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#like some bad things to happen to them too but until the end of the movie there's nothing like it
inkskinned · 3 days
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i was raised by a catholic deacon so as a kid - maybe ages 7 to 14 - i would have told you that abortion was only okay in exception cases like rape. i didn't even really understand any of the terms at play here, only how to parrot that there were "few and far between" exceptions, but abortion-as-a-whole was irresponsible and evil. i believed it was a bad form of birth control.
for context's sake - i still had a flip phone. google wasn't really a thing back then. the whole narrative was akin to the apostle's creed: i don't know that i ever thought about what the words meant, only that this was what i was supposed to say when asked. i remember being in 4th grade and having it down pat - abortion is evil, except in cases such as rape. my father wasn't insensitive, after all - he acknowledged there might be medical necessity to end a life.
what changed was that at 14 i learned how hard it is to prove that a rape has happened.
it was a boy, actually. and his piano teacher. and him telling me, crying, that nobody believed him that he didn't want it. and what if she gets pregnant?
this is the mark in a lot of our lives: at some point, someone will confide in you, and then you see exactly how often it happens. how it happens so fucking loudly, and nobody says anything. how often your friends, nervous, will shakily admit that while they love their partner, there are a few times that they didn't really consent, that they didn't really want it. for others, there are nights half-remembered in bars. for others, they married their partner at 15, so now it's "fine", legally. for others, there are yes moments that felt like a no. there were no moments that were never acknowledged. you say no but are told you actually said yes because of what you were wearing or because he is good at swimming and his life would be ruined or because he's a nice guy or -
in the last 8 years, my father has become radicalized. he now believes in "no exceptions".
but the truth is that there was never going to be a true "exception" clause. there was never going to be a grey area. i am not even really sure they believe in the concept of rape. and if they did - how would you ever prove it? in the six weeks you have to state your case - when it takes years in a court of law - the "rape exception" would simply evaporate under the continued pregnancy. you were never going to have a moment where you could privately tell a doctor - it's because of a rape. there was no box you could check. there was no form you could file. it was always going to be assumed consensual until proven malignant. it was always going to be your fault.
they also knew they couldn't actually sell the rest of us on this idea of it's always blessed. they knew in their hearts that every pregnancy should be wanted. they knew going in that plenty of us - even raised catholic, even having had this shoved down our throats - plenty of us still had too many questions about what ifs.
it's just they just didn't want to come off as monsters. they patted our heads and taught us they weren't insensitive. they just had these beliefs. and then they put their hands on our bodies. and said if you don't listen, i'm going to force them.
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mayxxday · 1 day
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BIKER! BAKUGO 👹👹 i love him sm omg ibcnat breathe
Implied nsfw (please reader only if you're comfortable)
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Katsuki was only ever protective of two girls in his life. His darling girlfriend and the other being his beloved motorcycle. While anyone would have laughed in his face for caring so dearly for his bike, he wouldn't have held back his threats to run them over with his motorbike.
Go on long rides with his girlfriend, picking her up, and dropping her off for even the smallest chores. Her arms wrapped around his waist; maybe she would like it better on his chest. He should buy her a helmet too; this was just as much hers as it was his. Zooming through the night roads until they find some empty streets. Maybe he would lift her on to the fuel tank, making out shamelessly. Fuck, he loved her tongue. And maybe he could even bend her over the…
The damn bike was his dream bike, everything he ever wanted. When he first got it as a gift for his 20th birthday, Mitsuki swore she heard the boy sniffle a little, which although an exaggeration wasn't too off from what he felt that day. Katsuki was elated, beyond the ninth cloud, if you will. He still remembers that night he fell asleep daydreaming about all the things he was going to do with the bike.
So yeah, he rushed to the shower to cool off quickly before he would lose sleep completely over this. Katsuki quickly aced his driving test and earned himself his driving license. There was no stopping him after.
The boy swore to himself that on every single one of his girl's grocery runs he would tag along, driving her back and forth, carrying all her bags for her. He just couldn't get enough of it. Spoiling his girl and riding his bike at the time, he was the luckiest damn man in his head.
He wasn't sure it was so much about the bike anymore but all the little things that came with it. The little kisses he stole, tucking her hair neatly away from her face before placing her pink helmet on her head firmly, pulling down her visor. The silly little dance he saw each time he picked her up from a long work day to find him outside waiting for her on his bike, saving her from the daily stress of commuting. The endless gossip she shared loudly over the wind he would cut through while he drove her back.
And of course, he would have her over every Sunday to see him shirtless scrubbing the grime off his bike. The first time she just happened to drop by to hang out with him when he was washing his baby, and he was delighted by how that day ended. Loads of heated sudsy kissing, her hands all over his bare chest, sucking on his bottom lip, just begging for his attention. Who was he to deny his pretty girl of himself? God, he needed her just as bad. Bending her over the bike, and off they go riding.
Katsuki loved his two girls, so seeing her bent over his priced possession like that, drooling slightly with the hazy look, he swore loudly, mentally thanking his parents for that damn bike.
Katsuki had earned a lot more than just a bike. So he might be biased when he said he loved his two girls because one was only there to serve her happiness.
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Thanks for all the asks!!! Love you guys! I hope you guys enjoyed it. <3
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wonderjanga · 3 days
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Revival
(I posted this on accident when I meant to put it in drafts, anyone who saw that, you didn’t)
Anyways , so Billy casually revives Mary and Freddy whenever they die in their marvel forms. (For this AU, let’s say they’re still super durable, but they’re less durable than Marvel) Like for example:
*Mary and Marvel are fighting a super strong monster. It swings one of its claws at the two, hitting the both of them. It gives Billy a scratch but Mary just dies.*
Marvel: *forgets about the monster immediately* “Oh my gods…” *looks down at her looking properly disturbed and uses tip of boot to move Mary onto her back to see if she’s really, really dead.* “That’s… a nasty one.” *Bends down and fixes her face and wounds up with magic.* He’s revived them before but seeing them die never ceases to scare him. What if he can’t save them the next time?
Mary: *alive but unconscious*
Marvel: *picks her up and zips off to the Rock of Eternity* “Okay, Mary… I’m just gonna…” *Puts her down on the floor and runs around the rock finding blankets upon blankets and a singular pillow. Puts them all on her and puts the pillow under her head.*
Mary: *wakes up slightly and tries to sit up* “Billy, what happened?”
Marvel: “You uh… got knocked out.” *Pushes her back down so she can lay back down* He hasn’t told either of them that nine times out of ten, whenever they get knocked out, they die. It causes a major argument when they find out. “Just go back to sleep, Mary. I’ll take care of the monster.” If anyone saw this, they would truly think he’s her dad.
Mary: “The monster’s still out there?” *already on the verge of going back to sleep*
Marvel: “Not for long.” *tucks her in extra tight and pats her head before flying back to Fawcett*
or
*JL are fighting some aliens. These aliens are actually a little harder than normal. Some of their weapons burned Billy such as the ray-guns. (Which looked awesome) After closer inspection, the ray-guns had some type of magic signature. (Is it bad he finds that even cooler?) Freddy’s also there. The ray-guns affect him more than Billy. He dies when the aliens use a particularly big gun when Billy’s too distracted to help him. He doesn’t even realize Freddy died (again) until all the fighting is over and he’s looking for him.*
Marvel: *Flying around, looking around for Freddy* “Junior! Junior, where’d you go?” *Sees Freddy just laying there and flies down, touching down on the ground* “Junio…” *trails off when he sees Freddy’s dead and walks over to the corpse*
Superman: *flies down and lands next to Marvel* “Cap, Hal’s asking if you want to go for drinks. Do I tell him you’re not going—” *covers mouth when he sees Freddy.*
Marvel: *kneels down in front of Freddy.* How long had he been like this? Could Billy even save him now? He’s so charred… *feels impending dread and nausea creeping up*
Superman: “I- Marvel- I’m so sorry…”
Marvel: *spiraling as he stares at Junior*
Batman: *appears from the shadows* “I know what it’s like to lose a child, Marvel.” *puts hand on Billy’s shoulder* “If you ever need to talk to someone…”
Marvel: *shrugs hand off and starts to try and heal Freddy* “I’m fine.” *keeps muttering that he’s fine and the whole situation is fine as he continues to heal Freddy.*
Batman and Superman: *staring at Marvel in pity*
Superman: “…Marvel?” *Walks up behind Billy* “Marvel. He’s not fine.”
Freddy: *healed, alive but unconscious*
Marvel: “Yes, he is.” *Picks Freddy up* “He’s perfectly fine. I uh- I gotta go.”
Superman: “Cap, wait!”
Marvel: *Zooms off the rock. Ended up doing the same thing he did with the blankets before with Mary to Freddy.*
The league are gobsmacked when they see Freddy talking to Billy as if they hadn’t heard from Supes and Bats that he died. Billy also found a few grey hairs when he detransformed.
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angelltheninth · 2 days
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Angstober Day 3 - Arcane Characters Dealing With Problems Badly
Pairing: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn Kiramman, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Vander, Jayce, Viktor, Mel x Reader
Tags: angst, fluff, comfort, getting into fights, working late, protectiveness, massage, fake smiles, lack of sleep
Angstober Day 3: Self-Destruction
Ko-Fi | Rules | Fandoms and Characters
A/N: Arcane S2 is approaching and with it my emotional breakdown.
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JINX
Bites her nails a lot out of nervousness
Relentlessly tinkers away at her desk, hardly even eating or drinking anything to make sure her body doesn't shut down
Talks with the people she sees but you don't and then tells you that she's fine because she's not alone, clearly she isn't fine, she doesn't want you to worry
Gets angry when you ask too many questions about her problems
Feels bad right after but there are just some things she's not ready to talk about, family things that she needs to sort out, but are free to stay by her side if it will make you feel better
VI
Pretends that there's nothing wrong
She learned in prison that showing any weakness if a bad thing so she tends to avoid it if she can
Hopes to distract you with kissing and flirting
Says that one of the best ways to get over things is a good fight so she seeks those out until she feels better
Of course this means that she comes back with a lot of bruises and maybe even a broken rib or two, but hey at least she got everything out of her system
CAITLYN
Obsesses over her problem to the point of losing sleep
Knows this is a problem for her but doesn't know how to fix it, she only knows how to fix other problems, and always before her own
Fell asleep at her office desk quite a few times
Doesn't even come home some nights but greets you down at the Enforcer HQ and gives you a kiss when you hand her the morning cup of coffee
Takes very short breaks to spend some time with you
EKKO
Includes you in solving most problems he needs to solve but doesn't give up until it's done
Takes a few unnecessary risks in the process
Risks his own safety, never someone else's, least of all yours
Call him stubborn if you must, he will admit that he is but everything he does is for a better future of you and all of his friends, for that no risk is too great
There's not a job dangerous enough to keep him away from it, he will try to keep you away, for your safety
SILCO
Can get a bit worked up when things don't end up going his way
Maintains a calm exterior when dealing with other people
In his job he needs to seem like he's in control of things even when he's not
Always tells you when he's gonna stay late so you don't worry that something happened to him, not realizing that you worry because these long nights have been getting more frequent
Finally has people who he can call h
SEVIKA
Good luck with trying to get her to open up with anything that's emotionally taxing on her
Blunt when she needs to threaten or insult but extremely slow when revealing her emotions
Would much rather drink, fight or fuck them away than give them a time of day
She's always been like this, you shouldn't expect her to change any time soon
Gets very guarded with her emotions if you try to prod at them, yet she's careful not to let her anger out on you, she likes you more than most people, you're fun
VANDER
Tries to avoid dragging you into his problems if he has anything to say about it
He knows you notice that he's more on guard, more careful when the bar is open, his eyes scanning the crowd for danger
Does tell you to keep your eyes open for anything suspicious but no more than that, he can deal with it when the time comes
Cracks a lot of jokes to make you feel better, safer
Promises that nothing will happen to you while he's still in charge, and he will keep it that way too
JAYCE
He's had to put on a fake smile more times than he can count, he can do it now too
Usually he's very honest with things that bother him, it's easy to open up to you
Yet this time he's closed off, working away on his blueprints, furiously writing things down in his notebook and even forgetting to eat the sandwiches he loves so much
A massage does help relax his pent up shoulders, he knows it's not good for him
Only when he's at the end of his rope does he admit what's been bothering him and let you help him
VIKTOR
Usually he closes himself up in his lab to work late nights so it takes a few nights for you to notice there's something wrong
He hasn't been sleeping at all, not for a few days
Barely keeps his eyes open yet insists that he's fine and that you don't need to worry about him getting sick from lack of rest
Takes short rests when you're in the lab with him
Needs to be dragged away to bed if he's gonna get any real sleep
MEL
Really good at pretending to be fine and being in control of things, even when she's pretending in front of you
Being in the Council for as long as she has she had to learn how to keep her guard up
Kisses your cheek when she tells you that her problems are her own, not for you to worry your pretty head about
Will spend the night with you but be gone first thing in the morning
Her nightmares get worse the longer this goes on
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bougiebutchbitch · 1 day
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headcanon few will enjoy, but you (and the noblest of your followers) are among the enlightened:
poolverine starting out as hate sex (canon), as in they're fighting but wade is so so submissive and breedable about it and it makes logan horngry (horny-angry) (canon).
pero like. logan does something totally gruesome to wade and wade does not just quip 'harder daddy', does not just submit to it, does not even just moan like a whore, he fully comes in his pants about it lmfao.
and logan is like are you FUCKING KIDDING ME. and becomes even more horngry and starts doing gruesomer and gruesomer things to wade with the primary motivation to find his limit so he can finally actually fucking hurt him for real god damn it. and he keeps not finding it, and wade's kind of giving as good as he gets sure, but he's on some turn based shit, always eagerly pausing after he hits/stabs/bites back to let logan do whatever he's gonna do next, which is infuriating enough by itself WITHOUT the, yes, begging for more, and calling logan daddy AND kitten AND also calling himself both of those in the third person fucking CHRIST he's so annoying, and the moaning like a whore, and the slutty positions, and the bimbo giggling, and, every now and then, the fucking coming in his fucking pants again the absolute FREAK. until logan gets exhausted or runs out of ideas and has to take a breather (at which point of course wade says some type of "we should do this again some time" shit).
but THEN! slowly it turns less into hate why-don't-you-have-a-limit-i-can-cross sex and more into awed do-you-really-not-have-a-limit-i-can-cross sex. where logan will try something he's like ok SURELY no one could possibly get off on THIS, and then watches in incredulous wonder when wade proves him wrong before escalating, rinse and repeat.
which is how they end up with logan as the ms paint meme Creature in the pussy. like he's eating him out normal. ok good but boring, they're both bored by that, the only way that's gonna really Do It for them is if logan makes wade come like 87 times in 20 minutes and it hurts so bad and wade is so helpless and. you get it. so anyway, then logan puts his claws through wade's thighs to spread them how he wants them instead of just grabbing them, and he can feel that he definitely got some femur on the right, but wade squirting on his face is not about to escape his notice either lmao.
so then he's like okay i'll bite. and bites. and he bites like a real wolverine of course, sinking his teeth in and locking his jaw with 1k+ lbs of force. and he growls and shakes his prey a LITTLE bit just on instinct, but not too much yet because it still hasn't totally sunk in that he could behead wade with a thousand little cuts and wade would be into it. but yeah so obviously wade squeals and starts dirty talk begging for logan to literally eat him alive.
and on one hand. on the homo sapiens hand specifically. logan is like jfc this guy. but on the homo superior and/or canis lupus hand he's like KILL EAT FUCK!!! [creature.jpg]
and uh. so. well. he. he eats wade's pussy. i mean he doesn't like, chew and swallow his flesh, but only because he tears it up so much it's not really a solid food situation anymore. pussy puree. got their bedroom looking like bruce's eating dome after raspberry wednesday.
but yeah so wade's into it lmao. like really really really into it. obviously screaming from pain yes, but even more than that screaming in bliss, and maybe a little bit ecstatic shock that logan a) took his psycho dirty talk seriously and gave him exactly what he asked for even tho anyone else would assume it's just talk or tell him no wade you don't understand that's impossible, and b) lost control of himself because of wade which is truly just the sexiest possible thing to happen.
and in fact wade is so into it he wants to keep getting his cunt played with about it. but um. he doesn't. he doesn't have one. logan ate it out. like, literally. it's gone. so after he's done reaching elysium and seeing nirvana and getting his brain so flooded with endorphins and oxytocin that he probably shorts something out in there, after that he gets kinda bummed out because now he has to wait for his stupid pussy to grow back in order for logan to hurt it again :(
but at this point, it'd be a feat of its own for logan to not get this shit into his hardest-metal-on-earth head. not to mention of course when you are a sadist and your fucked up little freak of a masochist with a healing factor likes it that much when you hurt him that bad, you want nothing more than to hurt him again. the precious sweet little injured gazelle all alone on the prairie deserves to be gored and gutted for being such a good slut <3
so. logan pauses, a deliberate stretch of stillness where he doesn't do anything to wade but he doesn't move away either, so that wade will look down at him and see the hunting instinct still hot and heavy in his eyes, the slow ominous smirk he gives with equal parts slick and blood on his mouth.
and then he starts tongue fucking the wound. obviously.
(and now i'm imagining logan eating wade out all through the healing process as piece by piece of his pussy grows back...... hm.)
uh anyway. i think it's morning where you are. good morning lol.
GOOD GRIEF YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME BEFORE I HAVE TO DO AN EXAM ABOUT STATISTICS
I am gonna be CONSUMED by this for the next 500 years. Consumed. Like Logan consumed that cunt in raw, bloody bites.
There were so many moments when reading this where i had to just. Pause. Because holy shit. First, you are speaking directly to my soul. THIS IS IT. The nasty shit we ALL deserve. Second, HELP. Third, 'got their bedroom looking like bruce's eating dome after raspberry wednesday' has me r o l l i n g.
This is the most important essay since humanity's inception. It is the pinnacle of human art. It should be commemorated in museums worldwide.
He ate that pussy. He ate it.
And Wade whimpered for more.
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deansbite · 16 hours
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    𝒥𝒞  。  drink up, angel
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pairings 𓎟𓎡 ₊ ˖ afab!reader x demon!dean winchester , angel!reader x demon!dean winchester
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warnings 𓎟𓎡 ₊ ˖ 18+ mdni !! kinktober (ish) use of nicknames use of "good girl" unprotected sex (WRAP IT!!!) p in v guilt degrading demon!dean (he should have his own warning tbh) mocking praise consumption of (demon) blood sorta virgin!reader (except the vessel isn't) no prep descriptive blood dom!dean sub!reader
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summary 𓎟𓎡 ₊ ˖ despite dean going missing and mysteriously reappearing in the bunker — the thought of him and you together wasn't as bad as you initially thought. Infact, you were probably attracted to it. Despite being the angel everyone expects to be perfect and innocent.
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READERS POV
⏝ 𝅄︶ ͡𑁬 ⚠︎ ໒ ͡ ︶𝅄 ⏝
It was unusual. Well, the eerie silence that filled the bunker from top to bottom. Except for when you stood up and took a step. Every tiny noise echoed — you could drop a feather in the Deans empty room and hear it all the way to the library. That was because Dean had the Mark Of Cain and just so happened to die — which caused the fucking mark to turn him to a demon. Not because of possession, no, it was purely Dean controlling his body.
It was no biggie, because the boys got through thick and thin — except there was maybe a little problem.. It was that you guys couldn't exactly help Dean without Dean there.. present physically — right..? And that's exactly what your problem was — Dean was M.I.A. and nobody had a clue on where he was or with whom he was. And that had a whole search party out for him. Castiel, Sam, Jody, Donna.. every and any hunter would call if they saw him.
That lead to why you were babysitting the bunker. If a hunter called, you'd simply fly there. And Castiel couldn't do it due to some struggles he had with controlling his flying.. and none of you guys could afford a fail. You needed some good news. And you agreed so now you were left pacing around the bunker, every step you took echoing through the bunker.
The clanks of your shoe against the pavement weren't as quiet as you'd expected. It was like you could set off an entire earthquake with each step. God — you were so bored you were analyzing everything and observing to the point where you see things you never did before.
For example, you noticed the amount of books that had a bunch of dust particles on their spines, the top edges and at the bottom of them. And — there was one particular wooden plank in the library that when you stepped over, would groan. There was also a continious hum of the fridge whenever you walked into the hallway and past the kitchen. Which would fade out further down and come at a complete stop when you stood infront of Deans room —
Deans room. A frown settled on your face. You weren't familiar with the human emotions — but you presumed this one could be connected to melancholy you think it was. You've read about that somewhere. It was connected to sadness. But you shouldn't know how that feels.
Like, you were a full blown angel. You shouldn't feel human-like things. You weren't exactly on the rocky, terrestrial planet which was earth every single day. This was actually your first time being here for a longer period of time. All you knew before was that it was a solid and active surface with mountains, valleys, canyons, plains and more. But you never explored much and never felt the desire to do so.
Not until you ended up being asked by Castiel to come down a couple of times. And you agreed hesitantly, it incredibly strange. You were in a vessel, that could describe how you'd look if you were human. But you weren't human.. whatever, that wasn't important. What was important was that during the period where he asked for help, you popped in here and there or when the boys prayed. Not every single time because you had your own things to tend too. But they were grateful for the help.
Despite basically being put on the blacklist now for all the angels and heaven due to you deciding to help the Winchester's and Castiel, which both of them had a reputation of killing a bunch of angels — you felt like it was a sacrifice that was up to you to make. Which you felt proud of making. Because checking in here and there became normal and even something you looked forward too, helping everyone — and may or may not aswell as seeing the older Winchester.
You hadn't known or seen him — heard of, yeah but not met until you helped them out. He was a bit rough around the edges, extremely rude toward you at first — because he didn't trust angels. Which was understandable. With time, he warmed up enough to you to pray as a form of communication on occasion. You'd sometimes move around some objects so he knew you heard. You both had a thing that felt very dear to you. You genuinely would get concerned when you didn't hear from Dean at least once a month.
And you didn't know how to feel about it. Because you weren't human. You didn't have the mind to feel emotions, feel what humans felt. You felt numb to most things. It was a scary thing to experience, because imagine being a loyal and obedient angel — a favorited angel, who was also beloved by many. And then you became fond of humanity. All because of a single human. Hell, if you hadn't met Dean and became who you are today, you'd just consider squashing him like a bug. That's how weak he truly was in comparison to you.
But here you were, have you had an idea of what happiness was? Nope. Sadness? No. Anger? What even are these words? Aren't they just here to describe how someone is acting that? Because your perspective of emotions were blurry — because you don't know what they are enough to really care. You didn't have a grasp on what it was, really.
You saw nothing special about them. Until now. Standing at the doorway of Deans room. Pondering and reminiscing. Your eyes flew from one part of the room to another. The sheets untouched but slightly messy and they had the same note Dean gave Sam before he left on the pillow. His handwriting. He wrote it before he willingly left. You just stood there, unsure of what to think or feel. A moment passed before Deans scent finally hit your nostrils. The aftershave smell, his cologne, a hint of alcohol and a bit of a.. cigarette smell that you could tell just in the slightest bit that humans wouldn't tell.
A memory you had that stuck to you. It was one where Dean would put his duffle bag on his desk before lazily throwing himself on his bed, settling in and getting all cozy. Then you knocked, he'd sigh before telling you an almost inaudible little 'come in' and you'd enter. Dean would ask what you were doing before you asked him a couple of questions. And that night you guys spoke the entire night. It was fun.
You'd genuinely do anything to be able to have a repeat of that event.
A sigh escaped your lips before you made your way back to the library. Just to make sure that nobody called during the time you'd been busy daydreaming or whatever. Once you made it, your hands reached out and grabbed the smartphones, clicking their power button so they turn on, just to get nothing. You were about to just place the phone back on the flat, wooden surface — until you sucked in quite a deep breath, inhaling a familiar smell.
You were about to just brush it off as nothing when it got stronger. Your eyebrows furrowed and you blinked. Thoughts filled your head and you turned your head over your shoulder. Nothing. The distinctive smell started to subside. Okay.. maybe your mind was just playing tricks and you were just paranoid after Deans absence.
Until it came back. Hell, you might even have to say stronger than the first two times. And then it hit you. Aftershave, a cologne you couldn't ever put your finger on what it smelt like, a heavy stench of alcohol and smell of sex — jesus christ, the same hint of cigarettes. And you knew this couldn't be a paranoid joke. Your hands grip tightend on the smartphone.
The recognizable voice chuckled behind you. "Sweetheart, I know you know that i'm here. Don't be shy, show me that pretty face." His voice was mocking, maybe even straight up cruel because of how extreme the way he said it. The hairs on the back of your neck stood up and you had goosebumps. You were certainly terrified — unknowing of what could possibly come your way when it came to Dean as a demon.
"I know you can hear me, c'mon. Pretty angel like you doesn't like to take orders? Hm? What if I was God? Told ya too obliderate all of humanity. Wipe the slate clean. Start over. Or told you to fucking look at me because I won't be asking another time." Deans — demon Deans voice boomed throughout the library. The old you would probably be ignoring him. But you weren't exactly 'the old you'. You were.. simply present you.
So, you spun around on your heels, your eyes taking a moment to drag up from his shoes. And then you met his emerald green eyes. Usually they were majestic and amazing to look at. But this wasn't Dean Dean. Because you saw his piercing eyes and the glint of dark, malevolent emerald green eyes. It left you speechless. And not in a good way. Nope, exactly the opposite.
"Uh huh, following instructions all proper. Makin' me feel all high and mighty, sweets." He let out a low chuckle, his eyes observing you. As if he had an idea that you were probably planning on just getting the hell away. He hummed, clicking his tongue. "Not too fast, Mary. We just reunited, I missed you real bad." He frowned — trying to impersonate being sad.
You just furrowed your eyebrows, clearly displeased. "What're you even planning on doing with me?" He shrugged, "That depends on what you want to do, sweetheart. I don't do shit without consent." You scoffed in amusement. "A demon refusing to do something without consent? What is this? A bad dream?" You quickly shut up when Dean simply glared at you. "I take that back." "Good girl." And that made your knees weak. I mean, fuck it was still the same looking same green-eyed man in front of you, with the same deep voice.
But it wasn't exactly him. You knew that. But was it bad a part of you just.. simply couldn't care less? "I don't want you to do anything." He simply let out a laugh. "Sure. You're a prude anyway, d'you even know what there is for me t'do to you? Like I don't know, show you what sex is, stick my fingers in you or my cock while i'm at it. Betcha would like that." You accidentally choked on your spit at that. "Huh?" You said between some coughs.
"Didn't ya hear me?" He asked, skeptical. A moment passed where you just stared at him, all wide-eyed. "I asked you a fuckin' question." He added, stern now. "Oh — I uh, no I wouldn't —" He didn't respond to that, just took step by step, every step slowly approaching you, the wooden floorboards groaning under his newly added weight. "Y'sure? You wouldn't want me t'just turn you 'round and slip in nnice 'n slow. Wonder if you're tight." You just stared at him, lips parted. He smirked, the right side of his mouth tugging upward.
He then decided to simply lean down, his head closer and closer to yours, lips almost touching. You felt his breath on your lips and he most likely felt yours on his. Your eyes slowly travelled down — they lingered over his nose with the small bump — then his cheeks and nose which had the faintest freckles dusted around and finally down to his plump lips. You cleared your throat. "Just say no 'n i'll leave y'alone." He spoke, his tone mocking as always. "But i'm sure an innocent, perfect little angel like you won't accept big, bad demon like me."
You just noticed him lean in closer, your lips basically touching if either you or him accidentally sneezed. "And? No complaints?" He chuckled, in a cruel way — which you hadn't noticed, but even if you did, you probably couldn't really care less. And he dragged it out, obviously. Just sucking in a deep breath, his eyes darting from your eyes down to your lips. You were sure you were slowly coming to a realization on what you were exactly doing.
But before you had any time to exactly protest, his lips came down, clashing against yours. His hand immediately touching you all over.. singular because his right hand was busy wrapped around your throat, squeezing lightly to make your airway a bit tighter. But to necessairily cut it off. He chuckled when your lips vibrated against his because you whined in the kiss — but the kiss trapped the noise from being any louder.
"Thought you were a good lil' angel. Seems like the exact opposite. 'Cause I ain't gonna be nice, baby. Gonna bend y'over on the table, fuck y'all nice 'n good, make sure your brain s'all fuzzy 'n fucked out." He promised. Your lips were chasing his as you both had a hot and sloppy makeout. Deans left hand paused at your clothed ass, just squeezing before pulling away from the kiss.
"Bend over the table." He ordered, his right hand leaving your throat and his left hand hesitantly letting go of your ass before he removed it. "But what about the door anyone could walk i —" He shot you a sharp glare, not before blinking and when his eyelids lifted, his eyes were pure black. No iris in sight. Pun not intended. You gulped and just decided to stay intact before turning back around. Mind you, phone still clenched between your fingers.
Dean wasted no time, his hips ground against yours. Around four layers of clothes not providing the friction he gave. His hand went to your lower back before he slowly bent you over. He had a smug smirk on his face as to how easily you followed along with what he made you do. But you didn't see that because your eyes were currently focused on the bookshelves in front of you. All you could do was hear and wait patiently for something to happen.
And honestly — this whole situation escalated so fast it would probably be a blur by tomorrow. As if it never happened and you would be like those.. drunk people you've seen on the television screens and in bars. At least you hoped so, because you were sure fucking a demon wouldn't exactly be a list of things of what to do as a fucking angel. Besides, maybe it was just the way demon Dean attracted you. He was simply Dean.. just less Dean and add some.. more insanity to him.
You were wondering what Dean was doing before you looked over your shoulder, seeing Dean take in the view. Before his right hand landed on your hip. You trapped your bottom lip between your teeth. "Uh-huh, a moment 'go you were all whiny 'n bitchy 'bout me fuckin' ya but now you're all slutty, ain't that right?" He just raised his brows. You just rolled your eyes. "Oh? Gonna act all bitchy again?" He tutted, his left hand going to your hair and his fingers wrapped around a good chunk of your hair, he tugged on it.
"Anythin' ya wanna add?" He sneered. You shook your head. Despite being an angel, you still felt the burn of the hair strands being tugged on your vessels head. "No — no." You managed to get out, he seemed pleased enough. "That's what I fuckin' thought." He let go of the pieces of hair, but his hand shoved your head down onto the table. It wad harsh. "Don't move or I swear t'god y'won't be able too anymore."
And you knew he was not joking so you just let the side of your face rest on the wooden table, your hand let go of that phone and they travelled down to the edge of the table, your hands gripped onto it and you weren't exactly experiences in this — but Dean knew what he was doing. You at least assumed — because you weren't sure how this whole thing would go down. "Will this hurt?" "What'dya fuckin' expect?" His response was filled with irritation.
You wiggled your hips as you just heard his belt clanking as he undid it. All you could do pretty much is just wait because you did not want to disobey Dean. "Y'fuckin' want this, right?" He asked which he then grumbled something under his breath. You nodded before he rolled his eyes. "A fuckin' verbal response please?" "Yeah —" And he immediately continued with what he was doing.
You couldn't see anything so after a little, Deans hands went on your body, his fingers hooked underneath the waistband of your pants. His hands were warm in contrast of your colder skin. He tugged your pants down as fast as he could. He seemed like he wasn't planning on wasting a single second. Because holy jesus the 180 turns that keep taking you by surprise just keep going. You sucked in a breath when Deans fingers now went to your panties. His index teased your entrance through the thin fabric seperating them.
He then — without much warning pulled your panties to the side with the same index finger, his left hand gripping your hip and his calloused thumb after years of hunting and labor scratched your skin a little. You felt something tease your entrance. A gaspy breath escaped Dean from behind you. "Y'feel so wet. Hopefully s'enough t'act as lube." And then you felt him push in. His tip was in and you let out a moan, eyes fluttering shut.
He chuckled. "Jeez, baby. That fuckin' cunt s'suckin me in perfectly. Clenchin' 'round me real tight, too. Sad your pretty lil' vessel ain't a fuckin' virgin. Woulda enjoyed poppin' two cherries at once." He now pushed in deeper. His right hand went under your shirt, you just now realized because he was groping your boobs, his index and middle finger twisting your nipple as you let out a whine. "Fuck." You exclaimed.
"Real filthy. Never expected an angel like you squeezin' my cock so tight." He taunted, he bottomed out. Your walls clenched around him and relaxed before repeating that action, pants escaped your lips. You could feel every vein, the size of him and the way he almost split you into two. Dean boasted about sex all the time after he slept with girls. You never knew how right he was until now. Because jesus fucking christ you weren't expecting it to feel this good. You were probably zoned out because Dean spanked your ass. "Come back t'me, whore. Stick a fuckin' dick in ya 'n you'll become all inresponsive like a cock whore." He scoffed.
"C'mon, as I was sayin', open up that mouth." He ordered, still deep in you without moving. You fluttered your eyes open, his wrist right in your eyesight. He folded himself over you, his chest flush against your back. His right hand no longer teasing your boobs. Which was probably why his wrist was right in front of you. But it was because he had sliced his skin open a little under. "You're enough of a slut t'take a demons dick. I'll fuckin' move when ya suck on demon blood. Like Sammy, except a pretty lil' thing like y'does it. Drink up, angel." The crimson red substance was right in front of you.
Your eyes widened. "I —" Jesus christ. You were an angel getting dicked down by a fucking demon. You were in far too deep right now. You leaned forward slightly. "That's it, atta girl." He praised, you didn't pay attention to it if it had an underlaying cruel tone under his words. You just focused on the disgusting demon blood you were about to consume. Your lips wrapped around the wound, the iron — y taste immediately sitting on your tastebuds. That's when you didn't even have time to complain about the thick substance you swallowed —
Because Dean pulled all the way out — well, almost because his tip was still in you. Then he slammed his hips forward, you would've moaned had his arm — and blood you were consuming with some dribbling down your chin onto the wooden table — not been muffling you. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head. "Fuck, shoulda fucked this pussy a while 'go. Was actually thinkin' bout it." He panted and slowly started a harsh, relentless and fast pace from the get go.
You had time to adjust at the beginning, but now he was just careless, fucking away all and every thought you had. At some point, the table was shaking due to the hard thrusts. Your hips were probably gonna be bruised with the edge of the table digging into your skin.
You heard him groan and gasp behind you, a breathy chuckle escaping him. "So much for innocent angel."
That made you whine — well, as best as you could, still lapping up the blood that was basically like a faucet eacaping him. You were being fucked so good and hard — skin slapping against skin echoing — the light creaks of the table shaking and Deans pants were so incrediblely lewd and loud.
It seemed like there was no end in sight. Except you felt something build up in your abdomen — you weren't sure what it was. If you didn't know how to explain emotions, whatever this was you probably couldn't, either.
You were right there. Until the bunker door opened, your eyes widened and you were surprised Dean didn't even try to stop, he just hummed in amusement. "Hey! We're home —" Sam called out with Castiel whispering something to him. "Yeah — I know." Sam said — probably in response to Castiel. Before he started speaking up once more, his boots clanking against the metal staircase.
"Hello? Anyone home —" Sam's voice died in his throat when Castiels jaw dropped. "Oh." Your eyes flew to them as their eyes were wide. "Oh hey, look. We got an audience. Demon fuckin' an angel in front of their friends. Ain't that funny?" Dean kept going, not a care in the world.
You were fucking embarrassed. And that was for fucking sure.
⏝ 𝅄︶ ͡𑁬 ⚠︎ ໒ ͡ ︶𝅄 ⏝
I didn't proofread this shit and i quite frankly do not want too I HATE THIS SO SO MUCH but i gotta feed yall </3
tags: @pearlzier @fallbhind @beausling @deanswidow @gibson-g1rl @dollsltt
amab vers: im too fucking lazy for this rn...... leave me alone
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rightpastnowhere · 1 day
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more thoughts on TLOVM season 3 episode 3. still insane.
PART TWO: that TLOVM perc'ahlia scene, mostly in terms of its TLOVM context, with some campaign 1 comparisons
spoilers below the cut for TLOVM AND campaign one moments that will likely happen this season lol
her initiating this fling is fascinating to me. we all know vex has a fear of commitment and being hurt by relationships right? EXCEPT!! except, i think this is her trying to deal with that. which is insane but it makes sense for her in TLOVM. To Me.
cause like. in the first two episodes we have MULTIPLE close calls with percy, which are technically happening all in the same day?? and you have vex, who's admitted to a creepy fey and herself that her heart is not her own, who takes these, processes these, and says, "thinking i lost him even now was awful; if i start a relationship with him, it will only hurt me 100 times worse in the end. so i'll just fuck him casually and pretend i have no emotions about it whatsoever."
which i think can have TWO possible explanations, yknow beyond the way she's afraid of relationships and considering herself a bad omen - explanations that explain why sex is a line she's willing to cross before emotional confession, almost instead of it, whereas in the campaign she won't cross either.
one: she's trying to convince herself that she can just. make it casual. force it into something different, choke the feelings down until they fade away eventually. i don't have as many thoughts on this idea but it DOES bring me insurmountable pain to think about.
two: she's basically struck a bargain with herself.
after two episodes of multiple close calls with percy, it’s almost like she’s trying to wrestle herself into a deal. she looks at her hungry heart which doesn't belong to her anymore, and is terrified of the decision it wants to make, terrified of the idea of a relationship with percy that will one day crumble, and she says, “okay. one thing. we can have one thing. we can have a casual fling, some friends with benefits, we’ll know what it’s like to kiss him and have sex with him and even wake up next to him but that’s it. we’ll pretend we’re asleep in the morning. we’ll distance ourself from him the next day. we’ll pull back, keep enough of a barrier to not let him any closer, but sex can be casual, right? it doesn’t have to mean anything. it won't mean anything. it's casual.”
and even then it’s only “casual” in the sense that they’ve agreed not to say anything about how they feel. they both know how the other feels, they’ve said it in every way you could without explicitly saying i love you. percy downright admits that he feels something and knows there is something between them and he wants emotional connection. vex says that she cares for him, that she can’t say what he wants to hear, and that everyone she’s ever loved, it ends badly - implying, all but directly saying, that he’s one of those people!! she ends up admitting it even more directly than he does!!!! this is so sad it’s almost hilarious. they’re both admitting and committing to the facade of a casual fling. vex because she’s terrified, and percy because he would do anything for her.
she would rather have a facade of a casual relationship, would rather ask percy to help her lie, help her pretend this means nothing, even as she lies there and admits that it does mean something but she's too scared to let it become anything significant. and even that statement, where she refuses to show vulnerability, is showing so much vulnerability. she's trusting percy with this fear she's kept close to her chest, she's trusting percy with her fear of trust. asking percy to hold that fear and keep it safe, hold it close to his chest, right where his heart sits. where her heart sits, now. the amount of trust it takes to do that. the way those words had to be clawed out of her, only when she was lying down, hurt, and couldn't run anymore. she trusts percy with this thing she's only trusted her brother with, if that - and at the same time, she can't even trust herself with loving and being loved without ruining it all.
it’s like. if she doesn’t get too close, it won’t hurt as much when he eventually, inevitably, leaves. whether he dies or walks away or makes a deal with a demon or a death goddess or whatever, he will leave, because they always leave, and the further she is, the less distance she’ll have to fall from. the softer the landing will be.
and then, if this is going the way i think it is, if we are building up to glintshore and the resurrection, then it won’t be soft at all. percy is going to die, and it is going to hurt vex so fucking horribly, and the distance will have meant nothing. all it will do is give her less memories to hold onto, now that he's gone. she will not hurt for the size of the hole in her heart, but rather for the lack of memory she has to fill it. a hole torn further open by the weight of the breadth of love unspent.
and then they're going to try and bring him back. and she will beg for another chance to do it right this time. she will give him her heart and everything she has, because she tried to do the casual distance, and she's learned that it hadn't done anything but hurt the both of them.
but she's not going to make that same mistake again.
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Season 2 marked the ending of “Haladriel” and the beginning of “Saurondriel” 
This season was pretty much the aftermath of “Halbrand is Sauron”, with Galadriel having to come to terms with that fact, and realizing that the mortal man with whom she shared a connection and some strong feelings, is actually the archenemy she has been chasing, according to herself, “since the first sunrise blooded the sky”.  
Galadriel spent the majority of the season heartbroken about Halbrand, and believing the connection they shared was nothing more than a lie and a deception on Sauron’s part. Several characters (Gil-galad, Elrond and Adar) rubbed in her face that “Halbrand is Sauron”. She went as far as to reveal to Celebrimbor that she did wanted to be Halbrand’s queen, and accept his offer in 1x08.
Those who follow me know I hated this scene at the finale, and that will never change: it was bad-executed, and a total mess that didn’t manage to bring the point across to the audience. But, in that scene, we see that Galadriel is still deeply “affected” by her feelings for Halbrand: she’s chasing after Sauron so fiercely but the moment she sees Halbrand, she stops. And it’s clear it is painful for her, because she knows that Halbrand is not real. And she believes that Sauron is just taunting with her (and the audience believes it, too).
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“Fighting at your side, I felt, if I could just hold onto that feeling.” 
“They could no longer distinguish me from the evil I was fighting.” 
“Aren’t these the seeds you planted?” 
Sauron tells Galadriel all of these things through illusions, and evidently, she accuses him of deceiving her and all of it being nothing more than a trick on his part. There’s a real romantic subtext here.
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Galadriel looked taken back by these words, but the fighting resumes short after. 
And you see, I’ve talked about this on my speculation posts about “Last Temptation”: if the “love confession” we were promised by Director Charlotte Brändström was only Sauron “saying stuff”, it would always sound as if he was being manipulative and deceitful, and that’s what happened in this scene. The fandom is puzzled as to if he’s being sincere or not.
For the sake of the argument, let’s assume he is. What’s his point here? Just getting the Nine? Because he could easily do that without all of this talking. My take is, and looking at the overall theme of the season (Sauron = Halbrand), is that Sauron is trying to prove that he and Halbrand are the same, and that the connection Halbrand shared with Galadriel was real. And he knows that Galadriel “felt it, too”. And that explains why Sauron didn’t stay in his Halbrand form, when it was the easiest way to manipulate her. He’s attempting to prove that the connection Galadriel felt was, in fact, with him, Sauron himself.
Still, Galadriel refuses to accept it, and continues to fight Sauron. He’s somewhat amused until she manages to cut his face, and say “the door is shut”. In this moment, Sauron realizes she’s not going to surrender herself to him, and stabs her with Morgoth’s crown to perform Dark magic, like I’ve explained before.
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At first glance, it appears Sauron does it to kill her because of her rejection, and that he, in fact, hates her. In truth: he was using dark sorcery and his plan was to turned her into a wraith to join him in the Unseen World. And that's the reason why he uses the "past tense" when saying he would have made her the queen of Middle-earth; she's about to go into another realm.
In one of my posts I already analyzed Sauron’s capability of love. Sauron is capable of love, but he’s also corrupted by Morgoth, meaning his love is also corrupted. He’s possessive, obsessive, and jealous, and since Galadriel refuses to give in freely, he forces them to bind together, with the aid of the Dark arts. This was his way of saying "you are mine, now and forever".
And you all believe it was really Elrond on that tent. 
And that’s why Sauron makes that “evil happy” face when he thrusts the crown into her chest. The crown is infused with his blood (since Adar used it to destroy his previous physical form), meaning their bloods just bound. This is what he truly wanted.  
The only thing that’s preventing Galadriel from reaching the Unseen world, is Nenya, and that’s why Sauron wants the ring, otherwise it will stop the process. We all know what happens next. 
Where do we go from here? 
It’s impossible for the show to ignore or gloss over the wound Galadriel suffered from Morgoth’s crown, so that needs to be addressed, and will probably be a central piece on her Season 3 arc.
Galadriel gets healed, but this will be like Frodo’s Morgul wound in “Lord of the Rings”: it will never fully heal, and leave a last effect on Galadriel (Dark!Galadriel), and kick out her “Lady of the Light” arc;
Galadriel and Sauron are, now, bound together (and Melkor officiated the ceremony from the Void), and this explains their “cosmical connection” and how Galadriel is so attuned to Sauron for centuries to come;
Sometimes to find the light, we must first touch the darkness: this quote has been present in Galadriel’s arc in both Season 1 and Season 2, and as, yet, to come into play, which might indicate Galadriel might find herself struggling even harder with it on Season 3. 
I’m not sure if Galadriel believed Sauron and came to realized that the connection they shared (when she believed him to be "just Halbrand") was real, or not. But since the producers said Galadriel and Sauron’s connection will remain a central part of all seasons, they will have to sort of interaction in Season 3 (probably mind palace, dreams, etc.).
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rey-jake-therapist · 15 hours
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Okay, I cooled down, watched the episode again and... cooled down because I was pissed off again, mostly at the terrible lines that came out of Galadriel's mouth during that fight... "Do you want to heal me?" (that was so random lol), "the free people of Middle Earth will always resist you" (cringe intensifies), "You want to heal Middle Earth... Heal yourself !" (Peak cringe).
I already ranted about all the things I didn't like in other posts, I didn't change my mind a bit, so I will focus on what else I liked, especially after rewatching.
There are moments of the Haladriel fight I really enjoyed. Starting with this :
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(gif posted by @tpmind)
This little smile, the first time we see him soften since season 2 started, and... god, I wish we could put sound on gifs because this "Galadrriel"... oh my heart. He was really glad to see his wife !
Then this, which was comedy actually :
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(gif by @letthefairyinyoufly)
First, Evil Barbie looks very cute, I want to kiss him. Ahem, I derail. But this moment made me laugh so hard. Galadriel and all of us think of Sauron of this brilliant master mind who's got 320 plans in his head, is always ahead of everyone and manipulates us all like puppets, and here he's just like.... "Wut? Nah, I improvise often actually". I liked this line because it made him a more realistic villain, finally. There's a lot he can predict and plan but he can sometimes be surprised too ! Like at at the end, when Durin and his dwarves came at the rescue : he thought the Balrog had killed them all, probably. Sauron really doesn't like these dwarves lol
And I know it was not everybody's cup of tea, but I loved most of this duel. At least the beginning ! It was everything I predicted : she was the enraged gremlin, while he calmly avoided blows and barely struk back. At some point his face even said, "she serious? She wants to keep fighting? Boring, but if that's the wife wants..."
Because this is literally what happens. As he tells her, he doesn't want to harm her at all ! That's why he doesn't use any magic against her. It would be so easy if he did. Galadriel didn't best Sauron, he let her best him, at least until she rejected him again and angered him doing so. That's only then that he changed and became actually agressive. And even then, he effortlessly owned her. The only reason why she managed to scratch his face is probably that he was pissed and caught off guard by her refusal to be with him.
We saw how easily Sauron can kill someone when he really wants to. With a hand wave he would have thrown Galadriel against a tree if he had wanted to harm her or kill her, c'mon. He toyed with her like a cat with a mouse and it was delicious to watch. Galadriel wasn't nicer with the Numenor boys in season 1 than Sauron was with her during this fight. She was stronger than he thought though, he underestimated her, hence why she made him fall on his back.
And the sexual tension during this fight ! Incredible, and it just kept culminating until he stabbed her with Morgoth's crown. I'll come back to that in a minute. And the height difference, let's not forget the height difference !
I liked that we finally got the confirmation that earlier in the season, he used Nenya to communicate with Galadriel with visions, like I suspected. I didn't like how it was executed (shapeshifting into Celebrimbor to make him repeat "Aren't they the seeds you planted?" was a bit of an overkill), but I'm glad they clarified that, for her and for us.
Halbrand's appearance ! His puppy eyes! He was totally manipulating her like a puppy begging for food, but still, so cute... Man, he's good lol
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Galadriel frozing, closing her eyes when he repeats what he told her and dropping her defensiveness! I loved that moment, too bad it lasted what? 5 seconds, then it was gone? I know many of us, me included tbh, thought he was just manipulating her again, even mocking her feelings (and ours as well), and that the way it was executed could make it seem like Halbrand was really fake, after all. I blame the terrible execution of this scene for that, tbh. Not Charlie's acting! he was perfect, he always is.
But back to the point : I think what this moment tried to convey, very awkwardly, was that he reminded Galadriel of this moment in the woods, and of her own words earlier in S1, as an echo to what he said just before: "Not all of it". And he did that not to manipulate her or to mock her, but to force her to force the truth that she refuses to admit : they're not that different. But again, it was terribly executed and suffered from a complete lack of emotions. It was supposed to be his "hit her with the truth" moment, I guess? If it was the purpose, it obviously missed the mark.
But wait, I said I would only post positive thoughts...
Now of course there's THIS :
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Man, that was insane. I have no other words for it. It was horrible, yet disturbingly HOT. I must say on my first watching, I screamed "nooooo, you said you wished her no harm, what are you doing?!", and seeing him insisting to get Nenya really annoying. So that was it? He only cared for his freaking rings now?
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(crédit @spellofwinter)
Trusting how he looked at her straight after stabbing her, I'd say not. He may say what he wants, but that's the look of a Maiar who's still down bad for his she-Elf. I mean look at him.
I liked his speech about how he would have not rested until all Middle-Earth worshipped her and all that, I loved it. It was ridiculously romantic, especially considering he was literally twisting the knife crown into her wound. It was really, "you hurt me, my turn now". He's such a petty bitch.
Galadriel's awful "The free people of M-E will always resist you" line kinda ruined the mood for me, and not just because she wasn't vibing as he was ; why does Sauron have the best lines of dialogs while Galadriel gets all the crappy ones? 'seems very mysoginistic to me.
Then I read some posts here and came back to the scene to rewatch, and wow, some of you are really good, you know that? And no, I'm not referring to the obvious sexual innuendo behind this move lol But as it's been observed by others :
He stabs her with Morgoth's crown, just as he was by Adar.
He aimed for the shoulder while he could have very well gone for the heart (proving that even then, he didn't want to kill her)
There's an undeniable significance in the fact that he stabbed her with Morgoth's crown and not with Adar's sword. As @apoloadonisandnarcissus pointed out in this post, it contains a very powerful dark magic, that will leave Galadriel forever marked with a wound that can never fully heal. Sauron knew that, and he chose this weapon on purpose.
One of the reasons why I never thought that the show would give us Dark!Galadriel at the of season 2, is that Sauron himself doesn't want her to become his "dark queen". He's drawn to her light ! That's why he wanted her to be his queen, because she's already the Lady of Light to him. He wanted her to touch the darkness, not to be wrapped in it like he is. She was supposed to balance him, that's the whole point... But now that she's determined to shut the door on him, he realizes that if he lets her go now, he'll lose her forever.
So he stabs her with Morgoth's crown, knowing fully well what it will do to her. Saying "I would have put a crown above your head etc." is Sauron putting the blame on Galadriel for what he is, as he believes, "forced to do", exactly like he accused Celebrimbor of forcing him to torture him. It's Sauron's playbook all over again : "I didn't want to do this, but you leave me no choice", "you did that to yourself", "I'm the victim here", etc.
My first reaction to this scene where he asks her to give him Nenya was to believe that he was only interested in the ring. But Ioved the fact that he talked in her head, because it's the first time he does that. And it's probably because of the wound he just gave her that he can do it. I didn't like the scene in itself that much because it looked like he was woodoing her more than anything else.
But the fact remains that he didn't take Nenya by force. And that's when @apoloadonisandnarcissus strongly disagree about Sauron's intent here :) You think the bond he created by stabbing her was accidental because his plan was to steal her light and turn her into a ringwraith, I'm saying it was his intention since the start to bind her to him. She was supposed to stick around though lol
Seriously, he could have just taken Nenya from her finger and let Galadriel become a ringwraith. Why didn't he just do that? It's not cryptonite to him, he could have just taken it. He renounced her, right? She didn't want him, he didn't want her as his queen any longer, so why asking her to give Nenya to him instead of just taking it, if he didn't care about Galadriel at all? We saw with Adar that Nenya will "work" even if it has been stolen, so Sauron didn't want Galadriel to give it freely because he thought he woudn't be able to use it if he just took it from her.
So, my theory may be delulu but is supported by Sauron's facial expression : he was still on a power trip. Clearly lol. He knew he could heal Galadriel with Nenya, and he intented to because he didn't want her dead, but only... if she gave her the ring herself. He wanted her to submit to him, entirely. He could have told her he wanted Nenya so he could heal her, but then she would have given it just for that, and that's not what he wanted.
Of course, he didn't expect her to jump instead. He tried to catch her hand to stop her fall, again, why? Why would he care if she lived or die? If the point of it all was to get his hand on Nenya, all he had to do was to walk down the cliff and go pick up Nenya down there. He had more than enough time before Arondir and Gil-Galad would find Galadriel. But he didn't do that. He just remained stunned, he couldn't believe what she did. Then he lashed out on Glug who just happened to arrive with his complaints at the wrong time. Though, tbh, Glug wouldn't have survived for long anyway, being sort of the unionist of the Uruks. Sauron's not exactly a democrat... Plus he hates them.
So, I'm convinced that Sauron's plan at this point was to bind Galadriel to him, forcefully, since he can't get her to join him willingly. He stabbed her with Morgoth's crown so he could possess her. His design was of course way darker than what he had in mind first - making her his queen and not resting until all Middle-Earth worship her - , but I don't think that making her a ringwraith was his purpose.
Now of course, we'll see what the writers do with that, maybe he'll just keep antagonizing her which will prove that binding himself to her but not totally enslaved was purely accidental, but it has the potential to take a very interesting turn, anyway.
Last thing I liked, and which also convinces me that deep down, this moron stilll cares about her, has also been noticed by several other fans. @galstelperion published a great edit of the shots that look like very much as if Galadriel was being watched by an eye from above, by Sauron. The first one is when she's found by Arondir and Gil-Galad.
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Even when Gil-Galad tries to save her from the darkness that's taking her, it looks like they're being watched (I took a screenshot but it's really more obvious if you watch the edit)
Then, that's the effect we see from Galadriel's POV, when she wakes up after Elrond heals her :
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And then again when the camera turns on her. See how she puts her hand on her wound (also her heart, ahem) immediately? It could be because it still hurts, of course, but it could also be because she feels Sauron's eye on her. In LOTR, Frodo's wound made him suffer each time the Nazgul who stabbed him was close.
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Also, Galadriel's wound looks like an eye if we look at it with attention.
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So my point is : Sauron DID check on her after he realized she was still alive. He knows she's fine because he's got his 24/7 livestream now. Fanfic writers, have fun with this information ;)
Why didn't he check on her immediately then? Easy answer : petty bitch. That's what he is, after all. It's possible he was conflicted ; not happy that she may be dead, but thinking that maybe it's for the best that she is, as @darklinaforever suggested if I'm not wrong?
And to finish with a very delulu theory that will certainly never be proven true : when Gil-Galad says the darkness is too powerful and he can't save her, Elrond answers with an absolute certainty, looking at Nenya : "I can". Then he puts on the ring, which we know is a very difficult thing to do for him because until now, he was totally against the use of the Elven rings.
Where does he take this certainty from, I wonder? I know he saw Galadriel use Nenya to heal Camnir, but Camnir was wounded by an Orc arrow. It's not even remotely similar as the wound that an object as powerful and dark as Morgoth's crown, Elrond would know that (and Gil-Galad would have probably saved her without Nenya, if it was such a wound). So how is he so certain? Probably because Nenya showed him. And who proved during this fight that he was the one using Nenya to send visions to Galadriel, in the earlier episodes? I mean, maybe not of all them, but we know he was the one who showed her visions of Celebrimbor prisoner of "the seeds that she planted" at least...
Who knows, maybe Sauron did save her after all hahaha. Maybe that's what Charlotte Brandström hinted at, when she said :
"I think Sauron even really loves Galadriel and you will see that at the very end."
What else showed in this episode that he really loves her?? I can't think of anything else. Binding her to him, with the potential intent to turn her into a ringwraith? from Sauron's POV I guess it's love, but it doesn't happen "at the very end". At the end of their encounter yes, but who would look at this scene and think "this real love right here?" While Galadriel's healing happens... at the very end of the episode. I'll let that sink in...
The main obstacle to the idea that Sauron still loves Galadriel is episode 7 : Galadriel is put in a cage by Adar, threatened by a spear which he uses to make her bleed, and yet we don't see Sauron reacting to that. It can make us think that he didn't care at all what could happen to her, but the thing is : we can't be sure that he even saw that she was prisoner of Adar, since we don't know what he can see from the walls where he's standing. We don't know if he stayed on the walls to watch or if he left immediately with Celebrimbor.... We don't know if the scene where Elrond charges is happening right in front of him, or in a totally different place... We know nohing, so there's still room to think that he simply has no idea where Galadriel is at this moment. For all we know, he believes she's still with the Elves. Or he saw her but also saw Elrond going to meet Adar, and assumed he could handle this on his own. Or we will learn in season 3 that he mind palaced everyone and was in fact masquerading as Elrond (lol, I hardly hope for that now).
That's one of episode 7's many plot holes : since they didn't stop showing Sauron obsessing over Galadriel, they should have adressed this, either by filming him while he looked at the scene, either by filming him while he left the walls with Celebrimbor. At least, we'd know.
In conclusion to all this, I'd just like to say that episode 8 was still very disappointing, but all these points I've found redeem it a bit to me. At least if I'm right about Sauron's intentions when he wounded her with Morgoth's crown. If his intention was only to make her a ringwraith and steal her light... It's even worse than I thought and it's indeed probably not doomship anymore, but sunkship.
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pearl-kite · 1 day
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So I came to the realization today that I am not going to get anymore work on this trunk done this year. I still need to finish stripping the paper inside and redoing that, but it's just. Not happening until spring. With that realization, I decided it's time to finally bring it back inside, put all the junk on my floor that used to be in it back in it, and guys
It looks good.
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This is going to be a summary post of the project, so let's go back and remember what I started with. Back in, like, 2015 or something, I bought this dome-top steamer trunk at a missionary shop for $65
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Yeah. Rough. But underneath that paint it was sturdy, and the only thing missing was the lock and the right-side hasp. While I lived overseas this sat in my parents' house, and when I got back I kept meaning to do something while storing all of my yarn and cat food in it. When I finally got my own space (almost a year ago now!) with my own garage, I finally decided: it was time.
Heads up, this is a long post under the cut.
Did a lot of research online, grew to hate how generative AI has even permeated niche topics like how to refinish a vintage steamer trunk, WHY is there generative AI for that, PLEASE stop, went to Lowe's and bought some supplies (I used Citristrip for the paint stripping, it worked VERY easily), and started stripping that hideous brown* away.
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Almost instantly I could tell how good it could be. The tin looked amazing, and for most of the stripping process I wondered why on earth someone would cover it with any color. It took multiple layers of stripping, and I got better at it over time.
I did also start to see some oxidation issues with the tin that made the purpose behind the paint job a little more understandable.
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One side was particularly bad, but I will never forgive the decision to paint the entire thing one single color.
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At first, the flat metal seemed okay, but the longer I worked on stripping, the longer it was exposed to air, the rustier it started to get. I had already planned on coating it, and I ended up getting some Rust-Oleum Rust Reformer spray paint. Instead of removing the rust, it bonds to the oxide and stops the process from continuing. It also happens to leave it a nice matte black that didn't need additional painting. I taped everything off, then sprayed.
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Then it was time for the tin. I looked for ideas, and the best one I found was Rub'n'Buff. It's not so much a paint as a pigmented wax, with the idea that you can buff it to a higher shine. As I was stripping paint, I found a spot under one of the slats that the painter missed, and the original tin had been painted a gold color, so I used that to decide on color. I decided on Grecian gold, though I used the antique gold as a kind of base to make sure the Grecian stretched far enough.
I originally started applying it with some craft foam brushes, but they didn't really want to work for me, so I ended up buying a pack of makeup sponges, the little disposable wedge ones, and the finer texture worked much better. I had to trim them down pretty frequently, because the wax would build up and stop applying as nicely, but there were more than enough in the pack to finish the job.
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The coverage is amazing for this stuff. This side was the worst of them, and one layer of the stuff was almost perfect. The Grecian gold was almost a bit runnier, though, and ended up needing a second layer to cover some patches that were almost too thin, thus the other underneath.
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This tin is so pretty though. I still kind of regret that it needed it; the places that weren't oxidized were so bright in a way that the Rub'n'Buff had no hope of emulating. There are some places you can still buy the embossed tin for rehabing trunks like this, but I haven't found one with a pattern quite like this, and this one is so much nicer than the ones I've seen. I'm very glad that it was all intact except for where the lock goes.
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After the tin came the slats. I knew from sites like Brettun's Village that I wanted to use tung oil, so I had bought what I thought was tung oil. Turns out Minwax gets to call their tung oil finish that even though there's. No... tung oil. in it. ? So uh, if you want actual tung oil, do NOT listen to Minwax, they're lying, I don't understand why it's allowed. It still looks nice enough, but quite annoying.
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Speaking of Brettun's Village, they not only do their own restorations AND provide a guide, they have a very extensive supply of recently furbished and original parts. They happened to have a nearly identical hasp to the one that was missing (so nearly identical I only noticed after my dad pointed it out) and an old lock also similar to my original, made in the late 1800s/early 1900s.
The next step was to tackle the inside. Instead of just adding more paper on top (like the last people did, so now there are two layers, one of which hides some original stickers ;3;), I decided to try to scrape that out, and I've found some structural issues that the metal and slats outside have held together and kept hidden.
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The top split in the wood is an actual crack on the front that needs fixing. The middle split is just the gap between the planks. The bottom is also a crack, but not as extensive as the top one.
So the final steps, when I get the motivation again come spring, is to finish getting as much of the paper off as I can. Then my dad is going to help me use some bondo to hold the cracks, and I'll find a removable wallpaper I like. Then I can sort out what I'm going to do with the lock. That top split runs right through where the lock should go - you can see some of the wood filler we already put in from where the original was ripped out - so we can't try to put anything there or it'll crack worse.
But I brought it in today!
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It looks so good, I glance over and get to feel so satisfied; I did that.
*I don't like to call any color hideous, because a lot of the time it really depends on the context, and it's an okay brown. But for THIS? It was probably the worst brown they could have picked. Mixed with the orange of the paint stripper it looked like I was scraping diarrhea.
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kyokutsu-sama · 2 days
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Fluff Headcanons| Rengoku x f!reader
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A/n: Writing some cute headcanons for this man cause I love him and he's the sweetest man alive❤️🧡
You may not know but I'm in a seriously relationship with him (I'm delulu😅)
~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~☆~
This man is definitely the best thing that has ever happened to you. He is the kind of man who is perfect and perfect in every way. He has a genuine and bright smile that he always has and it will only shine even brighter when he sees you. He will never hide that he loves you and will always remind you of his feelings. He always has beautiful words to say to you and to make you feel good about yourself and whenever you have a problem he always has advice or always tries to find a solution to remedy the situation. When he leaves to go on missions, he always says goodbye with a kiss and a long hug as if it were his last. The feeling of having you in his arms makes his courage and confidence increase. When he returns from a mission it is a great joy for both of you. He immediately runs to you and feels the warmth of your hug again. When he hugs you he remembers when his mother hugged him when he was a child. The Flame Hashira has a big stomach, so when you two go out to eat, he always makes big piles of empty bowls and plates. You always wonder where this man kept so much food. You also can't help but feel a little embarrassed when he yells "UMAI!" in the middle of a crowded restaurant and everyone turns their attention to your table. Short scenario: "Kyo, keep your voice down. Everyone's looking at us!" You warn him but he just keeps eating "UMAI!!" He yells again You just sigh and roll your eyes seeing that he ignored what you said. You know how much he loves sweet potatoes and that's why you often prepare them for him when he gets home or for him to take when he goes on a mission. He's so grateful to you for that his love for you only grows even more. He's also very playful and soemtimes he plays pranks on you which always triggers a little wrestling between you. Pillow fights are also on the list, especially when you two are making the bed and he throws the pillow at you who throws it back. Speaking of bed, he's the big spoon. He loves to hold you in his arms as if he were protecting you from anything. And you find it very comforting how strong and welcoming his arms are. He also likes to sleep with his head on your chest and listen to your heart beating. That brings him inner comfort and is all he needs if his day is not going well. And when he has a bad day he will just hug you and tell you everything that is wrong with him. Flowers. He also loves giving you flowers and seeing you smile when you receive them. If you are on one of those days of the month, he will hug you and give you lots of affection because he knows you are more sensitive. He also makes you good food and gives you chocolate. (I want a Rengoku for myself this Christmas😭😭) He likes to train with you and sometimes takes his little brother with him to join too. Senjuro likes you a lot and always thanks you for taking care of his big brother. On rainy days you just hug and watch the rain fall outside. You once invited him to dance in the rain but he was a little reluctant at first because he didn't want you to catch a cold but deep down he thought it was fun and went with you. It was a great feeling until he knew he was right and you both ended up sick. "Babe, I told you so many times..." He whispered "Oh come on, you were having fun too" You replied before sneezing
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dirtytransmasc · 1 year
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Hi!!!!
Do you have any hcs for how Alicole would try and solve and argument with the kids? Like, their dynamic (especially Aegon with Alicole cause he’s the oldest) is just so interesting and I’ve always wondered how an argument/disagreement would play out with them
ooh, tasty concept.
with arguments amongst the children, they try and get them to take a step back. they'll each take a kid (or two if it involves all of them) and give them a hug or something of the like, easing the tensions, before helping them come to some sort of compromise or agreement.
when it comes to non petty arguments that every child has, the source of issues amongst the kids is the following;
with Aegon they have to settle his need to compensate for feeling as though he is lacking. he tends to pick on his siblings when he's feeling down on himself. so it's a lot of affirming words and hugs while also chiding his cruel behavior. he's definitely hard on himself about being cruel as well, he doesn't like being mean it just sorta comes out of him when he's not in good spirits about himself. he shoves his siblings away over little things when he's upset which only makes him feel worse in the long run. the whole situation makes it hard to parent, as it's not right how he treats his siblings at times, but it's also awful how he feels and how it presents itself. there's typically long talks after the fact. Aegon's usually in his dad's arms, more often than not, while he mom comforts him.
with Aemond it's cooling his temper and frustration, deep breaths and grounding. they remind him that he can't let every jab get a rise out of him, that he always had them to turn to when he needs help, that he's not alone to handle his anger. they try and learn more and more each time, what triggers his anger, what helps him calm down, what to avoid, etc. sometimes he needs to just be held other times he needs a moment alone to breathe. they also try and help him learn how to self regulate and also make his siblings aware that he's getting upset prior to him lashing out (they also talk to them about it).
with Helaena, arguments tend to be because she thinks so differently from her brothers. not only is she a girl in a house of boys, but also because she's autistic (I was the autistic 'sister' in a house of boys for most of my life, it definitely brewed some unique arguments, and I'm gonna project god damn it), their ways of thinking and doing are so different sometimes that she just loses it. so with her, they let her talk, they let her ramble and decompress until she can ground herself, then they have to try and explain the boys point of views, how they see may not be the right way, nor is hers, neither are, but they have to learn to agree. then it's hugs and kisses and talking it out, before they go back to hashing it out with the boys.
Daeron's the most agreeable with the siblings, very adhd coded in my mind (so I'm going to project my brother onto him cause they're very copy pasted in my mind) so when he gets into an argument it's because he's going too fast, too passionate, and/or too much. so again, like most of their children, it's grounding first talking later. like Helaena, they have to explain that the way he is isn't bad or wrong, but that's sometimes we need to slow down, take a breath, cool off, and than continue.
with arguments they take their kids separately, normally separated into different rooms and they visit them together. depending on the exact situation they may just offer hugs and softness, or they'll play a slight game of good cop/bad cop, though they're careful with it. the goal is to solve the problem, not slap a bandaid on it. they tend to each kids needs before handling the actual issue at hand and then being them together to find a solution.
they can both be soft and stern in their own ways. Cole is typically softer on them, as he gets to their levels, takes them close while talking, but he has a stern voice and makes it clear he's willing to put a foot down if need be. while Alicent tends to be a bit more formal and stereotypically authoritative, sitting at the table with them, even if she holds their hands in hers and pulls their chairs close so she can stroke their cheeks.
normally the kids can make right up, or at least come to peaceful terms, but if it doesn't, cause kids can hold grudges like no one's business, Alicent and Cole are forced to remain wholly neutral which is much harder than one would think. most of their fights that lead to grudges are very childish so it's really just waiting for them to crack and realize it was a stupid argument. this is made easier when they don't get involved, so they just laugh amongst themselves where the kids can't see them, and try and keep face in front of them (they can smell weakness and betrayal. send help. a 4 kids household isn't easy). they definitely have moments where they wave the white flag cause one of the kids accused them of siding. the "get along" shirt is also an active and well worn member of the family (Aegon and Aemond share it often)
this video is very much Aegon and Daeron. they feud often. they're either acting like Aegon is a second dad to him, or they are actually going to war and have been sworn enemies for generations, fighting a battle to honor their forefathers (Alicent and Criston are so tired). speaking of Aegon being a second dad, he definitely oversees a lot of arguments between Daeron and his friends... does he understand little kid drama? no. is it entertaining as all hell? you fucking bet, he wants to hear all about what little James did at daycare.
when the kids are arguing with them, which with the way they run the house is pretty rare, but not impossible, they first take a step back for themselves. they will never show anger or cruelty towards their kids, so they make sure they're ok before they even think about talking to their kids.
talking will always be their goal, they never want to use threats or punishments to get what they want from their kids, and they have different ways about it. because their kids know how their household works, that things work on their time, and that just being open and honest, they really just need a day or two to themselves, if the reason for arguing isn't time sensitive, and then they can just take it out.
Aegon is sulky, he just closes himself in his room or flees to a friend's house (which they let happen so long as he leaves a note, leaves his location on his phone, and checks in every few hours) if its really bad. he'll drag himself back to the kitchen table in 48 hours tops, wanting nothing more than for his mom and dad to love him again (they never stopped).
Aemond is just frustrated past reason, so he'll go out and fence with his dummy or just something physical, then he's more willing to listen to reason.
Helaena normally had a boundary or nerve pushed, which was normally accidental, either cause she was already frustrated with something or something changed and it just put both parties in bad positions. space is all she needs.
Daeron is a bit of all the above. he's sensitive, though hard to cross, its often more about other things, something his parent did just broke the camels back, so a long run brings everything back to reason.
Alicent and Criston care so much about their kids, every argument they have with their kids, typically one-sided as they refuse to truly yell, breaks their heart whether or not they did anything or not. they never plan to punish their kids for arguing, they were kids once and they know that its good that they feel safe enough to stand up and fight for what they believe to be true, that they feel safe to shout and disagree with them. they would rather that over anything else, cause they know their kids trust them.
while they aren't permissive with their kids, their are rules and hard limits, they don't count arguing as something to be punished, and their kids don't tend to strand into punishable territories. so resolving a fight is a long talk at the kitchen table, no man's land so to speak, where all parties air their grievances. the problem is discussed, apologies are said on all sides, and sometimes it doesn't always end in a hug, but it does end in feelings being soothed and bridges mended. no one walks away with hard feelings.
they're not perfect, but they make it work, and because they've put so much time and effort into making their home safe and sane, the whole family in therapy, making active efforts to be nothing like their first "home" true arguments are far and few between, and when they happen they're equipped to handle it. Alicent and Cole are such good parents, their kids love and trust them, theirs so much space to talk and negotiate and handle issues early on that there typically isn't any reason to fight. I think that's what makes them such a good family, cause its so hard for me to picture them actually fighting outside of petty things.
#I genuinely cannot picture this family fighting#like petty things between the kids or teenage angst hurled at Alicent and Criston that they laugh about a few hours later most definitely#they wouldn't be a family otherwise#but I think that real arguments are rare and I love that for them#definitely strived to find the balance between gentle and authoritative parenting so their kids are well structured#handle all of their problems when they were little and now most issues are easy#cyclebreakers fr fr#they're also all mommy/daddy's girls and boys#all their fights are just big feelings that need to be rode out#Aegon yelling at Criston cause he's young and dumb and hurting cause he got his heart broken at school or cause he had to think about#dead dumb dad and his teenage heart is angry and he needs to put it somewhere? I think yes. I also think he cried in his arms a few hours#later and begged for his dad to love him again. cause they're hopeless#Helaena losing her mind at her parents cause she's just so stressed and everything'd out by the world and they just happened to breathe the#wrong way at dinner? again. I think yes. and she felt so bad afterward and goes on a whole vent about school and people and does some DPT#after letting them both hug her really tight so she could calm down#Aemond getting frustrated cause they're “babying” him over the loss of his eye and just ending up a sobbing screaming mess cause he's just#so mad at the world and he doesn't know what to do with himself#Daeron's head getting too loud so he gets super upset and disregulated and starts yelling in his room. not even at them directly until they#come in. he just loses his shit for a minute until he's tuckered out and then he's a mess in his parents arms#teenage angst is a bitch and the source of everyone's problems#alicole#alicent hightower#criston cole#aegon ii targaryen#aegon targaryen#aemond targaryen#helaena targaryen#daeron targaryen#pro team green#hotd
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vaugarde · 5 months
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terribly sorry for progressively getting more and more annoyed and tired with jn. this show kinda gets a lot more exhausting on a rewatch when you know its not going to get better
#i think what happened when it was airing was that like. it was the direct successor to sun and moon right?#and that was a show EVERYONE shat on when it got revealed. the setting the art change the shift to a goofier style etc etc#but then it aired and aside from some hiccups while adjusting the first few eps- sm turned out to be a joy of a show#not just for a casual watch- you can tune on most episodes without context and just have a pleasant time bc its a cozy show#but also if youre more into the battle scene bc this series kinda goes hard on them#and while the episodes had a goofier tone to them the episodes never felt like they were talking down to its audience#everyone brings up the deaths and how maturely they were handled but seriously- they didnt need to go that hard on the minior episode#and yet- it took fans a long time to really come around to it and stop giving it bad faith criticism#the most popular youtubers were finding every excuse to shit on it and mock the fans#so i think when jn was announced with another slight art shift and a different format- i think we all got a little defensive over it#like hey sm had hiccups too! jn just needs some time to grow into itself and find its footing#and we had no reason to think it wouldn’t. like there were some red flags like how mimey was handled and some clickbait episodes#but we got genuinely nice episodes back then too! the scorbunny eps were neat and ash and gohs intro eps are great#the pichu opening is REALLY strong and i thought it showed a ton of promise for the show#the leon and eternatus stuff was being set up#so i waited for jn to pick up and waved off a lot of criticism as bad faith bc hey. ppl were ruthless to sm and forgetting that we do have t#to work with the limit that its a childrens series. which is fine.#but well…… suddenly we’re in the final arc and its not better. its worse. holy shit did it get worse#episodes like the drizzile one were now the exception. not the rule.#most episodes that are pleasant on a first watch became an absolute slog on a rewatch#the ‘’fanservice’’ feels more like a marketing ploy than an attempt to respect the characters. the production value was a goddamn mess.#entire arcs went unresolved#so it gave me rose tinted glasses until it all fell apart at once for me at the end#but now i have the joyful experience of watching the whole thing through knowing damn good and well it gets worse. yay#echoed voice#jn lb
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pepprs · 1 year
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ok. giving myself 4 minutes to make this post and then i finish my homework. i just am so deeply miserable. i really think i made a mistake. i should not be in grad school. i only took a year between this and undergrad and i am still so burned out and mentally ill. im working full time. im only taking one class and this program is supposed to be so good and aligned with what i want and all of that. but i just cant stand having homework. i just cant stand it. i think i am not cut out for academia even though i work in academia. i think i will never get better as long as im still living at home but i have to get better before i can no longer be living at home but i cant get better until im not living at home and every day i still live at home saps away at my will to live quite literally. i should not have started doing grad school without regaining my will to live. without restoring my love for reading and writing that i used to have voraciously when i was younger and less deeply miserable. without recovering from the burnout. i think i made a mistake. i need a masters degree so bad so that i can be safe but i need to not have fucking homework when i already struggle to get through my days without school. i feel so stuck in my life and hopeless and helpless. i dont know what to do
#purrs#i cant drop out or anything because. lol and this class isnt even that big of a deal like i TRULY am freaking out over nothing. but my life#situation is so bad rn bro like i cant get my parents to take me out to drive and i cant get myself to get my parents to take me out to#drive and every day i am guilt tripped berated etc etc and i feel like i am never ever ever going to be able to have my own life where i a#stable and safe and happy. it can happen for other people except for me and my siblings. i dont know. im not explaining anything well.#i just cant do this. i need to not have this one more thing on my plate but i have to because if i dont have a masters degree in my field i#am nothing even though everyone is telling me that isnt true and all of them are credible but im just so mentally ill i cant believe anyone#and icant accept any advice or hope or whatever good about me i just. am stuck. this is as good as it gets and its not even good.#delete later#that was 7 minutes not 4 and i didnt even write anything substantial. nutshell. i just have been so fucking depressed lately oh my goddddd#this is maybe too strong of a thing to say but like. i know it isnt technically neglect if i am an adult but... i think i may kind of be#neglected by my family in some ways a little bit and always have been but like. emotionally. like in the ways in which im never a priority#and the things i need are seen as burdens etc etc. and theres nothing anyone can do about it even myself because im an adult but like lol.#24 year old dependent moment <3#well there is one thing i can do about it as an adult actually. its called move out. but that requires strength i will#never possess unfortunately due to the inherent flaws in my character and constitution so. guess this is it lawl 🥰#side note (and i swear im done after this lol): i think i was doing a lot better mentally over the summer. funny how when the semester#starts i get depressed and the depression just gets worse and worse until the end of the semester 😻 funny how this is my seventh year like#this. willingly subjecting myself to this. that should be a clue no? but i love my job and if i could just have my job and be stable in it#would be happier but also im lying to mysaelf and i will always be unhappy but its because of my mental illness not my job being bad or#anything its like. i am just sick in the head with impostor syndrome and thats how i got myself into this whole mess. lol#well that and the not moving out thing which is partially my fault but also because i live in hell as described earlier! <3
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cryinghappymeal · 1 year
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Just finished watching "all about lily chou-chou" i saw its gif set and it made me curious
it's... kinda disturbing there and there, i didn't read any synopsis or summary beforehand so i was totally clueless on what it was about.
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It kinda makes me depressed, cuz the MC of this movie—yuichi— is a meek one in a group of a delinquent (but i feel like it's not really by choice, he just tags along and suddenly the friend he's close with becomes a bully) he's the weakling type that can't stand for himself or anyone, one that's in the lowest hierarchy. The kind that's caught in a bad cycle of choices and doesn't really have any choice.
But he's not innocent either. Before the delinquent group was formed, he stole a large amount of money. And then stole again after being a part of the group.
Part of me pity him, but part of me wants to slap him so badly and scream "get it together!!!"
At least until the end of the movie, until that particular scene appears—There you go, yuichi. Wish you'd done it sooner.
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I was not prepared for the heavy bullying scenes. They're pretty disturbing and makes my blood boil. Kinda makes me question my morals too.
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Overall it's good but not the type that I'll watch again. Tipe film yang cukup sekali aja nontonnya.
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marsbotz · 2 months
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biggering…… i miss you
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