#like seriously that cant have been easy to type so much esp if they were doing it live kasdvkjas

[poltergeist-coffee]

WE WEEE RIGHT THIS TIME

FCELL IS BACK

YEAAAAAAAH-

Wait, no-

Just don't hurt my favourite cúbito(qpac)pls, mah boi has been through so much

It's not like I've been waiting for a villain arc of one of the favela six, noooo, never

I'm just saying that they have been through so much y'know? Let them be silly

Wait until my ADHD kicks and the next thing you'll know is that there's a long rambling about jellyfish or octopus or any other sea creature and trying to mix then with qsmp characters in your askbox

Back to lore

Hide your federation works, they might get JVNQ'd

The twins be arguing

Qcellbit is okay, he's the most same person in the room

I'm watching qbagi and qcellbit argue about the dead workers and damn, ccCellbit doing a good acting there

WE ARE GETTING GOOD CONTENT TODAY LES GOOOOO

"why do you sabotage yourself?! Now that you have a family you want to be alone, now that you have a family you want to fight alone, we are here to fight with you but not like that"

"I'm tired, Bagi, I'm tired, I've hold myself for so long I- I had feelings, I manage to feel again for the first time and all of this is being taking away from me one by one. You talk about my family, you talked about Richarlyson, talked about Roier, you've already saw how Roier is, you've already looked deep into his eyes and seen the empty soul that is inside because he lost everything he had, he lost Bobby because of the federation, he lost Richarlyson because of the federation. We have nothing left. I don't feel anything anymore and the only thing I can feel right now, THE ONLY WAY TO FEEL ANYTHING now is to feel their damn blood flowing down my hands and that's what I'll keep doing, if my name needs become a legend, a- a monster, if they all tremble and stay up all night because of me, THAT THEY DO UNTIL I MANAGE TO GET THE ONES I LOVE OUT OF THIS FUCKING ISLAND, BAGI, AND YOU NOR NOBODY WILL BE ABLE TO STOP THIS"

"Roier became even more empty after I told that it was you that was killing the workers. So if this is what you want, if you want to lose everyone for once, It's by continuing what you're doing. But if you want your family to fight by your side you just need to stop for a moment and think little, you just need to give us a chance to do this with you, you just have to stop doing things alone, you've always done everything alone because you are used to being alone but you are not alone anymore.

"I'm not."

"You are not alone anymore

"It's not a matter of losing you or not, the matter is, you- I've asked you a while ago if you were willing to burn this island with me"

"I will burn this island with you, but I'll not burn innocent people, you are becoming a serial killer, you're not becoming a revolution."

"I will become whatever it takes to win-"

"Cellbit-"

"-this fight"

"This is not how we solve problems, we knows that there are workers working from inside to break the federation, Pack shower me a place-

Mans process to laugh maniacally because he is just like that

"-but you need to understand that we need to fight together to do it. You spent your whole life alone and so did I!"

" 'Work from within', you have no idea of how thing works inside there."

"You won't kill workers anymore. You can kill Cucurucho, you can end the federation, the big boys(not sure how to translate that) but everytime you kill a worker you are only losing the reason, they are not here because they chose to be here.

"While they are here, they will be stuck with me"

"And you with me"

"If you want to be on their side, you will regret because now-"

"I'm on your side

"-is no longer a matter of a- of- of a (little) game, I played their game for long enough, I followed their rules for long enough-

"Just don't play their game"

"-Now is time for them to play by my rules"

...

"You- ... What made you like this? It wasn't the workers, it wasn't them.

Totally sane laugh.mp4"I've always been like that, Bagi, I've always-"

"No-

"Been like that. The last months-"

"You weren't aways like that"

"You don't know, you don't know how much I- why do you think I drank coffee all the time? I can't sleep, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't rest, this is the true me- every damn secong that I didn't kill someone, every damn SECOND I didn't taste blood, was a second I was controlling mulsef, holding who I truly am and I just lost and I just suffered. I got tired of losing and I got tired of holding myself back, I just want to got back to feel again."

"Didn't you want to feel a family, a love? You want to feel anger, violence, hate. This ia how you lose your family, we- everybody that loves you wants to end the federation but the way you doing things is very dangerous to you, you will end up dead if you keep like that, you will end up with the island, you will end up killing yourself. You think I'm arguing with you because I want to argue with you? I'm arguing with you because I'm scared that you will you kill yourself"

"If that's what it takes, I've already died many times."

...

"And you won't die again. Because we won't let it, your family won't let, even if you don't consider me your family, I don't care, I am your family and I won't let"

"Then I will see you on the battlefield with me"

Leaves dramatically

Sorry for the random transcription, got way too involved

I tartes It middle watching it because I thought it was a cool part and I ended up transcriptig the rest of the whole thing(there's a bit from the start missing, where Bagi hit him with the frying pan), I thought it would be just a small bit of it but it's kept scalating 😭

Who let these two roleplay together? Gosh, it was great

Cellbit's voice when he says "I just want to go back to feel again", it's just- qbagi desperation while having to keep calm, to think in a way to convince him to stop, gosh

Just- damn

I was smiling so hard because that acting was great

That's is what I was waiting for

I can't help but think cellbit's voices was sounding a bit like what he sounded in Fuga impossível

The way he starts his first line I wrote, the way it scalates, from a calm(ish) to anger, and qbagi's voice after it? More calm, trying to reason with him, she lost him before because of the federation, she don't want to lose him again because of... Himself

He breaking into laughing, her worry and own anger, his months of anger and murderous urges bottled up, her desperation, his emptiness, their hate to the reason their life was spent like that, their loneliness

Qbagi wants Cucurucho dead as much qcellbit does, she hates the federation as much as he does, the difference between them? Qcellbit is tired of everything, his friend got kidnaped, he got tortured, he infiltrated into federation, hurt the people he loved the most. Not once, the duo who stumbled on important thing by pure accident, that were the ones more out of this mess? Arrested, as if they don't have bad memories brought back by it. And to watch the guy who used to said "we can lose 20, 30, 40 times, we just have to win once" to become this hopeless, this scared, to sacrifice himself in the first chance to get their friend back. To the other spend weeks missing, to come back different, to not awake again for weeks. To see the only one who hasn't been forced into that, but instead having to watch his family suffer, to lose his mind and be drugged, to go on a dangerous quest in the hope he will find their son and the other children they cared for and disappear. His son? Gone, only a shirt and a sign left as this dark matter stay untouch on his castle. His husband? Well, not good neither but at least he's there

He's tired of losing, of everything he tries being useless, of watching people around him get abused by the federation, tired of this game. He doesn't care.

"While they are on his side, while they are wearing the fucking federation uniform, while they are on the other side, they will feel fear and if- if needed to kill whoever it be, they will suffer, they will fall, they will bleed. If the fucking Bear doesn't bleed, if the fucking Bear doesn't lose, everyone around him will lose, everyone around him will feel the fear they need to feel"

But qbagi? She simpatizes with them, they might have a family. They could've been her parents. While qcellbit don't thinks in that way, because as he says, he doesn't have a father, he doesn't have parents, he didn't had a family. She simpatizes with the workers. The others? The ones above? She wouldn't care, she wants them dead, but she don't want to lose qcellbit, not again

They are different, but still, they still similar

Fifteen years apart, they still siblings to her, even if he is a monster, she knew, and she don't care if he doesn't seen her as family, he's stuck with her, she found him and is not willing to let him go so easily

I spent way to long writing this

Sorry about that, gêmeos do mistério woke up my writing side and it kicked me out of the keyboard

BUT YEAAAAAAH LOREEEEE

- 🍽️ (<- regrets nothing)

i love when i come to tumblr and in my ask box is you waiting for me with like an essay length ask JNDSVJNSDAK they're always super fun to read

ALSO i will be very excited if you ever come in my askbox with a bunch of different sea creatures assigned to all the qsmp cubitos. maybe ill even try and draw some :3c

QCELLBIT IS BACK TO KILLING!! NO ONE IS SAFE!! It seems like cellbit plans for this to be like a long term arc? which im very excited for because all the other times this has sort of tried to happened it ended very quickly.

qcellbit has such a martyr complex (?) not caring about if he dies/what happens to him as long as he can take down the federation or to keep his family safe. Like this is what happened during the regret/divorce arc AND HE SAID IT AGAIN TODAY WITH BAGI LIKE!!! QCELLBIT!! YOU DON'T NEED TO DIE PLEEEASE DON'T!!

cellbit and bagi both were dropping such banger lines today during their argument/talk i can't wait to see people make animatic of it or very emotionally charged artwork of the moment

qcellbit most normal man on the island has a coffee addiciton but it was so he didn't go crazy and start killing people again asnvasdkjvmlak

YOU'RE INSANE FOR WRITING LIKE MAJORITY OF THAT TALK SAKJNVKSJA PLATE ANON YOUR A LEGEND I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT WAS EASY TO DO BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH THEY WERE TALKING ASJNDVJAS thank you ur amazing try and rest your hands so they don't fall off from all that typing

ccbagi was amzing because she was told like right then when cellbit was in the room to log on and she had no idea what to expect but she pulled all that out. AND AT THE END AFTER HE LEFT SHE WAS LIKE ACTUALLY TEARING UP I WAS SO AKDNVAKJS ooorgh i love her she did amazing today

the federation is stuck with qcellbti not the other way around askjdvnksjad he is so going to be SO MUCH WORSE because he can get better which is not going to happen anytime soon

YOUR ANALYSIS IS ALWAYS SO GOOD AN ON POINT!!! GRAAAH !!!!! i adore qbagi for not giving up on qcellbit. like she lost him once she sure isn't going to lose him again. even if he hates her even if he clearly doesn't want her around she's not going to let him forget that she's here and no matter what he does, even if she doesn't agree with it, she willl be there with him every step of the way and that makes me so miserable TT SHE LOVES HIM SO MCUH!! LIKE SHE LITERALLY SPENT HER WHOLE LIFE LOOKING FOR HIM AND NOW ALL THIS :(((

the mystery twins fr posessed your body KJASNDVKJDASK hopefull they've left you alone by now lolol

[babiewonho]

can u write an essay on kihyun now please don't just saw beat root thanks QUEEN uwu

kihyun’s personality is so funny and contradictory to me lmao like he has such a big personality and um wow i just got distracted bc i put on drew barrymore by sza and it was playing at half speed bc i just played the COME GET YALL JUICE vine at half speed but anyways

first and foremost i think kihyun is very Capable like kihyun is like. so good at being an adult like he just knows how to do everything it’s so weird it’s like he was born just Knowin. like he’s just so confident and he’s good at speaking most of the time and like he said he would go to vocal lessons while working two jobs that weren’t even close to each other like he’d have to take the train and he’s so determined even going to school like he’s been doing while promoting as an idol like he just has a really type a personality and he wants to be good at everything and he has the drive to achieve that as much as any human can it’s very respectable and imo a very attractive quality like i feel like if i asked him how to do anything he’d know for some reason

he’s very charming and he knows it and sometimes it’s greasy LMAO like when they had to do the pick up lines in that video and mx were dying in the bg but it’s very effective i think that’s really good for networking etc and he’s so friendly to other ppl he acts like he already knows them but he isn’t like…overstepping boundaries which is imo the way to become friends with someone wh said one time that to get close with ppl you just have to act close i think and that’s what kihyun does he seems very sociable and friendly and easy to talk to like he makes an effort to keep the conversation going and get on the speaker’s level/help them understand the topic 

tying in with him being rly capable he’s so good at cleaning n cooking like why is he so damn responsible lmao share some of those skills w/ me…wtf…but like wow that’s rly a whole adult i bet he even does his taxes on time but he takes his work so seriously and like he’s not even a dancer but he puts so much focus n energy into dance and it shows he’s so impressive…i…i hate it

so! i think what makes ppl misunderstand kihyun is he has this weird like…sharp outside/soft inside thing going on…coughs tsundere   but by that i mean  he’s not Genuinely mean   but he plays along well with others esp 93 line they have a very cozy n roasty dynamic going on and he’s quick to tease others in a friendly way unfortunately ppl take that as ONE personality archetype the “savage” just like shakespeare invented and that ONE personality trait supercedes ALL OTHERS n suddenly kihyun hates everyone like false…hello he’s just bein a scorpio (he’s born n like the First day of saggitarius but he himself has said he’s a scorpio n the time he was born rly indicates that so im just going with scorpio these   are the Facts) he ALSO…isn’t very comfortable with “mushy” stuff he’s fine giving compliments but when they get into genuine emotional things it’s not that he gets weirded out  it’s more like   it’s okay until He has to get mushy abt his own feelings at least from what i noticed

i was actually surprised bc kihyun is somewhat easily embarrassed and i didn’t expect him to be so nurturing on an emotional level like hugging changkyun when he cried, he sympathy cries w/ wonho lmao, comforting wonho when he cried during that one v live. i thought he’d be more of a supportive but awkward type in that situation but he actually empathizes really well. that’s why i think kihyun’s personality is so like  contrary there’s all these traits that seem to be the opposite of each other but melt together just fine in his personality

but he actually has a very nourishing presence he just seems to have like a different rule for himself and he doesn’t like to get all deep or w/e that’s so scorpio of him…it embarrasses him lol he doesn’t like emotional vulnerability if he thinks it opens him up in a negative way but here he goes again with the contradictions- he’s emotionally open with children and pets. he’s amazing with children and animals n feels a lot of love n affection towards them as well as the members but honestly i’ve practically raised my little brother from infancy to like four years old and i have very high standards for child care but kihyun takes such pride in his work as always n he luvs the Babies so he is very mm meticulous abt it. i got stressed when the kid’s heads weren’t supports while getting sleepy in their chairs n then the moment i got stressed kihyun’s hand wld fly out to support their heads and he held them and esp the sick babie :(( even when he cried kihyun didn’t get panicked as many ppl too and hand him off to one of the more experienced ladies he comforted the babie n held it n also

during mxray season 2 when they met the kids again he got all worried abt i cant remember which kid it was…jongwon! i think he was worried shownu wld hurt him by accident in the bounce house thingie lmao which i was worried abt too so he was like be gentler and my heart…she soared he rly cares abt them :(( in a very genuine way n also! at the batting cages v live there were kitties and he, wonho, and ck were worried abt them getting hurt. he’s just a very caring n loving person and he does engage in a lot of skinship like they said on the psychology analysis part of mxray but i think rather than physical affection he shows love through actions like waking the members up and finding stuff for wonho etc ordering the other members around n leading them in the right direction he definitely has a BIG leadership quality n a desire to be in control but he doesn’t let himself like usurp shownu’s position lmao he just relishes the times when he gets power

i always say it’s more like shownu, minhyuk, and kihyun are three coleaders and i think they all compliment each other extremely well and kihyun is a rly good mc esp in things like mon happy radio he and minhyuk are rly entertaining and work together really well which is rly cool

he rly rly loves the members in a very fond way they make him smile a lot and what i think is so funny is i think kihyun originally has more of a tendency in situations like that there’s something historically in comedy called a “straight man” (i know) where someone else acts like an idiot and this person basically doesnt find it amusing n acts serious or upset kasjfsf and i thought kihyun wld be like that but i think mx just has such a goofy energy and kihyun often engages in the goofiness but that seems to me like something that probably changed when he met the boys i can’t seem him being like that arnd other ppl but i think he’s very fond of their dynamic and embraces it now like he laughs in this Specific way when the members all get Ridiculous like he’s in fond disbelief like when they kept singing the UFC song!!! in no exit like he’s lovingly saying “these idiots” in his head it’s really cute tbh he’s just very often Fondly Exasperated like when mh ate the whipped cream at the end of that one vid/when ck ate food of the plates from other ppl in mxray you can just tell he has so much love for his members 

as for his relationship with 93 line that’s just pure love n friendship to the point of comfortably making fun of each other n i really hate when ppl act like it’s genuine hatred bc you can’t make jokes like that with people if you genuinely dislike them they’re just all three very comfortable with and fond of each others and build off each other very well comedically and the teams switch up as to who is making fun of who and like?? if they rly hated each other things like mon happy radio with mh and kh and the times when mh was absent and hw was the replacement would be possible. they get along fine for that and it’s like an HOUR long of just them together and they make jokes and they compliment each other like anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows they don’t actually hate each other but :) had 2 say that

CAPABILITY ASIDE kihyun has these moments of hilarious like…airheadedness   as demonstrated in aleena’s amazing gifset of kihyun being dumb. he’s so smart but he just lapses on the most ridiculous things aksjfasf it’s so funny  kihyun, staring at a seatbelt: does this go around my neck   is this the Neck Belt  Oh..  just youthful naivete which the other members bring up sometimes n his face when they got their first win :(( cld it be…kihyun is a soft babie!! it Cld !! :D

also vocal wise i’m not a Professional or anything but he’s rly one of the best vocals in kpop like breath support and not singing with strained notes and vocal agility he’s just so good he and shownu are actually different imo than a lot of kpop vocals who just sing n half of it’s like  rhythmic yelling lmao like he and shownu can both sing BALLADS well and with CONTROL they’re so incredible and kihyun has a pretty wide range imo it’s very healthy singing with lots of support 

anyways i wrote WAY more than i thought i was gonna be able to abt him there’s deadass like 1.7k words right here lmao like yall readin this? eyes emoji anyways i hope this makes some sense it’s 4 am…anyways i think kihyun’s personality is fascinating and i feel like i have quite a few personality traits in common with him but also i wanna arm wrestle him so damn bad im not even reading back through this and checking it’s too much LMAO

[franeridart]

fran i dont understand the last art?? is it a noragami au since the weapons are people?? help my dumb ass senpai

It’s !!!! okay anon why would you be dumb just for not knowing a fandom with an anime that finished airing eight years ago and a manga that finished publication four years ago haha it’s called Soul Eater! An incredibly good manga in my opinion, one of the best shounen ever, I would look it up if I were you :D 

Anon said:Could you possibly do a Tokoyami and Shouji fusion? I just love your art style with bnha!! It's fine if you don't want to though! ヾ(*´∀｀*)ﾉ

I already did!!! :O and thank you so much!!!

Anon said:i love your art, so i looked through all 64 pages of your art tag. cant wait to see more!! ;)

Thank you!!!! °O° though.... the older stuff... we could maybe pretend that never existed ever........ that’d be nice......... lmao

Anon said:followed you the second I finished reading that bakugou analysis

I take you’re of my same opinion on the matter!!! That’s nice to know hahaha 

Anon said:You really don't need to respond!! but I thought you might get a laugh at this idea. Denki convinces the squad to do GOTG w/ him for a costume party (A LOT of begging involved... he was obsessed with GOTG at the time) and gets Momo to make their costumes. Katsuki finds out the day of that he assigned him Rocket (assumed he'd be Drax) 😂. (Kami=SL, Mina=Gamora, Sero=Groot, Kiri=Drax). Denki tells him don't worry, all he has to do is be himself to get into character and runs off cackling.

Okay this is adorable hahaha I love it, though I gotta admit I can totally see Bakugou having Rocket as his favorite anyway, he’s exactly the type of character Bakugou might relate to (the “of course I care about the planets and the plants and the animals on those planets!” “and the people!” “...meh” exchange is an incredibly Bakugou thing haha)

Anon said:🌺 Send this to 10 other bloggers you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (｡’▽’｡)♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Anon said: Shoosh pap

.............I should have expected this ask haha

Anon said:you used the tag limit lmao (for the comic doodle about bakugou's temp)

:O I can see all of them, tho! If the last one you can see is “and yet”, then that’s exactly where I meant to stop lol

Anon said:As far as whether Baku gets cold fast or slow; it's not the same because I don't have a sweat related quirk obviously but I run a constant temperature of 105°F or 40.5°C (maybe that's my quirk) and it takes me a long ass time to get cold so maybe it's like that?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for the info!!!! :O that actually does make sense!

Anon said:I actually do like inko and I think she's a pretty good parent, all things considered-- but I cannot condone the whole "I'm so sorry izuku" thing, simply bc inko is more important to izuku than bakugou. If bakugou says something like "deku, youre worthless", while it is very cruel it definitely 100% will not hurt as much as izukus own mother saying "izuku I'm so sorry that your dreams will never come true". But the good things that she understands her mistake and has apologized to izuku for it.

I mean, yeah! For a long while in the manga I was like, okay, easy to say “oops I was wrong” now that you have actual proofs of the fact you were wrong and you can’t deny the fact that Izuku could make it as a hero since he’s into UA, easy to say “I support you” now that it’s obvious he can make it, using the easy way out much, but I’m always 100% open and supportive of characters that realize their mistakes and change for the better, so even if she had to wait for every condition to be in her favor before she could realize her mistake as long as she got it, that she had finally decided to be a supportive mother I was!!! Super happy for her and about it and ready to like her as much as possible! 

And then she had to go and tell Izuku she wasn’t letting him back into UA. Like, don’t get me wrong, I understand the fear for his life she has as a mother - she didn’t have fifteen years like everyone else to get used to the fact that her boy was set on becoming a hero (...since she refused to acknowledge the possibility, even though Izuku was working to become one without a quirk anyway like, she should have been even more worried for his safety before he got the quirk but WHATEVER) so she’s scared for him, and Izuku’s been hurt a lot since starting UA so I get it, but you don’t just pull the “I’m pulling him out of school” card, in front of Izuku’s teacher, mentor AND greatest hero, without ever discussing the thing with Izuku first? Without even asking for his imput on the matter, or giving him an heads up? As if she owns his whole life? 

I’m your mother I decide what’s best for you and what you want doesn’t matter at all - that’s.... that’s not growing up and learning, and that’s the literal opposite of being supportive. That’s allowing your son to have fun as long as it’s okay with you, and then going “okay, game’s done, who cares that you finally found a way to reach your goal, a place you belong to and are way happier than I’ve ever seen you before, I don’t like it so you can’t keep going”

I’m sorry, but I really, really can’t like Inko if she keeps on being like that. She’s literally the biggest hindrance on Izuku’s path to a fulfilling, happy life, and I need her to stop being like that before I can actually change my mind about her orz

Anon said:side note re: asshole bakugou and deku's development - the manga's translation is //very liberal// in trying to make it sound more 'western' in regards to how in japanese things are more formal (?) baku's demeanor and language would be considered incredibly rude so the translators try and shift the language for the english reading audience. what's probably considered absolutely reprehensible for english readers only seems that way because of how they've tried to adapt it.

Oh, yeah, that too! As long as you stick to mangastream’s translations they’re a bit more literal, but there’s a lot of things that Bakugou says/does that are just... a localization to give the “rude” feeling. Then again, he is an asshole, so you never know what he actually said and what’s just a liberal interpretation haha

Anon said:I love your art style so much! And all your Bakushima doodles and comics are super wonderful!

Ohhhhhh gods thank you so much !!!!! *O*

Anon said:are kendou's feet backwards?

...anon... my friend... why would I draw Kendou’s feet backwards.........

Anon said:Fran the comic about kiribaku and the balconies is--well, let's just say I have a new headcanon and a new otp.

THAT!!!! Makes me super happy to know!!!! :O I’m glad I could make you like those two a bit more

Anon said:Can I suggest you to draw todokami (todoroki and kaminari) please? It's a really rare pair and I would love to see it in your style but if you don't want to or are uncomfortable doing so I understand ^^ ily keep up the good work

Ahhhhhhhhhh it’s not like I’m uncomfortable with it, I just... don’t understand the ship at all? So finding inspiration to draw it is really hard for me, I wouldn’t even know where to begin! sorryyyyy m(;_;)m

Anon said:Everytime I see u posted I honestly gasp a little and then literally whatever it is just makes me happy and smile and ???? Honestly I'm blessed you're so good and lovely and * throws confetti* I hope you have a lovely day and I just wanted to let you know you bring light into my life

Holy smokes thank you so much??? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ;O; this really really means a lot to me, I’m so glad I can make you smile? Ahhhh mannnn!!!! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡.°⑅

Anon said:the sweet little bakushima comic that u just posted is my favorite ! piece of ! bnha art ! I've ever seen ! so good. so warm. thank u for sharing ur talent and ideas!! sending u love

Your favorite???? Oh my g o d ;O; thank you??? I’m super glad you liked it aaahhhhhhhh

Anon said:Fran I'm w e a k for everything u do... esp soft boys. You kill me with those.

Soft boys are the best and also my very own weakness too so I!!! try!!!! I’m glad you like them too!!!!!!!! (♡´艸`)

Anon said:THANK YOU FOR THE QUALITY KIRIBAKU YOU ARE A BLESSING

THANK YOU FOR LIKING THE STUFF I MAKE, ANON!!!!! °O°

Anon said:KENDOU!! IS SO GOOD!! YOU DRAW HER SO GOOD!!!! ily fran

G O D S thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m!!!! seriously glad I could make her pretty, she’s so beautiful to me!!!!

Anon said:is it possible to have a crush on someone's art ??? bc i sure do have one on yours it's gorgeous

OKAY HOLY SHIT THIS IS IT I’M OFFICIALLY SLAIN THANK YOU I’M RIP

[6ad6ro]

an explanation post and small update about that thing that recently happened with that one ex friend. just fyi, this is very long:

first, some backstory. i have an issue where i often end up staying in abusive relationships (friends/family/dating) for way too long for various reasons. that said, this friend. they were always problematic. they would continue aggressively making passes at me even tho i rejected them constantly. like really gross passes that reminded me of why i “hate (stereotypical) men”. bc it was real bro-style creeping. hitting on me incessantly. always hanging all over me and making any excuse to have physical contact. making gross innuendo “jokes” that went too far just… always. at one point they licked my ear when we were taking a photo together. etc.

now i confronted them on this many times. asked them to tone it down. explained how uncomfortable and stressed they made me. told them “i’m sorry but i just don’t feel that way and i wanna be friends” like god SO often. my sister (used to be friends w them too) even would sit and we’d try to explain to them why they needed to stop.

but of course, they’d always reply to this with extreme defensiveness. say i was just over thinking it. that this is just who they were. that they joke with ALL their friends this way (sidenote i’ve seen how squeamish they can make their other friends). that “maybe i should rethink my standards for what is okay and not okay”. would even accuse me of being paranoid and “gaslighting” them. even when it got better, they were always making little jokes like “oh srry i wanted to pat you on the back but idk if you’ll get mad at me” like they really wanted to let me know i was in the wrong. and beyond that, they always seemed to be like actively trying to find new avenues of hitting on me.

and that was just the personal space issues. they’d also like rage at games when we played together? like slamming my controller to the floor when they lost. being overly competitive. being rude to my other friends if they were “holding them back” in a game. they’d actually criticize people who didn’t agree with how they wanted to play as being “unskilled” and “not real gamers”. and if you ever were beating them, they’d be all angry and say stuff like you were being “ cheap”. any mistake they made in a game was “people cheating”. but any time they did well (including purposeful exploiting), it was a boast worthy achievement. trashtalk all day but only they were allowed to do it.

it was weird too bc TBH THEY AREN’T EVEN ALL THAT GOOD. like overall, i’d almost always beat them. my sister too. they were mediocre at best. but of course… they’d literally make statements like “i almost always beat you” and “i usually win” when it was just… such a rare occurrence. its just… when it came to trying to have a fun play session with people, they put the game and winning above… you know… having fun w the rest of us? and sidenote they were always SUPER picky about what game we played. and when it came to options like “what guns to use” or “what stage to play”… you know how often people take turns so everyone is happy? on their turn, they’d get respect. but on everyone elses turn, they’d always like… fuck around and change options back to theirs and like revert stuff and just…

not that age matters but did i mention they were 27. i mean idk i only bring it up bc they reminded me so much of a little kid like esp about videogames. but there were a lot of other issues with them too. but i’ll just bring up the last big one. they… morally/politically? they tended to be in a cool direction in general. v “supports human rights overall” kinda person. but… they were the type who were idk v quick to judge? they would make extreme judgement calls with no information. they’d always end up fixated on conspiracies rather than perceiving things with moderation. people can think what they want imo, but the issue here is how they needed anyone close to them to agree with them too? 

example: one time i was driving w them in an area that had very little shops and it was late and i had forgotten to pick up a gift for someone we were meeting. just a small thing to thank them for a favor. the ONLY store open and around was walmart. yes fine walmart sucks but  idk i needed a gift. i mentioned i was gonna stop by there and they were like “no not walmart”. and i’m like “yeah i know lol” and they were like “no seriously we cant go in there”. long story they refused to go in, wouldn’t wait in the car, and made it out like if i went in that there would be a big problem. i ended up showing up to the person empty handed and it sucked. another time just recently i was gonna get some lays potato chips and they were like “ew no you can’t buy anything from the cocacola company” and like shamed me and walked off so i couldn’t get them. idk this kinda stuff happens all the time tbh? but it doesn’t stop at just like pretentious annoyance. they’d go HARD with political opinions too and if you disagreed w them they’d HATE you. not just internet forums or strangers. but friends. one time my sister (who for the sake of the story is pan and leaning towards non-binary) disagreed with them when they made a sweeping statement on fb about how some specific thing made everyone “transphobic”. anyways when my sister tried to discuss it with them they literally sicked their friends on her and insulted and browbeat her until she just had to leave. she got stressed at the end and yelled back finally and then they sent her a pm like “i’m really disappointed in you. i’ll be waiting for an apology when you’re ready to give it”. lol long story short my sis dropped them at that point. as she put it “i thought highschool was over”. she was already super mad at them for how they were treating me sexually anyhow tho like... srry but i guess one of my points is my sister is like one of the coolest, nicest, best people i know. she never drops people. but she dropped THEM. over the years i’ve asked them why they go from 0 to 11 so fast and why they don’t... idk... “lead” people into agreeing with them rather than angrily and violently just immediately demanding it? and as they put it “people with strong opinions will never change so don’t bother with them” and “i act how i do as an example to others of how to be a good person”. but god i guess just recently i came to realize that they were just... i don’t think they cared about other people. they just wanted to protect THEMSELVES above all else? they wanted a reason to judge people. it was all an excuse for them to feel self-righteous and act entitled and superior. oops i forgot to mention that they’re pan and gender-neutral as well? maybe they identify as trans but idk. the only reason i mention it is bc they definitely use it as a way to shame people and feel superior. i know it’s easy to be sensitive about that stuff considering, but they go above and beyond. and it’s weird that they’re all about human rights and w/e bc GOD they’re so gross sexually and... srry another example. so they’re a furry. totally fine imo. but one day we were walking around a downtown area with a lot of bars late at night and they were wearing fox ears/tail and bein themselves nbd. but we passed by a “drunkbus” right as cookie-cutter bros spilled out of it. one of them was like “hey i didn’t know the furry convention was in town” and i immediately got super angry and turned to say something. but then i looked to see my friend had just continued to walk away? i took a breath and walked back to them and was like “i’m so sorry like do you want me to say something?” and they were like “it’s okay some day i’ll fuck them until they like it” or “until i turn them” or god idk i think they maybe even used the term “rape”... alarm bells tbh. blahh i won’t go into any more details but lets just say how they act and how they say a person SHOULD act is a dictionary definition of hypocrisy. well anyways, i guess my point i wanted to make with this backstory is, as i’ve finally come to realize... they’re an immature, self-righteous, spoiled person with a pretty distinct martyr complex. and they’re kinda rapey. they always used to complain about all this drama they had and how awful everyone was to them... and it always sounded like “really bad luck”? but i realize now that they were just a tornado of selfishness with like no emotional control and they couldn’t keep friends for too long before it just had to end in a big flaming ball. sorry like i should point out i know they’re obv full of mental illness... but i don’t think they really go to therapy or seek help for any of it? like so many of us on here are pretty messed up but we do our best? this person is not doing their best. they clearly feel the world should change before they do. anyways anyways anyways. this friendship lasted for idk 2 years? 3? it was weird that i didn’t notice my own reactions as warning signs. like when i don’t know someone too well or am having issues... i’ll often bring another friend to hangouts as a sort of buffer. maybe uncool, but it helps. usually this only lasts for like one or two hangouts. but with this ex friend, it lasted the entire period. whenever i tried to hang out w them alone, a much bigger incident would always happen, and i’d go back to square one. but okay. the actual story of the incident: so i was always trying to get them to hang out with me and another friend bc i felt like we all had v similar hobbies, and this past tuesday it finally happened. we all hung out at other friend’s place and played games and ate food and outside of exfriend’s usual little issues, it went really well. at some point it was mentioned that sonic mania released that day. it was something we had all been very excited about, but we already had plans that day and some of us (me) didn’t want to experience the game the first time in a distracted social environment. but i mentioned “ugh i have a doc appointment early tomorrow but i’ll still dl it right when i get home. i better not play it tho lol weh”! when they heard i was buying it, they were like “oh man you gotta let me come over and try it”. i knew they were a big fan of the guy who made it and a huge sonic fan, but also that they had just lost their job and money was tight (i had to buy their food that day). i had a feeling they’d morally be against pirating it temporarily until they could afford it. so idk i was like “hey listen as long as we only play like the first act each, i could take you to my place before i drive you home. but only if you’re okay with being v quick bc i have dr in the morning”. sidenote they refuse to drive and don’t use a bike so hanging out with them always involved carting them around. and no before they lost their job (v recently), they coulda def afforded it. they literally were constantly buying insanely expensive collectibles like think of the most expensive gaming stuff you can and they prob have it. sealed panzer dragoon saga. vectrex with every game. fami twin with working disc system parts. ique with most games loaded. mint physical laserdisc copy (beta?) of dragons lair from the arcade machine. whatever. my point is they spent all their money on toys instaid of bettering themselves. we all do it but they took it to an extreme. one other thing... they only would communicate over their parent’s lan line phone and over facebook. they refused to have a cellphone. back to story. they excitedly agreed to my conditions and we went back to my place and installed the game. i started playing and god it was amazing (obv)! i got to the end of act 1 in a couple of minutes and was like “okay i should rly quit and hand it to you” but they were like “no no finish the zone” and tbh it was so good i agreed. so i played until i beat the boss and then i was like “okay i can’t go further” and quit and then handed it to them. i think the whole zone took me like... 5 minutes? this is when it started getting weird. i noticed my gf had called and like idk she was a bit worried bc i normally call her after i get home from my other friend’s place (we hang every tuesday like clockwork) and it had gotten really late but i forgot to let her know. it was really sweet and i didn’t want her to worry so i was like “hey uh shoot do you mind if i call her?” and tbh they were like already so absorbed in playing the game they weren’t even paying attention to me. but i had given them the rly comfy chair but it blocked the exit to the room. i couldn’t even squeeze by unless they moved first. so i started like asking them ‘hey uh do you mind pausing and moving so i could get by?”... nothing. again i asked. ignored. this went on for like idk 30 sec? a minute? until i finally was like hovering my finger over to hit the pause button like “can you please just pause so i can leave” like... and only then did they finally say “well fine but i don’t even know how to pause”. let me take the time to point out that they are prob the most techy person i know. esp about old game systems. they build flashcarts and repair ancient consoles and solder and mod and they worked the past 4(?) years at a legit retro game store. and they were amazing to begin with. it’s a small thing, but they coulda figured out how to pause a switch. they’d played one many times before too. so finally i have them pause it. and i’m like still standing there for 30 sec or so and they still aren’t budging? and i’m like “you uhh gotta get up so i can get by the chair is blocking me”. they continue to idk ignore??? i finally have to literally pick up the chair WITH them still in it and move it aside. only then could i pass. idk but i didn’t get angry or anything bc i was just relieved to finally get by. as i walked out of the room i mentioned to them “hey if i take too long just keep playing obv but when i walk in please pause it and quit immediately so i don’t see later level content plz” (i’m a big baby and have been avoiding all details for so long and was looking forward to the surprise lol). and they were like “okay” or something. i went out to my car and talked w my gf for god idk 15 or 20 min? i didn’t want to talk that long but she was going to bed soon and was a bit down/ill and i still wanted to talk to her and idk i knew worst case my one friend would love the extra time to play. and i felt like if i stayed out that long i could go in to a very satisfied friend, you know? so i get off the phone and head inside. i enter the room and am like “okay i’m back plz pause it like we gotta go”! ignored. i ask again kinda lol trying to plug my ears and not look. ignored. at that point i notice the same song from the first zone is playing and i look over and it is in fact the same level and i’m like ??? “wait how are you still on the first level??” and they were like “oh i’m completing all of the special stages”. the first thought i had was like oh wow cool they really wanted to stick to my initial request of only playing the first zone? unnecessary but v nice of them! i guess i was really reaching for an explanation lol... so whatever they still are playing so i sit down next to them and am watching them play for another minute or so. i was about to say something bc they still weren’t stopping but then i notice how close they are to the boss and am like “oh okay cool you’re p much to the boss so you’ll be done super quick”. they keep playing. at that point i notice they’;re like... taking sonic up and around the level kinda in circles? and backtracking? like? it’s really weird and i’m like “wait what are you doing” and they’re like “trying to get rings to complete the special stages”... so i’m like “uhh sorry tbh but i’m already way past when i wanted to go to bed is there any way you can just... go to the boss”?? and they’re still doing their thing and ignoring me and so i speak up again like “cmon like i’m really sorry but this doctors appointment is an obligation and i really need to get to bed”. and at that point they pause the game. stand up angrily. kinda fling the controller so it hits the table and falls onto the hard floor. they start kinda flailing their arms angrily and say in this really sour tone “oh im sorry i just thought you were gonna idk let me PLAY the GAME”??? i start replying like “listen i’m sorry i just like i don’t have a choice in the matter like i have to go to bed like you had like 3 times as much time as i did and idk maybe you can take the switch into the car or something idk??” and they just kinda angrily say “whatever whatever just stop yelling at me”. btw i’m not yelling. i’m definitely definitely not yelling. i’m not even angry. calm. nice. confused at best? and this isn’t one of those things where it’s like “im not yelling bc when i yell you really KNOW it”... i just wasn’t yelling by anyone’s terms. at that point i’m like “listen i’m sorry i just don’t know why this is becoming such an issue like idk maybe you can wear headphones in the car and keep playing later levels or...” and that’s when they’re like “it doesn’t matter just STOP yelling at me”. and the chair is in the way of the exit and needs to be like lifted and moved so we can leave. but at that point they take their foot and just KICK the chair across the room. at that point i’m kinda like “listen i’m sorry if i have a tone in my voice or am hurting your feelings but tbh it’s kinda hard to remain perfectly calm when you’re sorta throwing a temper tantrum and..” and that’s when they shouted as loud as they could “OKAY NOPE UH UH BYEEE” and swung open the door and ran through the house to the exit door. i’m trying to call after them like “shit i’m really sorry but i don’t have time to chase after you i gotta go to bed please can i just take you home like if you leave i gotta just let you and go to bed” and they ignore me and run outside. it’s like 2am at this point btw. i kinda go outside to check if they’re standing there cooling down but no. long gone. ran down the street i think. so i go back inside. turn the light out. and lock the door. i just dont have time to deal with this. i want to but i can’t. but i sit there for a few minutes. and... (maybe) the mentally ill/abused side of me is like “well you COULD go look for them and try to calm them down and drive them home and it wouldn’t take THAT much longer than you were gonna already spend driving them, right? worst case if you don’t find them you can just go home and go to bed”. and so i head outside.as i enter my car tho, i get this weird gut awful feeling of deja vu? i realise pretty quickly that this scenario was pretty similar to the ones i had pretty regularly with my one really bad ex gf. the one who was a manipulative sociopath that used me and cheated on me and also had no emotional control etc etc etc lol? and idk i was surprised bc... i thought that this part of my life had been over. but still... the dumb side of my brain ignored that and carried on. i drove along the path i assumed they walked, thinking maybe they woulda taken the time to calm down. after a bit i finally caught up to them. i pulled up slowly and kinda called out like “hey i’m really sorry like i never wanted it to go down that way like you’re my friend like let me take you home i’m really sorry”. they ignored me for a bit and kept doing that angry car walk thing as i had to slowly follow behind and continue apologizing. finally they stopped and came to the window. they were like “listen you can’t talk to me like that and abuse me like that like what you did was so awful and bullying and ..” and went on like that for a min. and i was like “listen i’m sorry and i know me using that one word in particular must have really set you off but idk..” like trying to explain to them why i said “temper tantrum” (BC THATS WHAT THEY FUCKING HAD BTW THATS WHAT IT GD WAS) but i was trying to be nice about it? so i continued on “well i mean the reason i said that was okay like i know you were agitated but you kinda like tossed my controller haphazardly and it hit the floor and yeah i’m sure it was an accident...” and at that point they stuck their head inside the window like super close to my face and shouted as loud and angrily and full of spittle as they fucking could “WELL MAYBE IT WAS A FUCKING ACCIDENT THEN”!!!! i’m like... idk... adrenaline just dumps into my body. i’m giving this person so so so many chances tonight. being so nice. and this is a problematic friend to begin with. and they’re shouting in my face like this as i try to apologize to them so i can drive them home after they ran off. but i’m a pacifist and i try to avoid conflict. but still... i’m like, probably quietly, “you... you can’t just yell at me like that. you aren’t allowed to yell at me like that.” and they open their mouth and start shouting more. and that’s when i shout back “I WON’T LET YOU SHOUT AT ME LIKE THAT”!!! idk if it scared them or what like i know i’m pretty booming and alarming when i shout idk but regardless they yanked their head out of the window and backed away from the car and i split second checked they were clear and i just floored it. but... i quickly slammed on the breaks. took a breath. decided i didn’t want it to be like this (do you see how stupid/messed up i am). i put it in reverse and turned around to back up. but i have to slam on the breaks. thank god i was only idling at that point. bc they’re pressed RIGHT up against my back bumper. i’m trying to comprehend all this bc there’s a v big sidewalk and they were on it when i started to speed off so why are they right behind my car now? a BIG alarm bell goes off in my head but i ignore it. i stare at them as they wait pressed against my bumper for like half a minute, giving them “what are you doing” eyes and gestures. finally they come back to the window. i’m like “listen. i’m really really sorry. it’s okay if you hate me. we don’t have to talk about it or at all. i made a mistake. i’m very sorry. can i just... take you home? i feel bad. we can try and work out this stuff later if we have to”. at that point they start yelling at me again (not screaming but just normal yelling) and telling me how awful and bullying and abusive etc i am and how their reactions were justified and idek bc they started walking off again. FINALLY. FINALLLLLY. my brain accepts this situation as fairly impossible and unreasonable and i decide i gotta be done. i just... can’t? anymore?? even if i wanted to... i don’t have time? so i pull up next to them and say sternly “you know what? you can’t treat your friends like this or they will LEAVE you.” and i sped off. i think i heard them screaming after me like “YOU SHOULD TAKE YOUR OWN ADVICE” but god knows like my car is junk but i had floored it so they were long gone. okay so that’s PRETTY much the end of it. i decided pretty quickly after that that i was DONE with this person forever. that this wasn’t the kind of friendship i wanted. over the next few days i came to realize i should have been done with this person almost immediately. again, weird parallels to my worst ex. you don’t have to be dating someone or romantic w them for it to be a super abusive relationship. well anyhow i decided to avoid facebook or communicating w them for a bit so i could figure out how to like “officially end it”. because i was sure that they’d have gone on fb and written one of their common “i’m sorry i acted that way BUT” fake apologies where they pretend to be sorry but then negate the apologies by justifying all their behavior by making me out as some super abusive monster. 3 days later, i bite the bullet and check facebook, bc i realize this also is a pretty easy way for me to like... end it with them in a polite and cordial way? to pretend i don’t hate them. to talk to them in a way that hopefully keeps them from freaking out at me the next time our paths cross? also bc deep down i still do remember the good times and have a bit of respect for them. sure enough, it was there. the half-apology that leads into “you need to learn how to talk to people”. “you bullied me just like this person”. “when you talk to anyone you should use this tone”. tbh i only barely glazed over it. i started my reply along the lines of “i don’t want to get into a big discussion about what happened, but i think it would be best if we parted ways. i don’t think we’re compatible as friends. i hope we can be polite if we ever run into each other again. i’m really sorry that it turned out this way.” etc etc etc. part way in, i noticed their last short msg. sent way after the initial bunch of “sorry not sorry”s. it was just a half sentence. “i guess i should apologize for jumping in front of your car...” ... THAT FUCKING ASSHOLE. THAT BASTARD. THEY REALLY DID IT. THEY REALLY WERE TRYING TO FORCE ME TO INJURE THEM WITH MY CAR SO THEY COULD ENTRAP ME OR SUE ME OR FUCK MY LIFE UP. I THOUGHT I WAS BEING CRAZY AND PARANOID WHEN I HAD THAT THOUGHT BUT IT WAS TRUE. THAT ABSOLUTE LUNATIC. *deep breath* i’m still shaken. it was just a fluke that i didn’t step on the gas before i noticed them against my bumper. it EASILY could’ve gone down in the worst way. god. and all this over me asking them to stop playing sonic mania. tbh the experience kinda soured the game a bit for me? i mean... thank god it’s so good but really who even gives a shit bc it’s just a game like GOD fucking DAMN i can’t believe i had something so FUCKED happen at this stage in my life. i know it’s a really self-hating thing to do to blame myself for having someone like that around but... my. god. i ended up sending the fb message that i was initially planning and ignoring all the impulses to scream at them or call some authority (idek what i could do here) or tell them they need immediate help or what bc what the fuck. and i haven’t checked fb since. i wanna be done forever. i don’t ever wanna see or hear or hear about this person again. it’s a bit silly but i’m cleaning house and getting rid of all the stuff they got for me (i rejected most of their “wooing” gifts but a few still got through bc general gift exchange”. i know it’s messed up but i even washed all the clothes i was wearing w them regardless if it needed a wash or not. maybe it was symbolic. but they’re dead to me. god. it’s not just for the best it’s goddamn mandatory.

ANYWAYS so that’s it i guess. sorry i know how long this was. i don’t REALLY expect anyone to read through all this. but if you do, plz lmk so i can say thanks i guess lol? it’s just nice to get it all out there bc it kinda messed me up... really bad? idk. and oh um i’ll still reply to people individually for asking about the previous post that related to this? but it’s taking me a bit to do replies bc i’m just... kinda scared regarding social stuff rn considering.  i guess the last thing i’ll say is if part of you is telling yourself that someone is abusive and you find yourself constantly making really big considerations or umm excuses just to hang out with someone? maybe don’t. there are many good people out there for you. abusive people can be dangerous. be careful and try to surround yourself with nice, happy people. <3