#like same pattern but each letter has a different meaning again and again

[darkdragon768]

My code cracker "helper"

[audliminal]

It's Just a Game, Right? Pt 4

Masterpost

"Okay, so like. We start with this video." Bernard says, bumping Tim's shoulder lightly. Huddling over a laptop together is a familiar experience; before they actually started dating they both regularly used laptop videos as an excuse to get close. It's a memory that Tim sort of cringes at, because now it seems so silly to be scared of Bernard not liking him back, and yet now he finds himself thinking back to those early days. The thrill of huddling together to solve a mystery is a little different from the thrill of being around your crush, but there's something there, a sort of excitement in questions yet to be answered.

"All right, hit me." And as Tim leans into Bernard a little harder, his boyfriend presses play.

The video is definitely weird. That much is immediately obvious. It seems to be a slideshow of pictures, complete with audio, but the pictures just seem off in a way that Tim can't describe and the audio is - it's a little sticky, but that is definitely Space Oddity, only it sounds kind of wrong like somebody's playing certain notes off key.

"Oh, that is definitely a Caesar cipher, huh?" Tim mutters. There's a line of text written beneath every photo in the little slideshow, but they're all garbled nonsense - it would seem entirely random, but Tim can already see a touch of pattern, some of the letters definitely appearing more common than others.

"Spy phase, huh?" Bernard teases. "I should've known you would already be on this stuff."

Tim grins and does his best to pretend he's not blushing. He's never been more grateful for his tendency to go overboard with his interests. The last thing he needs right now is Bernard asking questions about why he knows so much about code-breaking. Sure, he wants desperately to tell him all about Red Robin, but it's complicated with the rest of the family being implicated in your own identity.

The video continues in the same line for the whole duration of the song, then abruptly cuts off the second the last note of the song plays.

"Well, my first thought is that it seems kind of basic." Tim offers, at Bernard's expectant look.

"Right? Like when I first watched it I was kind of like what's the hype even about? But like, every video follows this general format, but the gradient of apparent code just keeps increasing, and it's like. What if there's more here and nobody ever realized they needed to look for it?"

"Okay well, the text has already been deciphered, right? So what does it say, and how'd they decode it."

"Here," Bernard switches tabs, to a document with screenshots of the various images. The first image was a simple photograph of a man, with the translated text reading Jonathan, January Thirteenth. The next photo, which was of an empty street, dusted with snow, read Hawthorn Way, Johnny's birthday. The rest of the photos followed in the same line. Simple labels describing who or what the photo showed and when they had been taken. None of the information seemed odd or suspicious, just the kind of photos that a family might take.

"Okay, it's a Caesar cipher, but each time the alphabet is being shifted a different amount."

"Yeah. And I already tried writing down the amounts in order to see if that meant anything but like.... No luck." Bernard gestures to his notes, where there is indeed a long number sequence.

"Okay, but how'd you solve it? Did anybody look for a clue to imply the shift or did they just brute force it?"

"I mean, there's literally websites that will run it for you, so I think people just did that." Tim hums, tapping his pen against his ear. The number sequence Bernard had shown him -

"None of the shifts are greater than eleven." Tim says. Bernard blinks, and glances back over his list.

"Huh. You're right, but what does that mean?"

"Means we need to figure out what's eleven." Tim reaches out and switches back the video and starts it again. The music still seems weird to him. He's no expert musician by any means, but he did take piano lessons for a bit when he was little, and more than that, he trusts his instincts. "There's only seven notes in a scale so it's not that..."

"A scale? Do you think there's something in the music? I mean other than it just being creepy?" Tim stares at Bernard.

"Bernard, you literally told me that you think it's all been more intentional than anyone realized. If that's true then the music definitely means something."

"Huh. Yeah, that is. Oh, we definitely needed new eyes on this, huh?" Bernard's huffs, then leans into Tim. "Okay well some the notes in the song are just straight up rank so maybe it's something to do with that?"

Tim hits play on the video again, focusing on the music. Six seconds in, a note hits, sounding very off.

"See?" Bernard says hitting pause. "It does that sometimes. Just plays a wrong note. I thought it was just to fuck with us, make us on edge, but maybe it means something?"

"We need the sheet music on this."

"Yeah? Do you know how to transcribe it?"

"Not reliably enough. But I know how to find someone who can."

"Babe, you're doing it again." Bernard laughs. "That could not have sounded more like Mafia energy if you tried."

"Oh my god, shut up."

[catnipster69]

Quilt Portrait Process

This may be of no interest to most of you, but with all the comments I got on my Impala portraits, I thought this would be of interest to some of you.

Original Photo

This is the original photo I used--it's of a fan car ("Night Moves") that was at Denver con 2022. What a great photo!

Posterize

In Photoshop, I posterize the photo to get chunkier blocks of color. I just play with the number of levels until I get a good representation.

Draw Lines

I place the posterized image in Illustrator (reversed) and then go to town drawing lines. The rule for pieced quilting is that every line you draw must go all the way until it hits another line. So for the first couple of lines, they go all the way from one end of the photo to the other.

I just keep drawing until I get something like this.

Paint the Pieces with Color

I bring the outlines into Photoshop so I can paint each individual piece with a solid color that will match the (future) fabric. Sometimes posterizing can result in dark colors, so you have some creative liberty to make changes. Note that these are still just screen colors; the actual fabric will differ again.

Outlines:

Colored:

Number the Sewing Order

Paper piecing means that you sew through the paper and fabric. That way, you can be sure to place your seam perfectly.

Generally, in quilting, you want to sew a seam from one end to the other without running into any already sewn seams. For a traditional patchwork, this means you would sew 10 blocks, then sew a row of 5 blocks, and then sew another row of 5 blocks onto the first row.

Paper piecing is the same, but because no "block" is repeated, it's an exercise to determine the sewing order of each block, and then the sewing order of the blocks to each other.

A quilt like the Impala has a few hundred blocks of 1-15 pieces of fabric each. Within each block, the sewn size is near perfect. But sewing the blocks to each other introduces a lot of variability: the seams can be wider or narrower, or the alignment can be off. That's why the actual quilt looks "wonky" compared to the pattern. It's just not possible--for me--to get it perfect. If I didn't work so small, it would be easier.

Back in Illustrator:

You can see that the black lines are pieces within a block. The red lines are blocks. And the green lines are sections of blocks. It all needs to be sewn in order. I will make small changes to the sewing lines at this stage to "make it sewable."

Printing

Because printers aren't the best at replicating onscreen colors exactly (good luck telling the difference between black and dark purple), I have to recolor it to "printable" colors and then do a swatch concordance.

The bright green on the left actually represents lavender.

I print the pattern out on vellum, which is more durable than paper. Since this is 17" x 17", I will print out overlapping 8 1/2" x 11" sheets. Illustrator has a good printing function, so you can print the exact area you want.

Pick Fabric

I have collected a ridiculous amount of fabric. These want solids for the most part. Sometimes it's a challenge getting 5 shades of blue, or 6 beiges for their faces, so sometimes, I make color errors that I don't discover until later. Painful mistake. The above pattern uses 25 colors, but some of the faces use around 40.

Sew

This is a really challenging project. It would be easier if it were bigger! The pieces are so small, and when you start sewing blocks together, the layers get to be ridiculously thick with all the seam allowances. It's a true challenge to feed through the machine. Use a small stitch length; use a good machine with dual feed (Bernina!!! or maybe Pfaff).

Check out the back side of the previous Impala quilt.

I pull out the paper as I go, otherwise it will get accidentally sewn in.

Finishing

I don't do complicated quilting here. The piecing is what's on show! I embroidered the Chevrolet and the license plate lettering. Some things are really too small to piece.

Original Photo Again:

Conclusion

I think anyone could do this, in theory. It takes a lot of patience. And your sewing machine needs to be quality. And it helps to know how to use Photoshop and Illustrator. And you need to "get it" when numbering the pattern, in a mathematical way. And it's helpful owning all the fabric.

If you do try it, make a larger quilt; this size with this level of detail is crazy making.

Check out all my supernatural quilts on Instagram! https://www.instagram.com/catnipster69/

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 10: Wing Fic

After the Storm (The Meaning of Flying) | @cassiecasyl Rating: General Word Count: 1,132 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Canon Related, Angel Wings, Flying, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Fluff, Feelings, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, can be seen platonic, actually this is platonic, but definitely leading up to something, Dean Winchester Has Abandonment Issues, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Home Summary: The storm has ended and finally allows Castiel to fly again. The only shadow over his happiness is Dean fearing he might not come back.

After the Flight (The Meaning of Home) | @cassiecasyl Rating: General Word Count: 1,438 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Canon Related, Feels, Storm, Angel Wings, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Has Abandonment Issues, Home, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Poetic, Massage, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Dean Winchester is Castiel's Home, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Promises, Castiel Won't Leave Summary: Castiel's shoulders are tense after his first flight and Dean helps him out with a massage. Confessions and promises are made.

Hold Me in Your Wings | @tami-ryver Rating: General Word Count: 1,670 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cursed Dean Winchester, Winged Dean Winchester, Angel Wings, Wings, Sentient wings, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Human Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker (Supernatural), Alternate Angel Lore (Supernatural), HugsFluff Summary: Dean can see Sam stretch his hand forward as if he wants to touch. As he is about to allow it, his wings stiffen and pull away from Sam' hand. Dean looks at them, then at Sam. ,,I didn't do that."

Flower in Bloom | @tami-ryver Rating: General Word Count: 1,679 Main Tags/Warnings: Wingfic, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Seraph Castiel (Supernatural), Angel Wings, Wing Grooming, Molting Castiel (Supernatural), Wing Hugs, Pining Castiel (Supernatural), Pining Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Mutual Pining, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, Dean Winchester Can See Castiel's Wings, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, Light Angst, First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss Summary: Dean gasps, as now he can see them more closely. They are not only black, but they seem to shift colors from deep blue to black and dark purple. They open even more, and Dean stills when one of them comes closer to him, almost touching him. Dean inhales sharply when the soft feeling of feathers registers in his mind. They are so soft, but also so strong.

Like Flying | @Cmccle01 Rating: General Word Count: 2,355 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean, Sam, Castiel, Amara, Gabriel, Balthazar, Jack. (No warnings. It is a pretty clean story) Summary: Dean and Cas get what they deserve. and Jack smiles

Be Not Afraid | @envydean Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,075 Main Tags/Warnings: angel!cas, human!dean,Alternate Universe, angels as different species, Xenophilia, bottom!Dean, Top!Cas, Wings, Outdoor Sex, Anal Sex, Fluff and Smut, previous childhood meeting, Artist!Dean, dean is obsessive about angels Summary: Dean saw his first angel when he was ten years old. Ever since then, he's been on a self-serving mission to see one again. Sixteen years later, by luck — and lust — he finds the same angel again during mating season.

dressing down | @hornystiel Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,971 Main Tags/Warnings: Sharing Clothes, Possessive Behavior, Wing Kink, Wing Oil, Dick Jokes, D/s elements, Scents & Smells Summary: “Pick something and it’s yours.” Cas hesitantly touches each item, reverently rubbing the material between his long fingers. He trails the patterns, the band names, the sparkles. Dean follows his hands like they’ll show him all the secrets of the world.

The Hounds Of Love Are Hunting | @melancholictearz Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4,275 Main Tags/Warnings: AU - Ancient Greece, Fallen Deity!Castiel, Artemis Worshipper Priest!Dean, Prophecy, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Injured Cas, Dean Takes Care of Cas Summary: IS A STRANGER WORTH THE WRATH OF OLYMPUS? It is said that an experienced hunter shall meet the path of a fallen god. The mortal’s faith in the Goddess he worships must decide whether he kills his prey or shows mercy, and the Fates shall write the future accordingly; the divine entity will either die to the wounds of his fall or will perish as mortal. Dean worshipped the Goddess of Hunt, Artemis, for as long as he could remember. But when the prey that the Fates have chosen for him crashes into the field of the Artemis temple under his care, he doesn’t draw the feathery arrows from his quiver.

Falling Never Felt So Good | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,066 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 5, canon divergence, wing kink, winged Castiel, touch starving, shower sex Summary: Castiel is alive! After saving Dean and Sam from Zachary, Castiel reveals he's now a fallen angel and he should serve Dean as his loyal servant. But thinking about having an angel watching over you because he fell for you isn't worse than the consequences… Lucifer is out there trying to break mundane seals to get stronger, and the only way to stop him is through fallen angel and human bonds. If only strengthening Dean's bond with Castiel didn't include touching and kissing, things would be easier...

Say Yes | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 21,843 Main Tags/Warnings: Winged!Castiel, BAMF!Castiel, mutual pining, fluff, miscommunication, angst, wing kink, angelic grace kink, touch starving Summary: After evading the apocalypse, Heaven faces a new crisis. Without archangels and with an absent God, the angels will appeal to their last hope: to achieve a perfect bond between two of their own and thus generate the necessary energy to save Heaven. But when the first attempts fail, and everyone begins to lose hope, it's then that Castiel admits that he may have "accidentally" started a bonding ritual with Dean Winchester by bringing him out of Hell, and now the restoration of Heaven depends on a brave hunter agreeing to complete the bond with Castiel, a ritual full of enigmas and sensuality that will confront the angel and the human with their most hidden feelings.

[eri-pl]

Silm reread 24B (the long-expected continuation): the gifts

or: the Rings of Power & Third Age

Another Sauron recap. He was particularly dangerous because he could shapeshift. But as we've seen before, he was not the only servant of Morgoth who could do that, there were some unnabed others. I suppose sauron was just the best in this and/or most convincing.

After Morgoth's defeat he bowed to Eonwë. So yes, it is probably about the same time when M&M send the letter demanding the silmarils. As I noticed in the WoW chapter reread, they don't go themselves, but still, maybe their emissary could have bumped into Sauron. It would be interesting to see this in a fic.

Maybe Sauron meant it, maybe not, we are left without a clear answer. But he was too ashamed and humilated to go before Manwë and afraid of a long punishment. He was not even afraid that they'd throw him in the void too, just didn't want a long penance, becasue he liked having power. Yes, indeed, you took a lot after Idiot#1. :(

OK, so here we are told that the Eldar could return to Eressea or Valinor. Mixed canon again. But i like them being allowed back into Valinor.

Something something map, Elven kingdoms, the Gwaith-i-Mírdain were better jewelers than everyone except Fëanor. Cool.

Sauron intrigues among the elves for a long time. Also, he badmouths Elrond and Gil-galad. The usual "we can make this land as pretty as Valinor, but yours" spiel. I mean, yes, this works :(

The Rings, nothing new in the reread…

Imladris! It's build during the war of Elves and Sauron for the Rings.

Sauron put some of his malice into the 16 rings too. The seven were made of gold, if I read it correctly. Also, the Nine allow to see the unseen but Sauron can editwhat is seen.

Also, he is still able to look fair at this point, but he prefers to rule by terror. We've seen this pattern of behavioral change before. :(

Again, the people in the South and East are evil and worship Sauron :F

The wording in this chapter suggests that it was the Valar who destroyed Númenor, I guess we're in a different narrative frame?

(Who even gave the in-world editors the information of what actually happnned? Gandalf?)

Elendil&co arrive. The seven palantíri, we get a list of their locations. The palantíri allow seeing things distant in space and in time, most easily things happening near another seeing stone.

Sauron is sitting in the darkness, thinking (Fic potential: what is he thinking about? He just has gotten a full-on divine punishment out of the blue. He's got a lot to think about.) until he makes a new form for himself. Aaaand no, the thinking did not work, he puts on his ring and here we go again.

We get the names of two important evil Númenoreans (but not necessarily the ones with rings).

The Last Alliance (yes, the whole army!) spends some time in Imladris. (Fic potential!!!) They are compared to the army of the West during the War of Wrath. There's a big battle. Fun fact: all the animals split so that every army has some of each species. I really wonder why? what worldbuilding or literary goal does this sentence serve? It seems so random.

They besiege Mordor for seven years. Again, important nmbers are important.

Third Age begins. Mordor is guarded, kind like Angband had been in FA.

Things happen, Isildur dies, what is it with broken swords "loosing their sheen"? First Anglachel and now Narsil. Does it just mean it became dull for some reason? What is it?

Also, Elrond does prophecies. Cool. Well, ok, he does one prophecy but still.

Eärnur, the last king of Gondor had clearly read too much about Fingolfin. And not enough about Maedhros. Protip: when Sauron challenges you to a duel, he is not going to duel you. Just to capture you. And nobody knows what happenned to him. Fic potential. But dark. :(

Also, does Sauron have a checklist with a neat header "things Melkor had done" and just goes along it???

So, Imladris. Elrond lived there for the whole TA, along with many wise beings of various kinds. Which, i think, implies Dwarves, Men (of course), and maybe an Entwife. And likely something I forgot about. also the remaining Noldor generally live there and in Grey Havens.

The fact that Elrond and Galadriel have Elven Rings is not spoken about but most Elves figured it out from the observable clues.

Also, Rivendell is described as a place "above which the stars shine brightest" XD

We get an info about the Istari, it's the version where Saruman arrives first. Also, I forgot that, but Saruman spent a lot of time with Men. He was less of a loner than I remembered.

Also, we are told that he best knew Sauron's earlier deeds. Huh. Did he study them or what? This makes the "Saruman envied Sauron from very early on" idea more likely.

Gandalf ran away from Dol Guldur. It made 100% sense, but still kind of funny. Elrond seems to have better foresight than Gandalf, at least when it comes to figuring out that Saruman is wrong. Makes sense.

"A strange chance" XD Sure Elrond you can't see it, Men are often fuzzy with fate (and Hobbits are Men), and I guess Gandalf's logic is "OK, this can't end that bad, but I can't see a way either, therefore it must lean on one of the elements which I do not see well". He is wise. (Not that Elrond isn't.) and further we get recap of LotR but from the backstage.

Aragorn is 39th heir of Isildur… which means he's 40th of Elendil. And he is very much like Elendil. So 40 is the number to look at here, not 39.

Well, ok, 39 in the sense of "let's recontextualize this number and the concept of Dúnedain form Pharazôn's madness to something good." But I'm not sure Tolkien enjoyed the idea of recontextualization. so maybe it's just "39 looks cool because 3 and 9 and also I want to say he was 40th after Elendil but I don't want it to look like a blatant ripoff".

The last Noldor sailed, so you may argue about Maglor here.

And the book ends.

[abarbaricyalp]

Something to Hold Onto

Rated E // 3.3k words // AO3 // y'all all got thirsty over SebStan's long hair, so I figured Sam would do the same with Bucky

It had been months since Sam had seen Bucky. Other than the occasional text, or the ever aggravating and endearing note left in their kitchen, they'd barely even spoken since the world's bitchiest woman with way too many names showed up in the middle of a late breakfast with a pardon-dependent order for Bucky to work for her.

Sam tried to investigate on his own, but it’s not like he had much time. Despite both of them working out of DC, getting orders from the same organizations, Sam felt like every attempt to get more information on the so-called 'Thunderbolts' had been met with a brick wall. It has something to do with Thaddeus Ross, was the only full sentence anyone would say. Information which made the name even more irritating.

It also made Sam's stomach turn over in knots. Because Bucky under Ross' thumb, Ross with that thumb over a button that could yank Bucky's pardon away, was asking for trouble. Sam didn't like Ross. Steve hadn't liked Ross. So Bucky obviously didn't like him either. And Ross couldn't be trusted with the command of a soldier like Bucky. Sam was sure Ross referred to him as the Winter Soldier still. That’s all he’d want out of Bucky.

Bucky's notes were as lively as Sam could hope for. He left flowers now and then. There  were grease stains in the pattern of Bucky's long fingers once. No blood. And his texts were coherent and neat. Sam knew from experience that Bucky’s words got shorter and more unintelligible if he was hurt or upset.

Still, Sam was supremely jealous that maybe Bucky got to see him on TV. Captain America had to give interviews and everyone filmed daring rescues and gossip shows talked about every picture of him. Sam, on the other hand, was working with nothing. He rarely even knew where Bucky was–the only hint ever being how he signed off a letter or a text in a different language. And that was usually after the fact. 

Sam was worried. And he was angry. But he was also pouting. Below all the big, intense superhero things, when he stripped away the bureaucratic bullshit and removed the danger of this kind of arrangement, at the end of it all, he just desperately missed his partner. He hated living in a house alone. He hated not being in the house when he had to be in DC. He wanted Bucky's opinions on reforming the Avengers and he really wanted his help training and wrangling a bunch of teenagers who suddenly came out of the woodwork with powers. He didn't want to be cooking for one again. He missed being able to talk about TV with someone. His heart broke when the boys asked where Bucky was and even Sarah had started to shoot him worried glances when she thought he couldn't see.

It was a lot to deal with. And he knew he was being a pain at this gala event because he could feel frown lines digging in around his mouth and no one had asked for a picture in an hour. To be fair to himself, the woman with sixteen names was here and there was really no saving his mood after seeing her. Thankfully, she hadn't tried to talk to him this time. The last time they ran into each other, she had grabbed his bicep while saying something undercutting and mean and he had genuinely sneered at her. Sam Wilson didn't sneer. He could count the other times he had on one hand, and probably none of them involved people. But he couldn't help it around her.

The event was something to do with the formation of a new organization that was supposed to help young powered individuals. Something had shifted in the world in the last ten years, between everything ending and then coming back. Homo-Superior became a phrase Sam had to learn. Aliens co-existed (and co-populated) with humans. Multiverses. Every day, there seemed to be new fallout from old battles. Kids who trained themselves, kids who were exposed to some material that affected them, kids who picked up artifacts they shouldn't have. Half of the new semi-Avengers weren't even out of college. Or younger.

Pepper had been part of this, so Sam trusted it. He and Stark didn't see eye to eye often, but Pepper had honored Stark's memory and legacy in a way that surpassed what was already there. He kept a wary eye on alphabet soup officials, but no one particularly bad, aside from the obvious, seemed to be around.

There were other heroes. Faces Sam recognized and friends he missed. Barton was around and Sam had almost melted in relief to see him. Pepper, of course. A few others he recognized from the news but hadn't met yet. He had been introduced to a few at the beginning of the evening but the trend had trickled off as the night wore on and heroes lost their handlers. Funny how, even at something like this, people wanted heroes controlled. 

It wasn't until he saw Belova that something finally clicked in his brain. The woman with 64 names wouldn't just be here by herself. She took her new menagerie with her everywhere. Sam just about spun on his heel to figure out where Belova had come from and found the rest of her team standing a little awkwardly by the door. Except for the one who wasn't.

Bucky was striding after Belova, calling after her under his breath. Sam couldn't hear him but he knew exactly what he sounded like–the quiet, irritated hiss of his words, the way he'd press his lips together and clench his jaw. Sam had been on the other side of it often.

He looked good. Actually, he looked amazing. He'd filled out again and was wearing a suit Sam had never seen. It fit him snugly and clung to all the new-old muscles of his legs and his chest and his arms and his ass. At first, Sam thought the suit was black but then Bucky stepped under a sconce and Sam realized it was a dark burgundy velvet with black silk lapels. He was wearing a black turtleneck under it, which he kept yanking away from his throat. Which, yeah. Sam wasn't sure who dressed him, but Bucky hated most things touching his neck. But, damn if it wasn't a pretty look. His beard had come in, full and kempt. And his hair.

Sam liked the short hair. It made Bucky look boyish and charming, took off decades worth of suffering. And it had been a whole part of him regaining his own autonomy and getting used to his reflection again. It was clean and fluffy and it curled on the really humid days. Sam's fingers fit right into it short. There was always a little downy at the base of his neck that, when Sam played with it, could put Bucky right out like warm milk.

His hair was not short right now. It was long enough that he had it wrapped in a neat bun on the back of his head. Pieces fluttered around his face, which seemed to be aggravating him as much as the turtleneck. He didn't have a bunch of product in it–a miracle, honestly–and Sam just wanted to put his fingers through it. Pull out the ponytail holder and massage away the tension of having it tied back.

Bucky caught Belova’s wrist and she barely even reacted. She just gestured across the room and Sam watched Bucky’s eyes snap up towards him. It felt like a physical crash when their gazes met and Sam watched Bucky forget about keeping Belova in line–as if that was possible–in favor of crossing the room towards Sam. Sam had prepared himself for a real collision, but Bucky came up short just before his hands could land on Sam’s waist.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in a far softer way than Sam was expecting.

“Man, I should be asking you that. Where have you been?” Sam asked. He had less self control than Bucky, and he reached for Bucky’s suit coat to drag him closer. At that point, Bucky broke too and wrapped Sam so tightly in his arms, Sam actually lost breath. Still, he just pressed his face against Bucky’s shoulder, pressed his cheek against the coolness of the metal that was coming through his suit. “God, I’ve missed you,” he sighed.

“Not the way I’ve missed you,” Bucky answered and held him tighter. He put his face against the top of Sam’s head, took a deep breath that tickled Sam’s scalp, and just stood there. “Do you know how hard it is to know exactly where you are but not be able to go to you?”

The words sent a deeply possessive, needy shiver through Sam. “We’re both here now,” he breathed. He found Bucky’s elbows, stepped away just enough to hold onto him. “Come on, let’s make the most of it before one of us has to disappear again.”

Continue on AO3

[nhaneh]

You ever thought about why these generative "AI" models have such a propensity towards plagiarism?

Obviously there's one half of it that's basically just down to that it's what a lot of their users are explicitly using them for - they want something that explicitly looks, or sounds, or otherwise appears at least superficially to be in the style of another thing. But there's also an underlying problem at the heart of these models that's basically about understanding - or specifically, the lack of thereof.

When you ask a person to mimic someone or something, they tend to go about doing that by trying to figure out what it is about that particular person or style that's noteworthy, how those things are achieved, and then how they themselves might approximate that given the tools and expertise available to them. You try to identify a pattern, or a series of patterns, and then figure out how to replicate those patterns within your own skillset.

The problem with generative "AI" is that it only does the first half.

See, the thing with stuff like Large Language Models and similar is that they're basically patterned on a rather simplified model of how human learning works - you have a kind of simulated neural network that processes data and builds internal models of how various elements relate or interconnect to each other not all that dissimilar from how our own brains do. The big, huge, really important difference is that the models we build incorporate this nebulous little concept called meaning.

I've made this example before but, consider my cat. My cat is, in my estimation, likely of fairly regular levels of feline intelligence - meaning she has but a single braincell that is sometimes capable of unbelievable acts of apparent intellect and at all other times is only slightly smarter than a fence post. But, the important thing for this example: my cat knows what a door is.

Consider that for a moment: my cat can not only visually recognise a common group of sometimes quite disparate objects as all being roughly The Same Thing™, but, more importantly, she knows that if an object looks like a door, it can probably be opened. There is probably something on the other side. She might be able to either open the door, or enlist a human to open the door for her.

And again, "AI" only does the first half: you can train them to recognise doors, and quite easily at that, but they don't infer any kind of meaning from it - they can match images of doors to a statistical model, but they can't do anything with that model other than looking for things that match it. There's no introspective model to consider what it means for a match to be a match, no thinking about the context in which matches are found and what it might mean to find a match in an unexpected place or situation... and I mean, thank fuck for that because none of these corporations are at all capable of even a fraction of the amount of responsibility necessary to be allowed access to the on-off switch of a potentially sapient emergent entity.

But basically, this is why they indulge in so much obvious plagiarism: without the ability to comprehend meaning, no detail is more important than the other, the presence of a black pixel in the top left corner can be just as important a detail as what a finger tends to look like - they don't generate things based on an understanding of what is asked of them, they generate based on what is statistically associated with the prompts they're given, no matter what those associations are or what they're like. It's why "text" in "AI" art looks the way it does: it's a statistical representation of what lettering looks like by something that lacks the ability to comprehend meaning - it replicates the shapes and forms, the flows and designs, but fails to recognise any of the symbols as individual objects with distinct meaning.

It's basically what learning without understanding looks like - the ability to find patterns without the ability to infer meaning from those patterns. It's finding faces in the clouds without ever knowing what a face is.

And of course, at the end of the day, the problem with generative "AI" is not actually generative "AI" at all - it's that a bunch of rich assholes with way too much money and power in society think they can, and should, just replace the rest of us with mindless automatons.

[dia-smthidk]

More things in depth just cuz.

I’d say for the overall, think of what you’re going to do, and how you think others will react, and than act on that. Such as, you probably wouldn’t want to be seen as the super good person, especially if there’s other mafias or organized crime of sorts around, than you might just get targeted by others, even if it makes average people think you’re just a nice great person. If you can, make as few enemies as possible, after all, you can’t go it alone. For example, yet again, a game. Sometimes you need to partner up with other players. Even if you have a strong group, if another one is stronger and has reason to, they might take you down, or you’d have to watch out for them.

And just over all, you need to trick others, like how I said before that you should almost direct people’s attention to specific things, such as, Jeffery. Jeffery is seen as a little defenseless easily kidnappable baby, if I’d have to say from the perspective of this world, someone might kidnap him to go against you, but in reality that’s a good thing in a way, since, well… for those of us that know Jeffery, he can handle himself. Almost like that, make people think what isn’t true, or make them think of a half lie. Don’t always lie, that only causes distrust, people will realize patterns, they will realize what you do or don’t do. After all, it’s a business. Not a fun little book club. People pay attention to things that have to do with them, so I guess mostly, it is situational. I’d suggest that most forms of communication between members be discrete but encoded at the same time, so that someone could be looking at one thing, and another person who knows the code is looking at the same thing, but seeing an entire different meaning to the message. Such as how once in character ai for example, I was doing a mha one and friends with Shigaraki, we would send each other letters, and I said we should encrypt them, so that no one would find out we knew one another, and even use a fake address and shipping and all that. I used a statement of ‘training went bad’ as if to say ‘they don’t suspect a thing’, or ‘training was good’ to say that they did suspect a thing, since it’s also the opposite message in a way. A positive being a negative, and a negative being a positive. Maybe phrases or words, or I’m just thinking too much lol

Also intimidation? Definitely a thing you need, but just remember that you can’t hold down too tight onto what people in your organization can or can’t do, because when people are pushed to a certain point, they rebel, that’s why you need the perfect mix of fear and respect, I suppose. Than again, that goes in an overall standpoint. Overall? You need to think five steps ahead, you need to know what is going on, how it will happen, what way you act to certain people, all that ✨Jazz✨

Eh I might go to bed now

yes yes you go mimir

whilst I later on once I need to go to bed will be reading all of this

[random-iz-stuff]

Hiii!!

How do you think each letter on the irken alphabet sounds like? I have thought about it but they sound too similar to normal letters.

I think each letter of the Irken alphabet would have a very short and rough sound to it, just like most Irken words. For example, names like Zim, Tak, Larb, Poki and Red are traditional Irken names and they’re very short and rough sounding. Longer words and names like Skoodge, Gashloog and Rarl Kove exist, but they still have a rough sound to them and aren’t as common.

(I’m not including Purple, Miyuki or Sizz-Lorr as Irken names because I headcanon that all three of them changed their names in the past, Purple changing his name to match his eye colour (meaning that it’s translated to English whenever we hear it (“Red” however, is both an Irken name AND the Irken word for the color red, so it isn’t translated)), Sizz-Lorr being a traditional Vortian name (just compare it to a name like Lard-Nar) and Miyuki being a name that’s not traditionally Irken or Vortian, being something completely different.)

And I think the Irken alphabet would follow the same sort of rules. Very rough and short pronunciations with only a few longer and smoother sounding letters.

And that’s without bringing up the non-human noises that make up the Irken alphabet, as it has 48 letters while English has 24. Those extra 24 letters are made up of hisses, clicks, chirps and other noises that humans just can’t make. These extra letters also follow the Irken alphabet pattern of sounding very short and rough with only a few exceptions.

Also while I’m on the subject because I don’t know when I’ll get to bring this up again, accents don’t exist for irkens the same way they exist for humans. Because on Earth, accents are usually dependent on location and where the speaker came from, while on Irk, accents are used for gender presentation and have nothing to do with location or anything like that. (Important because Irkens are all biologically genderless and presentation is the only thing differentiating between genders).

American accents are considered to be masculine sounding and are mostly used by Irkens presenting as male, British accents considered to be feminine and are mostly used by Irkens presenting as female, and all other accents are presumably used for androgynous and non-binary gender presentation.

[cerealmonster15]

HELLO. YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS !! IT IS GAME TIME !!!

This quiz is very simple :) you shouldn't have any problems with it :) it's just their names after all !!!! Tell me which character each name is 😊

Admittedly though, taking this chance to study up on them myself bc even though I play on the JP server, I only recognize a couple of these 😭

カリム・アルアジーム

ルーク・ハント

ジャック・ハウル

ジャミル・バイパー

フロイド・リーチ

リリア・ヴァンルージュ

ジェイド・リーチ

ラギー・ブッチ

リドル・ローズハート

トレイ・クローバー

アズール・アーシェングロット

エース・トラッポラ

シルバー

マレウス・ドラコニア

オルト・シュラウド

エペル・フェルミエ

デュース・スペード

ケイト・ダイヤモンド

イデア・シュラウド

セベク・ジグボルト

レオナ・キングスカラー

ヴィル・シェーンハイト

excuse me. Oh my god.

see if you had asked me these back in like, late 2020/early 2021 i maybe wouldve done slightly better than im about to do bc the only way i could ever find twst fanart back then was by constantly copy pasting their names into pixiv bc there wasnt much of an english fanbase at the time... virtually none on tumblr... but i havent done it much recently- i did a few days ago [from when u initially sent this LOL] but it's nothing compared to when i did it like, DAILY jklfdsjklfds

at least. at least silver is a freebie LOL

umm. Ok this one both first and last name end in ム but I don’t know what ム is 🤔 I think this is gonna be Kalim or ruggie. The ム is probably either -im or -ie bc they’re the only ones left that have names that have that pattern… going with KALIM bc I have another guess later for ruggie

uhh. god i remember the dashes in some of these names specifically tripping me up when i was learning how ship names worked LOL. Mmmm I think it’s either gonna be rook or vil bc the name is short and snappy and written similar to Ace (I think. Maybe I got fucked on the Ace guess bddbcbfbf) but the last name seems shorter which makes me wanna think it’s rook? The last names both end in the T/-to sound…. ト you are Everywhere…. OH but I think it’s ROOK HUNT bc the next one I said is Jack howl and both of the last names for those two start with ハ so maybe that’s a hhhhhh sound??? Rook bb is that you???

Backwards process of elimination from 7 and 4, I think this one is JACK HOWL

i think this one might be azul or jamil but idr which LOL. i mean it looks too long to be either of them BUT im almost positive that triple line thing was in there when i looked up azujami LOL and i dont see it anywhere else so umm. idk jamil maybe??? unless i recognize that one for a different name and remember wrong sfjdsklfjd. Ok yes I think it’s Jamil bc of my same reasoning for #7

leech. Floyd?

Liiiilia? Going off ア at the end of probably idia matching here. Lilia please do not bamboozle me AGAIN

leech. Jade? I was back and forth for a while but since three characters start with the Ja- sound and there are three names with that same character at the start… I think this is Jade.

Ummm. R-ruggie. Maybe. Going on yet another limb bc it ends in チ and the only other names that end in that are leech, so maybe bucci’s ch sound matches??

A bit of a stretch guess but I’m gonna say riddle? For the same ド reasoning i say in 17; riddle has that -do sound near the end of his name but I feel like there’s an extra sound thing after it. Specifically when trey screams his name in book 1 but I can’t really remember LOL. But the last name also has ト… -to… rosehearts… rosehear-to….

trey or cater. i think trey.

Doing another stretch guess and saying azul, bc he’s the only one with same letter for both his initials and this one has a same character at the start of both. I am hesitant bc az and ash I would think might be different? But I can’t think of anyone else that would have a similar start 🤔 and the length of names looks possible. And by that logic, ト at the end might be the -to sound, which does line up with the to- for like trey’s name. Idk how it’s actually spelled but when I mumble it to myself that’s what it sounds like hdjfjfngng

Ace I think, with the ト in tr- appola to match tr-ey and ashengrot-to… which I mean in English maybe doesn’t match but I think I’m Japanese spelling/pronunciation they are??? Also this one looked familiar from my pixiv days and I couldn’t place it, but I think the A for a-deuce is what I’m remembering LOL

SILVER

Malleus? The ア at the end of maybe draconia matches the -ia for maybe idia and lilia

idia or ortho. I think ortho once again bc of the ト -to sound??

PROCESS OF ELIMINATION YOU WERE THE LAST ONE LEFT. EPEL???

Deuce? Bc names like Jade, Floyd, Diamond, and shroud all have the ド at the end, and spade should have one too I think 🤔 beloved juice spade please don’t fail me now 🙏

cater or trey. i think cater.

idia or ortho. Going with idia bc I decided the other is ortho probably….. ooh and his and lilia’s names mmmmmaybe would end the same? Possibly???

Ok this one and 22 last names both end in ト, that -to sound, and all I have left are Leona vil Epel and sebek, so this one has to be either Schoenheit or Zigvolt… I’m going to completely guess and say this one is SEBEK. bc of the two this name looks less familiar to me and I k ow I used to look up several vil ships on pixiv LOL. also the last name looks shorter. So I think sebek

Ok down to Epel or Leona. I’m going with Leona tho bc it’s Slightly Longer than #16 AND bc silver and Probably Viper both end in the same dash and I think phonetically they sound more like -ar??

Reasoning for 20, I’m saying vil 🤔

LAYS FACE DOWN ON THE GROUND. DO UR WORST WHATS MY GRADE ☠️

[khanyisile-2]

Reflecting on the learnings from the “Silver Lining Playbook” movie and its influence as an occupational therapy student

"Silver Linings Playbook" is a movie directed by David O. Russell in 2012, that tells the story of people who are dealing with their mental health issues and how they found healing/ coping strategies/ recovery during their journey. In this blog, I will be discussing what the movie talks about, occupational barriers that were faced by the character, what the student therapist learned from the movie, and how it influenced the student as an OT student.

Pat is the main character in the movie, and he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His features observed during the move include poor frustration tolerance, anger issues, psychomotor activation, and mood swings. Pat married Nikki, and symptoms that triggered him include hearing someone playing their wedding music and the thought of his wife cheating. He's trying very hard to get better and be happy again after a difficult period, as he was physically active and has friends. He meets a woman named Tiffany, who has her own difficulties as she was grieving the death of her husband, which has left her with deep emotional pain and a sense of loss. She also struggles with impulsive behavior. The movie is about how they help each other and find hope and happiness, even when things are not going well.

At the beginning of the movie, the client was non-compliant with health management, specifically medication. He pretended to swallow them but actually spit them out once he moved away from professional help. Pat wasn’t working as he lost his job and struggled to find one due to his mental health challenges. Pat neglected self-care, such as grooming as he was unkempt and untidy at the beginning of the movie. He was always wearing the same clothes and was disoriented as he was wearing a jersey even when it was hot, and even when jogging. Pat was wearing the black plastic bag on top of the jersey even when it was hot and jogging. His rest and sleep patterns were disrupted; sometimes he would go out at night, visit friends like Tiffany, and even jog in the dark. One night, he woke his parents at 3 a.m. and searched for his wedding video. In terms of leisure activity, the was an occupational imbalance as he was only participating in jogging not in other activities. Throughout the movie, these challenges are evident, showing his struggles with daily life due to his mental health issues.

I have learned a lot from watching how Pat goes through his struggles in the movie. What's important in the movie is that it shows how having hope is important when you're dealing with mental health issues. According to the picture above, hope is a big idea, meaning believing that things can get better, even when life is really hard (Lesoned, 2020). Pat in the movie never gives up on hope, even when things are tough for him because of his mental health. In the movie, Pat believes can be together with his wife by writing letters to her, expressing his love and regret. He was hoping that, by being sincere, she might consider getting back together with him. He also finds hope and support in his new friend Tiffany.

The OT student also learns that finding activities that the client is interested in can make a big difference to the client. In addition, having supportive friends and family plays a huge role in the client's life and in the recovery process. For instance, in the movie, Pat starts to be friends with Tiffany, and they start dancing in the local competition, and this makes a big difference in Pat's life. He was unable to control his symptoms of bipolar disorder at the beginning of the movie. however, as they won the dancing competition which helped him to channel his hyperactivity, and improve the occupational barrier that he was experiencing. Also, I learned the importance of teaching the client coping strategies to prevent relapse before discharging the client, as Pat at home was behaving in an inappropriate manner.

 Silver Linings Playbook" is not just a great movie, but it tells a story that teaches us important things about hope, constructive use of leisure time, and a support system. As an OT student, this movie reminded me of the most important ideas in my field, like teaching the client coping strategies to prevent relapse. After watching this movie, I feel even more committed to my studies and helping people who are dealing with mental health challenges. It has made me understand better how occupational therapy can make people's lives better when they're facing these difficulties.

Referencing

lesoned. (2020, June 12). Motivational Quotes About Life Being so Hard to get you Through a Difficult Time. Lesoned. https://lesoned.com/life-is-hard-quotes/

2. Watch Silver Linings Playbook (2012). (n.d.). Ww1.Goojara.to. https://ww1.goojara.to/mmwJl8

[selfmayhemnights]

hi.

i know, i know. you’re probably thinking what the hell happened now that i’ve resorted to talking to you again. well, let me tell you. a lot. the late months of last year was a misery and the early years of ‘23 was a series of i don’t know and this is surprisingly fun.

one thing’s for sure and consistent, yep, you guessed it. i fell in love with someone i cannot have, again. don’t laugh. please. the universe already made the fool out of me.

i want to tell you everything, i’m just not sure where to start. do you want to know what happened about the person i fell in love with last year? it was a misery. everyone in the office knew about it and sided with him. as they should, it was my fault and i can’t blame them. but that point in my life is probably one of the biggest drive for me to control my alcohol consumption. i lost couple of people during that time, some bridges were reconnected later on but some completely fell off.

but we’re good now and i can see better now. he wasn’t really that good of a person either, especially to me. but we both moved on from what happened, and we’re both careful with each other this time. and i think that’s the best thing for us.

i met somebody new recently and i want to pursue his love. he’s different from the rest, physically and personality wise. he’s completely out and can be as feminine as me, which usually is a deal breaker. i’m surprised too. but he’s nice, easy to get along with, and most especially he has goals. i like that in a person apparently. i want to be with someone who has plans in life. someone who wants to be stable in the future.

but then again, i seem to have a problem being with the people that i like.

i feel something for them but they don’t feel the same way for me. he’s open to just being friends though, that’s what they always say (and then end up being in an awkward situation for a period of time, pft, men).

to be fair, he’s already seeing someone since two months ago and they’re living together now. and i fully respect that. convincing him to allow me would be cheating and too cruel. i don’t want that. his partner seems nice too.

you know, this is probably the most determined i’ve ever been. sure he’s not comfortable with the idea of me pursuing but that doesn’t mean i won’t wait. surprised? yeah, me too.

but i’m not going to wish ill on them. i’ll wait, and if the universe finally had enough of me, maybe, just maybe, i get to be with him. i’d like to know more about him, he’s very interesting. he’s a student leader and an academic achiever. do you see a pattern of the people that i like? i think i do.

i still have time to know more about him. maybe trusting the process works and maybe showing him that i am eager and willing to wait would be rewarded someday. maybe starting off as friends and not being impatient is the right way. fingers crossed.

this is probably the longest letter i’ve done. you’ll be hearing more from me often. promise. i think things are much safer with you. i don’t like talking to people anymore about stuff like this, i feel like someone’s going to jinx it.

i’ll talk to you soon. off to bed!

[justana0kguy]

2023 JUNE 12 (PH Independence) Monday

GAMON 1'23 #3 ~ Patience, my love

Quarrels of late with the people I love have once again brought up long kept issues I've had with circumstances in the past, to which I've tried (and failed) many times to be more patient than I would like. More often than not, I'd find myself losing patience especially when the crux of the problem is one that we had encountered before and had supposedly addressed, or worse, didn't even bother to.

I am the type of person who fully commits to a person when I love them, and not just during moments when the feelings are at their happiest or the circumstances are at their easiest, but also through the times when it's not because I understand that it's not always going to be that way and that doesn't change how I feel for that person. Which is why a big part of the way I think and the way I love is influenced by looking towards the future that I am fighting for.

Many times that involves looking at the root cause of common (recurring) issues in the relationship, be it from incidental misunderstandings or personal differences, and giving the time and effort required to fix or mitigate these core problems so that we can better handle similar situations in the future. But I've found that most people (even the ones I love) do not give the same importance or see the same benefits and it leaves me frustrated many times, especially when the problem rears its ugly but familiar face time and time again.

And the worst part is when they can't seem to recognize similar patterns in problems nor understand the reason why I get frustrated, even when we may have already spoken or resolved these issues in the past. Granting that having done that doesn't mean that it won't happen again, but causing it to happen and to not even be aware that this is something we've been over with tells me that they either don't care or weren't really listening or paying attention anyway.

But now the question becomes, if we really love a person, and if our love is inspired by the one true love that God has shown and demonstrated for us, and follows the very first line as defined by Paul in the famous part of his letter to the Corinthians: "Love is Patient..." ~1 Corinthians 13:4, shouldn't we be always patient enough to still not be frustrated at that person no matter how much they don't care or how many times they don't listen?

And that in the end is what I want to challenge myself with starting today, which I have to practice and commit to each and every day. To exercise the kind of patience that is rooted in love, empowered by love, for the sake of love, and only in love; not with any other motivation such as hoping (or guilt-tripping them so) that they will eventually change or correct their ways.

I want to be patient because of my love for that person, which should include an acceptance of who they are as a whole, regardless of what they do (or fail to) because what I failed to mention so far but I accept as a fact is that I too am only human and have more than my share of shortcomings towards the ones I love. I too, intentionally or not, have made them feel like I'm not listening or just don't care.

In the same way that God loved all of us and continues to be patient with us even if we are unworthy, so should my patience not be counted as a benefit to give only to those who I think are deserving according to my standards, but share it completely and wholeheartedly as a kindness to the people I love because that is how love and patience should be according to God's standards.

And so I call myself to the higher standard of being more patient with the ones I love, knowing that I am equally imperfect and problematic, and yet still receives the grace of true love and patience from God. I know it's not going to be easy (hard headed as I am) but I'm going to give it my best day by day, moment by moment, clear and confident in my intent that it's not for me but for God and for the ones I love. And if I fail, I'll try and be more patient with myself too.

[the-new-hip-priest]

And she screamed out, kicking on her side, and said "I've lost control again"

I haven’t properly listened to Joy Division in a long time. I was going to say it’s because I haven’t felt this bleak in an equally long time, but that’s not true at all. I know in myself that I’m not happy. We’ve gotta do this one the long way, so bear with me before I inevitably delete this out of embarrassment.  I’ve spent the vast majority of my life trying to coexist with the constant noise in my head. It made itself known in early childhood and grew up alongside me. It wasn’t until my late teens that I discovered that this isn’t a universal experience and that most people have relatively quiet minds - an inner monologue wherein some negative feelings make themselves known and linger about, but certainly not to the point of interfering with day-to-day functioning. I always likened the inside of my brain to a bunch of radios set to different stations, all trying to drown each other out. It’s tricky to practice mindfulness while simultaneously trying to process (yet ignore at the same time?) the Party Boy Theme from Jackass, half of the chorus of “Do Ya Wanna Taste It?”, a vicious voice that is forever cutting me down and listing reasons why I’m a stupid useless cunt, the repeated phrase ‘the pheasant has no agenda’, a constant babbling whisper that insists things will never get any better, a family member’s voice belittling me and being cruel, Homer saying “Quit jivin’ me, turkey”, and then my actual thoughts.  It was very loud but I got very good at picking out my own real thoughts and questioning them. Gotta become aware of your automatic thinking patterns and whatnot. At some point, two key things happened in my life: I got an autism diagnosis, and I was prescribed lamotrigine for other issues. Things finally started to make sense and as time went on the noises began to fade out. There was a good period wherein I stopped drinking and went to the gym multiple days a week. I was feeling strong and looking good. Then I had to drop out of my diploma course and I started drinking again. Swings and roundabouts. Finally, I got a job - the last puzzle piece, the missing ingredient, the cherry on top! I had spent half of my fucking life struggling towards this achievement and...! And... ?! And now I’m a fat, miserable drunk with a steady income. I am not, by any means, turning my nose up at the poverty I escaped. I just recognise that I don’t feel any happier. I still don’t have goals or aspirations. I am simply tired. Tired, and always a little drunk. I don’t want to be here. I don’t understand why I am still here. I don’t hear all the noise any more because I’m too drunk to pay any notice. I can no longer focus on the individual thoughts, just the bad feelings. I realise now that I need that noise. I need to know what I’m actually thinking because otherwise I can’t address it and make positive changes. These days my head just buzzes and feels slightly off-kilter for obvious reasons. A bug zapper that instantly kills any self-awareness. I don’t have proper ‘thoughts’. I don’t self-monologue and explain things to myself. I don’t write, neither here nor in my journals. I just keep drinking and drowning these distant feelings. It’s like so much is wrong and bad that it’s all congealed together and I can’t break it down and analyze things. It’s this growing, pulsating mountain of negativity, like a fatberg in the sewers beneath London. I think I miss the noise. The noises taught me. The noises were harsh and cruel but illuminated the way forward. Now I’m merely deaf, blind, and dumb. I know that somuchiswrong! but I don’t have the clarity to make any of it right.  My psychologist was meant to write a letter to my new GP that explained my history with ~trauma and alcoholism~ so that I didn’t have to explain my entire personal history to a stranger all over again. I only put the tildes because I feel like the hardship and trauma I have experienced isn’t directly correlated to why I drink in the present. ANYWAY, that letter hasn’t been sent which means I can’t start Antabuse or similar treatment (valium is well-documented in my patient history to treat alcohol withdrawal but I highly doubt I’ll be able to get any this time around. My old GP was with me through everything, but my new one is, well, new. She has no idea what I’ve been through because nearly a decade of my patient history has been lost). I’m also waiting for a plan to be approved so I can get a rebate on the odd occasion when I can see my psychologist, because otherwise it’s about $200 out of pocket and I can’t afford that. These roadblocks have truly worn me to dust. I broke my phone this morning, too. Fucking expensive mistake, that one.  EUUUUGHHHHH. I don’t know. I’ll likely delete this later. I just had to get the shit out of my head. 

[karendlipton23]

Super Simple Songs Bedtime Livestream | Kids Nap Songs | Super Simple Songs

How to Teach Your Kids to Read – The Best Way For Kids to Learn English

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How to Teach Your Kids to Read – The Best Way For Kids to Learn English

Learning to read is one of the most important skills a kid can learn. It is a skill that will help him become a productive member of society. Developing this skill takes a lot of practice. However, there are many things you can do to make it easier.

First, you’ll want to have your child learn the basic phonics skills that will enable him to read fluently. Phonics is the skill of learning to blend and break down words. This skill can also help your kid spell better. You can teach your child these skills by using a systematic phonics-based reading program.

Another way to teach your child to read is to use a whole language approach. These approaches encourage your child to think about the stories they read and to use the pictures to figure out what they mean. The techniques used by these methods are not suited for children with dyslexia, but they will help most kids develop a love for reading and improve their literacy skills.

To make the process as fun and natural as possible, you should give your kid a variety of books to read. Choose a mix of easy and challenging books. Start with the easier ones, and work your way up to harder ones. Make sure to let your kid choose what he’s reading. If your child has a good grasp of the English language, he’ll likely be interested in the topics and characters in the book.

One way to engage your kid in the reading process is to ask him to write something. Many preschools have special activities where children write letters with Play Doh or sand. Others have letters on magnets.

Kids will also benefit from watching their parents or teachers read aloud. Reading aloud introduces ideas and concepts and helps to create a more natural flow in the way you read. When you read a story, it’s good to use different voices for the characters.

In addition, you can re-read books. Children enjoy revisiting stories. They can read the same story a second time and remember more details. Rereading will also help your kid develop a deeper understanding of the words he has already learned. Ask your kid to re-read the book again, and make sure to discuss the story and the characters as you go along.

You may also want to play a game. For instance, you can give your kid a list of five words he does not recognize. As you read each word, he can trace it on the page. By doing this, he will be able to practice recognizing the pattern in the words.

The rhyming of a song is a great example of a rhyming poem. You can also teach your kid to recite poetry. A simple storybook with large, easy to read words is perfect for this activity.

Other fun ways to engage your child in the reading process include reading aloud, writing, and playing games. Try to include all the above, and experiment to find the best methods for your child.

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How to Teach Your Kids to Read – The Best Way For Kids to Learn English

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How to Teach Your Kids to Read – The Best Way For Kids to Learn English

Learning to read is one of the most important skills a kid can learn. It is a skill that will help him become a productive member of society. Developing this skill takes a lot of practice. However, there are many things you can do to make it easier.

First, you’ll want to have your child learn the basic phonics skills that will enable him to read fluently. Phonics is the skill of learning to blend and break down words. This skill can also help your kid spell better. You can teach your child these skills by using a systematic phonics-based reading program.

Another way to teach your child to read is to use a whole language approach. These approaches encourage your child to think about the stories they read and to use the pictures to figure out what they mean. The techniques used by these methods are not suited for children with dyslexia, but they will help most kids develop a love for reading and improve their literacy skills.

To make the process as fun and natural as possible, you should give your kid a variety of books to read. Choose a mix of easy and challenging books. Start with the easier ones, and work your way up to harder ones. Make sure to let your kid choose what he’s reading. If your child has a good grasp of the English language, he’ll likely be interested in the topics and characters in the book.

One way to engage your kid in the reading process is to ask him to write something. Many preschools have special activities where children write letters with Play Doh or sand. Others have letters on magnets.

Kids will also benefit from watching their parents or teachers read aloud. Reading aloud introduces ideas and concepts and helps to create a more natural flow in the way you read. When you read a story, it’s good to use different voices for the characters.

In addition, you can re-read books. Children enjoy revisiting stories. They can read the same story a second time and remember more details. Rereading will also help your kid develop a deeper understanding of the words he has already learned. Ask your kid to re-read the book again, and make sure to discuss the story and the characters as you go along.

You may also want to play a game. For instance, you can give your kid a list of five words he does not recognize. As you read each word, he can trace it on the page. By doing this, he will be able to practice recognizing the pattern in the words.

The rhyming of a song is a great example of a rhyming poem. You can also teach your kid to recite poetry. A simple storybook with large, easy to read words is perfect for this activity.

Other fun ways to engage your child in the reading process include reading aloud, writing, and playing games. Try to include all the above, and experiment to find the best methods for your child.

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