#like soo many things about my perception of and sympathy for certain characters changed

[formashimataichi]

yes i agree that Chihaya will not think about answering aratas confession right away but i don’t understand how sensei will give us a sastifactory friendship end when both boys love chihaya and even though Taichi said his feelings were fading, that was a lie as seen with his actions like telling Sumire to invite Chihaya out. his story is very heavy on his love for chihaya. if she did not want chihaya to pick anyone then why is she dragging this out? it’s very baity to me and my most disliked thing about her writing cause it feels like she is teasing us readers who care about the romance side..alot of readers are going to be left disappointed if she actually goes for a cop-out friend end

The thing is, though, can a romance be called bait if the main character herself isn’t invested in it? The primary difference between the love triangle in Chihayafuru and the love triangles in most mainstream shoujo is the fact that they’re employed for completely different reasons. A love triangle in a shoujo series typically involves the female main character agonizing over which one of the two love interests she should choose, because the story is usually about her reaching self fulfillment through her relationship with one boy or the other, never both. In Chihayafuru, we don’t see anything like that reflected in Chihaya’s behavior—she’s certainly overwhelmed by the boys’ confessions, but there’s never a moment where it actively feels like she’s trying to choose one of them over the other, at least with regards to romance. To sort out the romantic conflict among Taichi and Arata as it pertains to herself has never been a priority in the story for her, ever, because she doesn’t need to be in a relationship with either of them to feel “self-fulfilled”. That’s something she looks for in karuta, in her friendships, and in what she wants to do with the rest of her life. And I think that’s really hard for a lot of readers to grasp, because they’re so used to shoujo (and josei) protagonists in the mainstream being defined primarily by their romances, and their independence as women coming second (although this isn’t to say that all shoujo protagonists are like this, just that a lot who are popular certainly are). 

Of course, this all begs the question: why, then, are Taichi and Arata’s feelings for Chihaya important, if nothing is allegedly going to come of them by way of securing a relationship with her? And that comes back to something I’ve said a few times before, wherein we can’t always view romance as an object to be reached for—sometimes it’s just something we happen to grow through, like a narrative device as opposed to a narrative goal. I definitely agree a huge focal point of Taichi’s arc is his love for Chihaya, but I think that’s because he has to figure out how he can love her while being able to love himself first (and the same can apply to his relationship with Arata). A lot of his issues are tied down to how he continues to push himself for the sake of others even though he himself isn’t invested in what he’s doing, and that in turn circles back to one of the most important messages of the manga as a whole: you can’t build your dreams on the backs of others. Taichi can’t sustain his relationship with karuta solely through what he feels for Chihaya or Arata; he has to be able to love and play the game for himself, to have purpose unique to himself in order to survive and thrive, to then be able to wholeheartedly support the people around him. It’s a slightly different but ultimately similar case with Arata, as well. His relationship with karuta is buoyed by what his grandfather, and then Chihaya and Taichi, made it into for him. He’s overwhelmingly shackled to these safe zones over the course of the narrative, and it’s why we’ve finally started to see him crumble and lose resolve, because his investment in the game isn’t entirely his own. Arata also has to realize that he can’t rely on the feelings he has for Chihaya and Taichi in order to sustain the love that he has for the game. At some point, he has to find and believe in his own pursuits, and to forge a path for himself without relying on anyone else’s safety net or influence. 

The ultimate message of comfort that Chihayafuru delivers, in my opinion, is one of being selfish in order to be selfless. Team matches are solo matches. Solo matches are team matches. You have to be completely invested in your own dreams and devote time to loving yourself before you can love and support anyone else. You have to trust the people around you to fight their own battles while you’re fighting yours. I think that’s something Chihaya has achieved, which to me is what sets her up to ultimately win; Taichi and Arata aren’t quite there yet, but they’re both very close, Taichi especially. And I don’t say all of this to mean that the boys’ feelings for Chihaya are worthless, or that they’ll disappear. On the contrary, I think they’re both always going to love her in some capacity. But the purpose of their romantic arcs, to me, is to reach a point where they can hold their feelings for her (and their feelings for each other, to be honest) and their own purpose in balance. I don’t think Taichi says his feelings are fading away because he’s falling out of love with her. I think he just means he’s moving on from fixating on winning her heart, because he realizes there’s more to his own self-fulfillment than waiting for her forever. Before it’s our purpose in life to belong to someone else, I think it’s our purpose to belong to ourselves. To love ourselves wholeheartedly. To believe in our dreams. That’s what sets us up to love the people around us in earnest.