#like she thinks she and Steve have connected and bonded at that point

[hellfireloserclub]

For @kaspurrcat . Happy seasonal whatever it is you celebrate at this time of year ! Hope you enjoy your @steddieexchange fic !

Read it on ao3 here

Eddie didn't have a soulmate. He was almost certain of it.

He was almost twenty-two, most soulmates met or crossed paths way before they turned twenty-one.

If he had a soulmate, wouldn't they have shown up by now?

He was pretty sure your soulmate was supposed to show themselves in a near death situation? At this point he was pretty well versed in that department.

He had seen the light. The pearly gates had been calling. He had sacrificed himself for the greater good and all that bullshit, and if you were to believe Wayne, that was a one-way ticket to nirvana.

But the big guy upstairs had kicked him back to the mortal realm with little to no ceremony. He had followed the voices, like a good boy. You know the way they had preached each Sunday at church when he was knee high to a grasshopper. But instead of fluffy clouds and dudes playing harps, the voices had led him back to the blood red skies of the Upside Down.

Maybe he hadn't gotten a free pass after all.

Waking up in Steve Harrington's arms once was an anomaly, his stupidly honest big brown eyes pleading for Eddie to be alright. It wasn’t the worst experience in the world, at least someone other than Dustin had been there to put his insides back in the right place.

The second time Eddie came back from the dead under Steve Harrington's capable hands, it was just getting weird.

Harrington was like a cockroach; you couldn't kill him, but did he have to always be there when Eddie was on the brink of death?

The pair of them really needed to stop jumping head first into lovers lake, it never ended well for either of them. It was getting to where he was pretty sure his near-death experiences were more near Steve experiences these days.

Now if you were to believe the textbooks and the mushy romance novels… the love of Eddie's life should have been the one to bring him back from the brink.

Not Steve ‘king of the hair’ Harrington.

So in Eddie's defense, he was pretty sure that his soulmate just didn't exist.

She would have turned up by now right? Some universal bond tying him to the earthly realm.

He would have some sort of mark, something that tied them together, but he didn't.

All he had was scars.

Scars, nightmares, and a Knight in denim armor in the form of Steve Harrington. Someone he now got to count as one of his closest friends.

So when anyone asked him about it -why he still hasn't found his other half- he told them it didn't matter. Because it really didn't. The world was a big place, there was every chance your soulmate didn't even live in the same town, city, state… hell they might not even live on the same continent.

So it didn't matter. Eddie didn't have a soulmate. Eddie didn't care.

Only he did.

Ever since he came back from the dead the second time, (He really hoped he wouldn't have to make it a third time and that this time Vecna really stayed dead) Eddie had become obsessed with the concept of soulmates. Fascinated by the way the universe decided who was the other half of your soul and how that bond manifested. He had notebook after notebook on the subject. Read every book he could get his hands on copying paragraph after paragraph into his swooping scrawl.

He observed the people in his life like they were a nature documentary, then when his brain had processed the information he recorded it in his notes.

If he had been this thorough in high school, he might have graduated first time around.

He watched as Hopper and Joyce re-connected a soul bond that had formed back when they were teens.

Joyce would regale them whenever she got a drink in her hand, that something had pulled her to keep looking for Hopper when he disappeared. Not that same drive that had made everyone think she was crazy when Will disappeared, it was something else. It was the feeling of being tugged in a direction but not knowing where to go. A buzz in her mind that told her that Hop wasn't dead. It was the same feeling she had back when they Upside Down had come knocking the first time, but this time it was tenfold.

(Eddie wished he had someone who would always keep looking for him, it would be nice not to feel lost )

Lucas had instinctively known what Max had needed all the way through her time in the hospital, even when she was three floors above them and deep in a coma.

In her time of healing, he formed the echoes of her wounds and ever since any minor cut or blemish showed on the others skin when they hurt themselves.

Max learning to skate again had ended up with Lucas looking like he had fallen out of a tree. But he wore his bruises and scrapes with pride and they faded a lot faster than the ones that the car park had created outside of Maldives.

(The only wounds that showed on his skin these days were paper cuts from all his notebooks and the occasional burn to the tip of his finger. His mind wandered when he smoked and he must burn them down to the filter more often than he noticed. )

Nancy and Jonathan had manufactured soul marks, twin cuts on their palms that had been their own doing, a bond made rather than given, born through trauma and blood. Since they had reunited that bond had grown stronger.

It must have sucked to be Harrington, Eddie had been routing for him. As far as Eddie could see Steve was head over heels for Nancy, at least he had been back then.

But Jon and Nancy’s bond is forged in blood. The strongest of the soul bonds, made from sacrifice. Sure Steve had thrown himself in front of the jaws of death a million times, but not in the same way as Nancy and Jon had that first time.

(Eddie thought about it every time he looked at the scar on his arm from when he and Steve had cut themselves to lure the Demodogs away from the hospital and towards lovers lake. He still can’t believe his stupid plan worked. He had been in no fit state to be trying to run for his life again, but had been back on his feet enough to lure the drooling monsters away from Max’s door. But it had worked, and it had worked well. Right until something pulled him and Steve to the bottom of the lake again, but Eddie's plans rarely had an exit strategy, getting out was an afterthought.)

Eddie had wondered why the trauma that Robin and Steve went through hadn’t marked them. Normally five drinks deep and high as a kite he would ask them, the weird little third wheel that he was.

But whenever Eddie brought it up Steve would go quiet, and Robin would tell Eddie that when you only had one brain between you both, sharing a soul wouldn’t be the best idea.

Steve would get fidgety and rub absentmindedly at his neck, then mutter about soulmates being ridiculous, anyway. He rubbed that scar a lot, whenever he was nervous, whenever he was deep in thought.

Eddie wondered if it tingled and itched the way his own did, late at night when he was lying alone and pining for something he didn't seem to have.

Maybe notorious ladies’ man Harrington had the same problem as Eddie?

It wasn't unheard of to lose a soulmate, and Hawkins had a high body count.

Wayne had never met the other half of his soul, that little tug of fate had never come calling and Wayne was fine, Wayne was happy. At least that's what Eddie thought, it was sometimes hard to read his old man's expression and because he was a man of few words; it wasn't like they were ever going to go all deep and meaningful over it.

But just this once Eddie felt like he would like to be normal. He was getting kind of sick and tired of being the anomaly. He could deal with being the freak, but on his terms. When it came to this, to the matter of his very soul, it would be nice to be a little sheepee instead of the big bad wolf.

*************

Eddie flexed his arm in the breakroom mirror, his new ink had healed nicely.

Gareth had suggested a trip into the big city when he was back from college for Thanksgiving, and who was Eddie to deny one of his oldest friends anything?

It was an act of split second decision to swing into the tattoo parlor. Garath wanted, and Eddie was weak willed and easily led.

The guy had done a good job; he left with his bats touched up and looking a lot less like they had been chewed up by the demonic version of their best selves. The stick and poke version was long gone, replaced by the forking tails of the beasts that had given him the gnarly flesh wounds he was now trying to make a distant memory.

It was nice to look in the mirror and not instantly be reminded of skin grafts and trauma, to see bits of himself rising to the surface.

Yeah maybe the bats had been a bit on the nose, but he had read enough Batman comics to learn to embrace the thing that scared him.

It was helping to hold on to at least one bit of his own identity. He was not enjoying being part of the corporate grind, even if that corporate grind was lugging boxes around and stacking shelves in Family Video alongside Steve. Battle vest traded in for the forest green monstrosity that did nothing for his complexion.

The only thing it had going for it was the fact that he could wear whatever the hell he liked under the thing as long as he toned it down when head office showed up.

After all, he was friends with the boss.

Life was serene when Steve was the boss, especially when he was willing to rotate the staff around Hellfire, important Party business and Eddie’s inability to function on anything that looked or acted like a schedule.

Right now the man in question was watching him from the door, arms crossed in irritation as he tapped his foot in agitation.

“You look hot Munson, Sexiest thing I’ve ever seen in a work vest, now can we please, get a move on.” Steve bitched as he checked the time on his watch again.

“Buckley isn’t back for at least another hour and a half, what's the rush sweetheart?” Eddie said over his shoulder as he pulled his sweater back down over his hands and threw his vest in the staff's corner room where it would have to rot till his next shift.

“We have to pick up the tree from Hoppers before we go get her and I wanted to catch my parents before they fly out to my Gran’s for the holidays-”

“They leaving you here again?” Eddie asked sceptically, as he pulled on his jacket, not that he didn’t like the Harrington's; they had been nothing but nice to him. He just wished that once in a while they would put Steve before whatever flight of fancy his mother took, or the business trips his dad couldn’t be trusted to take alone.

“I told them I didn’t want to go, I haven’t seen Robin in over a month, and I have work. Pair that with the fact that I really can’t be bothered with my Gran lecturing me on how disappointed she is in me I took the get out of jail free card . This way I get to see your cheerful face throughout this festive season.” Steve said, patting Eddie on both cheeks.

Steve had a way of getting under Eddie's skin like nobody else, if anyone else tried to baby him like this he would bite them. Verbally or physically depending on who it was, although he did try to rein in his strangeness these days, at least in public, but not around Steve, he snapped after Steve's fingers as he pulled them away.

“Yeah, but now… I get to feel guilty about the fact you're rocking around that great big house of yours on your own on the big day, baby… pretty thing like you shouldn’t be alone on Christmas.” Eddie said as he followed Steve towards the door. Getting as close as he dares to really irritate the man. It was too early to close the store, they both knew that, but who was going to tell them off? Steve?

Trying to irritate him didn’t work, as soon as they were at the door Steve halted and Eddie plowed right into his back, causing the other man to laugh and reach out and steady him.

“Careful.” Steve said as he reached around him to flip the sign, pulled his packet of Malbrough out of his pocket and gently pushed Eddie out the door.

It was a well-practiced thing now, the first smoke at the end of the shift. If they were picking up Robin soon, it might be the last one Steve had for a while. Robin’s wrath at them smoking around her wasn’t worth the nicotine fix.

Eddie watched as the other man went through his routine, lighting two cigarettes in his own mouth then passing one to Eddie, he let Steve place it between his lips no questions asked.

Steve seemed to mill something over in his mind as he took his first deep huff of smoke.

“I’m not going to be alone, I’ll be at Henderson’s, just like you no doubt, because I’m sure as hell that Uncle Wayne refused to take the day off.”

“Stubborn as a mule, and just as predictable.” Eddie grumbled.

“Uncle Wayne or you?” Steve asked, blowing small smoke circles in the air. The sight momentarily hypnotized Eddie, unable to take his eyes away from the way Steve twisted his tongue to get the shapes right.

“You don’t have to call him Uncle, we've been through this.” Eddie groused as he ashed his own cigarette, before opening his side of the truck and climbing behind the driver's seat.

“Yeah I know, but he won’t let me call him Sir and he keeps telling me if I call him Mr. Munson, I’m not allowed in the apartment.” Steve lamented as they drove out of the car park and turned towards the forest. “I know for a fact that Mama Claudia would never leave you and Wayne out when she invited all the strays around for lunch, because she’s incapable of not looking after a lost cause.”

“Does this mean I have to get you a gift?” Eddie asked as they idled at a red light, the snow falling slowly outside adding an element of whimsy to the traitorous conditions. He took his last draw of his smoke and stubbed it out in his ashtray, eyes half on the road, half on his closest friend in the passenger seat. He looked good today, all ruddy cheeked and wind swept, even if his signature hair hid underneath a black wool hat that he had stolen from Eddie last time he was at the apartment.

“You mean you haven’t already?” Steve pouted from the passenger seat, angel and bastard all rolled into one being. “I thought I was a kept man?”

“Whores will have their trinkets.” Eddie lamented and Steve punched him in the arm.

“Strong words when you're the only one who’s had a date in months.” Steve grumbled waving his cigarette around in Eddie’s direction. It was almost burned to the filter, and Eddie wondered if Steve was determined to enjoy every bit before Robin got here, or if he had just forgotten he was smoking it like usual.

“Failed date’s Harrington. Failed dates. I’m an accused murderer, at least I have an excuse for striking out. What’s your excuse?” God the light was taking forever to change, Eddie rubbed his hand along the raised bumps of his steering wheel, the action burning friction to the tips of his fingers, the warmth welcomed against the bitterness of the snow.

“I’m just not interested? I dunno, I just…” Steve trailed off, rubbing absentmindedly at his right arm. “Maybe I’m just caught up on something I can’t have, keep sabotaging myself before I’ve even gotten them out the front door.”

“You got your eye on someone?” Eddie asked. Steve had mentioned no one recently, he hadn’t even really tried to hit on any of the women that clearly were flirting with him when they came into the store.

“Is it someone I know?”

“He is yeah.” Steve said quietly, so quiet Eddie was sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it.

Steve made a fuss of stubbing out his cigarette, raising his hand to his mouth where he had ignited the filter and it had caught his skin. It was quick and Eddie almost missed it but Steve looked over to him as Eddie inhaled quickly, a warmth spreading through him he couldn’t quite put a finger on, even if that was where it had started.

“He?” he asked carefully, aware that how he handled this was going to make or break this strange friendship that both he and Steve had cultivated. He didn’t want Steve to think he was about to punch him in the face.

“He.” Steve said again, rubbing at his arm with a little more persistence. “But you know, small town Indiana. So the chance of him liking me back? It’s like the chances of something coming from Mars…so what? A million to one? So like…” He waved his hand about weakly. This wasn’t the time to point out that Steve had definitely been spending too much time with him and Dustin.

“So is he like… You know.. Your soulmate?” Eddie asked, wishing the light would hurry and change color so he could make himself concentrate on the road.

“I had a feeling he was. But it was sort of confirmed the other week. But who knows, maybe I’m just clutching at straws. I don’t think he knows, or if he does, he's said nothing.” Steve said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Maybe he knows and just doesn't care, that’s always an option.”

That made something twist in Eddie’s stomach, he had been so sure that Steve, like himself, was destined not to find his soulmate. But knowing that he had found him, and they didn't want him back?

It was making Eddie’s insides knot with jealousy and rage and he didn’t like the taste of it on his tongue.

“Maybe he’s scared? Or maybe he’s just an idiot, or he just hasn’t released? I mean Maybe he’s not looking for a dude? Although I dunno, how anyone could spend five minutes with you and not love you Stevie. You just need to turn on that Harrington charm right?” Eddie asked as the lights finally changed color and he could drag his eyes away from the worried expression that was plastered on Steve’s face now.

“I've tried, he's oblivious.” Steve said weakly, he sounded so defeated it was making Eddie’s heart ache.

This was why Eddie had given up, he never wanted to sound that sad over something that was outside of his own control.

He chanced a glance in Steve’s direction; he was chewing on his finger now, red from the burn and now the irritation of Steve’s tongue and lips.

“It doesn’t bother you… that I’m…that I like…”

“That, you like dicks?” Eddie asked, almost unable to keep the nervous laughter out of his voice. He didn’t have a problem with it, it had just thrown him, he hadn’t expected it from ladies’ man Steve.

“Dunno never tried it. I was gonna say dudes, but you just gotta make it weird right?” Steve said with a depreciated laugh. Eddie couldn’t let that slide. Steve was a saint, he didn’t get to belittle himself, not on Eddie’s watch.

“King of the freaks, remember? It’s my job to be weird, it happens by default. Anyway, who am I to ever stop anyone from being the best version of themself? Plus, if you’re gay that means more women for me right?” Eddie said, focusing on trying to find the turnoff to Hoppers through the now dense falling snow.

“Not gay.” Steve said as he tapped him on the arm and pointed to the turn in the road that Eddie had almost missed.

“You just told me your soulmate is a dude and that you like dicks…. Sounds pretty gay to me Stevie.” Eddie reasoned as carefully turned onto the wood-lined drive to the Hoppers- Byers cabin.

“You know you can like both women and men right?” Steve asked quietly as he zipped his coat tighter at the sight of Hopper and Jane waiting for them with a pre-cut tree. “There’s a word for it, but we all know how bad I am with words. Robin will be able to tell you later, but yeah.. Whatever that is? That's me, so, I just…” Steve seemed to sink into himself more lost in the many folds of his oversized jacket.

Eddie said nothing as he parked up. Processing what Steve had just told him? Both? That creature that lived in him paced, trying to process this new knowledge. Eddie tried to soothe it, this wasn’t the time, he could look at that new information later when Steve wasn’t spilling his heart out to him in a snowstorm.

They were both about to get out when he reached over and grabbed Steve’s arm, warmth running through him when Steve didn’t pull away.

“Thankyou for telling me, you didn’t have to-”

“-But I wanted to.” Steve said with a weak smile as he stepped out into the building storm.

*********

Robin and Steve had fallen straight into that silent communication that Eddie still didn't get but reluctantly admitted was kind of cute in a twisted way.

He preferred no words better than the hushed conversations the two of them were having in the back seat, keeping voices low so the sound of the truck kept their secrets.

After their earlier conversation, he and Steve hadn’t really circled back around to the earth shattering revelation that Steve’s soulmate was a guy.

It felt like with this new knowledge about Steve, Eddie’s world view was changing.

To be fair, his world view had changed a lot since 86, that ladies’ man Steve also liked guys was really pretty far down on the list of life shattering revelations.

Yet Eddie was confused why the thought of it was giving him palpitations. The idea was sitting heavily in his chest and in his head and it was just as well he had to keep his eyes on the road because he knew if he didn’t he was likely to dwell on his new factoid and spiral down a rabbit hole he wasn’t sure he would get out of soon.

Every so often Eddie would glance at the two people in the back seat, covertly of course, the wonder of the rear-view mirror.

Steve was showing Robin something, his body twisted so that Eddie couldn’t make out what it was. He couldn't make out what they were saying with a quirk of the eyebrow and a knowing glance, no matter how good he had gotten at reading the expressions of the two weirdos behind him.

Was Steve telling Robin the thing that had confirmed to Steve that the person he thought was his soulmate was actually his soulmate?

Eddie turned the music up to give the two of them more privacy.

Steve would share his revelation with him when he was ready. If he was ever ready to.

As he turned towards Loch Nora, Eddie felt the mood change in the car.

That ache was back, it sat heavy in his chest, a longing for something he couldn’t have.

He couldn't work out why it snuck up on him like this, more and more when he least expected it.

When he glanced in the mirror again Steve was watching him. Robin curled into his side as she talked animatedly.

It was easy to see why people thought the two of them were a couple, joined at the hip, mirrors of each other in almost every way, now that Steve liked guys, that just added to the reflection.

“I heard dingus told you his good news?” Robin asked, leaning forward and resting herself between the two front chairs. It would annoy Eddie that one of them hadn’t just rode up front with him. But he knew the two of them had to fuze together as soon as possible when reunited, and it really wouldn’t have been safe for both of them to squash themselves into the front seat, at least not with the snow coming down like it was now.

“The whole, doubling his chances of absolutely foul balling his relationships?” Eddie asked as they passed the now entering Hawkins sign. “Yeah, he mentioned it.”

“And?”

“And what? I don’t have an issue with it if that’s what you're asking?”

“So you are cool with him being Bisexual-”

“That’s it Bisexual! How the hell did I not remember that?” Steve complained from the back seat.

“Doesn’t bother me what or who he sticks his dick in, or you know… the other way around.” Eddie had to really concentrate not to swerve the car as Robin smacked him in the arm. HARD.

In the back seat Steve yelped, Eddie figured Robin must have kicked him or something, but he couldn’t see past Robin in his rear-view mirror.

“Why are you both so revolting? Like seriously, what did I do to be stuck with the pair of you?”

“You love us both Bucks, don’t be giving us that.” Eddie reprimanded.

“God, you are like a bonded pair now. How am I supposed to prosper in this kind of environment?” Robin grumbled, throwing herself back into the back seat with a huff. “Why has the universe cursed me with two absolute numbskulls as best friends?”

“Hey! Less of the numbskulls.” Steve complained. “My dumbness is all the concussions. I’m sure you have plenty of opportunities to prosper at all the wild parties you go to. Not my fault you left me to spread your wild oats or whatever it is you get up to in that fancy school of yours.”

“You would know what I get up to if you ever ventured further than Indianapolis.” Robin sniped back. “But you two seem to have made roots here. When was the last time the two of you went over three days without seeing each other?”

“We work together Robs, I don't think that's fair…” Steve started arguing, but Eddie had turned his attention back to the road, the snow was coming down harder now, it gave him time to think about Robin's question.

When was the last time the two of them had spent more than three days apart?

Maybe when Wayne and Eddie had gone on that fishing trip?

Sometimes Eddie spent more time with Steve than he did with Wayne, and they still lived together.

Often when Steve's parents were away, Eddie would crash at Steve’s house, wherever they landed was where they slept. He had shared a bed with Steve Harrington more times than any other living being.

Hu? Now he thought about it, maybe he really was permanently in Steve’s space. He really had fallen into the gap that Robin had left behind that easily. Her old job, her place at Steve's side, her place in Steve's bed.

Eddie had never been like that with any of his other friends as far as he could remember. Maybe when he was little and Wayne had let him sleep over at Jeff's, but they had slept top to tail.

But the first time Steve had grunted at him to ‘just stay put man,’ when he had moved to get up and move himself to the guest room, Eddie hadn’t fought it, he had just settled back in and let Steve get comfortable against his side again.

Steve needed it. Eddie knew he wasn't sleeping well again. And after that first time it had just been a thing that happened. He hadn't questioned it .

Maybe Robin had a point.

Steve had become such an integral part of Eddie’s routine and he hadn’t even noticed it happening.

That led to the question: who was the mysterious man who had imprinted on Steve and left his mark? Because Eddie would have to be aware of them right? If they were always together it wasn’t like a stranger had walked in and whisked him off his feet.

The mysterious man of Steve's dreams itched like an irritation that Eddie couldn't quite reach, and when he looked in the rearview again, it didn’t surprise him to see Steve staring back at him.

**************

“Season’s greetings and salutations.” Eddie said as he darted into the kitchen to get the dustpan and brush to pick up the pine leaves trailing from the front door to the corner next to the fire.

Mr. Harrington looked every bit his son when he shook his head and the small smile creeped upon his face, it was a testament to how often Eddie was in the house that the older man hadn’t even questioned his presence in his humble abode.

Not that you could call the Harrington home humble, it was every bit the show home that Steve’s mom had intended it to be. Mrs. Harrington would have a conniption if she ever visited Wayne’s place, the only interior design magazine that had ever entered the place was being used to prop up the corner of the wonky coffee table.

Ironically, it was the one that featured Mrs. Harrington on page three with her newest grand design.

Perks of being married to an editor, Eddie supposed. But hey, if it stopped him losing his cereal to the floor in the morning it had its uses.

“I thought you were both on the close tonight?” Mr. Harrington asked as Eddie grabbed the cleaning things.

“We were.” He started, and the rest came out in a rush as he rummaged through the cupboard for cleaning stuff, but Richard Harrington seemed to keep up. “But you're leaving tonight and Steve wanted to see you before you left and we had to pick up Robin from the bus station, ‘cause her parents aren't back until ten. There was no way I was letting Steve try to drive the Beemer in this. And then I was roped into getting the tree from Hoppers with him, because that couldn’t have waited till tomorrow, and him and Robin have left a trail of destruction in their wake,” Eddie waved the brush around to show his intentions and the reason for his rush of words, “So you know, I’m left to tidy up that mess… and that’s why, if anyone from head office calls, the snow took the power out.”

Richard Harrington had a pleasant laugh, sweet like honey, another thing he shared with his son. That Eddie had noticed that made the twisting in his chest churn again.

He really needed to look at that a bit more. It couldn't be good.

“I take it that if I walk into my lounge I'm going to be bombarded with Christmas cheer?” He asked, the grin getting bigger.

“Alas, just a naked tree, apparently your grandchildren need to be present to festoon its mighty branches with glitter and gold.” Eddie said sagely. “And that I believe is my punishment tomorrow as I think I’ve displeased his lordship.”

“Ah, just as well Lenore stocked the candy and soda up for the festivities.” Richard said sagely as he sipped his coffee. Eddie knew what was coming next, it was Richard Harrington’s current new obsession. “Have you thought about writing that book yet?”

“Ah, Mr. H, you know I can't spell for shit…”

“And I keep telling you that's what one of my editors is for. Tell me you will at least think about it again over Christmas?” Richard asked, and oh great. There was that pleading look Steve used to get Eddie to do a lot of the heavy lifting. It wasn't as effective when it was blue eyes doing the requesting, it was easier to say no to Richard.

“I'll think about it.” Eddie said as the sound of Mrs. Harrington descending the stairs caused Richard to jump to his feet.

“Good, I just want Steve's-” he cut himself off looking sheepish. It was another one of Steve's traits that he shared with his dad, no brain to mouth filter, Steve was always putting his foot in his mouth, especially around the kids.

Still, Eddie really wanted to know what was at the end of that sentence.

“Steve's what?” Eddie asked just as Lenore Harrington joined them in the kitchen trailing a suitcase behind her that her husband was quick to take off her hands so he could ignore Eddie's question.

“Oh hello Eddie dear, did I hear Steve and Robin?” Lenore asked with a quick hug as she passed en route to the lounge, she didn’t wait for an answer as she sashayed past with an elegance that Steve had not inherited.

“Lenore’s mother is a bit of a drama queen,” Richard said as he followed Eddie and his brush to the hallway. “She’s been on the phone several times already tonight asking us to try to convince Steve and his lovely young lady to come with us.” he explained as Eddie swept up the fallen pine leaves.

“By young lady, I take it she means Robin?” Eddie asked as Richard added the case to the pile by the door.

“Yes. She’s rather old-fashioned Steven’s grandmother, I don’t think she really understands the dynamic between the two of them. She nearly had a heart attack when I moved her precious socialite daughter to Hawkins of all places.” Richard said with a little chuckle to himself. “I keep trying to convince her to come visit, she never does, I would love to see her face when she meets you.”

Eddie didn’t know how to take that, unsure if it was meant as an insult or a complement. Mr. Harrington didn’t seem to notice though as he followed Eddie as he swept the entire trail of pine needles away.

“Dad, are you trying to get Eddie to sign to your label again?” Steve asked as he broke free of his mother’s hug. Evidently the conversation had carried from the kitchen, either that or Steve’s mother was whispering in his ear again.

“Just looking after my future interests Steven. Eddie has talent and he would be an excellent addition to the Harrington family, or do the two of you really intend on spending the prime of your life negotiating late fees for someone else's business?”

“I’m happy if you are Eds?” Steve said as he gave his dad a quick hug, “Some of us aren’t built for jet setting around the world. Well, I’m sure, given half the chance Eddie would be off like a shot as long as it involved his guitar-,”

“I’d always have room for you as my glamorous assistant Stevie, you know this.” Eddie said as he brushed around the base of the tree where the worst of the needles had fallen.

“See what I mean? You can’t separate them, you know, a bit like freezer burned burgers or that weird black mold in the back of the fridge.” Robin piped up from her perch on the end of the sofa. “The longer I’m away, the more tragic their bond becomes.” She lamented, popping a marshmallow in her mouth and chewing it, never once dropping her menacing smile.

Lenore laughed as she pulled on her big winter coat. “Last chance to change your mind, you and Eddie are welcome to join us?”

“See, even you are treating them like a unit. I feel like I’ve been replaced. Have I been replaced, Steve?” Robin huffed as Steve dropped on the sofa next to her, he shot her with a loaded look, and Eddie suddenly felt like whatever conversation the two of them had been having in the car needed to be continued, possibly louder and possibly involving a fair bit of bitching.

Eddie was not stupid enough to get caught in the crossfire of that.

“As much as I appreciate the offer of getting out of dodge for the festive season, Wayne likes to have me about, and I feel like Mr. Harrington needs a few days off trying to wrangle his next big book deal.” Eddie said, handing the dustpan and brush to Steve to finish what Eddie had started.

“Speaking of Wayne, I should get home, I want to see him before he goes on to shift, so I better hit the road.”

Eddie couldn’t read the expression on Steve’s face, but he could tell that Robin was biting her lip to hold back whatever was on her mind. No doubt he was going to get sounded out as soon as he turned up at Steve’s tomorrow. There was no point in fighting the inevitable.

Eddie grabbed his coat and followed Mr. and Mrs. Harrington out to the cars, helping with the bags like the good little boy scout he was.

“Eddie?” Mr. Harrington asked just as he turned to jump back in his truck. Eddie spun on the spot, no matter how much he got on with the Harrington’s he was still deep down aware of the class divide. Permanently torn between needing to fight the hierarchy and knowing that there wasn’t a threat.

“Yeah, Mr. H?” Eddie asked as he pulled his coat tighter around himself.

Richard stepped closer, making sure that his wife couldn’t see him from the car.

“Can you keep an eye on Steve over the next few days? Something’s been up with him these last few weeks and he won’t tell me or his mother what it is.” He asked, and it made Eddie feel a little worried that Steve’s dad was coming to him out of all of his friends to watch him.

“I mean, Robin is back, she will get whatever it is out of him-” Eddie started, not wanting to share the secret that Steve had shared with him, not if Steve hadn’t shared it with his parents yet.

“But you know him best. Just, I don’t know, maybe he will tell you what’s wrong?” Richard said, gripping him on the shoulder and giving it a tight fatherly squeeze.

For the second time that night, Eddie felt like the rug was being pulled out from under him. First Steve telling him about his soulmate and now Richard Harrington saying that Eddie knew Steve best? Robin was right there, and when Steve’s soulmate finally made himself known the two of them would probably descend in the ranks. Although Eddie very much doubted that he would ever outrank Robin in that department.

“Yeah, alright, I will talk to him.” Eddie agreed, the feeling of being watched itched at him. His scar on his neck aching slightly with the cold. “You best get going if this snow gets worse they might ground the flight.”

“True, very true.” Richard said, moving his hand away, waving towards the house as he stepped back to the car. “Merry Christmas Eddie. Think about that book again please.” He said as he got in the car.

When the engine started Eddie moved away to get in his own truck, but not before looking back to the house to see who had been on the receiving end of the wave.

Steve stood in the window, backlit by the harsh overhead light, but it was clear to see he was watching Eddie, his hand resting against his neck.

They held eye contact for a moment before Steve waved and pulled the curtains shut.

Whatever that was about, Eddie would not look at it too hard right now.

Right now he needed to get home to Wayne, then later he could unpack the cluster fuck that had been the last twelve hours.

*************

Ever since Eddie had been old enough to fend for himself over Christmas, Wayne had taken the crap shifts over the holidays. The money was better, often double or triple time, and the two of them weren’t exactly in a place to say no to that back in the day. Now Wayne did the shifts so that the people with little kids could have it off, because that was just the sort of self sacrificing fool that the guy was. After all, Eddie had to get it from someone.

So Wayne had left him in the early hours of Christmas Eve, and Eddie had all the intentions in the world of getting himself to bed and maybe getting some much needed sleep.

Unfortunately, Eddie’s mind had other ideas.

He had finally nodded off just after 6am, his books and notebooks scattered around him as he went through all his notes on soulmates trying to itch that scratch in his brain that was triggered earlier by Steve in the car.

He couldn’t work out how Steve could have met his soulmate, not if he was close enough to them to have confirmed his suspicions in the last few weeks. He was pretty sure that was the strangeness that Mr. Harrington had noticed, and now Eddie was trying to work out if he had seen Steve acting weird around anyone they knew.

Eddie had run through every interaction that they'd had with people since thanksgiving. Maybe it was the new delivery driver? He was cute, if you were into the blond hair and blue eye’s thing. He had muscular arm’s and with all the lifting he did day in day out, and he looked like he was probably a jock in high school. Maybe that was Steve’s type?

What was Steve’s type, anyway? Now that Eddie was looking at it, he wasn’t even sure Steve had a type he jumped around between the Molly Ringwalds and the Sigourney Weaver of this world, but did that apply to guys too?

Was it Jeff? It was a possibility he supposed; they had hung out a bit recently, but Eddie was pretty sure that Jeff was head over ass for the girl that worked at the drive in.

Maybe it was the guy that worked the ticket booth at the drive in? The punk guy that got Eddie's heckles up every time he lent his slutty little waist up against the Beemer.

That would just be a crying shame, Steve lowering himself to the crushing on a punk.

He might have to rethink the whole friendship if Steve ended up being soulmates with someone whose musical taste revolved around only three chords.

The kicker though came when Eddie realized how much the whole thing was upsetting him. And the more he looked at it, the more he was realizing that he wasn't sure where the jealousy was coming from.

His knee jerk reaction had been that he was jealous that Steve had found his soulmate. But now?

Now he was questioning if it wasn't something more, if he wasn't jealous of the fact that Steve had feelings for another man and that man wasn't Eddie himself.

It was making Eddie question everything he knew about himself.

Because he couldn’t say he hadn't looked at other guys. He couldn't stand up and honestly say he hadn't seen photos of Ozzy and felt something more than an admiration for the man.

Did he have a crush on Ozzy Osborne? That would explain a few of the more questionable dreams.

So that opened up another question.

Did he have a crush on Steve?

It was certainly a possibility.

The two of them were constantly in each other's orbit, and they flirted like it was a second language that they were more than fluent in. Only now Eddie wasn’t sure that he hadn’t meant all the things he had been dishing out to Steve on the daily for the last few years.

If would explain the gut churning and the ache he was currently feeling at the thought of Steve having found his soulmate.

What had Robin called it? Bisexual.

Steve liked women and men, apparently that was a thing.

Was that a thing that could apply to Eddie?

He definitely liked women, that was a given, if he was to believe Steve he was getting the most action out of the two of them.

Although Eddie had hit a dry spell that was embarrassing even for a self confessed nerd like himself.

It had been at least nine months since he had to find excuses to sneak out of anyone's bed rather than face the awkward next day conversations.

He had been striking out lately, turning down dates when Steve asked him to hang out, Eddie was running over his last few dates in his head, had he been sabotaging them because they weren't Steve?

The more he looked at it the more likely it seemed.

Eddie knew he was spiraling. Knew if he could just sound out the busy thoughts in his head to someone, he might make them make sense. But the person he would normally run to was the source of his confusion and that left him nowhere to turn.

This definitely wasn't the thing that he and Wayne were finally having that big heart to heart over.

“Yeah Wayne, I think I'm in love with Steve.” even in his head it made him want to cringe and hide away.

Love ?

Oh fuck right off, it wasn't love.

It couldn't be love if he only just realized it was a viable option right ?

Only it wasn't, was it?

Steve had a soulmate. Eddie didn't.

It would be a match made to fail even if there was the smallest chance that Steve liked him back.

Maybe he should just keep his distance?

The idea of not seeing Steve made him ache in a way that he recognized now, it made him feel sick but now he understood what it meant.

And that made it a million times worse.

He had a joint and tried to make his brain stop for just a moment, and it must have worked.

The next thing he knew someone's car was grumbling to life outside in the street and sunlight was streaming through the window.

***********

His new resolution to stay away from Steve hadn't lasted long.

The snow had fallen again during his existential crisis last night and the world seemed merry and bright. Or as bright as it could be when all Eddie wanted for Christmas was an interdimensional rift to open under his feet and the demobats to go three for three on his earthly demise.

Steve had given them both the day off, perks of being the boss, and Eddie had expected to be one of the first to show up at the Harrington home to set about operation Christmas. Yet when he crunched up the driveway his own footprints got lost in the imprints left by the hoard that had evidently already descended. The kids having their own wheels these days was making him feel old .

He let himself in, Steve had left it unlocked to save him the hassle of having to keep getting up every person who pounded on the door.

Not that it would have mattered if the door was still locked. Eddie had a key.

That was another thing to add to his list of confusing things that had happened between him and Steve.

Steve had given him a key in the middle of the night when the nightmares got too bad. He could get in without waking the whole Harrington clan. If Steve rang him in a broken down state Eddie would drive over and let himself in, climb the stairs and hold Steve until he calmed.

Eddie didn't mind, more often than not he was in the same messed up state.

Trembling in the quiet of his and Wayne's new apartment, that would never feel like a home in the way the trailer had.

Steve's parents knew, they didn't seem phased by it.

Not in the way Eddie was sure they should when a guy who was once a wanted murderer wanders down from their son's bedroom first thing in the morning, sleep rumpled and looking for coffee.

It was all a little overfamiliar, and Eddie wasn’t sure how he was supposed to deal with someone else taking that place in Steve's life. Was this how Robin felt when she left for college? Because if it was Eddie understood the tears and the mini breakdown now. It was completely justified.

The absolute chaos he had expected greeted him as he crossed the threshold.

The kids had commandeered the job of dressing the tree. Max was yelling, bossing the boys about as was her God given right, and Will was trying and failing to get the others to decorate the back of the tree as well as the front.

It hung limply towards them threatening a topple under the weight of the many brightly colored baubles and static fairy lights, a pale comparison to the fluffy tree that Eddie and the four armed Steve-Robin beast had blundered through the door the night before.

Max looked just about ready to smack Lucas and Mike with her cane, just to get Will and her point across.

Jane sat on the sofa, a bastion of calm as her and Erica slid popcorn onto string making garlands, eating just as much as they threaded on the needle.

Apart from the ruckus, it made quite the sweet Christmas scene, even with the chaos unfolding.

The kids all had matching sweaters on, no doubt courtesy of Dustin’s mom. Eddie's hunch was confirmed when Robin walked up to him and dumped a neatly wrapped package in his arms.

“Claudia is trying to make this into a thing, and she scares me sooooooo….” Robin said, looking at the two bags of presents that Eddie had brought with him. He wished he had hung fire and left Steve and Robin's gifts in the car. Because Steve was right, he had bought him something pretty and now he was sure it was a stupid idea .

“You gotta be kidding me”

Steve's voice piped up from behind them, and now Eddie had the inkling, he knew exactly what that skip in his heart meant.

“Dustin, stop. You're going to pull the damn thing down, you already stripped the bottom two branches, and Eddie spent ages picking the needles up last night.”

Steve rushed past them both, carefully depositing the tray of hot chocolates on the coffee table as he passed. Erica and Jane wasted no time in grabbing the ones with the most marshmallows whilst the rest of the party were occupied.

Steve Reached out and secured the tree while the others removed some of the heavy ornaments that were causing it to buckle and bow.

“The children never listen.” Robin said sagely as she relieved Eddie of his bag and nudged the present in his hand, indicating he should probably open it.

Eddie was too distracted though, he couldn't stop looking at Steve. It was the first time he had seen him since he had come to terms with the recent development in his life and he was mentally kicking himself for not realizing what any of the obvious feelings he had for Steve had been before.

Eddie caught Steve’s eye, and something in Eddie's stomach swooped like he was about to plummet over the edge of a presapiss. Oh, he was done for.

He was definitely going to die old and alone, watching Steve happily live his life with another man.

If he had worked this out sooner would it have made any difference?

Probably not, Steve was his friend, he had zero romantic interest in Eddie.

Eddie just had to go making everything weird.

Evidently he had been staring too long, Robin dug him in the side again, glancing between Eddie and Steve and the strange staring contest that had started across the lounge.

‘Pathetic’ Robin muttered to herself, then aloud she said “Come on Munson, you're the only one not dressed in a Christmas monstrosity. Strip dude.”

“It's a good job I know you.” Eddie said, ripping the paper from the present and pulling out his own matching festive cheer. “I don't know if I like these bad habits you're learning at that fancy School of yours.”

“They teach me how to get oversized man-boys to do what I tell them.” She said, poking him in the side again with extra vigor.

She was vicious, for someone who's only recreational Sport was soccer, her upper body strength shouldn't be so good.

He quickly pulled his jacket off and yanked the black sweater he had been wearing over his head leaving him in just his faded and worn undershirt he hadn't intended for anyone else to bear witness too. From the sofa Max let off a loud wolf whistle, Eddie flipped her the bird, but he couldn't help glancing to see what Steve's reaction was. From beneath his flop of hair Steve's eyes were fixed on Eddie, and under his gaze Eddie felt himself starting to heat up.

“You've been defiling yourself with the devil's sacrament again?” Robin asked, grabbing his wrist. It shook him from whatever fleeting vision of possible interest he thought he had seen in Steve's eyes as Robin twisted his arm. She held on as she looked closer at his new tattoo. “Either Jeff is getting better with his little pricks, or you put on your big boy pants and went to a professional.”

“Ha ha hilarious.” Eddie said, trying to shake his arm free. “Me and Gareth went to Indi when he was back for Thanksgiving.”

“It's a bit morbid isn't it? Doubling down on the bats?”

“Robin, leave him alone. Come here and help me with this will you?” Steve shouted from across the room. But Robin was more interested in making fun of Eddie, after all she hadn’t seen him since she went away at the beginning of fall, she must be champing at the bit to bring him down a peg or two.

“You can just tell me it looks metal as hell if you like Bucks, you won’t lose any brownie points over it.” Eddie said, tugging his arm back.

“Never said it wasn’t cool, Munson. I just said it was morbid, I mean didn’t they technically kill you?”

“And technically Stevie boy brought me back to life, should I have tattooed a picture of the boy wonder on my arm? I could have gotten him in that nice little sailor outfit the two of you used to wear-” Robin punched him, hard in the shoulder. Her penchant for physical violence making itself known.

“Rob’s for fuck’ sake!” Steve piped up from behind them, as the tree crashed to the ground. The baubles scattering far and wide.

“Sorry! Sorry!” Robin said, rushing to help Steve get the Christmas tree back on its stand straight.

“What was all that about?” Dustin asked as he started scooping the ornaments from the rug, throwing them into the box they had come from.

“Nothing, tree was just too awkward to hold on my own and Robin abandoned me to beat up Eddie, instead of helping.” Steve grumbled, shooting Robin death glares.

Robin wasn’t showing any sort of remorse, holding the tree and watching as Eddie finally pulled on his Christmas sweater.

“None of you are fit to decorate this fine specimen, everyone knows you put the enormous balls near the bottom and you always decorate the ample behind.” Eddie said walking over and hooking a fat red bauble out of the fallen mess, he got close to Steve as he deliberately pressed close to get to the back of the tree, nudging Steve’s ass as he passed. God how had he not noticed just how loaded his flirting really had been getting.

“So, are you talking about personal experience then?” Steve asked, as Eddie hooked his ornament in place.

“Wouldn’t you like to know, big boy.” Eddie teased, surprised to see the tips of Steve’s ears flushing red. Was that a recent occurrence? Has that happened before? Eddie really hadn’t been looking, but now he was and it was something he was determined to investigate further.

Around them the kids had peeled off and were now diving into the hot chocolate that Steve had left on the table. He knew that their interest in actual manual labor would only last as long as it took for candy and chocolate to get involved.

Robin grabbed the discarded box of ornaments and divided her haul as the three of them worked quietly, Eddie acutely aware of every time his and Steve’s hands brushed his as they dressed the branches or maneuvered around the other.

Now Eddie was looking for it, it was surprising how often he and Steve casually touched. A hand to the bottom of his back, Steve leaning up tight against him the long line of his chest curving into Eddie’s back as he stretched to put the smaller ornaments towards the top of the tree.

Eddie was almost certain that Steve was lingering in his space more than normal, he could feel Robin watching them. It felt like he was under a microscope far worse than any time the kids had tried to trip him up and get the juicy details of his next campaign.

Every time he caught her looking he would be met with the smug ‘ I know something you don’t know’ look that she had learned from Erica and honed under Steve’s careful guidance.

“Have I got something on my face?” He asked as he hooked a small robin on the branch in front of her. “It’s rude to gawk you know, I might start getting the wrong sort of ideas about you Bucks,”

“I would rather gut myself and use the entrails to summon a demogorgon than look at you in any way that wasn’t just platonic you weirdo.” She straightened up the ornament, glancing over to where Steve had just stuck his head in one of the old Family Video shipping boxes to hunt out the remnants of last year's tinsel. “Which is more than I can say for you and Mr. Bubble butt.” She stage whispered as she lent into his space.

Eddie shot a glance over at the table where the kids had gathered, too busy fighting over the toppings for the Christmas cookies that Will had just gotten out of the oven, to pay much attention to what was happening over by the tree.

“Just because Steve… is … you know… doesn’t mean that he’s going to fawn about like a damsel in distress around any guy with a pulse.” Eddie chided under his breath.

“Never said he was. He might be a dingus, but he’s a dingus with standards. I wasn’t talking about him. I was on about you, what’s gotten into you tonight, you're normally a lot more covert when you’re scoping out the Harrington goods.” Robin goaded, “You can’t seriously think you're being subtle about it.”

Eddie tried to defend himself but he couldn’t exactly deny that he had just seconds before been staring at Steve’s ass in his stupid skin tight Levi, he opened his mouth to protest but nothing came out. He couldn't lie to Robin, she was too clever for subterfuge.

“It is a bubble butt, “ he settled on in lieu of finding a way to address her observations.

“That you can’t stay away from apparently. You don't have to say anything, but you know, if you need to talk about it, I don’t really share a brain with him you know?” Robin said quietly with a shrug.

“Thanks Robin,” he said earnestly.

“You looking for Narnia at the bottom of that box Steve?” Robin yelled suddenly, breaking whatever heartfelt moment the two of them were having.

“I can think of better ways to come out of the closet Robs’, ones that don't involve candy that tastes like perfume.” Steve said as he emerged from his quest, hands full of tinsel and fairy wire .He beckoned Dustin and Erica over to add it to the tree. No matter how much Steve liked to pretend he didn’t have favourites, Eddie knew better. They ignored him completely of course, too involved in debating who deserved the cookie that had come out of the oven looking comedically phallic shaped.

“Come on, let's deck this baby and then see if they have left us any cock cookies to decorate.” Eddie said, reaching out to grab a handful of shredded silver.

“Right after we dick the halls?” Steve asked as he tried to hide a bald patch with some of the silver and red tinsel.

“Well, you have to, right before you jingle balls, especially if you want a white christmas…” Eddie reasoned, taking extra joy in the way that Robin gagged before throwing a plastic baby Jesus at him.

Eddie watched as Steve and Robin started lobbying clumps of glitter at each other laughing and giggling like little kids, although they managed to avoid hitting the tree in their play fight thankfully, Eddie wasn't convinced he had it in him to decorate the thing again.

It made his heart happy to see Robin and Steve like this, screwing about and looking the fool with his best friend.

Could Eddie deal with it if this was all he got to have?

Maybe he was confusing friendship for love, after all Steve had made the same mistake when it came to Robin. Finding answers on a bathroom floor was all well and good but Eddie didn't think that would work the same between him and Steve.

Maybe he would be lucky. Maybe he would get to hold on to this. To feel like he was part of something good, even when Steve’s other half joined them. Eddie was sure more than ever that nobody could be On the receiving end of one of Steve's longing looks and not cave in at the first flutters eyelid , still he dreaded the day a forth wheel joined them.

He didn't have much time to wallow in his own self pitty, soon he had a face full of tinsel and he was drawn into the fray.

*******

It was getting dark when they finally got all the decorations in place, the kids had decided that now the complicated bit of untangling the mess off lights and cleaning up the deluge of pine needles was tackled by the ‘older kids’ (Eddie refused to let anyone call him an adult) they would all join in, fighting over who got to put the star on the top of the tree.

“Technically, it should be Steve, I mean it is his house.” Max reasoned, glaring at Dustin who was currently in possession of the shiny metal adornment. The man in question glared at her before handing it over to Steve.

“How generous.” Steve snarked, as he turned to the tree and reached up to tuck the star in its rightful place.

“Hey Steve?” Dustin asked.

“Okay, okay …I’ll let you turn the lights on,” Steve said exasperated.

“No, I mean yes I want to turn the lights on. But this isn’t about that. When did you get a tattoo?” Dustin asked, reaching out and grabbing Steve’s right arm, pushing the sleeve of his sweater up to look at the skin underneath.

You could hear a pin drop, Eddie didn’t think he had ever known the kids be this quiet ever, all eyes drawn to where Dustin was holding Steve’s arm out for inspection.

Silently someone turned on the fairy lights, giving everyone a clear view of the six highly stylized bats on the inside of his right arm.

That was when all hell broke loose.

“Right. Everyone just be quiet.” Robin yelled over the commotion. “Everyone out … not you Eddie.” she added, pushing him towards Steve.

“But presents…” someone complained, probably Dustin, Eddie didn't have it in him to look away from the damning evidence illuminated in reds and greens.

“The purple bag is all the kids’ presents from me,” Eddie said, not looking up. He knew all eyes were on him and Steve and for the first time ever he really didn't want to be the center of attention.

“Yeah, that one with a snowman on has mine in, dish them out between you.” Steve waved his hand in the general direction of the pile of gift bags on the sideboard.

Eddie traced the movement, yup that was definitely his tattoo etched on Steve's skin.

Fuck.

Eddie didn’t know what was happening around him other than Robin was ushering the kids out of the door as fast as humanly possible. He could hear Dustin huffing at being made to leave, but he also heard Robin threatening to expose his deepest darkest secrets if he didn't get a move on.

Any other time that would have piqued Eddie's curiosity, but right now he couldn't make sense of anything enough to form any coherent thought.

“Call me if you need me.” Robin yelled as she slammed the door behind her.

“Alright-” “Okay” Both of them shouted after her. To be fair, she could have been speaking to either of them, but Eddie had a feeling she meant both.

The house was calm now. The crackling sound of the old and lightly scratched Christmas record accompanying the popping of the logs on the fire.

It had been a long time since a silence between him and Steve had felt awkward, but Eddie wasn’t sure how to fill this one. It stretched, and he ached to fill it but his mind was racing, trying to patch together everything that had happened to him since spring break of ‘86. It was as if the tiny bit of string that had been holding the box of his realisation closed had just frayed and the box had split at the seams. Leaving him to wade through the deluge of information in a new light.

“So,” Eddie started eventually, when the quiet became too much.

“So,” Steve echoed back.

“Robin’s kind of right. It is a little morbid.” Eddie nodded at Steve’s arm, chancing a step forward to get a better look. It wasn’t ink under his skin, it was dark red, almost black, but fading at the edges.

It was fading at least, Eddie felt guilt building up, Steve had enough scars, he didn’t need more, no matter how temporary this blip on his skin was.

“Yeah, well, I was expecting it to have disappeared by now, but apparently you have a habit of sticking around.” Steve huffed.

It had been almost four weeks, and the bats on Steve’s arms looked like they were fresh. He looked like he wanted to say more, but bit his lip trying to hold back the words. He stepped back, pulling his sweater back down over his hands.

“Trust Dustin to be observant for the first time in his life.” He said, but his voice sounded distant, like he was on the verge of tears.

“If you want to leave, I wouldn’t blame you.” Steve said as he turned his attention to the tree, fiddling with one of the paper stars that hung on the nearest branch.

“Like I said yesterday, The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one.”

Eddie really wished that Steve would look at him. He might have hidden away the newest scar under the sleeves of his sweater, but Eddie could see the silver markings tracing round his neck as they flecked red and green in the shimmer of the Christmas lights.

He instinctively brought his hand up to his own neck, tracing his own scar, the way it twisted up into the the back of his hairline and up behind his ear. Steve’s was similar but just how similar?

They had both grown their hair out to hide the worst of it so it was well hidden but…

Curiosity got the better of him, reaching out he gently brushed the hair from behind Steve’s left ear, tracing the end of the scar his fingers swooped up behind and into Steve's hairline. An almost perfect copy of Eddie's second most dangerous wound.

Under his touch Steve froze, but his fingertips betrayed Steve’s heart. The pulse thrummed through his skin at a rapid rate, making Eddie’s heart want to chase and match the rhythm.

“You do know that quoting nerd shit at me is going to have the opposite of a negative effect on me right?” He asked, hoping that for once Steve would just see through his words.

“Stevie? Yesterday you said…” Eddie trailed off, yesterday Steve had said a lot of things.

Eddie had become overly very familiar with them all in the last twenty four hours.

But the shining factoids that were barreling around his mind at a billion miles a second, causing galaxy’s to implode and die as fast as they were born, were this:

Steve liked men.

Steve had found his soulmate.

Steve had feelings for his soulmate that he thought were not returned.

Eddie liked men.

Eddie may well have found his soulmate, right under his nose and in plain sight.

Eddie definitely had feelings for Steve, it was very much returned.

“I hadn’t… I didn’t…” Eddie was lost for words, a rare occurrence, normally he had way too many words and nothing to do with them. But finding the right ones here, so as not to screw this up, felt like he was pushing a boulder uphill and the landslide of destruction was fighting him every step of the way.

“Steve… in the car… you said he was oblivious. I… I… was oblivious.”

“Yeah well, surprise.” Steve said weakly, almost on the edge of tears. “I’m your soulmate, sorry it's not some metal chick with huge tits that loves all your nerd shit.” He tried to pull away from where Eddie held him, but a simple tug at the base of Steve’s hair stopped him in his tracks.

“You are perfectly nerdy, and you have fantastic boobies Harrington, You also happen to be several chapters ahead in this book we call life. You gotta let me catch up, I only found out I was allowed to like guys and girls yesterday. The old grey matter isn’t what it used to be. I’m processing a lot.”

Steve turned to look at him, pressing his cheek into Eddie’s open hand, Eddie’s fingers still tracing the twisting scar tissue. The move felt familiar, even if Eddie was sure they had never done this before, a calm settling through him like thick toffee in his veins.

“And do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Like guys as well?” Steve sounded so hopeful that Eddie was sure he wasn’t going to get shot down from a great height. Steve had Eddie’s marks all over him and Eddie had just been to stupid to see what was staring him in the face all this time.

Eddie wanted to see Steve smile again, catch that starlight from the tree sparkling in his eyes rather than in his tears.

“I like you Steve. And I like you a lot. But you're not just any guy are you? You’re you, and apparently the universe thinks I’m good enough to make you happy.”

“And you do Eds, nobody else has ever made me laugh so hard I want to puke. Or at least nobody ever made me laugh so much I split my stitches. Nobody else has stupidly dived head first into danger with a hero complexion just to put me first.” He shot Eddie a loaded look as if to say ‘ am I wrong?’ and Eddie couldn’t argue the facts. “Someone's gotta keep saving your life. If fate says it’s me, who am I to argue?” Steve said with a wet sniffle, yet the smile was starting to creep back on his face. Eddie carefully wiped away the tears that had dropped to Steve’s cheeks with the sleeve of his Christmas sweater.

“Fate could have clued me in a little bit sooner,” Eddie said, chancing a step closer to Steve, pushing Steve’s sleeve up and run his fingers over the bats, curling behind them he traced his fingers over the raised scar they both shared from luring away the demodog from Max’s hospital room. A shared sacrifice, a decision made together. Was that the point this had taken hold?

Just how long had the two of them been entwined like this?

As if reading Eddie’s mind Steve took his free hand and lifted it to Eddie’s neck pressing gently at the left of his adams apple.

“It was such a tiny nic, I don’t think you even noticed it, but the bottle was pretty sharp when you pressed it to my neck. I felt it then, the first spark of something, an adrenaline rush pulsing under my skin like electricity. Dad had tried to explain it to me before, but I wrote it off as a load of bullshit. But there you were, living proof that the shit dad pedals for a living was actually true. But you were so scared and so stressed that I don’t think you even registered the scar showing on your skin, let alone the elevated heart rate and the scar had faded by the time we jumped in the lake.”

“The boat house? That’s where the bond happened?”

“Yeah, and I thought you were such an asshole, it had to be some cosmic joke. A twisted mistake, that Eddie Munson was my soulmate. But then you dived into the lake after me, and you kept just knowing what I was thinking when we were in the Upside Down. It was like you knew exactly what I was going to say and do even when I wasn't sure myself. Then I couldn’t believe you would run into danger to keep Dustin safe. To keep me and the others safe, when you hardly knew us.” Steve said, inching his way more into Eddie’s space. “Only my stupid ass soulmate would go being a hero when he had been told in no uncertain terms not to do that. ‘Cause that’s exactly what I would have done too”

Realization dawned on Eddie like the sun coming out from behind the darkest of rain clouds. It had been Steve’s voice he had followed back from the brink of death.

“It was you, you called me back.”

“Yeah, well Dustin worships you dude. I couldn’t just let you go and die on me.”

“Oh, so you only saved me so you didn’t have to be a single father, I understand.”

“No you dipshit, I saved you cause you slipping away was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. And I’ve had several concussions and had part of my stomach sewn back together in a field hospital.”

“You say the most romantic things baby.” Eddie said with a grin, “Intestines are sexy.”

“You are so weird.” Steve said with a smile, his thumb stroking the length of Eddie’s matching scar.

“You’re the weird one that keeps saving me with your creepy soulmate powers, don’t go blaming-” Steve cut him off, shoving his hand over Eddie’s mouth and rolling his eyes with a sniff, the last of the tears now gone. It took everything in Eddie’s power not to lick his palm.

“And I would save you a million times more, because for some insane reason I’m extremely glad the fates decided you’re my other half, even if you are a feral racoon of a man.”

“Mmnsnatmuccun”

“What?” Steve asked, removing his hand.

“I said, I’m not a raccoon.” Eddie answered, letting himself be brave and pulling Steve towards him by his waist.

“I’ve seen you eat from the trash dude, definitely raccoon behaviour.” Steve said with a smirk. Letting himself be pulled in.

“It was one peanut butter cup, and the bin was brand new.” Eddie said in his defence, “Anyway I think that says more about you than it does me, I mean you’re the one who wants to kiss someone who ate something out of the trash.”

“Well you did say I was weird,” Steve reasoned as he lent in closer, “But you're right. I really want to kiss you Eddie, I have done for a long time.”

“Then we better make sure we aren't about to be invaded by little green men from Mars, ‘cause I really want to kiss you-” This time Steve cut him off with his lips. Eddie definitely liked it a lot better than the palm of his hand.

It was a sweet thing, tentative in a way Eddie hadn’t been expecting, but it felt different to every other kiss he’d had to date, the gentle thrum of belonging radiating from the soft press of Steve’s lips to his own.

Steve’s hands twist up into his hair, grounding him and deepening the kiss, pulling and pushing against each other until Eddie could taste the chocolate on Steve’s tongue and feel his body pressed hard against him.

It was all too much and not even a tiny bit enough.

All too soon Steve broke the kiss, his soft breath ghosting Eddie’s lips as he started to pull away.

“Nope, get back here.” Eddie muttered pitifully, pulling Steve back towards him. “Just so we're on the same page.If you look up the words oblivious, scared and idiot they all have my name next to them in the dictionary. Right under the entry that Robin has edited to deem me pathetic.”

“How would you know? You don’t know how to use a dictionary, that's why dad keeps telling you he will get you an editor.” Steve said with a chuckle, moving to pull Eddie closer.

“Don’t you start sweetheart.” Eddie softly scalded. “I can say no to your dad. But you start batting eyelashes at me and I’m done for.”

“He’s just looking out for you… for us.” Steve said bashfully. “He’s practically married us off already if you hadn’t guessed.”

Suddenly Mr. Harrington’s fumbling words made more sense, the insistence that he wanted to help Eddie in his writing career, the way he hadn’t battered an eyelid that first time Eddie had sauntered downstairs scars out in search of caffeine.

“How long has your dad known?” Eddie asked wearily, aware that he may well be the last person to have picked up on the glaringly obvious.

Steve itched at the scar on his neck, and now that Eddie knew they were connected, he could feel the ghost of it on his skin. Just how many nights had Steve been lying awake thinking of him, because the tingling was like a hug as it washed through him.

“Since you were in a coma the first time? ” Steve said sheepishly, “I swear other than Robin I didn’t mention it to anyone else… If you didn’t want me I didn’t want to become a pity case. Have you seen Dustin aim for sympathy? It’s like watching a muppet show real emotion, it makes me uncomfortable.”

“Of course you told Robin, I wouldn’t expect anything else, at least that explains why you got all weird whenever I brought up your soulmate” Eddie wasn’t sure how to process the fact that Mr. Harrington had known about this since 86 and had managed to keep his mouth shut about the whole thing since then.

“But Still. How did your dad know?”

Steve looked at Eddie dumbfounded, “Eddie, did you ever look to see who wrote the books you have been hoarding in your dragon cave? The ones about soulmates that you think nobody but you knows about?”

Eddie had not in fact looked, not even once, but now he was questioning if that was a major oversight on his behalf.

“Dad has been doing research and writing about Soulmates for the best part of twenty years now,” Steve said, pulling him in from the waist this time, taking the lead. “I was confused, because up until that point, I hadn’t really thought that my soulmate could be a man, let alone someone I thought was the very definition of straight. Turns out fate, just like my parents, doesn't really give a shit if I love another dude, just as long as it makes me happy.” Steve laughed. “And just so you know, him and Uncle Wayne have been plotting behind your back, I think I get you for like … two pigs and a packet of magic beans.”

“Wayne knows?”

“He has his suspicions.” Steve admitted. And yeah maybe Wayne did suspect something, his old man knew him better than he knew himself.

But now Eddie knew what he wanted, understood all the strange feelings in the pit of his stomach and the way his heart raced now was all down to the man who was holding him like he was something precious.

“Wayne knows to barter better than that, I’m worth at least three chickens, a pig and a cow, the only beanstalk I’ll be climbing at any point is you,” Eddie said with a flirty wink.

“Speedrunning the whole bisexual thing are we?” Steve gulped.

“I'm Stevesexual, If that isn’t a thing?” He asked, "I'm making it a thing.”

“I don’t think that’s how it works, baby.” Steve said , and that baby tugged at the part of his brain marked horny and flicked a few switches for good measure.

“Is it not in one of your dad’s books?”

“If it was, you would have found it by now.” Steve said as he lent in and stole another kiss. Eddie’s heart sped up, this was what he had been missing, this was the thing he had been searching for not knowing that he had already found it.

“Another disclaimer,” Eddie said when they broke apart. “I was in love with you before I found out you were my soulmate, so don't think this is all just because it's something I think the universe wants from me.”

“When have you ever done anything someone expected Eds,” Steve said with a dopey grin, “I can't even get you to follow a rota, let alone someone invisible forces master plan. Why did you think I was so scared you weren't going to like me back?”

“Well that's just crazy thinking, this time the universe didn't have to help, I think I'd have fallen for you no matter what Stevie,”

Steve’s hands started to wander, and somewhere in Eddie’s peripheral, he heard the record skip to the end of the last song, its gentle hiss accompanied by the soft but hungry sounds Steve was making in the back of his throat as he kissed him deeply.

“You got anywhere you need to be?” Steve asked as he came up for breath, “Or…”

Eddie smirked and tugged them towards the stairs.

“What about the presents?” Steve questioned as they passed the hallway table.

“It's not christmas day until tomorrow. You’re trinkets will wait until morning sweet prince,” Eddie said, ushering for Steve to ascend the steps after him.

“I thought whores would have their trinkets?” Steve asked.

“You can be both.” Eddie said, matching Steve's teasing tone. “Now if you wouldn't mind, I would like to assess just how many of our scars actually match.” He said with a loaded wink, acting a lot more confident than he actually felt. He was a showman after all.

“Merry Christmas to me?” Steve asked and he was honest to god blushing now, how had Eddie missed this for so long it was adorable.

“Merry Christmas to us both, baby, and here's to many more.” He said with a kiss as he pulled Steve into his room.

[buckets-and-trees]

Warm Shadows - The Dawn Has Come [double epilogue]

Collection: Warm Shadows Chapter Title: The Dawn Has Come Characters/Pairings: Alpha!Bucky x f!Omega!Reader x Alpha!Steve Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: The aftermath - and the happily ever after? An epilogue with two distinct parts befitting the journey with the two alphas.

Content Warnings: omegaverse: heat and ruts, manipulating bonding marks; explicit smut: oral (m receiving), clitoral fingering, breastplay, vaginal intercourse, unprotected sex, breeding kink, breeding

Additional Notes: My offering for the fourth week of Chris-Mas is the epilogue to finally bring the Warm Shadows saga to a close on the ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY from when I posted the first chapter! This is also filling my October prompt for @buckybarnesevents Build-a-Bucky Bingo with an appearance from our dear Alpine!

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

FIFTEEN MONTHS LATER

It's been fifteen months since you returned to Wakanda. After the initial few weeks spent on your own while Steve and Bucky cleaned up all trace of the Captain Hydra project, your alphas returned to you weary and a little worse for wear, but unharmed overall. Waiting for them, you had done your best trying not to spiral into anxious worry.

You had put yourself to use volunteering to work in one of the schools. It was work you knew mattered, and the children were sweet, clever, precocious, and filled your days with so much to do and think about that it was a worthwhile distraction, and you went back to your living quarters blissfully tired every night. You were not a stranger to Wakanda, since you had been visiting with Bucky every year since your binding ritual, and so it wasn’t evenings of solitary loneliness night after night when you were off either - the small circle of friends you’d made over those previous visits kept you company often enough.

Even so, the reunion with your alphas had come just when you might have started to truly worry.

Keeping his promise, though, Bucky hadn’t closed off his bond to you completely like he had when you’d been taken. It was muted so he would neither worry you nor lose focus, but he and Steve both let their bonds be more open when they weren’t engaged in any specific operations.

The first full moon after they returned, Bucky and Steve had performed the ritual and sworn the blood oath to create a pack bond. It had been what Bucky had described, as beautiful as your mind had imagined, and surpassed what any of you had anticipated in elements of primal nature and magic combining to transform your connections and their power as alphas. It was something so sacred to have experienced that you rarely spoke of it because there simply weren’t words. Bucky later pointed out that the lack of records around the ritual and its effects made sense.

One of the triumphs of Steve and Bucky’s “clran up” mission had been the discovery - while destroying evidence - of the notebooks the Hydra scientists had used to document Steve’s torture and conditioning. Shuri and Ayo integrated that information with what they had done before in unraveling Hydra’s grip on Bucky as the Winter Soldier, and it had been a long - an unrushed - process, but after a few months, Steve began to believe (and he was the last one convinced) that he was free. He had changed, but he was a true version of himself again. Bucky, more than anyone else, helped Steve to see that he wouldn’t have to live in the shadow of what he’d done forever - though there were times the shadows would undoubtedly - and painfully - cross his mind.

Building a new chapter of your life in Wakanda, you had continued your work at the school. Steve had gone back to art and drawing. Shuri drew him in for opinions on political matters once or twice, then more and more often, until she had effectively enlisted him as an outside consultant on foreign policy. And Bucky, well, he had found his place once again in Wakanda's science research lab, but with more responsibility and working in actual partnership on bigger projects since the three of you were staying for longer.

You also relentlessly teased your alphas for their love of farming. They tended to a small pack of goats. But you didn’t complain when you watched them undertaking some of the more laborious tasks that required muscle.

Over a year, you really had carved out a life that worked for the three of you to figure out your relationship.

As dinner time approached, you and Steve were busy preparing a meal together in the kitchen of your small cottage. It was something that had become almost ritualistic for the two of you. Cooking together had become one of your favorite ways to spend time with each other.

"Did you remember to pick up some more herbs from the market?" Steve asks as he sets a pot on the stove.

You nod, setting down the cutting board with chopped vegetables. "Yeah, I got them this morning."

"Great," he smiles at you before turning back to his task.

You can’t help but smile too as you watch him work. This simple domestic life was its own healing balm.

You don’t hear Bucky come in, but Bucky’s arrival is announced by Alpine, who greeted him immediately at the door with a barrage of meows, chatting away at her favorite human. You and Steve don’t take it personally as she still doles out a bit of affection to you two as well.

He enters the kitchen carrying Alpine in the crook of his arm, scratching her head with his other hand. “Smells delicious in here,” he says, happily.

"Hey Buck," you smile and pull him close for a quick kiss.

"How was your day?" Steve asks.

"It was good," Bucky replies. "I spent most of it in the lab."

Steve raises an eyebrow at that, and the two of you exchange a look. Bucky usually likes to excitedly launch into some new development or bemoan a roadblock but with ideas of how he already wants to tweak his approach for the next day.

"What were you working on?" Steve presses further.

Bucky shrugs. "Just more tests on the vibranium alloys. Nothing too exciting."

You and Steve exchange another glance, sensing there's something Bucky isn't telling you, but silently agree not to push. If it's important, he'll tell you when he's ready.

"Well, dinner will be ready soon," you say. "Why don't you go wash up?"

Bucky nods, setting Alpine down gently. "Sounds good. I'll be right back."

As he leaves the kitchen, you turn to Steve.

"He seems off," Steve says quietly.

"Yeah. He didn't seem upset, just... distracted maybe?"

"Well, let's just keep an eye on him tonight," Steve suggests. "If something's truly bothering him, we’ll feel it.”

You nod in agreement with Steve, turning back to the stove to stir the simmering pot. The rich aroma of herbs and spices fills the kitchen, mingling with the comforting scents of the home you’ve built with your alphas.

Bucky returns a few minutes later, his hair damp from a quick shower. He moves to help set the table, falling into the familiar rhythm of your shared domestic life. As you bring the food to the table, you can't help but notice the slight tension in Bucky's shoulders, the way his eyes seem to flicker between you and Steve more frequently than usual.

Dinner conversation flows easily enough, with Steve recounting a particularly amusing incident from his day meeting with M’Baku in the mountain fortress of the Jabari. You chime in with stories from the school, delighting in the way both your alphas' eyes light up when you talk about your students' progress. Bucky listens attentively, but he remains more subdued.

He responds when spoken to, but doesn't engage in his usual animated conversation. You and Steve keep exchanging glances, your worry growing as the meal progresses.

As you're clearing the dishes, Bucky suddenly speaks up. "I have something I need to tell you both."

You and Steve freeze, turning to look at him. Your heart races, anxiety creeping in at his serious tone.

"What is it, Buck?" Steve asks, his voice calm but laced with concern.

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, a gesture you recognize as a sign of his nervousness. "I've been thinking about this for a while now, and... well, I think it's time we consider going back."

Steve's brow furrows, and you feel your heart skip a beat. "Going back?" you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Bucky nods, his steel-blue eyes moving between you and Steve. "To New York," he clarifies, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

You exchange a glance with Steve, surprise and confusion evident on both your faces. Bucky takes a deep breath, his metal hand absently stroking Alpine, who has curled up in his lap. "Shuri approached me today with an interesting proposition," he begins, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "She's been working on plans for Wakanda's next International Outreach Center, and she's decided to open it in New York."

You lean forward, intrigued. "New York?”

Bucky nods, a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, in Brooklyn actually. And she's offered me a spot to work on the science and technology team there."

Steve's eyes widen. "Buck, that's amazing," he says, his voice filled with pride.

You feel a mix of emotions swirling inside you - excitement, anxiety, hope. "When would this be happening?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.

Bucky reaches out, taking your hand in his. "Not for a few months yet. There's still a lot of planning and preparation to be done. But," he pauses, his eyes meeting yours, then Steve's, "I wanted to talk to you both about it first. This obviously isn't just my decision to make."

Steve leans back in his chair, his brow furrowed in thought, so you take the lead on pushing the conversation forward. "It's a big step," you say slowly. "We've built a lot here, and Wakanda is incredible, but… I do miss our other home.”

Bucky squeezes your hand. “Me, too.”

“And Mexican food and pizza,” you add.

He laughs, and Steve smiles.

Then you look at Steve, studying his face, probing at the bond between you. “What do you have tucked away that you haven’t told us?” you ask, realizing for the last couple of days he’s been projecting perhaps too much of a business-as-normal attitude.

“Okay, fine, I might have my own proposition from Shuri as well,” he admits.

“And?” you push, Bucky sitting up straighter in his chair.

“She wants to open official diplomatic relationships with a handful of countries - the US being one of them - and wants to request me as ambassador.”

You and Bucky stare at Steve in stunned silence for a moment.

"Ambassador?" Bucky finally says, his voice a mix of surprise and enthusiasm. "Steve, that's incredible."

"It really is!” you chime in just as excitedly, your mind racing with the implications. “We have every confidence in you, but are you ready for that kind of public role again?"

Steve takes a deep breath, his eyes meeting yours. "I've been thinking about it a lot. And I think I am. It's not the same as being Captain America - it's not about being a symbol or a hero. It's about building bridges, fostering understanding. I think... I think I could do some real good."

Bucky reaches out, placing a hand on Steve's shoulder. "You could, punk. You absolutely could."

You feel a swell of emotion in your chest, pride and love for both your alphas mingling with a hint of uncertainty.

“How long have you been sitting on this?" Bucky asks.

Steve has the grace to look a bit sheepish. "She only approached me officially yesterday, but we've been discussing the possibility for a few weeks now."

Bucky turns his eyes back to you - they both do - and he tugs on your hand to bring you back to the present. “What’s on your mind, Omega?”

You chew on your bottom lip before voicing the thought in your head. “Positions to ship both of you back off to the United States… do you think Shuri’s politely trying to kick us out?”

Steve leans in, a wry grin on his face. “Kick us out? Can’t you see what she’s doing?”

“What?”

Bucky chuckles and joins in, "She's clearly giving us undeniable reasons to go home."

“But why?”

The two alphas exchange a knowing look before bursting into laughter. “Really, sweetheart?” Steve asks.

Bucky’s tone is teasing as he adds, “Do you not also have some news to share with us?”

Your brow furrows. “What do you two know that I don’t?”

Your two alphas exchange another look, then turn their eyes back on you.

“Omega,” Bucky starts, his voice now serious, “your scent changed in the days after you took our knots in your last heat.”

“We’re certain you’re pregnant,” Steve finishes.

You gasp, the words taking a moment to fully register in your mind before your hand moves to your stomach. "Pregnant?" you repeat, disbelief and excitement swirling inside you.

FIVE WEEKS EARLIER

You wake with a gasp, your body trembling with need. Sweat beads on your skin as waves of heat roll through you, igniting every nerve ending. Your nightgown clings to your damp skin as you writhe on the bed, seeking friction against the sheets.

"Steve... Bucky..." you moan, your voice thick with desire.

The room is still dark, the first hints of dawn barely peeking through the curtains. But your alphas are instantly alert, their enhanced senses picking up on your distress and arousal.

"Omega," Bucky's voice is a low rumble as he rolls towards you, his metal arm cool against your fevered skin. "We've got you."

Steve presses against your other side, his lips finding the sensitive spot behind your ear. "What do you need?" he asks.

Steve's hand cups your breast through the thin fabric of your nightgown, his thumb brushing over your hardened nipple. You arch into his touch, a needy whimper escaping your lips. "Please," you gasp, your body burning with desire. "Need you both."

Bucky's metal hand trails down your side, leaving goosebumps in its wake. "We're here, ‘mega," he murmurs, his voice husky with want. "We'll take care of you."

Your heats come once each season, good regularity for an omega, but with alphas only falling into rut once or twice a year, this is the first time the three of you have cycled together, both of your alphas finally syncing to you.

Steve's fingers find the hem of your nightgown, slowly inching it up your thighs. "Always so beautiful," he breathes, his eyes dark with desire as he drinks in the sight of you.

You writhe between them, desperate for more contact. Your skin feels too tight, too hot, and you need their touch like you need air to breathe. "Alpha," you moan, not even sure which one you're calling for – you need them both equally.

Your skin feels like it's on fire, every brush of their hands sending sparks of pleasure through your body. The familiar ache of heat pulses deep in your core, your body preparing itself to be claimed by your alphas.

Bucky captures your lips in a searing kiss, swallowing your moans as his tongue explores your mouth. Steve's hand slips between your thighs, finding you already wet and ready. You gasp into Bucky's mouth as Steve's fingers circle your sensitive bundle of nerves.

"So wet for us already," Steve murmurs, his voice low and husky.

You break away from Bucky's kiss, panting. "Please," you whimper, your hips bucking against Steve's hand. "Need you inside me."

Bucky's metal hand trails down your body, cool against your feverish skin. He gently pushes your nightgown up, exposing more of your heated flesh to the cool air of the room. Steve helps you sit up just enough to pull the garment over your head, leaving you bare between them.

The cool air of the room kisses your heated skin, making you shiver with anticipation. Bucky's metal hand trails down your spine, leaving goosebumps in its wake. Steve's fingers trace patterns on your inner thigh, inching closer to where you need them most.

"You're gorgeous like this," Bucky says, his voice low and husky. Steve hums in agreement, his eyes dark with desire as he drinks in the sight of you.

They’ve both been on the cusp of their ruts for the past few days, waiting for your heat to break, and you can smell the pleased anticipation positively rolling off them now.

You writhe between them. "Please," you pout, your body burning with need. "I need you both."

Steve captures your lips in a searing kiss as Bucky's metal fingers find your slick folds. You gasp into Steve's mouth as Bucky slowly slides two fingers inside you, stretching you deliciously.

“This cunt is crying for her alphas’ knots, isn’t it?” Bucky asks.

You nod frantically, beyond words as pleasure courses through you. Steve breaks the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck as Bucky's fingers work inside you.

"Tell us what you need, Omega," Steve whispers against your skin.

"You," you gasp. "Both of you. Please, I need to feel you both inside me."

Bucky growls low in his throat, his fingers withdrawing from you. You whimper at the loss, but then Steve is lifting you, positioning you over his hard length. You sink down onto him with a moan of relief, feeling deliciously full. He lays back, pulling you along with him.

"That's it, sweetheart," Steve breathes, his hands gripping your hips. "Take what you need."

You begin to move, rocking against Steve as Bucky watches with hungry eyes. After a few moments, Bucky moves to kneel next to your head. Without a word, you turn your head to take his cock into your mouth.

The room fills with the sounds of pleasure - skin against skin, breathless moans and whispered endearments. You rock your hips, taking Steve deeper inside you as you work Bucky with your mouth. Their scents surround you, pine and metal mingling with the heady aroma of your shared arousal.

Steve's hands remain on your hips, guiding your movements as you ride him. Bucky's metal hand tangles in your hair, not forcing but encouraging as you take him deeper. The dual sensations of being filled by both your alphas sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body.

"So perfect for us," Steve groans, his hips bucking up to meet yours.

Bucky's flesh hand cups your cheek, his thumb brushing over your stretched lips. "Look at you, taking us both so well," he murmurs, his voice thick with desire.

You moan around Bucky's length, the vibrations making him groan. The praise from your alphas sends a thrill through you, spurring you on. You rock your hips faster, chasing your pleasure as you take them both deeper.

Steve's hands tighten on your hips, his fingers digging into your flesh in a way that's sure to leave marks. The thought of being marked by your alpha only heightens your arousal.

The dual sensations of Steve inside you and Bucky in your mouth are overwhelming. Heat coils tighter in your core with each thrust, each stroke. You can feel yourself getting close, teetering on the edge of bliss.

"That's it, Omega," Steve growls, his voice strained with pleasure. "Come for us. Let us feel you."

You work your fingers against Steve’s bonding mark, and he groans in a primal way. “Omega, don’t - you don’t know - “ he warns.

But you suspect what will happen if you tease and torture the place where finally you claimed him back. You’re tired of Steve holding back, and you want to trigger the true primal alpha side you know he’s still keeping behind walls of restraint, shame, and worry.

Your heat makes you more desperate, but also brings you closer to your base instincts. You know what you want, what you crave, what you need, and you know how to get it.

And so you keep stroking, pushing, probing. Bucky watches you, inclining his head slightly - silently asking if you’re sure of what you’re doing, and you nod even as Steve’s body starts to shake beneath you and his thrusts become more erratic. Bucky nods and pulls out of your mouth.

In a swift motion, you bite Steve’s mark anew, and he shouts, and snaps - you feel it through your connection, and you preen in triumph, but only for a fraction of a second because Steve’s immediately flipping you over. Without pause, he continues to fuck you, your legs spread wide for him now.

"You want a wild alpha fucking you?" Steve growls, his eyes dark with primal desire.

“Yes,” you moan, raking your fingers down his chest as you feel the knot at the base of his cock start to swell and move into your slick, desperate channel.

Steve's thrusts become more powerful, more frantic. His hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider as he drives into you. With his knot growing inside of you, he can only rut, but his angle, the thickness of his length, the rubbing of the knot is perfection.

Bucky moves down to kneel next to Steve, his metal hand gripping Steve's shoulder. "Easy, punk," he murmurs, but there's a hint of arousal in his voice. "Don't break our Omega."

Steve snarls in response, but his thrusts slow slightly, becoming more controlled yet no less intense. You whimper at the change in pace, your body trembling with need. "Please," you gasp, "don't stop."

Steve's eyes lock with yours, dark with desire and something wilder. "Never," he growls, his hips snapping forward.

Bucky's metal hand slides down your body, finding your sensitive bundle of nerves. You cry out as he begins to circle it with expert precision, the dual sensations of Steve's thrusts and Bucky's touch pushing you closer to the edge.

"That's it, Omega," Bucky murmurs, his voice low and husky. "Let go for us."

Steve's knot swells further, catching on your rim with each thrust. The stretch is delicious, bordering on too much but not quite. You arch your back, chasing the sensation.

"Gonna fill you up," Steve pants, his voice rough with need. "Breed you full of our pups."

His words send a jolt of pleasure through you. "Yes," you moan, "please, Alpha. Want your pups."

Bucky growls low in his throat, his fingers working faster against your clit. "You’ll take our knots until you’re bulging for us, so full of our cum.”

You nod frantically, beyond words as pleasure builds within you. Steve's thrusts become more erratic, his knot swelling to its full size. With one final, powerful thrust, he buries himself deep inside you, his knot locking you together as he begins to pulse his release.

The sensation of being filled, stretched, and knotted pushes you over the edge. You cry out as your orgasm washes over you, your body clenching around

Steve's knot. Your vision goes white at the edges as pleasure courses through every nerve ending. Steve collapses on top of you, his body shuddering with aftershocks.

Bucky's metal hand continues to work your sensitive bundle of nerves, prolonging your orgasm. You writhe beneath Steve, overwhelmed by sensation. Steve nips and licks at the top of your chest while he’s locked inside of you.

As your orgasm subsides, you lay panting beneath Steve, his weight a comforting presence. Bucky's metal hand moves to stroke your hair, soothing you as you come down from your high.

"You okay, Omega?" Bucky asks softly, his eyes searching your face.

You nod, still catching your breath. "More than okay," you manage to say, a blissful smile spreading across your face.

Steve lifts his head, his eyes meeting yours. There's a mix of emotions in his gaze - love, desire, and a hint of concern. "Did I hurt you?" he asks, his voice low.

You shake your head, reaching up to cup his cheek. "No, Steve. I wanted the Alpha side you’ve been holding back from me." You pull him down for a tender kiss, pouring all your love and reassurance into it.

As you break the kiss, you turn to Bucky. “Give me your cock, Alpha.”

He laughs. “You’re already full of cock, greedy girl.”

“Only one hole. I want more,” you whine.

Bucky's eyes darken with desire at your words. "You sure you can handle more, Omega?"

You nod eagerly, licking your lips as you eye his hard length. "Please, Alpha. Need to taste you."

Steve shifts slightly, careful not to pull on his knot, allowing you better access to Bucky. Bucky moves closer, positioning himself so you can reach him without straining.

You open your mouth, inviting him in. Bucky groans as he slides his cock between your lips, the taste of him exploding on your tongue. You moan around him, the vibrations making him shudder.

"That's it," Bucky murmurs, his metal hand coming to cup your cheek. "Take what you need."

You work him with your mouth, your tongue swirling around his tip before taking him deeper. Steve watches with dark eyes, his hips making small, involuntary thrusts as his knot keeps you joined.

The room fills with the sounds of pleasure - Bucky's low groans, Steve's panting breaths, and your muffled moans. The scent of sex and arousal hangs heavy in the air, mingling with the unique scents of your alphas.

"So good for us," Bucky praises, his voice rough with desire.

Steve's hand finds your breast, kneading gently. The sensations of Steve's knot locked inside you, Bucky's cock in your mouth, and Steve’s kneading hand send waves of pleasure through your body.

Your heat simmers just below the surface, temporarily sated but far from over. You can feel it building again, a slow burn that promises to consume you once more. But for now, you focus on the taste of Bucky on your tongue, the weight of Steve inside you, the scent of your alphas surrounding you.

You want more of Bucky - more thrusting, faster, rougher - but you know he won’t give it to you right now. He’s content and determined to wait so he can knot and fill you as soon as Steve’s knot goes down. And you want him to fill you up, too.

Bucky's metal hand cups your cheek gently as you continue to work him with your mouth. His flesh hand strokes through your hair, the tender gesture contrasting with the raw desire in his eyes. You can feel his restraint, the way he's holding back from thrusting too hard.

"That's it, ‘mega," he murmurs, his voice strained. "You're doing so well."

Steve's knot is still firmly lodged inside you, but you can feel it starting to soften ever so slightly. His hand continues to knead your breast, occasionally pinching and rolling your nipple between his fingers.

Steve's knot finally softens enough for him to slip out of you. You whimper at the loss, feeling empty and needy. But Bucky doesn’t make you wait. He’s immediately pulling out of your mouth, his eyes dark with desire as he looks down at you. Moving in sync as only they could with their history in and out of battle, Steve makes way for Bucky to take his place between your thighs.

"Get ready for my knot," he says, his voice low and husky. “It will be the one of many this weekend, and you’re going to take it eagerly every time - from both of us.”

You nod eagerly, spreading your legs wider in invitation. "Please, Alpha," you whimper, your body aching to be filled again.

With one smooth thrust, he buries himself inside you, groaning at the sensation of your slick heat enveloping him. You cry out in pleasure, your back arching off the bed.

"So wet and open for me," Bucky growls, his hips starting a punishing rhythm. "Still dripping with Steve's cum."

The thought sends a thrill through you, knowing you're filled with one alpha's seed while taking the other. Steve lays beside you. He strokes your cheek before slipping his thumb into your mouth, and you automatically close your lips around it and start to suck and moan.

Bucky's thrusts are deep and powerful, each one sending sparks of pleasure through your body. His metal hand grips your hip, the cool metal a stark contrast to your heated skin.

“We’re gonna pass you between us, sweetheart,” Steve murmurs directly into your ear, then licks up the shell. “Keep you on our knots, fill you with our cum, make sure you’re going to swell with us after this heat.”

The thought of being passed between your alphas, filled with their cum and swelling with their pups sends a jolt of pleasure through you, makes you write eagerly for more. You moan around Steve's thumb, your hips bucking up to meet Bucky's powerful thrusts.

Bucky growls, his thrusts becoming more frantic. "Gonna fill you up, Omega. Breed you full."

"That's it," Steve murmurs, his voice low and husky. "Let go for us, sweetheart. Show us how good we make you feel."

Bucky's thrusts become more erratic, his knot beginning to swell, and Steve decides to torture you with divine licks pressed to the base of your neck over bonding mark he gave you, heightening your heat and bringing your primal self out more as you’d done to him. You can only moan and keen and grasp at them both.

"Alpha," you gasp, your body trembling on the edge of release. "Please, I need-"

"We know what you need, Omega," Bucky growls, his hips snapping forward with increased urgency. "Gonna give it to you. Gonna fill you up so good."

Steve's hand trails down your body, finding your sensitive bundle of nerves. He circles it with expert precision, adding to the overwhelming sensations. "Come for us," he demands, giving your engorged clit a pinch that triggers your orgasm, and you groan.

With one final, powerful thrust, Bucky buries himself deep inside you, his knot locking you together as he begins to pulse his release. The sensation amplifies and prolongs the intensity of your orgasm, your body clenching around Bucky's knot, trembling and gasping beneath him.

"That's it, Omega," Bucky groans, his body shuddering above you. "Take it all."

Your vision blurs at the edges as wave after wave of ecstasy courses through you.

As your orgasm begins to subside, you lay panting beneath Bucky, who collapsed on top of you, his weight a comforting presence. You kiss him, long and hard, momentarily sated.

But then you turn your head and reach for Steve, bringing his lips to yours. You move your mouth between them, needing their kisses more than you need air, eager and ready to take them over and over again through this heat, body more insatiable than you have ever been. And you can’t imagine anything else feeling as right as this does. They’re yours.

Forever.

↠ Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest

I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!

[rebelspykatie]

Steve who accidentally wishes that he never went back to the Byers house to apologize that night, and has to live out a timeline where he’s not directly involved in the upside down happenings. Just an observer of the events from afar and how his removal from the main plot changes the entire trajectory of the story. 

How some of the kids get injured when he’s not there to protect them. How Robin never gets entangled in their mess, but she’s lonelier and has no one to rely on, quiet and mistrustful of people, especially popular kids like him. How quickly Jonathan and Nancy get together when he’s not begging Nancy to forget Barb and dragging her into a bullshit relationship. How he fades from the top of the high school hierarchy after Billy’s arrival anyways, disgusted by him and Tommy. 

It provides clarity in the worst possible way and he thinks it’ll never go back to the way it was, that he’s destined to remain a bystander when every time he tries to intervene fails. That is, until he ends up in the wrong place at the right time, running into the woods when he’s threatened by Hargrove, stumbling straight into Eddie’s hideout for dealing, looking like he saw a ghost when Eddie just raises one eyebrow skeptically. 

Even with that hint of hostility, Steve’s so relieved to have something so familiar that he just starts talking, trying to charm Eddie into being his friend again and it works. It’s the first touch of normal he’s had in this upside down version of his reality, and it’s the key that connects him back to the supernatural events. 

Their friendship leads him back to the kids when they join Hellfire. Robin eventually comes around once she sees Eddie visiting their job every day and learns Steve’s not who he used to be. Nancy catches them studying in the library together so they can both graduate on time and ends up sitting with them. 

At some point, Steve gets lost in the fantasy, lost in the years of friendship he’s developed with Eddie that starts to feel like home, the key to unraveling this mystery he’s found himself in, even if there’s this nagging voice in his head telling him it isn’t real. 

And of course, the magic eventually fades, the monsters under Hawkins come for them all the same, and when Steve makes the sacrifice play, this time it’s for all of them. But it’s also for everything he’s lost out on in this world, the moments he wasn’t there, all the times the people he loved were hurt and he couldn’t intervene because of his own stupid wish. 

He puts himself in danger because he finally understands that even if things were hard, even if they lost people in his reality, those moments bonded them and gave him a family, gave them all a family. Changing the circumstances doesn’t just magically make everything better, and in some ways, it has unintended consequences, even if he had the best intentions wishing all of it away. 

Even if he’s scarred for life and grasping to understand why him. They’re all an important piece of the puzzle, including Steve. So when he dies, looking into Eddie’s anguished eyes as he falls, and wakes up back in his world, a very similar and equally as panicked looking Eddie staring down at him, he doesn’t take that for granted.

He doesn’t have to go back to the beginning to make a change.

[fuctacles]

Dude, That's My Ghost!

A @steddieexchange fic for @hellfireloserclub !! I hope you like it. The whole first chapter is up on Ao3.

E | ~9k | no cw | Soulmates AU, Supernatural Elements, Magical Bonds, Ghost Sex, No UD, Magical Bonds | more tags on Ao3! | beta read by @blasvemous <3

Disappearing Act

The Universe is an amazing creation. In its vastness, it gives you a Soulmate, so you don't feel alone despite your brief and meaningless existence. It may not be perfect, but it's thoughtful, and that's more than you can say about its inhabitants.

And yet, in this benevolent Universe, there is Steve Harrington.

"Ah."

He's standing in front of a guy, their hands outstretched and bare, their Soul-marks visible. At least what's left of them. 

Steve watches in horror as the swarm of bats moves around his skin in panic, vanishing one by one as if sucked into his body. They've been with him for years and now they're just... gone.

When he looks up at the man he's just met, the nail bat on his forearm has vanished as well. He looks more surprised than terrified, though, twisting his arm curiously.

"Well..." He purses his lips. "I'm sorry, mate." He shrugs. "It was nice meeting you."

And before Steve can grab him, or collect himself at all, the man disappears into the crowd. He doesn't feel anymore the tether that helped him find the man in the first place. It's all gone. The Soul-mark, the connection, his Soulmate. Who was clearly right in front of him just a minute ago.

What the fuck had just happened?

Nobody has an answer for him. As far as he knows, it has never happened before, ever. Steve Harrington must be just a special kind of fucked up, hated by the universe. Destined to be unloved. Even though for a brief moment, he wasn't. For a second, he felt whole, with his Soulmate right in front of him, within reach of his hand, but as soon as their palms touched... it disappeared.

There are people without them, but no one whose mark would vanish, like a candy yanked out of a kid's hand. And every day Steve wonders, why him? In a world where everyone was leaving him, where having someone tied to him was his only hope, the only chance for love, why him?

He had left that music festival, where he met the man supposedly destined for him, right after, to grieve his loss in the solitude of his apartment. It felt like a piece of his soul had been torn out and something inside him ached, open and bleeding, with no way to patch it up.

The taped boxes of Robin's stuff were like an additional kick in the gut. She was leaving him soon too, off to live with her soulmate, which she gets to have. He loves it for her, of course he does, but it was easier to do knowing there was someone out there for him as well.

To not think about it, he finally focused on what he's been putting away ever since Robin said she was moving in with Vickie. Looking for a new place, a one-person apartment for himself, and nobody else. It takes over a month, but when he finds it, he finds it. He knows it's the place he wants to call home.

It's shit. 

A small apartment carved from an unused attic space, perfect for a desperate single student. The bathroom barely fits a shower and a toilet and doesn't have any space left for a sink. He has to wash his hands in the kitchen, or the space that he's supposed to call one. It's a little far from college but in a pinch, he could cash in on Robin's promise that he's always welcome at her new place, which is just a short walk away from their school.

It's perfect.

Even if Robin asks him once if he's punishing himself for something that's not his fault, like a really weird interpretation of a martyr. But he just opens his tiny window and lets her listen to the birds from the park below. All she can hear from her windows are the honking cars and yells of the students trying to get the best parking spot. And that's a point for the 'you rule' column as far as he's concerned.

The place has one more perk she doesn't know of and he's not sure which column it would classify in.

Because he's sharing it with a ghost.

It's almost alarming how quickly he accepts it. One day he's listening to music to unwind, and the next he finds a note on his desk telling him his taste in music is shit.

"Hello?" he asks to the room as a whole. Nobody could hide there. There simply wasn't enough space.

His eyes widen when his pen moves.

You won't see me, it writes. Can you play a rock station?

Steve only blinks.

"Uh, sure," he says, staring at the pen. "Do you know the frequency?"

He gets a few numbers in response and reaches for the dials of the radio to set it up. Soon, a song he doesn't recognize fills out the cramped space.

"This okay?"

Yes. Thank you so much.

Thoughtfully, Steve pulls out a notebook and opens it on a blank page.

"Are you a ghost?" he asks, staring at the faint blue lines.

What's a ghost, Steve? appears the message, slightly crooked despite the clear guidelines. The handwriting somehow fits the vibe of the music playing from the radio. 

"How do you know my name?" he frowns at the words.

It's all over your books?

"Fair," Steve huffs, sitting heavily by his desk. "I don't know, a dead person?" he answers the previous question.

Well, I didn't die. So. Not a ghost I guess.

"Then what?"

What's left when your body is taken away from you?

Steve's frown deepens. What is this, an impromptu quiz test?

"Uh, a soul?"

Then that's what I am, probably.

"So where's your body?" Steve asks, perplexed.

Some asshole demon took it.

"A demon?" he asks flatly, raising his eyebrows.

You're talking to a floating pen and the demon is what's unbelievable?

"Well, I'm sorry I'd rather not believe demons exist!" Steve scoffs, throwing his arms up.

Sorry to break it to you buddy but they do. And I've learned it the hard way.

"Yeah, I can tell," he murmurs.

Don't be sassy with me, I'll break all your mugs.

"We're not summoning a demon."

"Okay, sheesh. No need for violence." Steve rolls his eyes. "So, what happened?"

"We're not summoning a demon because they don't exist," Jeff elaborates.

"How about some make-believe, hm?" Eddie puts his hands on his hips, clearly disappointed in his bandmates. "A bonding activity to boost morale?"

"You know what would boost morale?" Gareth points his drumstick at him. "Band practice."

"Fine!" Eddie throws his hands in the air. "I'll do it myself, but don't cry later when I'll be the only one blessed by the metal gods!"

"We won't," Doug assures him dryly.

"So it's gods or demons after all? Can't pick a side?"

Eddie flips them off with both hands before grabbing his guitar. He knows they are right, though. Only practice and improvement can give them a chance at the next battle of the bands. They were already so close to winning this year and were slowly becoming recognizable in the city. Getting there was slow but reachable, which was not how Eddie usually does things.

That's why, even if it's just for the peace of his own mind, a spiritual placebo, if you will, he grabs himself a beer and pulls out his D&D notes. He did way too much research on demons for his last campaign not to have some fun with it.

The instructions are cheesy, but it's exactly what he needs—something in good fun and on theme, even if it was supposed to be a group activity. He copies all the symbols, and chants, and draws blood. With his eyes squeezed shut, he makes his wish.

"Whoever is listening, help my band make it big."

The old wooden beams creak with their age. Nothing happens.

He opens his eyes, blinking to clear his vision, and realizes he's relieved. Summoning an infernal being to his little attic apartment didn't sound as thrilling as he had been selling to his friends earlier that day. To be honest, he just wanted to do some weird metal shit with his band that they could later talk about in interviews. "We sold our souls for this album," would be a bonkers headline for the front page.

"That can be arranged."

Eddie shrieks.

He grabs tighter the knife he's still holding from his blood sacrifice and turns around. There on his bed, criss-crossed and relaxed, sits a creature of nightmares.

"What the fuck?!" Eddie's voice doesn't sound as deep and intimidating as he'd like it to.

"You summoned me," the intruder deadpans.

"Oh. Oh, right." It doesn't make him any less terrified. "Uh, what do you want?" he stammers, hoping to get the demon out of his space as soon as possible. He wants to call the boys, would love to hear Gareth's annoying voice right about now, actually.

"For your wish? I want in."

Eddie frowns.

"In?"

And then I held up my guitar and told him to hop in but he hopped into my body instead and here we are.

"You ever heard of a cursed instrument?"

Steve stares at the string of words. And stares. And stares.

I know I'm stupid you don't have to tell me.

"Oh thank god, because I didn't want to make you feel even worse."

He looks around the place and slowly points at the bed.

"So, that demon, was sitting on the same bed I slept in last night?'

Not on these covers, obviously, but yes.

"Holy shit." Steve feels himself shudder with cold dread. He knows all of this might be a lie, since there is no way for him to fact-check it, but the idea is disturbing enough. "And the summoning circle?" He looks down at the floorboards below his socked feet.

It was about here, but I guess the bastard cleaned it. Took all my shit with him too.

"So he's just living your life now?"

I'd guess so.

"Have you looked for him?"

Buddy the first thing I remember since then is waking up to you moving in

Steve frowns.

"What?"

Shit. What year is it?

"1986," he answers, his frown deepening.

Thank gods. Summer?

"September. The new semester just started. What the fuck, man, when did this happen?"

Spring break. Just a few months ago, apparently.

"That's half a year!" Steve points out. "And you were what, just, unconscious this whole time?"

Yeah. Maybe you helped, I don't know. Was someone else living here?

He shakes his head.

"I was told the previous tenant left without a word and they haven't even noticed at first."

Can't imagine a demon knowing the intricacies of renting an apartment.

It's normal for about two days, as far as living with a ghost can be. But it all spirals one night when Steve feels something touch him when he's trying to fall asleep.

Wait. What about my deposit?!

He jerks back in alarm and pulls back the covers but sees no stray items left there. Takes another look around, checking if something fell from the mattress, but sees nothing. He settles down against his pillow.

"Eddie?" he asks quietly.

He almost faints when the radio cracks to life. The dials switch and rotate and through the white noise of static, come bits of songs and voices until one breaks through.

"...what?..."

"This isn't happening..." Steve mutters to himself, eyes wide. "You could talk this whole time?!"

"...had no idea...you just...annoy me so much...had to speak up..."

"What the fuck, man?!"

"...let me sleep..."

"You sleep?!" He's fully awake now himself. "Why? What for?"

"...maybe you...drain my energy...with George Michael..."

"Fuck away from George Michael!" his voice cracks, now on the edge of hysterics.

"...you fuck away...was here first..."

"Yeah, and you fucked it up!"

Right after he says it, something falls on his chest, pinning him to the mattress.

"...low blow Steve..."

Steve blinks at the nothingness around him. On top of him. He feels no weight, no touch, but something isn't letting him move. His confused senses make his brain overheat.

"You can touch me?"

He feels the sting of a slap on his cheek, but he's too confused to feel pain.

"Ow?" is all he manages to say.

"...yup..."

The thing on top of him shifts, now off his chest but pinning him from the waist down, like someone is straddling him. He reaches up with his hands, searching for an invisible person.

"...don't...it feels wrong..."

"Sorry." He retracts his hand. Blinking rapidly as if it could give him an insight to the soul realm, he searches for any sign of thighs splayed over his body. "This is weird."

"...no shit..."

His palm, still raised, feels something soft and tingly, and his fingers spread like someone is slotting theirs in between. Steve feels something tighten in his chest, a longing he's been trying to bury deep inside.

"...can we...go back to sleep?..."

Steve lets out a short, surprised laugh.

"Are you kidding me? I don't think I've ever felt more awake than right now." Then, he frowns. "Have you been sleeping with me all this time?"

"...yeah?...there's only one bed..."

"Unbelievable," he murmurs to himself. The first time he shares a bed with a guy and it's a fucking ghost. Soul. Whatever.

"...you want me to...sleep on the floor?..."

"No," Steve groans, falling back against his pillow. "Just get off me and go to sleep."

Eddie doesn't leave, but he lets go of his hand. Something presses against his abdomen.

"...how about...I get you off?..."

"What?"

There's a pressure against his groin, someone's phantom butt cheeks grinding down on him. So much has been happening, that he hasn't even realized he woke up half-hard.

"No, it's alright—"

"...you sure?...you'll sleep like a baby..."

Steve lets out a surprised snort.

"That so, nurse Eddie?"

"...roleplay?...already?...you change mind quickly..."

"I was joking." Steve rolls his eyes, but Eddie grinds against him again.

"...I would make...a great nurse...I'm very caring...attentive..."

"That so?" Steve quirks his eyebrow, simultaneously telling his brain that he's not going to seek care and attention from the ghost in his apartment.

Though, on the other hand, he doesn't have a Soulmate anyway.

He just wishes there was a waist he could grab onto, a body he could feel, a smile he could see. But as Eddie brings him to completion, he realizes this is all he might be getting from life.

read more

thirst squad tags: @wheneverfeasible @phantomcat94

[starshideurfics]

Thirsty Thursday - Ring My Bell

steddie, omegaverse, flagging/signaling culture, mdni 🔞

Based on a fun worldbuilding convo in the SHOM discord that’s still buzzing around my head. Credit to @itcanbepalped and @jeffgoldblumsmulletinthe90s for vibing on this one

Steve’s parents never wore rings. They said it was gauche; very new money of them.

“Why bother with jewelry on your fingers that will get banged up on your hands when you can wear a necklace,” Clarissa would say when she spotted someone at the club with a ring, or god forbid two! Her own betrothal and bonding necklaces were layered, drawing the eye to her bite.

That was the whole point of a necklace. Either it emphasized a bonding bite, or it highlighted the fact that the wearer’s bonding gland was intact.

Steve had been given a necklace after he presented, a simple gold chain with a bejeweled padlock.

Pretty fucking gauche if you ask him.

Steve wouldn’t have worn it, but it was expected. Plenty of omegas wore something similar; he’d rather have his grandmother’s old claddagh ring, but his mother said it was low class.

So he wears his necklace every day, a reminder that he belongs to his father until he is mated. Then, he’ll belong to his alpha. Legally. At least until Congress hot its act together and passed some of the proposed equity laws.

Maybe his mom was right, rings were more easily lost. They tainted the scent of your hands with harsh metal.

It’s just that he’s seen some interesting ones, shapes so far beyond the standard lock, circle, and eternity knot. Meanings far more individualized than his necklace.

Which is why when the pups start following after Eddie Munson, Steve really notices his rings.

He gets what the book means. Or, he thinks he does. Munson doesn’t wear blockers, ever. His scent is an open book.

And the skull could be one of those gothy, ‘I mate for life’ things.

But the pig makes no sense. And no scents. Pigs don’t typically have a smell worth advertising.

The ring on his right hand is so simple in comparison that Steve gets stymied there, too.

He drops it, not wanting to reveal his interest in anything to do with Eddie Munson.

Steve is perfectly ready to let it stay a mystery until the night he comes to pick Dustin up after Hellfire only for Eddie to be the only one left in the lot, hauling his stuff out to his van. 

“Sinclair got his permit; your chuckleheads all went with him so he could show off.”

“Oh,” Steve says dumbly, only for his brain to catch up and spit out, “And they’ve never heard of a phone?”

“Real butthead behavior on their part,” Eddie agrees with a smirk. “Anyway, sorry you came out here for nothing.”

“Eh, could be worse.” Steve’s thinking monsters or g-men.

Of course, Eddie doesn’t know that. He gives Steve an appraising look. Then he surprises Steve. “I could make it up to you,” Eddie says with a crooked grin.

“How?” Steve asks, swallowing back the ‘not your fault’ that almost slipped out automatically. Because it kinda is.

Steve wouldn’t be here if not for Eddie’s club and the hold it has on Steve’s merry band of twerps. So he’s open to whatever Eddie’s offering to make them square.

He shouldn’t be surprised when Eddie pulls a joint from his pocket, sets it in his mouth to light, and inhales.

He holds it towards Steve as he blows out a stream of smoke. “We can hang, take the edge off your night.”

Steve takes the joint. Eddie grins and skips over to his van, opening the back door and giving a joking bow.

Steve laughs. He didn’t expect to be charmed so easily.

But he is, and after a couple hits he feels relaxed and loose in a way that would be fine in the safety of his bedroom, not so much when he has to drive.

He’s going to say as much, tell Eddie he should clear his head, when his eye catches the shine of silver on his fingers.

It’s like his brain isn’t connected to his mouth as he asks, “Why the pig?”

Eddie looks up from the box of cassettes he’s looking through and furrows his brow. “Huh?”

Steve’s brain must be cut off from his body too, since he reaches out and snatches up Eddie’s left hand.

“The pig,” Steve says, tapping on the offending ring. “Like, the book and the skull I think I got, but I’m coming up empty on the pig.”

“I’m surprised you knew it was a book.”

“But it’s book-shaped!”

“You mean rectangular?”

“But it is a book right?”

“Yeah.”

“So that’s about your scent,” Steve feels smug as he says it.

“I don’t smell like books,” Eddie says, clearly confused. “That’d be pretty awesome, though. Old books smell nice. Unless they’ve been in a basement too long.”

Steve nods sagely. This is obvious wisdom. No one wants to jump your bones if you smell like a musty basement.

Then he remembers his point. “You don’t smell like books, you are a book. Easy to read your scent ‘cuz you don’t wear blockers.”

“Don’t like ‘em. Make my head all fuzzy, and not in a fun way.”

“And the skull is a ‘til death’ thing right?”

“It’s actually a vampire skull.” Eddie points out the elongated canines. “You know, ‘the eternal kiss’ or whatever. I think bites should mean something.”

Steve nods again, feels a weird pull low in his belly. “That’s cool. Not enough alphas I know have that opinion.” He’s seen too many broken bonds at the country club and his father’s company Christmas parties.

Seen too many couples who shouldn’t have bonded in the first place.

“So, what’s the pig?”

Eddie looks down where Steve is still holding his hand. “Ever heard of a truffle hunter?”

“Like the chocolates?”

“No, the mushrooms! You’re rich, don’t you know about fancy mushrooms!”

Steve shakes his head, feels dumb. 

But Eddie just accepts his ‘no’ and moves on, “Well, they’re these rare mushrooms, and pigs like to eat them, so they’re really good at sniffing them out. And that’s me. I fully plan to sniff out my scentmate, and until then…” He shrugs. “Plenty of hot omega pussy to smell.” 

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, Eddie slaps his right hand over his whole face in shame. “Shit, sorry. Not appropriate in front of an omega. Or anyone. I promise I’m not a creep trying to get in your pants.”

But Steve’s mouth has gone dry. He wears blockers still, for work, the scent neutralizing deodorants and perfumes good at covering up his scent. The only place he doesn’t apply it is his crotch, because no one should be getting close enough anyway.

Suddenly he wants Eddie to be close enough.

He’s still holding Eddie’s hand, can still smell the edge of his woody scent over the weed. “It’s okay,” he says. Turns Eddie’s palm toward him and brings it to his nose.

The metal smell is there. But also pine and herbs, deepened by dark musk. His tongue darts out for a taste.

His hand mostly tastes like skin, a little like salt and smoke, but the scent is still there. Makes him want more. He pulls back, looks at Eddie who is staring at him with awe on his face.

“Okay, Mr. Trufflehunter, how do I smell?”

“You’ve got blockers on-”

“Not everywhere.”

His movements are slow, giving Eddie every chance to back out as he slides his fingers into Eddie’s hair, gripping the side of his head, and guiding him down towards Steve’s crotch.

Towards his wet pussy.

continued in part 2

[19blackbutterfly97-blog]

Twisted Bonds - Part 7

Word Count: 2118

Warnings: Arguing, brief violence, tiny mention of a gvn(literally the last line)

A.N: I feel like this part took me way too long to finish for what it is but here we go! Hope you enjoy! Also, I know I have a few followers that continue to like& reblog. I see you, you're awesome! Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part!!!!!

Twisted Bonds Masterlist

>>>><<<<

A small, steady stream of morning sun rays peeked through the curtains and washed over Alice's face. The soft sound of breathing cut through the silence in the room, the comforting scent of leather and thunderstorms cocooned around her and for a moment everything was right in the world. Until Bucky shifted behind her, his warm hand running down her side, and the softness of the morning fractured. Alice's eyes went wide and she carefully shot up in bed and moved away to look at him. Her heart threatened to pound out of her chest as she stared at the sleeping Alpha. What the hell happened last night?

She wasn't entirely sure when she ended up in Bucky's room curled up in his arms, but she was happy to be there. At least she was until she realized that she was wearing his favorite red Henley.She took a minute to quietly take stock of herself. No pain, no soreness, no missing underwear, no indication that anything other than something purely innocent happened last night. She had no explanation for changing into his shirt but it was more comfortable than her dress and for that she was grateful. Still though, she panicked and hurried to find her clothes. She'd return the shirt later, for now though she had to get out of there and act like everything was normal.

Alice bolted from the room, hoping like hell that everyone would still be sleeping and that Steve was still out on his morning run. Her plan was to run downstairs, start the coffee then go back upstairs to get dressed. Quick, easy, simple, fool-proof but Alice of all people should know that good luck slams into a brick wall so fast. She didn't worry much that Bucky's Henley was barely long enough to cover everything but it didn't mean much when she was under the scrutinizing gaze of a familiar figure from her past. The kitchen was still dark, barely illuminated by the morning sun and single light above the deep setting sink. She had grown to feel safe in the Avenger's living quarters so she didn't think to look around before padding over to the coffee maker to press the start button.

"Wow, it smells like toxic masculinity and desperation in here." The thick accent cut through the kitchen, the voice bouncing off the silent walls.

Alice froze with her finger on the button. "Really? I think it smells more like a Beta bitch that's a little jealous."

"Jealous? Of what your split ends?"

"No, jealous of my sparkling success." Alice answers with a smirk as she turns around. "Went to Russia this time, huh?"

"Eh, I liked it well enough." The figure steps out of the shadows and shrugs. "How's my baby sister?"

"Can't complain." Alice shrugs and steps around the island. "Why're you here, Yelena?"

"I can't come check on my sister? Make sure she's not being a... menace?" Yelena grins and opens her arms wide for a hug.

"Never said that." Alice grins before rushing over and wrapping her arms around her sister. "So, you're keeping the accent?"

"Of course I am. Makes me sound like even more of a badass." The girls chuckle then pull away. "And for the record, your success isn't sparkling."

"You say that, yet I have an office in the tower and you have a condemned mini-van." Alice takes a moment to make sure the shirt is still covering everything before looking back at Yelena. "Does the team know you're here?"

"Mhm, Natasha called me a few days ago. They were expecting me." Yelena had been on a few missions with the Avengers in the past and had become friends with most of them, especially Natasha, to the point that they were more like sisters.

Their connection started from both enduring the brutal conditions of the Red Room when they were first trained. Both had enlisted in the military, quickly moving through the ranks as Beta women. Natasha and Yelena were offered the training and positions they previously held under false pretenses. Both were told they would be part of a special division of National Security, higher up than even the Secret Service, but they were lied to. Instead, they were basically handed over to a secret society that was building an army of assassins to try to take over the government from the inside. It took both of them years to finally escape and start to rejoin life again. Natasha took a job with S.H.I.E.L.D then joined the Avengers when they formed. Yelena however, had a harder time with normal society. She was able to blend in and act like anyone else but when it came to work she was a bit of a wild card. More apt to contract kills as a mercenary than following the rules and regulations that S.H.I.E.L.D seemed to demand. Yelena liked the solitude of it. Natasha could conform when she needed to then, there was someone like Alice who always followed the rules, typical Omega.

Yelena let Alice wrap her up in another tight hug. "I missed you."

"Me too." Yelena smiles and sniffs the air again. "Why do you smell like Barnes?"

Alice tenses and pulls back a little. "What do you mean?"

"Don't be stupid. You smell like Barnes." Yelena pushes Alice back, holding her an arm's length away to look at her. A knowing smirk slowly tugs at her lips. "Is that his shirt?" Alice just stares at her. Why is everyone so perceptive? "Oh my God! It totally is!"

"Drop it, please. This was a one-time thing."

"No, oh hell no. I'm not letting it go. Did you two... you know?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Gods, no!" Alice scoffs, pushing Yelena's hands off of her. "What makes you think that?"

"You smell sweeter than usual."

"Ugh, you're such a weirdo. Why were you scenting me?"

"I'm just trying to make sure you're okay. Being an analyst is one thing, working for or with the Avengers is something totally different. Especially if you're living with them."

"Nothing happened. It was purely innocent." Alice defends again, crossing her arms over her chest.

Yelena nods a little as she circles around Alice, looking her over with another scrutinizing eye. "Doesn't look innocent. Maybe I should go up and ask."

"Don't you dare!"

"Why not?" Yelena shrugs and turns towards the stairs. "If it was purely innocent as you say then neither of you would mind."

"Stop! Yelena, please! He didn't do anything!" Alice pleaded again with more force as she scrambled to jump in front of her sister. She grabs Yelena's shoulders and pushes back, both are a little surprised by the outburst and the extra strength Alice showed. She's always had the capability but never actually did anything about it. She fights back a smile when the thought that Bucky trained her crosses her mind. Now wasn't the time to swoon.

"The fuck do you mean? You smell like Barnes and you're wearing his shirt."

"He didn't touch me like that. I would've remembered."

"You slept in his bed and he didn't touch you?"

"I slept in his nest and he didn't touch me and the way it was built wasn't like an Alpha building for a rut... It's like he built it for an Omega."

"You've got to be kidding me." Yelena lets out an exasperated sigh. "He built a nest? For who?"

"Uhh... well..." Alice mutters, her hands dropping from Yelena's shoulders and finding the frayed sleeve ends of Bucky's shirt. "Me, I guess..."

Yelena stares at her for a moment, bewildered then angered. "If you'll excuse me. I'm going to kill your boyfriend." She finally says in an eerily calm voice that sends shivers down Alice's spine before pushing past and bolting upstairs.

The suddenness of it stuns Alice for a moment before she rushes to chase after her, yelling again for Yelena to stop. She doesn't listen of course but it's worth a shot, right? Both were too distracted with their sisterly arguing to notice anything around them. The coffee previously finished had been long abandoned and forgotten as most of the team started to wake up and hover in their doorways to watch the drama unfold. Then, as if that wasn't bad enough, Steve had seen everything: Alice in Bucky's shirt while admitting to sleeping in Bucky's room. Yelena would have been relentless in her pursuit of defending her little sister's honor if the 6'2" Alpha hadn't stepped out of his room at the exact time the sisters collided into each other then fell to the floor.

"Do I even want to know what's going on right now?" Bucky asked, scrubbing a hand over his face. He's clearly tired and doesn't quite have the energy to deal with this yet.

"You slept with my sister!"

"No! We slept next to each other!" Alice yells defensively.

"He took advantage of you!"

"His dick stayed in his pants."

"Look at him, Alice, he's not wearing any pants!" Yelena argues, motioning to Bucky.

"Boxers. I'm wearing boxers." He groans and bends down to help Alice off the floor. "You alright?"

Alice nods and does her best to readjust the shirt. Her cheeks are flushed from embarrassment when she realizes that everyone now knows their business. She glances at the rest of the team, then at Yelena. "Are all the dramatics really necessary?"

Yelena narrows her eyes. "What do you think?"

"Bitch." Alice mutters under her breath as Bucky wraps an arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her to his side in an attempt to shield her from the others.

"So... is anybody going to explain anything?" Tony asks, trying hard to keep his eyes averted from Alice.

Sam starts snickering from the end of the hallway, a cup of coffee in his hand. "Man, I knew this was going to be good but I didn't realize just how entertaining it'd actually be."

"What are you talking about?"

"I figured grumpy could use a little friend. She got the job easily enough, though I didn't plan on a few things. I didn't think Steve would stick his nose in the middle of things, but hey, what's a little friendly competition between friends?" He smiles proudly and walks closer to the group. "Also, I didn't know how easy it was to get an Omega drunk, didn't expect him to have already built a nest, nor did I plan on Alice being Yelena's little sister."

"Our last name is the same. How did you not expect that?"

Sam shrugs. "I dunno, figured it was a fluke or something."

"You orchestrated this entire thing?" Yelena turns her glare on Sam who just grins.

"I'll take your thanks whenever you're ready."

"Aww, thanks buddy." Yelena taunts before connecting her fist with his jaw. He stumbles back a little and spills a good bit of his coffee on the floor. "Happy now?"

Sam rubs his jaw and hands his mug off to Steve. "She's right, you are a bitch."

"Oh, that's it!" Yelena hollers and starts swinging again. Sam, now hands free, swings back. Bucky grips Alice a little tighter and pulls her away from what he perceives as danger with a growl while the two fight. Steve stares in disbelief for a minute before passing the mug to Tony who's fighting to hold back his laughter. Clint's sudden laughing from the vents isn't so subtle, which only further annoys Steve.

"These damn people." He mutters and finally steps forward. "ENOUGH! SIT BOTH OF YOU!" He roars using an Alpha Command. On instinct the pair pull away from each other and drop to the floor.

"Bastard." Yelena mumbles and flips Steve off once she registers what happened.

"Whatever is going on between Bucky and Alice is between Bucky and Alice. They're adults who can make their own decisions. Sam, you're going to stop pulling strings. Yelena, you're not going to fight anybody for touching your sister. She's an adult."

"She's an Omega surrounded by Alphas. Super powered Alphas."

Steve cuts her a glare and growls. "If you're here, you're part of my pack which means you're going to follow my rules or you're going to leave. Got it?" Yelena continues to glare at him but nods her head. "Good. Now, I think everyone needs some time to cool off and..." He trails off, glancing at Alice. "Uh... get ourselves together. Go find something to do that doesn't involve breaking people's noses."

Everyone grumbles and groans to themselves but starts to dissipate to carry on with their morning. Yelena starts to follow the others downstairs but stops when she realizes that Alice and Bucky haven't moved a muscle. She can barely hear their whispered conversation.

"You built me a nest."

He smiles fondly at her. "I did."

"I thought you didn't like me."

Bucky lets out a low chuckle and brushes some hair from her face. "Lil Bit, if I ever say I don't like you I want you to take a .45 and put a slug between my eyes. Got it?"

>>>><<<<

Twisted Bonds Masterlist

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[thy-lovelylionheart]

Introducing one of my favorite Stranger Things headcanons:

Demiromantic Steve Harrington

(disclaimer: this post is written from the viewpoint of Steve being heterosexual, tho I don’t think the interpretation of him potentially being bi conflicts with this analysis)

For those who don’t know, the most common definition of demiromantic is: “[describing] people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone”

Based on what we’ve seen in the show, Steve desperately wants to be in a loving, mutual romantic relationship, and in s4 he complains to Robin that he’s unhappy only having relationships centered around sex. He’s able to experience sexual attraction easily and readily, so he’s likely allosexual, but it appears that romantic attraction is something that only forms after he develops a strong bond with someone.

Case in point: Nancy Wheeler

It’s established in s1 that Steve is a player who is known for having casual hookups, not exclusive relationships, before he and Nancy began what initially started as a fling. But Nancy was someone who challenged him repeatedly, who didn’t let him coast on a shallow relationship but who he had to form an emotional bond and actual relationship with before she (thought she) felt ready and comfortable sleeping with him. And because that emotional bond was given time and space to form on Steve’s end, he was able to feel romantic attraction toward and develop romantic feelings for Nancy. Then, as they remained an exclusive couple for a year after s1, Steve did truly fall in love with Nancy.

Case in point #2: Robin Buckley

I actually don’t believe Steve actually developed romantic feelings for Robin—but I think he started feeling romantic attraction for her before she came out to him.

Lemme explain.

I just rewatched s3 over the past few days, and they never show Steve falling for Robin. The most we get is Dustin teasing Steve and that one hand-holding moment that isn’t even really played all that intensely and it’s brushed aside very quickly. It’s not lingered on. Steve don’t pine after her, he doesn’t look at her longingly. There’s nothing in the cinematography to create a sense of falling in love.

What does happen is that Steve forms a strong emotional bond with Robin, something he’s only ever done once before with a girl around his age: with Nancy. So once that emotional bond is there and he’s able to start feeling romantic attraction toward her, he jumps at it and latching onto it and mistakes it for romantic feelings. But once that avenue is cut off when she comes out to him, he has no trouble with and feels no angst about that emotional bond remaining platonic, because he never had romantic feelings for her. Just romantic attraction.

So, what’s going on in s4?

I think that, in s4, Steve is clearly at a point where he is longing to be mutually in love and have a mutual and exclusive and happy romantic relationship. He doesn’t want casual anymore, he wants commitment. But he hasn’t been able to develop an emotional bond with any of the women he’s pursued in the interim, and so he only experiences sexual attraction toward them, not romantic attraction. This has left him feeling unfulfilled.

And so, once he starts spending time with Nancy again due to the UD related events, he once again experiences the previously-established (yet now altered) emotional bond and the romantic attraction he feels toward Nancy, and it dredges up old feelings. Because he’s feeling so unfulfilled, he latches onto this romantic attraction and old romantic feelings because those feelings are what he’s been so desperately longing for, and the resurgence of that attraction and those feelings cause him to believe that perhaps Nancy Wheeler is the only person he’ll ever love romantically.

But he doesn’t understand why that is. It’s not the sex that’s impeding him, it’s that he hasn’t realized that his ability to develop romantic feelings is contingent on developing an emotional bond, so when he tries to cultivate a romantic relationship but doesn’t focus on nurturing that emotional bond, he becomes frustrated and feels unfulfilled.

And part of it is also definitely that he’s too caught up in pursuing women he feels aesthetically and sexually attracted to rather than seeking out personalities that he admires or enjoys being around, which he needs in order to form that emotional bond.

And it’s clear he doesn’t understand Nancy fundamentally as a person, because the married life dream he describes to her isn’t something she wants. It’s antithetical to her ambitions.

So yeah. Demiromantic Steve Harrington my beloved.

(I put this as a headcanon instead of a theory because I don’t believe we’ll ever know for sure if it’s canon, but it’s how I personally interpret Steve Harrington’s character.)

[garbinge]

Superman (5)

Javier Peña x F!Reader

30 Day Fic Challenge

Warnings: All my fics are 18+. Cursing, anger, tension.

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: 5 times Character A (Javi) helped Character B (Reader), and one time Character B (Reader) helped character A (Javi).  Javi helps you even when you two aren't on the best terms.

A/N: This is part 5 of 6 of this mini series I’ve had on the back burner for months!!! Just a little childhood friends to lovers. <3 

Narcos Taglist: @drabbles-mc @narcolini​ @justreblogginfics @Hausofmamadas​

Story Index Here

“What the fuck do they expect me to do? Sit back and do nothing? What was the point in bringing a medical team out here? For what?” Your voice was loud over the phone, not letting any greeting or pleasantries be spoken first, just diving right to the problem. 

Javi’s breath hitched for a moment hearing your voice. It was the first time in weeks, since that night actually. If he was being honest, he expected to never hear from you again. 15 years of friendship down the drain but the pity party he was throwing for himself convinced him it was a reasonable punishment for what he did. His eyes immediately darted to Steve and Connie who were in his apartment for dinner, something about creating a sense of normalcy. Javi knew the minute he boarded that plane that his life was about to change completely, its what made losing his friendship with you bearable. Not being home where he’d run into you or be reminded of you was the best thing for him. So the last thing he needed was normalcy, he wanted things to feel as different as possible. 

But now, he was standing in his apartment in Colombia, with the two newest people in his life that he felt like he had known for years as you screamed over the phone about something he had absolutely no clue about. The thing with Connie and Steve was that time passed differently in Colombia, specifically when you worked or associated with the DEA, things needed to move quicker, you needed to build your bonds and choose who to trust fast. But yet, Javi felt awkward. While Steve knew things about Javi, he never mentioned you. He knew things about Texas, about Javi’s upbringing, even his Dad’s ranch, but nothing about you. 

“Uh,” Javi made eye contact with Connie before turning his body away from them, not able to go far since the phone was connected to the wall. The way your name rolled off his tongue grounded you immediately. You knew calling him was the best option after what you just went through. It was ao relieving that you missed the tone he had soaked your name in. 

It had confusion behind it, a tang of frustration, maybe a little anger. 

“What, uh-“ Javi stuttered, completely unsure what to do or say. 

“He’s talking to a girl!” Connie whispered to Steve in excitement. 

Steve had been blissfully unaware as he reached over the table for a second helping. Connie’s swat to his chest to grab his attention, causing him to drop the serving spoon. His annoyance grew as he turned to Connie with a questionable look. 

“What now?” His shoulders dropped and Connie nudged him towards Javi on the phone. “Peña talking to a girl, not big news Connie.” Steve moved back to grabbing the food. 

Now, he was right. Javi had always been a flirt, that was something that didn’t change even though his setting did. Whatever it took to catch Escobar, right? Javi might have offered a comment or two to women they came across to get information, something that professionally was for sure considered as crossing the line but nothing too crazy. 

“No, Steve. This is THE girl.” Connie smirked as she saw Javi trip up on his words, not having a single full sentence leave his mouth since he answered.

“THE girl?” Steve questioned thinking back if Javi’s ever mentioned anything. “He’s never said anything about having a wife or even a girlfriend.” 

Connie rolled her eyes, and stood up. “Come on, let’s give him privacy.” 

With that, she was dragging Steve out of Javi’s apartment with a wave and right before she closed the door she peaked her head back in and spoke at a stage whisper. “I want details next time I see you!!” 

Javi closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall in defeat. 

“Oh sorry, I didn’t realize you had company.” Your heart sank hearing the woman’s voice in the background. You weren’t mad, you weren’t even sure what you had expected from him.

“No, no,” Javi stumbled still on his words but spoke with more urgency. “that was just my partner and his wife, they came by for dinner.” His hand trailed up to rake through his hair. 

“Oh, that’s nice.” You felt like you had just intruded, even though you were on the phone it felt like you had just walked in on everyone and all eyes were on you. You had never felt like this with Javi, you had come over plenty of times unannounced during dinner time at his house, even when he lived alone. You would cold call him frequently, but in this moment you felt beyond awkward.

Javi sighed, since Connie and Steve had left, he figured now was the best time as any to get into everything with you. 

“Didn’t think I’d hear from you.” Javi settled against the wall. 

“What?” You were genuinely shocked. Javi was your best friend, of course he’d hear from you?

“It’s been 5 weeks.” 

It was a matter of fact coming from him. Like that sentence alone explained where he was coming from, but on the other side you looked deeper into it, knowing he had been keeping track. 

“I just needed some time. Things have been, well, crazy.” You offered an honest but half truth. 

“Tell me about it.” Javi nodded. There was some silence on the line, just minor static from the landline. “So I take it you got my letter since you dialed my number.” 

“I was at the airport.” You blurted out. 

Javi didn’t know how to process that. So he just asked for a repetition of your sentence. 

“You what?”’

“I was at the airport, in my dress, with your letter.” You repeated with more detail. 

“And?” He said, the anger starting to poison his voice. 

“I saw you and I realized if I said anything to you, if I approached you, you wouldn’t go. Or you would go, and both of those options just didn’t seem like ones I could handle.” 

“So you let me believe this entire time that our friendship was over? That was something you could handle? Because you knew it wasn’t.” 

When he put it like that it sounded way worse than what it really was for you. You didn’t want to be the reason he stayed, but you also couldn’t send him off with everything that happened. 

“I didn’t know it wasn’t.” You tried to plea with him. 

“If you read the note…” He trailed off without finishing his sentence. 

“The note is,” You wanted to argue with him but you couldn’t tarnish the note, it was special, it was everything you wish Javi said to you about this opportunity, about your friendship, your relationship, it did make everything better for you, and even though he didn’t say it, you knew it meant the friendship wasn’t over. But from Javi’s point of view, the radio silence from you was all he had to go off of. 

“The note is everything I wished you told me.” 

“That’s why I wrote it.” 

The silence took over and all you could hear was slight static on the other line and light breathing from Javi. 

“So they’re red taping you?” He changed the conversation. 

“Big time.” You looked around your living quarters to make sure no one was around, although they likely recorded the phone calls. 

“How long you been on assignment?” He was curious but also a little worried, not knowing where you were, what you were up to, it was better when he was in the complete dark thinking you were still in Texas. 

“A week and a half. When you left, I applied to a bunch of stuff, just wanted to get out. Everything reminded me of you.” 

“How’s that going?” He knew the answer because even in a completely different country he still find his mind thinking of you. 

You didn’t say anything, just laughed at the comment because you knew what it meant for the both of you. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you at the airport. You just looked… different.” 

It was true, it wasn’t the only reason you didn’t approach him but it was one of them. 

“I feel different.” He raised his eyebrows and ran his hand over his face. 

“They red taping you out there?” You asked him the same question he asked you. 

“There’s a lot of unofficial field outings.” He explained in the best way possible without saying much at all. 

“You sound exhausted.” 

“Don’t really sleep much these days.” 

“The man who could make a bed out of anything, anywhere can’t sleep? Things are upside down.” You teased. 

“I haven’t talked to you in 5 weeks, things are extremely upside down.” 

It was said so easily but it landed on your heart so heavily. 

“What are we doing?” You asked, confused what this part of life meant for you. 

“You wanna work somewhere without red tape?” Javi asked, not really answering your question. 

“Yes, obviously.” 

“I can pull some strings, we could use a medic down here, there’s actually a hospital down the road from us, my partner’s wife actually works there, could get the agency to sign off on having someone internal join down there.” 

“You convincing me or yourself?”

“The suits.” He laughed. “But I’m serious. I could figure it out.” 

“Always saving me, Peña. Even when you hate me.” 

“Could never hate you.” He sighed giving in to his frustration and just being happy to hear your voice and look forward to the thought of seeing you again.

[iwudbutnah]

A Cornucopia for You!

Ransom Drysdale, Bucky Barnes; friends to lovers, idiots in love, secret dating, miscommunication; coffee shop, soulmate; angst

Being alive was nice, no longer being under strict orders was better, but one thing Bucky Barnes struggled with in the modern day was the fact that his soulmate was likely no longer out there. The poor person probably passed all alone. He couldn’t hold them and comfort them in their final days.

It was a common subject of therapy for him. Now that Steve and the remnants of his old life were gone, Bucky didn’t know what to fight for. But another benefit of the modern day was the fact that there was an increasing amount of people who were fighting against the forced fate that was the supposed soulmate bond.

Among them was you, one of the former SHIELD agents that had worked to deal with the more secret cases, which was how you met Bucky. With your dangerous line of work, you didn’t think it worthwhile to go searching for love high and low. There was important work to be done in saving the world and you were more than happy to find peace in what was right in front of you: Bucky.

To get out of the stuffy workplace, you and Bucky would go out to a local coffee shop in the city. First, it was as friends, but eventually, it started to become more like dating. That, and the fact that he would come to your apartment door like clockwork after a nightmare. In the darkness, you’d hold him, comfort him, the two of you falling into your own dance.

Bucky knew deep down, though, that your soulmate was out there, and at some point the invisible string would pull you away. He also knew that dating the Winter Soldier in the eyes of the public would only bring you pain, so he insisted on keeping it a secret and did his best to shove down his worries. He’d enjoy the time he had with you despite the way you said nothing could ever make you leave him.

So the two of you continued your dates, chatting and laughing at the coffee shop. As you took a sip of your drink, though, something felt different. All of a sudden, your heart started getting warm, feeling like it was pressing against your rib cage, making you almost lurch out of your chair. And through the glass door, you watched a stranger with a sweater and well-kept hair walk in. His eyes locked directly on yours, and suddenly, it was like a wave crashed over you. You knew everything about him all at once.

“Ransom. It’s you.”

In all of his memories, you’d never seen him smile past childhood, but right now, he was beaming at you. You knew you had told Bucky, who was far from your mind right now, that only an intervention of the universe could tear you apart from him, you just didn’t realize that it would happen this way.

First of all thank you so much. I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving if you celebrate.

I feel so bad for Bucky. They have a genuine connection and though she promised only an intervention of the universe could tear them apart seems the universe chose that moment the be a prick. Seems the soulmate could do it, breaking her word and his heart. Can I be greedy and have them both. There’s enough love to go around. Besides Ransom is bound to piss me off sooner or later it’s just his personality and it would be nice to have a buffer or someone to release tensions with.

[onceuponastory]

trust your gut - the winter soldier x reader

Part 3 of my Ghost Story AU - Read the previous part here

Plot: Avengers HQ is the safest place for Y/N and Bucky to be... right? Pairing: The Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Mentions of violence/abuse, trauma, nightmares, pain, torture, brainwashing, weapons, and everything Bucky did as the Winter Soldier, and had done to him by HYDRA. Please use your own discretion. As always if I miss any triggers, let me know. Notes: Part three, let’s go! Sorry it took me a while, but I hope you like it. Not beta’d, so any mistakes are my own.

They take Y/N to her new safe house that night. Or rather, her safe apartment. She takes a few minutes to walk around, letting everything: her new home, Bucky, Steve, Sam… sink in. The small and basic apartment has only the essentials she needs after her life was turned upside down. Of course, she knows she can’t really expect them to provide her with more than the basics… but it’s just so empty. Devoid of the love and laughter she shared in her grandma’s house. Love and laughter that she shared with Bucky.

She misses him, misses his presence. Even when he was downstairs holding a myriad of weapons was better than this, this isolation. She misses the way they bonded and laughed together. The hours they would spend talking because Bucky’s nightmares wouldn’t let him sleep, and because he had no idea what else to do. He told her that she didn’t have to do that, but she appreciated his company enough to do it. And honestly, she had started to feel safe around him by that point, and trusted him enough to protect her. 

Y/N sighs, pouring herself a glass of water. Even though she’s incredibly glad he’s found his friends and family again… a part of her wishes they never came here. They were happy together, just the two of them. And Bucky wouldn’t be locked up like a caged animal, because she trusts him.

“God, that’s a horrible thing to say.” She whispers. “This is the best thing for him. His friends are here, and they’ll get him the help he needs.”

Yet, despite how much she repeats that point, the fear in her gut doesn’t dissipate.

Miles away, Bucky is feeling the exact same worry. Despite how kind and understanding Y/N is, he hates how she saw him like that, all locked up. Truthfully, he’s still amazed that she wants to help him, even though she saw him as the Winter Soldier, and knows exactly what he’s capable of. She’s the best thing that happened to him in a long time. He doesn’t want to lose her; and he refuses to let HYDRA's depravity touch her.

He knows this is the safest place for them both to be, and that this anxiety is natural. But there’s just something about this that seems wrong, an uneasy feeling that just won’t go. Honestly, he wishes they’d never come here either. That it would be just the four of them, or even just him and Y/N. He misses her and her company so much. All he can do is close his eyes and think of her.

And for now… that’s enough for him to get by on.

As she and Bucky slowly settle into their new lives, Y/N’s visited him almost every day she can, or asked Steve and Sam to tell him that she says hi. He still isn’t sure if he’s worth all this, especially Y/N’s love and support. Although, he appreciates it more than anything in the world. Finally, he has something to look forward to in life that isn’t getting out of a HYDRA base. He has friends, people who actually give a shit about him. And it’s all thanks to Y/N.

Each visit, she brings something with her. With each item, she tells Bucky a story, either about her life, his, or something completely unrelated. Regardless, it lets Bucky feel a connection to life, and to Y/N. It gives him something to look forward to, rather than constantly thinking about his impending future.

“So, this is from when my grandma took me to the beach one summer. We went swimming, made sandcastles, all that fun stuff. The water was freezing, but she still dragged me in, saying it would wake me up a bit.” She chuckles, her words trailing off as she goes back to that day. The sand covering her legs, the bitter coldness of the water. Back then, her only worries were English tests, and which college she was going to.

Now, looking back on that time, she can’t help but laugh. If only Y/N back then knew what was coming, and the fear she’d be subjected to now.

“Sorry. Can’t imagine that story was interesting for you.” She chuckles. After all, Bucky fought in World War Two, and now he’s listening to her family holiday stories.

“Are you kidding? Of course it’s interesting.” She raises a brow.

“Really?” Bucky notices the doubt on her face, her worry that he’s just saying that to make her feel better. In fact, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Her visits are the best thing in his life. She’s the best thing in his life.

“Of course. I know I say this every week, but thank you for your stories. They give me something to look forward to, something to take my mind off… all this.” He chuckles. “And you telling me about the beach just makes me want to go there again. I haven’t been there in years. Decades probably. God knows I could use the sun after spending every day in this cell.”

Even though Y/N knows that by this point, Bucky is at least a hundred years old, his words still surprise her. Honestly, you can’t tell he’s that old. To her, he still looks just the same as he did in the 40s. Sometimes, she wonders what it would be like to know him back then, as the Sergeant rather than the soldier. To go dancing with him, or to the Stark Expo. To know Bucky as he used to be, without this trauma haunting him. Although, she’s not so sure that Bucky is completely gone. Even now, she can still see that cheeky grin flickering in his expression. And he still looks as handsome as he always did.

And oh god, why is she thinking about this now, of all the times?

“Well, one day I’ll take you to the beach. I’ll buy you some ice cream and we can just relax on the sand. How’s that?”

Bucky laughs, flashing that smile she loves so much. “That sounds perfect. I’ll hold you to that though, alright?”

“I know you will.”

Yet, as they laugh, both of them know that their future is uncertain. He could be locked away in this cell forever, or be put in prison for the rest of his life. Nothing is guaranteed, including the chance to spend time together doing something normal. And that’s all Y/N wants for them both: to finally have a chance for peace.

Until they get that opportunity, Y/N is going to do what she always does. Stay by Bucky’s side.

The rest of her visit passes by without further incident, and Y/N is soon saying goodbye to Bucky once more. Somehow, despite knowing she’ll see him again the next day, saying goodbye gets harder each time.

“Y/L/N.” A voice calls, and Maria Hill walks up to her. Immediately, Y/N feels her stomach dropping. She hasn’t had many interactions with Maria, but she knows she means business. If she wants to speak to her, it can’t mean anything good. “Don’t worry. It’s nothing bad.”

“What is it?”

“You’re visiting Barnes a lot, hm?” she asks, raising a brow. Despite her reassurance that it’s nothing bad, Y/N still feels nervous. She nods, waiting for whatever’s coming next. A part of her expects Maria to tell her that her constant visits are not healthy, and to stop visiting him so much. Bracing herself, she prepares to stand her ground, to tell Maria they’ll have to drag her out of here before she ever leaves Bucky behind. “It seems to have a good impact on him. You’re doing a good job.” She nods.

“Oh. Thanks.” Y/N smiles, breathing a sigh of relief. Yet Maria keeps her brow perfectly raised.

“What did you expect me to say?”

“Nothing.” Y/N lies.

“Well, Nick and I appreciate your work all the same. You really do care about him, don’t you?” Again, Y/N nods. She thought that was obvious by now. Yet, with the way Maria looks at her, grinning slightly, Y/N suddenly realises what she means.

“She’s asking me if I’m in love with him.” Before Y/N can even reply, Maria smirks, disappearing back down the hallway and leaving Y/N in a stunned silence.

And that stunned silence envelops her throughout the rest of the day, including all the way home. It’s only as she works through her new routine:

Lock the door.

Check it’s triple locked.

Check every room, and make sure that nobody is hiding, ready to attack, or that nothing seems out of sorts.

Keep Sam and Steve on speed dial, just in case something happens.

That she finally speaks.

“I’m not in love with Bucky, am I?” she whispers. But as soon as those words leave her mouth, it’s as if everything falls into place.

The looks they shared. The way he smiles and how his eyes sparkle whenever he looks at her. Bucky could be having the worst day ever, but he still looks at her like she hung the moon. The way she smiles whenever she sees him. How quick they both are to defend each other. The fluttering feeling she always seems to have whenever she’s around Bucky returns, this time even stronger, so strong it infiltrates her entire being. Her heart pounds, so quickly that it could break through her rib cage.

And finally, Y/N understands what it means. She is in love with Bucky. And it means the world.

But just as quickly as that realisation comes, so does the worry. What’s going to happen now? What if Bucky goes to jail or worse, and she never sees him again? Her chest twinges and tears spring at her eyes. She can’t tell him the truth. Things are too dangerous, too chaotic right now. Bucky just got his life back, and this would just send everything into a tailspin again. Undo all the good work that’s already been done. And she cares about him too much to do that to him. His healing comes first.

Of course, Bucky soon notices that something is on her mind, and that she doesn’t seem to be herself anymore.

“Is something the matter?” His words cause her to look up from the book she brought. The Hobbit, he thinks she said it was called. It has some recognition in his mind, but nothing substantial. Now and then, small things flash in his mind, little snippets of memories. Parts of a life that he’ll never get back.

And it hurts. He wishes that all these people, all these guards who poke and prod at him, threatening him with further punishment if he dares retaliate or talk back, understand for just one fucking second what it’s like to live his life. To have a smidgen of the hurt and nightmares that he lives with every day. Maybe then they’d stop treating him that way.

But even then… deep down, Bucky knows he doesn’t want anyone to go through what he has. To have so much blood on his hands, to be so sorry for what he’s done, and yet not know how to make amends for it. To have so much of your life ripped away from you and be unable to get it back, to have lost so much because of someone’s agenda. Something that you never asked for or chose, yet they still did to you, anyway.

Although, despite everything that happened to him, he is glad that one good thing came from it. He met Y/N. She’s his constant, his tether to this new, real world. And he cares deeply about her, just as much as she does for him. So much so that he notices that when she’s not okay.

Her brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“You seem off. Like something is troubling you.” When he notices her eyes widening, and panic crossing her expression for a moment, he sighs. She’s helped him through so much, and now it’s his turn to help her. At least, he hopes he can provide her with even one iota of the care she’s given him. “Y/N. If something is wrong, it’s okay to talk about it. I don’t want you suffering in silence.”

She scoots closer, looking up at him. He can see the gears turning in her head, as if she’s wondering whether to tell him.

“Nothing’s wrong.” Bucky considers pressing the issue further, making a hundred percent sure that she’s okay. But before he can, she changes the subject, opening the book again and resuming her storytelling.

Bucky sighs, his heart sinking. They’ve shared so much together, and now he can’t even know this about her, make sure that she’s alright. Of course, he knows he can’t demand to know the truth about everything that’s going on in her life. But he cares so deeply for her, and he wants to protect her from everything in this world, big or small. When he opens his mouth, ready to ask her again, Y/N stops him with a hurried:

“Bucky, please. Not now.” He furrows his brow. Something seems off, something deeper. And he wants to make sure that she’s alright, even as she quickly resumes reading. Yet, he also knows when to drop things, and so he doesn’t ask.

A few weeks later, Y/N comes for another visit. This time she’s brought more photos from Bucky’s past, of him and the Howling Commandos during the war. Perfectly normal, just like she’s done almost every day these past few weeks, and will continue to do for as long as she can. There should be no cause for any concern.

And yet… Bucky feels tense, as if something bad is about to happen. The hairs on the back of his neck soon start standing up, adding to his unease. His senses are telling him to look out for danger, and he can’t find it anywhere. Yet, he spent enough time as a highly trained sniper, using only his senses to get by to know that he shouldn’t just brush them off. If they’re alerting him to something, then he needs to pay attention.

He glances around his cell, still the same way it’s looked ever since they shoved him in here. The same guards he’s seen countless times before are waiting outside, keeping watch. Of course, Bucky didn’t really have the time to exchange pleasantries with them, but he knows that one of them is an older, more seasoned worker. Beside him, the new guard, recruited just before Bucky arrived. He seems pleasant enough, or at least as pleasant that a prison guard in this place could be.

Everything seems fine, seems normal. And yet, Bucky is expecting Armageddon to erupt any moment now.

“Bucky? You okay?” Y/N asks, her brow raised. Of course, she had no need to expect anything bad happening. She just trusts the Avengers and everyone working with them here to keep them safe. As any normal person would.

But Bucky isn’t any normal person. He hasn’t been for a long time.

“Y/N. Go.” He snaps, and her face falls. She interprets Bucky’s sudden coldness as him not wanting to see her anymore. And it feels like her heart is shattering in her chest.

“But we were going to talk about the Howlies again today, remember? Steve got these pictures especially for you.”

“Y/N, please just go.” He still doesn’t know what’s going on, but he’s not letting Y/N sit around like a prime target until they find out.

“Bucky, please just talk to me!” she demands, stepping closer. Even if he doesn’t want her there, she promised she would help him, and she intends to fulfil it. “I don’t want to leave you. I want to help you.”

Before Bucky can respond, an alarm suddenly begins blaring, its noise filling the air. The hairs on Bucky’s arm stand up immediately, and his heartbeat increases.

“What’s going on?” Y/N asks. Honestly, Bucky doesn’t know what the alarm means either. But he knows it can’t be a good sign.

“You need to go. Now.” Bucky insists. Y/N’s eyes widen, and she steps closer, so close she’s almost pressed against the glass of his cell.

“No! I’m not going anywhere, not without you!” At her refusal to leave him behind, something in Bucky’s stomach flutters. He’d follow her to the ends of the earth. And right now, he wishes he could go with her. But he can’t. He’s stuck here. The least he can do, though, is protect Y/N.

“Yes, you are. You have to.”

“I told you, Bucky. We’re in this together, and I’m not leaving you.” The door to the cell opens, and a guard steps inside. It’s the new guard, and Bucky breathes a sigh of relief. He’ll help Y/N out of here, and it’ll all be alright. But something still feels off, still feels dangerous.

“Miss, you need to leave.” The guard orders. Yet, Y/N stays firm, refusing to go.

“Y/N.” Bucky hisses, his voice firmer. “Listen to him. Leave. Now.”

“I advise you listen to him and run… whilst you still can.” He steps closer to the pair, and Y/N warily steps back, her back pressing against Bucky’s cell. For a moment, Bucky tries to reach out to her, to grab her and reassure her she’ll be okay. But he can’t. He’s still locked up like a caged beast. His metal arm tenses, flexing against his restraints, trying to pull himself free. “Why do they make this things so fucking tight?!”

“I’d rather stay with Bucky. Please.” She whispers, fear clear in her voice despite her attempts to hide it. Bucky hates that, hearing her so afraid.

“So be it then.” The guard smirks, stepping closer, so close that he’s almost eye to eye with Bucky. “You’ve made your choices, and now you have to live with them.” And then, Bucky registers an emptiness in the man’s eyes. A look devoid of emotion. And it chills Bucky to the core.

Because he recognises that look.

The guard comes even closer, almost whispering in the pair’s ears now.

“Hail HYDRA.”

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[thestobingirlie]

Do you have any random thoughts or hcs about Steve and his parents? I know that’s vague but if you have just like anything to say about them I’d love to hear it because the little snippets you say about them and the way they’re portrayed in your Saint Stephen fic has entranced me

i think about steve and his parents a lot so sure!!! here’s my (current and subject to change) harrington family backstory (some of these might be repetitions of previous hc posts, but i can’t be arsed to go back searching for them):

i think steve’s dad, richard harrington (hereafter referred to as dick) has a big thing about proving himself. he started working for his dad right out of high school (a real estate company), and he always wanted to prove that he was deserving of it, and live up to the standards his father set for him. he dedicates so much time to the business that it grows from being hawkins based, to indiana based, and so on.

he was a hawkins boy, born and raised, unlike diane, the future mrs harrington. he liked that she was from out of town, made him feel bigger than the small town he grew up in.

they had steve when dick was in his 30s, and diane in her late twenties. diane suffered through the birth, and decided she never wanted another child. she found it hard to connect with steve as a baby, and felt uneasy about her position as a stay at home mother. all of this culminating in the steve falling down the stairs incident, at which point dick gave in and hired a nanny.

steve and diane do still bond though, and when steve’s a toddler he’s become a total mommy’s boy.

dick got rich, had women throwing themselves at him, and cheated on his wife. repeatedly.

now, steve and dick were originally pretty close. dick wasn’t ever really that close to his dad, who suffered a lot with ptsd, and he didn’t want to make that same mistake. but then steve (at around 6 years old) caught him with his affair partner, and told diane.

dick was trying to apologise and make it work, when his parents started getting old and ill. and diane came up with the ultimatum that either they move back to dick’s hometown where she can keep a better eye on him, or they’re done.

he starts to resent pretty much his entire family. steve for catching him and telling diane, his parents for getting sick, and diane for making him move home.

so they move, but that doesn’t end dick’s affairs, and instead causes an even bigger divide in the family. he still has to travel frequently for the company, and diane doesn’t actually want to leave dick or their family, so instead of dealing with it, she lashes out at dick, and emotionally relies, very heavily, on steve. who she calls her best friend and the only person in the world she has left in her corner. it becomes a pretty unhealthy relationship, though neither would recognise that. steve likes helping his mum! he wants to support her and be in her corner, and with his growing resentment towards his father, he feels it’s his duty to stand up for her.

dick never really liked how close steve and diane were, in the typical 80s father fashion of not wanting a sissy for a son, but he especially didn’t like the way diane was turning steve against him. but any attempt to rectify this just sent steve further away. and by the time we see steve in canon, he interprets pretty much anything his dad does in a negative light. deservingly or not.

as a family they have a lot of issues, but they do all love each other, though sometimes they might not feel loved by one another.

and as it stands in the saint stephen universe, the loss of steve really did cause the entire family to just fall apart. they can’t function without him. they hadn’t realised how much their marriage had grown to rely on steve until he was gone. and, for better or worse, it’s caused a lot of realisations about their dynamics (primarily for dick, who’s suddenly aware of just how distant he and steve were, and that, much like his relationship with his dad, he no longer has the opportunity to fix it)

anyway, if you want anything more specific just ask!!! and thank you! i’ve loved using saint stephen to explore diane and dick’s characters, and i’m glad you’ve enjoyed them!

[vyncentevelyn]

I think about how Barb and Robin were both in band. And how Barb would have definitely been friends with Robin. And how they were both lesbians. And how they bonded over sharing their crushes with each other. For Robin, it was Tammy. For Barb, it was Nancy. And like…what if Robin told Nancy that Barb was in love with her…

TW/CW: Light internalized and external homophobia

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Nancy looks back over her shoulder at Steve and Eddie, watches as Eddie leans in and Steve's answering smile at whatever Eddie says. She turns back and looks at the taller girl walking beside her. Robin keeps her eyes on the ground, searching for all the safe places to put her feet - each step hesitating in awkward balance before it touches ground.

"You know," Robin sighs, as if she can feel Nancy's eyes on her, "it doesn't help to have you glaring at me."

"I'm not glaring." Nancy argues.

Robin looks over at her briefly before looking back to her feet, "It feels like a glare."

Nancy chuckles, "It's more of a...a considerate observation."

Robin pauses and looks directly at Nancy. She tries to hide her smile while she repeats, "A considerate observation?"

Nancy continues forward, allows the distance to hide her own smile, "Exactly."

Robin closes the gap so they walk side by side again, "Well, I appreciate your considerate observation to be limited as we navigate Vecna/Henry/One's landmines."

"Yeah, no worries." Nancy looks down at the grey earth and dark vines.

Silence fills the space until Steve's laugh echoes around them. Robin giggles in response as if her and Steve are even connected to each other's joy. Nancy's heart sinks a little.

"You know, I used to be like that with Barb." Nancy says as if she can't keep it in anymore.

"Hmm?" Robin hums as she giggles again with Steve.

"That." Nancy says, keeping her eyes down. "Barb was my best friend and it was like, even if we didn't know what was happening, if one of us was happy the other felt it just as much."

"Nance - " Robin's voice is soft.

"It's really special you have that with him. And Steve, he deserves to have someone who giggles when he laughs, who feels everything for him as if it were happening to them. Steve deserves a best friend, who - "

"Nancy. Steve and I are best friends, nothing more." Robin intterupts.

"I know. I know, you've said that."

"Platonic. Completely platonic, trust me."

"Yeah, but still, it's nice he has someone who he's that close with."

They fall into silence.

But Robin isn't good with silence and suddenly she says, "I was friends with Barb you know."

"You were?" Nancy immediately regrets the statement. The guilt of not knowing Barb had been friends with Robin seeping into her blood, cold and fast. She mutters, "God, I was a shitty friend."

"No, you weren't. Nancy - " Robin cuts herself short.

Nancy looks over at her, "What?"

Robin looks up at the grey sky as it flashes red, "I promised I wouldn't say anything..."

Nancy's chest grows tight. Her mouth is dry.

"...but maybe at this point you should know." Robin looks back down at Nancy, her blue eyes wide and pleading for understanding.

"You...you don't have to tell me..." Nancy finally chokes out.

Robin sighs, "I feel like you need to know. And maybe it's this place. Maybe it's the fact that we could like all die in a matter of seconds or maybe it's because I would want to know if I were you but I'm not you so maybe you don't want to know and it's not like I have any real right to assume your feelings - "

"Robin." Nancy interjects, panic lacing itself into her tone, "Robin, just tell me."

"Ok, but...but you have to promise this won't ruin your idea of Barb." Robin lets out a shaky breath.

Nancy studies her face. The other girl looks scared, more scared then she had just been a moment ago fighting interdimensional bats. She looks terrified.

"I promise," Nancy finally says with a curt nod.

"Ok..." Robin stops and looks at the dirt, toes it a bit with her shoe, "Nancy...Barb didn't think you were a shitty friend. Barb...Barb loved you."

Nancy strains to hear the last part but she catches it and it doesn't make sense...that was what Robin was afraid to say?

"Robin, I know. Barb and I were best friends."

Robin bites her bottom lip and releases it with a sigh, "No, Nancy. Barb loved you."

"I know Rob - "

"No. You don't.” Robin’s voice is sharp, a tone Nancy has never heard from her. She opens her arms wide and drops them, her tone also dropping to something softer, “She was in love with you. She wanted to be the one who held your hand. She wanted to be the one to sneak kisses at your locker. She wanted to be the one whose name you scribbled in your notebook. She wanted to be Steve, Nancy. She was your best friend, but she wanted to be your girlfriend." Robin has tears in her eyes as she looks at Nancy, her words coming out in a rush. "She loved you Nancy."

Nancy's heart cracks, “She…”

“She loved you and I promised I wouldn’t say anything and Barb will probably hate me forever…but I had to tell you. She could never hate you, Nancy, because she loved you.” Robin’s voice wavers like a loose string on a guitar, “You have to forgive yourself, because she already has.”

Nancy blinks and a few tears slip down her cheeks, “I…”

“Nancy if you’re about to say something bad…please don’t…I just know Barb would hate to see you eaten away by misplaced guilt.” Robin mutters, her own tear filled eyes studying the ground.

“I…never knew…I…” Nancy sputters.

“Well you know, she didn’t want to ruin your friendship. It’s not like she could have walked up to you and told you and then both of you act like nothing changed. That just doesn’t happen for u- ” Robin snaps her mouth shut and looks off to the side.

“I…” Nancy starts and then stops unsure of what to say. Her head is a tornado of memories mixed with shock. She can feel her heartbeat in her throat and her stomach flip flop. And all the while she is staring at Robin with pleading eyes.

Robin finally looks up, swipes the back of her hand across her cheeks, “Just tell me you don’t hate her.”

“I could never.” Nancy finally says, but her voice is so soft she wonders if Robin even heard her.

Robin nods her head and starts forward again. Nancy stares at the place she stood. A tiny memory of a feeling bubbles up in Nancy’s chest, and she knows it can never go back under all it had been buried under now.

She follows quietly behind Robin. And allows the snapshots to filter through her.

Snap - Nancy’s crying as her dad throws out her Barbies because he caught Nancy letting them kiss. Girls don’t kiss other girls. It’s wrong. Karen talk some sense into your daughter.

Snap - Nancy’s staring at a make-up advertisement trying to ignore the way the model’s lips and eyelashes make her stomach feel.

Snap - Nancy imagining herself saving the princess in the fairytale books instead of a knight…

Snap - Nancy watching in middle school as Lindsey Bennett had egg salad dumped on her as everyone laughed and pointed. The echoing sound of dyke being chanted all because Lindsey cut her hair.

Snap - Nancy policing herself in the locker room.

Snap - Nancy and Barb giggling and holding hands under the blankets at a sleepover. How all Nancy wanted was for Barb to be her first kiss but then she remembered the Barbies and she jerked her hand away and snapped that it was time to go to sleep.

Nancy swallows.

Snap - The guilt when Barb went missing wasn’t all just guilt, it was heartbreak. And how every night Nancy had to tell herself she was just sad, nothing more.

Snap - Nancy taking down every picture and removing every gift and hiding it all away with Barb’s sweater after the upside down. And Nancy telling her mom to just forget it when she noticed the change in Nancy’s bedroom.

Snap - Nancy letting all of her friendships outside of The Party, especially with women, just disappear…

Snap.

Robin looks back over her shoulder and comes to a stop when she sees Nancy’s face.

“Nance are you ok?”

Nancy looks up and gives a jerky smile, tears fall down her cheeks, “Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine. I just wish she could have told me.”

Robin frowns and reaches out a hand towards Nancy. Nancy takes the offered hand, grateful for the grounding feeling it gives her. They walk on hand-in-hand. Robin gives her a reassuring squeeze every third step which makes Nancy smile. The sky breaks red in a jagged pattern before stitching together in dark grey, and Nancy thinks her heart must look the same way.

[berenwrites]

Stranger Things Fanfiction

So I thought I'd do a master post of all my steddie fanfic so far. It's listed in my pinned post too, but I am shameless 😜.

Chaptered:

Whole New Us: Trauma Bonded & Beyond - Steddie (COMPLETE) - ~57K wds (26 ch) - Teen (with mature options) - (also on AO3) Steve has been ignoring his own problems, he’s been busy. They’ve all been busy, preoccupied with fixing everything that was broken. Vecna has been defeated, but the Upside Down is still there, and the gates are not completely closed even though Hawkins has almost returned to normal. It’s been a couple of months and the aftereffects of Steve’s encounter with the demobats is about to come back to bite him. However, it also brings some unexpected hope.

Beyond the Battle: Action & Consequence - Steddie (COMPLETE) - PG13 - ~108K wds (46 ch) (Also on AO3) Steve hits things with a bat or gets hit depending on who you ask. He definitely does not have anything to do with the psychic stuff. That is El’s domain. However, as Vecna is defeated, the rules change.

Dreams in the Night: But Vampires Aren't an Upside Down Thing - Steddie (COMPLETE) ~18.5K wds (9 ch) - Explicit - (also on AO3) Steve has been having nightmares, seeing through the eyes of a vampire like creature in Hawkins as it hunts. He puts the dreams down to past trauma and too many horror movies at Family video. He’s checked and no one’s been hurt, so even Robin agrees. However, his world is about to be turned upside down yet again as the nightmares become far too real.

Sight: Now I See You - Steddie (COMPLETE) ~26K wds (13 ch) - PG13 The final battle with Vecna was victorious, but not everyone came out unscathed. Steve wakes up in the hospital high as a kite with something wrong with his eyes. Robin’s right there to assure him it’s nothing permanent, but something weird is going on, and he needs answers. That there appear to be two government factions in town, one of which is hunting El even though she saved the world, does not help. Neither does the feeling there’s someone watching him. It’s all a mess and Steve can’t sit back and let the others fix it by themselves.

Wolf in the Light - Steddie (COMPLETE) ~45K wds (23 CH) explicit - only on AO3 Steve has been keeping a big secret: he’s a werewolf from a long line of werewolves. Only problem is, he’s a complete failure at it. He can’t even shift, but it does make him a bit harder to kill, so he thought he’d found his perfect niche keeping the kids and his secret safe after ‘83. With their plan to end Vecna only half successful and Eddie bleeding out, he has no choice but to reveal the truth and try and convince his friends that werewolves are real. That would be enough of a task for anyone, but to his shock, his heritage has an even bigger surprise in store, and of course, there’s Max to worry about too.

Oneshots:

Secret Lover: A Vampire Eddie Short - Steddie - ~1Kwds - Mature - (on AO3 too) Vecna is dead and gone thanks to El and the party. Not all his creations are. Eddie is one of those creations. Everyone thinks he’s dead, but Steve knows better.

In His Kiss: The Trouble With Vampire Tendencies - Steddie - ~2.5K wds - PG13 - (on AO3 too) Steve could feel Eddie’s eyes on him. It was like he could tell, even without looking that Eddie was staring at him. Every time he glanced over, Eddie looked away, but half a second too late. It was beginning to drive Steve crazy.

So Sweet: Hard to Begrudge Love - Steddie - ~400 wds - G - (on AO3 too) Tooth rotting Steddie fluff from Robin’s point of view.

Connections: Voice from the Other World - Steddie - ~2K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) Steve hears Eddie voice in his head. At first he thinks it’s guilt, but that soon changes. Now all he needs to figure out is if it’s one of Vecna’s games or something else.

So Sorry: Through No Fault of His Own - Steddie - ~1.8K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) Bad things have happened to Steve, but Eddie is there to help – only it’s not that simple.

Freaks: What the World Sees - Steddie - ~1K wds - PG - (on AO3 too) The world knows a lot about famous guitarist and singer Eddie Munson, including things about his husband, but there is so much they don’t see as well.

Summertime Love - Steddie - PG - 311wds Written for steddiemicrofic prompt: CAKE | 311 words | rated: PG | cw: none

For Love - Steddie - PG - 548wds Written for steddiemicrofic prompt: CHARM | 548 words | rated: PG | cw: none

Guardian at the Gate - Steddie - PG - 387wds (on AO3 too) SteddieMicroFic November '23 - prompt: REST | 387 words | rated: PG Wayne rushes to the hospital when he gets news of Eddie. He does not expect what he finds.

Magnificent - Steddie - G - 508wds (on AO3 too) Written for prompt: PINE | wc: 508 | G | cw: none Steve has never ever wanted to see Eddie in a coffin, but this one looks absolutely perfect...

Reborn: Facing the Unexpected - Steddie - PG - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for steddiemicrofic January prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 The final confrontation with Vecna has come and gone, they won, but Steve can only focus on one thing...

Wake-up Call: An End or a Beginning? - Steddie - PG - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for January 2024 prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 When you're dead, you're not supposed to wake up.

Strange Relationship: Of Sex and Revelations - Steddie - Explicit - 404wds (on AO3 too) Written for January 2024 prompt: HOLE | wc: 404 Steve is good at sex, but there are some things he hasn't been considering. Eddie is very happy to open his eyes.

Caring: Now It's Your Turn - Steddie - G - 593wds (also on AO3) Written for @steddielovemonth 2024 day 1 Steve has been looking after everyone, now it's his turn.

Still Oneshots - New list because Tumblr complained ;)

Revelation: A Heart-Stopping Reality - Steddie - G - 1396wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 3 Steve is just sitting by the pool watching his friends have fun when he comes to a stunning conclusion.

A Small Thing: The Truth Hurts - Steddie - T - 956wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 4. Eddie wants to know everything about Steve, and Steve has a confession to make.

Falling: Who Will Catch Me? - Steddie - PG - 509wds (also on AO3) Written for Feb prompt: EDGE | wc: 509 | PG | cw: PTSD, mentions of torture It's all over and Steve has nothing left to keep the horror at bay.

See Me: In the Silence - Steddie - G - 309wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 5 Steve always see what Eddie needs.

Quiet: But Far From Idle - Steddie - G - 627wds (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 6. Eddie loves when both he and Steve are in the zone.

Arms of Love: Whatever You Need - Steddie - G - 678wds (also on AO3) Written for @steddielovemonth day 8. It's July, Steve is having trouble sleeping, Eddie helps.

Closure: Rifts & Reactions - Steddie - G - 836wds - (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 12 The final battle is over, it's time to look forward.

Late Again?: Love Is Too Compelling! - Steddie - PG - 980wds - (also on AO3 soon) Written for steddielovemonth day 14. Eddie doesn't want Steve to go to work, so is trying to convince him to quit.

Always and Forever: Love Finds a Way - Steddie - G - 1237wds - (also on AO3) Written for steddielovemonth day 29. After their usual phone call while Eddie is on tour with Corroded Coffin, Steve is worried.

Best Present Ever - Steddie - G - 290wds Vecna was dead. Hawkins was no longer split open. It was time to celebrate.

Still Oneshots - New list because Tumblr complained again ;)

Half a Dream - Steddie - G - 510 wds (also on AO3) It took Eddie until he reached the top to realise he’d been chasing only half a dream the entire time.

The Giveaway - Steddie - G - 483 wds (also on AO3) It's not anything they would have guessed that give Steve and Eddie away to their friends and family.

With Both Hands - Steddie - PG - 838 wds (also on AO3) Eddie is having trouble figuring out how he got here and believing it's real.

A Simple Question - Steddie - PG-13 - 1155 wds (also on AO3) Eddie is a little tipsy, and he has a question for Nancy.

Through Your Eyes - Steddie - PG-13 - 943 wds (also on AO3) Steve wakes up and something is definitely not right.

Suddenly There Came a Tapping - Steddie - PG - 350wds (also on AO3) Eddie has a visitor with a message.

Like Magic - Steddie - PG - 350wds (also on AO3) Something weird is going on with Steve.

Vocation - Steddie - G 532wds (Also on AO3) Eddie is Steve's vocation in life.

[fuctacles]

Platonic with a capital "P" - part 2

part 1 | read on Ao3

“Robin? How comfortable are you with nudity?”

“Very uncomfortable,” she responded just like he expected, without missing a beat.

“Okay, okay.” Steve walked around the room, the phone pressed to his ear. He inhaled and exhaled loudly. “I think I have a second mark, so maybe you have one too,” he blurted out quickly.

The line became silent for a suffocating couple of seconds.

“...what?”

“If I have a second mark, then there’s a real possibility you do too.”

“Okay, hold on.”

Steve couldn’t hold on, he was almost walking on the walls. He was soul bonded to Eddie fucking Munson. He wanted to scream.

“What does that have to do with nudity?”

“I wanna help you look.”

“Excuse me?!” Robin shrieked, forcing him to pull the phone away from his ear.

“Stop fucking screaming, you’re basically my sister. What if it’s like, on your back?”

“Steve-”

“Robin.”

There was a tense silence over the line, and Steve was walking a hole into his rug.

“Fine,” his friend sighed eventually. “You can look at my back, you weirdo.”

“Okay, I’ll pick you up in ten.”

“What-?!”

He hung up before he could hear the rest of her protests. He needed her, his platonic soulmate, right now.

Robin seemed annoyed with him when she slipped into the passenger seat. But he was used to that, it was almost her default state at this point.

“So how did you find out?”

Steve left her driveway and made a turn. Then another. He bit down on his lip and the silence kept stretching.

“Steve-”

“Eddie showed me his.”

Robin frowned at first, but as she eyed the tense line of his lips, the implication of his words sunk in. She started vibrating out of her seat.

“No.”

“Yes. They match. I’m like 99% sure.”

“No!” If he wasn’t driving, she probably would be shaking him like a rag doll right now.

“Yes! I know!”

“Holy fuck.”

“Holy fuck,” he agreed.

Moments later, they entered his house and Robin’s fingernails were digging into his hand, shaking it with the excitement she couldn’t contain.

“It’s like, five moles, here on his nape,” he motioned at the spot. “And I have a lot of moles, right? So I never think about them much. But there are a few of them on my thigh, they’re weirdly symmetrical. And I connected them. And they made a pentagram. And Eddie’s made a pentagram too.”

“I wanna see.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to undress?” he quirked his eyebrow.

“I still don’t, but I’m too fucking curious at his point,” she rolled her eyes as if he was the one being ridiculous right now. Honestly, their whole situation was. Steve thought it suited them, in a way.

They grabbed a couple of beers and ran up the stairs to his room. She motioned him to go on, and he slid down his pants without much thought, showing off his thigh.

“Ok, wow, this is- I would never think that’s a soul mark.” Her eyes widened as she leaned in.

“Right?!”

“You have so many of them already.”

“I know!” He pulled up his jeans and popped open his beer. Robin sat down on his bed, but he couldn’t settle. His adrenaline was still buzzing from the revelation.

“How do you feel about that?” Robin frowned at him, scrunching her nose.

“Honestly, I feel…” he stopped to find the words, looking out the window, at the setting sun. “Light-headed a bit. I have another soulmate.”

“And it’s Eddie.”

Steve glanced at her, blinking like it had just now dawned on him.

“It’s Eddie.”

“How do you feel about that?”

Steve deflated. He looked at his soulmate’s big, sympathetic eyes and sat down next to her.

“I think I’m okay with that,” a smile tugged at his lips as he said it. “Very okay with that.”

Which brought another unfortunate thought into his brain. He groaned, slumping against his best friend.

“How do I tell him I’m his soulmate now?”

B Side: Romantic

Because, about a month ago, Eddie had confessed.

“Hey, so,” he started one night after they had dropped kids from Hellfire. “We almost died, several times.” 

“We did, yeah,” Steve mused, leading his Beamer down the road to the trailer park. They were alone in the car by then. He picked up Eddie along with Max, but she decided to have a sleepover with El.

“Shit kinda reminds you to live life to the fullest. Be yourself and all that jazz.”

“You wanna go bungee jumping or something?” Steve quirked his eyebrow, pulling into the space in front of Eddie’s trailer.

Eddie snorted. 

“Nah, dude, I have enough near-death experiences for a lifetime.” He shook his head. “No, it’s kinda more complicated.”

“Okay? Well, we’re gonna support you, whatever insane ideas are going in that metalhead of yours,” he reassured lightly but surely. Not like Dustin didn’t have a new ridiculous plan of his own every week. Their little apocalypse group was just a bit unhinged like that.

Eddie smiled at his words, but then slumped in the car seat, drumming on his thighs nervously.

“I like you,” he said softly, looking away.

Steve turned towards him, confused.

“Okay... I like you too.”

But Eddie was shaking his head, his hair following the motion and shielding his face.

“No, dude,” he sighed. “I’m bisexual. I mean it in a… crush kinda way.”

“Oh.” 

Steve’s eyes widened in surprise, but Eddie had turned to an anxious mop of dark hair by that point. His grip on the steering wheel tightened, and he didn’t know what to say. Is this how Robin felt when he confessed?

“Yeah, so like, I don’t expect anything? Honestly, not getting beaten up is enough for me,” Eddie laughed dryly and Steve winced. “I just want you to know because I don’t wanna hide and lie anymore. I’ll get over it eventually, and I hope we can still be friends.”

There was a hopeful question there, though Eddie still wasn’t looking at him.

“Dude, it’s fine,” he assured, even though it didn’t feel completely fine. “I’m still friends with Nancy,” he reminded, hoping Eddie won’t remind him about the complexities of that relationship. “We’re gonna be okay,” he finished like it was an obvious fact, one of the unbreakable rules of nature. He hoped it was.

“Okay, yeah.” Eddie managed a thin smile and finally, finally, looked at him. “Thanks, dude,” he said, pulling on the door handle. With his confession out, he was vibrating out of his seat, eager to leave.

“Hey, Eddie!” Steve stopped him before he could slam the door and leave Steve alone with his thoughts.

“Yeah?” Eddie leaned back in, visibly nervous. He was biting his lip and his eyes kept darting towards his trailer. Like he was measuring the distance between, and the time it would take to cross it.

“I’m flattered, by the way,” Steve grinned.

Eddie rolled his eyes, but his body sagged with relief.

“Maybe you are the one who should get his ego in check,” he raised his eyebrow, joking back. Everything was okay.

“Who do you think Dustin got it from?” Steve’s grin turned into a cocky smirk.

Eddie shook his head and slammed the door shut and stepped away, the familiar buzzing energy back in his step. Steve chuckled to himself as his friend waved goodbye, disappearing quickly in his trailer.

*

“Listen, I know that you care about me, but your romanticism sometimes freaks me the fuck out. Like, the lengths you can go to,” Robin whined while tying her hair up as per her friend’s request. 

They had just finished a way-too-long debate about the possibility of soul marks hiding on someone’s scalp. It ended with Robin stating loudly she was not shaving for no soulmate. 

“Suck it up, Buckley. Like you’re not curious yourself.”

She was. It was the only reason she was humouring him. Maybe there was another mark she should have been hiding all along.

They agreed to do it gradually. Only taking off as many layers as was necessary. So at first Steve closely scrutinized her nape and her arms, inch by inch, while she drank her beer to dampen the embarrassment of the bizarre situation.

“Nothing suspicious,” he decided after checking behind her ears. “So, um…”

Robin let out a long sigh, putting into it all the annoyance and anxiety she felt.

“I’m gonna take off my socks and roll up my pants,” she offered.

Steve nodded eagerly, making her roll her eyes, her lip twitching. He reminded her of a little puppy whenever he acted like that. 

She finished off the beer, crumpling the can and throwing it into the trashcan before pulling her foot up, taking off the sock and exposing her calf as far as the jeans would allow. Then she threw her leg into her friend's lap while she worked on the other.

“If you tickle me, I am breaking your nose,” she warned, pressing her heel into the meat of his thigh in a silent threat.

“Noted,” he nodded, already inspecting her ankle with a delicate touch. She threw the other leg over his thigh and slumped back, resting on her arms and watching.

It felt weird to be touched like that, where nobody ever touched her before. What a travesty it was her best friend and platonic soulmate and not a cute girl. At least it wasn’t just some guy, and she wasn’t being forced into an unpleasant situation.

A sudden loud intake of breath startled her from her thoughts. Steve’s thumb pressed softly into the sole of her left foot, and she instinctively jerked it away, eyes narrowing.

“What did I say about tickling,” she hissed, but his hands were grabbing her foot back and pulling it closer to him, eyes wide like saucers.

“Robin.” Her name was like a reprimand, a call and a prayer all stirred into one sound. She frowned, now concerned and curious. They were looking for a soul mark, after all. “What is this?” His thumb brushed against the spot again, and she wrenched it from his hands to look for herself.

She frowned at the pale mark on her foot.

“It’s just a scar. I stepped on a clam when I was little.”

Steve sat up on his knees, excitement sparkling in his eyes. 

“It looks like a moon.”

Steve was pulling at straws, and it was starting to annoy her.

“It’s a coincidence. It’s just a scar,” she tried to wave him off.

“Do you remember getting it?” he pressed on, not letting her dismiss the idea.

“Of course,” she scoffed, but under his hard gaze, she huffed and looked away. “I think,” she admitted with a frown.

“You think?”

“It’s what my mom has been telling me. I was too young to remember.”

“What did she tell you?”

Robin scrunched her eyebrows, searching for a long-forgotten tale from her childhood.

“She said it was the during the summer we spent at my aunt’s place,” she recollected. “That I got it from walking barefoot in the river all the time.”

“So she doesn’t have a concrete incident in mind?”

“Guess not.”

They stared at each other for a long time. To Robin’s horror, a wide smile crept on Steve’s face. She scowled.

“Stop that. At least I won’t have to-”

“I’ve seen it before.”

Robin closed her eyes. There was an unpleasant pressure building in her temples as she fought against the hope Steve was trying to instill in her.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I’ve seen girls naked, I’ve seen a lot of soul marks.”

“To the point, Casanova,” Robin growled, opening her eyes only to glare at him, but his smile was unwavering.

“One of them had a little moon near her armpit.”

“Since when do you like suspense so much? Am I getting a name or what?” The rollercoaster of emotions and Steve’s giddiness were getting to her, and she could feel her anger spiking.

“I’m not sure if you’re ready for her.”

“You know what, I’m not sure if you even remember her name, and now you just don’t wanna admit it.”

“Well, maybe I’m not gonna tell you, if you’re gonna treat me like a slut,” he scoffed, albeit playfully.

“Steve-”

“It’s Nancy. Nancy Wheeler has a moon-shaped soul mark.”

*

“I’m gonna puke.”

“Is this how coming out feels like? I hate this.”

Robin and Steve had been spiralling for the whole week, brainstorming how they should come out to their soulmates. It was Friday afternoon, and they just hung up from confirming the hour of their double date at the local diner. The problem was, the other two didn’t know it was a date. To them, it was just a casual hang-out between the older Upside Down survivors.

“Pretty much,” Robin nodded awkwardly with her head on a pillow next to Steve. They were laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling. 

“Maybe we should invite them over? This isn’t-”

“We’ve been through this,” Robin cut him off wearily. She wasn’t even annoyed by this point because they had gone through it a million times, and both of them were okay with repeating it however many more times needed to calm their nerves. “We start it in a public location to hang out and chill. Then we move somewhere more private to talk. Nowhere Upside-Down related, and not inside, so we don’t feel cooped up, and we’re on common turf,” she recited what they’d agreed on. 

“I know.” 

They sighed in unison.

“What are you gonna order?” Robin decided to find something harmless to discuss, to take their minds off worrying.

“A chocolate milkshake,” Steve answered without a thought, because what was the point of going to a diner and not getting a milkshake? Robin agreed with him. “And some fries, maybe nachos. If I get anything more than that, I might puke. Wouldn’t be very seductive of me.”

Robin snorted at that. That was another one of the bullet points in their debates. Since Steve knew about Eddie’s crush on him, he was going to shoot his shot. He’s been subconsciously seducing him for the past month already anyway.

Robin’s objective was to come out and not lose a friend. She didn’t let herself be hopeful, even if Steve and his belief in soul marks were trying to fight her on that.

“You?” he threw the question back at her.

“Man, I don’t know if I can even handle the milkshake. Maybe I’ll just get water.”

“Dude.”

“Sparkling? With lime?”

“We could share the milkshake. And fries too,” Steve offered. It’s been like that for the past few days - finding solutions and stopping each other from spiralling.

“That wouldn’t be very double-datey, you know?”

“So?” Steve shrugged, turning his head towards her. Feeling the shift of his pillow, she turned as well. “We’re soulmates, we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

She nodded slowly, considering his offer.

“Sure, I guess. I don’t want chocolate, though.”

“Strawberry?”

“Strawberry,” she agreed.

They looked back at the ceiling before asking each other what they were gonna wear and reciting to each other their painstakingly picked outfits. The clothes had already been laid out, waiting on the back of Steve’s chair.

The sun was still setting when they went about their evening routines and forced themselves into an uneasy sleep.

*

At the diner, everything was going smoothly for a while. Except Robin was sickly pale like she was going to run into the bathroom and make good on her vomit threat at any second. She hadn’t even eaten breakfast.

“You still want that milkshake?” Steve leaned closer to her, eyeing her with worry. She nodded stiffly.

Nancy was sitting across from her, her eyebrows scrunched in concern as well. She hesitantly reached across the table to get Robin’s attention.

“Do you want some candy? Or chewing gum?” she offered. Robin looked up at her and after a moment of hesitation nodded feverishly.

“Yeah,” she croaked, and it was the only thing she managed out so far other than a greeting.

Nancy reached into her purse and held out a bag of lemon candy and a small pack of mint gum, raising an eyebrow. Robin pointed at the candy, so Nancy popped the bag open and held it out to her to grab one. 

“Thanks,” she mumbled around the candy, sucking on it greedily. Steve squeezed her knee under the table.

“No problem.” Nancy smiled reassuringly. 

Eddie simply watched them in silence, an uncommon occurrence for him that stirred Steve’s insides with worry.

When their waitress arrived, Nancy and Eddie ordered normal meals, while Steve got the agreed-on fries and milkshake. Robin got enough grip on her vocal cords to ask for a glass of water.

Eddie raised an eyebrow when he heard Steve’s order.

“Not chocolate?” he asked. 

It was an innocent question, and it wasn’t hard to notice Steve liked chocolate stuff and always ordered them when given the choice. It still made his skin warm to know Eddie remembered. He shrugged, pretending not to be affected by the attention.

“Robin said she wanted to share.”

“Chocolate’s too sweet,” she stuck out her tongue to make a point at which the tension finally loosened, breaking out an argument about milkshake flavors instead. Eddie sided with Steve, at which she commented boys were just children with a sweet tooth, but everyone agreed to boo Nancy when she said she liked vanilla.

“There’s not even real vanilla in there, it’s just like, sweet cream,” Robin scrunched her nose.

Nancy only shrugged.

“It goes nice with a shot of espresso or two,” she defended, at which everyone perked up in interest.

When their orders arrived, Nancy ordered an espresso because now everyone wanted to try her concoction, and Eddie slid his milkshake towards Steve.

“Have some,” he offered, almost shyly. “Wouldn’t want your sugar levels to drop.”

Steve grinned at him, seeing his opportunity.

“You saying I’m not sweet enough for you?” he raised an eyebrow, his tongue flicking against the straw before he wrapped his lips around it, knowing full well Eddie was about to use it.

The boy’s eyes widened, but he quickly composed himself.

“Just hoping everyone else faints from the amount of sugar.”

And I get you all to myself, went unspoken.

Steve snickered, passing the milkshake back to him. Eddie eyed the straw, his cheeks reddening, before he took it into his mouth. As Steve watched him, he felt Robin kick him under the table. He kicked back.

Nancy sipped some of her plain, boring milkshake to make room for the espresso when it arrived. She poured it in and used the straw to mix it before pushing it towards Robin, who took a cautious sip.

“Holy shit,” she said, eyes widening in surprise. “This is actually good,” she admitted, pushing the glass back. “They could make this a regular.”

Nancy smiled happily at the approval. She pushed it towards Eddie next but held her glass before he could reach for it.

“Use your own straw. I don’t want your nicotine breath on it,” she said, scrunching her nose.

Eddie shrugged, unfazed, and reached for the straw poking from his shake.

“Fair enough,” he agreed. He took a sip and smacked his lips loudly, humming. “Good. But I’d add even more coffee,” he made his verdict. 

Before he could pull out his straw, Steve reached for the coffee shake and used it for himself.

He hummed in approval, eyeing Eddie’s reddening cheeks.

“I’d add some chocolate, and it would be perfect,” he decided, pushing it back to Eddie, who finally pulled out his straw to dump it back into his shake.

“What if you just added espresso into the chocolate shake?” wondered Eddie, making Steve gasp.

“Genius!”

They talked about possible flavor combinations for far longer than appropriate, their fries diminishing in size visibly.

“So uh,” Nancy dipped a fry into the puddle of ketchup, not looking up from it. “You guys wanted to talk about something?”

Eddie straightened up next to her, eyeing them.

“Yeah,” Robin winced. “But not here,” she took an involuntary look around, at the other patrons. 

Nancy nodded, her forehead wrinkling slightly with worry.

“It’s just a short drive to the park if you guys don’t mind,” Steve spoke up, offering a location they’d discussed with Robin beforehand. 

The other two looked at each other shortly before nodding in agreement. 

The tense atmosphere from the beginning came back tenfold from then on. The conversation attempts didn’t lead anywhere, as Steve and Nancy seemed to be the only ones trying to force something out. Their friends seemed lost in their thoughts, only grunting half-assed responses.

They finished their food quickly and split the bill evenly in four, with Steve paying for himself and Robin. Eddie stood up from the booth like it burned him and stepped out first to have a smoke before they take off. Robin excused herself to the bathroom, and Steve and Nancy stacked up their plates for an easy pickup. 

They were loading into Steve’s Beamer before any of them were ready for what was to come. Nobody fought for shotgun. Robin was green in the face again and gravitated to the back seat, so Eddie sat down in the front instead. And nobody said a word when he chose the radio station and turned up the volume. Whatever niche genre he chose seemed to be better than any attempts at conversation.

The sun was still up, the heat of midday was slowly dying down, and the park was mostly visited by young parents with strollers and dog owners. The picnic tables were mostly empty, and the four settled around one of them, the nervous energy radiating off them keeping any intrusive ears at bay.

“What is it?” Nancy was the first one to break the uncomfortable tension, her eyes darting between Steve and Robin. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s not as bad as you guys make it seem.” She frowned, her mind already running through the worst-case scenarios, which were pretty imaginative considering their history with an alternate dimension. So she dampened her predictions to more down-to-earth ones.

“Are you guys dating?”

Steve winced and Robin let out a strangled snort, though it didn’t make her face any less pale.

Eddie frowned at the both of them, the concern on his face visibly growing.

“Are you pregnant?”

“What the fuck, Eddie?!” Steve’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets while the guy innocently raised his hands.

“Hey, I’m just-”

Robin shot up and ran away, hand over her mouth. All of them rose in alarm, but she simply disappeared behind a nearby bush, retching into the nearest trash can. 

Eddie and Nancy exchanged a confused and concerned look, while Steve seemed to be on the verge of tears. He rubbed at his eyes, exhaling loudly. He low-key expected his best friend to abandon him, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with on his own.

“We’re not dating, and Robin is not pregnant,” he stated simply, levelling both of his friends with a hard look. “But,” he raised a finger. “We are soulmates. But!” he cut in quickly before anyone could interrupt. “Each of us has another one. And it’s you guys.”

The table was silent for a long bit before Nancy waved her hands.

“But we checked our marks. They are different,” she protested.

Steve was shaking his head ready to correct her, when Robin reached the table, now steadier on her legs and ready for action.

“No, you’re my soulmate. Eddie is Steve’s,” she clarified.

The looks she got were straight from a bad soap opera. Steve kept eyeing Eddie, the way his expressive face went from delight to disbelief to hope to wariness. He reached out his hand, and the metalhead watched it hesitantly before reaching back to squeeze his fingers. 

“You’ve all seen my mark,” he lifted the sleeve of his shirt with his free hand.

Robin recognized her clue and lifted her shirt to uncover hers, matching her best friend’s.

“And this is mine.”

Their friends, soulmates, watched in stunned silence,

“But I also have a moon-shaped mark on my foot,” she admitted, eyes fixed on the graffiti littering the table.

“And the moles on my thigh make a pentagram.”

The hand holding Steve’s palm tightened, nearly to the point of pain.

“For real?” Eddie asked breathily, his eyes huge like saucers. Steve nodded. 

“When you showed me yours, I had a weird feeling I've seen it before. I went home and found a similar cluster on my thigh, tried connecting them and…” he trailed off, shrugging.

Eddie licked his suddenly dry lip, looking at their joined hands. 

“Do you- How do you feel about it?”

Steve slumped forward, elbows relaxing against the wooden table top. He’s been through this. With himself, with Robin.

“I’ve been bonded to a lesbian and a bisexual guy. I know where I have better chances.”

Eddie let out an amused breath against himself.

“But, Steve-”

“I know, but… Whoever bonded me to you must know me better than myself. Because this doesn’t feel wrong. I like the idea of being bonded to you. I feel kind of relieved if it makes sense?” he finished hesitantly.

Eddie shook his head, but a smile tugged on his lips.

“It doesn’t, to be completely honest, but if you’re okay with it, who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?” He smiled before cocking his head playfully. “So what? When I say I like you, it’s not enough, but when the universe tells you I'm okay, you’re on board?”

Steve tightened his grip on Eddie.

“You’re so enough, Eddie, but I didn’t want to strip you of a potential soulmate who has a better grip on his sexuality, likes the same nerd stuff, I don’t know.” He huffed, frustrated. “I felt like I would be imposing. But since we are actually bonded, I felt like maybe I could be enough for you. If you’ll have me,” he added shyly, uncertain. There were people distrustful of soul marks to the point where they’d reject their soulmates. 

Eddie raised his eyebrows.

“You’re okay with being bonded to a guy, but you wouldn't be okay with dating me, knowing somewhere out there was someone better for me?”

Steve frowned. Was that a wrong way of thinking?

“Kind of?” he offered, unsure. But Eddie was still holding his hand. “I didn’t want to lead you on while I wasn’t sure if I was into guys, but since someone up there thinks I am, then I guess it’s okay?” He shook his head, correcting himself immediately. “It is okay.”

Eddie burst out laughing. Steve instinctively tightened his grip on his hand, but Eddie wasn’t pulling away.

“You’re a dumbass, Harrington,” he summed up and, to Steve’s delight, leaned in and pulled up their joined hands to lay a kiss on his knuckles. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

As the pleasant silence stretched, they became aware of two heavy pairs of eyes on them.

Nancy looked at them with exasperation and relief. Steve wondered if it was the same relief he felt, looking at her now. Like the last particles of their old relationship just evaporated into nothingness.

Robin’s gaze held a heavy wistfulness, almost making Steve feel guilty about finding a soulmate other than her.

It seemed like looking at their friends was easier for them than looking at each other.

"Ugh, you're gonna be insufferable together," Robin groaned wetly, her eyes on the verge of spilling over.

"Yeah. I'm so happy for you,' agreed Nancy with a small smile. Her eyes were trained on Steve, and he reciprocated the gesture, an unspoken understanding passing between them. The relief of finding someone else, the reassurance that their hearts were now safe in different hands, that they could just breathe and be friends.

With that out of the way and Eddie's hand in his, Steve needed to check on his first soulmate. His side pressed into Robin, eyes searching. She wouldn't meet his gaze, her eyes trained on the boys’ tangled palms, tears still threatening to spill over. He tried reaching out, his free hand gently squeezing her elbow. This seemed to bring oxygen back to her lungs as she breathed in and looked up for a fleeting second at her friend, before turning to Nancy.

"Uh,” she winced, looking elsewhere immediately. “It's okay if you don't feel comfortable with it. It's not like you have to do anything about having a soulmate, there is no pressure, no obligation-"

"Robin." Nancy knew already that the fastest way to stop Robin's spiral was to interrupt it. "Do you want to go on a date with me?"

Robin gaped at her.

"Really?"

Nancy shrugged, a shy smile on her lips.

"I've never considered dating a woman before, but I'm not against the idea," she explained. "Besides, Steve got on point soulmates, why wouldn't we work out too? I'd like to give it a shot."

Robin bit her lip, her whole body buzzing in place.

"People aren't gonna like it."

Nancy snorted, her cute face twisting with distaste.

"Honestly, I'm used to it by this point. And it's not gonna be as bad in a bigger city."

Robin gawked at her, eyes huge, like two ponds pulled in by the moon. The implication of Nancy's statement was stuck in her throat.

She seemed to realize it too but only shrugged bashfully.

"I'm aiming high, I'm not gonna stay in this shithole forever."

Watching his best friend freeze up, Steve swooped in, his arm gathering her closer to his side.

"Calm down, Casanova, go on a date first, okay? Step by step," he reminded her quietly with a shit-eating grin. 

She pushed him away, cheeks pink. But he was right. Why worry about the future when there was still a first date to plan?

"Okay, so," she gulped. "Where do you wanna go?"

[backjustforberena]

Question: Laena as daddy’s girl and laenor as Mummy’s boy. Do you think they had this family structure? Why/why not?

Scenarios: Rhaenys teaching them how to fly like a badass. Eg. the importance of a strong bond, modifications to the saddle, not flying too high.

Swimming with them as young children in the bay on a hot day.

THIS GOT LONG, I'M SORRY.

META: Oh, boy, thank you for sending this in! And the answer to the first one, about dynamics is: certainly yes. Although, ironically and perhaps obviously given the world they inhabit, they spend more time with the other parent. Laenor spends years with his father in the Stepstones and on the flip side, Laena has a lot of time alone with her mother whilst the men are away.

I remember listening to interviews where Eve would say that Corlys was harder on Laenor than Rhaenys perhaps was, and Steve called Laena "the apple of his eye", and how family and legacy were everything to these two.

Rhaenys's connection to her children is a lot more emotional and typically maternal: it's worrying over their happiness, it's making sure that parameters will be in place if Laena weds Viserys (i.e what Laena says about being bedded), it's wishing Laena home from Pentos, watching her son dance at his betrothal with a smile on her face, hugging him before giving him away, having her heart torn by their misery.

Corlys's relationship is more typically masculine. He wants to provide for them; safety and security and power. Making them good marriages, wanting them to conform to society's expectations because that is what will get them ahead, that will be less painful. He wants his children to be the best of the best. He's got high standards, but never anything that suggests it's crushing or detrimental.

Laena, in particular, sounds a lot like her father when she grows up - talking about Valyrian blood and being more than the existence Daemon binds her to in Pentos. She wants to go home and give birth and have her children raised as Velaryon children are raised. She yearns for her family. She still sent letters to her mother, after all. Letters where she hid nothing - how else did Rhaenys know Laena wanted to return home? But Laena is also a dragon-rider, like her mother. Claimed a dragon, like her mother. Married a man for love, like her mother. Yet she travelled like her father did, and wore her father's house colours after marriage, (except when riding - like her mother).

Laenor is everything a lord would wish for in a son. Most characters note on his goodness. How he is a fine knight. He's battle-tested, with a strong bond with his dragon. He's kind and loves war as his father does. He yearns for the sea and for battle, like his father. He's got armour, like his father, participates in the strategy of the Stepstones and is trusted enough that Corlys goes with his plan. Between young and teen Laenor, he even starts doing his locs like his father. His saddle has a seahorse on it. Yet he's incredibly sensitive, and loves with his whole heart. When his loved one is murdered, he screams - like his mother. When his sister is dead, he dies a little bit with her. He chafes at court because it hurts him, like Rhaenys does. And he goes through great tragedy that was not of his own making.

But as much as I think the parents have "favourites", you don't get the feeling that it's overtly biased, in the way they parent or the way they relate to one another - they don't favour one child over the other. Although, we have very little to base that conclusion on, given that horrifically, we have very few scenes of them as a family unit and they barely speak a word to one another. Except, perhaps in deleted scenes. Overall, to me, the Velaryons came across as a very harmonious family. Neither parent is distant - they're both involved in the decisions that surround their children and always think (albeit perhaps not enough or even correctly) about their well-being and their futures. To the point that it's really the only thing that severs their marriage. Both of the siblings, after marriage, look back to their parents and to things that signify their house - there's no resentment from Laenor for making him marry Rhaenyra. There's no distance created from Laena, knowing they had proposed her match to Viserys. No effect at all. They take comfort in one another. They can't have a family outing without matching either.

SCENARIOS: Rhaenys teaching them how to fly would be amazing. Even in the one scene we have of Laenor and Rhaenys flying together, Meleys gives out instructions to Seasmoke and takes the lead over the fleet. It's very cute. And I can imagine Driftmark has it's own dragonkeepers, but Rhaenys would still take a proactive role in this. I can only imagine how empty the skies felt when her children had flown the nest. And I imagine this sort of lesson is something she now recreates with Baela.

And those kids must swim like fishes. Wild swimming as well. I bet Laenor would do a cannonball and Laena learnt to do an impressively graceful dive into the water.

[schrijverr]

I Found Myself a Cheerleader 8

Chapter 8 out of 28

Bumped to the lowest step on the social ladder after his fight with Billy, Steve gets roped in with the cheer team. What starts as a favor to help them out when one member breaks her leg in turn for protection from the brunt of the bullying, sets the universe on a different path.

In this chapter, Steve gets used to working at Scoops Ahoy and time passes by until Dustin returns back to town, pulling Steve back into the bullshit that hides in Hawkins. When he and Robin get taken by Russians, their tentative friendship turns into a bond that will never be broken.

On AO3.

Ships: eventual steddie & buckingham

Warnings: period typical homophobia, torture, f-slur, child abuse mention, internalized homophobia mention

~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 8: The Mall

June is steadily passing. Steve is still working with Robin, whom he’s cautiously friends with now. She still sometimes looks at him like she expects him to punch her or like he’s going to explode, but that’s rarely.

Chrissy comes by often too and Robin is starting to be normal around her too. Less anxious rambling and more laughing about stupid shit.

Things with Chrissy have been a bit odd. They’re still friends and she hangs around Scoops Ahoy more often than not, but Steve has to deflect to stop her from finding out he’s still staying at the Byers house.

Still, he maintains that their camping sleep over they had at the lakes was great. They even got to stunt without a back spotter, because they were doing it in the water.

However, Chrissy has been send off to bible camp for a few weeks, which has given Steve a reprieve from keeping up the lie. Hopefully when she gets back Steve will have his own place and he can play it off. If Steve had known then what would happen between now and her getting back, he might not have thought that, but still.

Will has also warmed back up to him, which he is more grateful for than he wants to admit. There is less connection between them than there had been in his kitchen that morning when he came by with Dustin, but still. He’s no longer overtly hurt by Steve not admitting he’s gay.

The kids are annoying him quite regularly at work ever since Will figured out over dinner that Steve can sneak them into the movies with his job. Steve doesn’t mind, though he pretends he does, those little shits make him happier than he’ll ever tell them.

All this to say that he’s been settling in okay at Scoops Ahoy. It’s become a familiar place where he found his groove and though his flirting has gotten him nowhere, something Robin delights in for some reason, he isn’t getting confused looks anymore.

Besides, he doesn’t care that much that the girls don’t take him up on his offer for a date. He can’t really spare the money for it and despite fooling himself that he liked girls for many years, now that he’s aware, he can’t really see the appeal that much. They just don’t do it for him.

Still, he has pick up lines that he can pull out and he knows his hair is well liked, though the latter is covered by his stupid uniform.

He’s getting off topic, the point is that he’s gotten comfortable at Scoops Ahoy, which means he doesn’t expect Eddie Munson to walk into the place, looking like a walking wet dream. The man is still jeans, but he has dropped the leather jacket in favor of just wearing his battle jacket and a cutoff band shirt, which show off his arms in ways that should be illegal. Like, since when does Eddie have tattoos?

Steve shakes himself out of it, trying to be casual, as Eddie rolls up to the register with a: “Stevie, hey, man.”

“Ahoy, are you ready to set sail on an ocean of flavors with me? I’ll be your captain,” Steve finds himself greeting back. His cheeks light up at his own words and he ignores how this is a line he used on some of the girls, because it was honestly instinct and not something he wants to say to Eddie.

Fuck, he wants Eddie to think he’s cool, or at least not a massive looser that got kicked out. So, he aims to make it goofy halfway through. To play it off as a joke, because part of him knows the greeting might make Eddie laugh.

He’s right in that regard and is rewarded by one of Eddie’s deep laughs that make his insides curl up in the best way. “Wow, that is truly something,” Eddie grins. “I can’t believe you’re an ice cream slinging sailor.”

“Shut up, dude,” Steve huffs, the annoyance not landing as anything he means.

“Not judging, not judging,” Eddie assures him. “It’s not like I have the best ways of obtaining some money.”

Steve shrugs in a way that says ‘that’s fair’ because drug dealer indeed isn’t the best occupation to have. He moves on. “So, I’m guessing you came here for ice cream and not to laugh at me? What flavor do you want?”

“Uuuhm,” Eddie replies, tapping his plush lips with one of his long fingers in a way that has Steve fighting not to stare. Then he gets hit by Eddie’s big eyes, now a tad apologetic. “I’m gonna be honest, don’t know, man. I just want to cool down. The heat is killer.”

“We offer samples,” Steve tells him, because he wants Eddie to have a nice treat. It’s clear he doesn’t go out often and Steve want his experience with Steve to be nice. He’s aware that’s slightly pathetic, but he doesn’t care.

Eddie lights up at the offer, which makes it worth it, and asks: “Really? That’s cool, dude. What do you recommend?”

“I don’t know, what do you like?” Steve shoots back.

“Chocolate?” Eddie offers.

“We have peanut butter chocolate swirl,” Steve says, remembering the flavor because it just came in and Robin forced him to carry the heavy tub.

“That’s sounds nice,” Eddie says, eyes lighting up at the name.

A sense of pride and satisfaction rises up at the reaction that Steve attempts to push down as he scoops up a sample for Eddie. He hands it to him with a: “Here you go.”

“Why thank you,” Eddie replies, taking it with a courtesy, which makes Steve roll his eyes, though any snarky response to it dies in his throat as Eddie licks off the ice cream. Steve’s eyes tracking his tongue and his insides lighting up at the small moan Eddie lets out. “This is fucking good.”

“Glad you like it,” Steve squeaks. “Want a whole scoop?”

“Fuck yeah,” Eddie grins. “In a cup, please.”

“So polite,” Steve manages to joke, re-finding his post-puberty voice. He busies himself with scooping Eddie some ice cream, missing how Eddie’s eyes are glued to his arms, as he asks: “So, what brought you to the mall?”

“I have refused here to come on principle. Malls are a capitalistic hellscape that are here to create a monopoly and run local people out of business,” Eddie informs him, like that is a casual thing to say and, for Eddie, it kind of is. “However, even I can’t resist the siren song of a record shop that carries more metal. So alas, I have crumbled under the pressure of The Man. But don’t think I’ll be back here again!” he exclaims at the end.

The statement makes Steve sadder than he wants to be. He reminds himself that keeping his distance for Eddie is smarter, that it is good that Eddie isn’t going to come by every day and lick ice cream obscenely in front of Steve’s face. But that doesn’t squash the disappointment in his chest completely.

“Well, the enjoy ice cream on the house for your hardship,” he says, offering Eddie his cup with a charming smile. Eddie blushes a bit, Steve is almost sure, but he pushes the observation down as far as it will go.

Eddie ignores it too, taking the cup with a dramatic gesture as he proclaims: “My many thanks, kind shop keeper! Your generosity shall not be forgotten.”

“Yeah, yeah, stop making a scene,” Steve laughs. “Just take your ice cream and enjoy it.” Preferably somewhere I can’t see you lick it or I’ll combust, he adds mentally.

“I will. Thank you, Stevie,” Eddie says as he takes a bite from his ice cream using the sample spoon still in his hands. He hums happily, before waving at Steve and skipping out of the store, leaving Steve to stare at the place he occupied earlier.

“Your turn to take a break,” Robin snaps him out of his staring as she comes out of the backroom and Steve is grateful that he has a chance to gather himself, before getting back to work.

A few days later and he is coming out of that same backroom with excitement. Dustin is back in town and he has missed the squirt. He’s missed him so much. Dustin, who hasn’t heard what’s going on, who will never see the bruise that has already faded, who comes with grant tales of his adventures and who still treats Steve like the cooler older brother.

If Steve is honest, he doesn’t believe much of the Russian message story, but it’s a distraction.

Dustin’s excitement is infectious, despite all that has happened to the kid, he hasn’t let that dull his excitement about adventure. Steve doesn’t share much of the sentiment, but goes along with it. This way he can also keep Dustin safe, should it go wrong.

Helping Dustin with his project also means he isn’t out there serving ice cream. It says a lot about how far he and Robin have come from those first awkward days that she lets him bail on her like that to spend time with Dustin.

It also gives him a break from flirting with girls he doesn’t like, which is nice. He’s lost motivation for it pretty quickly, especially after finding out about the changed lock. He still feels the need to do it to protect himself, unable to stop himself from noticing how the targeting has gone down ever since he started flirting with girls again. But he doesn’t want to find a wife just to get back in his father’s good graces again. He’s happy to never see him, if he’s honest.

So, he’s happy to hide in the backroom and even happier to wipe away the fail board Robin made for him. He wants to tell her that he’s failing on purpose, but he can’t so it stands there as a reminder.

The two of them are not really getting anywhere with the translation. Steve honestly isn’t sure why Dustin even asked him, both know he’s not the smartest. But then again, he told Steve something about the others ditching him and Will also mentioned something about everyone getting more distant, busy with their girlfriends. Ahh, shitty old puberty.

Not that Dustin isn’t terrible with how he keeps bringing up Suzie, how amazing she is, how Steve should also find his Suzie. But he manages to ignore that for now.

Steve is sure that when the shine wears off, they’ll all return to how they were before. With what they have shared, it’s impossible not to. So, he just basks in getting to spend time with Dustin and tries not to worry about the kids too much.

However, Robin’s good graces run out at some point and she demands Steve do his job again and let her have a crack at the code. They obviously haven’t been hiding it as well as they thought they were, yet Steve feels the need to deny it and not let her get involved.

They’re not dealing with the Upside Down, just a Russian transmission. It’s not like they’re going to run into trouble in Hawkins over this, but still… Robin is nice. Well, she can be a bitch, but in the best way and Steve doesn’t want to see her get hurt over another one of Dustin’s projects.

But Robin is also stubborn and by the looks of her, he isn’t going to get her to back off. She’s also crazy smart on top of that, so if they actually want to succeed, they need her help.

So, he folds, like he so often does and goes to scoop ice cream again as Robin helps Dustin translate his coded Russian message.

As he scoops, he can’t help but perk up at every head of curly brown hair that walks in. He knows what Eddie told him about not coming back and he also knows he promised himself to keep his distance from Eddie, but still… He can’t help but look. Hope that Eddie will come back and he’ll get to hear more of that banter and watch him eat another scoop of ice cream.

Instead, however, he is stuck with the masses, who are indulging themselves on their outing to the mall or just because the weather is so hot. The most thrilling thing that happens is Robin popping in with the first sentence, which isn’t thrilling at all.

It’s only that evening that things take a turn for the weird. Well, weirder, this is Hawkins after all, it is never truly normal here.

But, things always manage to get weirder and while Steve hasn’t been much help in translating, the music that played still bugs him. And it is not until they’re walking through the mall after closing the shop that he realizes why.

He is naturally teased by both Dustin and Robin as he suddenly stops at the horse and asks for a quarter, however he shuts them up when the music starts playing and they all recognize it. The same music as from the intercepted message.

The Russians aren’t in Russia at all, they’re in Hawkins.

Mentally Steve rearranges what this means. Russians in Hawkins. They probably don’t have an army here, people would notice that, so it’s a small spying operation at best. They can take a small spying operation, right? Can’t be much worse than the demodogs or demogorgon.

For a second, Steve wonders why he ever let himself caught up in this all. He knows he’s going to go along with it again, he can’t bear to let Dustin do this alone, or with Robin, who seems equally excited about the prospect. Though he can forgive Robin, because she hasn’t been nearly gnawed to death a few months prior. Dustin has no excuse though.

They all agree to go on a spy mission tomorrow, assigning tasks to everyone and agreeing on times to meet up. Then Steve drops Dustin off at home, waving at Mrs. Henderson, who has always been nice to him, albeit a little confused, before driving to the Byers House.

When he gets there, it’s already late. And he feels bad about not calling when he sees how relieved Joyce looks that he’s alright. He isn’t used to anyone wondering where he is.

“I saved you some dinner,” Joyce tells him, not mentioning that she worried and Steve doesn’t either.

“Thanks,” he says, then, because he feels the need to apologize, he add: “Sorry, for missing it and not saying.”

“It’s okay,” Joyce immediately assures him. “But it should be criminal they keep you this late.”

“Oh, no, I stayed late, because-” Steve hesitates, not sure if he wants to involve Joyce in this nonsense again. He knows it’s different, it’s not the Upside Down and her boys aren’t involved, with all she’s been through, she probably doesn’t feel the need to go investigating again. Best to leave her be. “Because I was still chatting with Robin,” he decides on.

“You went on a date!” Will suddenly speaks up from his place at the table, managing to sound surprised and betrayed.

“What, I-” Steve reacts, before he can think about it, stopping himself in his tracks. He doesn’t want to confirm anything. He definitely doesn’t want to put Robin in a spot where she has to lie for him or himself in a spot where he has to explain why. But it’s also a good way to continue building his safety net.

So, he stays quiet and blushes when Joyce smiles teasingly and chides Will: “Leave the man be, Will. He can go out if he likes. No need for the yelling.”

Will obviously disagrees with that statement and turns back to his notes, probably a campaign, with a huff.

Great.

Fucked that up again.

Morosely Steve eats his cold dinner as he looks at Will scribbling away. He wants to ask about what he’s doing, but he’s not in the mood for the inevitable attitude. So, he finishes his dinner and gets ready for bed, he has a weird day tomorrow.

The next day, he finds himself hiding behind the potted plants in his stupid uniform with some binoculars and Dustin by his side. He takes back all he’s thought about wanting Eddie to come back, he would probably die with humiliation if Eddie saw him like this.

Still, Dustin seems to be enjoying himself, which is good. However, Steve doesn’t want him to get too caught up in the whole thing when it might end up in disappointment. So he pretends to be annoyed a guy is talking to some girl, which sets Dustin off on a tangent.

He starts regretting it when Dustin starts up about Robin again. It’s a little on him. He should have known that for a straight guy a coworker would have been an obvious person to try and date, but he never even thought about it.

“No, man, she’s not my type,” he says to try and curb the conversation, trying to balance shelving the topic and not saying anything incriminating. “She’s not even in the ballpark of what my type is, all right?”

His plea for Dustin to drop it is not heard as he moves on to constructs of popularity and high school ecosystems.

It reminds Steve of the fact that Dustin has no clue how far he fell and what he faced at school when he became a cheerleader. And that Dustin has no clue how high school works if he thinks Steve didn’t face massive amounts of shit for that. Fuck, he hopes Dustin finds a place next year.

Before he can spiral or Dustin’s rant can get further out of hand, they’re distracted by a possible Russian spy, who turns out to be a jazz aerobics instructor. A very hot jazz aerobics instructor, though Steve is denying that to anyone who asks.

When they get back, Robin has cracked the code. Steve watches her mouth move as fast as her brain as she stands there, explaining her findings.

Starcourt mall is a drop off point for the spy operation they have going on here. They’re going to drop shit off here and then a Russian spy will come in and get it. It takes Steve only one glimpse at Dustin for him to realize that the kid is planning to get to that drop off first.

By now, they’re all too far in for them to stop looking now, besides Steve hasn’t seen any Russians all day. Whatever spy is in Hawkins, it can’t be a dangerous one, or a very big group.

From there it snowballs and it snowballs fast.

They get maps, they plan, they bribe Erica Sinclair to help and get the equipment. Before Steve knows it, he is in the bowels of the earth surrounded by way more Russians than should be there with the possibility of the Upside Down being back.

Panic is beating in his chest as he tries to lead Dustin, Erica and Robin to safety. In his mind all he can think of is how stupid he’s been to go along with Dustin, to underestimate the threat, to let Robin get involved, fuck, to get Erica involved. She’s only ten. Fuck.

He is also starting to realize that they’re not making it out. Not this time. He has to do something if he doesn’t want anyone to die on his watch.

They’re coming up at a door. It’s a room. A dead end. Steve makes the split second decision to throw himself against it, yelling to the others to hide and get out. Behind him, Dustin and Erica go look for an exit, while Robin throws herself against the door as well.

The action surprises Steve, he’s sure she would have run out of here as fast as she can, but instead she helps him. Despite the fact that Robin is less strong than him, her presence helps and Steve is grateful for her and the fact that he’s been spending half a year lifting girls up in the air, which helped with his muscle mass.

Russians are now fully banging against the door. Steve mentally goes through everyone, the number one priority are Dustin and Erica, they’re both children and Dustin knows what adult to go to about this to get help.

So, he and Robin hold the door, watch them go, listen to Dustin promise he won’t forget him. And the only thing Steve can feel is despair, because he knows he isn’t going to make it out.

Once the kids are far enough away that he doesn’t think they’ll get caught, he turns to Robin and says: “You get out now.” He gives her a grin neither of them believe in as the door continues to rattle. “I’ll hold them off.”

Steve expects her to back off, to leave, to maybe look back with an anguished look, or repeat what Dustin told him earlier. He expects her to run.

What he never would have seen coming is for her to shake her head, to try to smile even if she looks as scared as he feels, to square her shoulders and say: “I’m not leaving you, dingus. You can’t keep this door closed without me.”

And Steve laughs a little, because otherwise he’ll cry.

Both of them know, they’re not keeping door closed together either, but it doesn’t matter. They are going to try and then they’re going to fail and then they’re going to die, but they aren’t going to die alone.

Steve never realized how badly he wants someone to be there when the Upside Down nonsense finally takes them out. How badly he wants to be witnessed, even if it is only for his final moment. How glad he is to not be alone right now.

He grabs her hand, like they had on the rooftop and squeezes, giving her a small smile he hopes is reassuring. She squeezes back, managing a watery smile of her own, before silent tears start to slide down her face.

The door swings open, flinging them backwards. Men stream into the tiny room and Steve gets roughly dragged away. He feels Robin’s fingers slip from his own and lets out a loud yell as he struggles, but it isn’t enough.

They get separated.

He’s alone.

Well, not really alone. A man in an intimidating uniform with an equally intimidating entourage is in the room with him and he can only hope Robin doesn’t have the same company he does, especially when they start to lay into him.

The man asks him questions about why he’s here and who he works for. Steve assumes the man is expecting him to confess to being a spy, to infiltrating their base on purpose, ready to face what is happening right now.

But Steve isn’t ready to face this right now. He is scared, alone and cold. His head is racing and all he can manage is the truth.

It quickly becomes clear that the truth isn’t good enough.

They lay into him, heavy hands meeting his head and his ribs. It hurts more than Billy last fall, more than his father laying into him, more than anything Steve has experienced before. Whoever this Russian is, he is a professional and he is good at his job.

Steve is crying, unable to keep a facade of unbothered masculinity. He doesn’t want to pretend right now, he just wants to disappear. It hurts so so bad, his head is swimming and they just keep yelling at him.

In front of his eyes, flashes Eddie when he came into Scoops Ahoy. How he looked in that outfit, his arms that bulged as he moved, his tongue over the sample spoon and the little moan he let out when he tasted the ice cream.

Now Steve wishes that he hadn’t turned his line into a joke. That he’d flirted for real, maybe even made Eddie blush instead of laugh. How he could maybe have scored a date with the guy he’s been crushing on for a while now.

Fuck, he doesn’t want to die scared.

He doesn’t want to die without having kissed a boy.

He doesn’t want to die pretending to be someone he’s not.

He doesn’t want to die in another mask.

At this point Steve is screwing his eyes closed, as if he’s five, playing hide and seek with his mother, who isn’t even searching for him. How he hid behind a plant that couldn't conceal him, but because he closed his own eyes and couldn't see his mother, he was convinced she couldn't see him either. In a way that had been true.

He just hopes they haven’t hurt Robin too. He likes Robin. She’s become a friend in their time working together and he is the reason she’s down here, stuck in a base, likely dying unless Dustin gets back with backup in time.

His ears are already ringing, the hurt a part of his being, so he snaps into focus when after a particularly bad hit, the ringing suddenly stops. Surprised he looks up, then the world spins and he blacks out.

When he comes to, there is still a feint ringing and his skull is pounding, but there are no more screaming men and at his back is a warm presence, an oddly soothing smell of artificial strawberry fills his nose. His peace, however, is broken by Robin, who yells: “Help! Help!”

“Ugh, would you stop yelling,” he murmurs.

Immediately Robin moves behind him and there is relief in her voice that he doesn’t have the brain capacity to tie to his own awaking. She exclaims: “Steve! Oh my god! Steve, are- are you okay?”

With more consciousness also comes the awareness of his own body. Steve takes stock of how he’s feeling, which is pretty terrible, but he doesn’t want to worry Robin more. They’re tied back to back, so it’s not like she can check. He jokes: “My ears are ringing, and I can't really breathe, my eye feels like it's about to pop out of my skull, but, you know, apart from that, I'm doing pretty good.”

“Well, the good news is that they're calling you a doctor,” Robin laughs, sounding on the border of panic and hysteria. Maybe not the best joke.

“Is this his place of work?” Steve asks, trying again to keep her mind of it by turning up the bitchiness. “I love the vibe. Charming.”

This time her chuckle is more normal and her rib cage is no longer going haywire against his own, which had hurt. She seems more level headed and ready to think. In fact, she even thinks of a way they could maybe escape.

Their situation feels pretty hopeless, but Steve is willing to try anything. It’s not like it can get any worse.

So, the two of them hop on their chairs together. The first hop goes good, the second one also works. A bubble of hope starts to build in Steve’s chest that is immediately crushed as they crash to the ground together, more pain shooting through him.

It takes a second before he reorients himself again. Then he becomes aware of the choked noises from behind and how Robin’s shoulders are shaking. His heart hurts for her, how she’s stuck here with him and he tries to soothe her. “It’s okay, it’s okay. Don’t cry. Robin.”

Then he hears her giggle. Giggle. She’s not crying at all. Confusion and worry for her sanity go through him as he asks: “Are you laughing?” in an incredulous voice.

“Yeah,” Robin gasps.

“Jesus,” Steve sighs.

“I’m sorry!” Robin exclaims. “I’m so sorry. It’s just- I can’t believe I’m gonna die in a secret Russian base with Steve “The Hair” Harrington. It’s just too trippy, man.”

Steve ignores the call to his earlier persona. His straight persona he realizes now, his shield against eyes that could know something about him. Instead he focuses on Robin thinking she’s going to die down here. He agrees of course, but he’s going to do everything in his power to get her out of here alive, even if that means dying himself.

“We’re not going to die,” he tells her. “We’re gonna get out of here, okay? Just- You gotta let me just think for a second.”

He has never been the guy that made the plan and the whole situation looks hopeless. Still, he wracks his pounding brain for anything they can do.

A few seconds later and Robin is breaking their thinking silence again, asking: “Do you remember, uhm, Mrs. Click’s sophomore history class?”

“What?” Steve asks in turn, not sure if she genuinely asked that or if he’s starting to hallucinate her asking about school right now.

“Mrs. Clickity-Clackity. That’s what us band dweebs called her,” Robin goes on as if he never said anything at all. “It was first period, Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you were always late. And you always had the same breakfast. Bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame bagel.”

Steve remembers none of this and he listens to Robin talk about him, her voice becoming more bitter as she goes on: “I sat behind you two days a week for a year. Mister Funny. Mister Cool. The King of Hawkins High himself.”

At her words Steve hearts starts to plummet and it breaks when she asks: “Do you even remember me from that class?”

She is quiet for a second, waiting for an answer, but Steve can’t bring his mouth to shape any words, doesn’t have any that would communicate how he feels. He can’t tell her how much he hates the guy he used to be, can’t excuse what he did, can’t make it right.

So he sits there, silent, as Robin sighs: “Of course you don’t. You were a real asshole, you know that?”

And all Steve can do is say: “Yeah, I know,” because he does.

After a second, Robin goes on, apparently not done yet. “But it didn’t even matter. It didn’t matter that you were an ass. Even though all of us losers pretend to be above it all, we still just wanna be popular, accepted, normal.”

Steve thinks back on all the nights he spend alone, wishing he was different, wishing he was normal, wishing his parents would love him, wishing he could be what his father wants him to be, and he gets it. Gets her.

He wants to reach out to her, tell her he understands, connect with her. He wants to tell her about Eddie and what he realized as he was getting his face beat in. But he can’t tell her that yet, they still have to try and make it out of here and he can’t have her be disgusted by him. Or heartbroken and unwilling to listen.

Yeah, Steve isn’t that stupid. Robin used to be obsessed with him, he knows what that means, and it hurts, because she might be one of his best friends now and he doesn’t want to loose her just because she has a crush on him.

Maybe he’ll tell her when they get out of here.

For now, he just says: “If it makes you feel any better, having those things isn’t all that great. Seriously. Everything that people tell you is important, everything that people say you should care about, it’s all just… bullshit. Besides, they turn on you just as easily.”

“Like when you did cheerleading?” Robin asks him softly. It’s the first time she mentioned it ever since she first asked.

“Yeah,” he replies equally soft, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

“I thought it was cool you did that,” she tells him. “It really sucked what they did to you, but you never seemed bother my it. Mister Unflappable, you were. For a second, I thought-” Robin cuts herself off. “Doesn’t matter. It was just really messed up.”

“It kind of was,” Steve agrees, then to lighten the mood, he says: “At least it can’t get any more messed up than this.”

Both of them laugh at that, Steve’s ribs hurting at the movement, but neither of them care, because they need to laugh at something at this point.

Once the laughter has died down again, Steve says: “You know, I wish I’d known you in Click’s class.”

“Yeah?” Robin replies, like she doesn’t believe it.

“Really, I do,” he assures her, because he needs her to know how glad he is he knows her. She can be a massive bitch and it wasn’t easy to get along with her at first, but she’s never been fake-nice like so many of the old people he hung around with, or cruel. She means what she says, it just comes out wrong sometimes. She is so weird and he loves her.

The mood is going down again and Steve hates that. The floor is already cold enough and any hope of getting away seems further and further away, they don’t need to be morose on top of that.

“Maybe you could’ve helped me pass the class,” he jokes. “Maybe instead of being here, I’d be on my way to college right now.”

“And I would have no idea that there were evil Russians beneath our feet, and I would be happily slinging ice cream with some other schmuck,” Robin adds.

It sounds crazy to think about. To not be here with Robin. To not have fed Chrissy ice cream every day for weeks. To not have waived Eddie’s ice cream costs, because he had already been through enough having to face the mall for his music. To not have been there when Dustin intercepted the message.

God, he can’t imagine Dustin being here alone, or with one of the other idiots he calls friends. He can’t really picture it. Having to hear how they got hurt, how they might have died, while he wasn’t here to protect them.

But maybe if he had made it into college, his father wouldn’t have been so mad. Maybe Steve would still be living in his old house. Maybe his father wouldn't have cared about the cheerleading and instead would have been proud of Steve.

He tries to imagine that. Tries to picture how his father would have looked, but he can’t. Holy shit, he can’t even imagine how his father would look when proud.

A big part of Steve knows that it wouldn’t have mattered if he got into college. Richard Harrington would never be proud of his son, of Steve. Especially not when Steve joined the cheer squad. When he is thought to be a queer.

Nothing can be good enough to erase the fact that he’s a fag.

And Steve wonders why he can’t let it go like he told Chrissy to do. Why he still keeps looking back and wondering, even if he stopped trying to gain his father’s approval. Why it has to come back in this dark, cold Russian bunker.

His parents might not even hear he’s died here, even if he dies as a hero. They’re not even here and Steve doubts they’ll come back.

He is so tired of trying for them.

He wants to stop.

He knows what he is. He is a fag and he’s proud of it, screw them. He’s gotten too close to death too many times for him to want to die like this. He doesn’t want to work in an office with his father, wearing stuffy suits for the rest of his life.

No, Steve wants to bitch with Robin as they sling ice cream at Scoops Ahoy, wants make Chrissy fly, because she smiles so widely that it must hurt when he does, wants to listen to Dustin talk about Suzie or complain about his friends, unable to hide his fondness under the annoyance.

Fuck, he wants to talk to Will, tell him how queer he is, how scared he is, how it is the reason and that he’s sorry he lied. Wants to see if Joyce’s promise that it was okay still holds. Wants to know what it would be like to kiss a boy.

Wants to know what it would be like to kiss Eddie specifically.

However, instead of saying any of that, he says: “Gotta say, though, I liked being your schmuck. It was fun while it lasted.”

Because he can’t verbalize all the other things. Their fate seems hopeless now and all he wants is for Robin to know that he doesn’t care how fucked up it has all been, he still liked working with her and he wouldn’t want to be here with anyone else.

And when Robin says: “It was,” Steve knows she understands and she means the same.

~~

A/N:

My lesbian ass might have underestimated my ability to write a gay man, but I stay strong and I try xp (also pls don’t be mad if I mess up, I’m sensitive)

Also not Steve thinking Joyce wouldn't want to know he’s getting caught up into something again, im weeping, this lady has no chill, Stevie, and she caresssss. Let Her Care! Let Her Solve The Mystery! Let Her Help!

By the way, can you imagine how terrifying those last moments at the door were? How scary it must have been to be taken? I am so emotional about them <3