life, and he will spend every day of his existence loving you. He loves to give you cute little Eskimo and butterfly kisses whenever the two of you meet in the hallway.

You best be sure this man will spend every free moment he can get hugging and cuddling you. Often the two of you cuties will simply be spending a quiet afternoon in the music room together, nestled in each others arms while drinking a warm cup of hot chocolate, listening to the pitter patter of the rain outside. 

Other potential matches……………. Dazai

I hope you enjoyed this dear and I hope you have the best day. 🦋☀️❤

[endofjunee]

🍃 I think I'm falling (I'm falling for you) by @beau-soleil-louis Louis is a disaster gay on a skateboard. Harry is a beautiful, quirky stranger on a bicycle. Their first encounter really makes a splash.  📘 when you say you love me, know i love you more by @jimmytfallon Louis discovers one of Harry's insecurities and happily soothes it away. 

🍃 Falling For Me Won't Be A Mistake by @all-these-larrythings Harry is married to his job and so overworked that he doesn't know how to stop. All it takes is a forced Hawaiian get-a-away, the warm tropical breeze of the island, and the most beautiful, elusive man he's ever seen to make him remember what living is like outside of work. Well, that, and the little souvenir he accidentally takes home with him.

📘 Sun Means The Sky'll Be Blue by @twoheartsbeating​ As the only singleton under thirty attending his cousin's five-day wedding, Harry is desperate to find a date, or at least a reason to get people's questions about his love life off his back. So when Louis, Harry's old uni roommate and fellow wedding attendee waltzes back into his life, Harry seizes the opportunity, pretending Louis is his ex-boyfriend and that it's a sore subject not to be mentioned.

If it's a little bit closer to the truth than Harry would like, well, he's a master at living in denial.

So cue a mess of trudged-up feelings, past misunderstandings, a rekindled summer romance and a whole lot of sexually-charged bickering. 🍃 i was getting kinda used to being someone you loved by @werebothstubborn His hand clamps down over Louis’ mouth as firmly as he can manage. “What do you want? C'mon, you have my full attention now. What. Do. You. Want.”

Louis manages to look apologetic as he licks slobbery circles around Harry's palm until he lets go. “Pretend to be my boyfriend,” he says, dramatically gulping in as much air as he can breathe.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“This bloke just came up to me, said he’d give us fifty quid to be in his music video.”

“And you said what? ‘Sure, just let me coerce my friend into it with uncomfortable amounts of PDA and blackmail’?”

Or, Louis has a brilliant idea. Harry begs to differ. Until he doesn't. 📘 say that you can see me (i'll speak up i swear) by @coffeelouis “Well, it’s not like anyone really RSVPs,” Liam defends when Harry turns back to him, “No one takes Facebook events seriously.” Harry rolls his eyes, still finding it within himself to get annoyed in his moment of panic. Liam has been complaining about the lack of accountability Facebook events have bred in their generation since their freshman year. Harry glances back to the gallery entrance. Yep, still there and moving closer.

“But aren’t you guys friends?” Harry asks, trying to convey the urgency in his tone.

“Well, I mean, I talk to him when he stops by the office for supplies sometimes,” Liam reasons, “But I wouldn’t say we’re friends, exactly. Maybe more like, friendly acquaintances?”

Harry groans. “You’re the fucking worst.”

Or, the liberal arts COLLEGE AU where Harry knows Louis as the best friend of the boy he has been hopelessly in love with for years now and Louis knows Harry as this boy he wished would look away from Zayn long enough to notice him. 🍃 Light My Fire, Blow My Flame by @goldbootsandvans “In New York, you can be a new man.” Broadway actor Louis Tomlinson has it all. An amazing flat, a wonderful friend group, a Tony under his belt, and the world at his fingertips. Yet there’s one thing that’s missing. And it might be in the shape of the curly haired lawyer who becomes Zayn’s new roommate.

Or, Louis is a Broadway actor, Harry is a newly graduated lawyer, Liam is a radio DJ, Zayn is an English Professor at NYU, and Niall is a music producer. A Friends AU. 📘 you move like water (yeah and you broke like waves) by @wankerville He gets it, he gets that he's weird, and clumsy, and his hair always seems to be a little greasy. He gets that he talks too slow and has a terrible movie taste and falls too fast, whatever. He can understand that Louis sees him as no more than a friend, and he can live with it. But he can't live with just being a fuck to him, thats something you say about a stripper, or a one night stand, but thats not them. They are best friends who have slept with each other three times already. He could at least call it ‘platonic love making’ or something other than a fuck.

Or, the four times harry sleeps with louis and wakes up alone and the one time he doesnt. 🍃 If the Surface Begs You Home by @becomeawendybird Harry is a mermaid from the underwater kingdom of Mercadia who is a little too fascinated by life above the surface. He's kicked out of his home after he winds up pregnant, and has to figure out how to make his way in the world. 

Louis is the darling of the small neighbouring seaside village who came home after university to take over their local library, and can't seem to stay away from the mysterious pregnant mermaid his friends introduce him to.  📘 No Love Like Your Love by @all-these-larrythings When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.   🍃 Watch the Sun Coming Up by @sadaveniren As Louis approaches his thirtieth birthday his pack is desperate for him to find a mate.

Harry has always expected one day he may settle down with a nice alpha and they would continue to live in his small hometown.

Together they somehow will make this work. 📘 Consequences by @allwaswell16 Two years ago Harry let his powerful family come between him and the love of his life, something he deeply regrets. Louis has tried to move on from their devastating break up. Sometimes, he even thinks he has. It only takes one moment to freeze them back in time.

An amnesia au. 🍃 Becoming Us by @sweariwouldnt  Married at First Sight is a television show in which hopefuls looking for The One are matched by experts deeming them to be the perfect match. The twist? They meet each other for the first time at the altar. When they exchange their 'I do's'. And get married for real.

One Harry and Louis find each other at the altar. They have five weeks to make or break the set-up marriage. 📘 A Taste of Desire by @casuallyhl “As forward as I have been with you this evening, I am also aware this dinner party isn’t the place to conduct business.” Mr. Tomlinson chuckles quietly to himself, shooting a subtle glance across the table towards their hostess. “And besides, I am sure our hostess would be horribly disappointed to learn that we went away this evening with a business agreement and not a mating one.”

Harry, who had been sipping his wine, coughs harshly at this. He splutters, unaccustomed to such blatant statements about mating.

Mr. Tomlinson continues to laugh quietly, clearly pleased at Harry’s reaction.

“Mrs. Humphreys promised that there was an alpha attending the dinner tonight that I would certainly get on well with,” Mr. Tomlinson continues, voice teasing. “She assured me that we would have much in common since we both work with mills.” Mr. Tomlinson glances at Harry, eyes flashing with mirth. “Little did she know that would be where our mutual interests began and ended.”

Or, a Victorian ABO where Harry is the owner of the most successful cotton mill in Manchester, and Louis is an opinionated social activist about to disrupt Harry’s world. 🍃 You're My Only Hope by @chloehl10 Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality?  📘 freaks from the internet by @jaerie  Harry sells his breast milk to freaks on the internet. Louis turns out to be one of those freaks. He also happens to be Harry's ex.  🍃 Stealing Flowers by @lululawrence​ When Louis finally arrived, he walked in and grabbed an apron. Without even saying hello, he immediately approached Jesy and said, “Sexy Stranger steals flowers.”

She kept pouring the Tanqueray shots she had lined up in front of her, but her face screwed up in confusion. “I’m sorry, he what? Did you finally talk to him and that was what you learned?”

He nodded to another couple of tourists and welcomed them to the Way Station as they eagerly made their way to the Tardis restroom.

“No, I didn’t actually talk to him, but—”

“Then how do you know he steals flowers?”

She was wiping down the bar and stacking the empty glasses to take back to the dishwasher when Louis realized maybe he should help too. After all, he was there to work, not just talk to her about his maybe crush.

“I saw a poster.”

Or the one where Louis pines after the Sexy Stranger on the Subway and almost asks him out. That's when the strange posters start showing up around Brooklyn. 📘 hard for me to know i might see you around by @coffeelouis The next profile shows a guy and his horse both crashing into the ground, the bio below reading:

"Hi, I'm Louis, I suck at riding horses so I ride dick."

Harry rolls his eyes and swipes left, but before he can consider the next profile in his feed, there’s a quiet “Oof” from right behind him.

Or, a TINDER AU where Harry swipes left on Louis' joke of a profile, then ends up stuck next to him on a trans-Atlantic flight. 🍃 Hey, Mr. DJ by @allwaswell16 Harry really, really does NOT want to go out to a club tonight and be hassled by a bunch of alpha knotheads, but against his better judgement, he finds himself alone on the dance floor, barefoot, with an orange in his hand. This is all Niall's fault. At least the DJ is the most strikingly gorgeous alpha he's ever seen...  📘 2,870 Miles by @sadaveniren Harry hated the BT Sports commentators, but considering he couldn’t fly to Baku while eight months pregnant this was all he had if he wanted to watch his husband in the Europa League final.  🍃 one man in his time by @bottomlinsons  “We’re fake-dating and I’m supposed to publicly break up with you but you’ve been irritating me lately so instead of dumping you I publicly proposed to mess up your plan and now we’re getting married, fuck” au.

[Previous Monthly Recs]

[vintageneptune92]

Nothing Breaks Like A Heart: Chapter 2 part 1

So I had to split this into 2 chapters because it’s really long. I’m not big on regurgitating content but it was a good way to set the story up further. Going forward there will be more original content with some cannon thrown in. P.S. IDGAF about Cannon if it doesn’t work well for my story.

I’d love it if you reblogged, gave feedback, etc.

Let me know if you want to be tagged

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@shreddedparchment @fanfictionjunkie1112

Nora smiled to herself as she approached Bruce Banner, Natasha and Steve. She was ecstatic to meet Bruce Banner. She hadn’t seen Natasha in a while and well Steve was another story altogether.

“Is that the only word on me?” Bruce questioned Steve looking incredibly apprehensive.

“Only word I care about.” Such a Steve Rogers thing to say. She watches as Banner seemed to relax, if only slightly.

“Well he won’t be doing it alone.” Nora beamed at the 3 of them. “Besides myself I’m quite positive that my Uncle will show his face after getting through Coulson’s information bomb he gave us last night. No way is he missing out on this.”

“Nora Stark.” The red headed assassin smiled back at Nora.

“Good to see you Rusty. It’s been too long.”

“Well Tony isn’t my biggest fan. So I’ve steered clear.” Natasha shrugged.

“Well stop it. No one cares what he thinks.” Natasha shook her head at Nora. The attitude was 110% Tony Stark.

“Hello Nora.” Steve finally spoke after observing her.

“Hello Captain. Good to see you again.” She watched as the heat rose to his face and turned to Bruce Banner before she reacted and stuck her hand out.

“Well apparently my friends here forgot their manners. Dr. Banner, I’m Nora Stark. I’m a huge fan of your work. I’m really looking forward to working with you.” Bruce tentatively shook her hand.

“You’re not scared to be around me?” Bruce looked at her small stature and assumed she’d be terrified. She shrugged.

“Why would I be?” She smiled. Her kind eyes put him at ease. She linked her arms through Bruce’s. “C’mon Dr. Banner. Let’s go do what we nerds do so the super heroes can get to work” Nora gave Steve a wink only he could see and led them towards the Helicarrier.

“Okay Bruce, apparently Loki is in Germany. I highly doubt the Tesseract is with him.” Nora sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“I agree.” Bruce didn’t look up from the computer screen.

“I’m going to head out to Fury. I need to see this. Let me know when you need me.” Bruce nodded again and Nora headed out of the lab and down to the main section of the Helicarrier.

As she made her way out to the main deck, she could hear AC/DC over the comms and then her Uncle’s voice. “Agent Romanoff, you miss me?”

“I see I made it just in time for the show.” She crossed over to where Fury was standing and he Gave her a smirk.

“Make a move Reindeer Games” Nora watched as Natasha landed the Quinjet to capture Loki.

“He doesn’t have the tesseract with him. And we haven’t located it yet. But the staff he carries, the one that turned one of your best parents into a puppet. I’m thinking that might help us.”

“I agree, Nora. Go let Dr. Banner know what’s going on and both of you join us back here once they’re back on this ship.” Nora nodded at the order and headed to retrieve Dr. Banner. She turned her comm on so she could listen in to their ride with Loki and was privy to the fight between the three men.

A little while after Loki was on the ship, Nora made her way back down to the main deck to discuss Loki. Dr. Banner would be joining them shortly. As she approached she heard her Uncle refer to someone as “Point Break”. She rolled her eyes and made herself known.

“Oh good. You’re all done playing swords. Did you find out who’s the biggest or did you just waste our time?”

“See that’s what makes you my favorite Stark. You’re infinitely more funny than Tony.” Natasha and Nora smiled at each other.

“What? No! Absolutely not! You’re not helping on this mission!” Tony wasn’t exactly surprised to see Nora but he wasn’t going to allow her to jump into the line of danger.

“You say that like you still have a say in the choices I make” Nora scoffed at her Uncle. “You need me. If you didn’t Pepper wouldn’t have asked me to come and Fury wouldn’t have agreed to it.”

“Nora I know you’re brilliant but we can do this without you.” Tony shot back. Steve watched on with interest.

“No you can’t. You need my memory and my professional abilities.” Nora was just as stubborn as her Uncle. This wasn’t going to end quickly.

“Your memory? What does that mean.” Nora looked over to the heavy accented voice that was sitting at the table.

“You must be Thor" He nodded. I have a photographic memory. I remember every detail of everything.”

“That sounds very useful and overwhelming.” His understanding and empathy took Nora by surprise. It was overwhelming and incredibly useful. There were some things she wished she could forget, yet instead they plagued her dreams. “And what are these professional abilities?” Thor was intrigued by this tiny human.

“I have some pretty stellar computer skills.” Before Thor could question Nora further Tony was interrupting.

“Uh hello??? I have some pretty decent computer skills myself.” Nora rolled her eyes at the exact same time Tony did and the resemblance between her and Tony couldn’t be ignored. It made Thor smile.

“Obviously you know your way around a computer. But you know full well that you can’t hack like I can.”

“She’s right Tony.” Fury finally spoke. “She hacked the Pentagon on a dare in High School.”

“You what?!” Steve was shocked and Nora stood there with a proud smile on her face. He wouldn’t have thought she would do something like that.

“Sorry Captain. Sometimes you just have to bend the rules. Especially when your sexist classmate thinks he’s superior because he has a teeny tiny appendage between his legs” Thor audibly laughed.

“Yeah that was pretty impressive. I’m still pretty proud you did that.” Tony finally conceded. “Fine. I’m not going to argue with you anymore but if you’re going to be on this mission you need something a little more protective than whatever this is that you’re wearing.” He pointed up and down her body. She was clad in a leather pencil skirt, a denim button down shirt and sky high leopard print heels. Her normally long curly hair was straightened and in a high ponytail with braids on the top of her head.

“Well I asked you to make me a suit.” Nora shot back. Thor watched on enjoying the verbal ping pong match. He liked the fire in Nora Stark.

“So you can put yourself in more danger? Yeah, not likely.” Nick Fury stood up to put an end to the bickering.

“Nora- I had some special Kevlar made for you. There’s a locker with your name on it. You can change when you're ready.”

“Thanks Uncle Nick.” Nora gave Tony a dirty look and went and sat down next to Thor. She was drawn to him for some reason. She couldn't explain it. "So tell me about Asgard and this brother of yours" Steve watched as Thor and Nora seemed to be in a bubble. He had her undivided attention. She laughed at the things he said that weren’t meant to be funny but were because of Thor’s lack of Earth knowledge. She would place her hand on his arm as they spoke. Neither of them seemed to pay much attention to the people around them. He had to force himself to pay attention to what Fury was saying. He was surprised at how jealous he felt. He barely knew her. And he didn’t ever expect to find anyone that stirred feelings in him. Not the way Peggy did. It wasn’t the same, Peggy was Peggy. But Nora somehow set off a spark inside him. The first real connection he made before coming out of the ice.

Nora sighed and sat down on the bench in the locker room. She wanted her own “Iron Man” suit. Tony refused. Nora had contemplated just hacking into his system for the plans, but she couldn’t break her Uncle’s trust like that. She didn’t want him doing this alone. Maybe now that Steve was out of the ice he wouldn’t have to. She was always afraid that when he left in that Iron Man suit he wouldn’t come back. She knew Pepper had the same fears. Nora and Tony both had lost so much. They had been betrayed by people they had loved too. He wasn’t her father. No one could ever take Grant Starks place in her heart, but the relationship she and Tony had was something beyond parent and child. They were connected by loss and pain. They were connected by their similarities. They had the same snark, the same attitude and the Stark swagger. The swagger that sometimes acted as a protective bubble. Tony was Nora’s protector. Even when he was missing he was still protecting her. He had always had a plan in place with Rhodey and Pepper to keep her safe and loved if something happened and he couldn’t. All Nora wanted to do was protect him as well.

She stood and opened up the locker with her name and smiled at what Nick had left her. It was an all black Kevlar suit that looked like leather. It had straps across her hips and boots that went over her knees. There were a number of holsters to hold weapons or technological items. She wasn’t sure where Nick had found it, but it was perfect. It held her body like a glove. She was curvy but strong. She has never been skinny. Her body wasn’t built to be that small. She had accepted her flaws a long time ago and learned how to use them to her advantage.

She headed out of the locker room with plans to head back to the lab. Her eyes caught the door that she knew Loki was behind and she just couldn’t help herself. Her credentials allowed her to enter the room. There he stood. The God of Mischief in a round glass cage.

“Hello Loki.” He snapped his head up and studied her.

“The Dróttning av Gimsteinn” Loki’s voice was almost breathless. He hadn’t been expecting to see her and the words had poured from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you just say?” Nora stopped in her tracks and stared him down. Loki’s eyes bore into Nora’s and he didn’t respond. “What does that mean?”

“You’ll find out soon enough I suppose” Loki acted as uninterested in her as he possibly could. I’m reality he was buzzing on the inside. He thought it would be more difficult to get eyes on her. Nora narrowed her eyes at him. She took a step towards him and stopped.

“I’m not going to let you goad me into a reaction. When you get bored of this and want to tell me where the tesseract is, let me know. If I find it before you tell me, I can’t help you.” Before Loki could respond, she was gone. Loki smiled to himself. She was feisty. She liked to spar. This was going to be more fun than he originally thought.

Nora was wracking her brain trying to figure out what Loki called her as she was heading back. She didn’t even know what language it was. She was about to pull her phone out and try to search for what she thought he had said when she stumbled upon Steve trying to pry a set of doors open. Captain America breaking and entering? This was surprising. She crossed her arms in front of her body and leaned against the wall.

“Need some help Captain?” She smiled with a suggestive voice as Steve jumped. He turned and faced Nora sheepishly with red cheeks. He had on hand on the back of his neck and looked impossibly adorable.

“I was…I uh…” He was embarrassed for getting caught but what really had him stuttering was Nora. No one should look that good in Kevlar. He silently chastised himself for behaving like a 13 year old. Nora shook her head and without a word pushed herself off of the wall and approached the door Steve was trying to bust open. She pressed her palm to the lock pad. It read her palm print and prompted for the 2nd security key. “Stark, Nora Margaret”. Steve froze. Was Peggy apart of her life? It couldn’t be a coincidence that she was related to Howard Stark and her middle name was Peggy. Howard and Peggy has founded Sheild together. He wondered if Peggy had any sort of relationship with Nora’s father. He wanted to ask her about it, but it wasn’t the right time. Nora motioned him inside.

“After you.” Nora followed him into the room and the door shut behind him. “Mind telling me what we’re doing in here? What are you looking for?”

“I’m honestly not sure. Your Uncle is trying to get all of Sheild’s files as we speak. He seems to think Fury is hiding something.”

“Oh what a jack ass. He’s trying to hack in on his own instead of asking me. He’s trying to prove he doesn’t need me. I could have had those files in 5 minutes, 10 tops. Plus I have access to a lot of shit around here. Sheild is my family birth right. My father would have taken Howard’s place.”

“Wait- so you agree with Tony? You think he’s hiding something?”

“Don’t be so naive Captain. Of course he’s hiding something. He’s a super spy. His secrets have secrets!” Steve laughed. “What’s funny?”

“Your Uncle literally said the same thing. Word for word.” Nora’s eyes shone with pride. “Are you going to help me look?”

She threw her arms up in a shrug. “Kind of hard to help when I have zero clue what to look for. And how do you know I’m not in on it?”

“Call it a gut instinct.” Nora liked to banter and Steve was feeling brave. He was still feeling a little green after seeing her with Thor. Now was his chance to see if she was as just flirty or interested in him. He was a God. A good looking one at that. And while he felt like an idiot worrying about it when they had more important things to focus on, he had to know. “So you’re done flirting with Thor? You two seemed to hit it off right away.” He looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I wasn’t flirting! Why? Are you jealous?” Nora sauntered over to where Steve was leaning over a crate. She put her hand on his shoulder and leaned over so she could whisper in his ear. “Believe me Captain, if I’m flirting, you’ll know it.”

Nora’s breath was hot on his neck and it sent a chill down his spine. He was about to respond but his attention was pulled to the container in front of him. Steve opened a container. “I think I found what we’re looking for.” Steve watched as Nora pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Dammit.” The disappointment was radiating from her voice. “Sometimes, it’s really hard to separate the spy, the head of Shield, from the man that helped me become who I am today. The person my father revered. I just can’t.”

“I’m sorry Nora.” Steve put his hand on her shoulder.

“Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do this Steve.”

“No, but I know that feeling. And I’m sorry that you’re feeling it now.” Nora gave Steve a small smile.

“Thank you. God this is all so messed up. Let’s go to the lab. I’d like to talk to Nick and I need to ask Thor some questions about his brother.” Steve picked up the container and the two of them headed back to her Uncle and Dr. Banner.

Nora could heat heated voices as she and Steve approached the lab. So heated that they didn’t even notice the two of them enter in the middle of Bruce’s sentence.

“…When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within half a mile.” Nora could tell he was trying to control his temper. Tony picked up where Bruce left off. The two of them were a team already.

“And you’ll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase Two?” Tony wanted answers. Nora knew that look in his eye.

Nora jumped as Steve slammed the case down on the counter. “ Phase Two is SHIELD used the Cube to make weapons.” Steve answered for Fury and then directed himself towards Tony. “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.”

Nora gave Tony a dirty look. “I literally could have gotten it within 10 minutes tops. Stop trying to prove that you don’t need me.”

“Rogers, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we’re-“ Before Fury could finish Tony flipped the screen to reveal a plan for a missile. Nora pit her face in her hands. This was only going to get worse.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” Nora clenched her jaw. She didn’t know what to say to calm the waters because she was just as angry as the rest of them. She pulled herself from her thoughts as Natasha and Thor came into the lab.

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?” Bruce laughed in Natasha’s face.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.” Nora ignored their verbal ping pong as she went over to the monitor to check on the Tesseract. She paused and eyed Loki’s staff curiously. When she focused back on the group Fury was explaining why Sheild wanted to create these weapons.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly- hilariously, out-gunned.” Nora was going to tell Nick he was right but that he should have been upfront but Thor interjected before she had the chance.

“My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you? And, you’re not the only threat. The world’s filling up with people who can’t be matched, they can’t be controlled.” Fury shot back quickly. Nora couldn’t focus on what they were saying anymore. Her attention was drawn back to Loki’s staff like it was pulling her in. Bits and pieces of the argument would break through. She couldn’t focus on who was saying what as her head started to pound and the sceptor started to glow..

“Nuclear deterrent! ’Cause that always calms everything right down.”

“ I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep-“

“How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”

“I thought humans were more evolved than this.”

“I swear to God, Stark, one more crack...”

Nora felt more dizzy and tried to focus on Steve’s voice, though she wished she hadn’t. “Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?” Why was Steve attacking her Uncle? He didn’t know what he was talking about. Nora felt too woozy to feel any anger at that point.

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I’ve seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.” He was wrong. He didn’t know what Tony Stark was about. He put on a front but he was a hero. He took the world on his shoulders. Nora remembered Tony destroying all of the weapons sold to our enemies. She wanted to scream at Rogers but her head hurt too badly to speak. Tony’s voice cut through the pain.

“A hero, like you? You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”

“Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”

“Steve, Tony- Stop” Nora begged. Her voice wasn’t loud enough for them to hear her. She was sure it was Loki’s scepter causing them to act like this. It was what messed with Barton’s head. Loki had wanted it to be here, to cause this dissension. Finally Bruce’s yelling caused everything to stop.

“IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KILL ME. BUT YOU CAN’T, I KNOW, I TRIED!” He stopped and saw that everyone is staring at him and he continued. “I got low. I didn’t see an end so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on, I focused on helping other people. I was good until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk. You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You wanna know how I stay calm?”

“Oh Bruce...” Nora could feel his pain and anger, how broken he felt. He was holding the scepter while Fury and Natasha hand their hands on their guns. Nora was white as a sheet.

“Please Bruce. That thing is making you all act like this. Please put it down. No one is going to cage you, I promise..”

“Nora?” Tony’s voice was full of worry. She looked sick. She had barely said a word during the argument. She normally would tell Tony if he was being an ass or defend him if he was right. Steve took a deep breath, sighed and looked at Bruce.

“Doctor Banner, put down the scepter.” Banner looked down, surprised to see the spear in his hand. Suddenly the monitor made a noise, signaling the Tesseract has been located. Bruce put the scepter back on the table and walked over to the screen on the other side of the room. Nora walked over to the table and lightly touched the scepter, knowing it was the source of her pain. She just didn’t know why. She yanked her hand back and turned towards her Uncle.

Suddenly Tony turned to leave but Steve put his arm out to stop him. “You’re not going alone Stark!” Tony smacked Steve’s hand away.

“You gonna stop me?” Nora groaned. Taking steps towards the two men.

“Put on the suit, let’s find out!

“ I’m not afraid to hit an old man.”

“Will the two of you stop acting like children?!” Nora was pleading with them. Then she heard Banner yelling and then an explosion. Nora flew into Steve, he grabbed her by the waist as he and Tony fell near the entry way. Steve turned her so she would fall on him instead of the floor protecting her head and neck. The next thing she knew Steve was pulling her along with Tony.

[weareallfallengods]

Survival

Writing prompt:

If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

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Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

The Perfect Couple (Taehyung x You ONESHOT)

A/N: I hope you will like it anon! I tried to make it angstier but I hope this is good enough <3

MASTERLIST

The perfect couple.

That is the perfect definition to what Taehyung and Y/N are. Perfectly, madly in love with other. Perfectly matched with each other. The most handsome face in the world with the prettiest girl in the country. An internationally famous idol and a well known social influencer. A perfect match made in heaven.

Or so they say.

Y/N smile as she looks at her devastatingly handsome boyfriend from the corner of the room. Taehyung who somehow felt her stare turned to catch her eye to winked and flashed her his sexy boxy grin that Y/N loves too much before he turns back to continue with his mundane conversation with some of the other idols. In all honesty, he would rather grab Y/N and head home right now, having her panting and begging underneath him is always a much better option than being stuck plastering on a fake smile in these boring events.

They were at an after party of an award show, an usual event for the two of them who is always on top of the guest list, which is expected when you are the number one couple to look out for. Everybody loves them. Everybody wants to be them. Everybody wants them to make their presence known at their events. And what even more amazing is how they were not one of those made up couples that is all just for show.

The two of them were sincerely, honestly and purely in love with each other. Y/N was doing a live coverage of backstage footage of a music show for her video channel, when Taehyung first saw her, and he believes he never saw someone so beautiful, funny and just overall interesting like her. Since then, just like people would usually say, the rest is history. They develop fast friendship, and that friendship blossom into love and their love becomes forever.  Both Taehyung and Y/N are commonly known to be pretty much obsessed with one another, expressing their love to one another in the sweetest way possible that never fails to make the fans go crazy with adoration.

They were in love, and nothing could be more amazing than that.

"You must love him so much huh?" Y/N cocked her head to the side to see one of the girl group member, although familiar but she cant seem to put a name on the face, standing beside her, eyes looking straight at Taehyung as she swirled around her half empty glass.

"Yes. I do," Y/N answered, although feeling a little weird about the girl. Y/N herself has made quite a number of idol friends from her days of meeting them as Taehyung dates, but this girl is definitely not one of them. The girl smirked after hearing her answer.

"Too bad he doesnt love you as much," her next words came out without any real feelings attached to it as she take a sipped from her cup. Y/N raised an eyebrow at the unexpected answer.

What is her problem?

"Excuse me? Are you implying something?" The girl chuckled at Y/N's question as she down the rest of her drink and placed her glass on the bar counter behind her.

"I'm Nari by the way," she suddenly introduces herself. "I think it will do you a lot of good for you to remember my name," she glanced back to where Taehyung is still conversing with the other idol. "Have you ever wonder with who your beloved boyfriend spend time with while he's on tour?"

Y/N starts to feel that something is definitely not right with her last question. What is this girl up to?

"Urm, his band members? Obviously," to this answer Nari laughs out loud, tilting her head back, exposing her long beautiful neck.

"Maybe a part of it sweetheart. Look, Y/N is it?" she eyed Y/N up and down, obviously knowing fully well who she is. "You look like a nice girl, and I really dont want to do this, but," she took out something from her tiny clutch bag and placed it into Y/N's open palm. "If you would be so kind to please return this to Taetae. And tell him I say thanks for that great night," Nari winked and walks away, leaving a confused Y/N alone.

Y/N can feel her heart beat starts to race as she felt the cold metal against her skin, definitely recognizing what it is. She opened her palm and her suspicion is confirmed as she saw Taehyung's silver ring nestled in her palms. The ring that they bought together to matched with each other as a symbol of their love.

Y/N doesnt want to believe what she's seeing. She doesnt want to believe what Nari is implying.

It cant be true.

Taehyung loves her. He wouldnt do that. He wouldnt.

Would he?

But the cold metal against her skin brings Y/N back to reality. The harsh cold reality where her boyfriend's ring, his supposed most prized possesion, is found with some other girl.

Y/N immediately turned around and walked towards the exit, not even bothering to tell Taehyung or anybody else that she's leaving as she tried her best to wiped off the tears that start to cascade down her cheeks.

/////

"Baby, where the hell did you go? I was so worried! Why didnt you tell me you were leaving? I would have gone back home with you. You didnt even pick up my calls!" Taehyung fussed the moment he swing opened the door and saw Y/N standing by the mini bar, calmly sipping on her drink.

"Y/N? What's wrong with you? Do you even hear what I said?" Taehyung stride to the bar and placed his hands over hers that is laid flat on the bar counter. Y/N flinched and retracted her hands, making Taehyung confused. "Hey, baby, did something happen? Are you-"

"Taehyung, just stop it. Stop acting like you care," she snapped. Taehyung was surprised by her sudden attack.

"Okay...What the hell is going on Y/N? Baby, why are you acting this way?" Taehyung brows creased in worry. Y/N took her time to answer, first sipping on the rest of her drink, finishing it in one go.

"I think you will remember where you left this," Y/N dropped the ring inside his open palm and turned away once she placed her glass back on the counter. "And she told me to say thanks for the great night you gave her," Y/N turned away from the bar. Although at first confused, Taehyung eyes widen with recognition as he looks into his hand and saw what Y/N has given him.

His ring.

The identical ring he and Y/N wore as a symbol of their everlasting love and loyalty with each other.

The ring that Taehyung will quietly slipped off whenever he spend the night underneath Nari, tangled in her sheets, making her scream over and over again all night long.

The ring he took off to take his guilty mind off his beloved girlfriend whenver he is in another woman's arms.

The ring that in all his clumsiness, he left at Nari's and reminded her to give it back to him, never imagining that she would use this opportunity to take advantage of the situation and expose their infidelity to Y/N.

The ring that now has become the cause of Y/N's shattered heart.

Taehyung immediately looked up from the ring that use to represent their love, but now would only reminds them of his infidelity and take quick steps towards Y/N.

"No. Stop Tae. Please dont come any closer," Y/N raised a hand, her voice shakes with sadness although no tears graced her eyes. Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He would never thought there would be a day where Y/N wouldnt want him to come close.

And that feeling hurts like hell.

She wanted to believe the situation that is playing in her mind is not true. She wanted to hear Taehyung laughs and said she is overthinking things. That he actually left it in the dressing room, or the stage, or anywhere other than Nari's bed. But the look Taehyung gave her the moment he saw the ring says it all.

Taehyung is cheating on her.

"Y/N, please baby, let me-"

"No Tae," Y/N closes her eyes for a moment before opening them again, trying to find her strength. This is really happening. This is all not a dream. The only man in the world she loves so much, the one he gave her heart, body and soul fully to, finally breaks her heart. And there is nothing she can do to ease the numbing pain that is slowly creeping up her heart. "I dont want to know. I dont want to know how, or how long, or how it happened, or why. I dont want to know anything," Y/N tries her best to hide the quiver in her voice but its too obvious to Taehyung. His baby is hurting and its all his fault. "But what I do know is you broke my heart. You broke my trust. You threw away all the love I gave to you like it doesnt mean anything. You threw away all our years together like it never mattered to you. All I know is that this is over. We are over Tae," Y/N finished her sentence with a voice barely above a whisper, already losing all her strength.

Taehyung's eyes widen and his mouth quivers in disbelief.

"No Y/N. No. No. No! I'm.. baby, no!"

"Please Tae," Y/N whispered. "Dont make this any harder for me. Please leave. Leave Tae. I cant see you right now. Leave, and just let me be alone," Y/N closes her eyes as she plead, hoping to rid of Taehyung's face from her mind although she knows its not possible. Taehyung took quick steps to close the gap between them and tries to hold her arms, which Y/N immediately flicnhed away.

"Y/N, please dont do this. Please just let me explain. I cant live without you baby," Taehyung begs as he feel the panic rising in his chest.

"Fine. If you wont leave, then I will,"

Y/N grabbed her purse and spun on her heels to head to door. She turned around and face Taehyung one last time with glossy eyes, trying her hardest to blink back the tears. "You know Tae," she whispered, voice soft as she flicked her sad eyes to roam over Taehyung's handsome face for the last time, "I love you. I would have given up everything for you. And I'm sorry for thinking that maybe that is enough for you," she closes her eyes and a stray tear rolled down her cheeks which she quickly wiped away as she opened back her eyes. "I never thought that out of everyone that I met, you would be the one who would eventually breaks my heart," Y//N slipped off her identical ring from her finger to Taehyung's horror and placed it on the side table before opening the door.

"Goodbye, Kim Taehyung,"

/////

It didnt take long before the world is presented with the news that the perfect couple is officially no longer together. The world was angry, surprised and shocked to learn that Taehyung cheated on his perfect girlfriend.

To be honest, Taehyung himself didnt know why he did it in the first place.

Taehyung sat on his bed, staring blankly at his walls when Jimin walks in, holding his phone.

"Is this true Tae? You and Y/N are no longer together?" Taehyung turned his head to face his friend but only give him a blank stare, which is more than enough for Jimin to confirm what he needs to know.

"Holy fuck. What the hell happened?" Jimin took a seat beside his friend on the bed. Just like everybody else, the boys also rooted for Taehyung and Y/N. They love to see their brother happy, and being with Y/N seems to be doing exactly that. Taehyung stayed silent for a moment before he finally answers.

"I...I cheated on Y/N, Chim. I cheated on her with Nari,"

"What?!" Jimin cant control the shocked in his voice. "You did what?! And with Nari?!" Taehyung chose to ignore the obvious questions Jimin is shooting him with while Jimin tries to calm himself down, realizing he might have made Taehyung felt attacked. "Okay, okay. Tell me what happened Tae? Is it just a one time thing? I'm sure Y/N will forgive you. Everyone makes mistake. Everyone deserve a second chance, dont they?"

Taehyung sighed and buried his face in his hands.

"I dont think I deserve her forgiveness Chim. Its... its not a one time thing. I cheated on her everytime we went on tour. Every. Single. Time," Jimin is once again taken by surprised by his friend's confession. Shit, Taehyung is truly fucked now. A thought suddenly came to mind.

"Wait. Does this mean that everytime you declined our invitayion for dinner or hanging out at the club after our shows and you always have the do not disturb sign at the door after... you were with Nari?" Taehyung weakly nodded his head. Jimin mouth dropped open in shocked again. All these while the boys had thought Taehyung wanted some privacy to talk to Y/N whenever they were away on tour. Never would have they thought that Taehyung is actually fucking another girl all these while. Jimin never would have thought that the two would have taken cheating too far, to the point where Nari will come to wherever they are having their tour? That's just sick.

"What are you going to do now Tae? Do you even want her back?" Jimin asks softly. Taehyung once again nodded his head weakly.

"Yes," he runs his hand through his hair and that's when Jimin notice his wet eyes. "God, I made the stupidest mistake I could have ever make in my life Chim. I love her. I love her so damn much. Y/N is my perfect match in every way and I screw it up for some temporary lust. I want her back. I need her to come back. I need her Chim," Jimin kept quiet as his friend keeps on rambling. He sighed and looked down towards the floor, feeling sad for Taehyung but knows its his own damn mistake.

"Honestly Tae? I dont think that's up to you,"

/////

Days that lead after their breakup was hell to Taehyung. Nothing seems to go right. He didnt have the heart to give his best performance for any of his shows or to even put even a pinch of effort on his dance practice. The only thing he can think of is how to get Y/N back.

Y/N was completely serious when she told him that they were over. She blocked him on all her private social medias, and as well as his number. She didnt keep in contact with any of the boys even when they tried to, or any of their mutual friends. She even moved out from her old apartment. Taehyung have absolutely no way to contact her, or get updates about her, except from her public accounts which is filled with comments telling her to be strong and flirty remarks from various men, suggesting that now she is finally single, they are always available to replace Taehyung's place if she so desired, making Taehyung balled his fist in fury. What's even worse is the television is still filled with news about her daily life. Where she's been, what she's wearing and what she's been doing. Taehyung can only sit, frozen on the couch and watch Y/N graced the TV screen, flashing her exhausted but still beautiful smile. Y/N is the country sweetheart, she will always stay that way, and he is the asshole who broke her heart.

Looking at her from the glossy television screen, Taehyung wonders what has gotten into him to even thought of cheating when he already have the most perfect girl in the world. He has perfection but somehow he went for something else.

The news of their break up seems to act an invitation to Nari who keeps showing up to his show during backstage and of course, on his tours. The boys will just sit with awkward silent whenever Nari appeared, the complete opposite reaction from days when Y/N used to come and visit him during his shows. Feeling angry at himself and Nari for exposing them, he dragged her out from their dressing room and warned her to never appear in front of him ever again. He knows he is being an asshole. Its not fully Nari's fault. It takes two to cheat. But he rather be an asshole to her now than risk people seeing them together and lose all chances to ever be with Y/N again.

He closes his eyes after he sat back down on his makeup chair, trying to get rid of the images of a furious and crying Nari and his thoughts ran back to Y/N. God, he misses her. He miss her smile, her laughter, her kisses. He miss how she would usually be here backstage with him. Taking snippets and selfies to post on her page and how she will always keep the cutest one for her own personal keeping.

"I cant share everything about my boyfriend to everyone. Some of is for my eyes only. You are mine Tae. You are stuck with me forever," she giggled when Taehyung once asks her about it before they share a passionate kiss.

I will always be yours Y/N. Do you still want me to be yours?

Taehyung opened his eyes and quickly wiped away the tears that seems to trickled at the corner of his eyes when he heard soft footsteps coming from the dressing room next door.

EXO's dressing room.

"Did you hear that Y/N is finally single now?" Taehyung's ears quickly catch the soft voices at the mentioned of Y/N's name. Why is his sunbaenims talking about Y/N?

"Of course he does Suho-hyung. He keeps everything there is to know about her up to date, like a creepy stalker," another voice chuckled, which Taehyung immediately recognized as Sehun's.

"Shut up!"

"Ohhh you are blushing hyung! You like her dont you? Just admit it. All the other hyungs already knows aboit it too!" Sehun laughs. Taehyung cranks his neck to catch a glimpse of the third guy who is supposedly in love with his girlfriend.

"I do not! Just shut up!"

"Sorry Baek, but I'm with the maknae on this one. You are so in love with her, its getting disgusting," Suho added on from the maknae's teasing. "Maybe you can make your move now, while she's single. You know how people wants to be with her. With guys throwing themselves at her left and right, I bet she wont be single for long! After all, she's used to dating an idol anyway, so she will have no problem in dating you," the boys are silent for a while before Taehyung finally hears the voice he now know as Baekhyun's.

"I dont know. She's V's ex girlfriend. You know I'm friends with him. Isnt it breaking the bro code or something to go after his ex?" he sighed. Taehyung felt a little relief to hear his friend's word and smile a little.

"I know, I know. I'm friends with him too! But he's the dumbass who cheated on her. Its not like you would act on it if they are still together. They are over! Besides, doesnt it means that he didnt love her if he is willing to cheat? He probably wont even care,"

Baekhyun stayed quiet for a moment, pondering on his leader's words. "You know what. Maybe you are right hyung. I think I should go for it this time. I will make Y/N mine," come Baekhyun's determined voice, followed by a loud whoop who Taehyung presumed is from the other EXO's members who has joined the other three.

The dressing room is filled with cold silence as the other six boys look at each other, obviously having heard the same conversation as Taehyung did. Jungkook finally decides to speak up after a moment.

"Tae-hyung, are you-"

"I'm fine," he grunted, but he doesnt look fine at all as he balled his hand into fists. "That doesnt matter. Y/N loves me. I made a stupid mistake but I will make it right again. Y/N and me will be back together again. I will get her back. I know I will," he said, shutting the other boys right up, although he himself is not convinced by his own words as he turned to see Baekhyun's handsome face as him and his group passes by their room on their way to the stage.

/////

"And here, we have..." Y/N smile into the hand held camera as she knocked on the dressing room door before pushing it opened. Its another one of her backstage videos and she is doing a short interview with all the artists. Most of them already know her and dont usually mind her presence. Y/N stepped inside and cursed herself for not first checking which group this room belongs too. Seven pair of eyes turned to look at her with a smile, one with a particulay large boxy one.

Taehyung's face light up once he sees Y/N enters his dressing room with her camera. She must be doing one of her videos again, he thought. Taehyung is just ecstatic to just see her again. He misses her face so much. Taehyung took a step forward to lead her nearer to the group like he would usually do but Y/N quickly manuever her steps and went beside Namjoon instead, who is on the opposite side of Taehyung, making everybody stood awkwardly before Y/N cleared her throat, putting on a cheerful face and starts to ask the questions.

"And that's all the time we have for Bangtan!" Y/N greeted her viewers before she and the rest of the members waved goodbye before ending the recording.

"Thankyou guys. My viewers would be so happy to see you guys again. Bangtan havent appeared on my show since after... uhmm," Y/N stopped herself before she could continued, the boys all looking quietly at each other.

Before I cheated on you. Taehyung told himself as he hung his head low.

"Uhm ah, okay then. I should be going for my next interview. They are coming off stage soon," Y/N bowed and quickly make her way out, not noticing Taehyung followed after her until he grabbed her hand and turned her around to face him.

"Y/N,"

"Taehyung," Y/N answered back quietly, avoiding his eyes.

"Its been so long since you've call me by my full name..." he mumbled quietly. Y/N never calls him that ever since they got together. She will always go by Tae, Taetae or his personal favorite, baby. Taehyung would give anything to hear her calls him that again.

"Um... well. We both better get used to it. I cant be calling you anything else but that anymore," Taehyung ignored the pain he felt in his chest at her statement.

"How are you?" he nervously asked. Looking at her wide innocent eyes staring up at him, looking so beautiful without even the slightest make up on, Taehyung just wanted to pull her into his arms and just keep her in his embraced if he could right this moment but he knows he might not be able to do that ever again, and that realization makes him feel sick to the stomach.

"I... I'm doing okay. I guess," she replied with a soft smile.

"That's... that's good," an awkward siilent as Y/N fiddles with her fingers, waiting for Taehyung to search for something to say. He has never been at a loss of words with Y/N before and its killing him. He wants everything to go back to normal. If he could just turn back time, he wishes he never met Nari and he never even thought of breaking Y/N's heart. But everything is just too late now.

"Y/N, I miss you,"

Taehyung blurted out, taking Y/N by surprised. Y/N sighed as she lowered her gaze.

"Taehyung... dont,"

"But its true. I miss you. I miss you so much Y/N," Taehyung found a bit of courage when he sees Y/N is still standing here and not running away like he expect her too after his sudden confession. He took a step closer and took hold of her soft hands, which she didnt pull away. "Dont you... dont you miss me at all?"

"I do," Y/N closes her eyes. "I miss you every single day, it hurts," she pulled her hands away.

"Then, cant you give me a chance to make up for my mistakes?"

"I wish I could Taehyung. But everytime I told myself to try, I imagined you and her, and my heart breaks all over again. I can never even imagine myself falling in love with anyone else and I'm dying everyday when I remember that you dont even love me enough to think the same. It kills me when I think about how I used to be unable to fall asleep without you by my side whenever you are on tour because I miss you too much but you were sound asleep next to her, tangling under her sheets. I feel like crumbling when I'm reminded how you use to smile and told me you love me but in reality you never really did. I'm dying inside Taehyung. You and her... I just..."

Taehyung felt his heart ached, breaking. This is the first time since they broke up that Y/N really tells him how she felt. Taehyung wanted to tell her none of it is true. He loves her. When he told her he loves her, he really meant it. Nari could never even compare to Y/N. Not even a bit. Taehyung didnt know why he cheated. He blamed it on his lust. His desires as a hot blooded men, but that is not enough to make it right. Nothing could ever make it right. Y/N looked so defeated, fallen, that if burning every inch of himself could make her smile again, Taehyung would do it in a blink of an eye. But it could not, nothing could.

"I still love you Taehyung," Y/N suddenly voiced out, snapping him out of his thoughts. He looks at her, feeling a ray of hope. "But I dont want to anymore,"

Taehyung finally understand what heartbreaks really meant upon hearing Y/N last words. How can he live his days in a world where Y/N, his angel Y/N, dont even want to love him anymore?

"Y/N-"

"Hey Tae darling," Nari suddenly appeared out of no where, linking her hand around Taehyung's arms. She smiled at Taehyung before flicking her eyes towards Y/N.

"Oh. Hey. We met at the after party the other day right?" She smirked. Y/N just nodded and her eyes went to Taehyung's face who is now lined with panic as he tries to shake himself out from Nari's hold.

"Y/N, Y/N, baby, this is not what it looks-" but Y/N quickly bowed and give the two of them a small smile before running off to the other direction.

/////

"Ouch,"

"Oh shit sorry. I didnt think anyone would be sitting here. Are you..." Baekhyun stopped mid sentence when he sees who is actually sitting on the ground, leaning against the door that he just swung opened and his heart starts to race.

Its Y/N.

"...okay?"

Y/N quickly wiped her puffy eyes and her pink runny nose before quickly standing up and bowed. "I'm sorry. I didnt know anyone would be using this door," she bowed again and start to move away when Baekhyun stopped her.

"Wait!" Y/N turned around with a look of confusion. "Urm ahh... are you okay? You dont look okay? Have you been crying? People dont usually cry at musuc shows," Baekhyun rambled on. Its his first time to actually talk to Y/N face to face and there is no way he's letting this opportunity pass although he silently cursed himself for stammering and asking such uncool questions. Y/N giggled at his question.

"Dont your fans usually cry when they got to see you guys perform live or something?" Baekhyun laughs. He never would have thought that A) Y/N would recognized who he is and B) Would respond to his lame attempt of conversation with a joke.

"Well, you dont seem like the kind who would cry over an idol," he flashed his beautiful smile. Y/N laughs lightly.

"Then you obviously dont know me," she answered with a small voice.

That asshole V must be the one who made her cry again.

Baekhyun thought to himself as he thinks about what Y/N meant. His mind clicked back to the scene he saw a few moments ago, where V is dragging one of the girl idol inside an empty dressing room. He has a stern look on his face but the girl is obviously hanging onto his arm like he is the last meal on earth. Y/N must have seen them together.

"Then the idol that makes such a beautiful girl like you cry must be the stupidest idol alive," he replied. He knows it sounds cheesy as hell, but it feels right to say it to Y/N. She laughs.

"Thankyou for making me laugh," she wiped her eyes. "And sorry for blocking the door. I shall get going now,"

"No!" Baekhyun shouted out of panic to see her leave. Y/N looks more confused than ever. "I mean... since I hit you with the door, why dont I give you a tour of EXO's dressing room? The members are all there. It would be good for your show. You never asked us to be on your show before," he faked pouted.

"Wait. You know who I am?" Y/N was surprised. She didnt expect for such a big group to actually know her.

"Of course I do. You are Y/N! You are the best social influencer and Youtuber out there. I have your account on subscribe," he winked. "So what do you say? For the sake of your show?" After pondering for a moment, Y/N agrees. What does she has to lose anyway.

Meeting the rest of EXO is something Y/N could never have imagined herself doing. They are nice, friendly, humble and funny. And there are just so many of them. They made the content of her videos more funny and entertaining and her visit to their dressing room never ceased of laughter.

"Quick work Baek," Suho whispered in his ear as the leader passes Baekhyun's with a grin on his face. Baekhyun just rolls his eyes and turned back to watch Y/N naturally conversing with his members, a smile crept on his face without him realizing.

How in the world can someone cheat on someone so perfect? V you are such an idiot. You truly are.

/////

Taehyung tapped his fingers on his computer table, anxious, while his mind cant stop repeating what he saw earlier today. After his conversation with Y/N, which was rudely interrupted by Nari, he dragged Nari off to warn and remind her once again that what they had is a mistake and its over. He huffed back to his dressing room and that's when he heard the voice as he pass by EXO's dressing room, Y/N''s laughter. He peeks his head through the crack and saw Y/N laughing so hard with the members, holding out her camera. She must be doing a show with them. But what bothers him the most is the sight of damn Baekhyun always by her side. After the conversation he heard earlier, that is the sight that he never wishes to see.

Teahyung quickly types in Y/N Youtube account and scroll for her latest upload, clicking on the most recent ones, which is of course, her interview with EXO earlier. Taehyung restlessly finished watching the clip, hating every moment of it. But what makes his blood boil the most are the comments below.

Awww Y/N and Baek looks so adorable together.

Do I smell a new ship coming?

God, I hope Baek and Y/N gets together.

I ship ship ship ship Y/NHyun forever.

Y/N deserves to be happy. And look how happy Baekhyun is making her!

Taehyung slammed his laptop shut and buried his head in his hands. He cant lose Y/N. He cant. Y/N is his everything. His perfect match.

That damn hyung!

/////

The gossips about Y/N and Baekhyun are getting ridiculous. Everywhere Taehyung turns, there are stories about them. The only thing that helps calm his heart is whenever someone asks Y/N about Baekhyun, she will profusely denied that they are in a relationship. Always saying that she only respected him as a senior idol in the industry, although Baekhyun in the other hand, will usually flashed his tantalizing smile when asked the same question, creating more assumption about the two.

He tried to be civil. He really did. After all, Taehyung knows he doesnt have any right to stop Y/N from dating anyone else she wants, but that thought still kills him inside. He kept his cool whenever he met Baekhyun backstage or at some shows, although what he really wanted to do is told him to back away from his girl. But Taehyung finally loses his cool when he saw the two of them together one day.

Y/N and Baekhyun was invited for a show and when they are done, Taehyung caught a glimpse of them backstage. He saw how his sunbae tucked Y/N's hair behind her ear and whisper something to her. No matter how hard he tried, he still cant hear what was being said but it doesnt matter when he saw Baekhyun leaned in and kiss her right on the lips. It took Y/N a few seconds to recover from her shocked and realized what was happening before she pushed him away, stammering what Taehyung guess is 'I'm sorry' and ran off, leaving the older man in dazed. Taehyung knows he should just let it go. Y/N is no longer his and she didnt want the kiss. She even pushed him away. But the thought of some other man laying his hand on her, touching Y/N like what Taehyung used to do set him on fire, and without realizing, Taehyung has already jumped on his sunbae and land a punched across his face, making him fall to the ground.

Taehyung stood, watching the older man laying on the ground with blazing eyes, chest heaving up and down from his heavy breathing.

"I'm not going to fight you," Baekhyun breaks the silenced as he wiped the blood that trickled down from his lips.

"What?"

"I'm not going to fight you V. Yes, I think you already know that I love her. And yes, I still dont think you deserve her after the shit you've done to her," Taehyung growled. "But I love her enough to just want her to be happy. If she decides its you who can make her happy and wants you back, there is nothing in the world that I can do change her mind. And if she decides she dont want you and chose me instead, there is also nothing I can do to change that V. Everything is up to her.So rather than fighting me, dont you think you should focus on getting Y/N's forgiveness first? I dont want to fight you. I care for you like a brother V," Baekhyun sighed. "And truth be told, I dont think Y/N will ever love me like she did with you," he patted Taehyung's back and limped away, leaving Taehyung stunned and regretting his actions.

/////

Taehyung laid down on his bed, still thinking about the whole Baekhyun and Y/N debacle. He only saw him trying to kiss her and he's already loosing it. How must Y/N felt when she finds out that he actually slept with someone else? Taehyung close his eyes, feeling the tears starts to pricked the back of his eyes. Why is he such an asshole? Why did he do this to Y/N? What was he thinking? So many questions but none that he can answer. Taehyung almost drowned himself in self pity when his door slammed opened, revealing a fuming Y/N, both hands on her hips, stalking towards him with a purpose.

"Kim Taehyung! Did you just seriously punched Baekhyun across the face? Are you crazy?!" Taehyung immediately stood up from his bed, surprised by her yelling presence.

"Y... Y/N?"

"Sorry Taetae. She was knocking on the front door like crazy. I thought the door would fall off! She came straight in here when I let her in," Hoseok peeked from the door before quickly walks away after offering his explanation, not wanting to get involved in what seems to be a lover's spat.

"Explain yourself!"

"I'm not sorry for what I did Y/N! He got his hands all over you! How can I just stand and watch someone claimed whats mine right in front of me?" Taehyung crosses his arms across his chest, not backing down although an angry Y/N did scare him a little.

"I am not yours Taehyung! We broke up a long time ago! And whatever it is, it still doesnt give you the right to go around and punch people!"

"No! You were mine Y/N and you will be again. You were made for me and I am made for you. I know you felt it too. I know you can feel that I am the one for you. Why are you so angry? This is because of Baekhyun isnt it? Because I hurt your boyfriend's face?" Taehyung growled, spatting his last words. He really wished he could land another punched on Baekhyun's face right now when he thinks about how Y/N is defending him right now.

"I dont want you back Taehyung! I dont want to be with you! I dont want to love you! Cant you understand that? This has nothing to do with Baek! We are just friends," Y/N is frustrated. Why is Taehyung acting like this? Why is he making things more complicated?

"This is what you call being friends? Him trying to kiss you?!" Y/N seethed in anger as Taehyung yelled at her. Who does he think he is?

"Why do you care Taehyung? You are no longer my boyfriend. What I do and who I do it with has nothing to do with you. You lost your right the moment you decide to fuck Nari when you are still together with me!" Y/N is finally crying now. She had tried so hard to composed herself in front of him, but the memory of his infidelity always breaks her heart all over again. "You lost your right when you break my heart into pieces Tae..." Y/N sobbed, her face are now wet with tears. Taehyung's heart ached like crazy to see his baby crying so hard, hurt and broken because of him. He quickly walks to her and engulfed her in a tight hug, tucking her head underneath his chin. It also didnt get passed him that Y/N finally called him Tae again, making his heart skipped a beat.

"Y/N... I'm am so so sorry for what I did. Please baby..."

"Just let me go Tae. Please let me end this pain that I'm feeling. Let me go..." Y/N plead between her sobs, making Taehyung cry with her. He didnt know he had broke Y/N down this bad, but still, he cant give her what she wanted. He cant live without her.

"No! I wont let you go Y/N. I just... cant. Im not lying when I said I cant live without you baby. Nari is a mistake. A huge damn fucking mistake that I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. Nothing could excuse what I did. And nothing will be a good enough reason for you to forgive me. But no matter what happen, I'm going to do it with you by my side, as my wife,"

"What?!"

"Y/N i love you. And I know. I know I dont deserve you. Especially after this stupid shit that I've done. Hell, no one in this world deserves you. You are an angel. But you are an angel sent for me. To lead my way back. Im lost without you Y/N. You are my perfect match in every way. Marry me Y/N. You dont have to forgive me right now, but please. Please please please dont leave me. I cant live without you. I'm begging you," Taehyung fell to his knees, hugging Y/N tight by tbe waist. Whatever punishment she decides to give him, he will accept it, no questions asked. He will do anything, anything at all, except leaving her.

"I cant Tae... I cant do this," Y/N cried, her tears falling on his arms as he pried his hands away and ran off.

Ever since that day, Y/N kept on receiving weird packages delivered to her house from Taehyung. A single fork, a salt shaker, a one sided glove, a one sided sock, a single earring, a single chopstick and whole bunch of other incomplete things. Its always wrapped nicely in a box, completed with a ribbon, and always comes with the same note everytime.

Me without you. Xoxo Tae

Y/N finally had enough and decide to personally asks Taehyung to stopped when she came home one day to received about a 100 pieces of one sided shoes. A 100 of left sides. Y/N thought Taehyung has gone crazy and immediately pays him a visit.

"Stop sending me useless things. I dont want to hear from you anymore Tae," Y/N sighed in frustration the moment Taehyung open the door to his dorm.

"All those things, they are useless isnt it?" Was all he asked with his lifeless and tired eyes.

"Yes! Why do you feel the need to send me 100 left side of a shoe? And a single chopstick? Stop playing games Taehyung. This is getting exhausting," Y/N wailed, about to turn and exit the dorm but what he said next stopped her.

"Thats me,"

"What?" Y/N asked, irritated and confused.

"Thats me without you. Useless," Taehyung raised his head to stare deep into her eyes. For the longest time after they broke up, Y/N can finally see the pain, hurt, regret and sadness in his dark eyes.

"Tae-"

"Im just like those things when I'm not with you Y/N. Useless, worthless, impratical, purposeless and dysfunctional,"

"Tae, stop,"

"Its true Y/N," Taehyung closes the gap between the two of them and held her tight by the shoulders. "I love you so much. Y/N, baby, do you know what perfect means to me?" He peered into her eyes, trying to see if she is still listening to him. "It means two things that are completely different but complimented each other in every way. You are everything that I am not Y/N, that is why you complete me. So tell me Y/N, how can I ever be complete without you? How can a spoon be complete without its fork? A chopstick without its partner? Even with a hundred pieces, a left side of a shoe is still isnt complete without its right side. That's me without you baby,"

"Taehyung..." Y/N is trying hard to blinked back the tears. Why is Taehyung saying all this? Why cant he just let her go without reminding her about his feelings?

"Come back to me Y/N," Taehyung whispered. "Dont you ever wonder why you still bother to put up with my shit even after we broke up? Its because you cant move on from me either baby. I am a part of you. We are made for each other. We are not complete without one another. You are what prefected my whole being Y/N. Without you I'm just sugar without salt, egg without the yolk, sea without the sand, sun without the moon. You are my perfect match in every way. I might be an old torned right side of a shoe, flawed and made the stupidest mistake anyone can think off, but I'm still your right side of shoe." Taehyung gave her a tiny smile. “Let me make it up to you for all of my mistakes. Let me love you right this time,”

"What do you say baby? Will you come back to me please? Will you be my right shoe?" He laughs a little at the comparison, making Y/N smile between her tears. "Will you give us a chance to be the perfect couple once again?"

Y/N leaned closer and placed her forehead against Taehyung's. To be honest, she's exhausted of fighting her own heart to stay away from him. She's tired of being sad, lonely and hurt. She's tired of missing him. Taehyung was right. He is her perfect match in every way, she could never stay away for long. Yes, he broke her heart, but he also regretted it, and he realized what he did wrong and he had also suffered because of it. Humans arent perfect, and that is what make Taehyung and her perfect for each other.

"Its going to take a long time to fix this Tae...but..." Taehyung looked at her, waiting for her next sentence in full anticipation. "Yes. Yes Tae, I will be your right shoe," she laughs as she finally gives in and accept his kiss.

[musubiki]

Got any hcs for white? Her starter, her journey, etc? And like. Fws hcs?? 👀👀👀

K HERE WE GO MY SECOND FAVORITE GIRL EVER(this is gonna be long bc. i like them too)

➞

white chose tepig as her starter. this is actually a GREAT match because Gus is really rash and hasty and stubborn fist fighter just like her

white has never lost a battle. that was her goal it was never really to become champion or anything (she didnt care for all the responsibility that came with it) her goal was to be undefeated. which did not bode well for cheren, who wanted to be champion, and lost every battle against her

“well this is discouraging”

she really loves bianca!!! and cheren!!!!! she has the least patience and sense out of the three. cheren has to keep her grounded so she doesnt do weird shit

white is physically the strongest out of the protags. its mysterious. she als o has the best hair 

when she first meets N he is. a creep. im sorry. even i see it like that when you first meet him hes weird. when she first hears the team plasma speech in the first town, shes like boiling already. why would anyone listen to the knights of the round table?! this is weird. she kicks N’s ass first battle.

her problem from here on out and throughout the journey is that. she was the opposite of N. she thought that everyone treated their pokemon nicely and no one could ever hurt a pokemon. she learned she was wrong fairly quickly, and tried to fix and embrace reality instead of N, who tried to change the world all at once.

this is why shes the hero of truth and hes the hero of ideals. 

i dont have a lot of solid hc interactions between them (mostly bc i havent played in a while jfklas i abandoned my boy) but throughout their journey they. actually talk. and argue. and they both equally learn things from each other. and despite him being kinda weird (she thinks) shes actually kinda concerned for him

he makes her think about things she wouldnt otherwise. not just the fate of pokemon but about the future and the whole world. because of him she actually has this moment, where she has all of her current team out. and she realises that she is, like what he says and just makes her pokemon fight. of course and loves and cares for them, and she just. asks them real solemly like. “Do you guys even want to fight? Like do you even like being here?” 

and she already decided that if any of them didn’t want to be there, she would let them go.

luckily, her whole team is full of pokemon just like her and they enjoy the fights, and the adventure, and spending time with her, and shes thrilled. after this she asks pokemon she catches that she wants to keep if they wanna stay with her

i love N a lot ok. whenever N talks to white she always says something that surprises him and makes him look at the world differently. eventually he finds himself actually seeking her out and deliberatly looking for chances to run into her. he gains a lot of respect for her. whenever he talks to her he takes his hat off and nervoulsy kinda. holds it in his hands and shes kinda “?”

when she first finds out hes king. of team plasma. shes pissed. shes ready to TIP TH DAMN CART THING IN THE FERRISHWEEL AND HAVE A FIGHT RIGHT THERE. HES TELLING HER TO CALM DOWN AND SHES LIKE HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT??????????????

shes angry bc hes the king of this. horrible orginization. and as far as shes seen all they do is steal and abuse pokemon. the next few times she talks to him he tells her that theyre nothing like that, and that they only look after pokemon

this is actually true. some of the grunts fully believe in the true cause. but most of them follow ghetsis. and N has no idea that his grunts are actually abusing and stealing (i keep thinking about the dreamyard because that scene was what the fuck????a re you doing????)

she begins to realize this. that he has no idea. and that he actually believes in this cause. and as she gets to know him she realises he is. the purest person. and he has no idea. and she feels kinda bad bc she was kinda mean to him before, but hes still plasma so shes confused about how she should treat him because he always treats her and her pokemon pretty nicely. 

N is actually a very nice and gentle soul. he’ll put up a fight for sure, but especially towards white hes the sgtwytwytws weetest thing im sorry i have a soft spot for him. lowkey he wants her approval.

if youve ever seen miraculous ladybug, i imagine N to be kind of like adrien(without the chat side to him) like hes just. nice. and gentle and. cute.

i hc that they have way more interactions than the game gives you

the best thing theyve ever had together was this celebration in Iccirus city (similar to like…the 4th of july kinda thing..) and whites pretty alone. cherena and bianca are off doing Arceus knows what and shes like. alone. and she finds N outside the city with some pokemon. 

so she goes and talks to him. questions why hes out here all alone in like, the cold. shouldnt you be with your family or something? its a holiday. and she caught him off gaurd and he immedatly like stands up and hes kinda happy to see her. he doesnt question why but hes. happy. when shes around. 

he tells her his father never really cared for these kinds of celebrations anyway, and that he usually spends these kinds of days alone. he doesnt think this is a big deal but whites kinda,.. lonely too. so she proposes “Listen, no one should be alone today. And I don’t really have anyone to hang out with either, so what do you say we just, forget about the sworn enemies thing for the night and go have some fun or something” 

and hes. surprised. here she goes again. always saying something new and pleasent and hes. like beaming hes so cutnhejfje so he agrees. 

and this turns into. a pretty great night for them both actually. like they actually get along great when theyre not arguing about the future of unova. they play a lot of booth games and. 

hdj white loses at one of those ball tossing games(she usually loses and then harasses the booth guy with “Booo its rigged” but she just likes to have fun) and N. is determined. he fuckin. calculates wind direction and all this weird shit and gets. a record high score and shes like how the fuck did you do that. he smiles and answers its all in the wrist. 

he gets her some stuffed animal thing. shes like this is the best day ever shes thrilled. they go and get food and like by the end of the night theyre actually. like friends. and she didnt think this would happen but she actually likes hanging out with him. at some point she wins a seashell necklace that she wears for the timeskip outfit

so theyre sitting there at the edge of the festival whatever eating caramel popcorn and ice cream and hot dogs laughing and telling stories about weird people theyve met and crazy things theyve done.

and they talk about his family. and why hes with plasma in the first place. and where her parents are. and why they believe in the things that they say and do. it turns out theyre both orphans. the only difference between them is that hes alone

at some point (i forget how this comes up) he asks white if theyre friends. she pauses for a while because she doesnt know how to answer it. yes, she thinks, when she’s with him like this. when she forgets that hes leading a region-wide organization aiming to seperate people and pokemon. but she settles with a yes, and jokingly adds that if they were destined to be mortal enemies they could hang out more, and he smiles

she spots a pair of plasma grunts, looks like theyre doing some shady things, but her head flashes back to the conversations shes had with N. he doesnt know what his grunts do. so she tells him to stay there and she’ll be back. hes kind of confused and worried, so he follows her from a distance.

she follows the grunts into a cave/grotto/area. yep, here they are abusing some poor purrloins or something, trying to get something that ghetsis claims he needs. she has her stountland right beside her and angrily questions what they think theyre doing. 

when they snarkily and confidently answer that they do whatever they want, she asks why theyre even a part of team plasma at all if theyre gonna treat pokemon like this. she tells them to go join team rocket if theyre looking for business like that. N is outside listening to all of this

they say something like “You think this about money?” and she asks what else and they answer “This is about power. We don’t give a damn about freeing pokemon for justice! When all the pokemon are gone plasma will reign supreme!!” 

she clutches her pokeball. shes pissed. not just because, these fuckers got issues, but because they are deliberatly. disobeying N, and everything he stands for. so she tells them to get out of there before they end up regretting it. they laugh and tell her they dont even listen to their own King, why would they listen to her.

(white is a huge badass by the way. shes the more hardcore and probably coolest protag)

then N steps in and they. fall silent. and they are terrified. the stutter and stammer about how it was all a misunderstanding, and it wasnt their fault, and they didnt mean it, and every excuse they could come up with but N. is kind of like leaf in this sense because he is. angry. but his anger comes off cold and heartless and man he is cool.

so they, because they know theyre screwed already, decide that they wont take this shit anymore and challenge them to a fight. figure if they manage to beat N, maybe they could rule plasma instead. (this is my excuse to get N and White to double battle) and they rock. theyre the perfect tag team. truely the two sides of the same coin

when theyre defeated. N forces them to release their pokemon and they run away, never to show their faces to plasma again. They stand there in silence for a while, and N asks “Why did you tell me not to stay there?”

shes quiet for a while before answering “Because…you believe in what you do” and “I didn’t want you to see the worst of what was going on.” 

he thanks her for her concern, and tells her not to think like that, because now he finally sees what shes been trying to tell him about plasma, and maybe he can do something about it now that he knows. ignorance is never bliss, he adds, and she knows hes right. she just didnt want him to be hurt, she thinks

she asks what hes going to do, and he answers he’d try to weed out whatever corruption was in plasma. he hopes what the grunts say wasnt true, and that this was just a small mutiny, not rooting from the very top.

FYI SHES NOT SUPPORTING PLASMA at this point she still hates plasmas ass for doing what they do, but shes seen now the way some trainers treat their pokemon (in and out of plasma) and she thinks that if this cause was done right, it would help the world a lot

unfortunaly N is a fool lol and wants to liberate ALLLL THE DAMN POKEMON. 

ofc after this. ghetsis goes and. poisons his mind again with how shes a fool and shes trying to manipulate you and why would you doubt your own father. and right after this N. becomes the hero of ideals and they become worse enemies than theyve ever been. she becomes the hero of truth and he smiles because suddenly. everything makes sense. why hes always so happy to be around her. why it feels like she completes him despite all their differences and he. loves her he just doesnt know it 

and she knows for a fact that ghetsis is behind all of this but because N is the king, she has to go through him first. 

and she really cares for N. she actually ends up realising after he leaves that yeah, she pretty much loved him. and she hates his ass for leaving. so she goes to chase him down because cheesy as it is, these two are literally soulmates. they both acknowledge that meeting and growing with the other has made them better and stronger people and white refuses to let that go.

(i love their story and dynamic)

i dont have a set reuniting scene for them yet, the only one i have is.,.,. a part of that other story im lowkey working on..,.,. but she slaps him thats for sure LOL. hes like a puppy hes so happy to see her again hes like “White!!” and shes. PISSED. she has tears in her eyes and CATCH THESE HANDS. leaf and green are probably there and theyre like WHOA WHAT

green actually relates to white bc of this bc yeah, i waited for like 3 years for the love of my life too

[viewofsal]

Goodbye 2017. I’m ready for 2018 adventures.

2017 has been a year filled with laughter, smiles, tears, anger, anxiety, lessons, blessings, experiences and fun adventures. It was a year to let go of people, to let new people in, to be strong when I felt weak, to fight for myself against life and most importantly to find myself in all of this craziness.

I fell in love, I got my heart broken. I trusted someone with my eyes closed, which is rare because I dont trust a lot of people. I wanted to marry this guy, he was the dream guy I wanted. I did everything I can to save a relationship from falling, but it was never suppose to be this hard. We fought, we argued. we loved each other at times, we didnt talk for days… and then it finally ended. (71517)

I fought against my health, I went to therapy. It was probably one of the most scariest thing I have ever been through… I never felt so lonely even though I was surrounded by so many people that loved me and cared for me,  yet I still felt alone. I dont know why… But it all went well and I am much better.

I had trusted a few good friends who at the end fucked me over big time. Shabina was like my best friend and the little sister I never had. And looking back at it… I realized how can she be that, as in my bff and little sister when she was actually never there for me through anything. I will never forget the day that I was telling her about my break up the of day it was happening and she rolled her eyes. After that day I didnt talk to her and I wanted to be left alone. But she texted me before my trip to Atlanta- she literally said forgive and forget and move on. So I did. Because thats what the nice Salia does…. But then after the whole Haroon + Salia thing happened she became bitter- and she asked me if I was just “having fun with him?” Like yeah hell ya I was… but shit on the first meet you dont tell someone “hey so when are we getting married…?” NO. This is why you and that lawyer guy never made it. But anyways….. Telling her was the biggest mistake ever, because she put nazaar on me and potentially having something. It is what is. And yes I am a horrible person for calling her a bitch while arguing- but she was being one. I had to tell her to stop. I remember I had a stop at San Fran on the way back from Arizona and she just accused me of being a hoe. And I had it… like yo at least I dont meet guys off of minder and on the first hour hook up. BUT TO EACH TO THEIR FUCKING OWN, right? If we want to call people hoes. *eye roll* Anyways that was me ranting but I learned that not every “friend” is your friend. And keep your moves, your business and your love life on the low. Period. Because at the end of the day you really have your own back, no one else really does. And no one wants to see you succeed in life.

I got close to my family once again and spent the whole summer with all of my aunts, uncles, brother/sister in laws and cousins, and of course my little cutie pies. I attended over 9 weddings in the summer, including both of my cousins. All of my cousins live in the East Coast and whenever we are all together it is so fun! I miss them so much!

My skin cleared soooooo much MASHALLAH! That it literally shocks me every time I look into the mirror. I had to cut off coke out of my life, I was so addicted to it and I just had to drink it with every meal. But Im glad I get to still drink coffee. :D I broke out so much back in 2015-2016 and it had to do with my stalker and a lot of stress on my mind and hormones jumping around lol. But you always have to take care of yourself and make sure youre always healthy. You should be your number one priority, ALWAYS.

I met a guy named Haroon. He came to see me all the way from Virginia. No, I didn’t fall in love- and I didnt think about marriage while being with this guy. I wasn’t messing around. But life threw something tough at me which made me come back to reality… So I lowered my expectations but not my standards with Haroon. We were I guess “perfect”. Our humor, our mentality, he was accepting and so was I. He was down to come see me every month and he opened up to me and made me trust him back with my life. He went back, and feelings changed. Even if it was temporary it felt good be treated like how I should be treated. I guess it was God’s way of making me realize that just because I’m sad right now doesnt mean I always will be. It was a trial and error, and it failed. But there is someone meant for everyone and you will too one day find someone.

My sister graduated from law school and found her boo thang. I am so happy for my sister, she is so hard working, ambitious, dedicated, intelligent, witty, sarcastic and a hot ass lawyer. Lol. Im being bias, but if she wasnt my sister I would still say that. She went through hell and back with law school, family drama and idiotic boys that cant fight for someone. But she never gave up her dream- which was to finish law school and become a lawyer. Along with her life being so hectic and all she found someone that matches her perfectly, alhumdulillah. I am so happy for her and Beez (thats not his name… Thats my nick name for him). He is so like… words cant describe. He came to pick my family and I up, he hugged my parents, he calls my mom “mama”, he gets along with my brother, he makes fun of me for being a yelp nerd. He just respects us so much. I am so proud of you too Badr bhai, for graduating and inshallah being part of our crazy ass family. But…. I have to say they are like power couple goals, mA! He spoils her like crazy and its cute. I wish one day we all find “the one” and spoil them with our love. *Did I mention hes half Spanish + Pakistani…. HOLY HELL. His sisters are hot. Lol*

And to end it… I got the closure that I was wanting to get. Thank you Farhan for giving me closure over and over again. Im sorry you had to hear me cry, because I think Ill probably cry for a while but its going to be okay. I wish and pray that you have an amazing new year and whatever you pray for you get. Because you deserve the best and you deserve to smile, laugh and be treated like a king.

But does that mean Im ok? No. But will it take time? Yes. I pray that I heal so quick that I can feel again, I wont be bitter, I wont be afraid to let someone in. I just want to be Salia again. Thats all.

2018-

Im ready for a new year, new hellos, new smiles, new laugher, new people, new adventures, new beginnings, new everything. I am ready. I definitely want to work on a few things on myself. I am not a perfect soul in this world. I hate that I have such horrible anger issues, I get mad easily to the point where I want to cry. I want to be my number one fan always. I want to love myself like no one else is going too because no one is going too… jk! And to heal. All I really want is to heal and be the old me. I want to stop crying al the time.To love again, to feel again, I dont want to be numb anymore, or bitter when a guy talks to me… I just want to be soft and gentle. But It will take time.

I hope this year not only brings me happiness and joy but to all of my followers. The more I write and have people follow me I see that everyone is struggling, heart broken, happy yet sad. I see it all. I am healing too but I am always here to listen to anyone. Ive been blogging since I was 18 and Im so glad I became a tumblr nerd because I met a few people from here, ive had a few conversations and I learn about my followers all the time. You guys deserve all the happiness, all the smiles and success in the world. Thanks for always listening to my rants and posts. Love you all! I hope you guys have an amazing New Year!

XOXO,

SALIA SHEIKH.

[spaceslouie]

1. I just recently following your blog. And I find that we have same opinion for the most part, or from your tags anyway. This by no means that you’d agree with me but can I share my opinion with you. Like I think that so many people have been too critical about his solo works. We really dont know anything. I feel like, Louis have been so appreciative about the opportunity he got, but it looks like we as fan cant even give him a chance. What if he make do with what he got. What if all this was..

2. the only thing on his hand. He said it himself, limited people to work with. Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it. Its reality. That doesnt mean Louis dont deserve it. And people tend to forget, what you find rewarding could

3. be different from others. We want the best for him, and thats just it.. Why does it needs to be by the other 1D guys standard. I’m really emotional talking about Louis. Like, I want to respect what he do. I dont know the struggle he faced. This is the guy who hates their merch, their early music. I feel like the fandom so quick to talk but rarely listen. I dont claimed to know him, but I feel that Hes grateful for this opportunity. And I take my cue from him for the life HE live. thankyou :)

wow i . . got an ask! sorry it took me a while to answer this babe (depending on when u sent it) i dont come on this blog alot, i kinda just made a tumblr as an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations and to have a place to talk about louis lol

anyways i think we do have pretty similar feelings about the way things are going - mostly mine are just summed up by ‘idk what to think but i love louis and his music’ lol 

To be real tho, i’ve been a 1D fan since i was 12, in 2011, and i was a larrie from like 2012 to pretty much a few months ago (not that im an ‘anti’ now or anything, i just dont kno what to think). For most of my time as a 1D fan (and especially a larrie) the culture w/ us has been, for better or worse, to hyper-analyze and doubt (for lack of better words) everything we’re given and told. Tbh, since i changed my perspective a few months ago (mostly bc of solo!harry), ive pretty much just been constantly reevaluating everything ive known for the past 5/6 years and i really just have pretty much NO idea what to think, whatsoever. 

When it comes to solo!louis, ive just been trying to take it as it comes. key word is trying, bc 5/6 years of having a rock-solid idea of the “”truth”” (our ideas about the boys, management, their relationships, etc) is alot to overcome when u try to be objective. 

When u say that ppl have been too critical of louis and his stuff, im not really sure which ppl u mean or if u just mean in general - ive definitely seen some ppl who seem to be critical just for the sake of it, or bc they actually dont like louis, which, ya, thats definitely too critical. But for some of the ppl being critical, it seems like theyre coming from the same place i was before i changed my perspective - if i hadnt been so put-off by solo!harry, i probly would still be just as dedicated to the fandom “”truth”” and i would be critical of solo!louis like i was/we were of everything else. 

Basically, at this point, i think its just habit for alot of ppl to be critical and cynical. Or, even more, its generally more comfortable (especially when weve been telling ourselves for 5+ years that we know the “truth”) to be critical (in an all-knowing way like when ppl say “those stunts are so transparent” or something) than to admit that theres alot we dont kno. Or to admit that louis hasnt had the opportunities we thought he would have/we think he deserves, and theres not really anything to do about it.

Are they right to be critical? I honestly totally dont kno. But basically im done being critical just bc other ppl are - if something strikes me as wrong and worth being critical of, right off the bat, then ill criticize it. But if everything seems ok to me and i have no reservations and i see someone else complaining and making a big deal about it, i guess thats how i decide when someone is being too critical. Thats when it seems to me like theyre being critical just for the sake of it or bc thats what theyre used to. I think its important in our culture (1D fan/louie culture), at least for me in the place im in now, to just trust ur own instinct instead of looking to others to see if things are good or not.

At first i was a little confused by ur ask(s) bc it seems a little contradictory - u talk about how louis didnt get the best opportunities, and then u say ppl are being too critical. But i think i understand (maybe im projecting tho, bc this is how i feel about it). I think what i (and u, if im understanding ur ask rite) am feeling is that ppl want to place blame - we all want the best for louis, and we’re upset that it doesnt seem that he got it. We all love and appreciate louis, so it can be hard to see how other ppl wouldnt and how he wouldnt get all the opportunities we think he deserves. So we go off on his team, simon cowell, his record label, the other boys, etc., and we criticize them and everything louis puts out bc its through them/connected to them. 

But it really all comes down to the fact that regardless of what we think louis deserves, we all know that what he gets probly wont match up to that. Youre rite, he literally said that he didnt get that many opportunities, and we have to accept that. No matter how much we love and admire him, we have to realize that for various reasons the rest of the world doesnt (at least not yet). He wasnt the most famous member of 1D, or the one pushed as the most talented, and the fact that he has a unique voice makes him kindof an acquired taste. 

We have to realize that he is, like u said, doing the best w what hes got. We dont have the power to give him more, so from my perspective im just enjoying what we get and supporting it in every way i possibly can. Bc thats what being a fan is about - enjoying what u get, and supporting it so u continue to get it. We can wish he had more opportunities available, and even ask for what we want from him in polite and lighthearted ways - like tweeting him about his album, or nominating him for awards (like teen choice and stuff), or posting/tweeting about how we wish we had a video/photoshoot/etc as long as its nice and not demanding. But ya basically we are not in a position to give him opportunities so our only job (if we want it, which, being a louie, i do) is to support what he puts out. 

You said: “Like, maybe the 5 of them dont get the same offers? I dont find it weird that H got the amount of support he got, and Louis got minimum exposure. If we can see it in a professional way, the party that did the offering have their reasons. Sometimes you dont get what you want no matter how hard you work for it.” Basically, i totally agree w this and i think its totally ok to just enjoy what we get from louis w/o constantly worrying about how were getting it/what we ‘should’ be getting.

I am frustrated, and always have been, that louis doesnt get what the other boys do, but thats just the way it is. We have to accept that there isnt always someone to blame - for various reasons, louis has had less opportunities than the other boys, and theres nothing we can do about it. I would even go as far to say its not necesarily an injustice - like u said, he isnt the other boys, so we cant expect him to have the same situation as them. All we can do is support him and his music as much as we can/want to. 

anyway im SO sorry for turning this ask into a literal essay, i guess i had a lot to say and honestly im not sure how much of it is coherent or even on topic, it took me like an actual hour to write this all out and when i reread it… it didnt make as much sense as it did in my head lol. anyway i do think we hav some similar feelings and stuff and i really apreciate hearing ur thoughts! I hope we both get to enjoy bty (im so fuckin excited!!! from the teasers hes shared already its gonna be SO GOOD!!!) and i hope more good things happen for louis! tysm for sharing ur thoughts w me! 💙 

[weareallfallengods]

Reposting because I'm a disaster and don't know how to pin posts.

Survival

Inspiration: If you’re over 25 and haven’t done something remarkable, you are hunted down and killed. Some people invent things. Some make cures for diseases. Others become established members of their community. You’re pushing 30, and somehow not dead yet, even though you cant think of a single thing you’ve done thats remarkable in any way. Why aren’t you dead?

I write for adults about adult themes with adult language. I try to tag possible triggers (but I know I'm not going to get all of them), so if violence or implied death or cussing bothers you, you'll probably want to find a different author.

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Somehow, that date came up again. Not quite sure how, but somehow, the number circled on my shitty wall calendar with the coffee splatter on it managed to be today. Again. It's been doing that for 5 years now.

At first I wanted to be a surgeon- save people's lives, make a difference, all that shit. Yeah, I was caught up in the hype for a while too. Just like everyone. Thought I'd make some ground-breaking discovery and change the world. Just like everyone. And then, at 22, I flunked out of med school. That was it. Dream over, kaput, fin.

When I opened my termination letter, it was like reading a death sentence. 10 years of prep and study down the drain. 3 years left. 3 years, and no idea what to do. No clue what I could do to save my own life after all those years learning how to save others.I drank for a solid month. I dont even remember that month now. My only memento from it is an entire skip of liquor bottles. It's a miracle I didn't die from alcohol poisoning. Not that I didn't try.

See, I was afraid. Scared, actually. Terrified would be more accurate, if I'm honest. I knew I only had 3 years left until they came for me. Unless I managed to do something extraordinary within the next 3 years, they'd come for me, and the only thing that would remain is a 2 paragraph obituary in the local paper, followed by a vacancy announcement. When you're suddenly forced to confront your own imminent demise, and see every dream, hope and aspiration you'd had evaporate, right in front of your eyes, its perfectly natural to drown that in a swimming pool of vodka.

But then, after a month of drowning, and a week of curing a hangover that would make Satan shudder, I got angry. Like Bruce Banner angry. As I was leaving an all night diner, the notice board caught my eye. Having nothing better to do with my life, I stood there for a while just reading every single card in detail, every single lost cat, every used car, every 5k charity run. And then I saw it. And I thought, "You know what? Fuck it, why not. I've spent all this time trying to do one thing that I've never actually done just whatever I feel like, had hobbies, anything really. Why the fuck not."

And that's how I ended up 2 days later in some shity warehouse district, rolling around on a mat with some dude I didnt even know, sweating and swearing profusely and having the time of my life. "Sasha's Self Defense" it said on the small, weathered and rusted sign on the brick wall out front, next to a door that looked like it had been transported straight from the proverbial gulag.

I'd naively thought this was going to be one of those Karate Kid knock offs for some reason when I first arrived. Sasha soon disabused me of that notion. In fact, when he saw I'd brought a new gi in a duffle bag, he laughed so hard he had to slap his ass down on a rickety folding chair just to keep breathing. Once he calmed his mirth at my expense, he let me know in a no-nonsense, 'I'm an old-timer and seen some shit in my day' heavily accented tone that this would be a class that focused on survival at all costs. "No bullshit wax on-wax off," were his exact words I believe.

And boy was he right. When I told him I'd set aside my year's tuition for lesson payments, well, wouldn't you know it, I became his most prized pupil; I quickly learned this was not a good thing. It meant 14 hours a day of the most humiliatingly punishing activity ever dreamed up by Moscow's Finest. I couldnt even move the morning after my first day. But somehow I limped my battered frame down to the bus stop and was only an hour late. Ha, only. Sasha seemed to take it as a personal insult. The only thing he hated less than sloppiness was tardiness it seemed. Apparently the 10th Circle of Hell was reserved for those who dared be late. And he made you earn your way out of that circle.

His only saving grace was fairness. If I had to suffer, at least I wasnt alone. Well, at first anyway. The few other students that suffered his wrath along side me doing slavic folk dances with wrist and ankle weights very quickly learned that this wasn't the type of class they had thought it was and soon I was alone with Sasha.

On the days I did well, I got treated to pierogies. Oh man, I lived for those pierogies. They were made by angels and served by someone I can only describe as if Jesus came back as a woman. Who was Russian. And spoke even less english than Sasha, if that was possible. His sister was as completely opposite to that sadistic maniac as it was possible to be and still be a human being. Where he was loud, she was soft. Where he was tough, she was gentle. Where he was strict, she was generous, even indulgent. Blonde to his brunette. Slim to his barrel chest. Cousin by marriage, I think they said. Well, relatives of some kind anyway. And she was the only one who could make him laugh. And when he laughed, the whole block knew! He was just that loud, that boisterous, with everything he did.

But I loved his little Anya. Just like everyone. But like in a wholesome, mom-ish kind of way. I loved her because I got to sit for an hour when she was around. Because she"d always tuck a to-go container of pierogies into my bag. Because she'd chide Sasha for pushing me too hard. In short, she was an angel.

But I have to hand it Sasha- in 4 months, he took a scrawny bookworm into someone who could pose for Men's Health. In 6 months, I could beat Ivan, his partner, in 5/10 sparring matches. In 7 months, I ran a marathon. In 9, he had me enter a triathalon. And I made it into the top 50 out of 500 entrants. Not too bad if I say so myself. In 12 months, I was beating Ivan almost every time.

And that's when the other Ivan showed up. After a year, Sasha decided it was time I learned weaponry. After all, no real fight was fair, he said. And Ivan (another cousin? Sasha had one heck of an extended family) instructed me on everything from broken beer bottles, to knives and pool cues. And my medical training paid off, because more often than not, I was the one stitching myself up if training got a little rough that day.

Eventually, I moved into the gym. Not sure how it happened, but I think I just got too tired to leave one day and never really left. Sasha didnt seem to mind since it meant I wasnt ever late again. Plus the coffee he imported was the best thing ever. Like it was so good that's probably the Extraordinary Thing he did to live as long as he had.

The days just melted together, into one long symphony of beautiful exhaustion and physical torment, as I poured myself into the first activity I could remember doing purely because I wanted to, something that numbed the dread of the finality of my life expectancy.

But then one day, one specific day, the one I'd been dreading in the back of my mind for a year came around.

They found me.

I guess they were a little slow in finding me, not surprising since I'd basically just disappeared from my old life, no forwarding address type thing. It wasnt intentional, it just sort of happened, what with me diving head first into something purely for me, without the thought of doing it for someone else. But they found me. Just like they find everybody.

See, it doesnt matter if you try to run, if you move, or change your name. They always find you eventually. I just hadn't thought about it in a long while. That year was the first time since I was probably 14 that I'm hadn't thought about the Gardeners. I guess that's why it surprised me so much.

Yeah, Gardeners. I dont know who came up with the name, in guess some misguided attempt at a positive PR spin bullshit to pass off squads of government assassins who's only job was to track down the NCs of the world and eliminate them. Sorry, NCs- Non-Contributors; the people who hit their expiration date without doing something noteworthy, something that was deemed to "advance or bolster the Human Condition" to borrow a phrase from the civics classes we had to take every fucking year of school. A cutesy sounding name that was supposed to make the government sound like a benevolent old couple pulling weeds from their garden of humanity. The worst lies always sound the sweetest, dont they?

And I was now 25.

It happened a few weeks after my birthday. Just another routine day for me, going for a light 5k run after my soak in a mineral bath. Light rain, most of the streetlights out, the few lights on in the warehouse district reflected beautifully off the streets. That's why I ran at night, all the colors changed that normally bleak neighborhood into something beautiful. It was just one little thing to balance out the harshness of reality, and I reveled in it.

I don't actually remember what happened exactly. I do recall seeing a suspiciously conspicuous homeless guy huddled under a loading dock awning, and then just a flash of movement from the corner of my eye. I think it happened really quickly; at least that's what Sasha said the next morning as he was making arrangements for me to visit another cousin of his "back in the old country". It could have been. God, after seeing the bodies around me in the aftermath, I hope, for their sake, that it was fast. 5 bodies. All still. I still remember my breath turning to blue fog, blurring the details of them. Helping me to be able to pretend I didn't see the blood mixing with the rain and oil, spreading out over the concrete like a macabre inversion of the cloudy sky above.

I'm glad they wore masks. It's bad enough having that scene burned into my brain forever, without specific people's faces being etched there as well. I'm glad I dont see their faces in my mind every time I close my eyes. I just wish I could still enjoy the rain. They managed to take that from me, even if I'm still breathing, so I guess they didnt completely fail. They just killed a part of my soul instead. But hey, there's plenty of people that don't like the rain, right? But I bet they don't smell blood when it does though.

And that was pretty much it. No sirens, no manhunt, nothing. Before I could process what was happening, I was on a bus, headed for "the old country", which, as near as I could tell, looked an awful lot like Pittsburg. Sasha's 'cousin' met me at the bus depot there, a man of very few words. Not as loud as his cousin, Zhena tended to communicate with looks, grunts and shrugs mostly. Same work ethic though.

And then the cycle repeated- 14 months this time before they caught up with me. Too bad that Zhena got caught up in it, he was a great guy. He and I didn't really become close or buddies or anything, but it still hurt to see what happened to him. To what was left of him anyway. The Gardeners definitely were trying to send a message with that. To quote an old wise man, "I didnt want to know, but now I do, and I'm telling you, you dont want to know." And that's coming from someone who was training to become a surgeon, so just trust me on this one.

This time, they were waiting for me. I think they'd planned on Zhena being enough of a distraction that they'd be able to take me out easily, but since since I woke up the next day on the floor of the sparring ring in a too large pool of blood that wasnt my own, I'd say they failed. The difference this time was I was on my own. No 'cousins' to call in favors from. No family I could call because I didnt want them getting a visit from the Gardeners either. I was alone this time.

Weirdly, I was actually OK with that. I'd been surrounded by family, teachers, advisors, tutors for so long that solitude was actually kind of nice. I could hear myself think my own thoughts for the first time in what seemed like forever.

I'm not ashamed to say that I took what little of value there was from Zhena's gym (I knew him well enough to know that Sasha was his only family) so that I could get a seedy hotel for a while. I did at least have the decency to let Sasha know, and that that would be the last he ever heard from me, to keep him out of trouble. Bad enough that 10 people were already dead, I didn't want Sasha or Anya's name added to that list because of me.

And so I vanished. Completely. Sure I travelled, kept studying and training like I had been, but never staying longer than a few months, never using the same name, copying other random people's habits and patterns so I didnt have one of my own for them to track down. Yeah it was cliche, but hey, I figured my dad watching all those spy flicks when I was young had to be good for something, right?

Sometimes I was a baker, sometimes a delivery driver, even a dock hand. Whatever it took to make a buck so I could eat.

I got really good at other things too. Like disposing of bodies. Not really a skill I ever thought I'd want or need, but Necessity is a harsh and demanding teacher. Sadly, my skill as a surgeon came in handy- bodies are easier to get rid of when they're in smaller pieces. And people are easier to turn into bodies when you know how they're put together intimately. Not what I had in mind for my life, but since it was the choice between this or dying, well, I guess I can put up with it.

I suppose that catches us all up to the present, more or less. OK yeah theres a lot that's gone down between Pittsburg and now, but it was all pretty much the same: lather, rinse, repeat. Literally sometimes. Those were the days it felt like there wasnt enough soap in the world to get all the blood off.

So here I am, I'm my single room in Kandahar, staring at the date that had somehow come up again. Every year, they send someone. Usually a team. And I survive. No matter how they come at me, or when or how many. I survive.

And I'm sitting here, staring at the calendar, steaming cup of espresso, just staring, as a light breeze fluttered the corner of the calendar page, sending the orchids dancing in the vase next to it. All I could think is, "How? How does this keep happening? I'm not even supposed to be here, not supposed to be alive."

As I raised my cup of espresso, something slid under my door. "OK that's weird," I said aloud as I stood.

The chair made an ungodly screech as I pushed it back and made my way over to where a small, cream colored envelope sat on the floor, a couple inches from the bottom of the door. It was heavy for it's size, but not because anything was in it, just the paper was that thick. Probably hand-made. It's odd the little things you notice in times of stress. Heavy, rough paper, no postmark, nothing written on the outside, just the flap tucked in, not even sealed. Reminded me of how my mother used to give out birthday cards. I always thought that was a little weird, but it was just one of her quirks that made her even more endearing to everyone.

I sat down a little heavier than I had planned and felt the chair crack a little. There was a single sheet of paper inside, folded in half; I was right- handmade paper. But that wasnt important, what was important was the heavy, blocky hand-written message it contained.

"We've been looking for you for a long time. It has come to my attention that you may have something unique to contribute after all. We may have been too hasty in judging your Ability to be a Contributor. I believe you do actually have a remarkable Ability to Survive. I'd like to speak to you this afternoon in the plaza outside the Blue Mosque. I will be alone, and you can approach me, so as to allay your justifiable suspicions. I will have a silver coffee set on the table in front of me.

I believe we can help each other, if you're willing to listen to my proposition.

-Soon,

Baddar"

Well, this is interesting.